1. I'm sorry.Copy !req
2. - Oh, it's okay.
- I'm sorry, baby.Copy !req
3. - I'm sorry.
- Fucking shoulder.Copy !req
4. Keep going.Copy !req
5. That's helping.Copy !req
6. Never.Copy !req
7. Just a little bit.
Just to clean it up.Copy !req
8. I'm not cutting it.Copy !req
9. But you'd look so hot
with short hair.Copy !req
10. - Oh, would I?
- Yeah.Copy !req
11. - Thank you.
- No, no, no...Copy !req
12. Sorry, I didn't mean it
like that.Copy !req
13. You are hot.Copy !req
14. You are the hottest.Copy !req
15. - Keep going.
- You and your gorgeous,Copy !req
16. thick, long hair.Copy !req
17. - Continue...
- I just fucking love the way it's long.Copy !req
18. Yeah?Copy !req
19. Happy Father's Day, Daddy!Copy !req
20. Kids, we said after breakfast.Copy !req
21. I want cake for breakfast.Copy !req
22. Wow! Chocolate with sprinkles!Copy !req
23. My favorite.Copy !req
24. Happy Father's Day!Copy !req
25. - Open it! Open it! Open it!
- Open it! Open it! Open it!Copy !req
26. I am, I am.Copy !req
27. I like building up
the anticipation.Copy !req
28. Oh, you guys...Copy !req
29. - You like it?
- I love it.Copy !req
30. Muah! I love it.Copy !req
31. - Thank you.
- Mom helped us.Copy !req
32. No, I didn't.
It was all their idea.Copy !req
33. - Right, kids?
- Right.Copy !req
34. - Cake! Cake! Cake!
- Cake! Cake! Cake!Copy !req
35. - Okay, okay.
- Cake! Cake! Cake!Copy !req
36. Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!Copy !req
37. Oh, look at that
beautiful looking cake!Copy !req
38. Ah...Copy !req
39. Who did this to monster!Copy !req
40. Oh, you can't hide from monster!Copy !req
41. Monster can smell you!Copy !req
42. Run! Run!
Monster's coming!Copy !req
43. Argh!Copy !req
44. Monster made kids disappear.Copy !req
45. And...Copy !req
46. Monster wanna finish
what we started.Copy !req
47. Too late, the kids are awake.Copy !req
48. Monster sad.Copy !req
49. I'm sure monster can
wait till Monday.Copy !req
50. Monster been waiting
three weeks.Copy !req
51. Yeah, but with the kids
and my exhibitionCopy !req
52. I cannot keep everybody
happy all the time.Copy !req
53. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
54. Monster doesn't want
to start a fight.Copy !req
55. Okay. Sorry, me neither.Copy !req
56. I promise we'll finish this
as soon as I get back.Copy !req
57. Oh, monster happy.Copy !req
58. Monster happy.Copy !req
59. Monster very happy.Copy !req
60. Yeah, Mommy.Copy !req
61. - Gracias.
- De nada.Copy !req
62. - Everybody packed?
- Yeah.Copy !req
63. Monkey, good boy.Copy !req
64. Dad, why can't we take
Monkey to the beach with us?Copy !req
65. Yeah, you know
he loves the beach.Copy !req
66. Monkey needs to stay here
and keep your dad companyCopy !req
67. so he doesn't stay
all alone during the weekend.Copy !req
68. - That's unfair.
- Knock-knock.Copy !req
69. Hey, Louis!Copy !req
70. Hey, guys,
hot off the presses.Copy !req
71. - What's going on, Louis?
- What's shakin'?Copy !req
72. What's going on, little guys?Copy !req
73. Mr. Webber, how are you, sir?Copy !req
74. Morning, Louis.Copy !req
75. I'd offer you a hand, but all
I can lift is this coffee.Copy !req
76. Oh, that's what happens when
you try to impress girls in the bat cage.Copy !req
77. I wasn't flirting,
I was being a gentleman.Copy !req
78. Yeah, I'm sure she was
a poor helpless 25-year-old.Copy !req
79. Yeah, helpless.Copy !req
80. Do you know what this is?Copy !req
81. Is it a Father's Day
present for Daddy?Copy !req
82. No. No, this is
Mommy's catalog.Copy !req
83. Assuming they got the color
right this time.Copy !req
84. Oh, let's hope.Copy !req
85. I think they did.Copy !req
86. It's a little bit magenta,
but it's almost perfect.Copy !req
87. - What's magenta?
- This color.Copy !req
88. Honey, it's perfect.Copy !req
89. Mom, can Louis come
to the beach with us?Copy !req
90. Yeah.Copy !req
91. No, Louis needs to stay here
and do some work.Copy !req
92. Just like your daddy.Copy !req
93. That's correct.Copy !req
94. Father's Day party that me and
your dad are gonna have tonight.Copy !req
95. Louis! Shh!Copy !req
96. - Oh, come on.
- You're not having a party.Copy !req
97. I'm not having a party,Copy !req
98. I'm working very hard.Copy !req
99. Did you pack your gun?Copy !req
100. - Yes.
- Did you pack the bomb?Copy !req
101. - Yes.
- Have you packed the cannon?Copy !req
102. - Yes.
- Have you packed the chainsaw?Copy !req
103. You didn't pack the chainsaw?Copy !req
104. Go get the chainsaw, man!Copy !req
105. The cement still hasn't dried,
but it should be fine by tomorrow night.Copy !req
106. Still, it's extremely fragile
and I don't trust those moversCopy !req
107. after the mess
they made at the gallery.Copy !req
108. Mmm-mmm. No, I'll take
care of it. Don't worry.Copy !req
109. Okay, gracias, I'll have it
all packed up for you.Copy !req
110. Okay.Copy !req
111. It's almost dry though.Copy !req
112. Yeah, so I'll just text you
when it's at the gallery.Copy !req
113. Don't worry about anything,Copy !req
114. I got it all under control.
You have a good weekend at the beach.Copy !req
115. Enjoy yourself. I'm out.Copy !req
116. Gracias, Louis.Copy !req
117. - Mr. Webber, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Thank you.Copy !req
118. I mean, "tonight"
for the super-secret party.Copy !req
119. - Louis...
- See you, kids.Copy !req
120. - Bye, Louis.
- Super-secret party?Copy !req
121. - Super-secret party.
- Okay.Copy !req
122. Is this the last one?Copy !req
123. - You like it?
- I love it.Copy !req
124. Good.Copy !req
125. I think it should be bigger.Copy !req
126. - You think so?
- Yeah, then we can get the pool.Copy !req
127. Okay, I'll do it
bigger next time.Copy !req
128. I told Vivian tomorrow
at 2:00.Copy !req
129. I don't need her therapy
anymore, it's healing.Copy !req
130. Tell that to your shoulder.Copy !req
131. Dad, are you sure
you can't come to the beach with us?Copy !req
132. I would love
nothing more, sport.Copy !req
133. But if Daddy doesn't work
this weekend, we'll have to live in a box.Copy !req
134. Do you guys
want to live in a box?Copy !req
135. - No.
- No. Not really.Copy !req
136. Me neither.
Unless I designed it.Copy !req
137. Okay, say goodbye to Daddy.Copy !req
138. Bye, Daddy.Copy !req
139. Say goodbye to Monkey.Copy !req
140. Bye, Monkey.Copy !req
141. Daddy, don't forget to send
all your party pix on Instagram.Copy !req
142. Okay.Copy !req
143. Call me when you get there.Copy !req
144. I will. I love you.Copy !req
145. - I love you.
- I love you.Copy !req
146. Bye, guys.Copy !req
147. - Bye.
- Bye, Daddy.Copy !req
148. Get a haircut, Dad!Copy !req
149. Well, Monkey...Copy !req
150. Looks like it's just me
and you, kid.Copy !req
151. Hey, baby.Copy !req
152. How's the house?Copy !req
153. Hi! It's perfect.Copy !req
154. Look. Kids, say hello
to your dad.Copy !req
155. - Hi!
- Hello.Copy !req
156. All it needs is you.Copy !req
157. - I love you.
- I love you, too.Copy !req
158. Miss you.Copy !req
159. Good night.Copy !req
160. Who's there?Copy !req
161. Just one second, sir, please.Copy !req
162. - Hello?
- Could I use your phone, please?Copy !req
163. Yes?Copy !req
164. We're so sorry
to bother you, sir,Copy !req
165. but could you please tell us
where the Gregorys live?Copy !req
166. This is the third house
we've tried.Copy !req
167. Looks like everyone's gone
for the long weekend.Copy !req
168. The Gregorys?Copy !req
169. No, I don't know anyone
around hereCopy !req
170. by that name.Copy !req
171. What's the address?Copy !req
172. Um,Copy !req
173. I honestly don't know.Copy !req
174. My phone got wet
and she left hers at her house.Copy !req
175. The taxi just dropped us here.Copy !req
176. We've been walking around
for, like, 20 minutes.Copy !req
177. Yeah, my feet are, like, dying.Copy !req
178. Well, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I can't help you.Copy !req
179. Bless you.Copy !req
180. Here.Copy !req
181. Thank you.Copy !req
182. Well, if you guys want
you can come in and use my phone.Copy !req
183. Oh, thanks, but...Copy !req
184. All our contacts are on
our phones.Copy !req
185. I... I don't even know my own number,
can you believe it?Copy !req
186. Maybe Ashley's on Facebook chat?Copy !req
187. Ah, genius.Copy !req
188. Actually, would you mind
if we just used your computer for a sec?Copy !req
189. We don't want to impose.Copy !req
190. We'll just get the address
and be out of your hair.Copy !req
191. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
192. Come in.Copy !req
193. Thank you.Copy !req
194. No, it's fine. Don't worry.Copy !req
195. Oh, I don't mind.Copy !req
196. We don't want to mess up
your house.Copy !req
197. Yeah. Excuse me.Copy !req
198. Um, thank you so, so much.Copy !req
199. - I know this is so random.
- It's fine.Copy !req
200. Hang on, I'll get you
an iPad and some towels.Copy !req
201. Thanks.Copy !req
202. Nice house.Copy !req
203. Thanks.Copy !req
204. Girls?Copy !req
205. We're in here.Copy !req
206. I'm so sorry,
it was warmer here.Copy !req
207. Hope you don't mind.Copy !req
208. We were freezing.Copy !req
209. Here.Copy !req
210. Oh, my God. Thank you.Copy !req
211. This is beyond embarrassing.Copy !req
212. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
213. Make yourselves at home.Copy !req
214. I'm Bel, by the way.Copy !req
215. Evan.Copy !req
216. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
217. Ashley's online.Copy !req
218. Cool.Copy !req
219. You're a life saver, Evan.Copy !req
220. Not everyone would just let two total
strangers into their house these days.Copy !req
221. Well, you don't look
that dangerous.Copy !req
222. Worst case scenario,Copy !req
223. I know I can
take the both of you.Copy !req
224. I'm not so sure.Copy !req
225. I do air boxing.Copy !req
226. - Air boxing?
- Yeah, like, you know?Copy !req
227. - Oh, okay.
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.Copy !req
228. - Excuse me, sir.
- Yes.Copy !req
229. - What's the address?
- His name's Evan.Copy !req
230. Evan?Copy !req
231. 458 Canter.Copy !req
232. Wow. We're like, far.Copy !req
233. It was Kantner, not Canter.Copy !req
234. The cab must've
misunderstood us.Copy !req
235. I told you that he was
going the wrong way.Copy !req
236. That guy barely spoke English.Copy !req
237. I mean, his English
was worse than mine.Copy !req
238. This is so retarded.Copy !req
239. Don't worry about it.
I'll call an Uber.Copy !req
240. No. No, no, no.Copy !req
241. We can find a cab outside.
It's no problem.Copy !req
242. Not around here, you won't.Copy !req
243. Trust me,
it's the only reliable way.Copy !req
244. You sure?
I feel like such an idiot.Copy !req
245. We don't want to ruin
your night.Copy !req
246. No really. It's fine.Copy !req
247. It's looking for a driver.Copy !req
248. And it'll be here in...Copy !req
249. 45 minutes.Copy !req
250. That long?Copy !req
251. The rain.Copy !req
252. We're lucky we even got one.Copy !req
253. What?Copy !req
254. Um, I know this is gonna
sound weird,Copy !req
255. but could we maybe throw our clothes in
your dryer just for, like, 10 minutes?Copy !req
256. We really don't want to go
to a party soaking wet.Copy !req
257. No.Copy !req
258. Please?Copy !req
259. Sure, sure. Um...Copy !req
260. We have some extra robes.
I'll, uh, go get them.Copy !req
261. - Thank you.
- Yay.Copy !req
262. This is literally
saving our lives.Copy !req
263. Yeah, we could get sick and die.Copy !req
264. You have your phone?Copy !req
265. Uh yeah, why?Copy !req
266. I can try and fix it.Copy !req
267. Really? Oh.Copy !req
268. My kid dropped mine in the tub,Copy !req
269. and you won't believe this,
but if you put it in riceCopy !req
270. it kinda dries it out.Copy !req
271. - That would be awesome.
- Rice?Copy !req
272. Oh, my God,
you're like a MythBuster.Copy !req
273. Thank you so much, Evan.Copy !req
274. You're welcome...Copy !req
275. - Genesis.
- Genesis.Copy !req
276. Yeah, like
the beginning of time.Copy !req
277. In the beginning.Copy !req
278. Sorry.Copy !req
279. Yup, that was...
You're sick of that.Copy !req
280. Thanks.Copy !req
281. I'll, uh...Copy !req
282. I'll go get you some.Copy !req
283. Hey, Evan?Copy !req
284. Where should we put these?Copy !req
285. Oh, I'll take them.Copy !req
286. No, we can do it.
We don't mind.Copy !req
287. I got it.Copy !req
288. I made you some tea.Copy !req
289. - Thank you.
- Thank you, that's nice.Copy !req
290. - So sweet.
- I'll trade you.Copy !req
291. Uh, okay.Copy !req
292. Gracias.Copy !req
293. Excuse me.Copy !req
294. Oh, my God.Copy !req
295. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
296. We were trying to warm up.Copy !req
297. Yeah, I mean, we've
never seen one of these before.Copy !req
298. - A real one.
- It's okay.Copy !req
299. Just be careful. It's old.Copy !req
300. I see you've met Monkey.Copy !req
301. Yeah, this is Monkey.Copy !req
302. It's time for Monkey
to go to bed.Copy !req
303. - Bye, Monkey.
- Night-night, Monkey.Copy !req
304. - Night-night.
- Sweet dreams.Copy !req
305. Bye, Monkey.Copy !req
306. All right, Monkey.Copy !req
307. Go home, Monkey.Copy !req
308. You have so many records.Copy !req
309. Sorry. We had to try one.Copy !req
310. Stop apologizing, it's okay.Copy !req
311. I love this album.
You have good taste.Copy !req
312. This is like...Copy !req
313. An insane collection.Copy !req
314. - Yeah.
- It must be worth a fortune.Copy !req
315. Well, everything's
online now, so...Copy !req
316. But, uh, I love
the sound of vinyl.Copy !req
317. You're really into music.Copy !req
318. Well, it used to be my job.Copy !req
319. What? Like a record salesman?Copy !req
320. I was a DJ.Copy !req
321. Oh, my God. That's so cool!Copy !req
322. You're like Major Lazer!Copy !req
323. It's really a hobby now,
I haven't had a real gig in years.Copy !req
324. Wait, how old are you?Copy !req
325. I'm 43.Copy !req
326. - No fucking way.
- I can't believe you're 43.Copy !req
327. I thought you were, like,
28 or 30 at the most.Copy !req
328. Well, I got married
when I was 30.Copy !req
329. Where's your wife?Copy !req
330. She's at the beach with my kids.Copy !req
331. We were gonna spend
Father's Day there, but, uh, work happened.Copy !req
332. Oh, my God, you are all
alone on Father's Day.Copy !req
333. Poor Evan, we'll keep
you company!Copy !req
334. Hugs!Copy !req
335. No, it's fine.
We celebrated this morning.Copy !req
336. Whoa, you're not 43.Copy !req
337. You must work out,
like, every day.Copy !req
338. Yeah, I keep in shape.Copy !req
339. Not like when I was
in my 20s, but, uh...Copy !req
340. Come on, any guy that rippedCopy !req
341. is more into his own ass
than yours.Copy !req
342. Yeah, I mean, like, seriously,Copy !req
343. is that all you do?Copy !req
344. Oh, my God,Copy !req
345. I remember
I fucked this model once,Copy !req
346. and while we were having sexCopy !req
347. I caught him doing
crunches in the mirror.Copy !req
348. It was the gayest thing ever.Copy !req
349. I'd take somebody that's older and more
experienced over an Abercrombie model any day.Copy !req
350. Yeah.Copy !req
351. Well, hopefully one day
you'll find both.Copy !req
352. I don't know.Copy !req
353. Underwear models are the kind of guys
you fuck when you're 14.Copy !req
354. That's a statement.Copy !req
355. - This is your wife?
- Yup.Copy !req
356. I want to see it.Copy !req
357. Wow! She's so pretty.Copy !req
358. She's beautiful.
You're a lucky guy.Copy !req
359. Yeah, I certainly am.Copy !req
360. I'm just an architect, but, uh,Copy !req
361. she's the real deal.Copy !req
362. Most of what you see is hers.Copy !req
363. - She made all these?
- Yeah.Copy !req
364. Wow.Copy !req
365. They're so pretty.Copy !req
366. I love these colors.Copy !req
367. Red's my favorite.Copy !req
368. This is amazing.Copy !req
369. I actually studied art history.Copy !req
370. I'm no expert, I was only
there for a semester, but,Copy !req
371. this...Copy !req
372. This is like a Gaudi building,
but small.Copy !req
373. Yeah, my wife loves Gaudi.Copy !req
374. She was, uh,
she was born in Barcelona.Copy !req
375. Like me?Copy !req
376. English, English.
You guys sound too sexy.Copy !req
377. That's about the extent
of my Spanish anyway.Copy !req
378. My kids speak it perfectly.Copy !req
379. Your wife's an amazing artist.Copy !req
380. Why are these sculptures here?Copy !req
381. They should be in like, MOMA.Copy !req
382. Actually, um...Copy !req
383. It's not exactly MOMA...Copy !req
384. But she's having a big
gallery show in LA.Copy !req
385. Karen Alvarado.
That's such a pretty name.Copy !req
386. An architect and an artist.Copy !req
387. You guys
are like the perfect couple.Copy !req
388. And she's so hot.Copy !req
389. You must have sex,
like, all day.Copy !req
390. - Bel!
- What?Copy !req
391. I would.Copy !req
392. She sees a hot girl
and chases after her.Copy !req
393. Well, it's okay.
I have no complaints.Copy !req
394. Sorry, I was just being honest.Copy !req
395. No, no. It's fine.Copy !req
396. Um, but, uh...Copy !req
397. I must sayCopy !req
398. I'm not used to girls just
being so open about that.Copy !req
399. About what?Copy !req
400. Sex?Copy !req
401. No, I mean... Yes.Copy !req
402. - Yeah.
- Yes.Copy !req
403. It's just sex.Copy !req
404. Right.Copy !req
405. Now you seem old.Copy !req
406. Sorry. So sorry.Copy !req
407. Twenty minutes away.Copy !req
408. How long have you
and your wife been together?Copy !req
409. I was 29 and she was 20.Copy !req
410. It's been awhile.Copy !req
411. So you haven't been
with anyone else in all those years?Copy !req
412. Fourteen years, nope.Copy !req
413. Wow.Copy !req
414. How is that even possible?Copy !req
415. Well, when you love someone...Copy !req
416. Come on, Evan.Copy !req
417. Humans are the only species
that practice monogamy.Copy !req
418. I mean, we're animals.
We're more animals than animals.Copy !req
419. It's in our DNA.Copy !req
420. Like, being with one person
your whole life,Copy !req
421. is going against
your own nature.Copy !req
422. Look.Copy !req
423. It's like this.Copy !req
424. I understand men.Copy !req
425. I know whenever I get married,Copy !req
426. my husband is gonna want to be
with other girls.Copy !req
427. So, I want to get comfortable
with having threesomes now,Copy !req
428. because I know that's the only way
he'll never cheat on me.Copy !req
429. Wow.Copy !req
430. So, are you guys...
What do you guys do?Copy !req
431. I mean, are you...
Are you in school or something?Copy !req
432. I mean...Copy !req
433. Actually,
we're flight attendants.Copy !req
434. Really?Copy !req
435. What would you like
for your entree, sir?Copy !req
436. We have chicken...Copy !req
437. And pasta.Copy !req
438. Please buckle
your seatbelt, sir.Copy !req
439. We may be encountering
some turbulence.Copy !req
440. So...Copy !req
441. Where you guys based out of?Copy !req
442. Everywhere.Copy !req
443. Last weekend we were in
New Zealand for 24 hours.Copy !req
444. It was awesome.Copy !req
445. Wow, how was that jet lag?Copy !req
446. We don't sleep.Copy !req
447. It's like being
a fake rock star.Copy !req
448. You know, you fly
around the world first class,Copy !req
449. drinks are on the house
and they pay you for it.Copy !req
450. I'm jealous.Copy !req
451. I once got offered a tour
when I was a DJ.Copy !req
452. Not like you guys, but, uh,
Tri-State area.Copy !req
453. Yeah, well, I think traveling
is the best way to get life experience.Copy !req
454. Especially when you're
only there for 24 hours.Copy !req
455. You really make the most of it.Copy !req
456. Yeah, we make the most of it.Copy !req
457. Unlike that fucking
starfish we work with. Ugh.Copy !req
458. Ugh, starfish.Copy !req
459. - Starfish?
- This girl we work with...Copy !req
460. She doesn't have to do
anything in bed,Copy !req
461. she just lies there
like a fucking starfish.Copy !req
462. Hence, starfish.Copy !req
463. I mean,
who'd want to fuck that?Copy !req
464. I don't understand
girls like that.Copy !req
465. When I'm with a guy,
I want him to have the time of his life.Copy !req
466. - No rules.
- None.Copy !req
467. Nothing's off limit, sexually.Copy !req
468. Sex with boundaries
isn't really sex.Copy !req
469. If our bodies are capable
of doing it,Copy !req
470. then we were meant to. Right?Copy !req
471. Oh, Evan?
Can I use your bathroom?Copy !req
472. Of course. It's, uh, down
the hall on the right.Copy !req
473. Thanks.Copy !req
474. I don't know any of these.Copy !req
475. Well, I have pretty
eclectic taste.Copy !req
476. You have Spanish music.Copy !req
477. Chilean, actually.Copy !req
478. My wife loves her,
Fran Valenzuela.Copy !req
479. Can you put it on?Copy !req
480. Sure.Copy !req
481. She's really talented.Copy !req
482. She started composing
when she was 13.Copy !req
483. This is her third album.Copy !req
484. Wow!Copy !req
485. How did you know
that would mix?Copy !req
486. DJ'ing is like mixing a drink.Copy !req
487. First you find
the right ingredients,Copy !req
488. then you find the blend.Copy !req
489. Evan, I have something
to confess.Copy !req
490. Yes?Copy !req
491. I'm glad we knocked
on your door.Copy !req
492. I'm having a way better
time hereCopy !req
493. then at that stupid party we were
supposed to go to.Copy !req
494. Well, I have to confess,
it's not usually this exciting around hereCopy !req
495. at 1:30 in the morning.Copy !req
496. It's like destiny
that we were meant to meet.Copy !req
497. Do you believe in destiny, Evan?Copy !req
498. I'm an architect.Copy !req
499. So obviously I believe
that things happen by your own design.Copy !req
500. Well, I do.Copy !req
501. I don't think
people just meet randomly.Copy !req
502. I think that
if we are here, together,Copy !req
503. it's becauseCopy !req
504. there's something we have to
learn from each other.Copy !req
505. Discover.Copy !req
506. It's here.Copy !req
507. I'll go get Genesis.Copy !req
508. I'll get your clothes.Copy !req
509. What the fuck!Copy !req
510. Guys!Copy !req
511. Guys, the car's outside.Copy !req
512. Guys, I have your clothes,
they're pretty much dry.Copy !req
513. Guys!Copy !req
514. All right, I'm coming in,Copy !req
515. I'm not looking, so excuse me.Copy !req
516. - Surprise!
- Surprise!Copy !req
517. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
518. - Come on, Evan. Join us.
- Yeah, join the party.Copy !req
519. - Come here.
- The car's outside.Copy !req
520. The car can wait. Come on.Copy !req
521. I'm gonna tell the driver
that you're coming out.Copy !req
522. Get dressed. Now.Copy !req
523. Please. Here's your clothes.Copy !req
524. Evan. Look at us.Copy !req
525. Come on...Copy !req
526. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop. Stop. Stop.Copy !req
527. I can't do this.
I'm married.Copy !req
528. Happily. Okay?Copy !req
529. Yes. You can.Copy !req
530. Hey, it's our little secret.Copy !req
531. Whoa, stop. Stop.Copy !req
532. It's just sex.
We're all adults here.Copy !req
533. I'm flattered.Copy !req
534. But really, I can't.
Please, get dressed.Copy !req
535. Yeah, you can.Copy !req
536. Come on, just one day.Copy !req
537. Just relax and enjoy it.Copy !req
538. You like this?Copy !req
539. Have you ever had two girls
do this to you before?Copy !req
540. - Happy Father's Day!
- Happy Father's Day!Copy !req
541. It's time for the Family Feud!Copy !req
542. Introducing the Levy family!Copy !req
543. - Morning, Daddy.
- Evan! Evan!Copy !req
544. Watch this!Copy !req
545. Belly! Belly! Catch! Catch!Copy !req
546. Sorry, Belly.Copy !req
547. I thought you guys left.Copy !req
548. - We made you breakky.
- I'm not hungry.Copy !req
549. Monkey, that's mine.Copy !req
550. And the star of Family Feud,
Richard Dawson!Copy !req
551. You two live together?Copy !req
552. Yeah.Copy !req
553. Where?Copy !req
554. Why, Evan?Copy !req
555. So I can drive you there.Copy !req
556. I haven't been home
in like four years.Copy !req
557. This could be our home.Copy !req
558. I'll drive you
wherever you want.Copy !req
559. Did I say something funny?Copy !req
560. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
561. I want to go to Paris, Evan.Copy !req
562. No, let's go to Tokyo.Copy !req
563. London.Copy !req
564. Rome.Copy !req
565. Don't let your breakky get cold.Copy !req
566. Hey, baby.Copy !req
567. Hey, you're alive.Copy !req
568. Yeah, ah, barely.Copy !req
569. I forgot how strong
Vanessa's weed was.Copy !req
570. I just woke up.Copy !req
571. You are such a lightweight.Copy !req
572. - How are the kids?
- Not so good.Copy !req
573. - What happened?
- Evan!Copy !req
574. Jake got stung by a jellyfish.
He was crying.Copy !req
575. - Oh, no!
- Yeah.Copy !req
576. Poor little guy.Copy !req
577. - He's okay now.
- Where is he?Copy !req
578. He's back at the beach.Copy !req
579. It was a little bit hairy
for a while,Copy !req
580. but now he's okay.Copy !req
581. What about you?
How's your project?Copy !req
582. Great. Great. Great.Copy !req
583. Uh, I'm in a really good
groove now,Copy !req
584. so, home stretch.Copy !req
585. Okay, then don't let me
interrupt you.Copy !req
586. Let's talk later.
You seem a little distracted.Copy !req
587. No. That's not what I meant.Copy !req
588. It's just...Copy !req
589. so I don't have to think
about it, you know?Copy !req
590. Maybe if I get done early,
I can,Copy !req
591. I can drive out there.Copy !req
592. Baby, I get it. Don't stress.Copy !req
593. Do what you have to do.Copy !req
594. - I love you.
- Love you, too.Copy !req
595. Don't smoke all our weed.Copy !req
596. I won't. I promise.Copy !req
597. - Bye.
- Ciao.Copy !req
598. Shit! Shit! Shit!Copy !req
599. Are you hungry now?Copy !req
600. Get up! And get dressed!Copy !req
601. Right now!Copy !req
602. Excuse me, sir.
Can you tell me where Evan is?Copy !req
603. You know, that sweet guy that
saved two girls from the rain?Copy !req
604. He's gone. Get the fuck up.Copy !req
605. Let's go.Copy !req
606. I don't appreciate
your tone of voice.Copy !req
607. Go!Copy !req
608. Come on, Belly. Looks like
Evan lost his sense of humor.Copy !req
609. Go!Copy !req
610. Hello!Copy !req
611. Let's go!Copy !req
612. Where's Bel?Copy !req
613. I don't know,
she's not my friend.Copy !req
614. Bel!Copy !req
615. Bel!Copy !req
616. Bel?Copy !req
617. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
618. You tell us to get dressed.Copy !req
619. Come on. Playtime's over.Copy !req
620. Evan, can you hold me?Copy !req
621. Please, just once more.Copy !req
622. - Please, I miss your hugs.
- Bel. Listen to me.Copy !req
623. You're leaving. Now.Copy !req
624. Get dressed.Copy !req
625. - I love you.
- Bel...Copy !req
626. - I love you.
- No!Copy !req
627. I love you so much.Copy !req
628. God damn it! Fuck!Copy !req
629. I love you. I can't help it.Copy !req
630. I'm crazy about you.Copy !req
631. You have three minutes!Copy !req
632. I'll be outside!Copy !req
633. Get dressed!Copy !req
634. Let's go!Copy !req
635. What in the fuck
are you doing!Copy !req
636. You have any idea
what you've done?Copy !req
637. Yeah. It's called art.Copy !req
638. We were inspired
from last night. Remember?Copy !req
639. I'm calling the fucking police.Copy !req
640. Go ahead.Copy !req
641. What the fuck is so funny!Copy !req
642. I just have
a funny story for them.Copy !req
643. It's called
"To Catch a Predator."Copy !req
644. What the fuck are you
talking about?Copy !req
645. Fifteen to 20 years?Copy !req
646. I think it is 20.Copy !req
647. Fifteen gets you 20, right?Copy !req
648. - I don't believe it.
- You don't have to.Copy !req
649. The jury will.Copy !req
650. Statutory rape, Evan.Copy !req
651. Twenty years behind bars.Copy !req
652. And that's just for one of us.Copy !req
653. And I'm not planning
on taking a shower.Copy !req
654. I have evidence.Copy !req
655. Really?Copy !req
656. So how could you be a flight
attendant if you're only 15?Copy !req
657. What the fuck! What?Copy !req
658. We saw that in a movie, Evan.Copy !req
659. I told you he'd believe it.Copy !req
660. Do you want to check my ID?Copy !req
661. She doesn't have one,
she's too young.Copy !req
662. Okay.Copy !req
663. What do you want?Copy !req
664. We want to make breakky
for you every morning.Copy !req
665. Come on.Copy !req
666. Just tell me.
How much do you want?Copy !req
667. Don't be mad, Evan.Copy !req
668. That's not you.Copy !req
669. - You're different from the others.
- Yeah.Copy !req
670. How much!Copy !req
671. What do you think we are,
hookers?Copy !req
672. Jesus, Evan,
we're not fucking whores!Copy !req
673. Yeah.Copy !req
674. You're the fucking whore!Copy !req
675. Whore!Copy !req
676. Evan?Copy !req
677. It's Vivian!Copy !req
678. Do not move!Copy !req
679. Evan!Copy !req
680. Evan, I'm so sorry I'm late,Copy !req
681. but that storm blew
branches out all over town.Copy !req
682. It even knocked
two traffic lights out.Copy !req
683. I swear, I swear I was sitting
there for 15 minutesCopy !req
684. and I was trying to navigate,
but there was repair trucks.Copy !req
685. It's fine. It's fine.Copy !req
686. Actually, I'm feeling
much better.Copy !req
687. Oh, then that's really goodCopy !req
688. because then this'll help.Copy !req
689. I'll give you
a relaxation massage,Copy !req
690. it'll help circulate.Copy !req
691. Actually... Karen should have
told you,Copy !req
692. I have a lot of work to do
this weekend.Copy !req
693. I love Karen. I love her
so much, how is she?Copy !req
694. She is so talented.Copy !req
695. I cannot wait
to see her exhibition.Copy !req
696. In fact, you know what?Copy !req
697. Jim and I are going
to drive up for the openingCopy !req
698. if I can get out
of that conferenceCopy !req
699. I have in Sonoma
with those massage therapists.Copy !req
700. You know how that can be.Copy !req
701. He doesn't want your massage.Copy !req
702. Do you, baby?Copy !req
703. Get back inside.Copy !req
704. Don't let me get cold.Copy !req
705. This is really upsetting, okay?Copy !req
706. I'm here to heal,Copy !req
707. but this is really...
This is upsetting!Copy !req
708. - It's upsetting!
- It's not what you think.Copy !req
709. No, no.
It's exactly what I think!Copy !req
710. But you know what?
It's your life.Copy !req
711. - Vivian, please.
- I... Don't.Copy !req
712. It's your relationship, Evan.Copy !req
713. Look, I'm a DJ like Evan!Copy !req
714. Why didn't you let
your girlfriend in?Copy !req
715. Are you ashamed of us?
Or are you fucking her, too?Copy !req
716. - Get out of my house!
- Be careful,Copy !req
717. these two cute little girls
can put you behind barsCopy !req
718. - for the rest of your life!
- Get out of my house!Copy !req
719. What would your client say?
Your neighbors?Copy !req
720. What would your wife say if we told
her everything we did last night?Copy !req
721. Get out!Copy !req
722. It's gonna be such a shame
to see your wife divorce you!Copy !req
723. And your business ruinedCopy !req
724. over a single night
of perversion!Copy !req
725. You wanna go door-to-door
telling your neighborsCopy !req
726. you're a child molester?Copy !req
727. What would the other parents do?Copy !req
728. Let their kids play here if
you're a convicted pedophile?Copy !req
729. There's Evan!Copy !req
730. There's Evan!Copy !req
731. I didn't think
you had it in you.Copy !req
732. 911, what's your emergency?Copy !req
733. I'd like to report a break-in.Copy !req
734. You're calling from 458...Copy !req
735. Can you give us a ride?Copy !req
736. Let's go.Copy !req
737. Well, this isn't awkward at all.Copy !req
738. Cool car, Evan.Copy !req
739. This one on the right.Copy !req
740. Out.Copy !req
741. You're not gonna get out
and say bye?Copy !req
742. Go.Copy !req
743. Don't you want to come in
and meet my mom?Copy !req
744. - Oh!
- Bye!Copy !req
745. Send our love
to Karen and the kids!Copy !req
746. Bye!Copy !req
747. Hello?Copy !req
748. Oh, my God!Copy !req
749. Oh!Copy !req
750. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
751. Genesis, please,
this is crazy, untie me!Copy !req
752. What's the point of this?Copy !req
753. I'm a good person.Copy !req
754. I made a mistake.Copy !req
755. We can forget
this ever happened.Copy !req
756. Please! Please!Copy !req
757. Haven't you ever made a mistake?Copy !req
758. Daddy!Copy !req
759. Oh, Daddy!Copy !req
760. Look what I found.Copy !req
761. Oh, my God!Copy !req
762. You take that off.Copy !req
763. That's my daughter's.
You take that off!Copy !req
764. You like how it fits me, Daddy?Copy !req
765. - Look.
- Take those off,Copy !req
766. you fucking crazy bitch!Copy !req
767. Okay.Copy !req
768. You know,
every girl's first loveCopy !req
769. is their daddy, huh?Copy !req
770. You're sick.Copy !req
771. You like what you see?Copy !req
772. Huh?
You like what you see?Copy !req
773. Daddy?Copy !req
774. - Huh?
- No.Copy !req
775. Bel.Copy !req
776. Untie me.Copy !req
777. Untie me, please.Copy !req
778. If you really love me,Copy !req
779. untie me.Copy !req
780. Ignore that asshole.Copy !req
781. He's not an asshole.Copy !req
782. He's my Daddy.Copy !req
783. You don't listen to her, Daddy.Copy !req
784. She doesn't love you
the way I do.Copy !req
785. I love you, Daddy.Copy !req
786. I've loved you ever since
Mommy brought you home.Copy !req
787. Remember that night
when we were all aloneCopy !req
788. and you snuck into my room?Copy !req
789. And I pretended to be asleep.Copy !req
790. But when you took off
my clothes,Copy !req
791. I couldn't pretend any longer.Copy !req
792. We did things
you and Mommy never did.Copy !req
793. I hope you're not angry
at me anymore, Daddy.Copy !req
794. I only did that to MommyCopy !req
795. because I wanted you
all to myself.Copy !req
796. Bel, Bel, untie me, please?Copy !req
797. Please.Copy !req
798. You can tuck me in
like you always did.Copy !req
799. What's wrong, Daddy?Copy !req
800. Huh?Copy !req
801. Don't you want to fuck
your little girl again?Copy !req
802. Did you forget what you did
to me all those years?Copy !req
803. Why did you do that to me?Copy !req
804. Why did you do that to me!Copy !req
805. - Bel...
- Why?Copy !req
806. Stop! Bel!Copy !req
807. Stop! Bel!Copy !req
808. Bel, stop!Copy !req
809. Why did you do that to me!Copy !req
810. Why!
Why did you do that to me!Copy !req
811. Stop! Stop!Copy !req
812. Bel! Stop, please!Copy !req
813. Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
814. Shh.Copy !req
815. Untie me.Copy !req
816. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
817. You're not hiding something,
are you, Evan?Copy !req
818. What are you hiding here, huh?Copy !req
819. Come on, where is it, Daddy?Copy !req
820. It's Karen on FaceTime!Copy !req
821. - I've been dying to meet her.
- Answer it.Copy !req
822. - Let's get to know her.
- No! No!Copy !req
823. You're right,
this could get awkward.Copy !req
824. - What are you doing?
- Much better.Copy !req
825. Don't!Copy !req
826. Can a cock answer an iPhone?Copy !req
827. Yes, Belly,
but it's gotta be hard.Copy !req
828. Okay.Copy !req
829. No! Please!Copy !req
830. - It could be my kids!
- Hi Evan, welcome back.Copy !req
831. So? Have they ever seen
a cheating dick before?Copy !req
832. How about covered
in her lipstick?Copy !req
833. Okay! Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay. Please.Copy !req
834. Bel, I'll do whatever you want.Copy !req
835. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
836. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
837. Now, fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
838. - Fuck me!
- Attaboy, Evan.Copy !req
839. Fuck her.Copy !req
840. Fuck her
like it was last night.Copy !req
841. Yeah, fuck her good!Copy !req
842. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
843. Fuck me like you fuck
your little daughter!Copy !req
844. Doggy style, Belly!Copy !req
845. You want something to eat, Bel?Copy !req
846. No, I'm okay.Copy !req
847. Okay.Copy !req
848. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
849. Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!Copy !req
850. Yeah, Daddy's little girl!Copy !req
851. You're a good little girl!Copy !req
852. - Fuck me, Daddy!
- Yeah!Copy !req
853. Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!Copy !req
854. Ow!Copy !req
855. Arghh!Copy !req
856. My scar! My scar! My scar!Copy !req
857. My surgery!Copy !req
858. You've been
a very bad boy, Evan!Copy !req
859. Please, please, please
take it out! Take it out!Copy !req
860. Oh, my God!Copy !req
861. Oh, my...Copy !req
862. God!Copy !req
863. Why did you hit me, Daddy?Copy !req
864. Now we have to punish you.Copy !req
865. Welcome to America's
favorite game show,Copy !req
866. Who Wants to be a Pedophile!Copy !req
867. Where we give the audience
what they want!Copy !req
868. The chance to punish
a pedophile.Copy !req
869. But first,Copy !req
870. let's welcome our lovely,
beautiful and charming,Copy !req
871. Ms. Bel!Copy !req
872. Hello, Ms. Bel.Copy !req
873. For tonight's contestant,Copy !req
874. we have a very special one,Copy !req
875. he's not only an architect
but also a DJ,Copy !req
876. a husband, a father of two,Copy !req
877. possibly three.Copy !req
878. Four.Copy !req
879. All the way from
one percent land,Copy !req
880. Mr. Evan Webber!Copy !req
881. Ms. Bel, would you please
get our contestant ready?Copy !req
882. Sure.Copy !req
883. You're both crazy
fucking bitches!Copy !req
884. You look 21, you lied to me!Copy !req
885. Oh, like you lied to your wife?Copy !req
886. What I tell my wife is
none of your goddamn...Copy !req
887. God! God!Copy !req
888. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
My ears! My ears!Copy !req
889. I'll go deaf! I'll go deaf!Copy !req
890. This is fucking serious!Copy !req
891. I could go deaf!Copy !req
892. The game hasn't started yet.Copy !req
893. Our first category...Copy !req
894. Schoolyards.Copy !req
895. How far away from schoolCopy !req
896. will Evan have
to pick up his kids?Copy !req
897. 100 yards?Copy !req
898. 500 yards?Copy !req
899. Or two miles?Copy !req
900. This is fucking sick!Copy !req
901. Arghh!Copy !req
902. Wrong answer.
Correct answer isCopy !req
903. you can't pick up
your kids from prison.Copy !req
904. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!Copy !req
905. Please!Copy !req
906. What's our next category,
Ms. Bel?Copy !req
907. I love this one.Copy !req
908. Daddies.Copy !req
909. Evan, this should be
easy for you.Copy !req
910. How many family men
have survived this game?Copy !req
911. None.Copy !req
912. What was that?Copy !req
913. None.Copy !req
914. Correct!Copy !req
915. - Next question.
- Genesis.Copy !req
916. You've proved your point.Copy !req
917. God! I can't hear!
I can't hear!Copy !req
918. Please stop!Copy !req
919. All you have to do is
answer the question, Evan.Copy !req
920. Okay.Copy !req
921. Okay.Copy !req
922. Well, ask it, for fuck's sake!Copy !req
923. What's the proper punishment
for a pedophile?Copy !req
924. Is it prison where
you get raped every dayCopy !req
925. and you never get to see
your family again?Copy !req
926. Castration?Copy !req
927. Or death?Copy !req
928. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tick-tock.Copy !req
929. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.Copy !req
930. Ten seconds.Copy !req
931. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.Copy !req
932. Well, looks like it's time for
our first commercial break.Copy !req
933. We'll be back after a message
from our sponsors.Copy !req
934. Hello. It's me, Louis!Copy !req
935. Mr. Webber?Copy !req
936. Who's Louis?Copy !req
937. Fucking douche bag.Copy !req
938. Get that sheet, cover him up.Copy !req
939. Shh!Copy !req
940. - You must be Louis.
- Yes.Copy !req
941. I'm Bernadette.
I'm Uncle Evan's niece.Copy !req
942. Oh, hi, nice to meet you.Copy !req
943. Obviously, you're with
Uncle Evan.Copy !req
944. Sorry, we're shooting
a music video.Copy !req
945. Well, you guys picked
an awesome location.Copy !req
946. Come on in.Copy !req
947. So where'd you come in from?Copy !req
948. - Dallas.
- Oh? I used to live in Austin.Copy !req
949. Oh, I've never been.Copy !req
950. Well, it's fun when
you're in college.Copy !req
951. Yeah, I went to Parsons.Copy !req
952. Oh, great school.Copy !req
953. I went to SVA.Copy !req
954. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
955. - I'm Louis.
- Hi.Copy !req
956. - Hi. I'm...
- She's Macarena.Copy !req
957. - She's my friend from Spain.
—Oh.Copy !req
958. - He's here to pick up...
- The art work outside.Copy !req
959. - Yes.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
960. - Somebody touch this?
- We didn't touch it.Copy !req
961. It's Aunt Karen's stuff,
we wouldn't go near it.Copy !req
962. I did see Evan in here earlier,Copy !req
963. maybe he did.Copy !req
964. Okay,Copy !req
965. 'cause it's not supposed
to be like this.Copy !req
966. It's supposed to be bubble-wrapped
and packed up and ready to go.Copy !req
967. - Why would Evan do this?
- She said it wasn't us.Copy !req
968. Okay.Copy !req
969. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
970. Oh, my God.Copy !req
971. What the fuck did y'all do?Copy !req
972. What the fuck is this shit!Copy !req
973. We didn't want to tell you,
someone broke inCopy !req
974. and that's why Evan's out.Copy !req
975. - He was chasing them.
- Yeah.Copy !req
976. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
977. Shut the fuck up,
both of you right now!Copy !req
978. Nobody fucking move!Copy !req
979. I'm calling the cops right now.Copy !req
980. Please don't tell Karen.Copy !req
981. This could be our little secret.Copy !req
982. Bitch, you're barking up
the wrong fucking tree.Copy !req
983. I'm from Oakland, ho!Copy !req
984. I know two ghetto ass
hos when I see 'em!Copy !req
985. Come to think of it,
Evan doesn't even have any fucking nieces.Copy !req
986. Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
987. You better hope the police
get here before Karen does.Copy !req
988. - What the fuck was that?
- Nothing.Copy !req
989. - Hey, wait.
- Wait.Copy !req
990. - It's nothing.
- Get out of my way!Copy !req
991. Shit.Copy !req
992. Shit!Copy !req
993. Mr. Webber!Copy !req
994. Are you okay? Oh, fuck!Copy !req
995. They're crazy!Copy !req
996. Close the door.
Close the door.Copy !req
997. Louis!Copy !req
998. - I gotta stop these crazy ass bitches.
- Louis, forget it!Copy !req
999. They're dangerous!Copy !req
1000. No! No! Stop!Copy !req
1001. Stop it!Copy !req
1002. What are you doing!Copy !req
1003. Looking for this?Copy !req
1004. Louis! Be careful!Copy !req
1005. They're crazy!Copy !req
1006. Monkey in the middle!
Monkey in the middle!Copy !req
1007. We can't say
that, Belly, it's racist.Copy !req
1008. Okay, man in the middle!Copy !req
1009. Give it to him!Copy !req
1010. No, Genesis, give him that!Copy !req
1011. Louis!Copy !req
1012. Louis!Copy !req
1013. Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault!
Please call an ambulance, help him!Copy !req
1014. Fucker!Copy !req
1015. Bel, please help him!Copy !req
1016. Call an ambulance, I promise
I won't say anything!Copy !req
1017. Bel, Genesis! Call an ambulance,
for fuck's sake!Copy !req
1018. I think it's a little late
for an ambulance, Evan.Copy !req
1019. He tripped, it's his fault.Copy !req
1020. We were just playing
monkey in the middle.Copy !req
1021. I mean, man in the middle.Copy !req
1022. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1023. You killed him!Copy !req
1024. You killed him!Copy !req
1025. Your wife killed him
with her shitty sculpture.Copy !req
1026. This shit's dangerous, Evan.Copy !req
1027. How can you keep
this here with kids?Copy !req
1028. That's irresponsible parenting.Copy !req
1029. Yeah maybe your wife
should stick to painting.Copy !req
1030. Get the fuck away from me!Copy !req
1031. Where do you think
you're going, Evan?Copy !req
1032. Get the fuck off me!
Leave me alone!Copy !req
1033. Wanna go for a little ride?Copy !req
1034. You can't run away
from us, Daddy.Copy !req
1035. You can't escape.Copy !req
1036. Ahhh!Copy !req
1037. This is what happens when you break
the rules of the game, Evan.Copy !req
1038. This is just like art class.Copy !req
1039. What I did to Karen's statueCopy !req
1040. is nothing compared
to what I'm going to do to youCopy !req
1041. if I ever see your
fucking lying face again.Copy !req
1042. I trusted you both,
how could you fuck my wife?Copy !req
1043. Never come
near my family again.Copy !req
1044. Disappear or you're
fucking dead.Copy !req
1045. Which way is MOMA?Copy !req
1046. It's more like "momma."Copy !req
1047. Ronnie is gonna have
a field day with this one.Copy !req
1048. Yeah, I'm sure he will.Copy !req
1049. That guy's a magician.Copy !req
1050. Yeah.Copy !req
1051. He can make anything disappear.Copy !req
1052. Let's finish this.Copy !req
1053. Wow, those were some
really long commercials.Copy !req
1054. Thanks to our sponsor Louis
for that little lovely break.Copy !req
1055. Now! Back to our
million dollar question.Copy !req
1056. What is the proper punishment
for a pedophile?Copy !req
1057. Please.Copy !req
1058. I love my children.
I love my wife.Copy !req
1059. I'm a good father.Copy !req
1060. How can you judge anyone?Copy !req
1061. You're murderers.Copy !req
1062. Is that your final answer?Copy !req
1063. Cause you're gonna go deaf
in about 10 seconds from now.Copy !req
1064. Please, Genesis!Copy !req
1065. I'm a good father!Copy !req
1066. Until yesterday.Copy !req
1067. That doesn't change
how much I love them!Copy !req
1068. Do you really love them, Evan?Copy !req
1069. Really?Copy !req
1070. More than anything in the world.Copy !req
1071. So why didn't you think of
them when you were inside us?Copy !req
1072. Yeah, why, Evan?Copy !req
1073. Last night had nothing
to do with my family.Copy !req
1074. Damn right it didn't, Evan!Copy !req
1075. It had nothing
to do with them.Copy !req
1076. Your family are victims.Copy !req
1077. Victims of your sleazy, disgusting,
perverted behavior.Copy !req
1078. Jake. Lisa.Copy !req
1079. They don't deserve
a father like you.Copy !req
1080. This is what you did
to your family.Copy !req
1081. You pervert.Copy !req
1082. Genesis, please,
this isn't the answer!Copy !req
1083. Wrong answer.Copy !req
1084. Correct answer is death.Copy !req
1085. We'll be back
after this commercial break.Copy !req
1086. Death?Copy !req
1087. Death?Copy !req
1088. You're gonna kill me?Copy !req
1089. You're gonna fucking kill me!Copy !req
1090. Why? Why!
Because I fucked you?Copy !req
1091. You fucked me!
You fucked me!Copy !req
1092. You came to my house!
You came to me!Copy !req
1093. I got you a car,
I brought you your clothes,Copy !req
1094. you took a fucking bubble bath!Copy !req
1095. You wanted it! You wanted it!
You came on to me!Copy !req
1096. What was I supposed to do?Copy !req
1097. You sucked my cock, you both
fucking sucked my cock!Copy !req
1098. It was free pizza!
Free fucking pizza!Copy !req
1099. It just shows up
at my fucking door!Copy !req
1100. What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
1101. "We're flight attendants.
Come on, fuck us!Copy !req
1102. "No one will know.
Come on, fuck us!"Copy !req
1103. Oh, twosomes, threesomes.
It doesn't matter!Copy !req
1104. Starfish! Husbands!
You don't give a fuck,Copy !req
1105. you'll just fuck anything,
you'll just fuck anything!Copy !req
1106. Well, you lied to me,
I tried to help you!Copy !req
1107. I let you in,Copy !req
1108. I was a good guy,
I'm a good father!Copy !req
1109. And you just fucking fucked me!Copy !req
1110. What?
Now, you're gonna kill me!Copy !req
1111. You're gonna kill me? Why?Copy !req
1112. Why? 'Cause you fucked me?Copy !req
1113. What the fuck-fuck-fuck,
this is fucking insane!Copy !req
1114. You're to be executed at dawn.Copy !req
1115. If I were you,Copy !req
1116. I wouldn't waste my last
few hours crying about it.Copy !req
1117. I'm sorry, Daddy.Copy !req
1118. It is the only way.Copy !req
1119. Bel?Copy !req
1120. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1121. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1122. FaceTime. Karen!Copy !req
1123. FaceTime. Karen.Copy !req
1124. Digging a grave
is fucking tiring.Copy !req
1125. And filthy.Copy !req
1126. Your wife's clothes
are gonna need dry cleaning.Copy !req
1127. What's that?Copy !req
1128. You can't have access
to an iPad, Evan.Copy !req
1129. You could be trying
to reach a child.Copy !req
1130. Let's face it, Evan.
You're a monster.Copy !req
1131. Or should I say monster!Copy !req
1132. What?Copy !req
1133. Monster surprised?Copy !req
1134. How do you know about that?Copy !req
1135. Oh, monster confused!Copy !req
1136. How the fuck do you know that!Copy !req
1137. Monster will be quiet!Copy !req
1138. You spied on me?Copy !req
1139. On my kids?Copy !req
1140. Oh, my fucking God!Copy !req
1141. Oh, my fucking God! Jesus!Copy !req
1142. I'm so fucking stupid!Copy !req
1143. Yeah, you are.Copy !req
1144. Monster retarded.Copy !req
1145. Let's change, I feel gross.Copy !req
1146. Look at all this shit.Copy !req
1147. This is you, Evan.Copy !req
1148. This is gonna be your little fucking head,
you fucking cheater!Copy !req
1149. I love this color!
Red's my favorite!Copy !req
1150. No! No!
Gotta be pretty for your funeral.Copy !req
1151. He's so hairy.Copy !req
1152. No!Copy !req
1153. You don't wanna lose an ear.Copy !req
1154. Hold still.Copy !req
1155. There we go.
You look pretty.Copy !req
1156. There's Evan cutie!Copy !req
1157. There you have it.Copy !req
1158. Oh, now we see
your pretty face.Copy !req
1159. Fucking bitches!Copy !req
1160. "I love the sound
of vinyl. I'm Evan."Copy !req
1161. Watch this, Evan.Copy !req
1162. Jackpot!Copy !req
1163. Is that real?Copy !req
1164. What a clever way to hide
this from the kids, Evan!Copy !req
1165. You know, most firearm deaths are
a family member of the gun owner.Copy !req
1166. I don't own a gun.Copy !req
1167. It's dangerous.Copy !req
1168. Untie him.Copy !req
1169. - Are you sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1170. Genesis, please don't
point that at me.Copy !req
1171. I know,Copy !req
1172. it's cheating.
We still have 90 minutes.Copy !req
1173. But you were keeping secrets
from us, Evan.Copy !req
1174. Had you gotten to this before usCopy !req
1175. I don't think we'd be
having this conversation.Copy !req
1176. And you wouldn't do the same?Copy !req
1177. I'm not like you, Evan.Copy !req
1178. I don't own a gun,
I don't shoot people.Copy !req
1179. I sure as hell don't bend the rules
for my own convenience.Copy !req
1180. Untie him, Belly.Copy !req
1181. I don't want him to kick me.Copy !req
1182. He won't.Copy !req
1183. He kicks, I shoot.Copy !req
1184. He knows that.Copy !req
1185. Don't you, Evan?Copy !req
1186. What do you want?Copy !req
1187. I wanna play hide and seek.Copy !req
1188. What?Copy !req
1189. Thirty seconds.
Only inside the house.Copy !req
1190. You leave the house, I shoot.Copy !req
1191. What're you gonna do
when you find me?Copy !req
1192. Well, if we don't
find you by sunrise,Copy !req
1193. we'll leave.Copy !req
1194. - Bullshit.
- Thirty seconds. Go! Go!Copy !req
1195. - Go!
- Go!Copy !req
1196. 30, 29...Copy !req
1197. 28, 27...Copy !req
1198. 26, 25...Copy !req
1199. 24, 23, 22...Copy !req
1200. Go!Copy !req
1201. Ready or not? Here we come!Copy !req
1202. Evan!Copy !req
1203. You can't hide from us.Copy !req
1204. Here we come.Copy !req
1205. Evan?Copy !req
1206. We can smell you, Evan.Copy !req
1207. Daddy?Copy !req
1208. Psst! In here.Copy !req
1209. - Evan?
- Oh, Evan?Copy !req
1210. Are you here, monster?Copy !req
1211. Evan?Copy !req
1212. Evan?Copy !req
1213. Shit!Copy !req
1214. Evan!Copy !req
1215. Yeah, there he goes!
Stop!Copy !req
1216. Evan! Stop!Copy !req
1217. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1218. Don't fucking move!Copy !req
1219. Help me! Help me!Copy !req
1220. - Scream all you fucking want!
- Help me!Copy !req
1221. No one's fucking home!
We tried every house!Copy !req
1222. Are you ready!Copy !req
1223. Please don't do this!Copy !req
1224. - Time to say goodbye!
- Please! Please!Copy !req
1225. Help!Copy !req
1226. Help me!Copy !req
1227. Please, somebody help me!Copy !req
1228. Are you religious?Copy !req
1229. Help! Please somebody, help!Copy !req
1230. Please, let me go!Copy !req
1231. Help! Please help me!
Somebody help me!Copy !req
1232. No! Help me!Copy !req
1233. No! No! No! No! No!Copy !req
1234. No, help! Help!Copy !req
1235. One, two, three!Copy !req
1236. Whoopsie-daisy!Copy !req
1237. So Evan, did we
hurt your shoulder?Copy !req
1238. We want you
to be comfy, Evan.Copy !req
1239. Help! Help!Copy !req
1240. Help! Help!Copy !req
1241. Don't move, Evan. You might
get dirt in your eyes.Copy !req
1242. Yeah, close your eyes, baby.Copy !req
1243. Help! Help!Copy !req
1244. Help!Copy !req
1245. Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
1246. Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
1247. Please. Please.Copy !req
1248. Please. Please, don't do this.Copy !req
1249. Please! Bel. Please.Copy !req
1250. It looks like he's trying
to communicate.Copy !req
1251. Please.Copy !req
1252. If you promise to behave,
I'll take out the gag.Copy !req
1253. Okay.Copy !req
1254. Don't do this. Please?Copy !req
1255. I'll do whatever you want.
I'll do whatever you want.Copy !req
1256. Whatever!Copy !req
1257. Even calling your family
and telling them everything you did to us?Copy !req
1258. Yes.Copy !req
1259. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll tell them.Copy !req
1260. I'll tell them.Copy !req
1261. Okay, let's give him a lifeline.Copy !req
1262. I love the lifeline part.
Let's see.Copy !req
1263. But the lifeline
is a phone call.Copy !req
1264. Not FaceTime.Copy !req
1265. Your wife's not gonna
see you like this.Copy !req
1266. Hi, this is Karen Alvarado,Copy !req
1267. please leave a message
or send a text. Ciao.Copy !req
1268. Go ahead, talk.Copy !req
1269. Honey. I'm sorry for
what I'm gonna tell you.Copy !req
1270. They made me.Copy !req
1271. Fuck!Copy !req
1272. Call 911!Copy !req
1273. - Call 911! I've been kidnapped...
- Evan, Evan...Copy !req
1274. - ... by two girls!
- Evan!Copy !req
1275. Call 911!Copy !req
1276. - Call 911!
- No, no, no, Evan!Copy !req
1277. - You broke the rule.
- Evan, why did you do that?Copy !req
1278. Well, now she'll
fucking find you!Copy !req
1279. Not really.Copy !req
1280. I hung up as soon as it hit voice mail.
I knew you'd pussy out.Copy !req
1281. You fucking whores!Copy !req
1282. You fucking whores!Copy !req
1283. I'll fucking kill you,
you fucking-fuck bitch cunt!Copy !req
1284. I'll fucking kill you!
You fucking bitches!Copy !req
1285. Oh, there's Evan. There he is!Copy !req
1286. We missed you.Copy !req
1287. Fucking whores!Copy !req
1288. Knock-knock!Copy !req
1289. I said knock-knock.Copy !req
1290. No!Copy !req
1291. I don't think he can talk.Copy !req
1292. Okay. Knock-knock.Copy !req
1293. Who's there?Copy !req
1294. - Cheating Evan.
- Cheating Evan who?Copy !req
1295. Cheating "Evan-tually"
gets you killed.Copy !req
1296. No! No!Copy !req
1297. - Ready, Evan?
- No!Copy !req
1298. No!Copy !req
1299. - One!
- No!Copy !req
1300. - Two.
- Do it!Copy !req
1301. - No! No!
- Three!Copy !req
1302. Look at his face.Copy !req
1303. We got you good.Copy !req
1304. You didn't really think we
were gonna kill you, did you?Copy !req
1305. We're not animals.Copy !req
1306. It was just a game, Evan.Copy !req
1307. A game? A game?Copy !req
1308. You know what?Copy !req
1309. For a moment, I thought
you were the one who'd say no.Copy !req
1310. And now we have to play
a game with someone else.Copy !req
1311. You know what's funny?
They never say no.Copy !req
1312. No matter who they are.Copy !req
1313. No matter how much
they love their families.Copy !req
1314. You're all the same.Copy !req
1315. Bye, Evan.Copy !req
1316. You were my favorite.Copy !req
1317. Oh!Copy !req
1318. Wish me happy birthday.
I turn 22 next week.Copy !req
1319. Yeah.Copy !req
1320. I freaked out
when I turned 18.Copy !req
1321. But you made me feel 15 again.
Thanks, Evan.Copy !req
1322. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1323. Oh, I almost forgot.
Yes, your phone.Copy !req
1324. You know you really should be
more careful with Facebook.Copy !req
1325. If you don't log out someone could do
terrible things with it.Copy !req
1326. Post something really personal
for all your friends to see.Copy !req
1327. Look closely.
So you'll remember us.Copy !req
1328. Yes, Evan, fuck her!Copy !req
1329. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
1330. Okay.Copy !req
1331. Attaboy, Evan. Fuck her!Copy !req
1332. Fuck me! Fuck me!Copy !req
1333. I'm sure you'll get a
lot of likes though.Copy !req
1334. Doggy style, Belly!Copy !req
1335. Enjoy!Copy !req
1336. Oh!Copy !req
1337. Bye, Evan! Muah!
We'll miss you!Copy !req
1338. Oh!Copy !req
1339. No!Copy !req
1340. Oh, no!Copy !req
1341. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
1342. God, God!Copy !req
1343. Take your bags to your rooms.
Then go use the bathroom.Copy !req
1344. And then we're gonna
go see Monkey, okay?Copy !req
1345. - Are you guys tired?
- Yeah!Copy !req
1346. Monkey?Copy !req
1347. Monkey?Copy !req
1348. Daddy had a party.Copy !req