1. I'm sorry.Copy !req
2. - Oh, it's okay.
- I'm sorry, baby.Copy !req
3. - I'm sorry.
- Fucking shoulder.Copy !req
4. Keep going.Copy !req
5. That's helping.Copy !req
6. Never.Copy !req
7. Just a little bit. Just to clean it up.Copy !req
8. I'm not cutting it.Copy !req
9. But you'd look so hot with short hair.Copy !req
10. - Oh, would I?
- Yeah.Copy !req
11. - Thank you.
- No, no, no...Copy !req
12. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
You are hot.Copy !req
13. You are the hottest.Copy !req
14. - Keep going.
- You and your gorgeous,Copy !req
15. thick, long hair.Copy !req
16. - Continue...
- I just fucking love the way it's long.Copy !req
17. Yeah?Copy !req
18. Happy Father's Day, Daddy!Copy !req
19. Kids, we said after breakfast.Copy !req
20. I want cake for breakfast.Copy !req
21. Wow! Chocolate with sprinkles!Copy !req
22. My favorite.Copy !req
23. Happy Father's Day!Copy !req
24. - Open it! Open it! Open it!
- Open it! Open it! Open it!Copy !req
25. I am, I am.Copy !req
26. I like building up the anticipation.Copy !req
27. Oh, you guys...Copy !req
28. - You like it?
- I love it.Copy !req
29. Muah! I love it.Copy !req
30. - Thank you.
- Mom helped us.Copy !req
31. No, I didn't. It was all their idea.Copy !req
32. - Right, kids?
- Right.Copy !req
33. - Cake! Cake! Cake!
- Cake! Cake! Cake!Copy !req
34. - Okay, okay.
- Cake! Cake! Cake!Copy !req
35. Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!Copy !req
36. Oh, look at that beautiful looking cake!Copy !req
37. Who did this to monster!Copy !req
38. Oh, you can't hide from monster!Copy !req
39. Monster can smell you!Copy !req
40. Run! Run! Monster's coming!Copy !req
41. Argh!Copy !req
42. Monster made kids disappear.Copy !req
43. And...Copy !req
44. Monster wanna finish what we started.Copy !req
45. Too late, the kids are awake.Copy !req
46. Monster sad.Copy !req
47. I'm sure monster can wait till Monday.Copy !req
48. Monster been waiting three weeks.Copy !req
49. Yeah, but with the kids
and my exhibitionCopy !req
50. I cannot keep everybody
happy all the time.Copy !req
51. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
52. Monster doesn't want to start a fight.Copy !req
53. Okay. Sorry, me neither.Copy !req
54. I promise we'll finish this
as soon as I get back.Copy !req
55. Oh, monster happy.Copy !req
56. Monster happy.Copy !req
57. Monster very happy.Copy !req
58. Yeah, Mommy.Copy !req
59. - Gracias.
- De nada.Copy !req
60. - Everybody packed?
- Yeah.Copy !req
61. Monkey, good boy.Copy !req
62. Dad, why can't we take
Monkey to the beach with us?Copy !req
63. Yeah, you know he loves the beach.Copy !req
64. Monkey needs to stay here
and keep your dad companyCopy !req
65. so he doesn't stay
all alone during the weekend.Copy !req
66. - That's unfair.
- Knock-knock.Copy !req
67. Hey, Louis!Copy !req
68. Hey, guys, hot off the presses.Copy !req
69. - What's going on, Louis?
- What's shakin'?Copy !req
70. What's going on, little guys?Copy !req
71. Mr. Webber, how are you, sir?Copy !req
72. Morning, Louis.Copy !req
73. I'd offer you a hand, but all
I can lift is this coffee.Copy !req
74. Oh, that's what happens when you try
to impress girls in the bat cage.Copy !req
75. I wasn't flirting,
I was being a gentleman.Copy !req
76. Yeah, I'm sure she was
a poor helpless 25-year-old.Copy !req
77. Yeah, helpless.Copy !req
78. Do you know what this is?Copy !req
79. Is it a Father's Day present for Daddy?Copy !req
80. No. No, this is Mommy's catalog.Copy !req
81. Assuming they got the color
right this time.Copy !req
82. Oh, let's hope.Copy !req
83. I think they did.Copy !req
84. It's a little bit magenta,
but it's almost perfect.Copy !req
85. - What's magenta?
- This color.Copy !req
86. Honey, it's perfect.Copy !req
87. Mom, can Louis come
to the beach with us?Copy !req
88. Yeah.Copy !req
89. No, Louis needs to stay here
and do some work.Copy !req
90. Just like your daddy.Copy !req
91. That's correct.Copy !req
92. I have to come back with all
the alcohol for the super-secretCopy !req
93. Father's Day party that me
and your dad are gonna have tonight.Copy !req
94. Louis! Shh!Copy !req
95. - Oh, come on.
- You're not having a party.Copy !req
96. I'm not having a party,
I'm working very hard.Copy !req
97. Did you pack your gun?Copy !req
98. - Yes.
- Did you pack the bomb?Copy !req
99. - Yes.
- Have you packed the cannon?Copy !req
100. - Yes.
- Have you packed the chainsaw?Copy !req
101. You didn't pack the chainsaw?Copy !req
102. Go get the chainsaw, man!Copy !req
103. The cement still hasn't dried, but it
should be fine by tomorrow night.Copy !req
104. Okay.Copy !req
105. Still, it's extremely fragile
and I don't trust those moversCopy !req
106. after the mess they made at the gallery.Copy !req
107. Mmm-mmm. No, I'll take care of it.
Don't worry.Copy !req
108. Okay, gracias, I'll have it
all packed up for you.Copy !req
109. Okay.Copy !req
110. It's almost dry though.Copy !req
111. Yeah, so I'll just text you
when it's at the gallery.Copy !req
112. Don't worry about anything,Copy !req
113. I got it all under control.
You have a good weekend at the beach.Copy !req
114. Enjoy yourself. I'm out.Copy !req
115. Gracias, Louis.Copy !req
116. - Mr. Webber, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Thank you.Copy !req
117. I mean, "tonight"
for the super-secret party.Copy !req
118. - Louis...
- See you, kids.Copy !req
119. - Bye, Louis.
- Super-secret party?Copy !req
120. - Super-secret party.
- Okay.Copy !req
121. Is this the last one?Copy !req
122. - You like it?
- I love it.Copy !req
123. - Good.
- I think it should be bigger.Copy !req
124. - You think so?
- Yeah, then we can get the pool.Copy !req
125. Okay, I'll do it bigger next time.Copy !req
126. I told Vivian tomorrow at 2:00.Copy !req
127. I don't need her therapy
anymore, it's healing.Copy !req
128. Tell that to your shoulder.Copy !req
129. Dad, are you sure
you can't come to the beach with us?Copy !req
130. I would love nothing more, sport.Copy !req
131. But if Daddy doesn't work this weekend,
we'll have to live in a box.Copy !req
132. Do you guys want to live in a box?Copy !req
133. - No.
- No. Not really.Copy !req
134. Me neither. Unless I designed it.Copy !req
135. Okay, say goodbye to Daddy.Copy !req
136. Bye, Daddy.Copy !req
137. Say goodbye to Monkey.Copy !req
138. Bye, Monkey.Copy !req
139. Daddy, don't forget to send all
your party pix on Instagram.Copy !req
140. Okay.Copy !req
141. Call me when you get there.Copy !req
142. I will. I love you.Copy !req
143. - I love you.
- I love you.Copy !req
144. Bye, guys.Copy !req
145. - Bye.
- Bye, Daddy.Copy !req
146. Get a haircut, Dad!Copy !req
147. Well, Monkey...Copy !req
148. Looks like it's just me and you, kid.Copy !req
149. Hey, baby.Copy !req
150. How's the house?Copy !req
151. Hi! It's perfect.Copy !req
152. Look. Kids, say hello to your dad.Copy !req
153. - Hi!
- Hello.Copy !req
154. All it needs is you.Copy !req
155. - I love you.
- I love you, too.Copy !req
156. Miss you.Copy !req
157. Good night.Copy !req
158. Who's there?Copy !req
159. Just one second, sir, please.Copy !req
160. - Hello?
- Could I use your phone, please?Copy !req
161. Yes?Copy !req
162. We're so sorry to bother you, sir,Copy !req
163. but could you please tell us
where the Gregorys live?Copy !req
164. This is the third house we've tried.Copy !req
165. Looks like everyone's gone
for the long weekend.Copy !req
166. The Gregorys?Copy !req
167. No, I don't know anyone
around here by that name.Copy !req
168. What's the address?Copy !req
169. Um,Copy !req
170. I honestly don't know.Copy !req
171. My phone got wet
and she left hers at her house.Copy !req
172. The taxi just dropped us here. We've been
walking around for, like, 20 minutes.Copy !req
173. Yeah, my feet are, like, dying.Copy !req
174. Well, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I can't help you.Copy !req
175. Bless you.Copy !req
176. Here.Copy !req
177. Thank you.Copy !req
178. Well, if you guys want
you can come in and use my phone.Copy !req
179. Oh, thanks, but...Copy !req
180. All our contacts are on our phones.Copy !req
181. I... I don't even know my own number,
can you believe it?Copy !req
182. Maybe Ashley's on Facebook chat?Copy !req
183. Ah, genius.Copy !req
184. Actually, would you mind
if we just used your computer for a sec?Copy !req
185. We don't want to impose.Copy !req
186. We'll just get the address
and be out of your hair.Copy !req
187. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
188. Come in.Copy !req
189. Thank you.Copy !req
190. No, it's fine. Don't worry.Copy !req
191. Oh, I don't mind.Copy !req
192. We don't want to mess up your house.Copy !req
193. Yeah. Excuse me.Copy !req
194. Um, thank you so, so much.Copy !req
195. - I know this is so random.
- It's fine.Copy !req
196. Hang on, I'll get you
an iPad and some towels.Copy !req
197. Thanks.Copy !req
198. Nice house.Copy !req
199. Thanks.Copy !req
200. Girls?Copy !req
201. We're in here.Copy !req
202. I'm so sorry, it was warmer here.Copy !req
203. Hope you don't mind.Copy !req
204. We were freezing.Copy !req
205. Here.Copy !req
206. Oh, my God. Thank you.Copy !req
207. This is beyond embarrassing.Copy !req
208. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
209. Make yourselves at home.Copy !req
210. I'm Bel, by the way.Copy !req
211. Evan.Copy !req
212. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
213. Ashley's online.Copy !req
214. Cool.Copy !req
215. You're a life saver, Evan.Copy !req
216. Not everyone would just let two total
strangers into their house these days.Copy !req
217. Well, you don't look that dangerous.Copy !req
218. Worst case scenario,Copy !req
219. I know I can take the both of you.Copy !req
220. I'm not so sure.Copy !req
221. I do air boxing.Copy !req
222. - Air boxing?
- Yeah, like, you know?Copy !req
223. - Oh, okay.
- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.Copy !req
224. - Excuse me, sir.
- Yes.Copy !req
225. - What's the address?
- His name's Evan.Copy !req
226. Evan?Copy !req
227. 458 Canter.Copy !req
228. Wow. We're like, far.Copy !req
229. It was Kantner, not Canter.Copy !req
230. The cab must've misunderstood us.Copy !req
231. I told you that he was
going the wrong way.Copy !req
232. That guy barely spoke English.Copy !req
233. I mean, his English was worse than mine.Copy !req
234. This is so retarded.Copy !req
235. Don't worry about it. I'll call an Uber.Copy !req
236. No. No, no, no.Copy !req
237. We can find a cab outside.
It's no problem.Copy !req
238. Not around here, you won't.Copy !req
239. Trust me, it's the only reliable way.Copy !req
240. You sure? I feel like such an idiot.Copy !req
241. We don't want to ruin your night.Copy !req
242. No really. It's fine.Copy !req
243. It's looking for a driver.Copy !req
244. And it'll be here in...Copy !req
245. 45 minutes.Copy !req
246. That long?Copy !req
247. The rain.Copy !req
248. We're lucky we even got one.Copy !req
249. What?Copy !req
250. Um, I know this is gonna sound weird,Copy !req
251. but could we maybe throw our clothes
in your dryer just for, like, 10 minutes?Copy !req
252. We really don't want to go
to a party soaking wet.Copy !req
253. No.Copy !req
254. Please?Copy !req
255. Sure, sure. Um...Copy !req
256. We have some extra robes.
I'll, uh, go get them.Copy !req
257. - Thank you.
- Yay.Copy !req
258. This is literally saving our lives.Copy !req
259. Yeah, we could get sick and die.Copy !req
260. You have your phone?Copy !req
261. Uh yeah, why?Copy !req
262. I can try and fix it.Copy !req
263. Really? Oh.Copy !req
264. My kid dropped mine in the tub,Copy !req
265. and you won't believe this, but if you
put it in rice it kinda dries it out.Copy !req
266. - That would be awesome.
- Rice?Copy !req
267. Oh, my God, you're like a MythBuster.Copy !req
268. Thank you so much, Evan.Copy !req
269. You're welcome...Copy !req
270. - Genesis.
- Genesis.Copy !req
271. Yeah, like the beginning of time.Copy !req
272. In the beginning.Copy !req
273. Sorry. Yup, that was...
You're sick of that.Copy !req
274. Thanks.Copy !req
275. I'll, uh...Copy !req
276. I'll go get you some.Copy !req
277. Hey, Evan?Copy !req
278. Where should we put these?Copy !req
279. Oh, I'll take them.Copy !req
280. No, we can do it. We don't mind.Copy !req
281. I got it.Copy !req
282. I made you some tea.Copy !req
283. - Thank you.
- Thank you, that's nice.Copy !req
284. - So sweet.
- I'll trade you.Copy !req
285. Uh, okay.Copy !req
286. Gracias.Copy !req
287. Excuse me.Copy !req
288. Oh, my God.Copy !req
289. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
290. We were trying to warm up.Copy !req
291. Yeah, I mean, we've never seen
one of these before.Copy !req
292. - A real one.
- It's okay.Copy !req
293. Just be careful. It's old.Copy !req
294. I see you've met Monkey.Copy !req
295. Yeah, this is Monkey.Copy !req
296. It's time for Monkey to go to bed.Copy !req
297. - Bye, Monkey.
- Night-night, Monkey.Copy !req
298. - Night-night.
- Sweet dreams.Copy !req
299. Bye, Monkey.Copy !req
300. All right, Monkey.Copy !req
301. Go home, Monkey.Copy !req
302. You have so many records.Copy !req
303. Sorry. We had to try one.Copy !req
304. Stop apologizing, it's okay.Copy !req
305. I love this album. You have good taste.Copy !req
306. This is like...Copy !req
307. An insane collection.Copy !req
308. - Yeah.
- It must be worth a fortune.Copy !req
309. Well, everything's online now, so...Copy !req
310. But, uh, I love the sound of vinyl.Copy !req
311. You're really into music.Copy !req
312. Well, it used to be my job.Copy !req
313. What? Like a record salesman?Copy !req
314. - I was a DJ.
- Oh, my God. That's so cool!Copy !req
315. You're like Major Lazer!Copy !req
316. It was in my 20s.Copy !req
317. It's really a hobby now,
I haven't had a real gig in years.Copy !req
318. Wait, how old are you?Copy !req
319. I'm 43.Copy !req
320. - No fucking way.
- I can't believe you're 43.Copy !req
321. I thought you were, like,
28 or 30 at the most.Copy !req
322. Well, I got married when I was 30.Copy !req
323. Where's your wife?Copy !req
324. She's at the beach with my kids.Copy !req
325. We were gonna spend Father's Day there,
but, uh, work happened.Copy !req
326. Oh, my God, you are all
alone on Father's Day.Copy !req
327. Poor Evan, we'll keep you company!Copy !req
328. Hugs!Copy !req
329. No, it's fine.
We celebrated this morning.Copy !req
330. Whoa, you're not 43.Copy !req
331. You must work out, like, every day.Copy !req
332. Yeah, I keep in shape.Copy !req
333. Not like when I was
in my 20s, but, uh...Copy !req
334. Come on, any guy that ripped
is more into his own ass than yours.Copy !req
335. Yeah, I mean, like, seriously,
is that all you do?Copy !req
336. Oh, my God, I remember
I fucked this model once,Copy !req
337. and while we were having sex
I caught him doing crunches in the mirror.Copy !req
338. It was the gayest thing ever.Copy !req
339. I'd take somebody that's older
and more experiencedCopy !req
340. over an Abercrombie model any day.Copy !req
341. Yeah.Copy !req
342. Well, hopefully one day
you'll find both.Copy !req
343. I don't know.Copy !req
344. Underwear models are the kind of guys
you fuck when you're 14.Copy !req
345. That's a statement.Copy !req
346. - This is your wife?
- Yup.Copy !req
347. I want to see it.Copy !req
348. Wow! She's so pretty.Copy !req
349. She's beautiful. You're a lucky guy.Copy !req
350. Yeah, I certainly am.Copy !req
351. I'm just an architect, but, uh,
she's the real deal.Copy !req
352. Most of what you see is hers.Copy !req
353. - She made all these?
- Yeah.Copy !req
354. Wow.Copy !req
355. They're so pretty.Copy !req
356. I love these colors.Copy !req
357. Red's my favorite.Copy !req
358. This is amazing.Copy !req
359. I actually studied art history.Copy !req
360. I'm no expert, I was only
there for a semester, but,Copy !req
361. this...Copy !req
362. This is like a Gaudi building, but small.Copy !req
363. Yeah, my wife loves Gaudi.Copy !req
364. She was, uh, she was born in Barcelona.Copy !req
365. Like me?Copy !req
366. English, English.
You guys sound too sexy.Copy !req
367. That's about the extent
of my Spanish anyway.Copy !req
368. My kids speak it perfectly.Copy !req
369. Your wife's an amazing artist.Copy !req
370. Why are these sculptures here?Copy !req
371. They should be in like, MOMA.Copy !req
372. Actually, um...Copy !req
373. It's not exactly MOMA...Copy !req
374. But she's having a
big gallery show in LA.Copy !req
375. Karen Alvarado.
That's such a pretty name.Copy !req
376. An architect and an artist.Copy !req
377. You guys are like the perfect couple.Copy !req
378. And she's so hot.Copy !req
379. You must have sex, like, all day.Copy !req
380. - Bel!
- What?Copy !req
381. I would.Copy !req
382. That's Belly for you.Copy !req
383. She sees a hot girl
and chases after her.Copy !req
384. Well, it's okay. I have no complaints.Copy !req
385. Sorry, I was just being honest.Copy !req
386. No, no. It's fine.Copy !req
387. Um, but, uh...Copy !req
388. I must sayCopy !req
389. I'm not used to girls just
being so open about that.Copy !req
390. About what?Copy !req
391. Sex?Copy !req
392. No, I mean... Yes.Copy !req
393. - Yeah.
- Yes.Copy !req
394. It's just sex.Copy !req
395. Right.Copy !req
396. Now you seem old.Copy !req
397. Sorry. So sorry.Copy !req
398. Twenty minutes away.Copy !req
399. How long have you
and your wife been together?Copy !req
400. I was 29 and she was 20.Copy !req
401. It's been awhile.Copy !req
402. So you haven't been with anyone else
in all those years?Copy !req
403. Fourteen years, nope.Copy !req
404. Wow.Copy !req
405. How is that even possible?Copy !req
406. Well, when you love someone...Copy !req
407. Come on, Evan.Copy !req
408. Humans are the only species
that practice monogamy.Copy !req
409. I mean, we're animals.
We're more animals than animals.Copy !req
410. It's in our DNA.Copy !req
411. Like, being with one person
your whole life,Copy !req
412. is going against your own nature.Copy !req
413. Look.Copy !req
414. It's like this.Copy !req
415. I understand men.Copy !req
416. I know whenever I get married,Copy !req
417. my husband is gonna want to be
with other girls.Copy !req
418. So, I want to get comfortable
with having threesomes now,Copy !req
419. because I know that's the only way
he'll never cheat on me.Copy !req
420. Wow.Copy !req
421. So, are you guys... What do you guys do?Copy !req
422. I mean, are you...
Are you in school or something?Copy !req
423. I mean...Copy !req
424. Actually, we're flight attendants.Copy !req
425. Really?Copy !req
426. What would you like
for your entree, sir?Copy !req
427. We have chicken...Copy !req
428. And pasta.Copy !req
429. Please buckle your seatbelt, sir.Copy !req
430. We may be encountering some turbulence.Copy !req
431. So...Copy !req
432. Where you guys based out of?Copy !req
433. Everywhere.Copy !req
434. Last weekend we were in
New Zealand for 24 hours.Copy !req
435. It was awesome.Copy !req
436. Wow, how was that jet lag?Copy !req
437. We don't sleep.Copy !req
438. It's like being a fake rock star.Copy !req
439. You know, you fly
around the world first class,Copy !req
440. drinks are on the house
and they pay you for it.Copy !req
441. I'm jealous.Copy !req
442. I once got offered a tour
when I was a DJ.Copy !req
443. Not like you guys, but, uh,
Tri-State area.Copy !req
444. Yeah, well, I think traveling is
the best way to get life experience.Copy !req
445. Especially when you're
only there for 24 hours.Copy !req
446. You really make the most of it.Copy !req
447. Yeah, we make the most of it.Copy !req
448. Unlike that fucking
starfish we work with. Ugh.Copy !req
449. Ugh, starfish.Copy !req
450. - Starfish?
- This girl we work with...Copy !req
451. She doesn't have to do anything in bed,Copy !req
452. she just lies there
like a fucking starfish.Copy !req
453. Hence, starfish.Copy !req
454. I mean, who'd want to fuck that?Copy !req
455. I don't understand girls like that.Copy !req
456. When I'm with a guy,
I want him to have the time of his life.Copy !req
457. - No rules.
- None.Copy !req
458. Nothing's off limit, sexually.Copy !req
459. Sex with boundaries isn't really sex.Copy !req
460. If our bodies are capable of doing it,Copy !req
461. then we were meant to. Right?Copy !req
462. Oh, Evan? Can I use your bathroom?Copy !req
463. Of course. It's, uh, down
the hall on the right.Copy !req
464. Thanks.Copy !req
465. I don't know any of these.Copy !req
466. Well, I have pretty eclectic taste.Copy !req
467. You have Spanish music.Copy !req
468. Chilean, actually.Copy !req
469. My wife loves her, Fran Valenzuela.Copy !req
470. Can you put it on?Copy !req
471. Sure.Copy !req
472. She's really talented.Copy !req
473. She started composing when she was 13.Copy !req
474. This is her third album.Copy !req
475. Wow!Copy !req
476. How did you know that would mix?Copy !req
477. DJ'ing is like mixing a drink.Copy !req
478. First you find the right ingredients,Copy !req
479. then you find the blend.Copy !req
480. Evan, I have something to confess.Copy !req
481. Yes?Copy !req
482. I'm glad we knocked on your door.Copy !req
483. I'm having a way better time hereCopy !req
484. then at that stupid party
we were supposed to go to.Copy !req
485. Well, I have to confess,
it's not usually this exciting around hereCopy !req
486. at 1:30 in the morning.Copy !req
487. It's like destiny
that we were meant to meet.Copy !req
488. Do you believe in destiny, Evan?Copy !req
489. I'm an architect.Copy !req
490. So obviously I believe
that things happen by your own design.Copy !req
491. Well, I do.Copy !req
492. I don't think people just meet randomly.Copy !req
493. I think that if we are here, together,Copy !req
494. it's becauseCopy !req
495. there's something we have to
learn from each other.Copy !req
496. Discover.Copy !req
497. It's here.Copy !req
498. I'll go get Genesis.Copy !req
499. I'll get your clothes.Copy !req
500. What the fuck!Copy !req
501. Guys!Copy !req
502. Guys, the car's outside.Copy !req
503. Guys, I have your clothes,
they're pretty much dry.Copy !req
504. Guys!Copy !req
505. All right, I'm coming in,Copy !req
506. I'm not looking, so excuse me.Copy !req
507. - Surprise!
- Surprise!Copy !req
508. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
509. - Come on, Evan. Join us.
- Yeah, join the party.Copy !req
510. - Come here.
- The car's outside.Copy !req
511. The car can wait. Come on.Copy !req
512. I'm gonna tell the driver
that you're coming out.Copy !req
513. Get dressed. Now.Copy !req
514. Please. Here's your clothes.Copy !req
515. Evan. Look at us.Copy !req
516. Come on...Copy !req
517. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Stop. Stop.Copy !req
518. I can't do this. I'm married.Copy !req
519. Happily. Okay?Copy !req
520. Yes. You can.Copy !req
521. Hey, it's our little secret.Copy !req
522. Whoa, stop. Stop.Copy !req
523. It's just sex. We're all adults here.Copy !req
524. I'm flattered.Copy !req
525. But really, I can't.
Please, get dressed.Copy !req
526. - Yeah, you can.
- Come on, just one day.Copy !req
527. Just relax and enjoy it.Copy !req
528. You like this?Copy !req
529. Have you ever had two girls
do this to you before?Copy !req
530. - Happy Father's Day!
- Happy Father's Day!Copy !req
531. It's time for the Family Feud!Copy !req
532. Introducing the Levy family!Copy !req
533. - Morning, Daddy.
- Evan! Evan! Watch this!Copy !req
534. Belly! Belly! Catch! Catch!Copy !req
535. Sorry, Belly.Copy !req
536. I thought you guys left.Copy !req
537. - We made you breakky.
- I'm not hungry.Copy !req
538. Monkey, that's mine.Copy !req
539. And the star of Family Feud,
Richard Dawson!Copy !req
540. You two live together?Copy !req
541. Yeah.Copy !req
542. Where?Copy !req
543. Why, Evan?Copy !req
544. So I can drive you there.Copy !req
545. I haven't been home in like four years.Copy !req
546. This could be our home.Copy !req
547. I'll drive you wherever you want.Copy !req
548. Did I say something funny?Copy !req
549. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
550. I want to go to Paris, Evan.Copy !req
551. No, let's go to Tokyo.Copy !req
552. London.Copy !req
553. Rome.Copy !req
554. Don't let your breakky get cold.Copy !req
555. Hey, baby.Copy !req
556. Hey, you're alive.Copy !req
557. Yeah, ah, barely.Copy !req
558. I forgot how strong Vanessa's weed was.Copy !req
559. I just woke up.Copy !req
560. You are such a lightweight.Copy !req
561. - How are the kids?
- Not so good.Copy !req
562. - What happened?
- Evan!Copy !req
563. Jake got stung by a jellyfish.
He was crying.Copy !req
564. - Oh, no!
- Yeah.Copy !req
565. Poor little guy.Copy !req
566. - He's okay now.
- Where is he?Copy !req
567. He's back at the beach.Copy !req
568. It was a little bit hairy for a while,
but now he's okay.Copy !req
569. What about you? How's your project?Copy !req
570. Great. Great. Great.Copy !req
571. Uh, I'm in a really good groove now,
so, home stretch.Copy !req
572. Okay, then don't let me interrupt you.Copy !req
573. Let's talk later.
You seem a little distracted.Copy !req
574. No. That's not what I meant.Copy !req
575. It's just...Copy !req
576. I just want to finish so I don't have
to think about it, you know?Copy !req
577. Maybe if I get done early,
I can, I can drive out there.Copy !req
578. Baby, I get it. Don't stress.Copy !req
579. Do what you have to do.Copy !req
580. - I love you.
- Love you, too.Copy !req
581. Don't smoke all our weed.Copy !req
582. I won't. I promise.Copy !req
583. - Bye.
- Ciao.Copy !req
584. Shit! Shit! Shit!Copy !req
585. Are you hungry now?Copy !req
586. Get up! And get dressed!Copy !req
587. Right now!Copy !req
588. Excuse me, sir.
Can you tell me where Evan is?Copy !req
589. You know, that sweet guy that
saved two girls from the rain?Copy !req
590. He's gone. Get the fuck up.Copy !req
591. Let's go.Copy !req
592. I don't appreciate your tone of voice.Copy !req
593. Go!Copy !req
594. Come on, Belly. Looks like
Evan lost his sense of humor.Copy !req
595. Go!Copy !req
596. Hello!Copy !req
597. Let's go!Copy !req
598. Where's Bel?Copy !req
599. I don't know, she's not my friend.Copy !req
600. Bel!Copy !req
601. Bel!Copy !req
602. Bel?Copy !req
603. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
604. You tell us to get dressed.Copy !req
605. Come on. Playtime's over.Copy !req
606. Evan, can you hold me?Copy !req
607. Please, just once more.Copy !req
608. - Please, I miss your hugs.
- Bel. Listen to me.Copy !req
609. You're leaving. Now.Copy !req
610. Get dressed.Copy !req
611. - I love you.
- Bel...Copy !req
612. - I love you.
- No!Copy !req
613. I love you so much.Copy !req
614. God damn it! Fuck!Copy !req
615. I love you. I can't help it.Copy !req
616. I'm crazy about you.Copy !req
617. You have three minutes!Copy !req
618. I'll be outside!Copy !req
619. Get dressed!Copy !req
620. Let's go!Copy !req
621. What in the fuck are you doing!Copy !req
622. You have any idea what you've done?Copy !req
623. Yeah. It's called art.Copy !req
624. We were inspired
from last night. Remember?Copy !req
625. I'm calling the fucking police.Copy !req
626. Go ahead.Copy !req
627. What the fuck is so funny!Copy !req
628. I just have a funny story for them.Copy !req
629. It's called "To Catch a Predator."Copy !req
630. What the fuck are you talking about?Copy !req
631. Fifteen to 20 years?Copy !req
632. I think it is 20.Copy !req
633. Fifteen gets you 20, right?Copy !req
634. - I don't believe it.
- You don't have to.Copy !req
635. The jury will.Copy !req
636. Statutory rape, Evan.Copy !req
637. Twenty years behind bars.Copy !req
638. And that's just for one of us.Copy !req
639. And I'm not planning on taking a shower.Copy !req
640. I have evidence.Copy !req
641. Really?Copy !req
642. So how could you be a flight
attendant if you're only 15?Copy !req
643. What the fuck! What?Copy !req
644. We saw that in a movie, Evan.Copy !req
645. I told you he'd believe it.Copy !req
646. Do you want to check my ID?Copy !req
647. She doesn't have one, she's too young.Copy !req
648. Okay.Copy !req
649. What do you want?Copy !req
650. We want to make breakky
for you every morning.Copy !req
651. Come on.Copy !req
652. Just tell me. How much do you want?Copy !req
653. Don't be mad, Evan.Copy !req
654. That's not you.Copy !req
655. - You're different from the others.
- Yeah.Copy !req
656. How much!Copy !req
657. What do you think we are, hookers?Copy !req
658. Jesus, Evan, we're not fucking whores!Copy !req
659. Yeah.Copy !req
660. You're the fucking whore!Copy !req
661. Whore!Copy !req
662. Evan? It's Vivian!Copy !req
663. Do not move!Copy !req
664. Evan!Copy !req
665. Evan, I'm so sorry I'm late,Copy !req
666. but that storm blew
branches out all over town.Copy !req
667. It even knocked two traffic lights out.Copy !req
668. I swear, I swear I was sitting
there for 15 minutesCopy !req
669. and I was trying to navigate,
but there was repair trucks.Copy !req
670. It's fine. It's fine.Copy !req
671. Actually, I'm feeling much better.Copy !req
672. Oh, then that's really good
because then this'll help.Copy !req
673. I'll give you a relaxation massage,
it'll help circulate.Copy !req
674. Actually... Karen should have told you,
I have a lot of work to do this weekend.Copy !req
675. I love Karen. I love her
so much, how is she?Copy !req
676. She is so talented.Copy !req
677. I cannot wait to see her exhibition.Copy !req
678. In fact, you know what?Copy !req
679. Jim and I are going
to drive up for the openingCopy !req
680. if I can get out of that conference I have
in Sonoma with those massage therapists.Copy !req
681. You know how that can be.Copy !req
682. He doesn't want your massage.Copy !req
683. Do you, baby?Copy !req
684. Get back inside.Copy !req
685. Don't let me get cold.Copy !req
686. This is really upsetting, okay?Copy !req
687. I'm here to heal,Copy !req
688. but this is really... This is upsetting!Copy !req
689. - It's upsetting!
- It's not what you think.Copy !req
690. No, no. It's exactly what I think!Copy !req
691. But you know what? It's your life.Copy !req
692. - Vivian, please.
- I... Don't. It's your relationship, Evan.Copy !req
693. Look, I'm a DJ like Evan!Copy !req
694. Why didn't you let your girlfriend in?Copy !req
695. Are you ashamed of us?
Or are you fucking her, too?Copy !req
696. - Get out of my house!
- Be careful,Copy !req
697. these two cute little girls
can put you behind barsCopy !req
698. - for the rest of your life!
- Get out of my house!Copy !req
699. What would your client say?
Your neighbors?Copy !req
700. What would your wife say if we told her
everything we did last night?Copy !req
701. Get out!Copy !req
702. It's gonna be such a shame
to see your wife divorce you!Copy !req
703. And your business ruined
over a single night of perversion!Copy !req
704. You wanna go door-to-door telling your
neighbors you're a child molester?Copy !req
705. What would the other parents do?Copy !req
706. Let their kids play here if
you're a convicted pedophile?Copy !req
707. There's Evan!Copy !req
708. I didn't think you had it in you.Copy !req
709. 911, what's your emergency?Copy !req
710. I'd like to report a break-in.Copy !req
711. You're calling from 458...Copy !req
712. Can you give us a ride?Copy !req
713. Let's go.Copy !req
714. Well, this isn't awkward at all.Copy !req
715. Cool car, Evan.Copy !req
716. This one on the right.Copy !req
717. Out.Copy !req
718. You're not gonna get out and say bye?Copy !req
719. Go.Copy !req
720. Don't you want to come in
and meet my mom?Copy !req
721. - Oh!
- Bye!Copy !req
722. Send our love to Karen and the kids!Copy !req
723. Bye!Copy !req
724. Hello?Copy !req
725. Oh, my God!Copy !req
726. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
727. Genesis, please,
this is crazy, untie me!Copy !req
728. What's the point of this?Copy !req
729. I'm a good person.Copy !req
730. I made a mistake.Copy !req
731. We can forget this ever happened.Copy !req
732. Please! Please!Copy !req
733. Haven't you ever made a mistake?Copy !req
734. Daddy!Copy !req
735. Oh, Daddy!Copy !req
736. Look what I found.Copy !req
737. Oh, my God!Copy !req
738. You take that off.Copy !req
739. That's my daughter's. You take that off!Copy !req
740. You like how it fits me, Daddy?Copy !req
741. - Look.
- Take those off,Copy !req
742. you fucking crazy bitch!Copy !req
743. Okay.Copy !req
744. You know, every girl's first loveCopy !req
745. is their daddy, huh?Copy !req
746. You're sick.Copy !req
747. You like what you see?Copy !req
748. Huh? You like what you see?Copy !req
749. Daddy?Copy !req
750. - Huh?
- No.Copy !req
751. Bel.Copy !req
752. Untie me.Copy !req
753. Untie me, please.Copy !req
754. If you really love me,Copy !req
755. untie me.Copy !req
756. Ignore that asshole.Copy !req
757. He's not an asshole.Copy !req
758. He's my Daddy.Copy !req
759. You don't listen to her, Daddy.Copy !req
760. She doesn't love you the way I do.Copy !req
761. I love you, Daddy.Copy !req
762. I've loved you ever since
Mommy brought you home.Copy !req
763. Remember that night
when we were all aloneCopy !req
764. and you snuck into my room?Copy !req
765. And I pretended to be asleep.Copy !req
766. But when you took off my clothes,
I couldn't pretend any longer.Copy !req
767. We did things you and Mommy never did.Copy !req
768. I hope you're not angry
at me anymore, Daddy.Copy !req
769. I only did that to Mommy
because I wanted you all to myself.Copy !req
770. Bel, Bel, untie me, please?Copy !req
771. Please.Copy !req
772. You can tuck me in like you always did.Copy !req
773. What's wrong, Daddy?Copy !req
774. Huh?Copy !req
775. Don't you want to fuck
your little girl again?Copy !req
776. Did you forget what you did
to me all those years?Copy !req
777. Why did you do that to me?Copy !req
778. Why did you do that to me!Copy !req
779. - Bel...
- Why?Copy !req
780. Stop! Bel!Copy !req
781. Stop! Bel! Bel, stop!Copy !req
782. Why did you do that to me!Copy !req
783. Why! Why did you do that to me!Copy !req
784. Stop! Stop!Copy !req
785. Bel! Stop, please!Copy !req
786. Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
787. Untie me.Copy !req
788. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
789. You're not hiding something,
are you, Evan?Copy !req
790. What are you hiding here, huh?Copy !req
791. Come on, where is it, Daddy?Copy !req
792. It's Karen on FaceTime!Copy !req
793. - I've been dying to meet her.
- Answer it.Copy !req
794. - Let's get to know her.
- No! No!Copy !req
795. You're right, this could get awkward.Copy !req
796. - What are you doing?
- Much better.Copy !req
797. Don't!Copy !req
798. Can a cock answer an iPhone?Copy !req
799. Yes, Belly, but it's gotta be hard.Copy !req
800. Okay.Copy !req
801. No! Please!Copy !req
802. - It could be my kids!
- Hi Evan, welcome back.Copy !req
803. So? Have they ever seen
a cheating dick before?Copy !req
804. How about covered in her lipstick?Copy !req
805. Okay! Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay. Please.Copy !req
806. Bel, I'll do whatever you want.Copy !req
807. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
808. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
809. Now, fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
810. - Fuck me!
- Attaboy, Evan.Copy !req
811. Fuck her.Copy !req
812. Fuck her like it was last night.Copy !req
813. Yeah, fuck her good!Copy !req
814. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
815. Fuck me like you fuck
your little daughter!Copy !req
816. Doggy style, Belly!Copy !req
817. You want something to eat, Bel?Copy !req
818. No, I'm okay.Copy !req
819. Okay.Copy !req
820. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
821. Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!Copy !req
822. Yeah, Daddy's little girl!Copy !req
823. You're a good little girl!Copy !req
824. - Fuck me, Daddy!
- Yeah!Copy !req
825. Fuck me like you fuck Mommy!Copy !req
826. My scar! My scar! My scar!Copy !req
827. My surgery!Copy !req
828. You've been a very bad boy, Evan!Copy !req
829. Please, please, please
take it out! Take it out!Copy !req
830. Oh, my God!Copy !req
831. Oh, my...Copy !req
832. God!Copy !req
833. Why did you hit me, Daddy?Copy !req
834. Now we have to punish you.Copy !req
835. Welcome to America's favorite game show,Copy !req
836. Who Wants to be a Pedophile!Copy !req
837. Where we give the audience
what they want!Copy !req
838. The chance to punish a pedophile.Copy !req
839. But first, let's welcome our lovely,
beautiful and charming,Copy !req
840. Ms. Bel!Copy !req
841. Hello, Ms. Bel.Copy !req
842. For tonight's contestant,
we have a very special one,Copy !req
843. he's not only an architect
but also a DJ,Copy !req
844. a husband, a father of two,
possibly three.Copy !req
845. Four.Copy !req
846. All the way from one percent land,Copy !req
847. Mr. Evan Webber!Copy !req
848. Ms. Bel, would you please
get our contestant ready?Copy !req
849. Sure.Copy !req
850. You're both crazy fucking bitches!Copy !req
851. You look 21, you lied to me!Copy !req
852. Oh, like you lied to your wife?Copy !req
853. What I tell my wife is none
of your goddamn...Copy !req
854. God! God!Copy !req
855. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
My ears! My ears!Copy !req
856. I'll go deaf! I'll go deaf!Copy !req
857. This is fucking serious!Copy !req
858. I could go deaf!Copy !req
859. The game hasn't started yet.Copy !req
860. Our first category...Copy !req
861. Schoolyards.Copy !req
862. How far away from school
will Evan have to pick up his kids?Copy !req
863. 100 yards?Copy !req
864. 500 yards?Copy !req
865. Or two miles?Copy !req
866. This is fucking sick!Copy !req
867. Wrong answer. Correct answer isCopy !req
868. you can't pick up your kids from prison.Copy !req
869. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!Copy !req
870. Please!Copy !req
871. What's our next category, Ms. Bel?Copy !req
872. I love this one.Copy !req
873. Daddies.Copy !req
874. Evan, this should be easy for you.Copy !req
875. How many family men
have survived this game?Copy !req
876. None.Copy !req
877. What was that?Copy !req
878. None.Copy !req
879. Correct!Copy !req
880. - Next question.
- Genesis.Copy !req
881. You've proved your point.Copy !req
882. God! I can't hear! I can't hear!Copy !req
883. Please stop!Copy !req
884. All you have to do is
answer the question, Evan.Copy !req
885. Okay.Copy !req
886. Well, ask it, for fuck's sake!Copy !req
887. What's the proper punishment
for a pedophile?Copy !req
888. Is it prison where
you get raped every dayCopy !req
889. and you never get to see
your family again?Copy !req
890. Castration?Copy !req
891. Or death?Copy !req
892. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tick-tock.Copy !req
893. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.Copy !req
894. Ten seconds.Copy !req
895. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.Copy !req
896. Well, looks like it's time for
our first commercial break.Copy !req
897. We'll be back after a message
from our sponsors.Copy !req
898. Hello. It's me, Louis!Copy !req
899. Mr. Webber?Copy !req
900. Who's Louis?Copy !req
901. Fucking douche bag.Copy !req
902. Get that sheet, cover him up.Copy !req
903. - You must be Louis.
- Yes.Copy !req
904. I'm Bernadette. I'm Uncle Evan's niece.Copy !req
905. Oh, hi, nice to meet you.Copy !req
906. Obviously, you're with Uncle Evan.Copy !req
907. Sorry, we're shooting a music video.Copy !req
908. Well, you guys picked
an awesome location.Copy !req
909. Come on in.Copy !req
910. So where'd you come in from?Copy !req
911. - Dallas.
- Oh? I used to live in Austin.Copy !req
912. Oh, I've never been.Copy !req
913. Well, it's fun when you're in college.Copy !req
914. Yeah, I went to Parsons.Copy !req
915. Oh, great school. I went to SVA.Copy !req
916. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
917. - I'm Louis.
- Hi.Copy !req
918. - Hi. I'm...
- She's Macarena.Copy !req
919. - She's my friend from Spain.
- Oh.Copy !req
920. - He's here to pick up...
- The art work outside.Copy !req
921. - Yes.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
922. - Somebody touch this?
- We didn't touch it.Copy !req
923. It's Aunt Karen's stuff,
we wouldn't go near it.Copy !req
924. I did see Evan in here earlier,
maybe he did.Copy !req
925. Okay,Copy !req
926. 'cause it's not supposed
to be like this.Copy !req
927. It's supposed to be bubble-wrapped
and packed up and ready to go.Copy !req
928. - Why would Evan do this?
- She said it wasn't us.Copy !req
929. Okay.Copy !req
930. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
931. Oh, my God.Copy !req
932. What the fuck did y'all do?Copy !req
933. What the fuck is this shit!Copy !req
934. We didn't want to tell you, someone
broke in and that's why Evan's out.Copy !req
935. - He was chasing them.
- Yeah.Copy !req
936. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
937. Shut the fuck up, both of you right now!Copy !req
938. Nobody fucking move!Copy !req
939. I'm calling the cops right now.Copy !req
940. Please don't tell Karen.Copy !req
941. This could be our little secret.Copy !req
942. Bitch, you're barking up
the wrong fucking tree.Copy !req
943. I'm from Oakland, ho!Copy !req
944. I know two ghetto ass
hos when I see 'em!Copy !req
945. Come to think of it,
Evan doesn't even have any fucking nieces.Copy !req
946. Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
947. You better hope the police
get here before Karen does.Copy !req
948. - What the fuck was that?
- Nothing.Copy !req
949. - Hey, wait.
- Wait.Copy !req
950. - It's nothing.
- Get out of my way!Copy !req
951. Shit.Copy !req
952. Shit!Copy !req
953. Mr. Webber!Copy !req
954. Are you okay? Oh, fuck!Copy !req
955. They're crazy!Copy !req
956. Close the door. Close the door.Copy !req
957. Louis!Copy !req
958. Louis, no!Copy !req
959. - I gotta stop these crazy ass bitches.
- Louis, forget it!Copy !req
960. They're dangerous!Copy !req
961. No! No! Stop!Copy !req
962. Stop it!Copy !req
963. What are you doing!Copy !req
964. Looking for this?Copy !req
965. Louis! Be careful!Copy !req
966. They're crazy!Copy !req
967. Monkey in the middle!
Monkey in the middle!Copy !req
968. We can't say that, Belly, it's racist.Copy !req
969. Okay, man in the middle!Copy !req
970. Give it to him!Copy !req
971. No, Genesis, give him that!Copy !req
972. Louis!Copy !req
973. Louis!Copy !req
974. Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault!
Please call an ambulance, help him!Copy !req
975. Fucker!Copy !req
976. Bel, please help him!Copy !req
977. Call an ambulance,
I promise I won't say anything!Copy !req
978. Bel, Genesis!
Call an ambulance, for fuck's sake!Copy !req
979. I think it's a little late
for an ambulance, Evan.Copy !req
980. He tripped, it's his fault.Copy !req
981. We were just playing
monkey in the middle.Copy !req
982. I mean, man in the middle.Copy !req
983. Oh, my God!Copy !req
984. You killed him!Copy !req
985. Your wife killed him
with her shitty sculpture.Copy !req
986. This shit's dangerous, Evan.Copy !req
987. How can you keep this here with kids?Copy !req
988. That's irresponsible parenting.Copy !req
989. Yeah maybe your wife
should stick to painting.Copy !req
990. Get the fuck away from me!Copy !req
991. Where do you think you're going, Evan?Copy !req
992. Get the fuck off me! Leave me alone!Copy !req
993. Wanna go for a little ride?Copy !req
994. You can't run away from us, Daddy.Copy !req
995. You can't escape.Copy !req
996. This is what happens when
you break the rules of the game, Evan.Copy !req
997. This is just like art class.Copy !req
998. What I did to Karen's statueCopy !req
999. is nothing compared
to what I'm going to do to youCopy !req
1000. if I ever see your
fucking lying face again.Copy !req
1001. I trusted you both,
how could you fuck my wife?Copy !req
1002. Never come near my family again.Copy !req
1003. Disappear or you're fucking dead.Copy !req
1004. Which way is MOMA?Copy !req
1005. It's more like "momma."Copy !req
1006. Ronnie is gonna have
a field day with this one.Copy !req
1007. Yeah, I'm sure he will.Copy !req
1008. That guy's a magician.Copy !req
1009. Yeah.Copy !req
1010. He can make anything disappear.Copy !req
1011. Let's finish this.Copy !req
1012. Wow, those were some
really long commercials.Copy !req
1013. Thanks to our sponsor Louis
for that little lovely break.Copy !req
1014. Now! Back to our
million dollar question.Copy !req
1015. What is the proper punishment
for a pedophile?Copy !req
1016. Please.Copy !req
1017. I love my children. I love my wife.Copy !req
1018. I'm a good father.Copy !req
1019. How can you judge anyone?Copy !req
1020. You're murderers.Copy !req
1021. Is that your final answer?Copy !req
1022. Cause you're gonna go deaf
in about 10 seconds from now.Copy !req
1023. Please, Genesis!Copy !req
1024. I'm a good father!Copy !req
1025. Until yesterday.Copy !req
1026. That doesn't change
how much I love them!Copy !req
1027. Do you really love them, Evan?Copy !req
1028. Really?Copy !req
1029. More than anything in the world.Copy !req
1030. So why didn't you think of
them when you were inside us?Copy !req
1031. Yeah, why, Evan?Copy !req
1032. Last night had nothing
to do with my family.Copy !req
1033. Damn right it didn't, Evan!Copy !req
1034. It had nothing to do with them.Copy !req
1035. Your family are victims.Copy !req
1036. Victims of your sleazy,
disgusting, perverted behavior.Copy !req
1037. Jake. Lisa.Copy !req
1038. They don't deserve a father like you.Copy !req
1039. This is what you did to your family.Copy !req
1040. You pervert.Copy !req
1041. Genesis, please, this isn't the answer!Copy !req
1042. Wrong answer. Correct answer is death.Copy !req
1043. We'll be back
after this commercial break.Copy !req
1044. Death?Copy !req
1045. Death?Copy !req
1046. You're gonna kill me?Copy !req
1047. You're gonna fucking kill me!Copy !req
1048. Why? Why! Because I fucked you?Copy !req
1049. You fucked me! You fucked me!Copy !req
1050. You came to my house! You came to me!Copy !req
1051. I got you a car,
I brought you your clothes,Copy !req
1052. you took a fucking bubble bath!Copy !req
1053. You wanted it! You wanted it!
You came on to me!Copy !req
1054. What was I supposed to do?Copy !req
1055. You sucked my cock, you both
fucking sucked my cock!Copy !req
1056. It was free pizza! Free fucking pizza!Copy !req
1057. It just shows up at my fucking door!Copy !req
1058. What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
1059. "We're flight attendants.
Come on, fuck us!Copy !req
1060. No one will know. Come on, fuck us!"Copy !req
1061. Oh, twosomes, threesomes.
It doesn't matter!Copy !req
1062. Starfish! Husbands!
You don't give a fuck,Copy !req
1063. you'll just fuck anything,
you'll just fuck anything!Copy !req
1064. Well, you lied to me,
I tried to help you!Copy !req
1065. I let you in, I was a good guy,
I'm a good father!Copy !req
1066. And you just fucking fucked me!Copy !req
1067. What? Now, you're gonna kill me!Copy !req
1068. You're gonna kill me? Why?Copy !req
1069. Why? 'Cause you fucked me?Copy !req
1070. What the fuck-fuck-fuck,
this is fucking insane!Copy !req
1071. You're to be executed at dawn.Copy !req
1072. If I were you,Copy !req
1073. I wouldn't waste my last
few hours crying about it.Copy !req
1074. I'm sorry, Daddy.Copy !req
1075. It is the only way.Copy !req
1076. Bel?Copy !req
1077. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1078. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1079. FaceTime. Karen!Copy !req
1080. FaceTime. Karen.Copy !req
1081. Digging a grave is fucking tiring.Copy !req
1082. And filthy. Your wife's clothes
are gonna need dry cleaning.Copy !req
1083. What's that?Copy !req
1084. You can't have access to an iPad, Evan.Copy !req
1085. You could be trying to reach a child.Copy !req
1086. Let's face it, Evan. You're a monster.Copy !req
1087. Or should I say monster!Copy !req
1088. What?Copy !req
1089. Monster surprised?Copy !req
1090. How do you know about that?Copy !req
1091. Oh, monster confused!Copy !req
1092. How the fuck do you know that!Copy !req
1093. Monster will be quiet!Copy !req
1094. You spied on me?Copy !req
1095. On my kids?Copy !req
1096. Oh, my fucking God!Copy !req
1097. Oh, my fucking God! Jesus!Copy !req
1098. I'm so fucking stupid!Copy !req
1099. Yeah, you are.Copy !req
1100. Monster retarded.Copy !req
1101. Let's change, I feel gross.Copy !req
1102. Look at all this shit.Copy !req
1103. This is you, Evan.Copy !req
1104. This is gonna be your little fucking head,
you fucking cheater!Copy !req
1105. I love this color! Red's my favorite!Copy !req
1106. Time for a haircut, Evan.Copy !req
1107. Gotta be pretty for your funeral.Copy !req
1108. He's so hairy.Copy !req
1109. You don't wanna lose an ear.Copy !req
1110. Hold still.Copy !req
1111. There we go. You look pretty.Copy !req
1112. There's Evan cutie!Copy !req
1113. There you have it.Copy !req
1114. Oh, now we see your pretty face.Copy !req
1115. Fucking bitches!Copy !req
1116. "I love the sound of vinyl. I'm Evan."Copy !req
1117. Watch this, Evan.Copy !req
1118. Jackpot!Copy !req
1119. Is that real?Copy !req
1120. What a clever way to hide
this from the kids, Evan!Copy !req
1121. You know, most firearm deaths
are a family member of the gun owner.Copy !req
1122. I don't own a gun.Copy !req
1123. It's dangerous.Copy !req
1124. Untie him.Copy !req
1125. - Are you sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1126. Genesis, please don't point that at me.Copy !req
1127. I know, it's cheating.
We still have 90 minutes.Copy !req
1128. But you were keeping secrets
from us, Evan.Copy !req
1129. Had you gotten to this before usCopy !req
1130. I don't think we'd be
having this conversation.Copy !req
1131. And you wouldn't do the same?Copy !req
1132. I'm not like you, Evan.Copy !req
1133. I don't own a gun, I don't shoot people.Copy !req
1134. I sure as hell don't bend the rules
for my own convenience.Copy !req
1135. Untie him, Belly.Copy !req
1136. I don't want him to kick me.Copy !req
1137. He won't.Copy !req
1138. He kicks, I shoot.Copy !req
1139. He knows that.Copy !req
1140. Don't you, Evan?Copy !req
1141. What do you want?Copy !req
1142. I wanna play hide and seek.Copy !req
1143. What?Copy !req
1144. Thirty seconds. Only inside the house.Copy !req
1145. You leave the house, I shoot.Copy !req
1146. What're you gonna do when you find me?Copy !req
1147. Well, if we don't find you by sunrise,Copy !req
1148. we'll leave.Copy !req
1149. - Bullshit.
- Thirty seconds. Go! Go!Copy !req
1150. - Go!
- Go!Copy !req
1151. 30, 29...Copy !req
1152. 28, 27...Copy !req
1153. 26, 25...Copy !req
1154. 24, 23, 22...Copy !req
1155. Go!Copy !req
1156. Ready or not? Here we come!Copy !req
1157. Evan!Copy !req
1158. You can't hide from us.Copy !req
1159. Here we come.Copy !req
1160. Evan?Copy !req
1161. We can smell you, Evan.Copy !req
1162. Daddy?Copy !req
1163. Psst! In here.Copy !req
1164. - Evan?
- Oh, Evan?Copy !req
1165. Are you here, monster?Copy !req
1166. Evan?Copy !req
1167. Evan?Copy !req
1168. Shit!Copy !req
1169. Evan!Copy !req
1170. Yeah, there he goes! Stop!Copy !req
1171. Evan! Stop!Copy !req
1172. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1173. Don't fucking move!Copy !req
1174. Help me! Help me!Copy !req
1175. - Scream all you fucking want!
- Help me!Copy !req
1176. No one's fucking home!
We tried every house!Copy !req
1177. Are you ready!Copy !req
1178. Please don't do this!Copy !req
1179. - Time to say goodbye!
- Please! Please!Copy !req
1180. Help!Copy !req
1181. Help me!Copy !req
1182. Please, somebody help me!Copy !req
1183. Help! Please somebody, help!Copy !req
1184. Please, let me go!Copy !req
1185. Help! Please help me! Somebody help me!Copy !req
1186. No! Help me!Copy !req
1187. No! No! No! No! No!Copy !req
1188. No, help! Help!Copy !req
1189. One, two, three!Copy !req
1190. Whoopsie-daisy!Copy !req
1191. So Evan, did we hurt your shoulder?Copy !req
1192. We want you to be comfy, Evan.Copy !req
1193. Help! Help!Copy !req
1194. Help! Help!Copy !req
1195. Don't move, Evan.
You might get dirt in your eyes.Copy !req
1196. Yeah, close your eyes, baby.Copy !req
1197. Help! Help!Copy !req
1198. Help!Copy !req
1199. Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
1200. Help! Help!Copy !req
1201. Please. Please.Copy !req
1202. Please. Please, don't do this.Copy !req
1203. Please! Bel. Please.Copy !req
1204. It looks like he's trying
to communicate.Copy !req
1205. Please.Copy !req
1206. If you promise to behave,
I'll take out the gag.Copy !req
1207. Okay.Copy !req
1208. Don't do this. Please?Copy !req
1209. I'll do whatever you want.
I'll do whatever you want.Copy !req
1210. Whatever!Copy !req
1211. Even calling your family and telling them
everything you did to us?Copy !req
1212. Yes.Copy !req
1213. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll tell them.
I'll tell them.Copy !req
1214. Okay, let's give him a lifeline.Copy !req
1215. I love the lifeline part. Let's see.Copy !req
1216. But the lifeline is a phone call.Copy !req
1217. Not FaceTime.Copy !req
1218. Your wife's not gonna see you like this.Copy !req
1219. Hi, this is Karen Alvarado,Copy !req
1220. please leave a message
or send a text. Ciao.Copy !req
1221. Go ahead, talk.Copy !req
1222. Honey. I'm sorry for
what I'm gonna tell you.Copy !req
1223. They made me.Copy !req
1224. Fuck!Copy !req
1225. Call 911!Copy !req
1226. - Call 911! I've been kidnapped...
- Evan, Evan...Copy !req
1227. - ... by two girls!
- Evan!Copy !req
1228. Call 911!Copy !req
1229. - Call 911!
- No, no, no, Evan!Copy !req
1230. - You broke the rule.
- Evan, why did you do that?Copy !req
1231. Well, now she'll fucking find you!Copy !req
1232. Not really.Copy !req
1233. I hung up as soon as it hit voice mail.
I knew you'd pussy out.Copy !req
1234. You fucking whores!Copy !req
1235. You fucking whores!Copy !req
1236. I'll fucking kill you,
you fucking-fuck bitch cunt!Copy !req
1237. I'll fucking kill you!
You fucking bitches!Copy !req
1238. Oh, there's Evan. There he is!Copy !req
1239. We missed you.Copy !req
1240. Fucking whores!Copy !req
1241. Knock-knock!Copy !req
1242. I said knock-knock.Copy !req
1243. No!Copy !req
1244. I don't think he can talk.Copy !req
1245. Okay. Knock-knock.Copy !req
1246. Who's there?Copy !req
1247. - Cheating Evan.
- Cheating Evan who?Copy !req
1248. Cheating "Evan-tually" gets you killed.Copy !req
1249. No! No!Copy !req
1250. - Ready, Evan?
- No!Copy !req
1251. No!Copy !req
1252. - One!
- No!Copy !req
1253. - Two.
- Do it!Copy !req
1254. - No! No!
- Three!Copy !req
1255. Look at his face.Copy !req
1256. We got you good.Copy !req
1257. You didn't really think we
were gonna kill you, did you?Copy !req
1258. We're not animals.Copy !req
1259. It was just a game, Evan.Copy !req
1260. A game? A game?Copy !req
1261. You know what?Copy !req
1262. For a moment, I thought
you were the one who'd say no.Copy !req
1263. And now we have to play
a game with someone else.Copy !req
1264. You know what's funny?
They never say no.Copy !req
1265. No matter who they are.Copy !req
1266. No matter how much
they love their families.Copy !req
1267. You're all the same.Copy !req
1268. Bye, Evan.Copy !req
1269. You were my favorite.Copy !req
1270. Oh!Copy !req
1271. Wish me happy birthday.
I turn 22 next week.Copy !req
1272. Yeah.Copy !req
1273. I freaked out when I turned 18.Copy !req
1274. But you made me feel 15 again.
Thanks, Evan.Copy !req
1275. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1276. Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, your phone.Copy !req
1277. You know you really should be
more careful with Facebook.Copy !req
1278. If you don't log out someone
could do terrible things with it.Copy !req
1279. Post something really personal
for all your friends to see.Copy !req
1280. Look closely. So you'll remember us.Copy !req
1281. - Yes, Evan, fuck her!
- Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
1282. Okay.Copy !req
1283. Attaboy, Evan. Fuck her!Copy !req
1284. Fuck me! Fuck me!Copy !req
1285. I'm sure you'll get
a lot of likes though.Copy !req
1286. Doggy style, Belly!Copy !req
1287. Enjoy!Copy !req
1288. Oh!Copy !req
1289. Bye, Evan! Muah! We'll miss you!Copy !req
1290. Oh!Copy !req
1291. No!Copy !req
1292. Oh, no!Copy !req
1293. Fuck me, Daddy!Copy !req
1294. God, God!Copy !req
1295. Take your bags to your rooms.
Then go use the bathroom.Copy !req
1296. And then we're gonna
go see Monkey, okay?Copy !req
1297. - Are you guys tired?
- Yeah!Copy !req
1298. Monkey?Copy !req
1299. Monkey?Copy !req
1300. Daddy had a party.Copy !req