1. (man) Do you find me sadistic?
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2. You know, Kiddo...
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3. I'd like to believe...
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4. you're aware enough, even now...
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5. to know that there's nothing sadistic...
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6. in my actions.
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7. At this moment...
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8. this is me...
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9. at my most masochistic.
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10. Bill,
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11. it's your ba...
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12. Looked dead, didn't I?
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13. Well, I wasn't.
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14. But it wasn't from lack of trying,
I can tell you that.
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15. Actually, Bill's last bullet
put me in a coma -
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16. a coma I was to lie in for four years.
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17. When I woke up, I went on what
the movie advertisements refer to as
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18. "a roaring rampage of revenge".
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19. I roared, and I rampaged,
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20. and I got bloody satisfaction.
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21. I've killed a hell of a lot of people
to get to this point,
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22. but I've only one more.
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23. The last one.
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24. The one I'm driving to right now.
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25. The only one left.
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26. And when I arrive at my destination,
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27. I am gonna kill Bill.
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28. The incident that happened
at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel
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29. that put this whole gory story into motion
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30. has since become legend.
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31. "Massacre at Two Pines."
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32. That's what the newspapers called it.
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33. The local TV news called it,
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34. "The El Paso, Texas
Wedding Chapel Massacre."
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35. How it happened, who was there,
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36. how many got killed
and who killed them -
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37. changes depending on
who's telling the story.
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38. In actual fact, the massacre didn't
happen during a wedding at all.
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39. It was a wedding rehearsal.
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40. Now, when we come
to the part where I say,
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41. "You may kiss the bride,"
you may kiss the bride.
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42. But don't stick your tongue in her mouth.
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43. This might be funny to your friends,
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44. but it would be embarrassing
to your parents.
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45. We'll try to restrain ourselves, Reverend.
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46. Y'all got a song?
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47. How 'bout "Love Me Tender"?
I can play that.
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48. - Sure.
- Yeah.
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49. "Love Me Tender" would be great.
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50. Rufus - he's the man.
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51. Rufus, who was that
that you used to play for?
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52. Rufus Thomas.
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53. Rufus Thomas.
Rufus Thomas.
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54. I was a Drell. I was a Drifter.
I was a Coaster.
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55. I was part of the Gang.
I was a Barkay.
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56. if they come through Texas,
I done played with 'em.
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57. Rufus - he's the man.
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58. - Have I forgotten anything?
- Um...
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59. Oh yes, you forgot, uh,
the seating arrangements.
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60. - Thank you, Mother.
- Yes.
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61. Now, the way we normally do this -
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62. we have the bride's side,
and then we have the groom's side.
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63. But since the bride
ain't got nobody comin',
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64. and the groom's got
far too many people comin'...
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65. Well, yeah, they're comin'
all the way from Oklahoma.
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66. Right...
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67. Well, I don't see no problem with...
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68. the groom's side
sharing the bride's side.
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69. - Do you, Mother?
- I don't have a problem with that.
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70. But, uh...
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71. Honey, you know, it would be good
if you had somebody come.
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72. You know, as a sign of good faith?
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73. Well, I don't have anybody...
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74. except for Tommy and my friends.
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75. - You have no family?
- Well, I'm workin' on changing that.
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76. Mrs. Harmony, we're all the family
this little angel's ever gonna need.
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77. I'm not feeling very well,
and this bitch is starting to piss me off.
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78. So while y'all blather on,
I'm gonna go outside and get some air.
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79. OK. Um, uh, Reverend, sorry, uh...
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80. - She's gonna go out and get some air.
- Yeah. Given her delicate condition...
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81. She just needs a few minutes
to get it together. She'll be OK.
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82. Right...
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83. Hello, Kiddo.
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84. - How did you find me?
- I'm the man.
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85. What are you doin' here?
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86. What am I doin'?
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87. Well...
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88. moment ago I was playin' my flute.
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89. At this moment...
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90. I'm lookin' at the most beautiful bride
these old eyes have ever seen.
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91. - Why are you here?
- Last look.
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92. - Are you gonna be nice?
- I've never been nice in my whole life.
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93. But I'll do my best to be sweet.
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94. Hmm.
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95. I always told you...
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96. your sweet side is you best side.
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97. I guess that's why you're
the only one who's ever seen it.
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98. - So you got a bun in the oven.
- Hmm.
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99. - I'm knocked up.
- Jeez, Louise.
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100. That young man of yours sure doesn't
believe in wasting time, does he?
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101. Have you seen Tommy?
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102. - Big guy in the tux?
- Yes.
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103. Then I saw him.
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104. I like his hair.
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105. You promised you'd be nice.
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106. No, I said I'd do my best.
That's hardly a promise.
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107. But you're right.
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108. What does your young man
do for a living?
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109. He owns a used record store
here in El Paso.
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110. - Ah. Music lover, eh?
- He's fond of music.
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111. Aren't we all?
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112. And what are you doing
for a J-O-B these days?
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113. I work in the record store.
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114. Aso.
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115. It all suddenly seems so clear.
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116. - Do you like it?
- Yeah. I like it a lot, smartass.
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117. I get to listen to music all day...
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118. talk about music all day.
It's really cool.
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119. It's gonna be a great environment
for my little girl to grow up in.
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120. As opposed to jetting around the world,
killing human beings,
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121. and being paid vast sums of money?
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122. Precisely.
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123. Well, my old friend...
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124. to each his own.
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125. However, all cockblockery aside...
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126. I am looking forward
to meeting your young man.
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127. I happen to be, more or less,
particular whom my gal marries.
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128. - You want to come to the wedding?
- Only if I can sit on the bride's side.
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129. You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.
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130. Your side always was a bit lonely,
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131. but I wouldn't sit anywhere else.
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132. You know...
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133. I had the loveliest dream about you...
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134. Oh, here's Tommy!
Call me Arlene.
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135. - You must be Tommy!
- Uh-huh.
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136. Arlene's told me so much about you.
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137. - Honey, you OK?
- Oh, I'm fine.
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138. Tommy, I'd like you to meet my father.
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139. Oh, my God!
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140. Oh, my God, this is great!
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141. I'm so glad to meet you, sir... uh, Dad.
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142. The name's Bill.
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143. Well, it's great to meet you... Bill.
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144. - Arlene told me you couldn't make it.
- Surprise.
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145. That's my pop for ya.
Always full of surprises.
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146. Well, in the surprise department...
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147. the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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148. - When did you get in?
- Just now.
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149. - Did you come straight from Australia?
- Of course.
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150. Daddy, I told Tommy that you were
in Perth mining for silver, and...
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151. no one could reach you.
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152. Lucky for us all, that's not the case.
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153. So...
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154. What's this all about?
I've heard of wedding rehearsals,
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155. but I don't believe I've ever heard of
a wedding dress rehearsal before.
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156. We thought,
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157. "Why pay so much money for a dress
you're only going to wear once?"
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158. Especially when Arlene looks
so goddamn beautiful in it.
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159. So, I think we're going to try to get
all the mileage we can out of it.
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160. isn't it supposed to be bad luck
for the groom to see the bride
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161. in her wedding dress
before the ceremony?
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162. Well, I guess I just believe
in living dangerously.
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163. I know just what you mean.
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164. Son.
Some of us have places to be.
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165. Sure do.
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166. Look, we got to go through this one
more time. So, why don't you have a s...
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167. Oh, my God. What am I thinking?
You should give her away!
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168. Tommy, that's not exactly
Daddy's cup of tea.
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169. I think Father would be
much more comfortable
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170. - sitting with the rest of the guests.
- Hmm. Really?
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171. That's asking a lot.
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172. Oh. OK.
Well, forget it.
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173. But how about we go out
to dinner tonight to celebrate?
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174. Only on the condition that
I pay for everything.
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175. Deal. We got to do this now.
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176. - Can I watch?
- Absolutely. Have a seat.
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177. - Which is the bride's side?
- Right over here.
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178. Mother, here we go!
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179. Now son, about them vows...
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180. Bill...
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181. - I just want...
- You don't owe me a damn thing.
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182. if he's the man you want...
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183. then go stand by him.
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184. - Do I look pretty?
- Oh, yes.
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185. Thank you.
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186. What the hell?
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187. No! Bill!
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188. You tellin' me she cut her way through
88 bodyguards before she got to O-Ren?
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189. Nah, there wasn't really 88 of 'em.
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190. They just call themselves
"The Crazy 88"
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191. - How come?
- I don't know.
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192. I guess they thought it sounded cool.
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193. Anyhow, they all fell
under her Hanzo sword.
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194. - She got a Hanzo sword?
- He made one for her.
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195. Didn't he swear a blood oath
to never make another sword?
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196. It would appear he has broken it.
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197. Them Japs sure know how
to hold a grudge, don't they?
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198. Or maybe...
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199. you just tend
to bring that out in people.
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200. I know this is a ridiculous question
before I ask it,
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201. but you haven't, by any chance,
kept up with your... swordplay?
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202. l, um...
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203. I pawned that years ago.
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204. You hocked a Hattori Hanzo sword?
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205. Yep.
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206. It was priceless.
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207. Well, not in El Paso, it ain't.
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208. In El Paso, I got me $250 for it.
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209. I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill.
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210. if she wants to fight with me, all she's
got to do is come to the club
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211. and start some shit,
and we'll be in a fight.
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212. I know we haven't spoken in some time,
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213. and the last time we spoke
wasn't the most pleasant,
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214. but you've got to get over
being mad at me,
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215. and start becoming afraid of,
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216. because she is coming,
and she's coming to kill you.
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217. And unless you accept my assistance,
I have no doubt she will succeed.
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218. I don't dodge guilt, and I don't Jew
out of paying my comeuppance.
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219. Can't we just... forget the past?
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220. That woman...
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221. deserves her revenge.
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222. And...
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223. we deserve to die.
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224. But then again...
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225. so does she.
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226. So I guess...
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227. we'll just see.
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228. Won't we?
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229. Late again.
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230. Budd, can't you tell time?
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231. There ain't nobody in here, man.
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232. - (man) Is that Budd?
- Yeah.
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233. (man) Tell him to get
his fucking ass back here!
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234. OK.
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235. Budd, Larry'd like a word with ya.
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236. Take a hit.
Be somebody, baby.
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237. You looking for me?
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238. I don't know what car wash
you worked before you came here
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239. that let you stroll in 20 minutes late,
but it wasn't owned by me
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240. - and I own a fuckin' car wash.
- Do you want me to leave?
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241. No, I don't want you to leave.
I want you to sit and wait.
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242. Larry...
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243. there ain't nobody out there, so...
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244. "There's nobody
out there, Larry."
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245. What's your point?
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246. - That you're not needed here?
- My point is...
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247. I'm the bouncer, and there
ain't nobody out there to bounce.
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248. You're saying that the reason...
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249. that you're not doing the job that I'm...
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250. paying you to do is that
you don't have a job to do?
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251. - No...
- Is that what you're saying?
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252. What are you trying
to convince me of, exactly?
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253. That you're as useless
as an asshole right here?
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254. Well, guess what, buddy?
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255. I think... you just fucking convinced me.
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256. Let's go to the calendar.
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257. It's calendar time.
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258. Calendar time for Buddy.
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259. - OK. You working tomorrow?
- Yeah.
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260. Mm. No, you're n... You don't even know
what fucking day you work.
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261. Here. You're not working tomorrow.
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262. You're working Wednesday.
Here you are. There you go.
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263. - Workin' Thursday?
- Yeah.
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264. I don't think so.
Friday?
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265. I d... There's your name.
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266. - if you say so.
- There used to be your name. OK?
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267. - Saturday. There used to be your name.
- Oh.
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268. Uh, Monday...
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269. Here. How about that?
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270. Fuckin' with your cash is the only thing
you kids seem to understand. OK?
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271. Now, I want you to go home till I call you.
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272. Till I call you.
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273. Before you leave, talk to Rocket.
She's got a job for you to do.
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274. And...
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275. the hat.
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276. That fuckin' hat.
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277. That fucking...
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278. How many times have I told you,
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279. don't wear that fucking hat here?
How many?
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280. Customers wear hats.
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281. Well, I'm not the boss of the customers.
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282. I'm the boss of you.
And I'm telling you...
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283. that I want you to keep
that shit-kicker hat at home.
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284. Yeah. Budd, honey, uh,
the toilet is at it again.
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285. There's shitty water all over the floor.
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286. OK... Rocket.
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287. - I'll clean it up.
- Mm-hmm.
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288. Now...
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289. that gentled you down some, didn't it?
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290. Yep.
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291. Ain't nobody a badass with a double
dose of rock salt dug deep in their tits.
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292. Not havin'... tits...
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293. as fine...
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294. or as big as yours,
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295. I can't even imagine
how bad that shit must sting.
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296. Yet...
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297. I don't want to, neither.
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298. I win.
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299. Ugh! Ugh.
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300. Bill.
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301. Wrong brother, ya hateful bitch.
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302. - Budd.
- Bingo.
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303. And to what do I owe
this dubious pleasure?
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304. I just caught me the cowgirl
ain't never been caught.
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305. - Did you kill her?
- Well, not yet, I ain't.
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306. I shot her full of rock salt.
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307. She's so gentle right now, I could
perform her coup de grâce with a rock.
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308. Anywho...
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309. Guess what I'm holdin'
in my hand right now?
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310. What?
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311. A brand spankin' new
Hattori Hanzo sword.
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312. And I'm here to tell ya, Elle,
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313. - ... that's what I call sharp.
- How much?
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314. Oh, that's hard to say,
bein' that it's... priceless and all.
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315. What's the terms?
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316. You get your bony ass down here
first thing in the morning...
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317. with a million dollars in folding cash...
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318. and I'll give you the greatest sword
ever made by a man.
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319. Now, how do you like the sound of that?
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320. Sounds like we got a deal.
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321. - One condition.
- What?
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322. She must suffer to her last breath.
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323. Well...
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324. That, Elle darlin'...
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325. I can pretty much
damn well guarantee.
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326. Then I'll see you
in the mornin', millionaire.
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327. All right.
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328. Wakey, wakey.
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329. Eggs and bakey.
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330. (man) I'm done!
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331. Get me outta this hole!
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332. Good.
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333. (man) Whew.
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334. Whoa, look at those eyes.
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335. This bitch is furious.
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336. What did I tell ya?
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337. Is she the cutest little
blond pussy you ever saw?
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338. Or... is she the cutest little
blond pussy you ever saw?
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339. I seen better.
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340. You got anything to say?
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341. White women call this
"the silent treatment."
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342. And we let 'em think we don't like it.
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343. You grab the feet, I'll get the head.
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344. Hey. Hey. Hey!
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345. Wiggle worm, you see this?
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346. You see it, don't ya?
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347. That's a can of Mace.
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348. Mm-hmm. No.
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349. You're goin' underneath
the ground tonight.
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350. And... that's all there is to it.
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351. I wanna bury ya.
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352. I was gonna bury ya...
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353. with this.
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354. But if you're gonna
act like a horse's ass...
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355. I'm gonna spray this whole goddamn
can right in your eyeballs!
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356. I'll burn 'em right outta your fuckin' head.
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357. Then you're gonna be blind...
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358. and burnin'...
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359. and buried alive.
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360. Now, what's it gonna be, sister?
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361. That's a wise decision.
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362. This is for breakin' my brother's heart.
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363. Once upon a time...
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364. in China...
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365. some believe around the year...
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366. one double aught-three,
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367. head priest of the White Lotus Clan,
Pai Mei, was walking down a road...
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368. contemplating whatever it is
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369. that a man of Pai Mei's
infinite powers would contemplate -
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370. which is another way
of saying, "Who knows?" -
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371. when a Shaolin monk
appeared on the road,
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372. traveling in the opposite direction.
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373. As the monk and the priest
crossed paths...
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374. Pai Mei...
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375. in a practically unfathomable
display of generosity,
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376. gave the monk the slightest of nods.
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377. The nod...
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378. was not returned.
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379. Now, was it the intention
of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei?
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380. Or did he just fail to see
the generous social gesture?
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381. The motives of the monk
remain unknown.
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382. What is known...
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383. were the consequences.
Copy !req
384. The next morning, Pai Mei
appeared at the Shaolin temple...
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385. and demanded
of the temple's head abbot
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386. that he offer Pai Mei his neck
to repay the insult.
Copy !req
387. The abbot, at first,
tried to console Pai Mei.
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388. Only to find Pai Mei was...
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389. inconsolable.
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390. So began...
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391. the Massacre of the Shaolin Temple,
and all sixty of the monks inside,
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392. at the fists of the White Lotus.
Copy !req
393. And... so began the legend...
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394. of Pai Mei's Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique.
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395. And what, pray tell,
is the Five-Point-Palm
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396. - Exploding-Heart Technique?
- Quite simply,
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397. the deadliest blow in all of martial arts.
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398. He hits you with his fingertips...
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399. at five different pressure
points on your body...
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400. and then lets you walk away.
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401. But once you've taken five steps...
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402. your heart explodes inside your body...
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403. and you fall to the floor, dead.
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404. - Did he teach you that?
- No.
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405. He teaches no one the Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique.
Copy !req
406. Now...
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407. one of the things
I've always liked about you...
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408. Kiddo...
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409. is you appear
wise beyond your years.
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410. So, allow me to impart
a word to the wise:
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411. Whatever...
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412. whatever Pai Mei says, obey.
Copy !req
413. if you flash him, even for an instant,
a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out.
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414. And if you throw any
American sass his way...
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415. he'll snap your back and your neck
like they were twigs.
Copy !req
416. And that will be the story of you.
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417. He'll accept you as his student.
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418. - What happened to you?
- Nothin'.
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419. - Get in a fight?
- Friendly contest.
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420. Why did he accept me?
Copy !req
421. Because he's a very, very, very old man.
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422. And like all rotten bastards...
Copy !req
423. when they become old,
they get lonely.
Copy !req
424. Which has no effect
on their dispositions,
Copy !req
425. but it does teach them
the value of company.
Copy !req
426. Whew. Oh.
Copy !req
427. Just seein' those
steps again makes me ache.
Copy !req
428. You're gonna have a lot of fun
Copy !req
429. carrying buckets of water
up and down that fucker.
Copy !req
430. When will I see you again?
Copy !req
431. That's the title of my favorite
soul song of the seventies.
Copy !req
432. - What?
- Nothin'.
Copy !req
433. When he tells me you're done.
Copy !req
434. When do you think that might be?
Copy !req
435. That, my dearest,
depends entirely on you.
Copy !req
436. Now remember,
no sarcasm, no backtalk.
Copy !req
437. At least not for the first year or so.
Copy !req
438. You're gonna have to let him
warm up to you.
Copy !req
439. He hates Caucasians,
despises Americans,
Copy !req
440. and has nothing
but contempt for women.
Copy !req
441. So, in your case...
it might take a little while.
Copy !req
442. - Adiós.
Copy !req
443. Master...
Copy !req
444. Your Mandarin is lousy.
Copy !req
445. It causes my ears discomfort.
Copy !req
446. You bray like an ass!
Copy !req
447. You are not to speak unless spoken to.
Copy !req
448. Is it too much to hope —
you understand Cantonese?
Copy !req
449. I speak Japanese very well —
Copy !req
450. I didn't ask if you speak Japanese —
Copy !req
451. I asked if you understand Cantonese?
Copy !req
452. A little.
Copy !req
453. You are here to learn the mysteries
of Kung Fu, not linguistics.
Copy !req
454. if you can't understand me —
Copy !req
455. I will communicate with you
like I would a dog.
Copy !req
456. When I yell, when I point,
when I beat you with my stick!
Copy !req
457. Bill is your master, is he not?
Copy !req
458. Yes, he is.
Copy !req
459. Your master tells me —
you're not entirely unschooled.
Copy !req
460. What training do you possess?
Copy !req
461. I am proficient in Tiger-Crane Style,
Copy !req
462. and I am more than proficient in
the exquisite art of the Samurai sword.
Copy !req
463. The exquisite art of the Samurai sword.
Don't make me laugh!
Copy !req
464. Your so-called exquisite art,
is only fit for —
Copy !req
465. Japanese fat heads!
Copy !req
466. Your anger amuses me.
Do you believe you are my match?
Copy !req
467. No.
Copy !req
468. Are you aware I kill at will?
Copy !req
469. Yes.
Copy !req
470. Is it your wish to die?
Copy !req
471. No.
Copy !req
472. Then you must be stupid... so stupid.
Copy !req
473. Rise, and let me look at
your ridiculous face.
Copy !req
474. Rise.
Copy !req
475. So my pathetic friend...
ls there anything that you can do well?
Copy !req
476. What's the matter?
Copy !req
477. Cat got your tongue?
Copy !req
478. Oh yes, you speak Japanese.
Copy !req
479. I despise the Goddamn Japs!
Copy !req
480. Go to that rack.
Copy !req
481. Remove the sword.
Copy !req
482. Let's see how good you really are.
Copy !req
483. if...
Copy !req
484. you land a single blow,
Copy !req
485. I'll bow down and call you master.
Copy !req
486. From here you can get
an excellent view of my foot.
Copy !req
487. Your swordsmanship —
is amateur at best.
Copy !req
488. Your so-called kung-fu
is really quite pathetic.
Copy !req
489. I asked you to demonstrate
what you know... and you did...
Copy !req
490. Not a goddamn thing!
Copy !req
491. Let's see your Tiger Crane
match my Eagle's Claw.
Copy !req
492. Like all Yankee women...
Copy !req
493. all you can do is order in restaurants
and spend a man's money.
Copy !req
494. Excruciating— isn't it?
Copy !req
495. Yes!
Copy !req
496. if it was my wish...
Copy !req
497. I could chop your arm off.
Copy !req
498. No, please don't!
Copy !req
499. It's my arm now.
I can do what I please.
Copy !req
500. if you can stop me — I suggest you try.
Copy !req
501. I can't.
Copy !req
502. Because you're helpless?
Copy !req
503. Yes.
Copy !req
504. Have you ever felt this before?
Copy !req
505. No.
Copy !req
506. Compared to me — you're as helpless
as a worm fighting an eagle?
Copy !req
507. Yes!
Copy !req
508. That's the beginning!
Copy !req
509. Is it your wish to possess
this kind of power?
Copy !req
510. Yes!
Copy !req
511. Your training will begin tomorrow.
Copy !req
512. Since your arm now belongs to me...
Copy !req
513. I want it strong.
Copy !req
514. Can you do that?
Copy !req
515. I can, but not that close.
Copy !req
516. Then you can't do it.
Copy !req
517. What if your enemy —
is three inches in front of you...
Copy !req
518. what do you do then...
Copy !req
519. curl into a ball...
Copy !req
520. or do you put your fist through him?
Copy !req
521. Now begin.
Copy !req
522. It's the wood that should
fear your hand...
Copy !req
523. not the other way around.
Copy !req
524. No wonder you can't do it...
you acquiesce to defeat
Copy !req
525. Before you even begin.
Copy !req
526. if you want to eat like a dog...
Copy !req
527. You can live and sleep
outside like a dog.
Copy !req
528. if you want to live and sleep
like a human...
Copy !req
529. pick up those sticks.
Copy !req
530. Come on, you bitch.
Copy !req
531. OK, Pai Mei.
Copy !req
532. Here I come.
Copy !req
533. May I have a glass of water, please?
Copy !req
534. - So that's a Texas funeral?
- Yep.
Copy !req
535. I have to give it to ya, Budd.
Copy !req
536. That's a pretty fucked up way to die.
Copy !req
537. What's the name on the grave
she's buried under?
Copy !req
538. Paula...
Copy !req
539. Schultz.
Copy !req
540. Can I look at the sword?
Copy !req
541. That's my money right there
in that red bag, isn't it?
Copy !req
542. It sure is.
Copy !req
543. Well then, it's your sword now.
Copy !req
544. What's that you said?
Copy !req
545. So this is a Hattori Hanzo sword.
Copy !req
546. That's a Hanzo sword, all right.
Copy !req
547. Bill tells me you once had
one of these of your own.
Copy !req
548. Yeah, once.
Copy !req
549. Yeah? How does this one
compare to that?
Copy !req
550. if you're gonna compare
a Hanzo sword...
Copy !req
551. you compare it
to every other sword ever made -
Copy !req
552. wasn't made - by Hattori Hanzo.
Copy !req
553. Here you go.
Wrap your lips around that.
Copy !req
554. So...
Copy !req
555. which "R" are you filled with?
Copy !req
556. What?
Copy !req
557. They say...
Copy !req
558. the number one killer...
Copy !req
559. of old people...
Copy !req
560. is retirement.
Copy !req
561. People got a job to do, they tend to live
a little bit longer so they can do it.
Copy !req
562. I've always figured that...
Copy !req
563. warriors and their enemies...
Copy !req
564. share the same relationship.
Copy !req
565. So now that you're not gonna have
to face your enemy no more
Copy !req
566. on the battlefield...
Copy !req
567. which "R" ya filled with?
Copy !req
568. Relief...
Copy !req
569. or regret?
Copy !req
570. - A little bit of both.
- Horseshit.
Copy !req
571. I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both,
Copy !req
572. but I know damn well that you feel one...
Copy !req
573. more than you feel the other.
Copy !req
574. And the question was:
Which one is it?
Copy !req
575. Regret.
Copy !req
576. You know,
you gotta hand it to the ol' girl.
Copy !req
577. I never saw anybody buffalo Bill
the way she buffaloed Bill.
Copy !req
578. Bill thought she was so damn smart.
Copy !req
579. And I tried to tell him...
Copy !req
580. she was just smart for a blond.
Copy !req
581. Thanks a bunch.
Copy !req
582. All right.
Copy !req
583. Mmm.
Copy !req
584. I'm sorry, Budd.
Copy !req
585. That was rude of me, wasn't it?
Copy !req
586. Budd, I'd like to introduce my friend,
the black mamba.
Copy !req
587. Black mamba, this is Budd.
Copy !req
588. You know, before I picked
that little fella up,
Copy !req
589. I looked him up on the lnternet.
Copy !req
590. Fascinating creature, the black mamba.
Copy !req
591. Listen to this:
Copy !req
592. "In Africa, the saying goes,
Copy !req
593. 'In the bush, an elephant can kill you,
a leopard can kill you,
Copy !req
594. and a black mamba can kill you.
But only with the mamba,
Copy !req
595. and this has been true in Africa
since the dawn of time, is death sure.'
Copy !req
596. Hence its handle, 'Death lncarnate.'"
Pretty cool, huh?
Copy !req
597. "lts neurotoxic venom is one of
nature's most effective poisons,
Copy !req
598. "acting on the nervous system,
causing paralysis.
Copy !req
599. "The venom of a black mamba
can kill a human being in four hours
Copy !req
600. "if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb.
Copy !req
601. "However, a bite to the face or torso
Copy !req
602. can bring death from paralysis
within 20 minutes."
Copy !req
603. Now, you should listen to this,
'cause this concerns you.
Copy !req
604. "The amount of venom that can be
delivered from a single bite
Copy !req
605. can be gargantuan."
Copy !req
606. You know, I've always liked
that word, "gargantuan."
Copy !req
607. I so rarely have an opportunity
to use it in a sentence.
Copy !req
608. "if not treated quickly with antivenom,
Copy !req
609. "ten to 15 milligrams
can be fatal to human beings.
Copy !req
610. "However, the black mamba can deliver
Copy !req
611. as much as 100 to 400 milligrams
of venom from a single bite."
Copy !req
612. Now...
Copy !req
613. in these last agonizing
minutes of life you have left,
Copy !req
614. let me answer that question
you asked earlier more thoroughly.
Copy !req
615. Right at this moment...
Copy !req
616. the biggest "R" I feel is regret.
Copy !req
617. Regret that maybe
the greatest warrior I have ever met
Copy !req
618. met her end at the hands
of a bushwhackin', scrub,
Copy !req
619. alkie, piece of shit like you.
Copy !req
620. That woman deserved better.
Copy !req
621. Bill...
Copy !req
622. I have some tragic news.
Copy !req
623. Your brother's dead.
Copy !req
624. I am so sorry, baby.
Copy !req
625. She put a black mamba in his camper.
Copy !req
626. I got her, sweetie.
She's dead.
Copy !req
627. Let me put it this way:
Copy !req
628. You ever start feeling sentimental,
go to Barstow, California.
Copy !req
629. When you get here, walk into a florist
and buy a bunch of flowers.
Copy !req
630. Then you take those flowers
to Huntington Cemetery
Copy !req
631. on Fuller and Guadalupe, look for
the headstone marked "Paula Schultz,"
Copy !req
632. and lay them on the grave.
Copy !req
633. 'Cause you will be standing at the final
resting place of Beatrix Kiddo.
Copy !req
634. - Marty Kitrosser?
- Here.
Copy !req
635. - Melanie Harrhouse?
- Here.
Copy !req
636. - Beatrix Kiddo?
- Here.
Copy !req
637. Look... I can be there
in about four hours.
Copy !req
638. Do you want me to come over?
Copy !req
639. No, no, no, no.
You need me, baby, I'm there.
Copy !req
640. OK. I'm leaving now.
Copy !req
641. You go smoke some pot or somethin',
I'll be there soon.
Copy !req
642. Ugh.
Copy !req
643. Gross.
Copy !req
644. Hi-ya!
Copy !req
645. "To my brother, Budd.
The only man I ever loved. Bill."
Copy !req
646. What's that?
Copy !req
647. Budd's Hanzo sword.
Copy !req
648. He said he pawned it.
Copy !req
649. Guess that makes him
a liar now, don't it?
Copy !req
650. - Elle?
- Bea.
Copy !req
651. Somethin' I've always
been curious about.
Copy !req
652. Just between us girls...
Copy !req
653. what did you say to Pai Mei
to make him snatch out your eye?
Copy !req
654. Ow!
Copy !req
655. I called him a miserable old fool.
Copy !req
656. Ooh. Bad idea.
Copy !req
657. Know what I did?
Copy !req
658. I killed that miserable old fool.
Copy !req
659. How do you like the fish head,
you miserable old fool?
Copy !req
660. I poisoned his fish heads.
Copy !req
661. Elle, you treacherous dog.
Copy !req
662. I give you my word...
Copy !req
663. And I told him,
Copy !req
664. "To me, the word
of an old fool like you
Copy !req
665. is worth less than nothing."
Copy !req
666. That's right.
Copy !req
667. I killed your master.
Copy !req
668. And now I'm gonna kill you, too.
Copy !req
669. With your own sword, no less.
Copy !req
670. Which, in the very immediate future,
will become my sword.
Copy !req
671. Bitch...
Copy !req
672. you don't have a future.
Copy !req
673. Fucking bitch!
Copy !req
674. I'll kill you!
You're fuckin' dead!
Copy !req
675. You bitch! You bitch!
Copy !req
676. I'll fucking kill you, you bitch!
Copy !req
677. Oh, I'll get you!
Copy !req
678. I'm gonna...
Copy !req
679. Where are you?
Lemme fuckin' at you!
Copy !req
680. Where are you?
I'm coming, you fucking bitch!
Copy !req
681. You're fucking dead!
You're dead!
Copy !req
682. Oh... shit!
Copy !req
683. Like most men
who never knew their father,
Copy !req
684. Bill collected father figures.
Copy !req
685. The first was Esteban Vihaio.
Copy !req
686. Esteban was a pimp
and a friend of Bill's mother.
Copy !req
687. He ran a brothel in Acuna, Mexico,
for over 50 years.
Copy !req
688. His army, the Acuna Boys,
Copy !req
689. made up of the fatherless offspring
of his whores, ran Acuna.
Copy !req
690. He ran the Acuna Boys.
Copy !req
691. Now, at the age of 80, it would be
this retired gentleman of leisure
Copy !req
692. who could point me in Bill's direction.
Copy !req
693. Señor Esteban Vihaio?
Copy !req
694. Yes.
Copy !req
695. May I join you?
Copy !req
696. Only on the condition
that you call me Esteban.
Copy !req
697. - May I join you, Esteban?
- Please.
Copy !req
698. - Americana?
- Yes.
Copy !req
699. I speak a little Spanish, if you prefer.
Copy !req
700. No, no, no, no.
I prefer English.
Copy !req
701. I haven't spoken it in a while,
Copy !req
702. but I would relish
the opportunity to converse
Copy !req
703. with such a pretty
companion as yourself.
Copy !req
704. It's my pleasure to be in the company
of such a fine gentleman as yourself.
Copy !req
705. I must warn you, young lady...
Copy !req
706. I am susceptible to flattery.
Copy !req
707. How may I be of service to you?
Copy !req
708. Where's Bill?
Copy !req
709. Ahh.
Copy !req
710. You must be Beatrix.
Copy !req
711. I can see the attraction.
Copy !req
712. I remember when Bill was only
five years old, I took him to the movies.
Copy !req
713. It was a movie starring Lana Turner.
Copy !req
714. The Postman Always Ring Twice,
with John Garfields.
Copy !req
715. And whenever she would
appear on the screen,
Copy !req
716. Bill would begin compulsively to
suck his thumb to an obscene amount.
Copy !req
717. And I knew from this very moment,
this boy was a fool for blonds.
Copy !req
718. Mmm.
Copy !req
719. You know...
Copy !req
720. being a fool for a woman
such as yourself...
Copy !req
721. is always the right thing to do.
Copy !req
722. if we had met when I was
back in business...
Copy !req
723. you would have been
my number one lady.
Copy !req
724. - Well, I'm flattered.
- You goddamn well better be.
Copy !req
725. This... I heard you were driving a truck.
Copy !req
726. My Pussy Wagon died on me.
Copy !req
727. The Pussy died. Hmm.
Copy !req
728. Bill shot you in the head, no?
Copy !req
729. - Yes.
- Hmm.
Copy !req
730. I would have been much nicer.
Copy !req
731. I would have just cut your face.
Copy !req
732. You must forgive me.
Copy !req
733. Please... you have a drink with me.
Copy !req
734. Clara!
Copy !req
735. Coming.
Copy !req
736. Dos añejo.
Copy !req
737. Gracias.
Copy !req
738. What were we talking about?
Copy !req
739. Bill.
Copy !req
740. - Where's Bill?
- Where's Bill.
Copy !req
741. Yeah. Hmm.
Copy !req
742. Bill is at the Villa Quatro,
on the road to Salina.
Copy !req
743. I will draw you a map.
Copy !req
744. Bill is like a son to me.
Copy !req
745. - Do you know why I help you?
- No.
Copy !req
746. Because he would want me to.
Copy !req
747. Now, that I don't believe.
Copy !req
748. Ahh.
Copy !req
749. How else is he ever
going to see you again?
Copy !req
750. Freeze, Mommy.
Copy !req
751. Bang, bang! Oh!
Copy !req
752. Oh! She got us, B.B.
Copy !req
753. Mommy got us.
Oh, I'm dying!
Copy !req
754. I'm dying.
Copy !req
755. Fall down, sweetheart.
Mommy shot us.
Copy !req
756. But little did Quickdraw Kiddo know
that little B.B. was only playing possum,
Copy !req
757. due to the fact that
she was impervious to bullets.
Copy !req
758. I am pervious to bullets, Mommy.
Copy !req
759. Hey, get back down there.
You're playing possum.
Copy !req
760. So, as the smirking killer
advanced on what she thought
Copy !req
761. was a bullet-ridden corpse,
that's when little B.B. fired.
Copy !req
762. Bang, bang!
Copy !req
763. You're dead, Mommy.
So die.
Copy !req
764. Oh!
Copy !req
765. B.B.
Copy !req
766. Oh! B.B...
Copy !req
767. I should've known.
Copy !req
768. You are... the best.
Copy !req
769. Oh, Mommy.
Don't die.
Copy !req
770. I was just playing.
Copy !req
771. I know.
Copy !req
772. I told her you were asleep...
Copy !req
773. but that one day you'd wake up
and come back to her.
Copy !req
774. And she asked me, "if Mommy's
been asleep since I was born,
Copy !req
775. then how will she know what I look like?"
Copy !req
776. To which I replied, "Because
Mommy's been dreaming of you."
Copy !req
777. That's what I said.
Copy !req
778. Did you dream of me?
I dreamed of you.
Copy !req
779. Every single night, baby.
Every single night.
Copy !req
780. I waited a long time
for you to wake up, Mommy.
Copy !req
781. Now, let me look at you.
Copy !req
782. Oh.
Copy !req
783. My, my, my,
what a pretty little girl you are.
Copy !req
784. You're pretty too, Mommy.
Copy !req
785. Tell Mommy what you said
when I showed you her picture.
Copy !req
786. Mnh-mnh.
Copy !req
787. - Come on, shy girl.
- Mnh-mnh.
Copy !req
788. Come on. You know what you said.
Copy !req
789. Come on. Tell Mommy.
It'll make her feel good. Come on.
Copy !req
790. - Mnh-mnh.
- Yeah. Come on.
Copy !req
791. I said... I said,
Copy !req
792. "You're the most beautifulest woman
I ever saw in the whole wide world."
Copy !req
793. That's the truth.
That's what she said.
Copy !req
794. B.B., don't you think Mommy has the
prettiest hair in the whole wide world?
Copy !req
795. - Yes, I do.
- Matter of fact, it's better than pretty.
Copy !req
796. - What's better than pretty?
- Mmm... Gorgeous.
Copy !req
797. Very good. Gorgeous.
Mommy is gorgeous.
Copy !req
798. Hmm. You know, sweetie,
Mommy's kinda mad at Daddy.
Copy !req
799. Why, Daddy?
Were you being a bad daddy?
Copy !req
800. I'm afraid I was.
I was a real bad daddy.
Copy !req
801. Our little girl learned about
life and death the other day.
Copy !req
802. Wanna tell Mommy about
what happened to Emilio?
Copy !req
803. I killed him.
Copy !req
804. - Emilio was her goldfish.
- Emilio was my goldfish.
Copy !req
805. She came running into my room,
holding the fish in her hand and crying,
Copy !req
806. "Daddy. Daddy.
Emilio's dead."
Copy !req
807. And I said, "Really? That's so sad.
Copy !req
808. How did he die?"
Copy !req
809. - And what did you say?
- I stepped on him.
Copy !req
810. Actually, young lady, the words
you so strategically used were,
Copy !req
811. "l accidentally stepped on him."
Copy !req
812. To which I queried,
Copy !req
813. "And just how did your foot accidentally
find its way into Emilio's fishbowl?"
Copy !req
814. And she said, "No, no, no. Emilio was
on the carpet when I stepped on him."
Copy !req
815. Mmm. The plot thickens.
Copy !req
816. "And just how did Emilio
get on the carpet?"
Copy !req
817. And, Mommy, you would've been
so proud of her.
Copy !req
818. She didn't lie.
Copy !req
819. She said she took Emilio
out of his bowl...
Copy !req
820. and put him on the carpet.
Copy !req
821. And what was Emilio
doing on the carpet?
Copy !req
822. Flapping.
Copy !req
823. - And then you stomped on him.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
824. And when you lifted up your foot...
Copy !req
825. - ... what was Emilio doing then?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
826. He stopped flapping, didn't he?
Copy !req
827. She told me later...
Copy !req
828. that the second she lifted up her foot
Copy !req
829. and saw Emilio not flapping,
she knew what she had done.
Copy !req
830. Is that not the perfect
visual image of life and death?
Copy !req
831. A fish flapping on the carpet,
and a fish not flapping on the carpet.
Copy !req
832. So powerful, even a four-year-old
with no concept of life or death...
Copy !req
833. knew what it meant.
Copy !req
834. - You loved Emilio, didn't you?
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
835. Well... I love Mommy, too.
Copy !req
836. But I did to Mommy
what you did to Emilio.
Copy !req
837. - You stomped on Mommy?
- Worse.
Copy !req
838. I shot Mommy.
Copy !req
839. Not pretend shooting
like we were just doing.
Copy !req
840. I shot her for real.
Copy !req
841. Why? Did you want to see
what would happen?
Copy !req
842. No, I knew what would happen
to Mommy if I shot her.
Copy !req
843. What I didn't know was, when I shot
Mommy, what would happen to me.
Copy !req
844. - What happened?
- I was very sad.
Copy !req
845. And that's when I learned...
Copy !req
846. some things, once you do,
they can never be undone.
Copy !req
847. - What happened to Mommy?
- Why don't you ask Mommy?
Copy !req
848. You OK, Mommy?
Did it hurt?
Copy !req
849. No, sweetie.
Copy !req
850. Doesn't hurt anymore.
Copy !req
851. Did it make you sick?
Copy !req
852. No. It made me sleep.
Copy !req
853. That's why I haven't been with you, B.B.
I've been asleep.
Copy !req
854. But you're awake now, Mommy. Right?
Copy !req
855. I'm wide awake, pretty girl.
Copy !req
856. B.B., would you like Mommy to watch
a video with you before sleepy time?
Copy !req
857. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
858. Mommy, do you want to watch
a video with me before sleepy time?
Copy !req
859. Oh, yeah!
I would love to.
Copy !req
860. - Which one do you wanna watch?
- Shogun Assassin.
Copy !req
861. No, B.B.
Shogun Assassin is too long.
Copy !req
862. - Mnh-mnh.
- No, it's not.
Copy !req
863. Well, then, I'll leave you ladies to it.
Copy !req
864. (boy) When I was little,
my father was famous.
Copy !req
865. He was the greatest samurai
in the empire.
Copy !req
866. And he was the shogun's decapitator.
Copy !req
867. He cut off the heads of 131 lords.
Copy !req
868. My father would come home to Mother
and when he would see her,
Copy !req
869. he would forget about the killings.
Copy !req
870. He wasn't scared of the shogun,
but the shogun was scared of him.
Copy !req
871. Maybe that was the problem.
Copy !req
872. One night, the shogun sent...
Copy !req
873. I was just admiring your sword.
Copy !req
874. Quite a piece of work.
Copy !req
875. Speaking of which, how is Hanzo-san?
Copy !req
876. He's good.
Copy !req
877. Has his sushi gotten any better?
Copy !req
878. You know, I couldn't believe it.
You got him to make you a sword.
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879. It was easy.
I just dropped your name, Bill.
Copy !req
880. That'd do it.
Copy !req
881. I suppose the idea is we cross
Hanzo swords. Am I right?
Copy !req
882. Well,
Copy !req
883. it just so happens this hacienda
has its own private beach.
Copy !req
884. And that private beach just so happens
to look particularly beautiful
Copy !req
885. bathed in moonlight.
Copy !req
886. And there just so happens to be
a full moon out tonight.
Copy !req
887. So, swordfighter, if you want
a swordfight, that's where I suggest.
Copy !req
888. But if you wanna be old school about it . . .
Copy !req
889. . . . and you know
I'm all about old school . . .
Copy !req
890. . . . then we could wait until dawn
and slice each other up at sunrise
Copy !req
891. like a couple of real-life honest . . .
Copy !req
892. Now, if you don't settle down, I'm gonna
have to put one in your kneecap.
Copy !req
893. And I hear tell that's
a very painful place to get shot in.
Copy !req
894. I'm just fuckin' with you.
Copy !req
895. Now . . .
Copy !req
896. . . . when it comes to you . . .
Copy !req
897. . . . and us . . .
Copy !req
898. . . . I have a few unanswered questions.
Copy !req
899. So, before this tale of bloody revenge
reaches its climax,
Copy !req
900. I'm gonna ask you some questions,
and I want you to tell me the truth.
Copy !req
901. However, therein lies a dilemma.
Copy !req
902. Because when it comes
to the subject of me,
Copy !req
903. I believe you are truly and utterly
incapable of telling the truth.
Copy !req
904. Especially to me.
And least of all, to yourself.
Copy !req
905. And when it comes to the subject of me,
Copy !req
906. I am truly and utterly incapable
of believing anything you say.
Copy !req
907. How do you suppose
we solve this dilemma?
Copy !req
908. Well,
Copy !req
909. it just so happens,
Copy !req
910. I have a solution.
Copy !req
911. - Aah!
- Gotcha!
Copy !req
912. Goddamn!
Copy !req
913. What the fuck
did you just shoot me with?
Copy !req
914. My greatest invention.
Or at least my favourite.
Copy !req
915. Don't touch it, or I'll stick another one
right in your cheek.
Copy !req
916. What lies within that dart, just begging
to course its way through your veins . . .
Copy !req
917. . . . is an incredibly potent
and quite infallible truth serum.
Copy !req
918. I call it "The Undisputed Truth."
Copy !req
919. Twice as strong as sodium pentothal,
with no druggie aftereffects.
Copy !req
920. Except for a slight wave of euphoria.
You feel it?
Copy !req
921. - Euphoria?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
922. - No.
- Too bad.
Copy !req
923. As you know . . .
Copy !req
924. . . . I'm quite keen on comic books.
Copy !req
925. Especially the ones about superheroes.
Copy !req
926. I find the whole mythology
surrounding superheroes fascinating.
Copy !req
927. Take my favorite superhero, Superman.
Copy !req
928. Not a great comic book.
Not particularly well drawn.
Copy !req
929. Mmm.
Copy !req
930. But the mythology . . .
Copy !req
931. The mythology is not only great,
it's unique.
Copy !req
932. How long does this shit take
to go into effect?
Copy !req
933. About two minutes. Just long enough
for me to finish my point.
Copy !req
934. Now, a staple of the superhero
mythology is,
Copy !req
935. there's the superhero
and there's the alter ego.
Copy !req
936. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne,
Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker.
Copy !req
937. When that character wakes up
in the morning, he's Peter Parker.
Copy !req
938. He has to put on a costume
to become Spider-Man.
Copy !req
939. And it is in that characteristic
Superman stands alone.
Copy !req
940. Superman didn't become Superman.
Copy !req
941. Superman was born Superman.
Copy !req
942. When Superman wakes up
in the morning, he's Superman.
Copy !req
943. His alter ego is Clark Kent.
Copy !req
944. His outfit with the big red "S" -
Copy !req
945. that's the blanket he was wrapped in
as a baby when the Kents found him.
Copy !req
946. Those are his clothes.
Copy !req
947. What Kent wears - the glasses,
the business suit - that's the costume.
Copy !req
948. That's the costume Superman wears
to blend in with us.
Copy !req
949. Clark Kent is how Superman views us.
Copy !req
950. And what are the characteristics
of Clark Kent?
Copy !req
951. He's weak . . .
Copy !req
952. . . . he's unsure of himself . . .
Copy !req
953. . . . he's a coward.
Copy !req
954. Clark Kent is Superman's critique
on the whole human race.
Copy !req
955. Sort of like Beatrix Kiddo
and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.
Copy !req
956. Aso.
Copy !req
957. The point emerges.
Copy !req
958. You would've worn the costume
of Arlene Plimpton,
Copy !req
959. but you were born Beatrix Kiddo.
Copy !req
960. And every morning when you woke up,
you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo.
Copy !req
961. Oh, you can . . . take the needle out.
Copy !req
962. Are you calling me a superhero?
Copy !req
963. I'm calling you a killer.
Copy !req
964. A natural born killer.
Copy !req
965. You always have been,
and you always will be.
Copy !req
966. Moving to El Paso . . .
Copy !req
967. . . . working in a used record store . . .
Copy !req
968. . . . goin' to the movies with Tommy . . .
Copy !req
969. . . . clipping coupons.
Copy !req
970. That's you . . .
Copy !req
971. . . . trying to disguise yourself
as a worker bee.
Copy !req
972. That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive.
Copy !req
973. But you're not a worker bee.
Copy !req
974. You're a renegade killer bee.
Copy !req
975. And no matter how much beer you drank
or barbecue you ate
Copy !req
976. or how fat your ass got,
Copy !req
977. nothing in the world
would ever change that.
Copy !req
978. First question:
Copy !req
979. Did you really think your life in El Paso
was gonna work?
Copy !req
980. No!
Copy !req
981. But I would've had B.B.!
Copy !req
982. Don't get me wrong.
Copy !req
983. I think you would have been
a wonderful mother.
Copy !req
984. But you are a killer.
Copy !req
985. All those people you killed to get to me . . .
Copy !req
986. . . . felt damn good, didn't they?
Copy !req
987. Yes.
Copy !req
988. Every single one of them?
Copy !req
989. Yes.
Copy !req
990. That was the warm-up round.
Copy !req
991. Now comes the $64,000 question.
Copy !req
992. Why did you run away
from me with my baby?
Copy !req
993. Do you remember the last assignment
you sent me on?
Copy !req
994. Of course.
Copy !req
995. Lisa Wong.
Copy !req
996. The morning I left, I was sick.
Copy !req
997. On the plane, I threw up.
Copy !req
998. So I started thinking:
Copy !req
999. Maybe I was pregnant.
Copy !req
1000. "Easy to use. Remove cap and urinate
on the absorbent end for five seconds.
Copy !req
1001. "Accurate results in only 90 seconds.
Copy !req
1002. You can read the results as soon as
the line appears in the window."
Copy !req
1003. Fuck.
Copy !req
1004. What I didn't know...
Copy !req
1005. was that somewhere on my journey
I had been spotted.
Copy !req
1006. With me in L.A., it didn't take Lisa Wong
long to send an assassin of her own.
Copy !req
1007. - Hello, can I help you?
Copy !req
1008. Hello, I'm Karen Kim,
I'm the hospitality manager of the hotel.
Copy !req
1009. I have a welcome gift
from the management.
Copy !req
1010. Oh, that's nice. Um . . .
Copy !req
1011. Can you just leave it by the door?
Copy !req
1012. - You pretty good with that shotgun?
- Not that I have to be at this range,
Copy !req
1013. but I'm a fuckin' surgeon
with this shotgun.
Copy !req
1014. Well, guess what, bitch?
I'm better than Annie Oakley.
Copy !req
1015. - And I got you right in my sight.
- I could blow your fuckin' head off.
Copy !req
1016. Not before I put one
right between your eyes, so let's talk.
Copy !req
1017. Karen . . .
Copy !req
1018. . . . I just found out . . .
Copy !req
1019. . . . right now . . .
Copy !req
1020. . . . not a moment before
you blew a hole through the door . . .
Copy !req
1021. - . . . that I'm pregnant.
- What is this?
Copy !req
1022. On the floor by the door . . .
Copy !req
1023. . . . is a strip that says I'm pregnant.
Copy !req
1024. Bullshit.
Copy !req
1025. Any other time
you'd be 100 percent right.
Copy !req
1026. This time . . .
Copy !req
1027. . . .you're 100 percent wrong.
Copy !req
1028. I'm the deadliest woman in the world.
Copy !req
1029. But right now . . .
Copy !req
1030. . . . I'm just scared shitless for my baby.
Copy !req
1031. Please.
Copy !req
1032. Just look at the strip.
Copy !req
1033. Please.
Copy !req
1034. Stay where you are and don't move.
Copy !req
1035. I don't know what this fuckin' shit means.
Copy !req
1036. The box with the directions -
it's right there.
Copy !req
1037. "Easy to use.
Copy !req
1038. Remove the cap and urinate
on the absorbent end."
Copy !req
1039. Blue means pregnant.
Copy !req
1040. I'll read it myself, thank you.
Copy !req
1041. Oh, OK.
Copy !req
1042. Say I were to believe you.
What then?
Copy !req
1043. Just go home.
Copy !req
1044. I'll do the same.
Copy !req
1045. Congratulations.
Copy !req
1046. Before that strip turned blue...
Copy !req
1047. . . . I was a woman, I was your woman.
Copy !req
1048. I was a killer who killed for you.
Copy !req
1049. Before that strip turned blue,
I would've jumped a motorcycle
Copy !req
1050. onto a speeding train.
Copy !req
1051. For you.
Copy !req
1052. But once that strip turned blue . . .
Copy !req
1053. . . . I could no longer do
any of those things.
Copy !req
1054. Not anymore.
Copy !req
1055. Because I was gonna be a mother.
Copy !req
1056. Can you understand that?
Copy !req
1057. Yes.
Copy !req
1058. But why didn't you . . .
Copy !req
1059. . . . tell me then, instead of now?
Copy !req
1060. Once you knew, you'd claim her.
Copy !req
1061. And I didn't want that.
Copy !req
1062. Not your decision to make.
Copy !req
1063. Yes.
Copy !req
1064. But it's the right decision,
and I made it for my daughter.
Copy !req
1065. She deserved to be born
with a clean slate.
Copy !req
1066. But with you . . .
Copy !req
1067. . . . she would've been born
into a world she shouldn't have.
Copy !req
1068. I had to choose.
Copy !req
1069. I chose her.
Copy !req
1070. You know, five years ago,
Copy !req
1071. if I had to make a list of impossible
things that could never happen,
Copy !req
1072. you performing a coup de grâce on me
by bustin' a cap in my crown . . .
Copy !req
1073. . . . would've been right
at the top of the list.
Copy !req
1074. I'd have been wrong, wouldn't l?
Copy !req
1075. l-I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1076. Was that a question?
Copy !req
1077. Of impossible things
that could never happen -
Copy !req
1078. yes, in this instance
you would've been wrong.
Copy !req
1079. Well?
Copy !req
1080. When you never came back,
Copy !req
1081. I naturally assumed Lisa Wong,
or somebody else, had killed you.
Copy !req
1082. Oh! And for the record . . .
Copy !req
1083. . . . letting somebody think somebody
they love is dead when they're not
Copy !req
1084. is quite cruel.
Copy !req
1085. I mourned you for three months.
Copy !req
1086. And in the third month of mourning you . . .
Copy !req
1087. . . . I tracked you down.
Copy !req
1088. I wasn't tryin' to track you down.
Copy !req
1089. I was tryin' to track down
the fucking assholes I thought killed you.
Copy !req
1090. So I find you . . .
Copy !req
1091. . . . and what do I find?
Copy !req
1092. Not only are you not dead . . .
Copy !req
1093. . . .you're getting married
to some fucking jerk.
Copy !req
1094. And you're pregnant.
Copy !req
1095. I overreacted.
Copy !req
1096. You overreacted?
Is that your explanation?
Copy !req
1097. I didn't say I was gonna explain myself.
Copy !req
1098. I said I was gonna tell you the truth.
Copy !req
1099. But if that's too cryptic, let's get literal.
Copy !req
1100. I'm a killer.
Copy !req
1101. I'm a murdering bastard.
You know that.
Copy !req
1102. And there are consequences . . .
Copy !req
1103. . . .to breaking the heart
of a murdering bastard.
Copy !req
1104. You experienced some of them.
Copy !req
1105. Was my reaction really that surprising?
Copy !req
1106. Yes. It was.
Copy !req
1107. Could you do what you did?
Copy !req
1108. Of course you could.
Copy !req
1109. But I never thought you would,
or could, do that to me.
Copy !req
1110. I'm really sorry, Kiddo . . .
Copy !req
1111. . . . but you thought wrong.
Copy !req
1112. You and I have unfinished business.
Copy !req
1113. Baby . . . you ain't kiddin'.
Copy !req
1114. Pai Mei taught you the Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique?
Copy !req
1115. 'Course he did.
Copy !req
1116. Why didn't you tell me?
Copy !req
1117. I don't know.
Copy !req
1118. Because I'm . . .
Copy !req
1119. . . .a bad person.
Copy !req
1120. No.
Copy !req
1121. You're not a bad person.
Copy !req
1122. You're a terrific person.
Copy !req
1123. You're my favorite person.
Copy !req
1124. But every once in a while . . .
Copy !req
1125. . . .you can be a real cunt.
Copy !req
1126. How do I look?
Copy !req
1127. You look ready.
Copy !req
1128. Well, well, well.
If it ain't the little flower.
Copy !req
1129. Good evening, Mr. And Mrs.
America and all the ships at sea.
Copy !req
1130. Let's go to press. Flash.
Copy !req
1131. Do you have a magpie in your home?
Copy !req
1132. If you do, you are most fortunate.
Copy !req
1133. The magpie is the most
charming bird in all the world.
Copy !req
1134. He is the best friend a farmer ever had.
Copy !req
1135. Treat him gently.
Treat him kindly.
Copy !req
1136. And always remember,
the magpie deserves your respect.
Copy !req
1137. Thank you.
Copy !req
1138. Thank you.
Thank you.
Copy !req
1139. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
1140. Now, I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do.
Copy !req
1141. (man) I ain't got no headache.
Copy !req
1142. Oh yes you have, brother.
Copy !req
1143. And, action!
Copy !req
1144. Cut.
Copy !req
1145. Oh, come on.
Let's do it again.
Copy !req