1. Did your brother say he was
joining us for lunch?Copy !req
2. Yeah.
He said maybe.Copy !req
3. What is that? What?Copy !req
4. What is going on? Do you feel that?Copy !req
5. I feel shaky.Copy !req
6. Headquarters.Copy !req
7. A what?Copy !req
8. Come in here.Copy !req
9. All right.
How's that smoke? Good?
All right.Copy !req
10. Here we go.
Full tight on the monster.
Rolling.Copy !req
11. Is me being
pulled in only that much
to the table, it's fine?Copy !req
12. But the main thing
is we need to hide
your body more.Copy !req
13. Wee Man! Whoa!
Wee Man!Copy !req
14. Fucking look!
Wee Man, right there!Copy !req
15. Ow!Copy !req
16. Oh!Copy !req
17. There! Fire!Copy !req
18. What?Copy !req
19. Whoo!Copy !req
20. Fire this way!Copy !req
21. Fire! Shoot it!Copy !req
22. Oh... settle down, big fella.Copy !req
23. This is all just a big
misunderstanding.Copy !req
24. We can work this out
like pals.Copy !req
25. Settle! Settle! Set—Copy !req
26. Oh, no! Oh, no!Copy !req
27. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
Welcome to Jackass!Copy !req
28. Hey. Steve-O,
how does it feel to be on set
20 years later?Copy !req
29. Man, it's uh...Copy !req
30. it's pretty heavy, dude.Copy !req
31. You think about
how the last movie had,
like, the credits,Copy !req
32. which showed us when
we first started and it was
ten years later...Copy !req
33. Yeah. And now
it's another ten years.Copy !req
34. I gotta say, I look great,
though.Copy !req
35. You look 20 millions...Copy !req
36. Yeah.Copy !req
37. That's how my dogs
jumped up on the...Copy !req
38. The big one lays down
and the little one
gets on top there.Copy !req
39. Lance.Copy !req
40. Oh, my God!Copy !req
41. Yeah! Poopies! Poopies!Copy !req
42. That was really uncool.Copy !req
43. Do you feel the vibration?Copy !req
44. Wow! Oh, shit!Copy !req
45. Hi, I'm Preston Lacy.
This is a human ramp.Copy !req
46. That's Dave Gravette.
Come on, we gotta go.Copy !req
47. Fuck, we gotta go.Copy !req
48. Someone's being
a little dramatic.Copy !req
49. Come on.
Oh, my God,
we gotta go.Copy !req
50. Here he goes.Copy !req
51. He's coming!Copy !req
52. Here, watch this. There he is.Copy !req
53. Brace yourselves.Copy !req
54. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
55. Oh, God! You all right?Copy !req
56. Yeah!Copy !req
57. Wow!Copy !req
58. You're not filming
my bald spot
are you?Copy !req
59. No, no, no.Copy !req
60. You all right?Copy !req
61. God damn it,
is that why you
put that camera...?Copy !req
62. No more bald spot!Copy !req
63. All right, here we go!Copy !req
64. Oh!Copy !req
65. Shit!Copy !req
66. Oh, my... Oh, what happened?Copy !req
67. Oh, man, fuck this.
I gotta just
get up and walk this off.Copy !req
68. Yeah!Copy !req
69. Oh!Copy !req
70. Backfire!Copy !req
71. You look like
the Kool-Aid man.Copy !req
72. It's time to introduce
Zach Holmes and say goodbye
to the human ramp.Copy !req
73. Goodbye, human ramp!Copy !req
74. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
75. We're gonna fuckin' die!Copy !req
76. Two, one...Copy !req
77. Whoa!Copy !req
78. Oh!Copy !req
79. All right! Oh, my God.Copy !req
80. Man falling.Copy !req
81. Holy shit! Yes! Fuck yes!Copy !req
82. Oh, my God! Oh, my God, yes!Copy !req
83. I'm so glad I put this—Copy !req
84. Oh!Copy !req
85. That was awesome.Copy !req
86. I don't think Preston's okay.Copy !req
87. Motherfucker!Copy !req
88. Oh, dude, my back.
That hurt so bad.Copy !req
89. Oh, my God.Copy !req
90. Well done, Preston.Copy !req
91. All right,
my name's Johnny Knoxville.Copy !req
92. Welcome to the dum dum game.Copy !req
93. Oh! I'm— I'm sorry, dude.Copy !req
94. Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
95. I—Copy !req
96. My hand
hit the button!Copy !req
97. Oh, my God!Copy !req
98. Oh!Copy !req
99. Is that...Copy !req
100. Fuck!Copy !req
101. God!Copy !req
102. Dick pain hurts.Copy !req
103. All right,
let's play this game.Copy !req
104. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
welcome to
the dum dum game.Copy !req
105. Our lucky contestants
are going to be answering
trivia questions.Copy !req
106. All these questions are on
a fourth-grade level.Copy !req
107. If you get them right,
you're safe and in the clear,Copy !req
108. and if you get them wrong...Copy !req
109. Oh, boy!Copy !req
110. Last man standing
is the winner.Copy !req
111. Okay, first question.
Poopies.Copy !req
112. "Jenny has two plates
of 12 cookies.Copy !req
113. Frank has four plates
of six cookies.Copy !req
114. Who has more cookies?"Copy !req
115. Jen!Copy !req
116. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
117. I can't do math!Copy !req
118. I'll remember that
on my next question,
Poopies.Copy !req
119. I won't—Yeah, thanks, Johnny.Copy !req
120. Dude!Copy !req
121. Okay, Ehren!Copy !req
122. Please spell the word
"dumbbell".Copy !req
123. "Dumbbell".Copy !req
124. D-u-m-b...Copy !req
125. What is it?Copy !req
126. D-u-m...Copy !req
127. b-e-I-I?Copy !req
128. Oh, God!Copy !req
129. Sorry, that was wrong.Copy !req
130. Don't be a dumbbell!Copy !req
131. Poopies. Who played the
piano on Elton John's album
Madman Across the Water?Copy !req
132. Um...Copy !req
133. What's his name?Copy !req
134. Elton.Copy !req
135. Elton John!Copy !req
136. Oh, that is correct!Copy !req
137. That is correct, Poopies.Copy !req
138. I didn't think
you were gonna get that one.Copy !req
139. At last,
see, you're doin' good!Copy !req
140. Yes! Way to go!Copy !req
141. Fuck, yeah.Copy !req
142. Wee Man, question:Copy !req
143. "What family of instruments
does the piano belong to?"Copy !req
144. S...Copy !req
145. Strings.Copy !req
146. It's a percussion instrument!Copy !req
147. I was gonna say that!Copy !req
148. I'm sorry, Wee Man,
but you're out.Copy !req
149. All right.
Good for me. Some integrity on that.Copy !req
150. Poopies, if you get
this next question wrong
Ehren, unfortunately, wins.Copy !req
151. "If a square
is five inches tall
and five inches wide,Copy !req
152. what is the area?"Copy !req
153. Ten inches direct... around.Copy !req
154. I'm sorry, Poopies,
but that is wrong!Copy !req
155. Ehren, I'm sorry,
I hit the wrong button.Copy !req
156. But Poopies, that was wrong.Copy !req
157. Fuck this shit.
I'm outta here! Fuck it!Copy !req
158. Ehren!
Ehren is the winner!
Ehren won!Copy !req
159. Yeah!Copy !req
160. Ehren is the winner!Copy !req
161. Oh, yes!Copy !req
162. Oh, my God.Copy !req
163. Yeah, that rang my bell!Copy !req
164. I took a huge shit
in there too.Copy !req
165. Oh, my... Whoo!Copy !req
166. So today we're gonna bring
the cast into this room
two at a timeCopy !req
167. because they think I'm doing
a rattlesnake stunt.Copy !req
168. But that's just a ruse
to get them in here
so we can lock the door,Copy !req
169. turn out the lights,
and make their life
a living hell.Copy !req
170. This is silence of the lambs.Copy !req
171. Dave England,
Ehren McGhehey...Copy !req
172. We have Jules here.
Are you excited? Jules, the snake guy.Copy !req
173. I'm out. See you guys. Come on, Ehren!Copy !req
174. You guys are just
peanut gallery for this.Copy !req
175. He's got a western
diamondback rattlesnake.Copy !req
176. He's going to release it
on the ground.Copy !req
177. Pontius is gonna take a cookie
and set in on its head.Copy !req
178. And then, I'm going to try and
take the cookie off its head.Copy !req
179. This western diamondback
rattlesnake
is very, very venomous.Copy !req
180. He will bite you if you get
too close to him and
he will kill you, or try to.Copy !req
181. I'm not kidding. Well, let's look at it.Copy !req
182. Oh, my God! Oh, shit!Copy !req
183. Oh, my God.Copy !req
184. Fuck this, man.Copy !req
185. Can you feel my heart?Copy !req
186. Wow, dude! All right.Copy !req
187. It's going as fast
as that rattlesnake.Copy !req
188. That's why
I won't do this.I did your part.Copy !req
189. I'm really scared for Johnny
right now.Copy !req
190. All right.
Let's put the snake away
and get these guys mic'd.Copy !req
191. It's time to do this.Copy !req
192. Big ass snake.Copy !req
193. Oh, I know.Copy !req
194. All right, switch the bucket.Copy !req
195. Let's get the snake
out of the room.Copy !req
196. Is there an "antidope" here?Copy !req
197. It's getting Knoxville
for me.Copy !req
198. That's what it's called,
anti-venom, not "antidope".Copy !req
199. What's "antidope" mean?
I don't even know.Copy !req
200. Johnny Knoxville. They're coming in right now.Copy !req
201. All right. You guys ready?Copy !req
202. What's "antidope"?Copy !req
203. That's like—Copy !req
204. Oh, my fucking God!Copy !req
205. No! No!Copy !req
206. God damn! Oh, fuck you guys!Copy !req
207. How— why are we the only ones
in here now?Copy !req
208. I don't know, dude.Copy !req
209. Doggone it! What?Copy !req
210. Shit! Hello, my name
is Johnny Knoxville.Copy !req
211. Welcome to hell!Copy !req
212. Oh, fuck. Fucking
rattlesnake in here.Copy !req
213. Ehren, what are you
doing? Don't use me
as a human shield!Copy !req
214. So if we get bit we die.Copy !req
215. Are you serious?Copy !req
216. This is so fucked up!
I knew this was going to
fucking happen.Copy !req
217. Why the fuck did we go down
to the basement?Copy !req
218. Come on!Copy !req
219. Knox, what the fuck? Come on.Copy !req
220. Come on!Copy !req
221. What the fuck!Copy !req
222. Dude, what the hell?Copy !req
223. What the fuck! No, stop!I knew this was
going to happen!Copy !req
224. Stop! Stop! Oh!
Fuck, you guys, dude!Copy !req
225. P, where are you?Copy !req
226. I'm gonna break
that fucking door down.Copy !req
227. Do it, Ehren.Copy !req
228. Did they just—Copy !req
229. Fuck this shit!
Ah, fuck you guys!Copy !req
230. Fuck it, get the fuck
outta here!Copy !req
231. All right,
now go for the bucket
and cue the snake sound.Copy !req
232. Oh, shit!Copy !req
233. Ahh!Copy !req
234. Oh, oh, shit. Oh, my God!Copy !req
235. It might—
Guys, stay on the couch.Copy !req
236. The fuckin' snake.
Stay still.Copy !req
237. Oh, my fucking God. Hey, guys,
honestly, be fuckin' chill.Copy !req
238. Holy shit. This is not cool, seriously,
get me the fuck out of here.Copy !req
239. Oh, fuck off!Copy !req
240. There's the snake, Dave.Copy !req
241. Where are you, Ehren?
Ehren? Ehren?Copy !req
242. What the fuck! Ehren!Copy !req
243. How am I supposed to
even help you, Dave?Copy !req
244. I just need to know
you're there.Copy !req
245. Fuck this! Ehren!Copy !req
246. Oh, I got a weapon now,
motherfuckers.
I got a weapon.Copy !req
247. Don't hit me, Ehren.
Ehren! No, I got a weapon!Copy !req
248. Don't hit me! You fuckin'...Copy !req
249. Ehren, don't fuckin'
not answer me.Copy !req
250. They're knifin' me.Copy !req
251. Fuck, there's the door.
Dave over here!Copy !req
252. Dave, this way! Yeah, right!Copy !req
253. Dave, this way! Fuck that door.Copy !req
254. Fuck that. There's something
bad over there, probably!Copy !req
255. No, I promise!Copy !req
256. No,
you don't know shit!Copy !req
257. There's a door.
I just opened it.
I swear to God!Copy !req
258. Oh, wow, how convenient.Copy !req
259. Come this way, I swear to God,
I'm not lying to you.Copy !req
260. Fuck that door.You're on your own then,
fucker!Copy !req
261. Ahh, shit! Ahh!Copy !req
262. Ehren!Copy !req
263. What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
264. I can't even...
I can't even fucking do it.Copy !req
265. This is fucking scary.
Seriously,
this is fucked up.Copy !req
266. This is not cool, dude.Copy !req
267. Fuck! What the fuck! His head!Copy !req
268. Oh, my God! Fuck! Oh, fuck. What?Copy !req
269. Did I just get bit? Did you get bit?Copy !req
270. Dude, I got bit by
something!
What the fuck was that?Copy !req
271. Fuck! Jeff!
He got fuckin' bit! No way!Copy !req
272. Jeff, this is fuckin' unsafe. What the fuck,
there's no lights!Copy !req
273. Oh, my God, dude,
this is so fucked up.Copy !req
274. You got snake bit.
We got to get you
medical attention.Copy !req
275. Here. Come here.Copy !req
276. We got to get him
to the fucking medic.Copy !req
277. I'm gonna have
a fuckin'
heart attack, dude.Copy !req
278. Just, okay?
Just go straight.Copy !req
279. Okay? Okay.Copy !req
280. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!Copy !req
281. Motherfucker!Copy !req
282. Oh, I don't even know
where my glasses are.
What the fuck!Copy !req
283. Oh, great! Fucking awesome!Copy !req
284. What the fuck is this?Copy !req
285. Ah!Copy !req
286. Oh, holy shit!Copy !req
287. Motherfuckin—Copy !req
288. Oh, my God! Ow! Fucking bitch!Copy !req
289. Lights on. Lights on.
Come on.Copy !req
290. Zach, you all right?Copy !req
291. Holy shit... I cleared
the fucking thing!Copy !req
292. I heard Zach, it sounded like
he's getting murdered in here.Copy !req
293. I thought this was like
the only way to get out.Copy !req
294. So I just climbed over it.Copy !req
295. And then, it broke.Copy !req
296. Let Ehren out.Copy !req
297. Let me out.Copy !req
298. Can we go outside now?No, we're done, we're done.
We're done.Copy !req
299. No, we're not. God.Copy !req
300. The rest of my life I'm gonna
have nightmares, dude.Copy !req
301. I wanna go now.
Open that fuckin' door.Copy !req
302. Go out that one.
This one is locked.Copy !req
303. No, fuck you!Copy !req
304. I'll start a new life in here.Copy !req
305. I will start...Copy !req
306. I will fuckin' live here.Copy !req
307. How does this look?Copy !req
308. It's fuckin'... lubed up.Copy !req
309. Are we sponsored by Glide?Copy !req
310. No. Not yet.Copy !req
311. Just say,
"This is body surfing",
we don't need an intro.Copy !req
312. Do you guys agree?I wanna say my name.Copy !req
313. All right,
say your name. This is Zach.Copy !req
314. I'm Jasper.
And this is bodysurfing,
motherfucker.Copy !req
315. Fuck, fuck!Copy !req
316. No, no, no!
No, Jasper, no, no!Copy !req
317. No! No!Copy !req
318. Bye-bye, Jasper! Oh, shit,
he's hauling ass!Copy !req
319. That was great. The rocks hurt.Copy !req
320. I am Poopies.
Big time movie star.Copy !req
321. And today,
we're big wave surfing.Copy !req
322. Oh, he got knocked off.Copy !req
323. He has no arms.Copy !req
324. Dude, you have no arms? Shit.Copy !req
325. Oh, that sucks.Copy !req
326. And then came the
heartbreaking newsCopy !req
327. that horses don't have arms.Copy !req
328. I am Eric Manaka,
and this is a horse race.Copy !req
329. Put your hat on
and go, man.My eyes!Copy !req
330. Oh, God.Copy !req
331. Run, run.Copy !req
332. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
333. This is perfect. Oh, God.Copy !req
334. Oh! Eric, all back.Copy !req
335. Is he okay?
He's not moving.Copy !req
336. Well, he can't.
His arms are trapped.Copy !req
337. That fucking hurt.Copy !req
338. Two, one, go!Copy !req
339. We're going the wrong way.Copy !req
340. We're going the wrong—Copy !req
341. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
342. Oh, shit.Copy !req
343. Oh, my God.Copy !req
344. Oh, he's nuts!Copy !req
345. Oh!Copy !req
346. Oh, my God.Copy !req
347. Holy shit! Dude!Copy !req
348. That's crazy.Copy !req
349. Oh, my God.
I'm not doing that again.Copy !req
350. This guy's one
badass dude right here.Copy !req
351. I love you, dude.Copy !req
352. That is sick.Copy !req
353. You showed us how to surf.Copy !req
354. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
355. Dude, I don't look
that good, man.Copy !req
356. Oh, shit.Copy !req
357. All right,
take off the lid.Copy !req
358. Tap that right
over the top of it.Copy !req
359. Ooh! Ow! One got me already!Copy !req
360. Ah, ah!Copy !req
361. Ow! Gosh damn!Copy !req
362. Oh.
Here comes the queen.Copy !req
363. Oh, yeah.
Looking for her king.Copy !req
364. Jesus Christ, dude.
This is fucking wild.Copy !req
365. I was like, "Yeah, cool,
let's do this."Copy !req
366. This little brown box
has the Queen Bee in it.Copy !req
367. Apparently,
she's pretty important.Copy !req
368. And that's going to attract
the other bees
to the Queen, right?Copy !req
369. Yes. Oh, boy.Copy !req
370. There's a lot of bees,
Steve-O.Copy !req
371. Just remember,
don't pinch between his balls
and those bees, 'cause...Copy !req
372. he'll feel it real quickly.Copy !req
373. Dude, relax.
Poopies relax, dog.
Relax, man.Copy !req
374. Poopies just got stung.Copy !req
375. Can we add all the bees
or is it better to go...Copy !req
376. You gotta kinda gently
put 'em up.Copy !req
377. Watch out. Move your
hands, Steve-O.Copy !req
378. Oh, shit.Copy !req
379. Ah. Aaaah! Ooooh!Copy !req
380. What? What?Copy !req
381. God, my fucking dick got one.
Oooooh!Copy !req
382. Oooooh!Copy !req
383. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
384. Put 'em right up there
on top of it.Copy !req
385. They're really
latching on now, Steve-O.Copy !req
386. It's working,
it's working.Copy !req
387. It's going good,
Steve-O.Copy !req
388. Oh, boy, that—
they're really...Copy !req
389. Oh, goddamn it.Copy !req
390. Give them a little bridge.Copy !req
391. There you go,
find your mommy.Copy !req
392. There's a lot of them
right in like the
taint area.Copy !req
393. Your whole Zen
approach to staying calmCopy !req
394. is really working, Steve-O.Copy !req
395. That yoga's
really been helping.Copy !req
396. Meditating.Copy !req
397. Ooh!
Around the table.Copy !req
398. It's gonna make you
look good, Steve-O.Copy !req
399. Yeah,
it's adding length.Copy !req
400. It's kinda like
Mr. Snuffleupagus. Okay.Copy !req
401. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
402. Oooh. Oooh.Copy !req
403. Are you good, O? Ahhh!Copy !req
404. It moves when you move.Copy !req
405. It's wiggling.
It's wiggling.Copy !req
406. Wiggle! The best thing to do
is take off running, Steve-O.Copy !req
407. Lay down, Steve-O.
Just take off running.Copy !req
408. Run, Steve-O.
That's the only way
the bees won't sting you.Copy !req
409. I got a fucking
ballsack full
of bee stingers, dude.Copy !req
410. Yeah, I got a fucking
bunch of them.Copy !req
411. Oh, Jesus. Oh.Copy !req
412. Hello, my name
is Irving Zisman,Copy !req
413. and this is my
good-for-nothing
granddaughterCopy !req
414. and our not-so-handy
handyman, Zach.Copy !req
415. Today we're gonna do a little
furniture shopping.Copy !req
416. Hey, do you guys
think this looks straight,
or is it sorta,Copy !req
417. it's like if it was... I think you would have to—Copy !req
418. if you would hang the top
left side,Copy !req
419. I could tell if it's straight
or not 'cause...Copy !req
420. Oh, okay,
for sure.Copy !req
421. Is everything on sale?Copy !req
422. Right now, I'm just doing
the pillows.
They're half price, but...Copy !req
423. Oh, okay, thank you. But I'm sure everything
might be on sale.Copy !req
424. Okay.Copy !req
425. What is this over here?Copy !req
426. Oh. This is pretty good.Copy !req
427. A fella could have a pretty
good time on this.Copy !req
428. Hey, can you hand me
the black tape over there?Copy !req
429. Oh, my God.Copy !req
430. Oh, my God.Copy !req
431. What the hell happened?Copy !req
432. Ow! Are you okay?Copy !req
433. I went up high
as a moose's caboose.Copy !req
434. Oh, my God.Copy !req
435. Oh, my God. Did you do that?Copy !req
436. I am so sorry. It's literally
my second day on the job.
I fell off.Copy !req
437. You tried to take
advantage of a defenseless
old man?Copy !req
438. Grandpa, are you okay?Copy !req
439. I was attacked.Copy !req
440. He went higher than that roof.
He went all the way
up in there.Copy !req
441. What?
See this thing right here.Copy !req
442. Your grandfather
just sat on it and laid back.
This guy, he fell down,Copy !req
443. and he knocked
your grandfather
through the roof.Copy !req
444. Jesus,
he does this shit
all the time.Copy !req
445. I am Rob Dyrdek, and this
is musical chair bags.Copy !req
446. Incredible fine young men,
new talent, war dogs.Copy !req
447. War dogs, new talent.
One of them is about to get
blown sky high.Copy !req
448. The rest are gonna get
really lucky
and just sit comfortably.Copy !req
449. Our DJ for the day is
Miss Rachel Wolfson.Copy !req
450. Wee Man's going to space.Copy !req
451. Ah, shit.Wow.Copy !req
452. Man, Wee Man. I am sorry, man.Copy !req
453. How many times
do we get to play?Copy !req
454. Oh, this is probably a one'r. Oh, it is.Copy !req
455. Shit.Copy !req
456. I am loving
the energy, fellas.Copy !req
457. Keep it up, nice twirl. The happiness.Copy !req
458. Oh, shit. Get in it.Copy !req
459. And let's keep going.Copy !req
460. Oh, find your chairs!Copy !req
461. One more time!Copy !req
462. What happened
to the dance?Copy !req
463. Just do it already. Wee Man is not happy.Copy !req
464. He's not happy.Copy !req
465. Wee Man, come on!
Put some spirit in it.Copy !req
466. I'm spiriting it. Yeah.Copy !req
467. Fuck it.Copy !req
468. Oh!Copy !req
469. Oh, my God.Copy !req
470. Holy fuck.Copy !req
471. Oh, God.Copy !req
472. Oh, man. What happened to you?Copy !req
473. I believe he shot up
and into the hole.Copy !req
474. Wee Man flipped.
How did you go backwards?Copy !req
475. We have our champion.Copy !req
476. I landed on all that shit.Copy !req
477. Look at the safety
precautions.Copy !req
478. I thought we were supposed
to have pads on the tubes
and the metal.Copy !req
479. We forgot that detail.Copy !req
480. Once upon a time,
lived a father and sonCopy !req
481. imprisoned on the
island of Crete.Copy !req
482. Tired of life in the joint,
the father had the son
gather up feathersCopy !req
483. that were lying around
the cell and he made them
both wings.Copy !req
484. And they went off to
escape the island of Crete
forever.Copy !req
485. But there's that one thing
they left out
of the ancient myth.Copy !req
486. The cannon.Copy !req
487. Hello, I am Johnny Knoxville
and this is
the flight of Icarus.Copy !req
488. And if you think
we're wearing underpants
under these tunics,Copy !req
489. you're sadly mistaken,
my friend.Copy !req
490. Mmm, mmm.A little something for ya?Copy !req
491. They should just point it
straight up.Copy !req
492. Either way it goes,
he's gonna land in this lake.Copy !req
493. How big of an angle is
it gonna be?Copy !req
494. Oh, God,
they're going to
make it bad.Copy !req
495. Oh, God, I can't take it! Shit, man.Copy !req
496. Man, that's steep. Holy shit, Knox.Copy !req
497. In ten, nine, eight,Copy !req
498. seven, six, five, four,Copy !req
499. three, two, one. Whooo!Copy !req
500. Yes!Copy !req
501. I felt like I got a 200-pound
colonic up my ass. Oh, my God.Copy !req
502. You flew like an angel.Copy !req
503. Unfortunately,
young Icarus
got a little bit cocky,Copy !req
504. and sure enough flew
too close to the sun.Copy !req
505. And fell to his doom.Copy !req
506. Ooooh!Copy !req
507. That was rad, dude. There's blood
on the elbows.Copy !req
508. Yeah, attaboy.Copy !req
509. Good job, man.
Fucking right on, dude.Copy !req
510. Your legs okay? Yeah.Copy !req
511. Good job.Copy !req
512. This is the quiet game.Copy !req
513. The object of this game
is to remain completely
silent. How was that?Copy !req
514. Do we all understand
the rules and we're not
gonna make any noise?Copy !req
515. All right,
well, let's get started.Copy !req
516. Rachel, your challenge in
the quiet game is to lick
the electric lollipop.Copy !req
517. Are you ready?Copy !req
518. Jesus.Copy !req
519. Whooooaaah!Copy !req
520. Our first mime
did really well.Copy !req
521. Oh, yeah. Way to go.Copy !req
522. Yeah!Copy !req
523. Bar's been set.
You'll be hard to beat. Damn!Copy !req
524. For our next challenge,
our friend Jules hereCopy !req
525. is going to help Poopies
kiss this deadly viper.Copy !req
526. What kind of snake is it?Copy !req
527. It's a Texas Rat Snake.Copy !req
528. He's a feisty
little bugger.
How you feeling, Poopies?Copy !req
529. Is that venomous?Copy !req
530. Eh.Copy !req
531. We ready?Copy !req
532. Go, go, go. Go in for the kiss.Copy !req
533. You have to get in
closer.Copy !req
534. Closer. Closer, closer.Copy !req
535. Up and down,
up and down. Up and down.Copy !req
536. You know you don't—
You need to stay. Stay!Copy !req
537. Give him a kiss.Copy !req
538. Move your head. Closer.Copy !req
539. Move your head. Closer.Copy !req
540. Here it comes,
here it comes.Copy !req
541. Oh, my God.One more.Copy !req
542. Get another one,
get another one.Copy !req
543. Go again.
We didn't get it.Copy !req
544. Come on, Poopies,
you need to go again, dude.Copy !req
545. Oh, my God.Copy !req
546. Work, work.
You got this.You can do it.Copy !req
547. Right there.
Touch his tail.Copy !req
548. Do it, come on, man.Copy !req
549. Come on, man. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
550. A little kissy.Copy !req
551. Here it goes.Copy !req
552. Oh!Copy !req
553. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
554. Rachel and Poopies
laying down the gauntlet
on Steve-O.Copy !req
555. I gotta save you!Copy !req
556. I am saving you.Copy !req
557. I gotta save Jeff.Copy !req
558. Oh! Ow!Copy !req
559. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
560. I have one on me.Copy !req
561. I couldn't get it out.Copy !req
562. So, confidence
is very, very highCopy !req
563. with our third contestant,
Steve-O,Copy !req
564. for the skateboard guillotine.Copy !req
565. Wow.Copy !req
566. He's talking smack.Copy !req
567. Some mime shit talking
over there.Copy !req
568. Huh?Copy !req
569. All the way.Copy !req
570. All the way?Copy !req
571. He's bold.Wow.Copy !req
572. He's very cocky,
this guy. Get your feet up.Copy !req
573. All right, on three!Copy !req
574. Aaaaah!Copy !req
575. I forgot
to be fucking
quiet, dude.Copy !req
576. Aaaaah!Copy !req
577. Well, we have our winners,
and we have Steve-O.Copy !req
578. Zackass,
he's a real wild, crazy guy.Copy !req
579. He's a gnarly superstar.Copy !req
580. Zackass.Copy !req
581. There's nothing
he won't do. Zackass.Copy !req
582. He'll jump in cactus for you.Copy !req
583. Oh!Copy !req
584. While we all stand and laugh.
Go, go, Zach!Copy !req
585. The Jackass
guys are getting old,
we paid our dues,Copy !req
586. so we're handing the torch
to you.Copy !req
587. All right.Copy !req
588. Man, that was good.Copy !req
589. What are you going to be
doing today?Copy !req
590. Hit somebody in the nuts.Copy !req
591. Francis hits harder than
any heavyweight in the MMA.
It's insane.Copy !req
592. Does Ehren know this?Copy !req
593. No, I told Ehren it was
a lightweight.Copy !req
594. I didn't tell him it was
a heavyweight. Jeff and I
forgot to mention that.Copy !req
595. All right,
he's coming, guys.Copy !req
596. That's not a fucking
lightweight. What are you guys
talking about? What? No!Copy !req
597. What's going on here?
You guys can't...Copy !req
598. Almost 20 years ago today
we filmed
the original cup test.Copy !req
599. Hi, I am Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the cup test.Copy !req
600. Oh!Copy !req
601. Oh!Copy !req
602. Oh!Copy !req
603. And now, 20 years later,
we're still doing
the same stupid shit.Copy !req
604. This is the cup test.Copy !req
605. Ah!Copy !req
606. I love how you're just
smiling at him.Copy !req
607. I just Googled
the hardest punch
ever recorded.Copy !req
608. Francis
Ngannou's punch isCopy !req
609. the equivalent of being hit
by a Ford Escort
at top speed.Copy !req
610. His punch is the equivalent—Wait. You don't need
to read that now.Copy !req
611. You're about to be hit
by a car, Ehren.Copy !req
612. All right, fight fans.Copy !req
613. Oh!Copy !req
614. Did you hear something break? Yeah, I heard this crack.
I thought it was the cup.Copy !req
615. Is that the hardest
you've ever hit someone
in the ding ding?Copy !req
616. Oh, yeah. Because
I've never hit somebody
in the ding ding on purpose.Copy !req
617. Eric, what's about to
go down here?Copy !req
618. Ehren's gonna get the world's
fastest softball pitcher.Copy !req
619. She's gonna like,
pitch a softball
at his balls.Copy !req
620. Oh!Copy !req
621. We ain't a fucking
bunch of NASA scientists over
here, you know what I mean?Copy !req
622. This ain't a Mensa convention.
We're getting down and dirty!Copy !req
623. I am Danger Ehren,
and this is the softball test.Copy !req
624. Let's do it.Copy !req
625. Play ball!Copy !req
626. She can't wait to hit him
in the dick.Copy !req
627. Oh!Copy !req
628. That was all thigh.Copy !req
629. Don't turn!
That would have hit him!Copy !req
630. You turned into—Copy !req
631. What, you can't quit
already!Copy !req
632. That would have
hit him!Copy !req
633. That would have hit you
in the ding-dingCopy !req
634. and you would have been done
for the day.Copy !req
635. It's a softball.Copy !req
636. There's nothing soft
about this fucking ball,Copy !req
637. it's just bigger.Copy !req
638. She keeps hitting him
in the same exact spot.Copy !req
639. You're moving, dude!
Why'd you move?Copy !req
640. I don't know!Copy !req
641. Don't hang brains out
of the side—Copy !req
642. I'm not trying to,
but it keeps slipping around.Copy !req
643. Well, you're wearing it
backwards, or upside-down.Copy !req
644. I don't need physics
from you guys right now.Copy !req
645. Physics.Copy !req
646. Fuck, yeah! Let's go!Copy !req
647. Oh, God!Copy !req
648. Ehren!Copy !req
649. What the fuck, dude!Copy !req
650. No, no, no, time out!Copy !req
651. Hey, Ehren, no joke,
you're fucked.Copy !req
652. You're done.Copy !req
653. I'm here with professional
hockey player P.K. Subban.Copy !req
654. This is the hockey cup test.Copy !req
655. Yeah!Copy !req
656. Come on!Copy !req
657. P.K. That was about
85 miles per hour.Copy !req
658. Oh, shit, man.
That fucking knocked me out.Copy !req
659. What the fuck, man.
That was insane.Copy !req
660. P.K.Now I'm gonna go
for your nuts.Copy !req
661. Oh, God.Copy !req
662. Fuck you, Ehren!Copy !req
663. We got him!Copy !req
664. That a boy!Copy !req
665. We got the "whambulance"
coming for you if you don't
get to this next bit.Copy !req
666. Hey, I'll tell you right now,
if the jokes continueCopy !req
667. I will stand up
and walk away.Copy !req
668. He's going to
take his nuts
and go home?Copy !req
669. Sneak up on it. Teasing. He's teasing.Copy !req
670. Whoa!Copy !req
671. Perfect!Copy !req
672. Oh! Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
673. Oh, dude!Copy !req
674. His nuts are bleeding.
We got blood.Copy !req
675. Dude. I'm sorry, dude.Copy !req
676. Fuck, this cup sucked.Copy !req
677. This is the worst
cup of them all.Copy !req
678. I'm starting to think
those cups don't work, dude.Copy !req
679. That cup sucks.Copy !req
680. Yeah, it slipped down
and pinned
your nuts to the ground.Copy !req
681. Oh, my God!Copy !req
682. Fuck, dude.Copy !req
683. Oh. Ooh!Copy !req
684. Lance?Copy !req
685. How you doing, Lance?Copy !req
686. Let me have your
camera, Lance.Copy !req
687. Can I get another mask?Copy !req
688. Can Lance
get another mask?Copy !req
689. You guys got any predictions
who we might get today
with this?Copy !req
690. I'm worried, like we've
been hitting the guysCopy !req
691. pretty hard all week so...Copy !req
692. their nerves are
pretty well shot.Copy !req
693. If they do trust us
to go to the bathroom today,Copy !req
694. they're pretty...Copy !req
695. They're pretty less
intelligent than I thought.Copy !req
696. We're gonna build
Cobra Kai DojosCopy !req
697. all over this valley. Hell yeah, we are.Copy !req
698. I haven't seen it yet.
I haven't seen-I'm gonna watch it.Copy !req
699. Miyagi, Miyagi's Dojo—Copy !req
700. Wee Man would totally
be a Cobra Kai.Copy !req
701. He's not even
worried about it.Copy !req
702. Cobra Kai rules.Copy !req
703. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
704. Oh.Wow!Copy !req
705. What happened?I don't know, dude.Copy !req
706. Oh, my God.I was trying to take a shit.Copy !req
707. Even with an outbreak
you're still blowing
people up.Copy !req
708. As if life
is not hard enough.Copy !req
709. To fart or not to fart.
That is the question.Copy !req
710. Well, I hope to...Copy !req
711. 'cause we've been trying
to get this bit for 14 years,Copy !req
712. trying to light
a fart underwater.Copy !req
713. Since Jackass Number Two.Copy !req
714. Get your fucking
ass up there.Copy !req
715. Just let me do it, okay?Copy !req
716. Oh, God.I didn't mean to do that.Copy !req
717. Who didn't see
that coming?Copy !req
718. I'm very excited
because we are lightingCopy !req
719. the first ever
fart underwater.Copy !req
720. And Tory Belleci
is here todayCopy !req
721. to help us achieve our dream.Copy !req
722. It's good to have dreams.Copy !req
723. All right, so, somebody
is going to sit in the tankCopy !req
724. and when they fart,Copy !req
725. that glass dome is our
fart catcher, inside there,Copy !req
726. we have a little
bit of oxygen and a spark.Copy !req
727. And so hopefully,
once that methane gasCopy !req
728. gets caught in there,
it will ignite,Copy !req
729. and we'll get the underwater
exploding fart.Copy !req
730. Yo, Steve-O, are you ready? You ready to make history?Copy !req
731. I'm ready to get in there
and just see what happens.Copy !req
732. Oh, my goodness,
we're about to make historyCopy !req
733. with Steve-O.Copy !req
734. Okay, make sure
his feet look good.Copy !req
735. Ready? Yeah, I'm ready.Copy !req
736. It's in there, man. Remember to give us
a countdown.Copy !req
737. It's in there.Copy !req
738. How was work today, honey?Copy !req
739. I know
I'm gonna get it.Copy !req
740. Just relax.Copy !req
741. Ooooh!Copy !req
742. We got a fart!Copy !req
743. Oh, that was a huge one.Copy !req
744. Wow. They're like ten, dude. They're perfect bombs.Copy !req
745. There's not enough
methane in his fart.Copy !req
746. The spark in that bowl
is going nonstop though,Copy !req
747. so we just need to catch
enough farts.Copy !req
748. Oooh!Copy !req
749. The farts
aren't igniting.Copy !req
750. We need an open flame. Yeah, bring it in.Copy !req
751. This won't hurt a bit.Copy !req
752. Come on, O.Copy !req
753. There it goes. Catch it.Copy !req
754. Yeah. Get it. Get it!Copy !req
755. What was that?
Was that it? Was that it?Copy !req
756. Yes! Dude!Copy !req
757. I'm not a fucking
scientist, man,Copy !req
758. but that sounded pretty sweet.Copy !req
759. How did that explode?Copy !req
760. The spark in the fart
catcher exploded it.Copy !req
761. That fucking
really rocked my balls.
That's for sure.Copy !req
762. All right, Jaws, you ready?Copy !req
763. Three.Copy !req
764. Two.Copy !req
765. One.Copy !req
766. Jesus Christ!I got you.Copy !req
767. What the fuck!Copy !req
768. Dude, I was like,
"Catch him."Copy !req
769. Wow. Are you okay?Copy !req
770. Yeah. Yeah?Copy !req
771. Dude... Where were you?Copy !req
772. I'm just... I...Copy !req
773. Where were you?Copy !req
774. What's going on, Jasper?Copy !req
775. So today we got my dad,
Dark Shark on set and honestlyCopy !req
776. I don't think
he's gonna like it. Why not?Copy !req
777. So you know my dad,
ex-convict, ex-gang banger,Copy !req
778. doesn't fear anything
except for like,Copy !req
779. he kinda doesn't
like bugs or spiders,Copy !req
780. cats, dogs, basically anything
that's not normal to the hood.Copy !req
781. So we're gonna fuck
with him todayCopy !req
782. and it should be good.Copy !req
783. All right, this is Dark Shark,
our newest star, Jasper's dad.Copy !req
784. He's going to battle Ehren
in the spider helmet.Copy !req
785. You look scareder than me
and this is your shit.Copy !req
786. Shall we begin taping, fellas?Copy !req
787. I'm gonna fuck you up, man.
You supposed to be
having my back.Copy !req
788. Not too tight.I got you a job!Copy !req
789. Don't do it. I'm telling you.
I'm gonna flip
this chair over.Copy !req
790. I got you a job!Copy !req
791. If I flip the chair over,
that thing gonna bite meCopy !req
792. if I flip the chair over? No.Copy !req
793. No, you gotta be careful
with the spider.Copy !req
794. Can't hurt the spider.I'm just worried
about breathing, man.Copy !req
795. I don't even like
handcuffs on me no more.Copy !req
796. Dude, I don't think
we gotta—Copy !req
797. Okay.
We're gonna leave
the tape.Copy !req
798. You got it, dog.Copy !req
799. All right,
here we go, fellas.Copy !req
800. How is that? Oh shit,
hell, nah.Copy !req
801. Okay.
Oh, and by the way,
the loser has to takeCopy !req
802. the bite from the spider. What?Copy !req
803. Yeah.Copy !req
804. Jules, can you bring
in the spider? Love to.Copy !req
805. You got it, Dark Shark.
You got it, man.Copy !req
806. This one is
an absolute bastard.Copy !req
807. Oh, hell, nah.Copy !req
808. All right. Let's go.Copy !req
809. On the count of three.
One, two, three.Copy !req
810. Don't move,
Dark Shark.Copy !req
811. Dark Shark, stay down.Copy !req
812. Oh, shit!Copy !req
813. Chill, chill, chill!Copy !req
814. You got it, chill!Copy !req
815. It's not goin' touch you.Copy !req
816. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
817. Dark Shark,
why are you pulling on me?Copy !req
818. I think he passed out.Copy !req
819. Dark Shark,
you gotta let go!Copy !req
820. You gotta let go!
Sit down. Calm down.
There you go.Copy !req
821. Oh, my God.
Don't hurt the spider.Copy !req
822. Dark Shark,
if you let go of me
I will get the spider out.Copy !req
823. Who is that? It's Johnny.Copy !req
824. There you go.
We all day. Guess what?Copy !req
825. Okay, I'll get it.Copy !req
826. I'm gonna pull him out.Copy !req
827. He's out, he's out,
he's out. He's out!Copy !req
828. All right, we have our winner.Copy !req
829. Dark Shark!Copy !req
830. How the fuck
is he gonna be the winner?Copy !req
831. Oh, no. Get it off me.Copy !req
832. How is he the winner?Copy !req
833. Ehren has to take
a bite from the spider.Copy !req
834. I didn't do anything. Jesus. This man was brave.Copy !req
835. Brave? The spider went
in his helmet! Great job, Dark Shark.Copy !req
836. And I was like,
it was either my life
or yours.Copy !req
837. I was like, fuck your life.
I was like, man.Copy !req
838. I'm tapped out, out here
and still I was like,Copy !req
839. I feel like grabbing his ass.Copy !req
840. The bastard.Copy !req
841. So where should
it bite him?Copy !req
842. Just do it on my arm.
It's fine.Copy !req
843. Well... Have it crawl onto my arm.Copy !req
844. Nipples!I just won't do it.Copy !req
845. Nipple. I like nipple.
Nipple.Copy !req
846. Just give it, just do a boob.Copy !req
847. All right. Fine.Copy !req
848. Nipple, no.
Boob, sure.Copy !req
849. Is he
gonna bite him for real?Copy !req
850. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, your man titties
are looking dope.Copy !req
851. Oh, man.Copy !req
852. Oh, my God.
Look at his fangs.Copy !req
853. I don't wanna see the fangs.Copy !req
854. Make sure Ehren
sees the fangs.Copy !req
855. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait a minute!Copy !req
856. No, you, no.
Ehren lay down.Copy !req
857. Wait a minute. Oh, look at the venom!Copy !req
858. I'll show you
the venom while it's there. Yeah.Copy !req
859. Oh, my God.Copy !req
860. Here, hold my hand,
Steve-O. Hold my hand.Copy !req
861. Hold my hand, Steve-O. Hold his hand,
Steve-O.Copy !req
862. Pierce that nipple.One, two, three.Copy !req
863. Shit!Copy !req
864. Oh, shit! Stay, stay.Copy !req
865. Did it go in or no?Copy !req
866. Oh, yeah. Fuckin' went in.Copy !req
867. You went
from a triple A
to a B on this side.Copy !req
868. Yeah, Ehren.Copy !req
869. Watch out, Ehren!Copy !req
870. Oh, my God,
I thought it was
the real thing.Copy !req
871. I'm done!
I'm done! I can't.Copy !req
872. I'm outta here.Copy !req
873. No more of this spider crap.
I'm out.Copy !req
874. Excuse me, ma'am?Copy !req
875. I need to get my basket
closer to this pole.Copy !req
876. Do you think
you can help me, ma'am?Copy !req
877. Sure. There's a red handle
at the back of this truck.Copy !req
878. It's more
of a pinky orange.Copy !req
879. This one?Yeah, just pull back
on it just a little.Copy !req
880. Wait, should I do reverse?Copy !req
881. Yeah, do the reverse.Copy !req
882. Yeah, no, no!
Oh, that was— Noooo!Copy !req
883. Oh, why did you hit
the red one?Copy !req
884. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
885. Help!Copy !req
886. Help! Help me!Copy !req
887. Hit the lever!
Hit the lever!Copy !req
888. Hit the blue!
Hit the override!Copy !req
889. I don't know
where the blue is?Copy !req
890. Are you color blind?Copy !req
891. Please, help me!I'm trying to help you, sir!Copy !req
892. Just do the override
like it says!Copy !req
893. It doesn't say shit here!Copy !req
894. Pop to the right, then slide!Copy !req
895. Pop and slide!Copy !req
896. You just got me electrocuted!Copy !req
897. Oh, my ass!Copy !req
898. You forgot the slide. God, bless!Copy !req
899. I don't want to touch anything
because I don't know—Copy !req
900. You gotta touch something!
I gotta get down from here!Copy !req
901. Which one?Well, don't hit the ones
you been hitting!Copy !req
902. 'Cause you've been
hitting the wrong ones!Copy !req
903. I don't know what I'm doing. Well, clearly!Copy !req
904. Did you see Dirty Dancing?Copy !req
905. No. The old one,
you mean with the chair?Copy !req
906. The only one. Yeah.Copy !req
907. Yeah.Copy !req
908. That's Flashdance.Copy !req
909. Oh, Flashdance
is what I'm thinking.Copy !req
910. Dirty Dancing
with Jennifer Grey
and Patrick Swayze.Copy !req
911. For the final dance
she runs at them.Copy !req
912. She runs to Patrick SwayzeCopy !req
913. and he catches her and
he lifts her off the ground. Okay.Copy !req
914. Can you do that with Preston?I think I could do it
with Preston.Copy !req
915. Yeah, work it out
a little bit. I want more
than just a big jump.Copy !req
916. Oh, my God.
I just shit my pants.Copy !req
917. Shut up.You're joking, right?Copy !req
918. Did you really?Copy !req
919. I just shit my pants.
I just shit my fucking pants.Copy !req
920. He did. He really did.I just shit my pants.Copy !req
921. I fucking shit my pants.Copy !req
922. Why did you?Oh, my God.Copy !req
923. Why did you shit your... I didn't mean to.Copy !req
924. Oh, man.Copy !req
925. Technically,
you shit our pants.Copy !req
926. The show must go on.
I don't see how that
stops this.Copy !req
927. Let's go on.Copy !req
928. Ah, it's so gross.Copy !req
929. Ah, dude.It's so fucking gross.Copy !req
930. You're full of shit.Copy !req
931. I should not have
ate Indian and Cuban food
in the same day.Copy !req
932. We might be
losing Lance again.Copy !req
933. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
934. Oh, yuck.Copy !req
935. Oh, my God!Copy !req
936. I'm a grown man.Copy !req
937. I'm fucking 51 years old.Copy !req
938. Lance, we need
a closer shot of it.Copy !req
939. Oh! Oh, yuck.Copy !req
940. Preston should have
pooped before
he came to work today.Copy !req
941. Fail to prepare.
Prepare to fail. Hmm.Copy !req
942. Marker.Copy !req
943. Hello, my name's
Johnny KnoxvilleCopy !req
944. and this is the marching band.Copy !req
945. Ladies!Copy !req
946. Ugh!Copy !req
947. That happened so fast!Copy !req
948. Damn, I got a hard head.Copy !req
949. Oh, my God.
You all right?Copy !req
950. Yeah, I'm fine. Oh, my God.
He's bleeding.Copy !req
951. My hair line is receding.Copy !req
952. Steve-O, are you okay?Copy !req
953. You all right, Steve-O?Copy !req
954. Oh, dude. Yo, you okay?Copy !req
955. Holy shit.Copy !req
956. Man, that happened
fast.Copy !req
957. All that practicing,
right out the window.Copy !req
958. I feel like
I'm coming back to myself.
I can't remember nothing.Copy !req
959. I didn't wimp out, did I? No, you didn't.Copy !req
960. You still got those million
dollar teeth, that's for sure.Copy !req
961. They're dropping like flies.Copy !req
962. I never know what to say
to Rick's camera.Copy !req
963. I feel like, I'm just like,
ah ha, man, I'm on Jackass.Copy !req
964. This is sick.Copy !req
965. I'm in the TV show
I used to watch, man.Copy !req
966. Everything I say is gonna
end up on the cutting room
floor anyways.Copy !req
967. So it doesn't matter.Copy !req
968. Hey, how you doin'? Hi.Copy !req
969. Can I get a cold brew? Yeah, of course.Copy !req
970. Thanks.Copy !req
971. Do you mind if I get a photo?Copy !req
972. Sure.I'm a big fan.Copy !req
973. Oh, my God!Copy !req
974. What did you guys do to Eric?Copy !req
975. Fuck, everything was perfect.
I was like,Copy !req
976. cold brew coffee, all right.Copy !req
977. Yes, please.Copy !req
978. "A picture? Okay, yeah, sure."Copy !req
979. Motherfucker.Copy !req
980. What happened? What do you mean?Copy !req
981. He just got his nuts beat up.Copy !req
982. His balls are in his tummy.Copy !req
983. Oh. Ah, God damn it hurts.Copy !req
984. I think we gotta go one more.Copy !req
985. Can you do one more?Copy !req
986. Jeff said he needs one more.Copy !req
987. Hey, Wee Man,
help him get through
that hole.Copy !req
988. I'll guide.Copy !req
989. They're not hanging as low as
they were.Copy !req
990. Can you blame him? No.Copy !req
991. I'm getting 'em
right now.Copy !req
992. Ehren "Fluffer" McGhehey.Copy !req
993. Oh, my God.Copy !req
994. Oh, fuck, it hurts. Hold on, get ready.Copy !req
995. Okay, there.Here we go. Here we go.Copy !req
996. Now we're primed.One more time.Copy !req
997. Ah, fuck you.Copy !req
998. You ready? Action.Copy !req
999. Everybody shut up!Copy !req
1000. Boxer.Copy !req
1001. Oh, Preston.Copy !req
1002. Here with Steve-O
and our special handsome
guest star,Copy !req
1003. Machine Gun Kelly.Copy !req
1004. This is the bicycle backhandCopy !req
1005. and it's a competition.Copy !req
1006. The faster you pedal your bikeCopy !req
1007. the faster the other guy's
hand goes back.Copy !req
1008. And when it gets
to a certain point,Copy !req
1009. boom, someone's gonna
get launched.Copy !req
1010. You might be younger,Copy !req
1011. taller, better looking,
richer,Copy !req
1012. more talented,
but, motherfucker,Copy !req
1013. I can ride.Copy !req
1014. Steve-O's just eat up
with envy.Copy !req
1015. Charlie, can you push
that hand
in a little closer?Copy !req
1016. Okay, I'm gonna push this
forward a little.Copy !req
1017. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1018. What the fuck?Copy !req
1019. No one
fucking even touched it.Copy !req
1020. Oops. Oops.Copy !req
1021. It happened so fast.Copy !req
1022. Holy shit.Copy !req
1023. Oh, my God, dude.Copy !req
1024. Dry off, Steve-O,
it's going again.Copy !req
1025. Charlie just
touched it, it went boom.Copy !req
1026. And now Steve-O
has to do it twice.Copy !req
1027. Um, we ready?Copy !req
1028. On your marks...Copy !req
1029. get set...Copy !req
1030. Go!Copy !req
1031. Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!Copy !req
1032. Oh, you got this!Copy !req
1033. Keep going! Keep going!Copy !req
1034. Pedal!Copy !req
1035. He's got 'em!Copy !req
1036. Steve-O's winning.Copy !req
1037. I don't know.
I don't know!Copy !req
1038. Head up! Head up!Copy !req
1039. Don't gas out, Steve-O.Copy !req
1040. Steve-O, you got it.You got it!Copy !req
1041. Oh, God. It's so cold!Copy !req
1042. Bunny, help him.Copy !req
1043. The water's so fucking cold.Copy !req
1044. Save me motherfucker, fuck.Copy !req
1045. I need a towel.Copy !req
1046. I totally forgot
I was a lifeguard.Copy !req
1047. Dude, it's so cold.
That hurt so bad.Copy !req
1048. You got towels? Okay.Copy !req
1049. He's in shock right now,
look at his face.Copy !req
1050. Yeah, dude.Copy !req
1051. I thought my hand
was your hand.Copy !req
1052. Maybe I didn't
explain it right.Copy !req
1053. Dude, you said it wasn't gonna
feel like anything.Copy !req
1054. What hurt worse,
the cold water or the hand?Copy !req
1055. It was the hand.
That was harsh.Copy !req
1056. I was in the water like...Copy !req
1057. Oh, I'm dead.Copy !req
1058. That really worked.Copy !req
1059. How did you beat me?Copy !req
1060. I don't know, dude.
I don't know, man.Copy !req
1061. I was coming off my pedals,
it was not my strongest
performance.Copy !req
1062. Yours was really bad.Copy !req
1063. I don't know what's
worse, the wedgie or theseCopy !req
1064. junkyard mattresses
you gotta land on?Copy !req
1065. Look at that
pee-stained one right there.Copy !req
1066. Ew, dude.Copy !req
1067. Who do you think's
more afraid of being
at that height?Copy !req
1068. Preston or Zach?Copy !req
1069. How are you with
heights, Zach?Copy !req
1070. I already hate this.Copy !req
1071. I'm Wee Man, and this
is the triple wedgie.Copy !req
1072. All right.
Three, two, one. Jump!Copy !req
1073. Okay! Put me down!Copy !req
1074. Shit, put me down!Copy !req
1075. My nuts!Copy !req
1076. Well, that went well.Copy !req
1077. A little angel
hanging in the air.Copy !req
1078. Hollywood has long put
tremendous pressure on womenCopy !req
1079. to look youthful and sexy.Copy !req
1080. And sometimes, the only way
to do that is with a teamCopy !req
1081. of medical professionals
and venomous insects.Copy !req
1082. I'm Rachel,
and this is scorpion botox.Copy !req
1083. This is actually
my first time performingCopy !req
1084. this procedure.
To be honest with you.Copy !req
1085. Oh, my God.
That stinger is huge.Copy !req
1086. Pontius, I'm trusting you
with my lips.Copy !req
1087. You can trust me,
I'm a doctor.Copy !req
1088. You want to just put him
on my mouthCopy !req
1089. and then fuck with him?Copy !req
1090. Past her lip. Ooh!Copy !req
1091. Unh-unh. Unh-unh.Copy !req
1092. Just relax
and enjoy the procedure.Copy !req
1093. Oh, he's on. Oh, no.Copy !req
1094. Oh, shit. Oh, my...Copy !req
1095. Ow!Copy !req
1096. Boob job!I don't want it on my boobs!Copy !req
1097. I can't take him off your boob
unless you give me permission.Copy !req
1098. Permission!Copy !req
1099. Consent!Copy !req
1100. I'm giving you consent!Copy !req
1101. 21st Century, people. Yeah.Copy !req
1102. All right,
time to get stung in the face.Copy !req
1103. Whoa. This is intense.Copy !req
1104. Good job. Good job. He got it on my lip.Copy !req
1105. You're ready
for the red carpet.Copy !req
1106. Oh, shit. He's angry.Copy !req
1107. Oh, shit! Whoa!Copy !req
1108. God dammit, doctor.Copy !req
1109. He definitely stung my chin.Copy !req
1110. Came for lips
and left with a new chin.Copy !req
1111. Do you feel sexier?Copy !req
1112. I'm feeling sexier
by the minute.Copy !req
1113. Do you have one more in you?Yeah, sure.Copy !req
1114. Let's make it count.Copy !req
1115. He's coming.You got it, Doc.Copy !req
1116. Oh, my God,
that hurt so fucking bad.Copy !req
1117. Oh, my God, that hurt so bad.It's true,
it got her good.Copy !req
1118. That hurt bad.Copy !req
1119. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1120. Her lips are really
swollen now. That shit worked.Copy !req
1121. Oh, my lip is so fucked up,
you guys.Copy !req
1122. I feel fucked up.Copy !req
1123. But she looks great.Copy !req
1124. Whoa, a VCR. Huh?Copy !req
1125. A VCR.Copy !req
1126. So that's
a blast from the past, huh?Copy !req
1127. Bam!Copy !req
1128. Ah, that will work.Copy !req
1129. Dang.Copy !req
1130. Oh. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1131. Whoa! What?Copy !req
1132. What the hell? What the fuck!Copy !req
1133. What happened?Copy !req
1134. Holy crap, I fell on my face.Copy !req
1135. Are you okay?I'm okay,
I just don't understand.Copy !req
1136. I don't understand why
you were using the toilet.Copy !req
1137. How did you end up here?
And you just took a shit...Copy !req
1138. I didn't take anything. That was insane.Copy !req
1139. What kind of person
are you?Copy !req
1140. We have every
available fan in Los Angeles
on set today.Copy !req
1141. The two in the middle
go 100 miles an hour.Copy !req
1142. I'm Jasper, and I'm about to
take this gold chair
to the fucking moon.Copy !req
1143. Oh!Copy !req
1144. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
1145. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1146. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1147. We have a winner!Copy !req
1148. Holy shit.Copy !req
1149. Oh, fuck.
I want to go again.Copy !req
1150. Now it's time for some
hot-shit water-skiing. Brah!Copy !req
1151. We need a medic.
Medic!Copy !req
1152. Poops, you launched. Shit!Copy !req
1153. Fuck, dude. Dude. Poopies!
Poopies!Copy !req
1154. Poopies!Copy !req
1155. Yeah. Yeah, Poopies!Copy !req
1156. It worked!Copy !req
1157. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1158. Dude.Copy !req
1159. Quiet, please! Filming.Copy !req
1160. Milk, milk,
lemonade, turn the corner
and fudge is made.Copy !req
1161. Stick your finger in the hole.
Now you've got a Tootsie...Copy !req
1162. Hey, quiet please,
quiet please.Copy !req
1163. Everybody quiet.
So he can sing
"Milk, Milk, Lemonade."Copy !req
1164. Okay this is serious.
Everybody shut up.Copy !req
1165. All right,
let's get some smoke.Copy !req
1166. Behold, our twisted souls have
come to the garden of death
to dine with the devil.Copy !req
1167. It's time to sacrifice
Wee Man's juicy ass
to the raptor from hell.Copy !req
1168. Oh. Looking good.Copy !req
1169. Assume the position. Which way? This way?Copy !req
1170. Just have fun with it.Copy !req
1171. What do you have
in there?Copy !req
1172. Just me! That's not just you.Copy !req
1173. Go ahead.Copy !req
1174. Is that?
Wait, I'm not...Copy !req
1175. That's him!Copy !req
1176. When the beast awakens,
the monster arises.Copy !req
1177. Touche.Copy !req
1178. All right, whoa, dude, whoa!Copy !req
1179. Stuff it in his butt
and let's go.Copy !req
1180. Okay, there's enough
meat there.Copy !req
1181. And a cherry on top.Copy !req
1182. Let the unholy
sacrament begin.Copy !req
1183. Oh, shit! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1184. Ah, fuck!Copy !req
1185. Come.Copy !req
1186. Oh, okay!Copy !req
1187. You got this. Oh, no!Copy !req
1188. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1189. Feast on his cock.Copy !req
1190. All right!
All right!Copy !req
1191. Stop, man.
Stop, don't do that.Copy !req
1192. As the blood rushes to
the mast, the beast awakens
from his ancient slumber.Copy !req
1193. He's bleeding. Fuck. Come on.Copy !req
1194. The beast
has drawn blood.Copy !req
1195. Jeff. Jeff, can I get out?Copy !req
1196. In a second.
In a second.Copy !req
1197. Jeff.I would, but
the bird's right here.Copy !req
1198. We're trying
to get you untied
but the bird's here.Copy !req
1199. Before he returns to
hell, it's time for dessert.Copy !req
1200. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
1201. Fuck! Don't kick
the bird, Wee Man.Copy !req
1202. I didn't kick the bird!Copy !req
1203. It was the bird.Copy !req
1204. Okay, let me out. Let him out.Copy !req
1205. Well, let's not let
this meat go to waste.Copy !req
1206. Dark Shark? Shut up.Copy !req
1207. Hell, no, I ain't
going near none of that.
Hell, nah.Copy !req
1208. Look at that motherfucker.Copy !req
1209. Dark Shark, come on,
just put it on your arm.Copy !req
1210. Hell, nah,
are you crazy?Copy !req
1211. Yeah, Dark Shark.
Come on!Copy !req
1212. Dark Shark! Yeah!Copy !req
1213. Hold your arm straight. Look at the camera.Copy !req
1214. Don't move. Don't move.Copy !req
1215. Don't move. Stand still.Copy !req
1216. Ow!
He's biting my arm!Copy !req
1217. No, he's not.
He's clasping your arm.Copy !req
1218. Look at Rick! Look at Rick! He's too heavy!
Get him off me!Copy !req
1219. Hey. Feel that shit, man.
That motherfucker was trying
to hurt me, man.Copy !req
1220. I'm kind of embarrassed
right now. Like...Copy !req
1221. I came out of his penis, man.
That's how he acting?Copy !req
1222. Hood card taken away.Copy !req
1223. We have 15 gallons
of pig semen.Copy !req
1224. Turns out,
pigs produce the most
semen of any animal.Copy !req
1225. Up to 17 ounces a load.Copy !req
1226. And the guys are going to
think they are getting
interviewed about the movie.Copy !req
1227. And while
they're sitting there,
something may happen.Copy !req
1228. There's crust on top of it.Copy !req
1229. Harvested gallons
and gallons of this.
Does it smell like pig semen?Copy !req
1230. Does it smell?Copy !req
1231. Why are you looking at me
like that?Copy !req
1232. Oh, no!Copy !req
1233. It's semen all right.Copy !req
1234. Why am I the one to puke?
I don't puke.Copy !req
1235. I just wanted you
to smell it.Copy !req
1236. I wanted
to surprise you.Copy !req
1237. It's been a while since I ate
the horse semen but...Copy !req
1238. I think I prefer the pig.Copy !req
1239. Bacon's better
than horse meat,
right?Copy !req
1240. I'm Tyler. And this is
the electric tap dance.Copy !req
1241. While these beautiful men
dance away,Copy !req
1242. I'm going to give my guy
Johnny Knoxville a look,Copy !req
1243. and he's going to put
some pep in their step.Copy !req
1244. It's going to shock
the shit out of them.Copy !req
1245. And if you're wondering
if the curtains
match the drapes,Copy !req
1246. let me tell you, I tore those
drapes out a long time ago.Copy !req
1247. This is fucked.Copy !req
1248. Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
1249. That one hurt.Copy !req
1250. Shanna, what the fuck
is this under the seat?Copy !req
1251. What is this?Copy !req
1252. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
1253. What? What is that?Copy !req
1254. What is that?Copy !req
1255. It's how they work,
look. This...Copy !req
1256. In tune? It's a piano.Copy !req
1257. No, it's metal right here.
I'm not fucking stupid.Copy !req
1258. All right, let's go.
Quiet!Copy !req
1259. Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
1260. Step and step.Copy !req
1261. Fuck!Copy !req
1262. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1263. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
1264. I still feel it in my ass.Copy !req
1265. Yeah, Tyler. Those shits hit hard, man.Copy !req
1266. How about a hand
for our dancers?Copy !req
1267. Our showgirl!Copy !req
1268. And our choreographer,
Michael Rooney.Copy !req
1269. And Jeff Tremaine!Copy !req
1270. Jeff should sit on that.Copy !req
1271. Jeff, sit on that just once,
bro.Copy !req
1272. Who got that remote?
I fucking hate Jeff.Copy !req
1273. Wait, are you on it?Copy !req
1274. Holy shit!Copy !req
1275. All right, thanks man.
We'll do this real fast.Copy !req
1276. So we're going to go
from that to this. I just...Copy !req
1277. I got shocked so bad
so many times.Copy !req
1278. Are we rolling, guys?Copy !req
1279. He's about to have
five gallons of pig cum
dumped on him.Copy !req
1280. Damn, that sounds like me
in London.Copy !req
1281. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1282. But how did he fucking
fall for this?Copy !req
1283. We don't question it.Copy !req
1284. My favorite Jackassstunt
of all time with me in itCopy !req
1285. is the firehose rodeo.Copy !req
1286. To be honest,
I drank late into the night,Copy !req
1287. woke up still drunk.Copy !req
1288. Oh, that's cum!Copy !req
1289. That's five gallons
of pig cum.Copy !req
1290. You just got cummed on, dude! That's pig cum.Copy !req
1291. Oh! What is it?Copy !req
1292. Pig cum.Copy !req
1293. Pig cum.Copy !req
1294. Pig cum. That's pig cum?Copy !req
1295. That's pig cum.
Five gallons.Copy !req
1296. Honestly, I think
it tastes good.Copy !req
1297. I'm a vegetarian!Copy !req
1298. Watch the replay.Copy !req
1299. Watch, watch, watch.Copy !req
1300. Wait, wait, wait.
Watch his mouth.Copy !req
1301. Stay on his mouth.Copy !req
1302. Ready? And...Copy !req
1303. Poof.Copy !req
1304. It went in his mouth. Right in his fucking mouth.Copy !req
1305. You look great.Copy !req
1306. I just said why can't I wear
my cool hat?Copy !req
1307. Now I know why.Copy !req
1308. Oh, God!Copy !req
1309. Oh, my God, dude!Copy !req
1310. So today, Ehren's going
to be wearing a shock collar.Copy !req
1311. And I'm going to administer
a lie detector test.Copy !req
1312. And if he's not truthful,
he's going to get stung.Copy !req
1313. Jesus, man!Copy !req
1314. You don't have to
feel that againCopy !req
1315. as long as you
tell the truth.Copy !req
1316. Okay, but... Come on.Copy !req
1317. All right.Copy !req
1318. What is your name?Copy !req
1319. Kenneth Ehren McGhehey.Copy !req
1320. Okay, next question, Ehren.Copy !req
1321. Are you really allergic
to bees?Copy !req
1322. Yes.Copy !req
1323. Oh, boy,
I think he told a porky.Copy !req
1324. Ow! I'm fucking allergic
to bees, man.
I got tested by doctors!Copy !req
1325. Stop it!Copy !req
1326. What? Just for a second.Copy !req
1327. Just let me figure
some things out. Okay?Copy !req
1328. Okay.Copy !req
1329. I got to get out
of this thing.Copy !req
1330. This will keep you
immune to the bees. Oh, come on.Copy !req
1331. Are you fucking kidding me
right now?Copy !req
1332. I am trapped.Copy !req
1333. And you are putting honey
on me.Copy !req
1334. And salmon? Yeah.Copy !req
1335. What are you doing?Copy !req
1336. Ehren, please relax.Copy !req
1337. You're making this
much worseCopy !req
1338. on yourself
than it needs to be.Copy !req
1339. No, it's not much worse,
it is that worse.Copy !req
1340. No. Please.Copy !req
1341. Now I'm stuck in a room.Copy !req
1342. Everyone's going to leave.
Lights out.Copy !req
1343. The fucking honey
is in my eye!Copy !req
1344. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1345. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1346. I can't believe it.No fucking way.Copy !req
1347. Look at his face!Copy !req
1348. Ehren, remain calm.Copy !req
1349. Talk to it, Ehren.Copy !req
1350. Try to calm it down.Copy !req
1351. Oh, no.
He's going for the salmon.Copy !req
1352. Oh, no. Hi, bear.Copy !req
1353. Are you really allergic
to bees, Ehren?Copy !req
1354. Fuck! You're telling a porky!Copy !req
1355. I didn't even get to answer.Copy !req
1356. No, no. Ooh!Copy !req
1357. Ehren, don't make
any sudden movements.Copy !req
1358. Oh.Copy !req
1359. There's nothing
more in there!Copy !req
1360. There's nothing more
in there!Copy !req
1361. Mr. Bear,
eat that dick.Copy !req
1362. I'm ready to come out
of this. I...Copy !req
1363. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1364. Fuck, dude,
he tried to bite my hand.Copy !req
1365. He's trying to bite my hand.
He's trying to bite my hand.Copy !req
1366. He's trying to bite my hand.Copy !req
1367. I don't know what—
Oh, my God!Copy !req
1368. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1369. Oh, God!Copy !req
1370. Oh, God!Copy !req
1371. Ow! Oh, my God,
he's going for my dick.Copy !req
1372. I gotta go in. He's going
for my dick, dude.Copy !req
1373. I wanna get outta here, man,
like I'm serious.Copy !req
1374. Please.Copy !req
1375. Please!Copy !req
1376. Yeah, Ehren!Copy !req
1377. Yeah, get him out of it.Copy !req
1378. I feel for you, bro.Copy !req
1379. I feel for you.You're good, you're done.Copy !req
1380. You're done.Copy !req
1381. Is it— Is it actually over?Copy !req
1382. Yeah, buddy.Copy !req
1383. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1384. All right. I think this is
a perfect amount of "in it".Copy !req
1385. All right, let me...Copy !req
1386. Who's got it?Copy !req
1387. I thought I had it.I got it.Copy !req
1388. All right. This is gnarly.Copy !req
1389. This is a trip.Copy !req
1390. While you guys are tightening,
I'm going to have to
hold the tip of itCopy !req
1391. just to keep it steady, huh?Copy !req
1392. Ooh, it's starting to take
a firm grip.Copy !req
1393. Look at it!Copy !req
1394. This is some medieval shit.Copy !req
1395. This is all the way clear.No thanks, bro.Copy !req
1396. Watch it, man.It's tight, man.Copy !req
1397. Oooh.Copy !req
1398. That don't hurt?Copy !req
1399. That's the weird part,Copy !req
1400. it doesn't really hurt.Copy !req
1401. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1402. Don't look now,
but it's flat as a pancake.Copy !req
1403. A lot of people ask,
"What will Jackassbe like
once we're older?"Copy !req
1404. Well, it'll get more mature.Copy !req
1405. Me and the homie be Googling
weird shit,Copy !req
1406. but like this would never
pop in their head.Copy !req
1407. This is brand new.Copy !req
1408. Yeah, you're for sure never
gonna be president.Copy !req
1409. You never know.
I'd vote for him.Copy !req
1410. Yeah!Copy !req
1411. The ball flap.Copy !req
1412. Wow!Copy !req
1413. Yes! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1414. Wow!Copy !req
1415. Now we know
what that's all about.Copy !req
1416. So, here we are
back at the bullring.Copy !req
1417. Even at a time when I wanted
to die, I wouldn't get
in the bullring.Copy !req
1418. You know, when life
was its least valuableCopy !req
1419. I would have no part
in this bullshit.Copy !req
1420. And it's my
least favorite thing.Copy !req
1421. The movie's going so well.Copy !req
1422. Why the fuck
are we doing this?Copy !req
1423. God, dude!Copy !req
1424. I don't think he's very happy.No.Copy !req
1425. Have you been
around bulls before? No.Copy !req
1426. I've never been around
a bullCopy !req
1427. in my whole entire life.Copy !req
1428. Not a real one.Copy !req
1429. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1430. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1431. Hello,
I am Johnny the Magnificent.Copy !req
1432. Today, I am going to wow you
with my supreme skills
of prestidigitation.Copy !req
1433. Oh, fuck! Oh, God! Oh, shit!Copy !req
1434. Woo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
1435. Oh, no! Oh, shit!Copy !req
1436. Oh, no.Copy !req
1437. Jesus.Copy !req
1438. There we go.Copy !req
1439. He's okay.Copy !req
1440. Hey, J, talk to me. You okay?Copy !req
1441. You all right?Copy !req
1442. You doing okay?
Johnny?Copy !req
1443. He's gettin' back,
he's coming to.Copy !req
1444. He's coming back, yeah.Copy !req
1445. You all right?Copy !req
1446. That was a violent brawl.Copy !req
1447. One-sided to be sure.Copy !req
1448. Gnarly.Copy !req
1449. So we good, Jeff?Copy !req
1450. You got exactly
what you wanted.Copy !req
1451. Yeah, Knox. Yeah, Knox.Copy !req
1452. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
1453. So what happened
after it hit me?Copy !req
1454. Dude, it's gnarly.Copy !req
1455. This is you, this is the bull.Copy !req
1456. He didn't
mess around, dude.Copy !req
1457. He turned around
and just nailed him.Copy !req
1458. That was insane. Yeah, Knox!Copy !req
1459. It's probably
the biggest hit
you've ever taken.Copy !req
1460. And that's why
he is the captain.Copy !req
1461. That bull didn't like
fucking magic.Copy !req
1462. Yeah, Knox, we love you!Copy !req
1463. Love you!Copy !req
1464. Captain!Copy !req
1465. Hello, Lance.Copy !req
1466. Hello there.How are you?Copy !req
1467. Good. What's new?Copy !req
1468. Ah, I got a broken wrist,
broken rib, concussion.Copy !req
1469. But I was supposed to
pour the milk in the hat,Copy !req
1470. and then put the hat back on,
and no milk come out.Copy !req
1471. Did milk come out?Copy !req
1472. There was some milk
on the...Copy !req
1473. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1474. These guys are gonna get
on that centrifuge back there,Copy !req
1475. drink as much milk
as they can.Copy !req
1476. We're gonna see what happens.Copy !req
1477. This is the vomitron.Copy !req
1478. Woo! Yeah!Copy !req
1479. Taste the rainbow.Copy !req
1480. Taste the rainbow. Come on, guys.Copy !req
1481. If this is a race to see
who vomits first,Copy !req
1482. I think I might have it.Copy !req
1483. Zach, aim your head down
when you throw up.Copy !req
1484. It's comin' right at me.Copy !req
1485. Oh, God.Copy !req
1486. I can barely taste
the pig cum in this.Copy !req
1487. Right?Copy !req
1488. All right, chug, chug.Copy !req
1489. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1490. Here we go! Fuck me!Copy !req
1491. Just look at me, Eric.Copy !req
1492. Pound that milk! Yeah, chug it!Copy !req
1493. Oh.Copy !req
1494. Fuck it.Is he already puking?Copy !req
1495. Jasper!Copy !req
1496. Drink your fucking milk!I'm trying!
I'm fuckin' trying!Copy !req
1497. Let's pick up the speed!
Pick up the speed!Copy !req
1498. Whoo! It's pickin' up!Copy !req
1499. Ah! Ahh!Copy !req
1500. What the fuck
did you eat?Copy !req
1501. What did he eat?Copy !req
1502. Go, go, go!Copy !req
1503. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1504. What's happening now?Copy !req
1505. There's an army truck.Copy !req
1506. Holy shit.Copy !req
1507. Oh, shit, Imma pass out!Copy !req
1508. I'm passing out!Copy !req
1509. Zach's passing out?Copy !req
1510. I'm passing out.Copy !req
1511. I can't drink the milk.
I'm going too fast.Copy !req
1512. Red Robin Three.
This is Big Hank Two.Copy !req
1513. I want the perimeter bombed,
God damn it!Copy !req
1514. Bomb them into the stone age,
son!Copy !req
1515. Stop!Copy !req
1516. Stop! Stop!Copy !req
1517. What the fuck?
What the fuck?Copy !req
1518. What the fuck?Copy !req
1519. Oh, no!Copy !req
1520. It's a paintball time!Copy !req
1521. Fire!Copy !req
1522. Stop! Stop!Copy !req
1523. No more! Oh!Copy !req
1524. I got shot
in the fuckin' mouth.Copy !req
1525. Ah! Dave! Dave!Copy !req
1526. Get on the stretcher!Copy !req
1527. Get on the stretcher.Copy !req
1528. Don't get me! Ah! Fuck!Copy !req
1529. Someday this war is gonna end.Copy !req
1530. I don't know how to get out.Copy !req
1531. Help me, Eric! Help me!Copy !req
1532. I love the smell of paintballs
in the morning!Copy !req
1533. Ow!Copy !req
1534. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
1535. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
1536. Ow! Oh!Copy !req
1537. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
1538. Fuck, Jeff!Copy !req
1539. Look at Dave's face!Copy !req
1540. Look at...Copy !req
1541. Oh, my God! Fuck off!
Fuck all the way off!Copy !req
1542. Dude, what the fuck?Copy !req
1543. I'm sorry, bro. That fuckin' hurt!Copy !req
1544. Get out there, get out there.Copy !req
1545. Poopies... Poopies is hurt.Copy !req
1546. Are we done? Let me see.Copy !req
1547. Oh, my God. Oh my God, damn!Copy !req
1548. My dick really hurts, man.Copy !req
1549. He got shot in the dick.Copy !req
1550. That was fucked!Copy !req
1551. Oh, God. Look at that.Copy !req
1552. It's gotta be
over, dude.Copy !req
1553. I can't get any more hurt.Copy !req
1554. I think we're all the way
finished, we're through.Copy !req
1555. Stick a fork in it.Copy !req
1556. We're done.Copy !req
1557. Oooh, is that
your tooth, dude?Copy !req
1558. Wow!Copy !req
1559. That's a wrap on the movie.Copy !req
1560. Oh!Copy !req
1561. Huh?Copy !req
1562. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1563. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1564. Watch him get hit in the nuts! Oh, no!Copy !req
1565. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1566. Did anyone even film that?Copy !req
1567. He was.Copy !req
1568. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1569. This is the cup
that we used for P.K.
to hit me in the dick.Copy !req
1570. And apparently it worked.Copy !req
1571. But there's a big giant
dent in it.Copy !req
1572. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
1573. Flamingo.Copy !req
1574. Flamingo, pelican, eh!Copy !req
1575. Give that a whirl, yeah.Copy !req
1576. Probably, like,
her least concern.Copy !req
1577. That's awesome.Copy !req
1578. I didn't even know he could go
that fast.Copy !req
1579. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1580. I got shot
with the elephant gun
yesterday.Copy !req
1581. Yeah, Parks!Copy !req
1582. Good job, dude!
You launched!Copy !req
1583. That was crazy.Copy !req
1584. Oh, fuck, yeah, you
the main one talkin' shit.
Motherfucker, do it!Copy !req
1585. That's a hot mama.Copy !req
1586. Who's this?Copy !req
1587. He's my offspring.Copy !req
1588. For real, like, I've been
watching JackassCopy !req
1589. since I was like 12 years
old, 10 years old. Right.Copy !req
1590. But it's definitely a big
impact on life and guess what?
We're here.Copy !req
1591. We're here, baby!Copy !req
1592. Poopies doesn't have the
biggest penis in the world,Copy !req
1593. not the second biggest either.Copy !req
1594. I think I have
the smallest one
out of the whole group.Copy !req
1595. That was what... That was
what I was most nervous
about is showing it on...Copy !req
1596. to the whole world.Copy !req
1597. Yeah. But that's what
we're here for.Copy !req
1598. My name's Irving Zissman,
and I'm a prick.Copy !req
1599. And that's the truth.Copy !req
1600. I kind of feel like praying
right now.Copy !req
1601. Boom, boom. Boom, boom.Copy !req
1602. Was that a prank?Copy !req
1603. Y'all ain't right, man.Copy !req
1604. That was beautiful.Copy !req
1605. I love you guys, man,
for that.Copy !req
1606. Did they put that goofy-ass
beard on in makeup?Copy !req
1607. You a hater.
I knew he was gonna come overCopy !req
1608. and say some fuck shit
about my nice-ass beard.Copy !req
1609. Yeah, 'cause that's—Copy !req
1610. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1611. Holy fuck.Copy !req
1612. Oh, my God, dude.Copy !req
1613. Come on, Zach!Copy !req
1614. Oh, God!Copy !req
1615. Oh, my, you missed the bucket.Copy !req
1616. I'm in the weirdest position.Copy !req
1617. All right, let's get
that camera ready
with the 16 mil,Copy !req
1618. right down Main Street.Copy !req
1619. Hey, Rick. Hey!Copy !req
1620. I was trying to look stoked.Copy !req
1621. There it is!Copy !req
1622. First time you got cummed on?Copy !req
1623. Yeah. For sure.Copy !req
1624. Or the second.Copy !req
1625. I am, I have no... Okay, listen.Copy !req
1626. Did we get it?Copy !req
1627. You just gotta take it.You just gotta go.Copy !req
1628. Take it like a man.You just gotta take it.Copy !req
1629. Cut! Cut!Copy !req
1630. That's good.Copy !req
1631. Three, two, one!Copy !req
1632. Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, my hand's burned.Copy !req
1633. Ow, my hand's burning!Copy !req
1634. Hey, Dave.Copy !req
1635. Dave, you good, bro? Yeah.Copy !req
1636. I'm all right,
I'll be all right.Copy !req
1637. I'm just going— I am burned.Copy !req
1638. Oh, God!Copy !req
1639. Fuck!Copy !req
1640. How's his head?Copy !req
1641. Can't have nothin' nice,
can I?Copy !req
1642. Will you make him
an actual coffee,
Stephanie, thank you.Copy !req
1643. Oh, dude.Here, I made you
another one.Copy !req
1644. Awesome.Copy !req
1645. That's actually
not the milkshake.Copy !req
1646. All right!Copy !req
1647. Dude wanted to be
just like me.Copy !req
1648. What? Dude, that's sick.Copy !req
1649. Trailer moment.
Don't move.Copy !req
1650. We ready?Copy !req
1651. Huh?Copy !req
1652. He's ready.Copy !req
1653. So we're all ready to do this?Copy !req
1654. We're ready.Copy !req
1655. Everyone rolling?Copy !req
1656. Oh, no! Oh, no!Copy !req
1657. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1658. Wow!
That is legit right there.Copy !req
1659. Let me get in on that one.Copy !req
1660. I'm running around
in a G-string
for a living.Copy !req
1661. You are making a living
at that right now.Copy !req
1662. Yeah.Copy !req
1663. It looked good on you.Copy !req
1664. I summon Sarcophilus SatanicusCopy !req
1665. to come and eat the flesh
of the wallaby.Copy !req
1666. I can totally see through
Steve-O's.Copy !req
1667. This is so gross, man.Copy !req
1668. Can we get one with the finger
in your mouth?Copy !req
1669. I'm gonna shit my pants
before we get to that
fuckin' place.Copy !req
1670. I'm Dave England
and I got to take a shit.Copy !req
1671. I hope you're gonna
get that son of a bitch.Copy !req
1672. I took a huge coil in
there and it stunk so bad.Copy !req
1673. Weren't you on 90210
not too long ago—Copy !req
1674. Hey, come here. Jump—Copy !req
1675. Get it off!
Get it off!Copy !req
1676. Hold the collar up
so I can see it.Copy !req
1677. Did I get you?Copy !req
1678. We're going to convince
Kosick that this is a piece
of audio equipment.Copy !req
1679. Unbeknownst to him,
he's gonna be shocked.Copy !req
1680. Yeah, it's a microphone.Copy !req
1681. I don't hear nothing.Copy !req
1682. Stop it now. Stop it.Copy !req
1683. Hey, let's eat.Copy !req
1684. Who wants some?Copy !req
1685. Face your fears.Copy !req
1686. He put his hands down!
What a pussy. Don't look.Copy !req
1687. Dude, just kick back.
It's not like we really care.Copy !req
1688. Dude, dude!Copy !req
1689. Ow, ow! Dude!Copy !req
1690. Dude! Chill!Copy !req
1691. Chill, dude!Copy !req
1692. It's for the movie, dude.Copy !req
1693. He kicked your ass, dude.Copy !req
1694. How's Raab not in this?Copy !req
1695. I'm the smart one.
I already know
what's going to happen.Copy !req
1696. Hey, I'm Raab Himself
and this is Bungy-Wedgie.Copy !req
1697. Watch out.Copy !req
1698. Stop it!Copy !req
1699. Oh! You got my nuts!Copy !req
1700. Oh, man, I'm stuck.Copy !req
1701. And cut.Copy !req