1. Attention!Copy !req
2. Be seated.Copy !req
3. Now, I'd like to present to you
Jackass 2.5.Copy !req
4. But before I do,Copy !req
5. I would like to introduce you
to the fine menCopy !req
6. who risked their livesCopy !req
7. and livers to make this film possible.Copy !req
8. By God, they made it their duty.Copy !req
9. Soldiers!Copy !req
10. About face!Copy !req
11. Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass!Copy !req
12. At ease.Copy !req
13. When we went out to shoot
Jackass Number Two,Copy !req
14. we actually shotCopy !req
15. two movies' worth of a movie.Copy !req
16. I don't know how we ended up
with so much footage. I think...Copy !req
17. We didn't really want to stop filming.Copy !req
18. It's just funner than normal life.Copy !req
19. This is pure black house paint.Copy !req
20. - It's not really house paint, it's interior.
- It'll be all right.Copy !req
21. Water-based, of course.Copy !req
22. Just paint the fat bastard up,
and let's get this over with.Copy !req
23. The second thing we shot for
Jackass Number Two was a bit calledCopy !req
24. Beauty and the Beast.Copy !req
25. And it's an idea Preston wrote, whereCopy !req
26. we dress him up as a gorilla, and
Wee Man up as the damsel in distress.Copy !req
27. And we stand them up on top of
a building, or in our case a porta-potty,Copy !req
28. and fly airplanes at them
and crash them into themCopy !req
29. and, you know, he's the big King Kong.Copy !req
30. And after hiding
my extreme fear of heightsCopy !req
31. for six years, I got busted.Copy !req
32. What's the technical word for that,
fear of heights?Copy !req
33. Fatty-fall-down-aphobia?Copy !req
34. Oh, shit!Copy !req
35. Oh, here it comes.Copy !req
36. - Come on, Kong.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
37. Oh, my God, Kong!Copy !req
38. - Bring it back. Bring it back.
- Come on, Kong!Copy !req
39. It's coming in fast this time, Kong!Copy !req
40. Come on!Copy !req
41. Holy shit!Copy !req
42. - Beat its ass!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
43. I'm dizzy. I'm dizzy.
I'm about to pass out.Copy !req
44. Oh, my God!Copy !req
45. - Oh, shit!
- Oh, crap.Copy !req
46. - Oh shit! Hey, Preston!
- Preston! Sit down!Copy !req
47. - Sit down.
- Sit down.Copy !req
48. Preston, get down.Copy !req
49. Hey, do the sound.Copy !req
50. Preston, you're doing good, buddy.Copy !req
51. I thought he was crying at one point.Copy !req
52. How you doing?Copy !req
53. Hey, we're getting gold, man.Copy !req
54. - Watch out.
- He's going to shit himself.Copy !req
55. Hey, Gay Ray can't rescue you.Copy !req
56. Get back up there, Wee Man.Copy !req
57. I was up there having, literally,
the worst day of my damn life.Copy !req
58. All I could see was all the boys,
all my friends down there,Copy !req
59. just pointing and laughing at me.Copy !req
60. - Grab the prop.
- What's happening?Copy !req
61. - Ready, go!
- He looks like a giant target.Copy !req
62. It's the kind of shit
that you feel like a bad person for.Copy !req
63. Save your woman!Copy !req
64. - Shit!
- You all right?Copy !req
65. Oh, no, dude, that was not good.Copy !req
66. - He's all right.
- Is he good?Copy !req
67. - I can't believe he's all right.
- Dude, he missed the mattress.Copy !req
68. - Biggest noise.
- That wasn't very good.Copy !req
69. It didn't end very good.Copy !req
70. I don't got anything to say about that.Copy !req
71. You all right?Copy !req
72. It was the hardest day of any day
I've had in Jackass, in eight years.Copy !req
73. And I honestly didn't think I'd be able
to finish the movie after that.Copy !req
74. It was that bad.Copy !req
75. - Hello. I'm Preston Lacy.
- And I'm Wee Man.Copy !req
76. This is Beauty and the Beast!Copy !req
77. Save me, big gorilla, save me!Copy !req
78. I wonder how you explain
the difference in... That's insane.Copy !req
79. That's insane.Copy !req
80. - Save your woman.
- Save your career.Copy !req
81. Hey, man, come on!Copy !req
82. Save me, big gorilla, save me.Copy !req
83. Save me, big gorilla, save me.Copy !req
84. - That's one brave monkey.
- Oh, yeah, it is.Copy !req
85. What the fuck?Copy !req
86. It just goes to show
that when the chips are downCopy !req
87. and life looks like it really sucks...Copy !req
88. Xanax!Copy !req
89. I'm Phil Margera, and I'm hungry
for some goddamn meatballs.Copy !req
90. Do it.Copy !req
91. Are you all right?Copy !req
92. Yeah, it got me like a punch.Copy !req
93. - You going to have a black eye?
- I think so.Copy !req
94. - Oh my God.
- I hope so.Copy !req
95. - How was those meatballs, Phil?
- They were delish.Copy !req
96. - Ape, you did a good job.
- Thank you.Copy !req
97. I wrote this skit, Dizzy Boxing.Copy !req
98. And when I wrote it, I wrote that
we would be suspended from ropesCopy !req
99. that would be twisted around
and around and around,Copy !req
100. so much that when you let go,
it just spins you like crazy,Copy !req
101. to where you're just a human blur.
And then you'd box.Copy !req
102. So you'd be... I mean, crazy dizzy.Copy !req
103. And then, so,
we end up at some hotel roomCopy !req
104. and office chairs to be spun around in.Copy !req
105. I'm Dave England,
with Ehren McGhehey,Copy !req
106. and this is Dizzy Boxing.Copy !req
107. Yeah! Spin that bitch.Copy !req
108. Oh, shit.Copy !req
109. - Let's get it on!
- Kill him.Copy !req
110. Break it up. Break it up. Break it up.Copy !req
111. Back to your corner.
Back to your corner.Copy !req
112. I want you to kill him. Not just beat
him up. I want you to make him dead.Copy !req
113. He's going to go down.
I'm gonna kill him.Copy !req
114. I've been saving it for this round.
This is going to be the one.Copy !req
115. Round 2.Copy !req
116. Let's get it on!Copy !req
117. - Fight it out. Let's go. Let's go.
- Kill him.Copy !req
118. All right, break it up. Break it up.
Break it up.Copy !req
119. - Look, he's all amped up.
- Yeah, he won a round. He's stoked.Copy !req
120. He's got the taste for blood.
He wants to kill.Copy !req
121. Yeah!Copy !req
122. Round 3.Copy !req
123. - All right, D. Just kick his ass.
- Come on, England.Copy !req
124. Straight to the DVD.Copy !req
125. Straight to the DVD.Copy !req
126. Let's get it on!Copy !req
127. Yeah!Copy !req
128. Yeah!Copy !req
129. Yeah, that's right!Copy !req
130. - Yeah!
- That was a good one.Copy !req
131. Stop! He's down, he's down.Copy !req
132. I'd never break up a fight like that.Copy !req
133. One, two, three, four, five,Copy !req
134. six, seven, eight, nine, ten.Copy !req
135. We have a winner!Copy !req
136. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
137. Winner is Ehren McGhehey!Copy !req
138. Dizzy boxing champion!Copy !req
139. And there's the loser.Copy !req
140. - Hello?
- Hi, Mom.Copy !req
141. - Hi.
- I'm at the beach.Copy !req
142. That doesn't sound...
Well normally, I'd say, "Yay!"Copy !req
143. But that doesn't sound too good.Copy !req
144. I'm going to film a skit.Copy !req
145. It's called the Butt Bead Ass Kite.Copy !req
146. What?Copy !req
147. I'm going to fly a kite out of my ass.Copy !req
148. You need to explain this to me.
How do you fly a kite out of your butt?Copy !req
149. You put anal beads up there.Copy !req
150. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
151. Yeah, don't worry, I'm going to help out.Copy !req
152. The beads are going to be totally
lubed up, April, it's cool.Copy !req
153. - We're going to spit on them.
- Are you joking?Copy !req
154. "We're going to spit on them"!Copy !req
155. Ape, what do you think?Copy !req
156. How are you not going
to get arrested doing this?Copy !req
157. We have permits.Copy !req
158. - Yeah.
- Where do you get a permit for that?Copy !req
159. Paramount.Copy !req
160. We can't get a permit
for something stupid, like an addition,Copy !req
161. and you're getting a permit for that?Copy !req
162. - So, do you approve of this skit?
- No!Copy !req
163. - Well, I'm doing it anyway. Goodbye.
- I knew you would, but I...Copy !req
164. It's a beautiful day at the beach,
and I feel like flying a kite.Copy !req
165. Out of my ass!Copy !req
166. I just lost a shitload of fans.Copy !req
167. But I gained four in Key West.Copy !req
168. Oh, man.Copy !req
169. Sand in the Vaseline now.Copy !req
170. There you go.Copy !req
171. Ape is going to hate this one.Copy !req
172. Get it in there, buddy!Copy !req
173. - I'm trying!
- I can't do this.Copy !req
174. What's going on back there?Copy !req
175. - Fucking freak!
- Check this. Chris, check.Copy !req
176. - What's the ball count there, dude?
- I can't do this.Copy !req
177. - What's the ball count, Chris?
- All right, I'll tell you the ball count.Copy !req
178. Hold on. I'll tell you guys the ball count.Copy !req
179. Take the ball count,Copy !req
180. - and just agree that it's good.
- It's...Copy !req
181. - It's three balls.
- One more to go!Copy !req
182. - Come on.
- One more to go.Copy !req
183. One more, Bam. One more.Copy !req
184. - I don't need any help.
- Push it in!Copy !req
185. - Time to go!
- I got it.Copy !req
186. - Okay, it's ready.
- This is just like a fucking pirate...Copy !req
187. - It's fucking in! It's all in!
- I'm impressed.Copy !req
188. I'm impressed, too. I'm impressed.Copy !req
189. Fly the fucking kite!Copy !req
190. Fly the kite! Fly the fucking kite!Copy !req
191. Fly the kite!Copy !req
192. - You ready?
- Fly the kite!Copy !req
193. Here goes the kite!Copy !req
194. Pull it out!Copy !req
195. Get them out! Get them out!Copy !req
196. Get them out!Copy !req
197. Pull it out!Copy !req
198. No way!Copy !req
199. What happened?Copy !req
200. I didn't pull it out.
That was Mother Nature.Copy !req
201. I saw a...Copy !req
202. Let's see if there's shit on them.Copy !req
203. Steve-O, is there shit on it?Copy !req
204. Yeah.Copy !req
205. All the other stuff, like getting
dicks branded on your ass, is funny.Copy !req
206. Even the golden dildo up the ass,
that's hilarious.Copy !req
207. But, like, anal beads going out
of your ass, from a kite, on the beach?Copy !req
208. There's just something
a little too shady about that.Copy !req
209. I was under the influence
of alcoholic beveragesCopy !req
210. and I thought it was
a good idea at the time.Copy !req
211. Miller High Life!Copy !req
212. I love that we're scared.Copy !req
213. That bull's crazy, Wee Man.Copy !req
214. Oh shit! Now your cape's gone.Copy !req
215. Fuck that.Copy !req
216. We're at Ape and Phil's house,
and I'm going to surprise themCopy !req
217. with this big honking bazooka.Copy !req
218. - Ape, hit the deck!
- Hey!Copy !req
219. - Why? What? What is that?
- Hit the fucking deck!Copy !req
220. What...Copy !req
221. - Bam!
- Fire in the hole!Copy !req
222. What was that?Copy !req
223. - Check my heart rate, somebody.
- We're burning!Copy !req
224. - There's a fucking fire!
- 190 over 110 or something.Copy !req
225. Where? Where?Copy !req
226. Bam!Copy !req
227. - What?
- Look at the carpet.Copy !req
228. The carpet's all melted.Copy !req
229. Dico shot that one.Copy !req
230. Yeah, that was Dico's,
'cause he didn't have...Copy !req
231. You're kind of like not hearing
what I'm saying.Copy !req
232. I'm saying the carpet's melted.Copy !req
233. - Yeah but that wasn't me.
- That was Dico's.Copy !req
234. I fired a bazooka, he fired a rocket.Copy !req
235. I don't care who it was! The carpet's...
Who's firing this in the house?Copy !req
236. That was Dico,
'cause he fired the rocket.Copy !req
237. That's a rocket. He did a bazooka.Copy !req
238. - Yelling at me is pointless.
- Yeah, it is. 'Cause he...Copy !req
239. - You know what?
- He did the carpet.Copy !req
240. - It's unfair to yell at me, 'cause I...
- And I put it out.Copy !req
241. Here. There's your rocket back.
I put it out.Copy !req
242. - I was here to help.
- I'm so tired of burned-up carpet.Copy !req
243. It's not my fault, Ape.
We were jamming music so much,Copy !req
244. we just wanted to rock it.Copy !req
245. I dare you to push that shit over.Copy !req
246. Unlock it!Copy !req
247. Unlock it, I'll let you out.
All right, buddy?Copy !req
248. I'm sorry. I love you, bro.Copy !req
249. Just unlock it. I'll get you out of there.Copy !req
250. Come on, Bam, unlock it.Copy !req
251. I so didn't even start.Copy !req
252. I'm so sorry, buddy.
I didn't mean to do it.Copy !req
253. You know, you just stirred up
so much shit in there.Copy !req
254. Oh, God!Copy !req
255. When we're shooting, everyone's
getting fucked with, all the time.Copy !req
256. Including myself.Copy !req
257. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
258. And it got a little much,
where Tremaine couldn't even...Copy !req
259. Couldn't even shoot anything on the set,
because I was just...Copy !req
260. I could not stop.Copy !req
261. Dude, sorry. Sorry, Jeff.Copy !req
262. It was so uncomfortable that ICopy !req
263. had to stand with my back to something,Copy !req
264. so I could just see
anything coming at me.Copy !req
265. Yeah, it's tough some days, man.Copy !req
266. This is a crab on a C-clamp.Copy !req
267. These C-clamps don't feel good,
especially on your ass.Copy !req
268. Or the back of the arm. Oh, my God!Copy !req
269. It's going to feel really bad
on the back of the arm.Copy !req
270. - Fuck!
- Fuck! Damn! Shit!Copy !req
271. - You've been crabbed!
- It's all right.Copy !req
272. I'd love to get crabs from Knoxville.Copy !req
273. - Bitch!
- Rolling.Copy !req
274. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
275. Fuck!Copy !req
276. Don't get me with that thing.
I think I got it enough.Copy !req
277. Dude, you want these things to the left?Copy !req
278. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.Copy !req
279. - I am fucking done. I'm fucking done.
- That's for the porta-potty.Copy !req
280. - I'm done.
- That's for the...Copy !req
281. - I'm fucking done.
- Here. Here!Copy !req
282. - Come here. I'll get it. I'll get it.
- Watch out.Copy !req
283. - Rape face! Rape face!
- He was stuck in the porta-potty.Copy !req
284. Oh, my God.Copy !req
285. - Kick his ass.
- Kick his ass, Preston, fuck!Copy !req
286. I'm done with that. I'm done.Copy !req
287. That's what I said. They play
too many practical jokes.Copy !req
288. You can't get no rest
around these guys.Copy !req
289. Don't fall asleep.Copy !req
290. Hell, no. You better not
fall asleep around Jackass.Copy !req
291. Best part wasCopy !req
292. when we sprayed him
with the water guns, in the cooler.Copy !req
293. Yeah, that was my best part, too.Copy !req
294. Well, we filled the water guns up
with pee, and we sprayed everybody.Copy !req
295. What's going on?Copy !req
296. I'm pissing into this water gun,Copy !req
297. and I'm going to jump in the cooler
and surprise the bros.Copy !req
298. - Where the beers at? Rock 'n' roll.
- I think it's one of those coolers.Copy !req
299. I really don't drink Miller, but I'm going
to have to make an exception.Copy !req
300. Get you a drink, man. Join the party.Copy !req
301. Captain Morgan on the house.Copy !req
302. - Oh, shit!
- Yeah, buddy!Copy !req
303. That don't taste like Captain Morgan!Copy !req
304. It tastes like piss.Copy !req
305. Drink up, buddy.Copy !req
306. - I think that was...
- Oh, man!Copy !req
307. Last time I checked, it was piss.Copy !req
308. Is this piss? Oh, it is piss, isn't it?Copy !req
309. Whose piss?
Get away from me, little guy.Copy !req
310. Don't waste it all.Copy !req
311. What about when the raft
went off in your Lambo?Copy !req
312. Oh, God. Yeah.Copy !req
313. A raft that instantly inflates to, like,Copy !req
314. ten by seven, or some shit,Copy !req
315. in a Lamborghini
where the window is this wide as it is.Copy !req
316. I can just see the whole...
The window was cracking,Copy !req
317. the sunroof was popping out.Copy !req
318. Yeah, I was like, "This sucks so bad."Copy !req
319. I think your windshield's messed up.Copy !req
320. Yeah, that was...Copy !req
321. Should have thought that one through
a little bit better, dudes.Copy !req
322. - I played, like, maybe two weeks ago.
- Do you honestly play?Copy !req
323. - Yeah.
- Really?Copy !req
324. - All right.
- What do you sayCopy !req
325. I bang one out of your ass?Copy !req
326. I think we can do it.Copy !req
327. - Let me try it out of your ass.
- Awesome.Copy !req
328. Let's get it... Put it in his ass.Copy !req
329. You guys are pricks.Copy !req
330. - All right.
- Pull up your cardigan.Copy !req
331. - Oh, my...
- All right.Copy !req
332. Let's see this kick-ass form
that you're talking about.Copy !req
333. - Oh, dude! Dude. Dude.
- Get me up!Copy !req
334. You okay?Copy !req
335. - You did good.
- You asshole, you didn't even try, man.Copy !req
336. - You suck at golf.
- No. It was good.Copy !req
337. - Show the camera your hole in the butt.
- Show the hole in the butt.Copy !req
338. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
339. That was great.Copy !req
340. Hey, sir. Would you mindCopy !req
341. driving a golf ball off my friend's crotch?Copy !req
342. If we get a long tee.Copy !req
343. - Can you hit one out of his pee-pee?
- Yeah, I'll try.Copy !req
344. Oh, man.Copy !req
345. - This is golfing.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
346. - Oh, man.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
347. - Oh, man.
- Try to get your face out of the way.Copy !req
348. Just take a deep breath. Easy up, bub.Copy !req
349. - All right?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
350. All right, sir. Do your worst.Copy !req
351. Best! Sorry.Copy !req
352. Oh, my God!Copy !req
353. - He hit it after it fell off.
- Dude, I saw the ballCopy !req
354. like an inch away from my face.Copy !req
355. Yeah, I don't know how he hit it
when it was falling.Copy !req
356. - That was great.
- Wow. Good hit.Copy !req
357. - Man.
- That was kick-ass.Copy !req
358. Please hit the idiots. Pass it on.Copy !req
359. - Hit the idiots. Pass it on.
- Please hit the idiots.Copy !req
360. Pass it on.Copy !req
361. You're going to get hit, midget.Copy !req
362. There went one.Copy !req
363. Man, these guys are...Copy !req
364. Hit them!Copy !req
365. Look at Wee Man.Copy !req
366. What jerks.Copy !req
367. Wow.Copy !req
368. - He got it right in the dick.
- Was it good?Copy !req
369. That's great.Copy !req
370. So one of the things that led
to the making of Number TwoCopy !req
371. was when I went to Russia
with the Wildboyz,Copy !req
372. and Tremaine saw that
I was pretty excited to shoot.Copy !req
373. And the first thing I shot in Russia was
when we went to Saint PetersburgCopy !req
374. and there was some Russian
sex museum/prostate exam clinic.Copy !req
375. "Oh great! That sounds great!
Yeah, let's go shoot it tomorrow! Great!"Copy !req
376. But then when we got there,
they told me what they wanted me to do.Copy !req
377. Holy...Copy !req
378. You're just going to go face-first.Copy !req
379. - You can put off your trousers.
- You want my trousers?Copy !req
380. Yes. And we shall observe you.Copy !req
381. Come here, and put on your knees.Copy !req
382. - Okay. Do I need to lose the boxers?
- Just... Just...Copy !req
383. Sometime later. Just... Now you are...Copy !req
384. - Okay.
- Knees here.Copy !req
385. - Okay.
- Knees here.Copy !req
386. And elbows. Elbows here.Copy !req
387. And also,
you have to put off your trousers.Copy !req
388. - Just enough.
- No Sacagawea.Copy !req
389. Just enough. These nurses
may do the massage of prostate.Copy !req
390. - What? What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
391. So... No, wait a second!
Why is he doing it?Copy !req
392. - It's the...
- It is a special doctor procedure.Copy !req
393. It may... Only the doctor can
do the massage of prostate.Copy !req
394. Not nurse, but doctor.Copy !req
395. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
396. You guys just did
the fucking Texas switch.Copy !req
397. You told me the nurse was going to...Copy !req
398. - Rectal examination for prostate...
- I don't care about...Copy !req
399. I don't care about a massage
from the doc.Copy !req
400. But, it must be done by doctor.Copy !req
401. Calm down.Copy !req
402. - There's no calming down.
- No, no. There is. You're fine.Copy !req
403. - That's too far.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
404. - All right, he's got to stop. It hurts.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
405. Does it feel good?Copy !req
406. - No, it doesn't feel good.
- It's a massage.Copy !req
407. Let's... Don't make eye contact.Copy !req
408. Tell the doc not to make eye contact.Copy !req
409. - Just relax, and try to enjoy it.
- Relax. Try to enjoy, yes?Copy !req
410. That will do. That will do. That's all.Copy !req
411. - That's good.
- That's all.Copy !req
412. Oh, my God. He put two digits in you.Copy !req
413. - Come on, that felt good, right?
- You are the champion.Copy !req
414. - You are.
- Boy, did I get roped into this one.Copy !req
415. - You are the champion.
- I won nothing!Copy !req
416. You're the champion.Copy !req
417. I'm having a great time here.Copy !req
418. - Am I okay?
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
419. It's okay. There is no big problem,
but some...Copy !req
420. Little loose in your prostate.Copy !req
421. He's loose.Copy !req
422. After I was anally probed
by a device and a full-grown man...Copy !req
423. Hello, ma'am.Copy !req
424. I...Copy !req
425. There was an idea for me to goCopy !req
426. donate sperm, so they could
you know, assessCopy !req
427. my virility.Copy !req
428. So, in this room, you are to masturbate,Copy !req
429. and to collect your sperm for analysis.Copy !req
430. For analysis. Please follow the nurse.Copy !req
431. Hi.Copy !req
432. How many times have we joked around
about going to a clinic together?Copy !req
433. You guys aren't coming in here.Copy !req
434. You guys are out.Copy !req
435. That's a very small cup.Copy !req
436. Yeah, but... Okay, I'll try to hit it.Copy !req
437. And so I went in a room,
and tried to, you know,Copy !req
438. give them the sperm they wanted.Copy !req
439. But it's tough when you got
four of your friends outside the doorCopy !req
440. listening to you try to give sperm.Copy !req
441. It really blows your concentration.Copy !req
442. Quit giggling!Copy !req
443. So, "golden nuggets"...Copy !req
444. I can't even get a fucking hard-on.Copy !req
445. And for those of you who don't know,
you can produce sperm with a softie.Copy !req
446. Just... You got to pull quick.Copy !req
447. So, you did it.Copy !req
448. It took forever.Copy !req
449. I don't know if you want to...
I kind of missed a little.Copy !req
450. Who wants to... Who's...Copy !req
451. No, no, come on... Hey! No! No!Copy !req
452. Look at him! Kosick's... Look at Kosick!Copy !req
453. - It was water.
- Funny joke.Copy !req
454. It's about Rick Kosick. It's called
Ricky Did the Boogie-Woogie.Copy !req
455. We met Ricky-Wicky
In the spring of '69Copy !req
456. He loved to dance the boogie-woogieCopy !req
457. And he boogie-woogied fineCopy !req
458. Now it's 1987
He's a little bit olderCopy !req
459. He's traded his Camaro
For a crimson Dodge...Copy !req
460. He boogie-woogie all night
Boogie...Copy !req
461. We went to do this thing
where Steve-O was going to getCopy !req
462. a condom bit out of his ass,Copy !req
463. from between his butt cheeks,
by a rattlesnake.Copy !req
464. A crazy one, too. The thing was gnarly,
and mad and mean.Copy !req
465. These are the fangs of the eastern
diamondback rattlesnake.Copy !req
466. - This is what injects the venom into you.
- There goes a little more.Copy !req
467. - That's great.
- Ready, Steve-O?Copy !req
468. Don't fuck with the eastern
diamondback rattlesnakeCopy !req
469. without wearing a condom.Copy !req
470. I'm Steve-O,
and this is the Rattlesnake Salad Toss.Copy !req
471. Move your ass that way.
You got it. There you go.Copy !req
472. Come back. Ass back. Ass back.Copy !req
473. - Back up.
- Why am I backing up to a rattlesnake?Copy !req
474. This is an experiment.Copy !req
475. It's so important to get a rattlesnake
to bite something out of my butt!Copy !req
476. All right. But you have to put
the condom towards the snake.Copy !req
477. That was nice.Copy !req
478. Bend down. Bend over. Bend over.Copy !req
479. He's still got the condom in his mouth.Copy !req
480. So after Jackass: The Movie,Copy !req
481. we started making a show called
Wildboyz with Chris and Steve-O,Copy !req
482. and we shot some of the most amazing
stuff we've ever made.Copy !req
483. And so one of the ideas
with Number Two was toCopy !req
484. recreate some of the best things
we shot for Wildboyz.Copy !req
485. Unfortunately, it didn't always work out.Copy !req
486. I'm Chris Pontius, and my day
is about to take a turn for the worse.Copy !req
487. Here's why.Copy !req
488. Chris, a snapping turtle's about
to bite your nose.Copy !req
489. Oh, Jesus...Copy !req
490. - Well, that fucking sucked.
- You got it good.Copy !req
491. Oh my God! You got it so good.Copy !req
492. Dude, you're like
Rudolph the Red-Nosed...Copy !req
493. Reindeer!Copy !req
494. That's so beautiful.Copy !req
495. T-nigs, that snapping turtle
tore him up, huh?Copy !req
496. Oh yeah! Guess what? If I was going
to do the snapping turtle thing,Copy !req
497. I wouldn't do it on my nose.Copy !req
498. Where would you do it?
On your pecker?Copy !req
499. Absolutely.Copy !req
500. So what became of that?
Did we even air that on the movie?Copy !req
501. - Or are we putting that in 2.5?
- Yeah.Copy !req
502. Jesus! That...Copy !req
503. All right.Copy !req
504. One of the most successful places
we ever went with Wildboyz was India.Copy !req
505. Jeff wanted to go back to India because,Copy !req
506. I don't know, that's where he found
his spirit animal or something.Copy !req
507. I don't know.Copy !req
508. India was awesome.Copy !req
509. It is a beautiful country filled with
rich culture and a wonderful heritage.Copy !req
510. No, I hated it,Copy !req
511. and I'm pretty sure I'm the fattest
person, ever, in the history of India.Copy !req
512. The production company got
about 20 other little people together.Copy !req
513. Hello, there.Copy !req
514. They probably didn't know
what they were gonna be doing.Copy !req
515. What's up? Wee Man.Copy !req
516. The next thing you know,
they're all getting painted blueCopy !req
517. and wearing orange wigs.Copy !req
518. And it was great. I've never been
with that many little people,Copy !req
519. filming one big thing at once,Copy !req
520. and it was awesome.Copy !req
521. We shot with the man with
the longest fingernails in the world.Copy !req
522. And he's been growing these things
for like, I don't know, 50 years.Copy !req
523. And he carries them around...
He puts, like, a bag over themCopy !req
524. that almost looks like
he's got a rifle in his hand.Copy !req
525. And so, he agreed to shoot with us.Copy !req
526. But he didn't really know
what Jackass was,Copy !req
527. and we didn't really know
what to do with him.Copy !req
528. It's Miller time.Copy !req
529. Oh, God.Copy !req
530. Oh, they're coming right off
his fingertips.Copy !req
531. He probably hasn't washed those things
in 50 years, O.Copy !req
532. Jesus!Copy !req
533. Steve-O, I told you no!
It offends the ladies!Copy !req
534. No, wait! Where you going?
You can't leave the set!Copy !req
535. I'm sorry, ladies.Copy !req
536. Thank you, Shridhar.Copy !req
537. Thank you, Shridhar.Copy !req
538. So we're in India, and I decide,Copy !req
539. "All right. Well, let's sort of combine
all the Indian stereotypes into one bit."Copy !req
540. So, we were like, "All right.
Let's get a bed of nails.Copy !req
541. "And let's get some snake charmers,
and, oh, shit, let's get an elephant,Copy !req
542. "put the elephant in the background."Copy !req
543. And so, one by one,
I'm going through each cast member.Copy !req
544. I'm like, "Hey, Steve-O, you wanna lay
on the bed of nails?"Copy !req
545. "Oh, no, dude, I did that for Wildboyz.
I don't wanna do that."Copy !req
546. Basically, it gets down to Ehren.
Ehren's always the last guy.Copy !req
547. And this one gets down to Ehren.
And he says no.Copy !req
548. And I'm like, "Ehren, please,
you're the last guy I can ask.Copy !req
549. "Just come over here and look at it."Copy !req
550. Go ahead and stick it up your ass.Copy !req
551. Dude, look at this. A rusty nail in India,
and he wants me to lay on that shit. No!Copy !req
552. - Why don't you sit on it and show us?
- I sat on it!Copy !req
553. And Trip sits on it, and he fucking gets
punctured with a rusty nail!Copy !req
554. Through his fucking hand!Copy !req
555. Tetanus here in India.
Are you kidding me?Copy !req
556. Fuck off!Copy !req
557. Crazy, dude. I ain't doing that shit.Copy !req
558. Bullshit.Copy !req
559. I'm Danger Ehren, and this is
the bed of nails, with snakes.Copy !req
560. You got it, Dange.Copy !req
561. Don't even worry about the cobras, man.
Chris has your back.Copy !req
562. - I do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
563. You got it, dude. This is... Just...Copy !req
564. Nice and even.Copy !req
565. This feels like it's gonna go
right up my ass.Copy !req
566. No, it isn't. Put your back...Copy !req
567. It's a bed, Danger.
You're supposed to lay on it.Copy !req
568. - Okay.
- Dude, right on your legs.Copy !req
569. On your legs.Copy !req
570. And then this one.Copy !req
571. Hold on!Copy !req
572. The more you spread your weight out,
the less it's gonna hurt.Copy !req
573. - Yeah, that's what you got to do.
- Put your leg down.Copy !req
574. Hold on!Copy !req
575. What don't you understand
about "put your leg down"?Copy !req
576. I'm on a bed of fucking nails, man!Copy !req
577. Fuck!Copy !req
578. Now on your turban, too.Copy !req
579. Put those motherfuckers on!Copy !req
580. Oh, shit!Copy !req
581. Relax, Ehren. They're just cobras.Copy !req
582. Oh, God. No, not between the legs!Copy !req
583. Oh! Fuck, man! No fucking way!Copy !req
584. There's a fucking snake on my chest,Copy !req
585. and I'm on nails right now.Copy !req
586. - Are you sad?
- I'm not happy.Copy !req
587. - But you like the music.
- Oh, this fucking hurts!Copy !req
588. Oh, shit. Shit.Copy !req
589. Get me off of here. Get me off of here.
I'm serious. Please.Copy !req
590. Please. I don't care... Please. Please.Copy !req
591. Jeff, get me the fuck off
of this bed of fucking nails right now.Copy !req
592. - Take the snakes off!
- All right, fine.Copy !req
593. Please...Copy !req
594. I'm so over this right now. Please.Copy !req
595. This is not fun!Copy !req
596. Seriously, I need to stop. Now!Copy !req
597. Please.Copy !req
598. - All right!
- Fuck!Copy !req
599. Fuck!Copy !req
600. - Want to do one more song?
- Wait... Wait, no.Copy !req
601. You got it, dude.Copy !req
602. All right, a round of applause.Copy !req
603. Wait, wait, wait. I still need help.Copy !req
604. - All right, dude.
- You do need help.Copy !req
605. You're gonna have to pull me up now.Copy !req
606. Seriously, don't drop me or anything.Copy !req
607. Oh, look at that.Copy !req
608. Holy moly!Copy !req
609. And remember, safety first.Copy !req
610. Jesus. I thought we were gonna
finally get rid of him.Copy !req
611. - All right!
- Yeah!Copy !req
612. The ultimate failed bit that we shot
for Number TwoCopy !req
613. was this bit that we shot for WildboyzCopy !req
614. where we got this gold
from this tribe called the Aghoris.Copy !req
615. The Aghoris are
this religious sect in IndiaCopy !req
616. that believe
they can reach enlightenmentCopy !req
617. by throwing themselves
into all things that are, like,Copy !req
618. bad, basically.Copy !req
619. They eat fucking human flesh.Copy !req
620. They steal dead bodies out of graves
and eat them.Copy !req
621. They want to antique you
with fucking cremated human ash.Copy !req
622. They really are a handful. Like, they'll
try to bite you, and suck your blood,Copy !req
623. and throw their pee on you,
and all this terrible stuff.Copy !req
624. Nobody went into it with a good attitude.Copy !req
625. Actually, nobody even went into it,Copy !req
626. except for me and Pontius
and Dave England.Copy !req
627. We saw these fucked-up dudes on TV
and we decided we had to meet them.Copy !req
628. Again.Copy !req
629. So the next thing I know,
I'm in a Wildboyz sandwich.Copy !req
630. I fucking had this dumb-ass shirt.Copy !req
631. I looked like a fucking tourist,
and I got flip-flops on,Copy !req
632. and I'm like, "What the fuck?"Copy !req
633. They were all these fucking creepy,
shitty, spastic, skinny Aghoris.Copy !req
634. They were out of control when we
filmed with them on Wildboyz.Copy !req
635. But they obviously knew it was a movie
this time around.Copy !req
636. It's like they really tried to step it up.Copy !req
637. Were those the same dudes
from Wildboyz?Copy !req
638. One of the guys takes out a knife
and he just starts slicing up his leg.Copy !req
639. And I was like, "Wow, that's cool."
Well, it's not really cool.Copy !req
640. And he comes over to us
with all the blood and, like...Copy !req
641. God. Yeah, we were like, "Fuck this."Copy !req
642. - Watch it, Dave! Watch it, Dave!
- Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
643. Don't, man!Copy !req
644. Dude, seriously, I have Aghori-phobia
and I can't handle this.Copy !req
645. Okay, what have you got? Guys, please.
He's got blood on his thumb.Copy !req
646. Yeah, that's...Copy !req
647. - No, no.
- All right! Back to... Everything's cool.Copy !req
648. Yeah, let's check some of that...Copy !req
649. Be very fucking careful, man.
Go drink that blood or some shit.Copy !req
650. Johnny, I'm gonna
fucking smack someone.Copy !req
651. Dave England's freaked out, and...
We all were. We were like...Copy !req
652. It was just a complete disaster.Copy !req
653. And then the next thing you know,
which I think is kind of weak,Copy !req
654. one of the gurus just pees in a cup
and he starts drinking it.Copy !req
655. And we're like, "Dude!
Drinking piss! That..."Copy !req
656. Fucking put it in a snow cone,
then maybe we'll talk.Copy !req
657. Welcome to the DVD extras section
of Jackass Number Two.Copy !req
658. Oh, my God.Copy !req
659. Yeah, so the Aghoris didn't work,
and I decided at that point,Copy !req
660. "All right, we're not shooting any more
Wildboyz bits for Jackass."Copy !req
661. What's happening here today, Daniel?Copy !req
662. Well, we're gonna take this
40-millimeter grenade launcher,Copy !req
663. and put this specialty impact munition
called a REACT Impact.Copy !req
664. REACT stands for "Radiated Energy
Air-Cushioned Trajectile."Copy !req
665. It looks like Bam's dick.Copy !req
666. Show it!
Come on, pull it out, pull it out.Copy !req
667. - Come on.
- Come on, let's see it.Copy !req
668. - It's the same thing!
- How would you know?Copy !req
669. Look!Copy !req
670. You... Screw you guys!Copy !req
671. Bam can have that one.
I've got a new one.Copy !req
672. So we're gonna shoot this
at about 60 feet,Copy !req
673. and it should make a pretty nice impact.Copy !req
674. - What're we gonna shoot?
- You.Copy !req
675. You're gonna get shot with Bam's dick
in the ass.Copy !req
676. - Assume the position.
- Let's go.Copy !req
677. Are you ready for the first laugh
when this happens?Copy !req
678. Where'd it hit him?Copy !req
679. - It hit him in the butt!
- Where'd it hit him at?Copy !req
680. Oh, yeah, it hit me.Copy !req
681. - Right in the middle.
- But where was he hit?Copy !req
682. - Let's see.
- I'm not fucking with you.Copy !req
683. Yeah, we're not touching anything.Copy !req
684. - Where?
- Right there.Copy !req
685. Oh, right, underneath...Copy !req
686. - Yeah.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
687. How did Bam's dick feel on your ass?Copy !req
688. Oh, fuck. I ain't into that,
back-door shenanigans.Copy !req
689. - Where'd it hit you?
- Right there.Copy !req
690. - Oh, my...
- Oh, look at it now.Copy !req
691. Oh, dude, that looks awful.Copy !req
692. Oh, my God.Copy !req
693. Holy God.Copy !req
694. Oh, God.Copy !req
695. Oh, my God,
it's right next to your bean bag.Copy !req
696. Oh, my God.Copy !req
697. Did you have your bean bag out
when he shot?Copy !req
698. - Fuck, yeah.
- That's insane!Copy !req
699. - How're you doing today?
- I'm not stoked on the whole situation.Copy !req
700. - Why?
- Alligators piss me off.Copy !req
701. And then there's fucking barbed wire
above it. That sucks.Copy !req
702. And then we're going
in this tiny little holeCopy !req
703. with pigs that're gonna shit and piss.Copy !req
704. That sucks.Copy !req
705. Then we go through that, which is...
Gonna get hit by paintballs,Copy !req
706. by professional paintballers.Copy !req
707. That sucks.Copy !req
708. Then we have to drink a spittoon.Copy !req
709. And, like, I already have
a barfing problem.Copy !req
710. And then I'm gonna do that again
for sure, 'cause that's disgusting.Copy !req
711. This is the Cajun Obstacle Course!Copy !req
712. On your mark, set get, go!Copy !req
713. - Oh, shit!
- Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
714. Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
715. Oh, God.Copy !req
716. I didn't even touch it! I mean...Copy !req
717. Fuck it. I lose, man.Copy !req
718. Who drank it first?Copy !req
719. Bam did.Copy !req
720. All right. And the winner is Bam!Copy !req
721. Oh, right on the spit!Copy !req
722. Man, right on the spit.Copy !req
723. - Hold on.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
724. - Jeez.
- Just get fucking naked, Wee Man.Copy !req
725. Today is the worst day of my life.Copy !req
726. Throw a snake on that guy.Copy !req
727. I always thought my whole life that
most people could shit on command.Copy !req
728. I didn't think that was, like, a real...Copy !req
729. Some kind of quality
that only certain people had.Copy !req
730. I just thought... It's hard to pee
on command, pee in front of people,Copy !req
731. but for me,Copy !req
732. I can just whip my pants down and
take a shit pretty much any old time.Copy !req
733. I've made many people
puke from shitting.Copy !req
734. And I'm proud. And I consider myself
a professional shitter,Copy !req
735. which I think there's very few of.Copy !req
736. I'm sure there are some others
out there,Copy !req
737. but can you name one?Copy !req
738. Probably not.Copy !req
739. - Very nice...
- That's fucked up.Copy !req
740. - Are you really giving me a pee stain?
- A little bit. Jeff wanted one.Copy !req
741. Oh, that is sad. I have no dignity left.Copy !req
742. So you, in Number Two,
were a little old lady.Copy !req
743. What was it like, being a little old lady?Copy !req
744. I think I felt vulnerable as an old lady,Copy !req
745. both... Like, sexually, people looking
at my breasts, I felt vulnerable,Copy !req
746. and also, I felt like my bones
were more brittle,Copy !req
747. and something
could happen to me bad.Copy !req
748. Hi. Have we met before?Copy !req
749. - No.
- I don't want to meet.Copy !req
750. - Do you like sex?
- Hell, no!Copy !req
751. That's my boyfriend. Leave him alone.Copy !req
752. Oh, okay. All right.Copy !req
753. I loved shooting Old Man.Copy !req
754. You had to get up super early and
you get three hours of makeup,Copy !req
755. but it's so fun, 'cause I can go out
in the street and prank peopleCopy !req
756. like I did when the show began,
and no one recognizes me.Copy !req
757. No one recognizes this.Copy !req
758. It's a blessing and a burden.Copy !req
759. Hi. My name is Irving Zisman.Copy !req
760. This is my good friend Clyde Singleton,Copy !req
761. and today we're going to
take a test drive.Copy !req
762. Yeah.Copy !req
763. - Hi.
- Hello.Copy !req
764. - How're you, son?
- Are you here to see Daniel?Copy !req
765. - Yes, sir.
- I'm Daniel. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
766. Oh, hi, Daniel. I'm sorry.
How're you, son?Copy !req
767. I'm fine, thank you.Copy !req
768. Oh, she's a pretty one.Copy !req
769. - Can I take it for a spin?
- Of course, of course.Copy !req
770. - Here you are.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
771. - Starts right up.
- Very good.Copy !req
772. Where are you from?Copy !req
773. Born and raised in Los Angeles,
right here.Copy !req
774. - All right.
- Never been anywhere else.Copy !req
775. - It's a lovely city.
- It is, it's great.Copy !req
776. - Everything you need, close by.
- Yes.Copy !req
777. Watch out, watch out, watch out!Copy !req
778. Stop the car.Copy !req
779. What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
780. Just... Just stop the car, sir.Copy !req
781. What the fuck are you guys doing?Copy !req
782. - I'm sorry.
- Let's get the foot off the pedal.Copy !req
783. - I'm serious!
- Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
784. - You just smashed my cart!
- I'm sorry. He's an old man on...Copy !req
785. - What am I supposed to do?
- Score one for Dixie!Copy !req
786. You just let Bob Barker hit my cart!Copy !req
787. What're you doing?Copy !req
788. It's not me, sir. I'm sorry. I didn't...Copy !req
789. - I'm shocked, too, right now.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
790. - What did you say, boy?
- Look at this! You let this dude drive?Copy !req
791. Come on, dude! You let him drive.
You let him drive the car.Copy !req
792. Can I get some reparation cans?Copy !req
793. I had no control. You saw what
happened after he slammed.Copy !req
794. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
795. I got chili on my nose!Copy !req
796. This one bit we shot,
The Construction Site.Copy !req
797. I wrote it...
I wanted to do The Deconstruction.Copy !req
798. You know, I'd go to a construction site,Copy !req
799. and whatever they were working on,
I would fuck it up.Copy !req
800. If they're hanging drywall,
I knock it down.Copy !req
801. Shit.Copy !req
802. If they're laying out floors,
I bust the floor.Copy !req
803. Where'd you get this shit from?Copy !req
804. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
805. There he is now!Copy !req
806. - We had a really good spot...
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
807. and I walk in,
and everyone's on their lunch break.Copy !req
808. So no one's wanting to deal
with an old man,Copy !req
809. so I really have to work
to get their attention.Copy !req
810. Hey, there's a bathroom
outside over here.Copy !req
811. So you really peed?Copy !req
812. Oh, yeah. I peed a lot!Copy !req
813. I mean, they were on lunch.
I had to do something.Copy !req
814. I couldn't pull a Dave England,
'cause I don't have that gift.Copy !req
815. Hey, sir, excuse me,
you can't do that in here.Copy !req
816. There's a bathroom down there.Copy !req
817. Oh, thank you, son, I'm done now.Copy !req
818. Okay, we're gonna go outside.
We're gonna go outside.Copy !req
819. We are outside!Copy !req
820. We're gonna go outside, sir,
we're gonna go outside.Copy !req
821. We're gonna go outside. Come on.Copy !req
822. - I'm coming.
- Come on.Copy !req
823. Whoa! Whoa! God damn it.Copy !req
824. Let's go outside.Copy !req
825. - Come on, let's go.
- Hey... Hey, let go of me!Copy !req
826. Whoa! Wow.Copy !req
827. God damn it.
You don't got to manhandle me.Copy !req
828. - Oh, I bet you fellows like this, huh?
- We don't want you to get hurt.Copy !req
829. Well, somebody's gonna get hurt
and it ain't gonna be me,Copy !req
830. you keep manhandling me like this.Copy !req
831. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
832. Oh, my back.Copy !req
833. Oh, now...Copy !req
834. Big man.Copy !req
835. Big man!Copy !req
836. Punks.Copy !req
837. What is this?Copy !req
838. Why do you have a camera on you?Copy !req
839. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
840. The impression I got from watching
the whole crew work todayCopy !req
841. was that you guys
had never shot before.Copy !req
842. We had Jeffrey Ross with us,Copy !req
843. who is a comedian
who loves to just tear people apart.Copy !req
844. So it was a great idea to put him
right behind me in the van.Copy !req
845. Tremaine loves... He's...Copy !req
846. First of all, he has a cell phone
in one hand, an earpiece, a walkie,Copy !req
847. and he's driving. And he's directing!Copy !req
848. Jump up and down. Yeah.Copy !req
849. Wait. Mike! Mike! Mike!Copy !req
850. What am I gonna do, dude?Copy !req
851. You should have moved it
like a pickup basketball game.Copy !req
852. Who's around? Let's see who's around.
Maybe we'll get some good shit.Copy !req
853. It's like watching a bunch
of retards play poker in the dark.Copy !req
854. But at the end
we got the footage we needed.Copy !req
855. I mean, there was really
no rhyme or reason...Copy !req
856. Yeah, you can cut that together
into a DVD extra.Copy !req
857. Ouch!Copy !req
858. Are you really peeing? Oh, my God.Copy !req
859. - Is it working? Am I hitting anything?
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
860. Oh, my God!Copy !req
861. It hurts to... I'm just gonna save it.Copy !req
862. - You fucking asshole!
- Oh, my God! Here! Here, here!Copy !req
863. No, no! Let go! Oh, no, no!
My good scarf!Copy !req
864. - My piss reeks.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
865. We're here with BMX legend
Mat Hoffman,Copy !req
866. and this is Mini Motorcycle Mayhem!Copy !req
867. Sorry, bro.Copy !req
868. I didn't see you there.
I thought you went over to produce.Copy !req
869. Dave! You knocked out my tooth again!Copy !req
870. Sorry, dude...Copy !req
871. We keep trying to get a good bit
with me dressed as a baby.Copy !req
872. And it's not happening.
I don't know what it is.Copy !req
873. We filmed this atrocityCopy !req
874. where we thought it'd be funny
if Wee Man was born.Copy !req
875. So we covered him with tomato sauce
and dressed him up as a baby.Copy !req
876. This is already fucking bullshit.Copy !req
877. - All right, Tremaine.
- Stop it. You need to be there.Copy !req
878. We had the lady
that made me disappear.Copy !req
879. We tried to have her sit on me.Copy !req
880. And then have her giving birth
to a Wee Man.Copy !req
881. Full speed once it's on
and then you get out of the way.Copy !req
882. - Oh, God.
- No! No! I can't breathe!Copy !req
883. Hold on, I can't breathe.
I can't breathe. Seriously.Copy !req
884. Up! Up! Help her!
Get her off my fucking ankle!Copy !req
885. It's in the ground, dude.Copy !req
886. No, dude, I can't do this, dude.
It's fucking...Copy !req
887. And it just... It was bad. It was horrible,
and it didn't happen.Copy !req
888. - This one, I'm ashamed.
- Okay, watch out.Copy !req
889. I'm just ashamed.Copy !req
890. In Number Two, we were obsessed
with doing a thing called The Poof,Copy !req
891. where you could see a fart.Copy !req
892. You had to put powder up the ass,
to fart and see it.Copy !req
893. But no one could fart
when they were supposed to.Copy !req
894. - I'm Johnny Knoxville.
- And I'm Wee Man.Copy !req
895. And this is The Poof.Copy !req
896. - All right.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
897. Yeah, right there.Copy !req
898. Baby needs a little powder.Copy !req
899. Oh, baby needs a lot of powder.
It's really wet back there.Copy !req
900. Okay, this is completely between bros.
This is for the bit.Copy !req
901. - I'm just going to spread them a little.
- Wee, turn your head.Copy !req
902. - Okay.
- Okay, wait, wait, wait! Let it die down.Copy !req
903. Not yet. Let it die down.Copy !req
904. - Okay.
- Ready?Copy !req
905. I might shit.Copy !req
906. - I might shit. Hold on.
- Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
907. Wait, I'm supposed to get
enough in there to, like...Copy !req
908. Okay, here goes, here it goes.Copy !req
909. I'm afraid I might shit, seriously.Copy !req
910. God damn!Copy !req
911. No, that's not the goal!Copy !req
912. What? Did baby make a boom-boom?Copy !req
913. Did the baby... You little rascal!Copy !req
914. God!Copy !req
915. I told you.Copy !req
916. Baby doesn't need
to make a boom-boom!Copy !req
917. Now who wants to change
baby's diaper?Copy !req
918. You see that?Copy !req
919. I told you I had to poop.Copy !req
920. So we really couldn't get anyone to fart
on command. We kept trying,Copy !req
921. until finally
Knoxville came up with the ideaCopy !req
922. to force some air
up one of the cast members' asses.Copy !req
923. Poor Mike Judge.Copy !req
924. I call him and ask him will he be
in the movie, and he's like, "Sure!"Copy !req
925. "So, well, come by my house tomorrow.
We're shooting a few things."Copy !req
926. And boy, did he walk in
at the wrong time.Copy !req
927. He makes...Copy !req
928. Like, King of the Hill,
he made Beavis and Butt-Head, and...Copy !req
929. He got pulled into it.
I don't know what his role in it was.Copy !req
930. Just being there,
you're guilty by association.Copy !req
931. You know, once you're there,Copy !req
932. I guess you don't wanna be
a party-pooper.Copy !req
933. So I ended up pumping a fireplace
bellows up a man's butt.Copy !req
934. I was thinking, this is usuallyCopy !req
935. the kind of thing you have to do
to get into show business,Copy !req
936. or at the beginning of your career,Copy !req
937. and I mean,
I've accomplished all this stuff,Copy !req
938. and there I am...Copy !req
939. I just got to be more careful, I guess.Copy !req
940. We're with Mike Judge
and it's time for The Butt Bellows.Copy !req
941. No one wants to do this at all,
so we're going to draw reeds of grassCopy !req
942. to see who has to get it up their bum.Copy !req
943. - All right.
- Okay?Copy !req
944. - I'm after Knox.
- Okay. I'm after Pontius, then.Copy !req
945. - That's it. He gets the camera.
- Yes!Copy !req
946. Let's see who's got the smallest.Copy !req
947. - Preston!
- Preston!Copy !req
948. Ready, everyone? Okay, let's do it.Copy !req
949. Excuse me.Copy !req
950. You got to be... Do it slow. Do it...Copy !req
951. I just...Copy !req
952. He hasn't put it in yet, Preston.Copy !req
953. I'm just gonna spread your butt cheeks,
okay? Wee Man's gotta find the hole.Copy !req
954. Hey, Mike.Copy !req
955. Is that it?Copy !req
956. Oh, yeah, it's in my butt hole.Copy !req
957. I guess I have to look, dude.Copy !req
958. - Do you feel wind?
- Slow, Mike!Copy !req
959. Yeah, I know, but there is a hole.Copy !req
960. - Do you feel like you have to fart?
- Yeah.Copy !req
961. - I'll try to fart.
- Okay, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
962. - Do you have to, Preston?
- No.Copy !req
963. - No? Okay, keep on pumping.
- I'm trying.Copy !req
964. Let's go back in.Copy !req
965. What about a straw?Copy !req
966. Who's gonna blow a straw
up one of their bros' butts?Copy !req
967. Well, Steve-O's probably
done that before.Copy !req
968. Easy does it!Copy !req
969. To the left, to the left, to the left!Copy !req
970. Not... The other left!Copy !req
971. - To the fucking left!
- Camera left, you dipshit!Copy !req
972. - That is the left!
- That's right!Copy !req
973. - That's... Right, then!
- That's his left.Copy !req
974. Yeah, but the straw's bending
to the right.Copy !req
975. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
976. - Does it have to go in a little bit more?
- A little bit more.Copy !req
977. - All right, I'm gonna stick it straight in.
- Jesus!Copy !req
978. - You got to relax.
- I can't.Copy !req
979. I've never had this much trouble
forcing something into someone's ass.Copy !req
980. You're gonna get blood.Copy !req
981. - I'm gonna blow in the straw.
- Blow! Blow!Copy !req
982. Fill him up.Copy !req
983. I can't really blow, dude.Copy !req
984. We are trying to seal...Copy !req
985. Oh, my God.Copy !req
986. He farted on him! He farted on him!Copy !req
987. Oh, my God.Copy !req
988. Preston, way to go!Copy !req
989. - Preston! Preston!
- Preston! Preston!Copy !req
990. I've wanted to work with Mike Judge
my whole life.Copy !req
991. Ever since I've been in this business.Copy !req
992. But I never thought it would be in the
capacity of him running air up my ass.Copy !req
993. Now, there's one thingCopy !req
994. most of you men will be able to say
when you get back home.Copy !req
995. And you may thank God for it.Copy !req
996. Thirty years from now,
when you're sitting around your fireside,Copy !req
997. with your grandson on your knee,Copy !req
998. and he says, "Grandpa, what did you do
in the great Jackass Number Two?"Copy !req
999. Well, you won't have to say,
"I ate shit down in Louisiana."Copy !req
1000. 'Cause that was Dave England.Copy !req
1001. All right, you sons of bitches.Copy !req
1002. Now you know how I feel.Copy !req
1003. What do you say we hit the showers?Copy !req
1004. That was horrible!Copy !req
1005. Film the poo, Rick.Copy !req
1006. - Rick, film the poo.
- I'm filming the fucking poo!Copy !req
1007. - You're the fucking...
- I'm not getting any closer!Copy !req
1008. - Oh, gross!
- Rick, film the poo, dude.Copy !req
1009. Rick, film the poo!Copy !req
1010. Rick, film the...Copy !req
1011. And the spaghetti sauce.
I mean, the whole deal.Copy !req
1012. I'm Wee Man, and this is The Leapfrog.Copy !req
1013. Damn!Copy !req
1014. - Shit!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
1015. Oh, God.Copy !req
1016. You didn't see that coming!Copy !req
1017. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
1018. Safe!Copy !req
1019. Yeah, bro!Copy !req
1020. That feels awful.Copy !req
1021. I'm alive! I'm alive!Copy !req
1022. I have to give an apology to
Jeff Tremaine, the director of the movie,Copy !req
1023. because I'm a total piece of work
once again,Copy !req
1024. and I still have a half a bottle...Copy !req
1025. - You have to say sorry now, buddy!
- Fucking motherfucker.Copy !req
1026. At this point, I don't even care.Copy !req
1027. When the day is done
When the sun goes downCopy !req
1028. When the children fryCopy !req
1029. When the mothers frownCopy !req
1030. When the blood is spilledCopy !req
1031. And when the knives are drawnCopy !req
1032. When the blood is spilledCopy !req
1033. And your body shakesCopy !req
1034. And your bones will chillCopy !req
1035. You see a ghostCopy !req
1036. My God, I've seen a ghostCopy !req
1037. Yeah.Copy !req
1038. It's for the kids.Copy !req
1039. What song do you have down?Copy !req
1040. No sweat It's just a ghostCopy !req