1. ! Vuela la conga, muchachos!
Copy !req
2. !Conga! Conga!
Copy !req
3. - God!
- So bloated.
Copy !req
4. - She's bingeing.
- Bingeing? She's fat.
Copy !req
5. Honey?
Copy !req
6. Whew! I thought
I lost ya, honey.
Copy !req
7. - God, I think it's a thyroid problem.
- I think she's just fat.
Copy !req
8. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
9. What's wrong?
What's wrong, honey?
Copy !req
10. - It's too soon.
- Oh. Oh! Josh, come here!
Copy !req
11. Hold on, honey. Easy. Easy.
Copy !req
12. - Brian, what's happening?
- Help!
Copy !req
13. - I'm only in the first trimester.
- Help!
Copy !req
14. Would someone please help?
We have an emergency here. I think—
Copy !req
15. - Yeah, call the doctor.
- Um, please, could you call Dr Benfante?
Copy !req
16. - Help.
- Calm down. Now, now.
Copy !req
17. - Huh?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Help me!
Copy !req
18. - Help me.
- Over here. One at a time.
Copy !req
19. Dr Brandon—
Copy !req
20. - Come on, now!
- Put it over here.
Copy !req
21. - No, I don't have anything!
- Put it in the tray.
- Honey, it's your tin.
Copy !req
22. Huh? Oh!
Copy !req
23. Okay.
Copy !req
24. - It's okay.
- No smoking in the hospital.
- No, no. No smoking in here.
Copy !req
25. Put that out.
Copy !req
26. I'm gonna quit tomorrow.
I swear.
Copy !req
27. No, no, sideways.
Come through— Tha-That's it.
Copy !req
28. - When are you due, ma'am?
- N-Not for another seven months.
Copy !req
29. - Susan, wh-where's Dr Benfante?
- Brian, come here.
Copy !req
30. - Just hold my hand.
- There we go.
- The I.V. set?
Copy !req
31. - Have you had Lamaze?
- Uh, well, I haven't even
signed up for the course yet.
Copy !req
32. I'm only two months along.
Copy !req
33. - That's the epidural talking.
- She hasn't had an epidural.
Copy !req
34. What are you babbling about?
It's— It's too soon.
Copy !req
35. - It's too soon, Brian.
- Here he comes.
Copy !req
36. Okay, guys. Calm down.
Copy !req
37. - Take it easy.
Calm down, everybody. Calm down.
- And now a deep breath.
Copy !req
38. It's too early for contractions.
Copy !req
39. - Hold tight. Hold my hand, honey.
Hold my hand.
- All right.
Copy !req
40. - Let's just relax.
- That's right.
Copy !req
41. - Okay. Okay.
- Christ.
- Wait, wait.
Copy !req
42. - Wait, wait.
- You said, "Come back next week." Huh?
Copy !req
43. - Yeah.
- You said it was just fluid retention.
Copy !req
44. "Go home. Have fun."
Copy !req
45. - Yeah, I'm not having fun.
- Yeah, you gotta breathe.
Copy !req
46. Sonogram's fine, Doctor,
for a full-term pregnancy.
Copy !req
47. - Doc, what's going on?
- Okay, it's really important
that you relax and breathe.
Copy !req
48. - She's fully dilated.
- It's gonna be all right.
Copy !req
49. - Now you're gonna push.
- Push, okay? Yes.
- No. It's too soon.
Copy !req
50. - Push hard. Push. Hold it. Hold it.
- Push. Push. Push.
Copy !req
51. - Good girl.
- Give it all you got.
- No, it's too soon!
Copy !req
52. - One more time.
- One more deep breath.
- Deep breath in.
Copy !req
53. - One more. Deep breath.
- And out.
- Push.
Copy !req
54. Push.
Copy !req
55. Look at that.
You've got a baby.
Copy !req
56. It's a beautiful,
beautiful boy.
Copy !req
57. Hey there, bud.
Copy !req
58. Hi.
Copy !req
59. - Don't rust up on me now.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
60. We'll call him Jack.
Copy !req
61. What you gonna be
when you grow up
Copy !req
62. What you gonna do
when your time is up
Copy !req
63. What you gonna say
when things go wrong
Copy !req
64. What you gonna do
when it's all over
Copy !req
65. There's a road
Copy !req
66. Long and windin'
Copy !req
67. The lights are blindin'
Copy !req
68. But it gets there
Copy !req
69. Don't give up
Copy !req
70. Don't look back
Copy !req
71. There's a silver linin'
Copy !req
72. It's out there somewhere
Copy !req
73. Everybody wants an answer
Copy !req
74. Everybody needs a friend
Copy !req
75. We all need a shining star
Copy !req
76. On which we can depend
Copy !req
77. So tonight we're gonna wish
Copy !req
78. Upon a star
Copy !req
79. We never wished upon before
Copy !req
80. What you gonna be
when you grow up
Copy !req
81. - To find what you're lookin' for
- What you gonna do when your time is up
Copy !req
82. There'll be times
Copy !req
83. In your life
Copy !req
84. Yeah, when you'll
be dancing and shit
Copy !req
85. But you ain't gettin' it
Copy !req
86. Don't get disillusioned
Copy !req
87. No, don't expect too much
Copy !req
88. 'Cause if what you have
is all you can get
Copy !req
89. Just keep on tryin'
It just ain't happened yet
Copy !req
90. Everybody wants to be a winner
Copy !req
91. Everybody has a dream
Copy !req
92. We all need a shining star
Copy !req
93. When things ain't what they seem
Copy !req
94. So tonight we're gonna
wish upon a star
Copy !req
95. We never wished upon before
Copy !req
96. I'm sorry this
has taken so long.
Copy !req
97. Like you, we're puzzled
by your son's premature birth.
Copy !req
98. This is Dr Lin. He's an
infant disorder specialist from Cornell.
Copy !req
99. I want to assure you both that
there is nothing debilitating
about your son's condition.
Copy !req
100. He's totally healthy
and normal in appearance...
Copy !req
101. alert and quite happy.
Copy !req
102. However, his cells are
developing at what we feel...
Copy !req
103. is four times the normal rate.
Copy !req
104. Even though your son was only
ten weeks old when he was born...
Copy !req
105. physically he was nine months
and ready to leave your womb.
Copy !req
106. Nature has given us all
an internal clock.
Copy !req
107. It meters out lifespan,
controls our growth.
Copy !req
108. Your son's internal clock...
Copy !req
109. seems to be ticking
faster than usual.
Copy !req
110. - But he's healthy?
- Absolutely.
Copy !req
111. I'm sorry.
I still don't understand.
Copy !req
112. I've never heard
anything like this before.
Copy !req
113. Well, quite frankly,
neither have we.
Copy !req
114. There are other aging syndromes
that we know of.
Copy !req
115. Progeria, for example, which is
very devastating to the child, but—
Copy !req
116. Jack's cells are replicating
at an unheard of rate.
Copy !req
117. Is he gonna age like this
the rest of his life?
Copy !req
118. Well, sir, this is
only speculation...
Copy !req
119. but, uh, we feel that
at age one...
Copy !req
120. your son may be physically
around age four.
Copy !req
121. And if this continues
throughout his life...
Copy !req
122. by the time he reaches
age ten, well, he could—
Copy !req
123. Appear to be
an ordinary, full-grown...
Copy !req
124. 40-year-old man.
Copy !req
125. Are you serious?
Copy !req
126. That's where he lives, right
down the street my whole life...
Copy !req
127. and I didn't even know about it.
Copy !req
128. I don't believe any of it.
He's lying.
Copy !req
129. Yeah. He's not a monster.
There's no such thing.
Copy !req
130. I'm telling you.
He's our age, but he looks 40.
Copy !req
131. All hairy and everything.
He's like a freak or something.
Copy !req
132. Just like in that one movie.
Copy !req
133. - Which movie?
- Duh! The one—
Copy !req
134. - Sorry.
- The one with the freak in it.
What did I just say?
Copy !req
135. Oh. Oh, yeah, I-I saw that one.
Copy !req
136. You didn't see it. His mom wouldn't
let him see it 'cause he has nightmares.
Copy !req
137. - I mean you no harm.
- Why haven't we ever seen him then?
Copy !req
138. I heard he's got
all kinds of toys too.
Copy !req
139. His parents buy him everything.
Copy !req
140. If he's our age,
why ain't he in school?
Copy !req
141. Because he's dangerous.
He's huge enough to hurt other kids.
Copy !req
142. That's why they keep him locked up.
Copy !req
143. Friend.
Copy !req
144. - What do you see?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
145. A teacher comes
to his house every day.
Copy !req
146. Jack, you're not paying attention.
Copy !req
147. - Jack, you're not paying attention.
- Don't be afraid.
Copy !req
148. I saw him in the store
with his mom.
Copy !req
149. I thought it was her husband at first,
but he's like a giant boy.
Copy !req
150. - He shaves and stuff.
- There's no such thing as giants.
Copy !req
151. Well, how'd he get like that?
Copy !req
152. Maybe his mom took drugs.
Copy !req
153. Maybe it was that fertility junk,
and she was gonna have quintuplets...
Copy !req
154. but just turned into
one big baby.
Copy !req
155. - Doof.
- Oh, he sleeps up there.
Copy !req
156. He's a monstrosity.
That's why they hide him.
Copy !req
157. No wonder they keep him
outta school.
Copy !req
158. Maybe they got him chained up.
Copy !req
159. Maybe they only let him loose
once a day to eat.
Copy !req
160. Is that like a big pile
of bones in his backyard?
Copy !req
161. - Where? Uh, what?
I-I don't see anything.
- Look!
Copy !req
162. Look!
Copy !req
163. Look out!
Copy !req
164. Come on, Louis!
Copy !req
165. - We gotta— We gotta get outta here!
- Oh, gross!
Copy !req
166. Come on, Louis!
He's watching you! Come on!
Copy !req
167. Come on!
Copy !req
168. Ow. Ow.
Copy !req
169. - What happened? What'd you do?
Where does it hurt?
- Ow!
Copy !req
170. - My knee.
- Let me see.
Copy !req
171. Well, it's not bleeding. Okay.
Copy !req
172. - It's not?
- I can fix it for you.
- Okay.
Copy !req
173. - I'll bite it.
- No, no. No, don't bite it.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
174. - I really do. I have to bite it.
- Don't.
Copy !req
175. - Yeah?
- It'll get infected.
- Oh, okay.
Copy !req
176. But this leg has got to come off.
I'll get your father's saw.
Copy !req
177. No, no. No, no, don't get that.
Copy !req
178. I saw— I saw your butt.
Copy !req
179. - Yeah, you did.
- Sorry.
Copy !req
180. Let's see.
Copy !req
181. - What do you hear?
- Nothing. It's okay.
Copy !req
182. - How about the toes?
- The toes are okay. I can feel that.
Copy !req
183. - Here?
- I can feel that.
- How about that?
Copy !req
184. - That's o— That's—
- Yeah? That's much better?
Copy !req
185. Oh, go—
Copy !req
186. - Now—
- That feels good now.
Copy !req
187. - I told you about those laces, champ.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
188. - So, where were we?
- History.
Copy !req
189. History. Okay.
Copy !req
190. So, by the time he was 18...
Copy !req
191. the young Alexander
had already conquered
most of the Greek city states...
Copy !req
192. and some feel that
he had learned everything...
Copy !req
193. from his tutor, Aristotle.
Copy !req
194. Jack.
Copy !req
195. - Jack.
- Hmm?
Copy !req
196. - What did I just say?
- Aristotle.
Copy !req
197. - Where's Aristotle?
- Book.
Copy !req
198. - Where's Jack?
- Outside.
Copy !req
199. I think what you have
set up here is wonderful.
Copy !req
200. I'm not trying to take
anything away from that.
Copy !req
201. I know you're not.
Copy !req
202. But to say that Jack should start
going to public school is crazy.
Copy !req
203. Yeah, but because
a person is different...
Copy !req
204. you can't make
an outcast of him.
Copy !req
205. But we'll talk to the principal.
Copy !req
206. The principal will prepare
the students.
Copy !req
207. Mr Woodruff,
he's got a 5:00 shadow.
Copy !req
208. I don't think he can fit in.
I wish he could.
Copy !req
209. But nobody said
it would be easy.
Copy !req
210. Jack's developed defence mechanisms just
like any child with a shortcoming does.
Copy !req
211. I appreciate what
you're trying to do...
Copy !req
212. but Brian and I,
we've seen how people react.
Copy !req
213. We've been through this before.
Copy !req
214. I just don't want Jack...
Copy !req
215. to have to face that.
Copy !req
216. Look at his eyes.
Copy !req
217. His child's eyes.
Copy !req
218. Look at his eyes
when he sees other children.
Copy !req
219. His life moves faster than ours,
and he wants to lead a full life...
Copy !req
220. and I don't think you
ought to let it pass him by.
Copy !req
221. It's not fair.
Copy !req
222. - Marco.
- Polo.
Copy !req
223. I've found you now.
Copy !req
224. - Got ya!
- Gotta touch me!
Copy !req
225. Would you two
knock it off up there!
Copy !req
226. "You better knock it off up there!"
Copy !req
227. - Marco.
- Polo.
Copy !req
228. Gotcha! You're it!
Copy !req
229. Oh, honey. Are you okay?
Copy !req
230. Yeah, I'm okay.
Copy !req
231. You know, if something's wrong,
Jackie, you can tell me.
Copy !req
232. Mr Woodruff mentioned
something today.
Copy !req
233. What, honey? Huh?
Copy !req
234. You can tell me.
Copy !req
235. Mom, am I a giant?
Copy !req
236. No, of course not!
Copy !req
237. - Where did you hear that?
- Is that why I don't go to school?
Copy !req
238. Honey, I've told you.
It's lots of things.
Copy !req
239. What things?
Copy !req
240. We'll talk about this, okay?
Copy !req
241. When?
Copy !req
242. - Well, not right now. It's time for bed.
- Time for bed.
Copy !req
243. - Brush your teeth. Put down the lid.
- Brush your teeth. Put down the lid.
Copy !req
244. Good night, Mom.
Copy !req
245. Woodruff doesn't know
what he's talking about.
Copy !req
246. If he doesn't know what
he's talking about, then why
are we paying him all this money...
Copy !req
247. to tutor Jack?
Copy !req
248. I blame him, filling Jack's head
with all these ideas of going to school.
Copy !req
249. Imagine that.
Copy !req
250. A teacher wanting a kid
to go to school, hmm?
Copy !req
251. Where do they get such ideas?
Copy !req
252. That's how we do it?
Copy !req
253. Just throw him into school?
Copy !req
254. - Mm-hmm.
- You know how children are.
Copy !req
255. They make fun of
the fat kid and...
Copy !req
256. the kid who wears glasses.
Copy !req
257. What do you think they're gonna do
to a six-foot, hairy kid?
Copy !req
258. Mom, Dad.
Copy !req
259. Jackie? You okay, honey?
Copy !req
260. - Something wrong?
- Oh, I'm okay.
Copy !req
261. Just can't sleep.
I had a scary dream.
Copy !req
262. Can I sleep in here?
Copy !req
263. Uh, yeah. Of course, buddy.
Copy !req
264. Stimpy too?
Copy !req
265. - Sure.
- Okay.
Copy !req
266. Oh. Hey. Easy.
Copy !req
267. Okay.
Copy !req
268. Hey, come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
269. - Jackie. Go to sleep.
- Okay.
Copy !req
270. - Good night, Mom.
- Good night, sweetie.
Copy !req
271. Good night, Dad.
Copy !req
272. You sure he's ready for school?
Copy !req
273. Jackie'll be fine.
Copy !req
274. It's the rest of the world
I'm worried about.
Copy !req
275. Taking a look at traffic
approaching the Bay Bridge, not too bad.
Copy !req
276. The metering lights have been
switched on at the toll plaza.
Copy !req
277. The wait begins right about
the Oakland army base right now.
Copy !req
278. Marin County is under fog,
but the driving's at the speed limit...
Copy !req
279. down and across the Golden Gate Bridge
as you make your way into the city.
Copy !req
280. That's traffic.
Back to you, Rick.
Copy !req
281. Hey, it's Rick the Lip with you
on the "Z" Morning Zoo.
Copy !req
282. Another beautiful one out there
in the city by the bay.
Copy !req
283. And guess what.
We're still here.
Copy !req
284. How about that little wake-up call
that happened this morning at 5:00?
Copy !req
285. - Only 3.2 on the Richter scale,
but I tell you what...
- 3.2!
Copy !req
286. it was a big fat 10
on the scared-the-hell-outta-me scale.
Copy !req
287. - Didn't scare me!
- This man hasn't shaken
so much since I was single.
Copy !req
288. Hey, hey, you got someplace
to be at 7:00?
Copy !req
289. - Yeah, Rick, I gotta be at school!
- You're kidding. You're late.
Copy !req
290. - 7:05.
- I'm late?
- Get yourself outta bed.
Copy !req
291. - I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
- You got a whole day out there
waitin' for ya.
Copy !req
292. - Go! Yeah!
- I'm livin' it. Let's go!
- I'm livin' it, too, Rick!
Copy !req
293. - Let's do it, people.
- I'm gettin' to it, Rick!
Copy !req
294. Misunderstood
Got an—
Copy !req
295. I hate that song.
Copy !req
296. - There you go. Easy.
- Dad, let me do this on my own, okay?
Copy !req
297. - Well, just—
- Watch.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Copy !req
298. But ta— Take it easy.
Take it easy.
Copy !req
299. - Dad, I— Dad, Dad.
- Okay. Okay, just—
Okay, hold it. Hold it.
Copy !req
300. - Let me help you. Oh!
- Ow! Dad!
Copy !req
301. - Here. Oops. Put this little Kleenex—
- Okay, put that there.
Copy !req
302. - Ah. Okay.
- Okay. Thank you.
Copy !req
303. Let me just get
that last little part there.
Copy !req
304. - Yeah, just finish up...
- Okay.
- and come on down.
Copy !req
305. - Okay.
- Hurry up.
Copy !req
306. - You psyched?
- Psyched.
- Okay.
Copy !req
307. Oh, wow.
Look at all those kids.
Copy !req
308. - Just remember, you can come
home anytime you want to.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
309. - Okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Copy !req
310. I'm okay. Thanks, Dad.
Copy !req
311. Hold it, Jack!
Copy !req
312. Come here. Let me get this.
Okay. Here we go.
Copy !req
313. - Come on.
- I pledge allegiance to the flag...
Copy !req
314. of the United States of America.
Copy !req
315. - And to the republic—
- Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Copy !req
316. - One nation, under God—
- Thank you, Mr and Mrs Powell and Jack.
Copy !req
317. Jack, how nice to see you.
Copy !req
318. I'm Mr McGee.
I've heard so much about you, Jack.
Copy !req
319. - Hello, Mr Magoo.
- McGee.
Copy !req
320. - Oh. McGee.
- Yes.
- Magoo.
Copy !req
321. Jack, how would you like
to see your classroom? Yes?
Copy !req
322. - Yes.
- A little louder.
Copy !req
323. - Yes.
- A little louder, Jack.
Copy !req
324. Yes!
Copy !req
325. Follow me.
Copy !req
326. - Is he deaf?
- It's okay.
Copy !req
327. - Tell me, Jack.
What do you think of it so far?
- Humongous heck-a-cool.
Copy !req
328. It is "heck-a-cool"
and a wonderful school.
Copy !req
329. A fun school, an upbeat school.
Copy !req
330. And I hope you'll have
the time of your life here.
Copy !req
331. You'll have some wonderful
teachers and wonderful pupils.
Copy !req
332. - And you're going to be one of them.
- Wow!
Copy !req
333. Here's your classroom right here.
Miss Marquez.
Copy !req
334. One second. Honey,
you want to be buttoned up, don't ya?
Copy !req
335. - Too tight.
- That too tight? All right.
- Okay.
Copy !req
336. - Don't give me a snuggie.
- Okay.
Copy !req
337. Mom, don't. That's gross.
You're embarrassing me.
Copy !req
338. Listen, honey,
if anybody's mean with you...
Copy !req
339. you just tell your teacher and someone
will call me and, and I'll kill 'em.
Copy !req
340. - Karen.
- Now are you ready, Jack?
Copy !req
341. Yes. Um—
Copy !req
342. Are there any other questions?
Copy !req
343. Miss Marquez, excuse me, but your new
student, Jack Powell, has just arrived.
Copy !req
344. Jack, this is Miss Marquez...
Copy !req
345. your fifth grade teacher.
Copy !req
346. Come in, please.
Copy !req
347. Don't be shy.
Copy !req
348. Come in, Jack. Come in.
Copy !req
349. Whoa! No way.
Copy !req
350. - Jeez, he looks like my dad.
- Except hairier.
Copy !req
351. Come on. It's okay.
Copy !req
352. Welcome to our class.
I'm glad you're here.
Copy !req
353. This place is for fun.
Copy !req
354. Everybody, this is Jack Powell.
Copy !req
355. Class— "Hi, Jack."
Copy !req
356. - Hi, Jack.
- Hi.
- Hi, Jack.
Copy !req
357. Hi.
Copy !req
358. All right. Uh, I know some of
you must be curious about Jack.
Copy !req
359. So, why don't we just take
some time right now...
Copy !req
360. and ask him some of the questions
that you've got on your minds.
Copy !req
361. - Is that all right with you, Jack?
- Sure.
Copy !req
362. - Okay.
- I don't mind.
Copy !req
363. Go on. Ask him something.
Copy !req
364. - I'm not askin' him.
- Louis?
Copy !req
365. Anybody?
Copy !req
366. Come on.
Since when is this group shy?
Copy !req
367. All right. Fine. I've got plenty of
questions. Jack, when's your birthday?
Copy !req
368. Mm, September 12th.
Copy !req
369. 1902.
Copy !req
370. That's enough. Hmm, let me see.
Copy !req
371. Uh, oh! What kind of foods
do you just hate?
Copy !req
372. - Broccoli.
- Broccoli, yuck!
- Makes you fart.
Copy !req
373. Anybody else here hate broccoli?
Copy !req
374. Hands. Yeah.
Copy !req
375. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
376. Well, it looks like you've got
more in common than you think.
Copy !req
377. Jack, your seat's right there
in the back. Why don't you go
sit down and we'll get started.
Copy !req
378. - Okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
Copy !req
379. All right. Everybody,
take out your giant book—
Copy !req
380. I mean, your geography book.
Copy !req
381. Turn to page 78.
Copy !req
382. Okay. So, what we
found out the other day...
Copy !req
383. was that the name "California"
was initially used for—
Copy !req
384. - Everybody, calm down. Come on.
- I think he's stuck.
Copy !req
385. Was used for what we know today
as Baja California.
Copy !req
386. It was first used by Cortez
in the 1530s...
Copy !req
387. and was found in the journal
of Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo in 1542.
Copy !req
388. Victor, eyes up front!
Everybody! Come on now. Calm down.
Copy !req
389. Timber!
Copy !req
390. Jack, are you okay?
Copy !req
391. - Are you all right, sweetie?
- Oh, man!
Copy !req
392. Are you sure you
don't need my help?
Copy !req
393. - You okay, Jack?
- I'm okay.
Copy !req
394. Jack.
Copy !req
395. Is he in our class?
Copy !req
396. Hot, hot, hot. Almost.
Copy !req
397. Shoot. Ooh-ooh. Ah.
Copy !req
398. Dog always gets 'em.
Copy !req
399. Oh, man, he's lookin' at us.
Copy !req
400. He probably recognizes us
from the street.
Copy !req
401. He's probably planning on
kicking our butts or something.
Copy !req
402. - Hey, punk, why don't you watch
where my ball is going?
- You're funny, Victor!
Copy !req
403. Maybe if you knew
how to play the game.
Copy !req
404. - What was that?
- You heard me.
Copy !req
405. You know what the problem is, Victor?
You have "Zackly" disease.
Copy !req
406. - What's that?
- Yeah, what's that?
Copy !req
407. It means your mouth smells
"zackly" like your butt.
Copy !req
408. - Oh-ho!
- Shut up! That's pathetic.
- Shut up.
Copy !req
409. That's so funny
I forgot to laugh.
Copy !req
410. - Losers say, "What?"
- What?
Copy !req
411. - Losers!
- Loser!
Copy !req
412. You think you're so tough?
Take it out on the court,
'cause I can whup your butt.
Copy !req
413. Why does he always have to drag me
along? You know he's gonna cream us.
Copy !req
414. Ow! Don't!
Copy !req
415. - Are you a freak?
- No.
Copy !req
416. Oh. Well, Jane says
that you're a freak.
Copy !req
417. - Who's Jane?
- I'm Jane, and I think you are a freak.
Copy !req
418. Look at your hairy arms
and your eyebrows and—
Copy !req
419. Yeah, he has receding hairline.
Copy !req
420. Well, I'm not a freak.
Copy !req
421. Don't, or I'll tell!
Copy !req
422. - How old are you?
- I'm ten.
Copy !req
423. - How old are you?
- I'm eight.
Copy !req
424. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
425. - So?
- You don't look ten.
Copy !req
426. Look. You got the hairy arms.
Copy !req
427. You got hairy knuckles.
Copy !req
428. You look a lot older than us.
Copy !req
429. It looks like you shave there.
Copy !req
430. Yeah, I do. So?
Copy !req
431. A ten-year-old doesn't shave,
so then you can't be ten.
Copy !req
432. Yeah, you can't be ten if you
shave and you have hairy arms
and you're tall, really tall...
Copy !req
433. - For real.
- and you're bigger.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
434. - So I'm big for my age.
- Look. You have no hair.
Copy !req
435. - You ha—
- I have hair. I got hair. See? Look.
Copy !req
436. Yeah, but look. Right here you have
no hair. It looks like you're bald.
Copy !req
437. I'm not bald, and I'm not a freak.
You're a freak, four eyes.
Copy !req
438. He's ten, a whole two years
older than us. See?
Copy !req
439. Oh, sure. Like that
explains it. Please.
Copy !req
440. "Please."
Copy !req
441. Don't poke me, or I'm telling.
Copy !req
442. Over here! Yeah!
Copy !req
443. - Oh, yeah?
- Losers. Yeah, losers!
Copy !req
444. Shut up, you brat!
Copy !req
445. Hey, how about a little help?
Copy !req
446. - Throw it over.
- Yeah, throw it over.
Copy !req
447. Wait! I'm not touchin'
that thing.
Copy !req
448. It's been contaminated
now that he's touched it.
Copy !req
449. - Yeah, I ain't touchin' it.
- Oh, my God!
- Me neither!
Copy !req
450. - I ain't— Uh! I ain't playin'
basketball for a week.
- Me too!
Copy !req
451. - Five weeks!
- Cooties!
Copy !req
452. Cooties! Cooties!
Copy !req
453. Jack? Honey?
Copy !req
454. I made sloppy joes for dinner.
Copy !req
455. I'm not hungry, Mom.
Copy !req
456. - Really juicy ones.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
457. - You're gonna love it.
- No, I won't.
Copy !req
458. - Guess what I made for dessert.
- What?
Copy !req
459. Ya have to guess.
Copy !req
460. - Can you smell it?
- Not through a box.
Copy !req
461. Chocolate pudding!
Copy !req
462. - Your favourite.
- Not any more, Mom.
Copy !req
463. It's still hot.
Copy !req
464. Mmm! I can smell it.
It's steaming.
Copy !req
465. No, thanks.
Copy !req
466. - This is serious.
- What happened?
Copy !req
467. What do you think happened?
Children whispering. Children pointing.
Copy !req
468. - Oh.
- He's not used to that, Brian.
Copy !req
469. Karen.
Copy !req
470. Jack?
Copy !req
471. Hey, your mom made sloppy joes.
Copy !req
472. Mom hates sloppy joes.
Copy !req
473. Uh, that's true.
Copy !req
474. In fact, all adults
hate sloppy joes...
Copy !req
475. but sometimes we make 'em
to cheer up a kid who's had a bad day.
Copy !req
476. - You want to tell me about it?
- No.
Copy !req
477. Okay.
Copy !req
478. You know what I was
just thinkin' about?
Copy !req
479. - First time you ever rode
a bike. You remember that?
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
480. Yeah. I mean, you,
you were so determined to ride.
Copy !req
481. - You kept wipin' out and—
- Yeah.
Copy !req
482. You nearly took out
a couple of the neighbours.
Copy !req
483. It took a couple of days
until you finally got it.
Copy !req
484. But look at you now. I mean, you—
you're, you're riding like a pro.
Copy !req
485. - Kinda like school, isn't it?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
486. Well, anyway, I just wanted
to see how you were doin'.
Copy !req
487. You need anything,
give me a holler.
Copy !req
488. Hey, Dad, could we
put up a basketball hoop?
Copy !req
489. Yeah.
Copy !req
490. All right. Get the ball.
Copy !req
491. - Hi.
- I'll be back in a second.
Copy !req
492. Hey in there.
How ya doin', Jack?
Copy !req
493. Hi, Miss Marquez.
Copy !req
494. Oh, are those Gummi Bears?
Copy !req
495. Could I have a red one?
The red ones are my favourite.
Copy !req
496. Yeah? Oh. Thanks.
Copy !req
497. So, how do you like it so far?
Copy !req
498. - Miss Marquez and Jack
- Marquez and Jack
Copy !req
499. Sittin' in a tree
Copy !req
500. K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Copy !req
501. - Girls!
- First comes love, then comes marriage
Copy !req
502. Jack, if anybody bothers you,
you just come and tell me, okay?
Copy !req
503. Okay.
Copy !req
504. Thanks for lunch.
Copy !req
505. All right.
Copy !req
506. - Phoebe and Jane.
- I told you.
Copy !req
507. - It's all your fault.
- Over here right now. Today!
Copy !req
508. - Come on. We're gonna
go see your teacher.
- She started it.
Copy !req
509. - Please.
- That was very rude, you know.
Copy !req
510. Let's kick their butts.
Copy !req
511. Hey, Louis, you "Iouiser."
To ten.
Copy !req
512. I'm not in the mood to get
my butt kicked today.
Copy !req
513. Well, we got the new kid.
Copy !req
514. What, are you crazy?
Copy !req
515. Wait. You can't pick him.
He can't play with us.
Copy !req
516. - Yeah.
- Hey, I can pick whoever I want.
Copy !req
517. - What? Are you afraid to lose?
- No.
Copy !req
518. Pick whoever you want.
We never lose.
Copy !req
519. Yeah, pick whoever you want.
We never lose.
Copy !req
520. Hey, you! Big guy.
You shoot hoops?
Copy !req
521. - Me?
- No, the 40-year-old kid behind you.
Copy !req
522. Yeah, you.
You play ball?
Copy !req
523. Yeah. With my dad.
Copy !req
524. - Are you fried?
- Hey, at least nobody's gonna slam him.
Copy !req
525. - All right, let's do it.
- Losers take out.
Copy !req
526. - So you take out.
- Yeah!
Copy !req
527. Yeah, you take out.
Copy !req
528. - Come on, just one chip.
- No!
Copy !req
529. - This is gonna be a good game, man.
- Let go, man. Gimme some room.
Copy !req
530. Wanna grab a burger
after school sometime?
Copy !req
531. Now, listen. All you gotta do
is just stand by the hoop, okay?
Copy !req
532. And I'll feed you the ball
like this.
Copy !req
533. - Let's do this.
- Kick their butts.
- Yeah, kick their butts.
Copy !req
534. Now, stand under the hoop.
Get your hands up.
Copy !req
535. Who let Godzilla out?
Copy !req
536. - And block him.
- I'll try.
- Let's do it.
Copy !req
537. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
538. Come on!
Get 'em, Jack!
Copy !req
539. Yes!
Copy !req
540. You said stand here.
Copy !req
541. - Just move your feet.
- Okay, move my feet.
Copy !req
542. - Pez?
- Sure, thanks.
Copy !req
543. Stand here and move my feet.
Move my feet.
Copy !req
544. Come on!
Come on!
Copy !req
545. - Jack, get him!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
546. - Hello, McFly.
- Hello.
Copy !req
547. - You gotta block him.
- Invincible!
- Yes!
Copy !req
548. Fake out.
Copy !req
549. Come on, Jack!
Block him!
Copy !req
550. - Yea!
- Yes!
Copy !req
551. - No!
- No!
Copy !req
552. Good work.
Copy !req
553. - Get him!
- You get him!
- That's right, Mario!
Copy !req
554. - Give us the ball.
- Losers take out.
Copy !req
555. Defence! Defence! Defence!
Copy !req
556. Defence! Defence!
Defence! Defence!
Copy !req
557. - Defence! Defence! Defence!
- Come on, John-John!
Copy !req
558. - Catch it! Catch it!
- Put it in the hole, Jack!
Copy !req
559. - Yeah!
- Like that's real fair.
Copy !req
560. We're kickin'
some major butt!
Copy !req
561. - That was good.
- Give me the ball.
Copy !req
562. Hey! What'd you stick at him?
Copy !req
563. Loser takes out!
Copy !req
564. Losers take out!
Copy !req
565. Give it to Mario!
Copy !req
566. - Mario!
- Shut up! Shut up!
Copy !req
567. - Loser!
- Next time.
Copy !req
568. Shoot it back.
Get it!
Copy !req
569. Get it!
Copy !req
570. - Victor!
- Bouncer.
Copy !req
571. Unstoppable!
Copy !req
572. Come on, man. Give it up.
Come on, Victor.
Copy !req
573. - Give it up!
- Get off me!
Copy !req
574. Get off of him! Man!
Copy !req
575. Everybody take out your notebooks.
We have a new assignment.
Copy !req
576. And it's something I want you to
put some serious thought into.
Copy !req
577. On what you would want to be
when you grow up.
Copy !req
578. Be sure to include reasons
for your choices...
Copy !req
579. and watch the spelling,
punctuation and grammar, please.
Copy !req
580. You'll have till the end
of the semester to finish it.
Copy !req
581. Write the date on the top
of the page. Don't forget.
Copy !req
582. - You too, George. The date.
- I want to be a gynaecologist.
Copy !req
583. If that's so, then I want
good reasons why.
Copy !req
584. You are the reason why,
Miss Marquez.
Copy !req
585. I want you to think about this.
Copy !req
586. It's going to be
a big part of your grade.
Copy !req
587. Maybe you ought to think about
using one of the choices
from the board. All right?
Copy !req
588. We're gonna have to change
your name from Jack to Shaq.
Copy !req
589. Nice shooting. Way to go.
Copy !req
590. Please, people. Don't leave this
till the last minute.
Copy !req
591. This the kind of assignment
I want you to spend some time on.
Copy !req
592. You have the whole semester to do it.
Just take your time.
Copy !req
593. Don't sit down and write it all
in the last weekend.
Copy !req
594. - Hey, guys.
- I got the new blueprints
for the new tree house.
Copy !req
595. - We made it.
- Hey, guys. It's finally Friday.
Copy !req
596. Who are we waitin' for?
What's her name?
Copy !req
597. - Mrs Durante.
- Mrs Durante.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
598. Problem is, we don't have
any "Playboys."
Copy !req
599. - Are you done with it?
- I hear George has a new girlfriend.
Copy !req
600. - Right over there.
- Hey, guys, I gotta go.
- Glasses.
Copy !req
601. - Tree house in an hour, all right?
- She's late.
Copy !req
602. - Yeah.
- We can't stay here all day.
Copy !req
603. - I think we'd better go back inside.
- We'll go back inside.
Copy !req
604. Hey. Great game today.
Copy !req
605. Thanks. Thanks for pickin' me.
Copy !req
606. Now you gotta do me
another favour.
Copy !req
607. - What kind of favour?
- Follow me.
Copy !req
608. Listen, my mother's coming here
to meet the principal today.
Copy !req
609. - She wants to talk to him.
- So?
Copy !req
610. - Well, you're gonna be the principal.
- Wh-What?
Copy !req
611. You gotta do it.
My mom talks to Principal McGee,
he'll tell her I've been bad.
Copy !req
612. - Well, have you been bad?
- Well, I haven't done homework
since, like, the third grade.
Copy !req
613. - W— Your dog must be pretty full.
- Yeah, right.
Copy !req
614. Here she is.
You gotta do it. Here.
Copy !req
615. - Louie, I can't be a principal.
- Turn around.
Copy !req
616. - I can't do this.
- Turn around!
Copy !req
617. Principal McGee's really old!
Copy !req
618. - I can't do this.
- Louie!
- It's a fib.
Copy !req
619. Oh, hi, honey.
Copy !req
620. Oh, sweetie, The Beef and Brew
only gave me 10 minutes off.
Copy !req
621. So I gotta hustle.
Hi, sweetie.
Copy !req
622. - Hi.
- Hello.
Copy !req
623. - So, where's the principal?
- Um—
Copy !req
624. This is Principal Powell.
He's new here.
Copy !req
625. - Oh.
- He just came a couple of weeks ago.
Copy !req
626. - I told him you were coming.
- Oh, well, hello, Mr Powell.
Copy !req
627. My name is Delores,
but my friends call me D.D.
Copy !req
628. So tell me, what happened
to Principal McGee?
I just talked to him on the phone.
Copy !req
629. I don't know what happened
to Mr McGee. Mr Powell?
Copy !req
630. - He got diarrhoea.
- Diarrhoea?
Copy !req
631. Yeah, he got diarrhoea.
Copy !req
632. Uh, and he— he spewed.
Copy !req
633. Threw up. Yeah, he had—
And, uh, he had the squirts.
Copy !req
634. - He had diarrhoea.
- Oh, boy, that's more
than I needed to know.
Copy !req
635. - He-He had to go to the hospital.
Appendicitis.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
636. - He had a bellyache.
- Oh, my God, appendicitis.
Oh, that's too bad.
Copy !req
637. Well, honey, listen. I swiped you
a chocolate mousse from the restaurant.
Copy !req
638. So go sit down and eat it
while I talk to the principal.
Copy !req
639. - No, let me stay, Mom.
- Oh, sweetie, please don't
bust my chops over everything.
Copy !req
640. Go sit down. Oh, God, you see?
That's what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
641. He— He doesn't listen. I mean, I don't
know whether it's all kids or just him.
Copy !req
642. - Am I right?
- What'd you say?
Copy !req
643. I said kids don't listen.
Am I right?
Copy !req
644. - Don't listen. No.
- Yeah. Well, that's what I thought.
Copy !req
645. Of course, you could say
the same thing about men too.
Copy !req
646. - Probably your wife does all the time.
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
647. - Aren't you married?
- Married?
Copy !req
648. - No, I'm not married.
- I'm divorced, myself.
Copy !req
649. And that's another thing, you know.
Ever since my husband left us...
Copy !req
650. he's got such
a chip on his shoulder.
Copy !req
651. Potato or corn?
Copy !req
652. Anyway, uh, you know.
Copy !req
653. He's— He's starting
to get interested in girls.
Copy !req
654. I found some dirty magazines
under his bed.
Copy !req
655. Wh-What am I supposed to do about that?
What? I-I don't know what to do.
Copy !req
656. Uh, it's a tough age.
Copy !req
657. I know. I mean,
I-I-I— I remember.
Copy !req
658. I mean, I re—
I'm remembering now.
Copy !req
659. - It's a tough age.
- Uch!
- Rough, tough age.
Copy !req
660. - Feh.
- Feh.
Copy !req
661. So, tell me, meanwhile,
how is he doin'?
Copy !req
662. 'Cause last September
he was failing out miserably.
Copy !req
663. Oh, um, Louie's showing
a lot of improvement.
Copy !req
664. - He's on a roll, really.
- Really?
Copy !req
665. - Rolling.
- A roll?
- Really.
Copy !req
666. - Rolling along.
- Really, really rolling along.
Copy !req
667. - Wow.
- Wow.
Copy !req
668. And, uh, I would say,
uh, he's, uh...
Copy !req
669. the smartest kid
in the whole school.
Copy !req
670. Yeah. If not, maybe
the smartest kid I've ever met.
Copy !req
671. Oh, my God! I can't believe
I'm finally getting a good report.
Copy !req
672. It makes me so happy.
Copy !req
673. I mean, I can't believe
you're telling me this.
Copy !req
674. 'Cause you know, this means
that maybe he's happy...
Copy !req
675. and I made the right decision
about moving us out here.
Copy !req
676. Listen, you know...
Copy !req
677. if you want to have
lunch or something...
Copy !req
678. we can talk about Louie and, you know,
just kind of shoot the breeze.
Copy !req
679. - What do you think?
- Don't.
- Oh.
Copy !req
680. - Got a problem?
- It's bad for you.
Copy !req
681. Since when is bein' bad...
Copy !req
682. bad?
Copy !req
683. Oh, no.
Copy !req
684. Oh, here she goes.
Copy !req
685. So, um, what do you think?
Do you wanna do lunch?
Copy !req
686. I get a discount
at the Beef and Brew.
Copy !req
687. Well, my mom brings my lunch usually.
I mean, she makes it.
Copy !req
688. Honey, you've got to cut
those apron strings.
Copy !req
689. - Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.
Copy !req
690. Hi, angel. Well, Mr Powell's been
telling me what a good boy you've been.
Copy !req
691. - I told you.
- And I didn't believe you, but now I do.
Copy !req
692. And I'm gonna give Mr Powell
my number at work...
Copy !req
693. so that you can call me
and let me know how he's doing.
Copy !req
694. Can stay on top of things.
Copy !req
695. That's my number at work.
You can get me there anytime.
Copy !req
696. Well, my mom said
I shouldn't touch matches.
Copy !req
697. Oh, you live with your mother?
Copy !req
698. - Well, yeah, at night.
- Well, to each his own.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
699. Anyway, you can call me, uh,
to talk about Louis...
Copy !req
700. or, you know, any old thing.
Copy !req
701. So, uh— Oh, and that's Memories.
Copy !req
702. That's a club that
I hang out at sometimes.
Copy !req
703. You know, if I'm not at work,
that's usually where I am.
Copy !req
704. But it's a nice place
for people our age to hang out...
Copy !req
705. have a little drink,
take the edge off, you know.
Copy !req
706. Oh, I gotta go.
Ooh, I'm gonna get fired.
Copy !req
707. - Love you, "face."
- Okay, love you too.
- Nice meeting you, Mr Powell.
Copy !req
708. Ooh, you got a strong grip.
You're a manly man.
Copy !req
709. All right, you got your key to
the house? Okay, I'll meet you at home.
Copy !req
710. - I love you.
- All right. Love you too.
Copy !req
711. Bye.
Copy !req
712. Wow! Whoa, that was great.
Copy !req
713. - How'd I do?
- You did great.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
714. - Yeah.
- Boy.
Copy !req
715. - Whew!
- Hey, man. I owe you one.
Copy !req
716. Sorry about my mom, Jack. She's lookin'
for love in all the wrong places.
Copy !req
717. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
718. Maybe I'll see you
over the weekend.
Copy !req
719. Cool.
Copy !req
720. - Pal.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
721. Mom! I'm home!
Copy !req
722. I'm here. I'm here!
Where are you?
Copy !req
723. Yeah. Okay.
Copy !req
724. - Can I talk to him? Can I talk to him?
- Jackie wants to talk to you.
Copy !req
725. Dad! Hey, Dad. Dad.
I got your hair, Mom. Sorry.
Copy !req
726. Hey, Dad. Yeah. Hey, Dad.
I got to play basketball today.
Copy !req
727. They picked me. Yeah, and not
just 'cause I'm humongous.
Copy !req
728. Because I'm real good. Yeah,
I scored a thousand points.
Copy !req
729. No. You're right.
It was only a hundred.
Copy !req
730. I'm kidding. It was 14.
Yeah, but each time I got the—
Copy !req
731. I scored! Just like this.
Wait! Listen, Dad.
Copy !req
732. Yeah, and I met this
really cool kid named Louie.
Copy !req
733. Not Louis. Louie. Yeah.
His mom gave me some matches.
Copy !req
734. Yeah. Those are the matches.
Can I play with them?
Copy !req
735. Okay, slow down, buddy.
Slow down.
Copy !req
736. Hey, Dad.
Copy !req
737. Louie has dirty magazines
under his bed.
Copy !req
738. What are dirty magazines?
Copy !req
739. I got to be principal.
Yeah, I pretended to be.
Copy !req
740. And I got a lot of homework to do.
I got a great homework assignment.
Copy !req
741. And you know what? Miss Marquez
ate one of my red Gummi Bears.
Copy !req
742. She said, "Way to go." Yeah,
but not because of the red Gummi Bears.
Copy !req
743. Because of the way
I played basketball.
Copy !req
744. Yeah, it was great.
She said Shaq better watch his back.
Copy !req
745. She's what Grandpa says
is a real piece of work.
Copy !req
746. Really great.
What are you doing?
Copy !req
747. No, I'm just— Just, uh,
shootin' an ad layout.
Copy !req
748. Carrots, for the Carrot Board.
Just giant carrots, yeah.
Copy !req
749. Wow, that's pretty boring.
Copy !req
750. Listen, Dad.
I gotta go.
Copy !req
751. No, I really gotta go.
Number one.
Copy !req
752. Okay. See you.
Yeah, listen, Dad?
Copy !req
753. Don't hug me any more
in front of the guys, okay?
Copy !req
754. Yeah, you know.
It's like— You know.
Copy !req
755. It's weird. Yeah, okay.
Copy !req
756. See ya. Yeah, I'll take
the matches in the bathroom
so if I do number two, I'm ready.
Copy !req
757. Okay, put your mom on. Yeah.
Copy !req
758. Brian. Yeah, I can
hear you all right.
Copy !req
759. No, it's this cord. Oh, wait!
Copy !req
760. You okay?
Copy !req
761. - Honey!
- Is he okay?
Copy !req
762. Yes, he's all right.
He's so excited.
Copy !req
763. Hey, Jack's mother!
Copy !req
764. - Hey, Jack!
- Psych!
Copy !req
765. Jack's mother?
Copy !req
766. Can Jack come out and play?
Copy !req
767. I'm Mrs Powell.
Copy !req
768. - And you are?
- Louis Durante. Pleased to meet you.
Copy !req
769. I know Jack from school.
I was wondering...
Copy !req
770. if Jack wanted to come to a sleepover
some of us guys are having.
Copy !req
771. I mean, if he's allowed to
and stuff.
Copy !req
772. Well, I can check. We kind of
had some other plans, you know.
Copy !req
773. - Hey, Jack!
- Bye, Mom.
Copy !req
774. See ya!
Copy !req
775. - Honey, be extra careful!
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
776. - And don't stay up too late.
- I won't, Mom.
Copy !req
777. So how fast do you grow?
Copy !req
778. - Four times as fast as you.
- Like cat years?
- Yeah, sort of.
Copy !req
779. Like, when I'm 20,
I'll look really old.
Copy !req
780. Hey, man. You hear the first 20
are the best ones anyway.
Copy !req
781. My mom says
it's all downhill after that.
Copy !req
782. - Yeah?
- Yeah!
- Like this?
Copy !req
783. - Waah!
- Like this: Rrr!
Copy !req
784. Wow. Did you guys
build this yourself?
Copy !req
785. - Yeah. Cool, huh?
- You must've started this in preschool.
Copy !req
786. I'm gonna introduce you
to the guys.
Copy !req
787. - Is this safe?
- Yeah, it's safe.
Copy !req
788. Really?
Copy !req
789. Hey, don't sweat it.
Just go along with whatever I say.
Copy !req
790. Do you think the other kids
are going to like me?
Copy !req
791. Hey, you're tight with me, you're tight
with them. They're gonna love you.
Copy !req
792. - Yeah, it is. It's a purple one.
- It's kind of attached.
Copy !req
793. - Bigger, man.
- Hey, Lou.
- Hey, Louie.
Copy !req
794. - Hiya.
- Hey, I brought Jack.
He's right down there.
Copy !req
795. You brought the freak?
Copy !req
796. - He's not a freak.
- You said he was a freak.
Copy !req
797. - Yeah.
- I said wrong, right?
Copy !req
798. Get over it. He's cool.
Copy !req
799. He knows how to shoot hoops.
Copy !req
800. And he did me a favour today.
Here, check this out.
Copy !req
801. Look what he picked up
on the way over. Huh?
Copy !req
802. - He bought that?
- Eh-eh.
Copy !req
803. - No way.
- Way! Walked right
into the store, picked it up.
Copy !req
804. No fear or nothin'.
Copy !req
805. - My man is the man.
- That is way cool.
Copy !req
806. - I wish I was a freak.
- Hey, lay off the freak stuff,
all right?
Copy !req
807. Jack's cool. We gotta
let him kick it with us.
Copy !req
808. If he walks...
Copy !req
809. the "Penthouse" walks too.
Copy !req
810. Bye, boys.
Copy !req
811. Okay, he can hang.
Copy !req
812. But if he weirds out
or anything, he's history. Okay?
Copy !req
813. Wait a second. Look. See,
the maximum weight up here.
Copy !req
814. - I don't think it's such a good idea,
150 pounds up here. It'll never hold!
- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
Copy !req
815. - Eddie, two words: Pent House.
- He's comin' up, so—
Copy !req
816. Guys, this is Jack.
Copy !req
817. - Oh, man! I got a bad hip problem!
- Sorry!
Copy !req
818. - Watch the TV.
- The TV.
- Settle down.
Copy !req
819. - Come on!
- Come on, come on!
- Watch out, okay?
Copy !req
820. - Sorry.
- Take it easy.
Copy !req
821. Take a chill pill, okay?
Copy !req
822. - Watch the lamp!
- The lamp!
- The lamp!
Copy !req
823. - Come on, man. Watch out!
- Sit down.
Copy !req
824. - Sit down already.
- Sit down.
- Just sit.
Copy !req
825. - This wasn't such a good idea.
- Come on, easy.
Copy !req
826. The-The— This tree house is four
years old. I want it to live to ten.
Copy !req
827. - Please.
- Hey, Jack, uh, so—
so you bought that magazine?
Copy !req
828. Yeah. I buy 'em all the time.
Copy !req
829. What about "Hustler"?
You get "Hustler"?
Copy !req
830. - If you want it.
- "Swank"?
Copy !req
831. Yeah, that and, uh...
Copy !req
832. you know, all-all
the grown-up stuff...
Copy !req
833. that only grown-ups can read.
Copy !req
834. - Cool.
- A-And they don't give you
no trouble in buying one?
Copy !req
835. - I mean, like, they don't ask for ID?
- No. You know...
Copy !req
836. I just don't shave for a day
and then I look like I'm 50.
Copy !req
837. Hey, uh, Jack. Mind if I look
at the "Penthouse"?
Copy !req
838. Knock yourself out.
Copy !req
839. So do you really shave, Jack?
Copy !req
840. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I started when I was four.
Copy !req
841. - Oh, wow.
- Feel.
- Cool.
Copy !req
842. 'Cause I'm looking forward to shaving.
You know— What do you think?
Copy !req
843. - See anything right there?
Any whiskers around there?
- Let's see.
Copy !req
844. Yeah, there's maybe
one there.
Copy !req
845. - Yeah, I think that's one.
- Oh, if I were you...
Copy !req
846. I'd grow like a Fu Manchu thing
or maybe a goat.
Copy !req
847. - A goat?
- Like a goatee.
Copy !req
848. - Oh, that'd be ba-a-ad!
- Ba-a-ad, dude.
Copy !req
849. - Ba-a-atman!
- Ooh, Eddie, check this out.
Copy !req
850. - Excuse me.
- Think our moms look like that?
Copy !req
851. No. Only "Penthouse" girls
look like that.
Copy !req
852. They're special. I mean, like,
they come from a special part
of the country or somethin'.
Copy !req
853. - So how do you like it?
- Oh, it's great. What do
you guys do here all night?
Copy !req
854. Anything we want.
Copy !req
855. Hey, Jack.
You ever get a boner?
Copy !req
856. You know, an erector.
Copy !req
857. Not yet. I'm hoping
to get one for Christmas.
Copy !req
858. - I want to hear a manly rip.
Show us what you're made of!
- Oh, wait!
Copy !req
859. Wait, wait. Oh, just— just warmin' up.
Just clearin' my throat.
Copy !req
860. I feel it down below.
Copy !req
861. Oh, man!
Copy !req
862. - It's disgusting!
- Gee!
Copy !req
863. I almost blew
a seam on my pants!
Copy !req
864. - Oh, here comes another one!
- Oh, here you go.
Copy !req
865. - Can this one!
- A real rectal rocket. Oh, yes!
Copy !req
866. Out, demon spirit!
Copy !req
867. Bingo!
Copy !req
868. - Oh, get it out of here.
- Oh, it's gross.
- The earth is rumbling!
Copy !req
869. Seven-point-five
on the Prickter scale!
Copy !req
870. - Give it to George.
- Jack Powell, the manly farter.
Copy !req
871. Smell it! Smell it!
That one's got good hang time.
Copy !req
872. Go, George! Oh!
Copy !req
873. Oh, it's deadly!
Ooh, reek it! Oh!
Copy !req
874. Whoo! Fire down below!
Copy !req
875. - He's comin'. He's revived.
- Hey, fire in the hole, guys.
Check it out.
Copy !req
876. - Oh, here it goes! Here it goes.
- Fire in the hole!
Copy !req
877. - Flashlights off, everybody!
- Yeah, flashlights off.
Copy !req
878. - Open it, open it!
- Ready?
Copy !req
879. Karen? Karen.
Copy !req
880. Jack?
Copy !req
881. No. It's me.
Copy !req
882. We've got to be there
in a half hour.
Copy !req
883. - Don't make fun.
- I never would.
Copy !req
884. We usually come in here and
have our little talks before bedtime.
Copy !req
885. You feel traded in for a bunch
of spitting, swearing ten-year-olds?
Copy !req
886. - Yeah.
- Still got me, you know.
Copy !req
887. It's just the way it is
for everybody.
Copy !req
888. You give birth to 'em,
you clothe 'em, you feed 'em.
Copy !req
889. Then one day,
you come home, they're teenagers.
They hate you for no reason...
Copy !req
890. and wouldn't talk to you
if your hair was on fire.
Copy !req
891. I know.
Copy !req
892. It's just, it's the first night
he's slept away from home.
Copy !req
893. Meaning...
Copy !req
894. we've never been alone
in the house before.
Copy !req
895. - Uh-oh.
- I think it's nice being
the only size 11 shoe...
Copy !req
896. under our bed.
Copy !req
897. I just hope he's okay.
Copy !req
898. Wow! I think I got another one
in me! Get ready!
Copy !req
899. We need more ketchup anyway.
Copy !req
900. - Maggot soup.
- Thyme.
- Get some fart juice.
Copy !req
901. - How's this?
- Jack, you better eat this.
Copy !req
902. - Eat it all.
- Wait. Ooh!
Copy !req
903. - You better eat this.
- Mix it up.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
904. - Sardines.
- You'll love it.
Copy !req
905. Oh! No, I can't do it.
Copy !req
906. - Oh, no, no, no. Don't put that in.
- Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
907. - Go, go, go, go!
- Worms?
- Go, go!
Copy !req
908. - Go, go, go, go!
- Don't add the worms.
- Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
909. - Go, go, go, go!
- Come on.
Copy !req
910. - I'm gonna puke. No, no. No, no.
- Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
911. - Go, go, go, go.
- Oh, please, no.
Copy !req
912. - No, no.
- Eat it!
Copy !req
913. - Don't put my hand in it.
- Yeah!
Copy !req
914. - Oh!
- Uh!
Copy !req
915. Watch out. He's gonna spew!
Copy !req
916. I'm warning you.
Copy !req
917. Wow. Not bad.
Copy !req
918. Hey, Jack. Hey, Louis.
Copy !req
919. Let us up, please!
I want to see what it's like up there.
Copy !req
920. Can you guys hold on for
one second? We just wanna clean
the place up a little bit, okay?
Copy !req
921. - See? He's gonna let us up.
- He's not gonna let us up.
Copy !req
922. - Did you hear the way he said it?
- Boys do not clean up!
Copy !req
923. - "Let us clean it up
a little bit." He's lying.
- Yeah, right.
Copy !req
924. - He is.
- I'll bet you. Watch.
- No girls allowed!
Copy !req
925. - Oh, dang!
- Direct hit!
Copy !req
926. Left. Left, right, left.
Copy !req
927. - Hey, Ed, are you Dr Kevorkian?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
928. - Peppermints.
- Peppermints.
Copy !req
929. - Pom-Poms.
- Pom-Poms.
Copy !req
930. - Power Bar.
- Power Bar.
- Pez.
Copy !req
931. - Pez.
- And peanuts.
Copy !req
932. - Some peanuts.
- A "Penthouse."
Copy !req
933. Okay, and a "Penthouse."
Copy !req
934. Jack, do you read me?
Do you read me? Come in.
Copy !req
935. Ten-four. We have liftoff.
I have the "Penthouse."
Copy !req
936. Do you have a picture
of the Pope?
Copy !req
937. It's a "P."
Excuse me.
Copy !req
938. Hey, guys, I brought a friend.
Copy !req
939. Okay?
Copy !req
940. This is Mr Woodruff.
Copy !req
941. Are you ten too?
Copy !req
942. Uh, well, if you ask my wife.
Copy !req
943. No, I'm afraid I'm just
a regular, garden variety, old fart.
Copy !req
944. I mean, this tree house
wasn't made for—
Copy !req
945. What?
Copy !req
946. It won't hold, you know—
Uh— The, uh— The, uh—
Copy !req
947. Well, now. This place
is a lot hipper than I thought.
Copy !req
948. No, it isn't.
Copy !req
949. - So—
- So I hear you're a good tutor.
Copy !req
950. Well, I don't like to blow
my own horn, but, uh—
Copy !req
951. You know, twin cheeks.
Let one fly.
Copy !req
952. - Rectal rocket.
- Do what?
Copy !req
953. Do you wanna fart
in the can?
Copy !req
954. I'm afraid, boys, you wouldn't
want that to happen.
Copy !req
955. Some of my parts are rotten.
Copy !req
956. Come on! I thought you said
you were a good "tooter."
Copy !req
957. I've been known to chase
whole families away.
Copy !req
958. You mean,
you're better than Jack?
Copy !req
959. - I taught Jack.
- Oh!
Copy !req
960. Fellas, fellas.
No, this is enough.
Copy !req
961. - Are you kidding?
- No.
- A little tabasco comin' in.
Copy !req
962. Fellas.
Copy !req
963. I'm tellin' you,
it tastes like chicken.
Copy !req
964. - Did you eat this, Jack?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
965. - Everybody has to.
- It's good.
Copy !req
966. - Did you eat it, really?
- Mm-hmm.
- Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
967. Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go...
Copy !req
968. go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
969. - I love you, man.
- Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
970. No!
Copy !req
971. Psych!
Copy !req
972. - You're in.
- I am?
- You're in.
Copy !req
973. - Oh, thank you so much.
- You're in the club.
Copy !req
974. He's gonna get caught
Just you—
Copy !req
975. - Wait. Are you— Are you sure
this is a cool song?
- This is a cool song.
Copy !req
976. - He's gonna get caught
Just you wait and see
- This doesn't sound like a cool song.
Copy !req
977. Why is everybody always picking on—
You know the parts!
Copy !req
978. - Ba-room
- Beep, beep, ba, ba
Copy !req
979. - Ba-room
- Boom, boom, boom
Copy !req
980. - I smell smoke in the auditorium
- Ba-room, ba-room
Copy !req
981. - Charlie Brown
- Charlie Brown
Copy !req
982. - Charlie Brown
- Charlie Brown
- Yeah, he's a clown
Copy !req
983. - Charlie Brown
- That Charlie Brown
Copy !req
984. He's gonna get caught
Copy !req
985. Just you wait and see
Copy !req
986. Why is everybody
always picking on me
Copy !req
987. Who's always writing
on the walls
Copy !req
988. Who's always goofin'
in the hall
Copy !req
989. - Dang, dang, do
- Who's always throwin' spitballs
Copy !req
990. - Guess who
- Who, me
Copy !req
991. - Yeah, you
- Watch out!
Copy !req
992. No, no, no!
Copy !req
993. Wait a second, people!
We're at the absolute limit here!
Copy !req
994. There's nothing wrong, Eddie.
You're paranoid.
Copy !req
995. Charlie Brown
Copy !req
996. - What's going on?
- Oh, boy!
- Everybody stay calm.
Copy !req
997. - What's goin' on?
- Oh, no!
- What's goin' on?
Copy !req
998. - Oh!
- Everybody stay calm!
Copy !req
999. Oh, guys.
Copy !req
1000. - Stay calm.
- I told you so, and I told you so!
Copy !req
1001. We could have been killed!
Copy !req
1002. Why is everybody
always falling on me
Copy !req
1003. And speaking of the mayor,
it's certainly going to be
a busy day for him today.
Copy !req
1004. Uh, he'll be attending the opening
ceremonies of the new public library.
Copy !req
1005. By the way, we invite you to stop by
and enjoy the festivities there.
Copy !req
1006. Be sure to bring along the kids
if you can.
Copy !req
1007. Later on, the mayor will be
meeting with the city council.
Copy !req
1008. Afterwards, there'll be
a press conference—
Copy !req
1009. Then at
approximately 12:00 noon...
Copy !req
1010. St Anthony's Church will be holding
their annual auction fund-raiser—
Copy !req
1011. Jack, honey. It's 8:15.
Copy !req
1012. Pushing it.
Copy !req
1013. "When I grow up...
Copy !req
1014. I want to get married
when I'm 28.
Copy !req
1015. Because if you get married
before that...
Copy !req
1016. statistics say that
you'll be divorced.
Copy !req
1017. However, I feel if I wait
till my late 20's...
Copy !req
1018. I can fool statistics
and live happily every after...
Copy !req
1019. with my husband,
who will also be over 28."
Copy !req
1020. What do I want to be
when I grow up?
Copy !req
1021. - Alive.
- We get the picture, George.
Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1022. Hey, Jack.
Copy !req
1023. - Hey, what's wrong, buddy?
- Nothin'.
Copy !req
1024. Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
1025. Gotta stay
and ask Miss Marquez something.
Copy !req
1026. - You want me to stick around?
- Yeah, but I'll see you downstairs.
Copy !req
1027. Good luck.
Copy !req
1028. You stud, you.
Copy !req
1029. - Bye, Miss Marquez.
- Bye-bye. I'll see you tomorrow.
Copy !req
1030. Bye.
Copy !req
1031. Jack, you're still here.
Copy !req
1032. Jack, do you feel okay?
Copy !req
1033. - Is everything all right?
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1034. Okay.
Copy !req
1035. I know you like 'em.
Copy !req
1036. I saved all the red Gummi Bears.
It took a long time to get a whole bag.
Copy !req
1037. Well, this is very sweet
of you, Jack. Thank you.
Copy !req
1038. So I'm a nice guy, huh?
Copy !req
1039. You're a very
nice young man, yes.
Copy !req
1040. Miss Marquez?
I was thinking that maybe if—
Copy !req
1041. if you didn't have
anything to do...
Copy !req
1042. that you might want
to go to the dance with me.
Copy !req
1043. It'd be really, really fun.
Copy !req
1044. Oh, Jackie.
Copy !req
1045. So you wanna go?
My mom will drive us.
Copy !req
1046. Jack, you don't want
to go with me. I'm an old lady.
Copy !req
1047. But that's why.
That's why I wanna go with you.
Copy !req
1048. I can't go with the girls my age
because I look so much older than them.
Copy !req
1049. You look just like me.
Copy !req
1050. Jackie— Jack.
Copy !req
1051. You are still
a very young man...
Copy !req
1052. up here.
Copy !req
1053. I— I know I— I look closer
to your age than the girls in class.
Copy !req
1054. - You're right about that.
- So what time should
my mom and I pick you up?
Copy !req
1055. Jack, you are my student...
Copy !req
1056. and I'm your teacher.
Copy !req
1057. And teachers and students
don't go to dances together.
Copy !req
1058. - Do you understand that?
- Please?
Copy !req
1059. No.
Copy !req
1060. I'm sorry, honey.
It just wouldn't be right.
Copy !req
1061. Do you understand?
Copy !req
1062. Oh, Jackie, don't.
Copy !req
1063. - Don't, Jack.
- I'm okay.
Copy !req
1064. Jack. Jack, wait!
Copy !req
1065. - Jack, come back. Let's talk.
- I don't wanna talk.
Copy !req
1066. - Jack, it has nothing to do with you!
- Leave me alone!
Copy !req
1067. Ow.
Copy !req
1068. Ow.
Copy !req
1069. Ow.
Copy !req
1070. - Jack.
- It hurts.
Copy !req
1071. Somebody help us!
Somebody help!
Copy !req
1072. - Something's wrong.
- Hold on.
Copy !req
1073. Somebody help!
Somebody help!
Copy !req
1074. Miss Marquez!
Jack's hurt!
Copy !req
1075. - Excuse me. Miss—
- Nurse, which way's intensive care?
Copy !req
1076. - Down the hall, first left
and up the stairs.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1077. I think what happened here
is the result of severe strain.
Copy !req
1078. So it wasn't a heart attack?
Copy !req
1079. Well, not exactly.
Copy !req
1080. This is a form
of arteriosclerosis or angina.
Copy !req
1081. But Jack's situation
is unique.
Copy !req
1082. - Honey, that's your heart.
- Yeah? Is it okay?
Copy !req
1083. Mm-hmm. You can wait
for your parents here.
Copy !req
1084. They'll be a few more minutes.
Copy !req
1085. Can I have a sucker?
Copy !req
1086. His internal clock
is running out.
Copy !req
1087. The physical signs of aging
are going to occur more quickly.
Copy !req
1088. His body is working overtime.
Copy !req
1089. Little things that we take for granted
are going to affect him truly.
Copy !req
1090. Hey.
Copy !req
1091. Go on. Hey.
Copy !req
1092. How do you feel, Jackie?
Copy !req
1093. I'm okay.
Copy !req
1094. Louis just called for you.
Copy !req
1095. He said he hopes you feel better.
Copy !req
1096. I told him
you'd call him back tomorrow.
Copy !req
1097. - You need your rest.
- Why do I need rest, Mom? I feel fine.
Copy !req
1098. - Here.
- What's that?
Copy !req
1099. - It's for you.
- A surprise?
Copy !req
1100. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
1101. Honey—
Copy !req
1102. Oh.
Copy !req
1103. - We don't ever want anything
like this to happen again.
- Me too.
Copy !req
1104. So we're going to go back to the way
things were before you started school.
Copy !req
1105. No.
Copy !req
1106. - Hey, remember all the fun we had?
- No.
Copy !req
1107. No. No, no!
Copy !req
1108. It wasn't fun!
Copy !req
1109. Jack, it's—
it's the only way.
Copy !req
1110. What about my friends?
What about Louie?
Copy !req
1111. What about George?
What about John-John?
Copy !req
1112. Well, honey. They'll come
and they'll visit with you.
Copy !req
1113. - Mr Woodruff will come.
- Mom. Mom.
Copy !req
1114. I want to be with my friends.
Copy !req
1115. - I want to be outside.
- Honey, please, don't do that.
Copy !req
1116. - Oh, please, Mom. Please.
- Honey, I'm not trying to be mean.
Copy !req
1117. - Mom, come on.
- Hey. Hey, remember—
Copy !req
1118. Button up your overcoat
Copy !req
1119. When the wind blows free
Copy !req
1120. Take good care of yourself
You belong to me
Copy !req
1121. No, I don't.
Copy !req
1122. Dad!
Copy !req
1123. Dad!
Copy !req
1124. - Dad.
- Hey.
Copy !req
1125. Please don't make me
stay home.
Copy !req
1126. I want to go back to school.
Please, let me go back!
Copy !req
1127. Don't make me be alone.
Please, Dad.
Copy !req
1128. - Okay, okay.
- Please.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Copy !req
1129. Please, please, please, please.
Copy !req
1130. Jackie, you're my boy.
My little boy.
Copy !req
1131. Oh, Jackie.
Copy !req
1132. Oh, please.
Copy !req
1133. Oh, please.
Copy !req
1134. I— I'm just sayin'
that we can't be afraid...
Copy !req
1135. afraid that he'll fall down;
Copy !req
1136. afraid that he'll hurt himself,
or another kid;
Copy !req
1137. afraid to have another baby.
Copy !req
1138. - Brian, you know we can't do that.
- No, I don't know that.
Copy !req
1139. You know another baby
might be like—
Copy !req
1140. No, I don't know anything of
the sort, and the doctors never
told us anything of the sort.
Copy !req
1141. Hon, ten years ago,
when we had Jack...
Copy !req
1142. we thought he was going to be
the first of three or four.
Copy !req
1143. It's not the right time
to be talking about it.
Copy !req
1144. Well, sooner or later
we have to talk about it, hon.
Copy !req
1145. Nice set of wheels
you got there, boy.
Copy !req
1146. You okay?
You okay?
Copy !req
1147. Look out.
Copy !req
1148. Here, have another hit
off of this. It'll help you.
Copy !req
1149. - Don't waste it.
- Check your bike, buddy?
Copy !req
1150. I'm thinking I ain't realized
Copy !req
1151. That I'm trying
trying to forget you
Copy !req
1152. - Hey! Watch it, asshole!
- Excuse me.
Copy !req
1153. - With tears in my eyes
- Booger breath.
Copy !req
1154. So he starts this minimalist—
You ever hear this minimalist joke?
Copy !req
1155. - No.
- That's where he starts.
It's supposed to be funny.
Copy !req
1156. - I'm supposed to laugh.
- Here's one.
Copy !req
1157. - Knock.
- Knock?
Copy !req
1158. Knock. This is the joke.
Copy !req
1159. - Knock? That's it?
- That's it. That-That's funny?
Copy !req
1160. This guy comes in here,
he asks for Q-Tips.
Copy !req
1161. - Q-Tips?
- We can't even give aspirin.
I think he's kidding.
Copy !req
1162. - Is this a joke?
- He gets mad at me
because I don't have Q-Tips.
Copy !req
1163. This is no drugstore. What?
Copy !req
1164. Cool.
Copy !req
1165. What? What do you want?
Copy !req
1166. I'll have a...
Copy !req
1167. Shirley Temple
with extra "marciano" cherries.
Copy !req
1168. Maraschino.
Copy !req
1169. That's what I said.
Maraschino.
Copy !req
1170. You should get— Get him a Madonna.
You know what a Madonna is?
Copy !req
1171. - No.
- Shirley Temple without the cherry.
Copy !req
1172. Bring him one of these, will ya?
I'm Paulie. How's it hangin'?
Copy !req
1173. - Okay. My name is Jack.
- Uh, hi, Jack.
Copy !req
1174. Yeah.
Copy !req
1175. - There you go, buddy.
- To-To Paulie.
Copy !req
1176. Yeah. Come on,
knock it back, will you.
Copy !req
1177. - Here's lookin' at you, kid.
- I'm no kid!
Copy !req
1178. All right.
Copy !req
1179. - You like that?
Gets all the bugs outta your nose.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1180. So she says to me— She says,
"I wanna spank you now."
Copy !req
1181. - Oh, no.
- Can you believe it? Spank me?
Copy !req
1182. - Boy, you must have been a bad boy.
- Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
1183. - Oh, Paulie was bad.
- Bad? Ow, wow. What did you do?
Copy !req
1184. Well, you know, this led to that
and I-I-I ended up goin' limp.
Copy !req
1185. - You hurt your leg.
- Yeah, I ju— I cou—
I couldn't get it started.
Copy !req
1186. I'm stuck there in my birthday suit,
as limp as a wet noodle.
Copy !req
1187. - It was your birthday?
- Humiliated beyond belief,
beyond repair.
Copy !req
1188. Wow. Ever happened to you?
Copy !req
1189. - Lots.
- Oh, Christ. Oh, man.
Copy !req
1190. Oh, that is a pity.
Copy !req
1191. - Well, what can I tell ya, man?
You married man, Jack? No?
- Not yet.
Copy !req
1192. "Not yet." You're a lucky man.
Don't give that up.
Copy !req
1193. Yeah, mine, uh,
mine threw me out...
Copy !req
1194. when she found out
about my little escapades.
Copy !req
1195. She wanted to take me back,
but I-I said— I said no.
Copy !req
1196. I said, "No, 'cause it's time
to make a change."
Copy !req
1197. 'Cause that's what it's about,
isn't it? It's all about change.
Copy !req
1198. God, I'll tell ya.
Copy !req
1199. It is God's cruel trick, Jack.
Copy !req
1200. First you start losin' your hair.
Copy !req
1201. - Yeah, then it starts
growin' on your back.
- On your back, yeah!
Copy !req
1202. - See? Like that.
- Out of your nose. Look at that.
Copy !req
1203. - And your ears.
- And your ears, yeah.
Copy !req
1204. What's that all about?
Copy !req
1205. Your eyebrows start growin'
all out of whack.
Copy !req
1206. Next thing you know, you're
walking around like some bald gorilla.
Copy !req
1207. They call you a freak.
Copy !req
1208. Before you know it, you're pushing up
the daisies in some depressing cemetery.
Copy !req
1209. Ooh.
Copy !req
1210. Now there is
a sad story for you.
Copy !req
1211. - I know her.
- Yeah, you do?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1212. Husband ran out on her and
the kids a couple years back?
Copy !req
1213. - Kid.
- They haven't seen her since, I guess.
Copy !req
1214. Bet you could crack walnuts
on her ass too.
Copy !req
1215. - Hey, go for it, big Jack.
- Hi, boys.
- Hi, D.D.
Copy !req
1216. Oh!
Copy !req
1217. Principal Powell!
Copy !req
1218. I'm so surprised
to see you here.
Copy !req
1219. Oh, what a nice surprise.
I can't believe it!
Copy !req
1220. Nice to see you.
It's nice to see someone I know.
Copy !req
1221. Oh, well, that's a nice thing to say.
How're you doing?
Copy !req
1222. - I can't believe you're here.
- Me too.
Copy !req
1223. Believe me, that wasn't
the first matchbook I ever passed out.
Copy !req
1224. Mmm. Ooh. That looks like fun.
Wanna go dance?
Copy !req
1225. Okay.
Copy !req
1226. Oh.
Copy !req
1227. Mmm. So gallant.
You man, you.
Copy !req
1228. Shoo-doo, shoo-be-doo
Copy !req
1229. Shoo-doo, shoo-be-doo
Copy !req
1230. Shoo-doo, shoo-be-doo
Copy !req
1231. Shoo-doo, shoo-be-whoa
Copy !req
1232. In the still of the night
Copy !req
1233. - I like you.
- I held you
Copy !req
1234. - You're so different
from a lot of the men I know.
- Held you tight
Copy !req
1235. And do you know
who else likes you?
Copy !req
1236. My Louie. He's a great
judge of character.
Copy !req
1237. I don't know where
he gets it from.
Copy !req
1238. Because, of course, he hates
everybody that I usually go for.
Copy !req
1239. I like a burly guy.
Copy !req
1240. Uh-oh, honey.
Copy !req
1241. Mmm.
Copy !req
1242. I got a good feeling
about you, mister.
Copy !req
1243. The stars were bright above
I remember
Copy !req
1244. I'll hope
Copy !req
1245. And I'll pray
Copy !req
1246. To keep your precious love
Copy !req
1247. - What's the matter?
- I gotta go.
- Why?
Copy !req
1248. Why?
Copy !req
1249. - Your Louie's mom. I gotta go.
- That's what makes it so perfect, honey.
Copy !req
1250. I'm Louie's mom,
and you're Louie's principal.
Copy !req
1251. In the still of the night
Copy !req
1252. - Hey, watch it!
- Hey! Hey! Watch it!
- Whoa! You!
Copy !req
1253. That's the second time tonight.
What, are you stupid?
Copy !req
1254. - All right, all right.
- Whoa, whoa!
- Leave him alone!
Copy !req
1255. Where are you goin', man?
I want an apology!
Copy !req
1256. - I'm sorry.
- No, no, no. That's not
going to be good enough.
Copy !req
1257. - "Sorry."
- Well, I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1258. Jeez, what is it with you?
What? Are you totally hyper
or something? Too much sugar?
Copy !req
1259. What? Do you think
you're pretty smart?
Copy !req
1260. Yeah, I do good in everything
except social studies.
Copy !req
1261. Studies? How'd you like
to study my fist?
Copy !req
1262. Hey, hey, hey!
Leave him alone, asshole!
Copy !req
1263. - Come on, Mr Powell.
Let's just get out of—
- What's the matter, man?
Copy !req
1264. - You gotta let your girlfriend
here stand up for you?
- Come on. Just let's go.
Copy !req
1265. - You know what your problem is, mister?
- Ignore him.
Copy !req
1266. - You got the "Zackly" disease.
- What's that?
Copy !req
1267. That's where you mouth smells
"zackly" like your butt!
Copy !req
1268. Where'd you get that from?
Louis? He always says that.
Copy !req
1269. - Come on. Let's just go.
- And you're a loser!
- Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
1270. - Losers say "what."
- What?
- Loser!
Copy !req
1271. - Rubber, glue, sticks to you! Got him!
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
1272. This guy's very tough!
Stop with this! Let's go!
Copy !req
1273. - I'm a loser, but
you're a son of a bitch!
- I can't believe you said that!
Copy !req
1274. You cussed!
Oh, you said the "B" word!
Copy !req
1275. Oh, you're gonna get in
so much trouble! You really are!
Copy !req
1276. Trouble?
Copy !req
1277. - Here's some trouble!
- Come on, Principal Powell!
Copy !req
1278. Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
Copy !req
1279. Hey, you all right?
Copy !req
1280. You okay?
Copy !req
1281. - Paulie!
- Huh?
- Paulie!
Copy !req
1282. Oh, don't worry about it.
Happens all the time.
Copy !req
1283. Mr Powell, put your feet
on the marks on the floor.
Copy !req
1284. Now look up at the camera.
Hold the plaque chin high.
Copy !req
1285. Now turn to your right.
Copy !req
1286. Jack Powell.
Copy !req
1287. Your bail's posted, pal.
Copy !req
1288. Come on.
Copy !req
1289. Let's get your stuff here
and you can go.
Copy !req
1290. You've got a library card...
Copy !req
1291. a pocket knife...
Copy !req
1292. Spider-Man watch,
Pez dispenser.
Copy !req
1293. Where's my Pog?
Copy !req
1294. It was the slammer.
Copy !req
1295. Is my mom here?
Copy !req
1296. Oh! Oh, Mr Powell!
Are you okay?
Copy !req
1297. Hey, buddy boy.
Hey, kid!
Copy !req
1298. They were pretty shocked to hear
they arrested the principal,
but they let you go.
Copy !req
1299. - Sorry about tonight.
- Oh, that's okay.
Copy !req
1300. Mmm, boy.
Copy !req
1301. You've got eyes
just like Louis.
Copy !req
1302. So young-looking.
Copy !req
1303. You know, that's
the strangest thing.
Copy !req
1304. What kind
of eye cream do you use...
Copy !req
1305. and can I have about a quart?
Copy !req
1306. Well, it's been a long night.
Copy !req
1307. I'm going to let you
out of my chariot.
Copy !req
1308. - Gotta be going.
- Thanks for taking me home.
Copy !req
1309. Good night, Mr Powell.
Copy !req
1310. - Hey, Mr Woodruff.
- Hey, kid.
- Hi!
Copy !req
1311. - Hi, Mr Woodruff.
- How ya doin', fellas?
Copy !req
1312. - How's the tree house comin'?
- Looks like my room.
You know what that looks like.
Copy !req
1313. We're just hangin',
tryin' to catch Jack.
Copy !req
1314. Jack's still a little tired,
boys, and he's sleeping.
Copy !req
1315. - I'll tell him you came by.
- Give me some skin, boys.
Copy !req
1316. I'll take this up
to Jack for you.
Copy !req
1317. Bye, Mr Woodruff.
Bye, Mrs Powell.
Copy !req
1318. Thank you for coming.
Copy !req
1319. He's been in his room
for two-and-a-half weeks.
Copy !req
1320. Maybe you could
talk to him.
Copy !req
1321. He's very confused.
Copy !req
1322. I think he's realized
how fragile his life is.
Copy !req
1323. You know,
maybe I'm not the answer.
Copy !req
1324. - Maybe he needs
to go back to school—
- He can't go back to school.
Copy !req
1325. That's what started this
in the first place.
Copy !req
1326. We can't risk
his health again.
Copy !req
1327. Jack, Mr. Woodruff's here
to see you.
Copy !req
1328. Here, give me this.
Thank you.
Copy !req
1329. Jack, honey.
Copy !req
1330. Mr Woodruff's here to see you.
Copy !req
1331. So why don't you want me
to teach you any more?
Copy !req
1332. Why do I have to learn stuff
I'm never gonna use?
Copy !req
1333. That isn't why
I'm teaching you, Jack.
Copy !req
1334. I'm teaching you so you'll learn
something new, interesting.
Copy !req
1335. That's all.
Copy !req
1336. I don't care any more.
Copy !req
1337. - Is he sick?
- No, I don't think so.
Copy !req
1338. - Then what's wrong with him?
- Yeah, what's wrong with him?
Copy !req
1339. - He's aging.
- Is he coming back?
Copy !req
1340. - I wish he'd come back.
- So do I.
Copy !req
1341. - Yeah, so do I.
- Hey, we all do.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1342. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1343. - Going home.
- You be back tomorrow?
Copy !req
1344. - This is yours.
- You can't quit.
Copy !req
1345. I don't consider
myself quitting.
Copy !req
1346. I consider myself
losing a student.
Copy !req
1347. You know why I like
to teach children, Jack?
Copy !req
1348. So I don't get so wrapped up
in being an adult.
Copy !req
1349. So I can remember
that there are other things...
Copy !req
1350. that are important in life.
Copy !req
1351. Like riding a bike...
Copy !req
1352. playing in a tree house,
splashing water with good shoes on.
Copy !req
1353. And you, my friend,
were my most special student.
Copy !req
1354. And, until recently, you were
everything I ever wanted in a student.
Copy !req
1355. You were a shooting star
amongst ordinary stars.
Copy !req
1356. Have you even seen
a shooting star, Jack?
Copy !req
1357. - No.
- Oh, it's—
Copy !req
1358. It's wonderful.
It passes quickly...
Copy !req
1359. but while it's here,
it just lights up the whole sky.
Copy !req
1360. It's the most beautiful thing
you'd ever want to see.
Copy !req
1361. So beautiful
that the other stars...
Copy !req
1362. stop...
Copy !req
1363. and watch.
Copy !req
1364. - You almost never see one.
- Why?
Copy !req
1365. Because they're very rare,
quite rare.
Copy !req
1366. But I saw one.
Copy !req
1367. I did.
Copy !req
1368. I just want to be
a regular star.
Copy !req
1369. Jack, you'll never
be regular.
Copy !req
1370. You're spectacular.
Copy !req
1371. Mr Woodruff?
Copy !req
1372. Eureka.
Copy !req
1373. Yo, Mrs Powell!
Copy !req
1374. Hey, Mrs Powell!
Copy !req
1375. Hey, Jack's mother!
Copy !req
1376. Jack's mother!
Copy !req
1377. Mrs Powell!
Copy !req
1378. Hey, can Jack
come out and play?
Copy !req
1379. I'm sorry, Louis.
He can't.
Copy !req
1380. But why don't you try again
in a couple of days?
Copy !req
1381. Hey, Jack's mother?
Copy !req
1382. - Mrs Powell?
- Mrs Powell!
Copy !req
1383. Can Jack come out and play?
Copy !req
1384. He doesn't want to.
Copy !req
1385. Hey, Jack's mother!
Copy !req
1386. Jack's mother!
Copy !req
1387. Hey, Jack's mother!
Copy !req
1388. Can Jack come out and play?
Copy !req
1389. Girls, I'm sorry.
He doesn't want to.
Copy !req
1390. Can we at least see him
so we'll know that he's alive?
Copy !req
1391. - I told you!
- No, I told you!
- I told you.
Copy !req
1392. I said she wasn't
gonna let us see him—
Copy !req
1393. - No!
- And you said, "Yes, she is. Let's go!"
Copy !req
1394. And I said,
"No, he feels too bad."
Copy !req
1395. That's not true!
Copy !req
1396. - And you said—
- I told you—
- Of course, as always, you say—
Copy !req
1397. I said that—
Copy !req
1398. - Hey, Jack's mother!
- I know. I know.
Copy !req
1399. - Can Jack come out and play?
- Yeah, can he come out and play?
Copy !req
1400. - You are not going to go away, are you?
- Hey, Jack's mother!
Copy !req
1401. - I know what you're doing.
- Yo, Jack! Come on out, man!
Copy !req
1402. - Yeah, come on out!
- Kids, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1403. I know he misses you, but
he just doesn't want to come out today.
Copy !req
1404. - Hey, guys.
- Try again some other time.
- What's up, Victor?
Copy !req
1405. Mario, Eric!
Copy !req
1406. Hurry up. Come on!
Copy !req
1407. Hey, Jack! Come out and play!
Copy !req
1408. Come on, Jack!
Come on out right now! Come on!
Copy !req
1409. Why won't you come out
and play with us?
Copy !req
1410. Come on, Jack.
Just like old times! Come on, Jack!
Copy !req
1411. - We're all here to see you!
- I miss you at the court, Jack!
Copy !req
1412. Shoo! Go away!
Copy !req
1413. Go on!
Copy !req
1414. Can Jack come out to play?
Copy !req
1415. Mom, Dad.
Copy !req
1416. I'm going to school.
Copy !req
1417. Mom, please say it's okay.
Copy !req
1418. Well, you better hurry up.
You don't want to be late.
Copy !req
1419. - Thanks.
- Wait.
Copy !req
1420. - Uh—
- A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Copy !req
1421. - Okay.
- Uh, Principal McGee, please.
- Gotta turn in my assignment.
Copy !req
1422. "When I grow up, I want
to put on about 250 pounds...
Copy !req
1423. and be a rapper like Heavy D,
except Heavy E.
Copy !req
1424. I want to go to China and, uh...
Copy !req
1425. film a music video
called 'Chubby.'
Copy !req
1426. Then, I might wanna be
a part-time boxer...
Copy !req
1427. or maybe a kickboxer
so I can kick some butt."
Copy !req
1428. Louis.
Copy !req
1429. "I want to be just like
my best friend when I grow up.
Copy !req
1430. He's only 10,
but he looks much older.
Copy !req
1431. He's like the perfect grown-up,
because on the inside...
Copy !req
1432. he's still just a kid.
Copy !req
1433. He's not afraid to learn things
or try things...
Copy !req
1434. or to meet new people
the way most grown-ups are.
Copy !req
1435. It's like he's looking at
everything for the first time...
Copy !req
1436. because he is.
Copy !req
1437. And most grown-ups
aren't like that.
Copy !req
1438. Most grown-ups just want
to go to work and make money...
Copy !req
1439. and show off
for the neighbours.
Copy !req
1440. And more than anything,
he knows how to be a great friend...
Copy !req
1441. - more than most people
who look like adults."
- It's Jack.
Copy !req
1442. - Jack's here!
- It's Jack!
Copy !req
1443. Jack! It's so good
to have you back.
Copy !req
1444. - Sorry I'm late.
- That's okay.
Copy !req
1445. - Hi, Jack.
- Hi, Louie.
- Your seat's waiting for you.
Copy !req
1446. - We were just in the middle
of Louis' essay.
- Hey, Jack.
Copy !req
1447. - Welcome back.
- Hey, buddy.
Copy !req
1448. Louis, you may continue.
Copy !req
1449. "More than anything...
Copy !req
1450. he knows how to be
a great friend...
Copy !req
1451. more than most people
who look like adults.
Copy !req
1452. So I may not know what
I want to be when I grow up...
Copy !req
1453. and right now
I really don't care...
Copy !req
1454. but I do know
who I want to be like.
Copy !req
1455. I want to be like the giant...
Copy !req
1456. the big guy...
Copy !req
1457. my best friend...
Copy !req
1458. Jack."
Copy !req
1459. Thank you.
Copy !req
1460. Good job, Louis.
Copy !req
1461. Very good, Louis.
Copy !req
1462. That was wonderful, Louis.
Copy !req
1463. Yeah, Louis.
That was wonderful.
Copy !req
1464. Okay, class.
Let's begin our lesson today.
Copy !req
1465. Turn to page 173.
Copy !req
1466. Are you okay, Jack?
Copy !req
1467. All right, everybody.
That's enough. Come on.
Copy !req
1468. Settle down.
Copy !req
1469. Oh, thank you. Oh, Louis.
Copy !req
1470. Louis, come here, sweetie.
Let me take a picture of you.
Copy !req
1471. - Wait. Come here.
- Louie.
- Louie, come on.
Copy !req
1472. Smile. I'm still payin'
the damn orthodontist.
Copy !req
1473. - Okay, take a picture.
- Come on, come on, come on!
Copy !req
1474. - Okay. Here, come on.
- Louie, right there.
- Sweetie.
Copy !req
1475. - Please, baby.
- Right there. That's good.
Copy !req
1476. Ooh, Eddie! Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
Copy !req
1477. - Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- You sure? You sure?
Copy !req
1478. - Yeah?
- I'm sure.
Copy !req
1479. - John-John!
- George! What's up, fellas?
Copy !req
1480. - Graduation!
- Hey, Eddie.
Copy !req
1481. Hey, let's go find everybody.
Copy !req
1482. - You always want to sit by Johnny.
- No, I don't.
Copy !req
1483. - Stop!
- You stop.
- Please.
Copy !req
1484. - Please yourself.
- Okay, I will.
- Do that.
Copy !req
1485. I'll take her out, Brian.
Copy !req
1486. Oh!
Copy !req
1487. Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my honour to introduce...
Copy !req
1488. this year's valedictorian,
Jack Charles Powell.
Copy !req
1489. Thank you, Aristotle.
Copy !req
1490. Sorry.
Copy !req
1491. Yo, Jack! Go get 'em!
Copy !req
1492. I got it, Eric.
Copy !req
1493. I'm cool.
Copy !req
1494. My speech.
Copy !req
1495. I don't have
very much time these days...
Copy !req
1496. so I'll make it quick,
like my life.
Copy !req
1497. You know, as we come to the end
of this phase of our life...
Copy !req
1498. we find ourselves trying
to remember the good times...
Copy !req
1499. and trying to forget
the bad times.
Copy !req
1500. We find ourselves
thinking about the future...
Copy !req
1501. and start to worry, thinking,
"What am I gonna do?
Copy !req
1502. Where am I gonna be
in ten years?"
Copy !req
1503. But I say to you...
Copy !req
1504. "Hey...
Copy !req
1505. look at me."
Copy !req
1506. Please, don't worry so much.
Copy !req
1507. Because in the end, none of us
have very long on this earth.
Copy !req
1508. Life is fleeting.
Copy !req
1509. And if you're ever distressed...
Copy !req
1510. cast your eyes
to the summer sky.
Copy !req
1511. When the stars are strung
across the velvety night...
Copy !req
1512. and when a shooting star
streaks through the blackness...
Copy !req
1513. turning night into day...
Copy !req
1514. make a wish...
Copy !req
1515. and think of me.
Copy !req
1516. And make your life spectacular.
Copy !req
1517. I know I did.
Copy !req
1518. I made it, Mom.
Copy !req
1519. I'm a grown-up.
Copy !req
1520. Thank you.
Copy !req
1521. - Come on, Jackie! Let's go!
- Let's go!
Copy !req
1522. Mom, it's the guys.
I gotta go.
Copy !req
1523. - See ya!
- Not too late.
- Yeah, next Tuesday.
Copy !req
1524. Whoa! How sweet it is. Mom!
Copy !req
1525. Let's go!
Copy !req
1526. - I got it! I got it!
- Let's go!
- Come on!
Copy !req
1527. - Yeah!
- Come on.
- You all right?
Copy !req
1528. Ah, there you go.
Yeah, all right!
Copy !req
1529. See ya, Mom!
Copy !req
1530. Yeah!
Copy !req
1531. Let's go! Out of here.
We made it.
Copy !req
1532. Whatcha gonna do
when you grow up
Copy !req
1533. Whatcha gonna do
when your time is up
Copy !req
1534. What you gonna say
when things go wrong
Copy !req
1535. What you gonna do
when you're on your own
Copy !req
1536. There's a road
Copy !req
1537. Long and windin'
Copy !req
1538. The lights are blindin'
Copy !req
1539. But it gets there
Copy !req
1540. Don't give up
Copy !req
1541. Don't look back
Copy !req
1542. There's a silver linin'
Copy !req
1543. It's out there somewhere
Copy !req
1544. Everybody wants an answer
Copy !req
1545. Everybody needs a friend
Copy !req
1546. We all need a shining star
Copy !req
1547. On which we can depend
Copy !req
1548. So tonight we're gonna wish
Copy !req
1549. Upon a star we never
wished upon before
Copy !req
1550. What you gonna do
when you grow up
Copy !req
1551. Find what you're looking for
Copy !req
1552. There'll be times
Copy !req
1553. In your life
Copy !req
1554. Yeah, when you'll
be dancin' and shit
Copy !req
1555. But you ain't gettin' it
Copy !req
1556. Don't get disillusioned
Copy !req
1557. No, don't expect too much
Copy !req
1558. 'Cause if what you have
is all you can get
Copy !req
1559. Just keep on tryin'
It just ain't happened yet
Copy !req
1560. Everybody wants to be a winner
Copy !req
1561. Everybody has a dream
Copy !req
1562. We all need a shining star
Copy !req
1563. When things ain't
what they seem
Copy !req
1564. So tonight we're gonna wish
Copy !req
1565. Upon a star we never
wished upon before
Copy !req
1566. Gotta get where
you're heading for
Copy !req
1567. Oh, yeah
Copy !req
1568. Ooh
Copy !req
1569. Everybody wants some kindness
Copy !req
1570. Everybody needs a break
Copy !req
1571. We all need a shining star
Copy !req
1572. When things get hard to take
Copy !req
1573. So tonight we're gonna wish
Copy !req
1574. Upon a star we never
wished upon before
Copy !req
1575. Whatcha gonna do
when you grow up
Copy !req
1576. Yeah, tonight
we're gonna wish
Copy !req
1577. Upon a star we never
wished upon before
Copy !req
1578. Whatcha gonna do
when you grow up
Copy !req
1579. Whatcha gonna do
when your time is up
Copy !req
1580. Gonna find what
you're looking for
Copy !req
1581. So don't get disillusioned
Copy !req
1582. No, don't spin too much
Copy !req
1583. Hey, it's out there
somewhere, baby
Copy !req
1584. Whatcha gonna say
when things go wrong
Copy !req
1585. Whatcha gonna do
when you're on your own
Copy !req
1586. Whatcha gonna do
when you grow up
Copy !req
1587. Can Jack come out to play?
Copy !req