1. It's a mad, mad, mad...Copy !req
2. Whoa!Copy !req
3. Did you see it,
the way he went sailing right out there?Copy !req
4. - He just went sailing out there.
- It was just terrible.Copy !req
5. He must have been doing over 80.Copy !req
6. An ambulance...
We ought to call an ambulance.Copy !req
7. Look at that car.Copy !req
8. He must have gone by you
doing 90 miles an hour.Copy !req
9. He was passing me! I never saw
such a crazy thing in my life!Copy !req
10. - Let's get down there.
- Let's go.Copy !req
11. We're going down there.Copy !req
12. Russell, be careful.
Remember your condition.Copy !req
13. Eh!Copy !req
14. Boy, the way he just
sailed out there...Copy !req
15. Look out.Copy !req
16. [Man 2] There's nobody in the car.Copy !req
17. - He's right.
- What do you mean, nobody?Copy !req
18. [Man 3] There he is.Copy !req
19. [Man 4] Holy smoke!Copy !req
20. How about that?
This guy's still alive.Copy !req
21. He's still alive.Copy !req
22. We ought to call an ambulance.Copy !req
23. I don't know how he survived, the way
you went sailing right out there.Copy !req
24. I'm not a doctor,
but I have some medical experience.Copy !req
25. I'm a dentist.Copy !req
26. Do you think you're hurt real bad?Copy !req
27. Is he kidding?Copy !req
28. Hold on, we're gonna get you
to a hospital.Copy !req
29. You move me,
I'll break up in little pieces.Copy !req
30. But what a deal.Copy !req
31. Look, there's this dough, see?Copy !req
32. There's all this dough: $350,000!Copy !req
33. Do you hear what I'm saying?Copy !req
34. $350,000!Copy !req
35. In the park, in Rosita,
Rosita Beach State Park...Copy !req
36. just south of Dago in Santa Rosita.Copy !req
37. It's in this box buried under this...Copy !req
38. Buried under this big W.Copy !req
39. You'll see it.Copy !req
40. You'll see it under this...
under this big W.Copy !req
41. You can't miss it, a big... a big W.Copy !req
42. And it's been there...
And it's been laying there for 15 years.Copy !req
43. He's very sick. He may die.Copy !req
44. Listen. I tell you,
I'm giving it to you.Copy !req
45. And don't let them kid you.
Don't let them kid you.Copy !req
46. Don't let them give you the business
because it was mine and I paid for it...Copy !req
47. paid for every lousy buck of it.Copy !req
48. But watch out.Copy !req
49. Watch out for the bulls.Copy !req
50. Lousy, stinking bulls are everywhere.Copy !req
51. Bulls all over the place.Copy !req
52. You just drive down and dig it up.Copy !req
53. Dig it all up.Copy !req
54. And then...Copy !req
55. And then you fix yourselves all up.Copy !req
56. Fix yourselves all up.Copy !req
57. Walk down the street like a king,
back to the old neighborhood.Copy !req
58. See the fellas, the dames...Copy !req
59. the dames, all with a big hello...Copy !req
60. a big hello for old Smiler.Copy !req
61. Good old Smiler...Copy !req
62. everybody's friend.Copy !req
63. Everybody's...Copy !req
64. - Aunt Belle, I didn't mean to do it!
- Holy mackerel! Take it easy.Copy !req
65. Please, say it don't make
any difference, Aunt Belle!Copy !req
66. Please, you got to say...Copy !req
67. You got to tell me
it don't make any difference!Copy !req
68. For heaven's sake, tell him.Copy !req
69. It... It don't make any difference.Copy !req
70. That guy's dead.
You'd better believe it.Copy !req
71. I believe it, all right.Copy !req
72. But if he jumps up again,
I'm getting the hell out of here.Copy !req
73. - What a routine he went through.
- Somebody ought to cover him up.Copy !req
74. What are you looking at?
All I got is this sweater.Copy !req
75. I got a blanket in the truck.Copy !req
76. Do you think
there was anything in all that?Copy !req
77. - He was just raving. He flipped.Copy !req
78. Hey. This must...
This must be the police.Copy !req
79. Think we ought to tell them
what he said?Copy !req
80. Don't say anything
or we'll be here all day.Copy !req
81. We got to be in Vegas this afternoon.Copy !req
82. I got a van of furniture to get to Yuma.Copy !req
83. My wife and I are on
our second honeymoon.Copy !req
84. My wife's up there with her mother.
We're on our way to Lake Mead.Copy !req
85. What's to argue about? Just clam up.
Don't say nothing.Copy !req
86. This way, we get out of here.Copy !req
87. Are you a police officer?Copy !req
88. Yep!Copy !req
89. - How long ago did this happen?
- A few minutes ago.Copy !req
90. About five minutes ago.Copy !req
91. - Any of you actually see it happen?
- Well, uh...Copy !req
92. - He passed me on the curve...
- Did anybody actually see it?Copy !req
93. He was passing me
when he sailed right out there.Copy !req
94. - Right over there, up there.
- Who was the first down here?Copy !req
95. - We all went down.Copy !req
96. Was he dead?Copy !req
97. Was he already dead?Copy !req
98. I said, "Was he already dead
when you got down here?"Copy !req
99. Practically.Copy !req
100. He was still alive.
Did he say anything?Copy !req
101. - Did he say anything before he died?
- What about?Copy !req
102. What do you mean, "what about?"Copy !req
103. Did he say anything
or didn't he say anything?Copy !req
104. - He was raving, Officer.
- Raving? What about?Copy !req
105. Well, he said...
What he said was sort of...Copy !req
106. Embarrassing.Copy !req
107. What was? Come on.Copy !req
108. He thought
that this fellow was his aunt.Copy !req
109. - His aunt?
- Yeah. His Aunt Belle.Copy !req
110. Must have had an aunt
named Aunt Belle.Copy !req
111. All right!Copy !req
112. Did he make any kind of statement?
Any last messages?Copy !req
113. He didn't make that clear at all.Copy !req
114. He didn't make anything clear.
Can we get going?Copy !req
115. Just a minute.Copy !req
116. I'll get your names
and where you can be reached.Copy !req
117. We're on our honeymoon.
We don't know where we'll be.Copy !req
118. We can't stick around.Copy !req
119. We're due in Las Vegas.
We don't know how long we'll stay there.Copy !req
120. I got a van of furniture to get to Yuma
before I get back to...Copy !req
121. We stopped to see if we could help.Copy !req
122. We was too late. Let us go, okay?Copy !req
123. We'll hold services for him later.
We got our lives to live.Copy !req
124. - We ain't had breakfast yet.
- All right.Copy !req
125. I'll have to get your name, anyway.Copy !req
126. Hold it.Copy !req
127. Me?Copy !req
128. - Why?
- In case the coroner wants a statement.Copy !req
129. J. Russell Finch,
2790 Penrose Boulevard, Fresno.Copy !req
130. I won't be home for a few weeks
but you can get me through my office.Copy !req
131. - What'd you say?
- Where is your office?Copy !req
132. Pacific Edible Seaweed Company
and it's in Fresno.Copy !req
133. - You can call my secretary.
- Ambulance is on its way.Copy !req
134. Yeah.Copy !req
135. - Is he dead?
- Yeah.Copy !req
136. We'd better shift those cars.
They're on the curb.Copy !req
137. That's all we can get from this group.Copy !req
138. Thank you, gentlemen.Copy !req
139. Thanks.Copy !req
140. Well...Copy !req
141. There's an unexpected twist for you.Copy !req
142. They're not going to like this
down at Santa Rosita.Copy !req
143. - Culpeper's going to scream.
- Yeah.Copy !req
144. - We better get our story straight if...
- What story?Copy !req
145. He woke up as usual.
He started driving his car.Copy !req
146. He stopped for breakfast.Copy !req
147. He went to the gents' room,
climbed out the back window.Copy !req
148. So what? Even Culpeper can't say
we should've been in there with him.Copy !req
149. What got me is the way
he went sailing out there.Copy !req
150. If I have to climb much more,
I'll be laying there with him.Copy !req
151. Poor soul.Copy !req
152. Uh...Copy !req
153. Melville, what happened?Copy !req
154. We couldn't do anything for him.
Nothing we could do. Come on.Copy !req
155. Well?Copy !req
156. Uh...Copy !req
157. - It was a terrible thing.
- Russell, I feel sick.Copy !req
158. Take it easy. These things happen.Copy !req
159. What kind of attitude is that,
"these things happen"?Copy !req
160. They only happen because this country
is full of people...Copy !req
161. who, when things happen,
just say, "These things happen."Copy !req
162. - And that's why they happen!
- Let's try not to get upset.Copy !req
163. Come on.Copy !req
164. We got to have control
of what happens to us.Copy !req
165. If we left it up to you,
we'd never hear the last of it.Copy !req
166. - You're right.Copy !req
167. Do you know what those half-wit
morons up in Sacramento do about it?Copy !req
168. They just sit there with their big feet
up on their big desk...Copy !req
169. milking 15 million people of...
- Listen, I want to say something.Copy !req
170. I'm sorry to interrupt,
but I've got to say something.Copy !req
171. - What are you looking at?
- I'm watching something.Copy !req
172. Benjy, turn around, sit still.Copy !req
173. - Play it straight.
- They're not kiddin'. They went for it.Copy !req
174. Yeah? What are you going to do now?Copy !req
175. I want you to tell me everything
that man told you, word for word.Copy !req
176. Don't leave out anything.Copy !req
177. But do you think he really meant it?Copy !req
178. Monica, I don't know about anybody else,
but some of them believed it.Copy !req
179. Like those two back there.
Don't look over there!Copy !req
180. I know where it is. It's under a big W.
That's what he said.Copy !req
181. Like a windmill or a waterfall
or something.Copy !req
182. I hope it's not under a waterfall.Copy !req
183. Think of something that starts with a W.Copy !req
184. Wealth. Which.Copy !req
185. Let's see. Where.Copy !req
186. Work. That's it.
I got to work on where it is.Copy !req
187. One thing Dr. Carroll said was Russell
was to have no undue excitement...Copy !req
188. for at least two weeks
because of his condition.Copy !req
189. - But...
- That's why we came on this trip...Copy !req
190. so Russell could relax.
You should have told the police.Copy !req
191. You keep saying that.
What's the police got to do with it?Copy !req
192. I think the police were chasing him.
They drove up so fast.Copy !req
193. Why shouldn't they've been chasing him?
He was speeding.Copy !req
194. I'm only thinking
of Russell's condition.Copy !req
195. You mean his financial condition.
That's the only condition he has.Copy !req
196. Do you know why your husband
had a nervous breakdown?Copy !req
197. It's because he has sunk $40,000,
including $15,000 of my money...Copy !req
198. into a company that makes
seaweed for people to eat.Copy !req
199. Not only does nobody like it,
it costs $4 a can.Copy !req
200. - Yeah, but...
- "Yeah, but," what?Copy !req
201. Most people like it and I like it.Copy !req
202. I'm working hard,
trying to keep the costs down.Copy !req
203. You were working hard
to keep the costs down...Copy !req
204. the day you ran
into the street screaming.Copy !req
205. - Mother!
- Emmeline, shut up! And you, too!Copy !req
206. Maybe he was playing
a trick on everybody.Copy !req
207. Did you think about that?
He might have been a practical joker.Copy !req
208. Oh... Monica! Practical!Copy !req
209. What kind of man is going to play a
practical joke on complete strangers...Copy !req
210. with every bone in his body broken?Copy !req
211. - Watch! Watchtower!
- No.Copy !req
212. - Wall...
- No.Copy !req
213. - Walnut tree.
- No, no!Copy !req
214. - Walnuts.
- No!Copy !req
215. - In bags.
- No!Copy !req
216. Why are we doing only 35?
Step on it! See what happens.Copy !req
217. - Mother!
- They'll see what we're doing.Copy !req
218. Go ahead and try it.
What've you got to lose?Copy !req
219. Mother, he's not that good a driver.Copy !req
220. - Uh-huh.
- A-ha!Copy !req
221. Going to leave the big boy behind?Copy !req
222. What are you doing?
Why are we slowing down?Copy !req
223. It's no use.
We can't lose them this way.Copy !req
224. The inside of my stomach...Copy !req
225. What's that idiot in the truck doing?Copy !req
226. What's he doin' back there?Copy !req
227. I bet he's running out of gas. Good!Copy !req
228. What happened to you?Copy !req
229. - Having trouble with your engine?
- Run out of gas?Copy !req
230. - What, you bend your tailpipe?
- No. It was just one of my tires.Copy !req
231. I thought...Copy !req
232. Shucks! Okay, so I was trying to...Copy !req
233. Rats.Copy !req
234. This whole thing...
I think we're making a big mistake.Copy !req
235. - I absolutely agree.
- So?Copy !req
236. We're being silly
running around like this.Copy !req
237. - Sure. We're getting nowhere.
- By george, he's right.Copy !req
238. Let's do something sensible.
Let's just discuss this thing...Copy !req
239. and reason something out.
- I'm with you.Copy !req
240. And we can come to some conclusion
like intelligent people.Copy !req
241. - Let's do that: What he said.Copy !req
242. Yeah. That way nobody will have an
advantage on one another, right?Copy !req
243. It's fair.Copy !req
244. We'd better get the cars off that curve.Copy !req
245. Let's not talk here, but over there.
There's plenty of room.Copy !req
246. Fine, see you over there.Copy !req
247. Over there.Copy !req
248. You're through to Homicide.Copy !req
249. Santa Rosita Police Station...Copy !req
250. Detective Division.Copy !req
251. I'm connecting you now.
Santa Rosita Police Station.Copy !req
252. Detective Division. Matthews.Copy !req
253. No, Sheriff, the Chief isn't here.
He's a little late this morning.Copy !req
254. I'll stay late after school. Who is it?Copy !req
255. - Sheriff, Crockett County.
- Who?Copy !req
256. - That's where the Smiler is.
- I wonder if anything happened.Copy !req
257. Gertie, will you put
that call through here?Copy !req
258. How about some coffee, Schwartz?Copy !req
259. Hello, Sheriff. Culpeper.Copy !req
260. What'd he do, make a break?
What happened?Copy !req
261. Afraid I got some bad news.Copy !req
262. - Grogan's cashed in his chips.
- He what?Copy !req
263. He crashed his car
about 20 minutes ago.Copy !req
264. He was making a break, all right.Copy !req
265. How did it happen?
Where did it happen?Copy !req
266. On 39, about 18 miles east
of Danby Junction.Copy !req
267. - Nine miles west of Valley Center.
- Were there any witnesses?Copy !req
268. A few people went down
to see if they could help.Copy !req
269. - Was he killed outright?
- I don't know, but I can find out.Copy !req
270. Do that. See what they said.Copy !req
271. Thanks very much, Sheriff.Copy !req
272. Well...Copy !req
273. It's a great way to start the day.Copy !req
274. You wait for 15 years
to solve a really important case...Copy !req
275. and just when you...Copy !req
276. It's all right, Chief.
I'll get it for you.Copy !req
277. He did it again.Copy !req
278. Get that fella's number!
Get his number!Copy !req
279. Get that fella's number!
Get his number!Copy !req
280. Item: One large furniture
van. One red Volkswagen.Copy !req
281. That's them. Call in.Copy !req
282. 2-1-6-2, 2-1-5-8.Copy !req
283. We just made all four of them
parked alongside the road.Copy !req
284. They're standing there talking. Over.Copy !req
285. Sammy, let that ambulance
go. And stay by the radio.Copy !req
286. The man said there was a certain amount
of money buried in this park.Copy !req
287. Under a big W.Copy !req
288. What is a big W?Copy !req
289. We find out, we'll send you a wire.Copy !req
290. It's only a possibility
that this man was telling the truth.Copy !req
291. If it was the truth, then it is a fact
this place is almost 200 miles away.Copy !req
292. I suggest we quietly get
into our cars...Copy !req
293. and drive down there
at a safe, sound speed...Copy !req
294. keeping in sight of each other.Copy !req
295. When we get there, we dig up the money,
providing there is money...Copy !req
296. and if we do find it, we share it
amongst us in a simple manner.Copy !req
297. He's got a point. He's got something.Copy !req
298. - We should go straight to the police.
- The police? Why?Copy !req
299. It's all right, she's with us.
What's this "fair shares for everybody"?Copy !req
300. We arrived in four vehicles. I think
we should split it up in four quarters.Copy !req
301. Four quarters?
What are you talking about? Quarters?Copy !req
302. You mean you three each get a quarter
and we have to split a quarter?Copy !req
303. - That's right.
- What are you trying to pull?Copy !req
304. - Seems fair to me.
- Naturally, it's fair to you.Copy !req
305. - It just cheats us, that's all.
- $350,000 divided by four is...Copy !req
306. let's say, $87,500.Copy !req
307. That's what it is.Copy !req
308. The three of you get $87,500
and Benjy and I have to split.Copy !req
309. There was five of us down at the wreck.
We should split it five ways.Copy !req
310. He's right. We should.Copy !req
311. I'm perfectly willing to discuss it
in a five-way manner.Copy !req
312. We can discuss it in a five-way manner,
five shares...Copy !req
313. each share would be $70,000...Copy !req
314. $70,000?Copy !req
315. Holy mackerel!Copy !req
316. You realize how many loads
I'd have to haul from Modesto to Yuma...Copy !req
317. You're overlooking one thing.Copy !req
318. - We're overlooking...
- What little thing?Copy !req
319. - What little thing?
- We can all count.Copy !req
320. - There were eight of us.
- There were eight of us.Copy !req
321. Speaking for my wife and myself,
we'd be just as happy...Copy !req
322. Happy with two-eighths instead
of a quarter? Awfully big of you.Copy !req
323. Wait a minute, hold it.
Put it back the way it was before.Copy !req
324. Either one quarter for each car,Copy !req
325. including the van,
or one fifth for each guy.Copy !req
326. - Because this old bag has to stick...
- How dare you!Copy !req
327. Chief, we got a situation here
that is absolutely incredible.Copy !req
328. - Look, Smiler Grogan... Remember him?
- Yes.Copy !req
329. Smiler Grogan spent the night here, see?Copy !req
330. Made his break this morning.Copy !req
331. He drove up this way, got to here,
crashed and killed himself.Copy !req
332. But before he died,
some people stopped to help him.Copy !req
333. They are now stopped here, talking.Copy !req
334. I think they're arguing about something.Copy !req
335. And a Crockett County unit
has got them under observation.Copy !req
336. We give shares to everybody
and for everything.Copy !req
337. Now, there are eight of us.Copy !req
338. There's eight shares for that.
Then there were four vehicles.Copy !req
339. If we give four shares for that,
that's 12 shares already.Copy !req
340. There were five of us
who went down to the wreck.Copy !req
341. We give five shares for that.Copy !req
342. That makes it 17, right?Copy !req
343. Now, 17 shares and then we add...Copy !req
344. the same number of shares
as people in each vehicle.Copy !req
345. Three for your group, two for yours,
two for us, and one for you.Copy !req
346. That adds up to 25 shares.Copy !req
347. 25 into 350,000 is $14,000 per share.Copy !req
348. Figured like that would mean...Copy !req
349. you'd get three shares for being
three people, one for the car...Copy !req
350. one share for going down
and looking at the wreck...Copy !req
351. and three for being
three more people in the car.Copy !req
352. A total of eight shares,
giving you $112,000.Copy !req
353. That should cover everything,
including the emancipation of women.Copy !req
354. Let's see now.Copy !req
355. I got one share for being one person...Copy !req
356. one share for going down the hill,
one share for the truck...Copy !req
357. one share for being a person
in the truck.Copy !req
358. But no matter how you figure it out, I
still don't get as much as anybody else.Copy !req
359. Let me explain it once more.Copy !req
360. Their group, they, those three of them,
they get $112,000, right?Copy !req
361. Those over there, them,
they get $97,000.Copy !req
362. We, us, we get $84,000.Copy !req
363. And you, by yourself,
you get $56,000...Copy !req
364. alone.Copy !req
365. - That's tax-free money.
- What do you mean, tax-free?Copy !req
366. If we go down to this park
and we uncover the money...Copy !req
367. I'm sure he's not going
to declare anything.Copy !req
368. I know he's not going
to declare anything.Copy !req
369. - I'm not going to declare...
- What are you talking about, declare it?Copy !req
370. I mean, it's like non-taxable income.Copy !req
371. It's like a gift.Copy !req
372. If we find the money,
we still have to report the taxes.Copy !req
373. Otherwise, it's like stealing
from the government.Copy !req
374. You explain it to him, please.Copy !req
375. Who me?Copy !req
376. If we find the money,
there may not be taxes to pay on it...Copy !req
377. because we found it.Copy !req
378. - What he was trying to say is...
- Everybody has to pay taxes.Copy !req
379. Even businessmen that rob,
steal and cheat people every day...Copy !req
380. even they have to pay taxes.Copy !req
381. I give up. Anybody got a better,
fairer plan, go ahead.Copy !req
382. There were eight of us there,
so that simply means eight shares.Copy !req
383. - Three for us, two for you...
- This is hopeless.Copy !req
384. We'll get no place if we continue
listening to this old bag.Copy !req
385. Lady, you trying to split us up
so every man's for himself?Copy !req
386. And every woman for himself?Copy !req
387. One more funny remark from you...Copy !req
388. - Let's get out of here.
- Please, don't argue anymore.Copy !req
389. We figured it 17 different ways.Copy !req
390. Every time we figured it,
it was no good.Copy !req
391. No matter how we figured it,
somebody didn't like it.Copy !req
392. Now there's only one way to figure it.Copy !req
393. And that is, every man...Copy !req
394. including the old bag, for himself!Copy !req
395. - Good luck and may the best man win!
- Right!Copy !req
396. Except you, lady.
May you just drop dead!Copy !req
397. All right. We all agree on that.Copy !req
398. Let's be sensible about this thing.
There's money in this for all of us.Copy !req
399. There's enough for you.
There's enough for you...Copy !req
400. for me...Copy !req
401. and for you...Copy !req
402. and there's enough for...Copy !req
403. Melville, my shoe!Copy !req
404. Get in the car!Copy !req
405. 2-1-5-8, 2-1-6-2, four cars under
observation are passing this checkpoint.Copy !req
406. Lead car is Plymouth station wagon.Copy !req
407. Next, the Ford van, the Volkswagen...Copy !req
408. and the Chrysler Imperial
convertible, all doing about 50.Copy !req
409. Yep, they're on their way.Copy !req
410. All traveling
in the same direction?Copy !req
411. Right. According to my boys...Copy !req
412. they're all
on reckless driving charges already.Copy !req
413. None of those people must suspect
that anybody's interested in them.Copy !req
414. Now, Sheriff,
will you get on to Capt. Hardesty...Copy !req
415. and see how many helicopters
he can let us have?Copy !req
416. I'll see what we can do
and I'll call you back.Copy !req
417. Now, where have I always told you
that the Smiler hid the dough?Copy !req
418. - I know.
- Where?Copy !req
419. - Right there.
- That's right, yeah.Copy !req
420. If these merrymakers
decide to go for it...Copy !req
421. they'll go to the crossroads
and turn south.Copy !req
422. But why did Smiler head east
when he made his break...Copy !req
423. if the money is down here somewhere?Copy !req
424. - Oh!Copy !req
425. Aloysius, the guy is just being clever.
You can't...Copy !req
426. 5 will get you 10...Copy !req
427. they turn south at the crossroads.
- You got yourself a bet.Copy !req
428. "Mount Shasta National Forest."
Are we near...Copy !req
429. That's on the top!
Look down near the bottom.Copy !req
430. - Are we near Oregon?
- That's 700 miles from here.Copy !req
431. Don't pass it!Copy !req
432. You'll lose your license.Copy !req
433. We've got the lmperial
and we're running last?Copy !req
434. I can't pass them on the curves.Copy !req
435. Go on. Go ahead. Look, there's a space!Copy !req
436. You waiting for an engraved invitation?Copy !req
437. Get over!Copy !req
438. Get over to the side
where you belong!Copy !req
439. I said it before and I'll say it again.Copy !req
440. I didn't want to move to California.Copy !req
441. - Did you find it yet?
- I can't find it anywhere.Copy !req
442. Take the wheel. Give me the map.Copy !req
443. Take the wheel! Give me the map.Copy !req
444. It must be here.
Right over here. Valley Center!Copy !req
445. It's right here.Copy !req
446. There's an airfield not far...Copy !req
447. - Get it off your face!Copy !req
448. - Get it off me!
- Don't go in there!Copy !req
449. Swing over! Watch out!Copy !req
450. - Take it off.
- Get it off!Copy !req
451. I've had enough.Copy !req
452. - They're going to hire airplanes.
- Never mind. Go!Copy !req
453. - But they'll be there hours before...
- I said never mind. Let's go!Copy !req
454. Nobody's getting me up in the air.Copy !req
455. I wanted to be reasonable,
give them reasonable shares.Copy !req
456. No. They wanted every man for himself.Copy !req
457. I'm going to show them
what kind of man they're dealing with.Copy !req
458. It's stalled, Benjy.
We got dust in the carburetor.Copy !req
459. When the people who own this see this,
I sure hate to think...Copy !req
460. Never mind.Copy !req
461. Here's the bike.Copy !req
462. Get to the nearest phone
and hire the best car you can find.Copy !req
463. But this is a girl's bike.
This is for a little girl.Copy !req
464. I've got to get this stuff back
so I can lock up the van.Copy !req
465. We'll put everything away.
Will you get going? Hurry.Copy !req
466. Okay.Copy !req
467. I got to admit...Copy !req
468. I feel kind of silly.Copy !req
469. You know what I mean?Copy !req
470. Will you take us or won't you?Copy !req
471. For $250, I guess I will.Copy !req
472. You take care of the plane.
We'll leave our car here till tomorrow.Copy !req
473. - I'll give you a check.
- Check?Copy !req
474. Traveler's check from
the Bank of America. Don't worry.Copy !req
475. - Oh, boy.
- Hey!Copy !req
476. Are you a pilot?
Is there a plane around?Copy !req
477. Right both times.Copy !req
478. Where's an airplane? I don't see any.Copy !req
479. There's only one. We've chartered it.Copy !req
480. - So you and your friend...
- Did you make a deal with them?Copy !req
481. - Right.
- Where can we charter another plane?Copy !req
482. - Nearest place is North Valley.
- Where's that?Copy !req
483. Other side of Valley Center,
about 12 miles, 15 miles.Copy !req
484. - Excuse us.
- Filibuster, filibuster.Copy !req
485. You can stick around
and watch us take off.Copy !req
486. Listen, dentist. I hate dentists.Copy !req
487. I hate you so much, I'm not able to tell
you how much in front of your wife.Copy !req
488. Vice versa.Copy !req
489. - Come on over here! Come on!Copy !req
490. Good morning.Copy !req
491. - Good morning.
- Had an accident?Copy !req
492. - Anyone hurt?
- No, but we've got to get to a phone.Copy !req
493. Can you give us a lift?Copy !req
494. Of course, I should be
absolutely delighted.Copy !req
495. Upsy-daisy. I'm afraid you
caught me on the hub there.Copy !req
496. Madam, do be careful.
I have some cactus specimens...Copy !req
497. - Oh!
- I'm most frightfully sorry.Copy !req
498. I've been gathering some samples
of desert flora.Copy !req
499. Where shall I put this?Copy !req
500. Boy.Copy !req
501. Good morning.Copy !req
502. It certainly is. We're in a hurry.
We've got to get to a phone.Copy !req
503. Of course, with pleasure.Copy !req
504. Jolly nasty accident there.
Jolly lucky nobody was hurt.Copy !req
505. Where did you get that funny accent?
Are you from Harvard or something?Copy !req
506. Harvard? Rather not. I'm English.Copy !req
507. Sounds so foreign.Copy !req
508. Really? I say,
we haven't introduced ourselves.Copy !req
509. My name is Algernon Hawthorne...
Col. Hawthorne.Copy !req
510. - You're a colonel?
- Lieutenant colonel, actually.Copy !req
511. My name is Finch. This is my wife.Copy !req
512. This is my mother-in-law, Mrs. Marcus.Copy !req
513. Do stuff those in the back.Copy !req
514. Cactus. It's rather a hobby of mine.Copy !req
515. Spent the last 10 days
gathering some for my collection.Copy !req
516. Nothing spectacular, actually.Copy !req
517. Cereus echinocactus, opuntia.
That sort of thing.Copy !req
518. Been enjoying a spot of leave
from Vandenberg.Copy !req
519. - From what?
- Vandenberg.Copy !req
520. The missile place.Copy !req
521. I've been attached there
for the last 10 months. Liaison work.Copy !req
522. All very hush-hush and whoosh-whoosh.Copy !req
523. That sort of thing, you know.Copy !req
524. Please, will you look at the road?Copy !req
525. Yes. Whoosh-whoosh.Copy !req
526. - Don't stop! Keep moving!
- Mother!Copy !req
527. That big stupid lout! He ran into us.
Keep moving!Copy !req
528. I won't fly in this old...
Listen to it.Copy !req
529. Look at how it's shuddering.Copy !req
530. Can't we go on our second honeymoon
and forget all about this?Copy !req
531. Honey, please, darling.
Believe me, everything is all right.Copy !req
532. Do you think I'd take a chance with youCopy !req
533. if there was any danger
in flying this thing?Copy !req
534. This plane is really built.Copy !req
535. When was this plane built?Copy !req
536. 1916.Copy !req
537. 1916. These planes are tried and true.Copy !req
538. There's nothing experimental
about these planes.Copy !req
539. So, come on.
Let's have one big adventure.Copy !req
540. Get up there and have some fun.
Here we go.Copy !req
541. - That scratched the paint.
- Help!Copy !req
542. Haven't you got another car...Copy !req
543. What? All right. Thanks.Copy !req
544. Are you sure you can't rent us
that truck? I'll pay.Copy !req
545. I told you, we can't.Copy !req
546. This is our first week open.
How could we do without our truck?Copy !req
547. We're in business.Copy !req
548. We'll have to speak to the Englishman.
If we tell him what happened...Copy !req
549. How can you admit we're involved...Copy !req
550. - He'll say he's entitled to a share.
- He would be if he drove us there.Copy !req
551. If we don't tell him, he won't.Copy !req
552. You're such a genius.Copy !req
553. Listen! Only 10 percent!Copy !req
554. There's no reason
he should expect any more!Copy !req
555. Thanks for stopping.
Can you give me a lift?Copy !req
556. What's with the kiddy bicycle?
Are you some kind of a nut?Copy !req
557. No. I had an accident.
I got to get to Santa Rosita fast.Copy !req
558. Can't help you.
I'm turning off a little way up.Copy !req
559. Wait, let me think.Copy !req
560. I got to tell somebody.
Could you spare a couple of hours?Copy !req
561. Couple of hours?Copy !req
562. You've been out in the sun too long.
You're starting to crack up.Copy !req
563. Wait a minute. Listen.Copy !req
564. Just hear me out.Copy !req
565. What I'm gonna tell you, you just ain't
going to believe it could've happened.Copy !req
566. There was an accident here
a little while back...Copy !req
567. about 20 miles back.
It involved $350,000.Copy !req
568. Now, like I say...Copy !req
569. when I tell you this, you just ain't
going to believe it could've happened.Copy !req
570. Try me. I'm pretty gullible.Copy !req
571. What bothers me is this big W.Copy !req
572. You sure you told me all you know?
You don't know what that guy meant?Copy !req
573. No, none of them know.
It's just who gets there first.Copy !req
574. What do you say? Is it a deal?Copy !req
575. Um... Deal!Copy !req
576. Kid, you better get
that bike out of there.Copy !req
577. Somebody could trip over it in the dark.Copy !req
578. Fellas, I'm glad you're here.
Look, I need your help.Copy !req
579. I had this blowout.
I think a spare's in the back.Copy !req
580. It may be a little flat.
Is there an airport anyplace around?Copy !req
581. If the spare's flat, don't fix it.
Give me a new tire.Copy !req
582. You ain't got a new tire, fix the spare.Copy !req
583. But don't look at me, move it.
You could be gassing up.Copy !req
584. What is it, a staring contest?
Move, move, will you? Come on!Copy !req
585. The pension in my grade...Copy !req
586. has not been upped
one red cent since 1934.Copy !req
587. Now... Uh...Copy !req
588. If the Mayor
will get behind a resolution...Copy !req
589. What can I do?
I can't put any pressure on the Mayor!Copy !req
590. You can, Al.Copy !req
591. That's the whole point.Copy !req
592. This case,
I'll have finished by tonight.Copy !req
593. It's one of the biggest cases
we've ever had across our books.Copy !req
594. Tell the Mayor about it.Copy !req
595. Tell him the money is right here,
where I always said it was...Copy !req
596. right in this neighborhood.Copy !req
597. Tell him what credit will be reflected
upon the department.Copy !req
598. Come on, Aloysius,
get in there and pitch for me.Copy !req
599. I can try.Copy !req
600. He'll listen to you.Copy !req
601. If he gets behind this,
it'll pass unanimously.Copy !req
602. Now, you know...Copy !req
603. You know, Al, I got it coming.Copy !req
604. I'll do everything I can.Copy !req
605. - You know that, don't you?
- Yes.Copy !req
606. There's just one other little thing...Copy !req
607. No. Nothing.Copy !req
608. Vacation.Copy !req
609. Once I get Smiler Grogan out of the way,
my desk is clear.Copy !req
610. I'd like to take a three-week vacation.
Take Ginger on a real nice holiday.Copy !req
611. - Is that all right with you?
- Of course it's all right.Copy !req
612. Thanks. I can hardly wait to tell her.Copy !req
613. - You won't forget about the Mayor?
- No.Copy !req
614. I'll do my best. I promise you that.Copy !req
615. Aloysius,
I'll never forget you for this.Copy !req
616. You know something, Al?
I got a feeling this morning...Copy !req
617. that everything's coming my way.Copy !req
618. Sylvester!Copy !req
619. - Why did you do that?
- Why are you shouting?Copy !req
620. - Do you have to scare everybody?
- Are you crazy?Copy !req
621. Why didn't I think?Copy !req
622. We've been running around like lunatics.Copy !req
623. Why didn't I think about Sylvester?
He's sitting there right now.Copy !req
624. - He lives on Silver Strand Beach.
- I never thought of that.Copy !req
625. - Who on earth is Sylvester?
- My son, Emmeline's brother.Copy !req
626. He's a lifeguard there.Copy !req
627. I'm not entirely certain
that you haven't damaged this machine.Copy !req
628. Kid, don't mind polishing.
I got a lot of cars. Don't bother.Copy !req
629. You did a good job.Copy !req
630. Have a drink on me. Keep the change.Copy !req
631. I took care of your buddy.
Let me go now.Copy !req
632. You!Copy !req
633. No! It's that lunatic
who escaped from the asylum!Copy !req
634. Watch him! He's a homicidal maniac!Copy !req
635. Get on the phone, yell "Mayday."Copy !req
636. Listen to me. I'm a psychiatrist.Copy !req
637. This man is insane! I'm not your nurse.Copy !req
638. He has a hate complex.Copy !req
639. Calm down!Copy !req
640. Somebody will stumble
over the bicycle in the dark, huh?Copy !req
641. When I finish with you, they'll be
stumbling over you in the dark!Copy !req
642. Get on the phone!Copy !req
643. Look out!Copy !req
644. - Look, I was clowning.Copy !req
645. Get out of here! Sir, wait a minute.Copy !req
646. You've got this all...
Why don't you stop?Copy !req
647. I tell you. I'll kill you!Copy !req
648. You got this... Wait!Copy !req
649. - Don't take it so...Copy !req
650. Will you stop staring and get out of...Copy !req
651. He's out of his head.Copy !req
652. - He's crazy!
- Want us to call... Ray!Copy !req
653. It's a brand-new pump!Copy !req
654. - Get out of here!
- Stop that!Copy !req
655. Stop that! He's crazy!Copy !req
656. - Hey.Copy !req
657. Very good. Quick thinking.
I'm proud of you.Copy !req
658. Very good. Tie him up.Copy !req
659. I'll have some orderlies come by
with a straitjacket.Copy !req
660. - Very good. I'm proud of you.
- I never saw anything...Copy !req
661. - How many people has he killed?
- There'll be more.Copy !req
662. Tie him up for the boys
in the white jackets.Copy !req
663. I'm proud of you, boys.
You did a real good job.Copy !req
664. Look me up. I'm in the book.
Dr. Zillman.Copy !req
665. - Sir, we've got to get to Santa Rosita.
- I tell you, this is a club.Copy !req
666. We don't do charters.
Nobody here can take you.Copy !req
667. - Whose plane is that?
- That belongs to Mr. Tyler Fitzgerald.Copy !req
668. He isn't going anywhere today.Copy !req
669. - Is he here? Can we see him?
- Mr. Fitzgerald's in the billiard room.Copy !req
670. - He's asleep. Nobody can talk to him.
- Can we ask him a question?Copy !req
671. - No, you can't.Copy !req
672. Hello? Wait a minute!Copy !req
673. Come on, Benjy.
That must be Mr. Fitzgerald over there!Copy !req
674. - You can't disturb Mr. Fitzgerald!
- We just want to talk to him.Copy !req
675. - Let him rest, please.
- Hello.Copy !req
676. - Sh!
- Don't shush me!Copy !req
677. We're trying to talk to him.Copy !req
678. Wake up, won't you please?Copy !req
679. - I think he's got a cold.Copy !req
680. Mr. Fitzgerald, listen. Please, sir.Copy !req
681. We hate to disturb your sleep,
but it's an emergency.Copy !req
682. You've no right to crash in here.Copy !req
683. That's a head cold.Copy !req
684. Mr. Fitzgerald,
you know where Rosita Beach is?Copy !req
685. - Only you can get us there.
- It's a matter of life and death.Copy !req
686. Right, a matter of life and death.Copy !req
687. - It's our grandmother. She's dying.
- Who's dying?Copy !req
688. Our grandmother is dying
and she's sent for us.Copy !req
689. She's in Rosita Beach.
She's dying and we're up here.Copy !req
690. She'd like us with her when she goes.Copy !req
691. Otherwise, she won't go.Copy !req
692. - She'll go.
- Sir, they forced their way in here.Copy !req
693. No, we didn't. Let me introduce myself.Copy !req
694. I'm Dingy Bell. This is Benjy Benjamin.Copy !req
695. - How do you do?
- Don't start with that!Copy !req
696. Sir, we'd like you to help us out
by taking us down...Copy !req
697. - What's the matter?
- Wait just a minute.Copy !req
698. I can't see!
Something's happened to my eyes.Copy !req
699. I can't see!Copy !req
700. You can't see? He can't see.Copy !req
701. - Must be an eye cold.
- George, I can't see.Copy !req
702. - One minute, Mr. Fitzgerald.
- I can't see! George!Copy !req
703. George!Copy !req
704. Mr. Fitzgerald!Copy !req
705. We want to make sure
he doesn't get loose.Copy !req
706. I'll kill that dirty rotten bum...Copy !req
707. if I get my hands on him.
What's the matter?Copy !req
708. How come I'm tied up like this?Copy !req
709. Just sit there.
Everything will be all right.Copy !req
710. Yeah. Friends are coming
to take care of you.Copy !req
711. What friends?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
712. Get this stuff off me. Turn me loose.Copy !req
713. Take it easy. You've been sick.Copy !req
714. Who's been sick?
And where's that bum with the glasses?Copy !req
715. Now just sit still,
because the doctor is going...Copy !req
716. What doctor? I don't know no doctor.
What are you guys, crazy or something?Copy !req
717. I'm warning you.
Get this stuff off me, you understand?Copy !req
718. - Get this stuff off me!
- Watch him, Ray, watch him!Copy !req
719. I'm warning you!
I'm going to have to hit you again.Copy !req
720. Ow!Copy !req
721. My arm! You broke my arm!Copy !req
722. You keep this up
and I'm going to get sore.Copy !req
723. Okay. That's the way you want it,
that's the way you're going to get it.Copy !req
724. - I'll kill you!
- Whoo!Copy !req
725. - Help! He's ruining our place!
- Come on, Ray!Copy !req
726. - You better get out of here, mister!
- Leave us alone!Copy !req
727. - Uh-huh. There you are.
- What are we going to do?Copy !req
728. Dr. Zillman! Dr. Zillman!Copy !req
729. Help! Put me down!
Put me down immediately!Copy !req
730. - That's the way you want it?
- Help! Help!Copy !req
731. - Are you all right?
- I'm fine.Copy !req
732. You're getting out of line. I'm not
kidding. I've had all I can take.Copy !req
733. Irwin, we'll have to kill him.Copy !req
734. - Ready?
- Ready.Copy !req
735. - Set?
- Set.Copy !req
736. Charge!Copy !req
737. He's going nuts! He's really nuts!Copy !req
738. - Go away!
- You'd better get out of here!Copy !req
739. I mean it, I don't want to...Copy !req
740. What'll we do?Copy !req
741. Go away!Copy !req
742. Go, baby, go!Copy !req
743. Ah, yeah!Copy !req
744. - ♪ Thirty-one flavorsCopy !req
745. - Don't stop! Go!Copy !req
746. Whoo!Copy !req
747. He's got to be home.Copy !req
748. He never gets up this early.
Why doesn't he answer?Copy !req
749. I hope you won't mind my asking,
but what sort of chap...Copy !req
750. is this brother-in-law of yours?Copy !req
751. He's a nut. Why?Copy !req
752. I hope he's nothing like
my brother-in-law. Peculiar chap.Copy !req
753. Secretary of a golf club
out near Pangbourne.Copy !req
754. So what about him?Copy !req
755. I was thinking that if Reggie,
my brother-in-law...Copy !req
756. If Reggie got hold of information
like this information...Copy !req
757. it's likely that would be
the last time...Copy !req
758. anyone would ever see or hear
of dear old Reggie.Copy !req
759. I doubt very much whether old Reggie
will be waiting for us in Santa Rosita.Copy !req
760. Cheers.Copy !req
761. Tyler! Tyler's probably
still in the shower.Copy !req
762. Tyler! There he is! Tyler!Copy !req
763. - Tyler!
- You promised!Copy !req
764. Hey! I'll wake him up. Tyler!Copy !req
765. - Tyler!
- Huh? Huh?Copy !req
766. - Wake up! Come on now!Copy !req
767. - Get out of here!
- Wait!Copy !req
768. Ah!Copy !req
769. Mr. Fitzgerald!Copy !req
770. You think I'll sit still
while some un-American foreigner...Copy !req
771. makes accusations about
my own flesh and blood?Copy !req
772. We'll see about that. Stop this car!Copy !req
773. - Really, madam.
- Mother, this is awful!Copy !req
774. - So we'll see!
- Mother, what are you doing?Copy !req
775. You don't trust your brother-in-law?
Let me tell you something.Copy !req
776. If my boy is out, then everybody is out.
So we'll see.Copy !req
777. We don't even own the car
and you have no right to do what you do.Copy !req
778. Rights? You talk to me about rights?Copy !req
779. Mother...Copy !req
780. You address me on the subject of rights?Copy !req
781. Trouble? Having any trouble?Copy !req
782. Yes! And we don't need
any help from you.Copy !req
783. Well!Copy !req
784. - Mother, please.
- Ah!Copy !req
785. With all due respect, this is too much.Copy !req
786. Give Mr. Hawthorne the keys
or we'll never get there.Copy !req
787. Too bad.Copy !req
788. Madam, I must say I find your attitude
somewhat less than helpful.Copy !req
789. And what's all this got to do with you,
if you don't mind telling me?Copy !req
790. If we have quite decided
to withdraw from this affair...Copy !req
791. you might be expected to hand me back
my keys so that I could press on.Copy !req
792. You keep out of this!
Are we calling Sylvester or not?Copy !req
793. No!Copy !req
794. We are not. And I'll tell you why.
Because your son, Sylvester...Copy !req
795. is an irresponsible, unreliable,
big loudmouth, no-good bum...Copy !req
796. who, if he isn't a crook,
it's only because...Copy !req
797. he hasn't got the brains or ambition
even to become a crook.Copy !req
798. Good show!Copy !req
799. If you want to come, you can.
If you don't want to, you don't have to.Copy !req
800. But you've got to give us those keys or
you'll force us to take them from you!Copy !req
801. Here, here.Copy !req
802. Give us those keys.
Give us those keys.Copy !req
803. I don't care where you have them.
I'll get them.Copy !req
804. - How dare you.
- Give us those keys.Copy !req
805. - You take one more step towards me...
- I'll take another step.Copy !req
806. I'm warning you.
You're gonna be sorry!Copy !req
807. - Give me the keys.
- You're gonna get it, but good!Copy !req
808. - Ah!
- Oof!Copy !req
809. - Emmeline!
- Emmeline, stay in the car!Copy !req
810. Grab her!Copy !req
811. Russell, don't! Mother!Copy !req
812. - Put me down!
- Must be stuck.Copy !req
813. Russell, you wouldn't.
You couldn't! You shouldn't!Copy !req
814. Let me go! Let me get out of here!Copy !req
815. I got 'em! Here they are.Copy !req
816. We really didn't want to do it.
But that was the only way. Upsy-daisy.Copy !req
817. Don't hit him. Ow!Copy !req
818. Madam, please! Please!Copy !req
819. You forced us. You forced us.Copy !req
820. I'm willing to say I'm sorry,
but you forced us.Copy !req
821. - Do us a favor and get back in the car.
- Get away from me! Don't you touch me!Copy !req
822. - We had to do it. You saw it, honey.
- Russell, let me go.Copy !req
823. Just wait.
You can't manhandle a decent woman.Copy !req
824. You're going to jail!
You'll be arrested for assault.Copy !req
825. I'm going to sue for everything you've
got. Take your hands off my daughter!Copy !req
826. I say, if we are going,
we really must get cracking.Copy !req
827. Russell, how could you?Copy !req
828. - You know we had to...
- Mr. Finch!Copy !req
829. Please don't go. We'll be right
with you. See, she made us do it.Copy !req
830. Let's forget the whole thing
and be reasonable.Copy !req
831. - Please get back in the car.
- Not me!Copy !req
832. We are wasting so much time.
Give me the keys.Copy !req
833. The cars are going faster than we are.Copy !req
834. Can't you make this thing
go a little faster?Copy !req
835. Wide open, I can.
But wide open eats up a lot of gas.Copy !req
836. Then open up wide. I'll pay for the gas.Copy !req
837. - It'll cost you about $50.
- Okay, I'll pay when we land.Copy !req
838. - Now!
- I got to pay now?Copy !req
839. - Now!
- All right, I'll pay you now.Copy !req
840. - Melville...
- What?Copy !req
841. A bug! Get him off!Copy !req
842. Get him off! There he is! Get him!Copy !req
843. - You're breaking up the airplane!
- Is it down there?Copy !req
844. - Now you're breaking the floor!Copy !req
845. - Help!
- Melville!Copy !req
846. None of these 10 people
have any record at all.Copy !req
847. And we're ready to book 'em
for withholding information...Copy !req
848. causing accidents,
failing to report accidents...Copy !req
849. reckless driving, theft, at least
three cases of assault and battery...Copy !req
850. - Capt. Culpeper?
- Yeah.Copy !req
851. - That my home?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
852. Uh, Sheriff, excuse me. Another call.Copy !req
853. Take the Sheriff. I'll take it in here.Copy !req
854. Freddy, transfer Mrs. Culpeper
to Culpeper's office.Copy !req
855. - Hello, Ginger?
- Daddy, it's Billie Sue.Copy !req
856. Oh. Let me speak with
your mother, sweetheart.Copy !req
857. Well?Copy !req
858. Ah, dear.Copy !req
859. Tell me something, Ginger.
How does it feel being married...Copy !req
860. to the most brilliant personality
in the law enforcement industry?Copy !req
861. Are you referring to yourself?Copy !req
862. Ginger, I want you to prepare yourself
for a little shock.Copy !req
863. When I tell you what has happened...Copy !req
864. So tell me.
I've got this biscuit dough...Copy !req
865. The Smiler Grogan case is solved.Copy !req
866. The what?Copy !req
867. What the hell is the Smiler Grogan case?Copy !req
868. The tuna factory robbery.Copy !req
869. The case I've been talking about
for the last 15 years.Copy !req
870. All I want you to do
is make all the preparations...Copy !req
871. for a little flight to Hawaii,
Sunday morning.Copy !req
872. - So what's the gag?
- It is no gag.Copy !req
873. Are you serious
about flying to Hawaii?Copy !req
874. Flight 7, Sunday morning.Copy !req
875. - Are we taking Billie Sue?
- No!Copy !req
876. Just the two of us
for about three weeks.Copy !req
877. Now, we're going to celebrate, Ginger.Copy !req
878. My feeling is that after 27 years...Copy !req
879. we've earned it.Copy !req
880. What's the matter?Copy !req
881. - I need help. Can you give me a lift?
- What?Copy !req
882. My wife is sick.
The doc sent me out for some medicine.Copy !req
883. All right. Come on.Copy !req
884. - I just ran out of gas.
- Get in!Copy !req
885. - You?
- You?Copy !req
886. Wait a minute. We're in trouble.Copy !req
887. Everybody's in trouble.
Get out of the way.Copy !req
888. You think we wanted
to leave you back there?Copy !req
889. It was my son-in-law
and that Englishman.Copy !req
890. What Englishman? Get out of the way.Copy !req
891. You leave us here,
and you know what you're going to get?Copy !req
892. Nothing! We'll get it all.Copy !req
893. How will you do that?Copy !req
894. I'll call my son. He lives
about 10 miles from Rosita Beach.Copy !req
895. He'll drive there and get the money
and we're going to have it. That's how!Copy !req
896. I was going to offer you a share
for taking us to a phone.Copy !req
897. But because you're not interested,
we'll wait for another car.Copy !req
898. We're making a terrible mistake.Copy !req
899. We should go back
and get my mother-in-law.Copy !req
900. - Go back?
- Yes.Copy !req
901. You couldn't be serious.Copy !req
902. All she has to do is get to a telephone,
my brother-in-law will get there first.Copy !req
903. They'll get all and we won't get a dime.
You can believe that.Copy !req
904. But look here.Copy !req
905. Even if she does get all the money,
this won't make any difference...Copy !req
906. to our agreement.
She wouldn't break her word.Copy !req
907. I mean to say, I'd still be entitled
to 10 percent as agreed. Surely.Copy !req
908. Surely. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
909. - Operator.
- Santa Rosita 7-1-9-6-5.Copy !req
910. and then that dirty, rotten,
slimy bum that double-crossed me.Copy !req
911. When I get a hold of that smart aleck,
what I'm going to do...Copy !req
912. If you're there, I hope you turn away...Copy !req
913. that's all,
that you just look the other way.Copy !req
914. Did you get him?Copy !req
915. Maybe he went out
for the papers or something.Copy !req
916. We can keep on trying.Copy !req
917. Just supposing we never do get him?
We might be the last ones there.Copy !req
918. Just a minute. Down there?Copy !req
919. You're kidding. It's too steep.Copy !req
920. I drive my jeep down here every day.
Let's go!Copy !req
921. Yeah, let's go. Let's...Copy !req
922. You can turn around here.
I sure appreciate this, mister. Thanks.Copy !req
923. Yeah, swell, yeah.Copy !req
924. Hi, Eddie.Copy !req
925. I got to get out of here.Copy !req
926. Will you ask your father to show me?
There must be some other way out!Copy !req
927. Come on! Hurry up!Copy !req
928. I could show you a way out.
There's another way to the road.Copy !req
929. You know another way to the road?
Good. Come on in. Don't stand there.Copy !req
930. If you show me the way out,
I'll give you $1.Copy !req
931. - Hm... $3.
- $3? Why, you...Copy !req
932. Yeah, all right. I'll give you $3.Copy !req
933. But don't stand there, hop in the car.
Hurry kid, I got to get out of here!Copy !req
934. - They're not here.
- Probably got a lift.Copy !req
935. We only passed six or seven cars
and they weren't in them.Copy !req
936. Somebody must have
taken them the other way.Copy !req
937. I think we better go back
to that place we phoned from.Copy !req
938. What? That's miles
in the wrong direction.Copy !req
939. Besides, we can't be certain
they'll be there.Copy !req
940. I don't know, I must find my wife.
And I don't know what to do.Copy !req
941. Wherever they are...Copy !req
942. surely the most sensible thing
is for the two of us to press on.Copy !req
943. For all we know, your brother-in-law
may be out or away somewhere.Copy !req
944. Even if he were the first there,
he still has to find the money.Copy !req
945. I earnestly recommend
we forget your good ladies...Copy !req
946. and press on
with all possible dispatch.Copy !req
947. All right. We'll press on
with all possible dispatch.Copy !req
948. And I don't really think
that personal rancor...Copy !req
949. is going to help the situation,
if I may say so.Copy !req
950. Okay, come on, honey.
Let's go. We're here.Copy !req
951. We got here first. Let's go.
Come on. I got you.Copy !req
952. Atta boy, baby.Copy !req
953. We made it. We're here first.Copy !req
954. Take care of my car
until we get back, right?Copy !req
955. Come on, let's go.
Will you go? Come on!Copy !req
956. Over there?Copy !req
957. There?Copy !req
958. Down there?Copy !req
959. That'll be $2.90.Copy !req
960. $2.90? Here's $3.00.
Keep the change, but wait for us, okay?Copy !req
961. Oh, sure.Copy !req
962. Wise guy. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
963. - No, we're closed. It's 12:00.
- It's 12:00. They're closed.Copy !req
964. Wait a minute!
All we want is a pick and a shovel!Copy !req
965. Mr. Dinkler's inside.Copy !req
966. Dinkler. That's it.
We'll get Dinkler. Come on.Copy !req
967. Ah!Copy !req
968. Downstairs. Come on.Copy !req
969. They must be here someplace.
Down here, yeah.Copy !req
970. Look for a pick and a shovel, all right?Copy !req
971. Pick and a shovel,
must be someplace around.Copy !req
972. That's all I need.Copy !req
973. That's all I need, boy.
That's all I need, a pick and a shovel.Copy !req
974. I found it!Copy !req
975. Got it!Copy !req
976. - But there...
- I got it! I found it!Copy !req
977. I've no wish to quarrel with you,
but speaking as a representative...Copy !req
978. of Her Majesty's Armed Forces,
I take the most particular exception...Copy !req
979. You want me to tell you something?
As far as I'm concerned...Copy !req
980. the whole British race
is practically finished.Copy !req
981. If we hadn't kept
your whole country afloat...Copy !req
982. by giving you billions
you never even said thank you for...Copy !req
983. the whole phony outfit would be
sunk under the Atlantic years ago.Copy !req
984. - Hey.Copy !req
985. - What are you stopping for?
- Get out of this machine.Copy !req
986. Get out? You're crazy!Copy !req
987. It's my machine.
I'll do as I bloody well please. Out!Copy !req
988. I'm awfully sorry.
I've been very edgy today.Copy !req
989. If I said anything about England,
I apologize.Copy !req
990. I'm glad to hear you say so.Copy !req
991. I must say, if I had the misfortuneCopy !req
992. to be a citizen
of this benighted country...Copy !req
993. I should be most hesitant
in offering any criticism of any other.Copy !req
994. Wait a minute.
Are you knocking this country?Copy !req
995. Are you saying something
against America?Copy !req
996. Against it?Copy !req
997. I'd be astounded to hear
anything said for it.Copy !req
998. The whole bloody place
is the most unspeakable matriarchy...Copy !req
999. in the history of civilization.Copy !req
1000. Look at yourself, the way your wife
and her strumpet of a mother...Copy !req
1001. push you through the hoop.Copy !req
1002. As far as I can see, American men
have been totally emasculated.Copy !req
1003. They're like slaves.Copy !req
1004. They die like flies
from coronary thrombosis...Copy !req
1005. while their women sit under
hair dryers eating chocolates...Copy !req
1006. and arranging for every second
Tuesday to be some sort of Mother's Day.Copy !req
1007. And this positively infantile
preoccupation with bosoms.Copy !req
1008. In all my time
in this wretched country...Copy !req
1009. the one thing that has appalled me
most is this preoccupation with bosoms.Copy !req
1010. They've become the dominant theme
in American culture:Copy !req
1011. In literature, in advertising,
in entertainment, in everything.Copy !req
1012. I'll wager you anything you like...Copy !req
1013. if American women
stopped wearing brassieres...Copy !req
1014. your whole national economy
would collapse overnight.Copy !req
1015. F-7 to Central.
The Crumps are locked...Copy !req
1016. in the hardware store basement.
Shall I let them out? Over.Copy !req
1017. How could they get locked in a basement?Copy !req
1018. - We better let them out.
- That ain't fair.Copy !req
1019. - It ain't fair? What ain't fair?
- They got themselves in there.Copy !req
1020. They ought to be able
to get themselves out.Copy !req
1021. Uh, after all, if you help them,
you're not being fair to the others.Copy !req
1022. But the moment anybody
gets to where they're going...Copy !req
1023. we'll pick them up.Copy !req
1024. What difference does it make
who gets there first?Copy !req
1025. It's a race, ain't it?Copy !req
1026. Why do you want to help that dentist?Copy !req
1027. Me? I've been pulling for that guy Pike
with the furniture van.Copy !req
1028. The rules should be the same
for everybody.Copy !req
1029. Otherwise, it just ain't fair.Copy !req
1030. Central to F-7.Copy !req
1031. No. We'll leave them where they are.
See what happens.Copy !req
1032. Watch all the exits,
but render no assistance. Over.Copy !req
1033. Are you happy?Copy !req
1034. I need a drink.Copy !req
1035. There's some ice and stuff back there.
Make us all some Old Fashioneds.Copy !req
1036. You think you ought to drink
while you're flying?Copy !req
1037. Stop kidding and make us some drinks.Copy !req
1038. Just press the button back there
marked "booze."Copy !req
1039. It's the only way to fly.Copy !req
1040. Estimated speed 175.Copy !req
1041. We'll never be able to keep up with him.Copy !req
1042. Better have some of the other units
intercept. Over.Copy !req
1043. Hello, Ginger?
What's the matter now?Copy !req
1044. It's Billie Sue.
Her new boyfriend Oscar...Copy !req
1045. was supposed to come down
from Pomona just to meet us.Copy !req
1046. So now she told him
we were going away.Copy !req
1047. What? What's the matter?Copy !req
1048. You keep forgetting.
If a girl is 6 feet 5 inches tall...Copy !req
1049. she's bound to have special problems.Copy !req
1050. - But, Ginger...
- They had some argument...Copy !req
1051. Get out!Copy !req
1052. screaming at each other.
Now the whole engagement's off...Copy !req
1053. and she says she's leaving.Copy !req
1054. Leaving what? Leaving home?Copy !req
1055. Let me talk to her.
Get her to the phone.Copy !req
1056. I'll try. Just a minute.
Talk to your father.Copy !req
1057. I won't.
I don't want to talk to him ever.Copy !req
1058. Don't be ridiculous.
Whatever else he is, he is your father.Copy !req
1059. - Ah!Copy !req
1060. Ah!Copy !req
1061. Ooh! Yeah! Ah!Copy !req
1062. Oh!Copy !req
1063. You hear bells, baby?Copy !req
1064. Yes?Copy !req
1065. - Who is that?
- Who's that?Copy !req
1066. I want my son! Hey!Copy !req
1067. Who is that?
I want to speak to Sylvester Marcus.Copy !req
1068. - Sylvester?
- Yeah, baby?Copy !req
1069. - It's your mom.Copy !req
1070. Ah! Good old Mom. Hello!Copy !req
1071. - Sylvester?
- Is that you, Mom?Copy !req
1072. Of course it's me.
I've been trying you all morning.Copy !req
1073. I've been a little busy.Copy !req
1074. I've been working
and I didn't hear the phone.Copy !req
1075. Hold on a minute, will you, Mom?Copy !req
1076. Baby, how about a beer or something?
Man, I feel like...Copy !req
1077. Will you listen?
Something's happened.Copy !req
1078. There was an accident this
morning. A man got killed!Copy !req
1079. Who got killed?Copy !req
1080. - Now, listen!
- You all right?Copy !req
1081. - Pay attention!
- Sis all right?Copy !req
1082. - Will you listen?
- What's wrong?Copy !req
1083. Can you hear me?Copy !req
1084. There's a whole fortune in cash.Copy !req
1085. You can get it before anybody else,
but you've got to hurry!Copy !req
1086. What's the matter? What's going on
there? Are you all right?Copy !req
1087. Of course I'm all right. Sylvester!Copy !req
1088. Are Russell and Emmeline with you?Copy !req
1089. Forget about Russell.
Will you shut up and let me talk?Copy !req
1090. What's going on? Where's Russell?Copy !req
1091. Don't even mention Russell!Copy !req
1092. - When I tell you what Russell did...
- Just tell him about the dough.Copy !req
1093. Keep out of this! Shut up!Copy !req
1094. - Don't talk. Just listen.
- What did Russell do?Copy !req
1095. He assaulted me, if you wanna know!
He grabbed me beside the road.Copy !req
1096. He and this Englishman
I don't even know!Copy !req
1097. Who's with you and where are you?Copy !req
1098. I'm with this truck driver
in Peterson's Garage in Plaster City.Copy !req
1099. Will you shut up a minute
so I can tell you what happened?Copy !req
1100. Listen to me close! Stay there,
'cause I'm coming to get you right now.Copy !req
1101. Shut up and listen!Copy !req
1102. Everything's going to be all right.
Your baby's coming to get you.Copy !req
1103. - Sit there. Relax. Take it easy.
- Sylvester!Copy !req
1104. I'm coming.
Everything's going to be all right.Copy !req
1105. Well?Copy !req
1106. So he's coming here,
and I'm not to worry about a thing.Copy !req
1107. Because everything
is going to be all right.Copy !req
1108. Exactly like your father:
A big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!Copy !req
1109. The burglar alarm.Copy !req
1110. We just throw it on, people hear it,
they come, and we're out.Copy !req
1111. Don't be frightened
if it makes a big bell noise.Copy !req
1112. Okay? All right? Here we go.Copy !req
1113. - I don't hear anything.
- Neither do I. There's no bell.Copy !req
1114. Look at it. It just stands there.Copy !req
1115. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1116. Stand back.Copy !req
1117. Burglar alarm!Copy !req
1118. The stupidest burglar in the world
could come in...Copy !req
1119. and walk away with everything,
and we can't even get out.Copy !req
1120. Sheesh!Copy !req
1121. Come here!Copy !req
1122. Melville? Melville!Copy !req
1123. Even if you do get the bell to ring
and somebody comes...Copy !req
1124. what about the damage?Copy !req
1125. They're the ones who locked us in!Copy !req
1126. This thing has got to work.Copy !req
1127. No!Copy !req
1128. Please, help me! I'm frying!
Ah! Please! Help me!Copy !req
1129. Uh... Don't make them
so sweet this time.Copy !req
1130. You've had two already.
Can't you wait till we're on the ground?Copy !req
1131. What are you talking about?
I'll make the next batch.Copy !req
1132. You take the controls.Copy !req
1133. - I don't know how to fly an airplane.
- There's really nothing to it.Copy !req
1134. - But Benjy can't fly!
- Nonsense. Anybody can fly a plane.Copy !req
1135. I'll check you out.
Put your little hands on the wheel.Copy !req
1136. That's it. Now you have it.
Now the feet on the rudder.Copy !req
1137. There you are, feet on the rudder.Copy !req
1138. Who says this boy can't fly a plane?
There you go.Copy !req
1139. I'm making an Old Fashioned
the old-fashioned way...Copy !req
1140. the way dear old Dad used to.Copy !req
1141. What if something happens?Copy !req
1142. What can happen
to an Old Fashioned, all right?Copy !req
1143. I know you don't know what to do,
so don't do nothing.Copy !req
1144. - I won't do nothing.
- That boy's a natural-born flyer.Copy !req
1145. Wait a minute. Benjy! Benjy!
Ease back on her!Copy !req
1146. - I'm easing.
- Ease back a little!Copy !req
1147. - I'm trying my best.
- All kidding aside...Copy !req
1148. I'm not kidding any longer.
It's making me...Copy !req
1149. nervous!
Hey! We've got an accident back here!Copy !req
1150. - What happened?
- I don't know!Copy !req
1151. Oh!Copy !req
1152. It's good that truck pulled over.
I can't stand this anymore.Copy !req
1153. In the name of reason,
pull yourself together.Copy !req
1154. You were 10 feet over the line.Copy !req
1155. - Uh!Copy !req
1156. Oh! So it's fisticuffs you want, is it?
Right. Stick them up!Copy !req
1157. - No! No!
- Come here, you coward!Copy !req
1158. No! Don't hit me!Copy !req
1159. - Stop, you!
- Don't hit me!Copy !req
1160. - Blood.
- It certainly is.Copy !req
1161. Come back here, you blimey...Copy !req
1162. You want to play dirty, huh? Okay!Copy !req
1163. Foul! Foul!Copy !req
1164. You're not much good...Copy !req
1165. without that horrible
mother-in-law of yours, are you?Copy !req
1166. Ow!Copy !req
1167. Come on. Fight!Copy !req
1168. You thought you had me, didn't you?Copy !req
1169. I'll kill you. I swear!Copy !req
1170. No, stop, please! No, please.Copy !req
1171. - Hello. Hello there.
- Don't shut the motor off!Copy !req
1172. I'm not shutting anything off!
Hello, anybody! Can anybody hear me?Copy !req
1173. - I can hear you!
- I don't care if you hear me!Copy !req
1174. Look, I wanna be...Copy !req
1175. - I don't know whether we're on the air.
- Mayday. Call mayday!Copy !req
1176. Mayday! Mayday, we're up here!
Can you hear us? Help!Copy !req
1177. - Benjy, say something.
- Help! Ah!Copy !req
1178. Hello? Billie Sue?Copy !req
1179. - Billie Sue, where are you?
- I'm at the bus station.Copy !req
1180. I only called because
Mommy said I absolutely...Copy !req
1181. Now, sweetie, what are you doing
in the bus station?Copy !req
1182. I'm waiting for the bus.Copy !req
1183. - Your wife's on the other phone.Copy !req
1184. Ginger?
I've got Billie Sue on the other line.Copy !req
1185. Billie Sue, wait one minute, will you?Copy !req
1186. - Ginger?
- I'm here.Copy !req
1187. Can you hear Billie Sue?
She's crying.Copy !req
1188. Billie Sue!Copy !req
1189. She's in the bus station
and she's crying,Copy !req
1190. but she's waiting for you to tell her.Copy !req
1191. - Billie Sue!
- Are you listening?Copy !req
1192. Billie?Copy !req
1193. - Are you listening to your mother?
- Your mother is speaking.Copy !req
1194. - Listen to your mother, sweetie.
- Billie Sue!Copy !req
1195. Billie Sue! Listen to your mother!Copy !req
1196. Everything that's happened
to my daughter and me today...Copy !req
1197. only happened for one reason:
Because you were too stupid...Copy !req
1198. to look where you were going,
and wrecked our car!Copy !req
1199. - Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1200. You either get out of that truck
or I'm going to throw you out.Copy !req
1201. Don't get upset.Copy !req
1202. You're not going to do anything.
Drive on, you big, stupid idiot.Copy !req
1203. Mommy, don't worry.
Your baby's coming to save you!Copy !req
1204. Oh! Mr. Pike! Mr. Pike, please!Copy !req
1205. - Let me go! Get away from me!
- That isn't nice a bit!Copy !req
1206. - Mother!Copy !req
1207. Help me!Copy !req
1208. That's what I'm here for.
That's why you had me, to save you.Copy !req
1209. Help me! Ah!Copy !req
1210. Emmeline! Ah!Copy !req
1211. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1212. It's practically burned through.Copy !req
1213. Just a couple blows
with the sledgehammer and we're out.Copy !req
1214. Ah!Copy !req
1215. Eh...Copy !req
1216. Hey! Wait a minute!Copy !req
1217. I can't cross here!Copy !req
1218. You said the main road.
This is Niagara Falls.Copy !req
1219. All right, look. You're a little boy.Copy !req
1220. If you want to be a big boy,
which way to the main road?Copy !req
1221. Don't!Copy !req
1222. It's no! The answer is no.Copy !req
1223. He won't back any increase in pensions.
He won't even talk about it.Copy !req
1224. There won't be any increase in pensions.
Do you know why?Copy !req
1225. Because they got a solid majority...Copy !req
1226. of Republicans and Democrats
who've agreed...Copy !req
1227. that if anything
is said about pensions,Copy !req
1228. they'll actually reduce your pension!Copy !req
1229. Why? Because they know
that you personally...Copy !req
1230. were more responsible than anybody
else for closing down the houses.Copy !req
1231. Could I do anything?
Would he listen to me?Copy !req
1232. Ha! All right.
So you're an honest cop...Copy !req
1233. and you've spent a lifetime
being an honest cop...Copy !req
1234. and you've got that,
and that's all you've got!Copy !req
1235. It's no good saying I'm sorry.Copy !req
1236. I'm too angry and sick at my stomach
to be sorry.Copy !req
1237. You're not listening
to what I'm saying.Copy !req
1238. That's the trouble with this family.Copy !req
1239. - Melville, I smell something burning.
- Ah...Copy !req
1240. - Oh!
- Whoa!Copy !req
1241. We're on fire! Come over here.Copy !req
1242. Come on. This way.
Go down. Now. Go.Copy !req
1243. Hurry up!Copy !req
1244. Put it out!Copy !req
1245. I don't know how! Get something!Copy !req
1246. - The extinguishers.
- Get one!Copy !req
1247. - What'll I do?
- Use it!Copy !req
1248. Not on me! On the fire!Copy !req
1249. It's too deep!Copy !req
1250. This is a car, not a canoe!Copy !req
1251. Come on! It's easy!Copy !req
1252. If I don't get out of here...
Why? Why?Copy !req
1253. All right! Here I come!Copy !req
1254. It's too deep!Copy !req
1255. It's too deep, you little rat fink!Copy !req
1256. Why didn't you tell me it was...
What do I...Copy !req
1257. Don't stand there!
Get somebody! Don't...Copy !req
1258. This is no place for a convertible!Copy !req
1259. I'll get you.Copy !req
1260. I'm bleeding, Emmeline!
Look! I'm bleeding!Copy !req
1261. Mama!
What did they do to my Mama?Copy !req
1262. Ow! Ooh!Copy !req
1263. Benjy!Copy !req
1264. It's your father's fault.Copy !req
1265. - The whole thing is your father's fault.
- Mommy.Copy !req
1266. It's your father's fault.Copy !req
1267. What's the matter, Chief?
Something wrong?Copy !req
1268. - You know as well as I do...
- Listen and stop yelling!Copy !req
1269. Stop it, Billie.Copy !req
1270. - Billie, you're not listening.Copy !req
1271. Now stop it. Stop it, Monica!Copy !req
1272. It's only two pieces of small dynamite.Copy !req
1273. And they're 70 feet away
in the other room.Copy !req
1274. This is a strong counter.
We can't possibly get hurt from there.Copy !req
1275. Please, go and stop it.
Stamp on it or something.Copy !req
1276. - You know I hate explosions.
- It's perfectly all right.Copy !req
1277. I just want to blow a small hole
in the wall, then we'll be out of here.Copy !req
1278. Something's happened to the fuse.Copy !req
1279. - What could possibly...
- Hold it. Sh!Copy !req
1280. Listen.Copy !req
1281. The fuse has gone out.
I can't hear it anymore.Copy !req
1282. - Stay down. Don't get up.
- I just want to take a look, okay?Copy !req
1283. Huh! Now I see.Copy !req
1284. It's the fire extinguisher stuff.Copy !req
1285. The fire extinguisher stuff got
on the fuse and put it out.Copy !req
1286. Melville, don't go in there.
You'll be killed.Copy !req
1287. - You'll be blown to bits.
- Monica, for heaven's sake.Copy !req
1288. I just want to take a look!Copy !req
1289. Why do you always imagine
I can't do things for myself?Copy !req
1290. Don't you think I got any sense at all?Copy !req
1291. Why can't you have
a little confidence in me?Copy !req
1292. Sh! Sh! Sh!Copy !req
1293. - I'll never be bad again!
- Whoever said you could fly?Copy !req
1294. What do ya want from me?
How long I been flying?Copy !req
1295. - Keep it going!
- Can't you talk to that radio?Copy !req
1296. Hello, anybody on the ground!
On the ground, anybody!Copy !req
1297. Can you hear us?Copy !req
1298. - Stand back!
- Everybody, stand back.Copy !req
1299. Stand back, folks. Folks, stand back.Copy !req
1300. This is Rancho Conejo Tower.
Do you hear me?Copy !req
1301. - We don't know who they are.
- This is Rancho Conejo Tower.Copy !req
1302. Aircraft calling Rancho Conejo Tower,
this is Rancho Conejo Tower.Copy !req
1303. I got 'em!Copy !req
1304. I got 'em!
Hello, down there on the ground.Copy !req
1305. This is us in the air. We're in trouble!Copy !req
1306. An awful jam. Listen. Hello?Copy !req
1307. I think I lost them.Copy !req
1308. Wait a minute.
You're not using the set the right way.Copy !req
1309. You press your switch in to transmit.
When it's released, you're on receive.Copy !req
1310. Can you understand me?
This is Rancho Conejo Tower.Copy !req
1311. - Where are you and who are you? Over.
- I know how to work it, Benjy!Copy !req
1312. I know how to work it.
Hello, down on the ground.Copy !req
1313. This is us in the air.Copy !req
1314. We're in this fella's plane.Copy !req
1315. He knocked himself out...Copy !req
1316. because he drank a whole case
of bourbon and hit his head.Copy !req
1317. What do we do?Copy !req
1318. The switch, let go of the switch!Copy !req
1319. If you can,
give us your position.Copy !req
1320. Who's flying the plane? Over.Copy !req
1321. Whaddya mean, "Who's flying the plane?"Copy !req
1322. Nobody's flying the plane!Copy !req
1323. Sir? Tower here. Emergency.Copy !req
1324. Tell him it's a full emergency.
We'll try and talk 'em down.Copy !req
1325. Full emergency.
We'll try and talk 'em down.Copy !req
1326. It's a Twin Beech.
I saw one here this morning.Copy !req
1327. Who's got a Twin Beech?
It's that Col. Wilberforce.Copy !req
1328. He was at maintenance.
If he's still there, get him over here.Copy !req
1329. Now listen. Don't talk, just listen.Copy !req
1330. We're getting things under control,
so you can take it easy.Copy !req
1331. We know what kind of a plane you're in.Copy !req
1332. We're making necessary preparations
to talk you down.Copy !req
1333. Rancho Conejo over.Copy !req
1334. Rancho Conejo tower, listen,
we can't land this thing!Copy !req
1335. We're in real trouble. Over!Copy !req
1336. You'll be perfectly all right
as long as you follow instructions.Copy !req
1337. The man at the controls should
also be the man on the radio.Copy !req
1338. - Here. Put 'em on.
- No. I don't want to!Copy !req
1339. Put 'em on!Copy !req
1340. He said the fella flying
should be on this thing.Copy !req
1341. Am I supposed to do everything?
You want me to fly, work the radio?Copy !req
1342. What are you? The hostess?Copy !req
1343. No, he's got to take charge.
What's the matter with him?Copy !req
1344. He's just sitting there, rigid-like.Copy !req
1345. If he catches you at that keyhole,
you'll be rigid-like.Copy !req
1346. - He didn't want to be disturbed.
- He keeps looking at the wall.Copy !req
1347. He'll have to be disturbed
if any of this develops further.Copy !req
1348. I bet you any amount of money that
we could get on the ball and get...Copy !req
1349. Everything's under control, Chief.Copy !req
1350. - You okay, Chief?
- Yes. Why?Copy !req
1351. - How's it going?
- Something's bound to happen soon.Copy !req
1352. Take a look at this.Copy !req
1353. Those two in the basement
started a fire...Copy !req
1354. then set off fireworks.
They still didn't get out.Copy !req
1355. Those two guys in the airplane
had an accident...Copy !req
1356. knocked the pilot unconscious.Copy !req
1357. The control tower
is trying to talk them down.Copy !req
1358. The others...Copy !req
1359. Aerial report that the man,
Otto Meyer, had an accident.Copy !req
1360. He tried to cross a river
and he lost his car.Copy !req
1361. Now he's on foot,
walking back to the main road.Copy !req
1362. This fella Pike, he's here...Copy !req
1363. coming in on 94 with Mrs. Marcus
and her daughter, Mrs. Finch.Copy !req
1364. Mr. Finch and this Algernon,
whatever his name is. The limey.Copy !req
1365. They're about five
or six miles behind...Copy !req
1366. in an Avis Chevrolet they rented
in Canyon City.Copy !req
1367. And this Sylvester Marcus,
the one the old lady called...Copy !req
1368. he's about here going
in the other direction.Copy !req
1369. They all ought to be meeting up
in about five minutes.Copy !req
1370. You know what I believe I'd like?Copy !req
1371. A chocolate fudge sundae
with whipped cream and a cherry on top.Copy !req
1372. Dingy, don't let this worry you.
We're gonna get killed.Copy !req
1373. Men,
this is Col. Wilberforce speaking.Copy !req
1374. These gentlemen here have asked me
to take charge of this situation...Copy !req
1375. so I immediately said
that I'd be glad to take charge of it.Copy !req
1376. Before I say anything else...Copy !req
1377. I don't think he's going to
help us, Dingy.Copy !req
1378. Yes he is, Benjy. He'll help us.Copy !req
1379. Now, just have confidence in him.
He's a colonel. Listen to him.Copy !req
1380. Steady, men.Copy !req
1381. I'm told that neither of you
has had flying experience.Copy !req
1382. Before I say anything else...Copy !req
1383. I want to congratulate you
on having done so well...Copy !req
1384. uh, so far.Copy !req
1385. Now, first of all, men,
I'll explain what we intend to do.Copy !req
1386. You can't land the airplane
until you've made your approach.Copy !req
1387. And you can't make your approach until
you've made a long slow turnaround...Copy !req
1388. down to the south.Copy !req
1389. And we've got to be clear
on a few thingsCopy !req
1390. before you can start
that long slow turn.Copy !req
1391. Now, the stick that you're holding,
that is, I assume that...Copy !req
1392. Men, are you holding that stick?Copy !req
1393. Is somebody holding that stick? Over!Copy !req
1394. What stick? The wheel.
I'm holding it.Copy !req
1395. - We're both holding it.
- Good.Copy !req
1396. For a second there, I was afraid...
Never mind that.Copy !req
1397. Now I'll explain the controls.
It's important that you understand that.Copy !req
1398. Because if you don't,
I'm afraid what might...Copy !req
1399. - You want a lift?
- Yes, thank you very much.Copy !req
1400. It's nice of you to stop.Copy !req
1401. - I'm going as far as Santa Rosita Park.
- That's out of my way.Copy !req
1402. - We're blocking traffic.
- We are?Copy !req
1403. Let's move it. Move it.Copy !req
1404. There we go. All right.Copy !req
1405. You hide behind the counter.
I'll light up a fuse.Copy !req
1406. Melville, will you just do one thing
for me before you use the dynamite?Copy !req
1407. Try hitting the door just once more.Copy !req
1408. Honey, I broke my back on that door.
That's a hard door. I mean...Copy !req
1409. Okay.Copy !req
1410. Where's the sledgehammer?Copy !req
1411. This staircase isn't safe anymore.
The fire burned it all out.Copy !req
1412. Please?Copy !req
1413. All right.Copy !req
1414. You're going to...Copy !req
1415. Melville, for God...Copy !req
1416. Melville!Copy !req
1417. Monica...Copy !req
1418. now let's forget about the door, huh?Copy !req
1419. Look out!Copy !req
1420. - What?
- They've spotted us.Copy !req
1421. - Who have?
- Don't stop. Keep going.Copy !req
1422. - What is this?
- Helicopter. They've seen us.Copy !req
1423. What helicopter?Copy !req
1424. - That's a police helicopter.
- They always use them.Copy !req
1425. - Who?
- Who do you think? Look...Copy !req
1426. I don't want to talk about this,
but they got me hemmed in.Copy !req
1427. - Who?
- Will you shut up and listen?Copy !req
1428. I'm going to break a rule that says
we must never reveal our true identity.Copy !req
1429. This is a matter of life or death,
a desperate situation.Copy !req
1430. - What is?
- Will you shut up and listen?Copy !req
1431. Look, I haven't got much time,
so if you love your country...Copy !req
1432. if you're a patriot, you'll listen,
and listen hard.Copy !req
1433. You gotta get to a phone
and make a call.Copy !req
1434. - I don't got...
- You got to call Intelligence.Copy !req
1435. Central Intelligence Agency
in Washington, D.C.Copy !req
1436. - What on earth...
- Now, listen!Copy !req
1437. You tell 'em you heard from X-27.
You got it? X-27.Copy !req
1438. X-27 told you to tell them they've made
three attempts on my life today.Copy !req
1439. They tried to drown me.Copy !req
1440. Can you handle a gun? Now, look... Oh!Copy !req
1441. There's a cafe. Pull right in there.
You'll use that phone.Copy !req
1442. - I don't think I...
- Shut up! You're in no danger.Copy !req
1443. They've never seen ya. Now, pull in.Copy !req
1444. All right, good. Get to a phone.Copy !req
1445. Tell the operator "emergency priority,"
then ask for the CIA.Copy !req
1446. Jump out. Come on, come on.Copy !req
1447. You're in no danger.
They don't know you.Copy !req
1448. You're all right.
I'll duck the car and come back.Copy !req
1449. For God's sake,
don't stand in the street.Copy !req
1450. They'll see you. They'll spot you!Copy !req
1451. Move it. Yah! Go!Copy !req
1452. And... Sylvester! It's Sylvester!
Turn around, you idiot!Copy !req
1453. What do you want to stop him for?
He's going the wrong way.Copy !req
1454. It's my son. Do as you're told, stupid.Copy !req
1455. They're nuts.Copy !req
1456. Tell them the tow truck turned around
and is following the Dodge.Copy !req
1457. 2-1-7-1, 2-1-5-9.Copy !req
1458. This is stupid.Copy !req
1459. You call me a stupid idiot.Copy !req
1460. Let me tell you something.
You're a stupid idiot.Copy !req
1461. - He'll go all the way to Plaster City.
- So he goes to Plaster City.Copy !req
1462. I don't know about you,
but I'm turning this thing around.Copy !req
1463. Now, you want to catch him,
you get out and run.Copy !req
1464. Let's stop arguing. Please.Copy !req
1465. The reason we're together
is because they only had one car.Copy !req
1466. Let's get there, even if we are last.Copy !req
1467. Whatever the outcome of the day,
I shall never forget that you hit me...Copy !req
1468. when I wasn't even looking.Copy !req
1469. Yeah.Copy !req
1470. Russell!Copy !req
1471. - How can you be so slow?
- I've had just about enough out of you.Copy !req
1472. If ya turned quicker
we coulda caught him!Copy !req
1473. - Why don't you shut up?
- Russell! There!Copy !req
1474. It's Russell and Mr. Hawthorne!Copy !req
1475. Stop them! Catch them!Copy !req
1476. We gonna start that again?Copy !req
1477. Faster! Step on it!
Blow the horn, you big dope!Copy !req
1478. What do you want them for anyway?Copy !req
1479. Keep up with them.
You're falling behind.Copy !req
1480. Sylvester! Mother! Sylvester!Copy !req
1481. Stop him! Don't let him get away!Copy !req
1482. I say, what's that chap
honking his hooter for?Copy !req
1483. It's probably some road hog
who thinks he owns...Copy !req
1484. - What?
- What?Copy !req
1485. I got to ask you something about Mama!
Russell, wait a minute!Copy !req
1486. - It's my brother-in-law.
- What's he doing?Copy !req
1487. Be careful of him. He's not normal.Copy !req
1488. You're getting me...
Boy, are you bugging me, man!Copy !req
1489. I'm going to nail...
I'm getting bugged now!Copy !req
1490. Whoa, man.Copy !req
1491. Russell, if you don't pull over,
I'll kill you!Copy !req
1492. I'm warning you,
pull over and stop.Copy !req
1493. I said stop!Copy !req
1494. You asked for it.Copy !req
1495. Russell,
when I get my hands on you...Copy !req
1496. What are you doing?Copy !req
1497. - I said stop!
- Are you crazy?Copy !req
1498. - We'll get killed!
- Pull over!Copy !req
1499. Don't you know what I mean?
I said stop that car!Copy !req
1500. When I get my hands on you, Russell,
I will kill you!Copy !req
1501. Are you crazy?Copy !req
1502. Ah!Copy !req
1503. I've never seen anything
like this bunch.Copy !req
1504. He ran right into them,
ran them right off the road.Copy !req
1505. - You guys, come on out of there!
- Fellow's absolutely beside himself.Copy !req
1506. - What are you trying to do?
- Let's go!Copy !req
1507. - What did you do to my mother?
- We wouldn't do any...Copy !req
1508. Move! Move!Copy !req
1509. - What did you do to my mother?
- I didn't do anything! Let me explain.Copy !req
1510. Look here.Copy !req
1511. She called me. She phoned me.Copy !req
1512. What she told me was so horrible,
I thought she'd gone nuts!Copy !req
1513. - It was true, wasn't it?
- It's not true.Copy !req
1514. Whoever told you was a liar.
It's not true.Copy !req
1515. - It is true!
- Now, look here!Copy !req
1516. Are you English? Just answer me!Copy !req
1517. Yes. As a matter of fact, I am.
Don't you like the English?Copy !req
1518. There was an Englishman.Copy !req
1519. She said that you and this Englishman...
I'll kill you!Copy !req
1520. What did you do to my Mama?Copy !req
1521. - Emmeline!
- Mama!Copy !req
1522. Why couldn't you listen?
Why couldn't you shut up...Copy !req
1523. when I was trying
to tell you to listen?Copy !req
1524. That chap's run absolutely amok!Copy !req
1525. Few minutes, we'll have 'em in position.Copy !req
1526. In a couple of minutes,
we'll have you in position.Copy !req
1527. - You're doing a great job, Colonel.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1528. Why not just shoot 'em down?Copy !req
1529. None of these people must suspect...Copy !req
1530. that they have ever been
under observation.Copy !req
1531. Now, none of them have ever seen me.Copy !req
1532. None of them know me...Copy !req
1533. so I'll be moving in alone.Copy !req
1534. The minute I move in,
I'll give you the word.Copy !req
1535. And when you pass the word...Copy !req
1536. I don't want to have another
policeman within miles of me.Copy !req
1537. - Right?
- Right.Copy !req
1538. I, uh...Copy !req
1539. I won't like it
if I see another policeman.Copy !req
1540. I give you my word.Copy !req
1541. I wanted to stop for you.
My wife and he wanted to stop for you.Copy !req
1542. Tell him how my mother-in-law
made us drive by him.Copy !req
1543. Anything you have to say
about your mother-in-law...Copy !req
1544. you don't have to explain to me.Copy !req
1545. You know what I mean?Copy !req
1546. If she were a star
of a real crummy horror movie...Copy !req
1547. I'd believe it.Copy !req
1548. Yeah!Copy !req
1549. That's him!Copy !req
1550. If I catch you, I'll kill you!
I tell you, I'll kill you!Copy !req
1551. You dirty robber!Copy !req
1552. Someone you know?Copy !req
1553. I'll drive. All set?Copy !req
1554. All set, Chief.Copy !req
1555. Culpeper, all set?Copy !req
1556. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1557. Airport just reported
and they're starting an approach now.Copy !req
1558. Right.Copy !req
1559. What's the matter, Chief?
You forgotten something?Copy !req
1560. No. I don't think
I've forgotten a thing.Copy !req
1561. Now, men, about the brakes...
You've got to know about the brakes.Copy !req
1562. I'll tell you
in just a minute. Just hold it a second.Copy !req
1563. What the hell is with this wire?Copy !req
1564. Just hold it a second.Copy !req
1565. - What was that?Copy !req
1566. Men, look.Copy !req
1567. Be calm. This is it.
Just one minute more, it'll be all over.Copy !req
1568. I mean, it'll all be over.
I mean, courage, men.Copy !req
1569. We're all with you every second.Copy !req
1570. We're pulling for you
as hard as we can.Copy !req
1571. Now it's just hold onto
your nerves, men,Copy !req
1572. and not get excited
or do anything foolish.Copy !req
1573. But just keep calm.
That's all we'll do.Copy !req
1574. Keep calm. Calm, men!Copy !req
1575. Not that calm, you idiot!Copy !req
1576. Pull up!Copy !req
1577. Now, don't worry. Just keep calm.Copy !req
1578. What's this?
What's this that's coming?Copy !req
1579. - That's good. That's cement.
- What? Wait a minute! Hold it!Copy !req
1580. What are you doing, Benjy?Copy !req
1581. - What, are you trying to scare me?
- No!Copy !req
1582. Well, you did.Copy !req
1583. It's just a couple of sticks
of dynamite, that's all.Copy !req
1584. How much noise could it make?
Boom. It's all over.Copy !req
1585. Get it over right! Get it over!Copy !req
1586. Left rudder!Copy !req
1587. Too low! Pull up.Copy !req
1588. No! Left rudder!Copy !req
1589. No! Pull it up!Copy !req
1590. Help!Copy !req
1591. Help!
I'm the Colonel, you know!Copy !req
1592. Help!Copy !req
1593. Help! Get me down!Copy !req
1594. We're not going to land
and we'll never make it.Copy !req
1595. What do you mean, we'll never make it?
Don't freeze.Copy !req
1596. Benjy, don't freeze.Copy !req
1597. This one's going to work.Copy !req
1598. - Damn it, come to!
- You hit me.Copy !req
1599. Listen, wait a minute.Copy !req
1600. We're down!Copy !req
1601. - We're on the ground.
- Hooray!Copy !req
1602. It's just a noise, that's all.
It's way over there.Copy !req
1603. Put on the brakes.Copy !req
1604. Okay. Where are they?Copy !req
1605. Benjy! Here comes a restaurant!Copy !req
1606. We've landed! Come on.Copy !req
1607. Come on. Hurry. Now, hurry up.Copy !req
1608. - Come on, let's go.
- What about him?Copy !req
1609. Never mind him.
An ambulance will come.Copy !req
1610. - Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1611. Cab!Copy !req
1612. Cab!Copy !req
1613. We're in an awful hurry.
Do you know where the State Park is?Copy !req
1614. Sure. What happened?Copy !req
1615. Emergency landing. Come on, hurry.Copy !req
1616. Quick, let's go. Come on.Copy !req
1617. Come on, Benjy.Copy !req
1618. Oh! Excuse me.Copy !req
1619. Excuse us. Here's your bag.Copy !req
1620. You see, the lock didn't work.Copy !req
1621. Go.Copy !req
1622. That's all.
The owners will pay for everything.Copy !req
1623. Next door, he'll pay for everything.
It's okay.Copy !req
1624. You people. You!Copy !req
1625. Come back here. Come back!Copy !req
1626. You vandals!Copy !req
1627. The cops in this town
are morons, retarded.Copy !req
1628. I'm dealing with moronic people.Copy !req
1629. 'Cause he's in a bad humor,
that fat Nazi.Copy !req
1630. What, I gotta suffer 'cause of him?Copy !req
1631. Get away from me.
What's the matter?Copy !req
1632. Can't you see I'm on the phone?
Gimme two minutes!Copy !req
1633. Now, listen, Sy...Copy !req
1634. Will you take us
to Santa Rosita State Park?Copy !req
1635. What's the matter?
What happened to you? Initiation?Copy !req
1636. We had an accident. Hurry up!Copy !req
1637. Benjamin and Bell stopped
at a gardener supply placeCopy !req
1638. and bought picks and shovels.Copy !req
1639. Hold it, Chief.
Here's a report on the Crumps.Copy !req
1640. Their cab turned onto 101 moving south
toward your present position.Copy !req
1641. Wait. The other taxi's
also turning onto 101...Copy !req
1642. and they're moving north.
They're both coming your way.Copy !req
1643. Understood.Copy !req
1644. Stand by.Copy !req
1645. - They ought to be here any minute.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
1646. Look.Copy !req
1647. It's the two idiots, the little one and
the one with the marbles in his mouth.Copy !req
1648. - It's that hokey dentist.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1649. Pass that cab.Copy !req
1650. - What's the rush?
- Whaddaya mean "rush"?Copy !req
1651. No rush. We're just in a hurry.Copy !req
1652. Culpeper.Copy !req
1653. Now.Copy !req
1654. Give the order to pull away.Copy !req
1655. - Come on. Hurry up.
- Shouldn't I wait around?Copy !req
1656. No. Here's $5.Copy !req
1657. - What's with the pick and shovel?
- Mind your own business. Come on.Copy !req
1658. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
1659. - Think anybody is here?
- Didn't see any cars.Copy !req
1660. Wait a minute!Copy !req
1661. - Let's talk this over.
- I got nothing to talk about.Copy !req
1662. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1663. Think anybody else has been here?Copy !req
1664. - How should I know?
- Wait!Copy !req
1665. If you think we're the first ones here,
why not make a deal?Copy !req
1666. The four of us?Copy !req
1667. Nobody knows where to look,
so we'll look together.Copy !req
1668. We'll find it before the others.
Incidentally, where are all the others?Copy !req
1669. How come you two just got here?
You had the plane.Copy !req
1670. Yeah... What happened to you?Copy !req
1671. They're up to something funny,
you hear?Copy !req
1672. Did you see the blonde I brought,
covered in paint with her dress ripped?Copy !req
1673. What's that all about?Copy !req
1674. Yeah. And what about
the picks and shovels?Copy !req
1675. You run back to headquarters.
Wait till you hear from me.Copy !req
1676. Let me come, Chief.Copy !req
1677. I'd like to,
but it might snarl things up.Copy !req
1678. Thanks for everything.Copy !req
1679. Lots of luck, Chief.Copy !req
1680. Benjy! Did you see anything, pal?Copy !req
1681. No, but there must be
something somewhere.Copy !req
1682. Yeah... Hey! Hey!Copy !req
1683. - See anything?
- Not a thing.Copy !req
1684. Are you sure he didn't say
something you've forgotten?Copy !req
1685. He said it's buried under a big W
and that we'd see it.Copy !req
1686. - It's gotta be here.
- I tell you what we do.Copy !req
1687. You go how we came.
We'll go how you came.Copy !req
1688. We might have missed something.
Hold it.Copy !req
1689. You go the way we came...Copy !req
1690. That's right. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
1691. They're looking for something
buried under a big W.Copy !req
1692. I heard one of them,
the stutterer, say it.Copy !req
1693. Yeah, I heard. But what?Copy !req
1694. Hey!Copy !req
1695. Did you see anything?Copy !req
1696. - No. Did you?
- Nothing.Copy !req
1697. That guy hid it so good,
he couldn't find it himself.Copy !req
1698. I think...Copy !req
1699. Who's he?Copy !req
1700. - I don't know.
- But he had a shovel.Copy !req
1701. Maybe he's a prospector.Copy !req
1702. - What are you talking...
- We're wasting time.Copy !req
1703. Harder. We gotta look harder!Copy !req
1704. Let's look harder. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
1705. Who's he?Copy !req
1706. I don't know,
but he hasn't got a shovel.Copy !req
1707. - He's here, I tell ya.
- Yes, sir. That's his car.Copy !req
1708. - I'll get that phony.
- Somebody must've come in those cabs.Copy !req
1709. - Come on, let's get moving!
- Come on, let's get moving!Copy !req
1710. - They must be here.
- They'd better be. Come on, Emmeline.Copy !req
1711. - Don't just sit there!
- Don't just sit there!Copy !req
1712. Yes, I am.Copy !req
1713. Then sit!Copy !req
1714. Mrs. Finch,
aren't you the teeniest bit curious?Copy !req
1715. No. I'm not even curious,
just disgusted.Copy !req
1716. I say, that really is a pity.
Do forgive me, I must go.Copy !req
1717. Psst!Copy !req
1718. You wouldn't know a big W
if you saw one!Copy !req
1719. - I know a...
- Shut up!Copy !req
1720. I don't care what you say,
I don't think they're here yet.Copy !req
1721. They're here somewhere.
That means they haven't found it.Copy !req
1722. That's all he said? "Under a big W"?Copy !req
1723. Actually, I joined the party after that.Copy !req
1724. Yes, sir, that's what he said.
It's under a big W.Copy !req
1725. - Let's look...
- Will you shut up and follow me?Copy !req
1726. - Who's that?
- I don't know!Copy !req
1727. - From this morning?
- Yes.Copy !req
1728. - Who's he?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1729. - Who's he?
- I don't know!Copy !req
1730. Mama, how many people
are mixed up in this?Copy !req
1731. Mama, who are they? Cabbies?Copy !req
1732. Mama, this thing's like a convention.Copy !req
1733. Is anything wrong, ma'am?
I didn't mean to startle you.Copy !req
1734. Who are you? Are you with the others,
the ones that are looking?Copy !req
1735. - I am, in a way. Aren't you?
- No.Copy !req
1736. I mean, I didn't want anything
to do with it right from the start.Copy !req
1737. And you know what?Copy !req
1738. I know where it is. I'm the only one,
and I wasn't even looking.Copy !req
1739. You know where it is?Copy !req
1740. Yes! What should I do?Copy !req
1741. Ugh!Copy !req
1742. Come on out, everyone!
This is ridiculous.Copy !req
1743. - I absolutely agree.
- Come on out.Copy !req
1744. We all know we're all here.
Nobody's fooling anyone.Copy !req
1745. So we all know. So what?Copy !req
1746. Don't talk to my mama
in that tone of voice!Copy !req
1747. - You hear?
- Shut up!Copy !req
1748. Listen, we ain't the only ones here.
I seen four or five others.Copy !req
1749. Those two cab drivers.Copy !req
1750. - They came with us and that dentist.
- You want to start?Copy !req
1751. - Yes, I want to...
- Why are we wasting time?Copy !req
1752. We're all here.Copy !req
1753. Even if somebody finds the money,
nobody gets away with it...Copy !req
1754. unless everybody gets a share.Copy !req
1755. Let's all get sensible
and get this organized.Copy !req
1756. Did you all hear what Mama said?Copy !req
1757. - Come on, Mama.
- Now, wait a minute.Copy !req
1758. Did any of you see a guy with glasses...Copy !req
1759. with a sneery expression on his face?Copy !req
1760. This guy was ugly.
I mean, like, real ugly.Copy !req
1761. If you help dig it up,
you can have half and I'll have half.Copy !req
1762. Is that okay? I mean, is that fair?Copy !req
1763. If I have half of the money...Copy !req
1764. I can go away somewhere
where nobody can find me.Copy !req
1765. Not Russell or my mother
or Sylvester, anybody.Copy !req
1766. You don't know what that'd mean.Copy !req
1767. If I had enough money...Copy !req
1768. I might be able to live
in a convent or something.Copy !req
1769. - In a convent?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
1770. We all know we're all here.Copy !req
1771. It seems intelligent to me
that we should all share...Copy !req
1772. in one equal share apiece, right?Copy !req
1773. Right. Mel was right.Copy !req
1774. - We all know that. Lookit...Copy !req
1775. - Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hm.Copy !req
1776. It's him, all right. Yeah!Copy !req
1777. You got this wrong.
I came to apologize.Copy !req
1778. Forgive and forget! I'm your friend.Copy !req
1779. He's so neurotic.
Can't you do something?Copy !req
1780. I'll get you.Copy !req
1781. - He's very neurotic. I'm your friend!
- When I get my hands on you...Copy !req
1782. Why, that's it.Copy !req
1783. Sure. Look!Copy !req
1784. It's the big W, I tell you!Copy !req
1785. It's the big W!Copy !req
1786. Look at this.Copy !req
1787. - Look at it!Copy !req
1788. I'm sorry, Mrs. Finch.Copy !req
1789. I'm afraid it's too late.Copy !req
1790. I think they've found it.Copy !req
1791. Right here all the time!
He wasn't kidding!Copy !req
1792. - He was telling the truth!
- Folks, isn't this great?Copy !req
1793. Congratulations. Well done.Copy !req
1794. Listen, I think the big boy
should get an extra share.Copy !req
1795. After all, it was he who found it.Copy !req
1796. Yes! I insist he gets an extra share.Copy !req
1797. That's right.
He deserves an extra share.Copy !req
1798. - Well, I...
- Let's start digging.Copy !req
1799. Suppose somebody comes along.
What do we tell him?Copy !req
1800. We're here with
an anthropological expedition.Copy !req
1801. - Nah.
- We don't tell them anything!Copy !req
1802. We tell them to scram
or we beat their brains in.Copy !req
1803. It was a nice dream.Copy !req
1804. Lasted almost five minutes.Copy !req
1805. Now, don't bug me, I said.Copy !req
1806. Faster.Copy !req
1807. Come on, dig, dig.Copy !req
1808. Faster, faster.Copy !req
1809. Faster. Dig. That's it, dig.Copy !req
1810. Faster.Copy !req
1811. There's not enough room.
You two, out.Copy !req
1812. Let us do it.Copy !req
1813. Wait. There's not enough room.
You're bugging me.Copy !req
1814. - "Bugging"?
- Cut out, cut out.Copy !req
1815. What's this "cut out" talk?Copy !req
1816. - Out, baby. Out!
- Don't call me baby.Copy !req
1817. - Quit arguing!
- Will ya come on?Copy !req
1818. - What's that?
- What was that?Copy !req
1819. - That's it.
- Sounded like a chest.Copy !req
1820. I wonder what's in it.Copy !req
1821. Bring it up here!Copy !req
1822. There it is!Copy !req
1823. - It's a satchel.
- Hold it up!Copy !req
1824. - It's a satchel!
- I got it.Copy !req
1825. Open it up.Copy !req
1826. Come on!Copy !req
1827. Bingo!Copy !req
1828. I say, chaps,
shouldn't we find a spot of cover?Copy !req
1829. There's nobody around.Copy !req
1830. Come on. Count it out.Copy !req
1831. - What are we waiting for?
- Now wait a second!Copy !req
1832. Everybody's going to get something, so
no arguments. We all get equal shares!Copy !req
1833. He's right.Copy !req
1834. That's the only way to do it.
Shares for everybody.Copy !req
1835. Now, how many are we?Copy !req
1836. One, two...Copy !req
1837. three, four, five,
six, seven, eight...Copy !req
1838. 9, 10, 11, 12, 13...Copy !req
1839. 14, 15.Copy !req
1840. 15 of us. That means 15 equal shares.Copy !req
1841. You dirty double-crosser.
You cut yourself in for twice!Copy !req
1842. You can't get away with that!Copy !req
1843. Get him!Copy !req
1844. Grab him!Copy !req
1845. Get him!Copy !req
1846. You only cheated yourself
because now you're out.Copy !req
1847. Listen!
You can't cut me out now, you hear?Copy !req
1848. Not after what I've been through!Copy !req
1849. All right. Okay.Copy !req
1850. I'm warning you, if I don't get a share,
I'm going straight to the police.Copy !req
1851. - The police?
- What makes you think the police...Copy !req
1852. That money had to come from somewhere.Copy !req
1853. We know where it's from,
that poor man that died on the mountain.Copy !req
1854. You wasn't even there, so shut up.Copy !req
1855. Okay, you asked for it.
I'm going straight to the police.Copy !req
1856. You think they'd be interested,
Mr. Meyer?Copy !req
1857. Are you kidding? Isn't it obvious?Copy !req
1858. How do you think money gets...Copy !req
1859. How did you know my name?Copy !req
1860. You know this crook?Copy !req
1861. I've never met him, Mr. Pike,
but I've come to feel that I know him.Copy !req
1862. How did you know my name?
I've never met you.Copy !req
1863. Yeah, who are you?Copy !req
1864. Didn't he come with you?Copy !req
1865. He didn't come with us.
We thought he came with you.Copy !req
1866. No.Copy !req
1867. If he didn't come with us,
then who are you?Copy !req
1868. I'm Capt. Culpeper...Copy !req
1869. of the Santa Rosita
Police Department.Copy !req
1870. - Will you come to the point?
- Yeah, I'm coming to it.Copy !req
1871. Point is, I have enough stuff
in my private files...Copy !req
1872. stuff relating to civic building...Copy !req
1873. road contracts,
harbor and cannery projects...Copy !req
1874. enough stuff to put you,
the D.A., myself...Copy !req
1875. and a two-thirds majority behind bars
for the next 20 years.Copy !req
1876. And I give you my word, that's
exactly where everybody's going...Copy !req
1877. unless things start happening now.
- Like what, for instance?Copy !req
1878. I want the pension
for Culpeper's grade trebled.Copy !req
1879. Not doubled, trebled.
I want Culpeper to retire with honor.Copy !req
1880. I want it on paper that
that's exactly what's going to happen.Copy !req
1881. And I want it in my hands
in 15 minutes...Copy !req
1882. or I'll have all the reporters
in town in here in 20.Copy !req
1883. You know the word for this, Your Honor.
It's called blackmail.Copy !req
1884. Sir, could you possibly see
your way clear to give us a break?Copy !req
1885. You kidding? Him give you a break?Copy !req
1886. We had a pretty rough day already.Copy !req
1887. We was all covered with dirt,
and we fell down in an airplane...Copy !req
1888. and my grandmother's dying in Oxnard.Copy !req
1889. I know we don't deserve
any kindness, Captain.Copy !req
1890. But if you could help us,
I'm sure we'd all be inspired...Copy !req
1891. to live better lives.Copy !req
1892. Well, there is one thing.Copy !req
1893. I don't know
whether it would help or not.Copy !req
1894. But if, instead of my turning you in...Copy !req
1895. you went and turned yourselves in...Copy !req
1896. juries sometimes look very favorably
on things like that.Copy !req
1897. You'd let us do that?Copy !req
1898. What are we waiting for?
Let's turn ourselves in.Copy !req
1899. You must be a fine human being.Copy !req
1900. After all, why should you worry
whether we get a break?Copy !req
1901. Well, Mr. Meyer,
no matter what you've all done today...Copy !req
1902. you're not really criminals.Copy !req
1903. So if you like,
you can all hop into those two cabs...Copy !req
1904. and drive over to Santa Rosita...Copy !req
1905. and, uh, just walk in.Copy !req
1906. - Then let's do that.
- But, sir, we can't all fit.Copy !req
1907. You can't take the stolen vehicles.
Those have to stay to be picked up.Copy !req
1908. - What are we waiting for?
- Let's go.Copy !req
1909. Back in the back.Copy !req
1910. Drive carefully.Copy !req
1911. They may be the last passengers
you'll ever carry.Copy !req
1912. Funny. That's funny.Copy !req
1913. Funny, right? Funny?Copy !req
1914. You could be the most
comical cop I ever met.Copy !req
1915. Yeah.Copy !req
1916. - Culpeper.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
1917. Everything is under control here.Copy !req
1918. It'll take a little longer
because there was a joker in the deck...Copy !req
1919. that nobody knew about. All right?Copy !req
1920. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1921. So don't make a move of any kind
until you hear from me.Copy !req
1922. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1923. Listen, why does the man
want to give everybody a break?Copy !req
1924. - What's his angle there?
- I was wondering about that, too.Copy !req
1925. Something funny's going on.
How's he know what we're going to do?Copy !req
1926. We're in enough of a mess.
We better do what he said.Copy !req
1927. I'm tellin' you,
the man has got some angle.Copy !req
1928. Wait, wait. Hold it!Copy !req
1929. Can you see him?Copy !req
1930. - Just what does he think he's doing?
- That certainly is strange.Copy !req
1931. - Sure is.
- What is he doing?Copy !req
1932. - He's going the other way.
- Why are we standing here?Copy !req
1933. - That's it!Copy !req
1934. We're off the hook!Copy !req
1935. Get out of here! Come on, we're off!Copy !req
1936. Come on, get going.Copy !req
1937. - Ah!
- Holy mackerel. Almost didn't make it.Copy !req
1938. No other cops around. He planned it.Copy !req
1939. We found the money and he was waiting
to take it away from us.Copy !req
1940. But if we all find the money first
and turn it in, we're all in the clear.Copy !req
1941. Let's just get the dough
and worry about the rest later.Copy !req
1942. - Look. He's slowing down.
- No, he's turning to the left.Copy !req
1943. - What's going on?Copy !req
1944. Sorry, Jimmy.Copy !req
1945. He's heading for the border!Copy !req
1946. We should stop
and call the police station!Copy !req
1947. You shut up!Copy !req
1948. We're going to get that money.
Keep driving!Copy !req
1949. That woman is something else.Copy !req
1950. Take your foot off the brake!Copy !req
1951. Stop hitting me. I'm driving.Copy !req
1952. - When you want a cab, you can't get one.
- Yeah, come on, let's go!Copy !req
1953. F-14 to Central.Copy !req
1954. Come in. What is it?Copy !req
1955. There's something phony here.Copy !req
1956. We're on 101 by Cortez
checking a mad-dog report.Copy !req
1957. Orders were to maintain silence.Copy !req
1958. Capt. Culpeper wants
this channel kept clear.Copy !req
1959. We know it,
but we saw Capt. Culpeper.Copy !req
1960. He just went by doing 90 miles an hour.Copy !req
1961. I don't think I understand that.Copy !req
1962. Are you sure it was Capt. Culpeper?Copy !req
1963. - Yep.
- Was he chasing anybody?Copy !req
1964. - Nope.
- Could he have been chasing anybody?Copy !req
1965. Not a chance.
That's what struck us so funny.Copy !req
1966. There were about 15 people
in two cabs behind him.Copy !req
1967. It looked like they were chasing him.Copy !req
1968. They were chasing him?
What's going on here?Copy !req
1969. I brought it myself.
Everything you asked for.Copy !req
1970. - The pension?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1971. Call Capt. Culpeper.Copy !req
1972. Calling Capt. Culpeper.
Central Division. Urgent.Copy !req
1973. Calling Capt. Culpeper.Copy !req
1974. - This can only happen in America.
- You going to start that again?Copy !req
1975. You've got to believe me.
I'm going to be sick.Copy !req
1976. What's the matter?
You trying to kill us?Copy !req
1977. Just don't make me nervous!Copy !req
1978. - Don't let him get away!
- Cut him off!Copy !req
1979. Calling Capt. Culpeper.
Culp, this is Aloysius speaking.Copy !req
1980. Now, listen to me, Culp.
Everything has been fixed.Copy !req
1981. There's been negotiations
and everything is all right.Copy !req
1982. Cut out this nonsense and answer me.Copy !req
1983. This is Aloysius speaking.Copy !req
1984. I still don't understand this.
What's it all about?Copy !req
1985. Um... That's it.Copy !req
1986. All units...Copy !req
1987. arrest Capt. Culpeper.Copy !req
1988. There he is!Copy !req
1989. - Come back!
- Get me out of here!Copy !req
1990. Just don't sit there. Come on.Copy !req
1991. Come on!Copy !req
1992. Stop pushing, will ya?Copy !req
1993. Wait. We got him.
Now, you women stay here.Copy !req
1994. What do you mean,
"You women stay here"?Copy !req
1995. You heard him, mother. Stay here!Copy !req
1996. Come on! Let's go!Copy !req
1997. - Is he there?
- Where'd he go?Copy !req
1998. Halt! Halt!Copy !req
1999. Now, wait a minute. Listen.Copy !req
2000. - Yeah!Copy !req
2001. Stop pushing! Get the suitcase.Copy !req
2002. Look! Look up there!Copy !req
2003. in this regard,
and there is no doubt...Copy !req
2004. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
2005. Those ladders are not safe!Copy !req
2006. - Ladders are not safe!Copy !req
2007. Get off!Copy !req
2008. - You got it?
- Get it away.Copy !req
2009. Get moving!Copy !req
2010. Don't push. You got it? That's it.Copy !req
2011. Sylvester, what are you doing up there?
You must be out of your mind!Copy !req
2012. - Wait a minute!
- Get the suitcase!Copy !req
2013. Get that money!Copy !req
2014. Don't you dare touch any of that money.Copy !req
2015. - You! Don't stand there!
- To your right!Copy !req
2016. Russell, hang on!Copy !req
2017. Dingy, I can't hold on!Copy !req
2018. Help us!Copy !req
2019. Get off my hand!Copy !req
2020. Move onto the ladder!Copy !req
2021. Hold on! Wait a minute!
One at a time! Did you hear me?Copy !req
2022. One at a time!Copy !req
2023. All right!Copy !req
2024. All right, you'll see. You'll see.Copy !req
2025. Get on alphabetical. I'm Benjy.Copy !req
2026. Quit stepping on my head!Copy !req
2027. Get on the ladder.Copy !req
2028. Don't leave me! Come back here!Copy !req
2029. You can't leave me!Copy !req
2030. There's too many men
on it to control it.Copy !req
2031. Hold it steady. Watch it.
She's whipping loose.Copy !req
2032. Ah!Copy !req
2033. Whoo!Copy !req
2034. Wind us down! Wind us down!Copy !req
2035. I don't want the money!Copy !req
2036. Look out!Copy !req
2037. Get off!Copy !req
2038. She's going! Get out of there!Copy !req
2039. Emmeline!Copy !req
2040. Mama!Copy !req
2041. It's all your fault.Copy !req
2042. It's your fault from beginning to end.Copy !req
2043. You know, even for a policeman...Copy !req
2044. your behavior was ruddy outrageous.Copy !req
2045. You could've taken a fair share
like the rest of us...Copy !req
2046. but no, you had to grab up
the whole scene, baby.Copy !req
2047. We had $350,000 right in our hands.Copy !req
2048. Fourteen into $350,000...Copy !req
2049. - Shut up.Copy !req
2050. I wish I knew what
they were gonna do to us.Copy !req
2051. But no matter what happens to us, I hope
what happens to you will be worse.Copy !req
2052. I don't think you have to worry
too much about that.Copy !req
2053. My wife is divorcing me.Copy !req
2054. My mother-in-law
is suing me for damages.Copy !req
2055. My daughter is applying to the courts
to have her name changed.Copy !req
2056. My pension has been revoked.Copy !req
2057. And the only reason
that you 10 idiots...Copy !req
2058. will very likely get off lightly...Copy !req
2059. is because the judge will have
me up there to throw the book at.Copy !req
2060. Aw, that's tough. Oh!Copy !req
2061. I'd like to think that sometime,
maybe 10 or 20 years from now...Copy !req
2062. there'd be something
I could laugh at, anything.Copy !req
2063. Now, see here, you idiots,
it's all your fault because...Copy !req
2064. Oh!Copy !req
2065. - Mama!Copy !req
2066. Get away from me!Copy !req
2067. Let me go!Copy !req
2068. ♪ MadCopy !req