In His Own Words: XXXTENTACION (2022)

Directed by Rob Stone • Lesley Steele

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XXXTentacion as Self • Cleopatra Bernard as Self • Solomon Sobande as Self • IrishCGM as Himself • IrishCGM as Self

A raw, unique perspective into the mind of Jaseh Onfroy, which sees the late cultural mover give insight on topics that many artists don’t explore in a public manner, ranging from how he views himself, to his place in the world and society as a whol...

United States of America • Documentary • Music

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1. Oh I like this.

2. Yo, I hope they got sticks.

3. What's up they got sticks son.

4. Yo, yo son, they got sticks.

5. This nigga is crazy.

6. Oh shit.

7. I forgot how to do that shit.

8. What do I want people know about me?

9. This is what I want people to know.

10. - Just walked in bitch.

11. Right here?

12. Yeah.

13. - They got me nice lighting so I can look pretty.

14. - Yeah and not ashy.

15. Yeah, we wanna let her have a look.

16. - So you guys ready to do the party tomorrow?

17. Yeah, what's up with that?

18. If you're going to listen to an artist consistently

19. and it's your favorite artist,

20. you most definitely should understand who it is,

21. that you're looking into or listening to.

22. But in my situation, they definitely should pay attention

23. to what I am as a person rather than a character.

24. But it is hard to mend these two things together

25. if everything that I portray as an artist is purely art.

26. So it's hard to tell if as a person

27. that anything that is controversial or spoken on about me

28. is remotely even true.

29. There's brain washing that gets involved in music,

30. in the music industry, like recording things backwards,

31. all these different things that people don't know.

32. Frequency channelings and different things like that.

33. So you never know who you're fucking with

34. unless you fully dwell into them as a person.

35. There's definitely a thin line

36. between Jahseh Onfroy and XXX,

37. because Jahseh Onfroy died when he was in jail.

38. Nobody cared about Jahseh Onfroy.

39. Nobody cared about Jahseh Onfroy.

40. until he took on the persona as XXX.

41. Man, these just tight as fuck.

42. Damn.

43. I didn't know she was gonna get 'em this tight.

44. Oh shit.

45. There's no room for my dick.

46. Yo.

47. She brought sweatpants just in case.

48. - Huh?

49. She brought sweatpants just in case.

50. - I'm still finna rock 'em, fuck it.

51. Oh my God.

52. - I'm just not gonna zip them up.

53. Shout outs to my mom,

54. I know she about to be so happy when she see me though.

55. I didn't think I was gonna be down this fucking long.

56. Oh XXL man.

57. - XXL. - XXX.

58. - XXX on XXL.

59. They're doing this voting thing now.

60. - Hmm?

61. They're doing this voting thing

62. on for the 10th spot,

63. everyone's voting for you.

64. For me.

65. Yeah.

66. - Everybody's gonna be surprised

67. when they see I got the fuck out this shit.

68. I'm trying to jump off fresh.

69. - I smoke cancer sticks 'cause I wanna die.

70. I may have this facade that everybody thinks is X per se,

71. but behind this facade there's a whole different person.

72. Jahseh Onfroy was weak,

73. X is the complete opposite.

74. X desires control.

75. Controversy.

76. Wealth.

77. X has desires, Jahseh Onfroy had no desires.

78. I'm about to do something lit.

79. I'm gonna do something nice for my fans.

80. I'm about to get back to work bro.

81. Alright four.

82. All right, love y'all.

83. I love you too.

84. “Rap Caviar”

85. Damn, “Rap Caviar” is right there.

86. They selling it.

87. Somebody was gonna get stopped.

88. I thought you said “Look At Me” was on there.

89. Oh, nevermind, it's right there.

90. My shit got put low though.

91. Before now nobody gave a fuck about whether

92. my emotions were perfectly intact.

93. Nobody gave a about how I felt,

94. now my opinion is respected,

95. and every move I make is recorded and calculated.

96. Nobody gave a about me as an individual.

97. Everybody wants to achieve some sort of

98. happiness, or stability.

99. Everybody requires stability and happiness.

100. What about the ones that have not made it there yet?

101. My music is a mix of emotions, a mix of genres,

102. my music is everything.

103. I don't want you going to a single different artist

104. to find anything relative,

105. I want everybody to come to me.

106. So I make every single genre there ever was and is,

107. and if my fans ask me to do something I try and do it.

108. So if you want heavy metal I'll make it,

109. if you want melancholy indie I'll make it.

110. If you want country I'll make it,

111. if you want jazz I'll make it,

112. if you want instrumentals I'll make 'em.

113. If you want anything I'll make it,

114. because I feel like — I feel like I want to be

115. and I will be the greatest artist there ever was.

116. That is my entire goal to conquer music as an individual.

117. And to not have to rely on anybody else's residuals,

118. or creative vision to make anything.

119. Just to understand the difference between genres

120. and conquer that in itself.

121. There is no ideal theme for what I'm making,

122. because you can go on my SoundCloud

123. and listen to the “Look At Me.”

124. But then you can go all the way down through my SoundCloud

125. and listen to my song such as “Never” or “King”,

126. and see the melancholy sound.

127. And then go all the way back to a conscious rap,

128. like an old school boom bap New York rap,

129. all the way to a new age storytelling

130. like “I Spoke To The Devil In Miami”, different things.

131. There's so many different themes, quote unquote,

132. to go over when you listen to my music.

133. There is no theme.

134. It's emotion.

135. Why are you drawn to so many dark themes?

136. - Because everybody wants to be happy,

137. that's the overall goal.

138. To reach a certain amount of self enlightenment.

139. What about the brains that have not

140. accomplished self enlightenment?

141. Those are the ones that need help.

142. And those who are happy right now

143. they only want to think about money,

144. talk about money, drugs, bitches.

145. What about the 16 year old kid that's unattractive,

146. has a small dick and no money,

147. and lives in a fucking trailer park?

148. What about those kids?

149. Nobody wants to talk to them.

150. Nobody wants to gravitate towards that setting,

151. or those people at all.

152. So this is why I make a depressed state of my mind music,

153. because I want those kids to gravitate towards it.

154. If you are already happy I can't do shit for you,

155. 'cause you already know what you want,

156. you've already figured it out.

157. Self enlightenment is the key to happiness.

158. All I can do is give you my pain

159. and you feed on that to keep you alive.

160. Just like I used to use music to keep me alive,

161. just like I used to use my favorite artist to keep me alive.

162. Out here smokin' Camels dude.

163. Yeah.

164. Hey, we gotta go to Miami.

165. Iight.

166. I'm probably gonna start recording,

167. I'm gonna hit up my guy and get in the studio tonight.

168. - Yo. - Yo.

169. What up?

170. What's your availability with the studio?

171. Could I work there all night type shit?

172. Yeah, as long as we set up the times.

173. Iight, damn, 'cause I wanted to

174. just like, be there for the night,

175. 'cause I wanted to get started on my album.

176. You wanna be in there a few nights when?

177. Let me know when you wanna start.

178. All right, let me know,

179. 'cause if you say yeah I'm gonna go pick up

180. more equipment from up in Miami.

181. Iight.

182. All right, let me know.

183. Iight.

184. You know what the most exciting part about this shit is?

185. What?

186. - They really not expecting this.

187. You see how “17” is a exact opposite,

188. 'cause it's all melancholy and soft and shit.

189. I'm gonna like surprise the out of them,

190. I'm gonna work on the majority of the album

191. and then drop one song.

192. And then go ghost and finish everything,

193. and just knock it out.

194. But I just was just taking like a week or two to myself.

195. Yeah.

196. - But even then shit exhausting.

197. I'm about to just start focusing,

198. but we just gotta get in a stable environment,

199. that's the problem.

200. Damn, I'm about to search up my name.

201. Oh it's lit — my name came up.

202. Yeah, on top bro,

203. you're gonna see how fucking.

204. Oh man, this is gonna lit.

205. My Tumblr came up.

206. Dude, oh my God.

207. Yo, it's lit.

208. Oh man.

209. What are you seeing right now?

210. Just uhh...

211. Everything!

212. Yo, my fucking name comes up my nigga.

213. You have like a little wiki, yeah.

214. Ahhh.

215. - Jahseh D. Onfroy —

216. Jahseh D. Onfroy,

217. better known by his stage name XXXTENTACION

218. is an American hip-hop recording artist

219. from Plantation, Florida.

220. Jesus fucking Christ.

221. Is that your first time

222. seeing your SoundCloud?

223. In quite a while, yes.

224. Holy –

225. That's a lot of fucking followers.

226. Holy shit.

227. Holy shit.

228. Yo.

229. I'm gonna cry.

230. Can we get a picture?

231. - Yeah, I got you.

232. Woo, can you take a picture please?

233. - You sound like you about to have a heart attack.

234. Wait, let me get in the picture.

235. - Fame in itself —

236. It's just...

237. I mean —

238. I really have no — description of it.

239. I mean — I appreciate my blessings,

240. 'cause there's a lot of people that have tried this,

241. and want these things and don't get it.

242. But as far as the fame, as far as being known,

243. that's not the the key thing to it that I ever desired.

244. So it's nice.

245. It's nice, but the whole point was the appreciation,

246. I wanted to be appreciated.

247. I wanted to be relative to people that felt the way I felt.

248. So the whole point is the appreciation,

249. I appreciate the fact that I'm getting more appreciation

250. from my work and my soul in itself.

251. But as far as the fame it doesn't mean a lot to me,

252. I won't say it doesn't mean a thing

253. because I don't wanna sound ungrateful.

254. But as far as the appreciation aspect of — the fame,

255. I live for it.

256. That's why I'm still alive.

257. I would've been dead long ago

258. if I wasn't appreciated by now.

259. - Which car? This one?

260. Yeah.

261. Iight.

262. - Hey, hop in.

263. - Huh?

264. I was about to ride with him.

265. - You wanna ride with him?

266. Huh?

267. I thought you was finna ride with your moms.

268. - My mom here?

269. - Where's my mom?

270. - Hey are you coming to the mall or no?

271. - Iight. Umm...

272. - Iight.

273. - You sure you don't wanna come?

274. 'cause, I mean – I have a lot of people with me

275. and I need an extra car.

276. - All right, bye.

277. Yeah.

278. Jahseh did not understand the amount of pain

279. that his mother had to bear,

280. the amount of things she had to do for him.

281. The fact that she physically

282. did not have enough time to be there,

283. and that it wasn't her fault because she had no support.

284. X — however understands;

285. everything.

286. Thank you.

287. - I wanna get a dog.

288. - I wanna get a dog.

289. - You can't have pets?

290. Can I put it at your house?

291. - Yeah, but like, a puppy.

292. Nah but I dead ass want one though. I really want one.

293. - I want a pit.

294. - I want a baby pit or a baby retriever.

295. - But I'm just saying I wanna buy it,

296. so if I got it and I'm not allowed to keep it at my house

297. can I keep it at your house?

298. - On the lease?

299. - So I could get it?

300. - Iight, I'ma get a dog,

301. when we leave tomorrow I wanna get a dog.

302. I'll do it.

303. - X understands understands what she went through,

304. and how much she had to put herself through,

305. to take care —

306. of –

307. this body per se.

308. She is the only person that I seek happiness from,

309. I'm making my mother my source of happiness.

310. I am forever in her debt,

311. and I do everything that I still do now

312. for my fans and for my mother.

313. You want me to get some ugly shit?

314. - I'ma make that pussy sound like Mac and Cheese.

315. - Oh my God, I was just watching videos of you today,

316. can I please get a picture?

317. I was just...

318. - Is my phone dead?

319. Oh my God.

320. - Oh!

321. Oh my,

322. it's literally, XXXTENTACION.

323. Oh my God!

324. - Bow, bow!

325. - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my.

326. Hi.

327. - Hi.

328. Hi.

329. - How you doing, you all right?

330. - Yes. - What's your name?

331. Tattiana.

332. - Nice to meet you Tattiana.

333. - Oh my God, Ta get a picture,

334. Ta get a picture, oh my God.

335. I look like shit, fuck, oh my.

336. - Oh my gosh, I love your music, I'm such a fan.

337. Appreciate you, all right?

338. What you can expect from an X fan

339. is that they're gonna have my back no matter what.

340. 'Cause it's like having the best friend ever,

341. that's what my fans are, they are my friends.

342. So when I'm going through a horrible fucking day

343. a real fan — is gonna be like, “Yo X, what's wrong?

344. I'm here for you, don't let this push you over the edge,

345. don't let your anger take control,

346. don't let your sadness take control.

347. I'm here for you, don't forget what we're in this for.”

348. A real X fan is gonna remind me,

349. a real X fan is gonna be there for me.

350. A real X fan doesn't want a single fucking thing from me,

351. 'cause I'm already doing enough by making all this music.

352. There's two types of people, or supporters,

353. or fans in music.

354. There are the people that

355. abide by everything that the artist does,

356. and fully worships that person.

357. Because there is not a lot to look forward to in life,

358. and there is not a lot to be inspired by in life.

359. - All right, have a good one.

360. - Gotcha, nice to meet you.

361. - All right, you want me to do it for you?

362. - You want a video?

363. - Gotchu.

364. I always still do and always will reach out to my fans

365. when they're on the edge,

366. or when they're going through something I talk to 'em.

367. And I'd help, give 'em money.

368. Be there for 'em, call 'em, FaceTime 'em,

369. go to their houses,

370. small things.

371. Very small things that other artists don't do

372. and take the time out of their day to do.

373. That was what was significant about me,

374. or what was special about me,

375. and that's why they became so obsessed.

376. - Good to go?

377. All right, have a good one all right?

378. Nice to meet you.

379. - Yes I am.

380. - Shout out RTG.

381. Yo, you know what's so crazy?

382. - Seeing their fucking hands tremble.

383. The old dude?

384. - Yeah, the old dude's hands were fucking,

385. I had to grab his phone.

386. 'cause his fucking hands were trembling bro.

387. I like my hair.

388. I like my little branch.

389. - Yeah.

390. Once this shit get white it's lit.

391. - It's gonna be lit.

392. See, you wanna see something crazy?

393. Tomorrow –

394. this video has been very boring so far,

395. But tomorrow when we get there and we throw that show,

396. or we throw that party you gonna see,

397. you gonna see what I do to kids.

398. I make kids act fucking crazy.

399. Did fighting find me?

400. Let me repeat the question, did fighting find me?

401. No.

402. No, nor did I look for it,

403. it was just something you did in the hood.

404. It was just something you did.

405. You was angry, you had a smoke with a nigga you fought him.

406. Now it's different, now niggas wanna kill each other.

407. I was young and I was an idiot.

408. Fighting is useless at this point,

409. because they gotta respect your mind or they gotta kill you.

410. And if they gotta kill you that says a lot about their mind,

411. if they gotta put their hands on you

412. that means that their mind

413. and their words weren't powerful enough.

414. Words in themselves can do a lot of things,

415. someone can say something so hurtful or so smart to you

416. you go into shock.

417. If you got fear it's hard to be angry.

418. If you got someone you that you're scared of in your life

419. it's real hard to be angry.

420. But I had nobody I was scared of once I was around, what?

421. 12.

422. Dad got locked up when I was like 10.

423. So after I was 10 years old – fear left,

424. who was I to fear, my mom?

425. Was I to fear some stranger?

426. Fear left so anger replaced it.

427. That was a problem, I feared nobody.

428. So my anger took control,

429. and whenever anybody would do anything to me

430. I would act out on it.

431. Fear left, anger took control.

432. Now people bring knives to school,

433. I keep a fucking knife on my hip.

434. I keep a knife on my hip 'cause I don't wanna fight no more.

435. People don't wanna fight no more,

436. even that's not a conversation no more.

437. 'Cause if I say anything to a nigga

438. and they got a pistol on 'em and they fear me,

439. they gonna put a bullet in my brain right then and there.

440. Fighting, no.

441. I'm not looking for a fight anymore,

442. nor was I.

443. I just did it because I had to sometimes.

444. As angry as I fucking get

445. because sometimes I just can't control my mind

446. or this –

447. this quote unquote demon...

448. Of anger.

449. Do you have any relationship

450. with your father?

451. We talked about your mom.

452. - What's that?

453. What's a father?

454. What makes a good person?

455. Someone with ideals, someone with motives,

456. someone that cares about others.

457. Someone that can think broad rather than narrow minded.

458. Someone that's not afraid to take risks.

459. Someone that's not afraid to feel pain.

460. Someone that's not afraid to go through

461. physical or mental torture.

462. Someone that's willing to sacrifice.

463. And with a lot of things that I'll be teaching

464. the human race in itself –

465. will be a lot of sacrifice in my life.

466. And as I grow bigger you will all see it.

467. Do you think you suffer from mental illness

468. or do you suffer from depression?

469. - Do I think I suffer from mental illness?

470. I think I'm different.

471. And that's the last thing I'll say on video,

472. you can keep that in there though.

473. What do I want people to know about me?

474. Can I twist that question?

475. Sure.

476. - This is what I want people to know.

477. The whole point of the human race

478. and the human mind in itself is evolution.

479. Whether it's evolution spiritually,

480. physically, period.

481. Evolution.

482. The purpose from from birth is creation,

483. that's all humans do.

484. Everything around you was created,

485. you were created.

486. That table over there, created,

487. this chair, created.

488. This mic, created.

489. That camera, created.

490. That hat, created.

491. The whole point of the human race in itself is creation.

492. Before now when there was at least ideally

493. the belief of two human beings on Earth.

494. Everything after that was a creation – in itself.

495. The whole point is evolution and creation,

496. if you're not evolving you're doing something wrong.

497. So anything that takes away the power of your mind...

498. Is keeping you still and delaying your evolution,

499. the whole point of life is evolution.

500. Study your laws of the universe, the law of attraction,

501. the law of abundance, the law of equivalent exchange.

502. Study your laws, the laws of cause and effect,

503. the Karmic cycle, study your laws.

504. Dwell into your mind, meditate.

505. Understand that you can alter your realms

506. by your train of thought.

507. The minute you slow down your thought,

508. you're able to leave your body through astral projection.

509. You're only enslaved if you can't control your mind.

510. So while you can,

511. and while you don't have the whole world against you,

512. or you don't have a lot of worries,

513. worry on freeing your mind from this realm.

514. When you can free your mind from this realm

515. everything is but a thought.

516. And if you can't free your mind

517. then you're a slave to this realm.

518. The whole goal is you live and then you die,

519. you can die plenty of times while you're alive.

520. The ideal physical death is completion,

521. you served your purpose and then you went.

522. There really is no rush for the wicked at all.

523. I can't astral project,

524. so I'm gonna teach everybody else to do it,

525. to free their minds and their souls.

526. Or I'm gonna at least, if this is what you wanna dwell in,

527. which I don't wanna dwell in.

528. I'm gonna teach you how to at least be happy

529. or create while you're here.

530. But for those of you that seek out power...

531. follow me.

532. That's what I want them to know.

533. Everybody gotta realize,

534. look at how much I'm doing at this age.

535. So I mean, some of the I said, on my No Jumper interview,

536. and I don't mean to contradict myself at all right now,

537. at all.

538. I don't mean to contradict myself whatsoever,

539. but —

540. some of the things that I said

541. were very negligent and stupid.

542. Yes, yes, very much so.

543. Like talking about beating that kid in jail,

544. and even the significance of me calling him a homosexual

545. or anything like that, that was stupid.

546. A lot of the things I said were stupid.

547. But the general concept of what I'm trying to do

548. or what I am continues to evolve.

549. So you can look at all my interviews

550. and see that I'm evolving.

551. Everybody needs to realize that at the time

552. I was still a kid.

553. Let's take over the fucking world.

554. Do not tell anybody I'm out, okay?

555. I don't know how all you motherfuckers know.

556. Bro, it's lit.

557. It's over.

558. When they open fire bro, we're gonna get shot.

559. Shut it off and get out of here, right?

560. Fucked up, fucked up.

561. I think that's cliche.

562. I think whoever came up with that should kill themselves,

563. that's cliche.

564. What's cliche?

565. - Just that my fans ideally are outcast, outcasts.

566. Or —

567. Or lame, or nerds.

568. I think that's cliche, and whoever came up with that

569. was probably a jock in high school.

570. )

571. X, X, X.

572. Get the fuck off the car.

573. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

574. Oh shit.

575. Roberto!

576. Low key I found Louie.

577. You next to this nigga?

578. Fuck Drake!

579. - All my fans become very, very, very, very, very,

580. very obsessed,

581. and are all over the internet talking about me everywhere.

582. Under everybody's pictures, like —

583. “Yo, go listen to X, go listen to X, go listen to X.

584. Talk about X, let's talk about X.

585. Yo, get X on this, get X on that, get X on this.”

586. And I'm talking about if you got 5,000,000 fucking kids

587. really going hard under your shit,

588. you're getting notifications every millisecond.

589. You think you're gonna be able to ignore that?

590. Self explanatory.

591. Where I'm from in Broward county

592. they get paid for prosecution.

593. So therefore every arrest the longer you stand there

594. they get a certain amount of money.

595. And then some of the people they violate your due process,

596. therefore there's a procedure

597. that they're supposed to go through within 33 days

598. if your case is not filed it's supposed to be dropped

599. and you're supposed to be let out.

600. I've seen at least five to to 10 people

601. in my unit when I was in jail

602. that had been in there for over 38 days,

603. that had been in there for over 38 days,

604. and their cases were not dropped

605. because they didn't know what motions to file.

606. There's some people that I've seen

607. that I know will never get out.

608. Because they didn't create before they went in.

609. They didn't find stability before they went in.

610. If you're not stable

611. and you don't create anything for yourself,

612. and you don't have someone that's gonna have your back

613. and you go to jail you're fucked.

614. And they'll be like, “Oh, I fuck with you.”

615. This and that, you get what I'm saying?

616. And when you get outta jail it's a whole different deal.

617. Real talk.

618. But I like to build like —

619. genuine relationships with people,

620. and actually act out on what I say I'm gonna do.

621. You know what I'm saying?

622. That's real man.

623. - I'm going to surprised a lot of niggas,

624. when I say I'm gonna keep money on my phone,

625. I'm gonna keep money on my phone for them boys.

626. Jail doesn't change you, you change you.

627. There's no such thing as jail changing you,

628. it just gives you the time to think

629. because they're forcing you to be there.

630. But within that time

631. you could of changed yourself on the outside,

632. if you would've locked yourself in a fucking room.

633. Your parents could've locked you in a room,

634. or somebody that cared about you

635. could've locked you in a room.

636. Jail is human trafficking, point blank period.

637. If I didn't have this time alone to become strong,

638. I would've been like every other human being in the world

639. with a weak mind, conformed,

640. and using their parents as a crutch.

641. All that does is add a limitation.

642. You're no longer free minded,

643. you have someone you fear and then someone you follow.

644. And someone you abide by their ideals and their perspective.

645. The whole point is having a free mind,

646. a free mind can do a lot of things.

647. If didn't have the time alone by myself

648. that I needed to breed this...

649. There would be no XXX.

650. When you go to prison and someone wants to kill you,

651. but they don't wanna tell you...

652. Sign language.

653. So someone could be planning to do a hit on you

654. and you wouldn't even know.

655. They do this thing, and I forgot what it's called,

656. I think it's called a fish hook or some shit.

657. It's called some crazy shit.

658. Buck mouth!

659. I think it's called a buck mouth or some shit.

660. Where they grab your fucking mouth,

661. and they cut that bitch open,

662. they put a knife on the side of that bitch

663. and cut that bitch open.

664. And they use sign language to do that type of all the time.

665. I'm fucking awesome.

666. My fans and myself are fucking awesome.

667. And my dick growed a few inches

668. while I was in jail.

669. Why would I?

670. - How does it feel to be hated by so many people?

671. It gets my dick hard, I love it.

672. If you ain't got haters, you ain't popping nigga,

673. point blank period.

674. And I love the fact that

675. they don't know a single fucking thing about me.

676. And they invest their pointless little lives into —

677. I'm 19 years old.

678. They invest their pointless little lives

679. into talking shit on the internet

680. and saying how much they hate me.

681. So that way it causes more controversy,

682. and it gives more power to my fans,

683. and it makes my fans feel even more happy

684. at the end of the day.

685. It makes me very, very happy.

686. I love it.

687. Hey Jah!

688. - Okay, go ahead, go ahead.

689. Play some music.

690. We love you man!

691. Jah!

692. Fuck Drake! Fuck Drake!

693. - Everybody has to realize I'm still young,

694. I still got space to fuck up.

695. So, as far as permanently judging me...

696. Bro, a fucking year from now

697. all of these people will be worshiping me.

698. If I don't die.

699. Let's hope I don't die.

700. But from a year from now, you mark my words,

701. mark my words, the same people you see

702. saying anything about me now – negative

703. I will have at least five to 10,000,000

704. decent cult based followers.

705. And the majority of anybody

706. that says anything negative about me,

707. you won't even hear it.

708. I'll retire.

709. I wanna retire in a year.

710. X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X,

711. - Somebody that cares about you takes initiative always,

712. you don't have to tell them anything.

713. They know what you like, they know what you want,

714. they know what you expect, they're gonna take initiative.

715. Man or female.

716. Point blank period, if someone cares about you

717. they're gonna go out their way for you.

718. I threw myself in front of a car a while ago

719. because of my ex-girlfriend.

720. So around the time when she left the pain started to kick in,

721. I walked into the road and I threw myself in front of a car.

722. Luckily, I hit the side of the car, I left a big dent,

723. I still have a ticket in court cause of it,

724. you could look it up.

725. Traffic infraction.

726. Hit the side of the car and I went to the hospital,

727. my leg was fucked up.

728. This is when was when this body per se was still Jahseh.

729. I took the IV outta my arm.

730. I called my ride,

731. I went home.

732. I went to my manager's house,

733. and I tried to put a fork in a fucking wall slot.

734. And was too pussy to do it.

735. That was the last time I tried to kill myself.

736. And that's the power of love,

737. love is poison, love is pain.

738. And if you love someone,

739. and you fully devote yourself to them,

740. and you don't lie to them, and you do everything

741. in your power to be there for them fully.

742. And they know that,

743. and you don't play mind games with them — it's no longer fun.

744. They like fun.

745. They don't like anything simple.

746. So they like someone that's gonna be an asshole,

747. they like someone that doesn't have time for them

748. and won't give them attention.

749. They like everything that makes their minds race,

750. that activates that dopamine in the brain.

751. If they're not getting dopamine they don't want you.

752. They don't want anything simple.

753. Do you feel like people are being

754. unnecessarily hard on you?

755. Or do you think people are

756. there's bringing too much judgment?

757. - I'm gonna answer this with a sign language, all right?

758. Do I think people are being too hard on me?

759. Get somebody to translate to you.

760. I know how to drum roll that shit too,

761. I used to do that shit.

762. Yeah, I used to do all that shit bro,

763. I'm telling you nigga.

764. Yo nigga, I used to do some crazy shit nigga.

765. I forgot how to do that shit.

766. Ah.

767. Alright, so I'm giving all of you a chance to go fucking viral.

768. I'm doing a fucking documentary that is gonna be super big.

769. So here, everybody shout yourselves out,

770. or message in the chat so, I can get you in the video.

771. See this big ass fucking camera?

772. Yeah.

773. Shout yourselves out, hurry up,

774. I don't got all day.

775. Shout yourselves out.

776. Shout yourselves out, hurry up.

777. Hurry up.

778. Keep shouting yourselves out.

779. I bet I get a – weird one.

780. How much you wanna bet this shit weird?

781. Unexpected romantic and financial gifts

782. surprise and delight you.

783. That mean I'm finna get some pussy.

784. All right, gonna go, bye.

785. Do I think people are being too hard on me?

786. You're gonna go viral with this shit.

787. - Viral. - Viral.