I Think We're Alone Now (2008)

1. - Tiffany and I have known each other most of her life

2. and we are in love with each other

3. and she's a great singer.

4. Oh, we've kissed.

5. Oh, yeah, we have.

6. No tongue. (laughs)

7. Yeah, that didn't happen.

8. - But on the mouth?

9. - Could've.

10. Most people don't know who Tiffany is

11. because she was never that famous.

12. She started in 1987

13. with two hits, “Could've Been"

14. and "I Think We're Alone Now."

15. Number one hits.

16. But she peaked out in '87 through '88,

17. '89 she was fading

18. and pretty much faded out completely that year

19. from the public view.

20. The things I love about living in Santa Cruz

21. are the sociological freedom, the diversity,

22. the positive spirituality

23. and all the wacky, odd, weird, bizarre,

24. different people that draw the fascists off of others

25. and myself. (laughs)

26. “Former pop sensation Tiffany Darwish,"

27. they actually have her last name here,

28. “has been followed by one stalker for 11 years.

29. As a 16 year old, she was forced to get

30. a restraining order against Jeff Deane Turner."

31. They have my whole name in there!

32. "Then a 35 year old,"

33. yeah, I was 35 then when that happened.

34. “Fan who began pursuing her after kissing

35. and hugging her at a concert."

36. Didn't happen quite like that. (chuckles)

37. "Then one day, she saw him outside her house.

38. 'I was a little freaked out to say the least, '

39. says Darwish.“

40. Oh, they have her last (laughs)

41. "'I sat in the corner saying close all the windows.'

42. Now she's back in Southern California

43. and so is her stalker." (laughs)

44. "She says, 'I have to be real careful.”

45. - Another warm Colorado morning begins.

46. I'm jogging into work at a very high rate of speed,

47. reading and knowing my environment like

48. a quarterback reading the defense.

49. Getting stronger, faster, better, as days go by.

50. Hey groovy people, this is Kelly McCormick.

51. Hey.

52. After the beep, please leave your name, number,

53. and brief message.

54. I will get back to you as soon as I can.

55. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

56. - The thing I love about living here in the Mile-High City

57. of Denver is A: The people.

58. B: It's the altitude.

59. Up here is athlete's paradise

60. because if you train up here in the thin

61. Colorado Rocky Mountain air and then go back down to

62. the thick air of LA. you smoke the competition easily.

63. Yeah, I just really like to flaunt

64. what I got and to always better myself.

65. Cupid actually never came around

66. and I've never had a girlfriend before in my life.

67. I've never,

68. I mean, I've been in love,

69. but I've never had the same amount of love

70. returned back to me, which is very depressing

71. and it hurts like hell.

72. I know she won't remember,

73. but I accidentally bumped into her

74. back in the summer of 1989,

75. back when I was living in Buena Park, California.

76. Her and I talked for at least like seven hours

77. on the phone.

78. The difference between me and a stalker,

79. is they don't truly love the individual.

80. There's not one thing on Tiffany that I do not love.

81. I mean, theoretically,

82. I love her down to her bone marrow.

83. - Well, when I was in elementary school back then,

84. it was just fairly ordinary, the way it was treated,

85. till about the fifth and sixth grade.

86. Then I started to get aggravating

87. and bullying and teasing. (chuckles)

88. It got worse through junior high

89. and then it got worse in high school.

90. - And he's probably used to quite a bit of rejection,

91. so it is hard for him to trust people maybe

92. and develop enduring friendships.

93. My name is Douglas Hawes and I've known Jeff Turner

94. for 20 years.

95. - My friendship with him is very important.

96. - Yeah, I genuinely like Jeff.

97. I mean, he's...

98. I enjoy being around him, despite his foibles,

99. and it's always interesting.

100. He's got a great sense of humor.

101. I'm actually-

102. - Knuckle bony!

103. How'd you like some Brechtian

104. implosion therapy? (vocalizing)

105. - He has a positive attitude to everything,

106. including the most dark and dreary subjects.

107. It's a positive experience for me to be around Jeff.

108. When Jeff was a child, he was growing up on Air Force bases,

109. you know, an Air Force brat.

110. And Merle Deane Turner was a career military aviator

111. and he was shot down and killed in Vietnam

112. in September of 1967.

113. Both of our fathers died when we were 13, and suddenly,

114. so it's kind of like a bonding between us, I believe.

115. Maybe we're both kind of slightly emotionally stunted

116. by having had our fathers die at that age.

117. - I felt relieved

118. and very sad at the same time.

119. I felt very sad because my mother was

120. very tragically damaged by it.

121. My mom married Richard Ralph Truesdale,

122. one of my father's friends who'd served with him

123. in the Air Force.

124. Learned to appreciate him,

125. although he was and still is a tyrannical fascist.

126. But he's very good at setting up evil forces

127. and betraying them against themselves and each other.

128. - I'm not rough and tough.

129. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

130. - Okay, I don't think this is the show we want here.

131. - Who's we, Lindburgh?

132. - Yeah, well, this is-

133. - You're the only one that wanted it.

134. - Charmed! (laughs)

135. - You got the tape in there?

136. - The tape is in there.

137. At least here you can watch it

138. while you're fast forwarding it.

139. - What are you looking at?

140. Are you fast forwarding?

141. - No, I'm not fast forwarding.

142. - Did you rewind?

143. - I just put it in there.

144. My stepfather, Richard Truesdale,

145. is a model railroad enthusiast.

146. - He found two engines that were wired backwards

147. and he had head on collisions.

148. He had a boxcar he wanted to put something in

149. to haul around, so he broke the door off

150. and stuffed something inside.

151. - Got in trouble once, dropped one on the floor. (laughs)

152. And it never, it didn't run right.

153. Of course, being my stepfather,

154. like King Philip II of Spain in the late 14005,

155. the little things and the great things

156. matter equally. (laughs)

157. A good example there.

158. - We had banished him.

159. Banished.

160. Yeah, if he's not gonna use his head for something

161. besides a hat rack, he can't come in here.

162. He's got mental problems, he's disabled.

163. We tried to cure him

164. by putting him where there was doctors

165. that knew what was going on.

166. I'm not a doctor.

167. - The brilliasphere, it's like a sphere,

168. a brilliasphere, it's gonna crack open

169. and light is going to emerge and sear away

170. all the idiocy and stupidity in the universe.

171. It's the cracked ones that let light into the world.

172. - Now for a demonstration of my running capabilities.

173. I'll put on a little show for you guys here.

174. And that,

175. that I was only going maybe,

176. maybe about 7%.

177. Between seven and 10% of my actual running speed.

178. A lot of people that were born

179. with my condition, they're not as athletically inclined

180. as I am.

181. I suffer from what's known as being born intersex.

182. A condition of which a person is born with both genders.

183. Back in the late '805, early '905, people thought,

184. they would go, "You're a hermaphrodite?

185. What the hell is that?“

186. And then I would tell them and they'd go, "Back!

187. Back, stay away from me.

188. I don't wanna know you,

189. I don't want anything to do with you."

190. How would Tiffany feel about my situation?

191. I know that she would accept me for who I am.

192. I take what's known as Spiralactone,

193. which is a testosterone killer/blocker.

194. I mean, yes, I go through a monthly period

195. and you know, PMS and period,

196. just like every biological woman does,

197. including Tiffany.

198. I went to Buena Park High School in Buena Park, California.

199. Go Coyotes! Yeah!

200. I was involved in the spirit club.

201. I was also in track all four years.

202. I was the most popular person on campus.

203. Back in high school, I was closeted.

204. I was very closeted about it.

205. The price of being popular.

206. I just finally said, “Okay, enough.

207. I've had enough."

208. You know, “This is actually killing me."

209. Now, I'm very open about it

210. and I don't care what people think.

211. - Okay, I first met Jeff back in June 2002

212. when I attended a concert featuring a 1980s teen pop

213. idol singer, Tiffany, the name that she goes by.

214. So I found out that he and I have plenty in common

215. besides being Tiffany fans.

216. He and I also have a neurological disability.

217. He and I both have Asperger syndrome.

218. I think of myself as a higher functioning version

219. of say, “Rain Man " or " Forrest Gump“, those fictional

220. movie characters.

221. He immediately knew I had Asperger's

222. because I guess it takes one to know one.

223. - Whenever I meet someone with Asperger's syndrome,

224. it does make me feel like I'm not alone.

225. - It's also called "The Little Professor's Syndrome."

226. It's where a person knows all this information

227. and can just talk and talk and talk.

228. He would be utterly clueless that the people

229. that were listening to him were looking for a way to exit.

230. They were looking for the nearest window to jump out.

231. - We have a good memory, good photographic memory,

232. good at details, good with facts,

233. but we have, sadly, we have poor social skills.

234. We have trouble interacting with people,

235. we have trouble establishing friendships,

236. let alone romance, but that's the way it goes.

237. - It's easy to have romance.

238. It's just the young lady saying yes.

239. That's, you know.

240. There's women in the past, in the '805 and '905,

241. that I've had,

242. last was '90,

243. the last one was 1992 I had a physical experience with.

244. And then there was, '85,

245. and one in '87.

246. Yeah.

247. Only one of them I really liked,

248. but she went with somebody else.

249. That was the one in '85.

250. I really liked her, yeah.

251. Haven't seen her for years

252. and she wasn't interested, so you know...

253. And out of that,

254. I was redeemed and atoned for by Yeshua HaMashiach,

255. Jesus Christ.

256. - My name is Don Birkhimer, I'm the pastor of

257. Living Water Fellowship.

258. I've known Jeff probably about eight years.

259. He's a blessing to me here

260. because he always seems to find the best qualities of people

261. and he elaborates on that.

262. He is kindhearted, he is considerate.

263. If he ever meets a person, he is your best friend for life.

264. - I've known Kelly now for like 10 years.

265. We met back in 1998.

266. I met him at Bally's Total Fitness.

267. I was working out and he was the janitor there

268. and I don't know,

269. he just came up and we started talking

270. and the nurturing person in me,

271. I don't know maybe the fucked up person in me,

272. is what attracted me to him.

273. I seen this monstrosity of a problem

274. that I could relate with in myself, I guess.

275. The whole gay thing,

276. I know what it's like to be judged

277. and put down and

278. the black sheep, outcast, whatever.

279. So I kinda tried to sympathize with her

280. and I try not to judge him.

281. Which is kinda hard sometimes.

282. Then we were friends like for a year or so

283. and we decided to be roommates

284. because he was gonna get evicted from his apartment.

285. At the time, he drank too much.

286. He wasn't really responsible at budgeting his money.

287. I don't know, I was always trying to mother him

288. or be his parent

289. and it was really hard.

290. When we went out, you know, to gay clubs,

291. it's kind of embarrassing because he's so different.

292. But the more we went out,

293. I guess the easier it got

294. and it was just me.

295. It wasn't him, it was me.

296. It was my problem.

297. What's kept our friendship going for the last 10 years

298. really, to be honest, quite frankly,

299. I gave Kelly my number

300. and he's kept in constant contact with me.

301. Over the years, you know, I put more of an effort

302. into our friendship.

303. I understand him a little bit more and,

304. I don't know, I've grown to actually care for the guy.

305. Girl.

306. And, I don't know, he's just become one of my friends.

307. - So, I'm a moderator on the True to Tiffany Yahoo group,

308. which doesn't make me a psycho stalker fan,

309. it just makes me a nice girl

310. who's in front of my computer too much.

311. I met Jeff on the beach at the Today Show last year.

312. He kept swooping in and, "Oh, well in 1992,

313. Tiffany performed that at blah blah blah blah blah..."

314. He said something about how she works so hard to protect him

315. and I said, “Honey, no.

316. See, when all of the security guards swoop in

317. and surround you, it's not because Tiffany's protecting you,

318. it's because Tiffany's afraid of you." (giggles)

319. I don't think any fan that's that avid

320. and is so completely far from grounded in reality

321. can be safe, you know.

322. And I don't think Tiffany thinks he's safe

323. because if she did, all of those security guards

324. wouldn't be standing there ready and waiting for him.

325. - These books were created by the association of

326. threat management and threat assessment professional people.

327. It is part of the massive psychological operation

328. of the whole stalking thing, the new McCarthyism,

329. obsessed stalker witch hunt.

330. Another book, "Stalking and Psychosexual Obsession."

331. Boy, they really get gushy on these titles.

332. - Yes, autism, Asperger's, those people who are diagnosed

333. they are obsessed about certain things or people

334. or inanimate objects.

335. I can identify with that.

336. I think in all honesty he is obsessed,

337. but he is not dangerous.

338. He's not a danger to Tiffany or anybody else.

339. - Okay.

340. You ready?

341. “Tiffany's epiphany: I'll pose for Playboy!"

342. Oh, here's one of these articles where,

343. "Pop singer Tiffany's husband tries to hang himself."

344. And this was one of those frozen margarita brawls.

345. There were two. (chuckles)

346. Oh, here's Tiffany's graduation from high school.

347. Here's an article about the sword.

348. "Samurai fan arrested as he waits for pop star Tiffany

349. with a sword."

350. - The time that Jeff went down to the

351. Los Angeles Superior Court with the sword and Chrysanthemums

352. was probably a high point in the comic opera story

353. of Jeff Turner's life.

354. - I thought a card and flowers would be sufficient.

355. I don't know what the purpose of giving Tiffany

356. a weapon would be.

357. - Giving someone a katana and five white Chrysanthemums,

358. that is about the highest honor you could give someone

359. as a ceremonial presentation in Japan.

360. Never got to gave it to her.

361. - My father served this great country of ours

362. in the Vietnam war.

363. My father was one of the people that were overly exposed

364. to Agent Orange, a very cancerous chemical.

365. Oh my gosh, does that mean I'm an orange meat turkey?

366. Help me!

367. Gobble, gobble, buddy. (chuckles)

368. My mother and father had split custody

369. of my sister and I

370. where my mom raised me to be her younger daughter.

371. Come summertime, I had to be

372. my father's like, United States Marine Corps son.

373. I had to put all my Barbie dolls away,

374. all my dresses and skirts, whatnot.

375. It felt like I had a leash around me.

376. He was forcing me to be something that I wasn't.

377. This is who I really am and

378. I'm not a guy whatsoever.

379. - Yeah, well, I worked at the high school cafeteria

380. and then I got out of high school, went to work

381. and just worked through about 1984

382. and then employers wouldn't hire me anymore

383. and so I got the, three and a half years later,

384. got the federal disability.

385. - And then he made the foolish decision to go on disability,

386. which is probably the single most unwise decision

387. he ever made in his life.

388. 'Cause he is employable.

389. - So I receive income once a month,

390. SSI from the federal government,

391. and then I receive also a rent subsidy of HUD

392. that pays four fifths of the rent.

393. - I receive $643 a month from the federal government.

394. The government pays like three quarts of my rent

395. because of my disability

396. and because of my housing situation.

397. - A lot of people think Jeff Turner is a crazed stalker,

398. a madman.

399. But I know him very well and there is a different side

400. to this story.

401. Nobody who sees this documentary's gonna believe,

402. but Jeff has connections

403. and it goes into the whole nature of secret societies

404. and the secret society matrix that's behind the scenes

405. in this country.

406. He knows stuff that is not public information.

407. I have a masters in history and so I can talk

408. on Jeff's level

409. and at this point I've confirmed

410. a lot of Jeff's information.

411. When Jeff kind of debriefed me,

412. I immediately started talking to people

413. and saying, “This is what's really going on.“

414. there's a bunch of secret societies, rivalries,

415. and these different satanic cults, basically,

416. are fighting for control of the streets.

417. People are getting killed that are involved in this stuff.

418. - Radionic signing, psychotronic devices,

419. Nikola Tesla, great electrophysicist discoverer, you know.

420. The brain is a natural transceiver.

421. The heat built machines and amplify that.

422. - Supposedly he got it from the real people.

423. He got it from the real legitimate radionics crowd.

424. - The radionic psychotronic devices

425. and related things,

426. I've spent about $20,000.

427. There's some way they'll use photographs

428. or personal objects

429. and they'll tune it specifically, with dials and everything,

430. they'll tune it specifically to the resonate frequencies

431. of a person.

432. You know, I never ask for a lock of hair.

433. I might ask for a fingernail or a toenail or a lock of hair

434. or a scab or skin from a blister or something,

435. I could ask for that, but it just never happened

436. that I've asked for that.

437. - I mean, Jeff is shabbily dressed

438. 'cause he's spending all his money on radionics equipment,

439. on experimental physics books

440. and books about time travel, space time continuum books.

441. - Actually when I put this on

442. I'm in communication in a spiritual sense

443. and a spiritual level with Tiffany, actually.

444. 'Cause the whole thing is set up for her,

445. to communicate with her.

446. It's peacefulness.

447. There's awareness, you know.

448. What, yeah.

449. Like a,

450. well, Tiffany and I are linked anyway this way,

451. but this increases it and amplifies it.

452. - It seems like Kelly's trapped in the '803.

453. He's obsessed with the '80s.

454. I think it was all caused by his accident

455. that he had back in the '803.

456. - June 18, 1987, I was involved in

457. a critical bicycle accident.

458. I was comatose for 16 days.

459. I actually saw Tiffany

460. being together with a person

461. that looked exactly,

462. I mean, to the T.

463. After I woke up out of the coma July fourth of 1987,

464. my sister handed me my Walkman.

465. I was barely able to even move at that point in time.

466. Very first song I heard was Tiffany's

467. “I Think We're Alone Now.“

468. Then I asked my sister if she could bring me

469. a picture of her.

470. I'm not kidding, you know,

471. I almost fell right back in the coma

472. because there she was.

473. Until that point, I'd never even heard of Tiffany.

474. It's been my own personal mission ever since then

475. to be with and to follow through with this,

476. with this vision I had.

477. - In year 2004 in June, I was,

478. I asked Tiffany if she wanted to marry me

479. and she says, "No, I can't, I'm marrying Ben George.“

480. And I said, "Wonderful.

481. I'm happy for you, it's your decision.

482. I'm all for you and you go for it.

483. You go, gal.“

484. I like Ben George, he's a very taciturn, serious,

485. reserved Englishman.

486. - I'm not meaning this in a negative way towards Tiffany

487. but when she married Ben,

488. she brought a lot of negativity

489. and a lot of depression upon me.

490. For some reason that he is block, you know,

491. trying to block me.

492. Like a defensive end.

493. Like intercepting a football

494. and running it back

495. maybe 15, 20 yards before being tackled.

496. - One of my new best friends, Ben George.

497. Ben George, Tiffany, and myself, February,

498. year 2005 at the Hollywood Collectors and Celebrity Show.

499. We got it! (chuckles)

500. Yeah, I think you can see the look on his face there.

501. The look in his eyes, he's exuding jealousy. (cackles)

502. I mean, look at the look in his eyes.

503. I mean, does that look like the green eyed monster

504. of jealousy?

505. Yes, it does!

506. - My destiny is I'm supposed to be with Tiffany.

507. I'm not kidding you.

508. I'm not making any of this up.

509. I mean, if I am, put shackles on me,

510. take me to fucking jail.

511. Because, you know what, I have the right

512. to love and be happy.

513. I am sick and fucking tired of this bullshit

514. of being pushed out of Tiffany's life

515. when I'm supposed to be in it!

516. - Hey, Tiffany's had more than one very dangerous,

517. one of her managers called them "ferocious" stalkers.

518. Robert John Bardo came with his 357 Rossi,

519. that's a very powerful handgun, to a Tiffany concert

520. in Phoenix in 1988.

521. Tiffany's security stopped him and prevented that.

522. Then he went on to murder actress Rebecca Schaeffer in 1989.

523. After that, Tiffany's people were very angry

524. and proactive about the stalkers.

525. You've heard of the singer Tiffany?

526. Yeah, she's gonna be here.

527. She was here last year.

528. What happened was, is the first half of the show,

529. there was hardly anyone came here

530. and it was easy to get a seat right over here

531. in the first half of the show.

532. Now, the second half of the show, it got real crowded

533. and people were allowed to go up, you know,

534. up to near the end of the edge of the stage

535. and crank their head back.

536. And then several, a whole bunch of lesbians

537. climbed up on the stage and started groping her

538. and butt-bumping her and hugging her

539. and she was fine with that.

540. Only the security handcuffed about eight people

541. until they ran out of handcuffs.

542. I came after the show was over,

543. they had about eight people sitting on the ground

544. in handcuffs.

545. And when they ran out of handcuffs, Paul, Big Paul,

546. he just went and was just throwing people off the stage

547. that did that

548. and they stage dived into the audience.

549. I'm a friend of Tiffany's

550. and I was here last year with this.

551. I just talked to Tiffany about this last month.

552. We saw each other for two days,

553. I mean we are friends, I got pictures and,

554. that's my towel.

555. - Oh, so you're a big fan.

556. - A friend. - Friend.

557. - We're friends, yeah.

558. - Well, and a fan.

559. - Yeah, okay, yeah, that's true.

560. But friend first.

561. - Okay.

562. - I am so excited about Tiffany coming to Denver tonight.

563. Tiffany truly is my everything

564. and my heart, my body, my soul

565. longs to see her again.

566. I hope that my dream can come true tonight.

567. Damn, I thought there'd be people here by now, but...

568. I'll ask her how Elijah's,

569. Elijah, her son, is doing

570. and make it more about her instead of more about me.

571. - Thank you guys so very much!

572. Thank you!

573. God bless you all, thank you for coming.

574. We love you!

575. - Come on, Santa Cruz,

576. let's hear it for Tiffany!

577. - The really dedicated fans,

578. it dates back to our teenage years for us

579. and there's always something special

580. about your childhood fantasy

581. or your childhood dream.

582. - Tiffany, 20 years ago, I had to see the

583. New Kids on the Block unfortunately live,

584. just to see her live

585. and she was the opening act, so.

586. Right after she was off, though, I was off.

587. - When I was a lost, lonely teenager that had no friends

588. and I was sitting in my room with the door shut all day,

589. I would play Tiffany's albums

590. and dream of maybe one day meeting this person

591. and then that all kind of came true for me.

592. - Tiffany definitely rocks.

593. 20 years now, big fan of hers.

594. Her new album, “Just Me", rocks.

595. Probably one of the best albums ever recorded.

596. "Be All Right," Just Me, “ great songs.

597. - Anyone being around Tiffany, meeting her just once,

598. I've seen their life is transformed.

599. - She was such a big part of my youth.

600. - All right!

601. - She shaped the person I am today, really, you know.

602. "Could've Been-"

603. - Tiffany has shaped the person I am.

604. I am a completely different person than I would be

605. without Tiffany.

606. She is a dear friend of mine.

607. She declared, called me on the phone at home

608. in 2000 and said, “I'm your best friend, mentor,

609. and protector.“

610. Tiffany has done so much for me,

611. she has transformed my life.

612. - Hey, Luis, hey it's me.

613. Slight change of plans.

614. I'm not going to the Tiffany concert after all,

615. I'll explain it to you later, why I'm not going

616. to the Tiffany concert and yes, I'm very,

617. I'm very upset.

618. Fuck! (sniffles)

619. Fuck, fuck fuck.

620. Because of the fact that I have a photocopy

621. of my ID because I lost it,

622. I lost it some time ago, I got a photocopy of my ID

623. but that wasn't good enough.

624. Because I was gonna,

625. I was going to talk with Tiffany

626. and hopefully work everything out between us.

627. The future between Tiffany and I are very bleak,

628. it's very bleak right now.

629. Unfortunately.

630. I don't know if Tiffany and I,

631. if Tiffany and I will ever have a future together.

632. - Glamourcon is an annual convention for erotic models,

633. adult film stars, and the like

634. and Tiffany was there because she posed for Playboy.

635. It's a place where people go to make friends

636. and renew friendships

637. and that's what basically it is.

638. Weak-kneed, butterflies, oh yeah.

639. You know, I'm human as anybody else.

640. Ah, here she comes!

641. Hey there!

642. - Hey, how are you?

643. Good to see you.

644. Thank you, thank you.

645. - I will see you.

646. I got some gifts for you and we're gonna-

647. - Okay.

648. I'm running late as usual. (chuckles)

649. - I told the people you're fashionably late. (laughs)

650. Everyone at this big convention, event,

651. there was thousands of people there and I ministered.

652. God sent me to minister to hundreds of people

653. and found out most of the attendees

654. and the featured people there are saved.

655. - Praise the Lord.

656. - And I didn't see anyone acting mean spirited.

657. Everyone just loved everyone there

658. and was concerned about everyone.

659. Four different Playboys that are foreign that you were in,

660. that you're in and the centerfold.

661. - Oh, you're kidding! - So that is my gift to you.

662. - Thank you so much, that's so sweet.

663. - So, yeah. - I didn't even know

664. I was in these.

665. - Of course Tiffany was really,

666. still the most Christlike person I've ever known

667. and God really came through her

668. and was manifested uniquely in her.

669. And it was just really nice there.

670. We had a really good time in the Lord there.

671. - I fancy myself your official biographer

672. because I remember everything about you.

673. - Listen, I know.

674. - And you know that's true!

675. It came, it flashed.

676. - Thank you.

677. - As long as it flashes.

678. Okay, well, I'll be here tomorrow.

679. I have a room at the hotel.

680. - Okay.

681. - And if you would like the number, you name it.

682. - Oh, well, I appreciate that, I'm-

683. - We have an,

684. you and I have an agreement,

685. we don't hide anything from each other.

686. I keep no secrets from you at all.

687. And you're about the only one on earth,

688. that is true, you are.

689. - Hello.

690. - Is this Kelly McCormick, please?

691. - Yes it is speaking.

692. - Oh, speaking? Oh, hi, Kelly.

693. Yeah, my name is Jeff Turner

694. and I'm a personal friend of Tiffany Renee Darwish.

695. - Oh, right, cool.

696. - Yeah. - Gnarly, man, huh?

697. - Okay, how old are you?

698. - I'm 31 years old. - 31?

699. Okay, yeah, I'm older.

700. Were you aware the sport that Tiffany likes

701. to participate in most is different forms of martial arts?

702. - No, I was not aware of that.

703. - Some of her songs really are an antidote to depression.

704. I mean, there's the song called, "I'll Be the Girl,"

705. on her second album,

706. and you can listen to that and you can't be depressed

707. after that one.

708. - No offense to us blondes, because I'm a natural

709. strawberry blonde,

710. but what do you call a smart blonde?

711. - What? - A golden retriever.

712. - Okay, well, I'm gonna-

713. - And then, what's blonde and brown, blonde and brown,

714. blonde and brown?

715. - What? - Madonna doing cartwheels.

716. - Okay, I'm gonna sign off now

717. and you go seek out that,

718. find those albums and the dreams never die

719. and you'll be inspired and not depressed.

720. Okay, bye-bye.

721. - Right, bye-bye.

722. - The thing I liked about Kelly

723. that I wanted to meet with her

724. is that she really showed a spiritual connection

725. with Tiffany very similar to the one I have.

726. I found out about this Tiffany concert

727. at a nightclub in Las Vegas,

728. found out Kelly was going to go.

729. When I hear about someone who has an affinity for Tiffany

730. like I do, I want to meet them and make friends with them.

731. - This concert on Friday in Las Vegas

732. will be the very first live Tiffany concert

733. that I've been to.

734. - This is beautiful Las Vegas.

735. - I know I might look calm, but I'm not.

736. Hi, Jeff.

737. - Hey, so you're Kelly McCormick?

738. - Exactly.

739. - All righty.

740. I personally, I call him a male because I see him as male.

741. That's just, with a hermaphrodite you can take your pick.

742. - I live full time as a female.

743. I mean, jeez, these are real.

744. I've been on hormones for, jeez, about seven years now

745. and in fact, I'm totally stoked that

746. the Broncos just signed legendary Jerry Rice

747. as fourth string receiver.

748. - Mm-hmm.

749. Yeah, well, I don't have much interest in sports.

750. - Oh, wow.

751. But are you actually gay or what?

752. - I'm straight. - 80 straight.

753. - Yeah, I just fight against fascism. (chuckles)

754. - The reason why I'm staying with Jeff Turner

755. is because I don't have that much money

756. and I am very limited on my options,

757. what I can and cannot do.

758. You're gonna miss.

759. - I got it!

760. - Well, excuse me, Jeff,

761. I'm not looking for like a one night stand.

762. You know, I just don't want sex with her,

763. I want her friendship as well.

764. - We have a committed best friendship

765. and I will recommend you and say you're okay

766. and when she's your best friend,

767. you couldn't have a better friend.

768. That's a cool jacket, all right.

769. - Then I might be wearing that.

770. There's the skirt.

771. - And where's the hoop earrings? (chuckles)

772. - You're right on, Jeff.

773. - Oh, yeah, the jewel.

774. They'll match your hair.

775. - I'm doing my makeup up really good.

776. - There to help you get rid of your roll,

777. your gut roll.

778. Yep.

779. Get rid of that gut roll without having to have

780. a body sculpt, you'll be doing great.

781. - (sighs) Somehow I'm running on willpower.

782. It's keeping me awake right now.

783. That's the only thing keeping me awake.

784. That doesn't stay on right.

785. (sighs) Fuck me.

786. Course, you might be able to tell,

787. I am starting to slow down a little bit

788. and yes, I'm getting tired.

789. But as you can see, mind over matter

790. equals positive thoughts

791. and it's just something I've got to get done tonight,

792. so I'm not going to sleep until I get it done.

793. Because I've been waiting for too long,

794. for almost 14 years for this

795. and I'm not gonna slow down now.

796. I mean, I need this so bad, it's not,

797. it's not even funny.

798. I know Jeff says that

799. Tiffany means a lot to him, too,

800. but the bottom line is

801. I think I've got him outmatched, easy.

802. I expect the worst, but hope for the best.

803. I'll always be ready for the worst.

804. But this one I'm not ready for.

805. I mean,

806. I mean,

807. I don't know how to,

808. any way else to put this,

809. but I'm almost guarantee,

810. I'm almost sure that Tiffany will remember me.

811. - Mm.

812. - Like, you think so, Jeff?

813. - Yep, I sure do.

814. - I'm gonna do one more song, if that's okay.

815. And then I'm going to meet each and every one of you guys.

816. Right up here in the front, I'll be signing autographs.

817. Hopefully I'll get a chance to meet all of you guys,

818. chit chat a little bit.

819. I'll prepare you, I talk a lot, so be prepared.

820. Thank you guys so much!

821. God bless you all, thank you!

822. So glad you could be here, thank you.

823. - Maybe Tiffany is not going home to Denver with me

824. tomorrow night.

825. However, I have,

826. I've got something more important than just that

827. and that is her everlasting friendship.

828. And I mean,

829. anyone in love knows that you must start off as friends.

830. Very strong, very positive friends.

831. Otherwise, you would scare the person, so...

832. Would it be totally redundant and ridiculous

833. if I say that

834. the biggest ambition that I could ever have

835. just came true.

836. - It's not redundant at all.

837. That's wonderful, I'm glad you said that.

838. Because being with her is one of my,

839. probably is one of my two or three biggest ambitions

840. is being with her and continuing our friendship

841. that it continues to grow.

842. - She actually kissed me on the cheek as well

843. I mean-

844. - Wonderful.

845. I'm very happy for you both.

846. - I mean, I'm...

847. I just cannot put into words how I feel right now.

848. - I remember the first time Tiffany actually

849. reached out in front of over 500 people

850. and kissed me on the cheek

851. and made a point of doing it.

852. It was in February 1989 in San Jose

853. and there was over 500 people there

854. and we were walking-

855. - Excuse me, Jeff,

856. please don't take this the wrong way, but,

857. I mean, jeez, you're taking words out of my mouth.

858. All right?

859. Because that was completely unfair.

860. End of discussion.

861. - Oh, yeah.

862. She treats everyone unique and individual, you know it.

863. But with equal love.

864. Or should I say unlimited love?

865. You can't measure love.

866. - Yeah.

867. - So it's immeasurable. - Yeah.

868. - Yeah, well I'm looking forward to seeing you

869. at some more Tiffany events in the future.

870. - Yeah, same here.

871. Same here.

872. “Dearest Tiffany, hi.

873. How's my one and only lady doing?

874. I'm okay.

875. That was one extremely good concert last night.

876. This road trip was a huge success,

877. especially when we talked for a few minutes

878. after the concert.

879. It felt so very good when we kissed each other

880. and hugged each other.

881. I'm really glad that you remembered me.

882. I really love you so much."

883. - In 10 years I see myself married.

884. Don't know if I'll have children or not,

885. but I see myself as married.

886. A lot's changed in my life.

887. The realization of Alyssa, which is really nice.

888. I can't marry Tiffany! (laughs)

889. Even

890. It's not possible, so...

891. If Tiffany was available to marry

892. and then Alyssa being available,

893. have to make a choice between the two of them, I'd

894. probably choose Alyssa.

895. Okay, here's the two, CDs of Alyssa.

896. They're erotic art films of Alyssa.

897. I don't know why I have two of these, but,

898. yeah, that's Alyssa on the set of "Charmed" last season.

899. Interesting little study.

900. Way too much eye makeup. (laughs)

901. Way too much grease. (laughs)

902. - I've had tremendous help staying away from drugs

903. from my very best friend, Abby.

904. Abby actually helps to make me feel

905. more like my real self.

906. Abby makes me feel more like a woman

907. and less of the athletic machine that I am.

908. - It was like centered right in my back.

909. - Yeah.

910. That's exactly where I was aiming for.

911. - Oh my god.

912. I have known Kelly for about a year and a half

913. and her and I met in a doctor's office.

914. I'd never seen anybody that looked like Kelly

915. in reference to her outside appearance.

916. Kelly often just ignores people's comments

917. about her being an intersex.

918. They often times ask me, "Is that a boy or is that a girl?“

919. She is one of the strongest people I've ever met.

920. Kelly and I both like beer a lot,

921. so we will occasionally go to a small local bar

922. and drink beers together.

923. - I feel that Abby really likes about me

924. is, you know, I'm always funny.

925. That helps to bring her back up to where she's happy again.

926. Yeah, here!

927. I got a better idea for you.

928. How about I go call Fabio and

929. come stick a hose in your biceps to pump you up

930. because I'm Hans from Hans and Franz,

931. Saturday Night Live, I'm here to pump

932. (claps) you up yeah!

933. - She extends herself out and goes the extra mile

934. for every person that she knows.

935. She is an incredible, incredible listener

936. and has been there for me whenever I need her.

937. - Coming up here in a couple weeks,

938. I will be getting a job as a bicycle courier

939. and I will be flying around the Mile-High City streets

940. at extreme speeds.

941. My case manager and my psychologist both are trying

942. to get me breast implants.

943. Watch out, Britney Spears!

944. They're gonna surgically remove my male gender,

945. but I'm going to be finally complete

946. and I'm gonna be finally happy with who I am

947. on the inside as well as on the outside.

948. If someone else came along,

949. yeah, I would definitely look into the possibilities

950. of dating a woman,

951. and other women, of course.

952. I prefer the down to earth type, so if anyone out there,

953. if any girl out there is interested,

954. here's my number flashing across the screen. (laughs)

955. - It took a week of work to get this cleaned up.

956. I needed to clean it up for a long time,

957. so I finally got rid of two Dempster-Dumpsters

958. worth of stuff.

959. The bathroom is improved and the bathtub's clean

960. and a new mattress!

961. A new mattress, that old ratty thing is gone.

962. I used to be in love with Tiffany,

963. but Tiffany and I have always had our friendship.

964. You have to be absolutely sure what you're getting into

965. when you make a commitment of friendship,

966. to stand by that friendship no matter what

967. anyone can throw at you, any grief anyone can give you.

968. The commitment of just friendship has to stand.

969. - It's the journey that brings us happiness,

970. not the destination.

971. Regardless of what happens,

972. of whether I'm with Tiffany or not,

973. the one thing that I've pulled out,

974. you know, one thing that I've learned from all this,

975. is Tiffany has taught me how to be much stronger.

976. To be a much stronger person

977. and to actually believe in myself.