1. Attention, boils and ghouls,
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2. it's time for Dr. Wolfenstein's
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3. "Creature Feature Show."
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4. Ah-hhh.
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5. The doctor is in.
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6. Don't scream. Don't move.
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7. Stay tuned for Channel 68's
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8. Halloween Eve movie marathon.
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9. I'm your host,
your ghost host
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10. with the most,
Dr. Wolfenstein.
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11. I will be with you
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12. until the end.
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13. Howdy folks.
Black Blood.
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14. Violence.
Freaks of Nature.
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15. Come on down to Captain Spaulding's
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16. Museum of Monsters and Madmen.
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17. See the Alligator Boy.
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18. Ride my famous Murder Ride.
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19. Most of all,
don't forget to take home
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20. some of my tasty fried chicken.
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21. It just tastes so damn good.
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22. with a meat cleaver.
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23. See it, hear it,
and actually feel it.
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24. Coming after you
to rip your flesh apart.
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25. Unbelievable but true.
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26. See it, hear it,
and actually feel it.
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27. Shit, I can't do nothin' with this.
I can't get rid of this.
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28. It ain't worth nothin',
my name's all over it.
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29. I was fixing it to trade it
to Jackie Cobb.
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30. That retard that hangs out
at Molly's Fruit Stand?
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31. - Yeah.
- For the life of me
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32. I cannot understand why
you hang out with that asshole.
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33. He's one horny retard.
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34. Well, ain't they all?
All they wanna do is eat and fuck.
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35. If you knew him,
you might understand his urges.
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36. Worse than a rabid-ass baboon.
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37. You know what his favorite thing is
next to whacking his weasel?
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38. He takes a sharpened pencil
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39. and sticks it in his eyeball
and twists it.
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40. - What?
- He doesn't hurt himself though,
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41. he kind of twists it
right next to his eyeball.
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42. He'd been putting that pencil
someplace other than his eyeball.
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43. He don't do nothin' like that.
Although, once he got caught
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44. with a "Planet of the Apes" doll
stuck up his asshole.
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45. Goddamn.
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46. They had to take him
to the hospital.
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47. Kid had Dr. Zaius stuck
halfway up his butt.
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48. Couldn't get it out.
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49. - Did you fix the toilet?
- Yes, I did,
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50. and I don't want you stuffing any
goddamn paper towels down there.
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51. I had to snake
the shit out that thing.
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52. Here you go.
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53. You bust that crapper
and I'm gonna bust your ass.
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54. I hear ya.
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55. Mary, fucking Moses,
ya'll get the fuck outta here.
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56. Hold it, clowney.
Keep your paws where I can see them.
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57. Don't move.
I'll blast a hole the size of
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58. a Kansas City watermelon
through your ugly ass, Bozo face.
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59. What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
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60. Go grab that other asshole
out of the shitter
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61. - and drag his ass back in here.
- Right.
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62. You miserable motherfu...
I ought to jump over this counter
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63. and bash your fucking balls in.
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64. All right, Tippy,
hand over the cash box
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65. and I might leave
your brains inside your skull.
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66. I'll tell you what, Ski King,
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67. why don't you just take
your mama home some chicken
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68. and then I won't have to stuff
my boot all up in ya ass!
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69. I don't like chicken!
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70. And I hate clowns!
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71. Put that shit down.
Put it down!
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72. That is it!
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73. I'm gonna count to 10 and you're
gonna hand over all the cash,
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74. or I'm gonna splatter
your grease-paint mug
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75. across the state line.
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76. - One...
- Fuck yo mama.
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77. - Two...
- Fuck yo sister.
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78. What are we gonna do?
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79. I know you, you work
at the hardware store, right?
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80. - Richard Wick, right?
- Shut your trap.
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81. Quiet down, both of you!
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82. - Three...
- Fuck yo grandma.
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83. I remember now.
All the guys made fun of you.
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84. - Called you Little Dick Wick.
- Shut up!
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85. Stop singing,
I hate that song.
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86. Put your fucking mask back on.
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87. Fuck it!
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88. Most of all,
fuck you!
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89. Goddamn motherfucker got
blood all over my best clown suit.
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90. How many want
to touch this afternoon?
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91. Raise your hand if you want
God to touch you.
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92. I'm gonna pray that God
will give you a divine touch...
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93. the US Department of Agriculture
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94. is checking whether
state meat and poultry inspectors
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95. are good enough to allow the
product to go on sale nationally.
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96. The USDA has said...
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97. Man, some of these
Manson chicks are really hot.
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98. Shit, how are we
almost out of gas?
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99. And this squeaky, right here,
now that's a girl you would date.
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100. - Jerry, how much did you put in?
- I don't know? Two, three bucks.
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101. Two, three bucks?
I told you to fill...
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102. - Bill, feel me, am I made of money?
- Get off. Jesus Christ, Jerry.
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103. Don't panic yourself there
way too much, caffeine guy.
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104. I wouldn't be drinking
so much coffee
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105. if you did your share
of the driving.
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106. - You know I don't have nightvision.
- Oh, not this again.
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107. Seriously, I can't even make out
the lines in the road.
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108. If you wanna pull the car over,
I'll be more than happy
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109. to kill us out
in the middle of nowhere.
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110. Besides, there's a billboard
right there.
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111. Captain Spaulding's Museum
of Monsters and Madmen.
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112. Awesome, great!
Fried chicken and gasoline.
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113. Next exit, there you go,
problem solved
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114. and we didn't have to freak out.
It was a real big deal.
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115. Dick.
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116. All right.
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117. I'll pump the gas. Go inside
and see if it's worth checking out.
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118. Okay, Mr. Cranky.
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119. Holy... crap!
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120. You gotta see this place.
It's boss.
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121. - How boss?
- Really fucking boss.
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122. Like, wake up the chicks
and break out the camera boss?
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123. Hell, yeah.
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124. Wakey, wakey!
Eggs and bacon.
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125. Hey, sweetie, come on.
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126. Grab Mary and get your stuff
and come on inside.
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127. Bill and I found a kick-ass place.
Come on, move, move!
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128. Let's go.
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129. Come on, Sleeping Beauty,
it's time to go to work.
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130. What's in that case over there?
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131. Hairless monkey.
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132. Did you see the crocodile boy?
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133. How'd you like to find
that in your pants?
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134. - Excuse me, sir? Howdy.
- Hi.
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135. I love this place. How long have
you been running this place?
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136. Well, uhm...
How long's a piece of string?
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137. I don't know.
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138. Too goddamn long,
that's how long.
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139. Too goddamn long,
that's right.
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140. Right, I hear that,
but how long, actually?
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141. Oh, shit, I don't know exactly.
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142. I took over for my pa,
right after the Duke damned Oscar.
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143. - Oh, you mean John Wayne.
- Hell, son.
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144. How many dukes do you know about?
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145. - Greatest American ever lived.
- Look at that.
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146. "Circle up the wagons, pilgrims."
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147. "Whatever you say, cowboy."
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148. I'm not that much of a Western fan.
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149. I like science-fiction.
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150. Ah-hhh. Space boy.
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151. I figured as much.
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152. Let me ask you something.
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153. How come you're asking
so many jackassy questions?
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154. My friends and I,
we're driving across country
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155. writing this book on off-beat
roadside attractions,
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156. the crazy shit you see when
you're driving across the country.
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157. I don't drive cross country.
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158. But if you did.
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159. But I don't.
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160. Yeah, but supposing
for a second that you did.
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161. You little dickens, you.
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162. I know what your problem is.
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163. What's that?
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164. Ya'll think us folks from the
country's funny-like, don't you?
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165. - Jerry...
- Well, saddle up the mule, ma.
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166. Slide me some grits,
I's got to get me some education.
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167. - Jerry...
- You asshole.
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168. No, I'm really very interested,
I'm not trying to make fun.
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169. Gotcha!
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170. You are such a bad clown.
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171. Oh, fuck me, Side Sally,
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172. who the hell'd wanna read about
all this horseshit anyway?
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173. You'd be surprised.
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174. Son, look around.
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175. Would I be surprised?
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176. Finally. Great, great. Come on, we
paid for the tickets.
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177. - Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- What tickets?
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178. This isn't everything.
There is actually a murder ride.
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179. A murder ride?
I don't want to go on a murder ride.
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180. - Yes, you do wanna go on a...
- No, I don't.
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181. Hey, how about
if we skip the murder ride?
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182. Hey, how about if we go?
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183. Anytime this year, people.
Tour is about to begin.
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184. Okay, we'll see you inside
the murder ride, we'll be back. Bye.
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185. Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
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186. children of all ages,
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187. you are about to enter
the world of darkness,
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188. a world where life
and death are meaningless,
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189. and pain is God.
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190. - Pain!
- Billy, let's go.
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191. - Quit that, sport.
- Sorry, Captain Spaulding.
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192. We gonna have a good time now.
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193. On your right, you will see
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194. the infamous
Albert... Fish.
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195. Masochist, sadist,
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196. child killer and most importantly,
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197. cannibal.
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198. Mr. Fish, born 1870
and enjoyed spankings
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199. with nail-studded paddles,
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200. stuffing needles
deep into his groin.
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201. - I have a question. How many...
- Hold all questions.
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202. No, no, help.
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203. Lizzie fucking Borden.
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204. Now, one of our most famous crazies,
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205. the psycho of Plainsfield,
Mr. Ed Gein.
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206. Murderer, cannibal,
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207. Mr. Gein used to take
great pleasure
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208. of playing with
dead bodies of women,
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209. especially, their sexual organs.
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210. Now, one of our local heroes,
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211. S. Quentin Quale,
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212. aka Dr. Satan.
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213. Oh shit!
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214. Murderer, torturer,
but most of all, master surgeon.
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215. Mr. Quail was an intern
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216. at Willows County Mental Hospital,
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217. nicknamed Weeping Willows
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218. for the neverending cries of pain.
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219. Through primitive brain surgery...
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220. - Jerry, stop it.
- Mr. Quail believed
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221. that he could create
a race of superhumans
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222. from the mentally ill.
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223. Vigilante justice prevailed.
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224. They took his ass out and hung him.
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225. And that infamous hanging tree
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226. is no more than a stone's throw away
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227. from where y'alls' ass
is now seated.
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228. But the next day
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229. his body was found
to be missing.
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230. Until today
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231. no trace of Dr. Satan
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232. has ever been discovered.
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233. But then, who knows?
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234. Maybe he lives next door to you.
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235. Tour's over.
Exit through the doors.
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236. That was so bad-ass.
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237. Dr. Satan. Ah-hhh,
Dr. Satan.
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238. Maybe he lives next door to you.
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239. Calm down, it was all right.
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240. Do you think maybe we could go now?
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241. I'm gonna go call my dad.
I'll be right back.
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242. I love you.
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243. What do you mean,
it was all right?
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244. It was cool,
but it wasn't that great.
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245. Dude, you don't have to play it
down in front of your chick.
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246. - Oh.
- Thank you.
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247. Don't move a muscle, an artery,
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248. Or a vein.
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249. - Hello?
- Hey, Dad.
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250. - Wow, Denise.
- We stopped for gas
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251. at this place
called Captain Spaulding's,
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252. somewhere outside
of Ruggsville.
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253. It turned into this whole big thing,
so we're behind schedule.
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254. Don't be too late.
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255. I forgot to tell you that Halloween
falls on a school night
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256. so they're
trick-or-treating tonight.
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257. Your left hand shows your past;
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258. your right hand shows your future.
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259. Good evening.
I'm Lance Brockwell
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260. and this is the 7:00 news.
And our top story tonight,
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261. investigators still have no leads
to the strange disappearance
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262. of the five cheerleaders
from Ruggsville High School.
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263. Cindy Thompson, Karen Murphy,
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264. Allison Cole, Valarie Green,
and Dawn Baker
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265. were last seen four days ago
leaving a football game.
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266. I know it seems stupid,
but I really wanna see this tree.
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267. Do yourself a favor, son,
just forget about it.
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268. Oh, come on,
I live for this shit.
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269. Okay, all right,
I'll draw you a damn map.
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270. - Thank you.
- I still say it's a waste of time.
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271. You are here.
Go straight up this road.
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272. Make the first right.
First left.
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273. Come straight across
and down.
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274. Can't find it? Tough.
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275. - Here's your map.
- Right on.
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276. - Here's your complimentary chicken.
- Oh, wow.
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277. Don't let the door hit you
in the ass on the way out.
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278. You're gonna get
a great write-up for this.
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279. Here's an idea, let's just skip it.
It's probably nothing anyway.
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280. Christ, Jerry, Bill is right,
we can't see anything.
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281. What's that?
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282. Hitchhiker.
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283. - What? Should we stop?
- We can't leave her in the rain.
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284. Stick her in the front
if you wanna pick her up so bad.
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285. So, uh,
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286. - where ya headed?
- I was just going home.
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287. - Home, where's that?
- A couple miles up the road.
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288. - So, you live around here?
- Yeah.
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289. Do you know where
this Dr. Satan tree's at?
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290. Yeah. You know where that's at?
It's right by my house.
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291. - I can show you.
- Really?
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292. - So, it is a real thing.
- Fuck you.
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293. So, a tree?
Where's it at?
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294. - What tree?
Okay, this is crazy.
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295. She obviously doesn't
know anything.
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296. Oh, I know,
I'll show you where it's at.
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297. Whatever you need to do, you do it.
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298. There is no wrong.
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299. If someone needs to be killed,
you kill 'em.
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300. That's the way.
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301. Fuck.
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302. I think we blew a tire.
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303. - Oh poop.
- Oh, hell.
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304. At least we got that spare.
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305. You filled it up
like I asked, right?
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306. Yeah, yeah.
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307. Okay, what if I forgot
to put it back in the trunk?
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308. What would plan B entail?
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309. - Jesus Christ, Jerry.
- Technically I did what you said.
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310. Oh for fucking sake, Jerry,
what're we gonna do now?
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311. I can't rightly
say if I know, me ladies.
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312. Wait, I love this song.
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313. Would you turn
the radio off, please?
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314. God!
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315. We can walk to my house from here.
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316. What?
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317. My brother's got a tow truck.
He can come get your car.
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318. - I'll go, it's my fault.
- Forget it, I'm going.
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319. - No, Bill, I...
- You guys stay here.
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320. There's no sense in everyone
getting drenched.
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321. Returning to the news,
local authorities still have no lead
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322. in the mysterious disappearance
of the five cheerleaders
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323. from Ruggsville.
The girls were last seen
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324. leaving a cheering competition...
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325. It was loud enough
to wake the dead.
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326. That's an idea.
What is?
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327. Wouldn't it be dramatic? Supposing
the people inside were dead,
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328. all stretched out with the lights
quietly burning about them.
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329. I'm sure it would be very amusing.
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330. Why you ask?
Why is not the question.
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331. How?
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332. Now, that is a question
worth examining.
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333. How could I,
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334. being born of such
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335. conventional stock,
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336. arrive a leader of the rebellion?
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337. An escapist from a conformist world,
destined to find happiness
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338. only in that which
cannot be explained.
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339. I brought you here for a reason.
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340. But unfortunately,
you and your sentimental minds
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341. are doing me no good.
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342. My brain is frozen,
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343. locked.
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344. I have to break free
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345. from this culture
of mechanical reproductions
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346. and the thick incrustations
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347. dying on the surface.
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348. Oh, Christ.
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349. Fuck it.
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350. These are all my dolls.
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351. I used to chop their heads off
and their arms
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352. and stick them up on the wall.
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353. The door's locked,
I gotta go around.
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354. Just wait here.
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355. Jesus Christ!
Don't do that.
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356. You scared the shit out of me.
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357. You ain't seen nothing yet.
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358. - Is your brother ready to go?
- Yeah, he already left.
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359. - Come on, inside.
- What? He left?
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360. Come on and get toasty.
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361. Don't worry about it, he's fine.
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362. I just don't understand why...
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363. What was that?
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364. What? I didn't hear anything.
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365. Turn the radio off.
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366. Now listen.
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367. I still don't hear anything.
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368. I swear to God,
I heard some weird...
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369. Turn on the headlights,
see if something's out there.
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370. Calm down, calm down.
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371. Jesus H. Christ.
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372. It's the fucking tow truck guy.
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373. So,
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374. you live alone here?
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375. I mean,
just you and your brother?
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376. Nah, there's a bunch of us
around somewhere.
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377. I think Otis is upstairs
messing around or something.
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378. You gotta have the marshmallows.
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379. That's what makes it fun.
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380. Yeah, I guess.
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381. You sure do a lot of guessing.
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382. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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383. Wow.
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384. Look at him.
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385. He must've been going pretty fast
to smash through that wall.
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386. You sure are silly
for a guy with glasses.
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387. - I like that.
- Okay, hey.
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388. Need those to see, thank you.
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389. How do I look?
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390. Terrific, really.
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391. Tasty.
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392. Ain't the only thing
tasty in this house.
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393. Okay, okay.
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394. I wonder what time...
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395. - it's getting kind of late.
- Don't worry, sugar.
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396. It ain't past my bedtime
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397. Are you flirting with me?
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398. What? Oh, no.
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399. Great! They're back.
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400. Whoppie-fucking-do.
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401. Excuse me?
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402. I gotta call my dad
and tell him we're gonna be late.
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403. Can I use your phone, please?
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404. Hello?
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405. Ain't got one.
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406. - Oh, hi.
- Goodness.
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407. You really don't have a phone?
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408. No.
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409. I once had one back in '57,
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410. but...
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411. I don't quite remember.
There's nobody round here.
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412. I feel like jaw-flapping at no more.
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413. Do you think the guy with the tow
truck could drive us to a phone?
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414. His name is Rufus,
Rufus Jr.
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415. But we all call him
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416. - RJ.
- Makes sense.
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417. What do they call you, sweetie?
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418. I am Qualsnarg of the Crab Nebula.
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419. But you humans can call me Jerry.
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420. Jerry.
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421. Baby, go on and see how RJ's doin'
with these nice folks' automobile.
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422. Why don't you just all make
yourselves to home?
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423. What brings you kids way out here?
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424. Haven't you got something better
to do on Halloween
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425. than wander around
out in the sticks?
Copy !req
426. I thought maybe
we'd take in a hoedown.
Copy !req
427. No, he's just joking.
Copy !req
428. - You are?
- I'm sorry, I'm messing with you.
Copy !req
429. Shut up, dude.
Copy !req
430. Oh, I get it.
Copy !req
431. Y'all just think you're too good
Copy !req
432. for the simple pleasures
of Halloween.
Copy !req
433. No, just a little too old.
Copy !req
434. Oh really? I hope something
changes your mind
Copy !req
435. someday.
Copy !req
436. - Mama, Tiny's home.
- What about RJ?
Copy !req
437. He was gone before I seen him.
Copy !req
438. But Tiny saw him and said he said
he was going down to the yard
Copy !req
439. to get a new wheel.
Copy !req
440. How long is that gonna take?
Copy !req
441. Probably be back
in a couple of hours.
Copy !req
442. A couple of hours? What?
Copy !req
443. Can't Tiny drive us to a phone?
Copy !req
444. Tiny ain't got no car,
Copy !req
445. he ain't even got a bicycle.
Copy !req
446. Even though I know
that you think it is childish,
Copy !req
447. tonight is Halloween Eve,
Copy !req
448. and to us
Copy !req
449. it is special.
Copy !req
450. So you are all invited to dinner.
Copy !req
451. I hope to Christ she don't expect
us to wear these things.
Copy !req
452. What ever it is, just do it.
Copy !req
453. The more we play along the faster
we'll get the hell out of here.
Copy !req
454. Now is not the time to make waves.
Jerry.
Copy !req
455. You'll have to forgive Tiny.
Copy !req
456. He can't hear so much.
Copy !req
457. That poor baby.
Copy !req
458. It's his daddy's fault.
Copy !req
459. Earl wasn't a bad man,
Copy !req
460. he never hit me
or nothing like that.
Copy !req
461. One day he just up
and went devil on us all.
Copy !req
462. - What happened?
- He tried to burn down the house.
Copy !req
463. He said it was
possessed by the spirits.
Copy !req
464. And Tiny was sleeping in the
basement where the fire started.
Copy !req
465. But I don't think Earl
ever meant to harm us.
Copy !req
466. Tiny was badly burnt,
his ears were destroyed
Copy !req
467. and most of his skin.
Copy !req
468. - Is that why he wears the mask?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
469. My baby boy gets
shy around new people,
Copy !req
470. but he'll warm up to you,
Copy !req
471. especially the girls.
Copy !req
472. He's a real lady-killer.
Copy !req
473. You're gonna miss
a good show tonight.
Copy !req
474. That's your tough luck.
Copy !req
475. I thought you kids
were all about team spirit.
Copy !req
476. You ain't done fuck-all
to cheer me up since you got here.
Copy !req
477. Give me a B. Give me an A.
Copy !req
478. Give me a B. Give me a Y.
Copy !req
479. What's that spell?
What's that spell?
Copy !req
480. What's that spell?
Copy !req
481. Baby.
Copy !req
482. You're damn right.
Copy !req
483. Okay now.
Everybody put on your masks.
Copy !req
484. Can't very well eat our desserts
with our everyday faces exposed.
Copy !req
485. Can we?
Copy !req
486. Gosh, kid, put it on.
Copy !req
487. She ain't gonna let
any of us touch dessert
Copy !req
488. unless you're wearing
this damn thing.
Copy !req
489. Mrs. Firefly?
Copy !req
490. Do you know anything
about the legend of Dr. Satan?
Copy !req
491. Here we go.
- Shut up.
Copy !req
492. I'm not much for gossip
and this and that,
Copy !req
493. - but I have heard...
- I know all about
Copy !req
494. what you wanna know all about.
Copy !req
495. Otis.
Copy !req
496. I can't believe you decided
Copy !req
497. to come down and join us.
Copy !req
498. And you brought Little Wolf.
Copy !req
499. Oh, my baby.
Copy !req
500. Oh my God.
Copy !req
501. It's such a special night for me.
Copy !req
502. I don't know
Copy !req
503. who told you your fairy fables
about Dr. Satan.
Copy !req
504. We heard it from a Captain Spaulding
Copy !req
505. up the road at...
Copy !req
506. That old bitch hog don't know shit.
Copy !req
507. Tells this cute little tattle-tales
to sell his junk,
Copy !req
508. but he don't sell
no Yankee boys no truth.
Copy !req
509. Something happened, right? It had
to be based on some real incident.
Copy !req
510. Are you, Jimmy Olsen,
cub reporter for the Daily Asshole?
Copy !req
511. - Grampa, watch your language.
- I don't think you need to know.
Copy !req
512. Better you leave here
with your head still full
Copy !req
513. of kitty cats and puppy dogs.
Copy !req
514. - I really would like to know...
- Hey, he'd really like to know.
Copy !req
515. Enlighten him.
Copy !req
516. I bet you'd stick your head in fire
if I told ya you could see hell.
Copy !req
517. Meanwhile, you're too stupid
to realize
Copy !req
518. you got a demon
sticking out your ass
Copy !req
519. singing, "Holy Miss Moley,"
Copy !req
520. "Got me a live one."
Copy !req
521. Can we change the subject, please?
Copy !req
522. Dinner's over.
Copy !req
523. Ladies and germs,
Copy !req
524. it's show time!
Copy !req
525. Tell you a little story...
Copy !req
526. Eat your wife's pussy...
Copy !req
527. I mean jam your face in it!
Copy !req
528. starts licking and chomping
on her pussy
Copy !req
529. and she's screamin'
and yellin' and she just...
Copy !req
530. Ah-hhh!
Copy !req
531. The old battleaxe at home's
liable to crush my balls!
Copy !req
532. Would you be quiet?
Copy !req
533. You're gonna wake up grandma.
Copy !req
534. Bravo, man.
Copy !req
535. Hey, hey, hey, don't be moving now,
don't be moving.
Copy !req
536. We got something real special
for you men out there.
Copy !req
537. Wow!
Copy !req
538. Jerry.
Copy !req
539. Get off him.
Copy !req
540. I said get the fuck off him,
you stupid fucking whore!
Copy !req
541. - Fucking slut!
- You shouldn't have done that.
Copy !req
542. Oh, really? Are you gonna
do something about it?
Copy !req
543. - I'll do something, motherfucker.
- Yeah, come on.
Copy !req
544. I'll fucking cut your tits off
and shove them down your throat.
Copy !req
545. - Baby, stop!
- Come on, Ma,
Copy !req
546. - this bitch has got it coming.
- No, I told you, remember?
Copy !req
547. - Car's done.
- Thank God.
Copy !req
548. I suggest that you kids leave.
Copy !req
549. We're gone.
Copy !req
550. Fuck you!
Copy !req
551. - I love you, Mama.
- I know.
Copy !req
552. Lock the fucking doors!
Hurry up.
Copy !req
553. Jesus Christ, you think she
was really gonna cut you.
Copy !req
554. Of course she was gonna cut me,
she's a fucking nut.
Copy !req
555. I knew she was crazy from
the second we picked her up.
Copy !req
556. Okay. That's that.
Copy !req
557. Let's get out
of this fucking nuthouse.
Copy !req
558. What're you doing?
Why are you stopping?
Copy !req
559. - I gotta open the gate!
- For Christ's sake, hurry up!
Copy !req
560. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
561. Somebody help him!
Copy !req
562. Oh shit!
What are they doing to him?
Copy !req
563. Who's that?
Copy !req
564. Oh my God!
Copy !req
565. Shut the fucking door!
Oh, no!
Copy !req
566. Somebody help us!
Copy !req
567. Oh my God! Get away from us!
Copy !req
568. No, please.
Copy !req
569. Oh my God!
Copy !req
570. No-ooo!
Copy !req
571. Oh my God!
Copy !req
572. Help me! Help me!
Copy !req
573. rock and roll this morning
with some Led Zeppelin...
Copy !req
574. kinda wild around
the radio station today,
Copy !req
575. it being a holiday.
Copy !req
576. It's kinda like
a ghost town around here.
Copy !req
577. It's kinda nice though,
it's kinda kick back.
Copy !req
578. Maybe time to get away with stuff.
Copy !req
579. Huston.
Copy !req
580. Donald Willis.
Copy !req
581. - Don Willis, how the hell are you?
- Listen, Frank,
Copy !req
582. I'm a little worried about Denise.
Copy !req
583. She called me last night
from the road near Ruggsville,
Copy !req
584. a place called Spaulding's.
Copy !req
585. Yeah, I know the joint.
Copy !req
586. She said she'd be here about 11:00,
but she never showed up.
Copy !req
587. I'll run a check on up there
by Spaulding's
Copy !req
588. and see if there's any accidents,
or road closings.
Copy !req
589. It was raining like
a son of a bitch here last night.
Copy !req
590. They're probably just stuck
in the mud someplace.
Copy !req
591. Shut your mouth!
Copy !req
592. I said, shut your fucking mouth!
Copy !req
593. Listen, you Malibu middleclass
Barbie piece of shit,
Copy !req
594. I'm trying to work here!
Copy !req
595. Work! You ever work?
Copy !req
596. Yeah, I'll bet you have.
Copy !req
597. Scooping ice cream to your shitheel
friends on summer break.
Copy !req
598. I ain't talking about
no goddamn white socks
Copy !req
599. with Mickey Mouse on one side
and Donald Duck on the other.
Copy !req
600. I ain't readin'
no funny books, Mama.
Copy !req
601. Our bodies come and go,
but this blood is forever.
Copy !req
602. I'm gonna remove your gag,
Copy !req
603. but if you make so much
as a fucking peep
Copy !req
604. I'm gonna cut you like a pig
Copy !req
605. and make you eat your own
fucking intestines. You got me?
Copy !req
606. Why are you doing this to me?
Copy !req
607. - Why are you doing this?
- Doing what?
Copy !req
608. Messy up your day?
Copy !req
609. Where's Bill?
Copy !req
610. - Where's Bill?
- Bill?
Copy !req
611. Is he okay?
Copy !req
612. He's a good guy.
Copy !req
613. He's been a great help to me.
A real blessin'.
Copy !req
614. I couldn't have asked
for a better specimen.
Copy !req
615. You don't know
Copy !req
616. what kind of dry spell I've had,
Copy !req
617. total block, total block.
Copy !req
618. But Bill,
Copy !req
619. he's okay.
Copy !req
620. Where is he?
Copy !req
621. Hi.
Copy !req
622. Where is he?
Can I see him?
Copy !req
623. Can I see Bill, please?
Copy !req
624. Let's go see.
Copy !req
625. Behold...
Copy !req
626. - Fish-boy!
- Oh my God!
Copy !req
627. Oh my God, Bill.
Copy !req
628. No, no, this can't be real.
This can't be real.
Copy !req
629. This can't be real,
this can't be real.
Copy !req
630. Oh, it's real.
Copy !req
631. Real as I want it to be, Mama.
Copy !req
632. Fuck you, you fucking freak!
Copy !req
633. Well...
Copy !req
634. Let's see if the nut that runs
this place can help us.
Copy !req
635. Take a look at all this crap.
Copy !req
636. I'd red flag anybody
running a joint like this.
Copy !req
637. Sweet baby Jesus.
Copy !req
638. Whoever's jerking off on that bell
better be gone when I come out,
Copy !req
639. or I'm gonna rip your nuts off.
Copy !req
640. Officers, officers,
what can I do for you?
Copy !req
641. I ain't fired up the birds yet
Copy !req
642. if that's what you've been
ring-a-ding-dinging about.
Copy !req
643. I need you to answer some questions
about some missing kids.
Copy !req
644. Oh, I don't know nothin'
about nothin'.
Copy !req
645. I'm the kind of guy that
just minds his own business,
Copy !req
646. if you get what I'm saying.
Copy !req
647. You seen this girl?
Say in the last 24 hours?
Copy !req
648. Yeah, yeah, a cute kid.
Copy !req
649. Ain't my type though.
Copy !req
650. I like 'em with a little
more meat on 'em.
Copy !req
651. The bigger the cushion,
the sweeter the pushin'.
Copy !req
652. Look, clown-ass,
just answer the damn question.
Copy !req
653. We ain't interested
in your love life, all right?
Copy !req
654. Cut the crap, Spaulding
and get with the facts.
Copy !req
655. Huh?
Copy !req
656. What did you see?
Who was she with?
Copy !req
657. - Where was she going?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
658. She was with some stupid kids.
They's nosing around,
Copy !req
659. asking a bunch
of stupid questions.
Copy !req
660. - Questions about what?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
661. This and that. Mostly a bunch
of tired Dr. Satan bullshit.
Copy !req
662. They caught a gander
at the display in the back
Copy !req
663. and they figured
they's gonna run out
Copy !req
664. and solve
the great Deadwood mystery.
Copy !req
665. And how'd they get that idea?
Copy !req
666. I wrote 'em a map.
Copy !req
667. Out to the old farm road.
Copy !req
668. I figured, what the hell?
It wouldn't do no harm.
Copy !req
669. 'Sides, it's good
for my tourist trade.
Copy !req
670. You can shit 10 bricks
for all I care.
Copy !req
671. What else?
Copy !req
672. Nothin'.
Copy !req
673. Stupid-ass kids probably
got themselves
Copy !req
674. turned around ass-backwards
and got theyself lost.
Copy !req
675. Is that all? And I want you
to think real hard.
Copy !req
676. Well,
I don't rightly know.
Copy !req
677. They wasn't here
long enough for me
Copy !req
678. to get up close
and personal with 'em,
Copy !req
679. like I do most assholes
that come wandering in here.
Copy !req
680. How about you write them same
directions out for me then?
Copy !req
681. All right, all right. Don't get all
"True Grit" on my ass.
Copy !req
682. You can knock yourself
silly for all I care.
Copy !req
683. Enough talk!
Write.
Copy !req
684. I don't know where
that skunk ape sleeps.
Copy !req
685. All I know is, that he had
impure relations with my wife.
Copy !req
686. That's true, he performed lurid
acts upon me and my person.
Copy !req
687. Hold up the picture.
Copy !req
688. I'm gonna kill that skunk ape.
Copy !req
689. Please, Tiny.
Please let me go.
Copy !req
690. Let me go.
Help me.
Copy !req
691. Please, God, please.
Copy !req
692. Thank you.
Thank you.
Copy !req
693. I'm just gonna go now.
Copy !req
694. I'm just gonna go home.
Copy !req
695. I'm just gonna go home now.
Copy !req
696. I'm just gonna go home now.
Copy !req
697. I'm just gonna go now.
Copy !req
698. I'm just going home now.
Copy !req
699. Where the fuck do you think
you're getting to?
Copy !req
700. No, no, no...
Copy !req
701. Playtime is over.
Copy !req
702. It matches.
Copy !req
703. Call it in.
Copy !req
704. - I think we found 'em.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
705. Hey, poopie pants.
What's new?
Copy !req
706. Where the fuck is Bill? Where's
Denise? You can't keep us here.
Copy !req
707. Shut up!
Copy !req
708. Wanna play a guessing game?
Copy !req
709. Guess what number I'm thinking of.
Copy !req
710. Eat shit and die.
Copy !req
711. No, wait, please. Come on, stop it.
What do you want from me?
Copy !req
712. - What do you want from...
- Be quiet. I don't wanna slip.
Copy !req
713. Okay, one more.
Copy !req
714. You get this right,
I'll let you go.
Copy !req
715. If you get it wrong,
you are fucked!
Copy !req
716. Who's my favorite movie star?
Copy !req
717. I don't know.
Copy !req
718. Marilyn Monroe.
Copy !req
719. No, Betty Davis.
Sorry, you lose!
Copy !req
720. Ah-hhh!
Copy !req
721. Jesus, somebody
had themselves a field day
Copy !req
722. beating the shit out this thing,
didn't they?
Copy !req
723. Yeah.
Copy !req
724. No mercy shown here.
Copy !req
725. Didn't find any bodies, did ya?
Copy !req
726. - Not yet.
- Holy Christ.
Copy !req
727. What could these kids have done
to bring this much hell down on 'em?
Copy !req
728. - I found something.
- What's that?
Copy !req
729. Keys.
Copy !req
730. Don't stand there like some
prize dog, Dick, open the trunk.
Copy !req
731. - Yes, sir.
- Toss them here.
Copy !req
732. - Oh, Goddamn.
You got something, Georgie?
Copy !req
733. Yeah.
Copy !req
734. We found something.
Copy !req
735. People come, people go,
Copy !req
736. but how many ever stop
to take a look
Copy !req
737. at the underbelly of the beast?
Copy !req
738. I make 'em stop
and I make 'em look.
Copy !req
739. Hope you like what you see.
Copy !req
740. Hope you like what you see!
Copy !req
741. Just hold it a minute, Grandpa.
Copy !req
742. At a time
like this, you're taking pictures?
Copy !req
743. I just couldn't help it.
Copy !req
744. You look so natural
sitting in that box.
Copy !req
745. Put me behind the wheel of that
bitch, I'll show you drivin'.
Copy !req
746. You useless fuck. You couldn't
even get your big ass in that seat.
Copy !req
747. You ungrateful...
Copy !req
748. Don't start with me, Hugo.
Copy !req
749. Get off the damn car,
this ain't your living room.
Copy !req
750. Goddamn grease monkey.
Copy !req
751. You sure this guy is supposed
to ride with us... in this car?
Copy !req
752. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
753. This doesn't seem right to me.
Copy !req
754. It ain't up to us, Chief said pick
him up and take him with us.
Copy !req
755. Guy's an ex-cop,
figures he can be of some help.
Copy !req
756. I just hope he doesn't
get in my way, is all I'm sayin'.
Copy !req
757. This must be him.
Copy !req
758. - Mr. Willis?
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
759. - I'm Wydell, this is Nash.
- How you doin', sir?
Copy !req
760. Donald Willis.
Any leads?
Copy !req
761. We were on our way out
to check on a couple of farms
Copy !req
762. out on the edge of town.
Copy !req
763. That's about our only lead
up to this point.
Copy !req
764. What about this body you found?
Copy !req
765. You know about that?
Copy !req
766. Local girl.
Karen Murphy.
Copy !req
767. One of the cheerleaders
that went missing last week.
Copy !req
768. That's it?
Copy !req
769. We know the kids
were on their way out
Copy !req
770. to a place the locals
call Deadwood.
Copy !req
771. They wanted to play Nancy Drew
with this local legend
Copy !req
772. people call Dr. Satan.
Copy !req
773. - This is insane.
- Don't you worry about it.
Copy !req
774. We'll find her, all right?
Copy !req
775. My name is Lewis Dover
Copy !req
776. and I'm no rich man,
but I know the truth.
Copy !req
777. You don't have to go to hell.
Copy !req
778. You're in hell... this is hell.
Copy !req
779. This is hell.
This is hell.
Copy !req
780. I'm gonna see if anybody's home.
You and Mr. Willis
Copy !req
781. check around,
see if you see anything.
Copy !req
782. Come with me.
Copy !req
783. I hate fucked up families!
Copy !req
784. - It's just a dip.
Otis!
Copy !req
785. Otis, come quick.
There's cops out there.
Copy !req
786. - What? Damn!
- How many?
Copy !req
787. - Don't worry about it.
- I don't know. I only saw one.
Copy !req
788. Fucking pigs always travel in packs.
Copy !req
789. - Take this.
- What should I do?
Copy !req
790. Go downstairs and play nice.
Copy !req
791. I'll go round back and take control
like I always fucking do.
Copy !req
792. Goddamn.
Copy !req
793. These packrats throw anything away?
Copy !req
794. - I don't think so.
- Hold this thing.
Copy !req
795. Hello? Hello?
Copy !req
796. You'd think these son of bitches
would have a yard sale, don't you?
Copy !req
797. Yeah.
Copy !req
798. Hello?
Copy !req
799. Oh my God!
Copy !req
800. - Oh my God!
- Calm down, Barney!
Copy !req
801. Don't even start
with that "Mayberry" shit.
Copy !req
802. It's only a dog.
Copy !req
803. I was bit by a cocker spaniel
when I was eight years old.
Copy !req
804. - Hello, Officer.
- Good afternoon, ma'am.
Copy !req
805. I'm Lieutenant Wydell. I'd like
to ask you a few questions.
Copy !req
806. Why, heck, I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.
Copy !req
807. I appreciate the cooperation, ma'am.
Copy !req
808. I'm looking for a missing girl.
Copy !req
809. I'm serious. It was a big
cocker spaniel... big teeth.
Copy !req
810. It was my ex-girlfriend's.
Almost bit off my pinky toe.
Copy !req
811. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
812. Shh, you hear that?
Copy !req
813. Yeah.
Copy !req
814. Yeah, I hear it. Where do
you think it's coming from?
Copy !req
815. Out this way.
Copy !req
816. All right, hold on,
hold on one second here.
Copy !req
817. Hey, hey!
Copy !req
818. Sheriff's Department, open up.
Copy !req
819. - No, I ain't seen her, sorry.
- Ma'am...
Copy !req
820. If I could just
come in for a minute.
Copy !req
821. I have some other pictures
I'd like you to look at.
Copy !req
822. It might stir something up.
Copy !req
823. No. I don't think so.
Copy !req
824. Ma'am.
Copy !req
825. It'll only take a minute.
Copy !req
826. Oh, all right.
Copy !req
827. I guess I can trust you,
Copy !req
828. being a man of the law.
Copy !req
829. Yes, ma'am.
Copy !req
830. Thank you, ma'am.
Copy !req
831. Oh, this one looks familiar.
Is he on the TV?
Copy !req
832. No, ma'am,
I don't believe he is.
Copy !req
833. - Wydell?
- Excuse me, ma'am.
Copy !req
834. - Wydell, over! Wydell, over!
- Wydell, over.
Copy !req
835. Let me take a guess here.
Y'all havin' a Halloween Party.
Copy !req
836. What makes you think that,
big boy?
Copy !req
837. You sure are buying a whole mess
of holy water for two people.
Copy !req
838. We like to get fucked up
and do fucked up shit.
Copy !req
839. - You know what I mean?
- I like to get fucked up too.
Copy !req
840. - Do some fucked up shit.
- Yeah, I bet you do.
Copy !req
841. How much we owe ya, goober?
Copy !req
842. Actually it's G. Ober,
for Gerry Ober,
Copy !req
843. but the new guy, Romald in the back,
he drew in that other O
Copy !req
844. and made Goober.
Fucking asshole.
Copy !req
845. Great story, Goober.
How much we owe ya?
Copy !req
846. The damage is quite severe.
Copy !req
847. - $185.
- That ain't gonna break my bank.
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848. Here, keep the change and go
get yourself a new name, Goober.
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849. Holy dog, I will, thank you.
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850. You all drive safe. Thanks for
comin' in to Red Hot Pussy Liquor.
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851. Where's Otis? Where's Otis?
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852. He's comin'. He's got
something real special this year.
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853. Otis, Otis, Otis...
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854. I'm the one who brings
the Christmas candy.
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855. Now tell me,
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856. who's your daddy?
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857. I'm the one who brings
the devil's brandy.
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858. Who's your daddy?
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859. I'm the one who beats you
when you're bad.
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860. - Who's your Daddy?
- Who's your Daddy?
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861. Come on, sweetie,
give the old man some sugar.
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862. Daddy, Daddy.
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863. And I'm the one who loves ya
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864. when you're fucking dead.
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865. Who's your Daddy?
Who's your Daddy?
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866. Well, I say my little darlings.
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867. Maybe it ain't a good idea to be
prancing around
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868. where you don't belong.
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869. And you,
the great rusher of fools,
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870. what was it that you were after?
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871. Come on, speak to me, boy.
I remember now.
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872. Dr. Satan.
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873. Goddamn it, everybody
got to know about Dr. Satan.
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874. You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna do you a favor.
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875. I'm gonna let you
meet the old bastard.
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876. It's all true.
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877. The bogeyman is real
and you found him.
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878. And you found him...
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879. Hey, happy boy,
step your ass up here.
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880. Take his gag out.
It's more fun with the screaming.
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881. I like that too. That screaming
is much more exciting that way.
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882. Please don't kill us,
please don't kill us.
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883. Please don't kill us...
nah... please don't kill us.
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884. Shut your mouth
and get your shit in the box.
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885. - Get in now.
Wait, wait, wait...
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886. I wanna say goodbye.
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887. Goodbye, sweetie.
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888. We could've been great.
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889. Just let us go, I swear to God
we won't tell anyone.
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890. - I swear...
- Honey, you know I can't do that.
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891. I swear to God,
we won't tell. I swear to God.
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892. Ain't we just having a fucking hoot?
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893. Get your fucking ass up, boy.
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894. Come on, we ain't got all night.
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895. Where does she think
she's gonna run to?
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896. - She gonna run all the way home?
- No, let me get her.
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897. All right, go get her.
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898. Huntin' humans,
ain't nothin' but nothin'.
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899. They all run like
scared little rabbits.
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900. Run, rabbit, run.
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901. Run, rabbit.
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902. Run, rabbit. Run, rabbit.
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903. Run, rabbit, run!
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904. Run, rabbit!
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905. There once was a woman
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906. who lived with her daughter
in a cabbage garden.
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907. Along came a rabbit
and ate up all the cabbages.
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908. The woman said, "Go into the garden
and drive out the rabbit. "
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909. Mary.
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910. Told you.
I'm gonna get you.
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911. Mary.
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912. Mary...
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913. I'm gonna get you.
I'm coming to get you.
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914. "Shoo, shoo," said the maiden.
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915. "Come, maiden," said the rabbit.
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916. "Sit on my tail and go with me
to my rabbit hutch."
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917. No-ooo, no!
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918. No hanky-panky.
Rufus, put the lid on.
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919. No-ooo!
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920. No-ooo!
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921. Oh, no!
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922. No!
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923. No, no, no!
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924. Stop! No!
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925. No!
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926. No-ooo!
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927. No, no-ooo!
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928. Bury me in a nameless grave.
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929. Bury me in a nameless grave.
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930. Jerry, wake up, wake...
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931. Jerry, wake up, wake up, wake up.
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932. Bury me in a nameless grave.
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933. Bury me in a nameless grave.
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934. Oh my God!
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935. No-ooo!
- Jerry!
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936. No, Jerry!
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937. Please! Help!
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938. Help me!
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939. I can't see anything!
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940. Jerry? Is that you?
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941. Jerry?
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942. Jerry? Thank God.
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943. Please help me.
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944. God!
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945. Jerry?
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946. Oh, God, no, no, no...
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947. No!
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948. No-ooo!
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949. No!
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950. God, no, no.
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951. No, no!
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952. No-ooo!
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953. Go away!
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954. Go away!
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955. Sweet baby Jesus, girl.
What the hell happened to you?
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956. I got away.
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957. I recognize you.
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958. There's a whole bunch of people
been looking for your ass.
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959. - I gotta get to a doctor.
- All right, all right.
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960. Just sit back and relax.
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961. I'll get you to a doctor.
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962. Come on... that's it,
that's it.
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963. I'll get you there,
yeah, yeah.
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964. Oh, yeah!
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965. © MOSTOFA K@MAL™
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