1. Hi. I'm Grover Beindorf.Copy !req
2. I'm 14 years old.Copy !req
3. I live in Defiance, Ohio,Copy !req
4. which is somewhere between
Toledo and Hicksville.Copy !req
5. It's a nice town,
but pretty average, I guess.Copy !req
6. To tell you the truth,
that's how I was, too,Copy !req
7. that is, until last April,
when everything happened.Copy !req
8. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
9. Now, if you're going
to blame someone,Copy !req
10. you should blame me.Copy !req
11. But things just didn't
happen like they were
supposed to.Copy !req
12. It's like everything
snowballed on me.Copy !req
13. I'm getting
ahead of my story.Copy !req
14. Let's start at the beginning,
when Mom and Dad got married.Copy !req
15. So. Uh...Copy !req
16. What did you think?Copy !req
17. It's excellent.Copy !req
18. Except the song.Copy !req
19. Stacy, it's their song.Copy !req
20. I still think it sucks.Copy !req
21. Jeez, Groves, your parents
have been married 18 years?Copy !req
22. That's got to be
some kind of record.Copy !req
23. Teddy, Jimmy,
you're going to
be late for school.Copy !req
24. Don't think it's gonna work. Yeah, it will.Copy !req
25. Hi, Louise. Hi, kids.Copy !req
26. Hi, Mrs. Finley.Copy !req
27. Will you get dressed?Copy !req
28. You can't make us.Copy !req
29. Yeah,
you're not our real mom.Copy !req
30. Bull's-eye! Awesome!Copy !req
31. That's how I know
there's a God.Copy !req
32. Louise!Copy !req
33. I'm coming!Copy !req
34. Would you just get
the bomb squad dressed?Copy !req
35. Shut up!Copy !req
36. I don't owe you
any more alimony!Copy !req
37. What are you talking about?Copy !req
38. Louise! Coming!Copy !req
39. Don't look!Copy !req
40. What?Copy !req
41. Cosmo.Copy !req
42. Shut up!Copy !req
43. What do you mean,
child support?Copy !req
44. Why would I owe you
child support?Copy !req
45. I've got the kids!Copy !req
46. Wife Number two.Copy !req
47. Thanks.Copy !req
48. Come on, Stacy,
hurry up!Copy !req
49. Wait up.Copy !req
50. Morning!Copy !req
51. Not bad, huh?Copy !req
52. How's it going? Okay.Copy !req
53. Coming up on the rear.No fair.Copy !req
54. Passing on the right. Wait up!Copy !req
55. By a nose!Copy !req
56. No fair, you're cheating!Copy !req
57. Come on, Stace!Copy !req
58. Anybody home?Copy !req
59. We're in here.Copy !req
60. Here, Fuzzy.Copy !req
61. Morning. Morning.Copy !req
62. Where did you go so early? To Matt's.Copy !req
63. Did you get our note?Copy !req
64. Yes, thank you.Copy !req
65. You are the note queen.Copy !req
66. Yes, I am,
and here's another one.Copy !req
67. Today's my
Thursday staff meeting.Copy !req
68. I'm going to be late.Copy !req
69. There's lasagna
in the freezer.Copy !req
70. Put it in at 5:00
at 350, no higher.Copy !req
71. At 350, no higher.Copy !req
72. Smarty,
I'll be home to take it out.Copy !req
73. So,
why were you at Matt's?Copy !req
74. He was just helping
us with something.Copy !req
75. What?Copy !req
76. Happy anniversary!Copy !req
77. Happy anniversary.Copy !req
78. Unwrap it.Copy !req
79. It's for both of you.
Do it together.Copy !req
80. We call it
"The Best of the Beindorfs."Copy !req
81. The best part's
when I'm born.Copy !req
82. Did I say something wrong?Copy !req
83. No, honey,
why don't we watch it later,
after work...Copy !req
84. Listen, kids,Copy !req
85. Daddy and I have something
we need to talk to you about.Copy !req
86. Janet.Copy !req
87. Here you go.Copy !req
88. It's Mystery Meat Day.Copy !req
89. Grover Beindorf
just can't get enough.Copy !req
90. Say something, Grove.Copy !req
91. Turn it off, Matt.Copy !req
92. Oh, baby,
come to Papa.Copy !req
93. Next.Copy !req
94. I'm paying for both.Copy !req
95. You're a quarter short.Copy !req
96. It's all I've got.Copy !req
97. Move out of the line,
and put something back.Copy !req
98. Here.Copy !req
99. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
100. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
101. Go sit with her.Copy !req
102. I can't breathe.Copy !req
103. Why not? You just loaned
Brooke Figler lunch.Copy !req
104. She's got to be nice to you.Copy !req
105. She doesn't know...Copy !req
106. Man. Nasty.Copy !req
107. I'm sorry.Copy !req
108. Where are you going, Finley?Copy !req
109. Just chill, man.Copy !req
110. What did you say, Barndoor?Copy !req
111. I didn't hear you.Copy !req
112. I said, "I'm sorry."Copy !req
113. Good. Now tell me
that you're a skinny,
ugly little wussy.Copy !req
114. Go, T.J.Copy !req
115. I'm a skinny,
ugly little wussy.Copy !req
116. No shit.Copy !req
117. Looks good on you, Beindorf.Copy !req
118. Later.Copy !req
119. Way to go, Beindorf!Copy !req
120. You geek!Copy !req
121. Loser!Copy !req
122. Remember when Krupp
pulled down your gym shorts?Copy !req
123. Or when he flunked
sixth grade and saidCopy !req
124. he was gonna beat
up all fifth gradersCopy !req
125. but he only beat up you?Copy !req
126. Or in fourth
grade when he smeared
dog crap all over your backCopy !req
127. and called you "Turd Boy"...Copy !req
128. Matt, shut up, okay?Copy !req
129. I'm sorry.Copy !req
130. My parents are
getting separated.Copy !req
131. Really?Copy !req
132. Groves, I'm sorry.
Did they say why?Copy !req
133. Not really.Copy !req
134. I don't mean to scare you,
but that's usually
a bad sign.Copy !req
135. It means there's a lot wrong.Copy !req
136. Who's moving out,
your mom or dad?Copy !req
137. My dad.Copy !req
138. Also bad.Copy !req
139. If your mom's moving out,
it's usually just temporary.Copy !req
140. Check out his suitcases.Copy !req
141. If most of them are packed,
you're really in trouble.Copy !req
142. What do you mean?Copy !req
143. Divorce.Copy !req
144. No. They're not
getting a divorce.Copy !req
145. They said it was
only a separation.Copy !req
146. Divorce isn't even
up for consideration.Copy !req
147. Groves,
I hate to break it to you,Copy !req
148. but that's what
they always say.Copy !req
149. First it's separation,
then it's divorce.Copy !req
150. If I were you,Copy !req
151. I'd lock them in a closet
until they worked
everything out.Copy !req
152. But look on the bright side.Copy !req
153. From now on,
you get twice the giftsCopy !req
154. on your birthday
and Christmas.Copy !req
155. I'm kidding.Copy !req
156. Hey.Copy !req
157. Hi.Copy !req
158. How's it going?Copy !req
159. Bad.Copy !req
160. Same here.Copy !req
161. What can we do about it?Copy !req
162. I don't know.Copy !req
163. Have you been down
in the basement again?Copy !req
164. I think there's
mice down there.Copy !req
165. Come on.Copy !req
166. Watch your step.Copy !req
167. Stacy,
I can't see, honey. One, two, three!Copy !req
168. Surprise!Copy !req
169. Wow.Copy !req
170. Oh, my.Copy !req
171. Do you like it?Copy !req
172. What's all this?Copy !req
173. Your anniversary party.Copy !req
174. When did you kids
do all this?Copy !req
175. When we got
home from school.Copy !req
176. What do you think?Copy !req
177. Grover!Copy !req
178. Honey, you know
the rules about this.Copy !req
179. You're not
supposed to touch it.Copy !req
180. It's only for
a very special occasion.Copy !req
181. You guys are
getting separated.Copy !req
182. What could be more
special than that?Copy !req
183. Good cake.Copy !req
184. Thanks. Thanks.Copy !req
185. And you've made the basement
look very festive.Copy !req
186. We wanted to remind you
of your honeymoon in Hawaii.Copy !req
187. There's the lanai
you stayed in.Copy !req
188. I made it.Copy !req
189. And, uh, Dad,
we even found
your old ukulele.Copy !req
190. Oh, my God,
where did you find this?Copy !req
191. It was stuck
behind the workbench.Copy !req
192. Why don't you play something?Copy !req
193. Yeah.Copy !req
194. Uh, no, that's
probably not a good idea.Copy !req
195. Listen, kids,
I'm not sure you understood.Copy !req
196. We did.Copy !req
197. You guys are
getting separated.Copy !req
198. What we don't
understand is why.Copy !req
199. Grover...Copy !req
200. Are you two having affairs?Copy !req
201. No.Copy !req
202. Oh, no. Kids...Copy !req
203. It's like we said
this morning,Copy !req
204. Daddy and I are
just having someCopy !req
205. difficulties,
and we feel likeCopy !req
206. we need some time apart.
That's all.Copy !req
207. Maybe you should
get counseling.Copy !req
208. No, honey, actually,
we don't need counseling.Copy !req
209. The truth is,
no one ever really
needs counseling.Copy !req
210. We just need time apart
from each other.Copy !req
211. No, you don't. Grover.Copy !req
212. You guys spend
enough time apart.Copy !req
213. Maybe you need
some time together.Copy !req
214. That's enough, son.Copy !req
215. You guys used to
get along just fine.Copy !req
216. I remember when you couldn't
keep your hands
off each other.Copy !req
217. Grover,
let's just stop this, okay?Copy !req
218. Ned, don't yell at him.Copy !req
219. I'm not yelling,
I'm trying to get
some control here.Copy !req
220. You don't get control
by yelling at people.Copy !req
221. I'm sorry,
is there a list of waysCopy !req
222. to get control that
you've made for us?Copy !req
223. Things I'm doing, not doing,
should've done?Copy !req
224. Not doing? Yes.Copy !req
225. Okay,
the Beindorf family room.Copy !req
226. What about it?Copy !req
227. Well, supposed to have
an entertainment area,Copy !req
228. and a room for pool
and maybe an extra bedroom.Copy !req
229. It's been 14 years,
you haven't
finished the bathroom.Copy !req
230. I've been working
14 years, Janet,
trying to afford the house.Copy !req
231. And what's my job?Copy !req
232. Is it a hobby?Copy !req
233. Excuse me, kids.
Great job on the party.Copy !req
234. Wait. Dad, you can't leave.Copy !req
235. I mean, um,Copy !req
236. the party's not over.Copy !req
237. Yeah, um,
you've got to watch the tape.Copy !req
238. You promised you'd watch it.
Come on.Copy !req
239. It's really not very long.Copy !req
240. Plus, we have
one more surprise.Copy !req
241. Oh, Grover.Copy !req
242. Please take the champagne
back upstairsCopy !req
243. and put it back
where you found it.Copy !req
244. Thank you.Copy !req
245. Label out.Copy !req
246. What has gotten
into these kids?Copy !req
247. Why did you argue
in front of the children?Copy !req
248. One thing the book said is,
"Don't argue in
front of the children."Copy !req
249. Did it also mention
that I would
always be at fault?Copy !req
250. What?Copy !req
251. Keep your voice down.Copy !req
252. I think they know
there's something
wrong here, Janet.Copy !req
253. Can't you just be quiet?Copy !req
254. What is that? I don't know.Copy !req
255. Grover,
what are you doing up there?Copy !req
256. I'm nailing
the door shut.Copy !req
257. There you go,
he's nailing the door shut.Copy !req
258. It drives me...Copy !req
259. What?Copy !req
260. You guys are gonna stay
down there a while.Copy !req
261. He's really doing it.Copy !req
262. He's nailing the door shut.Copy !req
263. Grover, stop it right now.Copy !req
264. What you're doing is
very bad for the wood.Copy !req
265. We'll pay for the wood.Copy !req
266. We'll be back in the morning
and see if you
worked anything out.Copy !req
267. They got my tools.Copy !req
268. And the phone's gone, too.Copy !req
269. Oh, my God!Copy !req
270. Boarded up the windows?Copy !req
271. We boarded them up
and put cement in the basins.Copy !req
272. I used the cement
that's been sitting in
the garage for three years.Copy !req
273. And if you yell for help,
no one will hear you.Copy !req
274. Besides,
the Bagleys are on vacation.Copy !req
275. You two are in
very serious trouble!
Do you hear me?Copy !req
276. Very serious trouble!Copy !req
277. As a matter of fact,
starting now,
you're both grounded.Copy !req
278. No offense, guys,Copy !req
279. but I think you are.Copy !req
280. Grover! Stacy!Copy !req
281. Good night.Copy !req
282. Grover!Copy !req
283. Will they be ready
by tomorrow morning?Copy !req
284. I don't know, I hope so.Copy !req
285. What do you think
they're going to do tonight?Copy !req
286. Try to escape.Copy !req
287. Morning.Copy !req
288. Morning.Copy !req
289. Morning.Copy !req
290. Good morning.Copy !req
291. You guys ready to come out?Copy !req
292. Yes, honey.Copy !req
293. We talked through
most of our problems
last nightCopy !req
294. and we think
we've solved them.Copy !req
295. Yes, all of them, in fact.Copy !req
296. This was a good idea.Copy !req
297. Yes, we're fine.
Really, we're fine now.Copy !req
298. Dad, is that true?Copy !req
299. Yeah,
I can't believe it, but...Copy !req
300. It worked.Copy !req
301. Yeah, you should see us. Really?Copy !req
302. Yes.Copy !req
303. Swear to God? Swear to God.Copy !req
304. Come on, we're fine now.
We're really happy.Copy !req
305. You should see us.Copy !req
306. So, um,
what did you guys talk about?Copy !req
307. Uh, everything.
What didn't we talk about?Copy !req
308. I need to be
home more often.Copy !req
309. And I need to be
less controllingCopy !req
310. and organized.Copy !req
311. And critical,
and I need to finish
things that I start.Copy !req
312. I'm actually
not very critical.
You're critical.Copy !req
313. Of the two of us, I'd say... No, you're critical.Copy !req
314. When am I critical? You hate my hair.Copy !req
315. I love the claw.
I just can't touch it.Copy !req
316. Doesn't make me critical.Copy !req
317. It's not nice of youCopy !req
318. to criticize the one thing
that I'm very
sensitive about.Copy !req
319. No. Wait!
Stop! What are you doing?Copy !req
320. You guys lied.
You're not better at all.Copy !req
321. Grover, let Mommy and...Copy !req
322. Come on!Copy !req
323. Let us out, damn it!Copy !req
324. I got it!Copy !req
325. This is not funny!Copy !req
326. Wait! What about this?Copy !req
327. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on!Copy !req
328. Why did you argue?Copy !req
329. Why did you have to
say I was critical?Copy !req
330. Because you are.Copy !req
331. Grover, are you on drugs?Copy !req
332. Yeah, I'm on heroin,
and Stacy's on crack.Copy !req
333. Happy now?Copy !req
334. Oh, he's kidding.Copy !req
335. You'd better be joking!Copy !req
336. Do you hear me?
Gregory Alan Beindorf,
do you hear me?Copy !req
337. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
338. You guys are splitting up,
that's what's wrong with me.Copy !req
339. Now get down there,
and start
solving your problems.Copy !req
340. Not critical?Copy !req
341. Hi, Mr. Mitchell?Copy !req
342. Um, yeah, okay.Copy !req
343. Um, my dad can't
come to work today.Copy !req
344. He's barfing up
all over the place.Copy !req
345. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
346. Breakfast. Lunch.Copy !req
347. Hurry up.Copy !req
348. You can't tell
any of your friends
at school.Copy !req
349. I won't.Copy !req
350. Hey, you Beindorfs.Copy !req
351. Where are your folks?Copy !req
352. They're late for work.Copy !req
353. Good morning, Chief Rocco.Copy !req
354. They got the bug
that's going around.Copy !req
355. I didn't know there was one.Copy !req
356. Uh, yeah, it's really bad.Copy !req
357. Especially for old people.Copy !req
358. What?Copy !req
359. Shut up.Copy !req
360. Grover.Copy !req
361. Grover.Copy !req
362. What's wrong?Copy !req
363. Nothing.Copy !req
364. Yeah, there is.
You've been acting
weird all day.Copy !req
365. Listen,
if you're still freakedCopy !req
366. about your parents,
you can tell me.Copy !req
367. I've been through it.Copy !req
368. Not through this.Copy !req
369. What do you mean?Copy !req
370. Promise not to tell.Copy !req
371. Of course.Copy !req
372. Okay.Copy !req
373. Do you remember yesterday
when you saidCopy !req
374. that I should lock my parents
in a closet?Copy !req
375. Yeah.Copy !req
376. Well, I did,Copy !req
377. but not in the closet.Copy !req
378. I locked them
in the basement.Copy !req
379. But I didn't
really lock them in.Copy !req
380. I nailed the door shut.Copy !req
381. And I told them
I wasn't gonna let them outCopy !req
382. until they talked out
their problems.Copy !req
383. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
384. No.Copy !req
385. Yeah, you are.
You're yanking my chain.Copy !req
386. Matt, Matt, I swear. I swear.Copy !req
387. It's like
something came over me.Copy !req
388. I had to do it.Copy !req
389. Where are they now?Copy !req
390. They're still down there.Copy !req
391. You kidnapped your parents?Copy !req
392. I am impressed, Barndoor.Copy !req
393. Who would have thought
that a wussy like youCopy !req
394. could pull off
something like that?Copy !req
395. Please,
tell me you're kidding.Copy !req
396. Come on, faster, faster.Copy !req
397. Anybody home?Copy !req
398. What is it?
One of them?
Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
399. Got it. Give it here.Copy !req
400. Oh, please.Copy !req
401. Who's out there?Copy !req
402. I don't know.
Let me see.Copy !req
403. Give me whatever it is
you're using to do that.Copy !req
404. Come in here
and get it, son.Copy !req
405. Hi, Mr. Beindorf.Copy !req
406. Move!Copy !req
407. Hi, Matt.Copy !req
408. Hi, Mrs. Beindorf.
How are you?Copy !req
409. How do you think
we are, Matty-boy?Copy !req
410. Don't yell at him.
He could help us.Copy !req
411. Maybe I should ask
if he likes cake.Copy !req
412. Do you like cake, Matt, huh?Copy !req
413. No.No, that's mine!Copy !req
414. I'm trying to get
their attention.Copy !req
415. I'm in the Twilight Zone.Copy !req
416. Matt.Copy !req
417. You know you were
always my favorite
of Grover's friends.Copy !req
418. I don't know
where he got
this stupid idea,Copy !req
419. but do you think
you could talk him out of it?Copy !req
420. What do you want? Thank you.Copy !req
421. Phone.
Somebody's on the phone!Copy !req
422. No, she's not here right now.Copy !req
423. Ralph Doyle? Got it.Copy !req
424. Hello! We're locked
in the basement! Help!Copy !req
425. The noise?
Yeah, it's the TV.Copy !req
426. Bye.Copy !req
427. How come you can
tell your friends,
but I can't tell mine?Copy !req
428. Hey, everybody.Copy !req
429. Oh, no.Copy !req
430. What is that?I don't know.Copy !req
431. Hello? Is someone else there?Copy !req
432. Is someone else there?Copy !req
433. Excuse me,
hey, who are you?Copy !req
434. Hello, who, who are you?
Excuse me.Copy !req
435. I'm your new security guard.Copy !req
436. Oh, my God.Copy !req
437. This door's gotta go.Copy !req
438. Folks,Copy !req
439. you're looking at
"The Enforcer 2000."Copy !req
440. It's the best security door
that money can buy.Copy !req
441. Now, there's no need
to thank me.Copy !req
442. It's my gift to you.Copy !req
443. Since you're my favorite
new customers,Copy !req
444. here's a little bonus gift.Copy !req
445. A shiny new pair
of jumper cables,Copy !req
446. which just so happen
to be connected to two,
count them, twoCopy !req
447. 12-volt car batteries
in my backpack.Copy !req
448. That's why you're going
to hand over the knife,
Mr. Beindorf.Copy !req
449. What are you talking about?Copy !req
450. Let's just say
that this tomato here
is you. Gentlemen, please.Copy !req
451. Here you go.Copy !req
452. Well, he wouldn't
use that on us.Copy !req
453. No, of course not.Copy !req
454. So let's go.Copy !req
455. After you, hon.Copy !req
456. Give it to me, Mr. Beindorf.Copy !req
457. Of course.Copy !req
458. Now give me whatever
Mrs. Beindorf
was digging with.Copy !req
459. That was mine.Copy !req
460. He was using
this piece of chair.Copy !req
461. Give it to me, Mr. Beindorf.Copy !req
462. And give me
the rest of the chair, too.Copy !req
463. T.J.: Good.Copy !req
464. Why don't you just
tell him everything?Copy !req
465. Maybe he'd like
my social security number.Copy !req
466. I'm surprised
you're not out there
helping them.Copy !req
467. If you were,
they'd never finish.Copy !req
468. Thanks, big guy.Copy !req
469. Okay, we're all done.Copy !req
470. Good.Copy !req
471. Catch you later.Copy !req
472. Who is this guy?Copy !req
473. Remember,
this hurts us more
than it hurts you.Copy !req
474. You want a ride?Copy !req
475. Yeah, that would be good.Copy !req
476. Groves,
I've got a way to keep an eye
your parents.Copy !req
477. You can use
my video equipmentCopy !req
478. hooked to the cable
on the basement TV.Copy !req
479. No.Copy !req
480. Well, hey, hey, man, you gotta
disconnect your doorbell.Copy !req
481. Otherwise your parents'll know
when somebody rings.Copy !req
482. You can use my
Christmas lights... No.Copy !req
483. Wait a second.Copy !req
484. I don't get it.
Why are you helping me?Copy !req
485. It's like I told you.Copy !req
486. I think what you're doing
is a good idea.Copy !req
487. No.
But you hate me, remember?Copy !req
488. You've always hated me.Copy !req
489. That's before
I respected you.Copy !req
490. Okay, buddy?Copy !req
491. Later.Copy !req
492. Man, I still think
I had a good idea.Copy !req
493. Yeah, well, uh,
I got a better one.Copy !req
494. Hello, Dad.
Hi, Mrs. Burtis.Copy !req
495. Changing your will again?Copy !req
496. I think I better be going.Copy !req
497. Bye, Mrs. Burtis.Copy !req
498. Bye. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
499. Say hi to your
husband for me.I will.Copy !req
500. What class did you say
this was for, T.J.?Copy !req
501. Sociology, Mom.Copy !req
502. It's a trust experiment.Copy !req
503. Sociology?
This is kind of fun.Copy !req
504. You know,
they used to take us
on wheelchairs, and...Copy !req
505. Hang on, Dad.Copy !req
506. Experiment complete.Copy !req
507. Except one thing.Copy !req
508. We don't take Sociology.Copy !req
509. You guys should
pay more attention.Copy !req
510. Wait a second.
What are you doing?Copy !req
511. They can't go down there.Copy !req
512. Yes, they can.
I paid for the door.Copy !req
513. Now, open it.Copy !req
514. I can't hold
them much longer.Copy !req
515. Hurry! Hurry!Copy !req
516. Open the door!Copy !req
517. I'll get it!Copy !req
518. Come on! Hurry up!Copy !req
519. This way, everybody!Copy !req
520. Push them in!Copy !req
521. Thank you.Copy !req
522. What is going on?Copy !req
523. I don't know!Copy !req
524. Who are these people?Copy !req
525. Grover!Copy !req
526. No, wait a second!
They can't stay here!Copy !req
527. Look,
it took over three hours
getting them here.Copy !req
528. We ain't taking them back!Copy !req
529. No. Stop!
You can't do this!Copy !req
530. Listen, dude,
your parents aren'tCopy !req
531. the only ones
with problems, okay?Copy !req
532. My dad treats Mom like dirt.Copy !req
533. My dad's coming up
on his second year
with Louise.Copy !req
534. So what?Copy !req
535. So he always gets divorced
on his second year.
You know that.Copy !req
536. It's like clockwork.
Come on, Groves.Copy !req
537. We'll do some
massive group therapy
on them. It'll be fun.Copy !req
538. Teddy. Stop it.Copy !req
539. What are they doing here?Copy !req
540. Well, I couldn't
leave them at home.Copy !req
541. Here you go, Matt.Copy !req
542. You're such a good doggy.Copy !req
543. You brought Cosmo?Copy !req
544. Well, T.J. brought Spot.Copy !req
545. Say hi, Spot.Copy !req
546. A snake?Copy !req
547. A boa constrictor.Copy !req
548. Cool.Copy !req
549. Where do you want
the sleeping bag?Copy !req
550. What is all this?Copy !req
551. Dude, our parents could be
down there for months.Copy !req
552. Make way.Copy !req
553. Somebody had to
have seen you guys.Copy !req
554. Nobody saw us, all right?
Trust me.Copy !req
555. I can't see.Copy !req
556. Get off of my leg. Get off.Copy !req
557. I've got business to do.Copy !req
558. Get away.Copy !req
559. People, if we could just...Copy !req
560. Hello!Copy !req
561. Go ahead.Copy !req
562. You don't understand.
We've been trying
this for a little while.Copy !req
563. They don't listen.Copy !req
564. Maybe you could
come downstairs,
be a little more comfortable.Copy !req
565. It could be a while.Copy !req
566. Wait a minute.Copy !req
567. You mean we're
going to be lockedCopy !req
568. in a basement
for a long time?Copy !req
569. That's some kind
of joke, right?Copy !req
570. I don't know,
I read an article
about some peopleCopy !req
571. who were locked
in a basement.Copy !req
572. The neighbor
came and found them,
hanged to death.Copy !req
573. Jimmy!Copy !req
574. Hello. Sorry.Copy !req
575. Jimmy,
what are you doing?Copy !req
576. Get those things outside.Copy !req
577. Incoming!Copy !req
578. What are you guys doing?Copy !req
579. No rules, man! Boogie down!Copy !req
580. We'll punish
the parents tomorrow.Copy !req
581. I don't want
to punish them, okay.Copy !req
582. I want to help them!Copy !req
583. Cosmo!Copy !req
584. Grover, honey!Copy !req
585. Hi.Copy !req
586. Grover, listen, uh,
your mother
and my problems aside,Copy !req
587. this is completely
out of hand now.Copy !req
588. I know.Copy !req
589. What do I do?Copy !req
590. What do you do? It's very simple.Copy !req
591. All you have to do
is let us out.Copy !req
592. You listen to me,
sonny boy.Copy !req
593. The second that
I get out of here,
I'm having you arrested.Copy !req
594. That's right. Yeah.
This is unlawful restraint.Copy !req
595. Now, that's a felony.Copy !req
596. Honey. Come here!Copy !req
597. I'm going to have
you arrested, too.Copy !req
598. Oh, sweetheart.
Here, darling, take this.Copy !req
599. You know?Copy !req
600. What is it with you people?Copy !req
601. Have you ever
heard of dusting?Copy !req
602. Here.Copy !req
603. Donald's allergic to mold.Copy !req
604. Honey, if anything,
the house is spotless.Copy !req
605. So, when you're frightened,
just do like my book says,Copy !req
606. "Feel the fear,
and go for it."Copy !req
607. That's right.
"Feel the fear,
and go for it."Copy !req
608. Sorry about last night.Copy !req
609. I just wanted
to have some fun.Copy !req
610. Fun time is over, Stace.Copy !req
611. Why, are you
letting them out?Copy !req
612. How can I? I'm a felon.Copy !req
613. I'm gonna do what
we started out to do,Copy !req
614. get Mom and Dad
back together.Copy !req
615. They need our help,
so we're gonna help them.Copy !req
616. How? I don't know yet.
I need time to think.Copy !req
617. What about the other parents?Copy !req
618. Stacy,
they're not our problem.Copy !req
619. Okay, make sure
everybody gets
some breakfast.Copy !req
620. And don't let T.J.
out of your sight.Copy !req
621. Good morning.Copy !req
622. Lovely day.Copy !req
623. Lots of marshmallows.Copy !req
624. More marshmallows.Copy !req
625. All right.Copy !req
626. What are these?Copy !req
627. Crunch-berry burgers.Copy !req
628. Delicious.Copy !req
629. Excuse me.Copy !req
630. If we could gather around?Copy !req
631. Ned and I just want
to tell youCopy !req
632. how embarrassed
we are and sorry,Copy !req
633. and really hope
we're going to get out soon.Copy !req
634. But until we do,
I just thought maybe
it would be a good ideaCopy !req
635. if we laid some ground rulesCopy !req
636. so that we all
just got along better.Copy !req
637. First of all,
if you have any questions,
please don't...Copy !req
638. Um, I do. Listen.Copy !req
639. You could, uh,
you could actually...Copy !req
640. I need some help
with something.Copy !req
641. You don't happen
to have a cigarette,
do you?Copy !req
642. No.Copy !req
643. No, in fact,
we don't allow smoking
in the house.Copy !req
644. Oh, well,
I guess I'll just go outside.Copy !req
645. What a charming... Secondly,Copy !req
646. we are down here,
so we might as well
make the best of it, and...Copy !req
647. Just like that,
just make the best of it?Copy !req
648. Did you hear that, Gwen?Copy !req
649. T.J. did say something
about sleeping bags,Copy !req
650. in case we have to stay...Copy !req
651. Listen, honey.
We don't need sleeping bagsCopy !req
652. because we're not
staying another night
in this godforsaken...Copy !req
653. Oh, sweetheart.Copy !req
654. Oh, my God,
give me the roll.Copy !req
655. So, Ned,
how long have you been
remodeling down here?Copy !req
656. Um, well, I...Copy !req
657. About 14 years!Copy !req
658. Well, takes time.Copy !req
659. So, is your bathroom
still working?Copy !req
660. Yes. Toilet, sink,
it all works.Copy !req
661. Louise? Yes.Copy !req
662. Would you run interference
for me, please?Copy !req
663. I'm not being punished
because your marriage
is falling apart, buddy.Copy !req
664. I'm holding you
personally responsible
for this.Copy !req
665. Sounds like some
sort of threat.Copy !req
666. Well, is that what you think?Copy !req
667. Dad,
can you come up here
for a second?Copy !req
668. Go ahead, wussy.Copy !req
669. Yes, what is it?Copy !req
670. Mr. Mitchell just called.Copy !req
671. He wants you
to be at the airport
in one hourCopy !req
672. with the plans
for the Lakewood mall.Copy !req
673. Good, then it's not too late.
Great.Copy !req
674. Let me out of here right now,
and I can still
make the flight.Copy !req
675. I don't think so, Dad. Found it.Copy !req
676. What do you mean? Good.Copy !req
677. Where are you going? The airport.Copy !req
678. We told Mr. Mitchell
you were still sick.Copy !req
679. Wait. You don't understand.Copy !req
680. I worked very hard on this.
I can't blow it.Copy !req
681. Dude,
just chill out, all right!Copy !req
682. It's just a mall. Later.Copy !req
683. Ned, would you like
to play Operation?Copy !req
684. Stacy!Copy !req
685. Bombs away!Copy !req
686. Stop it.Copy !req
687. Guys, don't ring the doorbell
until I tell you.Copy !req
688. We didn't.Copy !req
689. Yeah? Are the Beindorfs home?Copy !req
690. Uh, no.
They're at the doctor's.Copy !req
691. I'm babysitting.Copy !req
692. Well, uh, I brought them
some chicken soup.Copy !req
693. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
694. "Feel the fear,
and go for it."Copy !req
695. "Feel the fear,
and go for it."Copy !req
696. Feel the fear.Copy !req
697. Feel the fear.Copy !req
698. You owe me a quarter.Copy !req
699. Thank you for joining us.
I'm Robin LeachCopy !req
700. with those champagne wishes
and caviar dreams.Copy !req
701. We'll look forward
to joining you...Copy !req
702. Incoming!Copy !req
703. on the next edition of...Copy !req
704. This way, my friend.Copy !req
705. Hey, guys.Copy !req
706. Everything okay?Copy !req
707. Everything is just groovy. Fine.Copy !req
708. Well, uh, listen.Copy !req
709. I brought some company.Copy !req
710. I think we can help her.Copy !req
711. Hi.Copy !req
712. Hi.Copy !req
713. Hi. I'm Cindy Figler,
Brooke's mom.Copy !req
714. I'm here for the emergency
PTA meeting.Copy !req
715. Come on in.
Everybody's downstairs.Copy !req
716. Cool.Copy !req
717. Hello.
My daughter saysCopy !req
718. there's some kind of
health problem at school.Copy !req
719. Yeah, lice.Copy !req
720. Lice?Copy !req
721. I don't understand.Copy !req
722. Isn't that some disease
from the Middle Ages?Copy !req
723. Hi.Copy !req
724. Everybody's right down here.
Go ahead.Copy !req
725. That way.Copy !req
726. That's your mom?Copy !req
727. Is this the PTA meeting?Copy !req
728. Mom.Copy !req
729. Brooke, don't call me Mom.Copy !req
730. I have a name.
What is it?Copy !req
731. What is it?Copy !req
732. Cindy. Thank you.Copy !req
733. Fresh meat. Excuse me.Copy !req
734. What seems to be
the problem here?Copy !req
735. We've been kidnapped, honey. Kidnapped?Copy !req
736. My name is Gwenna.Copy !req
737. This is my husband, Donald.Copy !req
738. Everybody,
let's get started.Copy !req
739. Just gather around
the door.Copy !req
740. We're going to start
group therapy.Copy !req
741. What? Group therapy?Copy !req
742. That's funny.
You're gonna needCopy !req
743. physical therapy
when I'm done.Copy !req
744. What's going on?Copy !req
745. You understand me? We'll explain it to you.Copy !req
746. Mom, you dress like me,
you look like me,
you talk like me,Copy !req
747. you say "cool," Mom.Copy !req
748. Not group therapy.Copy !req
749. It was a nice try.Copy !req
750. Now.Copy !req
751. Does anybody
wanna play some football?Copy !req
752. Guys!Copy !req
753. All right,
there's no need to shout.Copy !req
754. I always believe we should
relate to children
as adults and peers.Copy !req
755. I think if we talk
to them very calmly...Copy !req
756. Watch this. Brooke, honey.Copy !req
757. Come here. Go deep.Copy !req
758. Brooke, it's Cindy.Copy !req
759. Obviously,
you're feeling confused
about something.Copy !req
760. Brooke, darling.Copy !req
761. T.J.: This way.Copy !req
762. Hey, Barndoor. Incoming.Copy !req
763. This way!Copy !req
764. Dude!Copy !req
765. Why did you do that?Copy !req
766. Shut up, okay?Copy !req
767. Everybody just shut up,
and listen for a second.Copy !req
768. Come on, Groves. You don't...Copy !req
769. Your parents are here
because you guys said
they needed help.Copy !req
770. Now you could just care less.
You're too busy
playing footballCopy !req
771. or watching TV
or having some party.Copy !req
772. Who died
and made you housemom?Copy !req
773. I've got news for all of you.Copy !req
774. This was my idea, remember?Copy !req
775. It's not a joke,
and it's not a party.Copy !req
776. I'm not doing this
to impress anybody.Copy !req
777. You got that, Matt?Copy !req
778. Or are you too busy
kissing up to T.J.?Copy !req
779. Well, what's wrong with that?Copy !req
780. Go ahead.Copy !req
781. Beat me up.Copy !req
782. T.J., let him go.Copy !req
783. "T.J., let him go."Copy !req
784. From now on,
you're gonna startCopy !req
785. to listen to
what I have to say.Copy !req
786. Or I'm gonna let
all the parents out.Copy !req
787. Come on.Copy !req
788. You're such a bully.
My mother needs help.Copy !req
789. Dude, let him go.Copy !req
790. You guys heard the man.Copy !req
791. Now, let's listen up.Copy !req
792. Okay.
First order of business.Copy !req
793. We gotta clean the house.
After that,Copy !req
794. we're going to make
this group therapy
thing work.Copy !req
795. But, Grover, how are we going
to get them to listen to us?Copy !req
796. I've got an idea.Copy !req
797. Don't hover over me.Copy !req
798. You made me drop
the Adam's apple.Copy !req
799. I'm sorry, Vic.
My God, it's just a game.Copy !req
800. They've been
vacuuming up there
for over an hour.Copy !req
801. I hope they haven't
stained my carpet.Copy !req
802. What do you use?Copy !req
803. For really tough ones,
I dab a little detergent.Copy !req
804. Then I sprinkle
with a little talcum powder.Copy !req
805. Does that blot?Copy !req
806. Hello.
What is this, vacation?Copy !req
807. We're being
outwitted by a bunch
of snot-nosed kids.Copy !req
808. Come on.Copy !req
809. There's gotta be
a way out of here.Copy !req
810. Excuse me, I'm not sure
who elected you
mayor of the basementCopy !req
811. but this is my house,
and I also happen
to be an architect,Copy !req
812. so I think I would know
every nook and cranny...Copy !req
813. Of course.Copy !req
814. What?Copy !req
815. The laundry chute.Copy !req
816. Do you remember
when we bought the house,Copy !req
817. there was
a laundry chute that wentCopy !req
818. from our bedroom
to the basement?Copy !req
819. You closed it
'cause you were scared
the kids would fall through.Copy !req
820. It's under the drywall. The laundry chute!Copy !req
821. Where are the plans?Copy !req
822. Now we're going up
the laundry chute.Copy !req
823. Even marry your own brother?Copy !req
824. He's not my brother.
He was my brother,
but he's my husband now.Copy !req
825. Hi. You don't happen to have
a cigarette, do you?Copy !req
826. Yes.
As a matter of fact, I do.Copy !req
827. I have one cigarette
that I've carried in my purseCopy !req
828. ever since I quit
smoking five years ago.Copy !req
829. Any time I get the urge,
I pull it out,
and I look at it, and I say,Copy !req
830. "Who's stronger, you or me?"Copy !req
831. That cigarette...Copy !req
832. That's so good.
Good for you.Copy !req
833. Thanks. Can I have it?Copy !req
834. No. It has sentimental value.Copy !req
835. Don't label them all,
all right?Copy !req
836. This crap's labeled,
these aren't.Copy !req
837. I just... Found it!Copy !req
838. Found it. Got it!Copy !req
839. Good.
Now we're getting somewhere.Copy !req
840. Okay. Here we go. Let's see.Copy !req
841. Watch out.Copy !req
842. Stop that, Grover.Copy !req
843. Watch out.Copy !req
844. Grover, what are you...Copy !req
845. Is that a camera?Copy !req
846. It has
a camera for a head.Copy !req
847. Testing. Testing. Testing.Copy !req
848. Five, four, three, two...Copy !req
849. Hello, and, uh, welcomeCopy !req
850. toThe Grover Beindorf Hour,Copy !req
851. live from up above.Copy !req
852. These are my assistants.Copy !req
853. We are here to help you.Copy !req
854. Oh, my God.Copy !req
855. Did you say something, Mom?Copy !req
856. Yeah, the holes.Copy !req
857. If you're mad
about the holes,
don't worry.Copy !req
858. I promise,
it may take 30 yearsCopy !req
859. but I'll pay you back
for them.Copy !req
860. Okay, everybody,
let's get started.Copy !req
861. Mrs. Finley,
please move the TV...Copy !req
862. I've had enough.Copy !req
863. under the camera,
everybody make
a semicircle around the TVCopy !req
864. and we'll begin
with a little musicCopy !req
865. to remind us of
better days gone by.Copy !req
866. Remember this one?Copy !req
867. One, two, three, four.Copy !req
868. No. We're not
just getting started,
we're finishing.Copy !req
869. It's ending,
it's over right now! Finito!Copy !req
870. Pull it up!Copy !req
871. Faster!
Teddy, Jimmy. Pull it up.Copy !req
872. I hate that song.Copy !req
873. That was our song.Copy !req
874. Well, how am I supposed
to remember that?Copy !req
875. I gotta get out of here. It was.Copy !req
876. Everyone is going
to participate, Dad.Copy !req
877. And why's that, son?Copy !req
878. Well, because if you don't,
we won't feed you.Copy !req
879. Then, we'll shut off
the water,Copy !req
880. which means,
once you flush that toilet,Copy !req
881. your drinking water's gone.Copy !req
882. You wouldn't.Copy !req
883. Of course he wouldn't.Copy !req
884. Oh, yes, we would, Louise.Copy !req
885. T.J.: Now, move the TV.Copy !req
886. Come on,
help me move the TV.Copy !req
887. It will start out easy.Copy !req
888. I promise, it won't be hard.Copy !req
889. When we're through,
we'll have a little lunch.Copy !req
890. Maybe.Copy !req
891. How's that?Copy !req
892. You know,
my son's got a point.Copy !req
893. T.J., I just wanted to say...Copy !req
894. What's wrong? What's the matter?Copy !req
895. What's happening?Copy !req
896. Help!Copy !req
897. Do something!Copy !req
898. What do we do?Copy !req
899. Stacy, call 911!Copy !req
900. Breathe in his mouth!Copy !req
901. Dad, cut it out.
Everyone sit down,Copy !req
902. and let's get
this thing going.Copy !req
903. Please.Copy !req
904. He's trying to
breathe on his own.Copy !req
905. Get off me.Copy !req
906. It worked.Copy !req
907. He's alive.
Did you see that?
He's alive.Copy !req
908. Cool.Copy !req
909. That just
wasn't funny at all.Copy !req
910. At least I tried.Copy !req
911. Okay. Everybody,Copy !req
912. settle down.Copy !req
913. Um, I think that the kids
have a very good idea here.Copy !req
914. It's obviously
important to them,Copy !req
915. and I think that
we should cooperate.Copy !req
916. I certainly don't want
to drink toilet water.Copy !req
917. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
918. Yes,
I think my wife is right.Copy !req
919. Why don't we get in
that circle thing,
that they were saying?Copy !req
920. Good, good, good. Okay.Copy !req
921. Okay, let's start out easy,
by going down the line,Copy !req
922. and saying our names
and occupations.Copy !req
923. We'll start on Dad's end.
Dad?Copy !req
924. Dad.Copy !req
925. Ned Beindorf.Copy !req
926. I'm an architect.Copy !req
927. I work at
Mitchell Engineering.Copy !req
928. Or at least I did.Copy !req
929. Oh, me?
Um, I'm Cindy Figler.Copy !req
930. I'm a dental
hygienist by day,Copy !req
931. and I'm a performance
artist by night.Copy !req
932. Mom, you're a waitress.Copy !req
933. Brooke, I am not a waitress.Copy !req
934. You know I get up
and perform those pieces.Copy !req
935. I only serve coffee
between sets.Copy !req
936. Anyhow, I think it's way cool
that you kidsCopy !req
937. have chosen
to share your feelings
with us.Copy !req
938. God, she's doing it again.Copy !req
939. What? Your mom's okay.Copy !req
940. She's talking like me.
I can't stand it.Copy !req
941. What's she talking about?Copy !req
942. I think we should
all hold hands.Copy !req
943. Mom, please stop it.Copy !req
944. I'm, uh, Victor Finley.Copy !req
945. But everybody
just calls me Vic.Copy !req
946. Hi, Vic.Copy !req
947. I'm a salesman
at Buckeye Big and Tall.
You know.Copy !req
948. "If you're big and tall,
and you want to look sporty,Copy !req
949. "come on down to Buckeye's,
and ask for Shorty."Copy !req
950. Oh, uh, hi.Copy !req
951. I'm Louise Finley,Copy !req
952. and I am
a part-time cosmetologist
at Stang's Pharmacy,Copy !req
953. and I'm Vic's
full-time audience.Copy !req
954. Yes, well.Copy !req
955. I'm always getting
standing ovations,
especially in bed.Copy !req
956. This is great.
We're all talking.Copy !req
957. Let's continue.Copy !req
958. Mom?Copy !req
959. Yes?Copy !req
960. What were you doing?Copy !req
961. Just stretching, honey.
My back hurts very much.Copy !req
962. I didn't sleep well.Copy !req
963. Um, I'm Janet Beindorf,
and I'm a loan officer
at Defiance Bank.Copy !req
964. I'm in charge ofCopy !req
965. keeping 317 credit
histories up to dateCopy !req
966. and ready at
a moment's notice.Copy !req
967. So, you're the one!Copy !req
968. He loves to play games
with finance people.Copy !req
969. Stop it. Just stop it.Copy !req
970. T.J.: Next.Copy !req
971. Dad?Copy !req
972. Yes, I'm Donald Krupp,
attorney at law.Copy !req
973. I want you kids to know
that you are guilty
of kidnappingCopy !req
974. under Ohio revised code,
Section 2905.01.Copy !req
975. This is an aggravated felony
of the first degree.Copy !req
976. Second degree
under the revised code.Copy !req
977. Gwenna, I'm talking.Copy !req
978. Mrs. Krupp,
what were you saying?Copy !req
979. Gwenna Krupp, homemaker.Copy !req
980. That's it. I've had it.
This is ridiculous.Copy !req
981. Your son is
truly certifiable.Copy !req
982. Wait a minute.Copy !req
983. My son is certifiable? Yeah, your son.Copy !req
984. How about when
the yearbook comes outCopy !req
985. and your kid's
picture's gonna be there,Copy !req
986. "Most likely to be
a serial killer."
That's your boy.Copy !req
987. Everybody
just settle down, okay?Copy !req
988. That's right.
Go ahead, push me.Copy !req
989. That's worth
a few thousand bucks.Copy !req
990. Come on. Go ahead.Copy !req
991. Okay, everybody settle down.Copy !req
992. Violence doesn't
solve anything.Copy !req
993. This is better than
American Gladiator.Copy !req
994. Give him a left.Copy !req
995. Everybody has to
take a deep breath.Copy !req
996. The squirt guns.Copy !req
997. Hurry, hurry, hurry.Copy !req
998. You're acting like children.Copy !req
999. You take your dad,
I'll take mine.Copy !req
1000. I'm gonna faint.Copy !req
1001. This is horrible.Copy !req
1002. Louise, I'm sorry.
I didn't know what it was.Copy !req
1003. What can I do? I'm sorry.Copy !req
1004. We're taking a break.Copy !req
1005. But you guys aren't
getting any lunch,Copy !req
1006. you're not
getting any dinner,Copy !req
1007. you're not getting anything,
until you apologize.Copy !req
1008. He started it.Copy !req
1009. Janet? Ralph Doyle here.Copy !req
1010. Listen,
I'm leaving town on Monday.Copy !req
1011. Please give me
a call before then.Copy !req
1012. So, what's next?Copy !req
1013. We just wait.Copy !req
1014. My dad's pretty stubborn,
you know?Copy !req
1015. Yeah, so is ours.Copy !req
1016. You know, your mom's
been handling this
the best of all.Copy !req
1017. Yeah. She should.
She's been in therapy
since the day I was born.Copy !req
1018. Well. It worked.Copy !req
1019. She's always been
the most popular
mom on the block.Copy !req
1020. That was okay
when I was seven.Copy !req
1021. Now she wants to, like,
go and hang out with
me and my friends,Copy !req
1022. or worse, go out with us.Copy !req
1023. I just wish she'd learn
to stay out of my life.Copy !req
1024. At least she cares enough
to try to stay in it.Copy !req
1025. You know,
I don't see why
this is necessary.Copy !req
1026. That old fart still thinks
he's chief of police.Copy !req
1027. He's dangerous, okay?Copy !req
1028. Yeah, but I don't know
about, about this.Copy !req
1029. All right.
Prepare for demonstration.Copy !req
1030. Now, it's just
really quite simple, okay?Copy !req
1031. Rocco trips over a series of
carefully disguised wires,Copy !req
1032. et voila!Copy !req
1033. Awesome. Wow.Copy !req
1034. I think you might
want to give this
a little more thought.Copy !req
1035. I think maybe
this'll work for you.Copy !req
1036. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
1037. Grover?Copy !req
1038. Grover? Um, Grover.Copy !req
1039. Yeah, Mom?Copy !req
1040. Can I talk to you upstairs,
please?Copy !req
1041. Grover, whose dog is that?Copy !req
1042. Matt's.Copy !req
1043. This has gotten out of hand.Copy !req
1044. It's very tense
down here,Copy !req
1045. especially between your father
and Mr. Krupp.Copy !req
1046. Tell them to start
getting along.Copy !req
1047. They're adults.Copy !req
1048. You know how
your father gets.Copy !req
1049. He's not gonna back down.Copy !req
1050. Especially when
his pride is hurt.Copy !req
1051. Honey,
please just let us out.Copy !req
1052. I can't do that.Copy !req
1053. Well,
at least give us some food.Copy !req
1054. Something's gotta
bend here.Copy !req
1055. Now, I know these people
are your hostages.Copy !req
1056. But they're also
guests in our home,Copy !req
1057. and we don't
treat guests this way.Copy !req
1058. So why don't you
make a meatloaf?Copy !req
1059. There's some turkey
in the fridge,Copy !req
1060. and you can use
Aunt Mary's recipe.Copy !req
1061. Yeah, I know, Mom.Copy !req
1062. I've made
meatloaf and lasagna,
pot roast.Copy !req
1063. You don't have to
leave notes for me,
or hide them in my lunch,Copy !req
1064. laminate lists for me.Copy !req
1065. I'm not a kid anymore.Copy !req
1066. I know.Copy !req
1067. Here they are.Copy !req
1068. Thanks.Copy !req
1069. Ned, Ned.Copy !req
1070. Yes?Copy !req
1071. Do you think Krupp is right?Copy !req
1072. Do you think
we're bad parents?Copy !req
1073. I think Krupp is an idiot.Copy !req
1074. No, I don't think
we've been bad parents.Copy !req
1075. I think you've done
a great job.Copy !req
1076. Listen.
We found the chute.Copy !req
1077. Oh, great.Copy !req
1078. Okay. I think the kids
are gonna be distractedCopy !req
1079. cooking for a while,
let's go.Copy !req
1080. All right.
We gotta organize. Louise? What?Copy !req
1081. Could you watch the stairs? Where?Copy !req
1082. At the top of the stairs. Okay.Copy !req
1083. Cindy, could you
find something sharp
to dig with over there?Copy !req
1084. T.J.: Incoming!Copy !req
1085. Sleeping bags? Thanks.Copy !req
1086. Gwenna, sleeping bags.Copy !req
1087. Sleeping bags!Copy !req
1088. I got something!Copy !req
1089. You can hit the thing,
even if it's really hard.Copy !req
1090. Thank you.You're welcome.Copy !req
1091. Where? Where? Where?Copy !req
1092. Straight up. Straight up?Copy !req
1093. Louder, louder!Copy !req
1094. Forks on the left,
knife and spoon on the right.Copy !req
1095. Well,
our silverware usually comes
wrapped in plastic.Copy !req
1096. Doesn't your mom cook?Copy !req
1097. She can defrost it.Copy !req
1098. Or have it delivered.Copy !req
1099. Actually, guys,
the glasses go on the...Copy !req
1100. Wait a minute.
Who's gonna say anythingCopy !req
1101. if we, uh,
change things around?Copy !req
1102. "Obi-Wan
has taught you well."Copy !req
1103. Well, shall we?Copy !req
1104. Here we are.Copy !req
1105. This is unbelievable.Copy !req
1106. Yeah. This is really nice.Copy !req
1107. I still can't
believe you're here.Copy !req
1108. Why not?Copy !req
1109. Because, you know,
you're Brooke Figler.Copy !req
1110. What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
1111. Gorgeous, popular, legendary.Copy !req
1112. And what are you?Copy !req
1113. Invisible.Copy !req
1114. Everyone's invisible
to the Ice Queen.Copy !req
1115. She has her image to uphold.Copy !req
1116. How would you know?Copy !req
1117. In eighth grade,
I sat behind you
for a whole year.Copy !req
1118. I felt the chill.Copy !req
1119. You never even
came to class.Copy !req
1120. Oh, did I strike a nerve?Copy !req
1121. Come on, you guys,
you're acting like them.Copy !req
1122. She's right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1123. Yeah. Me, too.Copy !req
1124. You know,
they could learn from us,Copy !req
1125. I mean,
if we could get along.Copy !req
1126. That's one thing all of us
have in common.Copy !req
1127. Our parents are nuts.Copy !req
1128. If my mom reads one more
New Age self-help book...Copy !req
1129. My mom still
labels my sandwiches.Copy !req
1130. What about Matt's dad
with those jokes?Copy !req
1131. What's wrong
with my dad's jokes? Yeah. They're funny.Copy !req
1132. We happen to like them.Copy !req
1133. And then there's my parents.Copy !req
1134. When you get old,
you get crazy.Copy !req
1135. I'm not gonna be like that
when I grow up.Copy !req
1136. Me neither.Copy !req
1137. You know, uh,
this dinner calls
for a special celebration.Copy !req
1138. And a little music.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
1139. What are you doing? No!Copy !req
1140. What's a little fine dining
without some bubbly?Copy !req
1141. You don't understand!
My mom has been saving
that for 14 years!Copy !req
1142. She's gonna kill me.Copy !req
1143. No wine before your prime.Copy !req
1144. She'll get over it. No!Copy !req
1145. Yes, siree,
a little beverage for thee.Copy !req
1146. "To champagne wishes
and caviar dreams."Copy !req
1147. I've always wanted
to try this stuff.Copy !req
1148. Your mom should have drank it
while it was still fresh.Copy !req
1149. So, uh, Ned,
why do you have all theseCopy !req
1150. strange decorations
down here?Copy !req
1151. Well, the kids put them up
for our anniversary.Copy !req
1152. Yeah.
They wanted to remind us
of our honeymoon in Hawaii.Copy !req
1153. Can you imagine having
a Hawaii honeymoon?Copy !req
1154. That'd be so great.
Where did you go?Copy !req
1155. We didn't have a honeymoon.Copy !req
1156. You didn't have
a honeymoon?Copy !req
1157. No. Donald
was still busy at work,
and I was still waitressing.Copy !req
1158. You waitressed? Yeah, for five years.Copy !req
1159. Really?Copy !req
1160. You see, Donald and I
were at law school together.Copy !req
1161. He couldn't
afford the tuitionCopy !req
1162. so I dropped out
and started waitressing
until he got established.Copy !req
1163. She wanted to.Copy !req
1164. I got it!Copy !req
1165. Well?Copy !req
1166. The latch is broken,
and the door is rusted shut.Copy !req
1167. Oh, get me down.Copy !req
1168. Honey,
let's take a little break.Copy !req
1169. A pipe or something
that we could hit at it with.Copy !req
1170. Just hang on
a little longer, honey.Copy !req
1171. When we get out of here,
I'm gonna buy youCopy !req
1172. a whole truckload
of cigarettes.Copy !req
1173. No, it's not that.Copy !req
1174. What is it, then?Copy !req
1175. It just must be
nice to have kidsCopy !req
1176. who care about you
as much as theirs do.Copy !req
1177. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1178. My kids love you.Copy !req
1179. You see, it's your kids.Copy !req
1180. They don't think of me
as their mother,Copy !req
1181. they don't want me
as their mother.Copy !req
1182. Well, of course they do.
Why do you think
they locked you in here?Copy !req
1183. Brilliant. Brilliant.Copy !req
1184. Brilliant.Copy !req
1185. Absolutely brilliant.Copy !req
1186. What are you doing?Copy !req
1187. Turning off the electricity.Copy !req
1188. Don't you understand?
They can't survive
without electricity.Copy !req
1189. No Nintendo, no MTV.Copy !req
1190. I've already thought of it.
It won't work.Copy !req
1191. It will work.Copy !req
1192. Two hours
without electricity,Copy !req
1193. they'll be screaming
for their mommy.Copy !req
1194. Two hours without electricity
and we're gonna be screamingCopy !req
1195. while they burn
down the house
with matches.Copy !req
1196. You don't like this
because it isn't your plan.Copy !req
1197. You are so childish. No, I'm not.Copy !req
1198. Yes, you are.Copy !req
1199. Why are you acting this way?Copy !req
1200. Why am I acting this way?
Why?Copy !req
1201. I haven't a clue.Copy !req
1202. Let's take a stab
at it, shall we?Copy !req
1203. I got it!
We've been held hostage
since Thursday,Copy !req
1204. our kids are starting
to act like Freud,
I've probably lost my job,Copy !req
1205. spurned
a fist-fight with the town's
biggest ass-wipeCopy !req
1206. and we just
wasted the entire day
with your stupid plan.Copy !req
1207. Oh, turning off
the electricity is brilliant,
it's a brilliant plan.Copy !req
1208. Oh, I forgot,
you graduated from Mensa,
didn't you?Copy !req
1209. You and Nostradamus
were like this.Copy !req
1210. It's a bad plan,
Ned, a stupid plan.Copy !req
1211. What did he just call me?Copy !req
1212. "Ass-wipe."Copy !req
1213. The plumber's wrench
is over by the camera.Copy !req
1214. You guys are
in big trouble now.Copy !req
1215. Who's there?Copy !req
1216. Groves, what's going on?Copy !req
1217. It's the cops. Hide.Copy !req
1218. Hi.Copy !req
1219. Can I help you?Copy !req
1220. We're responding
to a complaint.Copy !req
1221. A neighbor says
your lights keep flashing.Copy !req
1222. Oh, that. It's
the electricity. We've been
having some troubles with it.Copy !req
1223. Are your parents at home?Copy !req
1224. No, sir.Copy !req
1225. Hi, officers. Groves,
we're waiting for you.
Come on.Copy !req
1226. You guys can come, too.Copy !req
1227. You sure?Copy !req
1228. Yeah, follow me.Copy !req
1229. Come on in.Copy !req
1230. Hi.Copy !req
1231. Wanna play?Yeah.Copy !req
1232. No, thanks.Copy !req
1233. The problem's
with the fuse box.Copy !req
1234. The wire came
loose from the jamrod,Copy !req
1235. which caused
a short in the connector.Copy !req
1236. How are you doing, officers?Copy !req
1237. I paid those parking tickets.Copy !req
1238. So, uh,
what did you find, huh?Copy !req
1239. The usual, Chief.
Sex, drugs, Twister.Copy !req
1240. Everything's fine, Chief.Copy !req
1241. Have a good night.Copy !req
1242. Get some rest.Copy !req
1243. Yes! Yes! We did it!Copy !req
1244. How did you keep
the parents quiet?Copy !req
1245. Ah, my friend, with Matt.Copy !req
1246. Stay back.Copy !req
1247. Remember the tomato, okay?Copy !req
1248. You are going
too far with this.Copy !req
1249. You're not staying back.Copy !req
1250. You're not fooling me.Copy !req
1251. Got him!
He is faking. I knew it.Copy !req
1252. Come on, you little wuss.Copy !req
1253. Stop it!Copy !req
1254. Mr. Krupp.Copy !req
1255. How?Copy !req
1256. Mom, thanks.Copy !req
1257. He called me "Mom."Copy !req
1258. It was our way out of here.Copy !req
1259. That dumb thing didn't work.Copy !req
1260. Grover! Grover!Copy !req
1261. I am ashamed of all of you.Copy !req
1262. You ask us to listen
to you and trust you
and you're up there drinking?Copy !req
1263. It was my fault,
Mrs. Beindorf.Copy !req
1264. I opened it,
and I only took a little sip.Copy !req
1265. Oh, only a sip? Well,
that's just fine, isn't it?Copy !req
1266. What kind of impression
are you making
on these younger children?Copy !req
1267. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1268. Well, sorry isn't
good enough, is it?Copy !req
1269. Now, I want you
all in bed right now!Copy !req
1270. Do you hear me? Right now!Copy !req
1271. Right now!Copy !req
1272. You heard the lady, let's go.Copy !req
1273. That was good.Copy !req
1274. Good night.Copy !req
1275. So, that's how it's done.Copy !req
1276. What do we do now?Copy !req
1277. If I had
a little piece of wire,Copy !req
1278. my stupid plan
would have worked.Copy !req
1279. Wire? That's it?
There's wire all
over the basement!Copy !req
1280. If that's all you want,
why not take
a part of Louise's brassiere?Copy !req
1281. You could wire
the whole town.Copy !req
1282. Oh, she's gonna get it.Copy !req
1283. This is gonna be the time.Copy !req
1284. I got her.Copy !req
1285. Don't let her go.Copy !req
1286. Hook it around the ledge.Copy !req
1287. Just bend it
around really good.Copy !req
1288. I got it!Copy !req
1289. What is this?Copy !req
1290. Take it away from my face!Copy !req
1291. Grover.Copy !req
1292. Quick, come here.Copy !req
1293. First window on the right.Copy !req
1294. That dude can have us
put away, man.Copy !req
1295. But we're minors.Copy !req
1296. I don't think
Rocco's smart enough
to get us put away.Copy !req
1297. Yeah, but what if he does?
I mean,
what if we end up in jail?Copy !req
1298. What would
our parents do to us?Copy !req
1299. What would
the other prisoners
do to us?Copy !req
1300. They could be
outside the house.Copy !req
1301. We could be surrounded.Copy !req
1302. Did you hear something?Copy !req
1303. They're inside the house.Copy !req
1304. They're in the wall.Copy !req
1305. Wait!Copy !req
1306. It's Mom.Copy !req
1307. Hi, kids.
Do you think you could maybeCopy !req
1308. just give me
a little hand here?Copy !req
1309. Thanks.Copy !req
1310. Look out!Copy !req
1311. I got you.Copy !req
1312. What happened? Why were you screaming?Copy !req
1313. What's so funny?Copy !req
1314. The only thing you ever
finished in this houseCopy !req
1315. was closing off our escape.Copy !req
1316. What do you mean,
our escape?Copy !req
1317. What do you mean?
This is our only
means of escape?Copy !req
1318. Are you all right?Copy !req
1319. I ripped my pants.Copy !req
1320. There's always champagne.Copy !req
1321. What do you say?Copy !req
1322. Why not?Copy !req
1323. We gotta board this up.Copy !req
1324. Yeah.Copy !req
1325. What is this?Copy !req
1326. Oh, that was something
that Ned gave me
for Valentine's Day.Copy !req
1327. It just wasn't me.Copy !req
1328. I know.
When you become a mom,Copy !req
1329. you don't get to wear
stuff like this anymore.Copy !req
1330. I'd roll over and die
if I believed that.Copy !req
1331. Cake? No, thanks.Copy !req
1332. Do you want some champagne?Copy !req
1333. No, thank you.Copy !req
1334. I prefer not to indulge
in artificial stimulants
of any kind.Copy !req
1335. You are of age
to drink, right?Copy !req
1336. 21 at least?Copy !req
1337. What do you mean by that?Copy !req
1338. I think what
he's trying to say is,Copy !req
1339. judging from the way
you talk and dressCopy !req
1340. I'd say you're about 15. Excuse me.Copy !req
1341. Excuse me,
I don't really think
the way I talkCopy !req
1342. and dress is
any business of yours.Copy !req
1343. You know, a lot of people
don't dress their age.Copy !req
1344. Phil Donahue did
a whole show...Copy !req
1345. Gwenna, no one wants to hear
about Phil Donahue right now.Copy !req
1346. Why are you
always interrupting her
all the time?Copy !req
1347. How would like it
if somebody interrupted youCopy !req
1348. every time
you started to talk?Copy !req
1349. Like I said...Copy !req
1350. I don't think you
respect her very much.Copy !req
1351. Respect?Copy !req
1352. She's my wife.Copy !req
1353. Of course I respect her,
for God's sake.Copy !req
1354. Actually, Donald, you do... Gwenna, I'm talking.Copy !req
1355. You're a fine one
to talk about respect,
with you and your kid.Copy !req
1356. Think your daughter
respects you,
you dress like you're 12?Copy !req
1357. Not bad. Excuse me.Copy !req
1358. How about a toast?Copy !req
1359. To what?Copy !req
1360. How about to a nightCopy !req
1361. all alone, without our kids.Copy !req
1362. Sorry, John.Copy !req
1363. Ned, do you play that thing?Copy !req
1364. Uh, no.Copy !req
1365. Come on, Ned, one song.Copy !req
1366. I'm sorry I made fun of you,
really, honey.Copy !req
1367. Come on.
You play, I'll hula.Copy !req
1368. How do you know
how to do a hula?Copy !req
1369. I learned it on
our honeymoon.Copy !req
1370. Go, girl.Copy !req
1371. Hey, handsome.Copy !req
1372. Come on, dance with me.Copy !req
1373. Come on, Ned.
Dance with me, please?Copy !req
1374. No, I can't.Copy !req
1375. That's not what I remember.Copy !req
1376. Come on.Copy !req
1377. What about music?Copy !req
1378. I'll take care of the music.Copy !req
1379. It's a music box.Copy !req
1380. Oh, no.Copy !req
1381. I don't remember.Copy !req
1382. Yes, you do.Copy !req
1383. Hips.Copy !req
1384. It's a shame
these other people are here.Copy !req
1385. What people?Copy !req
1386. ♪ The night is youngCopy !req
1387. What are you doing up?Copy !req
1388. I couldn't sleep.Copy !req
1389. Me either.Copy !req
1390. What's going on?Copy !req
1391. They're dancing.Copy !req
1392. Let's go to bed.Copy !req
1393. Okay.Copy !req
1394. Cosmo, go away.Copy !req
1395. Ladies and gentleman,
put your hands together
for the Mr. Tom Jones.Copy !req
1396. They're playing our song.Copy !req
1397. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1398. It's okay.
I just finished, actually.Copy !req
1399. Go ahead.Copy !req
1400. Thanks.Copy !req
1401. And, Grover.Copy !req
1402. Remember last night,
when you said that
you were invisible?Copy !req
1403. Yeah.Copy !req
1404. Well, you're wrong.
I've always noticed you,Copy !req
1405. and you're not invisible.Copy !req
1406. T.J.: I fixed up those traps,
but I think we ought to
give them a test.Copy !req
1407. I'll get it.Copy !req
1408. Hello. Is your mother home?Copy !req
1409. Yes, but she's sick.Copy !req
1410. We all are.Copy !req
1411. She's been waiting for this.Copy !req
1412. Can you tell her
it's from Mr. Doyle?Copy !req
1413. Oh, okay. Do you work
with her at the bank?Copy !req
1414. No, I'm her lawyer.Copy !req
1415. Thanks.Copy !req
1416. Listen, I just... I thought that...Copy !req
1417. Go ahead. No, go on.Copy !req
1418. Well, last night, I...Copy !req
1419. Could I just
have your attention
for just a minute, please?Copy !req
1420. Introducing
the new Cindy Figler.Copy !req
1421. Come on.Copy !req
1422. From the private
basement collection
of Janet Beindorf,Copy !req
1423. Cindy is wearing
a beautiful evening gownCopy !req
1424. of green sequinsCopy !req
1425. and it's got a green
dirndl skirt, as well.Copy !req
1426. We're ready.Copy !req
1427. All right, everybody.Copy !req
1428. Let's get down to business.Copy !req
1429. Mom? Dad?Copy !req
1430. Your turn.Copy !req
1431. Are you all right?Copy !req
1432. Okay, I'm the one
asking the questions
right now, all right?Copy !req
1433. What's the first thing
that you noticed about Dad?Copy !req
1434. Honestly?Copy !req
1435. His car.Copy !req
1436. His car?It's true.Copy !req
1437. It was a 1972 Olds
Cutlass convertible.Copy !req
1438. It was dark blue
with a V8 engine.Copy !req
1439. It had no muffler.
It was very loud.Copy !req
1440. My father hated it,
and of course, I loved it.Copy !req
1441. It really was a beauty,
and Ned took
great care of it.Copy !req
1442. Dad? What did you
notice about Mom?Copy !req
1443. That she was
the most beautiful girl
I had ever seen.Copy !req
1444. So, let's cut to the chase.Copy !req
1445. What went wrong?Copy !req
1446. It's just like we said.
It's not any big thing.Copy !req
1447. It's just a bunch of... Little things?Copy !req
1448. Like you thought you should
get a divorce?Copy !req
1449. Honey, we've said
we're not getting a divorce.Copy !req
1450. Mommy and Daddy
just needed some time.Copy !req
1451. We thought it would be best
if we separated
for just a little while.Copy !req
1452. I didn't, actually.Copy !req
1453. I mean,
you said you were unhappy,Copy !req
1454. and I said,
"Well, if you're unhappy,Copy !req
1455. "then maybe we should get..."Copy !req
1456. Ned, you did say so.Copy !req
1457. No, I wasn't happy,
but I didn't say...Copy !req
1458. Ned,
I remember you saying it.Copy !req
1459. You don't really
talk all that much,Copy !req
1460. so I would remember
that you would say it.Copy !req
1461. Why does everything
have to turn into a fight
with you guys?Copy !req
1462. No wonder
you're getting divorced.Copy !req
1463. Son, again,
no one is saying anything
about divorce.Copy !req
1464. No one is talking
about divorce.Copy !req
1465. Then who sent
the divorce papers?Copy !req
1466. Who turned off
the answering machine?Copy !req
1467. I want to see those papers.
Matt!Copy !req
1468. Hey, Matt,
are you still up there?Copy !req
1469. Right here, Mr. Beindorf.Copy !req
1470. Matt.Copy !req
1471. Matt, bring the papers up
for me to see. Now!Copy !req
1472. Hello?Copy !req
1473. Hi, it's Ralph Doyle.Copy !req
1474. What do you want?Copy !req
1475. I want to talk
to your mother.Copy !req
1476. I thought I told you
that she's sick.Copy !req
1477. Did you give her that...Copy !req
1478. You mean the divorce papers?Copy !req
1479. She got them,
she was just thrilled.Copy !req
1480. What happened
to trial separation?Copy !req
1481. Just listen to me, please.
You never...Copy !req
1482. It's getting a little
ugly down here, man.Copy !req
1483. Can't you tell
we're having a party?Copy !req
1484. Whoopee!Copy !req
1485. I'm sure she must
have some questions.Copy !req
1486. Oh, yeah? Well, so do I!Copy !req
1487. We're supposed to be
saving marriages,
not breaking them up.Copy !req
1488. What happened?Copy !req
1489. Things just aren't going
exactly the way we planned.Copy !req
1490. Ned. What?Copy !req
1491. Come on, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1492. About what? You purposely
deceiving me?
I don't think so.Copy !req
1493. I went to this lawyer
just for advice.Copy !req
1494. He said anybody
who separates,Copy !req
1495. they usually draw up
divorce papers.Copy !req
1496. He said
you were probably
doing the same thing.Copy !req
1497. Well, I wasn't.
And if I were,
I would've told you.Copy !req
1498. Come on,
Ned, just talk to me.Copy !req
1499. Talk to my attorney, Donald.Copy !req
1500. I'll get you the house.Copy !req
1501. The kids may be a problem.Copy !req
1502. Yes! That's it!Copy !req
1503. We're through!Copy !req
1504. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1505. Yeah,
but who are you going to get
to fit through there?Copy !req
1506. They're trying to escape!Copy !req
1507. It'll be okay.Copy !req
1508. Groves is going to be pissed!Copy !req
1509. He'll be back any second.Copy !req
1510. Get in there!Copy !req
1511. Making progress.Copy !req
1512. I made it!Copy !req
1513. I'm stuck!Copy !req
1514. Hang in.
Hang in, honey, hang in.Copy !req
1515. Yes, you can do it! Louise.Copy !req
1516. Help!Copy !req
1517. Be careful!Copy !req
1518. Help!Copy !req
1519. Look out for the trip wire!Copy !req
1520. Don't do that!Copy !req
1521. Help me, come on!Copy !req
1522. Matt,
Jimmy, Teddy, come here!Copy !req
1523. You can't push and pull
at the same time!Copy !req
1524. Grover?Copy !req
1525. Wait!Copy !req
1526. Groves,
where have you been, man?Copy !req
1527. Hey, what about me?Copy !req
1528. T.J.: Later!Copy !req
1529. Operator?
This is Chief Rocco.Copy !req
1530. Get me the police.Copy !req
1531. Grover!Copy !req
1532. Nothing's wrong, huh?Copy !req
1533. Well, what about this?Copy !req
1534. Hello.Copy !req
1535. This is Officers
Davis and Brickowski.Copy !req
1536. All right, now.Copy !req
1537. Don't you worry
about anything.Copy !req
1538. Something strange
is going on here.Copy !req
1539. Hey! Did you see that?Copy !req
1540. Hey, Dave!
What happened to you?Copy !req
1541. Did you see that?Copy !req
1542. How did those kids do that?Copy !req
1543. Mayday!Copy !req
1544. You wait right here.
Don't go away.Copy !req
1545. I'm gonna get help.Copy !req
1546. But...Copy !req
1547. Chief!Copy !req
1548. Chief Rocco!Copy !req
1549. Help!Copy !req
1550. Grover, come on,
open the door.Copy !req
1551. Please?Copy !req
1552. Come on in.Copy !req
1553. How are you doing?Copy !req
1554. Bad.Copy !req
1555. Same here.Copy !req
1556. It's over.Copy !req
1557. What do you mean?Copy !req
1558. I mean, we failed.Copy !req
1559. Our parents aren't
going to change just
because we want them to.Copy !req
1560. What we did was wrong.Copy !req
1561. Wrong and stupid.Copy !req
1562. It's time to
let them out, guys.Copy !req
1563. No, wait a minute!Copy !req
1564. Look,
it wasn't stupid at all.Copy !req
1565. So, maybe we can't
fix everything,
you know,Copy !req
1566. but, who can?Copy !req
1567. But at least we tried, right?Copy !req
1568. I don't know if
your parents will separateCopy !req
1569. or divorce or live
happily ever after,Copy !req
1570. but we didn't fail.Copy !req
1571. I mean, at least
they know how we feel.Copy !req
1572. She's right, Groves.Copy !req
1573. Who'd have thought
we'd all be friends,
you know?Copy !req
1574. Hey, who says we're friends?Copy !req
1575. We're more like a family.Copy !req
1576. You guys,
group hug, group hug!Copy !req
1577. T.J.: God,
I love you all so much!Copy !req
1578. I love you!Copy !req
1579. The house
is completely surrounded!Copy !req
1580. Come out with your hands up!Copy !req
1581. What's going on?Copy !req
1582. Oh, no.Copy !req
1583. The cops! The cops?Copy !req
1584. Hey! Mayday!Copy !req
1585. The house is surrounded.Copy !req
1586. Come out with your hands up.Copy !req
1587. Fellas? Excuse me?Copy !req
1588. Did you hear that?
We're free.Copy !req
1589. Who is that? We're free!Copy !req
1590. We're free?Copy !req
1591. We're free!Copy !req
1592. I can't believe
that we're free!Copy !req
1593. Come on! Let's go.Copy !req
1594. Gwenna.Copy !req
1595. I forgive you. Come on.Copy !req
1596. Come on.Copy !req
1597. I'm sure that it's
not over yet for you.Copy !req
1598. I knew you two
still loved each otherCopy !req
1599. when you were fighting
over the fuse box.Copy !req
1600. You have so much passion.Copy !req
1601. Yeah, don't ever
lose that, honey, okay?Copy !req
1602. Move it, rookie.Copy !req
1603. Keep the house covered!Copy !req
1604. I repeat.
Put down your weapons,Copy !req
1605. and come out
with your hands up.Copy !req
1606. The house is
completely surrounded.Copy !req
1607. Prepare to enter, boys.Copy !req
1608. You have five seconds.Copy !req
1609. One.Copy !req
1610. Two.Copy !req
1611. Three.Copy !req
1612. Movement at the door!Copy !req
1613. Our parents are
locked in the...Copy !req
1614. Our parents are
locked in the basement.Copy !req
1615. And Mr. Finley is stuck
in one of the windows.Copy !req
1616. We are prepared to surrender!Copy !req
1617. Let's go!Copy !req
1618. Let's go, go, go!Copy !req
1619. Move!Copy !req
1620. Come on, move!Copy !req
1621. Come on. Let's go. Move.Copy !req
1622. We're in here!Copy !req
1623. Help us!Copy !req
1624. In here!Copy !req
1625. Behind the blanket,
you idiots.Copy !req
1626. Come on!Copy !req
1627. Look at this! It's some kind of cult!Copy !req
1628. Officer,
my husband's in the wall.Copy !req
1629. Does anybody have a cigarette
for my friend here?Copy !req
1630. Forget it, I quit.Copy !req
1631. Sir, sir, sir,
could you help me?Copy !req
1632. My husband is in the wall.Copy !req
1633. You're in very big trouble.
You know that, don't you?Copy !req
1634. Ned?Copy !req
1635. We're going to have
to get a statement
from your daughter.Copy !req
1636. I'll be there in a minute.Copy !req
1637. Ned? We have to talk.Copy !req
1638. I don't...Copy !req
1639. Don't talk. Look.Copy !req
1640. Just look!Copy !req
1641. Look at what
Grover's done for us.Copy !req
1642. Not this.
Just everything else.Copy !req
1643. I know we made mistakes, Ned.Copy !req
1644. I made most of them.Copy !req
1645. I don't think they would have
done any of thisCopy !req
1646. if we hadn't
done something right.Copy !req
1647. But you said...Copy !req
1648. But it doesn't
matter what I said.Copy !req
1649. Ned.Copy !req
1650. You love me very much.Copy !req
1651. And you love me, too.Copy !req
1652. Hold on a second, Ma. Grover!Copy !req
1653. Grover.Copy !req
1654. Grover.Copy !req
1655. Anything you say can...Copy !req
1656. You've also
the right to remain silent.Copy !req
1657. Anything you say...Copy !req
1658. Excuse me?Copy !req
1659. All right!Copy !req
1660. Oh, my God!
They're kissing!Copy !req
1661. Let's go bail out our boy.Copy !req
1662. Okay.Copy !req
1663. I'm stuck!Copy !req
1664. Excuse me, miss.Copy !req
1665. Son, do you
understand these rights...Copy !req
1666. Grover!
Do you have any idea...Copy !req
1667. Excuse me!Copy !req
1668. Excuse me.Copy !req
1669. Hello? Anybody?Copy !req
1670. We were charged
with kidnapping,
civil disobedienceCopy !req
1671. and practicing psychotherapy
without a license.Copy !req
1672. We all spent
a night in juvenile hall,Copy !req
1673. but then Mr. Krupp
came and got us out.Copy !req
1674. Mrs. Krupp said
she'd take himCopy !req
1675. for everything
he had if he didn't.Copy !req
1676. They later got divorced.Copy !req
1677. Mrs. Krupp went back
to law school, though.Copy !req
1678. They started up
their own law practice,Copy !req
1679. Krupp & Krupp,
attorneys at law.Copy !req
1680. Mr. and Mrs. Finley
are doing great.Copy !req
1681. They even passed
the two-year mark.Copy !req
1682. And Mrs. Finley is expecting
a new member of the family.Copy !req
1683. Mrs. Figler stopped
going out on Brooke's datesCopy !req
1684. and started going out
on her own.Copy !req
1685. All of us kids
still pretty much
hang out togetherCopy !req
1686. and things pretty much
got back to normal.Copy !req
1687. Well, not quite normal.Copy !req
1688. And Brooke and I are also
kind of dating right now.Copy !req
1689. It's weird, but great.Copy !req
1690. All right, Grover rules!Copy !req
1691. Mom and Dad found
a good shrink,Copy !req
1692. and they're still together.Copy !req
1693. In fact, right now,
me and StacyCopy !req
1694. are with them
on their second honeymoonCopy !req
1695. in Hawaii.Copy !req
1696. Stacy, can you zoom in
on that kiss?Copy !req
1697. Sure!Copy !req
1698. Hang on a second,
I almost forgot.Copy !req
1699. Mom and Dad
made us promise neverCopy !req
1700. to lock them
in the basement again.Copy !req
1701. We promised.Copy !req
1702. Because we figured
there's always the attic.Copy !req
1703. Come on!Copy !req
1704. Come on,
let's go to the beach
before it's too late.Copy !req
1705. Tomorrow,
the first thing we should do
is go windsurfingCopy !req
1706. and then go scuba diving.Copy !req
1707. All right,
should I stop making plans?Copy !req
1708. I think so!Copy !req