1. Turn it up!
Copy !req
2. Turn up the radio
Copy !req
3. I need the music
Give me some more
Copy !req
4. Come on, Boots,
you have three minutes left.
Copy !req
5. You can do this.
You came to me,
remember?
Copy !req
6. It's not about losing weight.
It's about
a lifestyle change.
Copy !req
7. Nick, you have a customer.
Copy !req
8. Like we practiced.
Copy !req
9. Right away, Terry.
Copy !req
10. 'Sup, dawg?
Copy !req
11. Oh. Ha! Funny.
Copy !req
12. It's the name
of the store.
Copy !req
13. What can I do
for you, man?
Copy !req
14. Bono has been doing
this for three days.
Copy !req
15. It's fucking
disgusting.
Copy !req
16. Bring him up here.
Copy !req
17. Bono, Bono, come.
Copy !req
18. Bono, up!
Copy !req
19. Don't yell at him
like that.
Copy !req
20. Okay. Okay. Cool.
You're gonna...
Copy !req
21. I might just look...
Copy !req
22. Do I know you?
Copy !req
23. I know you.
Copy !req
24. You're the singer
from Chocolate Lipstick.
Copy !req
25. You guys used to play
at the Jam Shack
on Friday nights.
Copy !req
26. Damn!
You remember that?
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27. You were so good.
Yeah.
Copy !req
28. Oh, my God,
you still singing?
Copy !req
29. Nah. That was
a long time ago.
Copy !req
30. Wow! What are you
doing now?
Copy !req
31. You get shit
out of dogs' asses.
Copy !req
32. That's great.
Copy !req
33. You own a BMW?
Copy !req
34. Yeah, can you tell?
Copy !req
35. Good boy.
Copy !req
36. Adam, it's Lou.
Don't hang up, okay?
Copy !req
37. It's not about money.
It's about making money.
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38. You and me, buddy.
Copy !req
39. Hi, it's me.
Copy !req
40. So,
I did everything according
to your stupid fucking plan.
Copy !req
41. I took everything
with the yellow stickers
Copy !req
42. and I left you
everything with
the red stickers.
Copy !req
43. There was some
stuff in your closet
with no stickers,
Copy !req
44. so I threw that
in a pile and burned it
in the backyard.
Copy !req
45. Seemed like
the right thing to do.
Copy !req
46. And thank you for claiming
that empty plastic bottle.
Copy !req
47. I was prepared to
fight you on that one.
Copy !req
48. Anyway, I left you
something on the counter.
Copy !req
49. It's from the heart.
Copy !req
50. Oh, and one last thing.
Um...
Copy !req
51. The TV had
a red sticker on it,
but I took it anyway.
Copy !req
52. Bye.
Copy !req
53. Just keeping
my head down.
Copy !req
54. Not getting shivved today.
Let's knock these reps out.
Mmm! Mmm!
Copy !req
55. Turn on a light, Jake.
Open a window.
Copy !req
56. Go outdoors.
Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
57. Why don't you
get out of the house
this weekend, huh?
Copy !req
58. What should I do
out of the house,
Uncle Adam?
Copy !req
59. I don't know. Anything
that corresponds with
reality.
Copy !req
60. Apply for a job.
Maybe try to go
to college.
Copy !req
61. I don't know.
That all sounds
kind of overrated.
Copy !req
62. You don't like it,
you can move back
in with your mom.
Copy !req
63. No, I can't actually.
She moved in with
her new boyfriend.
Copy !req
64. I will not be
anywhere near that.
Copy !req
65. She moved in with him?
Copy !req
66. Yeah, the taxidermist.
Copy !req
67. The taxidermist is
stuffing my mother.
Copy !req
68. Ugh! Kelly.
Copy !req
69. She's your sister.
You should call her
once in a while. Check in.
Copy !req
70. Well, maybe she
should check in with me.
Ever think of that?
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71. Yeah.
That's interesting.
Copy !req
72. Listen,
I've got a big court date
in a few minutes.
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73. If I miss it,
I'm kind of screwed.
Why do you waste your time
Copy !req
74. with that
Second Life bullshit?
Copy !req
75. Look at you,
you're still in jail.
You were in jail last week.
Copy !req
76. Yeah. I'm a prisoner.
It's called
"doing hard time."
Copy !req
77. Can't you be like
a warrior or a shaman
Copy !req
78. or an Orc
or some shit
like that?
Copy !req
79. No, no. In life,
you make choices,
Copy !req
80. and if you screw up
you have to pay
for those choices.
Copy !req
81. You're 20 years old,
you haven't made an important
choice in your life.
Copy !req
82. What are you mad about?
What is this?
Copy !req
83. I don't know if you noticed,
but Lily moved out.
Copy !req
84. Is that what all
the shuffling was?
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85. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
86. What did you do?
Copy !req
87. I didn't do anything.
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88. No fucking way!
Copy !req
89. You know I'm a dreamer
Copy !req
90. But my heart's of gold
Copy !req
91. I had to run away high
Copy !req
92. So I wouldn't come home low
Just when things went...
Copy !req
93. song
And you'll never
be left all alone
Copy !req
94. I'm on my way
Copy !req
95. Home sweet home
Copy !req
96. Tonight, tonight
I'm on my way
Copy !req
97. Home sweet home
Copy !req
98. Even among the gentle
prairie squirrels,
Copy !req
99. The mate-less male
is subjected to
a humiliating ritual.
Copy !req
100. Hello.
Copy !req
101. What?
Copy !req
102. Fuck!
Copy !req
103. Hey. Adam.
Copy !req
104. What's happening, man?
Hey.
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105. You all right?
Copy !req
106. Hi, Courtney.
Hey, how you doing?
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107. Nice to see you.
You, too.
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108. Yeah.
Not here.
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109. Long time.
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110. Yeah. You know...
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111. Work's been crazy and...
Copy !req
112. I know.
I called a couple of times.
Copy !req
113. Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
114. Very, very busy.
Copy !req
115. You think this is
a real situation
Copy !req
116. or just one of his
bullshit episodes?
Copy !req
117. I don't know.
Copy !req
118. You never know with Lou.
Copy !req
119. Well, hey, Adam,
how's your girlfriend?
Copy !req
120. Oh, really bad.
Copy !req
121. Okay.
Copy !req
122. Happy times.
Copy !req
123. Hi, folks.
I'm Dr. Jeff.
Lou's resting.
Copy !req
124. He's denying that it
was a suicide attempt
and medically he's stable,
Copy !req
125. so legally we can't
keep him here.
Copy !req
126. But we do think that
he should be monitored
for a few days.
Copy !req
127. Does he have any family?
Copy !req
128. Lou's family all
kind of hate him.
Copy !req
129. Okay.
Well, then I guess it's up
to you guys, his friends.
Copy !req
130. You are his friends, right?
Copy !req
131. It's like that friend
who's the asshole.
Copy !req
132. But he's our asshole,
you know?
Copy !req
133. Right.
Copy !req
134. Yeah.
Copy !req
135. Dr. Jefferies to radiology.
Copy !req
136. Lou.
Why would he do this?
Copy !req
137. Why? I mean,
make a list.
Copy !req
138. He's an alcoholic,
he's divorced.
Copy !req
139. Wife ran off with
that Jamaican guy.
Copy !req
140. He's failed at
every jive-ass money
hustle he's ever tried.
Copy !req
141. He's in
a mountain of debt.
Copy !req
142. He hates his mother.
Copy !req
143. He hates himself.
He hates everybody.
Copy !req
144. He has erectile
dysfunction.
Copy !req
145. He's got halitosis.
Copy !req
146. He's got
that runt ball.
Copy !req
147. Huh.
Copy !req
148. He said one of his balls
was shriveled up...
Copy !req
149. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
150. like a spoiled grape.
Copy !req
151. Wasn't it that
quarterback on the Bears
Copy !req
152. who had his ball crushed
on the field. Right?
Copy !req
153. Yeah.
Yeah.
Copy !req
154. Right, right.
'82? Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
155. He came back
from that, though.
Copy !req
156. Strong as ever.
Copy !req
157. Fuck yeah.
Copy !req
158. But I don't know about Lou.
Copy !req
159. It's just like...
No.
Copy !req
160. It's just like
an accumulation
of punishment.
Copy !req
161. Fuck you guys.
Copy !req
162. Oh!
Hey!
Copy !req
163. There he is. Hey.
Copy !req
164. I can fucking hear everything
you're saying, all right?
Copy !req
165. Look who's awake.
What's up, man?
Copy !req
166. Hey.
Hey, man.
Copy !req
167. What's up?
Copy !req
168. You look just
like my friend Nick.
Copy !req
169. And you look
like my friend Adam.
Copy !req
170. But you wouldn't be
those guys because
Copy !req
171. I've been calling
and calling them,
Copy !req
172. and they haven't
returned my calls.
Copy !req
173. So, listen, Violator.
Copy !req
174. Me and Nick
got a little surprise
for you.
Copy !req
175. Something special
that the three of us
can do.
Copy !req
176. Come on. You guys.
Copy !req
177. Are you curious?
No!
Copy !req
178. I didn't fucking try
and kill myself.
Copy !req
179. If I wanted to kill myself,
I'd fucking kill myself.
Copy !req
180. I'd be awesome at it.
Copy !req
181. A shotgun to the dick.
Copy !req
182. I'm glad you didn't do it.
Copy !req
183. It's good to see
you guys, anyway.
Copy !req
184. So, just out of curiosity,
what's the surprise?
Copy !req
185. Tell him.
Copy !req
186. Ko-di-ak...
Copy !req
187. Valley.
Copy !req
188. No fucking way!
Copy !req
189. Yes, sir.
Yeah.
Copy !req
190. Fucking K-Vals?
Holy shit!
Copy !req
191. Yes, sir. Bang!
Copy !req
192. We fucking ski, right?
We fucking rage.
Copy !req
193. Chimney Point
at the end of the night
Copy !req
194. with a bottle of scotch
to wash it all down. Oh!
Copy !req
195. And you guys are paying
for the whole thing?
Copy !req
196. Sure.
Yep.
Copy !req
197. Let's go tonight.
Copy !req
198. We go tomorrow.
Copy !req
199. Let's go now.
Let's go now.
Copy !req
200. I just got to
get rid of this thing.
It's really uncomfortable.
Copy !req
201. You should wait
for the nurse
or something.
Copy !req
202. I got it. I got it.
Copy !req
203. Hold on, Lou.
No, no, no, no.
Copy !req
204. Let somebody
do that for you.
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205. Oh, shit.
God.
Copy !req
206. Did I get that on you?
Copy !req
207. Yes, you did.
Damn it!
Copy !req
208. It's only pee.
Relax, it's only pee.
Copy !req
209. There's Lou.
Copy !req
210. Good,
he's drinking already.
Copy !req
211. Look at this shit.
Copy !req
212. Do you remember when I was 12
and he tried to bite me?
Copy !req
213. Yeah, but he...
You had that coming.
Copy !req
214. Hey, Violator.
Lou.
Copy !req
215. What the fuck
is he doing here?
Copy !req
216. It's nice to
see you, too, Lou.
Copy !req
217. "Nice to see you, too, Lou."
Fuck you, Jacob.
Copy !req
218. You suck and you know it.
Copy !req
219. You just ruined
my fucking weekend.
Copy !req
220. Hey, Lily will come back.
Trust me.
Copy !req
221. No, she won't.
No, she won't.
Copy !req
222. No, she won't.
No, she won't.
Copy !req
223. She basically
thinks I'm an asshole,
you know?
Copy !req
224. Like
a completely self-absorbed,
delusional...
Copy !req
225. She's got a point.
narcissistic.
Copy !req
226. Fuck you.
You're better off.
Copy !req
227. Take my word for it.
Look at me.
Copy !req
228. Fuck wives, man.
Fuck kids.
Copy !req
229. Lock it down
or they will take
everything from you.
Copy !req
230. God damn it!
Who the fuck are
you texting with?
Copy !req
231. Just a friend of mine.
Copy !req
232. Male or fucking female?
Copy !req
233. For your information,
I've had
a lot of girlfriends.
Copy !req
234. Hot ones.
Copy !req
235. You have had
lots of boyfriends.
Gay ones.
Copy !req
236. Hey, hey, hey,
check this out.
Copy !req
237. I brought a regulation bar
for tubbing tonight.
Copy !req
238. Nice.
Copy !req
239. I've got vodka,
fucking Tequilles O'Neals.
Copy !req
240. You guys
are gonna love this.
Check this out.
Copy !req
241. Chernobly.
Copy !req
242. It's like
the Russian Red Bull.
Copy !req
243. It's got shit in it
that's not even legal here.
Copy !req
244. Like what shit?
Copy !req
245. How the fuck am I
supposed to know, dude?
Copy !req
246. But it's illegal.
Copy !req
247. Hey, why didn't we
just go to Pinnacle?
Copy !req
248. It would have taken,
like, half the time.
Copy !req
249. You wanna go
to Kodiak Valley,
trust me.
Copy !req
250. You're at
the right age for it.
Copy !req
251. Really?
Copy !req
252. Yeah. Nobody gets carded
and everybody gets laid.
Copy !req
253. K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!
K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!
Copy !req
254. Oh, shit! K-Val!
Copy !req
255. This? This is
the coolest town ever?
Copy !req
256. Fuck!
That used to be
Papa Enzo's.
Copy !req
257. I broke up with
Jenny Stedmeyer there.
Copy !req
258. What made you break
up with her, again?
Copy !req
259. I don't know.
We swapped virginities
junior year.
Copy !req
260. All we did was
listen to records
and have sex.
Copy !req
261. And she was epic,
I mean she was...
She was epic.
Copy !req
262. Yeah, man.
She was hot.
Copy !req
263. And then when I
broke up with her,
she was so mad,
Copy !req
264. she practically
stabbed me in the eye
with a fork.
Copy !req
265. Actually, she did stab me
in the eye with a fork.
Copy !req
266. She was a one-percenter, man.
Copy !req
267. Yeah.
Copy !req
268. All downhill from there.
Copy !req
269. That was a big one.
First love.
Copy !req
270. The one that got away.
Copy !req
271. The great white buffalo.
Copy !req
272. Yeah.
Yeah.
Copy !req
273. The great what?
Copy !req
274. Great white buffalo.
Copy !req
275. Why are you guys
whispering?
Copy !req
276. Great white buffalo.
Copy !req
277. That was really helpful,
you guys. Thank you.
Copy !req
278. Look at this place.
Copy !req
279. I'm gonna make
a prediction right now.
Copy !req
280. One of us is gonna
start writing a novel,
Copy !req
281. and then we all
get snowed in,
Copy !req
282. and then Lou's gonna
ax murder all of us.
Copy !req
283. Motherfuck.
Copy !req
284. What's that smell?
Copy !req
285. Fucking cats.
Copy !req
286. Kind of a lot of cats.
This sucks.
Copy !req
287. Hi.
Hi.
Copy !req
288. You got a reservation
Copy !req
289. For Webber-Agnew?
Copy !req
290. Sorry.
What was that
name again?
Copy !req
291. Webber-Agnew.
Webber and Agnew.
Copy !req
292. I got a "Nick Webber-Agnew."
Copy !req
293. I'm sorry, excuse me. What?
What did you just say?
Copy !req
294. Webber-Agnew?
Copy !req
295. Webber-fucking-Agnew?
Copy !req
296. You took your
wife's last name?
You're a fucking hyphenate?
Copy !req
297. A lot of dudes
are doing it.
It's progressive.
Copy !req
298. No. No dudes
are doing it.
Copy !req
299. You look like
a progressive guy.
Is that progressive?
Copy !req
300. Would you do that? No.
No.
Copy !req
301. And he has a goatee.
Copy !req
302. Does this guy
seem a little
imbalanced to you?
Copy !req
303. No. Come on.
Copy !req
304. He's right there.
Shut up.
Copy !req
305. Let me give you
a hand with that.
Copy !req
306. Hey!
Copy !req
307. I am not going
to tell you again!
Copy !req
308. I can handle it.
Copy !req
309. This guy's
a fucking dick.
Copy !req
310. Shh. He's disabled.
He can hear you.
Copy !req
311. So what? He's exempt from
common fucking courtesy
Copy !req
312. 'cause he can't start
a round of applause?
Copy !req
313. He's gotta jerk
off one-handed?
Copy !req
314. I mean, I certainly
don't take my hands
Copy !req
315. and I put them together
and oil them up...
Copy !req
316. Hey, 420.
Our old room.
Check it out.
Copy !req
317. That's okay man.
Oh! Those are mine.
Copy !req
318. I'll just get those.
Copy !req
319. This is the part
where you tip the guy
that helped you out.
Copy !req
320. I'm not the guy that...
Copy !req
321. Nick, pay the man
something.
Copy !req
322. I got it.
Don't worry.
Copy !req
323. This place
looks like shit!
Copy !req
324. What happened
to that guy?
Copy !req
325. Check this shit out.
It's still there.
Copy !req
326. Adam sucks cocks 'n' dicks.
Copy !req
327. It's your best work.
Copy !req
328. Fucking burned you.
Copy !req
329. Burned!
Copy !req
330. Hey, guys,
come take a look at this.
Copy !req
331. We got a hot tub.
Copy !req
332. Sweet Jesus!
Poor little fella.
Copy !req
333. This is obviously
unacceptable, right?
Copy !req
334. We call downstairs,
get somebody to fix this?
Copy !req
335. Is anybody else hungry?
Copy !req
336. A little school spirit
this time, huh?
Copy !req
337. We're in, man.
Just play it like
you fucking mean it.
Copy !req
338. Like that.
Yeah.
Copy !req
339. Yes,
I would like to get a hooker
to fuck me and my friends.
Copy !req
340. What? Adam,
I'm not doing that.
Copy !req
341. Whatever, semantics.
Copy !req
342. I want an escort
to escort our penises
into her vagina.
Copy !req
343. I want the girl
in the picture, too.
Copy !req
344. No tomfoolery.
Wake her up,
I don't care.
Copy !req
345. Will you listen to him?
Copy !req
346. Does she do four?
Copy !req
347. What about three?
Copy !req
348. Okay. Jacob,
you're out.
Okay. Good.
Copy !req
349. I need $3,000.
Copy !req
350. I'm not in.
I'm married.
Copy !req
351. Adam, I need $2,000.
Me and you, buddy.
Come on.
Copy !req
352. I'm out there, Violator.
Copy !req
353. Can I call you back, sir?
Copy !req
354. Okay. Thank you. Bye.
Sir?
Copy !req
355. Let's do something fun.
Let's create a memory, huh?
Copy !req
356. Let's get some cocaine
and break into a school.
Copy !req
357. Or steal a cop car
or some shit, huh?
Copy !req
358. Do you have Ritalin?
No.
Copy !req
359. Don't fucking lie to me.
Every one of you people
have Ritalin.
Copy !req
360. No, I don't.
Copy !req
361. I'm sorry.
You probably do
have Ritalin.
Copy !req
362. I have some Ativan,
but it's different.
Copy !req
363. Let's stick it
up our asses.
Just give it to him.
Copy !req
364. No. It's not
a suppository.
Copy !req
365. It doesn't matter.
You crush it, you put it
in a warm paper towel,
Copy !req
366. run it under warm
some water and you stick it
right up your ass. That works.
Copy !req
367. You put the paper towel
up your ass, too?
Copy !req
368. You crush up the...
Hey, I got an idea,
Copy !req
369. why don't we
just play quarters?
What?
Copy !req
370. I don't know what
the fuck I'm gonna do.
I'm getting really sad.
Copy !req
371. You know what
I'm talking about?
Copy !req
372. I'm gonna go to
the bathroom and be alone
with my own thoughts.
Copy !req
373. Who knows what's
gonna happen up there.
Copy !req
374. Who knows
what's gonna happen.
Copy !req
375. You better plan
something fun.
Copy !req
376. Jesus!
Copy !req
377. Pussies.
I'm going dancing.
Copy !req
378. I don't know, man.
Maybe coming here
was a bad idea.
Copy !req
379. Yeah.
If he kills himself,
can we go home?
Copy !req
380. Hard to believe
this is the very room
Copy !req
381. we had some of
the best weekends
of our lives.
Copy !req
382. Really?
In this room right here?
Copy !req
383. How?
Copy !req
384. We were young.
We had momentum.
We were winning.
Copy !req
385. We were best friends.
Copy !req
386. What do you mean,
"were" best friends?
Copy !req
387. You know what I mean, man.
Everybody seemed to care more.
Copy !req
388. Everything seemed
to matter more back then.
Copy !req
389. Whatever.
Copy !req
390. Check it out.
They must have fixed it.
Copy !req
391. Come on!
Copy !req
392. How's the water, Violator?
Oh, man.
Copy !req
393. You guys gotta get in here.
It's gonna
fucking change you.
Copy !req
394. Wait, why are you naked?
Copy !req
395. You're all getting naked?
Copy !req
396. Yep.
Copy !req
397. You don't think
it's a little weird,
Copy !req
398. a bunch of guys
just piling up
Copy !req
399. in a big bathtub
together, naked?
Copy !req
400. Are you afraid
that some of these
people might see you?
Copy !req
401. I'm sorry.
If I'm being honest,
Copy !req
402. I'm not totally
comfortable being around
a bunch of other naked dudes.
Copy !req
403. It's called
male bonding, okay?
Copy !req
404. Haven't you even
seen Wild Hogs?
Copy !req
405. Fine, get us some snacks.
Copy !req
406. You know what? Fuck it.
Copy !req
407. I'm leaving
my underwear on.
Copy !req
408. Yeah. Yeah.
Very nice.
Shut up!
Copy !req
409. Damn, it's good to be here
with you all again, man.
Copy !req
410. It's good to be back
here with you guys.
Yep.
Copy !req
411. I want to toast
to the good times.
Copy !req
412. And you, too, young blood.
Come on in, here.
Copy !req
413. Yeah!
Copy !req
414. This style seems wild
Copy !req
415. Wait before you treat me
like a stepchild
Copy !req
416. Let me tell you why
they got me on file
Copy !req
417. 'Cause I give you
what you lack
Copy !req
418. Come right and exact
I stand accused of doing harm
Copy !req
419. 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb
Copy !req
420. Come on
Come on, louder
Copy !req
421. Come on
Come on
Copy !req
422. Go, Violator!
I'm gonna throw up.
Copy !req
423. Snap out of it!
Out the tub!
Out the tub!
Copy !req
424. I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Copy !req
425. I am a rock hard trooper
To the bone, the bone,
the bone
Copy !req
426. Full grown
Consider me stone
Copy !req
427. Once again and
I say it for you to know
Copy !req
428. The troop is always ready
I yell "Geronimo"
Copy !req
429. Your CIA,
you see I ain't kiddin'
Copy !req
430. Both King and X
They got rid of both
Copy !req
431. And not the braggin'
or boastin' and plus
Copy !req
432. It ain't no secret why
they're tappin' my phone
Copy !req
433. Although I can't
keep it a secret
Copy !req
434. So I decided to kick it, yo
Copy !req
435. And yes it weighs a ton
Copy !req
436. I say it once again
Copy !req
437. Tappin' my phone
They never leave me alone
Copy !req
438. 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb
Copy !req
439. Hey, little buddy.
Copy !req
440. Dude.
Copy !req
441. Where did the squirrel go?
Copy !req
442. Yeah. Yeah!
Copy !req
443. This is the
black diamond?
Shit.
Copy !req
444. Terrifying.
That's all
you got?
Copy !req
445. I don't remember this.
What do you
think, boys?
Copy !req
446. Tips down.
Copy !req
447. Tips fucking down,
right away.
Copy !req
448. Let's ride.
Copy !req
449. I feel 19 again!
Copy !req
450. What is that?
Copy !req
451. Stop it, Lou.
Copy !req
452. Stop it, Lou!
Copy !req
453. Whoo!
Copy !req
454. Coming through!
Copy !req
455. You goddamn kids!
Copy !req
456. Slow down!
Hey!
Copy !req
457. Yard sale, bitches!
Copy !req
458. Fuck!
Copy !req
459. We dead.
Copy !req
460. Are you guys alive?
Holy fuck.
Copy !req
461. By all counts we should be
pretty fucked up
right now, but I...
Copy !req
462. I kind of feel great.
Copy !req
463. I feel crazy right now.
Copy !req
464. I feel fantastic!
Copy !req
465. I wanna fuck something!
Copy !req
466. There they are.
Copy !req
467. I see it, Chaz. Thanks.
Copy !req
468. What is that
one plank thing
that guy's got?
Copy !req
469. I don't care.
It's going up his ass.
Copy !req
470. Way to go, rookie!
Copy !req
471. Wow! Nice.
Copy !req
472. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa...
Copy !req
473. Those are
the kind of ski shenanigans
I don't allow on my mountain.
Copy !req
474. Yeah. Come on, guys.
Copy !req
475. What are you
looking at, Nancy?
Copy !req
476. No. I mean...
Copy !req
477. Hey, look,
it's the douche bag
from Karate Kid III.
Copy !req
478. I know that guy.
Copy !req
479. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
480. Is there some kind
of weird retro thing
going on this weekend?
Copy !req
481. Can't get any bars.
Copy !req
482. Morty!
Yeah, it's Chuck.
Copy !req
483. You're never gonna
believe where I'm
calling you from, man.
Copy !req
484. I'm on a mountain
on my phone! Yeah.
Copy !req
485. Yeah, well, a bet's a bet.
I want my $2.
Copy !req
486. I'm telling you,
something weird
is going on.
Copy !req
487. Demand your MTV.
Copy !req
488. I want my MTV.
Copy !req
489. S-A-F-E-T-Y
Copy !req
490. Safe, dance!
Copy !req
491. I love your hair.
Copy !req
492. I have a question.
Copy !req
493. can still
tell me that's true.
Copy !req
494. But the facts
and the evidence
tell me it is...
Copy !req
495. Dude is rocking
a cassette player.
Copy !req
496. Just relax.
I'm sure there's
a reasonable explanation
Copy !req
497. for all this shit.
Don't fucking
tell me to relax.
Copy !req
498. I said relax
for a minute.
Copy !req
499. Leg warmers?
Copy !req
500. Jheri curl?
Copy !req
501. "Where's the beef?"
Copy !req
502. Excuse me, miss,
what color is
Michael Jackson?
Copy !req
503. Black.
Copy !req
504. Hold on! Sorry.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Copy !req
505. Nick, come on, man!
Nick! Nick!
Copy !req
506. Who the fuck is that?
Copy !req
507. That's probably
Ashton Kolchak right now
Copy !req
508. telling us we've been
punked or whatever.
Copy !req
509. Okay.
Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
510. Hey. Hey, guys.
I've got your luggage.
Copy !req
511. He's got both arms.
Get him!
Copy !req
512. What?
Check his arm.
Copy !req
513. Are you raping?
Wait! Hold on!
Are we raping him?
Copy !req
514. Nobody's raping anybody!
Copy !req
515. Where's your missing arm,
motherfucker?
Copy !req
516. Hey! God!
That's my arm!
Copy !req
517. It's fake!
It's real!
Copy !req
518. It's got freckles on it
and shit!
Copy !req
519. Do I really got to be
the asshole that says
Copy !req
520. we got in this thing
and went back in time?
Copy !req
521. It must be some kind of
hot tub time machine.
Copy !req
522. Wow, my old stuff.
Copy !req
523. Look at this
shit, man.
Copy !req
524. You have a bong?
Copy !req
525. I did.
Copy !req
526. "Eddie Lives."
This shirt got me so
much fucking pussy.
Copy !req
527. You wanna see
what got a lot of pussy?
Copy !req
528. What's the tape recorder for?
Copy !req
529. Recording tape.
I gotta take a piss.
Copy !req
530. This jacket
right here, baby.
Holy fuck!
Copy !req
531. What are you,
Hunter S. Thompson?
Copy !req
532. I thought I was.
Is that coke?
Copy !req
533. What the fuck
you think it is?
Baby powder?
Copy !req
534. Wait. How is
this happening?
Copy !req
535. Can we talk about this
for a minute?
Copy !req
536. Holy fuck! Winterfest '86.
We were here, man.
Copy !req
537. Guys.
We are here.
Copy !req
538. What if we run
into ourselves?
Copy !req
539. Guys!
Copy !req
540. We see
ourselves and we blow up
and explode or some shit.
Copy !req
541. Get in here!
Copy !req
542. Didn't you all
fucking see Timecop?
Copy !req
543. God damn it!
Get the fuck in
here right now!
Copy !req
544. Nobody wants to see
your giant shit, Lou.
Copy !req
545. What, man?
Copy !req
546. Yeah, we're not gonna
run into ourselves.
Copy !req
547. We are ourselves.
Copy !req
548. Why are we in
our young bodies and you
in your regular body?
Copy !req
549. I don't know.
Copy !req
550. Shouldn't you
be invisible?
Copy !req
551. Or swimming around
some guy's ball sack?
Copy !req
552. I know.
Because you guys exist
here and I don't.
Copy !req
553. Hey, why are you
flickering?
Copy !req
554. What?
What? What?
Who flickered?
Copy !req
555. He did.
He's flickering.
Copy !req
556. I need you to touch
my arm or something
Copy !req
557. to see if I'm
still real, okay?
Copy !req
558. Just see if you can put
your hand through me.
Copy !req
559. Okay.
Copy !req
560. That's good.
Copy !req
561. I'm physically still here.
That's good, I think.
Copy !req
562. You look like Kid 'N Play.
Copy !req
563. That's actually two people.
Copy !req
564. I knew this trip
was a bad idea.
Copy !req
565. Every time I
hang out with you, man,
it's some kind of shit storm.
Copy !req
566. I got guilted into
coming on this trip
Copy !req
567. and now I'm back
in the fucking '80s.
Copy !req
568. And I hate this decade!
Copy !req
569. Maybe it's your
fucking fault!
Copy !req
570. You're a fucking
insurance salesman,
you're practically the devil.
Copy !req
571. Guys! This is
scientifically possible.
Copy !req
572. Oh, my God.
Okay, Professor Hawking,
tell me in your robot voice
Copy !req
573. how this is
scientifically possible.
Copy !req
574. All right,
I write Stargate fan fiction,
Copy !req
575. so I think I know
what I'm talking
about right now.
Copy !req
576. I seriously
almost passed out,
you're such a dork.
Copy !req
577. Okay. The tub is
obviously some kind
of energy vortex, right?
Copy !req
578. Like a black hole.
Copy !req
579. But, instead of
being in space,
Copy !req
580. it's in a hot tub.
Copy !req
581. Time is not linear,
we just perceive it
that way!
Copy !req
582. What?
Like The Terminator!
Copy !req
583. It's cyclical, right?
Copy !req
584. The machines send
Schwarzenegger back
to kill Sarah Connor
Copy !req
585. so that John Connor
could never be born.
Copy !req
586. But if John Connor
don't send Michael Biehn
back to protect her,
Copy !req
587. then they never fuck,
and John Connor ain't born
in the first place!
Copy !req
588. It checks out.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Copy !req
589. Wait, wait,
check the fucking drawer.
See if the carving's there.
Copy !req
590. Check the fucking drawer.
Copy !req
591. Fuck!
Copy !req
592. It's gone.
Copy !req
593. This shit is real.
Copy !req
594. The carving you
made 20 years ago,
Copy !req
595. about me sucking
cocks and dicks,
Copy !req
596. it's not there.
Wait.
Copy !req
597. Is "cocks" still there?
Copy !req
598. Nothing.
I mean, it's not there.
Copy !req
599. What about "dicks"?
Copy !req
600. Neither "cocks,"
nor "dicks," nor "sucks."
Copy !req
601. Oh, God!
Copy !req
602. That's it.
We stuck in
the fucking '80s!
Copy !req
603. How am I supposed
to get a job?
Copy !req
604. I'm so scared.
Copy !req
605. Looks like you
burned out your...
Copy !req
606. Heck, you fried
your timing crossover.
Copy !req
607. Would you mind
putting that down, sir,
Copy !req
608. that coal shovel,
before somebody gets hurt?
Copy !req
609. Did somebody call you?
Copy !req
610. Excuse me one minute.
Copy !req
611. Who ever calls us?
Copy !req
612. And who answers
when the call comes
from within? Huh?
Copy !req
613. I thought
maybe I could pull the part
from one of the other tubs.
Copy !req
614. But it turns out this is
a very special model
that you have here.
Copy !req
615. You've got to be
very careful, I tell you.
Copy !req
616. One little thing is changed,
the whole system
can go haywire.
Copy !req
617. Do you understand
what I'm saying?
Copy !req
618. The whole system
can go haywire
Copy !req
619. if you change
one little thing.
Copy !req
620. Wait a minute.
We need that to
get back in time?
Copy !req
621. Well, you're back here.
Copy !req
622. I mean,
I can tell you've all been
to Kodiak Valley before.
Copy !req
623. I haven't.
Maybe not her,
Copy !req
624. but I know that
you were here.
Copy !req
625. You know what's
going on here,
don't you, old man?
Copy !req
626. Yes, I do.
Copy !req
627. Your tub is on the fritz.
It'd behoove you to fix it.
Copy !req
628. What?
Copy !req
629. It's working.
Copy !req
630. Damn.
I think it's still broke.
Copy !req
631. Shit.
Copy !req
632. Where'd he go?
Copy !req
633. That motherfucker's
in on it, man.
Copy !req
634. What was all that
cryptic shit he was saying
Copy !req
635. about not changing
one little thing?
Copy !req
636. I know exactly what he meant.
He was talking about
the butterfly effect.
Copy !req
637. That was
a great fucking movie.
Copy !req
638. One little change
has a ripple effect
Copy !req
639. and it affects
everything else.
Copy !req
640. Like, a butterfly
floats its wings
Copy !req
641. and Tokyo explodes,
or there's a tsunami in,
like, somewhere.
Copy !req
642. Dude, yes, exactly.
Or you step on a bug
Copy !req
643. and the fucking
Internet's never invented.
Copy !req
644. Then you have
to talk to girls
with your mouth.
Copy !req
645. Yeah. I was more
concerned about bigger
consequences,
Copy !req
646. like me not being born.
Copy !req
647. Oh, yeah.
No, I don't care
about that.
Copy !req
648. The point is,
what did we do
20 years ago?
Copy !req
649. Let's figure it
out right now.
Copy !req
650. We gotta do
the exact same thing.
Copy !req
651. I had that gig.
That's right.
Copy !req
652. You got up on stage
and you were wildly
mediocre.
Copy !req
653. And that led to
nothing of a career.
Copy !req
654. Okay, first of all,
fuck you, motherfucker!
Copy !req
655. I could have had a career,
but I got married
and I went a different way.
Copy !req
656. Which way is that?
The way that sucked?
Copy !req
657. Didn't you also
bang that groupie?
Copy !req
658. What was her name?
Tara.
Copy !req
659. You banged her.
You got to
go do that again.
Copy !req
660. I did do that.
But, fuck, no,
I'm married!
Copy !req
661. I can't go around
banging girls in hot tubs.
Copy !req
662. Nick, it's 1986.
You can't cheat on someone
you don't know yet.
Copy !req
663. You haven't
even met Courtney.
Copy !req
664. Lucifer,
itinerary please.
Copy !req
665. Uh... Nothing
really happened.
Copy !req
666. I actually
fucked a chick, too.
So I'll just do that.
Copy !req
667. I seem to remember
you getting your ass whooped.
Copy !req
668. Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Copy !req
669. That ski patrol dude
pummeled you
like it was his job.
Copy !req
670. Yeah, no.
I don't remember it
that way.
Copy !req
671. I do.
Copy !req
672. Yeah. He fucked you up.
You cried and peed.
Copy !req
673. Fuck this, man!
This is fucking bullshit!
Copy !req
674. Would you just
think of somebody other
than yourself, man?
Copy !req
675. There's four of us.
Copy !req
676. It's the fucking '80s, guys!
Copy !req
677. Let's do what we wanna do.
Free love!
Copy !req
678. That's
the '60s, dipshit.
Copy !req
679. No, we had, like,
Reagan and AIDS.
Copy !req
680. Let's get the fuck
out of here, okay?
Copy !req
681. Do the right thing, Violator.
Copy !req
682. God damn it!
This is fucking bullshit!
Copy !req
683. Tonight's the night
you broke up
with Jenny Stedmeyer.
Copy !req
684. Shit.
Yeah, you got stabbed
Copy !req
685. in the fucking
eyeball tonight!
Copy !req
686. Hey, man,
do you want backup?
Copy !req
687. I can't,
the butterflies
won't let me.
Copy !req
688. Yo, Adam?
You guys in there?
Copy !req
689. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
690. There you are. Hey!
Copy !req
691. How come you guys
didn't meet us at
the chair lift this morning?
Copy !req
692. You were going to
show me some moves.
Copy !req
693. Hi, baby.
I missed you.
Copy !req
694. I must have forgot.
Copy !req
695. Perv. That's from Mandy.
Copy !req
696. Hey, new guy.
What's up?
Hey.
Copy !req
697. So we're in 214.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Copy !req
698. Okay.
Meet me in
my room, okay?
Copy !req
699. Okay.
Okay.
Copy !req
700. Love the PJs, Nick.
You look hot.
Copy !req
701. Poison's tonight.
Copy !req
702. Wow!
Copy !req
703. I don't remember her
being that fucking beautiful.
Copy !req
704. And tight.
She's so tight.
Copy !req
705. She's really
fucking tight!
Copy !req
706. She's the great
white buffalo, man.
Copy !req
707. Great white buffalo.
Great white buffalo.
Copy !req
708. Don't start that.
Copy !req
709. Great white buffalo.
Great white buffalo.
Copy !req
710. Why did I ever
break up with her?
Copy !req
711. Why would I
break up with her?
Copy !req
712. Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
Copy !req
713. 'Cause you have to
do it again. Right?
Copy !req
714. Right, right, right.
Copy !req
715. All right. We're
all gonna meet back here.
Copy !req
716. Hopefully that hot tub's fixed
and we can get the fuck out
of here.
Copy !req
717. Okay, let's party
like it's 1986.
Copy !req
718. All right. On three?
Copy !req
719. One, two, three...
One, two, three...
Copy !req
720. Hot tub time machine!
Wait...
Copy !req
721. What are we...
What's the...
Copy !req
722. Who said,
"Hot tub time machine?"
Copy !req
723. We didn't tell you
about the new thing,
with our hands?
Copy !req
724. No.
On three, we always...
Copy !req
725. From now on,
we're gonna say,
"Hot tub time machine."
Copy !req
726. I told you, I think
that's fucking stupid.
Copy !req
727. You were in
the bathroom.
Copy !req
728. No, but this is a real
bonding event for us.
Copy !req
729. This doesn't happen
all the time.
Copy !req
730. Come on.
I'm telling you, it's stupid.
Copy !req
731. Do it once.
Do what you want to do.
Copy !req
732. It would have been
3-to-1 anyway.
Copy !req
733. One, two, three...
Copy !req
734. hot tub time machine!
Copy !req
735. It felt good. Admit it.
Copy !req
736. Hey!
Copy !req
737. Let's get
this party started!
Copy !req
738. Who is carrying
me home tonight?
Copy !req
739. Mom?
Copy !req
740. Sweet fucking Lord.
Copy !req
741. Kelly.
Copy !req
742. Hey, bro, Nicholas.
Copy !req
743. Hey, girl.
Copy !req
744. Who's the geek?
Copy !req
745. He's your son.
Copy !req
746. That's not appropriate.
Copy !req
747. I'm sun...
Sunshine.
Copy !req
748. Sunshine.
Copy !req
749. 'Cause I'm here to
brighten your day.
Copy !req
750. That's Jacob.
Your...
Copy !req
751. He's totally cool.
Copy !req
752. He doesn't look cool.
Copy !req
753. He's not that cool.
Hey, Kelly.
Copy !req
754. Lou Dorchen. Yeah...
Copy !req
755. You don't remember this?
Copy !req
756. I don't remember
everything.
Copy !req
757. What the fuck, man?
This is freaking me
the fuck out.
Copy !req
758. You freak out every time
you leave the basement.
Copy !req
759. All right, kiddies,
get your snow boots on
Copy !req
760. because tonight
there is gonna be
a blizzard.
Copy !req
761. Really? It looked
pretty clear out.
Copy !req
762. Anybody wanna go
for a little sleigh ride?
Copy !req
763. You can't do cocaine!
It's so unhealthy for you.
Copy !req
764. Kelly, in public?
Copy !req
765. Whatever.
Copy !req
766. I'm gonna go to a party
at the ski patrol house,
Copy !req
767. I'm gonna find
a sexy instructor
Copy !req
768. and I'm gonna wax
his fucking pole.
Copy !req
769. Later, homos.
Don't drink my
fucking drink.
Copy !req
770. Ugh!
Copy !req
771. Hey, Adam?
Copy !req
772. What she means
is that she works at
the ski rental place, right?
Copy !req
773. And that's her job,
is cleaning the poles.
Copy !req
774. I could be off, but I think
it's in reference
to blowing a dude.
Copy !req
775. Thank you, Nick.
But that's...
You don't need to...
Copy !req
776. Or fucking a dude.
Because the wax,
Copy !req
777. it can be
interpreted
either way.
Copy !req
778. She was a free spirit,
you know?
Copy !req
779. Or maybe she's the pole
and there's two dudes
that she's waxing.
Copy !req
780. Let's just
get it done, man.
Come on.
Copy !req
781. Hey, Lou.
What?
Copy !req
782. Did my mom, like,
sleep with
a bunch of dudes?
Copy !req
783. I don't know.
Shut up.
Copy !req
784. But she seems
kind of slutty,
right?
Copy !req
785. Does she seem
that way to you?
Copy !req
786. It's just, she never
told me who my dad is.
Copy !req
787. It could be any
one of these guys.
Copy !req
788. 'Cause I was born, like,
nine months from now.
Copy !req
789. Yeah?
So what does
that mean?
Copy !req
790. It means do the math,
dipshit.
Copy !req
791. I could have been
conceived this weekend.
Copy !req
792. Oh, shit.
Check this out.
Copy !req
793. That's that fucking bellhop.
I hate that guy.
Copy !req
794. This must be where
he loses the arm!
Copy !req
795. Shit!
Thank you!
Copy !req
796. I think
we should tell him.
This is gruesome.
Copy !req
797. Don't you dare
fucking tell him.
Copy !req
798. You'll screw
the time thing up.
Copy !req
799. Yeah!
Copy !req
800. Yes!
Copy !req
801. What the fuck?
Copy !req
802. Yeah!
Copy !req
803. Boo! We just got
fucking robbed.
Copy !req
804. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
805. He's great, man.
Come on!
Copy !req
806. Jenny.
Copy !req
807. Jenny?
Copy !req
808. I'm in the bathroom.
Come in.
Copy !req
809. What do you think?
Copy !req
810. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
811. What? Do I look fat?
Copy !req
812. No. You look
really beautiful.
Copy !req
813. Aw! Thank you.
Copy !req
814. How about me,
do I look different?
Copy !req
815. Do I look kind of older?
Copy !req
816. No.
Copy !req
817. You look cute, though.
Copy !req
818. God, I can't stop
thinking about last night.
Copy !req
819. It was like frigging hot.
Copy !req
820. It was?
What did we do?
I don't remember.
Copy !req
821. You lasted,
like, 10 minutes.
Copy !req
822. Oh!
Copy !req
823. Good, good.
Copy !req
824. And I was good.
Copy !req
825. I think I came. I think.
I can't even tell you
what it was like.
Copy !req
826. I got some vague
recollection of that.
Copy !req
827. Wanna maybe just sit
and talk for a minute?
Copy !req
828. "Talk."
Copy !req
829. Well, I mean, you know,
it's just so good
to see you again.
Copy !req
830. It's not you. It's me.
Copy !req
831. Lamp.
Copy !req
832. You know what,
I think we should
go to Poison now.
Copy !req
833. You're weird today.
Copy !req
834. I know.
You are funny.
Copy !req
835. Let me just get dressed.
Copy !req
836. Okay.
Copy !req
837. Wow!
Copy !req
838. Oh, man!
Copy !req
839. This is trippy.
Copy !req
840. What's up?
Copy !req
841. Man, I can't even remember
the last time I saw you guys.
Copy !req
842. Yesterday.
Copy !req
843. Oh, yeah. Yesterday.
Copy !req
844. Yep.
Copy !req
845. It's not cheating.
It's not cheating.
It's 1986.
Copy !req
846. You don't even
know Courtney yet.
Copy !req
847. You know, it's okay
if you're scared, Lou.
Copy !req
848. I'm not scared, idiot.
I'm fucking pissed.
Copy !req
849. I have a full head of hair
and a functioning penis,
Copy !req
850. and I'm looking for
some guy to drill me
in the fucking jaw.
Copy !req
851. We're not gonna
find him here, anyway.
Copy !req
852. I don't even remember
what he looks like.
Copy !req
853. Walk much, faggot?
Sorry.
Copy !req
854. What? No, don't touch me.
The fuck, you're sorry.
Copy !req
855. You scuffed up my Jordans.
Copy !req
856. You wanna go for it?
Come on, take a shot, pussy.
Wanna party?
Copy !req
857. Wanna be a hero?
Copy !req
858. And here it comes.
Copy !req
859. Yeah, you gonna cry?
You gonna cry, titty baby?
Copy !req
860. You gonna fucking cry?
Look at him he's crying.
Copy !req
861. Your fucking bag
is mine now.
Copy !req
862. Is that it?
Copy !req
863. No.
Copy !req
864. No, I yell back at him
Copy !req
865. and I challenge
him to a rematch
at midnight saying,
Copy !req
866. "You bring your friends
and I'll bring mine."
Copy !req
867. And my friends
don't fucking show up.
Copy !req
868. So I get pummeled
by six guys instead of one.
Copy !req
869. All right, fantastic.
Let's do this.
Copy !req
870. Lou, come on.
You have to.
Copy !req
871. Hey, Blaine.
Copy !req
872. Is that all you got?
Pussy.
Copy !req
873. Oh, God. Yeah.
Copy !req
874. I'll never go back.
I'll never go back.
Copy !req
875. Are you crying?
Copy !req
876. No.
Copy !req
877. It's the water
splashing my face
from all the fucking.
Copy !req
878. Okay, good.
Copy !req
879. Because I thought
you were crying,
and I was like...
Copy !req
880. Yeah!
Copy !req
881. I'm sorry, Courtney.
Copy !req
882. It's Tara.
Courtney!
Copy !req
883. Tara. Tara.
Copy !req
884. Courtney! Courtney!
Copy !req
885. No, seriously,
my name is Tara.
Copy !req
886. No, my wife, my wife.
Copy !req
887. You're married?
Copy !req
888. No, I'm not married.
Not now, anyway.
Copy !req
889. I will be.
She's nine right now.
Copy !req
890. Can I tell you something
that I haven't told anybody?
Copy !req
891. She cheated on me.
Copy !req
892. I found a e-mail.
Copy !req
893. And now every time
I look at her,
Copy !req
894. all I can see is
her getting rammed by
Copy !req
895. some faceless dude
with a better body
and a bigger dick.
Copy !req
896. Truth of it is, I can't even
bring myself to say anything
Copy !req
897. because I just love
her so fucking much.
Copy !req
898. I don't even know if I can
live without her cheating ass.
Copy !req
899. Hey, what's an e-mail?
Copy !req
900. That's not the point!
Copy !req
901. Seems like you
might've took one defensive
swing against him.
Copy !req
902. I mean, honestly,
what the fuck, man?
That was...
Copy !req
903. I don't know how you've
lived with yourself
all these years.
Copy !req
904. It was pathetic.
Copy !req
905. It was pathetic.
You couldn't have kicked
him from the ground?
Copy !req
906. What happened?
Copy !req
907. Uh...
Copy !req
908. This is a crazy story.
I got hit by a truck.
Copy !req
909. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
910. Trying to save a baby deer,
if you can believe that.
Copy !req
911. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
912. Is there anything
that I can do?
Are you okay?
Copy !req
913. Oh, my God.
No, I'm fine.
This is nothing.
Copy !req
914. You know what? Come with me.
I'm gonna take care of you.
Copy !req
915. And bring your friend.
Copy !req
916. No, we can't.
Copy !req
917. We'd love to,
but we can't.
We can, we can.
Copy !req
918. We should probably
go check on that deer,
actually.
Copy !req
919. No, we can go.
We can go.
Copy !req
920. I know you cannot wait
Copy !req
921. Wait to see me, too
Copy !req
922. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
923. This is like
the best song ever!
Copy !req
924. Maybe not ever.
Copy !req
925. At the drive-in
Copy !req
926. God, he's so hot!
Copy !req
927. In the old man's Ford
Copy !req
928. Behind the bushes
Copy !req
929. Can I get 3,000 beers?
Copy !req
930. Until I'm screaming for more
Copy !req
931. Down the basement
Copy !req
932. Who's next?
Who's next for the beer luge?
Copy !req
933. This guy!
This guy's next!
He wants it so bad.
Copy !req
934. You can do it, man.
Copy !req
935. He wants it.
Copy !req
936. Luge! Luge! Luge!
Luge! Luge! Luge!
Copy !req
937. That was so lame.
That wasn't, like,
even violent a little bit.
Copy !req
938. Who are you,
and why did you
do that to me?
Copy !req
939. Why? Because you looked
like you needed a luge.
Copy !req
940. I'm Adam.
I'm April.
Copy !req
941. How are you doing?
Copy !req
942. All right.
Copy !req
943. What brings you here?
Copy !req
944. Hot tub.
Copy !req
945. Huh.
Copy !req
946. You?
Poison.
Copy !req
947. Right.
That band. Poison.
Copy !req
948. I'm a journalist.
I'm covering the band
for Spin magazine.
Copy !req
949. You don't really look
like you're the type.
Copy !req
950. The Poison type?
God, no. I'm not.
I'm really not.
Copy !req
951. I basically just
got onto this bus
Copy !req
952. and it took me here,
to goddamn Winterfest.
Copy !req
953. Adam!
Copy !req
954. Whoo!
Copy !req
955. You know what?
I can't talk to you.
Copy !req
956. You can't?
Copy !req
957. But I'm awesome.
I can guarantee that.
Copy !req
958. I'm sure.
You see, I have to walk
in the exact same footsteps.
Copy !req
959. This didn't happen.
Copy !req
960. Well, it kind of
happened.
Copy !req
961. I wish it did.
Copy !req
962. I just saw it happen.
It really didn't.
Copy !req
963. Yeah. No, I contributed.
Copy !req
964. I wish it did.
Copy !req
965. All right.
Copy !req
966. See you.
Copy !req
967. I brought you some ice.
It'll make you feel better.
Copy !req
968. Let's see that.
Copy !req
969. Feel better?
Copy !req
970. That ice does
make me feel better.
Copy !req
971. Butterflies.
Copy !req
972. Hey, you know what?
I just remembered
I gotta meet a guy.
Copy !req
973. No, no. Wait.
Copy !req
974. No, you can't go.
Copy !req
975. 'Cause guess what?
Copy !req
976. What?
Copy !req
977. I only do two at a time.
Copy !req
978. What do you mean?
Copy !req
979. What do I mean?
Copy !req
980. There those are.
Copy !req
981. Yeah, let's do this.
Copy !req
982. Him first? Okay.
Copy !req
983. It's your thing.
I don't wanna
tell you what to do.
Copy !req
984. Hold on,
I gotta get the phone.
Copy !req
985. Hello? Mom?
Copy !req
986. What?
Copy !req
987. I wanna know what
the doctor said.
Copy !req
988. Lou? Lou,
we can't do this.
Copy !req
989. Yes, we can.
Copy !req
990. No, this didn't happen.
Copy !req
991. We can't do this.
Yes, we can.
Copy !req
992. This didn't
happen in the past.
Yes, it did. Shut up.
Copy !req
993. This did not fucking
happen in the past.
Copy !req
994. You shut the fuck up,
please.
Copy !req
995. We're gonna make,
like, Hitler president
or something.
Copy !req
996. We can't do this.
Copy !req
997. Look, can you be
fucking normal?
Please?
Copy !req
998. Every young man's fantasy
is to have a three-way.
Copy !req
999. Not with another
fucking guy.
It's still a three-way.
Copy !req
1000. What about the policy
of the butterfly effect?
Copy !req
1001. The butterfly effect
can suck my nuts!
Copy !req
1002. Look, we're gonna have sex
with this girl, okay?
Copy !req
1003. You, me, together.
Copy !req
1004. Enough of this queer shit.
Let's get the mood right.
Copy !req
1005. All right.
Look, right there.
Copy !req
1006. What?
Copy !req
1007. You don't wanna
seem overzealous
with a full-on rager.
Copy !req
1008. You don't want
to insult the woman,
either.
Copy !req
1009. You're gonna
wanna get at least
a half-a-chub going, right?
Copy !req
1010. Look at me.
No.
Copy !req
1011. Look at that.
No.
Copy !req
1012. Look at how, like,
perfect that is.
Copy !req
1013. I'm not gonna
fucking look.
Copy !req
1014. Look, look. Here.
Copy !req
1015. What the fuck, man?
Copy !req
1016. I'm out of here.
Come on, Jake,
Copy !req
1017. I was just
getting you started.
Don't care!
Copy !req
1018. Guys do that.
Copy !req
1019. No one does that!
Copy !req
1020. Hey. Onesies?
Copy !req
1021. Sorry.
Copy !req
1022. Okay, cool.
I'm out of here.
Copy !req
1023. Hey.
Copy !req
1024. How did it go
with Jenny?
Copy !req
1025. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1026. Oh, my God. Whoo!
Why aren't you dancing?
Copy !req
1027. Whoa! What's your name?
Copy !req
1028. That's Jacob.
That's Jenny.
Copy !req
1029. What the fuck
are you doing?
Copy !req
1030. You're supposed to
break up with her!
I know.
Copy !req
1031. No, no, no.
Just check it out, okay?
Copy !req
1032. Maybe she's
the key to something.
Copy !req
1033. And I messed it up
when I broke up
with her before,
Copy !req
1034. and now the universe
is giving me
another crack at it.
Copy !req
1035. And if you thought
you could really start over
Copy !req
1036. and do something
totally different,
Copy !req
1037. you wouldn't
even consider it?
Copy !req
1038. You're absolutely right.
Copy !req
1039. You think so? Really?
Copy !req
1040. No. Fuck, no!
Copy !req
1041. Come on!
Copy !req
1042. What do you mean,
you didn't do it?
Copy !req
1043. I'm getting to it.
Copy !req
1044. No, we were supposed to do
everything that we did.
Copy !req
1045. That's what I remember.
Copy !req
1046. Yeah, Adam,
what the fuck, man?
Copy !req
1047. You were supposed
to fucking dump her.
Copy !req
1048. You think I
liked getting my ass fucked
up and down the entire street?
Copy !req
1049. Because I didn't.
It's not that I'm
not gonna do it,
Copy !req
1050. I just haven't done it yet.
There's a big difference.
Copy !req
1051. Look at my face, dude.
Copy !req
1052. Look at my fucking face!
Drink me in.
Copy !req
1053. You think
I wouldn't have liked
to have changed this?
Copy !req
1054. Shut the fuck up, Lou.
You tried to rope me
into a three-way.
Copy !req
1055. What?
Did you?
Copy !req
1056. No.
Yes.
Copy !req
1057. Lou! Did you?
Copy !req
1058. I didn't fuck that girl.
Okay?
Copy !req
1059. Because I'm committed
to not changing the past.
Copy !req
1060. Right.
It had nothing
to do with her
Copy !req
1061. wanting to be
a Chinese finger trap.
Copy !req
1062. And I'm not saying that
because she was Asian.
Copy !req
1063. So you're telling me
I cheated on my wife
for no reason.
Copy !req
1064. Just relax, okay?
Copy !req
1065. I'm gonna do it.
I just haven't done it yet!
Copy !req
1066. You're unbelievable.
Copy !req
1067. Hey, Nick,
can I ask you a question?
Yes.
Copy !req
1068. Does this seem like
it's all about Adam again?
Copy !req
1069. Yeah, just like
Cincinnati.
Copy !req
1070. What?
You gonna bring that up?
Copy !req
1071. We said we weren't gonna talk
about Cincinnati ever, okay?
Copy !req
1072. Is this why you have
that shoebox in your closet
that says "Cincinnati"?
Copy !req
1073. Yeah.
Copy !req
1074. What?
That's fucking admissible!
Copy !req
1075. You keep it
in the closet?
Copy !req
1076. What was
I supposed to do with it?
You can't bury those things.
Copy !req
1077. And you wrote
"Cincinnati" on it?
Copy !req
1078. How do I know which one
it's supposed to be?
Copy !req
1079. Is it a fetus?
Copy !req
1080. My friends
are ridiculous.
Copy !req
1081. Why are we still
talking about this?
Copy !req
1082. Okay, we said
we would never
talk about that.
Copy !req
1083. By the way, where does
it say in the fucking
friendship handbook
Copy !req
1084. that you are the only one
who is allowed
any fucking problems?
Copy !req
1085. I forgot that it says
in the asshole handbook
Copy !req
1086. that you can just
fuck over your friends
whenever you want!
Copy !req
1087. Actually, it would say that
in the asshole handbook
Copy !req
1088. if it was, like,
guidelines for being
an asshole,
Copy !req
1089. that's what it would say.
Why wouldn't
it say that
Copy !req
1090. in the asshole handbook?
Yeah, it would say
Copy !req
1091. to fuck your friends.
"Fuck over your friends."
Copy !req
1092. No, no, no.
Have you ever read a book?
Copy !req
1093. You're right.
I'm sorry, my bad.
You guys are right.
Copy !req
1094. But if you're changing
the fucking past, okay,
Copy !req
1095. then I'm changing
the fucking past,
all right?
Copy !req
1096. No! Lou!
Copy !req
1097. Okay! We're in the game!
I like this.
Copy !req
1098. I didn't change anything yet,
I just didn't do it.
Copy !req
1099. And if we're
changing shit,
Copy !req
1100. you better
be there at midnight
to get my fucking back.
Copy !req
1101. Done.
I'll be there.
Copy !req
1102. Guys! Guys! Come on, man.
Talk to me about this!
Copy !req
1103. Fuck off.
Fuck!
Copy !req
1104. I'll be back in a minute.
Where are you going?
Copy !req
1105. I gotta go.
I'm getting out of here.
Copy !req
1106. No, no, Adam,
listen to me, please.
Copy !req
1107. Jenny Stedmeyer is not
your fucking destiny, okay?
Copy !req
1108. She's just some girl.
Copy !req
1109. Some girl you dated
in high school, okay?
Copy !req
1110. I know!
I just got some
emotions coming up.
Copy !req
1111. I got some feelings
that I got to deal with.
Copy !req
1112. I'm gonna do it.
I believe in you.
You're awesome.
Copy !req
1113. You know what? That's fine.
Everybody just take off!
Copy !req
1114. I don't need to be born.
Copy !req
1115. I'll just go find
the repairman myself
and fix the time machine.
Copy !req
1116. That's the dumbest thing
I've said in a while.
Copy !req
1117. You made the best
decision of your life,
Copy !req
1118. choosing me as
your friend over Adam.
Copy !req
1119. I'm pretty sure
that's not
what's going on here.
Copy !req
1120. Don't be afraid.
I'm gonna treat you right.
Copy !req
1121. Daddy's gonna
take care of you.
Whoa!
Copy !req
1122. Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Copy !req
1123. Here we go. It's like
a slow-motion guillotine.
Copy !req
1124. What the F-ing fuck?
Copy !req
1125. Here we go.
Here we go. Round two.
Copy !req
1126. Should we help him?
Copy !req
1127. No. No.
This is his destiny.
Copy !req
1128. Fuck you!
Copy !req
1129. Did it happen?
No.
Copy !req
1130. If that guy doesn't
lose his arm soon,
Copy !req
1131. I'm gonna fucking
take it from him myself.
Copy !req
1132. Man!
Copy !req
1133. Blaine!
Copy !req
1134. Come on down, man.
Have a brewski with us.
Copy !req
1135. There's a party.
Copy !req
1136. "No foreign army
has ever occupied
American soil.
Copy !req
1137. "Until now."
Copy !req
1138. Watching Red Dawn again,
or...
Copy !req
1139. Wolverines!
Copy !req
1140. They're Ruskies.
Copy !req
1141. And these are
their secret
Commie weapons.
Copy !req
1142. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
1143. Look at this stuff, man.
Copy !req
1144. They could be
spies or something.
Copy !req
1145. I don't know, Blaine.
I mean, they seem
a little young
Copy !req
1146. to be spies, you know.
Copy !req
1147. Come on, Chaz.
Copy !req
1148. They could be
some kind of
21 Jump Street
Copy !req
1149. spy battalion-type dudes.
Copy !req
1150. Yeah. Yeah.
Or not at all, you know?
There's also that.
Copy !req
1151. What the fuck is this?
Copy !req
1152. There's
something I wanna talk
to you about.
Copy !req
1153. It's something
I'm supposed to do
but I don't wanna do.
Copy !req
1154. You know why?
Okay, Adam. But...
Copy !req
1155. Because I was thinking
about how good
we are together, right?
Copy !req
1156. Don't you think?
I really think so.
Okay.
Copy !req
1157. And I was talking
about the future
and I was thinking about,
Copy !req
1158. well, my future is
this way and maybe
it could be this way.
Copy !req
1159. I know I'm rambling now.
God, you're so beautiful.
Copy !req
1160. But we got along
so great and...
Copy !req
1161. What is that?
Copy !req
1162. It's a note
I wrote to you.
You should read it.
Copy !req
1163. Right now? Okay.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1164. "Dear Adam,
you're a super-terrific guy
and I love you.
Copy !req
1165. Aw!
Copy !req
1166. "And that's why
this is so hard for me.
Copy !req
1167. "You're one of the most
amazing people that I've
ever met. I can't..."
Copy !req
1168. Are you breaking up with me?
That's what this...
This is a break-up note?
Copy !req
1169. I'm sorry, Adam.
Copy !req
1170. All these years!
You stabbed me in the eye
with a fucking fork
Copy !req
1171. and you were gonna
break up with me anyway?
Copy !req
1172. Is that what
you're saying to me?
Copy !req
1173. I did what?
Copy !req
1174. Why are you
breaking up with me?
That's not how this works.
Copy !req
1175. You're such a great guy
and you're gonna
find the right girl,
Copy !req
1176. but it's not me.
Copy !req
1177. And everybody
knows what a big deal
you're gonna be some day.
Copy !req
1178. No, I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not anybody.
Copy !req
1179. Adam, okay.
It's not you, it's me.
Copy !req
1180. I say that to you.
You don't say that to me.
Copy !req
1181. That's not how this works.
Copy !req
1182. Do you know
what happens to you
if we don't go back?
Copy !req
1183. You end up with
Billy Lavatino.
Copy !req
1184. I like him.
Copy !req
1185. You may like him,
but then you end up pregnant
with, like, trucker hips,
Copy !req
1186. and you have a baby
with Billy Lavatino,
Copy !req
1187. and you're addicted
to Weight Watchers,
you little bitch.
Copy !req
1188. What did you
just call me?
Take this fucking back!
Copy !req
1189. Don't you... Jesus!
Copy !req
1190. I don't get fat!
Copy !req
1191. Gross!
Copy !req
1192. If we're changing shit,
we gotta be taking
advantage of shit.
Copy !req
1193. No.
Mulligan.
Copy !req
1194. No mulligan.
Come on!
Copy !req
1195. You had, like,
five mulligans.
Dude.
Copy !req
1196. I'm not talking
about bad stuff,
either, okay?
Copy !req
1197. I'm just talking
about good stuff.
Copy !req
1198. Like keeping
Manimal on the air,
you know?
Copy !req
1199. Or preventing
Miley Cyrus.
Copy !req
1200. Preventing her
from what?
Copy !req
1201. Just preventing her.
Copy !req
1202. And there's the catch!
First down!
Copy !req
1203. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1204. I know this game.
Copy !req
1205. Yeah?
Copy !req
1206. Yeah. This is
the Denver-Cleveland
playoff game.
Copy !req
1207. This is
the fucking Drive, man.
Copy !req
1208. Yeah?
Copy !req
1209. I know what
we're gonna do.
Copy !req
1210. Adam, hey.
You're back.
Awesome.
Copy !req
1211. What's going on here?
Where are the guys?
Copy !req
1212. What's this?
Read it.
Copy !req
1213. "Dear Adam, you are
a super-terrific
guy and I love you,
Copy !req
1214. "which is why
this is so hard for me.
I cherish our friendship."
Copy !req
1215. She broke up with you?
Copy !req
1216. And you still
fucking got stabbed
in the eye?
Copy !req
1217. Leave me alone.
Get out of here.
Copy !req
1218. What are you doing here?
You writing poetry?
Copy !req
1219. Just leave me alone
and get out of here. No.
Copy !req
1220. You're writing
fucking break-up poetry.
Copy !req
1221. All right, I'm writing
break-up poetry, okay?
Copy !req
1222. Because my heart hurts.
Copy !req
1223. She stabbed me in
my heart and my eye.
Copy !req
1224. Holy shit, you're wasted.
Copy !req
1225. Look, I've had
like two wine kills,
Captain Buzzcooler.
Copy !req
1226. God.
You're fucked up.
Copy !req
1227. "Jenny's eyes,
like a gypsy's lies
Cut right through the night
Copy !req
1228. "Now those eyes
are another guy's
And I'm alone with my pain"
Copy !req
1229. That was clean.
Copy !req
1230. Are you shitting
me with this, Adam?
Copy !req
1231. Look, you can
recite it straight
Copy !req
1232. or to the tune of
Sweet Child O' Mine.
Copy !req
1233. It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1234. Are these mushrooms?
Did you eat
these mushrooms, Adam?
Copy !req
1235. I like to eat them,
you know?
A couple of them.
Copy !req
1236. Holy fuck, man,
you gotta stay straight!
Copy !req
1237. You gotta help me
get the guys back!
Just relax.
Copy !req
1238. You know,
it's not always about
my emotional journey.
Copy !req
1239. It could be about yours.
Put the coke down!
Copy !req
1240. God damn it,
you little fucker!
Give it to me!
Copy !req
1241. Don't you fucking get it?
I'm not gonna
be fucking born!
Copy !req
1242. How much worse
can it get?
Copy !req
1243. What? The '80s?
Copy !req
1244. New part shorted
out another part.
Copy !req
1245. I hope we can get
that thing
working before dawn.
Copy !req
1246. Wait, wait, hold on,
Copy !req
1247. is that when
the time portal closes,
at dawn?
Copy !req
1248. That's when
the party's over.
Copy !req
1249. Fuck you, man. Listen.
Copy !req
1250. I am at
my wit's end with him,
so you gotta level with me.
Copy !req
1251. Are you the mystical
time-travel guide-guy or not?
Copy !req
1252. Don't you put
your hands on me,
young lady!
Copy !req
1253. I'm just trying
to do my job, here.
Copy !req
1254. Fuck, hold on.
Quit eating mushrooms, man!
Copy !req
1255. I wanna have a few more.
Copy !req
1256. What the fuck
is happening to me?
I can't...
Copy !req
1257. Dawn.
Copy !req
1258. Hey, Adam.
Copy !req
1259. All right, so anyway,
the repairman's
doing his thing.
Copy !req
1260. I'm gonna go
find Nick and Lou,
Copy !req
1261. and you stay right here.
Okay?
Copy !req
1262. I'm gonna stay.
Copy !req
1263. You got it,
but you can't leave.
Copy !req
1264. I can't move,
because I'm broken.
Copy !req
1265. Man, you and my mom
are so fucked.
Copy !req
1266. Hungry.
Copy !req
1267. Evening.
Copy !req
1268. You've got two arms.
Copy !req
1269. But you're not going to.
You're gonna lose one.
Copy !req
1270. What?
Copy !req
1271. You're gonna
lose that arm.
Copy !req
1272. You're one of those
joker guys.
Copy !req
1273. Right. Right.
Copy !req
1274. I don't care if
you put that arm
in a steel fucking vault,
Copy !req
1275. that arm's coming off!
Copy !req
1276. You're gonna
lose your arm.
Copy !req
1277. You're gonna
lose your arm!
Copy !req
1278. I'm gonna rape you.
I'm gonna rape you!
Copy !req
1279. I'm gonna rape you.
I'm gonna rape you.
Copy !req
1280. Have a great night.
Okay.
Copy !req
1281. to the end zone.
Touchdown Cleveland!
Copy !req
1282. Pay up, suckers!
Pay up!
Copy !req
1283. How does he do it?
How is he right
all the time?
Copy !req
1284. Let me ask you
something, McFly.
Copy !req
1285. How you getting so lucky?
Copy !req
1286. I know the fucking future,
douche bag.
Copy !req
1287. Really? One more bet.
Copy !req
1288. Ricky, come on.
You said one more
and then you'd be done.
Copy !req
1289. I also said to
shut the fuck up.
Remember that?
Copy !req
1290. Okay, I love you.
Shut the fuck up.
Copy !req
1291. By the way,
I love your coat.
Copy !req
1292. I don't give a shit
about animals, either,
so...
Copy !req
1293. One more bet.
High stakes.
Copy !req
1294. All right. All right.
Bring it on, Spader.
Copy !req
1295. Bring it on, Jo-Jo.
Copy !req
1296. I bet Elway throws
a touchdown pass
Copy !req
1297. with 37 seconds
left on the clock.
Copy !req
1298. Fat chance, asshole.
Elway's done nothing
all day.
Copy !req
1299. Well then,
in the spirit of high stakes,
let's make it interesting.
Copy !req
1300. Let's make it
interesting.
Copy !req
1301. If I win,
your wife gives me
a blowjob.
Copy !req
1302. Really?
Copy !req
1303. A classy one.
Copy !req
1304. Hey, screw you, kid.
Hey, okay,
Copy !req
1305. and if you win,
name your price.
Copy !req
1306. Touchdown pass at
37 seconds, exactly?
Copy !req
1307. Exactly.
Copy !req
1308. Fine.
Copy !req
1309. You lose,
I take all your winnings.
Copy !req
1310. Done.
Copy !req
1311. And you give your
buddy a blowjob.
Copy !req
1312. What? Hell, no.
Copy !req
1313. Wow!
Copy !req
1314. Deal.
Deal?
Copy !req
1315. Well done.
I like your style.
I like your style.
Copy !req
1316. He's very creative.
Copy !req
1317. I don't like you
taking liberties
with my dick.
Copy !req
1318. Relax, okay?
Copy !req
1319. We know the fucking future.
We can't lose.
Copy !req
1320. Hey. Hey, there.
What are you doing?
Copy !req
1321. Hi.
Hey.
Copy !req
1322. Okay, how's the view
from down there?
Copy !req
1323. It's nice.
Copy !req
1324. Adam, right?
Copy !req
1325. Yeah.
Copy !req
1326. Why are you
bleeding in the snow?
Copy !req
1327. That? No, I...
Copy !req
1328. I got stabbed
in the face
with a fork.
Copy !req
1329. I saw it coming
and I avoided it.
I mean, I didn't avoid it.
Copy !req
1330. It just happened again to me
in a slightly different way.
Copy !req
1331. Boy, I really wish
I knew what the fuck
you were talking about.
Copy !req
1332. All the choices
we make in our life,
they're pointless.
Copy !req
1333. There's no escaping
the inevitable.
Copy !req
1334. I don't know, man.
Copy !req
1335. So, you're saying
that your whole entire life
is predetermined to suck,
Copy !req
1336. no matter what you do?
Copy !req
1337. It's not the way
I want it, but...
Copy !req
1338. Kind of seems like
a really, really good excuse
Copy !req
1339. to do something
totally amazing
right now, tonight.
Copy !req
1340. Like what?
Copy !req
1341. Like perhaps
hang out with a girl
that you just met
Copy !req
1342. before her bus
has to leave
in two hours?
Copy !req
1343. Right-o.
Copy !req
1344. I thought you said
we were going to
get some food.
Copy !req
1345. We are.
We're about to
get some food.
Copy !req
1346. I'm pretty hungry,
actually.
Copy !req
1347. Damn it.
They forgot to
leave the key.
Copy !req
1348. Who did?
Copy !req
1349. Carol and Stan Stapleton.
They're my friends.
They live here,
Copy !req
1350. and I housesit for them
when they go to Nepal,
sometimes.
Copy !req
1351. I thought you said
you came in here on a bus.
Copy !req
1352. They usually do leave,
like, a side door open.
Copy !req
1353. They do?
So let me...
I'll be right back.
Copy !req
1354. Okay.
Copy !req
1355. Yep, it's unlocked.
Copy !req
1356. Cheers.
Copy !req
1357. So which one's Carol?
Copy !req
1358. Carol's on the left.
Copy !req
1359. Elway's last stand.
45 seconds left on the clock.
Copy !req
1360. I'm really good
at getting head.
You'll see.
Copy !req
1361. Elway takes the snap.
Go, baby.
Copy !req
1362. He fades back. Elway fires.
He's got Jackson open.
Copy !req
1363. He's impossibly open!
Copy !req
1364. Wait, what's this? Vermin?
Copy !req
1365. No, no, no!
I know this squirrel.
Copy !req
1366. That's a magic
fucking squirrel.
This doesn't count.
Copy !req
1367. He's distracted
by a wild squirrel!
Copy !req
1368. What the fuck?
Copy !req
1369. Incomplete!
Game's over!
Cleveland wins!
Copy !req
1370. The Dawg Pound is going
to the Super Bowl.
Copy !req
1371. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
1372. I've never seen
anything like it!
Copy !req
1373. He did it. Got to go!
Copy !req
1374. Congratulations.
Look at all that money.
Copy !req
1375. I was kidding about
the blowjob thing.
Obviously, we're comedians.
Copy !req
1376. Hey, guys. Guys.
Copy !req
1377. A bet's a bet.
Copy !req
1378. Motherfucker!
Copy !req
1379. So you're a Time Lord?
Copy !req
1380. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1381. And a Jacuzzi is
your spaceship?
Copy !req
1382. That is correct, madam.
Copy !req
1383. That's the only part
of this whole thing
Copy !req
1384. that doesn't
make sense to me.
Copy !req
1385. You're not the only one.
Believe me.
Copy !req
1386. I mean, the whole thing
is just totally insane.
Copy !req
1387. Ew!
Copy !req
1388. So, how's the future
working out for you?
Copy !req
1389. I mean,
are you like
a happy grownup?
Copy !req
1390. Not particularly, no.
Copy !req
1391. Yeah.
Copy !req
1392. My friends actually
think I ended up being
Copy !req
1393. a completely selfish,
fucked-up person.
Copy !req
1394. And they may
have a point, actually,
if I think about it.
Copy !req
1395. Hmm...
Copy !req
1396. I'll tell you something
I haven't told somebody
for a long time.
Copy !req
1397. When I was a kid,
Copy !req
1398. every Friday night,
my father used to take
my sister Kelly and me
Copy !req
1399. to this place
called Flatirons
for steak sandwiches.
Copy !req
1400. It was a family tradition.
Copy !req
1401. That's sometimes
a good thing.
Copy !req
1402. But one year,
we saw this commercial
Copy !req
1403. for this place called
The Enchanted
Forest of Pizza.
Copy !req
1404. So the next Friday,
my dad's loading
us up into the car.
Copy !req
1405. We're like, "Daddy, we want
to go to The Enchanted
Forest of Pizza."
Copy !req
1406. And he's like,
"What are you talking about?
Copy !req
1407. "We always go for
steak sandwiches."
Copy !req
1408. But we just stay at him
Copy !req
1409. and we're whining,
and we're badgering,
and finally he relents.
Copy !req
1410. Nice. So, you win.
Copy !req
1411. You deviated from the plan
in a really big way.
That's good.
Copy !req
1412. 33 people died of E. Coli.
Copy !req
1413. Including my father.
Copy !req
1414. Before he died,
he looked at me
and he said,
Copy !req
1415. "Adam, you did this."
Copy !req
1416. No, he didn't.
Copy !req
1417. Yes, he did,
Copy !req
1418. with his eyes.
Copy !req
1419. I don't think that
that's what he meant
with his eyes.
Copy !req
1420. The point is that Kelly and I
dealt with the guilt of this
in very different ways.
Copy !req
1421. She went wild, right?
Copy !req
1422. She didn't want
to have control
over anything.
Copy !req
1423. But I vowed
to master the chaos,
Copy !req
1424. to impose order.
Adam, I really don't think
Copy !req
1425. that you can
let a poison pizza ruin
the rest of your life.
Copy !req
1426. You got to
embrace the chaos.
You have to.
Copy !req
1427. That way,
life might just
astonish you.
Copy !req
1428. I had so much fun tonight.
I know!
Copy !req
1429. Fuck! Game on.
Copy !req
1430. You look so hot, by the way.
Thanks.
Copy !req
1431. I said,
start sucking, gaylord.
Copy !req
1432. Yeah! Suck!
Copy !req
1433. Suck that shit, man!
Copy !req
1434. Suck! Suck! Suck!
Suck! Suck! Suck!
Copy !req
1435. Who are you people?
Copy !req
1436. God, who are you people?
Copy !req
1437. Let's get on with this.
My fondue's getting cold.
Copy !req
1438. Choke on that horn, man!
Copy !req
1439. Oh!
Copy !req
1440. Wow, good for you.
Copy !req
1441. I know, right?
Copy !req
1442. It's like Gary Coleman's
fucking forearm.
Copy !req
1443. It's so black!
Copy !req
1444. It's so impossibly black.
Copy !req
1445. I love you, buddy.
Don't say that!
Copy !req
1446. I'm sorry, I do.
Copy !req
1447. No, no, no!
Copy !req
1448. Hey, you.
Copy !req
1449. Maybe what you need
isn't in here, after all.
Copy !req
1450. Maybe what you need
has always been in here.
Copy !req
1451. Really?
No.
Copy !req
1452. The tub?
Is it fixed yet?
Copy !req
1453. Can be. Ready to go?
Copy !req
1454. Wait, go where?
Copy !req
1455. To the room, check it out.
I've got the part right here.
Copy !req
1456. Yeah. Yeah, let's go.
Copy !req
1457. Let's go.
Right.
Copy !req
1458. Where did he go?
Who?
Copy !req
1459. This fucking guy.
Copy !req
1460. Nicholas.
Copy !req
1461. Nicky. Nicholas.
Copy !req
1462. Hey! There he is!
Copy !req
1463. What?
What the fuck?
Copy !req
1464. What? What?
Copy !req
1465. What, do I still
have some on my face?
Copy !req
1466. Oh, God!
Copy !req
1467. Damn!
Copy !req
1468. Did you have
pineapple today?
Copy !req
1469. I can't go home.
What the fuck?
Copy !req
1470. I'm fucking with you, dude.
Copy !req
1471. It's hand soap.
Copy !req
1472. Oh, my God. Relax.
Copy !req
1473. It's like you haven't
seen a little come
Copy !req
1474. on your friend's face before,
or something.
Copy !req
1475. What the fuck is
wrong with you, man?
Copy !req
1476. I'm just kidding.
It's what friends do. God!
Copy !req
1477. You didn't?
Copy !req
1478. Gargle your hog?
No, man.
Copy !req
1479. After they
pulled you off of me,
me and Rick talked it out.
Copy !req
1480. He's actually
a pretty cool guy.
Copy !req
1481. We have a lot in common.
We both love
tits and Mötley Crüe.
Copy !req
1482. It's cool?
Copy !req
1483. Yeah, I just told
him a bunch of shit
Copy !req
1484. that's gonna make
him rich in the future.
Copy !req
1485. I saved
the good stuff for us.
Copy !req
1486. Let's go to the bar,
plan our empire.
Copy !req
1487. Fucking iPods, you know?
Fucking Prius.
Copy !req
1488. Match. Com. Anything. Com.
Fucking Internet. Com!
Copy !req
1489. Fucking Zac Efron.
Nobody invented him yet.
Copy !req
1490. What about Twitter?
Whatever the fuck that is.
Copy !req
1491. Hey, we could
combine Twitter
with fucking Viagra.
Copy !req
1492. Twitt-agra.
Copy !req
1493. What's the matter, dude?
Come on.
Copy !req
1494. I'm sorry, man.
I'm just preoccupied.
Copy !req
1495. You just kind of down
about being black and
out of shape?
Copy !req
1496. What the fuck is
wrong with you? No.
Copy !req
1497. Because you look good,
you know?
Copy !req
1498. This is a great time
for black people.
Copy !req
1499. I mean our time,
not this time.
Copy !req
1500. This is a terrible time
for black people.
Copy !req
1501. I don't see one other
black person in here.
Copy !req
1502. Talk to me, man.
Copy !req
1503. I found out she
fucking cheated.
Copy !req
1504. What? Courtney's
fucking cheating on you?
Copy !req
1505. I gave her my life,
I gave up my passion.
Copy !req
1506. And she's just
out there...
Copy !req
1507. Why the fuck
didn't you say
something, man?
Copy !req
1508. That's just it!
I never see you guys
anymore.
Copy !req
1509. I don't have my music,
I barely have friends.
Copy !req
1510. Without Courtney,
Copy !req
1511. I'm nothing.
Copy !req
1512. You're just fucking
Courtney's bitch right now.
Copy !req
1513. You need to be
your own man,
you know?
Copy !req
1514. "Nick Webber-Agnew"?
What the fuck is that?
Copy !req
1515. It's terrible.
It doesn't work.
Copy !req
1516. No. Nick Webber,
that's who you are.
Copy !req
1517. That's who I was.
Copy !req
1518. Maybe you gotta
find him again.
Copy !req
1519. You know,
she's getting hers,
you go get yours.
Copy !req
1520. I can't, man.
Copy !req
1521. It means something
to me to be married.
Copy !req
1522. You're not fucking married.
It's 1986.
Copy !req
1523. In my heart I am.
Copy !req
1524. Your heart's
a fucking liar.
Copy !req
1525. You know what?
You know what
you got to do?
Copy !req
1526. What?
Copy !req
1527. You gotta get your
ass up on that stage.
Copy !req
1528. You're right.
Copy !req
1529. I'm gonna do it.
Copy !req
1530. Yeah. Do it.
Copy !req
1531. Hey, hey, hey.
Do it fucking
quickly, okay?
Copy !req
1532. You better be at
that fight with me.
Copy !req
1533. Don't leave me
hanging this time.
Copy !req
1534. I won't. I promise.
All right.
Copy !req
1535. Hey, Adam. Fuck.
Copy !req
1536. Guys?
Copy !req
1537. You're good to go.
Copy !req
1538. Holy shit. Really?
Copy !req
1539. Some sort of
sticky liquid got into
Copy !req
1540. the crossover housing,
I don't know.
Copy !req
1541. Must have had some
nitratriminium in it.
Copy !req
1542. It's Chernobly.
Copy !req
1543. Whatever it was,
it ravaged the hell
out of the electronics.
Copy !req
1544. Worked out for you
and the boys, though.
Copy !req
1545. Wait, hold on,
are you saying that
Copy !req
1546. that's the key to
the whole thing?
Copy !req
1547. We need the Chernobly
to get back?
Copy !req
1548. All I'm saying is,
whatever your poison,
I wouldn't tub without it.
Copy !req
1549. Especially after dawn.
Copy !req
1550. It'd kill you
to give me
a straight answer?
Copy !req
1551. You know,
you're kind of a dick.
Copy !req
1552. Hey, everybody,
you ready to jam?
Copy !req
1553. All right.
Copy !req
1554. Ladies and gentlemen,
help me welcome to the stage
Copy !req
1555. Nick Webber!
Copy !req
1556. Hi.
Copy !req
1557. It's been a long time.
Copy !req
1558. No, I'm never
gonna dance again
Copy !req
1559. Guilty feet
have got no rhythm
Copy !req
1560. Jessie is a friend
Copy !req
1561. Yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine
Copy !req
1562. But lately
something's changed
It ain't hard to define
Copy !req
1563. Jessie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine
Copy !req
1564. These guys are dangerous.
Look at this stuff.
Copy !req
1565. Blaine, it looks
like a skinny soda can.
Copy !req
1566. No, a soda-can bomb!
This stuff's straight
out of Moscow.
Copy !req
1567. Let's go kick
that Commie's ass!
Copy !req
1568. Chaz.
Copy !req
1569. Shouldn't we call the cops
or the FBI or something?
Copy !req
1570. No, we're gonna
handle this internally.
Copy !req
1571. I wish that I had
Copy !req
1572. Jessie's girl
Copy !req
1573. I wish that I had
Copy !req
1574. Jessie's girl
Copy !req
1575. Yeah
Copy !req
1576. This song is from the future,
but since you've been good,
Copy !req
1577. you get it early.
Copy !req
1578. Just like we rehearsed.
Copy !req
1579. Let's get it started
Copy !req
1580. in here
Copy !req
1581. And the bass
keep runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin'
Copy !req
1582. And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin'
Copy !req
1583. In this context
There's no disrespect
Copy !req
1584. So when I bust my rhyme
You break your necks
Copy !req
1585. We got five minutes
For us to disconnect
Copy !req
1586. From all intellect
Collect the rhythm effect
Copy !req
1587. So lose your inhibition
Follow your intuition
Copy !req
1588. Free your inner soul
And break away from tradition
Copy !req
1589. 'Cause when we beat out
Girl, it's putting heat out
Copy !req
1590. You wouldn't believe
How we wow shit out
Copy !req
1591. Burn it till it's burned out
Turn it till it's turned out
Copy !req
1592. Act up from north,
west, east, south
Copy !req
1593. Everybody, everybody
Let's get into it
Copy !req
1594. Get stupid
Get it started
Copy !req
1595. Get it started
Get it started
Copy !req
1596. Let's get it started
Let's get it started in here
Copy !req
1597. Everybody, everybody
Let's get into it
Copy !req
1598. Get stupid
Get it started
Copy !req
1599. Get it started, get it started
Let's get it started
Copy !req
1600. Hey, where's
the Kodiak Club?
Copy !req
1601. Down the street, dude.
Copy !req
1602. Okay. Okay, thank you.
Copy !req
1603. Listen, me and my boys
got some shit-kicking to do.
Copy !req
1604. But this
Copy !req
1605. Ain't over.
Copy !req
1606. Get out of my way, stool.
Copy !req
1607. Transmit hits
with no delusion
Copy !req
1608. The feeling's irresistible
And that's how we moving
Copy !req
1609. Everybody
Everybody
Copy !req
1610. Let's get into it
Copy !req
1611. That's my boy,
right there.
Copy !req
1612. The singer?
Yeah.
Copy !req
1613. Let's get it started
Copy !req
1614. I'll be back.
My friends are over there.
I'll come right back.
Copy !req
1615. Lose control
Of body and soul
Copy !req
1616. Don't move too fast, people
Just take it slow
Copy !req
1617. I'm caught
right in the middle
of a thing right now,
Copy !req
1618. but can I text you later?
Copy !req
1619. Can you what?
Are you online at all?
Copy !req
1620. I have no idea
what you're saying.
Copy !req
1621. How do I get
a hold of you?
Copy !req
1622. You come find me.
Copy !req
1623. That just sounds
Copy !req
1624. exhausting.
Copy !req
1625. With no delusion
Copy !req
1626. The feeling's irresistible
And that's how we moving
Copy !req
1627. There he is.
Where are your boys?
Copy !req
1628. I thought they were
gonna hold your sack.
Copy !req
1629. Let's kick his ass, Blaine.
Copy !req
1630. Where are my fucking friends?
Copy !req
1631. Whoo-hoo!
Let's get
Copy !req
1632. Whoo-hoo!
In here
Copy !req
1633. Let's get
Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
1634. While I get
Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
1635. You like that song?
Yeah, it's great.
Copy !req
1636. It's gonna be a hit.
Copy !req
1637. And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin'
Copy !req
1638. Thank you. Thank you.
Copy !req
1639. Yes.
Copy !req
1640. That was sweet.
Copy !req
1641. All right.
All right, man.
Copy !req
1642. Good to have you back,
see you back up there, man.
Copy !req
1643. Hey, it's coming back.
I should have
done this years ago.
Copy !req
1644. Guys. Adam. Guys!
About time.
Copy !req
1645. Did you see him?
Did you see him rock out?
Copy !req
1646. Shut up! Okay, we gotta
find the Chernobly
to get out of here.
Copy !req
1647. Chernobly? Why?
Copy !req
1648. I don't know, exactly.
Copy !req
1649. But the repairman said
it's got nitro-trainium...
Copy !req
1650. Nitratrinanium.
Thank you.
Copy !req
1651. Or some shit in it
that'll fix the time machine.
Copy !req
1652. That makes sense.
Where's Lou?
Copy !req
1653. Where is...
What time is it?
Copy !req
1654. Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit!
Copy !req
1655. Lou!
Copy !req
1656. Where is he?
Fuck.
Copy !req
1657. Oh, my God!
We missed it again!
Copy !req
1658. Well, where do you think
he went?
Copy !req
1659. Same place as last time?
Copy !req
1660. Keeps me together at the seams
Copy !req
1661. I'm on my way
Copy !req
1662. Shut up, you flamer!
Copy !req
1663. I'm on my way
Copy !req
1664. Hey, go home! Loser!
Copy !req
1665. Hey, John Lennon gets shot!
Copy !req
1666. Wait, did that
already happen?
Copy !req
1667. Lou!
Copy !req
1668. Whoo!
Copy !req
1669. They made it, everybody!
Whoo!
Best friends in the world!
Copy !req
1670. Almost just in time!
Copy !req
1671. My buddies.
Copy !req
1672. Fucking Chimney Point, right?
Here we are.
Copy !req
1673. Bottle of scotch,
end of the night.
Copy !req
1674. Where were you?
Copy !req
1675. We were just...
We came...
Copy !req
1676. Not tonight.
Every fucking night.
Copy !req
1677. Huh? What happened?
We were gonna do
shit together, man.
Copy !req
1678. We were gonna
conquer the fucking world.
Me and you.
Copy !req
1679. And then you cut me off.
Copy !req
1680. What was I
gonna do, man?
Copy !req
1681. I was gonna let you
drag me down into
your bullshit, Lou?
Copy !req
1682. Yeah. Yes, because
that's what friends do.
Copy !req
1683. No, they don't, man!
Copy !req
1684. Because then
there's two people
stuck in the bullshit
Copy !req
1685. instead of your sorry ass.
Copy !req
1686. You should
stick by your friends
through thick and thin!
Copy !req
1687. Okay, great.
I got two things
to say to you.
Copy !req
1688. Okay.
Okay?
Copy !req
1689. Number one, I hate you.
Copy !req
1690. Got it.
Copy !req
1691. Our friendship
means nothing.
Copy !req
1692. All right,
is that the first thing
or the second thing?
Copy !req
1693. What?
No, clearly that's still
part of the first thing.
Copy !req
1694. I mean, am I the asshole?
Did you get that?
Copy !req
1695. No, I didn't get it.
I thought...
He didn't get it.
Copy !req
1696. He said A and B...
Copy !req
1697. Let's agree to disagree
about the "first" thing.
Copy !req
1698. Lou, where is the Chernobly?
We need it to get back.
Copy !req
1699. "Where's the Chernobly
at, Lou?"
Copy !req
1700. That's all you ever
fucking care about.
Copy !req
1701. It's the first time
he mentioned it.
Copy !req
1702. Yeah, and even if we had
mentioned it before,
Copy !req
1703. it's kind of
a fucking big deal, okay?
I wanna go home.
Copy !req
1704. Come on, Lou.
Let's talk about this inside.
Copy !req
1705. You got no shoes on.
It's cold out.
Copy !req
1706. Who took my fucking shoe?
Copy !req
1707. Blaine apparently
beat your shoe
off of you,
Copy !req
1708. which I don't even know how
that could fucking happen.
Copy !req
1709. Okay, fuck it!
Fuck you, fuck you
and fuck you!
Copy !req
1710. Easy, man.
Copy !req
1711. Whoa, Lou!
Copy !req
1712. I got you.
Copy !req
1713. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1714. Is Lou dead?
Shit!
Copy !req
1715. There he is.
Copy !req
1716. I can't hold on.
Copy !req
1717. Yes, you can!
Copy !req
1718. Yes, you can hang on!
Copy !req
1719. I'm slipping.
No, hold on.
Copy !req
1720. No, Nick.
Hold on. Guys!
Copy !req
1721. Phil! Phil!
Copy !req
1722. Oh, fuck!
Copy !req
1723. We're dead!
This is how it happens!
This is how he loses it!
Copy !req
1724. Fuck it!
Copy !req
1725. Fuck it, we're dead men!
Just let me go.
Copy !req
1726. Lou, be positive.
Copy !req
1727. The roof is
scraping my nut!
Copy !req
1728. Damn, you strong.
Copy !req
1729. All right.
Copy !req
1730. You're all right?
I'm glad you guys
are all right.
Copy !req
1731. My fault.
Copy !req
1732. Why do you do
shit like that?
Copy !req
1733. I'm sorry! Jesus!
Thank you, Phil.
Copy !req
1734. All right,
here's the second
fucking thing, okay?
Copy !req
1735. Blaine's got the Chernobly.
Copy !req
1736. Let's just get it from him,
so we can
get back to the present
Copy !req
1737. so I can start never seeing
you bitches again.
Copy !req
1738. Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey.
Copy !req
1739. I was looking for you.
Where'd you go?
Copy !req
1740. I had to go...
My friend got in trouble,
but I had to...
Copy !req
1741. I'm leaving right now.
Copy !req
1742. You're leaving right now?
Copy !req
1743. Yeah.
That's not good.
Copy !req
1744. I told you,
I had two hours.
I gotta go.
Copy !req
1745. Uncle Adam, come on!
Who the fuck is that chick?
Copy !req
1746. Do you wanna come with me?
Copy !req
1747. Get her fax
number and let's go.
Come on.
Copy !req
1748. I can't.
Yes, you can.
Copy !req
1749. You can do
whatever you want, man.
It's your life.
Copy !req
1750. I want to.
Copy !req
1751. Good. Then come on.
Copy !req
1752. But I can't because
my friends need me and
I gotta show up for them,
Copy !req
1753. so I really can't.
Copy !req
1754. Okay.
Copy !req
1755. So what are we...
I mean, do we...
Copy !req
1756. What happens?
I don't know.
Copy !req
1757. I'm not really
making any plans.
Copy !req
1758. I'm just sort of
letting the universe
surprise me, right?
Copy !req
1759. I like that.
I like that a lot.
Copy !req
1760. That's the sign
of a happy man.
Copy !req
1761. April, let's go!
Copy !req
1762. Shit.
Copy !req
1763. Maybe the universe will
bring us together again.
Copy !req
1764. I hope.
Copy !req
1765. Casanova, let's do this!
Copy !req
1766. Just turn it around
and keep it running, okay?
Copy !req
1767. Yeah, sure thing.
Copy !req
1768. Okay.
You go this way,
I'll go this way?
Copy !req
1769. No, I'm gonna do the opposite
of everything you say.
Copy !req
1770. Great.
Copy !req
1771. Wonder which
one's Blaine's room.
Copy !req
1772. Housekeeping.
Copy !req
1773. Go, go, go.
Copy !req
1774. Let's try in here.
Where is it?
Copy !req
1775. Come on! Come on, come on.
Copy !req
1776. Panties, panties, panties!
Copy !req
1777. What the fuck are you doing?
Copy !req
1778. Why don't you shut
your slut mouth
Copy !req
1779. and mind your own
fucking business?
Copy !req
1780. You disgust me.
Copy !req
1781. I love how much
you hate you.
Copy !req
1782. Thank you.
Copy !req
1783. They're here, come on.
Fuck!
Copy !req
1784. "Fuck" as in,
"The Chernobly's here
and we're all good"?
Copy !req
1785. No, "fuck" as in, "fuck!"
Copy !req
1786. Where's Nick?
Copy !req
1787. Admit it!
You sucked his balls,
you licked his booty,
Copy !req
1788. you sucked his toes.
Copy !req
1789. Was his dick
bigger than mine?
Copy !req
1790. You wore the heels,
didn't you?
Copy !req
1791. Admit it, bitch!
Copy !req
1792. There's gonna be
some changes, all right?
Copy !req
1793. First, I'm dropping
"Agnew" from my name.
Copy !req
1794. No more hyphenate.
Copy !req
1795. Next, I'm getting
back on stage.
Copy !req
1796. I'm going back to music
because I jam.
Copy !req
1797. But you wouldn't know
nothing about that
Copy !req
1798. because you're probably
somewhere sucking
a motherfucker's dick!
Copy !req
1799. Excuse me?
Copy !req
1800. Hang up the phone, Jerry.
This shit don't concern you.
Copy !req
1801. How do you know my name?
Copy !req
1802. Hang up the phone,
motherfucker!
Copy !req
1803. This is between
me and my wife!
Copy !req
1804. Hey! Give me that phone!
Copy !req
1805. Give him the phone, Nick.
Copy !req
1806. I know what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing!
Copy !req
1807. No, you don't, man.
Let it go! Let it go, man.
Copy !req
1808. Wrong number.
But you're a bad girl
and you hurt him.
Copy !req
1809. Were you just yelling
at your 9-year-old wife?
Copy !req
1810. Yes.
Copy !req
1811. God damn it.
I'm gonna go nuclear
on these guys.
Copy !req
1812. They couldn't
have gone far, man.
Copy !req
1813. Lou! Come on,
we gotta go.
Copy !req
1814. Hey.
Hey.
Copy !req
1815. Mom?
Copy !req
1816. Hey, did you find
the Chernobly?
Copy !req
1817. You motherfucker!
Copy !req
1818. Where did he go?
Jacob?
Copy !req
1819. What the fuck?
What's happened?
Copy !req
1820. Oh, my God. I get it.
Copy !req
1821. I'm his father.
Copy !req
1822. What?
Copy !req
1823. Wait, so what do we do?
Copy !req
1824. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1825. Hit that.
Copy !req
1826. You finish this.
Copy !req
1827. Okay.
Copy !req
1828. Lay down.
We got a stupid baby
to make right now.
Copy !req
1829. I'm back inside of you.
Copy !req
1830. I can't believe I'm
fucking Adam's sister!
Copy !req
1831. I'm doing it!
I'm doing it!
Copy !req
1832. It's gonna take me a while
'cause I'm a little drunk.
Copy !req
1833. Oh, no, it's not.
Here I come.
Copy !req
1834. Oh, my God,
I'm gonna come!
I'm gonna...
Copy !req
1835. Oh, Shia LaBeouf!
Copy !req
1836. Dropping loads!
Copy !req
1837. So much fucking semen.
Little tiny Jacobs!
Copy !req
1838. There's my boy.
Copy !req
1839. It was so beautiful.
You sack of shit!
Copy !req
1840. I knew there was a reason
I fucking hated you.
Copy !req
1841. And now I know why.
Copy !req
1842. I'm gonna tell
everybody in prison that
I traveled back in time
Copy !req
1843. to kill my own father!
Copy !req
1844. Jacob, get off him.
Come on!
Time out, young man.
Copy !req
1845. Get the fuck off of me!
You're a fucking dead man!
Copy !req
1846. Jacob!
Copy !req
1847. Nobody fucks my mother
in the past!
Copy !req
1848. I feel pregnant.
Copy !req
1849. You're welcome.
Copy !req
1850. You Commies looking for this?
Copy !req
1851. Yes, actually.
Yes, we are.
Copy !req
1852. That's what
we're looking for.
Copy !req
1853. You think we could
get that back?
Copy !req
1854. No, you may not.
Copy !req
1855. But bad news
for you, sport.
I'm a patriot.
Copy !req
1856. And I'm not about to
let some Ruskie fucks
come into my town
Copy !req
1857. and blow shit up with
some red-soda-can bomb.
Copy !req
1858. Just give it to us,
turtleneck.
Copy !req
1859. Yeah, okay,
you can have it back.
Copy !req
1860. As long as that
sack over there comes
and takes it from me.
Copy !req
1861. I think he's
talking about you.
He's talking about you.
Copy !req
1862. He's obviously
talking about me.
Copy !req
1863. Blaine, hello.
Copy !req
1864. Um...
Copy !req
1865. Can I please
get the soda back?
Copy !req
1866. Yeah, sure you can.
Copy !req
1867. Oh.
Copy !req
1868. Okay.
Copy !req
1869. Fuck me in the face.
Copy !req
1870. Get him
a body bag, Blaine!
Copy !req
1871. Give us a minute, okay?
Listen to me, man.
Copy !req
1872. That guy,
that guy has pummeled you
again and again.
Copy !req
1873. He made you
his little bitch.
Copy !req
1874. He's humiliated you,
emasculated you.
Copy !req
1875. The wheel of fate has stopped
and dumped you here again,
Copy !req
1876. utterly defeated.
Copy !req
1877. None of this is
helping me at all.
Copy !req
1878. I know, it's coming.
It's coming right now.
Copy !req
1879. Patience.
Copy !req
1880. Maybe you're supposed to do
something different.
Copy !req
1881. What is this, girl talk?
Let's go here, come on.
Copy !req
1882. You're better than him.
Copy !req
1883. America!
Copy !req
1884. Maybe not by a lot,
but a little.
Copy !req
1885. You're the patron saint
of the totally fucked.
Copy !req
1886. You're completely toxic.
There's nothing
you can't kill.
Copy !req
1887. You're the fucking Violator!
Copy !req
1888. The moment's over.
Let's go!
Copy !req
1889. You can do this!
You can get us
the fuck out of here!
Copy !req
1890. You can be the hero!
Copy !req
1891. Enrique-fucking-lglesias.
Copy !req
1892. You love that song,
don't you?
Copy !req
1893. I love that fucking song!
Copy !req
1894. Give me your best shot.
Come on, buddy.
Copy !req
1895. I can be your hero, baby
Copy !req
1896. I can kiss away the pain
Copy !req
1897. I will stand by you forever
Copy !req
1898. You can take my breath away
Copy !req
1899. Shit.
Copy !req
1900. God damn it!
None of what you
said worked at all.
Copy !req
1901. Let's kick these guys' ass,
get the shit and go home.
Copy !req
1902. Done.
Copy !req
1903. No, no!
Copy !req
1904. Fuck you! Feels so good!
Copy !req
1905. The Chernobly.
Copy !req
1906. Martina Navratilova.
Copy !req
1907. Smirnoff Ice.
Copy !req
1908. That's right,
we are Russians!
Spies.
Copy !req
1909. Yeah, because I was
just speaking Russian.
Copy !req
1910. He pulls that top,
and this whole
fucking place blows.
Copy !req
1911. You guys count backwards
from 50, then pull up
the carpet and jump around.
Copy !req
1912. Or I'll fuck you up.
Copy !req
1913. Hi, Phil.
Can we go back
to the hotel, lodge?
Copy !req
1914. Sure.
Thank you so much.
Copy !req
1915. Five, four, three...
Copy !req
1916. Blaine, please stop counting.
Copy !req
1917. Chaz, this is
an Acorn 5 situation.
Copy !req
1918. If we stop counting,
they're gonna blow
us sky-high.
Copy !req
1919. Look, if it is a bomb,
they've got it with
them, all right?
Copy !req
1920. If anyone's gonna blow up,
it's them.
Copy !req
1921. Chaz, stop!
Copy !req
1922. How long did
our talking just take?
Copy !req
1923. I don't know.
I wasn't keeping track.
Copy !req
1924. Fuck it, let's risk it!
Copy !req
1925. Move out!
Copy !req
1926. Now that you're with me,
you gotta cover up your belly.
Copy !req
1927. Let's get
the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
1928. What are you talking about?
We only had sex once.
Copy !req
1929. Let's go. Come on.
Kelly, you can
talk about it later.
Copy !req
1930. You guys are all right?
Copy !req
1931. Thank you, Phil.
Enjoyed it.
Copy !req
1932. Have a good rest
of your vacation.
Copy !req
1933. We'd love to
have you come back here
to the Silver Peaks Lodge.
Copy !req
1934. Thanks. Bye-bye.
Thanks, Phil.
Take care.
Copy !req
1935. Be careful.
Copy !req
1936. Hey, watch out!
Copy !req
1937. God, you guys see that?
Copy !req
1938. Come on, man!
Copy !req
1939. Why would you
fucking take that
from me?
Copy !req
1940. I didn't take it from you.
Copy !req
1941. You guys...
Copy !req
1942. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1943. It happened!
It happened!
Copy !req
1944. Why the fuck
are you laughing?
Gross!
Copy !req
1945. Man down, man down!
Code 11.
Copy !req
1946. All right,
everybody grab your gear,
we gotta move!
Copy !req
1947. Later, Kelly.
Copy !req
1948. Bye, Mom. Love you.
Don't do drugs, okay?
Copy !req
1949. Hey, bye.
Copy !req
1950. Aren't you coming
to my room with me?
Copy !req
1951. No, I gotta take
my clothes off
Copy !req
1952. and get in a hot
tub with these guys.
Copy !req
1953. Then I'm totally
over you.
Copy !req
1954. Kelly, listen.
It's been
an interesting trip.
Copy !req
1955. You're my sister
and I love you.
Copy !req
1956. I love you, too.
Copy !req
1957. And don't steal
that Caboodle makeup
thing from JCPenney
Copy !req
1958. and you won't do
any hard time.
Copy !req
1959. I'll see you in 20 years.
Copy !req
1960. Uh. You're giving me a ride
in the morning, right?
Copy !req
1961. Hallelujah!
Copy !req
1962. Cannonball!
Copy !req
1963. Yeah! Let's get
this party started!
Copy !req
1964. Young blood.
Copy !req
1965. Holy shit!
Copy !req
1966. Hey, look,
it's happening.
Copy !req
1967. Here it comes!
Copy !req
1968. Hurry up.
I can see the '90s.
Copy !req
1969. Why are you taking
off your clothes?
Copy !req
1970. I don't know, man.
It just feels right,
you know?
Copy !req
1971. Fuck it.
Copy !req
1972. Adam! Adam!
I'm not gonna go!
Copy !req
1973. What?
I'm gonna stay!
Copy !req
1974. Don't fuck around, Lou.
Let's go!
Copy !req
1975. I'm good here, man.
Copy !req
1976. I had a good day!
I beat the shit out
of that guy, finally!
Copy !req
1977. I fucked your sister!
Copy !req
1978. I could be a good dad!
Copy !req
1979. I love you, Jacob!
Copy !req
1980. Fuck you!
Copy !req
1981. Little scamp. They say
the damndest things, man.
Copy !req
1982. Come on, Lou, let's go!
We'll talk about it
when we get home!
Copy !req
1983. I was trying
to kill myself!
Copy !req
1984. I know, man.
That's why we came here!
Copy !req
1985. If I go back, I'm just
gonna kill myself
all over again, man.
Copy !req
1986. I can't.
You're gonna stay?
Copy !req
1987. Guys, let's go.
Copy !req
1988. All right, well,
if you're gonna stay,
I'm gonna stay!
Copy !req
1989. You'd really
do that for me?
Copy !req
1990. We're best friends!
If you're staying,
I'm staying!
Copy !req
1991. Your bullshit's
my bullshit, right?
Copy !req
1992. I'm your best friend?
Copy !req
1993. You are one of
my best friends!
Copy !req
1994. I'll take that!
Copy !req
1995. Where you going on me?
Copy !req
1996. Thank you!
Copy !req
1997. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1998. All right, man. Come on!
Copy !req
1999. Holy shit.
Copy !req
2000. This better be the last time
my ass travels through time.
Copy !req
2001. Oh...
Copy !req
2002. It is so good
to see you.
Copy !req
2003. Are we rolling?
Copy !req
2004. Welcome back, bitches!
Copy !req
2005. Is that Lou?
Copy !req
2006. What took you so long?
All right, zoom out.
Copy !req
2007. Yeah, that's
a weird hair choice.
Copy !req
2008. Uh-oh. Look what Daddy did.
Copy !req
2009. He looks like a lion.
Copy !req
2010. Oh, hi.
Didn't see you there.
Copy !req
2011. Here's a question.
Copy !req
2012. Was it morally
wrong for me to exploit
my knowledge of the future
Copy !req
2013. for personal financial gain?
Copy !req
2014. Perhaps.
Copy !req
2015. Here's another question.
Copy !req
2016. Do I give a fuck?
Copy !req
2017. That's my father.
Copy !req
2018. Hey, check out my girl.
Copy !req
2019. You burned
the fucking crab
cakes again.
Copy !req
2020. No, I didn't burn them
because I like them that way!
Copy !req
2021. I fucking hate you, Louis.
Copy !req
2022. I hate you, too, baby.
Copy !req
2023. I love that woman, man.
Copy !req
2024. Those are my parents.
Copy !req
2025. But seriously,
a lot has changed.
Copy !req
2026. So, whatever happens,
stay the fuck calm.
Copy !req
2027. It'll all make sense soon.
Copy !req
2028. Good morning.
Copy !req
2029. Holy shit,
Phil, you got
both your arms.
Copy !req
2030. Oh. Yeah, I do.
Copy !req
2031. That's incredible.
Copy !req
2032. Yeah, what happened was
a snowplow came along
Copy !req
2033. and it took my arm right off.
Copy !req
2034. But the ski patrol came along
and they put it on ice.
Copy !req
2035. Blaine and Chaz.
Blaine and Chaz
saved his arm!
Copy !req
2036. We got 15 minutes
before that thing dies,
all right.
Copy !req
2037. We're gonna put
that back on you!
Copy !req
2038. I'm pretty happy.
Copy !req
2039. It looks great.
Copy !req
2040. Anyhow, I have instructions
on how to get home.
Copy !req
2041. We know how to get home.
Copy !req
2042. Yeah. We know...
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2043. Mr. Dorchen anticipated
that you might say that,
Copy !req
2044. so I took the liberty
of printing up some
Lougle maps for you.
Copy !req
2045. You mean "Google"?
Lougle maps.
Copy !req
2046. What's the matter
with you guys?
Copy !req
2047. Fuck me.
Copy !req
2048. So, Phil, if you wanna find,
you know, like porno
Copy !req
2049. or a restaurant review
or anything like that,
you use Lougle?
Copy !req
2050. Correct.
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2051. I bet he's on
the Statue of Liberty
and shit, too.
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2052. You want me
to go in there?
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2053. That's what
it says on the map.
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2054. Call me later.
Copy !req
2055. Hello.
Copy !req
2056. Welcome back, Mr. Webber.
How was your time away?
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2057. Uh...
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2058. Hey, how was the trip?
Copy !req
2059. Good.
Copy !req
2060. Letting the days go by
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2061. Let the water hold me down
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2062. Letting the days go by
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2063. Water flowing underground
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2064. Into the blue again
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2065. After the money's gone
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2066. Once in a lifetime
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2067. Water flowing underground
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2068. Motherfucker.
Copy !req
2069. Nick?
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2070. Baby, how was your weekend?
I wasn't expecting you today.
Copy !req
2071. Baby. Baby.
I got something
to tell you.
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2072. I know about what you did
with a guy named Steve.
Copy !req
2073. Steve?
Our receptionist?
Copy !req
2074. That Tyrese-looking
motherfucker out there?
Copy !req
2075. Baby, wait a minute.
What are you talking about?
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2076. You think I'm
fooling around?
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2077. First of all,
I would never
screw around.
Copy !req
2078. And you remember I told you
about that crazy wrong number
I got when I was nine.
Copy !req
2079. That man was so...
I love you, Courtney.
Copy !req
2080. I love you so much.
Copy !req
2081. I love you, too,
Nick Webber.
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2082. Nick Webber?
Copy !req
2083. That's your name.
Copy !req
2084. Yeah, it is my name.
Copy !req
2085. Yeah.
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2086. You know my name.
Say it again.
Copy !req
2087. Nick
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2088. Webber.
Yeah.
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2089. Grab that.
I'll take this one.
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2090. Hey, Mom.
I made you a drink.
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2091. Is there alcohol in that?
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2092. Yeah, I believe
there's still
alcohol in scotch.
Copy !req
2093. Talk about your
lost weekend, huh?
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2094. I know, right? Man.
Copy !req
2095. Hey, family.
Copy !req
2096. What are you faggots
talking about?
Copy !req
2097. My two handsome men.
Copy !req
2098. Let me get you
another drink, Dad.
Copy !req
2099. Daddy's little buddy.
Copy !req
2100. You know what
I can't believe?
Copy !req
2101. I can't believe
we're all here.
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2102. I can't believe
we all made it.
Copy !req
2103. Made it together.
Copy !req
2104. A toast.
A toast.
Copy !req
2105. Approximately
three days ago,
or 20 years,
Copy !req
2106. depending on your
understanding of the
time-space continuum, Jacob,
Copy !req
2107. sitting here with you guys
would have been
my worst nightmare.
Copy !req
2108. It's true.
Copy !req
2109. But I can honestly
say right now
Copy !req
2110. I'm very happy
to be right here
in this moment with you,
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2111. my best friends.
Hear, hear.
Copy !req
2112. To friends.
Copy !req
2113. And family.
Copy !req
2114. All right. Cheers!
Copy !req
2115. To past, present and future.
Copy !req
2116. Cheers!
Copy !req
2117. So, "Lougle," huh?
Copy !req
2118. Yeah.
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2119. Lougle.
Just this multibillion-dollar
thing I did for a while.
Copy !req
2120. My real
passion's music, though.
So pissed the band broke up.
Copy !req
2121. Band? What band
were you ever in?
Copy !req
2122. You know I'm a dreamer
Copy !req
2123. But my heart's of gold
Copy !req
2124. I had to run away high
Copy !req
2125. So I wouldn't come home low
Copy !req
2126. Just when things went right
Copy !req
2127. Doesn't mean
they were always wrong
Copy !req
2128. Just take this song
and you'll never feel
Copy !req
2129. Left all alone
Copy !req
2130. Take me to your heart
Copy !req
2131. Feel me in your bones
Copy !req
2132. Just one more night
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2133. And I'm coming off this
long and winding road
Copy !req
2134. I'm on my way
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2135. Home sweet home
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2136. Tonight, tonight
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2137. I'm on my way
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2138. Home sweet home
Copy !req
2139. You know that I've seen
Copy !req
2140. Too many romantic dreams
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2141. Up in lights
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2142. falling off the silver screen
Copy !req
2143. My heart's
like an open book
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2144. For the whole world to read
Copy !req
2145. Sometimes nothing
keeps me together
Copy !req
2146. at the seams
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2147. I'm on my way
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2148. Home sweet home
Copy !req
2149. Yeah
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2150. I'm on my way
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2151. Just set me free
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2152. Home sweet home
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2153. English - US - PSDH
Copy !req