1. Hm.Copy !req
2. - Arsenio Hall!
- Woo! Woo! Woo!Copy !req
3. Team Two take the prison.
We get the villa.Copy !req
4. Little Sister, this is Big Brother,
we are in the ballpark.Copy !req
5. Big Brother,
Little Sister. We're at the prison.Copy !req
6. Little Sister, Big Brother.
Are you in position?Copy !req
7. Big Brother, Little Sister,
affirmative. Attack in 30.Copy !req
8. Starting now.Copy !req
9. Hm!Copy !req
10. Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
11. Ah, ah. Ooh.Copy !req
12. Six...Copy !req
13. five, four, three, two...Copy !req
14. It's an ambush!Copy !req
15. Alka-Seltzer!Copy !req
16. Whoa!Copy !req
17. Ahh!Copy !req
18. Big Brother!
Harbinger, where are you?Copy !req
19. Ahh!Copy !req
20. Ahh! Ah! Ah!Copy !req
21. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
22. Surrender, Yankee
infidels! You have no chance.Copy !req
23. Off to prison, American Satans.Copy !req
24. Americans were shocked
by the announcement of the failureCopy !req
25. of yet another mission to
rescue hostages from the Middle East.Copy !req
26. Informed sources reveal that the
rescue team itself has been capturedCopy !req
27. and added to those
already being held.Copy !req
28. Reports also indicate that
an attempt on the lifeCopy !req
29. of a terrorist dictator
was thwarted at the same time.Copy !req
30. With the election 10 days away, it
may be a setback for the White House.Copy !req
31. Presidential challenger
Senator Gray EdwardsCopy !req
32. commented on the failed mission.Copy !req
33. This is no time for partisan politics.Copy !req
34. Bringing our people home
should be our priority.Copy !req
35. Despite this crisis, the president
put on his best political faceCopy !req
36. continuing on his campaign schedule.Copy !req
37. Benson's 20-point lead
in the poll six months agoCopy !req
38. has plummeted since
the hostage crisis began.Copy !req
39. The CNN/Victoria's Secret
catalog pollCopy !req
40. has the president
and Edwards running neck and neck.Copy !req
41. Today, Benson made a brief stop
in Fergus Falls, VirginiaCopy !req
42. - for a groundbreaking of a library.
- You took my baby!Copy !req
43. The five living
former chief executivesCopy !req
44. Presidents Bush, Reagan,
Carter, Ford and NixonCopy !req
45. were on hand for
the groundbreaking ceremony.Copy !req
46. Correspondent Jeri Kelter
reports on this historic moment.Copy !req
47. The library is to be built near
the Fergus Falls Civic Center.Copy !req
48. - President Benson made no statements.
- Oh! My knee!Copy !req
49. Publicly, he seemed unaware of
the political blow he had been dealt.Copy !req
50. Privately, aides marveled at his spirit
as he performed his morning routineCopy !req
51. by milking the White House goatsCopy !req
52. and eating two helpings
of grapefruit and creamed corn.Copy !req
53. Tonight, the president and his top
advisers will burn the midnight oil.Copy !req
54. Sabotage.Copy !req
55. My God, man, what does it mean?Copy !req
56. We must tighten security, sir.
Find out who's behind it.Copy !req
57. No, no, no. The word "sabotage."
What does it mean?Copy !req
58. Someone's subverting our mission, sir.Copy !req
59. One of our own may be
aiding the enemy.Copy !req
60. Come in!Copy !req
61. Mr. President.Copy !req
62. Oh, Jesus! Don't you ever sneak up
on me like that again.Copy !req
63. What is it, Bob?Copy !req
64. If Edwards hears of this,
he'll use it against you.Copy !req
65. - He'll try to prove you're incompetent.
- I can prove that too.Copy !req
66. Mr. President, the CIA can't
afford another failure.Copy !req
67. We'll send Colonel Walters
to get our people.Copy !req
68. To ensure success,
we need Topper Harley.Copy !req
69. We've located him in the Far East.Copy !req
70. Topper Harley.Copy !req
71. We've served together before, sir.
There's no one better.Copy !req
72. - Cookie?
- Not me, sir.Copy !req
73. - Young lady?
- No, thank you.Copy !req
74. No, no, I was just
offering him a young lady.Copy !req
75. Oh, yeah, Topper Harley.Copy !req
76. Good. I love the boy.
Kid's got guts.Copy !req
77. There isn't a fighting man
on this planet that can...Copy !req
78. Gotcha!
Listening at the door, huh?Copy !req
79. Well, Walters, looks like
we've got our saboteur.Copy !req
80. That's your wife, sir.Copy !req
81. Huh! Yeah, so it is.Copy !req
82. Lavinia. You're looking
as lovely as the day we met.Copy !req
83. Find out what she knows.Copy !req
84. As for you, get me Topper Harley.Copy !req
85. Hm?Copy !req
86. Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears!
Sprinkles, sprinkles!Copy !req
87. Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears!
Sprinkles, sprinkles...Copy !req
88. You fight!Copy !req
89. Aisle 5, mezzanine, to your left.Copy !req
90. Get your program right here. Program!Copy !req
91. One pig snout sandwich.Copy !req
92. Both fighters are showing
signs of fatigue.Copy !req
93. They aren't moving
around the ring as much.Copy !req
94. Hey, this is where
your conditioning pays off.Copy !req
95. Coochie-coochie-coo. Coochie-goo.Copy !req
96. You win!Copy !req
97. Topper, Topper, Topper, Topper...Copy !req
98. Topper Harley!Copy !req
99. Mmm.Copy !req
100. Topper.Copy !req
101. I don't believe it.Copy !req
102. - Topper.
- Colonel.Copy !req
103. - Good to see you again.
- Yeah, you too.Copy !req
104. You want to tell me about it?Copy !req
105. Well, they let me live here.Copy !req
106. I help out fixing things.Copy !req
107. It's peaceful. Quiet.Copy !req
108. No one is allowed to talk.Copy !req
109. And that dim sum fighting
in the warehouse yesterday?Copy !req
110. I do that for the extra money.Copy !req
111. And to satisfy my male cravings
to kill and win.Copy !req
112. Colonel, who are they?Copy !req
113. She's CIA.Copy !req
114. - The other man's an extra.
- Ah.Copy !req
115. What does she do?Copy !req
116. Heads up Middle East
covert operations.Copy !req
117. Reports directly to Benson.Copy !req
118. Colonel, these men have taken
a supreme vow of celibacy.Copy !req
119. Like their fathers and grandfathers.Copy !req
120. They haven't seen a woman in decades.Copy !req
121. Miss Huddleston!Copy !req
122. Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
123. This is Michelle Huddleston.Copy !req
124. Topper Harley.Copy !req
125. Pleasure.Copy !req
126. - You're not easy to find.
- Why are you keeping track?Copy !req
127. It's like the colonel says:Copy !req
128. Good men are hard to find.Copy !req
129. I don't know what you know
about the last war,Copy !req
130. but some of our men
were missing in action.Copy !req
131. On two occasions we sent in
squads to rescue those men.Copy !req
132. Both squads failed.Copy !req
133. We must get the men who went to
get the men who went to get the men.Copy !req
134. - I'm here to make sure we succeed.
- What's this got to do with me?Copy !req
135. I'm going this time.Copy !req
136. - We want you to go with him.
- Why me, ma'am?Copy !req
137. Because you're the best
of what's left.Copy !req
138. My war is over.Copy !req
139. Mmm... Ah!Copy !req
140. It's a few extra dollars now.Copy !req
141. But you'll make that back
on your heating bill.Copy !req
142. We're gonna caulk the ashram
if you want to stop by.Copy !req
143. Thanks, Bob.Copy !req
144. This mission's important.
We've got to take care of our people.Copy !req
145. Come with me.Copy !req
146. When are you gonna
put Ramada behind you?Copy !req
147. - What are you saying?
- You say your war is over.Copy !req
148. Maybe the one out there is,
but not the one inside you.Copy !req
149. You running from the pain
won't solve anything.Copy !req
150. Because wherever you go,
you take the pain with you.Copy !req
151. You've come an awful
long way to lecture me.Copy !req
152. You were hurt
when that woman left.Copy !req
153. You're using that to hide
from who you really are.Copy !req
154. - That was a long time ago.
- Thank you. Next!Copy !req
155. I don't want it.Copy !req
156. Nice butt.Copy !req
157. Topper, let me tell you
a little story.Copy !req
158. It seems there were three bears.Copy !req
159. One day when their porridge was
too hot, they took a walk.Copy !req
160. A little blond girl
skipped through the woodsCopy !req
161. and she ate their porridge
and sat in their chairsCopy !req
162. and slept in their beds.Copy !req
163. And when those bears returned
and discovered that mess...Copy !req
164. - Do you know what happened then?
- No.Copy !req
165. That little blond girl got scared.Copy !req
166. Ran away.Copy !req
167. So, what you're saying is,
that little blond girl is me.Copy !req
168. So I should color my hair...Copy !req
169. Topper, they didn't make you this
fighting machine.Copy !req
170. They just cooked up the porridge
and went for a walk.Copy !req
171. You won't stop running
until you face your three bears.Copy !req
172. Ramada.Copy !req
173. Colonel.Copy !req
174. I'm sorry.Copy !req
175. It has to end for me sometime.Copy !req
176. If you should change your mindCopy !req
177. here's my 900 number.Copy !req
178. It's $5.00 a minute.
I'll waive the charges.Copy !req
179. your three bears.Copy !req
180. Ramada. Ramada. Ramada.Copy !req
181. If our lips should meet
InamorataCopy !req
182. Don Corleone.Copy !req
183. Kiss me, kiss me sweet
InamorataCopy !req
184. Hold me close
And say goodnightCopy !req
185. With a love
As warm as wineCopy !req
186. I'm at heaven's door
InamorataCopy !req
187. Want you more and more
InamorataCopy !req
188. You're a symphonyCopy !req
189. A very beautiful sonata
My inamorataCopy !req
190. Say that you're my sweetheart
My loveCopy !req
191. You're a symphonyCopy !req
192. A very beautiful sonata
My inamorataCopy !req
193. Say that you're my sweetheart
My loveCopy !req
194. Hey, what's wrong, kid?Copy !req
195. I love you so much.Copy !req
196. But it's such a crazy world.
I don't want anything to happen to us.Copy !req
197. Don't worry.Copy !req
198. In a few days,
we'll be on the train to Hawaii.Copy !req
199. We'll find a minister to marry us,
and we'll never be apart.Copy !req
200. But if something should keep us apart?Copy !req
201. If one of us can't make it
to Blenheim Train Station?Copy !req
202. Like, for instance,Copy !req
203. if something came up unexpectedly.Copy !req
204. Not that I think it would.
Or it already has.Copy !req
205. Wherever I'll be,
I want you to know that...Copy !req
206. Kiss me.Copy !req
207. Kiss me like you've
never kissed me before.Copy !req
208. You will denounce the criminal acts
against our people by your president.Copy !req
209. Sign here.
Initial here, here, and here.Copy !req
210. Phil!Copy !req
211. Sign the document.Copy !req
212. I see you're no stranger to pain.Copy !req
213. I've been married.Copy !req
214. - Twice.
- Oy!Copy !req
215. Like the previous six, this victim
was found folded neatly in halfCopy !req
216. inside the glove compartment
of a sanitation truck.Copy !req
217. Police are baffled.Copy !req
218. This just in.Copy !req
219. Presidential military adviser
Colonel Denton WaltersCopy !req
220. has been captured during an
aborted attempt to free our hostages.Copy !req
221. This tape was delivered
to us just moments ago.Copy !req
222. They are treating me good here.Copy !req
223. The food is tasty and nourishing.Copy !req
224. The peaceful leader
of this countryCopy !req
225. has asked me to appeal
to you, Mr. PresidentCopy !req
226. to stop your vicious, imperialistic
tactics around the globe.Copy !req
227. Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a warm welcomeCopy !req
228. to His Excellency,
the Prime Minister of JapanCopy !req
229. Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.Copy !req
230. The president of the United States,
Thomas Benson.Copy !req
231. Mr. President, this is Prime Minister
Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto.Copy !req
232. President Benson,
where's your first lady?Copy !req
233. I don't know. I've had lots of women.
Lost my flower at the age of 15.Copy !req
234. I can't keep track.Copy !req
235. Let's get this over with.
I feel ill.Copy !req
236. My intestines were removed during
action in the North Atlantic.Copy !req
237. Took a torpedo in the gut.
My bowels were replaced with hemp.Copy !req
238. - Clogs easily.
- I hope you feel better.Copy !req
239. Well, my lips to yours.Copy !req
240. The junior senator
from Minnesota, Gray Edwards.Copy !req
241. President Benson,
Prime Minister Soto,Copy !req
242. ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
243. Tonight we put election politics
aside as I join youCopy !req
244. as majority whip and chairman
of the Foreign Affairs CommitteeCopy !req
245. in welcoming the
Japanese prime ministerCopy !req
246. and his lovely wife
to these United States.Copy !req
247. Our two great nations have begun...Copy !req
248. what we hope will be a long
and successful dialogue.Copy !req
249. Ptooh!Copy !req
250. - Not only...
- I don't remember eating that.Copy !req
251. I feel better now.
It's that raw fish odor.Copy !req
252. It makes...Copy !req
253. Oh, God.Copy !req
254. Look at that! Those my teeth?Copy !req
255. Only to continue
in the highest spirit...Copy !req
256. Yeah. They're filthy!Copy !req
257. And so I would like
to propose a toast.Copy !req
258. - Oh, thank you, Yoko.
- I'll take that, sir.Copy !req
259. To world peace.Copy !req
260. To a clean environment.Copy !req
261. To harmony with our planet
and world prosperity.Copy !req
262. Thank you.Copy !req
263. Looking for a place
to sit, lieutenant?Copy !req
264. I must talk to the president.
Can you arrange that?Copy !req
265. - You'd be amazed what I can do.
- It's my fault they got Walters.Copy !req
266. I want to go in.Copy !req
267. You showed up just in time.
We leave in the morning.Copy !req
268. I'm taking charge of this mission.
You mind working under a woman?Copy !req
269. And now, the president of
the United States, Thomas Benson.Copy !req
270. Prime Minister Tojo,
Senator Edwards,Copy !req
271. my fellow Americans
and our millions of illegal aliens.Copy !req
272. It seems like only yesterday
I was strafing your homes.Copy !req
273. Here I am today, begging you
not to make such good cars.Copy !req
274. Excuse me.
I need a glass of water.Copy !req
275. Damn tongue's dry.
It's not mine, you know.Copy !req
276. Lost mine in Laos.
Little commie lopped it off.Copy !req
277. It's probably a doorstop somewhere.
Got this one from a basset hound.Copy !req
278. Get the car.Copy !req
279. President Benson.Copy !req
280. No, you're not.Copy !req
281. I've seen him.
He's older, about my height.Copy !req
282. Sir, this is Topper Harley.Copy !req
283. Topper. Yes, of course.
Son I never had.Copy !req
284. Well, no damn wonder
I didn't recognize you then.Copy !req
285. Word of advice,
don't call yourself the president.Copy !req
286. I wouldn't, neither should you.
It doesn't hold water.Copy !req
287. For that matter, neither do I. Let's
get away from these power cables.Copy !req
288. - I'd like to join the next mission.
- God bless you, boy.Copy !req
289. This one's on the QT.Copy !req
290. It's called "Secret Mission to
Get Walters and Our Boys Back."Copy !req
291. When you come back, I'm gonna
throw you wonderful guys a party.Copy !req
292. And there should be plenty to eat.Copy !req
293. I doubt more than half
of you will return.Copy !req
294. Thank you.Copy !req
295. Got a light, lieutenant?Copy !req
296. I quit smoking.Copy !req
297. Besides, I don't think
it's allowed here.Copy !req
298. What are they gonna do,
arrest me for smoking?Copy !req
299. - I know what to get you for Christmas.
- A Thighmaster? I've broken three.Copy !req
300. Really?Copy !req
301. Let's go to my apartment
and discuss our mission.Copy !req
302. I'm putty in your hands.Copy !req
303. In my hands, nothing turns to putty.Copy !req
304. Hmm.Copy !req
305. Hm?Copy !req
306. Ah. Ah.Copy !req
307. Oh.Copy !req
308. Yippee! Woo-hoo!Copy !req
309. Yippee-ki-yay! Woo!Copy !req
310. In an emotional address
at the state capitolCopy !req
311. Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster,Copy !req
312. made a public apology
for his state being so flat.Copy !req
313. Where are you?Copy !req
314. I don't know.Copy !req
315. What's wrong?Copy !req
316. My arm's asleep.Copy !req
317. No, something else.Copy !req
318. My leg too.Copy !req
319. Please, you can tell me.Copy !req
320. Well...Copy !req
321. Topper.Copy !req
322. I have to wee-wee.Copy !req
323. Look, I told myself last night
was just going to be last night.Copy !req
324. I guess I just never counted on
finding a guy so deep, so sensitive.Copy !req
325. I've fallen for you, Topper.Copy !req
326. I've fallen for you big time.Copy !req
327. There's someone else, isn't there?Copy !req
328. I have no idea what you mean.Copy !req
329. Women sense these things.Copy !req
330. I said there's no one.Copy !req
331. I'm fine.Copy !req
332. I know about Ramada, Topper.
I read your dossier.Copy !req
333. She must be quite a woman.Copy !req
334. And what if she was?Copy !req
335. Was?Copy !req
336. Last call for Train 590 for
Glendale, San Francisco and Honolulu.Copy !req
337. Board! Board!Copy !req
338. I told you. Warned you twice.Copy !req
339. Harley.Copy !req
340. - Topper Harley.
- Right here.Copy !req
341. I cannot go with you
or ever see you again.Copy !req
342. Just believe that I love you.Copy !req
343. You must be brave, my darling.Copy !req
344. This card is printed
on recycled paper.Copy !req
345. Sergeant pick that up.
Someone could trip over it.Copy !req
346. Which one of you
is Michelle Huddleston?Copy !req
347. She is.Copy !req
348. I'm glad you're here.
The hostages are being moved.Copy !req
349. I'm Commander Armin Harbinger.
I'm in charge.Copy !req
350. Sorry, commander.
Presidential orders.Copy !req
351. We're in charge now.Copy !req
352. - Any questions?
- No, ma'am.Copy !req
353. Harley, I've been there.Copy !req
354. I've seen the enemy. If you're
not ready, you won't make it.Copy !req
355. I've fired a couple of guns.Copy !req
356. I'll assemble the men,
with your permission.Copy !req
357. Gentlemen, Ms. Huddleston, CIA,
and Lieutenant Topper Harley.Copy !req
358. We're working for them.Copy !req
359. Williams, com sync pac ram set
MOS 92-H tact op spec patty-wack.Copy !req
360. - Patty-wack?
- Give a dog a bone, sir.Copy !req
361. Of course.Copy !req
362. Rabinowitz, demolition. Can't wait
to blow something up for you.Copy !req
363. I look forward to it.Copy !req
364. Commander Harbinger advised me we
have 11 hours to free the prisoners.Copy !req
365. After that, we may lose them forever.Copy !req
366. This is the prison camp area.Copy !req
367. It's heavily guarded, but they won't
expect an attack from the jungle.Copy !req
368. Your contact, code name Bench Press,
will lead you to the camp.Copy !req
369. I'll meet you at the rendezvous point.Copy !req
370. Good luck.Copy !req
371. Topper!Copy !req
372. I know we haven't had
much time togetherCopy !req
373. but when you go into battle,
take something of mine with you.Copy !req
374. Your lucky mole.Copy !req
375. Topper, what are you reading?Copy !req
376. Great Expectations.Copy !req
377. - Is it any good?
- It's not all I hoped for.Copy !req
378. Know what I'm gonna do if we make it?Copy !req
379. I'm gonna go back to Eagle River
and marry my gal, Edith Mae.Copy !req
380. Gonna get us a nice little place
with a white picket fence.Copy !req
381. You know the kind.Copy !req
382. Two-car garage.Copy !req
383. Maybe a fishing boat.Copy !req
384. And in 15 years,
when they're all paid for,Copy !req
385. I'll set my charges
and blow the shit out of them.Copy !req
386. You got a girl, Topper?Copy !req
387. Penny to Sky King, no parents
in sight. Party is on.Copy !req
388. Green, green, green...Copy !req
389. Hook up.Copy !req
390. Geronimo!Copy !req
391. Me!Copy !req
392. Ahh.Copy !req
393. Thanks, brothers.Copy !req
394. Jeez!Copy !req
395. Stop it!Copy !req
396. - Ramada.
- Topper.Copy !req
397. - What are you doing here?
- This is Bench Press, our contact.Copy !req
398. - I didn't know.
- You know each other?Copy !req
399. Yes. Yes, we do.Copy !req
400. It's been a long time.Copy !req
401. - Let's see, the last time we met...
- Was The Flurvian Sea.Copy !req
402. - You remember?
- I remember every detail.Copy !req
403. The sky was blue. You wore gray.
I was in chiffon.Copy !req
404. Topper, there's so much to say.Copy !req
405. You're as pretty
as when you dumped me.Copy !req
406. You've changed.Copy !req
407. That beauty mark.Copy !req
408. It was a... It's a gift.Copy !req
409. Very touching,
but it's no time to reminisce.Copy !req
410. We must be at the rendezvous point
in seven hours or we miss our pickup.Copy !req
411. It's your show, hero.Copy !req
412. Let's move out.Copy !req
413. Follow me.Copy !req
414. We're late. I know a shortcut.Copy !req
415. - The meat's smoking.
- Shut up.Copy !req
416. - Let's take it off the grill.
- Leave me alone.Copy !req
417. - Frank, you're drunk again.
- Whose fault is that?Copy !req
418. This is the best way
to the prison compound.Copy !req
419. They see many boats,
so they won't be suspicious.Copy !req
420. There are clothes in the wheelhouse.Copy !req
421. Somebody once wrote,
"Hell is the impossibility of reason."Copy !req
422. That's what this place
feels like. Hell.Copy !req
423. I hate it already,
and it's only been a few hours.Copy !req
424. I'm so tired. We get up at 5:00...Copy !req
425. At first I thought
they'd handed me the wrong dossier.Copy !req
426. I couldn't believe
they wanted him dead.Copy !req
427. Third generation West Point.
Top of his class.Copy !req
428. Korea, Airborne,Copy !req
429. about a thousand decorations,
et cetera, et cetera.Copy !req
430. I loved you in Wall Street!Copy !req
431. An enemy control boat has changed
course and is heading for our people.Copy !req
432. Send the alert.Copy !req
433. Hello, Lucky. Report my signal.Copy !req
434. Report my signal. Over.Copy !req
435. Hello, George Mike Walters.
Strength three. Over.Copy !req
436. Recon reports Indians
on the warpath in your area. Over.Copy !req
437. No Indians here. Over.Copy !req
438. Do not take literally.
Repeat. Do not take literally.Copy !req
439. The vultures are circling
the carcass. Repeat.Copy !req
440. The vultures are circling the carcass.Copy !req
441. I see a couple of gulls, but...Copy !req
442. Pit bull's out of the cage.
Crips are raiding the store.Copy !req
443. Hey, you yanking my crank?Copy !req
444. They see a woman, they will
know we are masquerading.Copy !req
445. Only men are allowed
to do the fishing.Copy !req
446. Topper.Copy !req
447. Why did you have to come here now?Copy !req
448. Of all the missions
in all the jungles...Copy !req
449. you had to walk into this one.
- I tried to stay away.Copy !req
450. I thought I'd never see you again,
that you were out of my life.Copy !req
451. But it's a sequel.
I had to come.Copy !req
452. Do you know what
the critics will say?Copy !req
453. - "Same warmed-over characters..."
- Topper, stop it.Copy !req
454. You're only using this whole
casting thing as an excuseCopy !req
455. to hide what's hurting you.Copy !req
456. Hurt? Maybe. Once.Copy !req
457. But I knew this day would come.Copy !req
458. I knew one day you'd
come crawling backCopy !req
459. begging for forgiveness.
Groveling, sniveling,Copy !req
460. pleading for another chance.Copy !req
461. Sorry, sweetheart, but this all-day
sucker is down to the soggy stick.Copy !req
462. No, Topper, you don't understand.Copy !req
463. I'm married. I was married
before you and I ever met.Copy !req
464. I'm still married today.Copy !req
465. - You're joking.
- I'm not.Copy !req
466. - You've got to be.
- If I was joking I would say,Copy !req
467. "A horse walks into a bar. The
bartender says, 'Why the long face?"'Copy !req
468. You are married.Copy !req
469. - Why didn't you tell me?
- I thought he was dead.Copy !req
470. He worked for the CIA,
training pilots in Germany.Copy !req
471. Highest security.Copy !req
472. They told me he died
over Villenshtoben.Copy !req
473. The day before we were to goCopy !req
474. I got word he was alive,
in a hospital in Berlin.Copy !req
475. I had to go to him.Copy !req
476. They ordered me not to tell anyone.Copy !req
477. - I know how you must feel.
- You do, huh?Copy !req
478. You know how it feels
to have your heart shotCopy !req
479. and tied to the hood of a car?Copy !req
480. To be passed like
a large kidney stone?Copy !req
481. Ramada,Copy !req
482. I don't think so.Copy !req
483. Patrol boat!Copy !req
484. Remember, we're not American.
These boys aren't stupid.Copy !req
485. Where's Harbinger?Copy !req
486. Shut off your engine.Copy !req
487. Shut off your engine.
We're boarding.Copy !req
488. Hm.Copy !req
489. Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau!Copy !req
490. Go on! Get out of here!Copy !req
491. Take that to the bank and cash it!Copy !req
492. Swim for shore!Copy !req
493. Save yourselves!Copy !req
494. Swim for it! I'll catch up.Copy !req
495. Go!Copy !req
496. Omar Sharif!Copy !req
497. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!Copy !req
498. Whoa!Copy !req
499. Topper?Copy !req
500. President Benson is
returning to Washington todayCopy !req
501. to speak to the nation
in what experts are callingCopy !req
502. the pivotal address
of his political career.Copy !req
503. - How is the speech coming, sir?
- Hm?Copy !req
504. Oh, I'm practicing my A's.Copy !req
505. - This look like an A to you?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
506. All right.Copy !req
507. What's that, Bill?Copy !req
508. We just received word from Michelle.
Harley is missing.Copy !req
509. - His boat has been demolished.
- Oh, damn it!Copy !req
510. Every time I give an order,
it gets screwed up!Copy !req
511. Plan a reception,
wrong hors d'oeuvres.Copy !req
512. Appoint an ambassador,
he leaves the country.Copy !req
513. Mr. President, we need a plan.Copy !req
514. This may be our last chance
to get the hostages out.Copy !req
515. All right.Copy !req
516. Here's where we are
and here is where they are.Copy !req
517. - Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.
- Oh, no time for prayer, Bob.Copy !req
518. - Here's the target area.
- That's Minnesota, sir.Copy !req
519. Damn it, man,
that's the genius of my plan.Copy !req
520. Why go over there to fight?
We can do it right here at home.Copy !req
521. - Sir, the enemy is over there.
- Then we'll fly them over here.Copy !req
522. Their families too.
We'll teach them to skate...Copy !req
523. - Do I have to think of everything?
- But the hostages!Copy !req
524. It is imperative that you act now!Copy !req
525. Topper?Copy !req
526. Whoooaaa.Copy !req
527. Topper! You made it!Copy !req
528. That's right, Cindy,
it's 23 minutes past the hour.Copy !req
529. And now here's the Buckinghams
with Kind of a Drag.Copy !req
530. You're bleeding.Copy !req
531. I'll be all right.Copy !req
532. Something else
bothers me a lot more.Copy !req
533. Harbinger, where were you
when the patrol boat arrived?Copy !req
534. Below, sweeping the boat for bombs.
What are you accusing me of?Copy !req
535. Nothing, yet.
But I want you to know I smell a rat.Copy !req
536. Don't push me.
Before you bagged your first babe,Copy !req
537. I was slitting throats
for a living.Copy !req
538. I'm not saying I don't trust you,
and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.Copy !req
539. Save it for the enemy.
We got a job to do.Copy !req
540. Oh, look. I'm cut too.Copy !req
541. Oh.Copy !req
542. They got me too. It's a real gusher.Copy !req
543. Let's get going.Copy !req
544. There's a guard at the gate.Copy !req
545. He's mine.Copy !req
546. Wait here.Copy !req
547. Topper.Copy !req
548. - Topper.
- Jesus!Copy !req
549. Before we go in,
you should know something.Copy !req
550. - What now?
- Have you heard of Dexter Hayman?Copy !req
551. The freedom fighter?Copy !req
552. Yeah, he won the Nobel Prize
for inventing the artificial appendix.Copy !req
553. Exactly.
Dexter is one of the captives.Copy !req
554. - He's my husband.
- You've got to be joking.Copy !req
555. If I was joking, I would say,Copy !req
556. "A rabbi, a priest and a minister
walk into a bar..."Copy !req
557. Okay, he is your husband.Copy !req
558. Topper, I was so young,
just a schoolgirl.Copy !req
559. He was an older man,
so wise in the ways of the world.Copy !req
560. He used to come around
the schoolyard, day after day.Copy !req
561. I so admired his persistence.Copy !req
562. Even the restraining order my parents
slapped on him was no deterrent.Copy !req
563. He opened my eyes to the arts,
music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania.Copy !req
564. His work has meant so much to so many.Copy !req
565. And I owe him everything, Topper.Copy !req
566. Everything.Copy !req
567. I'm happy for you, kid.Copy !req
568. But if you think you can hurt
me again, you're wrong.Copy !req
569. I left my heart in my other pants.Copy !req
570. Go.Copy !req
571. Oy!Copy !req
572. Ah!Copy !req
573. Cock-a-doodle-doo!Copy !req
574. Ah!Copy !req
575. Mm!Copy !req
576. Cock-a-doodle-doo.Copy !req
577. The Iraqi coast.Copy !req
578. Oh, those bluffs look treacherous.Copy !req
579. Hadn't counted on that.Copy !req
580. But if God is on our side, we will
rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon.Copy !req
581. That's it, men.Copy !req
582. We're going in!Copy !req
583. My rescue mission was underway.Copy !req
584. But two things kept running
through my mind.Copy !req
585. Would we get to the men in time?Copy !req
586. And why did I bring helium
instead of air?Copy !req
587. I'll go to the rear.Copy !req
588. Take the front door.Copy !req
589. The keys.Copy !req
590. - What?
- Enough!Copy !req
591. I'll have a hamburger.Copy !req
592. - Where are the prisoners?
- There.Copy !req
593. - Let's go!
- I'll take the back gate.Copy !req
594. Now, that's a hell of a gun.Copy !req
595. - Where's Dexter Hayman?
- Villa compound 405.Copy !req
596. Okay. I'm here.Copy !req
597. "Terrorist Mountain."Copy !req
598. "It's a Small War."
"Pirates of the Persian Gulf."Copy !req
599. "Hostage Mover."
Ah! "Dexter's Dungeon."Copy !req
600. Harbinger, what are you doing here?Copy !req
601. I was right, wasn't I?
You sabotaged the other missions.Copy !req
602. - I find that unacceptable.
- You got me wrong.Copy !req
603. All these years,Copy !req
604. fighting, and shooting and killing.Copy !req
605. I just... I can't go on. I...Copy !req
606. Hey, hey, hey, rainy face!
Hey, proud warrior.Copy !req
607. Let the sun come out,
you big bad G.I. Joe.Copy !req
608. You know, kitten, we all have
permission to make mistakes.Copy !req
609. It's called "learning."Copy !req
610. You give your Uncle TopperCopy !req
611. a nice big blow.Copy !req
612. I'm done.Copy !req
613. Thattaboy.Copy !req
614. Thanks. I can kill again.Copy !req
615. - You've given me a reason to live.
- Good.Copy !req
616. Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys
to shoot on the way.Copy !req
617. Keeps going,
and going, and going, and going.Copy !req
618. Nothing outlasts the...Copy !req
619. Oh!Copy !req
620. Yes!Copy !req
621. There's a copter pad half a mile away.Copy !req
622. - That's our ticket out.
- We can't leave. Not without Dexter.Copy !req
623. Topper! Watch out!Copy !req
624. For a moment there,
I thought you were...Copy !req
625. Gabriella Sabatini?Copy !req
626. I get that all the time.
It must be the nose.Copy !req
627. Ironically, I haven't picked up
a racket in years.Copy !req
628. You saved my life.Copy !req
629. Topper, no matter what happens,
I want you to know thatCopy !req
630. I never stopped loving you.Copy !req
631. Let's move out!Copy !req
632. You know how to get to the copter pad.Copy !req
633. If I'm not there in 15,
you know what to do.Copy !req
634. - We get the hell out of here.
- No! Wait another 15 minutes.Copy !req
635. We could hear gunfire
from the compound.Copy !req
636. From out of nowhere,
a patrol boat appeared.Copy !req
637. How would we get past the soldiers
on that boat?Copy !req
638. Then, suddenly, it happened.Copy !req
639. Take cover!Copy !req
640. Guys.Copy !req
641. Jeez!Copy !req
642. That's it, good night.Copy !req
643. War. It's fantastic!Copy !req
644. Drop the gun!Copy !req
645. Drop it!Copy !req
646. You will die, Yankee bastard man.
How you say? Like a dog.Copy !req
647. Now march!Copy !req
648. March!Copy !req
649. I kill you where you stand,
you imperialist Yankee-Doodle dork.Copy !req
650. Slippery rascal!Copy !req
651. Butcher of Baghdad. Hello?Copy !req
652. Well, hello.Copy !req
653. Who is it? Who is it?Copy !req
654. - Your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussein.
- Jesus! I'm so stupid!Copy !req
655. I was supposed to pick her up.Copy !req
656. Tell her I'm at the gym.
No, I'm out of town.Copy !req
657. On business. Bombing,
gassing, execution.Copy !req
658. - Something. Make it up.
- I'm sorry. Just missed him.Copy !req
659. I owe you one.Copy !req
660. Ali MacGraw! My eyes.Copy !req
661. You little...!
I'm going to split you like a melon!Copy !req
662. Now I will kill you
until you die from it.Copy !req
663. In a pig's ear.Copy !req
664. - Mr. President!
- Suffering succotash!Copy !req
665. Looks like the upper hand is on
the other foot, Saddam.Copy !req
666. Ah-ha.Copy !req
667. Uh-oh!Copy !req
668. Yes!Copy !req
669. My skin's made of asbestos.Copy !req
670. Tanning parlor accident
at Dien Bien Phu.Copy !req
671. Go on about your business.
I got a bone to settle with this guy.Copy !req
672. Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter.Copy !req
673. Let's make this a fair fight.Copy !req
674. I've been waiting for you, O Big One.Copy !req
675. We meet at last.
The circle is complete.Copy !req
676. - Now I am the master!
- Only the master of evil, Saddam.Copy !req
677. Your powers are...Copy !req
678. Your powers are weak.
You shouldn't have come.Copy !req
679. Well, I have.
We'll settle this the old Navy way.Copy !req
680. First guy to die, loses!Copy !req
681. Water. Water! Water, please.Copy !req
682. - It's locked. From the inside.
- No!Copy !req
683. - Damn it!
- We're gonna die!Copy !req
684. - Get ahold of yourself!
- Blow it!Copy !req
685. - It's not our property.
- Do it. Do it!Copy !req
686. Oh, Mr. Geppetto!Copy !req
687. Go ahead. Shoot.
You'll get nothing from me.Copy !req
688. You are filth.
I spit in the face of filth.Copy !req
689. - I've come to get you out of here.
- You're American.Copy !req
690. Yes, from America. Let's go.Copy !req
691. My friend, I yearn for freedom
as much as anyoneCopy !req
692. but I run from no man.Copy !req
693. You've got to come with me.Copy !req
694. I can't walk.Copy !req
695. They've tied my shoelaces together.Copy !req
696. A knot.Copy !req
697. Bastards.Copy !req
698. I'm aborting the mission.
Envelope is closed. We're lifting off.Copy !req
699. Here you go. It's $4.50.Copy !req
700. I didn't think you'd make it.Copy !req
701. Onboard. We're getting out.Copy !req
702. What about the others?
We just can't leave them.Copy !req
703. Wait! I can't go any further.
I need a drink.Copy !req
704. Okay. Right a bit.
Whoa, stop there.Copy !req
705. Down a bit, down a bit. There.
It's not very cold. Is this filtered?Copy !req
706. Their artillery will be down
on us soon. We have to go.Copy !req
707. No! We'll lose Topper and Dexter.Copy !req
708. But that's been the idea all along,
hasn't it, Michelle?Copy !req
709. You're looking beautiful as ever,
Ramada. How did you know?Copy !req
710. I didn't. It all came together
when I saw you here.Copy !req
711. I remembered your inscription
in my yearbook.Copy !req
712. You wrote, "Remember the fun
we had in classCopy !req
713. "and I'll fuck up your life
if it's the last thing I do."Copy !req
714. And then I realize where I had
last seen this.Copy !req
715. What could I have done to make
you so vindictive?Copy !req
716. Goodness sake. You know each other.Copy !req
717. Oh, Ramada, how could you
have been so blind?Copy !req
718. You were too wrapped up in being
Miss Perfect College to notice me.Copy !req
719. Why concern yourself with the feelings
of one insignificant roommate?Copy !req
720. One fabulous day,
one incredible experience.Copy !req
721. I had no idea it meant so much to you.Copy !req
722. I remember that day
as if it were yesterday.Copy !req
723. The exhilaration of experimenting,Copy !req
724. sharing something so new,
so dangerous,Copy !req
725. - so intimate.
- Go on.Copy !req
726. And I'll never forget
the look on your face.Copy !req
727. The way the sweat glistened
on your hard body.Copy !req
728. Then you tied my ankles.Copy !req
729. Tighter. Tighter.Copy !req
730. But it just wasn't right.
It wasn't natural.Copy !req
731. Bungee-jumping is just too
dangerous a sport.Copy !req
732. Bungee-jumping? That's it?Copy !req
733. How could you hurt so many
innocent people?Copy !req
734. Oh, Ramada! It was always
so easy for you.Copy !req
735. How could you understand?Copy !req
736. I had Dexter imprisoned
because I wanted you to sufferCopy !req
737. - as much as you made me suffer.
- You fool!Copy !req
738. When I discovered I couldn't win
Topper becauseCopy !req
739. he loved you,
I tried to have you killed.Copy !req
740. He... He still loves me.Copy !req
741. You turned your back on AmericaCopy !req
742. because of your jealousy.
You're gonna pay for this.Copy !req
743. Good doggy!Copy !req
744. Ew.Copy !req
745. Ah-huh!Copy !req
746. Aluminum siding. Ten-year guarantee.
No paint needed.Copy !req
747. Hm.Copy !req
748. Do you have any idea
where you're going?Copy !req
749. Ha! You missed!Copy !req
750. It'll take more than that
to stop me, you devils!Copy !req
751. Don't jiggle me.Copy !req
752. Advil! Midol! Get over here!
To the helicopter.Copy !req
753. They dicked with the wrong dictator.Copy !req
754. This means war!Copy !req
755. You better let me handle this, son.Copy !req
756. Ew. You're so sweaty.Copy !req
757. - I knew you'd make it.
- It's about time.Copy !req
758. - Michelle.
- She's our saboteur.Copy !req
759. Can you get me off
for old times' sake?Copy !req
760. Sorry, precious. You sold
out the greatest country in the world.Copy !req
761. And to think I wore your mole.
Get her out of here.Copy !req
762. Dexter?Copy !req
763. Ramada.Copy !req
764. Oh, dear Dexter. Look what they've
done to your shoelaces.Copy !req
765. Oh, my darling. You've no idea what
I've just been through.Copy !req
766. But now we're together again.
We have much to look forward to.Copy !req
767. I want to do it all.
Donahue. Geraldo.Copy !req
768. Sally Jessy. Oh, and who's
that black chick?Copy !req
769. - Oprah.
- Yes! Yes. Her too.Copy !req
770. Let's go! It's getting hot here.Copy !req
771. I'm going back for the president.Copy !req
772. Topper!Copy !req
773. I'm staying here with you.Copy !req
774. Get on that helicopter with
Dexter, where you belong.Copy !req
775. Why? I thought you loved me.Copy !req
776. Ramada, I do love you.
I've tried to forget youCopy !req
777. but no matter what, your face
is on the tip of my tongue.Copy !req
778. Then let me stay with you.Copy !req
779. Ramada, I want to be with you.
I want to hold you.Copy !req
780. Meet your parents and pet your dog.Copy !req
781. My parents are dead. My dog ate them.Copy !req
782. I'm sorry. We both know you
belong with Dexter.Copy !req
783. You're part of his work,
the thing that keeps him going.Copy !req
784. I'm not being noble, but do you have
any idea what'd happen if you stay?Copy !req
785. Of course I do.Copy !req
786. Sex. Wild, free, passionate,
unbridled sex.Copy !req
787. I'd fondle you in ways
you can't imagine.Copy !req
788. I would pleasure you at any time,
in any place, in any way,Copy !req
789. for as long as you could
possibly desire.Copy !req
790. You better get going.
You'll miss your takeoff.Copy !req
791. Goodbye, Topper. God bless you.Copy !req
792. Wait, let me get a shot of you two.Copy !req
793. It'll be great for the talk shows.
Let's frame this up.Copy !req
794. Closer together. Come on.
Don't be shy.Copy !req
795. Put your arm around her.Copy !req
796. I've almost got it.
This is a great shot.Copy !req
797. My God, you're gonna love this!Copy !req
798. You know, under other circumstances,
you'd make a great couple.Copy !req
799. Oh, well. Say che...Copy !req
800. You're moving too much.
Quit spinning!Copy !req
801. This'll make me rich and f...Copy !req
802. - He really was a wiener!
- Don't get me started.Copy !req
803. Hold it there! Hold it!Copy !req
804. This buggy going to America?Copy !req
805. I was afraid we'd lost you!Copy !req
806. Lost? Not a chance.Copy !req
807. Shove over! I get the window seat.Copy !req
808. - They're in my sights.
- Just a second! This is personal.Copy !req
809. We're too heavy.
We need to lose weight.Copy !req
810. Hot Shots!
Part Deux was filmed in HollywoodCopy !req
811. in front of a live studio audience.Copy !req