1. Kevin. Did we reinforce
the take-off ramp?Copy !req
2. Nah, we didn't have time.Copy !req
3. Cool.Copy !req
4. Soul of an eagle.Copy !req
5. Oh, shit.Copy !req
6. Are you okay?Copy !req
7. What's up, little riders?Copy !req
8. I'm jumping the public pool tomorrow.
2 bucks. Tell your friends.Copy !req
9. Eat some smoke!Copy !req
10. That's just a sample.Copy !req
11. See you there.Copy !req
12. Pink grapefruit.Copy !req
13. Yes.Copy !req
14. - Toasted marshmallow.
- Yes.Copy !req
15. Finish her off.Copy !req
16. Raspberry?Copy !req
17. Psych! Very Cherry.Copy !req
18. A hundred straight.Copy !req
19. I'm gonna go drop some dumpage.Copy !req
20. - Voltron?
- That's me.Copy !req
21. - Hi, Dave.
- How you doing, Cathy?Copy !req
22. Why'd you call yourself Voltron?Copy !req
23. I don't know.
Maybe 'cause it's super badass.Copy !req
24. - You're weird.
- Hells, yeah, I am.Copy !req
25. Yoo-hoo, shitheads.Copy !req
26. I just found a bag of fireworks
in the men's restroom.Copy !req
27. Would you guys
like to light them off?Copy !req
28. All right, boys.
Prepare to be dazzled.Copy !req
29. Jumping the pool tomorrow!Copy !req
30. God damn. Rod!Copy !req
31. Mom?
Have you seen my hip pads?Copy !req
32. In the kitchen.Copy !req
33. Rod, maybe you shouldn't fight
Frank this week.Copy !req
34. You know, you could rest up
for the jump tomorrow.Copy !req
35. Relax, Kev. I'm gonna win this time.
I did, like, 40 crunches yesterday.Copy !req
36. What is it with you two, anyway?Copy !req
37. You wouldn't understand, Kevin.Copy !req
38. He's your real dad
so he automatically loves you.Copy !req
39. But he's my stepdad. I have to earn it.Copy !req
40. Ancestors, protect meCopy !req
41. May they protect youCopy !req
42. Frank?Copy !req
43. Frank.Copy !req
44. Frank!Copy !req
45. Never sneak up on a man
who's been in a chemical fire.Copy !req
46. - Sorry.
- On your feet.Copy !req
47. What's this?Copy !req
48. Rhodesian fighting sticks.
Very, very lethal.Copy !req
49. Rhodesian. Of course.Copy !req
50. Come on.Copy !req
51. You are pathetic!Copy !req
52. Stop, stop, I give up! I give up!Copy !req
53. Yeah.Copy !req
54. No, Frank!Copy !req
55. Play the victim,
and you will be the victim.Copy !req
56. Very good, Frank.Copy !req
57. Very impressive. Ultimate punch!Copy !req
58. I'm gonna knock
that ridiculous mustacheCopy !req
59. right off your face.Copy !req
60. All great men have mustaches, Frank.Copy !req
61. Yeah, but real men actually grow them.Copy !req
62. You know I have a hormone disorder!Copy !req
63. You'll see, Frank.Copy !req
64. One day, I'll punch you right in the face,
and then you'll respect me.Copy !req
65. I'll believe it when I see it, muchacho.Copy !req
66. Take out the trash.Copy !req
67. Nailed it.Copy !req
68. Rod?Copy !req
69. - Denise!
- Hey!Copy !req
70. How's it going?Copy !req
71. Oh.Copy !req
72. Great. Everything's going super great.Copy !req
73. You look different.Copy !req
74. Oh, really? Well, it's been a while.Copy !req
75. You look...Copy !req
76. You look pretty much exactly the same.Copy !req
77. Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
78. And I see you're still doing your stunts.Copy !req
79. Big time.Copy !req
80. Actually...Copy !req
81. Here. Peep the strategy.Copy !req
82. You're jumping the pool? Wow!Copy !req
83. Yeah, it's the real deal.
You should come.Copy !req
84. Maybe I will. Thanks.Copy !req
85. Cool.Copy !req
86. Well, I gotta go. I gotta feed Buddy,
but very nice to see you, Rod.Copy !req
87. Yeah, you too.Copy !req
88. You look pretty.Copy !req
89. What did you say?Copy !req
90. I said you look shitty.
Good night, Denise.Copy !req
91. Hey, Pop.Copy !req
92. It's me, Rod.Copy !req
93. I sure wish you were alive.Copy !req
94. You'd tell me how much you respect meCopy !req
95. and we'd do stunts
and grow mustaches together.Copy !req
96. You may have died
an anonymous stuntman,Copy !req
97. but you live on through me.Copy !req
98. I miss you, Daddy.Copy !req
99. Hey, Rod?Copy !req
100. Get out!Copy !req
101. All right, everybody,
let's clear the pool.Copy !req
102. There's gonna be a jump.Copy !req
103. Come on, seriously, guys.
It's gonna be pretty amazing.Copy !req
104. Okeydoke, Rod. It's regulation size.Copy !req
105. Thanks, Rico.
Hey, have you seen Kevin anywhere?Copy !req
106. He's not here.Copy !req
107. What do you mean he's not here?
He's team manager.Copy !req
108. - He has to be here.
- I know, right?Copy !req
109. Richardson, out of the pool. Let's go.Copy !req
110. No can do, Dave.Copy !req
111. Come on, Richardson.
You're being a tool, man.Copy !req
112. There is no tool in this pool.Copy !req
113. And I'd happily get out,
if you let me join your crew.Copy !req
114. You can't join the crew, Richardson.
You don't do anything.Copy !req
115. Oh, don't I?Copy !req
116. You like what you see?Copy !req
117. Hey.Copy !req
118. Denise. Hey.Copy !req
119. Looks exciting.
Is there anything I can do to help?Copy !req
120. Oh, no, it's cool.Copy !req
121. Stop it!Copy !req
122. I think my crew's got it
pretty much covered.Copy !req
123. So...Copy !req
124. - Good luck.
- Don't worry, Denise.Copy !req
125. I've done this before.Copy !req
126. Totem spirit, fox.Copy !req
127. Please, God, don't let me
embarrass myself in front of Denise.Copy !req
128. Hello?Copy !req
129. I'm home.Copy !req
130. Kevin?Copy !req
131. You missed the jump.Copy !req
132. I totally landed it.Copy !req
133. Rod, thank goodness you're home.Copy !req
134. What's going on? Is this some sort of
interactive theater art piece?Copy !req
135. It's Frank. He's very sick.Copy !req
136. What? Since when?Copy !req
137. Since 21 years ago.Copy !req
138. It's his heart.Copy !req
139. He needs a transplant,
and our insurance won't cover it.Copy !req
140. They say he's too high-risk. Oh, Rod.Copy !req
141. He doesn't have much time left.Copy !req
142. No way.Copy !req
143. We would've told you sooner, but
we knew how much it would upset you.Copy !req
144. So, you just decided to keep me
and Kevin in the dark?Copy !req
145. Oh, no, we told Kevin.
We just didn't think you could handle it.Copy !req
146. I can handle it.Copy !req
147. I love you, Kevin.
I want you to have my watch.Copy !req
148. I love you, too, Dad.Copy !req
149. Hold on, Frank! Don't die!Copy !req
150. Let's let them talk.Copy !req
151. Sorry, boy. My time's up.Copy !req
152. But I still need to kick your ass.
How can I do that if you're dead?Copy !req
153. Well, then,
I guess I'll die still champion.Copy !req
154. No way. Let's do it right now.
One more for the road.Copy !req
155. Beating me wouldn't mean
anything now. I'm all through.Copy !req
156. All I want is to earn your respect, Frank.
How can I do that if you won't fight me?Copy !req
157. Well, maybe you should've
thought of thatCopy !req
158. before you sucked at being a man
all your life.Copy !req
159. Oh, my God. I hate you so much,
I just wanna smash your face in.Copy !req
160. Too late. I'm a dead man.Copy !req
161. What about the transplant?Copy !req
162. Oh, sure. 50 grand.
You gonna pay for it?Copy !req
163. - No!
- 'Course you're not.Copy !req
164. Let's face it. You're a kid.Copy !req
165. You live at home. You got no job.Copy !req
166. All you're good for is goofing around
with your friends on your moped.Copy !req
167. You're wrong, Frank. I'm not a kid.
I'm a man.Copy !req
168. I am gonna get you better.
And then I'm gonna beat you to death!Copy !req
169. You couldn't beat a drum.Copy !req
170. - Rod, are you okay?
- I need to go to my quiet place!Copy !req
171. Shit!Copy !req
172. Oh, my God!Copy !req
173. And that is how it's done.Copy !req
174. Wow.Copy !req
175. It's amazing.Copy !req
176. That really hurt.Copy !req
177. Okay, you guys. Thanks for meeting me.Copy !req
178. As you all know, I recently found out
that my stepfather, Frank,Copy !req
179. is on his deathbed.Copy !req
180. I needed to think last night,
so I galloped into a wooded glen.Copy !req
181. And after punch-dancing out my rageCopy !req
182. and suffering an extremely long
and very painful fall,Copy !req
183. I realized what has to be done.Copy !req
184. We're gonna raise the money
to save Frank's life.Copy !req
185. Well, that's awesome, Rod,Copy !req
186. but how exactly
do you plan on doing that?Copy !req
187. One big jump, gentlemen.Copy !req
188. The biggest jump this town's ever seen.Copy !req
189. We're gonna jump 15 buses.Copy !req
190. Whoa. Come on, Rod.Copy !req
191. That's nearly as many
as Evel Knievel jumped.Copy !req
192. It's actually one more
than Evel Knievel jumped, Rico. I know.Copy !req
193. I checked. Online.Copy !req
194. Now, I've gotta be in top physical form
if we're gonna do this jump.Copy !req
195. - I'm sorry, Dave.
- What's that?Copy !req
196. Where are you going?Copy !req
197. I'm sorry, man. I just realized,
I'm late for work at the ice rink.Copy !req
198. - So, is that a problem?
- Yes.Copy !req
199. Now, this jump demands
that I be in top physical condition.Copy !req
200. I've already drafted
a rough schedule of exercisesCopy !req
201. that will help us take things
to the next level.Copy !req
202. Once training is complete, we'll turn
our attention to funding the jump.Copy !req
203. By my estimations,
we'll need to raise around $5,000.Copy !req
204. That includes bus rentals,
ramp construction,Copy !req
205. team hats and wrist bands,Copy !req
206. and a $9 per diem
for each crew member.Copy !req
207. Now you're talking.Copy !req
208. We're gonna have to raise money fast.Copy !req
209. I'll drum up small-scale stunt work
at birthday parties.Copy !req
210. We're talking escape tricks,
fire breathing.Copy !req
211. Anything to please the rug rats.Copy !req
212. Also, we're gonna have to organize a
lot of shopping carts.Copy !req
213. And we're gonna go through some trash
for cans and newspaper to sleep on.Copy !req
214. Hey! What are you guys doing?Copy !req
215. Rod.Copy !req
216. Once we've raised the money,
we'll use it to put on the bus jump,Copy !req
217. make $50,000, and save Frank's life.Copy !req
218. Now, who's with me?Copy !req
219. Let's celebrate.Copy !req
220. Buddy. Come on.Copy !req
221. Hey, Rod.Copy !req
222. Oh.Copy !req
223. Denise, what's up?Copy !req
224. Not much.Copy !req
225. Funky fresh.Copy !req
226. I heard about your plan to save Frank.
I think that's great.Copy !req
227. Oh, yeah. I'm mainly just doing that
so I can kick his ass.Copy !req
228. Right.Copy !req
229. So, Denise, I think I know
why you came over here.Copy !req
230. - You do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
231. You wanna join my crew.Copy !req
232. I can't lie. I think it's a great idea.Copy !req
233. We could use someone
with your college experience.Copy !req
234. - Cool. I'd love to join.
- Whoa, whoa, Denise. Slow down.Copy !req
235. You can't just waltz in off the street
and demand to be in my crew.Copy !req
236. - But I thought you...
- Yeah, I know what you thought.Copy !req
237. But the fact is you can't join
until you go through initiation.Copy !req
238. All right. What's the initiation?Copy !req
239. It's crazy.Copy !req
240. It's like the craziest thing
you could even imagine.Copy !req
241. Okay.Copy !req
242. Here we go.Copy !req
243. Rod! Rod.Copy !req
244. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
245. I'm kind of grumpy today, dude.
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.Copy !req
246. I was having those dreams again.Copy !req
247. You know how it's just me in a castle.
I gotta fight, like, a thousand wizards.Copy !req
248. The only way to beat them is to punch
them as hard as I can in their faces.Copy !req
249. And then, when I'm done,
all their little wizard wives came outCopy !req
250. and wanted me
just to have sex with them.Copy !req
251. Which is kind of weird.Copy !req
252. Hey, look at this, huh?Copy !req
253. Hey, everybody.
I've got some awesome news.Copy !req
254. We have a new crew member today.
Denise.Copy !req
255. Hi, everyone.Copy !req
256. So, I thought it'd be fun
if we all went aroundCopy !req
257. and said our name
and a little something about ourselves.Copy !req
258. I'll start. My name is Rod,Copy !req
259. and I like to party.Copy !req
260. All right, Dave. You're up.Copy !req
261. Hi. My name is Dave,Copy !req
262. and I like to party.Copy !req
263. No, Dave. I just said that I party, so
maybe do something different from me.Copy !req
264. My name is Dave,
and I am the stunt man.Copy !req
265. You know what? Let's move on.
Rico, you're up.Copy !req
266. Hello. I'm Rico, and I like to party.Copy !req
267. Yeah. Rico?
What did I just say to Dave?Copy !req
268. - Who?
- Dave.Copy !req
269. - I like to party. I'm Rod.
- No. You're Kevin.Copy !req
270. Right. Kevin. I party.Copy !req
271. No. No, you don't.
Okay, nobody parties but me.Copy !req
272. Yes. And we party.Copy !req
273. - No.
- Yeah, just Rod.Copy !req
274. - Yes.
- And me.Copy !req
275. - No! I'm the only one who parties.
- I'm pretty sure I've partied before.Copy !req
276. No, Kevin, I know for a fact
you don't party, okay? You do not party.Copy !req
277. - You're right. Dave's the party guy.
- Sweet.Copy !req
278. Oh, my God. Shut up, okay?
I'm just gonna do it for you.Copy !req
279. Denise. This is the crew.Copy !req
280. Dave's the mechanic.
Rico makes the ramps.Copy !req
281. And Kevin is
team manager/videographer.Copy !req
282. None of them party. Right?Copy !req
283. Got it?Copy !req
284. Okay.Copy !req
285. Let's party.Copy !req
286. Pools are perfect
for holding water, man.Copy !req
287. Man, I don't really know about having
a girl on the team, man.Copy !req
288. All right, Rico, listen.Copy !req
289. There's an ancient Italian maxim
that roughly translates to,Copy !req
290. "He who is resistant to change
is destined to perish."Copy !req
291. So, why don't you try to open up
that mind of yours? You know?Copy !req
292. It's like, look at Kevin. I mean, he...Copy !req
293. Real mature, man.Copy !req
294. Yeah, don't you ever tell me
how to live my life again.Copy !req
295. Okay, you guys.Copy !req
296. If I'm gonna jump 15 buses, my body's
gonna have to be in top physical form.Copy !req
297. Which brings us to our first exercise.
Lung strengthening.Copy !req
298. You guys are gonna hold me
under water for 40 seconds.Copy !req
299. That's 20 less than a minute.Copy !req
300. My body's natural instinct
is gonna be to resist.Copy !req
301. But, no matter what, don't let up.Copy !req
302. If there's any problem at all,
I will ring this bell.Copy !req
303. Hey, Dave. Mom wants to know
if your friends want some grape punch.Copy !req
304. Maggie! Don't even ask. Just bring it.
Come on.Copy !req
305. Don't just stare at me! Go! Thank you.Copy !req
306. Soul of a bottlenose dolphin.Copy !req
307. Hey, y'all.Copy !req
308. Mom said there wasn't enough grape,
so it's mixed with cherry. Is that okay?Copy !req
309. Yeah, fine, Maggie. Put it on the table.Copy !req
310. Which table?Copy !req
311. You tell me, Brainiac.
It's your front yard, too.Copy !req
312. Hey, little girl! I don't want cherry.
It upsets my stomach!Copy !req
313. 37, 38, 39, 40. Okay. Let him up.Copy !req
314. Get him out, get him out, get him out!Copy !req
315. Get him up, get him up.Copy !req
316. Rod, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?Copy !req
317. Come on, Rod.Copy !req
318. - Nice.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
319. - Oh, man.
- What happened?Copy !req
320. You almost drowned. Denise just gave
you mouth-to-mouth and saved you.Copy !req
321. Did it look like we were making out?Copy !req
322. A little bit.Copy !req
323. Awesome.Copy !req
324. Are you okay?Copy !req
325. Oh. Hey, Denise. What's up?Copy !req
326. Great. I'm just gonna go wash off
this puke from my face.Copy !req
327. Cool.Copy !req
328. Speed management.Copy !req
329. G force.Copy !req
330. Let's run it.Copy !req
331. My safe word will be whiskey.Copy !req
332. Sorry, Rod. What was that?Copy !req
333. Whiskey.Copy !req
334. Don't you mean whiskey?Copy !req
335. What?Copy !req
336. - You're saying it weird.
- Saying what weird?Copy !req
337. All of it.Copy !req
338. Where do you get off?Copy !req
339. I just don't get
why you're saying it that way.Copy !req
340. Why I'm saying what what way?Copy !req
341. - Forget it.
- I will. I will forget it.Copy !req
342. Denise. Would you kindly clear
the wheels?Copy !req
343. Okay, here we go. On three.Copy !req
344. One,Copy !req
345. - two...
- Whoa, whiskey!Copy !req
346. Whiskey!Copy !req
347. Whiskey!Copy !req
348. Whiskey!Copy !req
349. Whiskey!Copy !req
350. Oh, shit!Copy !req
351. Rod!Copy !req
352. Are you okay?Copy !req
353. The safety word didn't help.Copy !req
354. My trailer! What the hell?Copy !req
355. One of you is getting
your dick-hole smashed!Copy !req
356. I'm freaking pumped! I've been drinking
green tea all goddamn day!Copy !req
357. Oh!Copy !req
358. Man, he hit his ass
with a parking cone. Nice!Copy !req
359. God, I go to church
every goddamn Sunday!Copy !req
360. You gonna bring the demons out of me!Copy !req
361. - All right, Rico. You got him.
- Rico.Copy !req
362. Not with the trash can, buddy.
No, no, come on.Copy !req
363. - Trash!
- All right, let's get him off of him.Copy !req
364. - Okay, okay, okay.
- No, no. No!Copy !req
365. This is my hat, now.Copy !req
366. This is totally my hat.Copy !req
367. Thanks.Copy !req
368. So, how do you like
being in the crew so far?Copy !req
369. - It's been interesting.
- Told you.Copy !req
370. Stop it.Copy !req
371. Hey, Denise?Copy !req
372. There's something I wanted to ask you.Copy !req
373. Yeah?Copy !req
374. Well...Copy !req
375. I couldn't help but notice
that we've both matured a lot,Copy !req
376. physically.Copy !req
377. And I was just wondering if maybe...Copy !req
378. Hey, Rod. What's that song called,Copy !req
379. about the grandma
getting run over by a reindeer?Copy !req
380. Grandma Got Run Over
by a Reindeer?Copy !req
381. No.Copy !req
382. Jonathan.Copy !req
383. Hey, what are you doing?
I thought you were at work.Copy !req
384. Wanted to come by
and surprise my little girl.Copy !req
385. Hey, guys.Copy !req
386. This is Jonathan.
He's visiting from the city.Copy !req
387. - What's up, fellas?
- I'm gonna grab my jacket.Copy !req
388. Okay.Copy !req
389. So, what are you supposed to be?Copy !req
390. A stuntman.Copy !req
391. How about you, precious?Copy !req
392. I'm a team manager.Copy !req
393. Wow.Copy !req
394. Ready.Copy !req
395. Have a nice day, guys.Copy !req
396. Bye.Copy !req
397. Oh. Rod, what were you gonna ask me?Copy !req
398. Oh, right.Copy !req
399. I was going to ask you
who you think would winCopy !req
400. in a fight between
a grilled cheese sandwichCopy !req
401. and a taco.Copy !req
402. Is that really what you were gonna ask?Copy !req
403. Yes.Copy !req
404. Grilled cheese. But only in a fair fight.Copy !req
405. If it's prison rules, I'd take the taco.Copy !req
406. Wow. That's pretty racist, but correct.Copy !req
407. I'll see you guys.Copy !req
408. You know what car is super-overrated?Copy !req
409. - What?
- Corvette.Copy !req
410. You mean, like the one
Jonathan was driving?Copy !req
411. Is that what he was driving?Copy !req
412. Must've been what reminded me.Copy !req
413. I don't know,
I thought it was kind of cool.Copy !req
414. Okay, boys. Now, this is the first timeCopy !req
415. your father's feeling well enough
to sit with us at the dinner table.Copy !req
416. So I want everyone to promise me,
no fighting.Copy !req
417. What're you looking at me for?
Kevin could fight him.Copy !req
418. - I promise not to fight him.
- Thank you, Kevin.Copy !req
419. - Rod?
- Fine, I promise.Copy !req
420. Thank you.Copy !req
421. Hi, Kevin.Copy !req
422. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
423. Thank you, dear.Copy !req
424. Frank.Copy !req
425. So, Frank.Copy !req
426. I'm sure you've heard the plan
to get you a new heart is going great.Copy !req
427. Nope.Copy !req
428. Well, it is.Copy !req
429. You can say thanks, if you wanted.Copy !req
430. No, I'm good.Copy !req
431. I know what you're doing, Frank.Copy !req
432. You're trying to make me lose
my temper.Copy !req
433. But it's not gonna happen.Copy !req
434. I'm afraid cooler heads have prevailed.Copy !req
435. You're the devil!Copy !req
436. All right! That's enough.Copy !req
437. Frank, back to bed.Copy !req
438. Rod, outside.Copy !req
439. Fine.Copy !req
440. Have fun being married to Satan!Copy !req
441. Nice work, Rico!Copy !req
442. So, Denise. Tell me about Jonathan.
What's that dude all about?Copy !req
443. Well, we've been going out
for about a year.Copy !req
444. - And it's going well?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
445. I mean, every relationship has
its ups and downs, but...Copy !req
446. Right. I've heard that.Copy !req
447. And he's a nice guy?Copy !req
448. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's really smart.Copy !req
449. He's actually in line to become
a junior partner at his law firm.Copy !req
450. Right. Totally.
You guys should break up.Copy !req
451. - What?
- Nothing. Hey, Dave's back.Copy !req
452. You guys, the bathroom here is nuts.Copy !req
453. What do I owe you?Copy !req
454. $7.25.Copy !req
455. So,Copy !req
456. hi.Copy !req
457. $2.39's your change. Thank you.Copy !req
458. We don't talk much, do we?
Cathy, was it?Copy !req
459. I'm Rod. I do awesome stunts.Copy !req
460. All the time, with my friends.
You probably didn't know that.Copy !req
461. And you probably have lots of cool stuff
about you that I don't know.Copy !req
462. The point is, if you don't sit down
with someone and really talkCopy !req
463. and get to know them,
you never find those things out.Copy !req
464. So, what do you say?
You wanna make this thing official?Copy !req
465. Are you asking me out?Copy !req
466. Oh, Cathy!Copy !req
467. Wow, Rod. I can't believe she said yes.Copy !req
468. Yeah, well, you have only to believe if
you wish to achieve, Kevin.Copy !req
469. That rhymed. Unintentional.Copy !req
470. Man, Rod. I am just green
with jealous rage right now.Copy !req
471. - She's really pretty.
- I know, D.Copy !req
472. But it's more than that with Cathy.
It's emotional.Copy !req
473. She really gets me.Copy !req
474. Tell you what. Why don't you grab
that brainy beau of yoursCopy !req
475. and we'll make it a double date.Copy !req
476. Really?Copy !req
477. - Sure.
- Okay. That sounds like fun.Copy !req
478. Great, because I also think
it sounds like fun.Copy !req
479. A lot.Copy !req
480. Frank.Copy !req
481. I know you're sleeping,Copy !req
482. but I just wanted you to know
that training is going really great.Copy !req
483. My reflexes are sharp.Copy !req
484. I'm crazy agile.Copy !req
485. And I have a date.Copy !req
486. So, anyways, that's the update.Copy !req
487. Sleep tight.Copy !req
488. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
489. Oh, when you're going on a dateCopy !req
490. You put on a shirtCopy !req
491. And you drive your bike to the dateCopy !req
492. Looks like you got stood up, huh?Copy !req
493. No, she's coming.Copy !req
494. Okay.Copy !req
495. Hey, guys, can I take your order?Copy !req
496. No, we're actually waiting for...Copy !req
497. Yeah, we'll take
three Flaming Dr. Peppers.Copy !req
498. Okay.Copy !req
499. So, Super Dave.Copy !req
500. Denise tells me you're working on
some pretty big-time stuff.Copy !req
501. Yeah, well, I been doing stunts
since I was a kid,Copy !req
502. so it's not really a big deal to me.Copy !req
503. Yeah, me neither.
I was just being polite.Copy !req
504. But thanks for letting me off the hook.Copy !req
505. Jonathan.Copy !req
506. Here we go.Copy !req
507. Oh, speak of diablo.Copy !req
508. Bombs away.Copy !req
509. Boom! There's the flavor!Copy !req
510. So, how's your mom holding up, Rod?Copy !req
511. Oh, pretty good, I guess.Copy !req
512. I mean, sometimes I think
she's really sad.Copy !req
513. Holy shit, is that Sullivan? Sully!Copy !req
514. - Bro, no way!
- No way, Sully.Copy !req
515. Babe, I gotta say "what up" to Sullivan.Copy !req
516. - Okay.
- Sweet.Copy !req
517. Hey. Don't you two go falling in love
while I'm gone.Copy !req
518. Like that'll happen.Copy !req
519. Sullivan, you chode!
I owe you a shot to the nuts!Copy !req
520. Maybe you should call her, Rod.
Just check in.Copy !req
521. Nah. She hates it
when I try and keep tabs on her. So...Copy !req
522. Hey, Denise?Copy !req
523. Have I ever showed you a picture
of my dead dad?Copy !req
524. - No.
- Oh, you've gotta see it.Copy !req
525. He's super dead.Copy !req
526. - That's him?
- Yeah.Copy !req
527. He looks so nice.Copy !req
528. He was a stuntman?Copy !req
529. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
530. He used to work for Evel Knievel,
testing his bikes before big jumps.Copy !req
531. He would do the jumps first,
to make sure they were safeCopy !req
532. and then let Evel come in
and get all the glory.Copy !req
533. And, after a while, the old man said,Copy !req
534. "To hell with that.
I want the credit I deserve."Copy !req
535. So, one afternoon,
he set out to jump ten milk trucks.Copy !req
536. He nailed the takeoff, but when he
landed, something terrible happened.Copy !req
537. His front tire exploded like a cannonballCopy !req
538. and his handlebars went
straight through his head.Copy !req
539. Blood was everywhere.Copy !req
540. His teeth were ground down to a powderCopy !req
541. and the front of his face exploded
out the back of his skull.Copy !req
542. He died instantly,Copy !req
543. the next day.Copy !req
544. That's horrible.Copy !req
545. I know.Copy !req
546. When my mom married Frank,Copy !req
547. I kept my dad's last name
to honor his memory.Copy !req
548. And every time I do a stunt,
I know he's watching.Copy !req
549. Okay, people, training's going great,
but Frank's running out of time.Copy !req
550. So I'm officially kicking off phase two,Copy !req
551. Operation Fiscal Jackhammer.Copy !req
552. Starting right now, we're gonna fill
this jug with 5 grand.Copy !req
553. Let's work!Copy !req
554. - All right. Who has the keys?
- Oh, man.Copy !req
555. Rod, we're gonna be right there!Copy !req
556. Oh, my God. Find them, find them!Copy !req
557. I found the key.Copy !req
558. They grow up so fast.Copy !req
559. Get the fuck off my porch.Copy !req
560. Sounds good.Copy !req
561. Oh, no, Kevin!Copy !req
562. For he's a jolly good fellowCopy !req
563. For he's a jolly good fellowCopy !req
564. For he's a jolly good fellowCopy !req
565. - Is everything ready?
- Now?Copy !req
566. - No, not now!
- Blow it now!Copy !req
567. - You're a terrible stuntman.
- What?Copy !req
568. - You're a terrible stuntman!
- What?Copy !req
569. You're a terrible stuntman!Copy !req
570. I'm just kidding. I can hear you.
It was just really mean.Copy !req
571. Tai chi teaches that if you focus
your body and mind,Copy !req
572. you'll be able to perform
at the peak of your abilities.Copy !req
573. Yes, sensei.Copy !req
574. You don't have to call me sensei, Rod.Copy !req
575. Got it.Copy !req
576. Sensei, I have a question.Copy !req
577. Is there a tai chi moveCopy !req
578. that would make a grown man
crap his pants, and not know why?Copy !req
579. I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod.
That move does exist.Copy !req
580. But you're not ready for it yet.Copy !req
581. As you wish, sensei.Copy !req
582. Now we take the ball
and we push the ball away.Copy !req
583. Yeah, we could.Copy !req
584. Or you could cut the kiddie stuff
and show me the crap-yourself move.Copy !req
585. That didn't work.Copy !req
586. Anyways, I'm gonna get going, so,Copy !req
587. take it easy.
I'm gonna go see what Frank's doing.Copy !req
588. You wanted to see it, Rod.Copy !req
589. Yeah, I did want you to show me,
and you didn't, 'cause it didn't work.Copy !req
590. So now I'm gonna go, 'cause
there's nothing left for me to learn.Copy !req
591. Thank you, though, for trying.
That was very nice of you to try.Copy !req
592. Please believe
I do my laundry with no pants onCopy !req
593. Hey, half-brother.Copy !req
594. What you working on?Copy !req
595. - Nothing. I'm just messing around.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
596. Let's take a look.Copy !req
597. - Okay, but it's not really finished, so...
- Got it.Copy !req
598. That's something else
that I'm working on. For Mom.Copy !req
599. - Not for me.
- Right.Copy !req
600. Mom likes that stuff, so...Copy !req
601. Here's the right one.Copy !req
602. Dominique Wilkins.Copy !req
603. I'm Rod Kimble,
stuntman extraordinaire.Copy !req
604. Life is short.Copy !req
605. - That's it.
- Holy moly, Kev-bot.Copy !req
606. - That was beautiful.
- You liked it?Copy !req
607. Are you kidding me? I loved it!Copy !req
608. You're the next
Douglas Bubbletrousers!Copy !req
609. Wow, Rod. Thanks.Copy !req
610. Kevin, I just had a great idea.Copy !req
611. Hey, Frank.Copy !req
612. It's me, Rod.Copy !req
613. I just wanted to let you know,
we've already raised over $3,000.Copy !req
614. Soon, I'll jump 15 busesCopy !req
615. and then I'm gonna kick your ass.Copy !req
616. I'm gonna assume you're laughing
at some funny dream you're having.Copy !req
617. You're a pussy.Copy !req
618. What is that, sleep-talking?Copy !req
619. You suck.Copy !req
620. Frank, open your eyes.
You are not asleep!Copy !req
621. I am asleep, homo.Copy !req
622. Oh, it's so good to see him
smiling again.Copy !req
623. Yeah! And you know what
won't make him smile?Copy !req
624. When I murder him!Copy !req
625. And I am genuinely sorry
about the window!Copy !req
626. Enjoy the show. Hey, how are you?Copy !req
627. Enjoy the show.Copy !req
628. Yeah, I have various responsibilities
within the crew, you know.Copy !req
629. I'm kind of a jack-of-all-trades, really.
I one time manned a flamethrower.Copy !req
630. Cool.Copy !req
631. Of course it's cool.
It's awesome as shit.Copy !req
632. Here you go, Mr. And Mrs. Powell.
Front row seats.Copy !req
633. I hope you all enjoy the show.Copy !req
634. I can assure you I won't.Copy !req
635. - Thank you, Rico.
- Okay.Copy !req
636. Goodbye, Rico.Copy !req
637. Hey, I just did the numbers.Copy !req
638. We sold 200 tickets at 5 bucks apiece,
which comes to $1,000.Copy !req
639. Now, you add that to the money
from the birthday parties,Copy !req
640. and it's over $4,900.Copy !req
641. Rod, we're really gonna do this jump.Copy !req
642. Of course we are, Kevin.
We're geniuses!Copy !req
643. Oh, heads up.Copy !req
644. Oh, man.Copy !req
645. This guy's a moron!Copy !req
646. Shut up!Copy !req
647. You suck!Copy !req
648. We're all laughing at Rod!Copy !req
649. The devil's liesCopy !req
650. Run, red man
Run for your lifeCopy !req
651. Oh, my God. Bear.
No, there's a bear. Bear!Copy !req
652. Kevin, turn it off!Copy !req
653. - Rod...
- I said, turn it off!Copy !req
654. I try to drink at least two a day.Copy !req
655. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
656. My Native American healer...Copy !req
657. Hey, what happened to the crazy movie!Copy !req
658. Take it easy! Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
659. What the hell was that all about?Copy !req
660. What the hell was that all about?Copy !req
661. Rod, I'm sorry.
I don't know what they're laughing at.Copy !req
662. Your video made me look like an idiot!Copy !req
663. - I didn't mean to.
- What was it, Kev? Jealousy?Copy !req
664. You couldn't take everyone loving
my stunts and thinking you're short?Copy !req
665. - I'm not short.
- Yes, you are!Copy !req
666. No, I'm not!Copy !req
667. Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, guys.Copy !req
668. - Oh, you guys.
- Come on, they're serious,Copy !req
669. let them work it out.
Let them work it out.Copy !req
670. Let them work it out.Copy !req
671. Okay, I'm out. Peace, I'm out.Copy !req
672. What do you want?Copy !req
673. Come sit down, honey.Copy !req
674. I failed, Mom.Copy !req
675. I lost all the money
and people laughed at my stunts.Copy !req
676. Dad would've been ashamed of me.Copy !req
677. Rod, there's something
I have to tell you.Copy !req
678. Something that I should've told you
a long time ago.Copy !req
679. What?Copy !req
680. I haven't been completely honest
with you about your father.Copy !req
681. You see, he wasn't a stuntman.Copy !req
682. What?Copy !req
683. He was a cashier in a tire shop.Copy !req
684. But what about the picture?Copy !req
685. It was just a picture.Copy !req
686. Evel Knievel came to town, and
he posed with everyone in the store.Copy !req
687. You lied.Copy !req
688. You had such an imagination as a boy,Copy !req
689. and when you saw that pictureCopy !req
690. you started to make up
these wonderful stories.Copy !req
691. And I didn't have the heart to tell you
it wasn't true.Copy !req
692. You have to believe me.
I did it out of love.Copy !req
693. So, how did he die?Copy !req
694. He choked on some pie.Copy !req
695. What? Come on. Seriously?Copy !req
696. He wanted to win that contest so badly.Copy !req
697. Well,Copy !req
698. I guess if he wasn't a stuntman,
then neither am I.Copy !req
699. Rod.Copy !req
700. Rod!Copy !req
701. You did the right thing, honey.Copy !req
702. There he is.Copy !req
703. Rod! Hey, Rod!Copy !req
704. Hold it right there, Rod.Copy !req
705. What in the hell
do you think you're doing?Copy !req
706. Grocery shopping.Copy !req
707. I don't understand, Rod.Copy !req
708. I'm not a stuntman, Dave. I never was.
Just a normal dude.Copy !req
709. Well, what the hell are we supposed to
do, huh? Where's that leave us?Copy !req
710. I dunno, Rico. You tell me.Copy !req
711. What ever happened to
"Live as a team, die as a team?"Copy !req
712. It's a sham, okay?
There's no such thing as a team.Copy !req
713. You live and die alone.Copy !req
714. Do you see what you're doing to him?
You're making him upset.Copy !req
715. How important is this to you? Huh?Copy !req
716. I don't even cry, and look at me.Copy !req
717. You're about to make
tears come out of my face.Copy !req
718. I'm sorry, okay?
This isn't what I wanted.Copy !req
719. Who am I supposed to build ramps for?Copy !req
720. Who am I supposed to
build ramps for now?Copy !req
721. I just wanna be friends, Rod.Copy !req
722. I want us to...Copy !req
723. For serious.Copy !req
724. You wanna know
why I joined the crew, Rod?Copy !req
725. It's 'cause ever since we were kids,Copy !req
726. you've always done exactly
what you wanted to do.Copy !req
727. And everybody else just grew up,
and got boring, and sold out.Copy !req
728. But you stayed exactly the same.Copy !req
729. Who cares what anyone thinks?Copy !req
730. You don't get it, do you, Denise?
I used to be legit.Copy !req
731. In fact, I was too legit.Copy !req
732. I was too legit to quit.Copy !req
733. But now I'm not legit.Copy !req
734. I'm un-legit.Copy !req
735. And for that reason, I must quit.Copy !req
736. You don't mean that.Copy !req
737. Yeah. I do.Copy !req
738. Stay sweet.Copy !req
739. - Hello?
- Rod. Hey, buddy, it's Dave.Copy !req
740. - From the crew.
- Yeah?Copy !req
741. Hey, man, what's going on, man?Copy !req
742. I just, you know, wanted to call,
see how you're doing.Copy !req
743. Maybe you'd wanna hang out,
you know?Copy !req
744. Possibly take me to the hospital?Copy !req
745. - You know? If you're free.
- Is everything okay?Copy !req
746. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
Everything's great.Copy !req
747. No, no. But, you know, it's probably
just precautionary, you know.Copy !req
748. If you just wanna swing by, man,Copy !req
749. I'd totally appreciate it.Copy !req
750. Yeah, sure. Just give me a minute.Copy !req
751. Rod, thank you so much...Copy !req
752. Hey, Rod. Thanks for the ride...Copy !req
753. Hey, buddy, how's it going?Copy !req
754. Dave, what happened to your eye?Copy !req
755. - This?
- Yeah.Copy !req
756. - Is it really noticeable?
- Yeah.Copy !req
757. Oh, man, it's totally serendipitous.
Well, I got off work early.Copy !req
758. And you know my buddy, Derrick?
Well, he was like...Copy !req
759. "I've got this acid, but I can't do it."Copy !req
760. And I was all like,Copy !req
761. "Well, I'll do it."Copy !req
762. So I did it.Copy !req
763. And by the time I got on
my banana board, man, I was...Copy !req
764. I was tripping balls pretty hard, man.Copy !req
765. So, I decided to get on my
bench grinderCopy !req
766. and a piece of metal flew up
and hit me right in the eye.Copy !req
767. It was pretty awesome.Copy !req
768. And that brings us to now.Copy !req
769. Yeah, well, just try and relax.Copy !req
770. Can do, man. Can do.Copy !req
771. I'm gonna be honest with you, Rod.Copy !req
772. You look like a giant eagle
with fire all around youCopy !req
773. and you've got a mountain for a face.Copy !req
774. I'm guessing that's the drugs, Dave.Copy !req
775. Yeah, but it's also just kind of weird
seeing you drive this minivan.Copy !req
776. Yeah, well, it's my mom's.Copy !req
777. Balls, man!Copy !req
778. Man, we just ran over a small bus.Copy !req
779. This really small bus,
we just ran over it.Copy !req
780. I didn't see anything.Copy !req
781. Hey, we're here.Copy !req
782. Seriously, man, this is, like,Copy !req
783. one of the top ten nicest things
anybody has ever done for me.Copy !req
784. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
785. Hey,Copy !req
786. I know things are feeling
pretty bad for you right now,Copy !req
787. what with your biological dad not being
a real stuntman and whatnot, but,Copy !req
788. I dunno, the way I look at it,
you've still got this other dad at home,Copy !req
789. sick in bed,
and you sure do love him, man.Copy !req
790. And if he's sick, and you've got
the talent to make him better,Copy !req
791. well, that's pretty special.Copy !req
792. And to deny that would just beCopy !req
793. dumb.Copy !req
794. All right. Take it easy, mountain-face!Copy !req
795. - Hospital?
- Trash can!Copy !req
796. Sweet. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
797. Teacher, there are thingsCopy !req
798. That I don't wanna learnCopy !req
799. 'Cause there ain't no joyCopy !req
800. For an uptown...Copy !req
801. Hey.Copy !req
802. Hey.Copy !req
803. So, look,Copy !req
804. I was way out of line, and I'm sorry.Copy !req
805. It's okay.Copy !req
806. Sorry about your dad.Copy !req
807. Thanks.Copy !req
808. So, cool beans?Copy !req
809. Cool beans.Copy !req
810. Cool beans.Copy !req
811. Cool beans.Copy !req
812. Cool beans.Copy !req
813. - Cool beans.
- Cool beans.Copy !req
814. - Cool beans.
- Cool beans.Copy !req
815. - Cool, cool.
- Bean, beans.Copy !req
816. - Cool.
- Beans.Copy !req
817. - Cool, cool.
- Beans, beans.Copy !req
818. - Cool...
- Beans.Copy !req
819. - Cool, cool
- Beans, beansCopy !req
820. - Cool
- BeansCopy !req
821. - Cool
- BeansCopy !req
822. - Cool, cool
- Beans, beansCopy !req
823. - Cool
- BeansCopy !req
824. - Cool, cool
- Beans, beansCopy !req
825. - Cool
- BeansCopy !req
826. - Cool, cool
- Beans, beansCopy !req
827. - Cool
- BeansCopy !req
828. - Cool, cool, cool
- BeansCopy !req
829. Cool beans!Copy !req
830. So, cool beans?Copy !req
831. Yeah. Cool beans.Copy !req
832. Good.
Because I have some exciting news.Copy !req
833. So, before the screening,Copy !req
834. I took the liberty of posting
some of the stunt footage online.Copy !req
835. Great.Copy !req
836. Well, I guess people
liked what they saw,Copy !req
837. because it started to get sent around.Copy !req
838. As of this morning,
it's been downloadedCopy !req
839. over 100,000 times.Copy !req
840. Seriously?Copy !req
841. Yeah. It's bouncing around the web like
a beach ball at a Nickelback concert.Copy !req
842. But that's not even the best part.Copy !req
843. KNER called us.Copy !req
844. - The AM radio station?
- Yeah.Copy !req
845. They heard about the web stuff,
and how we're trying to save FrankCopy !req
846. and they wanna sponsor the bus jump,Copy !req
847. with all the proceeds going
to Frank's surgery.Copy !req
848. And what'd you tell them?Copy !req
849. I think you'll be needing this.Copy !req
850. Oh, hey, Mr. Pasternack.Copy !req
851. Hey, Kevin.Copy !req
852. Hi. Mr. Pasternack, I'd like
to introduce you to my brother, Rod.Copy !req
853. - Pleasure to meet you, son.
- Hi.Copy !req
854. Mr. Pasternack is the owner of
the radio station that's funding the jump.Copy !req
855. And I'm the number one DJ.Copy !req
856. No shit.Copy !req
857. I've gotta tell you, boys, I couldn't be
more excited about this jump.Copy !req
858. When people hear me describing it over
the radio, they are going to rememberCopy !req
859. that AM radio is a viable and modern
source for news and entertainment.Copy !req
860. Totally.Copy !req
861. I used to be number one in this town,Copy !req
862. but people don't listen to AM
like they used to.Copy !req
863. Seems like it's more
about FM and color TV.Copy !req
864. - That's stupid.
- It sure is, Kevin.Copy !req
865. In fact, I've got a tattoo here
that fully illustrates my point.Copy !req
866. It's of this rebellious young man,
and he's urinating on an FM radio.Copy !req
867. And then this other stream of urine is
going onto that television set.Copy !req
868. Implausible, I know,Copy !req
869. but I like to imagine
that he had sex the night before,Copy !req
870. and now a little bit of residue
is blocking his urethra,Copy !req
871. allowing the urine to flow
in two separate directions.Copy !req
872. You may also note that an AM radio
is sitting, safely dry, in the middle.Copy !req
873. It's on a little magic carpet there.Copy !req
874. Oh, yeah, look at that.Copy !req
875. Now, Rod, I've spent
the station's last $15,000 on this.Copy !req
876. So it has to be a big success.
You understand?Copy !req
877. - You can count on me, sir.
- Excellent.Copy !req
878. This is the big one, boys.
This is the one that brings us back.Copy !req
879. Soon, AM radio will reign king
once more!Copy !req
880. Honey, your phone's ringing.Copy !req
881. What?Copy !req
882. Don't worry, I got it.Copy !req
883. Hello.Copy !req
884. Hi, may I speak to Denise, please?Copy !req
885. No, she's in the can.
Can I take a message?Copy !req
886. - Jonathan?
- Yup.Copy !req
887. Okay. You got a pen?Copy !req
888. Yes, sir. Got one right here.Copy !req
889. The message is,Copy !req
890. "Denise, it's Rod.Copy !req
891. "I'm jumping 15 buses tomorrow at
the fairgrounds. Hope you can make it."Copy !req
892. Fifteen buses.Copy !req
893. Wait, did you really write it down,Copy !req
894. or are you just waving your arm
around in the air?Copy !req
895. Come on.
Rod, you've got some imagination, kid.Copy !req
896. Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna get her the message.Copy !req
897. Okay.Copy !req
898. Who was that?Copy !req
899. Wrong number.Copy !req
900. I give the old man a week.Copy !req
901. Really insensitive, Bob.Copy !req
902. He's had a bad day.Copy !req
903. Maybe you should sit with him.Copy !req
904. Hey, Frank.Copy !req
905. I know you're not feeling so good,
but I need you to hold on a little longer.Copy !req
906. The big jump's tomorrow.Copy !req
907. We're gonna sell ticketsCopy !req
908. and people are gonna hear about it
at home on the AM radioCopy !req
909. and donate money.Copy !req
910. It's basically the perfect plan.Copy !req
911. You're gonna get yourself killed.Copy !req
912. Well, I'd rather die than live in a world
where I can't kick your ass.Copy !req
913. Rod.Copy !req
914. What?Copy !req
915. You know why I've been so hard on you?Copy !req
916. Because when I'm gone, you're gonna
have to be the man around here.Copy !req
917. Frank, if I do land this jump,
will you respect me?Copy !req
918. Not until you beat me in a fight,
you pathetic washout.Copy !req
919. I can't wait to punch your face in.Copy !req
920. And I can't wait for you to try.Copy !req
921. What the hell? Was that because of us?Copy !req
922. I dunno, man. It started off
super positive, then it just got crazy.Copy !req
923. I did not like that at all.Copy !req
924. No, Kev. None of us did.Copy !req
925. Yeah, it was totally messed up.Copy !req
926. It's disgusting how people will just,
you know, take something goodCopy !req
927. - and just take advantage of a situation.
- Yeah.Copy !req
928. There was no time to do anything,
except just leaveCopy !req
929. and just hope that you're not hurt.Copy !req
930. It's great to have you guys back,
by the way.Copy !req
931. - Well, thank you, man.
- Feels good to be back.Copy !req
932. - So, you wanna...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
933. The dog walked itself home,
ate a pizza, and took a nap.Copy !req
934. In local news,
self-proclaimed stuntman Rod KimbleCopy !req
935. is going to attempt to jump
fifteen buses today.Copy !req
936. We would bring you
coverage of the jump,Copy !req
937. but apparently an AM radio station
has the exclusive broadcasting rights.Copy !req
938. In other news, riots broke out...Copy !req
939. Terrific.Copy !req
940. Buckle your seatbelts
and open your ears,Copy !req
941. it's a jump for the ages today
on KNER AM.Copy !req
942. But first, here's Duke Wentworth
with A Jim-Jam Jubilee.Copy !req
943. - All right, there you go.
- Here, Rod.Copy !req
944. - Cool, what's your name?
- Matt.Copy !req
945. Matt. You are cool. Don't be like Frank.Copy !req
946. Rod. There you go.Copy !req
947. Thanks, Rod.Copy !req
948. All right, thanks, guys.
And don't let your dads eat pie.Copy !req
949. Hey, Kev.Copy !req
950. - Have you seen Denise anywhere?
- No, I haven't seen her all day.Copy !req
951. - What was that?
- We just hit a raccoon.Copy !req
952. Jonathan, don't you think
we should stop?Copy !req
953. Oh, trust me, babe. That raccoon
would not have stopped for us.Copy !req
954. Are you serious?Copy !req
955. Oh, my God. I can't wait to tell Sullivan.
He'll be so psyched.Copy !req
956. I'm gonna grab a Vitaminwater.
Should I make that dos?Copy !req
957. No, thanks.Copy !req
958. Coolio.Copy !req
959. Hey, maybe I'll get a box of dong bagsCopy !req
960. so we can knock boots later,
what do you think?Copy !req
961. Truly a momentous day for listeningCopy !req
962. as stuntman Rod Kimble
will jump 15 busesCopy !req
963. in a last-ditch effort
to save his stepfather.Copy !req
964. My oops, forgot my wallet.Copy !req
965. Jonathan, Rod's doing the jump.Copy !req
966. Oh, my God, who cares?Copy !req
967. Babe, why do you hang
with those nerds?Copy !req
968. I like those nerds.Copy !req
969. Well, guess what?
You're embarrassing yourself.Copy !req
970. It's only embarrassing if you care
what people think.Copy !req
971. That's a good one. I like that.Copy !req
972. - Babe?
- Goodbye.Copy !req
973. Babe, wait. Babe, wait.Copy !req
974. Babe, wait! Babe!Copy !req
975. Babe, wait! Babe. Babe. Babe.Copy !req
976. Babe! Babe, wait. Babe, no!Copy !req
977. Babe, no! Babe, no!Copy !req
978. Babe!Copy !req
979. Babe, babe, babe! No, babe!Copy !req
980. Wait!Copy !req
981. No way.Copy !req
982. You're gonna look
like a champion, Rod.Copy !req
983. You guys, this thing is number one.Copy !req
984. - Wait, Rod, there's more.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
985. We were worried that the moped
might not be fast enoughCopy !req
986. to clear the jump, so...Copy !req
987. No way.Copy !req
988. Whoa.Copy !req
989. Dave, this thing is number one!Copy !req
990. Now, I know she doesn't look like much,
but trust me, man.Copy !req
991. - She's got some kick. A lot.
- All right.Copy !req
992. There's one more thing, Rod.Copy !req
993. I know how you like explosions
and showmanship and stuff.Copy !req
994. So, I rigged the whole jump
with fireworks.Copy !req
995. Cool.Copy !req
996. And I got you this rock to represent
all my hard work.Copy !req
997. Oh, cool, Rico.Copy !req
998. That's number one.Copy !req
999. Yeah, you can pretty much just toss
that after the fireworks go off. It's cool.Copy !req
1000. Thanks.Copy !req
1001. Thanks, all of you.Copy !req
1002. Okay, everyone. It's the moment
we've all been waiting for.Copy !req
1003. Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Rod Kimble!Copy !req
1004. He's going in circles!Copy !req
1005. Rod!Copy !req
1006. Rod!Copy !req
1007. Rod!Copy !req
1008. Who wants to see me do
a big-ass stunt?Copy !req
1009. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1010. What is destiny?Copy !req
1011. What is fate?Copy !req
1012. I dedicate this jump to fathers
and father figures everywhere.Copy !req
1013. I hope that in some small way
all of their sons manage to jump them.Copy !req
1014. Frank, I'm gonna get you better,
you old sack of shit.Copy !req
1015. And then I am gonna uncork the
ass-beating of a lifetime on you!Copy !req
1016. And you will respect me!Copy !req
1017. Peace!Copy !req
1018. Kimble clearly has a few issues
with his stepfather there.Copy !req
1019. But who doesn't? I know I do.Copy !req
1020. You got this, man!Copy !req
1021. Just remember.
Drive really, really, really fast, okay?Copy !req
1022. And hold on tight! You'll be fine!Copy !req
1023. I'm so nervous for you!Copy !req
1024. And everybody here is!
We're nervous for you!Copy !req
1025. I was just in the bathroom,Copy !req
1026. and everybody's talking about
how crazy this is.Copy !req
1027. - Okay.
- Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1028. You're gonna do great!
Now go kick those buses' ass!Copy !req
1029. You good?Copy !req
1030. Do you like stunts?
What about terminally ill stepfathers?Copy !req
1031. Well, if you answered yes to one
or both of those questions,Copy !req
1032. you couldn't have picked a better day
to stumble upon KNER radio.Copy !req
1033. Hey, Rod!Copy !req
1034. Denise. You came.Copy !req
1035. Of course.Copy !req
1036. Oh, wow.Copy !req
1037. Yeah.Copy !req
1038. - Denise, I don't know what I'm doing.
- What?Copy !req
1039. I mean, this jump is huge. I could die.Copy !req
1040. You're the bravest guy I know, Rod.Copy !req
1041. I don't know what to believe anymore.Copy !req
1042. Believe in this.Copy !req
1043. Oh, wait.Copy !req
1044. What? You don't...Copy !req
1045. No, I do. I do. I just...Copy !req
1046. - Your mouth was all open.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
1047. It was just like...Copy !req
1048. Anyways.Copy !req
1049. Oh, whoa, wait, what?
Why is Rod kissing his sister, man?Copy !req
1050. Denise isn't his sister.Copy !req
1051. - She's not?
- No.Copy !req
1052. Man, that shatters my entire universe.Copy !req
1053. I'm not saying
that kiss was hot, listeners,Copy !req
1054. but if the boner police are here,
I demand a lawyer!Copy !req
1055. - Good luck, Rod.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1056. All right, swing man. Back in business.Copy !req
1057. Hey, how are you?Copy !req
1058. Kimble's preparing
for his final approach.Copy !req
1059. Ascending the multiple ramp levels
to the tippy-top.Copy !req
1060. Why'd the numbers stop?Copy !req
1061. I guess people wanna see
what happens.Copy !req
1062. Souls of the animal kingdom.Copy !req
1063. Eagle, fox, bottlenose dolphin,
octopus, house cat.Copy !req
1064. Okay.Copy !req
1065. Let's jump this jump.Copy !req
1066. Come on, Rod!Copy !req
1067. Here he goes.Copy !req
1068. He's driving the bikey-thing
with his hands and legs.Copy !req
1069. This needs to be seen to be believed!Copy !req
1070. Three, two, one, liftoff!Copy !req
1071. Oh, he's like a broken doll.Copy !req
1072. Oh, this does not look good.Copy !req
1073. Rod's crew is running to his side.Copy !req
1074. I, for one, hope none of them had a fight
with Rod this morning,Copy !req
1075. because he is more than likely dead.Copy !req
1076. - Rod.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
1077. - Rod, are you okay? Can you hear me?
- Step aside, please.Copy !req
1078. Rod, stay away from the light, man.
Don't go towards that light.Copy !req
1079. Rod?Copy !req
1080. Oh, God, he's probably havingCopy !req
1081. some sort of profound,
out-of-body experience.Copy !req
1082. Hi.Copy !req
1083. Oh, yes. Yes.Copy !req
1084. Yes.Copy !req
1085. - I'm not getting any vitals.
- Oh, Rod.Copy !req
1086. Rod?Copy !req
1087. Finish him! Finish him!Copy !req
1088. Yes, taco!Copy !req
1089. Rod? Rod?Copy !req
1090. Denise?Copy !req
1091. Hoobastank.Copy !req
1092. He's alive.Copy !req
1093. Denise. You were right.Copy !req
1094. The taco won.Copy !req
1095. Okay, Rod. Okay.Copy !req
1096. Time to get up.Copy !req
1097. - No, no, Rod, don't move. Don't move.
- You could have internal injuries.Copy !req
1098. Sorry, guys. I'm walking out of here.Copy !req
1099. No, no, no. No, no, no, Rod.Copy !req
1100. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1101. It appears Kimble is awake,
and he's trying to stand up.Copy !req
1102. Seriously, you're probably
hurt pretty bad.Copy !req
1103. I'd say definitely, Kevin.Copy !req
1104. I'd wager 10 to 20 broken bones,
minimum.Copy !req
1105. But life is painCopy !req
1106. and we've got to scrape the joy out of it
every chance we get.Copy !req
1107. - Excuse me.
- Okay.Copy !req
1108. Rod.Copy !req
1109. Rod! Rod! Rod!Copy !req
1110. The crowd is cheering Kimble
back to life.Copy !req
1111. Rod! Rod! Rod!Copy !req
1112. Rod! Rod! Rod!Copy !req
1113. And the phones are ringing off the hook!Copy !req
1114. Rod. Rod, look. Look.Copy !req
1115. We did it!Copy !req
1116. They've done it!Copy !req
1117. They've raised $50,000
for Frank's conveniently-priced surgery.Copy !req
1118. Rod, Rod! Over here!Copy !req
1119. We did it, Richardson!Copy !req
1120. Rod knows my name.
Rod knows my name.Copy !req
1121. Rod knows my name!Copy !req
1122. People are screaming
and jumping up and down.Copy !req
1123. The fairgrounds are literally shaking!Copy !req
1124. A cooked goose for everyone!Copy !req
1125. It's Ebenezer Scrooge!Copy !req
1126. Yes, a cooked goose.Copy !req
1127. Dave.Copy !req
1128. - Rod, do you really need to do this?
- Yes.Copy !req
1129. Come on, Rod. The doctor said
his heart's even stronger than before.Copy !req
1130. You're not gonna win.Copy !req
1131. Kevin, it's not up for discussion.Copy !req
1132. Gods of war!Copy !req
1133. May your hammer be mightyCopy !req
1134. Here I am, Frank.Copy !req
1135. Get ready to meet your maker. Oh, God!Copy !req
1136. We hadn't even started yet!Copy !req
1137. Never underestimate your opponent.Copy !req
1138. What's up now, Frank?
I'm doing this because I love you!Copy !req
1139. - Never underestimate your opponent.
- Well, well, well.Copy !req
1140. Finally, a fight I might actually...Copy !req
1141. - Got you.
- What the hell? Is that a throwing star?Copy !req
1142. Oh, hell, yeah, Roddy! Kick his ass!Copy !req
1143. Come on, old man! Come on!Copy !req
1144. Old man, young heart!Copy !req
1145. Good Lord!Copy !req
1146. Oh, shit. No mercy.Copy !req
1147. Guys, come on, come on. That's rented.Copy !req
1148. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
1149. He just rocked him with a brick!Copy !req
1150. Oh!Copy !req
1151. Here we go.Copy !req
1152. - Should we stop them?
- Oh, no, they're fine.Copy !req
1153. - Oh, no.
- Say it, Frank!Copy !req
1154. - Say I'm a man.
- Never.Copy !req
1155. - Say it!
- You're a man.Copy !req
1156. Say it again!Copy !req
1157. You're a man, son.Copy !req
1158. You've gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
1159. Yeah!Copy !req