1. Red Riding Hood,
you probably know the story.Copy !req
2. But there's more to every tale
than meets the eye.Copy !req
3. It's just like they always say,
you can't judge a book by its cover.Copy !req
4. If you want to know the truth,
you've gotta flip through the pages.Copy !req
5. Granny!Copy !req
6. It's me, Red!Copy !req
7. Is everything OK?Copy !req
8. Oh, yeah, sure thing. Oome on in.Copy !req
9. What?Copy !req
10. - Who are you?
- I'm your grandma.Copy !req
11. Your face looks really weird, Granny.Copy !req
12. I've been sick. L...Copy !req
13. Your mouth doesn't move when you talk.Copy !req
14. Plastic surgery.
Grandma's had a little work done.Copy !req
15. Now, come on over here.
Let's have a look at you.Copy !req
16. So, what's going on, Grandma?Copy !req
17. This and that, doing a lot of quilting.Copy !req
18. So you got the loot?Copy !req
19. Whoa. What big hands you have.Copy !req
20. Oh, all the better
to scratch my back with.Copy !req
21. - And what big ears you have!
- All the better to hear your...Copy !req
22. many criticisms!Copy !req
23. Old people just have big ears, dear.Copy !req
24. And Granny, what big eyes you have!Copy !req
25. Are we just gonna sit around here
and talk about how big I'm getting?Copy !req
26. You came here for a reason. So tell
old Granny what you got in the basket.Copy !req
27. Ah, Granny! What bad breath you have!Copy !req
28. - All right!
- Ah!Copy !req
29. You again? What do I have to do,
get a restraining order?Copy !req
30. Settle down, little girl. I'm on to you.Copy !req
31. - Hai-ya!
- Save it, Red Fu.Copy !req
32. You been dodging me all day,
but now you might as well give up.Copy !req
33. Ahh!Copy !req
34. Ha!Copy !req
35. You crazy wolf!
What have you done with Granny?Copy !req
36. I'm taking Granny down, and you're next!Copy !req
37. - Granny!
- It's you! But you...Copy !req
38. Ohief Grizzly, are the suspectsCopy !req
39. - connected with the Goody Bandit?
- Yeah, uh...Copy !req
40. No. Don't print that, Maxine.
We don't know anything yet.Copy !req
41. Is the house made of gingerbread?Copy !req
42. - Don't think so.
- Do bears eat gingerbread?Copy !req
43. That's enough with the questions.
Jerry, come on! Get these people back!Copy !req
44. All right, back it up!
Let the chief do his job!Copy !req
45. Oome on, you, with the feathers,
back behind the snake.Copy !req
46. I just want to go home and hibernate.Copy !req
47. - Bill!
- Ohief!Copy !req
48. - All right, what do we got?
- It's a domestic disturbance.Copy !req
49. Breaking and entering, wielding an ax
without a license, intent to eat.Copy !req
50. I get it. Any connection
with the recipe robberies?Copy !req
51. You mean the Goody Bandit? Oould be.
The house belongs to Granny Puckett.Copy !req
52. - The cookbook lady?
- Yeah, that's the one.Copy !req
53. Hmm.Copy !req
54. OK, Paul Bunyan was swinging the ax,
and Wolfie was trying to eat Lil' Bit.Copy !req
55. - All right, get a muzzle on that guy.
- I can explain everything.Copy !req
56. You can explain it to the judge.Copy !req
57. - Shouldn't you be in school?
- Shouldn't I have a lawyer?Copy !req
58. Uh... What are you doing?Copy !req
59. - Hey. We was just...
- I was just smelling it.Copy !req
60. - Don't eat that. That's evidence.
- Right.Copy !req
61. All right, so this looks
pretty open-and-shut.Copy !req
62. Little Miss Rosy Oakes making covert
deliveries to the goody tycoon,Copy !req
63. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both,Copy !req
64. then Orazy Flannel Pants with the ax
here busts in swinging vigilante-style.Copy !req
65. Take 'em downtown, boys.Copy !req
66. It's the woods, chief.
We don't have a downtown.Copy !req
67. You know what I mean. Just book 'em!Copy !req
68. Not so fast, Grizzly.Copy !req
69. That's the problem with you bears,
always growling up the wrong tree.Copy !req
70. - Hey, Nicky!
- You on the case, Nick?Copy !req
71. No, just stopping by
to have a sarsaparilla.Copy !req
72. Say, Tommy, you lose some weight?Copy !req
73. - Uh, no.
- Didn't think so.Copy !req
74. Nicky Flippers. What are you
doing here? This is my case.Copy !req
75. Well, someone hibernated
on the wrong side of the cave.Copy !req
76. I saw the lights,
thought the circus was in town.Copy !req
77. Now, of course, I see I was right.Copy !req
78. You're too late, Nicky.
I got this case all wrapped up.Copy !req
79. - Is that right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
80. They got us all wrong, Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
81. Oh, I don't know,
you look pretty dangerous to me.Copy !req
82. - What's your name?
- Red.Copy !req
83. - And why do they call you that?
- Why do they call you "Flippers"?Copy !req
84. Go Flippers.Copy !req
85. - Jump! Get on!
- Go Flippers.Copy !req
86. Go Flippers Go Flippers.Copy !req
87. Uh, no reason.Copy !req
88. They call me Red
because of this red hood I wear.Copy !req
89. - What about when you're not wearing it?
- I usually wear it.Copy !req
90. Recipes have come up missing
all over the forest.Copy !req
91. Goody shops have been
going out of business for months,Copy !req
92. and the trail ends here.
I got a case to close.Copy !req
93. Slow down, chief. We've got four
suspects, and that means four stories,Copy !req
94. and if you get people talking long
enough, someone will spill the beans.Copy !req
95. - Beans?
- Oould I just make a quick phone call?Copy !req
96. Aaah!Copy !req
97. I'll tell you what happened.Copy !req
98. What's with the handcuffs on a girl?
Her wrists could slip right out.Copy !req
99. - How about a cage?
- Bring in the cage!Copy !req
100. - I was being sarcastic.
- Sarcasm. Strike the cage.Copy !req
101. All right, get the cuffs off her.Copy !req
102. So, Red, why don't you explain
how this all began?Copy !req
103. Well, like any other day.Copy !req
104. I was making deliveries
for my Granny's goody shop.Copy !req
105. Ba ba ba-da-ba-daCopy !req
106. Ba baCopy !req
107. Ba ba ba baCopy !req
108. Ba ba baCopy !req
109. Here's a story I hopeCopy !req
110. You'll likeCopy !req
111. It's the one about the girl
riding on her bikeCopy !req
112. - I know - Hi, Red!Copy !req
113. It's a tired old tale
but it still rings trueCopy !req
114. - Hey, Red.
- She could never be rudeCopy !req
115. - Or unkind - Hey!Copy !req
116. But a sad song played
at the back of her mindCopy !req
117. OhCopy !req
118. Oan someone show me a different dayCopy !req
119. To take me awayCopy !req
120. Take me out of the woodsCopy !req
121. Great big worldCopy !req
122. You know what I'm wanting for youCopy !req
123. You know what I'm wanting for youCopy !req
124. What I'm wanting for youCopy !req
125. Wanting for youCopy !req
126. Ahh!Copy !req
127. OhCopy !req
128. Hey, Red!Copy !req
129. Oh! Nice outfit. Always red with you.Copy !req
130. - You must be in autumn.
- Hey, Boingo.Copy !req
131. Aren't you helping the Muffin Man today?Copy !req
132. Oh, he closed up shop.
Someone took all his recipes last night,Copy !req
133. and now I'm out of a job.Copy !req
134. Gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry.
Are you still running the cable car?Copy !req
135. Yeah, yeah, I am.Copy !req
136. But it's nothing like
making goodies all day.Copy !req
137. Would a carrot crumpet
make you feel better?Copy !req
138. Oh, boy, oh, boy! Thanks, Red.
I can always count on you to deliver,Copy !req
139. you little rascally devil.Copy !req
140. Yeah, well, the woods
don't go around by themselves.Copy !req
141. Shut it down.Copy !req
142. - Oome on, let's go.
- Where are we going now, Mama?Copy !req
143. With the Goody Bandit on the loose,Copy !req
144. recipes were becoming
an endangered species.Copy !req
145. I decided to call Granny.Copy !req
146. If anyone would know what to do,
she would.Copy !req
147. I don't know what to do.
I'm just a tired old lady.Copy !req
148. Your recipes are the most famous
in the whole forest, Granny.Copy !req
149. What if they get swiped?
It could wipe you out.Copy !req
150. Maybe I should bring you
the recipe book, for safekeeping.Copy !req
151. A trip up the mountain
is too dangerous for a little girl.Copy !req
152. I'm not so little anymore.Copy !req
153. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes
there, and everything will be fine.Copy !req
154. - But...
- I have to go now. My program's on.Copy !req
155. Kisses.Copy !req
156. What you reading, Red?Copy !req
157. "Far Away Places"?Copy !req
158. - Are you going somewhere far away?
- No. The world is too dangerous.Copy !req
159. Oan't see! Danger! Turn into the skid!Copy !req
160. I'm OK. I'll walk it off.Copy !req
161. You can't go away.
Who's gonna ride the Goody Bike?Copy !req
162. If I had wings like you,
I'd fly all the way past that mountain,Copy !req
163. and the next one and the next one...Copy !req
164. But I can't. I'm just a kid.Copy !req
165. I'm just a woodpecker.Copy !req
166. Uh-oh.Copy !req
167. "You're next"?Copy !req
168. What... what does it mean, "you're next"?Copy !req
169. Ruined.Copy !req
170. It means someone wants our recipes.Copy !req
171. Are they gonna get your recipes?Copy !req
172. Not today.Copy !req
173. So you deliberately
took your Granny's recipesCopy !req
174. from the family vault,
without permission.Copy !req
175. - Help yourself.
- And then,Copy !req
176. you set out on a dangerous journey
up the mountain...Copy !req
177. - ... alone?
- Yeah. I guess I did.Copy !req
178. Critters have feelingsCopy !req
179. Well, critters have feelingsCopy !req
180. Critters have feelingsCopy !req
181. Well, critters have feelings tooCopy !req
182. Critters have feelings
Critters have feelingsCopy !req
183. I guess running the cable car's
not so bad, you know.Copy !req
184. It's a great way to see the forest
without worrying about all those big,Copy !req
185. mean, hairy beasts out there.Copy !req
186. - Beasts?
- Oh, yeah, you know, beasts.Copy !req
187. The wolves and the bobcats
and the mountain lionsCopy !req
188. and the saber-tooth tigers!
But mostly wolves.Copy !req
189. Mostly wolves.Copy !req
190. The forest can be a dangerous place for
a little guy like me, with my cute...Copy !req
191. Look at me, I'm fuzzy...
You deliver up this far?Copy !req
192. Well, not usually.Copy !req
193. But I was thinking
about what you told me earlier.Copy !req
194. About the Muffin Man?Copy !req
195. I need to protect Granny's recipes
from that Bandit's evil plan.Copy !req
196. They're gonna shut down everyone
in the forest if we're not careful.Copy !req
197. Aaah! Aah! Aah!Copy !req
198. - No!
- Aaah!Copy !req
199. Ohh!Copy !req
200. Aah! Whoa! Ohh!Copy !req
201. Aaah!Copy !req
202. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
203. Hello.Copy !req
204. So you're the little girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
205. That was quite a bit of falling
you did just now.Copy !req
206. - You saw that.
- Yeah, gravity's working.Copy !req
207. Those old cable cars on the...
You should write a letter.Copy !req
208. Wow! Something smells good.
Those, uh... goodies in there?Copy !req
209. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.Copy !req
210. No, you shouldn't. Good call.Copy !req
211. What are you doing
in the big, bad forest?Copy !req
212. You taking the goodies
to someone in particular?Copy !req
213. - Um... my granny.
- Granny?Copy !req
214. Granny Puckett? The goody lady?Copy !req
215. My goodness,
she makes some good... goodies.Copy !req
216. She's got a thing, it's like a...
It's like a... cookies.Copy !req
217. Shortbread,
chocolate icing between, very...Copy !req
218. It's good. Ah, it's very good.Copy !req
219. You make deliveries to your granny often?Copy !req
220. I don't think I should tell you that.Copy !req
221. Oh, you don't have anything else in that?Copy !req
222. You ask a lot of questions, mister.Copy !req
223. Well, I'm a curious guy.
Let me have a look.Copy !req
224. I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
225. Red! Red Riding Hood!Copy !req
226. Hand over the basket.Copy !req
227. Aaah!Copy !req
228. Red!Copy !req
229. You can't hold
onto those recipes forever!Copy !req
230. I'll get you, and your little Granny too!Copy !req
231. Well, that settles it.Copy !req
232. - We got our Bandit.
- Oould be.Copy !req
233. I'd like to count my chickens
after they hatch.Copy !req
234. Ohickens?Copy !req
235. You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping
kids in the middle of the forest...Copy !req
236. - That's pretty creepy.
- Right. Yes, yes.Copy !req
237. But we don't arrest people
for being creepy.Copy !req
238. Yeah, Bruce. You know that guy
we got in the tank?Copy !req
239. - The creepy one?
- Yeah. Better let him go.Copy !req
240. So you went on to Granny's?Copy !req
241. I found an old trail
up the north side of the mountain.Copy !req
242. Hello!Copy !req
243. Hello.Copy !req
244. I'm looking for Granny Puckett's house.Copy !req
245. Granny PuckettCopy !req
246. - Oould you stop singing for one moment?
- No, I can't, I wish I couldCopy !req
247. But a mountain witch done
put a spell on me 37 years agoCopy !req
248. And now I gotta sing everything I sayCopy !req
249. - Everything?
- That's right.Copy !req
250. You just talked! Just now!Copy !req
251. Did I?Copy !req
252. Did I?Copy !req
253. Did I, did I, did I
doo-dah, doo-dah did-I-dooCopy !req
254. - Granny?
- What's that? Who's there?Copy !req
255. It's Red. I'm on my way to come see...Copy !req
256. Oh, my dearie, I'm not prepared.Copy !req
257. I need to put down fresh doilies! Aah!Copy !req
258. - Granny! Granny, what's wrong?
- Gotta go, munchkin.Copy !req
259. Bonsai!Copy !req
260. Oh, no.Copy !req
261. Mr. Goat, my granny's in trouble.Copy !req
262. I've gotta find a way
around the mountain, fast.Copy !req
263. Well, you came to the right goatCopy !req
264. Oh, good. More singing.Copy !req
265. Thirty-seven years ago
a witch done put a spell on meCopy !req
266. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
267. A spell where when I'm talking
I'm singing it with gleeCopy !req
268. But when you're always singing
you've got to live aloneCopy !req
269. That's why I made
this mountain shack my homeCopy !req
270. That's great...Copy !req
271. When you're on the mountain
there's lots to be a-fearedCopy !req
272. That's why this here
old mountain goat's preparedCopy !req
273. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, doCopy !req
274. These tunnels, I need one
that leads to Puckett Grove.Copy !req
275. Ohh.Copy !req
276. But I got horns that open bottles
and I got horns that hold my keysCopy !req
277. I got horns that
when you turn 'em rightCopy !req
278. They help me watch TVCopy !req
279. I got horns that open pickle jars
and horns that come with hairCopy !req
280. I got horns that hang my other hornsCopy !req
281. I always come preparedCopy !req
282. - Oan you help me find...?
- To be prepared, to be preparedCopy !req
283. This lesson must be shared
This lesson must be sharedCopy !req
284. To be preparedCopy !req
285. To be prepared, to be preparedCopy !req
286. And unless you've got a spareCopy !req
287. You've got one life
so handle it with careCopy !req
288. - Aaah!
- Yipee!Copy !req
289. Keep your hands and feet
inside of the vehicle at all times!Copy !req
290. Whoo-wee!Copy !req
291. An avalanche is coming
and I do not feel preparedCopy !req
292. It's rumbling like a mountain lion
I must say that I'm scaredCopy !req
293. And if not for the witch's spell
you'd hearjust how I screamCopy !req
294. But since I'm only singing
I'll just yodel till we're creamedCopy !req
295. Aaah! Aaah!Copy !req
296. Aaah!Copy !req
297. Red!Copy !req
298. Granny?Copy !req
299. Use the hood, Red!Copy !req
300. Use the hood!Copy !req
301. What?Copy !req
302. I was prepared!Copy !req
303. Granny! It's me, Red. Ls everything OK?Copy !req
304. Oh, yeah, sure thing.Copy !req
305. So this wolf, he was dressed
as your grandmother?Copy !req
306. - Yes.
- I'm your grandma.Copy !req
307. - And you bought that?
- No, not really.Copy !req
308. Whoa. What big hands you have.Copy !req
309. And what big ears you have.Copy !req
310. What bad breath you have!
What big eyes you have.Copy !req
311. Are we just gonna sit around here
and talk about how big I'm getting?Copy !req
312. Then the fellow with the ax burst in?Copy !req
313. - Aaah!
- Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
314. No, no, not yet.Copy !req
315. First I was attacked by that crazy wolf!Copy !req
316. Hai-ya! You crazy wolf!Copy !req
317. My granny jumped out of a closet.Copy !req
318. - Aaah!
- But she was tied up...Copy !req
319. And then the axman cometh?Copy !req
320. You got it.Copy !req
321. Only he was screaming.Copy !req
322. Arghh?Copy !req
323. Like a maniac.Copy !req
324. - Wow.
- Hmm.Copy !req
325. - So that was it?
- That wolf was gonna eat us all.Copy !req
326. The guy's pawprints
are all over the room. Book him!Copy !req
327. Hold the phone, fuzzy-wuzzy.
Let's hear it from the wolf's mouth.Copy !req
328. - Don't I get a drink?
- No!Copy !req
329. So, Mr. Wolf, may I call you "Wolf"?Copy !req
330. You can call me Sheila.
I like long walks and fresh flowers.Copy !req
331. Quit playing around, Wolf!Copy !req
332. You're looking at three-to-five
in an old shoe with no windows!Copy !req
333. So start singing!Copy !req
334. - Your face looks familiar.
- I get around the forest.Copy !req
335. What do you for a living, Mr. Wolf?Copy !req
336. I'm a shepherd. Hey!Copy !req
337. You might as well confess.
I told them everything!Copy !req
338. Oould you keep her away from me, please?Copy !req
339. I remember you.Copy !req
340. Three years ago on the Stiltskin case.Copy !req
341. You were snooping around
for a lead on his real name.Copy !req
342. I was close too.Copy !req
343. I was gonna go with "Greg."
Greg Stiltskin.Copy !req
344. Wait a minute, Flippers!
You saying this guy's a cop?Copy !req
345. Worse. He's a reporter.Copy !req
346. - A what?
- And I've got the real story.Copy !req
347. I'm an investigativejournalist.Copy !req
348. You've probably read my column
Facts and Fairy Tales.Copy !req
349. I spent the last six months undercoverCopy !req
350. investigating
the so-called "Goody Bandit."Copy !req
351. As more recipes go missing,
the trail has gotten hotter.Copy !req
352. Huh?Copy !req
353. And I'm talking hot coffee, hot coffee,Copy !req
354. all over my neck. Very, very painful.Copy !req
355. People think a health board examiner
doesn't lead a dangerous life,Copy !req
356. but I will tell you, my furry friend,
food is dangerous.Copy !req
357. That's why Kenny told me
to come and take a look.Copy !req
358. - Who?
- Your boss, Kenny.Copy !req
359. - You mean Earl?
- That's what Earl said.Copy !req
360. He said, uh, "Kenny, come down here,"
and so, here I am.Copy !req
361. I'm surprised your dessert counter
hasn't been hit,Copy !req
362. with all the thievery going around.Copy !req
363. - What did you say your name was?
- Shaw. Rick Shaw. I'm in from Japan.Copy !req
364. Well, Kenny, I'm gonna
give you a clean bill of health.Copy !req
365. But I'm gonna need the names
of all your suppliers.Copy !req
366. You'll have to talk to Earl.Copy !req
367. Well, that's Earl right now.
Probably called the FDA.Copy !req
368. You keep that thing groomed.
And watch out for hot coffee. Painful.Copy !req
369. No desserts. Waste of time.Copy !req
370. The little delivery girl in the red hood.Copy !req
371. Always on the go.Copy !req
372. More goodies pass through her hands
than anyone's in the whole forest.Copy !req
373. She seemed happy...Copy !req
374. a little too happy, perhaps.Copy !req
375. Oh! Oreepy.Copy !req
376. I was starting to have my suspicions.Copy !req
377. Who does she move the goodies for?Copy !req
378. Where do they come from?
Where are they going?Copy !req
379. And why the hood?Copy !req
380. Aaah!Copy !req
381. - Twitchy, you scared me.
- Hey, boss, I beeped you. Get my beep?Copy !req
382. - Oalm down.
- I got up early. Got the gear.Copy !req
383. I was watching the girl
like you told me to.Copy !req
384. - Yeah. Did you see where she went?
- Past porcupines and the bird's tree,Copy !req
385. guy with the beard, now she's
up the creek! She sings everywhere!Copy !req
386. I'm way ahead of you.
We gotta find out who she's working for.Copy !req
387. - You got the camera?
- The 220x and photograb with autofocus!Copy !req
388. - Oolor or black and white?
- Doesn't matter.Copy !req
389. - I brought a flash!
- Put that away!Copy !req
390. - It's covert. No flash.
- Undercover, got it.Copy !req
391. Nobody sees, nobody knows.
Olick-click. Hee-hee.Copy !req
392. You ever thought
about decaffeinated coffee?Copy !req
393. I don't drink coffee!Copy !req
394. Hmm...Copy !req
395. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon.Copy !req
396. I decided to get the word on the
street from one of my top informants.Copy !req
397. - How's it going, Woolworth?
- Man, what are you doing here?Copy !req
398. The shepherd comes by and sees me
talking to you, I'm gonna get the crook.Copy !req
399. Yeah? There's a bigger crook
on the loose that I'm concerned about.Copy !req
400. - What ya hear about the Goody Bandit?
- What do I know?Copy !req
401. Hiya, Twitchy.Copy !req
402. - The little girl in the red hood.
- Don't know, never heard of her.Copy !req
403. Little Red? Processing...Copy !req
404. Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now.
Sweet gal. Not like that Bo Peep.Copy !req
405. Brat put in an invisible fence.
I tasted my own fillings for a week!Copy !req
406. Focus! The girl in the hood.Copy !req
407. You get around the mountain.
Who does she work for?Copy !req
408. How should I know? I ain't that curious.Copy !req
409. Family business. Ain't you
ever heard of Granny Puckett?Copy !req
410. - Puckett?
- Her grandma.Copy !req
411. The Granny Puckett?
You pulling the wool over my eyes?Copy !req
412. Ha-ha. Hilarious. Oome up
with that yourself? That's funny.Copy !req
413. - You're looking pretty tasty.
- Why you gotta be like that?Copy !req
414. All I know is that the old lady
lives up high in the hills.Copy !req
415. - Not a lot of visitors.
- Except the little girl.Copy !req
416. She's been known to take
the cable car up the mountain.Copy !req
417. Oable car?Copy !req
418. Those sheep made me hungry.
After this, we're grabbing a bite.Copy !req
419. Sounds good. Sounds good.Copy !req
420. Baa.Copy !req
421. I don't know what to do.
Should I call her?Copy !req
422. - Am I supposed to play it cool?
- Keeping her options open.Copy !req
423. Seeing other people.
You should do the same.Copy !req
424. Shh. Up there.Copy !req
425. Do you mind?Copy !req
426. Ooh. Sorry.Copy !req
427. Hey, you deliver up this far?Copy !req
428. The Muffin Man... Granny's recipes...Copy !req
429. an evil plan.Copy !req
430. shut down everyone in the forest...Copy !req
431. I knew it.Copy !req
432. She's working for the old lady. Twitchy.Copy !req
433. Aaah!Copy !req
434. Aaah!Copy !req
435. Ooh! Uhh!Copy !req
436. Uhh! Ooh! Ugh!Copy !req
437. Ouch!Copy !req
438. Ohh!Copy !req
439. Ahh!Copy !req
440. Ohh!Copy !req
441. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
442. Hello.Copy !req
443. So you're the little girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
444. That's quite a bit of falling
you did just now.Copy !req
445. Gravity's working.Copy !req
446. What are you doing
in the big, bad forest?Copy !req
447. You taking goodies
to someone in particular?Copy !req
448. Um... Granny.Copy !req
449. You don't have anything else
in that basket?Copy !req
450. - You ask a lot of questions, mister.
- Well, I'm a curious guy.Copy !req
451. - Let me have a look.
- I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
452. I mean, "please." Oome back here!Copy !req
453. - What are you doing?
- Sorry, I was winding.Copy !req
454. Oome on! We're gonna lose her!
Red! Red Riding Hood!Copy !req
455. We'll never catch her.Copy !req
456. Taxi!Copy !req
457. Whoa! That was her.
We passed her. Right here's fine.Copy !req
458. Suspect is approaching on foot,
stolen recipes in basket.Copy !req
459. I'm about to catch her red-handed.Copy !req
460. Hand over the basket!Copy !req
461. - Aaah!
- Hyahh!Copy !req
462. So you really took a beating...Copy !req
463. - ... from a little girl?
- Hey!Copy !req
464. - Hai-yah!
- Ooh!Copy !req
465. Get back here, you little brat!Copy !req
466. One, two, buckle to you
Ready or not, here I comeCopy !req
467. Don't you run awayCopy !req
468. A-B-C, I can read
And the sign up ahead saidCopy !req
469. Son, you're the 1-2-3-4
Knock on the doorCopy !req
470. Open up, gotta run awayCopy !req
471. OK. Not cool. Ahhh!Copy !req
472. You can't hold
onto those recipes forever!Copy !req
473. I'll get you, and your little Granny too!Copy !req
474. Well, that's fishy.Copy !req
475. What? They're evil. I'll prove it!Copy !req
476. - So can we eat?
- Sure. You hungry for failure?Copy !req
477. Maybe a side of unemployment?
'Oause that's what's for lunch.Copy !req
478. - What do we do?
- We go right to the source.Copy !req
479. We gotta get to Granny's before the kid.Copy !req
480. - Is it a surprise?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
481. You're going over to Granny's house
to surprise Red. Is it her birthday,Copy !req
482. or what is it? ls there a shindig?
'Oause I'm great at parties.Copy !req
483. - Watch me pull myself out of a hat!
- Yeah.Copy !req
484. Big surprise party.
You know how to get there?Copy !req
485. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
In fact, I know a shortcut.Copy !req
486. You hear that? He knows a shortcut.Copy !req
487. Over the woods and through the river...Copy !req
488. No, you don't want to go
through the river, you'll get all wet.Copy !req
489. You see, Twitchy, you get lemons,
you make lemonade.Copy !req
490. And then that lemonade goes bitter
and ferments and turns to pig swill.Copy !req
491. Never trust a bunny
with directions, Twitchy.Copy !req
492. Sure thing, boss. Never trust a bunny!Copy !req
493. The bright side is,
at least I finally dried off.Copy !req
494. Ohh!Copy !req
495. Why couldn't I write movie reviews?Copy !req
496. We are in a pickle, and I blame myself.Copy !req
497. That bunny was worthless, not to mention
he wrote directions on an Easter egg,Copy !req
498. - which is hard to read.
- We're gonna die here!Copy !req
499. Hey, now, that's what they said
at The Alamo.Copy !req
500. Wha... what was that? Who's that?Copy !req
501. Aaah!Copy !req
502. Uhh!Copy !req
503. Hey, look where we are. More cave.Copy !req
504. - Hey, whazzi-lookie!
- With God as my witness,Copy !req
505. you will learn to speak. Look! A way out.Copy !req
506. But I was just... Ahh!Copy !req
507. Follow me.Copy !req
508. Hmm...Copy !req
509. - Huh?
- Oome on.Copy !req
510. TrainCopy !req
511. TrainCopy !req
512. Living like a banditCopy !req
513. Now, this is a shortcut.Copy !req
514. Whazzat? Sounds like an avalanche!Copy !req
515. Well, Twitchy, that's natural.Copy !req
516. It's just Old Man Mountain
showing us who's boss.Copy !req
517. Hey, lookie! A box of candles! A big box!Copy !req
518. Box of candles? Light 'em up!Copy !req
519. Wow, that's nice and bright.
What kind of candles are those?Copy !req
520. - Deen-a-meet-tay. Must be ltalian.
- Ah! Lose the candle!Copy !req
521. - But l...
- Ahhh!Copy !req
522. Got it.Copy !req
523. Ahhh!Copy !req
524. Aaahhh!Copy !req
525. - Did you hear something?
- Hm?Copy !req
526. Hm. Oome on, let's get to Granny's.Copy !req
527. Hello! Paper boy.Copy !req
528. Publisher's, uh...Copy !req
529. Oandygram.Copy !req
530. What do we do, boss?Copy !req
531. Ohh!Copy !req
532. Lucky for me, Granny keeps
her merchandise around the cottage.Copy !req
533. Disguise was the only way
to catch this girlCopy !req
534. in the act of smuggling.Copy !req
535. Sweetie-pie! Sugar plum!Copy !req
536. Hug your granny, little pudding pop.Copy !req
537. Aww!Copy !req
538. Boy, that's hot. OK, change of plans.Copy !req
539. You can be Granny.Copy !req
540. She's coming!Copy !req
541. - Wa-dee-dee!
- Ohh!Copy !req
542. Granny! It's me, Red.Copy !req
543. - Is everything OK?
- Yeah, sure thing. Oome on in.Copy !req
544. Pretty thin, Wolf.Copy !req
545. You said the old lady
was already tied up.Copy !req
546. - How did that happen?
- I don't know,Copy !req
547. maybe to make herself look innocent.Copy !req
548. I just write the news, chief,
I don't make it.Copy !req
549. For a reporter, you have
a strange way of doing your job.Copy !req
550. What can I say? I was raised by wolves.Copy !req
551. - Got a way to back this up?
- I got these pictures developed.Copy !req
552. That so? Let's have a look.Copy !req
553. These are good.Copy !req
554. - Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.
- Ugh!Copy !req
555. I wanna do a gallery show.
A coffee table book.Copy !req
556. I don't drink coffee.
A Ohai tea latte book.Copy !req
557. Photos don't lie, chief.Copy !req
558. - Good work, Twitchy.
- Arghh.Copy !req
559. Now, I want to know more
about this fellow with the ax.Copy !req
560. How does he fit into all of this?Copy !req
561. Maybe you should "ax" him yourself.Copy !req
562. You see? "Ax" him? He was saying...Copy !req
563. I'll bring him in.Copy !req
564. Ohh!Copy !req
565. Hmm. Hello.Copy !req
566. My, my. You're a big fellow, aren't you?Copy !req
567. - Shop at the Big and Tall store?
- This is a big and tall mistake.Copy !req
568. I would not hurt a butterfly.Copy !req
569. Then what's this? A letter opener?Copy !req
570. That's a funny accent
you got there, choppy.Copy !req
571. I can do the cowboy accent.
Howdy, partner!Copy !req
572. Indeed you can.Copy !req
573. Say, before you ride off
into the sunset, hopalong,Copy !req
574. you think you could
rustle up information?Copy !req
575. I will do my best.Copy !req
576. How about explaining what
you were doing in the forest?Copy !req
577. Oh! I am working
to make good my call-back!Copy !req
578. Your what-what?Copy !req
579. Paul's Bunion Oream
has a soothing formulaCopy !req
580. to make the bunions head for the hills!Copy !req
581. - This guy's a loon.
- Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.Copy !req
582. Your call-back.
You mean, like, for an audition?Copy !req
583. Yes! For the bunion cream.Copy !req
584. I must find my wood-cutting self
to book the spot.Copy !req
585. - The what?
- The commercial.Copy !req
586. - He's an actor.
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
587. Arghh!Copy !req
588. Paul's Bunion Oream
has the soothing formula...Copy !req
589. No, hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
590. - Stop. "Arghh"?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
591. What are you, some kind
of German pirate or something?Copy !req
592. I just got the script,
like, five minutes ago.Copy !req
593. - You're not getting it.
- I'm trying.Copy !req
594. - My name Kirk.
- Kirk. OK, Kirk.Copy !req
595. What makes you feel proud
and strong and mighty?Copy !req
596. What puts a fire in your belly, Steven?Copy !req
597. - Oh! My dream!
- Yes, yes! Your dream!Copy !req
598. To travel the worldCopy !req
599. with the greatest singing group
of all time...Copy !req
600. the Happy Yodelers!Copy !req
601. To yodel for the peopleCopy !req
602. To hear the applauseCopy !req
603. My dreamCopy !req
604. Sorry.Copy !req
605. Listen. We'll look at your tape
and we'll give you a call, OK?Copy !req
606. Thanks for coming in.
Have a nice life. Next!Copy !req
607. That was my first audition in months.Copy !req
608. Then it was back to my day job.Copy !req
609. I drive a schnitzel truck.Copy !req
610. It's not such a bad job.Copy !req
611. After all, I bring much joy
to the childrenlCopy !req
612. Schnitzel!Copy !req
613. Mommy, Mommy! I want a schnitzel stick!Copy !req
614. Ooh, the schnitzel man!Copy !req
615. Schnitzel, the favorite treat
For little girls and boys to eatCopy !req
616. Schnitzel man can serve them quickCopy !req
617. It's a schnitzel on a stickCopy !req
618. No more spoons Use your handsCopy !req
619. Says the friendly schnitzel manCopy !req
620. Make sure you keep an extra oneCopy !req
621. For later in your lederhosenCopy !req
622. - Schnitzel!
- Ow!Copy !req
623. Schnitz...Copy !req
624. What the schnitzel?Copy !req
625. My schnitzel truck,
it's been piddly... piddle-llaged...Copy !req
626. They stole everything!Copy !req
627. Oh, that's too bad.Copy !req
628. It's not easy being in the
goody business these days, huh?Copy !req
629. I'm getting schnitzeled
left and right today.Copy !req
630. I cannot even sell the bunion cream.Copy !req
631. - Now I'm gonna lose my job!
- Ohin up, mister.Copy !req
632. Maybe someday somebody
will open up a great big goody shopCopy !req
633. and we can all work for that little guy.Copy !req
634. Oh, yeah... What?Copy !req
635. Uhh...Copy !req
636. - Hello?
- Kirk! Yeah, baby, listen.Copy !req
637. We got the client here,
we looked at your tape,Copy !req
638. and we think we might have a real
"Hercules goes bananas" angle on this.Copy !req
639. - So we want you to come back in.
- Oome back in?Copy !req
640. It's a call-back.Copy !req
641. I had always heard about call-backs,Copy !req
642. but I had never gotten onel.Copy !req
643. A call-back?Copy !req
644. Ahh! What do I do?Copy !req
645. You come back tomorrow,
do the same you did today,Copy !req
646. only this time you do it good.
Oan you handle that?Copy !req
647. - I will. I can do it!
- OK.Copy !req
648. Now, I want you to go out into the wildCopy !req
649. and I want you to find that
tree-chopping side of yourself.Copy !req
650. You find your inner woodsman, Ourtis.Copy !req
651. Don't act like a woodsman,
be a woodsman. Got it?Copy !req
652. Yes, I can!Copy !req
653. Find an ax, start swinging, OK?Copy !req
654. I've gotta be in a circle wipe
across town, but I'll see you at 10:00.Copy !req
655. I have to go
and find the little woodsman...Copy !req
656. in me!Copy !req
657. OK. Well, tell him I said hello.Copy !req
658. Ay! Ay-ay-ay-ay!Copy !req
659. Ooh!Copy !req
660. Ha-ha!Copy !req
661. Goodbye!Copy !req
662. Hup, hup!Copy !req
663. Sorry, little birds!Copy !req
664. Run!Copy !req
665. I had done itlCopy !req
666. I had found
the little woodsman inside of mel.Copy !req
667. Yes.Copy !req
668. Paul's... Bunion...Copy !req
669. Oream...Copy !req
670. has the soothing formula...Copy !req
671. to make your bunions...Copy !req
672. head for the hills!Copy !req
673. Right!Copy !req
674. bunion...Copy !req
675. cream...Copy !req
676. has the soothing...Copy !req
677. formula...Copy !req
678. Hello?Copy !req
679. Ohh...Copy !req
680. Oh, schnitzel!Copy !req
681. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
682. Ohh! Ohh!Copy !req
683. Aahhh!Copy !req
684. I'm taking Granny down, and you're next!Copy !req
685. Aahhh!Copy !req
686. So you didn'tjump through
the window, you were pushed?Copy !req
687. - Yes.
- By a tree.Copy !req
688. Yes.Copy !req
689. Because you were pretending
to be a woodsman.Copy !req
690. - That's right!
- To sell foot cream.Copy !req
691. I got the call-back!Copy !req
692. And good for you.Copy !req
693. Well, I think it's safe to say
that our thespian friend hereCopy !req
694. knows the least about anything
of anyone in this room.Copy !req
695. Exactly! What does that mean?Copy !req
696. That it all points to Granny.Copy !req
697. What about it, Granny?Copy !req
698. Maybe you're not the sweet goody-maker
everyone thinks you are.Copy !req
699. Are you stealing recipes
to protect your sugar-coated kingdom?Copy !req
700. Oh, no, Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
701. The only crime I've ever committedCopy !req
702. is making my goodies
unlawfully delicious!Copy !req
703. My granny doesn't keep secrets.Copy !req
704. And even if she did,
she'd tell me about it.Copy !req
705. We tell each other everything.
Right, Granny?Copy !req
706. Sure, dear. Mostly.Copy !req
707. - Mostly?
- What are you hiding, old girl?Copy !req
708. My family worries too much.
I didn't want them to find out.Copy !req
709. - Find out what?
- Yeah. What?Copy !req
710. Hey, chief!Copy !req
711. Oheck this out!Copy !req
712. When did they make that a sport?Copy !req
713. I noticed you have three G's
tattooed on the back of your neck.Copy !req
714. That's appropriate, since there
are three strikes against you.Copy !req
715. It's true.Copy !req
716. I'm not like other grannies.Copy !req
717. I never did like the quilting bees
and the bingo parlors.Copy !req
718. I'd rather live life to the extreme.Copy !req
719. Here come the real GCopy !req
720. She don't need bling-bling
She got a set of wingsCopy !req
721. From all the fame
and the pain that she bringsCopy !req
722. Neck and neck you know she gets respectCopy !req
723. She's like a special effect
with every record she wrecksCopy !req
724. You think you see Aunt B
but you get Mr. TCopy !req
725. Underneath the beehive
is the new Bruce LeeCopy !req
726. I count to three before you see
a ball of four-foot-threeCopy !req
727. With the money for nothing
and her tricks for freeCopy !req
728. Seventy-five, alive
and a hardcore biddyCopy !req
729. Still making half pipe
hand plants look prettyCopy !req
730. In the woodie with the goodies
for the Jacks and JillsCopy !req
731. More power to the granny
with the skillsCopy !req
732. A trip up the mountain
is too dangerous for a little girl.Copy !req
733. I'm not so little anymore.Copy !req
734. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes
there, and everything will be fine.Copy !req
735. - But...
- I have to go now. My program's on.Copy !req
736. Kisses.Copy !req
737. Time to shred some powder!Copy !req
738. I didn't have time
for Red to visit today.Copy !req
739. I was on my way to the big
Xtreme Dream Snowsports Competition.Copy !req
740. I've been training
three months for this one.Copy !req
741. Nothing but solid snow,Copy !req
742. and the top maniacs are here
to teach this mountain a lesson.Copy !req
743. Buck teeth Bark in my clawsCopy !req
744. I'm a tree critterCopy !req
745. Sticks and stones
are my bread and bonesCopy !req
746. I'm a tree critterCopy !req
747. - Triple G, what's up, baby?
- Granny, what's happening?Copy !req
748. What up, my homeys?
You ready to get spanked?Copy !req
749. So, what's the dizzo, grizzo?
You ready to floss that hill, playa?Copy !req
750. - Fo' shizzle!
- Yeah, gimme some love.Copy !req
751. G, you checking the hardcore
European team over there?Copy !req
752. Those guys put the Saber-Tooth Brothers
in the hospital yesterday!Copy !req
753. On the real, it's gonna be
wicked out there!Copy !req
754. You let me worry
about those player-haters.Copy !req
755. Oh, I almost forgot.
I made you kids some snicker-doodles.Copy !req
756. - Yo!
- Tight!Copy !req
757. Yeah, snicker-doodles!
Give it up! Give it up!Copy !req
758. Snickadeedoo!Copy !req
759. You can take the critter
out of the treeCopy !req
760. But you can't take the tree
out of the tree critter's needsCopy !req
761. Now this critter's gotta run
with the birds and the beesCopy !req
762. Well, what's your name?Copy !req
763. Just put, "To my biggest
and cutest fan, Boingo."Copy !req
764. And then, like, put some X's and O's
and a little smiley-face.Copy !req
765. All contestants to the starting linel.Copy !req
766. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
767. Be careful, Granny Puckett.Copy !req
768. Old ladies get hurt on these slopes.Copy !req
769. Bring it, honey.Copy !req
770. Aahhh!Copy !req
771. Yo, Granny!Copy !req
772. I know you did not just
swing your pole at me!Copy !req
773. - You're little! You're small!
- Yeah? Well, take that, yo!Copy !req
774. Whoa-oh-oh-oh!Copy !req
775. - Yeah.
- Watch that skier!Copy !req
776. - Whoa! Look out!
- So it's like that?Copy !req
777. You wanna play now? Get some of this!Copy !req
778. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
779. Whoa! Woo-hoo!Copy !req
780. That must have been right about
when Red called me the second time.Copy !req
781. I always forward my phone
when I leave the house.Copy !req
782. - Granny?
- What's that? Who's there?Copy !req
783. - Take that, from Mr. Big Muscleman!
- Want some of this?Copy !req
784. Ha-ha!Copy !req
785. Gotta go, munchkin! Bonsai!Copy !req
786. - Uhh!
- Uhh!Copy !req
787. Ya!Copy !req
788. Ohh! Aww!Copy !req
789. Oh, you're not so bad!Copy !req
790. - Who do you work for?
- I can't tell you that.Copy !req
791. - Young man, you tell me this instant!
- All right!Copy !req
792. We were hired by the Bandit!Copy !req
793. Who is the Bandit?Copy !req
794. Ha!Copy !req
795. Granny is finished.Copy !req
796. Now we go after
the little red-hooded girl.Copy !req
797. Red!Copy !req
798. Ooh! Ooh! Oohhh!Copy !req
799. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
800. Oh, applesauce.Copy !req
801. Eva Deanna My sister is your mamaCopy !req
802. She fell from heaven
like a loaf of mannaCopy !req
803. Put her in pajamas
and read her a book about animalsCopy !req
804. The way they sound and how they lookCopy !req
805. She likes to stomp aroundCopy !req
806. She buckles on her shoes
to make it loudCopy !req
807. Singing the wheels on the bus
go round and roundCopy !req
808. I hold her ankles up
so she can dangle upside-downCopy !req
809. An avalanche is coming
and I do not feel preparedCopy !req
810. It's just Old Man Mountain
showing us who's boss.Copy !req
811. Woo-ha-ha!Copy !req
812. Ahh!Copy !req
813. You can't rearrange herCopy !req
814. She's no stranger to dangerCopy !req
815. Whoa, oh, oh, oh Whoa, oh, ohCopy !req
816. With golden locks on her headCopy !req
817. I wish I had a video camera! Whoo!Copy !req
818. Rolling on the edgeCopy !req
819. Of the afternoonCopy !req
820. The glow of the sunCopy !req
821. Tells you that your day is not doneCopy !req
822. Pay the clock hand no mindCopy !req
823. I can't rewindCopy !req
824. But time is a friend of mineCopy !req
825. Red!Copy !req
826. Granny?Copy !req
827. Use the hood, Red!Copy !req
828. Use the hood!Copy !req
829. Ah, that's my girl.Copy !req
830. Ba-ba, da-dum-ba-ba-ba-baCopy !req
831. Ba-ba, da-dum-ba-ba-ba-baCopy !req
832. And it's all rightCopy !req
833. I guess it's just one of those days.Copy !req
834. Rollin'in the afternoonCopy !req
835. Whoa... whoa, whoa! Hey! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey! Whoa! Uhh!Copy !req
836. What do we do, boss?Copy !req
837. Sweetie-pie! Sugar plum!Copy !req
838. Boy, that's hot. OK, change of plans.Copy !req
839. You can be Granny.Copy !req
840. She's coming!Copy !req
841. Wee-dee-dee.Copy !req
842. Hi.Copy !req
843. Granny! It's me, Red. Ls everything OK?Copy !req
844. Yeah, sure thing. Oome on in.Copy !req
845. Eventually I was able to use
the squirrel to break down the door.Copy !req
846. Ow! That hurts!Copy !req
847. I'm taking Granny down, and you're next!Copy !req
848. I could've handled that wolf myself.Copy !req
849. But then the craziest thing happened.Copy !req
850. Honey, don't look
at your granny like that.Copy !req
851. I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G.Copy !req
852. Or are you the Bandit?Copy !req
853. Awkward!Copy !req
854. - You're being ridiculous, Red.
- I'm being ridiculous?Copy !req
855. You're off living... la vida loca,Copy !req
856. risking your life for some dumb thrills,Copy !req
857. and I'm supposed to stay home
and be your happy little delivery girl?Copy !req
858. - I have a...
- Ooffee break, anyone?Copy !req
859. - Yeah.
- Who's got my keys?Copy !req
860. You think Granny would mind
if I went through her garbage?Copy !req
861. - Excuse us.
- I thought you were happy.Copy !req
862. Open your eyes.Copy !req
863. I've never even been outside the forest.Copy !req
864. Don't you think I want more than that?Copy !req
865. Of course you do. You're a Puckett.Copy !req
866. I don't know what that means anymore.Copy !req
867. - Hey, look! It's Little Red!
- No, it's just some kid.Copy !req
868. - She's not wearing the red hood.
- There she goes!Copy !req
869. - Excuse me!
- Little girl!Copy !req
870. Everything is changingCopy !req
871. You're looking for the cureCopy !req
872. And you feel like
you're the loneliest girlCopy !req
873. In the worldCopy !req
874. Trouble in your head, nowCopy !req
875. You don't know what to doCopy !req
876. Seems like up is down and redCopy !req
877. ls blueCopy !req
878. Because red is blueCopy !req
879. Doesn't make much senseCopy !req
880. But red is blueCopy !req
881. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohCopy !req
882. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohCopy !req
883. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohCopy !req
884. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohCopy !req
885. How do you remember all these recipes?Copy !req
886. They're all right here in this book.Copy !req
887. Every recipe in here
comes from the Puckett family,Copy !req
888. generation after generation. See?Copy !req
889. Now, there's Sylvia Puckett
at the North Pole.Copy !req
890. She found the best hot chocolate
in the world there.Copy !req
891. And there's Emma Puckett.Copy !req
892. She flew cheesecakes across the Atlantic.Copy !req
893. For as long as critters
have had a sweet tooth,Copy !req
894. Pucketts have been making
and collecting recipesCopy !req
895. all over the world,Copy !req
896. refining them, giving them
that special Puckett touch.Copy !req
897. So you see, Red,
when you put that hood on,Copy !req
898. you carry on a grand tradition.Copy !req
899. It's a big job, making sure
the world stays sweet.Copy !req
900. Huh? What's this?Copy !req
901. Oh, it says, "World's Greatest Grandma."Copy !req
902. Grandma, I can read.Copy !req
903. It says,
"Battle of the Iron Oage Gladiators."Copy !req
904. A-ha! Ahh!Copy !req
905. - Granny?
- Listen, munchkin.Copy !req
906. If there are two things
your Granny doesn't do,Copy !req
907. it's lie and play extreme sports.Copy !req
908. In your heart there's a room
where you lock awayCopy !req
909. All the times
and the things that she saidCopy !req
910. And now red is blueCopy !req
911. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohCopy !req
912. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohCopy !req
913. - Is it a flush that beats a full house?
- No, that's a full house.Copy !req
914. - It's not my turn?
- I know about houses.Copy !req
915. I built mine out of straw.
I'm not an idiot.Copy !req
916. Am I gonna get to put the cuffs
on someone, or what?Copy !req
917. Remember, Ted,Copy !req
918. pieces of a puzzle make funny shapes,
but they still fit together in the end.Copy !req
919. Boy, you're just full of those,
aren't you?Copy !req
920. We are closer to the Bandit
than we've ever been before, chief.Copy !req
921. The clues to find him
are right here in this room.Copy !req
922. In this room?
That's what I've been saying!Copy !req
923. Are you telling me
we're back to square one?Copy !req
924. Hold on, Smokey. Where's the fire?Copy !req
925. Timmy, it's Tommy. You there? Over.Copy !req
926. Am I talking to the wall?Copy !req
927. If you don't have your walkie,
don't talk to me,Copy !req
928. but if you got your walkie, let's talk.Copy !req
929. Put everybody in cuffs.
I'm taking them all in.Copy !req
930. It's what I do,
that's why I'm police chief.Copy !req
931. Timmy, it's Tommy. Pick up.
If you're there, pick up the walkie.Copy !req
932. What are you doing this weekend? Over.Copy !req
933. We've got this place
locked down, all secured.Copy !req
934. It would seem that all of you
came together tonight by mistake.Copy !req
935. Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads
so we could get to the real truth.Copy !req
936. - The Goody Bandit.
- That's right.Copy !req
937. The Bandit's still at large.Copy !req
938. There's been a lot
of finger-pointing tonight,Copy !req
939. but now all fingers point to the Bandit.Copy !req
940. - Not my finger!
- Oh, no,Copy !req
941. you were just out
damaging forest property,Copy !req
942. cutting down the redwoods
we all call home.Copy !req
943. Big guy like you, you could
probably take whatever you wantCopy !req
944. from little goody-loving creatures.Copy !req
945. But someone robbed me!
Have we lost track of that?Copy !req
946. That's right, someone did.Copy !req
947. Maybe a snack food competitor.Copy !req
948. Right, Granny?Copy !req
949. Now, hold on a pea-picking minute!Copy !req
950. I may lead a double life
full of secrets and deception,Copy !req
951. - but that's no reason to be suspicious.
- Huh?Copy !req
952. A woman like you could have a lot
to gain stealing all those recipes.Copy !req
953. And that's how she makes
her goodies so good! Huh?Copy !req
954. Or she could just be another victim...Copy !req
955. - What?
- ... of a hungry wolf!Copy !req
956. The wolf did it. Talk about profiling.Copy !req
957. Why should we trust someone
who wears disguises for a living?Copy !req
958. - Maybe he's not a wolf at all!
- You got me. I'm a poodle.Copy !req
959. - Just haven't been to the barbershop.
- Is this all just a big joke to you?Copy !req
960. - I just followed the girl here.
- You leave my granddaughter alone!Copy !req
961. Yes, now we get to Little Red,Copy !req
962. the girl with the basket on the run.Copy !req
963. - Where is she, anyway?
- I was just...Copy !req
964. The recipes are gone!Copy !req
965. - Are you saying Red is the Bandit?
- Not my Red!Copy !req
966. Oalm down there, Triple G.Copy !req
967. The only thing your
granddaughter is guilty ofCopy !req
968. is flying hummingbirds without a license.Copy !req
969. It would seem there is
another player in this game,Copy !req
970. someone who's hippity-hopped
his way through all of your stories.Copy !req
971. Yes, there's someone else.Copy !req
972. The only one who was with Red
when she fell...Copy !req
973. - Ohh!
- No!Copy !req
974. who knew a shortcut to Granny's...Copy !req
975. Oh, yeah. In fact, I know a shortcut.Copy !req
976. who fraternizes with evil ski teams...Copy !req
977. - What's your name?
- Put, "To my biggest and cutest fan."Copy !req
978. and someone who was thereCopy !req
979. when the schnitzel truck was schnitzeled.Copy !req
980. What the schnitzel?Copy !req
981. Not the bunny!Copy !req
982. - I knew it. Never trust a bunny.
- Never trust a bunny!Copy !req
983. - Uh, chief.
- Yeah?Copy !req
984. No one's seen the bunny or the girl,
and that cable car left the station.Copy !req
985. I think we need an APB out
on something small and fuzzy.Copy !req
986. I think you're right.Copy !req
987. Get your boys to Red's place.
We need to head off that cable car.Copy !req
988. And bring in a police sketch artist.
No, make it a cartoonist.Copy !req
989. We gotta hurry to beat it down.
Bill, get everyone in the cars.Copy !req
990. Tommy, you can bring that evidence
with you. Let's go!Copy !req
991. - You heard the chief, let's move it!
- Not in the same car!Copy !req
992. Keep it moving. There's nothing to see.Copy !req
993. - Who's got my keys?
- Shotgun.Copy !req
994. - Did you get any shots of the bunny?
- The bunny? Why?Copy !req
995. I told you to take pictures
of everything!Copy !req
996. Ohh! We gotta get this to print
before it's all over the forest!Copy !req
997. Something don't sit right
in my bones about this.Copy !req
998. - What's that?
- Maybe it's your bones.Copy !req
999. I smell schnitzel.Copy !req
1000. What have they done
to my schnitzel truck?Copy !req
1001. Why are they going up?Copy !req
1002. There's on old cable car station
at the top of the mountain.Copy !req
1003. We've got to follow them, boys.
Red's up there. I know it!Copy !req
1004. Get down the mountain.
You gotta stop those cops.Copy !req
1005. Run 'em off the road,
dangle a donut, I don't care.Copy !req
1006. - Tell 'em they're going the wrong way.
- Eezie-peezie! Leave it to me!Copy !req
1007. You'll never catch 'em in time.Copy !req
1008. Is that coffee?Copy !req
1009. I can't believe I'm saying this,
but... drink up.Copy !req
1010. We may want...Copy !req
1011. to stand back.Copy !req
1012. Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
1013. Oaffeine! Yeah, baby!Copy !req
1014. - Whoa!
- Go get 'em, boy.Copy !req
1015. What...Copy !req
1016. - ... have I done?
- Now the rest is up to us.Copy !req
1017. Oan I have coffee?Copy !req
1018. I don't like it.
The cops are all over the place.Copy !req
1019. Forget about the cops!Copy !req
1020. We've got everything we need right here.Copy !req
1021. What about the old lady?
If she's alive, she'll be back.Copy !req
1022. You just don't get it, do you,
Dolph? I'm done!Copy !req
1023. I'm done dancing for the man!Copy !req
1024. The Muffin Man and Granny!Copy !req
1025. They can both take a hike!Copy !req
1026. I'm never gonna answer
to anyone ever again!Copy !req
1027. A-ha-ha!Copy !req
1028. Ah, I just love my job!Copy !req
1029. You see how it works, Dolph?Copy !req
1030. You prioritize, you set your goals,
you write a mission statement.Copy !req
1031. You ask yourself,
"Where do I see me in five years?"Copy !req
1032. How about behind bars?Copy !req
1033. Red! Oh, hi, Red! What are you...?Copy !req
1034. - You've spoiled the surprise.
- You're the Bandit.Copy !req
1035. Surprise!Copy !req
1036. I'm walkin' out of here
with those recipes.Copy !req
1037. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1038. You're a bad bunny.Copy !req
1039. Oh, somebody's finally catching up!Copy !req
1040. Did you think I followed you around
on your deliveries because I liked you?Copy !req
1041. Oh, you best be fearing the ear, baby.Copy !req
1042. Ahh!Copy !req
1043. Hai-yahh!Copy !req
1044. Is that all you got?Copy !req
1045. - Ohh!
- Ha! You hit like a girl!Copy !req
1046. Oome on.Copy !req
1047. And ka-blam!Copy !req
1048. Why don't you go home
and cry to your granny?Copy !req
1049. Dolph, tie up the brat.
Lesa, hold the book.Copy !req
1050. Vincent, get the truck. And Keith...Copy !req
1051. Darn it, change your name. Please.Copy !req
1052. That's not scary,
and I'm embarrassed to say it.Copy !req
1053. - Boris. Try that.
- Hmm.Copy !req
1054. Keith. You know?Copy !req
1055. Oh, watch out for Keith.Copy !req
1056. - You're crazy!
- Maybe so.Copy !req
1057. But I'm top of the woods now, baby!Copy !req
1058. When you'reCopy !req
1059. Hopping on down the bunny trailCopy !req
1060. The critters all seem to look downCopy !req
1061. You're fuzzy and small
Your ears are too tallCopy !req
1062. And goodies make the woods go roundCopy !req
1063. Now, I'm not a pig
But you gotta think bigCopy !req
1064. When you're competing
with the girl in the hoodCopy !req
1065. So you won't be a fan of my evil planCopy !req
1066. But I'm gonna be top of the woodsCopy !req
1067. Now the kids will be packed
with my Boingo snacksCopy !req
1068. Oonstruction begins in a dayCopy !req
1069. And all of the bears
will be ruled by the hareCopy !req
1070. As I maniacally plot from my evil lairCopy !req
1071. We've really grown in the past year.
Nabbing all the recipes was phase one.Copy !req
1072. Now phase two is adding
my own special ingredientCopy !req
1073. to every goody.Copy !req
1074. A little something
I like to call "Boingonium."Copy !req
1075. It makes my snacks a little more...
habit-forming.Copy !req
1076. Happy customer!Copy !req
1077. Phase three gets a little messy.Copy !req
1078. I'm gonna need a lot of real estate
down the mountain,Copy !req
1079. so I've gotta blow the competition away.Copy !req
1080. Oh, and that's not a metaphor.Copy !req
1081. We've literally got
to blow them away. OK?Copy !req
1082. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
1083. And now that I have
your granny's secrets,Copy !req
1084. I'm afraid you'll be taking
the dyno-mite express home.Copy !req
1085. You won't be disrespecting
this bunny no moreCopy !req
1086. 'Oause I'm gonna be top of the woods
Oh, yeahCopy !req
1087. I said I'm gonna be top of the woodsCopy !req
1088. Let's bring it on home!Copy !req
1089. I said, I'm gonna beCopy !req
1090. Top of the woodsCopy !req
1091. You've been hoodwinked, baby!Copy !req
1092. Oh, yeahCopy !req
1093. Sweet tea and cookies!
We got to do something!Copy !req
1094. I know.Copy !req
1095. The song was catchy,
but the choreography was terrible.Copy !req
1096. OK, listen.Copy !req
1097. I have an idea, but we need
to get past that ski team.Copy !req
1098. The toughest one is the big fella,
really mean-looking,Copy !req
1099. with a fat head and a thick skull.
Looks like a shaved ape.Copy !req
1100. I mean, he is u-u-u-ugly!Copy !req
1101. Like a big, swollen, overgrown...Copy !req
1102. He's standing right behind me, isn't he?Copy !req
1103. - Mm-hm.
- Ahh!Copy !req
1104. Ah.Copy !req
1105. Ohh! Ohh!Copy !req
1106. Whoa!Copy !req
1107. Whew!Copy !req
1108. - Who taught you how to drive?
- Almost hit a squirrel. That was close.Copy !req
1109. Whee-yahh!Copy !req
1110. What's the big idea?Copy !req
1111. I could've made road pizza
out of you, kid!Copy !req
1112. - What's he saying?
- What is it, boy?Copy !req
1113. Truck. Trouble at the mill!Copy !req
1114. Is the barn on fire?Copy !req
1115. The barn's on fire! The well!
Timmy's stuck in the well!Copy !req
1116. Hold on. He seems to be
speaking words of some kind.Copy !req
1117. Pffsst!Copy !req
1118. You're a delivery girl.
Then could you do me a favor?Copy !req
1119. Oould you take this down the mountain?Copy !req
1120. 'Oause it absolutely, positively
has to be there tonight!Copy !req
1121. I'm sorry. What?
I can't quite... with the...Copy !req
1122. You got something right there
across your mouth!Copy !req
1123. You're an actor, right?
So this is your big part.Copy !req
1124. This is the role of a lifetime.
Make them believe in you.Copy !req
1125. Don't act like an evil henchman,
be an evil henchman. Got it?Copy !req
1126. - Know what you're gonna say, right?
- Right!Copy !req
1127. - Mr. Rabbit?
- Dolph! Where have you been?Copy !req
1128. You nim-witted Eurotrash with the...
What is that, a ski mask?Copy !req
1129. I like that. See, that's scary.
That's good.Copy !req
1130. - Boss...
- What? Say it! Spit it out!Copy !req
1131. - What's going on?
- Boss...Copy !req
1132. Paul's Bunion cream
has the soothing formula...Copy !req
1133. Hi there. What he means to say
is that I'm the building inspector.Copy !req
1134. - Yes.
- I just need to tap the pipesCopy !req
1135. to see if your wiring's up to par.Copy !req
1136. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. You're not...
No. You can't touch anything in here.Copy !req
1137. Let's walk.Copy !req
1138. Let me level with you.
You're an evil genius, right?Copy !req
1139. Well, I don't know
if I'd say genius, you know.Copy !req
1140. I was asked to join Mensa.Copy !req
1141. You got an evil lair in a cave,
that's standard,Copy !req
1142. but see, most masters of evil
that we deal withCopy !req
1143. are up to evil genius code.Copy !req
1144. Are you familiar with the code?Copy !req
1145. You know, I'm more of a
do-it-yourself kind of guy. Yeah.Copy !req
1146. I understand.
Thinking about putting in a laser?Copy !req
1147. I don't know. I don't...
Do you think I should?Copy !req
1148. Well, it's standard equipment
for a cave lair.Copy !req
1149. I'm not saying you're
gonna zap someone today,Copy !req
1150. but you gotta think about the future.
They gotta be calibrated.Copy !req
1151. - You gonna do that yourself?
- Well, l... l...Copy !req
1152. We should take a look at that power grid.Copy !req
1153. OK. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
1154. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1155. I smell hairspray.Copy !req
1156. A-haaa!Copy !req
1157. Oome here, you little bunny!Copy !req
1158. Huh?Copy !req
1159. Ooh!Copy !req
1160. Whoo!Copy !req
1161. Ha-ha!Copy !req
1162. Gotcha!Copy !req
1163. Get over here!Copy !req
1164. Aahhh!Copy !req
1165. Hey, Puckett!Copy !req
1166. Little Red's gonna take a ride!Copy !req
1167. And there ain't...Copy !req
1168. no...Copy !req
1169. brakes!Copy !req
1170. Red!Copy !req
1171. Aah!Copy !req
1172. Whoo!Copy !req
1173. She doesn't trust you anymore, Granny!Copy !req
1174. Out of my way, bunny!Copy !req
1175. Whoo! Ha-ha!Copy !req
1176. Ahh!Copy !req
1177. Uhh!Copy !req
1178. Dolph!Copy !req
1179. Whahh!Copy !req
1180. Wow, that's a... that's a long way.Copy !req
1181. - We could take the truck.
- Let's take the truck.Copy !req
1182. Yeah, cool.Copy !req
1183. They go up, you go down.
Gotta help! APB! Get the bunny!Copy !req
1184. - This squirrel ate the wrong nuts.
- English! What's wrong with you?Copy !req
1185. Wait a minute. I've got an idea.Copy !req
1186. Ah... OK.Copy !req
1187. The criminal cannot be found
at the bottom of the mountain.Copy !req
1188. He resides at the top in a cave fortressCopy !req
1189. where my companions
are trying to detain him.Copy !req
1190. Aww.Copy !req
1191. - That's more like it.
- How do we know he's on the level?Copy !req
1192. He threw himself in front of a car.
That's commitment.Copy !req
1193. No, that's crazy.
We can't get up there in time anyway.Copy !req
1194. Hey, chief! It looks like
they're coming to us!Copy !req
1195. Ahh!Copy !req
1196. Ohh! Ohh!Copy !req
1197. A-ha!Copy !req
1198. - Granny!
- I'm coming, honey!Copy !req
1199. Grab the hood!Copy !req
1200. Aahhh!Copy !req
1201. Hold tight!Copy !req
1202. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1203. End of the line, ladies!Copy !req
1204. - Granny!
- You know what to do.Copy !req
1205. Whoo!Copy !req
1206. Oh, wonderful.Copy !req
1207. No!Copy !req
1208. Watch your head.Copy !req
1209. - Oh!
- Ow!Copy !req
1210. That hurts.Copy !req
1211. Get 'em outta here, boys.Copy !req
1212. - No, no, no, no. Not prison.
- Say Parcheesi!Copy !req
1213. Not prison! Not for a cute
little bunny rabbit!Copy !req
1214. Granny, Little Bit, we got 'em!Copy !req
1215. - Not bad for a little cookie maker.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1216. I guess I must have had
my eyes shut pretty tightCopy !req
1217. not to see how fast you were growing up.Copy !req
1218. You were really something up there.Copy !req
1219. I take after my granny.Copy !req
1220. Hello, everybody! Here, we have the book!Copy !req
1221. - What happened here tonight?
- My granny swooped in and saved me.Copy !req
1222. - And the whole forest!
- It was my Red who saved the day.Copy !req
1223. Well, it was a group effort,
spearheaded by myself, of course.Copy !req
1224. You'll read the story in tomorrow's
column, but I will take a few questions.Copy !req
1225. Mr. Kirkendal will be appearing
in our ad campaign...Copy !req
1226. - I got a call-back!
- No, don't talk.Copy !req
1227. If a tree falls in the forest,
you'll get three stories,Copy !req
1228. yours, mine and the tree's.Copy !req
1229. Well, a bunny gone bad is going away,Copy !req
1230. and you'll wake up tomorrow
with piping hot tea cakes,Copy !req
1231. same as always.Copy !req
1232. Ooh!Copy !req
1233. Those are piping hot.Copy !req
1234. So how about that new delivery system?Copy !req
1235. Well, it beats riding a bike,
that's for sure.Copy !req
1236. I got horns that hold the muffinsCopy !req
1237. And I got horns that hold the piesCopy !req
1238. Hey, did you hear about Kirk?
He finally made it.Copy !req
1239. - Wanna see the show with us?
- I'm allergic to yodeling.Copy !req
1240. - Now, Wolfie...
- I'm front page material now,Copy !req
1241. I'm about to crack a story
about the three pigsCopy !req
1242. running a home improvement scam.
Houses falling.Copy !req
1243. I got the wide-angle lenses
for those piggies.Copy !req
1244. You sure this is the right place?Copy !req
1245. - Ah.
- Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
1246. I see you all got my message.Copy !req
1247. - Glad you could make it.
- What's going on?Copy !req
1248. Well, I was wondering if you would
like to come and work for me.Copy !req
1249. I could use some fresh talent like you.Copy !req
1250. What kind of work are we talking about?Copy !req
1251. You'd be undercover,
on impossible missions...Copy !req
1252. to faraway places.Copy !req
1253. There's a lot of stories out there
that need a happy ending.Copy !req
1254. I'm part of a secret organization
that makes sure that happens.Copy !req
1255. "Happily Ever After Agency"?Copy !req
1256. The woods don't go around by themselves.Copy !req
1257. We fight the bad guys,
swing through the windowsCopy !req
1258. secret-agent-style, right?Copy !req
1259. So, what do you think?Copy !req
1260. Bring it, honey.Copy !req
1261. I always did like happy endings.Copy !req