1. Red Riding Hood,
you probably know the story.Copy !req
2. But there's more to every tale
than meets the eye.Copy !req
3. It's just like they always say,
you can't judge a book by its cover.Copy !req
4. If you want to know the truth,
you've gotta flip through the pages.Copy !req
5. Granny!Copy !req
6. It's me, Red!Copy !req
7. Is everything OK?Copy !req
8. Oh, yeah, sure thing. Come on in.Copy !req
9. What?Copy !req
10. - Who are you?
- I'm your grandma.Copy !req
11. Your face looks really weird, Granny.Copy !req
12. I've been sick. I...Copy !req
13. Your mouth doesn't move when you talk.Copy !req
14. Plastic surgery.
Grandma's had a little work done.Copy !req
15. Now, come on over here.
Let's have a look at you.Copy !req
16. So, what's going on, Grandma?Copy !req
17. This and that, doing a lot of quilting.Copy !req
18. So you got the loot?Copy !req
19. Whoa. What big hands you have.Copy !req
20. Oh, all the better
to scratch my back with.Copy !req
21. - And what big ears you have!
- All the better to hear your...Copy !req
22. ...many criticisms!Copy !req
23. Old people just have big ears, dear.Copy !req
24. And Granny, what big eyes you have!Copy !req
25. Are we just gonna sit around here
and talk about how big I'm getting?Copy !req
26. You came here for a reason. So tell
old Granny what you got in the basket.Copy !req
27. Ah, Granny! What bad breath you have!Copy !req
28. All right!Copy !req
29. You again? What do I have to do,
get a restraining order?Copy !req
30. Settle down, little girl. I'm on to you.Copy !req
31. - Hai-ya!
- Save it, Red Fu.Copy !req
32. You been dodging me all day,
but now you might as well give up.Copy !req
33. You crazy wolf!
What have you done with Granny?Copy !req
34. I'm taking Granny down, and you're next!Copy !req
35. - Granny!
- It's you! But you...Copy !req
36. Chief Grizzly,
are the suspectsCopy !req
37. - connected with the Goody Bandit?
- Yeah, uh...Copy !req
38. No. Don't print that, Maxine.
We don't know anything yet.Copy !req
39. Is the house
made of gingerbread?Copy !req
40. - Don't think so.
- Do bears eat gingerbread?Copy !req
41. That's enough with the questions.
Jerry, come on! Get these people back!Copy !req
42. All right, back it up!
Let the chief do his job!Copy !req
43. Come on, you, with the feathers,
back behind the snake.Copy !req
44. I just want to go home and hibernate.Copy !req
45. - Bill!
- Chief!Copy !req
46. - All right, what do we got?
- It's a domestic disturbance.Copy !req
47. Breaking and entering, wielding an ax
without a license, intent to eat.Copy !req
48. I get it. Any connection
with the recipe robberies?Copy !req
49. You mean the Goody Bandit? Could be.
The house belongs to Granny Puckett.Copy !req
50. - The cookbook lady?
- Yeah, that's the one.Copy !req
51. OK, Paul Bunyan was swinging the ax,
and Wolfie was trying to eat Lil' Bit.Copy !req
52. - All right, get a muzzle on that guy.
- I can explain everything.Copy !req
53. You can explain it to the judge.Copy !req
54. - Shouldn't you be in school?
- Shouldn't I have a lawyer?Copy !req
55. Uh... What are you doing?Copy !req
56. - Hey. We was just...
- I was just smelling it.Copy !req
57. - Don't eat that. That's evidence.
- Right.Copy !req
58. All right, so this looks
pretty open-and-shut.Copy !req
59. Little Miss Rosy Cakes making covert
deliveries to the goody tycoon,Copy !req
60. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both,Copy !req
61. then Crazy Flannel Pants with the ax
here busts in swinging vigilante-style.Copy !req
62. Take 'em downtown, boys.Copy !req
63. It's the woods, chief.
We don't have a downtown.Copy !req
64. You know what I mean.
Just book 'em!Copy !req
65. Not so fast, Grizzly.Copy !req
66. That's the problem with you bears,
always growling up the wrong tree.Copy !req
67. - Hey, Nicky!
- You on the case, Nick?Copy !req
68. No, just stopping by
to have a sarsaparilla.Copy !req
69. Say, Tommy, you lose some weight?Copy !req
70. - Uh, no.
- Didn't think so.Copy !req
71. Nicky Flippers. What are you
doing here? This is my case.Copy !req
72. Well, someone hibernated
on the wrong side of the cave.Copy !req
73. I saw the lights,
thought the circus was in town.Copy !req
74. Now, of course, I see I was right.Copy !req
75. You're too late, Nicky.
I got this case all wrapped up.Copy !req
76. - Is that right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
77. They got us all wrong,
Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
78. Oh, I don't know,
you look pretty dangerous to me.Copy !req
79. - What's your name?
- Red.Copy !req
80. - And why do they call you that?
- Why do they call you "Flippers"?Copy !req
81. Go FlippersCopy !req
82. - Jump! Get on!
- Go FlippersCopy !req
83. Go Flippers
Go FlippersCopy !req
84. Uh, no reason.Copy !req
85. They call me Red
because of this red hood I wear.Copy !req
86. - What about when you're not wearing it?
- I usually wear it.Copy !req
87. Recipes have come up missing
all over the forest.Copy !req
88. Goody shops have been
going out of business for months,Copy !req
89. and the trail ends here.
I got a case to close.Copy !req
90. Slow down, chief. We've got four
suspects, and that means four stories,Copy !req
91. and if you get people talking long
enough, someone will spill the beans.Copy !req
92. - Beans?
- Could I just make a quick phone call?Copy !req
93. I'll tell you what happened.Copy !req
94. What's with the handcuffs on a girl?
Her wrists could slip right out.Copy !req
95. - How about a cage?
- Bring in the cage!Copy !req
96. - I was being sarcastic.
- Sarcasm. Strike the cage.Copy !req
97. All right,
get the cuffs off her.Copy !req
98. So, Red, why don't you explain
how this all began?Copy !req
99. Well, like any other day.Copy !req
100. I was making deliveries
for my Granny's goody shop.Copy !req
101. ♪ Ba ba ba-da-ba-daCopy !req
102. ♪ Ba baCopy !req
103. ♪ Ba ba ba baCopy !req
104. ♪ Ba ba baCopy !req
105. ♪ Here's a story I hopeCopy !req
106. ♪ You'll likeCopy !req
107. ♪ It's the one about the girl
riding on her bikeCopy !req
108. - ♪ I know
- Hi, Red!Copy !req
109. ♪ It's a tired old tale
but it still rings trueCopy !req
110. - Hey, Red.
- ♪ She could never be rudeCopy !req
111. - ♪ Or unkind
- Hey!Copy !req
112. ♪ But a sad song played
at the back of her mindCopy !req
113. ♪ Can someone show me a different dayCopy !req
114. ♪ To take me awayCopy !req
115. ♪ Take me out of the woodsCopy !req
116. ♪ Great big worldCopy !req
117. ♪ You know what I'm wanting for youCopy !req
118. ♪ You know what I'm wanting for youCopy !req
119. ♪ What I'm wanting for youCopy !req
120. ♪ Wanting for youCopy !req
121. Hey, Red!Copy !req
122. Oh! Nice outfit. Always red with you.Copy !req
123. - You must be in autumn.
- Hey, Boingo.Copy !req
124. Aren't you helping the Muffin Man today?Copy !req
125. Oh, he closed up shop.
Someone took all his recipes last night,Copy !req
126. and now I'm out of a job.Copy !req
127. Gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry.
Are you still running the cable car?Copy !req
128. Yeah, yeah, I am.Copy !req
129. But it's nothing like
making goodies all day.Copy !req
130. Would a carrot crumpet
make you feel better?Copy !req
131. Oh, boy, oh, boy! Thanks, Red.
I can always count on you to deliver,Copy !req
132. you little rascally devil.Copy !req
133. Yeah, well, the woods
don't go around by themselves.Copy !req
134. Shut it down.Copy !req
135. - Come on, let's go.
- Where are we going now, Mama?Copy !req
136. With the Goody Bandit
on the loose,Copy !req
137. recipes were becoming
an endangered species.Copy !req
138. I decided to call Granny.Copy !req
139. If anyone would know what to do,
she would.Copy !req
140. I don't know what to do.
I'm just a tired old lady.Copy !req
141. Your recipes are the most famous
in the whole forest, Granny.Copy !req
142. What if they get swiped?
It could wipe you out.Copy !req
143. Maybe I should bring you
the recipe book, for safekeeping.Copy !req
144. A trip up the mountain
is too dangerous for a little girl.Copy !req
145. I'm not so little anymore.Copy !req
146. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes
there, and everything will be fine.Copy !req
147. - But...
- I have to go now. My program's on.Copy !req
148. Kisses.Copy !req
149. What you reading, Red?Copy !req
150. "Far Away Places"?Copy !req
151. - Are you going somewhere far away?
- No. The world is too dangerous.Copy !req
152. Can't see! Danger! Turn into the skid!Copy !req
153. I'm OK. I'll walk it off.Copy !req
154. You can't go away.
Who's gonna ride the Goody Bike?Copy !req
155. If I had wings like you,
I'd fly all the way past that mountain,Copy !req
156. and the next one and the next one...Copy !req
157. But I can't. I'm just a kid.Copy !req
158. I'm just a woodpecker.Copy !req
159. Uh-oh.Copy !req
160. "You're next"?Copy !req
161. What... what does it mean,
"you're next"?Copy !req
162. Ruined.Copy !req
163. It means someone wants our recipes.Copy !req
164. Are they gonna get your recipes?Copy !req
165. Not today.Copy !req
166. So you deliberately
took your Granny's recipesCopy !req
167. from the family vault,
without permission.Copy !req
168. - Help yourself.
- And then,Copy !req
169. you set out on a dangerous journey
up the mountain...Copy !req
170. ...alone?
- Yeah. I guess I did.Copy !req
171. ♪ Critters have feelingsCopy !req
172. ♪ Well, critters have feelingsCopy !req
173. ♪ Critters have feelingsCopy !req
174. ♪ Well, critters have feelings tooCopy !req
175. ♪ Critters have feelings
Critters have feelingsCopy !req
176. I guess running the cable car's
not so bad, you know.Copy !req
177. It's a great way to see the forest
without worrying about all those big,Copy !req
178. mean, hairy beasts out there.Copy !req
179. - Beasts?
- Oh, yeah, you know, beasts.Copy !req
180. The wolves and the bobcats
and the mountain lionsCopy !req
181. and the saber-tooth tigers!
But mostly wolves.Copy !req
182. Mostly wolves.Copy !req
183. The forest can be a dangerous place for
a little guy like me, with my cute...Copy !req
184. Look at me, I'm fuzzy...
You deliver up this far?Copy !req
185. Well, not usually.Copy !req
186. But I was thinking
about what you told me earlier.Copy !req
187. About the Muffin Man?Copy !req
188. I need to protect Granny's recipes
from that Bandit's evil plan.Copy !req
189. They're gonna shut down everyone
in the forest if we're not careful.Copy !req
190. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
191. Hello.Copy !req
192. So you're the little girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
193. That was quite a bit of falling
you did just now.Copy !req
194. - You saw that.
- Yeah, gravity's working.Copy !req
195. Those old cable cars on the...
You should write a letter.Copy !req
196. Wow! Something smells good.
Those, uh... goodies in there?Copy !req
197. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.Copy !req
198. No, you shouldn't. Good call.Copy !req
199. What are you doing
in the big, bad forest?Copy !req
200. You taking the goodies
to someone in particular?Copy !req
201. - Um... my granny.
- Granny?Copy !req
202. Granny Puckett? The goody lady?Copy !req
203. My goodness,
she makes some good... goodies.Copy !req
204. She's got a thing, it's like a...
It's like a... cookies.Copy !req
205. Shortbread,
chocolate icing between, very...Copy !req
206. It's good. Ah, it's very good.Copy !req
207. You make deliveries
to your granny often?Copy !req
208. I don't think I should tell you that.Copy !req
209. Oh, you don't have
anything else in that?Copy !req
210. You ask a lot of questions, mister.Copy !req
211. Well, I'm a curious guy.
Let me have a look.Copy !req
212. I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
213. Red! Red Riding Hood!Copy !req
214. Hand over the basket.Copy !req
215. Red!Copy !req
216. You can't hold
onto those recipes forever!Copy !req
217. I'll get you,
and your little Granny too!Copy !req
218. Well, that settles it.Copy !req
219. - We got our Bandit.
- Could be.Copy !req
220. I'd like to count my chickens
after they hatch.Copy !req
221. Chickens?Copy !req
222. You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping
kids in the middle of the forest...Copy !req
223. - That's pretty creepy.
- Right. Yes, yes.Copy !req
224. But we don't arrest people
for being creepy.Copy !req
225. Yeah, Bruce. You know that guy
we got in the tank?Copy !req
226. - The creepy one?
- Yeah. Better let him go.Copy !req
227. So you went on to Granny's?Copy !req
228. I found an old trail
up the north side of the mountain.Copy !req
229. Hello!Copy !req
230. Hello.Copy !req
231. I'm looking for Granny Puckett's house.Copy !req
232. ♪ Granny PuckettCopy !req
233. - Could you stop singing for one moment?
- ♪ No, I can't, I wish I couldCopy !req
234. ♪ But a mountain witch done
put a spell on me 37 years agoCopy !req
235. ♪ And now I gotta sing
everything I sayCopy !req
236. - Everything?
- That's right.Copy !req
237. You just talked! Just now!Copy !req
238. Did I?Copy !req
239. ♪ Did I?Copy !req
240. ♪ Did I, did I, did I
doo-dah, doo-dah did-i-dooCopy !req
241. - Granny?
- What's that? Who's there?Copy !req
242. It's Red. I'm on my way
to come see...Copy !req
243. Oh, my dearie, I'm not prepared.Copy !req
244. I need to put down fresh doilies!Copy !req
245. - Granny! Granny, what's wrong?
- Gotta go, munchkin.Copy !req
246. Bonsai!Copy !req
247. Oh, no.Copy !req
248. Mr. Goat, my granny's in trouble.Copy !req
249. I've gotta find a way
around the mountain, fast.Copy !req
250. ♪ Well, you came to the right goatCopy !req
251. Oh, good. More singing.Copy !req
252. ♪ Thirty-seven years ago
a witch done put a spell on meCopy !req
253. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
254. ♪ A spell where when I'm talking
I'm singing it with gleeCopy !req
255. ♪ But when you're always singing
you've got to live aloneCopy !req
256. ♪ That's why I made
this mountain shack my homeCopy !req
257. That's great...Copy !req
258. ♪ When you're on the mountain
there's lots to be a-fearedCopy !req
259. ♪ That's why this here
old mountain goat's preparedCopy !req
260. ♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, doCopy !req
261. These tunnels, I need one
that leads to Puckett Grove.Copy !req
262. ♪ But I got horns that open bottles
and I got horns that hold my keysCopy !req
263. ♪ I got horns that
when you turn 'em rightCopy !req
264. ♪ They help me watch TVCopy !req
265. ♪ I got horns that open pickle jars
and horns that come with hairCopy !req
266. ♪ I got horns that hang my other hornsCopy !req
267. ♪ I always come preparedCopy !req
268. - Can you help me find...?
- ♪ To be prepared, to be preparedCopy !req
269. ♪ This lesson must be shared
This lesson must be sharedCopy !req
270. ♪ To be preparedCopy !req
271. ♪ To be prepared, to be preparedCopy !req
272. ♪ And unless you've got a spareCopy !req
273. ♪ You've got one life
so handle it with careCopy !req
274. - Aaah!
- Yipee!Copy !req
275. Keep your hands and feet
inside of the vehicle at all times!Copy !req
276. ♪ An avalanche is coming
and I do not feel preparedCopy !req
277. ♪ It's rumbling like a mountain lion
I must say that I'm scaredCopy !req
278. ♪ And if not for the witch's spell
you'd hear just how I screamCopy !req
279. ♪ But since I'm only singing
I'll just yodel till we're creamedCopy !req
280. Red!Copy !req
281. Granny?Copy !req
282. Use the hood, Red!Copy !req
283. Use the hood!Copy !req
284. What?Copy !req
285. ♪ I was prepared!Copy !req
286. Granny! It's me, Red. Is everything OK?Copy !req
287. Oh, yeah, sure thing.Copy !req
288. So this wolf, he was dressed
as your grandmother?Copy !req
289. - Yes.
- I'm your grandma.Copy !req
290. - And you bought that?
- No, not really.Copy !req
291. Whoa. What big hands you have.Copy !req
292. And what big ears you have.Copy !req
293. What bad breath you have!
What big eyes you have.Copy !req
294. Are we just gonna sit around here
and talk about how big I'm getting?Copy !req
295. Then the fellow with the ax burst in?Copy !req
296. No, no, not yet.Copy !req
297. First I was attacked
by that crazy wolf!Copy !req
298. Hai-ya! You crazy wolf!Copy !req
299. My granny jumped
out of a closet.Copy !req
300. - Aaah!
- But she was tied up...Copy !req
301. And then the axman cometh?Copy !req
302. You got it.Copy !req
303. Only he was screaming.Copy !req
304. Like a maniac.Copy !req
305. - So that was it?
- That wolf was gonna eat us all.Copy !req
306. The guy's pawprints
are all over the room. Book him!Copy !req
307. Hold the phone, fuzzy-wuzzy.
Let's hear it from the wolf's mouth.Copy !req
308. - Don't I get a drink?
- No!Copy !req
309. So, Mr. Wolf, may I call you "Wolf"?Copy !req
310. You can call me Sheila.
I like long walks and fresh flowers.Copy !req
311. Quit playing around, Wolf!Copy !req
312. You're looking at three-to-five
in an old shoe with no windows!Copy !req
313. So start singing!Copy !req
314. - Your face looks familiar.
- I get around the forest.Copy !req
315. What do you for a living, Mr. Wolf?Copy !req
316. I'm a shepherd. Hey!Copy !req
317. You might as well confess.
I told them everything!Copy !req
318. Could you keep her
away from me, please?Copy !req
319. I remember you.Copy !req
320. Three years ago on the Stiltskin case.Copy !req
321. You were snooping around
for a lead on his real name.Copy !req
322. I was close too.Copy !req
323. I was gonna go with "Greg."
Greg Stiltskin.Copy !req
324. Wait a minute, Flippers!
You saying this guy's a cop?Copy !req
325. Worse. He's a reporter.Copy !req
326. - A what?
- And I've got the real story.Copy !req
327. I'm an investigativejournalist.Copy !req
328. You've probably read my column
Facts and Fairy Tales.Copy !req
329. I spent the last six months undercoverCopy !req
330. investigating
the so-called "Goody Bandit. "Copy !req
331. As more recipes go missing,
the trail has gotten hotter.Copy !req
332. And I'm talking hot coffee, hot coffee,Copy !req
333. all over my neck. Very, very painful.Copy !req
334. People think a health board examiner
doesn't lead a dangerous life,Copy !req
335. but I will tell you, my furry friend,
food is dangerous.Copy !req
336. That's why Kenny told me
to come and take a look.Copy !req
337. - Who?
- Your boss, Kenny.Copy !req
338. - You mean Earl?
- That's what Earl said.Copy !req
339. He said, uh, "Kenny, come down here,"
and so, here I am.Copy !req
340. I'm surprised your dessert counter
hasn't been hit,Copy !req
341. with all the thievery going around.Copy !req
342. - What did you say your name was?
- Shaw. Rick Shaw. I'm in from Japan.Copy !req
343. Well, Kenny, I'm gonna
give you a clean bill of health.Copy !req
344. But I'm gonna need the names
of all your suppliers.Copy !req
345. You'll have to talk to Earl.Copy !req
346. Well, that's Earl right now.
Probably called the FDA.Copy !req
347. You keep that thing groomed.
And watch out for hot coffee. Painful.Copy !req
348. No desserts. Waste of time.Copy !req
349. The little delivery girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
350. Always on the go.Copy !req
351. More goodies pass through her hands
than anyone's in the whole forest.Copy !req
352. She seemed happy...Copy !req
353. ...a little too happy, perhaps.Copy !req
354. Oh! Creepy.Copy !req
355. I was starting to have my suspicions.Copy !req
356. Question:
Who does she move the goodies for?Copy !req
357. Where do they come from?
Where are they going?Copy !req
358. And why the hood?Copy !req
359. - Twitchy, you scared me.
- Hey, boss, I beeped you. Get my beep?Copy !req
360. - Calm down.
- I got up early. Got the gear.Copy !req
361. I was watching the girl
like you told me to.Copy !req
362. - Yeah. Did you see where she went?
- Past porcupines and the bird's tree,Copy !req
363. guy with the beard, now she's
up the creek! She sings everywhere!Copy !req
364. I'm way ahead of you.
We gotta find out who she's working for.Copy !req
365. - You got the camera?
- The 220x and photograb with autofocus!Copy !req
366. - Color or black and white?
- Doesn't matter.Copy !req
367. - I brought a flash!
- Put that away!Copy !req
368. - It's covert. No flash.
- Undercover, got it.Copy !req
369. Nobody sees, nobody knows.
Click-click. Hee-hee.Copy !req
370. You ever thought
about decaffeinated coffee?Copy !req
371. I don't drink coffee!Copy !req
372. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon.Copy !req
373. I decided to get the word on the
street from one of my top informants.Copy !req
374. - How's it going, Woolworth?
- Man, what are you doing here?Copy !req
375. The shepherd comes by and sees me
talking to you, I'm gonna get the crook.Copy !req
376. Yeah? There's a bigger crook
on the loose that I'm concerned about.Copy !req
377. - What ya hear about the Goody Bandit?
- What do I know?Copy !req
378. Hiya, Twitchy.Copy !req
379. - The little girl in the red hood.
- Don't know, never heard of her.Copy !req
380. Little Red? Processing...Copy !req
381. Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now.
Sweet gal. Not like that Bo Peep.Copy !req
382. Brat put in an invisible fence.
I tasted my own fillings for a week!Copy !req
383. Focus! The girl in the hood.Copy !req
384. You get around the mountain.
Who does she work for?Copy !req
385. How should I know?
I ain't that curious.Copy !req
386. Family business. Ain't you
ever heard of Granny Puckett?Copy !req
387. - Puckett?
- Her grandma.Copy !req
388. The Granny Puckett?
You pulling the wool over my eyes?Copy !req
389. Ha-ha. Hilarious. Come up
with that yourself? That's funny.Copy !req
390. - You're looking pretty tasty.
- Why you gotta be like that?Copy !req
391. All I know is that the old lady
lives up high in the hills.Copy !req
392. - Not a lot of visitors.
- Except the little girl.Copy !req
393. She's been known to take
the cable car up the mountain.Copy !req
394. Cable car?Copy !req
395. Those sheep made me hungry.
After this, we're grabbing a bite.Copy !req
396. Sounds good. Sounds good.Copy !req
397. Baa.Copy !req
398. I don't know what to do.
Should I call her?Copy !req
399. - Am I supposed to play it cool?
- Keeping her options open.Copy !req
400. Seeing other people.
You should do the same.Copy !req
401. Shh. Up there.Copy !req
402. Do you mind?Copy !req
403. Ooh. Sorry.Copy !req
404. Hey, you deliver up this far?Copy !req
405. The Muffin Man...
Granny's recipes...Copy !req
406. ...an evil plan.Copy !req
407. ...shut down everyone in the forest...Copy !req
408. I knew it.Copy !req
409. She's working for the old lady. Twitchy.Copy !req
410. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
411. Hello.Copy !req
412. So you're the little girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
413. That's quite a bit of falling
you did just now.Copy !req
414. Gravity's working.Copy !req
415. What are you doing
in the big, bad forest?Copy !req
416. You taking goodies
to someone in particular?Copy !req
417. Um... Granny.Copy !req
418. You don't have anything else
in that basket?Copy !req
419. - You ask a lot of questions, mister.
- Well, I'm a curious guy.Copy !req
420. - Let me have a look.
- I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
421. I mean, "please. " Come back here!Copy !req
422. - What are you doing?
- Sorry, I was winding.Copy !req
423. Come on! We're gonna lose her!
Red! Red Riding Hood!Copy !req
424. We'll never catch her.Copy !req
425. Taxi!Copy !req
426. Whoa! That was her.
We passed her. Right here's fine.Copy !req
427. Suspect is approaching on foot,
stolen recipes in basket.Copy !req
428. I'm about to catch her red-handed.Copy !req
429. Hand over the basket!Copy !req
430. So you really took a beating...Copy !req
431. ...from a little girl?
- Hey!Copy !req
432. Get back here, you little brat!Copy !req
433. ♪ One, two, buckle to you
Ready or not, here I comeCopy !req
434. ♪ Don't you run awayCopy !req
435. ♪ A-B-C, I can read
And the sign up ahead saidCopy !req
436. ♪ Son, you're the 1-2-3-4
Knock on the doorCopy !req
437. ♪ Open up, gotta run away ♪♪Copy !req
438. OK. Not cool.Copy !req
439. You can't hold
onto those recipes forever!Copy !req
440. I'll get you,
and your little Granny too!Copy !req
441. Well, that's fishy.Copy !req
442. What? They're evil. I'll prove it!Copy !req
443. - So can we eat?
- Sure. You hungry for failure?Copy !req
444. Maybe a side of unemployment?
'Cause that's what's for lunch.Copy !req
445. - What do we do?
- We go right to the source.Copy !req
446. We gotta get to Granny's before the kid.Copy !req
447. - Is it a surprise?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
448. You're going over to Granny's house
to surprise Red. Is it her birthday,Copy !req
449. or what is it? Is there a shindig?
'Cause I'm great at parties.Copy !req
450. - Watch me pull myself out of a hat!
- Yeah.Copy !req
451. Big surprise party.
You know how to get there?Copy !req
452. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
In fact, I know a shortcut.Copy !req
453. You hear that? He knows a shortcut.Copy !req
454. Over the woods and through the river...Copy !req
455. No, you don't want to go
through the river, you'll get all wet.Copy !req
456. You see, Twitchy, you get lemons,
you make lemonade.Copy !req
457. And then that lemonade goes bitter
and ferments and turns to pig swill.Copy !req
458. Never trust a bunny
with directions, Twitchy.Copy !req
459. Sure thing, boss. Never trust a bunny!Copy !req
460. The bright side is,
at least I finally dried off.Copy !req
461. Why couldn't I write movie reviews?Copy !req
462. We are in a pickle, and I blame myself.Copy !req
463. That bunny was worthless, not to mention
he wrote directions on an Easter egg,Copy !req
464. - which is hard to read.
- We're gonna die here!Copy !req
465. Hey, now, that's what they said
at The Alamo.Copy !req
466. Wha... what was that? Who's that?Copy !req
467. Hey, look where we are. More cave.Copy !req
468. - Hey, whazzi-lookie!
- With God as my witness,Copy !req
469. you will learn to speak.
Look! A way out.Copy !req
470. But I was just...Copy !req
471. Follow me.Copy !req
472. - Huh?
- Come on.Copy !req
473. ♪ TrainCopy !req
474. ♪ TrainCopy !req
475. ♪ Living like a bandit ♪Copy !req
476. Now, this is a shortcut.Copy !req
477. Whazzat? Sounds like an avalanche!Copy !req
478. Well, Twitchy, that's natural.Copy !req
479. It's just Old Man Mountain
showing us who's boss.Copy !req
480. Hey, lookie!
A box of candles! A big box!Copy !req
481. Box of candles? Light 'em up!Copy !req
482. Wow, that's nice and bright.
What kind of candles are those?Copy !req
483. - Deen-a-meet-tay. Must be Italian.
- Ah! Lose the candle!Copy !req
484. But I...Copy !req
485. Got it.Copy !req
486. Did you hear something?Copy !req
487. Hm. Come on, let's get to Granny's.Copy !req
488. Hello! Paper boy.Copy !req
489. Publisher's, uh...Copy !req
490. Candygram.Copy !req
491. What do we do, boss?Copy !req
492. Lucky for me, Granny keeps
her merchandise around the cottage.Copy !req
493. Disguise was the only way
to catch this girlCopy !req
494. in the act of smuggling.Copy !req
495. Sweetie-pie! Sugar plum!Copy !req
496. Hug your granny, little pudding pop.Copy !req
497. Boy, that's hot. OK, change of plans.Copy !req
498. You can be Granny.Copy !req
499. She's coming!Copy !req
500. Wa-dee-dee!Copy !req
501. Granny! It's me, Red.Copy !req
502. - Is everything OK?
- Yeah, sure thing. Come on in.Copy !req
503. Pretty thin, Wolf.Copy !req
504. You said the old lady
was already tied up.Copy !req
505. - How did that happen?
- I don't know,Copy !req
506. maybe to make herself look innocent.Copy !req
507. I just write the news, chief,
I don't make it.Copy !req
508. For a reporter, you have
a strange way of doing your job.Copy !req
509. What can I say?
I was raised by wolves.Copy !req
510. - Got a way to back this up?
- I got these pictures developed.Copy !req
511. That so? Let's have a look.Copy !req
512. These are good.Copy !req
513. Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.Copy !req
514. I wanna do a gallery show.
A coffee table book.Copy !req
515. I don't drink coffee.
A Chai tea latte book.Copy !req
516. Photos don't lie, chief.Copy !req
517. Good work, Twitchy.Copy !req
518. Now, I want to know more
about this fellow with the ax.Copy !req
519. How does he fit into all of this?Copy !req
520. Maybe you should
"ax" him yourself.Copy !req
521. You see? "Ax" him? He was saying...Copy !req
522. I'll bring him in.Copy !req
523. Hmm. Hello.Copy !req
524. My, my. You're a big fellow, aren't you?Copy !req
525. - Shop at the Big and Tall store?
- This is a big and tall mistake.Copy !req
526. I would not hurt a butterfly.Copy !req
527. Then what's this? A letter opener?Copy !req
528. That's a funny accent
you got there, choppy.Copy !req
529. I can do the cowboy accent.
Howdy, partner!Copy !req
530. Indeed you can.Copy !req
531. Say, before you ride off
into the sunset, hopalong,Copy !req
532. you think you could
rustle up information?Copy !req
533. I will do my best.Copy !req
534. How about explaining what
you were doing in the forest?Copy !req
535. Oh! I am working
to make good my call-back!Copy !req
536. Your what-what?Copy !req
537. Paul's Bunion Cream
has a soothing formulaCopy !req
538. to make the bunions
head for the hills!Copy !req
539. - This guy's a loon.
- Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.Copy !req
540. Your call-back.
You mean, like, for an audition?Copy !req
541. Yes! For the bunion cream.Copy !req
542. I must find my wood-cutting self
to book the spot.Copy !req
543. - The what?
- The commercial.Copy !req
544. - He's an actor.
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
545. Paul's Bunion Cream
has the soothing formula...Copy !req
546. No, hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
547. Stop. "Arghh"?Copy !req
548. What are you, some kind
of German pirate or something?Copy !req
549. I just got the script,
like, five minutes ago.Copy !req
550. - You're not getting it.
- I'm trying.Copy !req
551. - My name Kirk.
- Kirk. OK, Kirk.Copy !req
552. What makes you feel proud
and strong and mighty?Copy !req
553. What puts a fire
in your belly, Steven?Copy !req
554. - Oh! My dream!
- Yes, yes! Your dream!Copy !req
555. To travel the worldCopy !req
556. with the greatest singing group
of all time...Copy !req
557. ...the Happy Yodelers!Copy !req
558. ♪ To yodel for the peopleCopy !req
559. ♪ To hear the applauseCopy !req
560. ♪ My dream ♪Copy !req
561. Sorry.Copy !req
562. Listen. We'll look at your tape
and we'll give you a call, OK?Copy !req
563. Thanks for coming in.
Have a nice life. Next!Copy !req
564. That was
my first audition in months.Copy !req
565. Then it was back to my day job.Copy !req
566. I drive a schnitzel truck.Copy !req
567. It's not such a bad job.Copy !req
568. After all, I bring much joy
to the childrenlCopy !req
569. ♪ Schnitzel!Copy !req
570. Mommy, Mommy!
I want a schnitzel stick!Copy !req
571. Ooh, the schnitzel man!Copy !req
572. ♪ Schnitzel, the favorite treat
For little girls and boys to eatCopy !req
573. ♪ Schnitzel man can serve them quickCopy !req
574. ♪ It's a schnitzel on a stickCopy !req
575. ♪ No more spoons
Use your handsCopy !req
576. ♪ Says
the friendly schnitzel manCopy !req
577. ♪ Make sure you keep an extra oneCopy !req
578. ♪ For later in your lederhosenCopy !req
579. Schnitzel!Copy !req
580. ♪ Schnitz...Copy !req
581. What the schnitzel?Copy !req
582. My schnitzel truck,
it's been piddly... piddle-llaged...Copy !req
583. They stole everything!Copy !req
584. Oh, that's too bad.Copy !req
585. It's not easy being in the
goody business these days, huh?Copy !req
586. I'm getting schnitzeled
left and right today.Copy !req
587. I cannot even sell the bunion cream.Copy !req
588. - Now I'm gonna lose my job!
- Chin up, mister.Copy !req
589. Maybe someday somebody
will open up a great big goody shopCopy !req
590. and we can all work
for that little guy.Copy !req
591. Oh, yeah... What?Copy !req
592. - Hello?
- Kirk! Yeah, baby, listen.Copy !req
593. We got the client here,
we looked at your tape,Copy !req
594. and we think we might have a real
"Hercules goes bananas" angle on this.Copy !req
595. - So we want you to come back in.
- Come back in?Copy !req
596. It's a call-back.Copy !req
597. I had always heard
about call-backs,Copy !req
598. but I had never gotten onelCopy !req
599. A call-back?Copy !req
600. Ahh! What do I do?Copy !req
601. You come back tomorrow,
do the same you did today,Copy !req
602. only this time you do it good.
Can you handle that?Copy !req
603. - I will. I can do it!
- OK.Copy !req
604. Now, I want you
to go out into the wildCopy !req
605. and I want you to find that
tree-chopping side of yourself.Copy !req
606. You find your inner woodsman, Curtis.Copy !req
607. Don't act like a woodsman,
be a woodsman. Got it?Copy !req
608. Yes, I can!Copy !req
609. Find an ax, start swinging, OK?Copy !req
610. I've gotta be in a circle wipe
across town, but I'll see you at 10:00.Copy !req
611. I have to go
and find the little woodsman...Copy !req
612. ...in me!Copy !req
613. OK. Well, tell him I said hello.Copy !req
614. Goodbye!Copy !req
615. Hup, hup!Copy !req
616. Sorry, little birds!Copy !req
617. Run!Copy !req
618. I had done itlCopy !req
619. I had found
the little woodsman inside of melCopy !req
620. Yes.Copy !req
621. Paul's... Bunion...Copy !req
622. ...Cream...Copy !req
623. ...has the soothing formula...Copy !req
624. ...to make your bunions...Copy !req
625. ...head for the hills!Copy !req
626. Right!Copy !req
627. ...bunion...Copy !req
628. ...cream...Copy !req
629. ...has the soothing...Copy !req
630. ...formula...Copy !req
631. Hello?Copy !req
632. Oh, schnitzel!Copy !req
633. I'm taking Granny down,
and you're next!Copy !req
634. So you didn't jump through
the window, you were pushed?Copy !req
635. - Yes.
- By a tree.Copy !req
636. Yes.Copy !req
637. Because you were pretending
to be a woodsman.Copy !req
638. - That's right!
- To sell foot cream.Copy !req
639. I got the call-back!Copy !req
640. And good for you.Copy !req
641. Well, I think it's safe to say
that our thespian friend hereCopy !req
642. knows the least about anything
of anyone in this room.Copy !req
643. Exactly! What does that mean?Copy !req
644. That it all points to Granny.Copy !req
645. What about it, Granny?Copy !req
646. Maybe you're not the sweet goody-maker
everyone thinks you are.Copy !req
647. Are you stealing recipes
to protect your sugar-coated kingdom?Copy !req
648. Oh, no, Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
649. The only crime I've ever committedCopy !req
650. is making my goodies
unlawfully delicious!Copy !req
651. My granny doesn't keep secrets.Copy !req
652. And even if she did,
she'd tell me about it.Copy !req
653. We tell each other everything.
Right, Granny?Copy !req
654. Sure, dear. Mostly.Copy !req
655. - Mostly?
- What are you hiding, old girl?Copy !req
656. My family worries too much.
I didn't want them to find out.Copy !req
657. - Find out what?
- Yeah. What?Copy !req
658. Hey, chief!Copy !req
659. Check this out!Copy !req
660. When did they make that a sport?Copy !req
661. I noticed you have three G's
tattooed on the back of your neck.Copy !req
662. That's appropriate, since there
are three strikes against you.Copy !req
663. It's true.Copy !req
664. I'm not like other grannies.Copy !req
665. I never did like the quilting bees
and the bingo parlors.Copy !req
666. I'd rather live life to the extreme.Copy !req
667. ♪ Here come the real GCopy !req
668. ♪ She don't need bling-bling
She got a set of wingsCopy !req
669. ♪ From all the fame
and the pain that she bringsCopy !req
670. ♪ Neck and neck
you know she gets respectCopy !req
671. ♪ She's like a special effect
with every record she wrecksCopy !req
672. ♪ You think you see Aunt B
but you get Mr. TCopy !req
673. ♪ Underneath the beehive
is the new Bruce LeeCopy !req
674. ♪ I count to three before you see
a ball of four-foot-threeCopy !req
675. ♪ With the money for nothing
and her tricks for freeCopy !req
676. ♪ Seventy-five, alive
and a hardcore biddyCopy !req
677. ♪ Still making half pipe
hand plants look prettyCopy !req
678. ♪ In the woodie with the goodies
for the Jacks and JillsCopy !req
679. ♪ More power to the granny
with the skills ♪Copy !req
680. A trip up the mountain
is too dangerous for a little girl.Copy !req
681. I'm not so little anymore.Copy !req
682. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes
there, and everything will be fine.Copy !req
683. - But...
- I have to go now. My program's on.Copy !req
684. Kisses.Copy !req
685. Time to shred some powder!Copy !req
686. I didn't have time
for Red to visit today.Copy !req
687. I was on my way to the big
Xtreme Dream Snowsports Competition.Copy !req
688. I've been training
three months for this one.Copy !req
689. Nothing but solid snow,Copy !req
690. and the top maniacs are here
to teach this mountain a lesson.Copy !req
691. ♪ Buck teeth
Bark in my clawsCopy !req
692. ♪ I'm a tree critterCopy !req
693. ♪ Sticks and stones
are my bread and bonesCopy !req
694. ♪ I'm a tree critterCopy !req
695. - Triple G, what's up, baby?
- Granny, what's happening?Copy !req
696. What up, my homeys?
You ready to get spanked?Copy !req
697. So, what's the dizzo, grizzo?
You ready to floss that hill, playa?Copy !req
698. - Fo' shizzle!
- Yeah, gimme some love.Copy !req
699. G, you checking the hardcore
European team over there?Copy !req
700. Those guys put the Saber-Tooth Brothers
in the hospital yesterday!Copy !req
701. On the real, it's gonna be
wicked out there!Copy !req
702. You let me worry
about those player-haters.Copy !req
703. Oh, I almost forgot.
I made you kids some snicker-doodles.Copy !req
704. - Yo!
- Tight!Copy !req
705. Yeah, snicker-doodles!
Give it up! Give it up!Copy !req
706. Snickadeedoo!Copy !req
707. ♪ You can take the critter
out of the treeCopy !req
708. ♪ But you can't take the tree
out of the tree critter's needsCopy !req
709. ♪ Now this critter's gotta run
with the birds and the beesCopy !req
710. Well, what's your name?Copy !req
711. Just put, "To my biggest
and cutest fan, Boingo."Copy !req
712. And then, like, put some X's and O's
and a little smiley-face.Copy !req
713. All contestants
to the starting linelCopy !req
714. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
715. Be careful,
Granny Puckett.Copy !req
716. Old ladies get hurt on these slopes.Copy !req
717. Bring it, honey.Copy !req
718. Yo, Granny!Copy !req
719. I know you did not just
swing your pole at me!Copy !req
720. - You're little! You're small!
- Yeah? Well, take that, yo!Copy !req
721. - Yeah.
- Watch that skier!Copy !req
722. - Whoa! Look out!
- So it's like that?Copy !req
723. You wanna play now? Get some of this!Copy !req
724. That must have been right about
when Red called me the second time.Copy !req
725. I always forward my phone
when I leave the house.Copy !req
726. - Granny?
- What's that? Who's there?Copy !req
727. - Take that, from Mr. Big Muscleman!
- Want some of this?Copy !req
728. Gotta go, munchkin! Bonsai!Copy !req
729. Oh, you're not so bad!Copy !req
730. - Who do you work for?
- I can't tell you that.Copy !req
731. - Young man, you tell me this instant!
- All right!Copy !req
732. We were hired by the Bandit!Copy !req
733. Who is the Bandit?Copy !req
734. Granny is finished.Copy !req
735. Now we go after
the little red-hooded girl.Copy !req
736. Red!Copy !req
737. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
738. Oh, applesauce.Copy !req
739. ♪ Eva Deanna
My sister is your mamaCopy !req
740. ♪ She fell from heaven
like a loaf of mannaCopy !req
741. ♪ Put her in pajamas
and read her a book about animalsCopy !req
742. ♪ The way they sound
and how they lookCopy !req
743. ♪ She likes to stomp aroundCopy !req
744. ♪ She buckles on her shoes
to make it loudCopy !req
745. ♪ Singing the wheels on the bus
go round and roundCopy !req
746. ♪ I hold her ankles up
so she can dangle upside-downCopy !req
747. ♪ An avalanche is coming
and I do not feel preparedCopy !req
748. It's just Old Man Mountain
showing us who's boss.Copy !req
749. ♪ You can't rearrange herCopy !req
750. ♪ She's no stranger to dangerCopy !req
751. ♪ With golden locks on her head ♪Copy !req
752. I wish I had a video camera! Whoo!Copy !req
753. ♪ Rolling on the edgeCopy !req
754. ♪ Of the afternoonCopy !req
755. ♪ The glow of the sunCopy !req
756. ♪ Tells you that your day is not doneCopy !req
757. ♪ Pay the clock hand no mindCopy !req
758. ♪ I can't rewindCopy !req
759. ♪ But time is a friend of mineCopy !req
760. Red!Copy !req
761. Granny?Copy !req
762. Use the hood, Red!Copy !req
763. Use the hood!Copy !req
764. Ah, that's my girl.Copy !req
765. ♪ Ba-ba, da-dum-ba-ba-ba-baCopy !req
766. ♪ And it's all rightCopy !req
767. I guess it's just one of those days.Copy !req
768. ♪ Rollin'in the afternoon ♪Copy !req
769. What do we do, boss?Copy !req
770. Sweetie-pie! Sugar plum!Copy !req
771. Boy, that's hot.
OK, change of plans.Copy !req
772. You can be Granny.Copy !req
773. She's coming!Copy !req
774. Wee-dee-dee.Copy !req
775. Hi.Copy !req
776. Granny! It's me, Red.
Is everything OK?Copy !req
777. Yeah, sure thing. Come on in.Copy !req
778. Eventually I was able to use
the squirrel to break down the door.Copy !req
779. Ow! That hurts!Copy !req
780. I'm taking Granny down,
and you're next!Copy !req
781. I could've handled
that wolf myself.Copy !req
782. But then the craziest thing happened.Copy !req
783. Honey, don't look
at your granny like that.Copy !req
784. I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G.Copy !req
785. Or are you the Bandit?Copy !req
786. Awkward!Copy !req
787. - You're being ridiculous, Red.
- I'm being ridiculous?Copy !req
788. You're off living... la vida loca,Copy !req
789. risking your life for some dumb thrills,Copy !req
790. and I'm supposed to stay home
and be your happy little delivery girl?Copy !req
791. - I have a...
- Coffee break, anyone?Copy !req
792. - Yeah.
- Who's got my keys?Copy !req
793. You think Granny would mind
if I went through her garbage?Copy !req
794. - Excuse us.
- I thought you were happy.Copy !req
795. Open your eyes.Copy !req
796. I've never even been outside the forest.Copy !req
797. Don't you think I want more than that?Copy !req
798. Of course you do. You're a Puckett.Copy !req
799. I don't know what that means anymore.Copy !req
800. - Hey, look! It's Little Red!
- No, it's just some kid.Copy !req
801. - She's not wearing the red hood.
- There she goes!Copy !req
802. - Excuse me!
- Little girl!Copy !req
803. ♪ Everything is changingCopy !req
804. ♪ You're looking for the cureCopy !req
805. ♪ And you feel like
you're the loneliest girlCopy !req
806. ♪ In the worldCopy !req
807. ♪ Trouble in your head, nowCopy !req
808. ♪ You don't know what to doCopy !req
809. ♪ Seems like up is down and redCopy !req
810. ♪ Is blueCopy !req
811. ♪ Because red is blueCopy !req
812. ♪ Doesn't make much senseCopy !req
813. ♪ But red is blueCopy !req
814. How do you remember
all these recipes?Copy !req
815. They're all right here
in this book.Copy !req
816. Every recipe in here
comes from the Puckett family,Copy !req
817. generation after generation. See?Copy !req
818. Now, there's Sylvia Puckett
at the North Pole.Copy !req
819. She found the best hot chocolate
in the world there.Copy !req
820. And there's Emma Puckett.Copy !req
821. She flew cheesecakes
across the Atlantic.Copy !req
822. For as long as critters
have had a sweet tooth,Copy !req
823. Pucketts have been making
and collecting recipesCopy !req
824. all over the world,Copy !req
825. refining them, giving them
that special Puckett touch.Copy !req
826. So you see, Red,
when you put that hood on,Copy !req
827. you carry on a grand tradition.Copy !req
828. It's a big job, making sure
the world stays sweet.Copy !req
829. Huh? What's this?Copy !req
830. Oh, it says,
"World's Greatest Grandma."Copy !req
831. Grandma, I can read.Copy !req
832. It says,
"Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators."Copy !req
833. - Granny?
- Listen, munchkin.Copy !req
834. If there are two things
your Granny doesn't do,Copy !req
835. it's lie and play extreme sports.Copy !req
836. ♪ In your heart there's a room
where you lock awayCopy !req
837. ♪ All the times
and the things that she saidCopy !req
838. ♪ And now red is blueCopy !req
839. - Is it a flush that beats a full house?
- No, that's a full house.Copy !req
840. - It's not my turn?
- I know about houses.Copy !req
841. I built mine out of straw.
I'm not an idiot.Copy !req
842. Am I gonna get to put the cuffs
on someone, or what?Copy !req
843. Remember, Ted,Copy !req
844. pieces of a puzzle make funny shapes,
but they still fit together in the end.Copy !req
845. Boy, you're just full of those,
aren't you?Copy !req
846. We are closer to the Bandit
than we've ever been before, chief.Copy !req
847. The clues to find him
are right here in this room.Copy !req
848. In this room?
That's what I've been saying!Copy !req
849. Are you telling me
we're back to square one?Copy !req
850. Hold on, Smokey.
Where's the fire?Copy !req
851. Timmy, it's Tommy.
You there? Over.Copy !req
852. Am I talking to the wall?Copy !req
853. If you don't have your walkie,
don't talk to me,Copy !req
854. but if you got your walkie, let's talk.Copy !req
855. Put everybody in cuffs.
I'm taking them all in.Copy !req
856. It's what I do,
that's why I'm police chief.Copy !req
857. Timmy, it's Tommy. Pick up.
If you're there, pick up the walkie.Copy !req
858. What are you doing this weekend? Over.Copy !req
859. We've got this place
locked down, all secured.Copy !req
860. It would seem that all of you
came together tonight by mistake.Copy !req
861. Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads
so we could get to the real truth.Copy !req
862. - The Goody Bandit.
- That's right.Copy !req
863. The Bandit's still at large.Copy !req
864. There's been a lot
of finger-pointing tonight,Copy !req
865. but now all fingers point to the Bandit.Copy !req
866. - Not my finger!
- Oh, no,Copy !req
867. you were just out
damaging forest property,Copy !req
868. cutting down the redwoods
we all call home.Copy !req
869. Big guy like you, you could
probably take whatever you wantCopy !req
870. from little goody-loving creatures.Copy !req
871. But someone robbed me!
Have we lost track of that?Copy !req
872. That's right, someone did.Copy !req
873. Maybe a snack food competitor.Copy !req
874. Right, Granny?Copy !req
875. Now, hold on a pea-picking minute!Copy !req
876. I may lead a double life
full of secrets and deception,Copy !req
877. but that's no reason to be suspicious.Copy !req
878. A woman like you could have a lot
to gain stealing all those recipes.Copy !req
879. And that's how she makes
her goodies so good!Copy !req
880. Or she could just be another victim...Copy !req
881. - What?
...of a hungry wolf!Copy !req
882. The wolf did it. Talk about profiling.Copy !req
883. Why should we trust someone
who wears disguises for a living?Copy !req
884. - Maybe he's not a wolf at all!
- You got me. I'm a poodle.Copy !req
885. - Just haven't been to the barbershop.
- Is this all just a big joke to you?Copy !req
886. - I just followed the girl here.
- You leave my granddaughter alone!Copy !req
887. Yes, now we get to Little Red,Copy !req
888. the girl with the basket on the run.Copy !req
889. - Where is she, anyway?
- I was just...Copy !req
890. The recipes are gone!Copy !req
891. - Are you saying Red is the Bandit?
- Not my Red!Copy !req
892. Calm down there, Triple G.Copy !req
893. The only thing your
granddaughter is guilty ofCopy !req
894. is flying hummingbirds
without a license.Copy !req
895. It would seem there is
another player in this game,Copy !req
896. someone who's hippity-hopped
his way through all of your stories.Copy !req
897. Yes, there's someone else.Copy !req
898. The only one who was with Red
when she fell...Copy !req
899. - Ohh!
- No!Copy !req
900. ...who knew a shortcut to Granny's...Copy !req
901. Oh, yeah. In fact, I know a shortcut.Copy !req
902. ...who fraternizes
with evil ski teams...Copy !req
903. - What's your name?
- Put, "To my biggest and cutest fan."Copy !req
904. ...and someone who was thereCopy !req
905. when the schnitzel truck
was schnitzeled.Copy !req
906. What the schnitzel?Copy !req
907. Not the bunny!Copy !req
908. - I knew it. Never trust a bunny.
- Never trust a bunny!Copy !req
909. - Uh, chief.
- Yeah?Copy !req
910. No one's seen the bunny or the girl,
and that cable car left the station.Copy !req
911. I think we need an APB out
on something small and fuzzy.Copy !req
912. I think you're right.Copy !req
913. Get your boys to Red's place.
We need to head off that cable car.Copy !req
914. And bring in a police sketch artist.
No, make it a cartoonist.Copy !req
915. We gotta hurry to beat it down.
Bill, get everyone in the cars.Copy !req
916. Tommy, you can bring that evidence
with you. Let's go!Copy !req
917. - You heard the chief, let's move it!
- Not in the same car!Copy !req
918. Keep it moving.
There's nothing to see.Copy !req
919. - Who's got my keys?
- Shotgun.Copy !req
920. - Did you get any shots of the bunny?
- The bunny? Why?Copy !req
921. I told you to take pictures
of everything!Copy !req
922. Ohh! We gotta get this to print
before it's all over the forest!Copy !req
923. Something don't sit right
in my bones about this.Copy !req
924. - What's that?
- Maybe it's your bones.Copy !req
925. I smell schnitzel.Copy !req
926. What have they done
to my schnitzel truck?Copy !req
927. Why are they going up?Copy !req
928. There's on old cable car station
at the top of the mountain.Copy !req
929. We've got to follow them, boys.
Red's up there. I know it!Copy !req
930. Get down the mountain.
You gotta stop those cops.Copy !req
931. Run 'em off the road,
dangle a donut, I don't care.Copy !req
932. - Tell 'em they're going the wrong way.
- Eezie-peezie! Leave it to me!Copy !req
933. You'll never catch 'em in time.Copy !req
934. Is that coffee?Copy !req
935. I can't believe I'm saying this,
but... drink up.Copy !req
936. We may want...Copy !req
937. ...to stand back.Copy !req
938. Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
939. Caffeine! Yeah, baby!Copy !req
940. - Whoa!
- Go get 'em, boy.Copy !req
941. What...Copy !req
942. ...have I done?
- Now the rest is up to us.Copy !req
943. Can I have coffee?Copy !req
944. I don't like it.
The cops are all over the place.Copy !req
945. Forget about the cops!Copy !req
946. We've got everything
we need right here.Copy !req
947. What about the old lady?
If she's alive, she'll be back.Copy !req
948. You just don't get it, do you,
Dolph? I'm done!Copy !req
949. I'm done dancing for the man!Copy !req
950. The Muffin Man and Granny!Copy !req
951. They can both take a hike!Copy !req
952. I'm never gonna answer
to anyone ever again!Copy !req
953. Ah, I just love my job!Copy !req
954. You see how it works, Dolph?Copy !req
955. You prioritize, you set your goals,
you write a mission statement.Copy !req
956. You ask yourself,
"Where do I see me in five years?"Copy !req
957. How about behind bars?Copy !req
958. Red! Oh, hi, Red! What are you...?Copy !req
959. - You've spoiled the surprise.
- You're the Bandit.Copy !req
960. Surprise!Copy !req
961. I'm walkin' out of here
with those recipes.Copy !req
962. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
963. You're a bad bunny.Copy !req
964. Oh, somebody's finally catching up!Copy !req
965. Did you think I followed you around
on your deliveries because I liked you?Copy !req
966. Oh, you best be fearing the ear, baby.Copy !req
967. Is that all you got?Copy !req
968. - Ohh!
- Ha! You hit like a girl!Copy !req
969. Come on.Copy !req
970. And ka-blam!Copy !req
971. Why don't you go home
and cry to your granny?Copy !req
972. Dolph, tie up the brat.
Lesa, hold the book.Copy !req
973. Vincent, get the truck. And Keith...Copy !req
974. Darn it, change your name. Please.Copy !req
975. That's not scary,
and I'm embarrassed to say it.Copy !req
976. Boris. Try that.Copy !req
977. Keith. You know?Copy !req
978. Oh, watch out for Keith.Copy !req
979. - You're crazy!
- Maybe so.Copy !req
980. But I'm top of the woods now, baby!Copy !req
981. ♪ When you'reCopy !req
982. ♪ Hopping on down the bunny trailCopy !req
983. ♪ The critters all seem to look downCopy !req
984. ♪ You're fuzzy and small
Your ears are too tallCopy !req
985. ♪ And goodies make the woods go roundCopy !req
986. ♪ Now, I'm not a pig
But you gotta think bigCopy !req
987. ♪ When you're competing
with the girl in the hoodCopy !req
988. ♪ So you won't be a fan of my evil planCopy !req
989. ♪ But I'm gonna be top of the woodsCopy !req
990. ♪ Now the kids will be packed
with my Boingo snacksCopy !req
991. ♪ Construction begins in a dayCopy !req
992. ♪ And all of the bears
will be ruled by the hareCopy !req
993. ♪ As I maniacally plot
from my evil lairCopy !req
994. We've really grown in the past year.
Nabbing all the recipes was phase one.Copy !req
995. Now phase two is adding
my own special ingredientCopy !req
996. to every goody.Copy !req
997. A little something
I like to call "Boingonium."Copy !req
998. It makes my snacks a little more...
habit-forming.Copy !req
999. Happy customer!Copy !req
1000. Phase three gets a little messy.Copy !req
1001. I'm gonna need a lot of real estate
down the mountain,Copy !req
1002. so I've gotta blow the competition away.Copy !req
1003. Oh, and that's not a metaphor.Copy !req
1004. We've literally got
to blow them away. OK?Copy !req
1005. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
1006. And now that I have
your granny's secrets,Copy !req
1007. I'm afraid you'll be taking
the dyno-mite express home.Copy !req
1008. ♪ You won't be disrespecting
this bunny no moreCopy !req
1009. ♪ 'Cause I'm gonna be top of the woods
Oh, yeahCopy !req
1010. ♪ I said I'm gonna be top of the woodsCopy !req
1011. ♪ Let's bring it on home!Copy !req
1012. ♪ I said, I'm gonna beCopy !req
1013. ♪ Top of the woodsCopy !req
1014. ♪ You've been hoodwinked, baby!Copy !req
1015. ♪ Oh, yeah ♪Copy !req
1016. Sweet tea and cookies!
We got to do something!Copy !req
1017. I know.Copy !req
1018. The song was catchy,
but the choreography was terrible.Copy !req
1019. OK, listen.Copy !req
1020. I have an idea, but we need
to get past that ski team.Copy !req
1021. The toughest one is the big fella,
really mean-looking,Copy !req
1022. with a fat head and a thick skull.
Looks like a shaved ape.Copy !req
1023. I mean, he is u-u-u-ugly!Copy !req
1024. Like a big, swollen, overgrown...Copy !req
1025. He's standing right behind me, isn't he?Copy !req
1026. - Who taught you how to drive?
- Almost hit a squirrel. That was close.Copy !req
1027. What's the big idea?Copy !req
1028. I could've made road pizza
out of you, kid!Copy !req
1029. - What's he saying?
- What is it, boy?Copy !req
1030. Truck. Trouble at the mill!Copy !req
1031. Is the barn on fire?Copy !req
1032. The barn's on fire! The well!
Timmy's stuck in the well!Copy !req
1033. Hold on. He seems to be
speaking words of some kind.Copy !req
1034. Pffsst!Copy !req
1035. You're a delivery girl.
Then could you do me a favor?Copy !req
1036. Could you take this down the mountain?Copy !req
1037. 'Cause it absolutely, positively
has to be there tonight!Copy !req
1038. I'm sorry. What?
I can't quite... with the...Copy !req
1039. You got something right there
across your mouth!Copy !req
1040. You're an actor, right?
So this is your big part.Copy !req
1041. This is the role of a lifetime.
Make them believe in you.Copy !req
1042. Don't act like an evil henchman,
be an evil henchman. Got it?Copy !req
1043. - Know what you're gonna say, right?
- Right!Copy !req
1044. - Mr. Rabbit?
- Dolph! Where have you been?Copy !req
1045. You nim-witted Eurotrash with the...
What is that, a ski mask?Copy !req
1046. I like that. See, that's scary.
That's good.Copy !req
1047. - Boss...
- What? Say it! Spit it out!Copy !req
1048. - What's going on?
- Boss...Copy !req
1049. Paul's Bunion cream
has the soothing formula...Copy !req
1050. Hi there. What he means to say
is that I'm the building inspector.Copy !req
1051. - Yes.
- I just need to tap the pipesCopy !req
1052. to see if your wiring's up to par.Copy !req
1053. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. You're not...
No. You can't touch anything in here.Copy !req
1054. Let's walk.Copy !req
1055. Let me level with you.
You're an evil genius, right?Copy !req
1056. Well, I don't know
if I'd say genius, you know.Copy !req
1057. I was asked to join Mensa.Copy !req
1058. You got an evil lair in a cave,
that's standard,Copy !req
1059. but see, most masters of evil
that we deal withCopy !req
1060. are up to evil genius code.Copy !req
1061. Are you familiar with the code?Copy !req
1062. You know, I'm more of a
do-it-yourself kind of guy. Yeah.Copy !req
1063. I understand.
Thinking about putting in a laser?Copy !req
1064. I don't know. I don't...
Do you think I should?Copy !req
1065. Well, it's standard equipment
for a cave lair.Copy !req
1066. I'm not saying you're
gonna zap someone today,Copy !req
1067. but you gotta think about the future.
They gotta be calibrated.Copy !req
1068. - You gonna do that yourself?
- Well, I... I...Copy !req
1069. We should take a look
at that power grid.Copy !req
1070. OK. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
1071. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1072. I smell hairspray.Copy !req
1073. Come here, you little bunny!Copy !req
1074. Gotcha!Copy !req
1075. Get over here!Copy !req
1076. Hey, Puckett!Copy !req
1077. Little Red's gonna take a ride!Copy !req
1078. And there ain't...Copy !req
1079. ...no...Copy !req
1080. ...brakes!Copy !req
1081. Red!Copy !req
1082. She doesn't trust you anymore, Granny!Copy !req
1083. Out of my way, bunny!Copy !req
1084. Dolph!Copy !req
1085. Wow, that's a... that's a long way.Copy !req
1086. - We could take the truck.
- Let's take the truck.Copy !req
1087. Yeah, cool.Copy !req
1088. They go up, you go down.
Gotta help! APB! Get the bunny!Copy !req
1089. - This squirrel ate the wrong nuts.
- English! What's wrong with you?Copy !req
1090. Wait a minute. I've got an idea.Copy !req
1091. Ah... OK.Copy !req
1092. The criminal cannot be found
at the bottom of the mountain.Copy !req
1093. He resides at the top
in a cave fortressCopy !req
1094. where my companions
are trying to detain him.Copy !req
1095. - That's more like it.
- How do we know he's on the level?Copy !req
1096. He threw himself in front of a car.
That's commitment.Copy !req
1097. No, that's crazy.
We can't get up there in time anyway.Copy !req
1098. Hey, chief! It looks like
they're coming to us!Copy !req
1099. - Granny!
- I'm coming, honey!Copy !req
1100. Grab the hood!Copy !req
1101. Hold tight!Copy !req
1102. End of the line, ladies!Copy !req
1103. - Granny!
- You know what to do.Copy !req
1104. Oh, wonderful.Copy !req
1105. No!Copy !req
1106. Watch your head.Copy !req
1107. That hurts.Copy !req
1108. Get 'em outta here, boys.Copy !req
1109. - No, no, no, no. Not prison.
- Say Parcheesi!Copy !req
1110. Not prison! Not for a cute
little bunny rabbit!Copy !req
1111. Granny, Little Bit, we got 'em!Copy !req
1112. - Not bad for a little cookie maker.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1113. I guess I must have had
my eyes shut pretty tightCopy !req
1114. not to see how fast
you were growing up.Copy !req
1115. You were really something up there.Copy !req
1116. I take after my granny.Copy !req
1117. Hello, everybody!
Here, we have the book!Copy !req
1118. - What happened here tonight?
- My granny swooped in and saved me.Copy !req
1119. - And the whole forest!
- It was my Red who saved the day.Copy !req
1120. Well, it was a group effort,
spearheaded by myself, of course.Copy !req
1121. You'll read the story in tomorrow's
column, but I will take a few questions.Copy !req
1122. Mr. Kirkendal will be appearing
in our ad campaign...Copy !req
1123. - I got a call-back!
- No, don't talk.Copy !req
1124. If a tree falls in the forest,
you'll get three stories,Copy !req
1125. yours, mine and the tree's.Copy !req
1126. Well, a bunny gone bad
is going away,Copy !req
1127. and you'll wake up tomorrow
with piping hot tea cakes,Copy !req
1128. same as always.Copy !req
1129. Those are piping hot.Copy !req
1130. So how about that new
delivery system?Copy !req
1131. Well, it beats riding a bike,
that's for sure.Copy !req
1132. ♪ I got horns that hold the muffinsCopy !req
1133. ♪ And I got horns that hold the piesCopy !req
1134. Hey, did you hear about Kirk?
He finally made it.Copy !req
1135. - Wanna see the show with us?
- I'm allergic to yodeling.Copy !req
1136. - Now, Wolfie...
- I'm front page material now,Copy !req
1137. I'm about to crack a story
about the three pigsCopy !req
1138. running a home improvement scam.
Houses falling.Copy !req
1139. I got the wide-angle lenses
for those piggies.Copy !req
1140. You sure this is the right place?Copy !req
1141. - Ah.
- Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
1142. I see you all got my message.Copy !req
1143. - Glad you could make it.
- What's going on?Copy !req
1144. Well, I was wondering if you would
like to come and work for me.Copy !req
1145. I could use some fresh talent like you.Copy !req
1146. What kind of work
are we talking about?Copy !req
1147. You'd be undercover,
on impossible missions...Copy !req
1148. ...to faraway places.Copy !req
1149. There's a lot of stories out there
that need a happy ending.Copy !req
1150. I'm part of a secret organization
that makes sure that happens.Copy !req
1151. "Happily Ever After Agency"?Copy !req
1152. The woods don't
go around by themselves.Copy !req
1153. We fight the bad guys,
swing through the windowsCopy !req
1154. secret-agent-style, right?Copy !req
1155. So, what do you think?Copy !req
1156. Bring it, honey.Copy !req
1157. I always did like happy endings.Copy !req