1. Red Riding Hood,
you probably know the story.Copy !req
2. But there's more to every tale
than meets the eye.Copy !req
3. It's just like they always say,
you can't judge a book by its cover.Copy !req
4. If you want to know the truth,
you've gotta flip through the pages.Copy !req
5. Granny!Copy !req
6. It's me, Red!Copy !req
7. Is everything OK?Copy !req
8. Oh, yeah, sure thing. Come on in.Copy !req
9. What?Copy !req
10. - Who are you?
- I'm your grandma.Copy !req
11. Your face looks really weird, Granny.Copy !req
12. I've been sick. I...Copy !req
13. Your mouth doesn't move when you talk.Copy !req
14. Plastic surgery.
Grandma's had a little work done.Copy !req
15. Now, come on over here.
Let's have a look at you.Copy !req
16. So, what's going on, Grandma?Copy !req
17. This and that, doing a lot of quilting.Copy !req
18. So you got the loot?Copy !req
19. Whoa. What big hands you have.Copy !req
20. Oh, all the better
to scratch my back with.Copy !req
21. - And what big ears you have!
- All the better to hear your...Copy !req
22. many criticisms!Copy !req
23. Old people just have big ears, dear.Copy !req
24. And Granny, what big eyes you have!Copy !req
25. Are we just gonna sit around here
and talk about how big I'm getting?Copy !req
26. You came here for a reason. So tell
old Granny what you got in the basket.Copy !req
27. Ah, Granny! What bad breath you have!Copy !req
28. All right!Copy !req
29. You again? What do I have to do,
get a restraining order?Copy !req
30. Settle down, little girl. I'm on to you.Copy !req
31. - Hai-ya!
- Save it, Red Fu.Copy !req
32. You been dodging me all day,
but now you might as well give up.Copy !req
33. You crazy wolf!
What have you done with Granny?Copy !req
34. I'm taking Granny down, and you're next!Copy !req
35. - Granny!
- It's you! But you...Copy !req
36. Chief Grizzly,
are the suspectsCopy !req
37. - connected with the Goody Bandit?
- Yeah, uh...Copy !req
38. No. Don't print that, Maxine.
We don't know anything yet.Copy !req
39. Is the house
made of gingerbread?Copy !req
40. - Don't think so.
- Do bears eat gingerbread?Copy !req
41. That's enough with the questions.
Jerry, come on! Get these people back!Copy !req
42. All right, back it up!
Let the chief do his job!Copy !req
43. Come on, you, with the feathers,
back behind the snake.Copy !req
44. I just want to go home and hibernate.Copy !req
45. - Bill!
- Chief!Copy !req
46. - All right, what do we got?
- It's a domestic disturbance.Copy !req
47. Breaking and entering, wielding an ax
without a license, intent to eat.Copy !req
48. I get it. Any connection
with the recipe robberies?Copy !req
49. You mean the Goody Bandit? Could be.
The house belongs to Granny Puckett.Copy !req
50. - The cookbook lady?
- Yeah, that's the one.Copy !req
51. OK, Paul Bunyan was swinging the ax,
and Wolfie was trying to eat Lil' Bit.Copy !req
52. - All right, get a muzzle on that guy.
- I can explain everything.Copy !req
53. You can explain it to the judge.Copy !req
54. - Shouldn't you be in school?
- Shouldn't I have a lawyer?Copy !req
55. Uh... What are you doing?Copy !req
56. - Hey. We was just...
- I was just smelling it.Copy !req
57. - Don't eat that. That's evidence.
- Right.Copy !req
58. All right, so this looks
pretty open-and-shut.Copy !req
59. Little Miss Rosy Cakes making covert
deliveries to the goody tycoon,Copy !req
60. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both,Copy !req
61. then Crazy Flannel Pants with the ax
here busts in swinging vigilante-style.Copy !req
62. Take 'em downtown, boys.Copy !req
63. It's the woods, chief.
We don't have a downtown.Copy !req
64. You know what I mean.
Just book 'em!Copy !req
65. Not so fast, Grizzly.Copy !req
66. That's the problem with you bears,
always growling up the wrong tree.Copy !req
67. - Hey, Nicky!
- You on the case, Nick?Copy !req
68. No, just stopping by
to have a sarsaparilla.Copy !req
69. Say, Tommy, you lose some weight?Copy !req
70. - Uh, no.
- Didn't think so.Copy !req
71. Nicky Flippers. What are you
doing here? This is my case.Copy !req
72. Well, someone hibernated
on the wrong side of the cave.Copy !req
73. I saw the lights,
thought the circus was in town.Copy !req
74. Now, of course, I see I was right.Copy !req
75. You're too late, Nicky.
I got this case all wrapped up.Copy !req
76. - Is that right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
77. They got us all wrong,
Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
78. Oh, I don't know,
you look pretty dangerous to me.Copy !req
79. - What's your name?
- Red.Copy !req
80. - And why do they call you that?
- Why do they call you "Flippers"?Copy !req
81. Go FlippersCopy !req
82. - Jump! Get on!
- Go FlippersCopy !req
83. Go Flippers
Go FlippersCopy !req
84. Uh, no reason.Copy !req
85. They call me Red
because of this red hood I wear.Copy !req
86. - What about when you're not wearing it?
- I usually wear it.Copy !req
87. Recipes have come up missing
all over the forest.Copy !req
88. Goody shops have been
going out of business for months,Copy !req
89. and the trail ends here.
I got a case to close.Copy !req
90. Slow down, chief. We've got four
suspects, and that means four stories,Copy !req
91. and if you get people talking long
enough, someone will spill the beans.Copy !req
92. - Beans?
- Could I just make a quick phone call?Copy !req
93. I'll tell you what happened.Copy !req
94. What's with the handcuffs on a girl?
Her wrists could slip right out.Copy !req
95. - How about a cage?
- Bring in the cage!Copy !req
96. - I was being sarcastic.
- Sarcasm. Strike the cage.Copy !req
97. All right,
get the cuffs off her.Copy !req
98. So, Red, why don't you explain
how this all began?Copy !req
99. Well, like any other day.Copy !req
100. I was making deliveries
for my Granny's goody shop.Copy !req
101. - Hey, Red.
♪ She could never be rudeCopy !req
102. Hey, Red!Copy !req
103. Oh! Nice outfit. Always red with you.Copy !req
104. - You must be in autumn.
- Hey, Boingo.Copy !req
105. Aren't you helping the Muffin Man today?Copy !req
106. Oh, he closed up shop.
Someone took all his recipes last night,Copy !req
107. and now I'm out of a job.Copy !req
108. Gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry.
Are you still running the cable car?Copy !req
109. Yeah, yeah, I am.Copy !req
110. But it's nothing like
making goodies all day.Copy !req
111. Would a carrot crumpet
make you feel better?Copy !req
112. Oh, boy, oh, boy! Thanks, Red.
I can always count on you to deliver,Copy !req
113. you little rascally devil.Copy !req
114. Yeah, well, the woods
don't go around by themselves.Copy !req
115. Shut it down.Copy !req
116. - Come on, let's go.
- Where are we going now, Mama?Copy !req
117. With the Goody Bandit
on the loose,Copy !req
118. recipes were becoming
an endangered species.Copy !req
119. I decided to call Granny.Copy !req
120. If anyone would know what to do,
she would.Copy !req
121. I don't know what to do.
I'm just a tired old lady.Copy !req
122. Your recipes are the most famous
in the whole forest, Granny.Copy !req
123. What if they get swiped?
It could wipe you out.Copy !req
124. Maybe I should bring you
the recipe book, for safekeeping.Copy !req
125. A trip up the mountain
is too dangerous for a little girl.Copy !req
126. I'm not so little anymore.Copy !req
127. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes
there, and everything will be fine.Copy !req
128. - But...
- I have to go now. My program's on.Copy !req
129. Kisses.Copy !req
130. What you reading, Red?Copy !req
131. "Far Away Places"?Copy !req
132. - Are you going somewhere far away?
- No. The world is too dangerous.Copy !req
133. Can't see! Danger! Turn into the skid!Copy !req
134. I'm OK. I'll walk it off.Copy !req
135. You can't go away.
Who's gonna ride the Goody Bike?Copy !req
136. If I had wings like you,
I'd fly all the way past that mountain,Copy !req
137. and the next one and the next one...Copy !req
138. But I can't. I'm just a kid.Copy !req
139. I'm just a woodpecker.Copy !req
140. Uh-oh.Copy !req
141. "You're next"?Copy !req
142. What... what does it mean,
"you're next"?Copy !req
143. Ruined.Copy !req
144. It means someone wants our recipes.Copy !req
145. Are they gonna get your recipes?Copy !req
146. Not today.Copy !req
147. So you deliberately
took your Granny's recipesCopy !req
148. from the family vault,
without permission.Copy !req
149. - Help yourself.
- And then,Copy !req
150. you set out on a dangerous journey
up the mountain...Copy !req
151. alone?
- Yeah. I guess I did.Copy !req
152. I guess running the cable car's
not so bad, you know.Copy !req
153. It's a great way to see the forest
without worrying about all those big,Copy !req
154. mean, hairy beasts out there.Copy !req
155. - Beasts?
- Oh, yeah, you know, beasts.Copy !req
156. The wolves and the bobcats
and the mountain lionsCopy !req
157. and the saber-tooth tigers!
But mostly wolves.Copy !req
158. Mostly wolves.Copy !req
159. The forest can be a dangerous place for
a little guy like me, with my cute...Copy !req
160. Look at me, I'm fuzzy...
You deliver up this far?Copy !req
161. Well, not usually.Copy !req
162. But I was thinking
about what you told me earlier.Copy !req
163. About the Muffin Man?Copy !req
164. I need to protect Granny's recipes
from that Bandit's evil plan.Copy !req
165. They're gonna shut down everyone
in the forest if we're not careful.Copy !req
166. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
167. Hello.Copy !req
168. So you're the little girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
169. That was quite a bit of falling
you did just now.Copy !req
170. - You saw that.
- Yeah, gravity's working.Copy !req
171. Those old cable cars on the...
You should write a letter.Copy !req
172. Wow! Something smells good.
Those, uh... goodies in there?Copy !req
173. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.Copy !req
174. No, you shouldn't. Good call.Copy !req
175. What are you doing
in the big, bad forest?Copy !req
176. You taking the goodies
to someone in particular?Copy !req
177. - Um... my granny.
- Granny?Copy !req
178. Granny Puckett? The goody lady?Copy !req
179. My goodness,
she makes some good... goodies.Copy !req
180. She's got a thing, it's like a...
It's like a... cookies.Copy !req
181. Shortbread,
chocolate icing between, very...Copy !req
182. It's good. Ah, it's very good.Copy !req
183. You make deliveries
to your granny often?Copy !req
184. I don't think I should tell you that.Copy !req
185. Oh, you don't have
anything else in that?Copy !req
186. You ask a lot of questions, mister.Copy !req
187. Well, I'm a curious guy.
Let me have a look.Copy !req
188. I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
189. Red! Red Riding Hood!Copy !req
190. Hand over the basket.Copy !req
191. Red!Copy !req
192. You can't hold
onto those recipes forever!Copy !req
193. I'll get you,
and your little Granny too!Copy !req
194. Well, that settles it.Copy !req
195. - We got our Bandit.
- Could be.Copy !req
196. I'd like to count my chickens
after they hatch.Copy !req
197. Chickens?Copy !req
198. You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping
kids in the middle of the forest...Copy !req
199. - That's pretty creepy.
- Right. Yes, yes.Copy !req
200. But we don't arrest people
for being creepy.Copy !req
201. Yeah, Bruce. You know that guy
we got in the tank?Copy !req
202. - The creepy one?
- Yeah. Better let him go.Copy !req
203. So you went on to Granny's?Copy !req
204. I found an old trail
up the north side of the mountain.Copy !req
205. Hello!Copy !req
206. Hello.Copy !req
207. I'm looking for Granny Puckett's house.Copy !req
208. - Could you stop singing for one moment?
♪ No, I can't, I wish I couldCopy !req
209. - Everything?
- That's right.Copy !req
210. You just talked! Just now!Copy !req
211. Did I?Copy !req
212. - Granny?
- What's that? Who's there?Copy !req
213. It's Red. I'm on my way
to come see...Copy !req
214. Oh, my dearie, I'm not prepared.Copy !req
215. I need to put down fresh doilies!Copy !req
216. - Granny! Granny, what's wrong?
- Gotta go, munchkin.Copy !req
217. Bonsai!Copy !req
218. Oh, no.Copy !req
219. Mr. Goat, my granny's in trouble.Copy !req
220. I've gotta find a way
around the mountain, fast.Copy !req
221. Oh, good. More singing.Copy !req
222. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
223. That's great...Copy !req
224. These tunnels, I need one
that leads to Puckett Grove.Copy !req
225. - Can you help me find...?
♪ To be prepared, to be preparedCopy !req
226. - Aaah!
- Yipee!Copy !req
227. Keep your hands and feet
inside of the vehicle at all times!Copy !req
228. Red!Copy !req
229. Granny?Copy !req
230. Use the hood, Red!Copy !req
231. Use the hood!Copy !req
232. What?Copy !req
233. Granny! It's me, Red. Is everything OK?Copy !req
234. Oh, yeah, sure thing.Copy !req
235. So this wolf, he was dressed
as your grandmother?Copy !req
236. - Yes.
- I'm your grandma.Copy !req
237. - And you bought that?
- No, not really.Copy !req
238. Whoa. What big hands you have.Copy !req
239. And what big ears you have.Copy !req
240. What bad breath you have!
What big eyes you have.Copy !req
241. Are we just gonna sit around here
and talk about how big I'm getting?Copy !req
242. Then the fellow with the ax burst in?Copy !req
243. No, no, not yet.Copy !req
244. First I was attacked
by that crazy wolf!Copy !req
245. Hai-ya! You crazy wolf!Copy !req
246. My granny jumped
out of a closet.Copy !req
247. - Aaah!
- But she was tied up...Copy !req
248. And then the axman cometh?Copy !req
249. You got it.Copy !req
250. Only he was screaming.Copy !req
251. Like a maniac.Copy !req
252. - So that was it?
- That wolf was gonna eat us all.Copy !req
253. The guy's pawprints
are all over the room. Book him!Copy !req
254. Hold the phone, fuzzy-wuzzy.
Let's hear it from the wolf's mouth.Copy !req
255. - Don't I get a drink?
- No!Copy !req
256. So, Mr. Wolf, may I call you "Wolf"?Copy !req
257. You can call me Sheila.
I like long walks and fresh flowers.Copy !req
258. Quit playing around, Wolf!Copy !req
259. You're looking at three-to-five
in an old shoe with no windows!Copy !req
260. So start singing!Copy !req
261. - Your face looks familiar.
- I get around the forest.Copy !req
262. What do you for a living, Mr. Wolf?Copy !req
263. I'm a shepherd. Hey!Copy !req
264. You might as well confess.
I told them everything!Copy !req
265. Could you keep her
away from me, please?Copy !req
266. I remember you.Copy !req
267. Three years ago on the Stiltskin case.Copy !req
268. You were snooping around
for a lead on his real name.Copy !req
269. I was close too.Copy !req
270. I was gonna go with "Greg. "
Greg Stiltskin.Copy !req
271. Wait a minute, Flippers!
You saying this guy's a cop?Copy !req
272. Worse. He's a reporter.Copy !req
273. - A what?
- And I've got the real story.Copy !req
274. I'm an investigativejournalist.Copy !req
275. You've probably read my column
Facts and Fairy Tales.Copy !req
276. I spent the last six months undercoverCopy !req
277. investigating
the so-called "Goody Bandit. "Copy !req
278. As more recipes go missing,
the trail has gotten hotter.Copy !req
279. And I'm talking hot coffee, hot coffee,Copy !req
280. all over my neck. Very, very painful.Copy !req
281. People think a health board examiner
doesn't lead a dangerous life,Copy !req
282. but I will tell you, my furry friend,
food is dangerous.Copy !req
283. That's why Kenny told me
to come and take a look.Copy !req
284. - Who?
- Your boss, Kenny.Copy !req
285. - You mean Earl?
- That's what Earl said.Copy !req
286. He said, uh, "Kenny, come down here,"
and so, here I am.Copy !req
287. I'm surprised your dessert counter
hasn't been hit,Copy !req
288. with all the thievery going around.Copy !req
289. - What did you say your name was?
- Shaw. Rick Shaw. I'm in from Japan.Copy !req
290. Well, Kenny, I'm gonna
give you a clean bill of health.Copy !req
291. But I'm gonna need the names
of all your suppliers.Copy !req
292. You'll have to talk to Earl.Copy !req
293. Well, that's Earl right now.
Probably called the FDA.Copy !req
294. You keep that thing groomed.
And watch out for hot coffee. Painful.Copy !req
295. No desserts. Waste of time.Copy !req
296. The little delivery girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
297. Always on the go.Copy !req
298. More goodies pass through her hands
than anyone's in the whole forest.Copy !req
299. She seemed happy...Copy !req
300. a little too happy, perhaps.Copy !req
301. Oh! Creepy.Copy !req
302. I was starting to have my suspicions.Copy !req
303. Who does she move the goodies for?Copy !req
304. Where do they come from?
Where are they going?Copy !req
305. And why the hood?Copy !req
306. - Twitchy, you scared me.
- Hey, boss, I beeped you. Get my beep?Copy !req
307. - Calm down.
- I got up early. Got the gear.Copy !req
308. I was watching the girl
like you told me to.Copy !req
309. - Yeah. Did you see where she went?
- Past porcupines and the bird's tree,Copy !req
310. guy with the beard, now she's
up the creek! She sings everywhere!Copy !req
311. I'm way ahead of you.
We gotta find out who she's working for.Copy !req
312. - You got the camera?
- The 220x and photograb with autofocus!Copy !req
313. - Color or black and white?
- Doesn't matter.Copy !req
314. - I brought a flash!
- Put that away!Copy !req
315. - It's covert. No flash.
- Undercover, got it.Copy !req
316. Nobody sees, nobody knows.
Click-click. Hee-hee.Copy !req
317. You ever thought
about decaffeinated coffee?Copy !req
318. I don't drink coffee!Copy !req
319. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon.Copy !req
320. I decided to get the word on the
street from one of my top informants.Copy !req
321. - How's it going, Woolworth?
- Man, what are you doing here?Copy !req
322. The shepherd comes by and sees me
talking to you, I'm gonna get the crook.Copy !req
323. Yeah? There's a bigger crook
on the loose that I'm concerned about.Copy !req
324. - What ya hear about the Goody Bandit?
- What do I know?Copy !req
325. Hiya, Twitchy.Copy !req
326. - The little girl in the red hood.
- Don't know, never heard of her.Copy !req
327. Little Red? Processing...Copy !req
328. Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now.
Sweet gal. Not like that Bo Peep.Copy !req
329. Brat put in an invisible fence.
I tasted my own fillings for a week!Copy !req
330. Focus! The girl in the hood.Copy !req
331. You get around the mountain.
Who does she work for?Copy !req
332. How should I know?
I ain't that curious.Copy !req
333. Family business. Ain't you
ever heard of Granny Puckett?Copy !req
334. - Puckett?
- Her grandma.Copy !req
335. The Granny Puckett?
You pulling the wool over my eyes?Copy !req
336. Ha-ha. Hilarious. Come up
with that yourself? That's funny.Copy !req
337. - You're looking pretty tasty.
- Why you gotta be like that?Copy !req
338. All I know is that the old lady
lives up high in the hills.Copy !req
339. - Not a lot of visitors.
- Except the little girl.Copy !req
340. She's been known to take
the cable car up the mountain.Copy !req
341. Cable car?Copy !req
342. Those sheep made me hungry.
After this, we're grabbing a bite.Copy !req
343. Sounds good. Sounds good.Copy !req
344. Baa.Copy !req
345. I don't know what to do.
Should I call her?Copy !req
346. - Am I supposed to play it cool?
- Keeping her options open.Copy !req
347. Seeing other people.
You should do the same.Copy !req
348. Shh. Up there.Copy !req
349. Do you mind?Copy !req
350. Ooh. Sorry.Copy !req
351. Hey, you deliver up this far?Copy !req
352. The Muffin Man...
Granny's recipes...Copy !req
353. an evil plan.Copy !req
354. shut down everyone in the forest...Copy !req
355. I knew it.Copy !req
356. She's working for the old lady. Twitchy.Copy !req
357. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
358. Hello.Copy !req
359. So you're the little girl
in the red hood.Copy !req
360. That's quite a bit of falling
you did just now.Copy !req
361. Gravity's working.Copy !req
362. What are you doing
in the big, bad forest?Copy !req
363. You taking goodies
to someone in particular?Copy !req
364. Um... Granny.Copy !req
365. You don't have anything else
in that basket?Copy !req
366. - You ask a lot of questions, mister.
- Well, I'm a curious guy.Copy !req
367. - Let me have a look.
- I'd rather you didn't.Copy !req
368. I mean, "please. " Come back here!Copy !req
369. - What are you doing?
- Sorry, I was winding.Copy !req
370. Come on! We're gonna lose her!
Red! Red Riding Hood!Copy !req
371. We'll never catch her.Copy !req
372. Taxi!Copy !req
373. Whoa! That was her.
We passed her. Right here's fine.Copy !req
374. Suspect is approaching on foot,
stolen recipes in basket.Copy !req
375. I'm about to catch her red-handed.Copy !req
376. Hand over the basket!Copy !req
377. So you really took a beating...Copy !req
378. from a little girl?
- Hey!Copy !req
379. Get back here, you little brat!Copy !req
380. OK. Not cool.Copy !req
381. You can't hold
onto those recipes forever!Copy !req
382. I'll get you,
and your little Granny too!Copy !req
383. Well, that's fishy.Copy !req
384. What? They're evil. I'll prove it!Copy !req
385. - So can we eat?
- Sure. You hungry for failure?Copy !req
386. Maybe a side of unemployment?
'Cause that's what's for lunch.Copy !req
387. - What do we do?
- We go right to the source.Copy !req
388. We gotta get to Granny's before the kid.Copy !req
389. - Is it a surprise?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
390. You're going over to Granny's house
to surprise Red. Is it her birthday,Copy !req
391. or what is it? Is there a shindig?
'Cause I'm great at parties.Copy !req
392. - Watch me pull myself out of a hat!
- Yeah.Copy !req
393. Big surprise party.
You know how to get there?Copy !req
394. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
In fact, I know a shortcut.Copy !req
395. You hear that? He knows a shortcut.Copy !req
396. Over the woods and through the river...Copy !req
397. No, you don't want to go
through the river, you'll get all wet.Copy !req
398. You see, Twitchy, you get lemons,
you make lemonade.Copy !req
399. And then that lemonade goes bitter
and ferments and turns to pig swill.Copy !req
400. Never trust a bunny
with directions, Twitchy.Copy !req
401. Sure thing, boss. Never trust a bunny!Copy !req
402. The bright side is,
at least I finally dried off.Copy !req
403. Why couldn't I write movie reviews?Copy !req
404. We are in a pickle, and I blame myself.Copy !req
405. That bunny was worthless, not to mention
he wrote directions on an Easter egg,Copy !req
406. - which is hard to read.
- We're gonna die here!Copy !req
407. Hey, now, that's what they said
at The Alamo.Copy !req
408. Wha... what was that? Who's that?Copy !req
409. Hey, look where we are. More cave.Copy !req
410. - Hey, whazzi-lookie!
- With God as my witness,Copy !req
411. you will learn to speak.
Look! A way out.Copy !req
412. But I was just...Copy !req
413. Follow me.Copy !req
414. - Huh?
- Come on.Copy !req
415. Now, this is a shortcut.Copy !req
416. Whazzat? Sounds like an avalanche!Copy !req
417. Well, Twitchy, that's natural.Copy !req
418. It's just Old Man Mountain
showing us who's boss.Copy !req
419. Hey, lookie!
A box of candles! A big box!Copy !req
420. Box of candles? Light 'em up!Copy !req
421. Wow, that's nice and bright.
What kind of candles are those?Copy !req
422. - Deen-a-meet-tay. Must be Italian.
- Ah! Lose the candle!Copy !req
423. But I...Copy !req
424. Got it.Copy !req
425. Did you hear something?Copy !req
426. Hm. Come on, let's get to Granny's.Copy !req
427. Hello! Paper boy.Copy !req
428. Publisher's, uh...Copy !req
429. Candygram.Copy !req
430. What do we do, boss?Copy !req
431. Lucky for me, Granny keeps
her merchandise around the cottage.Copy !req
432. Disguise was the only way
to catch this girlCopy !req
433. in the act of smuggling.Copy !req
434. Sweetie-pie! Sugar plum!Copy !req
435. Hug your granny, little pudding pop.Copy !req
436. Boy, that's hot. OK, change of plans.Copy !req
437. You can be Granny.Copy !req
438. She's coming!Copy !req
439. Wa-dee-dee!Copy !req
440. Granny! It's me, Red.Copy !req
441. - Is everything OK?
- Yeah, sure thing. Come on in.Copy !req
442. Pretty thin, Wolf.Copy !req
443. You said the old lady
was already tied up.Copy !req
444. - How did that happen?
- I don't know,Copy !req
445. maybe to make herself look innocent.Copy !req
446. I just write the news, chief,
I don't make it.Copy !req
447. For a reporter, you have
a strange way of doing your job.Copy !req
448. What can I say?
I was raised by wolves.Copy !req
449. - Got a way to back this up?
- I got these pictures developed.Copy !req
450. That so? Let's have a look.Copy !req
451. These are good.Copy !req
452. Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.Copy !req
453. I wanna do a gallery show.
A coffee table book.Copy !req
454. I don't drink coffee.
A Chai tea latte book.Copy !req
455. Photos don't lie, chief.Copy !req
456. Good work, Twitchy.Copy !req
457. Now, I want to know more
about this fellow with the ax.Copy !req
458. How does he fit into all of this?Copy !req
459. Maybe you should
"ax" him yourself.Copy !req
460. You see? "Ax" him? He was saying...Copy !req
461. I'll bring him in.Copy !req
462. Hmm. Hello.Copy !req
463. My, my. You're a big fellow, aren't you?Copy !req
464. - Shop at the Big and Tall store?
- This is a big and tall mistake.Copy !req
465. I would not hurt a butterfly.Copy !req
466. Then what's this? A letter opener?Copy !req
467. That's a funny accent
you got there, choppy.Copy !req
468. I can do the cowboy accent.
Howdy, partner!Copy !req
469. Indeed you can.Copy !req
470. Say, before you ride off
into the sunset, hopalong,Copy !req
471. you think you could
rustle up information?Copy !req
472. I will do my best.Copy !req
473. How about explaining what
you were doing in the forest?Copy !req
474. Oh! I am working
to make good my call-back!Copy !req
475. Your what-what?Copy !req
476. Paul's Bunion Cream
has a soothing formulaCopy !req
477. to make the bunions
head for the hills!Copy !req
478. - This guy's a loon.
- Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.Copy !req
479. Your call-back.
You mean, like, for an audition?Copy !req
480. Yes! For the bunion cream.Copy !req
481. I must find my wood-cutting self
to book the spot.Copy !req
482. - The what?
- The commercial.Copy !req
483. - He's an actor.
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
484. Paul's Bunion Cream
has the soothing formula...Copy !req
485. No, hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
486. Stop. "Arghh"?Copy !req
487. What are you, some kind
of German pirate or something?Copy !req
488. I just got the script,
like, five minutes ago.Copy !req
489. - You're not getting it.
- I'm trying.Copy !req
490. - My name Kirk.
- Kirk. OK, Kirk.Copy !req
491. What makes you feel proud
and strong and mighty?Copy !req
492. What puts a fire
in your belly, Steven?Copy !req
493. - Oh! My dream!
- Yes, yes! Your dream!Copy !req
494. To travel the worldCopy !req
495. with the greatest singing group
of all time...Copy !req
496. the Happy Yodelers!Copy !req
497. Sorry.Copy !req
498. Listen. We'll look at your tape
and we'll give you a call, OK?Copy !req
499. Thanks for coming in.
Have a nice life. Next!Copy !req
500. That was
my first audition in months.Copy !req
501. Then it was back to my day job.Copy !req
502. I drive a schnitzel truck.Copy !req
503. It's not such a bad job.Copy !req
504. After all, I bring much joy
to the childrenlCopy !req
505. Mommy, Mommy!
I want a schnitzel stick!Copy !req
506. Ooh, the schnitzel man!Copy !req
507. Schnitzel!Copy !req
508. What the schnitzel?Copy !req
509. My schnitzel truck,
it's been piddly... piddle-llaged...Copy !req
510. They stole everything!Copy !req
511. Oh, that's too bad.Copy !req
512. It's not easy being in the
goody business these days, huh?Copy !req
513. I'm getting schnitzeled
left and right today.Copy !req
514. I cannot even sell the bunion cream.Copy !req
515. - Now I'm gonna lose my job!
- Chin up, mister.Copy !req
516. Maybe someday somebody
will open up a great big goody shopCopy !req
517. and we can all work
for that little guy.Copy !req
518. Oh, yeah... What?Copy !req
519. - Hello?
- Kirk! Yeah, baby, listen.Copy !req
520. We got the client here,
we looked at your tape,Copy !req
521. and we think we might have a real
"Hercules goes bananas" angle on this.Copy !req
522. - So we want you to come back in.
- Come back in?Copy !req
523. It's a call-back.Copy !req
524. I had always heard
about call-backs,Copy !req
525. but I had never gotten onelCopy !req
526. A call-back?Copy !req
527. Ahh! What do I do?Copy !req
528. You come back tomorrow,
do the same you did today,Copy !req
529. only this time you do it good.
Can you handle that?Copy !req
530. - I will. I can do it!
- OK.Copy !req
531. Now, I want you
to go out into the wildCopy !req
532. and I want you to find that
tree-chopping side of yourself.Copy !req
533. You find your inner woodsman, Curtis.Copy !req
534. Don't act like a woodsman,
be a woodsman. Got it?Copy !req
535. Yes, I can!Copy !req
536. Find an ax, start swinging, OK?Copy !req
537. I've gotta be in a circle wipe
across town, but I'll see you at 10:00.Copy !req
538. I have to go
and find the little woodsman...Copy !req
539. in me!Copy !req
540. OK. Well, tell him I said hello.Copy !req
541. Goodbye!Copy !req
542. Hup, hup!Copy !req
543. Sorry, little birds!Copy !req
544. Run!Copy !req
545. I had done itlCopy !req
546. I had found
the little woodsman inside of melCopy !req
547. Yes.Copy !req
548. Paul's... Bunion...Copy !req
549. Cream...Copy !req
550. has the soothing formula...Copy !req
551. to make your bunions...Copy !req
552. head for the hills!Copy !req
553. Right!Copy !req
554. bunion...Copy !req
555. cream...Copy !req
556. has the soothing...Copy !req
557. formula...Copy !req
558. Hello?Copy !req
559. Oh, schnitzel!Copy !req
560. I'm taking Granny down,
and you're next!Copy !req
561. So you didn't jump through
the window, you were pushed?Copy !req
562. - Yes.
- By a tree.Copy !req
563. Yes.Copy !req
564. Because you were pretending
to be a woodsman.Copy !req
565. - That's right!
- To sell foot cream.Copy !req
566. I got the call-back!Copy !req
567. And good for you.Copy !req
568. Well, I think it's safe to say
that our thespian friend hereCopy !req
569. knows the least about anything
of anyone in this room.Copy !req
570. Exactly! What does that mean?Copy !req
571. That it all points to Granny.Copy !req
572. What about it, Granny?Copy !req
573. Maybe you're not the sweet goody-maker
everyone thinks you are.Copy !req
574. Are you stealing recipes
to protect your sugar-coated kingdom?Copy !req
575. Oh, no, Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
576. The only crime I've ever committedCopy !req
577. is making my goodies
unlawfully delicious!Copy !req
578. My granny doesn't keep secrets.Copy !req
579. And even if she did,
she'd tell me about it.Copy !req
580. We tell each other everything.
Right, Granny?Copy !req
581. Sure, dear. Mostly.Copy !req
582. - Mostly?
- What are you hiding, old girl?Copy !req
583. My family worries too much.
I didn't want them to find out.Copy !req
584. - Find out what?
- Yeah. What?Copy !req
585. Hey, chief!Copy !req
586. Check this out!Copy !req
587. When did they make that a sport?Copy !req
588. I noticed you have three G's
tattooed on the back of your neck.Copy !req
589. That's appropriate, since there
are three strikes against you.Copy !req
590. It's true.Copy !req
591. I'm not like other grannies.Copy !req
592. I never did like the quilting bees
and the bingo parlors.Copy !req
593. I'd rather live life to the extreme.Copy !req
594. A trip up the mountain
is too dangerous for a little girl.Copy !req
595. I'm not so little anymore.Copy !req
596. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes
there, and everything will be fine.Copy !req
597. - But...
- I have to go now. My program's on.Copy !req
598. Kisses.Copy !req
599. Time to shred some powder!Copy !req
600. I didn't have time
for Red to visit today.Copy !req
601. I was on my way to the big
Xtreme Dream Snowsports Competition.Copy !req
602. I've been training
three months for this one.Copy !req
603. Nothing but solid snow,Copy !req
604. and the top maniacs are here
to teach this mountain a lesson.Copy !req
605. - Triple G, what's up, baby?
- Granny, what's happening?Copy !req
606. What up, my homeys?
You ready to get spanked?Copy !req
607. So, what's the dizzo, grizzo?
You ready to floss that hill, playa?Copy !req
608. - Fo' shizzle!
- Yeah, gimme some love.Copy !req
609. G, you checking the hardcore
European team over there?Copy !req
610. Those guys put the Saber-Tooth Brothers
in the hospital yesterday!Copy !req
611. On the real, it's gonna be
wicked out there!Copy !req
612. You let me worry
about those player-haters.Copy !req
613. Oh, I almost forgot.
I made you kids some snicker-doodles.Copy !req
614. - Yo!
- Tight!Copy !req
615. Yeah, snicker-doodles!
Give it up! Give it up!Copy !req
616. Snickadeedoo!Copy !req
617. Well, what's your name?Copy !req
618. Just put, "To my biggest
and cutest fan, Boingo. "Copy !req
619. And then, like, put some X's and O's
and a little smiley-face.Copy !req
620. All contestants
to the starting linelCopy !req
621. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
622. Be careful,
Granny Puckett.Copy !req
623. Old ladies get hurt on these slopes.Copy !req
624. Bring it, honey.Copy !req
625. Yo, Granny!Copy !req
626. I know you did not just
swing your pole at me!Copy !req
627. - You're little! You're small!
- Yeah? Well, take that, yo!Copy !req
628. - Yeah.
- Watch that skier!Copy !req
629. - Whoa! Look out!
- So it's like that?Copy !req
630. You wanna play now? Get some of this!Copy !req
631. That must have been right about
when Red called me the second time.Copy !req
632. I always forward my phone
when I leave the house.Copy !req
633. - Granny?
- What's that? Who's there?Copy !req
634. - Take that, from Mr. Big Muscleman!
- Want some of this?Copy !req
635. Gotta go, munchkin! Bonsai!Copy !req
636. Oh, you're not so bad!Copy !req
637. - Who do you work for?
- I can't tell you that.Copy !req
638. - Young man, you tell me this instant!
- All right!Copy !req
639. We were hired by the Bandit!Copy !req
640. Who is the Bandit?Copy !req
641. Granny is finished.Copy !req
642. Now we go after
the little red-hooded girl.Copy !req
643. Red!Copy !req
644. 'Afternoon.Copy !req
645. Oh, applesauce.Copy !req
646. It's just Old Man Mountain
showing us who's boss.Copy !req
647. I wish I had a video camera! Whoo!Copy !req
648. Red!Copy !req
649. Granny?Copy !req
650. Use the hood, Red!Copy !req
651. Use the hood!Copy !req
652. Ah, that's my girl.Copy !req
653. I guess it's just one of those days.Copy !req
654. What do we do, boss?Copy !req
655. Sweetie-pie! Sugar plum!Copy !req
656. Boy, that's hot.
OK, change of plans.Copy !req
657. You can be Granny.Copy !req
658. She's coming!Copy !req
659. Wee-dee-dee.Copy !req
660. Hi.Copy !req
661. Granny! It's me, Red.
Is everything OK?Copy !req
662. Yeah, sure thing. Come on in.Copy !req
663. Eventually I was able to use
the squirrel to break down the door.Copy !req
664. Ow! That hurts!Copy !req
665. I'm taking Granny down,
and you're next!Copy !req
666. I could've handled
that wolf myself.Copy !req
667. But then the craziest thing happened.Copy !req
668. Honey, don't look
at your granny like that.Copy !req
669. I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G.Copy !req
670. Or are you the Bandit?Copy !req
671. Awkward!Copy !req
672. - You're being ridiculous, Red.
- I'm being ridiculous?Copy !req
673. You're off living... la vida loca,Copy !req
674. risking your life for some dumb thrills,Copy !req
675. and I'm supposed to stay home
and be your happy little delivery girl?Copy !req
676. - I have a...
- Coffee break, anyone?Copy !req
677. - Yeah.
- Who's got my keys?Copy !req
678. You think Granny would mind
if I went through her garbage?Copy !req
679. - Excuse us.
- I thought you were happy.Copy !req
680. Open your eyes.Copy !req
681. I've never even been outside the forest.Copy !req
682. Don't you think I want more than that?Copy !req
683. Of course you do. You're a Puckett.Copy !req
684. I don't know what that means anymore.Copy !req
685. - Hey, look! It's Little Red!
- No, it's just some kid.Copy !req
686. - She's not wearing the red hood.
- There she goes!Copy !req
687. - Excuse me!
- Little girl!Copy !req
688. How do you remember
all these recipes?Copy !req
689. They're all right here
in this book.Copy !req
690. Every recipe in here
comes from the Puckett family,Copy !req
691. generation after generation. See?Copy !req
692. Now, there's Sylvia Puckett
at the North Pole.Copy !req
693. She found the best hot chocolate
in the world there.Copy !req
694. And there's Emma Puckett.Copy !req
695. She flew cheesecakes
across the Atlantic.Copy !req
696. For as long as critters
have had a sweet tooth,Copy !req
697. Pucketts have been making
and collecting recipesCopy !req
698. all over the world,Copy !req
699. refining them, giving them
that special Puckett touch.Copy !req
700. So you see, Red,
when you put that hood on,Copy !req
701. you carry on a grand tradition.Copy !req
702. It's a big job, making sure
the world stays sweet.Copy !req
703. Huh? What's this?Copy !req
704. Oh, it says,
"World's Greatest Grandma. "Copy !req
705. Grandma, I can read.Copy !req
706. It says,
"Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators. "Copy !req
707. - Granny?
- Listen, munchkin.Copy !req
708. If there are two things
your Granny doesn't do,Copy !req
709. it's lie and play extreme sports.Copy !req
710. - Is it a flush that beats a full house?
- No, that's a full house.Copy !req
711. - It's not my turn?
- I know about houses.Copy !req
712. I built mine out of straw.
I'm not an idiot.Copy !req
713. Am I gonna get to put the cuffs
on someone, or what?Copy !req
714. Remember, Ted,Copy !req
715. pieces of a puzzle make funny shapes,
but they still fit together in the end.Copy !req
716. Boy, you're just full of those,
aren't you?Copy !req
717. We are closer to the Bandit
than we've ever been before, chief.Copy !req
718. The clues to find him
are right here in this room.Copy !req
719. In this room?
That's what I've been saying!Copy !req
720. Are you telling me
we're back to square one?Copy !req
721. Hold on, Smokey.
Where's the fire?Copy !req
722. Timmy, it's Tommy.
You there? Over.Copy !req
723. Am I talking to the wall?Copy !req
724. If you don't have your walkie,
don't talk to me,Copy !req
725. but if you got your walkie, let's talk.Copy !req
726. Put everybody in cuffs.
I'm taking them all in.Copy !req
727. It's what I do,
that's why I'm police chief.Copy !req
728. Timmy, it's Tommy. Pick up.
If you're there, pick up the walkie.Copy !req
729. What are you doing this weekend? Over.Copy !req
730. We've got this place
locked down, all secured.Copy !req
731. It would seem that all of you
came together tonight by mistake.Copy !req
732. Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads
so we could get to the real truth.Copy !req
733. - The Goody Bandit.
- That's right.Copy !req
734. The Bandit's still at large.Copy !req
735. There's been a lot
of finger-pointing tonight,Copy !req
736. but now all fingers point to the Bandit.Copy !req
737. - Not my finger!
- Oh, no,Copy !req
738. you were just out
damaging forest property,Copy !req
739. cutting down the redwoods
we all call home.Copy !req
740. Big guy like you, you could
probably take whatever you wantCopy !req
741. from little goody-loving creatures.Copy !req
742. But someone robbed me!
Have we lost track of that?Copy !req
743. That's right, someone did.Copy !req
744. Maybe a snack food competitor.Copy !req
745. Right, Granny?Copy !req
746. Now, hold on a pea-picking minute!Copy !req
747. I may lead a double life
full of secrets and deception,Copy !req
748. but that's no reason to be suspicious.Copy !req
749. A woman like you could have a lot
to gain stealing all those recipes.Copy !req
750. And that's how she makes
her goodies so good!Copy !req
751. Or she could just be another victim...Copy !req
752. - What?
of a hungry wolf!Copy !req
753. The wolf did it. Talk about profiling.Copy !req
754. Why should we trust someone
who wears disguises for a living?Copy !req
755. - Maybe he's not a wolf at all!
- You got me. I'm a poodle.Copy !req
756. - Just haven't been to the barbershop.
- Is this all just a big joke to you?Copy !req
757. - I just followed the girl here.
- You leave my granddaughter alone!Copy !req
758. Yes, now we get to Little Red,Copy !req
759. the girl with the basket on the run.Copy !req
760. - Where is she, anyway?
- I was just...Copy !req
761. The recipes are gone!Copy !req
762. - Are you saying Red is the Bandit?
- Not my Red!Copy !req
763. Calm down there, Triple G.Copy !req
764. The only thing your
granddaughter is guilty ofCopy !req
765. is flying hummingbirds
without a license.Copy !req
766. It would seem there is
another player in this game,Copy !req
767. someone who's hippity-hopped
his way through all of your stories.Copy !req
768. Yes, there's someone else.Copy !req
769. The only one who was with Red
when she fell...Copy !req
770. - Ohh!
- No!Copy !req
771. who knew a shortcut to Granny's...Copy !req
772. Oh, yeah. In fact, I know a shortcut.Copy !req
773. who fraternizes
with evil ski teams...Copy !req
774. - What's your name?
- Put, "To my biggest and cutest fan. "Copy !req
775. and someone who was thereCopy !req
776. when the schnitzel truck
was schnitzeled.Copy !req
777. What the schnitzel?Copy !req
778. Not the bunny!Copy !req
779. - I knew it. Never trust a bunny.
- Never trust a bunny!Copy !req
780. - Uh, chief.
- Yeah?Copy !req
781. No one's seen the bunny or the girl,
and that cable car left the station.Copy !req
782. I think we need an APB out
on something small and fuzzy.Copy !req
783. I think you're right.Copy !req
784. Get your boys to Red's place.
We need to head off that cable car.Copy !req
785. And bring in a police sketch artist.
No, make it a cartoonist.Copy !req
786. We gotta hurry to beat it down.
Bill, get everyone in the cars.Copy !req
787. Tommy, you can bring that evidence
with you. Let's go!Copy !req
788. - You heard the chief, let's move it!
- Not in the same car!Copy !req
789. Keep it moving.
There's nothing to see.Copy !req
790. - Who's got my keys?
- Shotgun.Copy !req
791. - Did you get any shots of the bunny?
- The bunny? Why?Copy !req
792. I told you to take pictures
of everything!Copy !req
793. Ohh! We gotta get this to print
before it's all over the forest!Copy !req
794. Something don't sit right
in my bones about this.Copy !req
795. - What's that?
- Maybe it's your bones.Copy !req
796. I smell schnitzel.Copy !req
797. What have they done
to my schnitzel truck?Copy !req
798. Why are they going up?Copy !req
799. There's on old cable car station
at the top of the mountain.Copy !req
800. We've got to follow them, boys.
Red's up there. I know it!Copy !req
801. Get down the mountain.
You gotta stop those cops.Copy !req
802. Run 'em off the road,
dangle a donut, I don't care.Copy !req
803. - Tell 'em they're going the wrong way.
- Eezie-peezie! Leave it to me!Copy !req
804. You'll never catch 'em in time.Copy !req
805. Is that coffee?Copy !req
806. I can't believe I'm saying this,
but... drink up.Copy !req
807. We may want...Copy !req
808. to stand back.Copy !req
809. Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
810. Caffeine! Yeah, baby!Copy !req
811. - Whoa!
- Go get 'em, boy.Copy !req
812. What...Copy !req
813. have I done?
- Now the rest is up to us.Copy !req
814. Can I have coffee?Copy !req
815. I don't like it.
The cops are all over the place.Copy !req
816. Forget about the cops!Copy !req
817. We've got everything
we need right here.Copy !req
818. What about the old lady?
If she's alive, she'll be back.Copy !req
819. You just don't get it, do you,
Dolph? I'm done!Copy !req
820. I'm done dancing for the man!Copy !req
821. The Muffin Man and Granny!Copy !req
822. They can both take a hike!Copy !req
823. I'm never gonna answer
to anyone ever again!Copy !req
824. Ah, I just love my job!Copy !req
825. You see how it works, Dolph?Copy !req
826. You prioritize, you set your goals,
you write a mission statement.Copy !req
827. You ask yourself,
"Where do I see me in five years?"Copy !req
828. How about behind bars?Copy !req
829. Red! Oh, hi, Red! What are you...?Copy !req
830. - You've spoiled the surprise.
- You're the Bandit.Copy !req
831. Surprise!Copy !req
832. I'm walkin' out of here
with those recipes.Copy !req
833. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
834. You're a bad bunny.Copy !req
835. Oh, somebody's finally catching up!Copy !req
836. Did you think I followed you around
on your deliveries because I liked you?Copy !req
837. Oh, you best be fearing the ear, baby.Copy !req
838. Is that all you got?Copy !req
839. - Ohh!
- Ha! You hit like a girl!Copy !req
840. Come on.Copy !req
841. And ka-blam!Copy !req
842. Why don't you go home
and cry to your granny?Copy !req
843. Dolph, tie up the brat.
Lesa, hold the book.Copy !req
844. Vincent, get the truck. And Keith...Copy !req
845. Darn it, change your name. Please.Copy !req
846. That's not scary,
and I'm embarrassed to say it.Copy !req
847. Boris. Try that.Copy !req
848. Keith. You know?Copy !req
849. Oh, watch out for Keith.Copy !req
850. - You're crazy!
- Maybe so.Copy !req
851. But I'm top of the woods now, baby!Copy !req
852. We've really grown in the past year.
Nabbing all the recipes was phase one.Copy !req
853. Now phase two is adding
my own special ingredientCopy !req
854. to every goody.Copy !req
855. A little something
I like to call "Boingonium. "Copy !req
856. It makes my snacks a little more...
habit-forming.Copy !req
857. Happy customer!Copy !req
858. Phase three gets a little messy.Copy !req
859. I'm gonna need a lot of real estate
down the mountain,Copy !req
860. so I've gotta blow the competition away.Copy !req
861. Oh, and that's not a metaphor.Copy !req
862. We've literally got
to blow them away. OK?Copy !req
863. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
864. And now that I have
your granny's secrets,Copy !req
865. I'm afraid you'll be taking
the dyno-mite express home.Copy !req
866. Sweet tea and cookies!
We got to do something!Copy !req
867. I know.Copy !req
868. The song was catchy,
but the choreography was terrible.Copy !req
869. OK, listen.Copy !req
870. I have an idea, but we need
to get past that ski team.Copy !req
871. The toughest one is the big fella,
really mean-looking,Copy !req
872. with a fat head and a thick skull.
Looks like a shaved ape.Copy !req
873. I mean, he is u-u-u-ugly!Copy !req
874. Like a big, swollen, overgrown...Copy !req
875. He's standing right behind me, isn't he?Copy !req
876. - Who taught you how to drive?
- Almost hit a squirrel. That was close.Copy !req
877. What's the big idea?Copy !req
878. I could've made road pizza
out of you, kid!Copy !req
879. - What's he saying?
- What is it, boy?Copy !req
880. Truck. Trouble at the mill!Copy !req
881. Is the barn on fire?Copy !req
882. The barn's on fire! The well!
Timmy's stuck in the well!Copy !req
883. Hold on. He seems to be
speaking words of some kind.Copy !req
884. Pffsst!Copy !req
885. You're a delivery girl.
Then could you do me a favor?Copy !req
886. Could you take this down the mountain?Copy !req
887. 'Cause it absolutely, positively
has to be there tonight!Copy !req
888. I'm sorry. What?
I can't quite... with the...Copy !req
889. You got something right there
across your mouth!Copy !req
890. You're an actor, right?
So this is your big part.Copy !req
891. This is the role of a lifetime.
Make them believe in you.Copy !req
892. Don't act like an evil henchman,
be an evil henchman. Got it?Copy !req
893. - Know what you're gonna say, right?
- Right!Copy !req
894. - Mr. Rabbit?
- Dolph! Where have you been?Copy !req
895. You nim-witted Eurotrash with the...
What is that, a ski mask?Copy !req
896. I like that. See, that's scary.
That's good.Copy !req
897. - Boss...
- What? Say it! Spit it out!Copy !req
898. - What's going on?
- Boss...Copy !req
899. Paul's Bunion cream
has the soothing formula...Copy !req
900. Hi there. What he means to say
is that I'm the building inspector.Copy !req
901. - Yes.
- I just need to tap the pipesCopy !req
902. to see if your wiring's up to par.Copy !req
903. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. You're not...
No. You can't touch anything in here.Copy !req
904. Let's walk.Copy !req
905. Let me level with you.
You're an evil genius, right?Copy !req
906. Well, I don't know
if I'd say genius, you know.Copy !req
907. I was asked to join Mensa.Copy !req
908. You got an evil lair in a cave,
that's standard,Copy !req
909. but see, most masters of evil
that we deal withCopy !req
910. are up to evil genius code.Copy !req
911. Are you familiar with the code?Copy !req
912. You know, I'm more of a
do-it-yourself kind of guy. Yeah.Copy !req
913. I understand.
Thinking about putting in a laser?Copy !req
914. I don't know. I don't...
Do you think I should?Copy !req
915. Well, it's standard equipment
for a cave lair.Copy !req
916. I'm not saying you're
gonna zap someone today,Copy !req
917. but you gotta think about the future.
They gotta be calibrated.Copy !req
918. - You gonna do that yourself?
- Well, I... I...Copy !req
919. We should take a look
at that power grid.Copy !req
920. OK. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
921. Wait a minute.Copy !req
922. I smell hairspray.Copy !req
923. Come here, you little bunny!Copy !req
924. Gotcha!Copy !req
925. Get over here!Copy !req
926. Hey, Puckett!Copy !req
927. Little Red's gonna take a ride!Copy !req
928. And there ain't...Copy !req
929. no...Copy !req
930. brakes!Copy !req
931. Red!Copy !req
932. She doesn't trust you anymore, Granny!Copy !req
933. Out of my way, bunny!Copy !req
934. Dolph!Copy !req
935. Wow, that's a... that's a long way.Copy !req
936. - We could take the truck.
- Let's take the truck.Copy !req
937. Yeah, cool.Copy !req
938. They go up, you go down.
Gotta help! APB! Get the bunny!Copy !req
939. - This squirrel ate the wrong nuts.
- English! What's wrong with you?Copy !req
940. Wait a minute. I've got an idea.Copy !req
941. Ah... OK.Copy !req
942. The criminal cannot be found
at the bottom of the mountain.Copy !req
943. He resides at the top
in a cave fortressCopy !req
944. where my companions
are trying to detain him.Copy !req
945. - That's more like it.
- How do we know he's on the level?Copy !req
946. He threw himself in front of a car.
That's commitment.Copy !req
947. No, that's crazy.
We can't get up there in time anyway.Copy !req
948. Hey, chief! It looks like
they're coming to us!Copy !req
949. - Granny!
- I'm coming, honey!Copy !req
950. Grab the hood!Copy !req
951. Hold tight!Copy !req
952. End of the line, ladies!Copy !req
953. - Granny!
- You know what to do.Copy !req
954. Oh, wonderful.Copy !req
955. No!Copy !req
956. Watch your head.Copy !req
957. That hurts.Copy !req
958. Get 'em outta here, boys.Copy !req
959. - No, no, no, no. Not prison.
- Say Parcheesi!Copy !req
960. Not prison! Not for a cute
little bunny rabbit!Copy !req
961. Granny, Little Bit, we got 'em!Copy !req
962. - Not bad for a little cookie maker.
- Thanks.Copy !req
963. I guess I must have had
my eyes shut pretty tightCopy !req
964. not to see how fast
you were growing up.Copy !req
965. You were really something up there.Copy !req
966. I take after my granny.Copy !req
967. Hello, everybody!
Here, we have the book!Copy !req
968. - What happened here tonight?
- My granny swooped in and saved me.Copy !req
969. - And the whole forest!
- It was my Red who saved the day.Copy !req
970. Well, it was a group effort,
spearheaded by myself, of course.Copy !req
971. You'll read the story in tomorrow's
column, but I will take a few questions.Copy !req
972. Mr. Kirkendal will be appearing
in our ad campaign...Copy !req
973. - I got a call-back!
- No, don't talk.Copy !req
974. If a tree falls in the forest,
you'll get three stories,Copy !req
975. yours, mine and the tree's.Copy !req
976. Well, a bunny gone bad
is going away,Copy !req
977. and you'll wake up tomorrow
with piping hot tea cakes,Copy !req
978. same as always.Copy !req
979. Those are piping hot.Copy !req
980. So how about that new
delivery system?Copy !req
981. Well, it beats riding a bike,
that's for sure.Copy !req
982. Hey, did you hear about Kirk?
He finally made it.Copy !req
983. - Wanna see the show with us?
- I'm allergic to yodeling.Copy !req
984. - Now, Wolfie...
- I'm front page material now,Copy !req
985. I'm about to crack a story
about the three pigsCopy !req
986. running a home improvement scam.
Houses falling.Copy !req
987. I got the wide-angle lenses
for those piggies.Copy !req
988. You sure this is the right place?Copy !req
989. - Ah.
- Mr. Flippers.Copy !req
990. I see you all got my message.Copy !req
991. - Glad you could make it.
- What's going on?Copy !req
992. Well, I was wondering if you would
like to come and work for me.Copy !req
993. I could use some fresh talent like you.Copy !req
994. What kind of work
are we talking about?Copy !req
995. You'd be undercover,
on impossible missions...Copy !req
996. to faraway places.Copy !req
997. There's a lot of stories out there
that need a happy ending.Copy !req
998. I'm part of a secret organization
that makes sure that happens.Copy !req
999. "Happily Ever After Agency"?Copy !req
1000. The woods don't
go around by themselves.Copy !req
1001. We fight the bad guys,
swing through the windowsCopy !req
1002. secret-agent-style, right?Copy !req
1003. So, what do you think?Copy !req
1004. Bring it, honey.Copy !req
1005. I always did like happy endings.Copy !req