1. Where's my suitcase?Copy !req
2. Who stole the hair dryer?Copy !req
3. Miss. Young lady!Copy !req
4. Excuse me. Girls!Copy !req
5. Hey, little fella. Hey!Copy !req
6. Excuse me, girls. Girls!Copy !req
7. Hey, big fella!Copy !req
8. Help me make the beds
in the living room.Copy !req
9. Come on down here!Copy !req
10. Hey, son!Copy !req
11. Big fella.
Hey, little guy! Little guy!Copy !req
12. Pete's brother
and his family are here.Copy !req
13. Trish is going to Montreal.Copy !req
14. Montreal? Oh, her family's there.Copy !req
15. - Then we're off.
- When?Copy !req
16. - Tomorrow.
- You're not ready, are you?Copy !req
17. Uncle Frank won't let me
watch the movie...Copy !req
18. but the big kids can.Copy !req
19. Why can't I?Copy !req
20. I'm on the phone.Copy !req
21. When do you come back?
Not till then?Copy !req
22. It's not even rated R.
He's just being a jerk.Copy !req
23. Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no...Copy !req
24. then it must be really bad.Copy !req
25. No, we put the dog in the kennel...
Hey, get off!Copy !req
26. Kevin, out of the room.Copy !req
27. Hang up the phone and make me,
why don't you?Copy !req
28. This kid.Copy !req
29. Did you pick up
a voltage adapter thing?Copy !req
30. No, I didn't have time.Copy !req
31. - Then how do I shave in France?
- Grow a goatee.Copy !req
32. Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.Copy !req
33. I've got something, pick up those
Micro Machines that are all over.Copy !req
34. Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck.Copy !req
35. He was playing
with the glue gun again.Copy !req
36. We talked about that.Copy !req
37. Did I burn down the joint?
I don't think so.Copy !req
38. I made ornaments out of fish hooks.Copy !req
39. - My new fish hooks?
- I can't make them out of old ones...Copy !req
40. with dry worm guts stuck on them.Copy !req
41. - Peter.
- Come on, Kevin. Out.Copy !req
42. Do you guys have a voltage adapter?Copy !req
43. Here's a voltage adapter!Copy !req
44. God, you're getting heavy!
Go pack your suitcase.Copy !req
45. Pack my suitcase?Copy !req
46. - Where's the shampoo?
- I don't live here.Copy !req
47. This many people here
and no shampoo.Copy !req
48. - Are your folks home?
- They don't live here.Copy !req
49. - Tracy, did you order the pizza?
- Buzz did.Copy !req
50. Excuse me. Are your parents here?Copy !req
51. My parents live in Paris.Copy !req
52. - Hi!
- Hi!Copy !req
53. - Are your parents home?
- Yeah.Copy !req
54. - Do they live here?
- No.Copy !req
55. No. Why should they?
All kids, no parents.Copy !req
56. Probably a fancy orphanage.Copy !req
57. I don't know how to pack a suitcase.
I've never done it once.Copy !req
58. - Tough.
- That's what Megan said.Copy !req
59. - What did I say?
- You told him, "Tough."Copy !req
60. The dope was whining about a suitcase.
What was I supposed to say?Copy !req
61. "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?Copy !req
62. - I'm not an idiot!
- Really?Copy !req
63. You're helpless! We have to do
everything for you.Copy !req
64. - She's right, Kev.
- Excuse me, puke-breath. I'm small.Copy !req
65. I don't know how to pack.Copy !req
66. - I hope you didn't just pack crap.
- Shut up, Linnie.Copy !req
67. - Do you know what I should pack?
- Buzz told you, cheek-face.Copy !req
68. Toilet paper and water.Copy !req
69. What are you so worried about?Copy !req
70. You know Mom's gonna
pack your stuff, anyway.Copy !req
71. You're what the French call
les incompetents.Copy !req
72. What?Copy !req
73. Bombs away!Copy !req
74. P.S. You have to sleep
on the hide-a-bed with Fuller.Copy !req
75. If he has something to drink,
he'll wet the bed.Copy !req
76. This house is so full of people
it makes me sick!Copy !req
77. When I grow up and get married,
I'm living alone!Copy !req
78. Did you hear me?
I'm living alone!Copy !req
79. I'm living alone!Copy !req
80. Who's gonna feed your spider?Copy !req
81. He just ate a load of mice guts.
He'll be good for a couple weeks.Copy !req
82. Is it true French babes
don't shave their pits?Copy !req
83. Some don't.Copy !req
84. But they got nude beaches.Copy !req
85. Not in the winter.Copy !req
86. Buzz?Copy !req
87. Don't you know how to knock,
phlegm-wad?Copy !req
88. Can I sleep here?
I don't want to sleep with Fuller.Copy !req
89. If he drinks, he'll wet the bed.Copy !req
90. I wouldn't let you sleep in my room
if you were growing on my ass.Copy !req
91. Check it out. Old man Marley.Copy !req
92. Who's he?Copy !req
93. You ever heard of
the South Bend Shovel Slayer?Copy !req
94. - No.
- That's him.Copy !req
95. In '58 he murdered his whole family
and half the people on his block...Copy !req
96. with a snow shovel.Copy !req
97. Been hiding out
in this neighborhood ever since.Copy !req
98. If he's the shovel slayer,
how come the cops don't arrest him?Copy !req
99. Not enough evidence to convict.Copy !req
100. They never found the bodies.Copy !req
101. Everyone around here knows he did it.Copy !req
102. It'll just be a matter of time...Copy !req
103. before he does it again.Copy !req
104. What's he doing now?Copy !req
105. He walks up and down
the streets every night...Copy !req
106. salting the sidewalks.Copy !req
107. Maybe he's just trying to be nice.Copy !req
108. No way.Copy !req
109. See that garbage can full of salt?Copy !req
110. That's where he keeps his victims.Copy !req
111. The salt turns the bodies...Copy !req
112. into mummies.Copy !req
113. Mummies!Copy !req
114. Look out!Copy !req
115. How you kids doing? Good?Copy !req
116. Lot of action around here today, huh?Copy !req
117. Going on vacation?Copy !req
118. Where you going?Copy !req
119. You hear me, or what?
Going on a trip?Copy !req
120. Where you going, kid?Copy !req
121. Okay, that's $122.50.Copy !req
122. Not from me, kid. I don't live here.Copy !req
123. You just around for the holidays?Copy !req
124. You could say that.Copy !req
125. - Pizza's here!
- There you go.Copy !req
126. That's $122.50.Copy !req
127. It's my brother's house. He'll get it.Copy !req
128. Hey, listen...Copy !req
129. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
130. - Are you Mr. McCallister?
- Yeah.Copy !req
131. The Mr. McCallister who lives here?Copy !req
132. Good, because somebody
owes me $122.50.Copy !req
133. - I'd like a word with you, sir.
- Am I under arrest or something?Copy !req
134. No, no, no. There's always
a lot of burglaries around the holidays.Copy !req
135. We're checking the neighborhood to see
if the proper precautions are taken.Copy !req
136. We have automatic timers
for our lights, locks for our doors.Copy !req
137. That's about as well
as anybody can do.Copy !req
138. - Did you get some eggnog?
- Come on.Copy !req
139. - Let's eat.
- Come on.Copy !req
140. - Eggnog?
- Pizza!Copy !req
141. - Are you gonna be leaving...?
- Pizza!Copy !req
142. Grab a napkin
and pour your own drinks.Copy !req
143. - Does Santa go through customs?
- What time do we have to go to bed?Copy !req
144. Early. We're leaving at 8 a.m.
on the button.Copy !req
145. I hope you're all drinking milk.
I want to get rid of it.Copy !req
146. - Pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip.
- For pizza?Copy !req
147. Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.Copy !req
148. - You've got money.
- Traveler's checks.Copy !req
149. Forget it, Frank. We have cash.Copy !req
150. You probably got the checks
that don't work in France.Copy !req
151. Did anyone order me a plain cheese?Copy !req
152. Yeah. But if you want any...Copy !req
153. somebody's gonna have to barf it up
because it's gone.Copy !req
154. Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.Copy !req
155. Kev! Kev, get a plate.Copy !req
156. - Passports!
- Watch it!Copy !req
157. No, no. Get these passports
out of here.Copy !req
158. Are you okay, honey? Come here.
Are you all right?Copy !req
159. What is the matter?Copy !req
160. He started it!
He ate my pizza on purpose.Copy !req
161. He knows I hate sausage and olives...Copy !req
162. Look what you did, you little jerk!Copy !req
163. Get upstairs now.Copy !req
164. Why?Copy !req
165. You're such a disease.Copy !req
166. - Shut up!
- Kevin, upstairs!Copy !req
167. - Say good night, Kevin.
- "Good night, Kevin."Copy !req
168. Why do I get treated like scum?Copy !req
169. I'm sorry. This house is just crazy.Copy !req
170. We've got all these extra kids
running around.Copy !req
171. My brother's in from Ohio.
It's nuts.Copy !req
172. How come you didn't bring
more cheese pizzas?Copy !req
173. - Nice tip. Thanks.
- Thanks.Copy !req
174. Having a reunion?Copy !req
175. My husband's brother transferred
to Paris. His kids are still here.Copy !req
176. He missed the family,
so he invited us to Paris...Copy !req
177. so we'll be together.Copy !req
178. - You're taking a trip to Paris?
- Yes, we leave tomorrow morning.Copy !req
179. Excellent. Excellent.Copy !req
180. If you'll excuse me,
this one's a little out of sorts.Copy !req
181. Don't worry about me.
I spoke to your husband.Copy !req
182. And don't worry about your home.
It's in good hands.Copy !req
183. Fifteen people in this house,
and only you have to make trouble.Copy !req
184. I'm getting dumped on.Copy !req
185. You're the only one acting up.
Now get upstairs.Copy !req
186. I am upstairs, dummy!Copy !req
187. The third floor?Copy !req
188. - Go.
- It's scary up there.Copy !req
189. Fuller'll be up in a while.Copy !req
190. I don't want to sleep with Fuller.
He wets the bed.Copy !req
191. He'll pee all over me. I know it.Copy !req
192. We'll put him somewhere else.Copy !req
193. I'm sorry.Copy !req
194. It's too late. Get upstairs.Copy !req
195. Everyone in this family hates me!Copy !req
196. Then ask Santa for a new family.Copy !req
197. I don't want a new family.
I don't want any family. Families suck!Copy !req
198. Stay up there. I don't want
to see you again tonight.Copy !req
199. I don't want to see you
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
200. I don't want to see
anybody else either.Copy !req
201. I hope you don't mean that.Copy !req
202. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up
and didn't have a family.Copy !req
203. No, I wouldn't.Copy !req
204. Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.Copy !req
205. I hope I never see
any of you jerks again!Copy !req
206. I wish they would all just disappear.Copy !req
207. - Where are they?
- I don't know. She said 8 sharp.Copy !req
208. Peter!Copy !req
209. - We slept in!
- We slept in!Copy !req
210. Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy.
I live across the street.Copy !req
211. You guys going out of town?Copy !req
212. We're going to Florida.Copy !req
213. Well, first we're going to Missouri
to pick up my grandma.Copy !req
214. You know the McCallisters
are going to France?Copy !req
215. Do you know if it's cold?Copy !req
216. - Do these vans get good mileage?
- Kid, I don't know. Hit the road!Copy !req
217. Do a head count.
Get everyone in the vans.Copy !req
218. Where are the passports?Copy !req
219. I put them in the microwave to dry.Copy !req
220. How fast does this go?
Does it have automatic transmission?Copy !req
221. Does it have 4-wheel drive?Copy !req
222. Look, I told you before, kid.
Don't bother me. Now, beat it!Copy !req
223. Line up in front of the van.Copy !req
224. Line up and shut up!Copy !req
225. Shut up! I gotta take a head count.Copy !req
226. One, two, three...Copy !req
227. Eleven, 92, 12...Copy !req
228. Buzz, don't be a moron.Copy !req
229. Six, seven, eight...Copy !req
230. nine, 10, 11.Copy !req
231. Okay, half in this van,
half in this one. Let's go.Copy !req
232. Have a good trip.
Bring me back something French.Copy !req
233. There's no way we'll make this plane.
It leaves in 45 minutes.Copy !req
234. Think positive!Copy !req
235. You be positive. I'll be realistic.Copy !req
236. Ma'am. Ma'am.
Excuse me, your power is fixed...Copy !req
237. but the phones are a mess.
It'll take a couple of days to fix.Copy !req
238. - Especially around the holidays.
- Thanks.Copy !req
239. Did you count heads?Copy !req
240. Eleven, including me.Copy !req
241. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two
drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree.Copy !req
242. Hold the plane!Copy !req
243. - Did we miss it?
- You just made it.Copy !req
244. Single seats only in coach.
Take whatever's free.Copy !req
245. I get a window seat!Copy !req
246. - Kids are in coach, we're first class.
- Seats Four A and B.Copy !req
247. Four A and B. I'll take your coats.Copy !req
248. - Fasten your seat belts.
- Champagne, please.Copy !req
249. - It's free, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
250. We made it.Copy !req
251. Do you believe it?
Hope we didn't forget anything.Copy !req
252. Mom?Copy !req
253. Thank you.Copy !req
254. - That's real. That's real crystal.
- Yeah, so?Copy !req
255. - Put them in your purse.
- Frank, I can't do that.Copy !req
256. Just... Put them in your purse!Copy !req
257. Yeah. Fill it up. Fill it up.Copy !req
258. Fill it up, please.Copy !req
259. Thank you.Copy !req
260. Don't you feel like a heel,
flying first class with the kids in coach?Copy !req
261. No. The kids are fine.Copy !req
262. The only time I ever flew as a kid was
in the station wagon, not to France.Copy !req
263. We had to go to Aunt Laura
and Uncle Arthur's.Copy !req
264. Kids are okay. They're having
the time of their lives.Copy !req
265. Hello?Copy !req
266. Mom?Copy !req
267. Dad?Copy !req
268. Mom? Dad?Copy !req
269. Where are you guys?Copy !req
270. Buzz?Copy !req
271. Buzz?Copy !req
272. Buzz?Copy !req
273. Megan?Copy !req
274. Hello?Copy !req
275. Hello?Copy !req
276. Rod?Copy !req
277. Uncle Frank?Copy !req
278. Uncle Frank, is this a joke?Copy !req
279. Megan? Linnie?Copy !req
280. Is this a joke?Copy !req
281. It's only my imagination.Copy !req
282. Only my imagination.Copy !req
283. The cars are still here.
They didn't go to the airport!Copy !req
284. I made my family disappear.Copy !req
285. You're completely helpless.Copy !req
286. You know, Kevin, you're what
the French call les incompetents.Copy !req
287. Kevin, I'm going to feed you
to my tarantula.Copy !req
288. Kevin, you are such a disease.Copy !req
289. There are 15 people, and you're
the only one who has to make trouble.Copy !req
290. Look what you did, you little jerk!Copy !req
291. I made my family disappear.Copy !req
292. I'm free!Copy !req
293. No clothes on anybody. Sickening!Copy !req
294. Cool! Firecrackers!
I'll save these for later.Copy !req
295. Buzz, I'm going through
all your private stuff.Copy !req
296. You better come out and pound me!Copy !req
297. Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!Copy !req
298. Who is it?Copy !req
299. It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.Copy !req
300. Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell out.Copy !req
301. All right, Johnny,
but what about my money?Copy !req
302. What money?Copy !req
303. A. C. said you had some dough for me.Copy !req
304. Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?Copy !req
305. A. C. said 10 percent.Copy !req
306. Too bad A. C. ain't in charge no more.Copy !req
307. Guys, I'm eating junk
and watching rubbish!Copy !req
308. You better come out and stop me!Copy !req
309. He'll call you when he gets out.Copy !req
310. Hey.Copy !req
311. I'll tell you what I'll give you.Copy !req
312. I'm gonna give you
to the count of 10...Copy !req
313. to get your ugly, yellow...Copy !req
314. no-good keister off my property...Copy !req
315. before I pump your guts
full of lead.Copy !req
316. All right, I'm sorry. I'm going.Copy !req
317. One, two... 10.Copy !req
318. Keep the change, you filthy animal.Copy !req
319. Mom!Copy !req
320. What's the matter?Copy !req
321. Honey?Copy !req
322. - I have a terrible feeling.
- About what?Copy !req
323. That we didn't do something.Copy !req
324. You feel that way
because we left in a hurry.Copy !req
325. - We took care of everything.
- Did I turn off the coffee?Copy !req
326. No.Copy !req
327. I did.Copy !req
328. Did you lock up?Copy !req
329. Yeah.Copy !req
330. Did you close the garage?Copy !req
331. That's it.Copy !req
332. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.Copy !req
333. No, that's not it.Copy !req
334. What else could we be forgetting?Copy !req
335. Kevin!Copy !req
336. The captain's doing all he can.
Your phones are out of order.Copy !req
337. We'll call when we land.
I'm sure it's okay.Copy !req
338. Horrible. Horrible.Copy !req
339. Just horrible.Copy !req
340. How could we do this? We forgot him.Copy !req
341. We didn't forget him,
we just miscounted.Copy !req
342. What kind of mother am I?Copy !req
343. If it makes you feel any better,
I forgot my reading glasses.Copy !req
344. Five families gone
on one block alone.Copy !req
345. They all told me
from their own mouths.Copy !req
346. It's almost too easy.Copy !req
347. Check it out:Copy !req
348. All the houses with nobody home...Copy !req
349. have automatic timers
on their lights.Copy !req
350. But I got it all figured out.
Watch this.Copy !req
351. Number 664 will be going on
right about...Copy !req
352. now.Copy !req
353. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
354. Number 672...Copy !req
355. right now.Copy !req
356. Wait a minute.Copy !req
357. 671...Copy !req
358. now.Copy !req
359. And that's the one, Marvin.
That's the silver tuna.Copy !req
360. It's very G.Copy !req
361. Very G, huh? It's loaded.Copy !req
362. It's got lots of top-flight goods.Copy !req
363. - Stereos, VCRs...
- Toys?Copy !req
364. Probably looking at
some very fine jewelry.Copy !req
365. Possible cash horde.Copy !req
366. Odd marketable securities.Copy !req
367. Who knows? It's a gem.Copy !req
368. Grab your crowbar.Copy !req
369. Crowbars up.Copy !req
370. Which way?Copy !req
371. We'll go around back,
down the basement.Copy !req
372. - You said they were gone.
- They were gonna leave today.Copy !req
373. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
374. We have to use the phone, please.Copy !req
375. It's an emergency.
We really have to make a call.Copy !req
376. Please! Our brother's home alone.Copy !req
377. Give us the phone!Copy !req
378. I'm sorry. Thank you.Copy !req
379. I'm calling the police.
Book us a flight home.Copy !req
380. Get change out of here.
Call everybody you know.Copy !req
381. Here's my address book. You and Frank
call everyone on our street.Copy !req
382. Maybe somebody can help us.Copy !req
383. Hello? Hello?
Oh, she'll have to call you back.Copy !req
384. This is ridiculous. Only a wimp
would be hiding under a bed.Copy !req
385. And I can't be a wimp.
I'm the man of the house.Copy !req
386. Hey, I'm not afraid anymore!Copy !req
387. I said, I'm not afraid anymore!Copy !req
388. Do you hear me?
I'm not afraid anymore.Copy !req
389. Village police department.Copy !req
390. I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.Copy !req
391. I'd like somebody to go there. Tell him
that we're coming home to get him.Copy !req
392. Okay, let me connect you
with Family Crisis Intervention.Copy !req
393. No, it's not a family crisis.Copy !req
394. Hold on.Copy !req
395. Larry, can you pick up?
There's some hyper lady on hold.Copy !req
396. - What line, Rose?
- Two.Copy !req
397. Family Crisis Intervention,
Sergeant Balzak.Copy !req
398. I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.Copy !req
399. Has the child been involved in
violence with a drunk family member?Copy !req
400. No!Copy !req
401. Has he been involved
in a household accident?Copy !req
402. I don't know. I hope not.Copy !req
403. Has the child ingested any poison
or is an object lodged in his throat?Copy !req
404. No, he's home alone! I'd like
somebody to go over to the house...Copy !req
405. and see if he's all right.Copy !req
406. You want us to go to your house,
just to check on him.Copy !req
407. Yes!Copy !req
408. Let me connect you to the police.Copy !req
409. They just transferred me.Copy !req
410. - Rose! Hyper on 2.
- Hang on.Copy !req
411. - Hold on, please.
- No, please don't hang up. Please!Copy !req
412. Any luck?Copy !req
413. No.Copy !req
414. - I couldn't get anybody.
- Leslie?Copy !req
415. Nothing but a bunch
of answering machines.Copy !req
416. Somebody pick up. Pick up!Copy !req
417. Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again.Copy !req
418. I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone, and I...Copy !req
419. We'll send a policeman over
to your house to check on your son.Copy !req
420. There's no one home.
The house looks secure.Copy !req
421. Tell them to count their kids again.Copy !req
422. You can't bump somebody or ask or...?Copy !req
423. There's no way I can do that.Copy !req
424. Isn't there a way
if you ask somebody?Copy !req
425. If you said it's an emergency...Copy !req
426. I cannot ask them.Copy !req
427. A policeman's going
over to the house.Copy !req
428. Well, that's a relief.
Everything here is booked.Copy !req
429. Nothing to Chicago?Copy !req
430. There's nothing to Chicago,
New York, Nashville.Copy !req
431. - What about a private plane?
- Sorry. We don't do that.Copy !req
432. The only thing is a booking
for us on Friday morning.Copy !req
433. Friday morn... That's two days away.Copy !req
434. The kids are exhausted and so are you.
There's nothing we can do.Copy !req
435. I say we go over to Rob's, and
that way we can call the police again.Copy !req
436. I'm not leaving here
unless it's on an airplane.Copy !req
437. Madame, we are doing
everything we can.Copy !req
438. If you want to stay at the airport,
maybe we can get you on standby.Copy !req
439. It is a possibility
that a seat will open up.Copy !req
440. - Is that okay?
- Yes. I'll wait.Copy !req
441. - Bye. I'll miss you, honey.
- Bye.Copy !req
442. Don't you get lost.Copy !req
443. Goodbye.Copy !req
444. I took a shower, washing every
body part with actual soap.Copy !req
445. Including all my major crevices...Copy !req
446. between my toes
and in my belly button...Copy !req
447. which I never did before
but enjoyed.Copy !req
448. I washed my hair with adult formula
shampoo and used cream rinse.Copy !req
449. I can't find my toothbrush,
so I'll pick one up today.Copy !req
450. Other than that, I'm in good shape.Copy !req
451. All right! Buzz's life savings.Copy !req
452. I thought the Murphys went to Florida.Copy !req
453. You're one of the great
cat burglars of the world.Copy !req
454. You think you can keep it
down a little in there?Copy !req
455. You've reached the Murphys.
Please leave a message after the beep.Copy !req
456. This is Peter McCallister again.
We're in Paris at my brother's.Copy !req
457. Let me give you the number here.
The country code is 33.Copy !req
458. The area code is 14
and the number is 694-876...Copy !req
459. - Hey, Harry.
- Yeah?Copy !req
460. That house we ran last night,
was that the McCallister's?Copy !req
461. Yeah.Copy !req
462. - Call me in Paris.
- You're right. They're gone.Copy !req
463. - I knew they were.
- Silver tuna tonight.Copy !req
464. How may I help you?Copy !req
465. Is this toothbrush approved
by the American Dental Association?Copy !req
466. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
467. - It doesn't say, hon.
- Can you please find out?Copy !req
468. - Herb.
- Yeah?Copy !req
469. I got a question here
about a toothbrush.Copy !req
470. Do you know, is this brush approved
by the American Dental Association?Copy !req
471. I don't know.Copy !req
472. Oh, hon, you pay for that here.Copy !req
473. Wait, you have to pay for that.Copy !req
474. Son! Son! Hey!Copy !req
475. Jimmy, stop that boy!Copy !req
476. Hey!Copy !req
477. Hey!Copy !req
478. Shoplifter!Copy !req
479. Hey! Hey, kid!Copy !req
480. Come back here!Copy !req
481. Stop it, will you?Copy !req
482. Come here.Copy !req
483. I'm a criminal.Copy !req
484. What's so funny?Copy !req
485. What's so funny?Copy !req
486. Why are you laughing?Copy !req
487. You did it again.Copy !req
488. You left the water running.Copy !req
489. Why do you do that?
I told you not to do it.Copy !req
490. - It's our calling card.
- Calling card.Copy !req
491. All the great ones leave their mark.Copy !req
492. We're the Wet Bandits.Copy !req
493. You're sick, you know?
You're really sick.Copy !req
494. - I'm not sick.
- Yes, you are.Copy !req
495. It's a sick thing to do.Copy !req
496. - We don't need that.
- Don't tell me...Copy !req
497. I can do it if I want to.Copy !req
498. It's not sick. Hey, watch out!Copy !req
499. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
500. You gotta watch out for traffic.Copy !req
501. - Sorry.
- Damn.Copy !req
502. Santy don't visit
the funeral homes, buddy.Copy !req
503. Okay, okay.Copy !req
504. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
505. What's the matter?Copy !req
506. I don't like the way
that kid looked at me.Copy !req
507. - Ever seen him before?
- I saw a hundred kids this week.Copy !req
508. Let's see what house he goes into.Copy !req
509. Why's he going faster?Copy !req
510. I told you something's wrong.Copy !req
511. He looked at me weird.
Why would he run?Copy !req
512. Maybe he went in the church.Copy !req
513. - I'm not going in there.
- Me neither.Copy !req
514. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
515. When those guys come back,
I'll be ready.Copy !req
516. Did they come back?Copy !req
517. From Paris?Copy !req
518. We'll come back tomorrow.
Maybe they'll be gone.Copy !req
519. We better go before
somebody sees us.Copy !req
520. Look what I found in the kitchen.Copy !req
521. Frank, those are for later.Copy !req
522. Do you want a little shrimp, huh?Copy !req
523. Do you speak English?Copy !req
524. Well, is there...?Copy !req
525. - Did you get anybody?
- I am looking for my son!Copy !req
526. No, I can't find anybody.Copy !req
527. They're all shopping.
Nobody's home for the holidays.Copy !req
528. Never mind, forget it.Copy !req
529. - This is so pointless.
- What?Copy !req
530. We're here rotting in this apartment.Copy !req
531. Kevin's at home.
Mom's at the airport.Copy !req
532. - So?
- You're not worried about Kevin?Copy !req
533. Why should I be? He acted like a jerk,
and now he caught it in the butt.Copy !req
534. He's so little and helpless.
Don't you think he's flipped out?Copy !req
535. The trout can use a couple of days
in the real world.Copy !req
536. You're not worried
something might happen?Copy !req
537. No. For three reasons:Copy !req
538. A, I'm not that lucky.
Two, we have smoke detectors...Copy !req
539. and D, we live in the most boring
street in the United States...Copy !req
540. where nothing even remotely
dangerous will ever happen. Period.Copy !req
541. Who is it?Copy !req
542. It's Little Nero's. I have your pizza.Copy !req
543. Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell out.Copy !req
544. Okay.Copy !req
545. What about the money?Copy !req
546. What money?Copy !req
547. Well, you have to pay
for your pizza, sir.Copy !req
548. Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?Copy !req
549. That'll be $11.80, sir.Copy !req
550. Keep the change, you filthy animal.Copy !req
551. - Cheapskate.
- Hey.Copy !req
552. I'm gonna give you
to the count of 10...Copy !req
553. to get your ugly, yellow...Copy !req
554. no-good keister off my property...Copy !req
555. before I pump your guts full of lead.Copy !req
556. One, two... 10.Copy !req
557. A lovely cheese pizza, just for me.Copy !req
558. To Dallas/Fort Worth.Copy !req
559. American Airlines...Copy !req
560. So we have the $500,
the pocket translator...Copy !req
561. the two first-class seats,
that's an upgrade...Copy !req
562. Is that a real Rolex?Copy !req
563. - Do you think it is?
- No.Copy !req
564. But who can tell? I also have a ring.Copy !req
565. That is beautiful!Copy !req
566. They're boarding.Copy !req
567. She's offered us two first-class
tickets if we go Friday.Copy !req
568. Plus a ring, a watch,
a pocket translator, $500 and...Copy !req
569. The earrings.Copy !req
570. She's got her own earrings.
A whole shoebox full of them.Copy !req
571. - Come on, come on.
- No, but...Copy !req
572. I'm desperate.Copy !req
573. I'm begging you.
From a mother to a mother. Please!Copy !req
574. - Oh, Ed.
- Please!Copy !req
575. Oh, all right.Copy !req
576. "Dear Santa, I got a sister last year.Copy !req
577. This year I'd rather have Clay-Doh."Copy !req
578. I didn't mean it.Copy !req
579. If you come back, I'll never
be a pain in the butt again.Copy !req
580. I promise. Good night.Copy !req
581. Are those microwave dinners good?Copy !req
582. - I don't know.
- I'll give them a whirl.Copy !req
583. For the kids.Copy !req
584. Hold on, I got a coupon for that.Copy !req
585. It was in the paper this morning.Copy !req
586. $19.83.Copy !req
587. Okay.Copy !req
588. Are you here by yourself?Copy !req
589. Ma'am, I'm 8 years old.Copy !req
590. You think I'd be here alone?
I don't think so.Copy !req
591. Where's your mom?Copy !req
592. - In the car.
- Where's your dad?Copy !req
593. - He's at work.
- What about brothers and sisters?Copy !req
594. I'm an only child.Copy !req
595. - Where do you live?
- I can't tell you.Copy !req
596. - Why not?
- Because you're a stranger.Copy !req
597. Hello, Kevin!Copy !req
598. Shut up!Copy !req
599. I don't get it.Copy !req
600. It looks like there's nobody's home.Copy !req
601. Last night the place is jumping.Copy !req
602. Something ain't right.Copy !req
603. Go check it out.Copy !req
604. Now?Copy !req
605. No, tomorrow, egghead!
Now! Go ahead.Copy !req
606. "Now?"Copy !req
607. Shit!Copy !req
608. Get the hell out of here.Copy !req
609. All right, Johnny.
But what about my money?Copy !req
610. What money?Copy !req
611. A. C. said you had
some dough for me.Copy !req
612. Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?Copy !req
613. A. C. said 10 percent.Copy !req
614. Too bad A. C. ain't in charge no more.Copy !req
615. What do you mean?Copy !req
616. He's upstairs, taking a bath.Copy !req
617. He'll call you when he gets out.Copy !req
618. Hey, I tell you what
I'm gonna give you, Snakes.Copy !req
619. - Snakes?
- I'll give you to the count of 10...Copy !req
620. to get your ugly,
yellow, no-good...Copy !req
621. keister off my property...Copy !req
622. before I pump your guts full of lead.Copy !req
623. All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going.Copy !req
624. One, two... 10.Copy !req
625. Keep the change, you filthy animal.Copy !req
626. What happened?Copy !req
627. I don't know who,
but somebody got blown away.Copy !req
628. Somebody beat us, they're in there.Copy !req
629. Two of them.Copy !req
630. There was arguing.
One blew the other one away.Copy !req
631. - Who?
- I don't know.Copy !req
632. I recognized one of their voices.
I heard that name "Snakes" before.Copy !req
633. Snakes? Snakes. Snakes.
I don't know no Snakes.Copy !req
634. Snakes. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
635. Hold it. Hold it.Copy !req
636. Let's wait and see who it is.
We work this neighborhood too.Copy !req
637. Suppose the cops finger us for a job...Copy !req
638. and they ask us
about a murder in the area.Copy !req
639. Won't it be nice to have
a face to go with it?Copy !req
640. That's a good idea.Copy !req
641. Of course it's a good idea. Snakes?Copy !req
642. He sounded like a snake.Copy !req
643. Everything's full.Copy !req
644. Everything's full?Copy !req
645. I'm very sorry,
but it is Christmas Eve.Copy !req
646. What about another airline?Copy !req
647. Nothing available.
May I help you get a hotel room?Copy !req
648. - Tomorrow we can get you a flight.
- I can't wait that long.Copy !req
649. I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're doing
absolutely everything we can.Copy !req
650. I'm in your way. I'm sorry.
You've places to go.Copy !req
651. Got a ticket there, good. Excuse me.Copy !req
652. Look, I have been awake for almost
60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty.Copy !req
653. I have been from Chicago to Paris,
to Dallas to... Where am I?Copy !req
654. Scranton.Copy !req
655. I'm trying to get home
to my 8-year-old son.Copy !req
656. Now you're telling me it's hopeless?Copy !req
657. - I'm sorry.
- No. No way.Copy !req
658. This is Christmas!
The season of perpetual hope.Copy !req
659. If I have to get on
your runway and hitchhike...Copy !req
660. if it costs me everything I own...Copy !req
661. if I have to sell my soul
to the devil himself...Copy !req
662. I am going to get home to my son.Copy !req
663. Ma'am, if there was anything...Copy !req
664. Do it. Do anything.Copy !req
665. - I can get you a hotel room.
- What?Copy !req
666. Can you excuse us for a sec?
Can I see you for a second, please?Copy !req
667. Excuse us.Copy !req
668. You got a little bit of a dilemma.Copy !req
669. We got a crisis ourselves.Copy !req
670. Allow me to introduce myself.
Gus Polinski.Copy !req
671. Polka King of the Midwest?Copy !req
672. The Kenosha Kickers?Copy !req
673. - Hi there.
- Hi.Copy !req
674. That's okay. I thought
you might have recognized...Copy !req
675. I had a few hits a few years ago.
That's why I just...Copy !req
676. "Polka, Polka, Polka"?Copy !req
677. No? "Twin Lakes Polka"?Copy !req
678. "Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a.
"Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"?Copy !req
679. These are songs?Copy !req
680. Yeah. Yeah, we...
Some fairly big hits for us.Copy !req
681. You know, in the early '70s.Copy !req
682. Yeah, we sold about
623 copies of that.Copy !req
683. - In Chicago?
- No, Sheboygan.Copy !req
684. Very big in Sheboygan.Copy !req
685. Did you say you could help?Copy !req
686. Anyway, I'm rambling on here.
Our flight was canceled...Copy !req
687. so we gotta drive. See the guy
in the yellow jacket over there?Copy !req
688. He's gonna rent us a nice big van
to drive to Milwaukee.Copy !req
689. Now, I heard you had some problems
getting to Chicago?Copy !req
690. To see your kid?Copy !req
691. My son. He...
We left, and he's there.Copy !req
692. If you have to get to Chicago,
we'll gladly drive you.Copy !req
693. It's on the way to Milwaukee.Copy !req
694. - You'd give me a ride?
- Sure, why not?Copy !req
695. You gotta get home.Copy !req
696. - A ride to Chicago?
- Sure, it's Christmastime.Copy !req
697. Thank you. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
698. You don't mind
going with polka bums?Copy !req
699. No, I'd love to.Copy !req
700. Hey, Marv. Marv, Marv!Copy !req
701. Look at this.Copy !req
702. I think we're getting scammed
by a kindergartner.Copy !req
703. Dad, can you come here
and help me?Copy !req
704. Remember that kid
we saw the other day?Copy !req
705. He lives here.Copy !req
706. If the kid's here,
the parents got to be.Copy !req
707. He's home alone.Copy !req
708. What? You want to
come back tonight?Copy !req
709. Even with the kid here?Copy !req
710. I don't think that's a good idea.Copy !req
711. That house is the reason
we worked this block.Copy !req
712. Ever since I saw that house,
I wanted it.Copy !req
713. Let's take it one step at a time.Copy !req
714. We'll unload the van, get a bite
to eat, we'll come back about 9:00.Copy !req
715. Nine o'clock.Copy !req
716. This way it's dark.Copy !req
717. Yeah, kids are scared of the dark.Copy !req
718. You're afraid of the dark too.
You know you are.Copy !req
719. No, I'm not.Copy !req
720. - Yes, you are.
- Not, not, not.Copy !req
721. You are so.Copy !req
722. Mom, where are you?Copy !req
723. Do you play?Copy !req
724. Do you want to try?
Go ahead, try it. Try it!Copy !req
725. - Excuse me.
- Yeah?Copy !req
726. Hey, nice shoes.Copy !req
727. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
728. Is he still here?
It's really important that I see him.Copy !req
729. He's getting in his car.
If you hurry, you can catch him.Copy !req
730. How low! Giving Kriss Kringle
a parking ticket on Christmas Eve!Copy !req
731. What's next, rabies shots
for the Easter Bunny?Copy !req
732. Santa, hold on.Copy !req
733. - Can I talk to you?
- Make it quick. Santa's running late.Copy !req
734. I know you're not
the real Santa Claus.Copy !req
735. What makes you say that?
Just out of curiosity.Copy !req
736. - I'm old enough to know how it works.
- All right.Copy !req
737. But I also know you work for him.Copy !req
738. - I'd like you to give him a message.
- Shoot.Copy !req
739. Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Blvd.
Do you need the phone number?Copy !req
740. No, that's all right.Copy !req
741. This is extremely important.Copy !req
742. Please tell him instead of presents,
I just want my family back.Copy !req
743. No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate,
Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff.Copy !req
744. And my aunt and my cousins.Copy !req
745. And if he has time,
my Uncle Frank. Okay?Copy !req
746. Okay.Copy !req
747. - I'll see what I can do.
- Thanks.Copy !req
748. Wait. My elf took the last of the
candy canes home to her boyfriend.Copy !req
749. - That's okay.
- No, don't be silly.Copy !req
750. Everybody who sees Santa
has gotta get something.Copy !req
751. Here, hold out your little paw there.
There you go.Copy !req
752. - Don't spoil your dinner.
- I won't.Copy !req
753. Thanks.Copy !req
754. Son of a...!Copy !req
755. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
756. May I sit down?Copy !req
757. That's my granddaughter.Copy !req
758. The little red-haired girl.Copy !req
759. She's about your age. You know her?Copy !req
760. No.Copy !req
761. - You live next to me, don't you?
- Yeah.Copy !req
762. You can say hello when you see me.
You don't have to be afraid.Copy !req
763. There's a lot of things going around
about me, but none of it's true. Okay?Copy !req
764. - You've been good this year?
- I think so.Copy !req
765. You swear to it?Copy !req
766. No.Copy !req
767. Yeah. Well, this is the place to be
if you're feeling bad about yourself.Copy !req
768. - It is?
- I think so.Copy !req
769. - Are you feeling bad about yourself?
- No.Copy !req
770. I've been kind of a pain lately.
I said some things I shouldn't have.Copy !req
771. I really haven't been
too good this year.Copy !req
772. Yeah.Copy !req
773. I'm kind of upset
because I really like my family.Copy !req
774. Even though sometimes I say I don't.
Sometimes I even think I don't.Copy !req
775. - Do you get that?
- I think so.Copy !req
776. How you feel about your family
is a complicated thing.Copy !req
777. Especially with an older brother.Copy !req
778. Deep down, you'll always love them.Copy !req
779. But you can forget that you love them.
You can hurt them, they can hurt you.Copy !req
780. And that's not just
because you're young.Copy !req
781. You want to know the real
reason why I'm here?Copy !req
782. Sure.Copy !req
783. I came to hear my granddaughter sing.
I can't come hear her tonight.Copy !req
784. You have plans?Copy !req
785. No.Copy !req
786. I'm not welcome.Copy !req
787. At church?Copy !req
788. You're always welcome at church.Copy !req
789. I'm not welcome with my son.Copy !req
790. Years back, before you and your family
moved on the block...Copy !req
791. I had an argument with my son.Copy !req
792. How old is he?Copy !req
793. He's grown up.Copy !req
794. We lost our tempers, and I said
I didn't care to see him anymore.Copy !req
795. He said the same, and we haven't
spoken to each other since.Copy !req
796. If you miss him,
why don't you call him?Copy !req
797. I'm afraid if I call,
he won't talk to me.Copy !req
798. How do you know?Copy !req
799. I don't know.
I'm just afraid he won't.Copy !req
800. No offense, but aren't you
a little old to be afraid?Copy !req
801. You can be old for a lot of things.Copy !req
802. - You're never too old to be afraid.
- That's true.Copy !req
803. I was afraid of our basement.Copy !req
804. It's dark. There's weird stuff
down there, and it smells funny.Copy !req
805. That sort of thing.
It's bothered me for years.Copy !req
806. Basements are like that.Copy !req
807. I made myself go down
to do some laundry...Copy !req
808. and I found out it's not so bad.Copy !req
809. I worried about it, but if you
turn on the lights, it's no big deal.Copy !req
810. What's your point?Copy !req
811. My point is,
you should call your son.Copy !req
812. - What if he won't talk to me?
- At least you'll know.Copy !req
813. Then you could stop worrying about it.
You won't have to be afraid anymore.Copy !req
814. No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to
my dad. Especially around the holidays.Copy !req
815. I don't know.Copy !req
816. Just give it a shot.
For your granddaughter anyway.Copy !req
817. I'm sure she misses you.
And the presents.Copy !req
818. I send her a check.Copy !req
819. I wish my grandparents did that.
They always send me clothes.Copy !req
820. Last year I got a sweater
with a bird knitted on it.Copy !req
821. Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
822. Not for a guy in the second grade.Copy !req
823. You can get beat up
for wearing something like that.Copy !req
824. I have a friend who got nailed...Copy !req
825. because there was a rumor
he wore dinosaur pajamas.Copy !req
826. You better run home where you belong.
Think about what I said.Copy !req
827. - All right?
- Okay.Copy !req
828. It's nice talking to you.Copy !req
829. Nice talking to you.Copy !req
830. - What about you?
- Me?Copy !req
831. Yeah. You and your son.Copy !req
832. We'll see what happens.Copy !req
833. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
834. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
835. This is my house. I have to defend it.Copy !req
836. We'll check it out.
We can come back for the truck.Copy !req
837. How do we go in?Copy !req
838. We'll go to the back door.
Maybe he'll let us in.Copy !req
839. Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid.Copy !req
840. Bless this nutritious, microwaveable
macaroni and cheese dinner...Copy !req
841. and the people
who sold it on sale. Amen.Copy !req
842. This is it. Don't get scared now.Copy !req
843. Merry Christmas, little fella.Copy !req
844. We know that you're in there
and that you're all alone.Copy !req
845. Yeah, come on, kid. Open up.Copy !req
846. It's Santy Claus and his elf.Copy !req
847. We won't hurt you.Copy !req
848. No, no. Got some nice
presents for you.Copy !req
849. Be a good little fella now
and open the door.Copy !req
850. What?Copy !req
851. What? What?Copy !req
852. What?Copy !req
853. - What happened?
- Get that little...Copy !req
854. Hello.Copy !req
855. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
856. The little jerk is armed!Copy !req
857. That's it! I'm going in the front.
You go down the basement!Copy !req
858. That smart aleck!Copy !req
859. Oh, boy. That's it, you little...
You little...Copy !req
860. No, not this time, you little brat.Copy !req
861. You little creep, where are you?Copy !req
862. Yes!Copy !req
863. Rip his head off...!Copy !req
864. You're dead, kid.Copy !req
865. Where are you, you little creep?Copy !req
866. Harry, I'm coming in!Copy !req
867. Oh, no! I'm really scared.Copy !req
868. It's too late for you, kid, we're
in the house. We're gonna get you.Copy !req
869. Okay, come and get me!Copy !req
870. Why, you...!Copy !req
871. Now you're dead!Copy !req
872. I'm gonna kill that kid!Copy !req
873. - Marv.
- Harry?Copy !req
874. Why'd you take your shoes off?Copy !req
875. Why are you dressed like a chicken?Copy !req
876. I'm up here, you morons.
Come and get me.Copy !req
877. You guys give up,
or are you thirsty for more?Copy !req
878. Heads up!Copy !req
879. Don't worry, Marv.
I'll get him for you.Copy !req
880. Yes!Copy !req
881. He's only a kid, Harry.
We can take him.Copy !req
882. Shut up, will you? What is it?Copy !req
883. You're missing some teeth.Copy !req
884. Where? It's my gold tooth.Copy !req
885. My gold tooth. I'll
kill him. I'll kill him!Copy !req
886. You bomb me with
one more can, kid...Copy !req
887. and I'll snap off your cojones
and boil them in motor oil!Copy !req
888. 911 emergency.Copy !req
889. Hello, my house is being robbed.Copy !req
890. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard.
My name is Murphy.Copy !req
891. You never know what's there.Copy !req
892. There he is!Copy !req
893. I got you! I got him, Harry.Copy !req
894. I got him.Copy !req
895. Harry, give me a hand!Copy !req
896. I got him!Copy !req
897. Harry, help me. Get up!Copy !req
898. I got him.Copy !req
899. What are you doing?Copy !req
900. Harry, don't move.Copy !req
901. Marv?Copy !req
902. Don't move.Copy !req
903. What are you doing?Copy !req
904. Did I get him?Copy !req
905. Did I get him?Copy !req
906. Where is it? Where is it?Copy !req
907. Never mind that. Here!
How do you like it, huh? You jerk!Copy !req
908. Get that kid, before I...
Get that kid!Copy !req
909. Where'd he go?Copy !req
910. Maybe he committed suicide.Copy !req
911. Down here, you big horse's ass!
Come get me before I call the police.Copy !req
912. - Let's get him!
- Wait, wait.Copy !req
913. It's just what he wants us to do:Copy !req
914. Go back through his fun house
so we get all tore up.Copy !req
915. He's gonna call the cops!Copy !req
916. From a tree house?Copy !req
917. Come on.Copy !req
918. - Out the window?
- Yeah.Copy !req
919. I'm not going out the window.Copy !req
920. Why, you scared? Are you afraid?
Come on, get out here.Copy !req
921. Come on.Copy !req
922. Come on!Copy !req
923. - Come on. Keep going.
- Let's go back, Harry.Copy !req
924. Shut it, Marv.Copy !req
925. Hey, guys!Copy !req
926. Check this out.Copy !req
927. Go back. Go back.Copy !req
928. There he is!Copy !req
929. Hey, I'm calling the cops!Copy !req
930. Wait, wait!
He wants us to follow him.Copy !req
931. I got a better idea. Come on.Copy !req
932. Hi, pal.Copy !req
933. We outsmarted you this time.
Get over here!Copy !req
934. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
935. I'll do exactly what he did to us.Copy !req
936. Burn his head with a blowtorch.Copy !req
937. I'll smash his face with an iron.Copy !req
938. I'd like to slap him
in the face with a paint can!Copy !req
939. Shove a nail through his foot!Copy !req
940. I'm gonna bite off every one of
these little fingers, one at a time.Copy !req
941. Come on. Let's get you home.Copy !req
942. Wow, this is great.Copy !req
943. Nice move, leaving the water running.Copy !req
944. Now we know each and every house
that you've hit.Copy !req
945. We've been looking for you guys
for a long time.Copy !req
946. Yeah. Well, remember,
we're the Wet Bandits.Copy !req
947. - Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T...
- Shut up! Get in the car!Copy !req
948. Hey, come on. Come on.Copy !req
949. - Hands off the head, pal!
- Come on.Copy !req
950. I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.Copy !req
951. No, you're not.Copy !req
952. You're beating yourself up there.
This happens.Copy !req
953. These things happen.Copy !req
954. You want to talk about bad parents?
Look at us.Copy !req
955. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year.
We hardly see our families.Copy !req
956. Joe, over there. Gosh, you know...Copy !req
957. he forgets his kids' names
half the time.Copy !req
958. Ziggy over there,
he's never even met his kid.Copy !req
959. Eddy... Let's just hope
none of them write a book about him.Copy !req
960. Tell me, have you gone on vacation
and left your child home?Copy !req
961. No.Copy !req
962. But I did leave one
at a funeral parlor once.Copy !req
963. Yeah, it was terrible too.
I was all distraught and everything.Copy !req
964. The wife and I, we left the little
tyke there in the funeral parlor.Copy !req
965. All day. You know, we went
back at night, when we...Copy !req
966. came to our senses, there he was.Copy !req
967. Apparently, he was there
all day with a corpse.Copy !req
968. He was okay.
You know, after six, seven weeks.Copy !req
969. He came around
and started talking again.Copy !req
970. They get over it.
Kids are resilient like that.Copy !req
971. We shouldn't talk about this.Copy !req
972. - I was just trying to cheer you up.
- I'm sorry I did.Copy !req
973. Mom?Copy !req
974. Mom?Copy !req
975. Mom?Copy !req
976. Kevin!Copy !req
977. Kevin!Copy !req
978. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.Copy !req
979. Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
980. Where's everybody else?Copy !req
981. Oh, baby, they couldn't come.Copy !req
982. They wanted to so much...Copy !req
983. I didn't fall asleep in the back
and drool all over you, did I?Copy !req
984. - You do drool!
- Shut up!Copy !req
985. Kevin, my boy. How are you?
It's good to see you.Copy !req
986. You're all right.Copy !req
987. I love you. You okay?Copy !req
988. Hey, Kev.Copy !req
989. It's cool that you didn't
burn the place down.Copy !req
990. Thanks, Buzz.Copy !req
991. Wait a minute.
How'd you guys get home?Copy !req
992. On the morning flight
you didn't want to wait for.Copy !req
993. - Oh, no. Thank you.
- Merry Christmas.Copy !req
994. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
995. Someone has to find an open store.Copy !req
996. I went shopping yesterday.Copy !req
997. You, shopping?Copy !req
998. I got some milk, eggs
and fabric softener.Copy !req
999. - What?
- No kidding?Copy !req
1000. What a funny guy.Copy !req
1001. What else did you do
while we were away?Copy !req
1002. Just hung around.Copy !req
1003. Bring your stuff upstairs.Copy !req
1004. Shopping? He doesn't know how
to tie his shoe. He's going shopping?Copy !req
1005. This is not the Kevin I knew.Copy !req
1006. Honey, what's this?Copy !req
1007. Kevin! What did you do to my room?Copy !req