Hey Vern, It's My Family Album (1983)

1. Hey, Vern.

2. Guess what?

3. I was just up in my attic and you won't believe what I found.

4. Look at all this junk.

5. My first toy.

6. I had some fun with these suckers.

7. Roger Wilco, I'm hit bad. Can you bring me in?

8. Yes, we can bring you in, Roger Willco on number 12.

9. I see him, Sir.

10. I see him.

11. He's approaching 12 right now.

12. We've got him on radar, Sir.

13. I can hear him.

14. He's coming in clean.

15. He's still got an engine.

16. I just want to tell you, men, you've done

17. a great service to Britain.

18. We can't have Jerry hopping around among the hedge rows.

19. No, we won't have it, not if it takes

20. every drop of British blood.

21. Help.

22. Spider.

23. Medic.

24. Give him air.

25. Oh, stop.

26. Where— I've got cobwebs all over me.

27. I'm gonna be eaten alive by cobs.

28. Heads up.

29. My family album.

30. Boy, I bet Vern would like to see this.

31. And here it is, the Ernest P. Worrell.

32. Family album.

33. Do I look like I have stupid written all over my face?

34. Vern, my— Vern, my one hand.

35. Vern, stop working on that old antenna.

36. I want you to see my family album.

37. There's Worrells from all over in here, buddy.

38. The Worrells practically did it all.

39. Well, here's Dingus Worrell.

40. He came over during the Great potato famine.

41. He later went on to become a yam magnet.

42. And then, here's Corporal Davy Worrell.

43. He was a real pioneer Indian fighter.

44. He once saved a fort from Indian attack,

45. singlehandedly, or with one hand, or all by himself.

46. I don't know.

47. Anyway, he was a sly old fox.

48. He was caught outside the fort—

49. —and the Indians started chasing

50. him across the countryside.

51. He was running for his life.

52. Corporal Davy Worrell reporting for duty, Sir.

53. Yo, Sir.

54. Open up.

55. Non-military personnel approaching fort, Sir.

56. Come on you guys.

57. Let me in.

58. It's me.

59. Awe, come on out.

60. I got women folk from the settlement, whiskey.

61. Got a couple two week furloughs to Tahiti.

62. Uh oh.

63. Golly bob howdy.

64. Look at all them Native Americans.

65. Pale face, open gate.

66. Steady men.

67. Hold your fire.

68. Pony soldiers leave them this morning.

69. Reinforcements arrived this afternoon.

70. Easy men, don't anybody get trigger happy.

71. Identify yourself.

72. I am Chief Running Vern, proud chief

73. of entire Beige Foot nation.

74. Beige Foot?

75. Well, more like off white.

76. More like tan.

77. Like color of wheat.

78. Open gate, pale face.

79. Get free gift.

80. We don't want no free gift.

81. Do we, men?

82. Nay.

83. None for me, Sir.

84. Hell, I don't know.

85. I could use a new toaster.

86. Don't be crazy old man.

87. It's a trick.

88. Well, I never fought the Beige Foot before.

89. Why don't you go lay down?

90. Well, all right.

91. Does that answer your question, red man?

92. Hmm, kind of.

93. OK Captain, have your men sound off.

94. Yes, Sir.

95. Major.

96. All right men, you heard the Major.

97. Now sound off every God darn one of you.

98. One.

99. Two.

100. Was he— was he two or three?

101. O'Reilly, you better be getting your men into position.

102. Know what I mean?

103. Me lads are ready for the wholesale slaughter.

104. They were requesting, Sir, could we be in charge

105. of torturing the prisoners?

106. We won't be taking any prisoners this time, O'Reilly.

107. None of them are going to live through this.

108. Hey Cookie, you better be getting some rations ready.

109. Know what I mean?

110. Yes, Sir.

111. I understand you.

112. I know them boys get hungry after all that carnage—

113. mmhmm— especially that Luke.

114. Did he say, Luke.

115. Uh oh.

116. Ah.

117. I'm scared.

118. I'm scared.

119. I've never been in a real fight before.

120. There's nothing to worry about, son.

121. We got 'em out gunned.

122. And besides, we got Luke.

123. I know.

124. And that's why I'm scared.

125. OK men, pass out them new rifles.

126. Know what I mean?

127. Hey, these are nice, repeaters.

128. Hey, O'Reilly, look that this.

129. Yeah.

130. Looks like you could get your fist down the barrel.

131. Hey, weren't these outlawed at Geneva?

132. I think I'm going to go show mine to Luke.

133. What's the matter, son?

134. You homesick?

135. No, Sir.

136. I'm real scared.

137. I'm scared we're all going to get scalped, and killed,

138. and die in one big heap, and not get no free gift.

139. Well, that ain't nothing to be ashamed of.

140. We're all scared.

141. You, Sir?

142. You're scared?

143. Every time I go up against a Beige Foot.

144. Beige Foot?

145. Well, not really beige, kind of an off white, kind of like you

146. know, an eggshell color.

147. I'm afraid you're wrong there, Major.

148. It's not quite an egg shell.

149. It's not— it don't have that much yellow in it, you see.

150. It's more— it's more like, sort of

151. like that, only not quite that bold.

152. Like color of wheat.

153. Now, what do you know, savage?

154. I suppose you've been to some sort

155. of Native American art school.

156. Besides, you'll be dead soon.

157. No it's more like a—

158. you ever seen winter butter?

159. You volunteers, you settle down in there,

160. every God darn one of you.

161. Oh sorry, Sir.

162. It's just being around all this ammo's

163. got me and Luke and the boys a little overstimulated.

164. As a matter of fact if I had one of them Beige Foots in here

165. right now I'd probably cut his guts up with a rock.

166. Yeah, I'd like to see you boys cut them into scrap.

167. Yes, Sir.

168. And we consider Luke especially valuable to our unit.

169. Yeah, that Luke, he's a character, ain't he?

170. You know, Sir, I wiped out entire villages

171. of Indian women and children but Luke's

172. done stuff that makes me heave.

173. Make you heave?

174. Well, I want you to know I think you are

175. the human scum of the earth.

176. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

177. We aim to please.

178. I can't take it.

179. I can't take it.

180. Luke's escaped.

181. Did he say Luke loose?

182. He chewed through the wall.

183. The nightmare has begun.

184. Uh oh.

185. We leave now, pale face, no free gift for you.

186. But maybe you like us leave catalogue, huh?

187. We be back.

188. And we'll be waiting for you, tan man.

189. Right men? Yes, Sir.

190. They're turning tail and running.

191. We done it, Sir.

192. We hoofed 'em.

193. Well, what about the free gift?

194. Forget the free gift.

195. Let's hear it for Davy.

196. Hip hip hooray.

197. Corporal Davy Worrell, for bravery

198. above and beyond the call of duty

199. in the face of a hostile enemy it is my honor to present

200. you with this medal of valor.

201. Gosh, thanks, Major.

202. Know what I mean?

203. Well, come on, Cookie.

204. Hustle it up and get us some grub ready.

205. So Davy finally retired from the army and Indian fighting,

206. and went on to become both Lewis and Clark,

207. a great bunch of guys.

208. Know what I mean?

209. And this here is Ace Worrell, the famous fighter pilot.

210. His most daring and dangerous mission

211. took place right here in the good old US

212. of A. Know what I mean?

213. What's up?

214. Nobody's saying.

215. I heard the old man say they were bringing in some hot shot

216. from Washington.

217. I've heard that before.

218. Men, the situation is serious.

219. I'm going to turn this briefing over

220. to a man best qualified to handle an emergency like this,

221. a man you may remember for his exploits

222. at the Battle of Muscatel, a man who singlehandedly turned

223. the tide at the Battle of Escargot,

224. a man I am proud to call my friend,

225. a truly wonderful fighter pilot, and a great human being,

226. Lieutenant Ace Worrell.

227. Ten hut.

228. At ease.

229. Men, we've got a problem, a serious problem,

230. a problem only aviators the caliber of you men can solve.

231. Men—

232. —a big monkey has crawled up on the Empire State Building.

233. And we've got to shoot him off of there.

234. Sir, that's not scale is it?

235. What's the matter, soldier?

236. You afraid of a little scrap, afraid

237. you might get your hands dirty?

238. That's the trouble with you wimps, you ladies.

239. One more crack like that it's no more Mr. Nice Guy.

240. Did you hear something?

241. Boy I sure did.

242. A big monkey.

243. A monkey, mind you, is sitting on top of the Empire State

244. Building, our Empire State Building, the one

245. in New York City, New York.

246. I've been there.

247. And he's got a girl.

248. Girl?

249. You mean like a girl back home?

250. I mean, he's got a girl and it's just gone on too long.

251. Her parents don't like it.

252. He doesn't have a job.

253. He has never been in the service.

254. A visual aid.

255. Men, our assignment is not just a simple mission

256. over our nation's largest city teeming

257. with aliens taking our jobs, our money, talking funny, no.

258. No, it's much more than that.

259. The success or failure of this mission

260. will determine the future of all Homo sapia—

261. that's me and you.

262. So if any of you believe in evolution

263. and believe that you are in some way related to this thug,

264. just step up here right now.

265. I didn't think so.

266. We'll come in low—

267. —keeping the morning sun in his eyes—

268. —dazzling the dumb ape with aerial acrobatics

269. not seen since the Sea of Chateau.

270. We'll circle 'round and 'round the hairy ape—

271. —riveting his hairy body with hot lead.

272. But Ace, what about the girl?

273. The girl?

274. Don't worry about the girl.

275. Any one of us can whip the girl.

276. Just swoop in as low as you can to that ape's belly,

277. luring the greedy menace—

278. —with a banana bomber.

279. And as he reaches his stubby, hairy, ape like finger

280. skyward—

281. Look out, Lefty.

282. Lefty, look out.

283. Lefty.

284. Lefty, what's he done to you, Lefty?

285. You— you ape.

286. Where's my machine gun?

287. Where's my little machine gun?

288. Where's my machine gun?

289. Eat lead, cheetah.

290. Bad, monkey.

291. Bad, monkey. Bad, monkey.

292. Bad, monkey.

293. Bad, monkey.

294. Bad, monkey.

295. Bad, monkey.

296. Bad, monkey.

297. Any questions?

298. Yep, the Worrells have had their share

299. of national heroes and national symbols but if you got it,

300. flaunt it.

301. Vern— ah!

302. Vern, that's my great uncle Lloyd.

303. You know every family's got it's dark side, Vern.

304. And the Worrells is no exception.

305. My great uncle Lloyd was the meanest man

306. in the whole world, possibly that

307. ever lived, and proud of it.

308. Go on.

309. Get out of my way you mangy old flea harbor.

310. Can't hunt, can't fetch, can't guard,

311. can't stay out of my way.

312. Oh, Daddy, don't do that to old Spud.

313. He hates it when you do that.

314. It makes him twitch funny.

315. That's it, boy.

316. Back up some old hound against your own flesh and blood,

317. poor starving old gut like me.

318. I ain't got a pair of socks between me and Europe.

319. Ruth— huh, Ruth, is supper ready?

320. Ruth, what are we pretending like we're

321. having for supper tonight?

322. Steak, huh?

323. I was kind of hoping we'd pretend

324. like we had lobster tonight.

325. You know how fond I am of seafood.

326. It's tender though, cuts with a fork.

327. Where's that boy, Mistake?

328. Ain't you called him to supper yet?

329. There he is.

330. Look at him.

331. 6 foot 3, 265 pounds.

332. He's only 8 years old.

333. Watch this.

334. Watch this, Daddy. Watch this.

335. Watch this.

336. Look at him playing.

337. That's it, Mistake.

338. Bust up all your toys.

339. Daddy will get you a new one.

340. Yeah, Daddy is rich.

341. Daddy's rich.

342. OK.

343. Daddy's rich.

344. Watch this, Daddy.

345. Watch this.

346. Watch this.

347. You know I've tried to punish that boy.

348. I've tried.

349. I've whooped on him.

350. I beat him with a split rail.

351. But no, I reckon I'm gonna have to start

352. working on him psychologically.

353. You know, Ruth, you shouldn't have fixed up

354. all these delicacies like this.

355. We're smart enough as it is.

356. Mistake, Mistake.

357. Wait, Daddy.

358. Don't start without me.

359. All right, ready, set, go.

360. What scares me is he's actually gaining weight.

361. Don't eat your steak like that, Mistake.

362. It'll choke you.

363. Eat you some of this lobster you're so fond of.

364. Oh, Daddy, we had lobster last night.

365. Well, I guess you want spaghetti.

366. Yeah, Daddy, sghetti, sghetti.

367. Here, get you some of that Parmesan cheese on there.

368. I'm working on him psychologically.

369. Look at you, Mistake, getting that spaghetti

370. all over your face.

371. Ain't you got any manners, boy?

372. Go on.

373. Get out of here and get to bed.

374. Oh, Daddy, how come I always got to go to bed?

375. I don't want to go to bed.

376. I ain't never going to no bed.

377. How come I always got to go to bed?

378. He's a good boy, Lloyd.

379. No, he ain't a good boy.

380. He's dangerous.

381. As if I ain't got enough stuff to trouble me,

382. the Lord's gotta give me that animal in there to live with.

383. That's it, Lord, just dump it right down here on old Lloyd.

384. I can take it.

385. I've got to get in there, Ruth, and make sure that boy's

386. pretending to brush his teeth.

387. He's a good boy, Lloyd.

388. Mistake, are you pretending like you're asleep, yet?

389. I'm going to work on his mind.

390. You want Daddy to read you a bedtime story?

391. Yeah, Daddy, a story, a bedtime story.

392. Daddy's going to read to you here from the big book.

393. Let me see.

394. Yeah, here it is.

395. This here's from Second Condominium, 6,

396. 7, 3, 5, 4, 2, 3, extension 12.

397. One day there will be a boy named Mistake,

398. born to Ruth and Lloyd Worrell.

399. And he will catch mumps and measles again, and catch

400. on fire, and fall off the edge of the world,

401. and mash his fingers, and die before he is twelve.

402. Nighty night, Mistake.

403. Daddy?

404. What?

405. You wanna rock me to sleep?

406. Oh, all right.

407. Here Daddy, use my rock.

408. I'm working on his mind.

409. Vernon, when are you going to give it up?

410. You can't fix this old TV.

411. You ought to let me have a crack at it.

412. I've got a real talent for electricity.

413. And speaking of talent, this is my cousin,

414. Billy Boogie Worrell, most talented man in our family,

415. a real celebrity.

416. As we speak Vern, he is at the helm

417. of a gargantic entertainment complex.

418. Know what I mean?

419. Now let's dance.

420. When reality recedes in a blur of blinding

421. speed leaving your earthly body behind leaving

422. you to skate with your mind.

423. Boogie.

424. Feel the boogie begin and rush from way down deep within.

425. Come on kids.

426. Billy's hip but remember I'm the Captain of this ship.

427. Just hang on tight and don't die of fright.

428. Captain Billy's gonna take you out of sight.

429. Oh, youngsters.

430. Eww, he's plastered.

431. Creeper, get away.

432. What a scuzz.

433. Wrap your little fingers around the bars.

434. Then you better wish upon a star because Captain Billy's gonna

435. make you sicker than you are.

436. Boogie.

437. Young man.

438. Want a ride, something fast enough to strip your hide?

439. But we both have terrible heart conditions.

440. Never too young, never too old.

441. There's no age limit to the bold.

442. But his heart.

443. But my condition would never allow—

444. Don't worry, mama, Billy's hip but remember

445. I'm the Captain of this ship.

446. Just hang on tight.

447. And don't die of fright.

448. Captain Billy's gonna take you out of sight.

449. Boogie.

450. Hello.

451. Hello.

452. Right this way, sweet Madonna of the midway.

453. Let Billy make you boogie all along.

454. Hold the phone.

455. I'm a crazy dancer, a mad dog handler.

456. Enjoy joy your ride, Sir, on the Scrambler.

457. Uh.

458. Boogie.

459. Uh uh.

460. This is your Captain speaking.

461. Today we'll be flying at an altitude

462. of tropospheric proportions.

463. No.

464. No.

465. We're going too fast for Herbert.

466. At a velocity of mach cubed.

467. So put on your high heeled sneakers.

468. Well healed?

469. Did he say well healed?

470. Boogie.

471. Ah.

472. Feel the boogie rush begin from way down deep within.

473. Billy Boogie's gonna take you there.

474. You're gonna feel like your floating on air.

475. Hear your heart begin to pound to the deadly disco sound.

476. Boogie.

477. Yeah, Boogie.

478. Uh huh.

479. Boogie, babe.

480. You can't stop this man.

481. He's gotta dance.

482. Let's do it some more.

483. Come on.

484. Take a chance.

485. Let Billy Boogie show you how to roll.

486. Yeah.

487. Boogie.

488. Hello.

489. Yeah. Hi, hon.

490. Uh, sure.

491. I don't mind a TV dinner.

492. Could you thaw 'em this time?

493. Yeah, yams are good.

494. They're a better veal.

495. Mama.

496. I don't care what you found in his room.

497. Well, kill it.

498. Just a minute, would ya?

499. Boogie.

500. Yep.

501. Oh, I don't know, 20 minutes.

502. Loaf of bread?

503. OK.

504. OK, bye honey.

505. Slide to the left and slide to the right.

506. Let your mind slide clean out of sight.

507. Just relax, and leave your body behind.

508. Boogie.

509. Awe, let's dance.

510. Yeah, Billy Boogie Worrell has taken you to the top

511. but, sad but true, even good things must stop.

512. Thank you for flying Scrambler Airways with Captain Billy.

513. I always reach my destination with a great deal

514. of stimulation.

515. Boogie.

516. Do not leave your seats before the spinning beast

517. has come to a halt. And please exit left

518. as you come out of the octopus.

519. And tell all your little gal friends Billy Boogie is back.

520. Boogie.

521. Well, there's your problem right there, Vern.

522. See that little wire down there.

523. It's got a short in it.

524. This one, Vern.

525. This one right here.

526. My Daddy's got the other glove.

527. Boy Vern, this sure is a slow game.

528. I'd rather be playing cards.

529. And speaking of playing cards, my great grandaddy,

530. Rhetch Worrell.

531. He was card player, won and lost vast sums on the Mississippi,

532. sometimes just at the turn of a card.

533. I'll see that.

534. And raise you Verna.

535. They've been—

536. —going together for—

537. —three years.

538. Oh, I fold.

539. I don't have a woman.

540. Are we to believe, Sir, that you

541. are a light in your loafers?

542. Say, can I go home and get my sister?

543. You know the rules, table stakes.

544. Oh, well, maybe we could get my wife and put her in the pot

545. and don't tell her.

546. And what if you'd lost her?

547. You tell her.

548. How rude.

549. Oh, that was nothing.

550. Now that leaves you and me, Mr. Rhetch Worrell.

551. What's it going to be?

552. I trust my credit is good here, Sir.

553. I'll see your woman and call you, Sir.

554. Hold it, there.

555. I believe a full boat—

556. Das boat.

557. —beats triplets.

558. Your word would have been sufficient, Sir.

559. Rhetch, I'm glad you won.

560. Just one more hand, Worrell.

561. Just you and me.

562. This time we gonna raise the stakes.

563. Or are you just a fraidy cat.

564. Fraidy cat?

565. Well, Sir, I consider that an insult.

566. No Worrell has ever been called a fraidy cat, to my knowledge.

567. Thank you, my dear.

568. Fruit cake, fritter brain, no, no Worrell has

569. ever been called a fraidy cat.

570. All right, Worrell, I'll put up my saloon

571. and all my dance hall girls just to win Verna back.

572. No gentleman would refuse.

573. Have it your way, fat man.

574. Rhetch, you can beat him.

575. Stick with me, Verna, and you'll

576. be wearing buffalo chips as big as diamonds.

577. Good luck, Rhetch.

578. Card, Sir?

579. No, thank you, Sir.

580. I'm just fine the way I am.

581. He's got a straight.

582. Maybe a straight flush.

583. Maybe a royal flush.

584. Could be nothing.

585. 3.

586. He's got a pair.

587. Working on a full house.

588. Maybe he'll draw four of a kind.

589. Could be nothing.

590. Well, Rhetch, look like Verna won't

591. have to move things after all.

592. For the saloon and all the dance hall girls,

593. beat a pair of Queens and a pair of bullets.

594. Well, come on.

595. Show your cards.

596. It's a straight.

597. Or a flush.

598. Or a royal flush.

599. Ah, it's nothing.

600. Come on, Worrell.

601. - A straight.

602. Full house.

603. Four of a kind.

604. Come on, Worrell.

605. You're bluffing.

606. I can't believe it.

607. Who could have ever thought?

608. It's, it's—

609. Nothing.

610. A 10, a queen, a 7, a 2, and a 4, all different suits.

611. That's right.

612. It's a terrible hand.

613. But you know what they say, them's the grits.

614. Rhetch, you idiot.

615. You left with nothing, no raises, nothing.

616. Well, you know, Verna, life is kind of like a card game.

617. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

618. But you know I could have sworn the noble flush beat

619. three of a—

620. no.

621. No, two pairs beats a full—

622. no.

623. Rhetch, you're so incredibly stupid.

624. Fiddlededee, Verna.

625. Tomorrow is another day.

626. You know, Sir, I was always led to believe that if you had

627. a little gentleman in a yellow hat and a little gentleman

628. in a red hat, especially in conjunction with the red Queen

629. lady with a Q beside her head—

630. My move?

631. Didn't see that, did you?

632. Crown me.

633. And here's me and my grandaddy.

634. I loved old Pop.

635. He'd been everywhere and done everything

636. all at the same time.

637. Hey, Pop.

638. Wake up, Pop.

639. Come on, Pop.

640. Wake up.

641. Look out, that redhead's got a gun.

642. Look out.

643. Another gunner's left over there.

644. Let's go fishing, Pop.

645. —And you boys over there.

646. Duck.

647. It's incoming.

648. Pop, it's me, Ernie.

649. Let's go fishing, Pop.

650. Oh, it's little Ernie.

651. Come to see your Pop, have you?

652. Let's go fishing, Pop.

653. Well, help me up, yeah.

654. Oh, yeah.

655. There you go.

656. What's that you got there, Ern?

657. One of them little paddle ball deals?

658. Yeah sir.

659. Let's go fishing, Pop.

660. Let your old Pop try this.

661. Go fishing, Pop.

662. You know what's wrong with that, don't you?

663. That string there is too long or maybe

664. that paddle ain't big enough.

665. See if it were shorter it wouldn't

666. take so darn much time for that ball to get in there and out.

667. And maybe that's it.

668. I don't know.

669. Go fishing, Paw, great day for it.

670. I know.

671. Let's go fishing.

672. Do you want to?

673. Yeah.

674. Yeah, huh.

675. Get your pole.

676. Yes sir, that string there is just too darn long.

677. That's what it is.

678. Come on, Pop.

679. Come on.

680. Uh huh.

681. I'm right with ya.

682. Come on.

683. Yes sir.

684. Come on, Pop.

685. Let's go fishing.

686. Come on, Pop.

687. - There you go.

688. Come on, Pop.

689. You know I love to play that baseball.

690. And if it hadn't have been that I'd

691. covered that with my helmet—

692. No, Pop.

693. They'd all have been blowed up.

694. - Come on, Pop. - Oh, yeah.

695. Pop, come on.

696. Of course that was back when me and Harriet

697. was out in New Orleans.

698. This girl Lauren was with him behind one

699. of them Flying Tiger airplanes and changed her clothes.

700. I seen a woman one time, boy, that done

701. damage with a potato chip bag.

702. Did I ever tell you about the time

703. that me and Harriet was in a group

704. called the Andrew Sisters?

705. I was LaVern and she was Shirley.

706. Nah.

707. Ernie, I want to get old Qui Qua

708. in here, my old fishing buddy.

709. But that's his house.

710. Know what I mean?

711. Uh huh.

712. Old Qui Qua.

713. Qui Qua.

714. Qui Qua, Qui Qua, come on out here and let's go fishing.

715. Turn off that food processor.

716. Come on, Qui Qua.

717. Did I ever tell you about the time me and Qui Qua

718. was shipwrecked in Denver?

719. It was my turn at bat.

720. Then I lost both of my shoes or maybe I left them in the back

721. of a '51 Hudson in a soup can.

722. I don't know.

723. That was some good times back then wasn't it Qui Qua?

724. That's when Harriet was in New Orleans seeing a man who

725. had patented a way to make chocolate chip

726. cookies last forever by using baked

727. on enamel and high explosives.

728. Then she took up with a guy who kept

729. a bunch of those old World War I torpedoes

730. in the front of a '36 Chrysler.

731. Did you ever see a gypsy woman take her ring

732. and turn it into a table cloth?

733. Of course that was in '34.

734. You don't remember '34.

735. Ernie, you having fun?

736. Yes, Sir.

737. Well, me too.

738. This look like a good spot to you, Qui Qua?

739. How's the fishing going to be, Qui Qua?

740. Good, huh?

741. Well, all right.

742. Hey, Ernie, see if you can get that little worm

743. on that hook for me.

744. You got it.

745. Oh, you got a—

746. you got a hook in there, huh?

747. Well, here.

748. Let me get That for you.

749. I ain't used that knife there since I gutted that buzzard.

750. Oh, I got one.

751. Ernie, look.

752. I got a big one too.

753. Oh, yeah.

754. Ernie, look.

755. I got— where is that boy?

756. Ernie?

757. I got one.

758. Qui Qua, Qui Qua, come here I got one.

759. It's a big one too.

760. Oh, I ain't had one like this since—

761. oh, he's a fighter.

762. Oh, Qui Qua.

763. Oh, yeah.

764. Oh, Lord.

765. Lock me in there quick.

766. Oh.

767. Look, Ernie.

768. I got one.

769. Where'd Ernie go?

770. Oh, Lord.

771. Qui—

772. You got a—

773. Oh, Lord.

774. Ernie, where are ya?

775. Look, I've got one.

776. Get that chair, Qui Qua.

777. Oh, yeah.

778. Ernie, it's pulling me in.

779. Aw, hurry up.

780. It's taking me in.

781. Oh, Lord.

782. Reel him in.

783. Oh, it's a monster, ain't it?

784. Oh, boy.

785. Qui Qua.

786. Hold on, Qui—

787. See, I still got the scar.

788. That's just the way it happened.

789. You know, Vern, since me and you are such pals, such buddies,

790. almost like brothers, I think you

791. ought to be in my family album with the rest of my loved ones.

792. Now hold still because I'm gonna take your picture.

793. Say, smile.

794. It's one of these new 10 second jobs.

795. You know Vern, I didn't realize you had a kind of a—

796. you know it looks like—

797. look at this, you—

798. no.

799. Edna.

800. Well, anyway that's when that blonde that was a naughty spy

801. had run away from where they had her in prison

802. and made a small fortune in Naugahyde lingerie.

803. We made her move to Toronto and sent

804. Harriet up there to feed her.

805. That's back when Harriet crash landed that Flying Tiger

806. airplane in the parking lot of the First National

807. Bank of Billings, Montana and caught a strange virus that she

808. gave to Qui Qua, and he took to London,

809. and traded it for the '36 Chrysler.

810. Then we seen Carol Laurens.

811. I was sitting on an I beam and open my lunchbox

812. and inside was a piece of the great white buffalo.