Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002)

1. I'm telling you, Arnold, your ball is flat.

2. It's not flat. It's just a little low on air.

3. Like I said, your ball is flat.

4. I can't believe we let those fifth graders beat us.

5. - The thing is we tried our best. - We got our buns whupped.

6. Come on, we had fun. And we almost beat 'em.

7. Why do you always have to look on the bright side?

8. Somebody has to.

9. - Mr. Green, what's going on? - It's Scheck.

10. He wants to knock down the whole neighborhood and put up a fancy mall.

11. Who's Scheck?

12. The plan, approved by the mayor moments ago,

13. would allow Future Tech Industries to redevelop

14. a six-square-block area between 33rd and 39th Streets.

15. I understand the president and CEO of Future Tech Industries,

16. Mr. Scheck, is about to make a statement.

17. I'm delighted at the mayor's support of our renewal plan.

18. Nice suit.

19. I am behind Mr. Scheck's project 100%.

20. Although some of you may have concerns

21. about how this plan will impact your homes and businesses,

22. I assure you, change is good.

23. This plan represents the end of urban decay,

24. the end of your broken-down shops and apartment buildings,

25. the end of antiquated and dilapidated storefronts.

26. It's time for a new world. Out with the old, in with the new.

27. What's wrong with old things? Some are great.

28. - Yeah, like Mrs. Vitello. - Whippersnapper.

29. The city council are against it, but the mayor's lettin' him do it.

30. - I never figured he'd pull it off. - What does it mean?

31. They want us to move away so Scheck's corporation can move in.

32. - No! - No way!

33. It's time to put the past behind us.

34. I have seen the future, and it's Future Tech Industries.

35. - But this is our neighborhood! - They can't just tear it down.

36. This is our neighborhood

37. How can they tear it down?

38. How can they turn our smile

39. Into a frown?

40. We may be just a few

41. But if me and you and you

42. No. No singing, Eugene.

43. I thought the occasion called for it.

44. We may be just a few...

45. No. This is serious.

46. Oh, my...

47. We can't take this lying down. We should do something.

48. Yeah, but what can we do?

49. We can refuse to sell our houses.

50. Sign a petition!

51. This is our neighborhood and we're not giving it up without a fight!

52. Arnold! What an annoying little goody two-shoes.

53. What a dopey little dreamer. What a corny little cornball.

54. Always trying to get everyone to look on the bright side.

55. How I despise him. And yet...

56. I love him. I love his unerring sense of right and wrong.

57. I love his insistence on the needs of the many over the needs of the few.

58. I love most how his hair smells up close,

59. then he looks at me and I make an excuse for being so close.

60. Then I insult him to cover up the secret, adoring feelings

61. which I have so long and painfully harbored.

62. Arnold...

63. - Mr. Green can write the petition. - Say no more. I'm already on it.

64. If only I had the guts to tell you.

65. If only I weren't such a coward and had your strength.

66. We'll get everybody to sign.

67. What if you lose and the neighborhood is torn down,

68. you move away and we never see each other again,

69. and I never tell you how I really feel about you?

70. Arnold, how I love you.

71. Dad!

72. - How's it going, Miriam? - Molasses, it's you.

73. - Great, but where does the store go? - Here. Big Bob's Beeper Emporium.

74. Big sign, can't miss it, and the overpass drops you right in the parkin' lot.

75. - That's good. Right in the stinkin' lot. - Dad?

76. - What, Olga? - It's Helga, Dad.

77. - That's what I said. - Could we talk?

78. - We gotta split. We'll talk. - Right.

79. Send me the paperwork. I can't wait to start.

80. - Can I keep this pop-up thing? - You got it.

81. Know what this is? It's our future.

82. Here's where my new Super Beeper Emporium is gonna go up,

83. right after we rip down the flower shop, Green Meats and the rest.

84. Yeah, about all that... Lots of people will have to sell up and move.

85. What's your point?

86. I was just wondering if this whole tear-down-the-neighborhood

87. Future Tech thing is really necessary.

88. It's more than necessary. It's progress.

89. You can't have progress without pain. No pain, no gain.

90. What's wrong with leaving things the way they are?

91. Leave things the way they are and Big Bob's Emporium doesn't happen.

92. But, Dad...

93. I'll say this once, and I want you to hear it.

94. Change is good.

95. When the new Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium goes up,

96. the cash will roll in and you'll forget the old neighborhood.

97. And do you know why?

98. Because we'll be rich.

99. That means you'll be rich. You can have that pony.

100. - I wanted a pony when I was five. - What do you want now?

101. - I don't know. - Make up your mind,

102. 'cause once my store goes up, you can have anything you want.

103. - Anything? - That's what I said.

104. We're gonna be stinkin' rich, girl. Rich.

105. What's more important than that?

106. - Grandpa? - That's my name. Don't wear it out.

107. - Grandpa, I'm worried. - Oh, don't worry, Arnold.

108. We won't sell up. We're right behind you. Right, pookie?

109. Home team, home team!

110. What if Scheck makes everyone else sell?

111. Then, I guess, they'll bulldoze down the neighborhood.

112. We'll have to move to an old folks' home

113. and who knows what'll happen to you.

114. You'll probably be sent to a foster home

115. in some Midwestern state like Manitoba or...

116. Wait. No, that's not a state, that's a province.

117. No, Arnold! You'll be a Canadian!

118. - Grandpa, I'm serious. - I know, but we're not cooked yet.

119. Whatever happens, we'll all be okay,

120. even if we have to become Canadians.

121. They have very good bacon there.

122. Canadian. Bacon. This thing on? Come on, Arnold. Work with me.

123. Goodnight, Grandpa.

124. - Goodnight, Grandma. - Go, team!

125. Awesome!

126. Release.

127. - What's going on? - You must be a sound sleeper.

128. They've been hammering on it all morning.

129. - Look! - Willikers!

130. - It's so wicked awesome. - It's not awesome.

131. It's terrible. Read it. We've got 30 days to save the neighborhood.

132. Look, it's that Scheck fella.

133. It's time for a ne w wo r ld. O ut with the old, in w ith the new.

134. I have seen the future and it's Future Tech Industries.

135. He sure gives me the willies.

136. But he looks good in a suit.

137. - Gerald. - I know. I'm just saying.

138. Come on.

139. Monkeyman!

140. Yeah, six days to go, and then sayonara, suckers!

141. Six days. Enough time to try maybe one last big thing.

142. - But what? - How about a party?

143. You always throw the most outré parties, Arnold.

144. Yeah, a party. A block party. With music and food.

145. - And finger sandwiches. - And food!

146. We'll have a concert so loud we'll get on the news.

147. Then people would get excited and the mayor will have to change her mind.

148. And she'll stop the bulldozers.

149. - What do we call it? - Save the Neighborhood Debutante Ball.

150. Block Power, baby.

151. - Blockenanny. - Block Till You Drop.

152. It's a Block Thing. Y'all wouldn't know.

153. A Block Party... Party?

154. - How about Blockapalooza? - Yeah!

155. - Blockapalooza. - This Saturday is the day.

156. - Blockapalooza! - Get your tickets while they're hot!

157. "Save the neighborhood"? "Blockapalooza"? This we don't need.

158. It's Nick. I think we got a problem.

159. Blockapalooza. Please.

160. It's called Blockapalooza,

161. a last-ditch effort to save a forgotten neighborhood

162. from the wrecking ball.

163. A classic story of the little guy pitted against the corporate giant.

164. - They'll mess up the deal! - Forget it. It's all taken care of.

165. This is our last chance to stand up

166. and tell Future Tech Industries we won't sell.

167. We won't let 'em tear down our neighborhood.

168. We intercepted their permit, making the whole assemblage illegal.

169. Go, go, go.

170. - What's going on? - This whole assemblage is illegal.

171. - But we filed a permit. - We never got any permit.

172. Disperse from this area at once.

173. - Grandma? - Bring on your worst.

174. - We shall not be moved. - Come on. Nice and easy.

175. Stop! That's a frail old lady.

176. Never give up. Never give in.

177. Save the neighborhood. One if by land, two if by sea.

178. Put the lime in the coconut. Mix it all up.

179. Well, that's it. This place belongs to Scheck now.

180. They've got the cops on their side. I give up.

181. Me, too. I'm selling my place.

182. Goodbye, old neighborhood. I'll miss you.

183. - Selling? - I'll go try and get Grandma out of jail.

184. - Then we'd better get packing. - We can't give up. It's not over.

185. That Scheck character has us covered from every angle, short man.

186. Wait! Where are you all going?

187. Come back. Come back.

188. O ut with the old, in w ith the new. I've seen the future.

189. Change is good.

190. Only two more days.

191. There's gotta be some way to stop the bulldozers.

192. There's nothing more we can do.

193. Face it. In two days, this neighborhood is coming down

194. and we'll just have to move on.

195. I just want to do something. Baby carriage!

196. I see it. Saving the neighborhood isn't a game.

197. It's real life. And in real life, you can't always win.

198. I can win Runaway Bus every time but that's because it's a game.

199. - I guess. - You did your best, buddy.

200. What are you guys doing?

201. Just looking at a piece of history.

202. Four years ago, we made these handprints in the cement.

203. - Sid and Stink? - It only says Stink

204. because just when I was fixing to write the Y,

205. Sid's old man came along, and we had to hightail it.

206. I always thought that made it even cooler.

207. We thought it'd be there forever, but after they tear down the neighborhood,

208. I reckon nobody'll even remember.

209. Yeah.

210. - Hi, Mr. Green. - Look, that was me, aged four.

211. My grandfather did it. He was proud of me.

212. He used to say, "One day, Green Meats will be your shop."

213. Sure enough, my father took it over and then he passed it on to me.

214. That was the proudest day of my life.

215. I always knew, one day I'd pass the shop on to my own son.

216. I guess now that's never gonna happen.

217. Because they're tearing down the neighborhood?

218. No. Because my son hates meat. He's a vegetarian.

219. We haven't spoken in years.

220. Still, I never thought I'd be the last Green to run Green Meats.

221. Another couple of days, it's all gonna be just a pile of bricks.

222. Excuse me, Arnold.

223. - Grandma? - Still in jail.

224. - I thought it was just one night. - She keeps trying to escape.

225. Thinks it's a game. Fourth time they put her back.

226. Hi. Have you seen Grandpa?

227. Arnold, we may never see each other again.

228. Mr. Hyunh, can I help you clean out your refrigerator?

229. - Grandpa, what are you doing? - Packing your stuff.

230. You haven't sold the house yet.

231. It's only a matter of time. Everyone else has sold.

232. Scheck owns the whole block now, except for us. I have to sell.

233. - I can't believe this. - Me neither.

234. I was born in this house.

235. My dad got it in the 1890s, over a hundred years ago.

236. Won it in a card game from a man his dad had fought in the Tomato Incident.

237. - The Tomato Incident? - Yes, the Tomato Incident.

238. Now, that was a good story.

239. The Yanks won rights to this land after the Pig War.

240. But w e still paid taxes to the British

241. on all sorts of goods, including tobacco, meats and vegetables.

242. The whole town was in a snit over a new tomato tax.

243. The Brits were adding a nickel on every tomato.

244. People were spoiling for a fight.

245. - What happened? - The Tomato Incident.

246. My grandpa and his neighbors overturned a cart

247. of British tomatoes on this very street.

248. Soldiers were sent to arrest him by order of the colonial governor,

249. Archibald Von Scheck.

250. - Von Scheck? - I wonder if he's any relation.

251. Von Scheck's men attacked the neighborhood

252. but the locals used guerrilla warfare.

253. They made a barricade of vegetable carts

254. and fought with whatever they had. They had lots of tomatoes.

255. They were British tomatoes, which w ere small and ha r d

256. and r eally hu r t if you got hit with one.

257. Let her rip.

258. That did it. The redcoats we r e in full, ignominious retreat.

259. That's why we eat American tomatoes, Arnold.

260. Although I had one recently from Chile. Very juicy.

261. - Did that actually happen? - Of course.

262. - I sliced it up and put it in a sandwich. - No. Don't you see?

263. - This is our answer. - Yes!

264. Juicy tomatoes from Chile. Why didn't I think of that?

265. No, the Tomato Incident.

266. If that battle happened right here,

267. this whole neighborhood should be a national landmark.

268. There probably was a document that declared this block a historic site once.

269. Maybe I can find it.

270. I show it to the mayor, and she'll stop the bulldozers.

271. They couldn't tear down these buildings ever!

272. Mr. Green and Mrs. Vitello could keep their shops,

273. Sid and Stinky's handprints would stay,

274. and you, Grandma, and me could keep living like before.

275. Nothing would change. Grandpa, don't sell the boarding house.

276. I'll find that document and save the neighborhood.

277. You're a bold kid. I'm with you!

278. But you better hurry before the bulldozers knock down the whole thing.

279. Change is good. I've seen the future and the future is FTi.

280. My Emporium goes here where we're knocking down these old shops?

281. - Right. - That's in the contract?

282. - Absolutely. - There's no funny business?

283. Am I a rat fink? It's all on the up-and-up. Trust me. All you gotta do is sign.

284. Big... Bob... Pataki!

285. Beautiful. It's all settled.

286. In two days, we'll tear down the old and make way for the new.

287. Then all we gotta do is sit back and watch the moolah roll in.

288. - You've got a way with words. - Can I keep the pen?

289. Arnold, another moral dilemma...

290. Stick with Big Bob and get rich or find some way to help you,

291. my beloved, noble Arnold, whom I have so long adored.

292. If only I knew what to do. If only I had a sign.

293. Perfect.

294. Okay, Arnold, you convinced me.

295. Find that document, show the mayor,

296. prove that the neighborhood is a legal national landmark

297. and stop the bulldozers.

298. And we're gonna do it all in the next 46 hours and 19 minutes.

299. - Right. - Should be plenty of time.

300. Arnold! I mean, watch where you're going, football head.

301. Sorry. We're in a hurry.

302. We've gotta find a document to save the neighborhood.

303. If you think you're gonna save it you're dopier than I thought.

304. All the papers are signed.

305. In two days, this place is gonna be a parking lot.

306. End of story. Any questions?

307. Yeah. Do you think you could lend us bus fare?

308. - We're a little short, Helga. - It's like I'm living in Loser City.

309. Since my dad's Super Emporium is gonna be built

310. on the ashes of your old lives, and I'm gonna get rich,

311. I guess, I can give you change for the bus.

312. Thanks.

313. Good luck. You're gonna need it, losers.

314. Where are we going?

315. To the one person that can help us. Mr. Bailey.

316. - At the Federal Office of Information? - Right. I know he can help us.

317. I can't help you. C-A-N, apostrophe, T. Can't.

318. But this is important.

319. So is my job. Look at all this work I got.

320. I have no time to check on a document that was probably lost 50 years ago.

321. Leave me alone. I don't know how you got in here anyway.

322. But if we don't find that document, everything's gonna be torn down.

323. Mr. Green's butcher shop, Mrs. Vitello's flower shop.

324. The video store, the Arcade.

325. How many ways can I say it? I can't help you.

326. Bowling alley. Slausen's ice cream.

327. - I don't want to lose my patience. - Dolly's Donuts.

328. - Dolly's Donuts? - Yeah. That great donut shop.

329. - What did you say? - Just that it's a shame

330. they're gonna tear down Dolly's Donuts.

331. Yeah. Dolly's Donuts. Two days from now, they're history.

332. No more Dolly's Donuts, Mr. Bailey.

333. But I love those donuts. Nobody makes a cruller like Dolly.

334. I've been going to Dolly's every day for 30 years. I couldn't survive without 'em.

335. How can they tear down an institution like Dolly's? That's just savage.

336. - I know. But, hey, what can you do? - Right. See you, Mr. Bailey.

337. Where are you going? You want to save your neighborhood?

338. Come on, then. We've got a document to find.

339. This is it. When the computer stops, it'll spit out a card

340. telling us everything the system knows

341. about where your tomato document is.

342. "The location of your document is

343. "unknown."

344. I'm sorry, boys.

345. - It's all right. Thanks for your help. - You did your best.

346. What do we do now?

347. It's probably not worth mentioning, but I know a guy, the city coroner...

348. He's kind of, well, a nut.

349. But he's a well-known history buff,

350. and keeps all kinds of records on old historical papers.

351. - Maybe he could help you. - Where is he?

352. They look like they're closed. Let's come back later.

353. - We don't have time. Come on. - You first.

354. Hello?

355. Hello! I was just taking a nap. Did I scare you?

356. I scare most people. Not intentionally, you understand.

357. Just the nature of the job. Anyhoo, what can I do for you?

358. The Tomato Incident did indeed happen.

359. In fact, it was a major historical turning point in the birth of the country.

360. What about the document?

361. There was, as I recall, a document stating that your neighborhood

362. was officially declared a national landmark.

363. Not an especially well-known document, but official nonetheless.

364. And I just may have a file on it. I keep my historical records in here.

365. Wrong drawer.

366. Here we go. Tomato Incident...

367. Tomato Incident, Tomato Incident, Tomato, Tomato, Tomato.

368. Tomato Incident! Here it is.

369. According to my records, there was a document

370. detailing the official status of your neighborhood as a national landmark.

371. - What happened to it? - Let's see.

372. It was contained in a collection of local historical papers

373. which were sold at auction five years ago to a private corporation.

374. There's no record of a name, but there is an address.

375. 66613 Riverside Highway.

376. It's out on the peninsula.

377. Going to the peninsula?

378. Don't talk to the driver while the bus is in motion.

379. - But the bus isn't in motion. - Now it is. Get behind the yellow line.

380. 66590, 66600, we're close, Gerald.

381. Future Tech Industries.

382. - Future Tech Industries? - They've got the document?

383. Future Tech has the document that could save the neighborhood.

384. - Now what? - We'll talk to Mr. Scheck.

385. You can't talk to Mr. Scheck without an appointment.

386. - Then we'll make one. - He doesn't make appointments.

387. Allrighty, then. Have a nice day.

388. Right. Goodbye.

389. - There's cameras everywhere. - I think they're watching us.

390. Man, this is creepy. Let's get away from here.

391. - Security? - Yes, Mr. Scheck?

392. There a r e two boys in the hallway, 40 feet from your security desk.

393. - What? Sir, I... - Apprehend them,

394. and bring them to my office.

395. Life is just a bowl of cher r ies

396. We found these boys wandering the halls unescorted.

397. - Without security clearance? - That's right, sir.

398. This is serious, isn't it?

399. We can't have young boys wandering around Future Tech Industries

400. unescorted without security clearance, now, can we?

401. - No, sir. - No, sir.

402. And these small boys just snuck past security

403. and wandered about the building unescorted. Right?

404. - Yes, sir. - Who's responsible for that?

405. Aren't you head of security?

406. - Sir, yes, sir. - "Sir. Yes, sir"?

407. - Is that all you can say? - No, sir. I mean, yes, sir.

408. There he goes again. Why don't you just go now?

409. Go back to being head of security.

410. How many others are wandering around Future Tech unescorted

411. while you stand here like a big, dumb stiff repeating "Sir, yes, sir"?

412. Yes, sir!

413. What can you do with him? He's like a wind-up doll.

414. "Yes, sir. Sir, yes, sir."

415. I'll tell you, it's hard to get good help nowadays.

416. It must be upsetting to be dragged unceremoniously into my office like this,

417. but I can't have boys wandering the halls of my company unescorted.

418. You understand?

419. My name is Scheck. Who are you?

420. We live in the neighborhood you want to tear down.

421. - That I'm going to tear down. - We heard there's a document

422. saying it's a national landmark and can't be torn down by anybody.

423. I've heard about that, too. I had my people investigate.

424. You know what they found? The document doesn't exist.

425. The whole thing's just a rumor, bogus.

426. If there were such a document, I'd never go through with my plan.

427. But it must exist. It was part of a historical paper collection.

428. Look, as much as I admire your thoroughness and direct approach,

429. the fact remains, neither you nor I have the document.

430. So the neighborhood's coming down. Any questions?

431. What if we said we don't buy your story?

432. Security.

433. That went well.

434. Scheck is not a good man. But he's a natty dresser.

435. - What's wrong? - I just had an interesting conversation

436. with two young boys.

437. One had a weird stack of hair, the other was a football-headed kid.

438. Bob, know anything about a football-headed kid?

439. No.

440. I don't know nothing about no football-headed kid.

441. Are you sure? Because there was one nosing around here

442. asking about that document. You know the one I mean.

443. The document that could mess up our whole operation?

444. It's locked in the records room. Nobody has a key except us.

445. I haven't seen a kid like that around, but I will keep my eyes open.

446. I'm not ready to give up yet.

447. You're gonna have to face the facts. There's nothing we can do.

448. - There's gotta be something. - It would take a miracle.

449. - Hello? - The document you seek exists.

450. - They're hiding it from you. - Who is this?

451. - Call me Deep Voice. - Who are you?

452. I can't say, but I can tell you that Scheck is up to no good.

453. The only thing that can stop him is that document.

454. - How do you know about it? - Let's just say I know.

455. - Where is the document? - At FTi in a safe deposit box.

456. - Nick Vermicelli has the key. - But how?

457. Follo w Nick and you'll find the key. I'll be in touch.

458. But wait! Who are you?

459. That is too freaky. I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

460. I'm in. What's the plan?

461. We find Nick Vermicelli. Then we spy on him,

462. until we find out where he's hiding the key to the safe deposit box.

463. We steal the key, sneak in to FTi and get the document.

464. We evade the security guards,

465. then all we have to do is deliver the document to the mayor,

466. who declares the neighborhood a landmark and stops the bulldozers.

467. Arnold, that's a long plan.

468. I know. But we gotta do it.

469. We'll need some special equipment.

470. This may sound crazy, but I've heard of this girl, Bridget,

471. who lives across town, kind of an equipment specialist.

472. - Is this right? - It's the address Fuzzy Slippers gave.

473. - How do you know she'll help? - Because Bridget helps people.

474. That's how the legend goes.

475. - Maybe she's not home. - What's this button?

476. - You shouldn't touch that. - What could happen?

477. Which one of you touched my button?

478. Me.

479. If you're gonna save the neighborhood, you're gonna need some equipment.

480. State of the art. Mini condenser microphone

481. for the ultimate concealed surveillance.

482. Headphones and micro-radar tracking dish.

483. 400:1 zoom lens binoculars with infrared capability for night vision.

484. High tension, plastic wire, anodized steel pulleys and nylon straps

485. for maneuvering in vertically-challenging situations.

486. A two-way secure walkie-talkie for maintaining communication.

487. And a synchronized, programmable,

488. glow-in-the-dark watch set to Greenwich time

489. and accurate within 1/10,000th of a second.

490. It all fits into this cool AS-47 Junior Secret Agent utility belt.

491. How much does this cost?

492. Since it's for a good cause, it's on the house.

493. - I figure it's my contribution. - Great. We'll take two.

494. - Do they come in other colors? - Black or pink.

495. - We'll take black. - What about this?

496. - Why do we need a remote-control car? - You never know.

497. Whatever you say.

498. The neighborhood is counting on you. Good luck, boys.

499. - What are you doing here? - Walking, until you knocked me down.

500. Sorry. We were just...

501. Out playing your dumb secret agent game. Aren't you a little old for that?

502. Come on. We got things to do.

503. What, some new plan to save the neighborhood?

504. - That's right. - Let's roll.

505. Take off those lame shades so you can see where you're walking.

506. Good luck, Hardy Boys. You're gonna need it.

507. My brave little football-headed hero

508. on yet another absurd quest,

509. to save the only home you've ever known,

510. armed with nothing but your best friend and your sporty utility belt.

511. Godspeed, my steed, my only, my love.

512. This is the place.

513. Could you open the door? We need to get out really bad.

514. - We gotta follow him. He's got a key. - The bus stops at the corner of 43rd.

515. Juvenile delinquents.

516. - We're way under 21. - Maybe we can get in around back.

517. Ain't this a great old block?

518. Don't you wish we could r oll back the clock?

519. The w indows we busted The hubcaps we stole

520. The apples we boosted The bums that we rolled

521. The fun that we had violating parole

522. Ain't this a great old block, Doc?

523. Got her.

524. - What are they saying? - So, is the key safe?

525. Course it's safe. I got it right here.

526. Good. We wouldn't want it to fall into the wrong hands.

527. They're talking about a key.

528. Maybe it's the key Deep Voice mentioned.

529. Don't worry about the key.

530. - What key? - What's goin' on?

531. - What happened? Did I do that? - Who's doing that?

532. This thing on? Sorry about that, folks.

533. - Hit it, Tony. - Get a busboy over here.

534. Clean this up. Get us more drinks. Yo, busboys! What are you, deaf?

535. Clean up this mess or I'll make you wear it.

536. Look. The key. It's around his neck.

537. And get us two more Bartletts. No ice this time. And no lipstick.

538. - We'll get those for you right away. - Right away.

539. Football-headed kid!

540. Here's the deal. The boys are risking their life

541. with some crazy plan to get a rare historic document from Scheck

542. and they don't stand a chance.

543. We must think of a back-up scheme that'll bail us out

544. when their crazy, lamebrained plan fizzles.

545. So, come on. Think of a plan. It's got to be smart, logical and feasible.

546. We could paint the house with vanishing cream.

547. - Then it would be invisible. - That is the stupidest idea ever.

548. What if it rains? Ding-dong. You ever think about that?

549. It'll wash the vanishing cream off, and then everyone'll see us.

550. What we gotta do is build a dummy neighborhood one block over.

551. You're the dummy. That will never work!

552. Yeah? I don't see you coming up with anything.

553. Dig a little deeper into the caverns of your puny mind.

554. Digging? Caverns? Hey, wait a minute.

555. - That reminds me! The secret tunnels! - What secret tunnels?

556. Pretty impressive? A network of tunnels that honeycomb the block,

557. and possibly lead to the rest of the neighborhood.

558. I hate it. It's dark, and it smells.

559. - It's very creepy. - Let's go back.

560. Wait, wait. Listen.

561. One tunnel goes under the street from our house to the one opposite.

562. If we wire it with explosives, we'll blow a hole in the street

563. that the bulldozers can't cross.

564. Yeah? Just one little detail. Where you gonna get the explosives?

565. From you, of course. Just go down to your job site

566. and lift a couple hundred pounds of explosives when no one's looking.

567. That's the craziest thing I ever heard,

568. especially considering I got twice that much under my bed.

569. What? We all got our little peccadilloes.

570. - Finally. - Let's hope he's ready for bed.

571. He should be. It's midnight.

572. As soon as he's asleep, we can get the key off him.

573. As soon as he falls asleep?

574. What if he keeps watching TV for hours?

575. Maybe there's nothing good on.

576. Someone's calling him. Quick.

577. Last time we nearly got killed using that thing.

578. We gotta find out who's calling him.

579. - It might be a clue. - All right.

580. - That's Big Bob. - Yeah, Bob. You're a full partner.

581. What're you calling for? What about your contract?

582. You got a problem with the contract? Quit reading it and get some rest.

583. - Stinkin' pain in the... - That no-good runt!

584. "Party of the first part, party of the second part..."

585. Yada, yada, yada, yada.

586. Wait a minute. What the heck!

587. I think he's finally asleep, Gerald.

588. Give me that key! I was just resting my eye.

589. - Time to go in. - Wait.

590. You're not gonna hang from that?

591. - Not unless you want to. - It's not my size.

592. No problem. I'll fix it.

593. Come on. Almost there. You can do it.

594. What is that? Who's going?

595. It's an angel.

596. - Good job getting the key. - Deep Voice. Where are you?

597. Neve r mind. I'm w atching all you r movements.

598. I'm everywhere and nowhere, but mostly I'm everywhere.

599. Come on, cut the voodoo dolly mumbo jumbo.

600. Why must you be so mysterious?

601. You seem confused about who's calling the shots.

602. I am. Without me, you'll never get the document.

603. You must get into Scheck's office. His safe deposits a r e behind his desk.

604. - We have to get back into his office? - Only this time, don't get caught.

605. Find a way to distract security away f r om the main entrance.

606. Now, it's exactly 2:00 a.m. The bulldozers roll at 7:00.

607. What are you waiting for?

608. Man, that Deep Voice is a pain in the...

609. Come on.

610. It's us. How you been?

611. So it's the two juvenile delinquents who busted my door.

612. Think you can make up your own rules, come and go as you please?

613. Couple of renaissance men.

614. - Sorry about that. - But we're kinda in a hurry.

615. - Murray. - Don't talk to the driver

616. while the vehicle's in motion.

617. The stinkin' bus is fallin' apart.

618. I know we're not supposed to talk to you,

619. but could you drive a little faster?

620. I drive 25 miles an hour, no exceptions, no discussion.

621. - I wonder what bee got in his boxers. - You'd have one too

622. if you were in my moccasins.

623. My girlfriend left me two weeks ago. Her name is Mona.

624. - She said she wanted a whole man. - What's that mean?

625. I lost the real one in the war. She thought it was cool at first.

626. In walks Johnny Come Lately and I'm out the doggie door.

627. You meet a girl. You think it's forever, then the whole thing goes kablooey.

628. She broke my heart, and although I still love her,

629. I made up my mind that from now on, I ain't gonna care about nothin',

630. or stick my neck out for nobody.

631. - I'm only looking out for number one. - That was an inspiring story.

632. Isn't there another bus we can take to FTi?

633. Those cameras detect any motion. If we move, they'll see us.

634. This is no time for playing with toy cars.

635. I'm not playing, Gerald.

636. What was that?

637. We can get to Scheck's office this way. Come on.

638. Deep Voice said to look in the room behind his desk.

639. What are you waiting for?

640. We'd better get started.

641. That's the last of it, Gramps.

642. Now all we do is run this wire up to the street

643. and wait for the bulldozers to come.

644. Then we blow a huge hole, and they fall right in.

645. Sounds great. Now, let's get out of here.

646. Yes, it is still very creepy.

647. Wake up! I've just read the fine print.

648. So, it's Scheck's Beeper Emporium, is it? You're trying to double-cross me.

649. - I don't know what you mean. - I read the contract!

650. I get a new Beeper Emporium, but Scheck gets 51% of my company!

651. It's true, but you signed a contract. There's nothing you can do.

652. - The ink's dry. - You were in on it!

653. - You knew he was gonna shaft me! - So what? It's a free country.

654. If it's a free country, I guess I'm free to beat the living snot out of ya!

655. - Bob, don't get crazy. - Too late!

656. The key. What happened? No.

657. That dream I had, that angel...

658. That wasn't no angel. It was that football-headed kid!

659. It was really happening! He must've stole the stinkin' key.

660. Yeah, Mr. Scheck, it's me, Nick.

661. Bad news. I think I lost the key.

662. Yeah, the key. I think that football-headed kid took it.

663. I was asleep. I think he snuck in and stole it.

664. Yeah, I know. I'm stupid, stupid.

665. Nine hundred ninety-seven,

666. 998.

667. Nope.

668. 999.

669. - Empty? - Where's the document?

670. Looking for something? Here you are, back again.

671. After I'd patiently explained that your mission is hopeless.

672. It still is, though, I'm less inclined to entertain you

673. after you broke into my building again.

674. You thought you could get away with this?

675. There are cameras everywhere. I record everything that goes on.

676. Did you think I'd let you save your little neighborhood?

677. Don't you realize who I am? Alphonse Perrier De Von Scheck.

678. I can trace my ancestry to the founding fathers.

679. Do you know when we lost control of this city?

680. When that ridiculous Tomato Incident took place in your neighborhood.

681. Tearing it down and putting my name in its place will be the sweetest revenge.

682. But the document. Where's the document?

683. Unfortunately, like your little plan, it's about to go up in smoke.

684. My guards will now lock you away where you won't cause more trouble.

685. Run!

686. Get them, for heaven's sake.

687. They went thataway. Come on.

688. There they are!

689. I'll lose them on the stairway. Head for the garage.

690. Find a way out. Call me on the walkie.

691. A r nold, what happened?

692. - Where are you? - Where's the document?

693. - Scheck burned it. - Burned it?

694. Right in front of us. He laughed at us.

695. He said we never had a chance. He's gonna win.

696. - Don't give up. - Why not? It's over.

697. It's not. There must be something.

698. - Aren't there any other copies? - No. He wouldn't make a copy.

699. There were video cameras all over the place.

700. They record everything that goes on in Scheck's building.

701. - Scheck said so himself. - The document must be on videotape.

702. Get to the r oom with the video recorders,

703. find the tape and catch him bu r ning the document.

704. We can show the tape to the police,

705. and it'll be as good as the document itself.

706. We can win, Deep Voice. We can save the neighborhood.

707. What the...

708. Warning. Intruder, level five.

709. Warning. Intruder, level five.

710. - I got it! - I thought he burned it.

711. And I got it all on videotape for the police. It's just as good, maybe better.

712. I am moved by your greatness. Get out of there!

713. I'll wait till the guards are gone.

714. I'm on the street. I'll get a cab and meet you out front.

715. We've got 24 minutes before the bulldozers roll.

716. We can make it. See you in two, Gerald.

717. Don't go out yet. It's s w arming with guards.

718. How do you know I'm here?

719. Don't w or r y. You've got the evidence you need.

720. We've got to get you out of the building.

721. - If you're caught now, all is lost. - How can I get out of here?

722. Wait until the guards go to the other side of the building.

723. I'll distract them, but it'll only buy you a few minutes.

724. They're covering the elevators and the stairs.

725. Deep Voice!

726. Don't come any closer. Ignore that man with the voice box.

727. - Who are you? - No one.

728. No more games. I'm not doing anything until I know who you are.

729. You? You're Deep Voice?

730. - Looks like it. - But I don't get it.

731. Why couldn't you just tell me?

732. - Why the secret identity? - No reason.

733. You just risked everything to help me.

734. - So? What's your point? - Pretty amazing thing to do.

735. - I'm a pretty amazing person. - I thought you were on your dad's side.

736. - You were gonna get rich. - Money isn't everything.

737. - Why'd you do it? - It's my civic duty.

738. - 'Cause I love a good mystery. - Come on. Why?

739. I don't know. Maybe I just took pity on you and your stupid friends.

740. - Why? - 'Cause...

741. maybe I don't hate you as much as I thought.

742. Maybe I even like you a little. You might even say I like you a lot.

743. You did this for me?

744. That's right. What do you do when someone you love is in trouble?

745. - Love? - You heard me. I love you.

746. Who else has been stalking you,

747. building shrines to you, filling books with poems about you?

748. I love you. I've always loved you,

749. ever since I first saw your stupid football head.

750. From that moment, I've lived and breathed for you,

751. dreamed of telling you my secret feelings,

752. and grabbing you and kissing you! Come here, you big lug!

753. I'm confused. Did you just say you loved me?

754. Are you deaf?

755. - Not now! - Not now?

756. Arnold, just hold me.

757. - I need to think. - Do the thinking for both of us now.

758. This is all happening too fast. I feel dizzy. I need to lie down.

759. - Wonderful. I'll go with you. - No.

760. There's no time. We've got 20 minutes before the bulldozers roll.

761. - Bulldozers? - The neighborhood.

762. We have to save the neighborhood. Come on. Let's roll.

763. No.

764. I couldn't find a cab. Come on.

765. - What's she doing here? - No time to explain.

766. We got exactly 16 minutes to stop the bulldozers.

767. Behind the yellow line.

768. That football-headed kid and his little pals

769. have the document on videotape and they're headed uptown

770. on city bus number 13.

771. - Get 'em! - Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

772. All right, everybody, listen. There's a bus headed uptown.

773. Your job is to stop it.

774. - Couldn't you go a little faster? - 25 mph.

775. No exceptions, no discussion.

776. - But lives are at stake. - Not my problem.

777. The thing is, Murray, we're in a hurry.

778. A neighborhood's about to be torn down and we can stop 'em.

779. We have to get there in 14 minutes.

780. I'll get you there when I get you there,

781. which, according to my schedule, will be in about 44 minutes.

782. - That'll be too late. - We have to get there in 14 minutes.

783. Then you're gonna have to sprout wings and fly.

784. - Don't you wanna save people's homes? - Not my problem.

785. Don't you care that every building from 33rd to 39th Street

786. will be demolished?

787. - 33rd to 39th Street? - Right.

788. That's where Mona lives.

789. Hang on to your goodies. We got a neighborhood to save.

790. - Is there anything we can do? - Yeah.

791. Pray this hunk of junk holds together long enough

792. to get us uptown in one piece.

793. - Where's Arnold? - Look!

794. - In position. - Do it.

795. Roger that.

796. - I didn't know you were religious. - Neither did I.

797. His fake leg's stuck. I can't budge it.

798. Gerald, you'll have to drive.

799. - Him? - Are you crazy?

800. You're the top-scoring Runaway Bus player at the arcade.

801. That's a game. This is real life.

802. I know you can do it.

803. Why do you always have to look on the bright side?

804. "We can save the neighborhood and find the document."

805. - "You can drive the bus." - Somebody has to.

806. Get on the floor. You, too, Helga.

807. - Why? - Because I'm driving the bus, okay?

808. And because I'm nine, and I can't reach the pedals.

809. Arnold, you work the clutch. Helga, you work the brakes.

810. And try to get Murray's fake leg off the stinking gas pedal!

811. Brake!

812. My cans...

813. Clutch!

814. You take the high road and I'll take the low road

815. What are those guys up to?

816. - Is the overpass wired? - Yes.

817. - Blow it. - Boss, this is pretty serious.

818. - Serious? - As in 15 to life.

819. Just do it, you incompetent moron!

820. All right. It's 7:00. Time to take it all down.

821. - Why'd I eat chili for breakfast? - Easy, Gramps. Don't blow yet.

822. As soon as I push down this plunger,

823. we'll commence Operation Stop the Bulldozer.

824. What's goin' on? 286-DX plunger, high-gauge wire, C-47 tubing.

825. I know, you're planning to blow the street up,

826. make a hole big enough to stop the bulldozers.

827. - You could do serious jail time. - Well, I...

828. You need any help?

829. - We can't make it! - Let's jump out.

830. No. Use the truck. We can jump the hole!

831. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Let's do it!

832. - What happened? - It's okay. We're jumping the ramp.

833. What ramp?

834. - What smells so rank? - Get out.

835. - Now what? - Grandma!

836. - What about her? She's in jail. - She was.

837. Yeah, Grandma!

838. - She's going back to jail. - I know.

839. Hang on!

840. - I got it! I got the tape! - That's wonderful. What tape?

841. The tape that'll prove this neighborhood is a historic landmark,

842. and can never be destroyed.

843. All I need is a VCR, and I can show you.

844. - I'm way ahead of you. - Bridget?

845. Up here.

846. Tape her.

847. Who does she think she is? Catwoman?

848. My word.

849. That's enough for me.

850. As your mayor, I reclaim this entire neighborhood

851. as a national historic landmark never to be torn down.

852. It's after 7:00!

853. What are you idiots waiting for? Knock it down!

854. It's that lying crook, Scheck! Come on! Let's get the car!

855. I got the hubcap!

856. I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling football-head,

857. the kid with the weird hair and that one-eyebrowed brat.

858. Tell it to the judge, you big donut-hole!

859. Tell it to your cellmate in Folsom.

860. - Where are you going? - I'll make it up to you.

861. I'll buy you breakfast. We'll talk. They have a special.

862. Willikers, what a day!

863. Fistfights, car chases and political intrigue.

864. Don't forget about the overpass blowin' up!

865. And it's only 7:30 in the morning!

866. I wanna go back to bed. I'm exhausted.

867. No!

868. Change is good. Change is good.

869. I thought we set the explosion down the middle of the street.

870. You didn't see nothing. Scatter.

871. What happened? We made it.

872. Mona?

873. You saved the neighborhood.

874. You're my hero. I'm so sorry I made fun of your leg.

875. - I don't care. I love you, baby. - I love you, too, Murray.

876. I love you just the way you are.

877. - Pretty crazy day. - Yeah, we said a lot of nutty things.

878. - Yeah. - Yeah.

879. About all that stuff I said, Arnold, I...

880. - It was crazy back there... - With all the excitement we just...

881. - Got carried away? - You didn't really mean all that?

882. You don't really love me?

883. - Right. - You were caught up in the moment.

884. - Right. - You actually hate me, don't you?

885. Of course I hate you, you stupid football-head, and don't ever forget it!

886. Yes!

887. I guess, we did it, Arnold.

888. - We saved the neighborhood. - Yep. Everything's back to normal.

889. Shall we go shoot some hoops?

890. Gerald, our ball's flat, remember?

891. - No. Just a little low on air. - Wait.

892. - You're looking on the bright side? - Somebody has to.

893. We saved our neighborhood

894. They could not tear it down

895. They could not tu r n ou r smile

896. Into a frown

897. The show's over, Eugene.