1. Long ago,
in the faraway land of ancient Greece,Copy !req
2. there was a golden age of powerful
gods and extraordinary heroes.Copy !req
3. And the greatest and strongest of all
these heroes was the mighty Hercules.Copy !req
4. But what is the measure of a true hero?Copy !req
5. - That is what our story is...
- Will you listen to him?Copy !req
6. He's makin' the story sound like
some Greek tragedy.Copy !req
7. - Lighten up, dude.
- We'll take it from here, darling.Copy !req
8. You go, girl.Copy !req
9. We are the Muses, goddesses of
the arts and proclaimers of heroes.Copy !req
10. Heroes like Hercules.Copy !req
11. Honey, you mean "Hunk-ules."Copy !req
12. I'd like to make
some sweet music with him...Copy !req
13. Our story actually begins long before
Hercules, many aeons ago.Copy !req
14. Back when the world was newCopy !req
15. The planet Earth was down on its luckCopy !req
16. And everywhere gigantic brutes
called Titans ran amokCopy !req
17. It was a nasty placeCopy !req
18. There was a mess
wherever you steppedCopy !req
19. Where chaos reigned and the
earthquakes and volcanoes never sleptCopy !req
20. Say it, girlfriend!Copy !req
21. And then along came ZeusCopy !req
22. - He hurled his thunderbolt
- He zappedCopy !req
23. - Locked those suckers in a vault
- They're trappedCopy !req
24. And on his own
stopped chaos in its tracksCopy !req
25. And that's the gospel truthCopy !req
26. The guy was too "Type A" to just relaxCopy !req
27. And that's the world's first dishCopy !req
28. Yeah, baby.Copy !req
29. Zeus tamed the globe
while still in his youthCopy !req
30. Though, honey it may seem impossibleCopy !req
31. That's the gospel truthCopy !req
32. On Mount Olympus life was neat
And smooth as sweet vermouthCopy !req
33. Although, honey
it may seem impossibleCopy !req
34. That's the gospel truthCopy !req
35. Yeah, yeahCopy !req
36. Hey, hey, heyCopy !req
37. Hey, yeahCopy !req
38. Hercules!Copy !req
39. Behave yourself.Copy !req
40. Look at this.Copy !req
41. Look how cute he is.Copy !req
42. He's strong like his dad.Copy !req
43. Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through!
Excuse me. One side, Ares.Copy !req
44. Why, Hermes, they're lovely.Copy !req
45. Yeah, you know,
I had Orpheus do the arrangement.Copy !req
46. Isn't that too nutty?Copy !req
47. Fabulous party. You know,Copy !req
48. I haven't seen this much love in a room
since Narcissus discovered himself.Copy !req
49. Dear, keep those away from the baby.Copy !req
50. He won't hurt himself.Copy !req
51. Let the kid have a little fun.Copy !req
52. On behalf of my son,Copy !req
53. I want to thank you all
for your wonderful gifts!Copy !req
54. What about our gift, dear?Copy !req
55. Well, let's see here. We'll take... Yes.Copy !req
56. A little cirrus
and a touch of nimbostratusCopy !req
57. and a dash of cumulus.Copy !req
58. His name is Pegasus,Copy !req
59. and he's all yours, son.Copy !req
60. Mind his head.Copy !req
61. He's so tiny.Copy !req
62. My boy.Copy !req
63. My little Hercules.Copy !req
64. How sentimental.Copy !req
65. You know,
I haven't been this choked upCopy !req
66. since I got a hunk of moussaka
caught in my throat!Copy !req
67. So is this an audience or a mosaic?Copy !req
68. Hey, how you doin'?
Lookin' good. Nice dress.Copy !req
69. So, Hades, you finally made it.
How are things in the underworld?Copy !req
70. Well, they're just fine.
You know, a little dark, a little gloomy.Copy !req
71. And, as always,
hey, full of dead people.Copy !req
72. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
73. There's the little sunspot.
Little snootchie.Copy !req
74. And here is a sucker
for the little sucker, eh?Copy !req
75. Here you go. Ya just...Copy !req
76. Powerful little tyke.Copy !req
77. Come on, Hades. Don't be such a stiff.
Join the celebration!Copy !req
78. Hey.Copy !req
79. Love to, babe, but unlike you gods
lounging about up here,Copy !req
80. I regrettably have a full-time gigCopy !req
81. that you, by the way,
so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus.Copy !req
82. So, can't. Love to, but can't.Copy !req
83. You ought to slow down.
You'll work yourself to death.Copy !req
84. Work yourself to death!Copy !req
85. I kill myself!Copy !req
86. If only. If only.Copy !req
87. If there's one god you don't want to
get steamed up, it's Hades.Copy !req
88. 'Cause he had an evil plan.Copy !req
89. He ran the underworldCopy !req
90. But thought the dead
were dull and uncouthCopy !req
91. He was as mean as he was ruthlessCopy !req
92. And that's the gospel truthCopy !req
93. He had a plan to shake things upCopy !req
94. And that's the gospel truthCopy !req
95. Pain!Copy !req
96. Coming, your most lugubriousness.Copy !req
97. Panic!Copy !req
98. I'm sorry. I can handle it!Copy !req
99. - Pain!
- And Panic!Copy !req
100. - Reporting for duty!
- Reporting for duty!Copy !req
101. Fine, fine, fine.Copy !req
102. Just let me know
the instant the Fates arrive.Copy !req
103. They're here.Copy !req
104. What? The Fates are here,
and you didn't tell me?Copy !req
105. - We are worms! Worthless worms!
- We are worms! Worthless worms!Copy !req
106. Memo to me, memo to me.
Maim you after my meeting.Copy !req
107. Darling, hold that mortal's thread of lifeCopy !req
108. good and tight.Copy !req
109. Incoming!Copy !req
110. Ladies! I am so sorry that I'm...Copy !req
111. - Late!
- Late!Copy !req
112. - We knew you would be.
- We know everything.Copy !req
113. - Past.
- Present.Copy !req
114. And Future.Copy !req
115. Indoor plumbing, it's gonna be big.Copy !req
116. Great, great. Anyway, see, ladies,
I was at this party, and I lost track of...Copy !req
117. - We know!
- Yeah. I know you know.Copy !req
118. So here's the deal. Zeus,Copy !req
119. Mr High and Mighty, Mr "Hey, you,
get off of my cloud," now he has...Copy !req
120. - A bouncing baby brat.
- We know!Copy !req
121. I know you know. I know.
I got it. I got the concept.Copy !req
122. So let me just ask.Copy !req
123. Is this kid gonna mess up
my hostile takeover bid, or what?Copy !req
124. What do you think?Copy !req
125. No, you don't.
We're not supposed to reveal the future.Copy !req
126. Wait. I'm sorry. Time out. Can I...Copy !req
127. Can I ask you a question, by the way?
Are you...Copy !req
128. Did you cut your hair or something?
You look fabulous.Copy !req
129. I mean, you look like
a Fate worse than death.Copy !req
130. - Gross!
- It's blinkin'!Copy !req
131. Ladies, please.Copy !req
132. My fate is in your lovely hands.Copy !req
133. - Yeah!
- All right.Copy !req
134. In 18 years precisely,Copy !req
135. the planets will align ever so nicely.Copy !req
136. Verse.Copy !req
137. The time to act will be at hand.Copy !req
138. Unleash the Titans,
your monstrous band.Copy !req
139. Good, good.Copy !req
140. Then the once-proud Zeus
will finally fall,Copy !req
141. and you, Hades, will rule all!Copy !req
142. Yes! Hades rules!Copy !req
143. A word of caution to this tale.Copy !req
144. Excuse me?Copy !req
145. Should Hercules fight, you will fail.Copy !req
146. What?Copy !req
147. Okay, fine, fine. I'm cool. I'm fine.Copy !req
148. Pain? Panic? Got a little riddle for ya.Copy !req
149. How do you kill a god?Copy !req
150. - I do not know!
- You can't. They're immortal?Copy !req
151. Bingo! They're immortal.Copy !req
152. So, first you got to turn
the little sunspot mortal.Copy !req
153. What? What is it?Copy !req
154. - The baby!
- The baby!Copy !req
155. Hercules!Copy !req
156. No!Copy !req
157. Now we did it!Copy !req
158. Zeus is gonna use us
for target practice!Copy !req
159. Just hang onto the kid, Panic.Copy !req
160. Hurry!Copy !req
161. Let's just kill the kid
and get it over with, okay?Copy !req
162. Here you go, kid.
A little Grecian formula.Copy !req
163. Look at that! He's changing.
Can we do it now?Copy !req
164. No, he has to drink the whole potion.
Every last drop.Copy !req
165. Who's there?Copy !req
166. Alcmene, over here.Copy !req
167. You poor thing.Copy !req
168. - Don't cry.
- Is anybody there?Copy !req
169. - Now?
- Now.Copy !req
170. Well, he must have been abandoned.Copy !req
171. Amphitryon, for so many yearsCopy !req
172. we've prayed to the gods
to bless us with a child.Copy !req
173. - Perhaps they've answered our prayers.
- Perhaps they have.Copy !req
174. "Hercules"?Copy !req
175. Help, help, help!Copy !req
176. Hades is gonna kill us
when he finds out what happened.Copy !req
177. You mean, if he finds out.Copy !req
178. Of course he's gonna...Copy !req
179. If. If is good.Copy !req
180. It was tragic.Copy !req
181. Zeus led all the gods
on a frantic search.Copy !req
182. But by the time they found the baby,
it was too late.Copy !req
183. Young Herc was mortal nowCopy !req
184. But since he did not drink the last dropCopy !req
185. He still retained his godlike strengthCopy !req
186. So thank his lucky starsCopy !req
187. Tell it, girl.Copy !req
188. But Zeus and Hera weptCopy !req
189. Because their son
could never come homeCopy !req
190. They'd have to watch their precious
baby grow up from afarCopy !req
191. Though Hades' horrid planCopy !req
192. Was hatched before
Herc cut his first toothCopy !req
193. The boy grew stronger every dayCopy !req
194. And that's the gospel truthCopy !req
195. The gospel truthCopy !req
196. Hercules, slow down!Copy !req
197. Look out!Copy !req
198. Sorry, guys.Copy !req
199. - Hey, watch where you're goin'.
- Sunday driver!Copy !req
200. Thanks, son.Copy !req
201. When old Penelope twisted her ankle
back there, I thought we were done for.Copy !req
202. No problem, Pop.Copy !req
203. Don't unload just yet.
First, I have to finagle with Phideas.Copy !req
204. Okay.Copy !req
205. Sorry, Penelope.Copy !req
206. Now, Hercules, this time, please just...Copy !req
207. I know. I know.Copy !req
208. Stay by the cart.Copy !req
209. That's my boy.Copy !req
210. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
211. Careful!Copy !req
212. - Why, thank you.
- No problem.Copy !req
213. Why, Hercules!Copy !req
214. It's you!Copy !req
215. - Let me help you with that.
- No, no, no, no, no. I got it!Copy !req
216. I'm fine. You just run along.Copy !req
217. - Are you sure?
- Yes.Copy !req
218. Absolutely.Copy !req
219. Yo! Give it here!Copy !req
220. Hey, you need an extra guy?Copy !req
221. Sorry, Herc.Copy !req
222. We already got five,
and we want to keep it an even number.Copy !req
223. Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an even...Copy !req
224. - See ya, Herc.
- What a geek!Copy !req
225. - Destructo Boy.
- Maybe we should call him "Jerkules."Copy !req
226. Heads up!Copy !req
227. I got it!Copy !req
228. No! Stop!Copy !req
229. No.Copy !req
230. It's okay.Copy !req
231. Hey!Copy !req
232. - Son!
- Hang on, Pop! Be right back!Copy !req
233. Oh, my! No! Don't! No, no, no, no!Copy !req
234. No, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
235. Watch out!Copy !req
236. Nice catch, Jerkules.Copy !req
237. Son...Copy !req
238. This is the last straw, Amphitryon!Copy !req
239. That boy is a menace!Copy !req
240. He's too dangerous
to be around normal people!Copy !req
241. He didn't mean any harm.
He's just a kid.Copy !req
242. He just can't control his strength.Copy !req
243. I'm warning you.Copy !req
244. You keep that freak away from here!Copy !req
245. Freak! Yeah, go away!Copy !req
246. Son, you shouldn't let those things
they said back there get to you.Copy !req
247. But, Pop, they're right. I am a freak.
I try to fit in. I really do.Copy !req
248. I just can't.Copy !req
249. Sometimes I feel like
I really don't belong here,Copy !req
250. like I'm supposed to be someplace else.Copy !req
251. Hercules, son...Copy !req
252. I know it doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
253. I have often dreamed of a far off placeCopy !req
254. Where a great, warm welcome
will be waiting for meCopy !req
255. Where the crowds will cheer
when they see my faceCopy !req
256. And a voice keeps sayin'
this is where I'm meant to beCopy !req
257. I will find my wayCopy !req
258. I can go the distanceCopy !req
259. I'll be there somedayCopy !req
260. If I can be strongCopy !req
261. I know every mileCopy !req
262. Will be worth my whileCopy !req
263. I would go most anywhere to feel like ICopy !req
264. BelongCopy !req
265. Hercules,Copy !req
266. there's something your mother and I
have been meaning to tell ya.Copy !req
267. But if you found me,
then where did I come from?Copy !req
268. Why was I left here?Copy !req
269. This was around your neck
when we found you.Copy !req
270. It's the symbol of the gods.Copy !req
271. This is it! Don't you see?
Maybe they have the answers!Copy !req
272. I'll go to the temple of Zeus and...Copy !req
273. Ma, Pop,Copy !req
274. you're the greatest parents
anyone could have, but...Copy !req
275. I gotta know.Copy !req
276. I am on my wayCopy !req
277. I can go the distanceCopy !req
278. I don't care how farCopy !req
279. Somehow, I'll be strongCopy !req
280. I know every mileCopy !req
281. Will be worth my whileCopy !req
282. I would go most anywhereCopy !req
283. To find where I belongCopy !req
284. Mighty Zeus,Copy !req
285. please, hear me and answer my prayer.Copy !req
286. I need to know.Copy !req
287. Who am I?Copy !req
288. Where do I belong?Copy !req
289. My boy.Copy !req
290. My little Hercules.Copy !req
291. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, kiddo!Copy !req
292. What's your hurry?Copy !req
293. After all these years, is this the kind of
hello you give your father?Copy !req
294. Father?Copy !req
295. Didn't know you had a famous father,
did you?Copy !req
296. Surprise!Copy !req
297. Look how you've grown.Copy !req
298. Why, you've got your mother's
beautiful eyes and my strong chin.Copy !req
299. I don't understand.Copy !req
300. If you're my father,
that would make me a...Copy !req
301. - A god.
- A god.Copy !req
302. A god!Copy !req
303. Hey, you wanted answers,Copy !req
304. and by thunder, you're old enough
now to know the truth.Copy !req
305. But why did you leave me on Earth?
Didn't you want me?Copy !req
306. Of course we did.Copy !req
307. Your mother and I
loved you with all our hearts.Copy !req
308. Someone stole you from us
and turned you mortal,Copy !req
309. and only gods
can live on Mount Olympus.Copy !req
310. And you can't do a thing?Copy !req
311. I can't, Hercules, but you can.Copy !req
312. Really? What? I'll do anything.Copy !req
313. Hercules, if you can prove yourself
a true hero on Earth,Copy !req
314. your godhood will be restored!Copy !req
315. A true hero. Great!Copy !req
316. Exactly how do you
become a true hero?Copy !req
317. First, you must seek out Philoctetes,
the trainer of heroes.Copy !req
318. Seek out Philoctetes. Right. I'll...Copy !req
319. Hold your horses!Copy !req
320. Which reminds me.Copy !req
321. You probably don't remember Pegasus,
but you two go way back, son.Copy !req
322. Pegasus!Copy !req
323. He's a magnificent horse
with the brain of a bird.Copy !req
324. I'll find Philoctetes
and become a true hero.Copy !req
325. That's the spirit!Copy !req
326. I won't let you down, Father!Copy !req
327. Good luck, son.Copy !req
328. I will beat the oddsCopy !req
329. I can go the distanceCopy !req
330. I will face the worldCopy !req
331. Fearless, proud and strongCopy !req
332. I will please the godsCopy !req
333. I can go the distanceCopy !req
334. Till I find my hero's welcome
right where ICopy !req
335. BelongCopy !req
336. You sure this is the right place?Copy !req
337. What's the matter, little guy?
You stuck?Copy !req
338. Hey, butt out, buddy!Copy !req
339. Girls! Stop! Stop!
Come back, come back, come back.Copy !req
340. - They can't keep their hands off me.
- Hey!Copy !req
341. What's the matter?
You never seen a satyr before?Copy !req
342. No. Can you help us?Copy !req
343. We're looking for someone
called Philoctetes.Copy !req
344. Call me Phil.Copy !req
345. Phil!Copy !req
346. Boy, am I glad to meet you!
I'm Hercules.Copy !req
347. This is Pegasus.Copy !req
348. Animals! Disgusting!Copy !req
349. I need your help.Copy !req
350. I want to become a hero, a true hero.Copy !req
351. - Sorry, kid. Can't help ya.
- Wait!Copy !req
352. Sorry.Copy !req
353. - Why not?
- Two words, I am retired.Copy !req
354. Look, I gotta do this.Copy !req
355. Haven't you ever had a dream,Copy !req
356. something you wanted so bad
you'd do anything?Copy !req
357. Kid, come inside.
I want to show you something.Copy !req
358. Watch it!
That was part of the mast of the Argo.Copy !req
359. - The Argo?
- Yeah.Copy !req
360. Who do you think
taught Jason how to sail?Copy !req
361. Cleopatra?Copy !req
362. I trained all those would-be heroes.Copy !req
363. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus.
A lot of "yeuseus."Copy !req
364. And every single one of those bums
let me down flatter than a discus.Copy !req
365. None of 'em could go the distance.Copy !req
366. And then there was Achilles.Copy !req
367. Now, there was a guy who had it all,
the build, the foot speed.Copy !req
368. He could jab, he could take a hit,
he could keep on comin'.Copy !req
369. But that furshlugginer heel of his!Copy !req
370. He barely gets nicked there once
and kaboom!Copy !req
371. He's history.Copy !req
372. Yeah, I had a dream once.Copy !req
373. I dreamed I was gonna train
the greatest hero there ever was.Copy !req
374. So great, the gods would hang a picture
of him in the stars all across the sky,Copy !req
375. and people would say,
"That's Phil's boy."Copy !req
376. That's right.Copy !req
377. But dreams are for rookies.Copy !req
378. A guy can only take
so much disappointment.Copy !req
379. But I'm different than
those other guys, Phil!Copy !req
380. I can go the distance.
Come on. I'll show you.Copy !req
381. Geez! You don't give up, do ya?Copy !req
382. Watch this.Copy !req
383. Holy Hera.Copy !req
384. You know, maybe if I...
No! Snap out of it!Copy !req
385. I'm too old
to get mixed up in this stuff again.Copy !req
386. But if I don't become a true hero, I'll
never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus.Copy !req
387. Hold it!Copy !req
388. Zeus is your father, right?Copy !req
389. Zeus. The big guy. He's your daddy.Copy !req
390. Mr Lightning Bolts!Copy !req
391. Read me a book, would ya, Da-da?Copy !req
392. Zeus! "Once upon a time..."Copy !req
393. It's the truth!Copy !req
394. Please!Copy !req
395. So you wanna be a hero, kidCopy !req
396. Well, whoop-de-doCopy !req
397. I have been around the block beforeCopy !req
398. With blockheads just like youCopy !req
399. Each and every one a disappointmentCopy !req
400. Pain for which there ain't no ointmentCopy !req
401. So much for excuses
Though a kid of "Zeus" isCopy !req
402. Askin' me to jump into the frayCopy !req
403. My answer is two wordsCopy !req
404. Okay.Copy !req
405. - You mean you'll do it?
- You win.Copy !req
406. - You won't be sorry, Phil.
- Oh, gods.Copy !req
407. So when do we start?
Can we start now?Copy !req
408. I'd given up hope
that someone would come alongCopy !req
409. A fella who'd ring the bell for once
Not the gongCopy !req
410. The kind who wins trophiesCopy !req
411. Won't settle for low feesCopy !req
412. At least semipro feesCopy !req
413. But, no, I get the greenhornCopy !req
414. I've been out to pasture, pal
My ambition goneCopy !req
415. Content to spend lazy days
and to graze my lawnCopy !req
416. But you need an advisorCopy !req
417. A satyr, but wiserCopy !req
418. A good merchandiser and...Copy !req
419. There goes my ulcerCopy !req
420. I'm down to one last hope
and I hope it's youCopy !req
421. Though, kid, you're not exactly
a dream come trueCopy !req
422. I trained enough turkeys
Who never came throughCopy !req
423. You're my one last hope
So you'll have to doCopy !req
424. Rule number six.Copy !req
425. When rescuing a damsel,
always handle with care.Copy !req
426. No!Copy !req
427. Rule number 95, kid. Concentrate!Copy !req
428. Rule number 96.Copy !req
429. Aim!Copy !req
430. Demigods have faced the odds
And ended up a mockeryCopy !req
431. Don't believe the stories
That you read on all the crockeryCopy !req
432. To be a true hero, kid, is a dying artCopy !req
433. Like paintin' a masterpieceCopy !req
434. It's a work of heartCopy !req
435. It takes more than sinewCopy !req
436. Comes down to what's in youCopy !req
437. You have to continue to growCopy !req
438. Now, that's more like it!Copy !req
439. I'm down to one last shot
And my last high noteCopy !req
440. Before that blasted underworld
gets my goatCopy !req
441. My dreams are on you, kidCopy !req
442. Go make 'em come trueCopy !req
443. Climb that uphill slopeCopy !req
444. Keep pushin' that envelopeCopy !req
445. You're my one last hopeCopy !req
446. And, kid, it's up to youCopy !req
447. Yeah!Copy !req
448. Did you see that?Copy !req
449. Next stop, Olympus.Copy !req
450. All right, just take it easy, champ.Copy !req
451. I am ready. I want to get off this island.Copy !req
452. I want to see battles and monsters.Copy !req
453. Rescue some damsels.Copy !req
454. You know, heroic stuff.Copy !req
455. - Well...
- Come on! Phil!Copy !req
456. Well, okay. Okay, you want a road test?
Saddle up, kid.Copy !req
457. We're going to Thebes!Copy !req
458. - So what's in Thebes?
- A lot of problems.Copy !req
459. It's a big, tough town.
Good place to start buildin' a rep.Copy !req
460. Sounds like your basic DID,
Damsel in Distress.Copy !req
461. Not so fast, sweetheart.Copy !req
462. I swear, Nessus. Put me down or I'll...Copy !req
463. I like 'em fiery!Copy !req
464. Now, remember, kid.Copy !req
465. First, analyse the situation.Copy !req
466. Don't just barrel in there
without thinking.Copy !req
467. He's losin' points for this!Copy !req
468. - You don't know what you're...
- Halt!Copy !req
469. Step aside, two legs.Copy !req
470. Pardon me, my good sir.Copy !req
471. I'll have to ask you to
release that young...Copy !req
472. - Keep movin', junior.
- Lady.Copy !req
473. But you...
Aren't you a damsel in distress?Copy !req
474. I'm a damsel, I'm in distress.Copy !req
475. I can handle this. Have a nice day.Copy !req
476. Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be
too close to the situation to realise...Copy !req
477. - What are you doin'? Get your sword!
- Sword. Right, right.Copy !req
478. Rule number 15,
a hero is only as good as his weapon!Copy !req
479. Hold it! Hold on!
He's gotta do it on his own.Copy !req
480. Come on, kid! Concentrate!Copy !req
481. Use your head!Copy !req
482. All right! Not bad, kid!Copy !req
483. Not exactly what I had in mind,
but not bad.Copy !req
484. Miss, I'm really sorry. That was dumb.Copy !req
485. Yeah.Copy !req
486. Excuse me.Copy !req
487. Nice work! Excelente!Copy !req
488. Is Wonderboy here for real?Copy !req
489. What are you talkin' about?
Of course he's real.Copy !req
490. And by the way, sweet cheeks,
I'm real, too.Copy !req
491. - How was that, Phil?
- Rein it in, rookie.Copy !req
492. You can get away with mistakes
like those in the minor decathlons,Copy !req
493. but this is the big leagues!Copy !req
494. At least I beat him, didn't I?Copy !req
495. Next time, don't let your guard down
because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes!Copy !req
496. It's like I keep tellin' ya.
You gotta stay focused, and... You...Copy !req
497. Are you all right, Miss...Copy !req
498. Megara. My friends call me Meg.
At least, they would if I had any friends.Copy !req
499. So did they give you a name
along with all those rippling pectorals?Copy !req
500. I'm...Copy !req
501. Are you always this articulate?Copy !req
502. Hercules. My... My name is Hercules.Copy !req
503. Hercules. I think I prefer Wonderboy.Copy !req
504. So, how'd you get mixed up with the...Copy !req
505. Pinhead with hooves?
Well, you know how men are.Copy !req
506. They think that "No" means "Yes," and
"Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."Copy !req
507. Don't worry.
Shorty here can explain it to ya later.Copy !req
508. Well, thanks for everything, Herc.
It's been a real slice.Copy !req
509. Wait! Can we give you a ride?Copy !req
510. I don't think
your pinto likes me very much.Copy !req
511. Pegasus? No. Don't be silly.
He'd be more than happy to...Copy !req
512. I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl.
I tie my own sandals and everything.Copy !req
513. Bye-bye, Wonderboy.Copy !req
514. Bye.Copy !req
515. She's something. Isn't she, Phil?Copy !req
516. Yeah. Yeah. She's really something.Copy !req
517. A real pain in the patella!Copy !req
518. Earth to Herc!
Come in, Herc! Come in, Herc!Copy !req
519. We got a job to do, remember?Copy !req
520. Thebes is still waitin'.Copy !req
521. Yeah. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
522. How cute.Copy !req
523. A couple of rodents
looking for a theme park.Copy !req
524. Who you callin' a rodent, sister?
I'm a bunny!Copy !req
525. And I'm his gopher.Copy !req
526. I thought I smelled a rat.Copy !req
527. Meg?Copy !req
528. Speak of the devil.Copy !req
529. Meg, my little flower, my little bird,
my little nut, Meg.Copy !req
530. What exactly happened here?Copy !req
531. I thought you were gonna
persuade the river guardianCopy !req
532. to join my team for the uprising,Copy !req
533. and here I am,
kind of river guardian-less.Copy !req
534. I gave it my best shot,
but he made me an offer I had to refuse.Copy !req
535. Fine. So, instead of subtracting
two years from your sentence,Copy !req
536. hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay?Copy !req
537. Give that your best shot.Copy !req
538. It wasn't my fault.
It was this wonderboy, Hercules.Copy !req
539. Hercules?
Why does that name ring a bell?Copy !req
540. I don't know.
Maybe we owe him money?Copy !req
541. - What was that name again?
- Hercules.Copy !req
542. He comes on with
this big, innocent farm boy routine,Copy !req
543. but I could see through that
in a Peloponnesian minute.Copy !req
544. Wait a minute.Copy !req
545. Wasn't Hercules the name
of that kid we were supposed to...Copy !req
546. - Oh, my gods!
- Oh, my gods!Copy !req
547. Run for it!Copy !req
548. So you took care of him, huh?Copy !req
549. Dead as a door nail.Copy !req
550. Weren't those your exact words?Copy !req
551. This might be a different Hercules.Copy !req
552. Yeah! I mean, Hercules
is a very popular name nowadays!Copy !req
553. Remember, like, a few years ago,
every other boy was named Jason,Copy !req
554. and the girls were all named Brittany?Copy !req
555. I'm about to rearrange the cosmos,Copy !req
556. and the one schlemiel who can louse
it up is waltzing around in the woods!Copy !req
557. Wait. Wait, big guy.Copy !req
558. - We can still cut in on his waltzing.
- That's right!Copy !req
559. And at least we made him mortal.
That's a good thing.Copy !req
560. Didn't we?Copy !req
561. Fortunately for the three of you,Copy !req
562. we still have time to correct
this rather egregious oversight.Copy !req
563. And this time, no foul-ups.Copy !req
564. - Is that all one town?
- One town, a million troubles.Copy !req
565. The one and only Thebes.
The Big Olive itself.Copy !req
566. If you can make it there,
you can make it anywhere.Copy !req
567. Stick with me, kid.
This city is a dangerous place.Copy !req
568. - Look where you're goin', numbskull!
- Hey, I'm walkin' here!Copy !req
569. You see what I mean?
I'm tellin' you, wackos.Copy !req
570. Pitta bread. Pitta bread.
Get your pitta bread here.Copy !req
571. Hey, Mack.Copy !req
572. - You wanna buy a sundial?
- He's not interested, all right?Copy !req
573. Come on, kid.Copy !req
574. The end is coming! Can't you feel it?Copy !req
575. Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes.
We'll ponder that for a while.Copy !req
576. Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on.Copy !req
577. Don't make eye contact.
People here are nuts.Copy !req
578. That's because
they live in a city of turmoil.Copy !req
579. Trust me, kid.Copy !req
580. You're gonna be
just what the doctor ordered.Copy !req
581. It was tragic!
We lost everything in the fire.Copy !req
582. Everything except old Snowball here.Copy !req
583. Now, were the fires
before or after the earthquake?Copy !req
584. They were after the earthquake.
I remember.Copy !req
585. But before the flood.Copy !req
586. Don't even get me started
on the crime rate.Copy !req
587. Thebes has certainly
gone downhill in a hurry.Copy !req
588. Tell me about it.Copy !req
589. It seems like every time I turn around,Copy !req
590. there's some new monster
wreaking havoc and I...Copy !req
591. All we need now is a plague of locusts.Copy !req
592. That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!Copy !req
593. Excuse me.Copy !req
594. It seems to me that
what you folks need is a hero.Copy !req
595. Yeah, and who are you?Copy !req
596. I'm Hercules, and I happen to be a hero.Copy !req
597. - Is that so?
- A hero!Copy !req
598. - Have you ever saved a town before?
- No. Not exactly, but I...Copy !req
599. Have you ever
reversed a natural disaster?Copy !req
600. Well, no.Copy !req
601. Listen to this.
He's just another chariot chaser.Copy !req
602. - This we need.
- That's a laugh.Copy !req
603. Don't you pea brains get it?Copy !req
604. This kid is the genuine article.Copy !req
605. Hey, isn't that the goat-man
who trained Achilles?Copy !req
606. Watch it, pal.Copy !req
607. Yeah, you're right.Copy !req
608. Hey, nice job on those heels!Copy !req
609. Ya missed a spot!Copy !req
610. I got your heel right here!Copy !req
611. I'll wipe that stupid grin
off your face! You...Copy !req
612. Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy. Phil.Copy !req
613. What are you, crazy?Copy !req
614. Young man, we need
a professional hero, not an amateur.Copy !req
615. Well, wait. Stop!Copy !req
616. How am I supposed to prove myself
a hero if nobody will give me a chance?Copy !req
617. You'll get your chance.Copy !req
618. You just need some kind of
catastrophe or disaster.Copy !req
619. Please.Copy !req
620. Help! Please!
There's been a terrible accident!Copy !req
621. - Meg?
- Speakin' of disasters.Copy !req
622. Wonderboy! Hercules!
Thank goodness!Copy !req
623. What's wrong?Copy !req
624. Outside of town, two little boys.
They were playing in the gorge.Copy !req
625. There was this terrible rockslide.Copy !req
626. - They're trapped!
- Kids? Trapped?Copy !req
627. Phil, this is great!Copy !req
628. You're really choked up about this,
aren't ya?Copy !req
629. Come on!Copy !req
630. No, I... You don't...
I have this terrible fear of heights!Copy !req
631. I'm right behind ya, kid!Copy !req
632. I'm way behind ya, kid.Copy !req
633. I got a fur wedgie.Copy !req
634. - Are you okay?
- I'll be fine.Copy !req
635. Just get me down
before I ruin the upholstery.Copy !req
636. - Help! I can't breathe!
- Hurry!Copy !req
637. - Get us out!
- We're suffocating!Copy !req
638. Somebody call IX-I-I!Copy !req
639. Easy, fellas. You'll be all right.Copy !req
640. - We can't last much longer!
- Get us out before we get crushed!Copy !req
641. - How you boys doin'?
- We're okay now.Copy !req
642. Jeepers, mister. You're really strong.Copy !req
643. Well, try to be a little more careful
next time, okay, kids?Copy !req
644. We sure will.Copy !req
645. A stirring performance, boys.Copy !req
646. I was really moved.Copy !req
647. "Jeepers, mister"?Copy !req
648. I was going for innocence.Copy !req
649. And, hey, two thumbs
way, way up for our leading lady.Copy !req
650. What a dish. What a doll.Copy !req
651. Get outta there, you big lug,
while you still can.Copy !req
652. Phil, I did great.Copy !req
653. They even applauded, sort of.Copy !req
654. I hate to burst your bubble, kid,
but that ain't applause.Copy !req
655. Phil? What do you call that thing?Copy !req
656. Two words.Copy !req
657. Am-scray!Copy !req
658. Let's get ready to rumble!Copy !req
659. That's it. Dance around! Dance around!Copy !req
660. Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth.
Keep going. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
661. Lead with your left.
Lead with your left! Your other left!Copy !req
662. All right! All right! You're bad! Okay!Copy !req
663. See, Phil? That... That wasn't so hard.Copy !req
664. Kid, kid, kid.Copy !req
665. How many horns do ya see?Copy !req
666. Six?Copy !req
667. Close enough.
Let's get you cleaned up.Copy !req
668. Guys, guys, relax.Copy !req
669. It's only half-time.Copy !req
670. That doesn't sound good.Copy !req
671. Definitely not good!Copy !req
672. Will you forget the head-slicing thing?Copy !req
673. Phil, I don't think we covered
this one in basic training!Copy !req
674. My favourite part of the game,Copy !req
675. sudden death.Copy !req
676. There goes another one.
Just like Achilles.Copy !req
677. Game.Copy !req
678. Set.Copy !req
679. Match.Copy !req
680. Phil, you gotta admit.
That was pretty heroic.Copy !req
681. Ya did it, kid! Ya did it!
You won by a landslide!Copy !req
682. Hades mad.Copy !req
683. Well, what do ya know?Copy !req
684. From that day forward,
our boy Hercules could do no wrong.Copy !req
685. He was so hot, steam looked cool.Copy !req
686. Oh, yeahCopy !req
687. Bless my soul
Herc was on a rollCopy !req
688. Person of the week
in every Greek opinion pollCopy !req
689. - What a pro
- Herc could stop a showCopy !req
690. Point him at a monster
and you're talkin' SROCopy !req
691. - He was a no one
- A zero, zeroCopy !req
692. - Now he's a honcho
- He's a heroCopy !req
693. Here was a kid with his act down patCopy !req
694. Zero to hero in no time flatCopy !req
695. - Zero to hero
- Just like thatCopy !req
696. When he smiled the girls went wildCopy !req
697. With oohs and aahsCopy !req
698. And they slapped his face
on every vaseCopy !req
699. On every "vahse"Copy !req
700. From appearance fees and royaltiesCopy !req
701. Our Herc had cash to burnCopy !req
702. Now nouveau riche and famousCopy !req
703. He could tell you what's a Grecian urnCopy !req
704. Say amen, there he goes againCopy !req
705. - Sweet and undefeated
- And an awesome 10-for-10Copy !req
706. Folks lined up just to watch him flexCopy !req
707. And this perfect package
packed a pair of pretty pecsCopy !req
708. Hercie, he comes
he sees, he conquersCopy !req
709. Honey, the crowds were goin' bonkersCopy !req
710. He showed the moxie
brains and spunkCopy !req
711. YeahCopy !req
712. - From zero to hero
- A major hunkCopy !req
713. - Zero to hero
- And who'd have thunk?Copy !req
714. Who put the glad in gladiator?Copy !req
715. HerculesCopy !req
716. Who's darin' deeds are great theatre?Copy !req
717. HerculesCopy !req
718. - Isn't he bold?
- No one braverCopy !req
719. - Is he sweet?
- Our favourite flavourCopy !req
720. HerculesCopy !req
721. My man.Copy !req
722. - Hercules
- HerculesCopy !req
723. HerculesCopy !req
724. - Hercules
- Look at my HerculesCopy !req
725. - Hercules, Hercules
- Yeah, yeah, yeahCopy !req
726. Bless my soul, Herc was on a rollCopy !req
727. - Undefeated
- Riding highCopy !req
728. And the nicest guy.Copy !req
729. Not conceitedCopy !req
730. - He was a nothing
- Zero, zeroCopy !req
731. - Now he's a honcho
- He's our heroCopy !req
732. He hit the heights at breakneck speedCopy !req
733. From zero to heroCopy !req
734. Herc is a heroCopy !req
735. Now he's a heroCopy !req
736. Yes, indeedCopy !req
737. Pull!Copy !req
738. Nice shootin', Rex.Copy !req
739. I can't believe this guy.Copy !req
740. I throw everything I've got at him
and it doesn't even...Copy !req
741. What are those?Copy !req
742. I don't know.
I thought they looked kinda dashing.Copy !req
743. I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo,Copy !req
744. or the entire scheme I've been setting
up for 18 years goes up in smoke,Copy !req
745. and you are wearing his merchandise!Copy !req
746. Thirsty?Copy !req
747. Looks like your game's over.Copy !req
748. Wonderboy is hitting
every curve you throw at him.Copy !req
749. Yeah.Copy !req
750. I wonder if maybeCopy !req
751. I haven't been throwing
the right curves at him, Meg, my sweet.Copy !req
752. Don't even go there.Copy !req
753. See, he's gotta have a weakness
because everybody's got a weakness.Copy !req
754. I mean, for what?
Pandora, it was the box thing.Copy !req
755. For the Trojans, hey.
They bet on the wrong horse, okay?Copy !req
756. We simply need to
find out Wonderboy's.Copy !req
757. I've done my part. Get your little imps...Copy !req
758. They couldn't handle him as a baby.Copy !req
759. I need somebody
who can handle him as a man.Copy !req
760. Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.Copy !req
761. That's good because that's what
got you into this jam in the first place.Copy !req
762. You sold your soul to me
to save your boyfriend's life.Copy !req
763. And how does this creep thank you?Copy !req
764. By running off with some babe.Copy !req
765. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Meg?Copy !req
766. Look, I learned my lesson, okay?Copy !req
767. Which is exactly why I got a feelin'
you're gonna leap at my new offer.Copy !req
768. You give me the key
to bringing down Wonder Breath,Copy !req
769. and I give you the thing that
you crave most in the entire cosmos,Copy !req
770. your freedom.Copy !req
771. You should have been there, Father.Copy !req
772. I mangled the Minotaur,
grappled with the Gorgon.Copy !req
773. Just like Phil told me.Copy !req
774. I analysed the situation,
controlled my strength and kicked.Copy !req
775. The crowds went wild!Copy !req
776. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
777. You're doin' great, son.
You're doing your old man proud.Copy !req
778. I'm glad to hear you say that, Father.Copy !req
779. I've been waiting for this day
a long time.Copy !req
780. What day is that, son?Copy !req
781. The day I rejoin the gods.Copy !req
782. You've done wonderfully.
You really have, my boy.Copy !req
783. You're just not there yet.Copy !req
784. You haven't proven yourself a true hero.Copy !req
785. But, Father, I've beaten every single
monster I've come up against.Copy !req
786. I'm the most famous person
in all of Greece.Copy !req
787. I'm an action figure!Copy !req
788. I'm afraid being famous
isn't the same as being a true hero.Copy !req
789. What more can I do?Copy !req
790. It's something
you have to discover for yourself.Copy !req
791. - But how can I...
- Look inside your heart.Copy !req
792. Father, wait!Copy !req
793. On your left is Hercules' villa.Copy !req
794. Our next stop is
the Pecs and Flex Gift ShopCopy !req
795. where you can pick upCopy !req
796. the great hero's 30-minute
workout scroll Buns of Bronze.Copy !req
797. At 1:00,
you got a meeting with King Augeas.Copy !req
798. He's got a problem with his stables.Copy !req
799. I'd advise you
not to wear your new sandals.Copy !req
800. - Phil?
- I told you, don't move!Copy !req
801. DGR, the Daughters of
the Greek Revolution.Copy !req
802. - Phil.
- At 3:00,Copy !req
803. you gotta get a girdle
from some Amazons.Copy !req
804. Phil, what's the point?Copy !req
805. That's it!Copy !req
806. Keep your toga on, pal.Copy !req
807. What d'you mean, "What's the point?"Copy !req
808. You wanna go to Olympus, don't ya?Copy !req
809. Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem
to be getting me anywhere.Copy !req
810. You can't give up now.
I'm countin' on ya.Copy !req
811. I gave this everything I had.Copy !req
812. Listen to me, kid. I seen 'em all.Copy !req
813. And I am tellin' you,
and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth,Copy !req
814. - you got somethin' I never seen before.
- Really?Copy !req
815. I can feel it right down
to these stubby bowlegs of mine.Copy !req
816. There is nothin' you can't do, kid.Copy !req
817. It's him!Copy !req
818. Hey, watch it! Watch it! Watch...Copy !req
819. - I touched his elbow!
- I got his sweatband!Copy !req
820. Phil, help!Copy !req
821. - Okay. Escape plan, beta.
- Gotcha.Copy !req
822. Hey. Where is he?Copy !req
823. There he goes! On the veranda!Copy !req
824. Let's see.Copy !req
825. What could be behind
curtain number one?Copy !req
826. Meg!Copy !req
827. It's all right.
The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.Copy !req
828. It's great to see you.Copy !req
829. I missed you.Copy !req
830. So this is what heroes do
on their days off.Copy !req
831. I'm no hero.Copy !req
832. Sure ya are. Everybody in GreeceCopy !req
833. thinks you're the greatest thing
since they put the pocket in pitta.Copy !req
834. I know. It's crazy.Copy !req
835. You know, I can't go anywhere
without being mobbed.Copy !req
836. - I mean...
- You sound like you could use a break.Copy !req
837. Think your nanny goat
would go berserkCopy !req
838. if you played hooky this afternoon?Copy !req
839. I don't know.Copy !req
840. Phil's got the rest of the day
pretty much booked.Copy !req
841. Phil, schmill. Just follow me.Copy !req
842. Out the window, round the dumbbells,
you lift up the back wall and we're gone.Copy !req
843. What a day.Copy !req
844. First, that restaurant by the bay,
and then that play, that Oedipus thing.Copy !req
845. Man! I thought I had problems.Copy !req
846. - Stop foolin' around!
- Yeah. Get the goods, sister.Copy !req
847. I didn't know that
playing hooky could be so much fun.Copy !req
848. - Yeah. Neither did I.
- Thanks, Meg.Copy !req
849. Don't thank me just yet.Copy !req
850. Careful.Copy !req
851. Sorry. Weak ankles.Copy !req
852. Yeah? Well,
maybe you better sit down for a while.Copy !req
853. So, do you have any problems
with things like this?Copy !req
854. Weak ankles, I mean.Copy !req
855. No. Not really.Copy !req
856. No weaknesses whatsoever?Copy !req
857. No trick knee?Copy !req
858. Ruptured disks?Copy !req
859. No. I'm afraid I'm fit as a fiddle.Copy !req
860. Wonderboy, you are perfect.Copy !req
861. Thanks.Copy !req
862. It looks better that way.Copy !req
863. No, it really does.Copy !req
864. You know, when I was a kid,Copy !req
865. I would have given anything
to be exactly like everybody else.Copy !req
866. You wanted to be petty and dishonest?Copy !req
867. Everybody's not like that.Copy !req
868. Yes, they are.Copy !req
869. You're not like that.Copy !req
870. How do you know what I'm like?Copy !req
871. All I know is you're the most amazing
person with weak ankles I've ever met.Copy !req
872. Meg, when I'm with you,
I don't feel so alone.Copy !req
873. Sometimes it's better to be alone.Copy !req
874. What do you mean?Copy !req
875. Nobody can hurt you.Copy !req
876. Meg?Copy !req
877. I would never, ever hurt you.Copy !req
878. And I don't wanna hurt you, so let's both
do ourselves a favour and stop thisCopy !req
879. before we...Copy !req
880. All right! Break it up! Break it up!
Party's over!Copy !req
881. - I been lookin' all over this town!
- Calm down, mutton man.Copy !req
882. It was all my fault.Copy !req
883. You're already on my list, sister,
so don't make it worse!Copy !req
884. And as for you, ya bum,
you're gonna go to the stadiumCopy !req
885. and you're gonna be put through
the workout of your life!Copy !req
886. - Now get on the horse.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
887. - I'm sorry.
- He'll get over it.Copy !req
888. Move!
Move, move, move, move, move! Move!Copy !req
889. Hey, watch it, watch it! Watch it!
Keep your goo-goo eyes on the...Copy !req
890. That's it. Next time, I drive.Copy !req
891. What's the matter with me?Copy !req
892. You'd think a girl would learn.Copy !req
893. If there's a prize for rotten judgementCopy !req
894. I guess I've already won thatCopy !req
895. No man is worth the aggravationCopy !req
896. That's ancient history
Been there, done thatCopy !req
897. Who d'ya think you're kidding
He's the Earth and heaven to youCopy !req
898. Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through youCopy !req
899. - Oh, no
- Girl, you can't conceal itCopy !req
900. We know how you feel
and who you're thinkin' ofCopy !req
901. No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, noCopy !req
902. You swoon, you sigh
Why deny it?Copy !req
903. It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in loveCopy !req
904. I thought my heart
had learned its lessonCopy !req
905. It feels so good when you start outCopy !req
906. My head is screaming
"Get a grip, girl"Copy !req
907. Unless you're dyin'
To cry your heart outCopy !req
908. You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feelin'Copy !req
909. Baby, we're not buyin'
Hon, we saw you hit the ceilin'Copy !req
910. Face it like a grown-up
When you gonna own up that youCopy !req
911. - Got
- Got it bad?Copy !req
912. No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, noCopy !req
913. - Give up, but give in
- Check the grin, you're in loveCopy !req
914. This scene won't play
I won't say I'm in loveCopy !req
915. You're doing flips
Read our lipsCopy !req
916. You're in loveCopy !req
917. You're way off base
I won't say I'm itCopy !req
918. She won't say in loveCopy !req
919. Get off my case, I won't say itCopy !req
920. Girl, don't be proud
It's okay, you're in loveCopy !req
921. At least out loudCopy !req
922. I won't say I'm inCopy !req
923. LoveCopy !req
924. Hey, what's the buzz, Meg?Copy !req
925. What is the weak link
in Wonderboy's chain?Copy !req
926. Get yourself another girl. I'm through.Copy !req
927. I'm sorry. Do you mind
runnin' that by me again?Copy !req
928. I must have had a chunk of brimstone
wedged in my ear or something.Copy !req
929. Then read my lips! Forget it.Copy !req
930. Meg, Meg, Meg,
my sweet, deluded little minion.Copy !req
931. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy,
but ever so crucial little, tiny detail?Copy !req
932. I own you!Copy !req
933. - I got another horn here.
- You work for me.Copy !req
934. That kid's gonna be
doin' laps for a month.Copy !req
935. If I say, "Sing," you say,
"Hey, name that tune."Copy !req
936. If I say, "I want Wonderboy's head
on a platter," you say...Copy !req
937. Medium or well-done.Copy !req
938. I knew that dame was trouble.
This is gonna break the kid's heart.Copy !req
939. - I'll work on that.
- I'm sorry. You hear that sound?Copy !req
940. That's the sound of your freedom
fluttering out the window forever.Copy !req
941. I don't care.
I'm not gonna help you hurt him.Copy !req
942. I can't believe you're
getting so worked up about some guy.Copy !req
943. This one is different.
He's honest, and he's sweet...Copy !req
944. Please!Copy !req
945. - He would never do anything to hurt me.
- He's a guy!Copy !req
946. Besides, O oneness,
you can't beat him.Copy !req
947. He has no weaknesses. He's gonna...Copy !req
948. I think he does, Meg.Copy !req
949. I truly think he does.Copy !req
950. Hey, Phil! What happened to you?Copy !req
951. Kid, we gotta talk.Copy !req
952. Phil, I just had
the greatest day of my life!Copy !req
953. I can't stop thinking about Meg.Copy !req
954. She's something else.Copy !req
955. Kid, I'm tryin' to talk to ya!
Will you come down here and listen?Copy !req
956. How can I come down there
when I'm feeling so up?Copy !req
957. Gotcha!Copy !req
958. Very nice! What I'm tryin' to say is...Copy !req
959. That if it wasn't for you,
I never would have met her.Copy !req
960. I owe ya big time.Copy !req
961. Will you just knock it off
for a couple of seconds?Copy !req
962. Rule number 38. Come on, Phil.
Keep them up there, huh?Copy !req
963. - Phil, I got two words for ya, duck!
- Listen to me! She's...Copy !req
964. - A dream come true?
- Not exactly.Copy !req
965. - More beautiful than Aphrodite?
- Aside from that!Copy !req
966. - The most wonderful...
- She's a fraud!Copy !req
967. She's been playin' ya for a sap!Copy !req
968. - Come on. Stop kiddin' around.
- I'm not kiddin' around.Copy !req
969. I know you're upset about today,
but that's no reason to...Copy !req
970. Kid, you're missin' the point.Copy !req
971. - The point is, I love her.
- She don't love you.Copy !req
972. - You're crazy.
- She's nothin' but a two-timin'...Copy !req
973. - Stop it!
- No-good, lyin', schemin'...Copy !req
974. Shut up!Copy !req
975. Phil. I...Copy !req
976. I'm sorry.Copy !req
977. Okay, okay, that's it.
You won't face the truth? Fine.Copy !req
978. Phil, wait. Where you going?Copy !req
979. I'm hoppin' the first barge out of here.
I'm goin' home.Copy !req
980. Fine!Copy !req
981. Go! I don't... I don't need you.Copy !req
982. I thought you were gonna be
the all-time champ,Copy !req
983. not the all-time chump.Copy !req
984. Geez Louise! What got his goat, huh?Copy !req
985. Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead.Copy !req
986. - Hi. How ya doin'?
- Not now, okay?Copy !req
987. Hey, hey. I only need a few seconds
and I'm a fast talker, all right?Copy !req
988. I've got the major deal in the works.
A real estate venture, if you will.Copy !req
989. And Herc, you little devil you.
May I call you Herc?Copy !req
990. You seem to be constantly
getting in the way of it.Copy !req
991. You've got the wrong guy.Copy !req
992. Hear me out, ya little...
Just hear me out, okay?Copy !req
993. So I would be eternally gratefulCopy !req
994. if you would just take a day off
from this hero business of yours.Copy !req
995. I mean, monsters, natural disasters.
You wait a day, okay?Copy !req
996. - You're out of your mind.
- Not so fast, because, ya see,Copy !req
997. I do have a little leverage
you might wanna know about.Copy !req
998. - Meg!
- Don't listen, Herc...Copy !req
999. - Let her go!
- Here's the trade-off.Copy !req
1000. You give up your strength
for about 24 hours, okay?Copy !req
1001. Say the next 24 hours.Copy !req
1002. And Meg here is free as a bird
and safe from harm.Copy !req
1003. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze,
we carry on, we go home happy.Copy !req
1004. What d'ya say? Come on.Copy !req
1005. People are gonna get hurt, aren't they?Copy !req
1006. Nah! I mean, it's a possibility.
It happens 'cause, you know, it's war.Copy !req
1007. But what can I tell ya? Anyway,
what do you owe these people?Copy !req
1008. Isn't Meg, little smoochy face,
isn't she more important than they are?Copy !req
1009. - Stop it!
- Isn't she?Copy !req
1010. You've gotta swear
she'll be safe from any harm.Copy !req
1011. Fine, okay. I'll give you that one.Copy !req
1012. Meg is safe, otherwise
you get your strength right back.Copy !req
1013. Fine print. Boilerplate. Okay? Done.
What d'ya say we shake on it?Copy !req
1014. Hey, I really don't have, like,
time to bat this around.Copy !req
1015. I'm kind of on a schedule here.
I got plans for August. Okay?Copy !req
1016. I need an answer, like, now.
Going once, going twice...Copy !req
1017. - All right!
- Yes, we're there!Copy !req
1018. You may feel just a little queasy.
It's kinda natural.Copy !req
1019. Maybe you should sit down!Copy !req
1020. Now you know how it feels
to be just like everybody else.Copy !req
1021. Isn't it just peachy?Copy !req
1022. You'll love this. One more thing.Copy !req
1023. Meg, babe, a deal's a deal.
You're off the hook.Copy !req
1024. And by the way, Herc,
is she not a fabulous little actress?Copy !req
1025. - Stop it.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
1026. I mean your little chickie-poo here
was working for me all the time.Copy !req
1027. You're... You're lying!Copy !req
1028. - Help!
- Jeepers, mister, you're really strong.Copy !req
1029. Couldn't have done it without you,
sugar, sweetheart, babe.Copy !req
1030. No! It's not like that.Copy !req
1031. I didn't mean to... I couldn't... I...Copy !req
1032. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1033. Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!Copy !req
1034. Well, gotta blaze.Copy !req
1035. There's a whole cosmos up there
waiting for me with, hey, my name on it.Copy !req
1036. So much for the preliminaries,
and now on to the main event!Copy !req
1037. Brothers! Titans!Copy !req
1038. Look at you in your squalid prison!Copy !req
1039. Who put you down there?Copy !req
1040. Zeus!Copy !req
1041. And now that I set you free, what is
the first thing you are going to do?Copy !req
1042. - Destroy him!
- Good answer.Copy !req
1043. Crush Zeus!Copy !req
1044. Freeze him!Copy !req
1045. Melt Zeus!Copy !req
1046. Blow him away!Copy !req
1047. Zeus!Copy !req
1048. Guys?Copy !req
1049. Olympus would be that way.Copy !req
1050. - Zeus!
- Freeze him!Copy !req
1051. Hold it, bright eye.Copy !req
1052. I have a special job for you,
my optic friend.Copy !req
1053. Destroy Zeus!Copy !req
1054. We're in trouble! Big trouble! I gotta...Copy !req
1055. My lord and lady,
the Titans have escaped,Copy !req
1056. and they're practically at our gates!Copy !req
1057. Sound the alarm!
Launch an immediate counterattack!Copy !req
1058. - Go! Go!
- Gone, babe.Copy !req
1059. Charge!Copy !req
1060. On to battle!Copy !req
1061. You windbag!Copy !req
1062. Hercules!Copy !req
1063. Where are you?Copy !req
1064. What can we do?Copy !req
1065. - Where is Hercules?
- Yeah, Hercules'll save us.Copy !req
1066. Hercules!Copy !req
1067. Come out! Face me!Copy !req
1068. What are you doing?
Without your strength, you'll be killed.Copy !req
1069. There are worse things.Copy !req
1070. Run!Copy !req
1071. Wait! Stop!Copy !req
1072. - Hey, look! It's Hercules.
- Thank the gods!Copy !req
1073. - We're saved!
- So...Copy !req
1074. You mighty Hercules.Copy !req
1075. Easy, horsefeathers.Copy !req
1076. Stop twitching.Copy !req
1077. Listen. Hercules is in trouble.Copy !req
1078. We've gotta find Phil.Copy !req
1079. He's the only one
who can talk some sense into him.Copy !req
1080. Get back, blast you!Copy !req
1081. - Chihuahua.
- Zeus!Copy !req
1082. Come on! Hurry up!
We're shovin' off here!Copy !req
1083. Phil!Copy !req
1084. Phil, Hercules needs your help!Copy !req
1085. What does he need me for
when he's got friends like you?Copy !req
1086. - He won't listen to me.
- Good! He's finally learned something.Copy !req
1087. Look, I know what I did was wrong,
but this isn't about me.Copy !req
1088. It's about him.
If you don't help him now, Phil, he'll die.Copy !req
1089. I need more thunderbolts!Copy !req
1090. Hephaestus has been captured,
my lord.Copy !req
1091. Everyone's been captured.
I've been captured!Copy !req
1092. Hey, hey! Watch the glasses.Copy !req
1093. Zeusy, I'm home!Copy !req
1094. Hades. You're behind this!Copy !req
1095. You are correct, sir!Copy !req
1096. Flea.Copy !req
1097. - Hercules!
- Phil.Copy !req
1098. Come on, kid. Come on. Fight back.Copy !req
1099. Come on, you can take this bum.
This guy's a pushover. Look at him.Copy !req
1100. You were right all along, Phil.Copy !req
1101. Dreams are for rookies.Copy !req
1102. No, no, no, no, kid.
Givin' up is for rookies.Copy !req
1103. I came back
'cause I'm not quittin' on ya.Copy !req
1104. I'm willing to go the distance.Copy !req
1105. How 'bout you?Copy !req
1106. Me bite off head!Copy !req
1107. Whoa, baby!Copy !req
1108. Hercules! Look out!Copy !req
1109. Meg! No!Copy !req
1110. What's happening?Copy !req
1111. Hades' deal is broken.Copy !req
1112. He promised I wouldn't get hurt.Copy !req
1113. Meg.Copy !req
1114. Why did you...Copy !req
1115. You didn't have to...Copy !req
1116. People always do crazy things
when they're in love.Copy !req
1117. Meg.Copy !req
1118. Meg, I... I...Copy !req
1119. Are you always this articulate?Copy !req
1120. You haven't got much time.
You can still stop Hades.Copy !req
1121. I'll watch over her, kid.Copy !req
1122. You're gonna be all right.Copy !req
1123. I promise.Copy !req
1124. Let's go, Pegasus!Copy !req
1125. Hup, two, three, four.
Come on, everybody!Copy !req
1126. I can't hear you!Copy !req
1127. I swear to you, Hades,
when I get out of this...Copy !req
1128. I'm the one giving orders now, bolt boy.Copy !req
1129. And I think I'm gonna like it here.Copy !req
1130. Don't get too comfortable, Hades!Copy !req
1131. Hercules!Copy !req
1132. This ought to even the odds!Copy !req
1133. Yeah, Hercules! Thank you, man.Copy !req
1134. Get them!Copy !req
1135. Hey!Copy !req
1136. No! Get him! Not me! Him!Copy !req
1137. Follow the fingers! Him!
The yutz with the horse.Copy !req
1138. Thank you, my boy.Copy !req
1139. Nice horsey! My intentions were pure!
I really was attracted to you.Copy !req
1140. Throw!Copy !req
1141. Now watch your old man work!Copy !req
1142. Guys, get your titanic rears in gear
and kick some Olympian butt!Copy !req
1143. Is my hair out?Copy !req
1144. Thanks a ton, Wonderboy.Copy !req
1145. But at least
I've got one swell consolation prize,Copy !req
1146. a friend of yours who's dying to see me.Copy !req
1147. Meg.Copy !req
1148. Meg.Copy !req
1149. Meg, no.Copy !req
1150. I'm sorry, kid.Copy !req
1151. There's some things
you just can't change.Copy !req
1152. Yes, I can.Copy !req
1153. We were so close!Copy !req
1154. So close.Copy !req
1155. We tripped at the finish line. Why?Copy !req
1156. Because our little nut, Meg,
has to go all noble.Copy !req
1157. - Where's Meg?
- Look who's here.Copy !req
1158. Wonderboy, you are too much.Copy !req
1159. - Let her go.
- Get a grip.Copy !req
1160. Come here, come here.
Let me show you around.Copy !req
1161. Well, well.
It's a small underworld after all. Huh?Copy !req
1162. Meg!Copy !req
1163. No, no, no. Mustn't touch.Copy !req
1164. You see, Meg's
running with a new crowd these days.Copy !req
1165. And not a very lively one, at that.Copy !req
1166. You like making deals.
Take me in Meg's place.Copy !req
1167. Well. The son of my hated rival
trapped forever in a river of death.Copy !req
1168. - Going once.
- Is there a downside to this?Copy !req
1169. - Going twice!
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
1170. You get her out. She goes, you stay.Copy !req
1171. You know what slipped my mind?Copy !req
1172. You'll be dead
before you can get to her.Copy !req
1173. That's not a problem, is it?Copy !req
1174. What's the matter with these scissors?Copy !req
1175. The thread won't cut.Copy !req
1176. This is... This is impossible!Copy !req
1177. You can't be alive! You'd have to be a...Copy !req
1178. - A god?
- A god?Copy !req
1179. Hercules, stop!
You can't do this to me. You can't...Copy !req
1180. Fine. Okay. Listen.Copy !req
1181. Okay. Well, I deserved that.
Herc, Herc, Herc. Can we talk?Copy !req
1182. Your dad, he's a fun guy, right?Copy !req
1183. So maybe you could
put in a word with him,Copy !req
1184. and he'd kinda blow this
whole thing off, you know?Copy !req
1185. Meg, Meg, talk to him.
A little schmooze...Copy !req
1186. Get away from me! Don't touch me!
Get your slimy souls off me!Copy !req
1187. He's not gonna be happy
when he gets outta there.Copy !req
1188. You mean, if he gets outta there.Copy !req
1189. - If. If is good.
- Taxi!Copy !req
1190. I don't feel so good. I feel a little...Copy !req
1191. Wonderboy, what...Copy !req
1192. Why did you...Copy !req
1193. People always do crazy thingsCopy !req
1194. when they're in love.Copy !req
1195. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
1196. Three cheers for the mighty Hercules!Copy !req
1197. Yeah! Flowers for everybody!Copy !req
1198. Hercules, we're so proud of you.Copy !req
1199. Mother.Copy !req
1200. Fine work, my boy! You've done it!Copy !req
1201. You're a true hero.Copy !req
1202. You were willing to give your life
to rescue this young woman.Copy !req
1203. For a true hero isn't measured
by the size of his strength,Copy !req
1204. but by the strength of his heart.Copy !req
1205. Now, at last, my son,Copy !req
1206. you can come home.Copy !req
1207. Congratulations, Wonderboy.
You'll make one heck of a god.Copy !req
1208. Father, this is the moment
I've always dreamed of.Copy !req
1209. But...Copy !req
1210. A life without Meg,
even an immortal life,Copy !req
1211. would be empty.Copy !req
1212. I...Copy !req
1213. I wish to stay on Earth with her.Copy !req
1214. I finally know where I belong.Copy !req
1215. Hit it, ladies!Copy !req
1216. - Gonna shout it from the mountaintops
- A star is bornCopy !req
1217. - It's the time for pulling out the stops
- A star is bornCopy !req
1218. - Honey, hit us with a hallelu
- That kid came shining throughCopy !req
1219. Girl, sing the songCopy !req
1220. - Come blow your horn
- A star is bornCopy !req
1221. - He's a hero who can please the crowd
- A star is bornCopy !req
1222. Come on, everybody shout out loud
A star is bornCopy !req
1223. Just remember in the darkest hour
within your heart's the powerCopy !req
1224. For makin' you a hero, tooCopy !req
1225. So don't lose hope when you're forlornCopy !req
1226. That's Phil's boy!Copy !req
1227. Just keep your eyes upon the skiesCopy !req
1228. Every night, a star is
Right in sight, a star isCopy !req
1229. - Burning bright, a star is born
- A star is bornCopy !req
1230. What d'ya say? It's happy ending time!Copy !req
1231. Everybody's got a little taste
of somethin' but me.Copy !req
1232. I got nothin'. I'm here with nothin'.
Anybody listenin'?Copy !req
1233. It's like I'm...
What am I, an echo or something?Copy !req
1234. Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what?
Hyperspace? Hello, it's me.Copy !req
1235. Nobody listens.Copy !req