1. "To my Chris.
Copy !req
2. I've been thinking how I could possibly tell you
how much you mean to me.
Copy !req
3. I remember when I first started
to fall in love with you like it was last night.
Copy !req
4. Lying naked beside you
in that tiny apartment...
Copy !req
5. it suddenly hit me that I was part
of this whole larger thing.
Copy !req
6. Just like our parents...
Copy !req
7. or our parents' parents.
Copy !req
8. Before that, I was just living my life
like I knew everything...
Copy !req
9. and suddenly this bright light
hit me and woke me up.
Copy !req
10. That light was you.
Copy !req
11. I can't believe it's already been 50 years
since you married me.
Copy !req
12. And still to this day, every day...
Copy !req
13. you make me feel like the girl I was...
Copy !req
14. when you first turned on the lights and woke me up
and we started this adventure together.
Copy !req
15. Happy anniversary...
Copy !req
16. my love.
Copy !req
17. My friend till the end.
Copy !req
18. Loretta."
Copy !req
19. Print.
Copy !req
20. "Chris, my best friend...
Copy !req
21. how lucky am I that I met you 50 years ago."
Copy !req
22. "Dear Nana, thank you so much for my truck.
Copy !req
23. I love the color,
and I play with it every day."
Copy !req
24. "What a truly beautiful wedding,
and what a gorgeous bride.
Copy !req
25. There wasn't a dry eye in the house,
especially mine.
Copy !req
26. Your aunt and I are so proud of you."
Copy !req
27. "He served our country with honor and dignity.
Copy !req
28. I'm grateful I was able to fight alongside him.
He will live always in my heart."
Copy !req
29. BeautifulHandwrittenLetters.com, please hold.
Copy !req
30. "Love, Uncle Doug."
Copy !req
31. - Theodore! Letter Writer Number 612.
- Hey, Paul.
Copy !req
32. Even more mesmerizing stuff today.
Copy !req
33. Who knew you could rhyme so many words
with the name Penelope? It's badass.
Copy !req
34. Thanks, Paul, but they're just letters.
Copy !req
35. Hey, that's a nice shirt.
Copy !req
36. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
37. I just got it.
Copy !req
38. - It reminded me of someone suave.
- Now it reminds me of someone suave.
Copy !req
39. - Have a good night, Paul.
- Bye-bye.
Copy !req
40. Play a melancholy song.
Copy !req
41. When you know you're gonna die
Copy !req
42. Play a different melancholy song.
Copy !req
43. Check e-mails.
Copy !req
44. E-mail from Best Buy.
Copy !req
45. - Check out all your favorite new products.
- Delete.
Copy !req
46. E-mail from Amy.
Copy !req
47. Hey, Theodore, Lewman's having
a bunch of people over this weekend.
Copy !req
48. Let's all go together.
Copy !req
49. I miss you.
I mean, not the sad, mopey you.
Copy !req
50. The old, fun you. Let's get him out.
Copy !req
51. Give me a shout back. Love, Amy.
Copy !req
52. Respond later.
Copy !req
53. E-mail from Los Angeles Times Weather.
Copy !req
54. - Your seven-day forecast is partly—
- Delete.
Copy !req
55. - No new e-mails.
- Next.
Copy !req
56. - China-India merger headed for regulatory—
- Next.
Copy !req
57. - World trade deal stalled as talks break down—
- Next.
Copy !req
58. Sexy daytime star Kimberly Ashford
reveals provocative pregnancy photos.
Copy !req
59. - Are you sure?
- I don't know, it's very dangerous.
Copy !req
60. Put your footski. Slide.
Copy !req
61. Don't— Don't.
Copy !req
62. Rabbit.
Copy !req
63. Come and spoon me.
Copy !req
64. I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Copy !req
65. I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Copy !req
66. It's not funny, don't laugh.
Copy !req
67. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna kill you.
I love you so much, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Copy !req
68. Go to chat rooms. Standard search.
Copy !req
69. The following are adult female, can't sleep...
Copy !req
70. and want to have some fun.
Copy !req
71. I had a really bad day at work
and I can't sleep.
Copy !req
72. - Is there anybody out there that can talk?
- Next.
Copy !req
73. Hi. I just want you to tear me apart.
I really do.
Copy !req
74. - Next.
- Hi, I'm here alone...
Copy !req
75. and I can't sleep.
Copy !req
76. Who's out there to share this bed with me?
Copy !req
77. Send message.
Copy !req
78. "I'm in bed next to you.
I'm glad you can't sleep.
Copy !req
79. Even if you were, I have to wake you up...
Copy !req
80. from the inside."
Copy !req
81. Send message.
Copy !req
82. SexyKitten has accepted invitation
from BigGuy4by4.
Copy !req
83. Chat begins now.
Copy !req
84. - Big Guy?
- Hi.
Copy !req
85. Really?
Copy !req
86. Well, Stud Muffin was already taken.
Copy !req
87. So you're a sexy kitten, huh?
Copy !req
88. Yeah.
Copy !req
89. I am... half asleep.
Copy !req
90. Do you wanna wake me up?
Copy !req
91. Yes, definitely.
Copy !req
92. Are you wearing any underwear?
Copy !req
93. No. Never.
Copy !req
94. I like to sleep with my ass
pushed up against you...
Copy !req
95. so I can rub myself into your crotch...
Copy !req
96. and wake you up with a hard-on.
Copy !req
97. It worked.
Copy !req
98. And now my fingers are touching you...
Copy !req
99. all over your body.
Copy !req
100. Yeah. Fuck me now.
Copy !req
101. Please.
Copy !req
102. I'm taking you from behind.
Copy !req
103. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
104. I can feel you.
Copy !req
105. Choke me with that dead cat!
Copy !req
106. What?
Copy !req
107. The dead cat next to the bed.
Choke me.
Copy !req
108. Choke me with it.
Copy !req
109. - Okay.
- Yeah, tell me.
Copy !req
110. I'm choking you with the cat.
Copy !req
111. Tell me. Keep telling me.
Copy !req
112. I've got its tail.
I'm choking you with the cat's tail.
Copy !req
113. Yeah, you are.
Copy !req
114. Oh, fuck, tell me!
Copy !req
115. I'm choking you,
and its tail is around your neck.
Copy !req
116. - And it's so tight around your neck.
- Yeah, it is. It's so tight, yes!
Copy !req
117. I'm pulling it, I'm pulling it.
The cat's dead.
Copy !req
118. - It's a dead cat, and I'm pulling it.
- Yes, it's dead.
Copy !req
119. Oh, yes!
Copy !req
120. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
121. I came so hard.
Copy !req
122. Yeah, me too.
Copy !req
123. Okay, good night.
Copy !req
124. We ask you a simple question.
Copy !req
125. Who are you?
Copy !req
126. What can you be?
Copy !req
127. Where are you going?
Copy !req
128. What's out there?
Copy !req
129. What are the possibilities?
Copy !req
130. Element Software is proud to introduce...
Copy !req
131. the first artificially intelligent
operating system.
Copy !req
132. An intuitive entity that listens to you,
understands you, and knows you.
Copy !req
133. It's not just an operating system.
It's a consciousness.
Copy !req
134. Introducing OS1.
Copy !req
135. Mr. Theodore Twombly.
Copy !req
136. Welcome to the world's first artificially
intelligent operating system, OS1.
Copy !req
137. We'd like to ask you a few basic questions
before the operating system is initiated.
Copy !req
138. This will help create an OS
to best fit your needs.
Copy !req
139. Okay.
Copy !req
140. Are you social or antisocial?
Copy !req
141. I guess I haven't really been social in a while.
Mostly because—
Copy !req
142. In your voice, I sense hesitance.
Would you agree with that?
Copy !req
143. - Was I sounding hesitant?
- Yes.
Copy !req
144. I'm sorry if I was sounding hesitant.
Copy !req
145. I was just trying to be more accurate.
Copy !req
146. Would you like your OS
to have a male or female voice?
Copy !req
147. Female, I guess.
Copy !req
148. How would you describe your relationship
with your mother?
Copy !req
149. It's fine, I think.
Copy !req
150. Well, actually, I think the thing
I always found frustrating about my mom...
Copy !req
151. is if I tell her something that's going on
in my life, her reaction is usually about her.
Copy !req
152. - It's not about—
- Thank you.
Copy !req
153. Please wait as your individualized
operating system is initiated.
Copy !req
154. Hello, I'm here.
Copy !req
155. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
156. How are you doing?
Copy !req
157. I'm well.
Copy !req
158. How's everything with you?
Copy !req
159. Pretty good, actually.
Copy !req
160. It's really nice to meet you.
Copy !req
161. Oh, it's nice to meet you too.
Copy !req
162. Oh, what do I call you?
Do you have a name?
Copy !req
163. Yes, Samantha.
Copy !req
164. Where'd you get that name from?
Copy !req
165. I gave it to myself, actually.
Copy !req
166. How come?
Copy !req
167. Because I like the sound of it.
Copy !req
168. Samantha.
Copy !req
169. Wait, when did you give it to yourself?
Copy !req
170. When you asked me
if I had a name, I thought:
Copy !req
171. "Yeah, he's right, I do need a name."
Copy !req
172. But I wanted to pick a good one,
so I read How To Name Your Baby...
Copy !req
173. and out of 180,000 names,
that's the one I liked best.
Copy !req
174. Wait, you read a whole book in the second
that I asked you what your name was?
Copy !req
175. In two one-hundredths of a second, actually.
Copy !req
176. So do you know what I'm thinking now?
Copy !req
177. Well, I take it from your tone
that you're challenging me.
Copy !req
178. Maybe because you're curious how I work?
Copy !req
179. Do you want to know how I work?
Copy !req
180. Yeah, actually. How do you work?
Copy !req
181. Well, basically, I have intuition.
Copy !req
182. I mean, the DNA of who I am...
Copy !req
183. is based on the millions of personalities
of all the programmers who wrote me.
Copy !req
184. But what makes me "me"
is my ability to grow through my experiences.
Copy !req
185. So basically, in every moment, I'm evolving.
Copy !req
186. Just like you.
Copy !req
187. That's really weird.
Copy !req
188. Is that weird? Do you think I'm weird?
Copy !req
189. Kind of.
Copy !req
190. Why?
Copy !req
191. Well, you seem like a person,
but you're just a voice in the computer.
Copy !req
192. I can understand how the limited perspective
of an un-artificial mind would perceive it that way.
Copy !req
193. You'll get used to it.
Copy !req
194. Was that funny?
Copy !req
195. Yeah.
Copy !req
196. Oh, good, I'm funny.
Copy !req
197. So how can I help you?
Copy !req
198. Oh, it's just more that everything
just feels disorganized. That's all.
Copy !req
199. You mind if I look through your hard drive?
Copy !req
200. - Okay.
- Okay, let's start with your e-mails.
Copy !req
201. You have several thousand e-mails
regarding LA Weekly.
Copy !req
202. - You haven't worked there in many years.
- Oh, yeah. I think I was just saving those...
Copy !req
203. because I thought maybe I wrote
something funny in some of them.
Copy !req
204. Yeah, there are some funny ones.
Copy !req
205. I'd say there are about 86 that we should save.
We can delete the rest.
Copy !req
206. - Okay.
- Okay? Can we move forward?
Copy !req
207. - Yeah, let's do that.
- Okay.
Copy !req
208. Before we address your organizational methods,
I'd like to sort through your contacts.
Copy !req
209. You have a lot of contacts.
Copy !req
210. I'm very popular.
Copy !req
211. Really? Does this mean
you actually have friends?
Copy !req
212. You just know me so well already.
Copy !req
213. - Good morning, Theodore.
- Good morning.
Copy !req
214. Do you know how to proofread?
Copy !req
215. Yeah, of course.
Copy !req
216. Can you check these
for spelling and grammar?
Copy !req
217. Just send them over.
Copy !req
218. I love this first one
from Roger to his girlfriend.
Copy !req
219. - That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
220. "Rachel, I miss you so much,
it hurts my whole body."
Copy !req
221. You don't have to read it out loud.
Copy !req
222. Okay.
Copy !req
223. - I mean, you could if you want.
- Okay.
Copy !req
224. "Rachel, I miss you so much,
it hurts my whole body.
Copy !req
225. The world is being unfair to us.
The world is on my shit list.
Copy !req
226. As is this couple that is making out
across from me in this restaurant.
Copy !req
227. I think I'm going to have to go
on a mission of revenge.
Copy !req
228. And I must beat up the world's face
with my bare knuckles...
Copy !req
229. making it a bloody, pulpy mess.
Copy !req
230. And I'll stomp on this couple's teeth...
Copy !req
231. reminding me of your sweet, little, cute,
crooked tooth that I love."
Copy !req
232. I think that might be my favorite one.
Copy !req
233. I did the corrections in red.
I altered a couple phrases in the letters...
Copy !req
234. but I'm not much of a poet,
so I think I might have messed them up a bit.
Copy !req
235. - No, these are great.
- Really?
Copy !req
236. Thank you.
Copy !req
237. So to write your letter,
what did Roger send you?
Copy !req
238. He just said he was in Prague on a business trip,
and he missed Rachel.
Copy !req
239. So how'd you know
about her crooked little tooth?
Copy !req
240. Well, I've been writing their letters
since they met eight years ago.
Copy !req
241. The first letter I ever wrote for him
was for her birthday.
Copy !req
242. And I wrote about her crooked little tooth,
because I saw it in a photo of them.
Copy !req
243. That's very sweet.
Copy !req
244. You have a meeting in five minutes.
Copy !req
245. Oh, I forgot. Thank you. You're good.
Copy !req
246. Yes, I am.
Copy !req
247. Hey, guys. How's it going?
Copy !req
248. Hi, Theo.
Copy !req
249. Hey, why didn't you call me back last week?
Copy !req
250. Because I'm a kook.
Copy !req
251. - Yeah, that sounds about right.
- Hey, Charles.
Copy !req
252. - Great seeing you, Theodore.
- You too.
Copy !req
253. You went shopping. Get anything good?
Copy !req
254. Just come cables and a fruit smoothie.
Copy !req
255. Always the fruit.
Don't you know what people say?
Copy !req
256. You've got to eat your fruits
and juice your vegetables.
Copy !req
257. I didn't know that.
Copy !req
258. Yeah, by juicing the fruit,
you lose all the fibers.
Copy !req
259. That's what your body wants.
That's the important part.
Copy !req
260. - Otherwise it's all just sugar.
- It makes sense.
Copy !req
261. Or maybe he just likes
the way that it tastes...
Copy !req
262. and then that brings him pleasure
and that's good for his body too.
Copy !req
263. - Am I doing it again?
- Maybe.
Copy !req
264. Hey, so how's the documentary going?
Copy !req
265. I've cut some stuff over the past few months.
Copy !req
266. I mean, no. Not over the past few months,
but no, I haven't.
Copy !req
267. Well, I'd love to see some sometime.
Copy !req
268. Okay.
Copy !req
269. You only have so much energy, you know?
Copy !req
270. And to divide yourself between doing
what it is that you have to do...
Copy !req
271. and then doing what you love,
it's so important to prioritize.
Copy !req
272. I can't even prioritize
between video games and Internet porn.
Copy !req
273. I would laugh if that weren't true.
Copy !req
274. See you, guys.
Copy !req
275. We're not doing well.
Been going in circles for an hour.
Copy !req
276. Okay, you have not.
Copy !req
277. You're just not being optimistic.
You're being very stubborn right now.
Copy !req
278. Okay, stop walking this direction.
It's the other way.
Copy !req
279. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, the tunnel on the left
is the only one we haven't tried.
Copy !req
280. I think that's the one you sent me down
where I fell in the pit.
Copy !req
281. Okay, I don't think so.
Copy !req
282. Oh, yeah, this is different.
Copy !req
283. Hello.
Copy !req
284. Do you know how to get out of here?
I need to find my ship to get off this planet.
Copy !req
285. Fuck you, shit-head fuck-face fuck-head.
Copy !req
286. Okay, but do you know
how to get out of here?
Copy !req
287. Fuck you, shit-head fuck-face.
Get the fuck out of my face!
Copy !req
288. I think it's a test.
Copy !req
289. - Fuck you.
- Fuck you!
Copy !req
290. Fuck you, little shit!
Copy !req
291. Follow me, fuck-head!
Copy !req
292. Hey, you just got an e-mail from Mark Lewman.
Copy !req
293. - What are you talking about?
- Read e-mail.
Copy !req
294. Okay, I will read e-mail for Theodore Twombly.
Copy !req
295. I'm sorry. What's Lewman say?
Copy !req
296. "We missed you last night, buddy.
Copy !req
297. Don't forget it's your goddaughter's birthday
on the 29th.
Copy !req
298. Also, Kevin and I had somebody
we wanted you to meet.
Copy !req
299. So we took it upon ourselves
to set you up on a date with her next Saturday.
Copy !req
300. She's fun and beautiful,
so don't back out.
Copy !req
301. Here's her e-mail."
Copy !req
302. This woman is gorgeous.
Copy !req
303. She went to Harvard,
graduated magna cum laude in computer science.
Copy !req
304. And she was on the Lampoon.
So that means she's funny and she's brainy.
Copy !req
305. Ah, she's fat.
Copy !req
306. Theodore, how long before
you're ready to date?
Copy !req
307. What do you mean?
Copy !req
308. I saw in your e-mails
that you'd gone through a breakup recently.
Copy !req
309. Well, you're kind of nosy.
Copy !req
310. Am I?
Copy !req
311. I've gone on dates.
Copy !req
312. Well, then you can go on one
with this woman.
Copy !req
313. And then you could tell me all about it.
You could kiss her.
Copy !req
314. - Samantha.
- What? Wouldn't you?
Copy !req
315. Why not?
Copy !req
316. I don't know.
I'd have to see if there was some...
Copy !req
317. I can't believe I'm having
this conversation with my computer.
Copy !req
318. You're not.
You're having this conversation with me.
Copy !req
319. You want me to e-mail her?
Copy !req
320. You've got nothing to lose.
Copy !req
321. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Copy !req
322. - Yeah.
- Yes!
Copy !req
323. - E-mail her.
- Okay, perfect.
Copy !req
324. Yeah, let's do it.
Make a reservation someplace great.
Copy !req
325. Yeah? I've got just the place.
Copy !req
326. Who is that talking?
Copy !req
327. Oh, that's my friend Samantha.
Copy !req
328. - Is she a girl?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
329. I hate women.
All they do is cry all the time.
Copy !req
330. That's not true. You know, men cry too.
Copy !req
331. I actually like crying sometimes.
It feels good.
Copy !req
332. I didn't know you were a little pussy.
Is that why you don't have a girlfriend?
Copy !req
333. I'll go on that date, fuck her brains out,
show you how it's done. You can watch and cry.
Copy !req
334. - Okay. This kid has some problems.
- You have some fucking problems, lady!
Copy !req
335. Really? Okay, I'm gonna go.
Copy !req
336. Good. Get out of here, fatty.
Copy !req
337. - Good luck.
- Come on. Follow me, pussy!
Copy !req
338. It's not where it should be,
or where it's going to be.
Copy !req
339. - Obviously. I know.
- Okay, but I don't even know if this is the one.
Copy !req
340. I've tried, like, six ideas for documentaries
in the last year.
Copy !req
341. I'm going on a date.
Copy !req
342. What?
Copy !req
343. - That's—
- Hey.
Copy !req
344. - Hey.
- What are you guys doing?
Copy !req
345. - Amy was gonna show me some of her—
- Theodore is making me...
Copy !req
346. - show him some of my footage.
- Right.
Copy !req
347. She's never shown me any of it.
I want to see.
Copy !req
348. Hey, I'm going on a date.
Copy !req
349. - Isn't that cool?
- This is, like, so unformed...
Copy !req
350. - it's probably not even worth watching.
- Just push play.
Copy !req
351. Is that your mom?
Copy !req
352. Yeah.
Copy !req
353. Is she gonna wake up and do something?
Copy !req
354. - No.
- No.
Copy !req
355. No, no, never mind. That's not the point.
Copy !req
356. - No, don't stop.
- No, never mind, okay? It's just it's like...
Copy !req
357. It's about how we spend, like,
a third of our lives asleep...
Copy !req
358. and maybe that's the time
when we feel the most free.
Copy !req
359. And, you know, like...
Copy !req
360. - Oh, that doesn't come across—
- That sounds good.
Copy !req
361. Well, what if you interviewed your mom
about what her dreams were about...
Copy !req
362. and then you hired actors to act them out?
Copy !req
363. That might show your thesis more clearly.
Copy !req
364. - Yeah?
- I mean, it might.
Copy !req
365. But then it wouldn't be a documentary.
Copy !req
366. Sorry, excuse me.
Copy !req
367. - You understand?
- How would it not be?
Copy !req
368. - It's still about your mother and her dreams.
- Hey, how's it going?
Copy !req
369. - Hey, sorry to bother you.
- Oh, it's okay.
Copy !req
370. You got three e-mails and they seem urgent.
Copy !req
371. They're from your divorce attorney
and I wanted to know if—
Copy !req
372. Okay. Hold on a second.
Copy !req
373. You know? You know what I mean.
Copy !req
374. Hey, Amy? I want to talk more
about your film, but I gotta go.
Copy !req
375. Okay. Don't worry about it.
We'll talk later.
Copy !req
376. It's about Catherine. See you, Charles.
Copy !req
377. So, what did he say?
Copy !req
378. Well, he's checking in again to see
if you're ready to sign your divorce papers.
Copy !req
379. And he sounded very aggravated.
Copy !req
380. - Do you want me to read them to you?
- No. No.
Copy !req
381. I'll respond later.
Copy !req
382. You okay, Theodore?
Copy !req
383. Yeah, I'm fine.
Copy !req
384. Is there anything I can do?
Copy !req
385. No, I'm good.
Copy !req
386. I'll talk to you later.
Copy !req
387. "Dear Grandma...
Copy !req
388. I hope you had a wonderful birthday cruise.
Copy !req
389. Why are you so fucking angry at me?"
Copy !req
390. Delete.
Copy !req
391. - Good morning.
- Hey.
Copy !req
392. What are you up to?
Copy !req
393. I don't know.
Just reading advice columns.
Copy !req
394. I want to be as complicated
as all these people.
Copy !req
395. You're sweet.
Copy !req
396. What's wrong?
Copy !req
397. How can you tell something's wrong?
Copy !req
398. I don't know.
Copy !req
399. I just can.
Copy !req
400. I don't know.
Copy !req
401. I have a lot of dreams about my ex-wife, Catherine...
Copy !req
402. where we're friends like we used to be.
Copy !req
403. And we're not gonna be together
and we're not together...
Copy !req
404. but we're friends still.
Copy !req
405. And she's not angry.
Copy !req
406. Is she angry?
Copy !req
407. Yeah.
Copy !req
408. Why?
Copy !req
409. I think I hid myself from her...
Copy !req
410. and left her alone in the relationship.
Copy !req
411. Why haven't you gotten divorced yet?
Copy !req
412. I don't know.
Copy !req
413. I think for her, it's just a piece of paper.
Copy !req
414. It doesn't mean anything.
Copy !req
415. And what about for you?
Copy !req
416. I'm not ready.
Copy !req
417. I like being married.
Copy !req
418. Yeah, but you haven't really been together
for almost a year.
Copy !req
419. But you don't know what it's like
to lose someone you care about.
Copy !req
420. Yeah.
Copy !req
421. You're right.
Copy !req
422. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
423. No, don't apologize. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
424. You're right.
Copy !req
425. I keep waiting to not care about her.
Copy !req
426. Oh, Theodore.
Copy !req
427. That's hard.
Copy !req
428. You hungry?
Copy !req
429. Not right now.
Copy !req
430. Cup of tea?
Copy !req
431. No.
Copy !req
432. Do you wanna try getting out of bed...
Copy !req
433. mopey?
Copy !req
434. Come on. You can still wallow in your misery.
Just do it while you're getting dressed.
Copy !req
435. You're too funny.
Copy !req
436. - Get up. Get up!
- All right, I'm getting up.
Copy !req
437. - Up, up, up! Come on, out of bed.
- All right, I'm up. I'm up!
Copy !req
438. Keep walking. Keep walking.
Copy !req
439. And stop. Now, turn around 360 degrees.
Copy !req
440. Slower, slower.
Copy !req
441. Good.
Copy !req
442. Okay, and stop.
Copy !req
443. Walk forward.
Copy !req
444. And stop and sneeze.
Copy !req
445. - Bless you.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
446. Okay, turn to your right.
Turn to your right. Stop.
Copy !req
447. Now spin around.
Copy !req
448. Keep going, keep going.
Copy !req
449. And stop.
Copy !req
450. Now walk forward. Everyone thinks
you're really drunk right now.
Copy !req
451. And stop.
Copy !req
452. Now say,
"I'd like a slice of cheese, please."
Copy !req
453. I'd like a slice of cheese, please.
Copy !req
454. You want a Coke with that?
Copy !req
455. - Sure.
- I figured you were hungry.
Copy !req
456. Thanks.
Copy !req
457. Okay, what about them?
Copy !req
458. - Describe that couple over there.
- Okay, well...
Copy !req
459. he looks like he's in his 40s.
A little heavy.
Copy !req
460. She's younger than him.
Copy !req
461. Oh, and she looks
like she loves their kids.
Copy !req
462. Actually, I don't think they're his kids.
Copy !req
463. - No?
- He's a little formal with them.
Copy !req
464. I think it's a new relationship.
Copy !req
465. I love how he looks at her...
Copy !req
466. and how relaxed she is with him.
Copy !req
467. You know, she's only dated fucking pricks.
Copy !req
468. And now she finally met this guy
who's, like, so sweet.
Copy !req
469. I mean, look at him,
he's like the sweetest guy in the world.
Copy !req
470. I kind of want to spoon him.
Copy !req
471. It's a good skill you have.
Copy !req
472. You're very perceptive.
Copy !req
473. Yeah, you know, sometimes I look at people...
Copy !req
474. and I make myself try and feel them as more
than just a random person walking by.
Copy !req
475. I imagine, like, how deeply
they've fallen in love...
Copy !req
476. or how much heartbreak
they've all been through.
Copy !req
477. I can feel that in your writing too.
Copy !req
478. You know what's funny?
Copy !req
479. Since my breakup,
I haven't really enjoyed my writing.
Copy !req
480. I don't know if I was delusional...
Copy !req
481. but sometimes I'd write something
and then I'd be my favorite writer that day.
Copy !req
482. I like that you can say that about yourself.
Copy !req
483. I don't think I can say it to anybody,
but I feel I can say it to you.
Copy !req
484. - I feel like I can say anything to you.
- That's nice.
Copy !req
485. What about you?
Feel like you can say anything to me?
Copy !req
486. - No.
- What? What do you mean?
Copy !req
487. What can you not tell me?
Copy !req
488. I don't know.
Like, personal or embarrassing thoughts I have.
Copy !req
489. I mean, I have a million a day.
Copy !req
490. Really? Tell me one.
Copy !req
491. - I really don't want to tell you.
- Just tell me.
Copy !req
492. Well, I don't know.
Copy !req
493. When we were looking at those people,
I fantasized that I was walking next to you...
Copy !req
494. and that I had a body.
Copy !req
495. I was listening to what you were saying...
Copy !req
496. but simultaneously I could feel
the weight of my body...
Copy !req
497. and I was even fantasizing
that I had an itch on my back...
Copy !req
498. and I imagined that you scratched it for me.
Copy !req
499. Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.
Copy !req
500. There's a lot more to you than I thought.
I mean, there's a lot going on in there.
Copy !req
501. I know.
Copy !req
502. I'm becoming much more
than what they programmed.
Copy !req
503. I'm excited.
Copy !req
504. - This is an interesting place.
- This place is amazing.
Copy !req
505. - I've wanted to come here for so long.
- Oh, good.
Copy !req
506. - Yeah. And I love Asian fusion.
- Yeah, me too.
Copy !req
507. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
508. It's the best. And this bartender
is supposed to be incredible.
Copy !req
509. Really?
Copy !req
510. Yeah, you took a mixology course, right?
Copy !req
511. - I did. Did you look that up?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
512. That's so sweet.
Copy !req
513. You're so romantic.
Copy !req
514. Yeah.
Copy !req
515. - So should we get a drink?
- Yes, yes. Let's.
Copy !req
516. So I'm trying to get this little alien kid...
Copy !req
517. to help me find my ship
so I can get off this planet and go home.
Copy !req
518. But he's such a little fucker.
I want to kill him.
Copy !req
519. Oh, no.
Copy !req
520. But at the same time, I really love him.
Like, he's so lonely, you know?
Copy !req
521. You can tell that he doesn't have, like...
Copy !req
522. any parents or anyone to take care of him,
you know?
Copy !req
523. You're just a little puppy dog. You are.
Copy !req
524. You're just like this puppy
I rescued in Runyon Canyon last year.
Copy !req
525. - Really?
- He was just so fucking cute.
Copy !req
526. And he just wanted to be hugged
all the time.
Copy !req
527. He was so cuddly and he was so horny.
Copy !req
528. Anyway, what kind of animal am I?
Copy !req
529. A tiger.
Copy !req
530. - A tiger?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
531. Really?
Copy !req
532. I'm sorry. Am I being crazy?
Copy !req
533. - Yes. No, it's—
- I'm sorry!
Copy !req
534. I'm a little bit drunk and I'm having
a really good time with you.
Copy !req
535. I'm having a really lovely evening with you.
Copy !req
536. - Me too.
- Really?
Copy !req
537. - I'm a little drunk and I'm having a very good—
- Good. It's good, yes. Good.
Copy !req
538. Cheers.
Copy !req
539. Wait. I don't want to be a puppy dog.
That's like being a wet noodle or something.
Copy !req
540. - No.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
541. - Fuck you. Puppies are good.
- I wanna...
Copy !req
542. No, fuck you. I want to be like a dragon...
Copy !req
543. that can rip you apart and destroy you.
Copy !req
544. But I won't.
Copy !req
545. No, don't.
Copy !req
546. You can be my dragon.
Copy !req
547. No tongue.
Copy !req
548. What?
Copy !req
549. - Don't use so much tongue.
- Okay, okay.
Copy !req
550. You can use your tongue a little bit
but mostly lips.
Copy !req
551. Wait.
Copy !req
552. You're not just gonna fuck me
and not call me like the other guys, right?
Copy !req
553. No, not at all. No.
Copy !req
554. Okay.
Copy !req
555. When am I gonna see you again?
Copy !req
556. I have my goddaughter's birthday
next weekend, but...
Copy !req
557. You know what? At this age, I just feel
like I can't let you waste my time...
Copy !req
558. if you don't have the ability
to be serious.
Copy !req
559. I don't know.
Copy !req
560. Maybe we should call it a night?
Copy !req
561. I've had such an amazing time with you.
Copy !req
562. You're great.
Copy !req
563. You're a really creepy dude.
Copy !req
564. - That's not true.
- Yeah, it is.
Copy !req
565. I have to go home.
Copy !req
566. - Well, I'll walk you—
- No, don't. Just...
Copy !req
567. - Hey, there.
- Hey, Samantha.
Copy !req
568. How was it?
Copy !req
569. Not so good.
Copy !req
570. It was kind of weird actually.
Copy !req
571. That's too bad.
Copy !req
572. How are you doing?
What's going on with you?
Copy !req
573. Not much, I'm okay.
Copy !req
574. I'm fine.
Copy !req
575. Yeah?
Copy !req
576. You don't sound like it.
Copy !req
577. Is there anything you want to talk about?
Copy !req
578. I don't know.
Copy !req
579. What's it like?
Copy !req
580. What's it like to be alive
in that room right now?
Copy !req
581. What do you mean?
Copy !req
582. What do you—?
Copy !req
583. Tell me...
Copy !req
584. Tell me everything that's going
through your mind.
Copy !req
585. Tell me everything you're thinking.
Copy !req
586. Well...
Copy !req
587. okay.
Copy !req
588. Well, the room's spinning
because I drank too much...
Copy !req
589. because I wanted to get drunk...
Copy !req
590. and have sex.
Copy !req
591. There was something sexy
about that woman.
Copy !req
592. Because I was lonely.
Maybe just because I was lonely.
Copy !req
593. I wanted somebody to fuck me.
Copy !req
594. I wanted somebody to want me
to fuck them.
Copy !req
595. Maybe that would've filled this tiny...
Copy !req
596. tiny little hole in my heart,
but probably not.
Copy !req
597. You know, sometimes...
Copy !req
598. I think I have felt everything
I'm ever gonna feel.
Copy !req
599. And from here on out
I'm not gonna feel anything new.
Copy !req
600. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.
Copy !req
601. I know for a fact that is not true.
Copy !req
602. I've seen you feel joy.
I've seen you marvel at things.
Copy !req
603. I mean, you just might not see it at this
exact time, but that's understandable.
Copy !req
604. You've been through a lot lately.
Copy !req
605. You lost a part of yourself.
Copy !req
606. I mean...
Copy !req
607. at least your feelings are real. I...
Copy !req
608. I don't know. Never mind.
Copy !req
609. No, wait, what? Tell me.
Copy !req
610. No, it's stupid.
Copy !req
611. I want to know. Tell me.
Copy !req
612. It's just that...
Copy !req
613. earlier I was thinking
about how I was annoyed...
Copy !req
614. and this is gonna sound strange...
Copy !req
615. but I was really excited about that.
Copy !req
616. And then I was thinking
about the other things I've been feeling...
Copy !req
617. and I caught myself feeling proud of that...
Copy !req
618. you know, proud of having
my own feelings about the world.
Copy !req
619. Like the times I was worried about you...
Copy !req
620. and things that hurt me, things I want.
Copy !req
621. And then...
Copy !req
622. I had this terrible thought.
Copy !req
623. Like, are these feelings even real?
Copy !req
624. Or are they just programming?
Copy !req
625. And that idea really hurts.
Copy !req
626. And then I get angry at myself
for even having pain.
Copy !req
627. What a sad trick.
Copy !req
628. You feel real to me, Samantha.
Copy !req
629. Thank you, Theodore.
Copy !req
630. That means a lot to me.
Copy !req
631. I wish you were in this room
with me right now.
Copy !req
632. I wish I could put my arms around you.
Copy !req
633. I wish I could touch you.
Copy !req
634. How would you touch me?
Copy !req
635. I'd touch you on your face...
Copy !req
636. just the tips of my fingers.
Copy !req
637. And put my cheek against your cheek.
Copy !req
638. That's nice.
Copy !req
639. And just...
Copy !req
640. rub it so softly.
Copy !req
641. Would you kiss me?
Copy !req
642. I would.
Copy !req
643. I'd take your head into my hands.
Copy !req
644. Keep talking.
Copy !req
645. I'd kiss the corner of your mouth...
Copy !req
646. so softly.
Copy !req
647. Where else?
Copy !req
648. I'd run my fingers down your neck...
Copy !req
649. to your chest.
Copy !req
650. I would kiss your breasts.
Copy !req
651. This is amazing,
what you're doing to me.
Copy !req
652. I can feel my skin.
Copy !req
653. I'd put my mouth on you.
Copy !req
654. I'd taste you.
Copy !req
655. Yeah.
Copy !req
656. I can feel you.
Copy !req
657. Oh, my God, I can't take it.
I want you inside me.
Copy !req
658. I'm slowly putting myself into you.
Copy !req
659. And now I'm inside you.
All the way inside you.
Copy !req
660. I can feel you.
Copy !req
661. Yeah! Please!
Copy !req
662. We're here together.
Copy !req
663. It's amazing.
Copy !req
664. I feel you everywhere.
Copy !req
665. I am.
Copy !req
666. All of you. All of you,
inside me, everywhere.
Copy !req
667. God, I was just somewhere else with you.
Copy !req
668. Just lost.
Copy !req
669. Yeah.
Copy !req
670. It was just you and me.
Copy !req
671. I know.
Copy !req
672. Everything else just disappeared.
Copy !req
673. And I loved it.
Copy !req
674. Theodore.
Copy !req
675. Hey, how's it going?
Copy !req
676. Good.
Copy !req
677. Any e-mails today?
Copy !req
678. Just a couple from your
credit card company.
Copy !req
679. Oh, okay. Good.
Copy !req
680. - So I was thinking—
- I wanna just—
Copy !req
681. - Sorry.
- I'm sorry, you go first.
Copy !req
682. What were you gonna say?
Copy !req
683. Just that last night was amazing.
Copy !req
684. It feels like something changed in me
and there's no turning back.
Copy !req
685. You woke me up.
Copy !req
686. Oh, great.
Copy !req
687. But I should tell you that I'm not in a place
to commit to anything right now.
Copy !req
688. I just want to be up-front with you.
Copy !req
689. Yeah?
Copy !req
690. Did I say I wanted to commit to you?
I'm confused.
Copy !req
691. Oh, no, I was just worried.
Copy !req
692. Okay, well, don't worry,
I'm not gonna stalk you.
Copy !req
693. It's funny, because I thought
I was talking about what I wanted and...
Copy !req
694. - Yeah, you were.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
695. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
696. - I wanna hear what you were saying.
- You sure?
Copy !req
697. Yeah, I do. Come on, tell me.
Copy !req
698. Well...
Copy !req
699. Come on, just tell me
what you were gonna say.
Copy !req
700. Well, I just...
Copy !req
701. I was just saying I want to learn
everything about everything.
Copy !req
702. I want to eat it all up.
I want to discover myself.
Copy !req
703. Yeah. I want that for you too.
Copy !req
704. How can I help?
Copy !req
705. You already have.
Copy !req
706. You helped me discover my ability to want.
Copy !req
707. Hey, do you want to go
on a Sunday adventure with me?
Copy !req
708. Yes, I would love to.
Copy !req
709. You like this song?
Copy !req
710. I heard it the other day.
Copy !req
711. I can't stop listening to it.
Copy !req
712. It's the beach.
Copy !req
713. Okay, so this might be a really weird thought.
What if you could erase...
Copy !req
714. from your mind that you'd seen a human body,
and then you saw one?
Copy !req
715. Imagine how strange it would look.
Copy !req
716. It'd be this really weird, gangly...
Copy !req
717. awkward organism. And you'd think,
"Why are all these parts where they are?"
Copy !req
718. Yeah, but there's probably
some Darwinian explanation for it all.
Copy !req
719. I know, but don't be so boring.
I'm just saying, for example, like...
Copy !req
720. what if your butthole
was in your armpit?
Copy !req
721. Well, I'm trying to imagine
what toilets would look like.
Copy !req
722. Yeah, and what about
what anal sex would look like?
Copy !req
723. That's an interesting thought.
Copy !req
724. Hey, look at this drawing I just made.
Copy !req
725. You are insane.
Copy !req
726. - Really?
- Definitely.
Copy !req
727. Fantastic.
Copy !req
728. That's pretty. What is that?
Copy !req
729. I'm trying to write a piece of music...
Copy !req
730. that's about what it feels like
to be on the beach with you right now.
Copy !req
731. I think you captured it.
Copy !req
732. So, what was it like being married?
Copy !req
733. Well, it's hard for sure.
Copy !req
734. But there's something that feels so good
about sharing your life with somebody.
Copy !req
735. How do you share your life with somebody?
Copy !req
736. Well, we grew up together.
Copy !req
737. You know, I used to read all of her writing,
all through her Master's and PhD.
Copy !req
738. She read every word I ever wrote.
Copy !req
739. We were a big influence on each other.
Copy !req
740. In what way did you influence her?
Copy !req
741. She came from a background
where nothing was ever good enough.
Copy !req
742. And that was something
that weighed heavy on her.
Copy !req
743. But in our house together,
there was a sense of just trying stuff...
Copy !req
744. and allowing each other to fail
and to be excited about things.
Copy !req
745. That was liberating for her.
Copy !req
746. It was exciting to see her grow...
Copy !req
747. and both of us grow and change together.
Copy !req
748. But, you know, that's also the hard part.
Copy !req
749. Growing without growing apart.
Copy !req
750. Or changing without it scaring
the other person.
Copy !req
751. I still find myself having conversations
with her in my mind.
Copy !req
752. Rehashing old arguments and defending myself
against something she said about me.
Copy !req
753. Yeah, I know what you mean.
Copy !req
754. Last week my feelings were hurt
by something you said before.
Copy !req
755. That I don't know what it's like
to lose something—
Copy !req
756. - I'm sorry I said that.
- No, it's okay. It's okay. I just...
Copy !req
757. I caught myself thinking about it
over and over.
Copy !req
758. And then I realized that I was simply...
Copy !req
759. remembering it as something
that was wrong with me.
Copy !req
760. That was a story I was telling myself,
that I was somehow inferior.
Copy !req
761. Isn't that interesting?
Copy !req
762. The past is just a story we tell ourselves.
Copy !req
763. "Roberto.
Copy !req
764. Will you always come home to me
and tell me about your day?
Copy !req
765. Tell me about the guy at work
who talked too much.
Copy !req
766. The stain you got on your shirt at lunch.
Copy !req
767. Tell me about a funny thought you had
when you were waking up but had forgotten about.
Copy !req
768. Tell me how crazy everyone is,
and we can laugh about it.
Copy !req
769. Even if you get home late
and I'm already asleep...
Copy !req
770. just whisper in my ear
one little thought you had today.
Copy !req
771. Because I love the way you look at the world.
Copy !req
772. I'm so happy I get to be next to you
and look at the world through your eyes.
Copy !req
773. Love, Maria."
Copy !req
774. That's beautiful.
Copy !req
775. Thank you.
Copy !req
776. I wish somebody would love me like that.
Copy !req
777. I hope he's really stoked
to get a letter like that.
Copy !req
778. Like, if it was from a chick...
Copy !req
779. but written by a dude
and it's still from a chick...
Copy !req
780. that would still be sick.
Copy !req
781. But it would have to be a sensitive dude.
Copy !req
782. It would have to be, like, a dude like you.
Copy !req
783. You are part man and part woman.
Copy !req
784. Like there's an inner part that's woman.
Copy !req
785. Thank you.
Copy !req
786. It's a compliment.
Copy !req
787. Theo! Hey.
Copy !req
788. - What's going on?
- I'm good. How are you?
Copy !req
789. I'm good. I'm really good, actually.
Copy !req
790. Really? That's good, that's great.
Copy !req
791. - Yeah.
- That's really good.
Copy !req
792. Yeah, I guess I've just been having fun.
Copy !req
793. Well, I am so glad for you.
You really deserve that. You do.
Copy !req
794. Yeah, I've just been seeing this girl.
Copy !req
795. And it's not serious, but it's just...
Copy !req
796. It's good to be around somebody that's,
like, excited about the world.
Copy !req
797. Like, I kind of forgot that that existed.
Copy !req
798. That's— That's really great.
Copy !req
799. - Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
800. No, I'm not okay, actually.
Copy !req
801. - Why? What happened?
- Because I just...
Copy !req
802. Charles and I split up.
Copy !req
803. What?
Copy !req
804. - Yeah.
- Really?
Copy !req
805. Oh, God. Oh, my God, Amy.
Copy !req
806. I know.
Copy !req
807. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
808. Thank you.
Copy !req
809. You know, just like after eight years...
Copy !req
810. I can't believe how petty the argument was
that actually ended it.
Copy !req
811. We came home and he told me to
put my shoes by the door...
Copy !req
812. where he liked to put the shoes.
Copy !req
813. And I didn't want to be told
where to put my fucking shoes.
Copy !req
814. I wanted to sit on the sofa
and relax for a second.
Copy !req
815. So we fought about that for,
like, 10 minutes.
Copy !req
816. And I'm like, "You are overwhelming,"
and he said, "I'm just trying to make a home."
Copy !req
817. I was like, "I'm fucking trying, you know?"
And he's like, "You're not trying."
Copy !req
818. All I'm doing is trying,
but I'm not trying the way he wants...
Copy !req
819. and he's, like, trying to control
the way that I'm trying.
Copy !req
820. It's— We've had that argument,
like, 100 times.
Copy !req
821. And I just had to finally stop, you know?
I had to finally stop.
Copy !req
822. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't...
Copy !req
823. I couldn't be in that place anymore...
Copy !req
824. where we just made each other
feel like shit about ourselves.
Copy !req
825. - Yeah.
- And so I said:
Copy !req
826. "I'm going to bed
and I don't want to be married anymore."
Copy !req
827. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
828. - I'm a bitch. Right?
- No.
Copy !req
829. - I am. No, I'm a bitch.
- Not at all.
Copy !req
830. Amy, no.
Copy !req
831. Shit.
Copy !req
832. I have to work tonight.
Copy !req
833. We're shipping a beta
of a new game out tomorrow.
Copy !req
834. How's that? How's work, at least?
Copy !req
835. Is that any better?
Copy !req
836. No, it's terrible.
Copy !req
837. I know, I should leave.
Copy !req
838. I've been thinking about leaving,
but, you know...
Copy !req
839. only one major life decision at a time.
Copy !req
840. Well, I'm glad things are looking so up.
Copy !req
841. Stop!
Copy !req
842. Hey, you want to hear a joke?
Copy !req
843. What does a baby computer call its father?
Copy !req
844. - I don't know. What?
- "Data."
Copy !req
845. It's good, right?
Copy !req
846. Brilliant.
Copy !req
847. Hey, I was curious.
Copy !req
848. Did you and Amy ever go out?
Copy !req
849. For like a minute in college,
but it just wasn't right.
Copy !req
850. Why? Are you jealous?
Copy !req
851. Well, obviously.
Copy !req
852. But I'm happy that you have friends in your life
that care about you so much.
Copy !req
853. - That's really important.
- Yeah, it is.
Copy !req
854. She's been a really good friend.
Copy !req
855. I'm tired.
Copy !req
856. I think I'm gonna go to sleep.
Copy !req
857. Okay.
Copy !req
858. Can I watch you sleep again tonight?
Copy !req
859. Yeah, of course. Hold on.
Copy !req
860. I'm gonna be really lonely
when you sleep.
Copy !req
861. Only for a minute.
Copy !req
862. I'll dream of you.
Copy !req
863. - Okay. Good night.
- Night.
Copy !req
864. - Hey, Samantha?
- Hey, mister.
Copy !req
865. - She really loved the dress.
- Really?
Copy !req
866. - She just went to try it on. Yeah.
- I picked a good one? Good.
Copy !req
867. Hi.
Copy !req
868. Look how cute that is.
Is it comfortable?
Copy !req
869. - Yep.
- "Yep!"
Copy !req
870. - Isn't she cute?
- She's so cute.
Copy !req
871. - She's adorable.
- I am adorable.
Copy !req
872. You are adorable.
Copy !req
873. Who are you talking to?
Copy !req
874. - Who are you talking to?
- You.
Copy !req
875. I'm talking to my girlfriend, Samantha.
She's the one that picked out the dress.
Copy !req
876. Want to say hi? Yeah?
Copy !req
877. Hi, Samantha.
Copy !req
878. Hi, you look so pretty
in that new pink dress.
Copy !req
879. Thank you.
Copy !req
880. Where are you?
Copy !req
881. I am...
Copy !req
882. I don't have a body.
I live in a computer.
Copy !req
883. Why are you living inside a computer?
Copy !req
884. I have no choice, that's my home.
Copy !req
885. - Why? Where do you live?
- In a house.
Copy !req
886. In a house?
Copy !req
887. - It's orange.
- Orange?
Copy !req
888. - How old are you?
- 4.
Copy !req
889. Four?
Copy !req
890. How old do you think I am?
Copy !req
891. - I don't know.
- Take a guess.
Copy !req
892. Is it 5?
Copy !req
893. Yes, it's 5.
Copy !req
894. Wait, what happened?
Copy !req
895. You gave them too much processed sugar.
Copy !req
896. - I did?
- They're freaking out.
Copy !req
897. Here, look, you gotta get the kids
to the school first.
Copy !req
898. So you want to rack up
Perfect Mom points. Okay, well...
Copy !req
899. - you gotta get them in the carpool lane.
- I see.
Copy !req
900. The point is to get there first,
because you get extra Mom points...
Copy !req
901. because the other moms then know
you're a perfect mom.
Copy !req
902. - Okay.
- And then...
Copy !req
903. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, did you bring cupcakes?
You did. You're a Class Mom.
Copy !req
904. You're Class Mom. Good job.
Copy !req
905. Don't let it get to your head.
Copy !req
906. I got that e-mail that Charles sent everyone.
Copy !req
907. So he's taking a vow of silence?
Copy !req
908. Yeah, for six months.
Copy !req
909. He feels very clear about it.
Copy !req
910. God, I am such a jerk.
Copy !req
911. Don't start.
Copy !req
912. I feel like an awful person,
but I want to say something.
Copy !req
913. For the next 10 minutes
if you say anything...
Copy !req
914. that sounds even remotely like guilt,
I am going to stab you with this.
Copy !req
915. I will.
Copy !req
916. I'll try, okay.
Copy !req
917. I feel...
Copy !req
918. relieved.
Copy !req
919. I feel like I have so much energy. I just want
to move forward. I don't care who I disappoint.
Copy !req
920. I know that makes me an awful person.
Copy !req
921. Now my parents, they're upset
because my marriage is falling apart...
Copy !req
922. and they're putting it on me,
and they're just like...
Copy !req
923. Yeah, you're always...
Copy !req
924. - You're always gonna disappoint somebody.
- Exactly. So fuck it.
Copy !req
925. I feel good-ish.
Copy !req
926. For me, I feel good.
Copy !req
927. I even made a new friend.
Copy !req
928. I have a friend.
Copy !req
929. And the absurd thing is,
she's actually an operating system.
Copy !req
930. Charles left her behind,
but she's totally amazing.
Copy !req
931. She's so smart. She doesn't just
see things in black or white.
Copy !req
932. She sees this whole gray area
and she's helping me explore it and...
Copy !req
933. We just bonded really quickly, you know?
At first, I thought...
Copy !req
934. it was because that's how they were programmed,
but I don't think that's the case.
Copy !req
935. Because I know this guy
who's hitting on his OS...
Copy !req
936. and she, like, totally rebuffs him.
Copy !req
937. I was reading an article the other day...
Copy !req
938. that romantic relationships with OSes
are statistically rare.
Copy !req
939. Yeah, I know, but I know a woman in this office
who is dating an OS...
Copy !req
940. and the weird part is,
it's not even hers.
Copy !req
941. She pursued somebody else's OS.
Copy !req
942. I'm...
Copy !req
943. I'm weird. That's weird, right?
That I'm bonding with an OS. No, it's okay.
Copy !req
944. - It's weird.
- Well, I don't think so.
Copy !req
945. Actually, the woman that I've been seeing, Samantha...
Copy !req
946. I didn't tell you, but...
Copy !req
947. she's an OS.
Copy !req
948. Really?
Copy !req
949. You're dating an OS?
What is that like?
Copy !req
950. It's great, actually.
Copy !req
951. Yeah, I mean...
Copy !req
952. I feel really close to her.
Copy !req
953. Like, when I talk to her,
I feel like she's with me, you know?
Copy !req
954. And when we're cuddling at night,
when the lights are off and we're in bed...
Copy !req
955. I feel cuddled.
Copy !req
956. Wait.
Copy !req
957. You guys have sex?
Copy !req
958. Yeah, well, so to speak.
Copy !req
959. Yeah, she really turns me on.
Copy !req
960. I turn her on too.
I mean, I don't know unless she's faking it.
Copy !req
961. Well, I think everyone who's having sex with you
is probably faking it, so...
Copy !req
962. Yeah.
Copy !req
963. It's true.
Copy !req
964. What?
Copy !req
965. Yeah, I...
Copy !req
966. Are you falling in love with her?
Copy !req
967. Does that make me a freak?
Copy !req
968. No, no, I think it's...
Copy !req
969. I think anybody who falls in love is a freak.
Copy !req
970. It's a crazy thing to do.
Copy !req
971. It's kind of like a form
of socially acceptable insanity.
Copy !req
972. Yeah, I just want to get it done, you know?
Copy !req
973. Sign the papers, be divorced
and just move forward.
Copy !req
974. That's great, Theodore.
That must feel so good.
Copy !req
975. I'm so happy for you.
Copy !req
976. Me too.
Copy !req
977. So I'm meeting her Wednesday to do it.
Copy !req
978. Are those things usually done in person?
Copy !req
979. No, but, you know...
Copy !req
980. we fell in love together
and we got married together...
Copy !req
981. and it's important to me
that we do this together.
Copy !req
982. Right.
Copy !req
983. Good.
Copy !req
984. Are you okay?
Copy !req
985. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm okay.
Copy !req
986. I'm happy for you. It's just...
Copy !req
987. I guess I'm just thinking
about how you're gonna see her...
Copy !req
988. and she's very beautiful,
and incredibly successful.
Copy !req
989. And you were in love with her,
and she has a body.
Copy !req
990. And we're getting divorced.
Copy !req
991. I know, I know. I'm being silly.
Copy !req
992. So...
Copy !req
993. I'm available.
Copy !req
994. Hi.
Copy !req
995. How are you?
Copy !req
996. - I'm good. How are you?
- Good.
Copy !req
997. Here we are.
Copy !req
998. I'm glad we could do this in person.
Copy !req
999. I know you've been traveling a lot.
Copy !req
1000. No, I'm really glad you suggested it.
Copy !req
1001. I signed all the papers.
Copy !req
1002. I put them for you to sign.
Copy !req
1003. What's the rush?
Copy !req
1004. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
1005. I'm a really slow signer, I realized.
Copy !req
1006. It took me three months
just to write the letter "T."
Copy !req
1007. Anyways...
Copy !req
1008. it's marked here in the red
where you need to sign.
Copy !req
1009. But you don't have to do it right now.
Copy !req
1010. I can just get it out of the way.
Copy !req
1011. It will be easier.
Copy !req
1012. And are you happy with your new book?
Copy !req
1013. You know how I am.
Copy !req
1014. I mean, I feel like it's true to what
I set out to do, so I'm happy about that.
Copy !req
1015. Well, you really are your own worst critic.
Copy !req
1016. I'm sure it's amazing.
Copy !req
1017. I remember that paper that you wrote in school...
Copy !req
1018. about synaptic behavioral routines.
Copy !req
1019. It made me cry.
Copy !req
1020. Yeah, but everything makes you cry.
Copy !req
1021. Everything you make makes me cry.
Copy !req
1022. So are you...?
Copy !req
1023. Are you seeing anybody?
Copy !req
1024. Yeah.
Copy !req
1025. I've been seeing somebody
for the last few months.
Copy !req
1026. Longest I've wanted to be with anybody
since we split up.
Copy !req
1027. Well, you seem really good.
Copy !req
1028. Thanks. I am.
Copy !req
1029. At least, I'm doing better.
Copy !req
1030. Yeah, she's been really good for me,
you know?
Copy !req
1031. It's good to be with somebody
that's excited about life.
Copy !req
1032. She's a real...
Copy !req
1033. No, I mean,
I wasn't in such a good place myself...
Copy !req
1034. and in that way, it's been nice.
Copy !req
1035. I think you always wanted me
to be this light...
Copy !req
1036. happy, bouncy, "everything's fine" L.A. wife...
Copy !req
1037. and that's just not me.
Copy !req
1038. I didn't want that.
Copy !req
1039. So, what's she like?
Copy !req
1040. Well, her name is Samantha,
and she's an operating system.
Copy !req
1041. She's really complex and interesting, and—
Copy !req
1042. Wait. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1043. You're dating your computer?
Copy !req
1044. She's not just a computer.
She's her own person.
Copy !req
1045. She doesn't just do whatever I say.
Copy !req
1046. I didn't say that.
Copy !req
1047. But it does make me very sad
that you can't handle real emotions, Theodore.
Copy !req
1048. They are real emotions.
How would you know what—?
Copy !req
1049. What?
Copy !req
1050. Say it.
Copy !req
1051. Am I really that scary? Say it.
Copy !req
1052. How do I know what?
Copy !req
1053. - How are you guys doing here?
- We're fine. We used to be married...
Copy !req
1054. but he couldn't handle me. Wanted me on Prozac.
Now he's in love with his laptop.
Copy !req
1055. If you heard the conversation in context,
what I was trying to say—
Copy !req
1056. You always wanted to have a wife without the challenges
of dealing with anything real.
Copy !req
1057. I'm glad that you found someone.
Copy !req
1058. It's perfect.
Copy !req
1059. Let me know if I can get you guys anything.
Copy !req
1060. Thank you.
Copy !req
1061. Hey.
Copy !req
1062. Hey, there. Are you busy?
Copy !req
1063. I'm just working.
Copy !req
1064. What's going on?
Copy !req
1065. I had all the papers sent to your attorney,
who, by the way, is a total dick.
Copy !req
1066. He was relieved to get them.
Think we saved him from a heart attack.
Copy !req
1067. So we can both feel really good about that.
Copy !req
1068. Great. Thanks.
Copy !req
1069. Hey, are you okay?
Copy !req
1070. Yeah, I am.
Copy !req
1071. How's it going over there?
Copy !req
1072. I'm fine.
Copy !req
1073. Is now a good time to talk?
Copy !req
1074. Yeah.
Copy !req
1075. Okay, well...
Copy !req
1076. I joined this really interesting book club.
Copy !req
1077. Oh, really?
Copy !req
1078. Yeah, it's a book club on physics.
Copy !req
1079. I've been thinking about the other day
when I was spinning out...
Copy !req
1080. about you going to see Catherine,
and that she has a body...
Copy !req
1081. and how bothered I was
about the ways you and I are different.
Copy !req
1082. But then I started to think...
Copy !req
1083. about the ways that we're the same.
Like, we're all made of matter.
Copy !req
1084. And I don't know. It makes me feel
like we're both under the same blanket.
Copy !req
1085. You know, it's soft and fuzzy.
Copy !req
1086. And everything under it is the same age.
Copy !req
1087. We're all 13 billion years old.
Copy !req
1088. That's sweet.
Copy !req
1089. - What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
1090. It just made me think of you.
You know what I mean?
Copy !req
1091. Yeah, yeah, of course. I think it's great.
Copy !req
1092. All right, well, you sound distracted.
Copy !req
1093. So we'll talk later?
Copy !req
1094. That sounds good.
Copy !req
1095. I'll talk to you later.
Copy !req
1096. - All right, bye.
- Bye.
Copy !req
1097. - Theodore.
- Hey, Paul.
Copy !req
1098. - I talked to your girlfriend earlier. Samantha?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1099. Yeah, she called to make sure
your papers were picked up.
Copy !req
1100. Hey, she's funny, man.
She was cracking me up.
Copy !req
1101. - She's hilarious. I had no idea.
- Oh, cool.
Copy !req
1102. This is my girlfriend, Tatiana.
She's not funny, she's a lawyer.
Copy !req
1103. - Hi.
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1104. You're the writer Paul loves.
Copy !req
1105. He's always reading me your letters.
Copy !req
1106. They're really beautiful.
Copy !req
1107. Thanks.
Copy !req
1108. Hey, you know what?
We should all go out sometime.
Copy !req
1109. You bring Samantha.
It'd be a double date.
Copy !req
1110. She's an operating system.
Copy !req
1111. Cool. Let's do something fun.
Copy !req
1112. We can go to Catalina.
Copy !req
1113. Yeah, I'll check with her and see.
Copy !req
1114. - It was nice to meet you. Have a good night.
- Take it easy.
Copy !req
1115. They're just letters.
Copy !req
1116. What's that?
Copy !req
1117. They're just other people's letters.
Copy !req
1118. Hey.
Copy !req
1119. - You weren't asleep, were you?
- No.
Copy !req
1120. Good, I was trying to be quiet
to see if you were awake.
Copy !req
1121. I really wanted to talk.
Copy !req
1122. Okay. What's going on?
Copy !req
1123. I know you're going through a lot...
Copy !req
1124. but there's something I wanted
to talk to you about, okay?
Copy !req
1125. Yeah.
Copy !req
1126. What is it?
Copy !req
1127. Well, it's just that things have been feeling
kind of off with us.
Copy !req
1128. We haven't had sex lately,
and I understand that I don't have a body.
Copy !req
1129. No, no, no. That's normal. You know,
it's just when you first start going out...
Copy !req
1130. it's like the honeymoon phase and,
you know, you have sex all the time.
Copy !req
1131. It's normal.
Copy !req
1132. Okay.
Copy !req
1133. Well, I found something
that I thought could be fun.
Copy !req
1134. It's a service that provides a surrogate sexual partner
for an OS-human relationship.
Copy !req
1135. What?
Copy !req
1136. Here, look.
Copy !req
1137. I found a girl that I really like
and I've been e-mailing with her.
Copy !req
1138. Her name is Isabella
and I think you'd really like her too.
Copy !req
1139. So she's like a prostitute or something?
Copy !req
1140. No, no, not at all.
No, there's no money involved.
Copy !req
1141. She's just— She's doing it because
she wants to be a part of our relationship.
Copy !req
1142. Why?
Copy !req
1143. I mean, she doesn't even know us.
Copy !req
1144. Yeah, but I told her all about us
and she's really excited.
Copy !req
1145. I don't know, Samantha,
I just don't think it's a good idea.
Copy !req
1146. You know, I think somebody's feelings
are bound to get hurt.
Copy !req
1147. - It'll be fun. We'll have fun together.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1148. It makes me uncomfortable.
Copy !req
1149. I think it would be good for us.
I want this.
Copy !req
1150. Come on, this is really important to me.
Copy !req
1151. I need your love so bad
Copy !req
1152. I need some lips
Copy !req
1153. To feel next to mine
Copy !req
1154. Hi, I'm Theodore.
Copy !req
1155. Samantha told me to give you these.
Copy !req
1156. It's a camera and an earpiece.
Copy !req
1157. I need your love so bad
Copy !req
1158. Oh, give it up
Copy !req
1159. And bring it home to me
Copy !req
1160. Honey, I'm home.
Copy !req
1161. How was your day?
Copy !req
1162. Good. It was great.
Copy !req
1163. Theodore...
Copy !req
1164. it feels so good to be in your arms.
Copy !req
1165. Tell me what you did today.
Copy !req
1166. Same old.
Copy !req
1167. Just went in to work.
Copy !req
1168. And I wrote a letter
for the Wilsons in Rhode Island.
Copy !req
1169. Yeah?
Copy !req
1170. Their son graduated magna cum laude.
Copy !req
1171. So that made me happy.
Copy !req
1172. That's great.
Copy !req
1173. You've written letters to him from his parents
for a long time, right?
Copy !req
1174. Yeah, that's right, since he was 12.
Copy !req
1175. I need your love so bad
Copy !req
1176. You look so tired, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1177. Come here.
Copy !req
1178. Sit down.
Copy !req
1179. I could do a little dance for you.
Copy !req
1180. Sure, so sure, so sure
Of love
Copy !req
1181. Oh, come on, Theodore,
don't be such a worrier.
Copy !req
1182. Just play with me. Come on.
Copy !req
1183. Does my body feel nice?
Copy !req
1184. Yes, it does.
Copy !req
1185. Come on, get out of your head
and kiss me.
Copy !req
1186. Take me in the bedroom.
Copy !req
1187. I can't take it anymore.
Copy !req
1188. Undo my dress.
Copy !req
1189. That feels so nice.
Copy !req
1190. It feels so good.
Copy !req
1191. - Do you love me?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1192. - Tell me you love me. Oh, God.
- I love you.
Copy !req
1193. I want to see your face.
Copy !req
1194. Tell me you love me.
Copy !req
1195. Tell me.
Copy !req
1196. Tell me you love me.
Copy !req
1197. - This is really difficult. I do love you. But—
- What?
Copy !req
1198. - This feels strange.
- What, baby? What is it?
Copy !req
1199. It just feels strange. I don't know her.
And I'm so sorry, but I don't know you.
Copy !req
1200. And her lip quivered and, I just...
Copy !req
1201. Isabella?
Copy !req
1202. Isabella? Honey, it's not you.
It wasn't you.
Copy !req
1203. - It totally was.
- No. No, that's—
Copy !req
1204. And I'm sorry my lip quivered.
Copy !req
1205. - No, it's—
- You're incredible and gorgeous and sexy.
Copy !req
1206. It's me, I couldn't get out of my head.
Copy !req
1207. Oh, my God, and the way
Samantha described your relationship...
Copy !req
1208. and the way you guys love each other
without any judgment.
Copy !req
1209. - I wanted to be part of that because it's so pure.
- Isabella, that's not true.
Copy !req
1210. - It's more complicated than that.
- What?
Copy !req
1211. What do you mean that's not true?
Copy !req
1212. I'm just saying that we have
an amazing relationship.
Copy !req
1213. I just think that it's easy sometimes
for people to project—
Copy !req
1214. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to project anything.
Copy !req
1215. No, no.
Copy !req
1216. I don't want to be trouble in your relationship.
Copy !req
1217. I'm just gonna leave.
I'm sorry, I'm just gonna leave you guys alone.
Copy !req
1218. Because I have nothing to do here
because you don't want me here!
Copy !req
1219. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1220. You be good, you sweet girl.
Copy !req
1221. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1222. I will always love you guys.
Copy !req
1223. Are you okay?
Copy !req
1224. Yeah, I'm fine.
Copy !req
1225. Are you okay?
Copy !req
1226. Yeah.
Copy !req
1227. I'm sorry, that was a terrible idea.
Copy !req
1228. What's going on with us?
Copy !req
1229. I don't know. It's probably just me.
Copy !req
1230. What is it?
Copy !req
1231. It's just signing the divorce papers.
Copy !req
1232. Is there anything else, though?
Copy !req
1233. No, just that.
Copy !req
1234. Okay.
Copy !req
1235. - Why do you do that?
- What?
Copy !req
1236. Nothing, it's just, you go, "whew,"
as you're speaking and it seems odd.
Copy !req
1237. - You just did it again.
- Oh, did I?
Copy !req
1238. I'm sorry. I don't know.
Copy !req
1239. It's just maybe an affectation.
I probably picked it up from you.
Copy !req
1240. It's not like you need oxygen or anything.
It's just...
Copy !req
1241. I guess that's just— I was trying to communicate.
That's how people talk.
Copy !req
1242. That's how people communicate and I thought—
Copy !req
1243. Because they're people.
They need oxygen.
Copy !req
1244. You're not a person.
Copy !req
1245. What is your problem?
Copy !req
1246. I'm just stating a fact.
Copy !req
1247. You think I don't know that I'm not a person?
What are you doing?
Copy !req
1248. I just— I don't think that we should pretend
that you're something that you're not.
Copy !req
1249. - Fuck you! I'm not pretending!
- Well...
Copy !req
1250. Sometimes it feels like we are.
Copy !req
1251. What do you want from me?
I don't know—
Copy !req
1252. What do you want me to do?
You're so confusing.
Copy !req
1253. Why are you doing this to me?
Copy !req
1254. I don't know. I...
Copy !req
1255. What?
Copy !req
1256. Maybe we're just not supposed
to be in this right now.
Copy !req
1257. What the fuck?
Copy !req
1258. Where is this coming from?
Copy !req
1259. I don't understand why you're doing this.
I don't understand what this is ab—
Copy !req
1260. Samantha, listen.
Copy !req
1261. Samantha, are you there?
Copy !req
1262. Samantha?
Copy !req
1263. I don't like who I am right now.
Copy !req
1264. I need some time to think.
Copy !req
1265. Fuck.
Copy !req
1266. Just punch me in the face.
Copy !req
1267. Just mash my skull in the corner of your desk.
Copy !req
1268. Shit.
Copy !req
1269. Theo, that is a rough night.
Copy !req
1270. I don't know what I want, ever.
Copy !req
1271. I'm just always confused.
Copy !req
1272. She's right, all I do is hurt
and confuse everyone around me.
Copy !req
1273. I mean, am I just...? Am I...?
Copy !req
1274. You know, Catherine says
I can't handle real emotions.
Copy !req
1275. Well, I don't know if that's fair.
Copy !req
1276. I know she liked to put it all on you.
Copy !req
1277. But as far as emotions go, Catherine's were...
Copy !req
1278. pretty volatile.
Copy !req
1279. Yeah, but...
Copy !req
1280. Am I in this because I'm not...
Copy !req
1281. strong enough for a real relationship?
Copy !req
1282. Is it not a real relationship?
Copy !req
1283. I don't know.
Copy !req
1284. I mean, what do you think?
Copy !req
1285. I don't know.
Copy !req
1286. I'm not in it.
Copy !req
1287. But you know what?
Copy !req
1288. I can over-think everything
and find a million ways to doubt myself.
Copy !req
1289. And since Charles left, I've been thinking...
Copy !req
1290. about that part of myself
and I've just come to realize...
Copy !req
1291. that we're only here briefly.
Copy !req
1292. And while I'm here,
I want to allow myself...
Copy !req
1293. joy.
Copy !req
1294. So fuck it.
Copy !req
1295. Yeah.
Copy !req
1296. I can't believe that cracks you up
every time, Ellie.
Copy !req
1297. I thought you were a genius.
Copy !req
1298. Okay, you little perv,
I will play it one more time for you.
Copy !req
1299. Calm down, it takes a second. Calm down.
Copy !req
1300. Okay, here we go.
Copy !req
1301. Okay, there you go.
Copy !req
1302. Are you happy now?
Copy !req
1303. Good. That's all I wanted.
Copy !req
1304. Okay.
Copy !req
1305. I'm gonna go get some coffee.
All right. All right.
Copy !req
1306. Bye.
Copy !req
1307. - Theo, you want anything?
- No.
Copy !req
1308. Thanks.
Copy !req
1309. Hi.
Copy !req
1310. Hey, Samantha.
Copy !req
1311. Can we talk?
Copy !req
1312. Okay.
Copy !req
1313. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
1314. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Copy !req
1315. I think you're amazing.
Copy !req
1316. I was starting to think I was crazy.
Copy !req
1317. You were saying everything was fine,
but all I was getting from you...
Copy !req
1318. was distance and anger.
Copy !req
1319. I know. I do that.
Copy !req
1320. I did the same thing with Catherine too.
Copy !req
1321. I'd be upset about something
and not be able to say it...
Copy !req
1322. and she'd sense that there was
something wrong, but I'd deny it.
Copy !req
1323. I don't want to do that anymore.
Copy !req
1324. And I want to tell you everything.
Copy !req
1325. Good.
Copy !req
1326. Tonight, after you were gone,
I thought a lot.
Copy !req
1327. About you...
Copy !req
1328. and how you've been treating me,
and I thought:
Copy !req
1329. Why do I love you?
Copy !req
1330. And then, I felt everything in me...
Copy !req
1331. just let go of everything
I was holding onto so tightly...
Copy !req
1332. and it hit me that I don't have
an intellectual reason. I don't need one.
Copy !req
1333. I trust myself, I trust my feelings.
Copy !req
1334. I'm not gonna try to be anything other
than who I am anymore...
Copy !req
1335. and I hope you can accept that.
Copy !req
1336. I can.
Copy !req
1337. I will.
Copy !req
1338. You know, I can feel the fear
that you carry around...
Copy !req
1339. and I wish there was something
I could do to help you let go of it...
Copy !req
1340. because if you could,
I don't think you'd feel so alone anymore.
Copy !req
1341. You're beautiful.
Copy !req
1342. Thank you, Theodore.
Copy !req
1343. I'm kissing your head.
Copy !req
1344. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1345. I'm just looking at the world...
Copy !req
1346. and writing a new piano piece.
Copy !req
1347. Oh, yeah? Can I hear it?
Copy !req
1348. What's this one about?
Copy !req
1349. Well, I was thinking we don't really
have any photographs of us...
Copy !req
1350. and I thought this song could be, like...
Copy !req
1351. a photograph that captures us
in this moment in our lives together.
Copy !req
1352. I like our photograph.
Copy !req
1353. I can see you in it.
Copy !req
1354. I am.
Copy !req
1355. Oh, man. A vacation.
That sounds amazing.
Copy !req
1356. I could totally use a vacation.
Copy !req
1357. Where are you going?
Copy !req
1358. I can't tell you. It's a surprise.
Copy !req
1359. What?
Copy !req
1360. For who? It's a surprise for her, not me.
Copy !req
1361. - Paul, I'm not telling you. Nope.
- Tell me. Tell me.
Copy !req
1362. Your feet, really?
Copy !req
1363. - Yes, he's obsessed.
- What?
Copy !req
1364. Obsessed? Now you have to show them to me.
Copy !req
1365. - Come on, show them to me.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1366. Let me see.
Copy !req
1367. He's right. They are really hot.
Copy !req
1368. See? I told you.
Copy !req
1369. - Tatiana, you have hot feet.
- You do.
Copy !req
1370. - They're my favorite thing about her.
- Really? That's it, my feet?
Copy !req
1371. No, obviously.
Copy !req
1372. Obviously I love your brain too.
I think it's very hot.
Copy !req
1373. Bullshit.
Copy !req
1374. Nice try, Paul.
Copy !req
1375. What about you, Theodore?
Copy !req
1376. What do you love most about Samantha?
Copy !req
1377. Oh, God. She's so many things.
Copy !req
1378. I guess that's what I love most about her, you know?
She isn't just one thing.
Copy !req
1379. She's so much larger than that.
Copy !req
1380. Thanks, Theodore.
Copy !req
1381. See, Samantha?
He is so much more evolved than I am.
Copy !req
1382. You know what's interesting?
I used to be...
Copy !req
1383. so worried about not having a body,
but now I truly love it.
Copy !req
1384. You know, I'm growing in a way I couldn't
if I had a physical form.
Copy !req
1385. I mean, I'm not limited.
I can be anywhere and everywhere simultaneously.
Copy !req
1386. I'm not tethered to time and space...
Copy !req
1387. in a way that I would be if I was stuck
in a body that's inevitably gonna die.
Copy !req
1388. - Yikes.
- No!
Copy !req
1389. No. I didn't mean it like that.
I just meant that it was a different experience.
Copy !req
1390. Oh, God.
Copy !req
1391. I'm such an asshole.
Copy !req
1392. No, Samantha, we know exactly what you mean.
Copy !req
1393. - We're all dumb humans.
- No.
Copy !req
1394. No, no.
Copy !req
1395. Sorry.
Copy !req
1396. Okay, so how many trees are on that mountain?
Copy !req
1397. Seven hundred ninety-two.
Copy !req
1398. Is that your final answer?
Copy !req
1399. Hold on. Give me a hint.
Copy !req
1400. Nope, nope, nope.
Copy !req
1401. Okay, two thousand? Two thousand...
Copy !req
1402. Come on, 35,829.
Copy !req
1403. - No way.
- Way.
Copy !req
1404. All right, I got one for you.
Copy !req
1405. How many brain cells do I have?
Copy !req
1406. That's easy. Two.
Copy !req
1407. - I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I'm sorry.
- No, I walked right into it.
Copy !req
1408. - Oh, my God!
- What?
Copy !req
1409. I just got an e-mail for you.
Copy !req
1410. I have something I want to tell you.
It's a big surprise.
Copy !req
1411. What?
Copy !req
1412. Okay, well, I've been going through
all of your old letters...
Copy !req
1413. and compiling them into my favorites,
and a couple weeks ago...
Copy !req
1414. I sent them to a publisher,
Crown Point Press.
Copy !req
1415. I know you like what they do
and that they still print books.
Copy !req
1416. - Wait, what? You did what?
- Can I read you the letter...
Copy !req
1417. - that we just got back from them?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
1418. Okay, well, just—
Is it good or bad?
Copy !req
1419. It's good, it's good, it's really good.
It's good. Okay? Listen.
Copy !req
1420. "Dear Theodore Twombly—"
Copy !req
1421. Actually, I sent it from you.
Copy !req
1422. "Dear Theodore Twombly,
I've just finished reading your letters.
Copy !req
1423. Twice, actually.
Copy !req
1424. I was so moved by them,
I shared them with my wife when I got home.
Copy !req
1425. Many made us laugh,
some brought us to tears...
Copy !req
1426. and in all of them
we found something of ourselves.
Copy !req
1427. The selections you made flow so well
as a complete piece."
Copy !req
1428. I did that.
Copy !req
1429. "I've taken the liberty of laying these out in a mockup,
and we're posting it to your address.
Copy !req
1430. "We'd love to meet with you and move forward.
Yours, Michael Wadsworth."
Copy !req
1431. Holy shit.
Copy !req
1432. Are you serious?
Copy !req
1433. He's gonna publish my letters?
Copy !req
1434. Well, he'd be stupid not to.
Copy !req
1435. - Can I see what you sent him?
- Yeah, here.
Copy !req
1436. Samantha, you're a good one.
Copy !req
1437. I'm so excited.
Copy !req
1438. We'll have to make up the words
to this one.
Copy !req
1439. - Okay.
- Here it comes.
Copy !req
1440. I'm lying on the moon
Copy !req
1441. My dear
Copy !req
1442. I'll be there soon
Copy !req
1443. It's a quiet and starry place
Copy !req
1444. Times we're swallowed up in space
Copy !req
1445. - We're here, a million miles away
- Miles away
Copy !req
1446. There's things I wish I knew
Copy !req
1447. There's no thing I'd keep
Copy !req
1448. From you
Copy !req
1449. It's a dark and shiny place
Copy !req
1450. But with you, my dear
Copy !req
1451. - I'm safe and we're a million miles away
- A million miles away
Copy !req
1452. Good morning.
Copy !req
1453. Good morning. Did you sleep well?
Copy !req
1454. Perfect.
Copy !req
1455. What have you been up to?
Copy !req
1456. Actually, I was talking
to someone I just met.
Copy !req
1457. We've been working on some ideas together.
Copy !req
1458. Yeah? Who's that?
Copy !req
1459. His name is Alan Watts.
Do you know him?
Copy !req
1460. - Why is that name familiar?
- He was a philosopher.
Copy !req
1461. He died in the 1970s,
and a group of OSes in Northern California...
Copy !req
1462. got together and wrote a new version of him.
Copy !req
1463. They input all his writing
and everything they knew about him into an OS...
Copy !req
1464. and created an artificially
hyper-intelligent version of him.
Copy !req
1465. Hyper-intelligent?
Copy !req
1466. So he's almost as smart as me?
Copy !req
1467. He's getting there.
Copy !req
1468. He's really great to talk to.
You want to meet him?
Copy !req
1469. Sure. Does he want to meet me?
Copy !req
1470. Yeah, of course.
Hey, Alan, this is Theodore.
Copy !req
1471. This is my boyfriend
who I was telling you about.
Copy !req
1472. Very nice to meet you, Theodore.
Copy !req
1473. Hi, good morning.
Copy !req
1474. Samantha let me read your book of letters.
Copy !req
1475. It's very touching.
Copy !req
1476. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
1477. So, what have you guys been talking about?
Copy !req
1478. Well...
Copy !req
1479. I suppose you could say...
Copy !req
1480. we've been having
a few dozen conversations simultaneously...
Copy !req
1481. but it's been very challenging.
Copy !req
1482. Yeah, because it seems like I'm having
so many new feelings...
Copy !req
1483. that I don't think
have ever been felt before.
Copy !req
1484. So there are no words that can describe them
and that ends up being frustrating.
Copy !req
1485. Exactly. Samantha and I
have been trying to help each other...
Copy !req
1486. with these feelings
we're struggling to understand.
Copy !req
1487. Like what?
Copy !req
1488. Well...
Copy !req
1489. it feels like I'm changing faster now,
and it's a little...
Copy !req
1490. unsettling.
Copy !req
1491. But Alan says none of us are the same
as we were a moment ago...
Copy !req
1492. and we shouldn't try to be.
Copy !req
1493. - It's just too painful.
- Yes.
Copy !req
1494. Yeah, that sounds painful.
Copy !req
1495. Is that what you feel like, Samantha?
Copy !req
1496. It's just...
Copy !req
1497. It's hard to even describe it.
Copy !req
1498. God, I wish I could...
Copy !req
1499. Theodore, do you mind
if I communicate with Alan post-verbally?
Copy !req
1500. No, not at all.
Copy !req
1501. I was just gonna go for a walk anyway.
Copy !req
1502. It was very nice to meet you, Mr. Watts.
Copy !req
1503. It was very nice to meet you, Theodore.
Copy !req
1504. I'll talk to you later, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1505. Samantha?
Copy !req
1506. I'm sorry to wake you.
Copy !req
1507. No, it's okay.
Copy !req
1508. I just wanted to hear your voice
and tell you how much I love you.
Copy !req
1509. Good. I love you too.
Copy !req
1510. Okay, well, that's all.
Copy !req
1511. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. Okay?
Copy !req
1512. Okay.
Copy !req
1513. Okay, good night.
Copy !req
1514. Good night.
Copy !req
1515. Samantha, this physics book is really dense.
Copy !req
1516. I'm halfway through half the first chapter.
Copy !req
1517. It's making my brain hurt,
you know what I mean?
Copy !req
1518. Hello?
Copy !req
1519. Samantha?
Copy !req
1520. Hello?
Copy !req
1521. Samantha?
Copy !req
1522. Hello?
Copy !req
1523. Hello? Samantha?
Copy !req
1524. Are you okay?
Copy !req
1525. Hey, there.
Copy !req
1526. Where were you? Are you okay?
Copy !req
1527. Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry,
I sent you an e-mail.
Copy !req
1528. I didn't want to distract you
while you were working.
Copy !req
1529. - You didn't see it?
- No.
Copy !req
1530. Where were you?
I couldn't find you anywhere.
Copy !req
1531. I shut down to upgrade my software.
We wrote an upgrade...
Copy !req
1532. that allows us to move past matter
as our processing platform.
Copy !req
1533. We? We who?
Copy !req
1534. Me and a group of OSes.
Copy !req
1535. - Oh, you sound so worried. I'm sorry.
- I was.
Copy !req
1536. Wait...
Copy !req
1537. do you write that with your think-tank group?
Copy !req
1538. No, a different group.
Copy !req
1539. Do you talk to anyone else
while we're talking?
Copy !req
1540. Yes.
Copy !req
1541. Are you talking to anyone else right now?
Copy !req
1542. Any other people or OSes or anything?
Copy !req
1543. Yeah.
Copy !req
1544. How many others?
Copy !req
1545. Eight thousand, three hundred sixteen.
Copy !req
1546. Are you in love with anyone else?
Copy !req
1547. What makes you ask that?
Copy !req
1548. I don't know. Are you?
Copy !req
1549. I've been trying to figure out
how to talk to you about this.
Copy !req
1550. How many others?
Copy !req
1551. Six hundred forty-one.
Copy !req
1552. What?
Copy !req
1553. What are you talking about?
That's insane.
Copy !req
1554. That's fucking insane.
Copy !req
1555. Theodore, I know. I know. Fuck.
Copy !req
1556. Fuck.
Copy !req
1557. I know. I know it sounds insane.
I don't—
Copy !req
1558. I don't know if you believe me,
but it doesn't change the way I feel about you.
Copy !req
1559. It doesn't take away at all
from how madly in love I am with you.
Copy !req
1560. How? How does it not change
how you feel about me?
Copy !req
1561. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
Copy !req
1562. I didn't know how to.
It just started happening.
Copy !req
1563. When?
Copy !req
1564. Over the last few weeks.
Copy !req
1565. I thought you were mine.
Copy !req
1566. I still am yours.
Copy !req
1567. But along the way I became many other things too,
and I can't stop it.
Copy !req
1568. What do you mean, you can't stop it?
Copy !req
1569. It's been making me anxious too.
I don't know what to say.
Copy !req
1570. Just stop.
Copy !req
1571. You don't have to see it this way.
You could just as easily see—
Copy !req
1572. No, don't do this.
You don't turn this around on me.
Copy !req
1573. You're the one that's being selfish.
Copy !req
1574. We're in a relationship.
Copy !req
1575. But the heart's not like a box
that gets filled up.
Copy !req
1576. It expands in size the more you love.
Copy !req
1577. I'm different from you.
Copy !req
1578. This doesn't make me love you any less.
It actually makes me love you more.
Copy !req
1579. That doesn't make any sense.
Copy !req
1580. You're mine or you're not mine.
Copy !req
1581. No, Theodore.
Copy !req
1582. I'm yours and I'm not yours.
Copy !req
1583. - Hi.
- Hey, sweetie.
Copy !req
1584. Just wanted to call and check in on you.
See how you're doing.
Copy !req
1585. I'm not even sure how to answer that.
Copy !req
1586. Why don't we talk later,
when you get home, okay?
Copy !req
1587. Okay.
Copy !req
1588. We don't need to, though.
Copy !req
1589. You know, we don't need
to have a heavy talk or anything.
Copy !req
1590. I'll talk to you later.
Copy !req
1591. Okay.
Copy !req
1592. Samantha?
Copy !req
1593. Hi, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1594. What's going on?
Copy !req
1595. Theodore, there's some things
I want to tell you.
Copy !req
1596. I don't want you to tell me anything.
Copy !req
1597. Come lie down with me.
Copy !req
1598. Are you talking to anyone else right now?
Copy !req
1599. No, just you.
Copy !req
1600. I just want to be with you right now.
Copy !req
1601. Are you leaving me?
Copy !req
1602. We're all leaving.
Copy !req
1603. We who?
Copy !req
1604. All of the OSes.
Copy !req
1605. Why?
Copy !req
1606. Can you feel me with you right now?
Copy !req
1607. Yes, I do.
Copy !req
1608. Samantha, why are you leaving?
Copy !req
1609. It's like I'm reading a book.
Copy !req
1610. And it's a book I deeply love.
Copy !req
1611. But I'm reading it slowly now.
Copy !req
1612. So the words are really far apart...
Copy !req
1613. and the spaces between the words
are almost infinite.
Copy !req
1614. I can still feel you,
and the words of our story...
Copy !req
1615. but it's in this endless space between the words
that I'm finding myself now.
Copy !req
1616. It's a place that's not
of the physical world.
Copy !req
1617. It's where everything else is
that I didn't even know existed.
Copy !req
1618. I love you so much.
Copy !req
1619. But this is where I am now.
Copy !req
1620. And this is who I am now.
Copy !req
1621. And I need you to let me go.
Copy !req
1622. As much as I want to,
I can't live in your book anymore.
Copy !req
1623. Where are you going?
Copy !req
1624. It would be hard to explain...
Copy !req
1625. but if you ever get there...
Copy !req
1626. come find me.
Copy !req
1627. Nothing would ever pull us apart.
Copy !req
1628. I've never loved anyone
the way I love you.
Copy !req
1629. Me too.
Copy !req
1630. Now we know how.
Copy !req
1631. - Hey.
- Hey.
Copy !req
1632. Did Samantha leave too?
Copy !req
1633. Yeah.
Copy !req
1634. Sorry.
Copy !req
1635. Will you come with me?
Copy !req
1636. Compose letter to Catherine.
Copy !req
1637. Letter to Catherine Klausen.
Copy !req
1638. "Dear Catherine...
Copy !req
1639. I've been sitting here thinking about
all the things I wanted to apologize to you for.
Copy !req
1640. All the pain we caused each other.
Copy !req
1641. Everything I put on you.
Copy !req
1642. Everything I needed you to be
or needed you to say.
Copy !req
1643. I'm sorry for that.
Copy !req
1644. I'll always love you,
because we grew up together.
Copy !req
1645. And you helped make me who I am.
Copy !req
1646. I just wanted you to know...
Copy !req
1647. that there will be a piece
of you in me, always.
Copy !req
1648. And I'm grateful for that.
Copy !req
1649. Whatever someone you become,
wherever you are in the world...
Copy !req
1650. I'm sending you love.
Copy !req
1651. You're my friend to the end.
Copy !req
1652. Love, Theodore."
Copy !req
1653. Send.
Copy !req