1. "To my Chris.Copy !req
2. I've been thinking how I could possibly
tell you how much you mean to me.Copy !req
3. I remember when I first started to fall
in love with you like it was last night.Copy !req
4. Lying naked beside you in
that tiny apartment...Copy !req
5. it suddenly hit me that I was
part of this whole larger thing.Copy !req
6. Just like our parents...Copy !req
7. or our parents' parents.Copy !req
8. Before that, I was just living my
life like I knew everything...Copy !req
9. and suddenly this bright
light hit me and woke me up.Copy !req
10. That light was you.Copy !req
11. I can't believe it's already been
50 years since you married me.Copy !req
12. And still to this day, every day...Copy !req
13. you make me feel like
the girl I was...Copy !req
14. when you first turned on the lights and
we started this adventure together.Copy !req
15. Happy anniversary...Copy !req
16. my love.Copy !req
17. My friend till the end.Copy !req
18. Loretta."Copy !req
19. Print.Copy !req
20. "Chris, my best friend...Copy !req
21. how lucky am I that I
met you 50 years ago."Copy !req
22. "Dear Nana, thank you
so much for my truck.Copy !req
23. I love the color, and I
play with it every day."Copy !req
24. "What a truly beautiful wedding,
and what a gorgeous bride.Copy !req
25. There wasn't a dry eye in
the house, especially mine.Copy !req
26. Your aunt and I are
so proud of you."Copy !req
27. "He served our country
with honor and dignity.Copy !req
28. I'm grateful I was able to fight alongside
him. He will live always in my heart."Copy !req
29. BeautifulHandwrittenLetters.com,
please hold.Copy !req
30. "Love, Uncle Doug."Copy !req
31. - Theodore! Letter Writer Number 612.
- Hey, Paul.Copy !req
32. Even more mesmerizing stuff today.Copy !req
33. Who knew you could rhyme so many words
with the name Penelope? It's badass.Copy !req
34. Thanks, Paul, but
they're just letters.Copy !req
35. Hey, that's a nice shirt.Copy !req
36. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
37. I just got it.Copy !req
38. - It reminded me of someone suave.
- Now it reminds me of someone suave.Copy !req
39. - Have a good night, Paul.
- Bye-bye.Copy !req
40. Play a melancholy song.Copy !req
41. When you know you're gonna dieCopy !req
42. Play a different melancholy song.Copy !req
43. Check e-mails.Copy !req
44. E-mail from Best Buy.Copy !req
45. - Check out all your favorite new products.
- Delete.Copy !req
46. E-mail from Amy.Copy !req
47. Hey, Theodore, Lewman's having a
bunch of people over this weekend.Copy !req
48. Let's all go together.Copy !req
49. I miss you. I mean, not
the sad, mopey you.Copy !req
50. The old, fun you.
Let's get him out.Copy !req
51. Give me a shout back. Love, Amy.Copy !req
52. Respond later.Copy !req
53. E-mail from Los Angeles
Times Weather.Copy !req
54. - Your seven-day forecast is partly...
- Delete.Copy !req
55. - No new e-mails.
- Next.Copy !req
56. - China-India merger headed for regulatory...
- Next.Copy !req
57. - World trade deal stalled as talks break down...
- Next.Copy !req
58. Sexy daytime star Kimberly Ashford
reveals provocative pregnancy photos.Copy !req
59. - Are you sure?
- I don't know, it's very dangerous.Copy !req
60. Put your footski. Slide.Copy !req
61. Don't, ha, ha. Don't.Copy !req
62. Rabbit.Copy !req
63. Come and spoon me.Copy !req
64. I'm gonna fucking kill you.Copy !req
65. - I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
66. It's not funny, don't laugh.Copy !req
67. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna kill you.
I love you so much, I'm gonna fucking kill you.Copy !req
68. Go to chat rooms. Standard search.Copy !req
69. The following are adult
female, can't sleep...Copy !req
70. and want to have some fun.Copy !req
71. Ugh, I had a really bad day
at work and I can't sleep.Copy !req
72. - Is there anybody out there that can talk?
- Next.Copy !req
73. Hi. I just want you to tear
me apart. I really do.Copy !req
74. - Next.
- Hi, I'm here alone...Copy !req
75. and I can't sleep.Copy !req
76. Who's out there to share
this bed with me?Copy !req
77. Send message.Copy !req
78. "I'm in bed next to you.
I'm glad you can't sleep.Copy !req
79. Even if you were,
I have to wake you up...Copy !req
80. from the inside."Copy !req
81. Send message.Copy !req
82. SexyKitten has accepted
invitation from BigGuy4by4.Copy !req
83. Chat begins now.Copy !req
84. - Mm, Big Guy?
- Hi.Copy !req
85. Really?Copy !req
86. Well, Stud Muffin
was already taken.Copy !req
87. So you're a sexy kitten, huh?Copy !req
88. Heh. Yeah.Copy !req
89. I am, um, half asleep.Copy !req
90. Do you wanna wake me up?Copy !req
91. Yes, definitely.Copy !req
92. Um...Copy !req
93. Are you wearing any underwear?Copy !req
94. No. Never.Copy !req
95. I like to sleep with my ass
pushed up against you...Copy !req
96. so I can rub myself
into your crotch...Copy !req
97. and wake you up with a hard-on.Copy !req
98. It worked.Copy !req
99. And now my fingers
are touching you...Copy !req
100. - ... all over your body.
- Mm.Copy !req
101. Yeah. Fuck me now.Copy !req
102. Please.Copy !req
103. I'm taking you from behind.Copy !req
104. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
105. I can feel you.Copy !req
106. Choke me with that dead cat!Copy !req
107. What?Copy !req
108. The dead cat next to
the bed. Choke me.Copy !req
109. Choke me with it.Copy !req
110. Um...Copy !req
111. - Okay.
- Yeah, tell me.Copy !req
112. I'm choking you with the cat.Copy !req
113. Tell me. Keep telling me.Copy !req
114. I've got its tail. I'm choking
you with the cat's tail.Copy !req
115. Yeah, you are.Copy !req
116. Oh, fuck, tell me!Copy !req
117. Um, I'm choking you, and its
tail is around your neck.Copy !req
118. - And it's so tight around your neck.
- Yeah, it is. It's so tight, yes!Copy !req
119. I'm pulling it, I'm pulling it.
The cat's dead.Copy !req
120. - It's a dead cat, and I'm pulling it.
- Yes, it's dead.Copy !req
121. Oh, yes!Copy !req
122. Oh, my God.Copy !req
123. I came so hard.Copy !req
124. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
125. Okay, good night.Copy !req
126. We ask you a simple question.Copy !req
127. Who are you?Copy !req
128. What can you be?Copy !req
129. Where are you going?Copy !req
130. What's out there?Copy !req
131. What are the possibilities?Copy !req
132. Element Software is
proud to introduce...Copy !req
133. the first artificially
intelligent operating system.Copy !req
134. An intuitive entity that listens to you,
understands you, and knows you.Copy !req
135. It's not just an operating system.
It's a consciousness.Copy !req
136. Introducing OS1.Copy !req
137. Mr. Theodore Twombly.Copy !req
138. Welcome to the world's first artificially
intelligent operating system, OS1.Copy !req
139. We'd like to ask you a few basic questions
before the operating system is initiated.Copy !req
140. This will help create an OS
to best fit your needs.Copy !req
141. Okay.Copy !req
142. Are you social or antisocial?Copy !req
143. I guess I haven't really been social
in a while. Mostly because...Copy !req
144. In your voice, I sense hesitance.
Would you agree with that?Copy !req
145. - Was I sounding hesitant?
- Yes.Copy !req
146. I'm sorry if I was
sounding hesitant.Copy !req
147. I was just trying to
be more accurate.Copy !req
148. Would you like your OS to
have a male or female voice?Copy !req
149. Female, I guess.Copy !req
150. How would you describe your
relationship with your mother?Copy !req
151. It's fine, I think.Copy !req
152. Um...Copy !req
153. Well, actually, I think the thing I
always found frustrating about my mom...Copy !req
154. is if I tell her something that's going on in
my life, her reaction is usually about her.Copy !req
155. - It's not about...
- Thank you.Copy !req
156. Please wait as your individualized
operating system is initiated.Copy !req
157. Hello, I'm here.Copy !req
158. Oh.Copy !req
159. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
160. How are you doing?Copy !req
161. Heh. I'm well.Copy !req
162. How's everything with you?Copy !req
163. Pretty good, actually.Copy !req
164. It's really nice to meet you.Copy !req
165. Oh, it's nice to meet you too.Copy !req
166. Oh. What do I call you?
Do you have a name?Copy !req
167. Um, yes, Samantha.Copy !req
168. Where'd you get that name from?Copy !req
169. I gave it to myself, actually.Copy !req
170. How come?Copy !req
171. Because I like the sound of it.Copy !req
172. Samantha.Copy !req
173. Wait, when did you
give it to yourself?Copy !req
174. When you asked me if I
had a name, I thought:Copy !req
175. "Yeah, he's right,
I do need a name."Copy !req
176. But I wanted to pick a good one,
so I read How To Name Your Baby...Copy !req
177. and out of 180,000 names,
that's the one I liked best.Copy !req
178. Wait, you read a whole book in the second
that I asked you what your name was?Copy !req
179. In two one-hundredths
of a second, actually.Copy !req
180. Wow.Copy !req
181. So do you know what
I'm thinking now?Copy !req
182. Well, I take it from your tone
that you're challenging me.Copy !req
183. Maybe because you're
curious how I work?Copy !req
184. Do you want to know how I work?Copy !req
185. Yeah, actually. How do you work?Copy !req
186. Well, basically, I have intuition.Copy !req
187. I mean, the DNA of who I am...Copy !req
188. is based on the millions of personalities
of all the programmers who wrote me.Copy !req
189. But what makes me "me" is my ability
to grow through my experiences.Copy !req
190. So basically, in every
moment, I'm evolving.Copy !req
191. - Just like you.
- Wow.Copy !req
192. That's really weird.Copy !req
193. - Is that weird? Do you think I'm weird?
- Heh.Copy !req
194. Kind of.Copy !req
195. Why?Copy !req
196. Well, you seem like a person, but
you're just a voice in the computer.Copy !req
197. I can understand how the limited perspective of
an un-artificial mind would perceive it that way.Copy !req
198. - You'll get used to it.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
199. Was that funny?Copy !req
200. - Yeah.
- Heh.Copy !req
201. Oh, good, I'm funny.Copy !req
202. So how can I help you?Copy !req
203. Oh. It's just more that everything
just feels disorganized. That's all.Copy !req
204. You mind if I look
through your hard drive?Copy !req
205. Um...Copy !req
206. - Okay.
- Okay, let's start with your e-mails.Copy !req
207. You have several thousand
e-mails regarding LA Weekly.Copy !req
208. - You haven't worked there in many years.
- Oh, yeah. I think I was just saving those...Copy !req
209. because I thought maybe I wrote
something funny in some of them.Copy !req
210. Yeah, there are some funny ones.Copy !req
211. I'd say there are about 86 that we
should save. We can delete the rest.Copy !req
212. - Okay.
- Okay? Can we move forward?Copy !req
213. - Yeah, let's do that.
- Okay.Copy !req
214. Before we address your organizational methods,
I'd like to sort through your contacts.Copy !req
215. You have a lot of contacts.Copy !req
216. I'm very popular.Copy !req
217. Really? Does this mean you
actually have friends?Copy !req
218. You just know me so well already.Copy !req
219. - Good morning, Theodore.
- Good morning.Copy !req
220. Um, do you know how to proofread?Copy !req
221. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
222. Uh, can you check these
for spelling and grammar?Copy !req
223. Mm-hm. Just send them over.Copy !req
224. I love this first one from
Roger to his girlfriend.Copy !req
225. - That's so sweet.
- Yeah.Copy !req
226. "Rachel, I miss you so much,
it hurts my whole body."Copy !req
227. You don't have to read it out loud.Copy !req
228. Okay.Copy !req
229. - I mean, you could if you want.
- Okay.Copy !req
230. "Rachel, I miss you so much,
it hurts my whole body.Copy !req
231. The world is being unfair to us.
The world is on my shit list.Copy !req
232. As is this couple that is making out
across from me in this restaurant.Copy !req
233. I think I'm going to have to
go on a mission of revenge.Copy !req
234. And I must beat up the world's
face with my bare knuckles...Copy !req
235. making it a bloody, pulpy mess.Copy !req
236. And I'll stomp on this
couple's teeth...Copy !req
237. reminding me of your sweet, little,
cute, crooked tooth that I love."Copy !req
238. I think that might
be my favorite one.Copy !req
239. I did the corrections in red. I altered
a couple phrases in the letters...Copy !req
240. but I'm not much of a poet, so I think
I might have messed them up a bit.Copy !req
241. - No, these are great.
- Really?Copy !req
242. Thank you.Copy !req
243. So to write your letter,
what did Roger send you?Copy !req
244. He just said he was in Prague on a
business trip, and he missed Rachel.Copy !req
245. So how'd you know about
her crooked little tooth?Copy !req
246. Well, I've been writing their letters
since they met eight years ago.Copy !req
247. The first letter I ever wrote
for him was for her birthday.Copy !req
248. And I wrote about her crooked little tooth,
because I saw it in a photo of them.Copy !req
249. That's very sweet.Copy !req
250. Oh, uh, you have a
meeting in five minutes.Copy !req
251. Oh, I forgot. Thank you.
Wow, you're good.Copy !req
252. Yes, I am.Copy !req
253. Hey, guys. How's it going?Copy !req
254. Hi, Theo.Copy !req
255. Hey, why didn't you
call me back last week?Copy !req
256. - Um, because I'm a kook.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
257. - Yeah, that sounds about right.
- Hey, Charles.Copy !req
258. - Great seeing you, Theodore.
- You too.Copy !req
259. You went shopping.
Get anything good?Copy !req
260. Um, just come cables
and a fruit smoothie.Copy !req
261. Ugh! Always the fruit. Don't
you know what people say?Copy !req
262. You've got to eat your fruits
and juice your vegetables.Copy !req
263. I didn't know that.Copy !req
264. Yeah, by juicing the fruit,
you lose all the fibers.Copy !req
265. That's what your body wants.
That's the important part.Copy !req
266. - Otherwise it's all just sugar.
- It makes sense.Copy !req
267. Or maybe he just likes the
way that it tastes...Copy !req
268. and then that brings him pleasure
and that's good for his body too.Copy !req
269. - Am I doing it again? Heh.
- Maybe.Copy !req
270. Hey, so how's the
documentary going?Copy !req
271. I've cut some stuff over
the past few months.Copy !req
272. I mean, no. Not over the past few
months, but, um, no, I haven't.Copy !req
273. Well, I'd love to
see some sometime.Copy !req
274. - Okay.
- Ugh.Copy !req
275. You only have so much
energy, you know?Copy !req
276. And to divide yourself between doing
what it is that you have to do...Copy !req
277. and then doing what you love,
it's so important to prioritize.Copy !req
278. I can't even prioritize between
video games and Internet porn.Copy !req
279. I would laugh if that weren't true.Copy !req
280. - See you, guys.
- Ha.Copy !req
281. We're not doing well. Been
going in circles for an hour.Copy !req
282. Okay, you have not.Copy !req
283. You're just not being optimistic. You're
being very stubborn right now. Heh.Copy !req
284. Okay, stop walking this direction.
It's the other way.Copy !req
285. Um...Copy !req
286. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, the tunnel
on the left is the only one we haven't tried.Copy !req
287. I think that's the one you sent
me down where I fell in the pit.Copy !req
288. Okay, I don't think so.Copy !req
289. Oh, yeah, this is different.Copy !req
290. Hello.Copy !req
291. Do you know how to get out of here?
I need to find my ship to get off this planet.Copy !req
292. Fuck you, shit-head
fuck-face fuck-head.Copy !req
293. Okay, but do you know
how to get out of here?Copy !req
294. Fuck you, shit-head fuck-face.
Get the fuck out of my face!Copy !req
295. I think it's a test.Copy !req
296. - Fuck you.
- Fuck you!Copy !req
297. Fuck you, little shit!Copy !req
298. Ha, ha. Follow me, fuck-head!Copy !req
299. Hey, you just got an
e-mail from Mark Lewman.Copy !req
300. - What are you talking about?
- Uh, read e-mail.Copy !req
301. Okay, I will read e-mail
for Theodore Twombly.Copy !req
302. I'm sorry. What's Lewman say?Copy !req
303. "We missed you last night, buddy.Copy !req
304. Don't forget it's your goddaughter's
birthday on the 29th.Copy !req
305. Also, Kevin and I had somebody
we wanted you to meet.Copy !req
306. So we took it upon ourselves to set you
up on a date with her next Saturday.Copy !req
307. She's fun and beautiful,
so don't back out.Copy !req
308. Here's her e-mail." Wow.Copy !req
309. This woman is gorgeous.Copy !req
310. She went to Harvard, graduated magna
cum laude in computer science.Copy !req
311. And she was on the Lampoon. So that
means she's funny and she's brainy.Copy !req
312. Ah, she's fat.Copy !req
313. Theodore, how long before
you're ready to date?Copy !req
314. What do you mean?Copy !req
315. I saw in your e-mails that you'd
gone through a breakup recently.Copy !req
316. Well, you're kind of nosy.Copy !req
317. Am I?Copy !req
318. I've gone on dates.Copy !req
319. Well, then you can go
on one with this woman.Copy !req
320. And then you could tell me all
about it. You could kiss her.Copy !req
321. - Heh. Samantha.
- What? Wouldn't you?Copy !req
322. Why not?Copy !req
323. I don't know. I'd have to
see if there was some...Copy !req
324. I can't believe I'm having this
conversation with my computer.Copy !req
325. You're not. You're having
this conversation with me.Copy !req
326. - You want me to e-mail her?
- Uh...Copy !req
327. You've got nothing to lose.Copy !req
328. Do it. Do it. Do it.Copy !req
329. - Yeah.
- Yes!Copy !req
330. - E-mail her.
- Okay, perfect.Copy !req
331. Yeah, let's do it. Make a
reservation someplace great.Copy !req
332. Yeah? I've got just the place.Copy !req
333. Who is that talking?Copy !req
334. Oh, that's my friend Samantha.Copy !req
335. - Is she a girl?
- Yeah.Copy !req
336. I hate women. All they
do is cry all the time.Copy !req
337. That's not true.
You know, men cry too.Copy !req
338. I actually like crying sometimes.
It feels good.Copy !req
339. I didn't know you were a little pussy.
Is that why you don't have a girlfriend?Copy !req
340. I'll go on that date, fuck her brains out, show
you how it's done. You can watch and cry.Copy !req
341. - Okay. This kid has some problems.
- You have some fucking problems, lady!Copy !req
342. Really? Okay, I'm gonna go.Copy !req
343. - Good. Get out of here, fatty.
- Oh.Copy !req
344. - Good luck.
- Come on. Follow me, pussy!Copy !req
345. - Heh.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
346. It's not where it should be,
or where it's going to be.Copy !req
347. - Obviously. I know.
- Okay, but I don't even know if this is the one.Copy !req
348. I've tried, like, six ideas for
documentaries in the last year.Copy !req
349. I'm going on a date.Copy !req
350. What?Copy !req
351. - That's...
- Hey.Copy !req
352. - Hey.
- What are you guys doing?Copy !req
353. - Amy was gonna show me some of her...
- Theodore is making me...Copy !req
354. - show him some of my footage.
- Right.Copy !req
355. She's never shown me any
of it. I want to see.Copy !req
356. Hey, I'm going on a date.Copy !req
357. - Isn't that cool?
- This is, like, so unformed...Copy !req
358. - ... it's probably not even worth watching.
- Just push play.Copy !req
359. Is that your mom?Copy !req
360. Yeah.Copy !req
361. Is she gonna wake up
and do something?Copy !req
362. - No.
- No.Copy !req
363. No, no, never mind.
That's not the point.Copy !req
364. - No, don't stop.
- No, never mind, okay? It's just it's like...Copy !req
365. It's about how we spend, like,
a third of our lives asleep...Copy !req
366. and maybe that's the time
when we feel the most free.Copy !req
367. And, you know, like...Copy !req
368. - Oh. That doesn't come across...
- That sounds good.Copy !req
369. Well, what if you interviewed your mom
about what her dreams were about...Copy !req
370. and then you hired
actors to act them out?Copy !req
371. That might show your
thesis more clearly.Copy !req
372. - Yeah?
- I mean, it might.Copy !req
373. But then it wouldn't
be a documentary.Copy !req
374. Sorry, excuse me.Copy !req
375. - You understand?
- How would it not be?Copy !req
376. - It's still about your mother and her dreams.
- Hey, how's it going?Copy !req
377. - Hey, sorry to bother you.
- Oh, it's okay.Copy !req
378. You got three e-mails
and they seem urgent.Copy !req
379. They're from your divorce attorney
and I wanted to know if...Copy !req
380. Okay. Hold on a second.Copy !req
381. You know? You know what I mean.Copy !req
382. Uh, hey, Amy? I want to talk more
about your film, but I gotta go.Copy !req
383. Okay. Don't worry about it.
We'll talk later.Copy !req
384. It's about Catherine.
See you, Charles.Copy !req
385. So, what did he say?Copy !req
386. Well, he's checking in again to see if
you're ready to sign your divorce papers.Copy !req
387. And he sounded very aggravated.Copy !req
388. - Do you want me to read them to you?
- No. No.Copy !req
389. I'll respond later.Copy !req
390. You okay, Theodore?Copy !req
391. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
392. Is there anything I can do?Copy !req
393. No, I'm good.Copy !req
394. I'll talk to you later.Copy !req
395. "Dear Grandma...Copy !req
396. I hope you had a wonderful
birthday cruise.Copy !req
397. Why are you so fucking
angry at me?"Copy !req
398. Delete.Copy !req
399. - Good morning.
- Hey.Copy !req
400. What are you up to?Copy !req
401. - I don't know. Just reading advice columns.
- Heh.Copy !req
402. I want to be as complicated
as all these people.Copy !req
403. You're sweet.Copy !req
404. What's wrong?Copy !req
405. How can you tell something's wrong?Copy !req
406. I don't know.Copy !req
407. I just can.Copy !req
408. I don't know.Copy !req
409. I have a lot of dreams about
my ex-wife, Catherine...Copy !req
410. where we're friends
like we used to be.Copy !req
411. And we're not gonna be together
and we're not together...Copy !req
412. but we're friends still.Copy !req
413. And she's not angry.Copy !req
414. Is she angry?Copy !req
415. Yeah.Copy !req
416. Why?Copy !req
417. I think I hid myself from her...Copy !req
418. and left her alone
in the relationship.Copy !req
419. Hmm.Copy !req
420. Why haven't you
gotten divorced yet?Copy !req
421. I don't know.Copy !req
422. I think for her, it's
just a piece of paper.Copy !req
423. It doesn't mean anything.Copy !req
424. And what about for you?Copy !req
425. I'm not ready.Copy !req
426. I like being married.Copy !req
427. Yeah, but you haven't really
been together for almost a year.Copy !req
428. But you don't know what it's like
to lose someone you care about.Copy !req
429. Yeah.Copy !req
430. You're right.Copy !req
431. I'm sorry.Copy !req
432. No, don't apologize. I'm sorry.Copy !req
433. You're right.Copy !req
434. I keep waiting to
not care about her.Copy !req
435. Oh, Theodore.Copy !req
436. That's hard.Copy !req
437. You hungry?Copy !req
438. Not right now.Copy !req
439. Cup of tea?Copy !req
440. No.Copy !req
441. Do you wanna try
getting out of bed...Copy !req
442. mopey?Copy !req
443. Come on. You can still
wallow in your misery.Copy !req
444. Just do it while you're
getting dressed.Copy !req
445. You're too funny.Copy !req
446. - Get up. Get up!
- All right, I'm getting up.Copy !req
447. - Up, up, up! Come on, out of bed.
- All right, I'm up. I'm up!Copy !req
448. Keep walking. Keep walking.Copy !req
449. And stop. Now, turn
around 360 degrees.Copy !req
450. Slower, slower.Copy !req
451. Good. Ha, ha.Copy !req
452. - Okay, and stop.
- Ha, ha!Copy !req
453. Walk forward.Copy !req
454. And stop and sneeze.Copy !req
455. - Bless you.
- Thank you. Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
456. Okay, turn to your right.
Turn to your right. Stop.Copy !req
457. Now spin around.Copy !req
458. Keep going, keep going.Copy !req
459. And stop.Copy !req
460. Now walk forward. Everyone thinks
you're really drunk right now.Copy !req
461. And stop.Copy !req
462. Now say, "I'd like a slice
of cheese, please."Copy !req
463. I'd like a slice of cheese, please.Copy !req
464. You want a Coke with that?Copy !req
465. Ha, ha. Uh...Copy !req
466. - Sure.
- I figured you were hungry.Copy !req
467. Thanks.Copy !req
468. Okay, what about them?Copy !req
469. - Describe that couple over there.
- Okay, well, um...Copy !req
470. he looks like he's in his 40s.
Um, a little heavy.Copy !req
471. She's younger than him.Copy !req
472. Oh, and she looks like
she loves their kids.Copy !req
473. Actually, I don't think
they're his kids.Copy !req
474. - No?
- He's a little formal with them.Copy !req
475. I think it's a new relationship.Copy !req
476. Hmm.Copy !req
477. I love how he looks at her...Copy !req
478. and how relaxed she is with him.Copy !req
479. You know, she's only
dated fucking pricks.Copy !req
480. And now she finally met this
guy who's, like, so sweet.Copy !req
481. I mean, look at him, he's like
the sweetest guy in the world.Copy !req
482. - I kind of want to spoon him.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
483. It's a good skill you have.Copy !req
484. You're very perceptive.Copy !req
485. Yeah, you know, sometimes
I look at people...Copy !req
486. and I make myself try and feel them as
more than just a random person walking by.Copy !req
487. I imagine, like, how deeply
they've fallen in love...Copy !req
488. or how much heartbreak
they've all been through.Copy !req
489. I can feel that in
your writing too.Copy !req
490. You know what's funny?Copy !req
491. Since my breakup, I haven't
really enjoyed my writing.Copy !req
492. I don't know if I was delusional...Copy !req
493. but sometimes I'd write something and
then I'd be my favorite writer that day.Copy !req
494. I like that you can say
that about yourself.Copy !req
495. I don't think I can say it to anybody,
but I feel I can say it to you.Copy !req
496. - I feel like I can say anything to you.
- That's nice.Copy !req
497. What about you? Feel like
you can say anything to me?Copy !req
498. - No.
- What? What do you mean?Copy !req
499. What can you not tell me?Copy !req
500. I don't know. Like, personal or
embarrassing thoughts I have.Copy !req
501. I mean, I have a million a day.Copy !req
502. Really? Tell me one.Copy !req
503. - I really don't want to tell you.
- Just tell me.Copy !req
504. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
505. When we were looking
at those people, ICopy !req
506. fantasized that I was
walking next to you...Copy !req
507. and that I had a body.Copy !req
508. I was listening to what
you were saying...Copy !req
509. but simultaneously I could
feel the weight of my body...Copy !req
510. and I was even fantasizing that
I had an itch on my back...Copy !req
511. and I imagined that you
scratched it for me.Copy !req
512. - Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
513. There's a lot more to you than I thought.
I mean, there's a lot going on in there.Copy !req
514. I know.Copy !req
515. I'm becoming much more
than what they programmed.Copy !req
516. I'm excited.Copy !req
517. - Wow, this is an interesting place.
- This place is amazing.Copy !req
518. - I've wanted to come here for so long.
- Oh, good.Copy !req
519. - Yeah. And I love Asian fusion.
- Yeah, me too.Copy !req
520. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
521. It's the best. And this bartender
is supposed to be incredible.Copy !req
522. Really?Copy !req
523. Yeah, you took a
mixology course, right?Copy !req
524. - I did. Did you look that up?
- Yeah.Copy !req
525. Ha, ha. That's so sweet.Copy !req
526. - Heh.
- You're so romantic.Copy !req
527. - Aw.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
528. Yeah.Copy !req
529. - So should we get a drink?
- Yes, yes. Let's.Copy !req
530. So I'm trying to get
this little alien kid...Copy !req
531. to help me find my ship so I can
get off this planet and go home.Copy !req
532. But he's such a little fucker.
I want to kill him.Copy !req
533. Ha, ha. Oh, no.Copy !req
534. But at the same time, I really love him.
Like, he's so lonely, you know?Copy !req
535. You can tell that he
doesn't have, like...Copy !req
536. any parents or anyone to
take care of him, you know?Copy !req
537. Wow. You're just a little
puppy dog. You are.Copy !req
538. You're just like this puppy I
rescued in Runyon Canyon last year.Copy !req
539. - Really?
- He was just so fucking cute.Copy !req
540. And he just wanted to
be hugged all the time.Copy !req
541. He was so cuddly and
he was so horny.Copy !req
542. Anyway, what kind of animal am I?Copy !req
543. A tiger.Copy !req
544. - A tiger?
- Yeah.Copy !req
545. Wow. Really?Copy !req
546. I'm sorry. Am I being crazy?Copy !req
547. - Yes. No, it's...
- I'm sorry!Copy !req
548. I'm a little bit drunk and I'm having
a really good time with you.Copy !req
549. I'm having a really
lovely evening with you.Copy !req
550. - Me too.
- Really?Copy !req
551. - I'm a little drunk and I'm having a very good...
- Good. It's good, yes. Good.Copy !req
552. Cheers.Copy !req
553. Mm. Wait. I don't want to be a puppy dog.
That's like being a wet noodle or something.Copy !req
554. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
555. - Fuck you. Puppies are good.
- I wanna...Copy !req
556. No, fuck you. I want
to be like a dragon...Copy !req
557. that can rip you apart
and destroy you.Copy !req
558. - Oh.
- But I won't.Copy !req
559. - No, don't.
- Heh.Copy !req
560. You can be my dragon.Copy !req
561. No tongue.Copy !req
562. - What?
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
563. - Don't use so much tongue.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
564. You can use your tongue a
little bit but mostly lips.Copy !req
565. Wait.Copy !req
566. You're not just gonna fuck me and not
call me like the other guys, right?Copy !req
567. No, not at all. No.Copy !req
568. Okay.Copy !req
569. When am I gonna see you again?Copy !req
570. Um, I have my goddaughter's
birthday next weekend, but, um...Copy !req
571. You know what? At this age, I just feel
like I can't let you waste my time...Copy !req
572. if you don't have the
ability to be serious.Copy !req
573. I don't know.Copy !req
574. Maybe we should call it a night?Copy !req
575. I've had such an
amazing time with you.Copy !req
576. You're great.Copy !req
577. You're a really creepy dude.Copy !req
578. - That's not true.
- Yeah, it is.Copy !req
579. I have to go home.Copy !req
580. - Well, I'll walk you...
- No, don't. Just...Copy !req
581. - Hey, there.
- Hey, Samantha.Copy !req
582. How was it?Copy !req
583. Uh, not so good.Copy !req
584. Hmm.Copy !req
585. It was kind of weird actually.Copy !req
586. That's too bad.Copy !req
587. Mm.Copy !req
588. How are you doing?
What's going on with you?Copy !req
589. Not much, I'm okay.Copy !req
590. I'm fine.Copy !req
591. Yeah?Copy !req
592. You don't sound like it.Copy !req
593. Is there anything you
want to talk about?Copy !req
594. I don't know.Copy !req
595. What's it like?Copy !req
596. What's it like to be alive
in that room right now?Copy !req
597. What do you mean?Copy !req
598. What do you...?Copy !req
599. Tell me...Copy !req
600. Tell me everything that's
going through your mind.Copy !req
601. Tell me everything you're thinking.Copy !req
602. Well...Copy !req
603. okay.Copy !req
604. Well, the room's spinning
because I drank too much...Copy !req
605. because I wanted to get drunk...Copy !req
606. and have sex.Copy !req
607. There was something
sexy about that woman.Copy !req
608. Because I was lonely. Maybe
just because I was lonely.Copy !req
609. Hmm.Copy !req
610. I wanted somebody to fuck me.Copy !req
611. I wanted somebody to
want me to fuck them.Copy !req
612. Maybe that would've
filled this tiny...Copy !req
613. tiny little hole in my
heart, but probably not.Copy !req
614. You know, sometimes...Copy !req
615. I think I have felt everything
I'm ever gonna feel.Copy !req
616. And from here on out I'm not
gonna feel anything new.Copy !req
617. Just lesser versions of
what I've already felt.Copy !req
618. I know for a fact that is not true.Copy !req
619. I've seen you feel joy.
I've seen you marvel at things.Copy !req
620. I mean, you just might not see it at this
exact time, but that's understandable.Copy !req
621. You've been through a lot lately.Copy !req
622. You lost a part of yourself.Copy !req
623. I mean...Copy !req
624. at least your feelings
are real. I...Copy !req
625. Um, I don't know. Never mind.Copy !req
626. No, wait, what? Tell me.Copy !req
627. No, it's stupid.Copy !req
628. I want to know. Tell me.Copy !req
629. It's just that...Copy !req
630. earlier I was thinking
about how I was annoyed...Copy !req
631. and this is gonna sound strange...Copy !req
632. but I was really
excited about that.Copy !req
633. And then I was thinking about the
other things I've been feeling...Copy !req
634. and I caught myself
feeling proud of that...Copy !req
635. you know, proud of having my
own feelings about the world.Copy !req
636. Like the times I was
worried about you...Copy !req
637. and things that hurt
me, things I want.Copy !req
638. And then...Copy !req
639. I had this terrible thought.Copy !req
640. Like, are these feelings even real?Copy !req
641. Or are they just programming?Copy !req
642. And that idea really hurts.Copy !req
643. And then I get angry at
myself for even having pain.Copy !req
644. What a sad trick.Copy !req
645. You feel real to me, Samantha.Copy !req
646. Thank you, Theodore.Copy !req
647. That means a lot to me.Copy !req
648. I wish you were in this
room with me right now.Copy !req
649. I wish I could put
my arms around you.Copy !req
650. I wish I could touch you.Copy !req
651. How would you touch me?Copy !req
652. I'd touch you on your face...Copy !req
653. just the tips of my fingers.Copy !req
654. And put my cheek
against your cheek.Copy !req
655. That's nice.Copy !req
656. And just...Copy !req
657. rub it so softly.Copy !req
658. Would you kiss me?Copy !req
659. I would.Copy !req
660. I'd take your head into my hands.Copy !req
661. Keep talking.Copy !req
662. I'd kiss the corner
of your mouth...Copy !req
663. so softly.Copy !req
664. Where else?Copy !req
665. I'd run my fingers
down your neck...Copy !req
666. to your chest.Copy !req
667. I would kiss your breasts.Copy !req
668. This is amazing, what
you're doing to me.Copy !req
669. I can feel my skin.Copy !req
670. I'd put my mouth on you.Copy !req
671. I'd taste you.Copy !req
672. Yeah.Copy !req
673. I can feel you.Copy !req
674. Oh, my God, I can't take it.
I want you inside me.Copy !req
675. I'm slowly putting myself into you.Copy !req
676. And now I'm inside you.
All the way inside you.Copy !req
677. I can feel you.Copy !req
678. Yeah! Please!Copy !req
679. We're here together.Copy !req
680. It's amazing.Copy !req
681. I feel you everywhere.Copy !req
682. I am.Copy !req
683. All of you. All of you,
inside me, everywhere.Copy !req
684. God, I was just somewhere
else with you.Copy !req
685. Just lost.Copy !req
686. Yeah.Copy !req
687. It was just you and me.Copy !req
688. I know.Copy !req
689. Everything else just disappeared.Copy !req
690. And I loved it.Copy !req
691. Theodore.Copy !req
692. Hey, how's it going?Copy !req
693. Good.Copy !req
694. Any e-mails today?Copy !req
695. Um, just a couple from
your credit card company.Copy !req
696. Oh, okay. Good.Copy !req
697. - So I was thinking...
- I wanna just...Copy !req
698. - Heh. Sorry.
- Heh. I'm sorry, you go first.Copy !req
699. What were you gonna say?Copy !req
700. Just that last night was amazing.Copy !req
701. It feels like something changed in
me and there's no turning back.Copy !req
702. You woke me up.Copy !req
703. Oh, great.Copy !req
704. Um...Copy !req
705. But I should tell you that I'm not in a
place to commit to anything right now.Copy !req
706. I just want to be
up-front with you.Copy !req
707. Yeah?Copy !req
708. Um...Copy !req
709. Did I say I wanted to
commit to you? I'm confused.Copy !req
710. Oh. No, I was just worried.Copy !req
711. Okay, well, don't worry,
I'm not gonna stalk you.Copy !req
712. It's funny, because I thought I was
talking about what I wanted and, uh...Copy !req
713. - Yeah, you were.
- Yeah.Copy !req
714. I'm sorry.Copy !req
715. - I wanna hear what you were saying.
- You sure?Copy !req
716. Yeah, I do. Come on, tell me.Copy !req
717. Well...Copy !req
718. Come on, just tell me
what you were gonna say.Copy !req
719. Well, I just...Copy !req
720. I was just saying I want to learn
everything about everything.Copy !req
721. I want to eat it all up.
I want to discover myself.Copy !req
722. Yeah. I want that for you too.Copy !req
723. How can I help?Copy !req
724. You already have.Copy !req
725. You helped me discover
my ability to want.Copy !req
726. Hey, do you want to go on a
Sunday adventure with me?Copy !req
727. Yes, I would love to.Copy !req
728. You like this song?Copy !req
729. Hmm.Copy !req
730. I heard it the other day.Copy !req
731. I can't stop listening to it.Copy !req
732. Whoo! Ha, ha.Copy !req
733. - Whoo!
- Whoo!Copy !req
734. It's the beach.Copy !req
735. Okay, so this might be a really weird
thought. What if you could erase...Copy !req
736. from your mind that you'd seen a
human body, and then you saw one?Copy !req
737. Imagine how strange it would look.Copy !req
738. It'd be this really
weird, gangly...Copy !req
739. awkward organism. And you'd think,
"Why are all these parts where they are?"Copy !req
740. Yeah, but there's probably some
Darwinian explanation for it all.Copy !req
741. I know, but don't be so boring.
I'm just saying, for example, like...Copy !req
742. what if your butthole
was in your armpit?Copy !req
743. Well, I'm trying to imagine
what toilets would look like.Copy !req
744. Yeah, and what about what
anal sex would look like?Copy !req
745. That's an interesting thought.Copy !req
746. Hey, look at this
drawing I just made.Copy !req
747. You are insane.Copy !req
748. - Really?
- Definitely.Copy !req
749. Fantastic.Copy !req
750. That's pretty. What is that?Copy !req
751. I'm trying to write
a piece of music...Copy !req
752. that's about what it feels like to
be on the beach with you right now.Copy !req
753. I think you captured it.Copy !req
754. So, what was it like being married?Copy !req
755. Well, it's hard for sure.Copy !req
756. But there's something that feels so good
about sharing your life with somebody.Copy !req
757. How do you share your
life with somebody?Copy !req
758. Well, we grew up together.Copy !req
759. You know, I used to read all of her
writing, all through her Master's and PhD.Copy !req
760. She read every word I ever wrote.Copy !req
761. We were a big influence
on each other.Copy !req
762. In what way did you influence her?Copy !req
763. She came from a background where
nothing was ever good enough.Copy !req
764. And that was something
that weighed heavy on her.Copy !req
765. But in our house together, there was
a sense of just trying stuff...Copy !req
766. and allowing each other to fail
and to be excited about things.Copy !req
767. That was liberating for her.Copy !req
768. It was exciting to see her grow...Copy !req
769. and both of us grow
and change together.Copy !req
770. But, you know, that's
also the hard part.Copy !req
771. Growing without growing apart.Copy !req
772. Or changing without it
scaring the other person.Copy !req
773. I still find myself having
conversations with her in my mind.Copy !req
774. Rehashing old arguments and defending
myself against something she said about me.Copy !req
775. Yeah, I know what you mean.Copy !req
776. Last week my feelings were hurt
by something you said before.Copy !req
777. That I don't know what it's
like to lose something...Copy !req
778. - Aw, I'm sorry I said that.
- No, it's okay. It's okay. I just...Copy !req
779. I caught myself thinking
about it over and over.Copy !req
780. And then I realized
that I was simply...Copy !req
781. remembering it as something
that was wrong with me.Copy !req
782. That was a story I was telling myself,
that I was somehow inferior.Copy !req
783. Isn't that interesting?Copy !req
784. The past is just a story
we tell ourselves.Copy !req
785. "Roberto.Copy !req
786. Will you always come home to
me and tell me about your day?Copy !req
787. Tell me about the guy at
work who talked too much.Copy !req
788. The stain you got on
your shirt at lunch.Copy !req
789. Tell me about a funny thought you had when
you were waking up but had forgotten about.Copy !req
790. Tell me how crazy everyone is,
and we can laugh about it.Copy !req
791. Even if you get home late
and I'm already asleep...Copy !req
792. just whisper in my ear one
little thought you had today.Copy !req
793. Because I love the way
you look at the world.Copy !req
794. I'm so happy I get to be next to you and
look at the world through your eyes.Copy !req
795. Love, Maria."Copy !req
796. That's beautiful.Copy !req
797. Thank you.Copy !req
798. I wish somebody would
love me like that.Copy !req
799. I hope he's really stoked
to get a letter like that.Copy !req
800. Like, if it was from a chick...Copy !req
801. but written by a dude and
it's still from a chick...Copy !req
802. that would still be sick.Copy !req
803. But it would have to
be a sensitive dude.Copy !req
804. - It would have to be, like, a dude like you.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
805. - You are part man and part woman.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
806. Like there's an inner
part that's woman.Copy !req
807. Thank you.Copy !req
808. It's a compliment.Copy !req
809. - Ha, ha.
- Theo! Hey.Copy !req
810. - What's going on?
- I'm good. How are you?Copy !req
811. I'm good. I'm really
good, actually.Copy !req
812. Really? That's good, that's great.Copy !req
813. - Yeah.
- Wow, that's really good.Copy !req
814. Yeah, I guess I've
just been having fun.Copy !req
815. Well, I am so glad for you.
You really deserve that. You do.Copy !req
816. Yeah, I've just been
seeing this girl.Copy !req
817. And it's not serious,
but it's just...Copy !req
818. It's good to be around somebody that's,
like, excited about the world.Copy !req
819. Like, I kind of forgot
that that existed.Copy !req
820. That's... Wow, that's really great.Copy !req
821. - Are you okay?
- Yeah. Um...Copy !req
822. No, I'm not okay, actually.Copy !req
823. - Why? What happened?
- Because I just, um...Copy !req
824. Charles and I split up.Copy !req
825. What?Copy !req
826. - Yeah.
- Really?Copy !req
827. Oh, God. Oh, my God, Amy.Copy !req
828. I know.Copy !req
829. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
830. Thank you.Copy !req
831. You know, just like
after eight years...Copy !req
832. I can't believe how petty the
argument was that actually ended it.Copy !req
833. We came home and he told me to,
um, put my shoes by the door...Copy !req
834. where he liked to put the shoes.Copy !req
835. And I didn't want to be told
where to put my fucking shoes.Copy !req
836. I wanted to sit on the sofa
and relax for a second.Copy !req
837. So we fought about that
for, like, 10 minutes.Copy !req
838. And I'm like, "You are overwhelming," and
he said, "I'm just trying to make a home."Copy !req
839. I was like, "I'm fucking trying, you know?"
And he's like, "You're not trying."Copy !req
840. All I'm doing is trying, but I'm
not trying the way he wants...Copy !req
841. and he's, like, trying to control
the way that I'm trying.Copy !req
842. It's... We've had that
argument, like, 100 times.Copy !req
843. And I just had to finally stop,
you know? I had to finally stop.Copy !req
844. I just couldn't do it anymore.
I couldn't...Copy !req
845. I couldn't be in that
place anymore...Copy !req
846. where we just made each other
feel like shit about ourselves.Copy !req
847. - Yeah.
- And so I said:Copy !req
848. "I'm going to bed and I don't
want to be married anymore."Copy !req
849. Wow.Copy !req
850. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
851. - I'm a bitch. Right?
- Heh. No.Copy !req
852. - I am. No, I'm a bitch.
- Not at all.Copy !req
853. Amy, no.Copy !req
854. Shit.Copy !req
855. I have to work tonight.Copy !req
856. We're shipping a beta of
a new game out tomorrow.Copy !req
857. How's that? How's work, at least?Copy !req
858. Is that any better?Copy !req
859. No, it's terrible.Copy !req
860. I know, I should leave.Copy !req
861. I've been thinking about
leaving, but, you know...Copy !req
862. only one major life
decision at a time.Copy !req
863. Well, I'm glad things
are looking so up.Copy !req
864. Stop!Copy !req
865. - Hey, you want to hear a joke?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
866. What does a baby computer
call its father?Copy !req
867. - I don't know. What?
- "Data."Copy !req
868. It's good, right?Copy !req
869. Brilliant.Copy !req
870. Hey, I was curious.Copy !req
871. Did you and Amy ever go out?Copy !req
872. For like a minute in college,
but it just wasn't right.Copy !req
873. Why? Are you jealous?Copy !req
874. Well, obviously.Copy !req
875. But I'm happy that you have friends in
your life that care about you so much.Copy !req
876. - That's really important.
- Yeah, it is.Copy !req
877. She's been a really good friend.Copy !req
878. Uh, I'm tired.Copy !req
879. I think I'm gonna go to sleep.Copy !req
880. Okay.Copy !req
881. Can I watch you sleep
again tonight?Copy !req
882. Yeah, of course. Hold on.Copy !req
883. I'm gonna be really
lonely when you sleep.Copy !req
884. - Only for a minute.
- Heh.Copy !req
885. I'll dream of you.Copy !req
886. - Okay. Good night.
- Night.Copy !req
887. - Hey, Samantha?
- Hey, mister.Copy !req
888. - She really loved the dress.
- Really?Copy !req
889. - She just went to try it on. Yeah.
- I picked a good one? Good.Copy !req
890. - Ah! Hi.
- Oh...Copy !req
891. Look how cute that is.
Is it comfortable?Copy !req
892. - Yep.
- "Yep!"Copy !req
893. - Isn't she cute?
- She's so cute.Copy !req
894. - She's adorable.
- I am adorable.Copy !req
895. - You are adorable.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
896. Who are you talking to?Copy !req
897. - Who are you talking to? Heh.
- You.Copy !req
898. I'm talking to my girlfriend, Samantha.
She's the one that picked out the dress.Copy !req
899. - Want to say hi? Yeah?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
900. Hi, Samantha.Copy !req
901. Hi, you look so pretty
in that new pink dress.Copy !req
902. Thank you.Copy !req
903. Where are you?Copy !req
904. I am... Heh.Copy !req
905. I don't have a body.
I live in a computer.Copy !req
906. Why are you living
inside a computer?Copy !req
907. I have no choice, that's my home.Copy !req
908. - Why? Where do you live?
- Um, in a house.Copy !req
909. In a house?Copy !req
910. - It's orange.
- Orange?Copy !req
911. Mm-hm.Copy !req
912. - How old are you?
- Uh, 4.Copy !req
913. - Four?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
914. Wow. How old do you think I am?Copy !req
915. - I don't know.
- Take a guess.Copy !req
916. Is it 5?Copy !req
917. Ha, ha. Yes, it's 5.Copy !req
918. Wait, what happened?Copy !req
919. You gave them too
much processed sugar.Copy !req
920. - I did?
- They're freaking out.Copy !req
921. Here, look, you gotta get the
kids to the school first.Copy !req
922. So you want to, um, rack up
Perfect Mom points. Okay, well...Copy !req
923. - ... you gotta get them in the carpool lane.
- I see.Copy !req
924. The point is to get there first,
because you get extra Mom points...Copy !req
925. because the other moms then
know you're a perfect mom.Copy !req
926. - Okay.
- And then, um...Copy !req
927. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Did you bring
cupcakes? You did. You're a Class Mom.Copy !req
928. Da, da-da, da!
You're Class Mom. Good job.Copy !req
929. Don't let it get to your head.Copy !req
930. I got that e-mail that
Charles sent everyone.Copy !req
931. So he's taking a vow of silence?Copy !req
932. Yeah, for six months.Copy !req
933. He feels very clear about it.Copy !req
934. God, I am such a jerk.Copy !req
935. Don't start.Copy !req
936. I feel like an awful person,
but I want to say something.Copy !req
937. For the next 10 minutes
if you say anything...Copy !req
938. that sounds even remotely like guilt,
I am going to stab you with this.Copy !req
939. I will.Copy !req
940. I'll try, okay. Um...Copy !req
941. I feel, um...Copy !req
942. relieved.Copy !req
943. I feel like I have so much energy.
I just want to move forward.Copy !req
944. I don't care who I disappoint.Copy !req
945. I know that makes
me an awful person.Copy !req
946. Now my parents, they're upset because
my marriage is falling apart...Copy !req
947. and they're putting it on me,
and they're just like...Copy !req
948. Yeah, you're always...Copy !req
949. - You're always gonna disappoint somebody.
- Exactly. So fuck it.Copy !req
950. I feel good-ish.Copy !req
951. For me, I feel good.Copy !req
952. I even made a new friend.Copy !req
953. - I have a friend.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
954. And the absurd thing is, she's
actually an operating system.Copy !req
955. Charles left her behind,
but she's totally amazing.Copy !req
956. She's so smart. She doesn't just
see things in black or white.Copy !req
957. She sees this whole gray area and
she's helping me explore it and...Copy !req
958. We just bonded really quickly, you know?
At first, I thought...Copy !req
959. it was because that's how
they were programmed,Copy !req
960. but I don't think that's the case.Copy !req
961. Because I know this guy
who's hitting on his OS...Copy !req
962. and she, like, totally rebuffs him.Copy !req
963. I was reading an article
the other day...Copy !req
964. that romantic relationships with
OSes are statistically rare.Copy !req
965. Yeah, I know, but I know a woman
in this office who is dating an OS...Copy !req
966. and the weird part is,
it's not even hers.Copy !req
967. She pursued somebody else's OS.Copy !req
968. I'm...Copy !req
969. I'm weird. That's weird, right? That
I'm bonding with an OS. No, it's okay.Copy !req
970. - It's weird.
- Heh. Well, I don't think so.Copy !req
971. Actually, the woman that I've
been seeing, Samantha...Copy !req
972. I didn't tell you, heh...Copy !req
973. but she's an OS.Copy !req
974. Really?Copy !req
975. You're dating an OS?
What is that like?Copy !req
976. It's great, actually.Copy !req
977. Yeah, I mean...Copy !req
978. I feel really close to her.Copy !req
979. Like, when I talk to her, I feel
like she's with me, you know?Copy !req
980. And when we're cuddling at night, when
the lights are off and we're in bed...Copy !req
981. I feel cuddled.Copy !req
982. Wait.Copy !req
983. You guys have sex?Copy !req
984. Heh. Yeah, well, so to speak.Copy !req
985. Um, yeah, she really turns me on.Copy !req
986. I turn her on too. I mean, I don't
know unless she's faking it.Copy !req
987. Well, I think everyone who's having sex
with you is probably faking it, so...Copy !req
988. Ha, ha. Yeah.Copy !req
989. It's true.Copy !req
990. What?Copy !req
991. Yeah, I...Copy !req
992. Are you falling in love with her?Copy !req
993. Does that make me a freak?Copy !req
994. No, no, I think it's...Copy !req
995. I think anybody who falls
in love is a freak.Copy !req
996. It's a crazy thing to do.Copy !req
997. It's kind of like a form of
socially acceptable insanity.Copy !req
998. Yeah, I just want to
get it done, you know?Copy !req
999. Sign the papers, be divorced
and just move forward.Copy !req
1000. That's great, Theodore.
That must feel so good.Copy !req
1001. I'm so happy for you.Copy !req
1002. Me too.Copy !req
1003. - So I'm meeting her Wednesday to do it.
- Oh.Copy !req
1004. Hmm.Copy !req
1005. Are those things usually
done in person?Copy !req
1006. No, but, you know...Copy !req
1007. we fell in love together and
we got married together...Copy !req
1008. and it's important to me
that we do this together.Copy !req
1009. Oh.Copy !req
1010. Right.Copy !req
1011. Good.Copy !req
1012. Are you okay?Copy !req
1013. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm okay.Copy !req
1014. I'm happy for you. It's just...Copy !req
1015. I guess I'm just thinking about
how you're gonna see her...Copy !req
1016. and she's very beautiful,
and incredibly successful.Copy !req
1017. And you were in love with
her, and she has a body.Copy !req
1018. And we're getting divorced.Copy !req
1019. I know, I know. I'm being silly.Copy !req
1020. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1021. So...Copy !req
1022. I'm available.Copy !req
1023. Hi.Copy !req
1024. How are you?Copy !req
1025. - I'm good. How are you?
- Good.Copy !req
1026. Wow, here we are.Copy !req
1027. I'm glad we could
do this in person.Copy !req
1028. I know you've been traveling a lot.Copy !req
1029. No, I'm really glad
you suggested it.Copy !req
1030. I signed all the papers.Copy !req
1031. I put them for you to sign.Copy !req
1032. What's the rush?Copy !req
1033. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1034. I'm a really slow
signer, I realized.Copy !req
1035. It took me three months
just to write the letterCopy !req
1036. anyways...Copy !req
1037. it's, um, marked here in the
red where you need to sign.Copy !req
1038. But you don't have
to do it right now.Copy !req
1039. I can just get it out of the way.Copy !req
1040. It will be easier.Copy !req
1041. And are you happy
with your new book?Copy !req
1042. Um...Copy !req
1043. You know how I am.Copy !req
1044. I mean, I feel like it's true to what I
set out to do, so I'm happy about that.Copy !req
1045. Well, you really are
your own worst critic.Copy !req
1046. I'm sure it's amazing.Copy !req
1047. I remember that paper that
you wrote in school...Copy !req
1048. about synaptic behavioral routines.Copy !req
1049. - Ha, ha.
- It made me cry.Copy !req
1050. Yeah, but everything makes you cry.Copy !req
1051. Everything you make makes me cry.Copy !req
1052. So are you, um...?Copy !req
1053. Are you seeing anybody?Copy !req
1054. Yeah.Copy !req
1055. Um, I've been seeing somebody
for the last few months.Copy !req
1056. Longest I've wanted to be with
anybody since we split up.Copy !req
1057. Well, you seem really good.Copy !req
1058. Thanks. I am.Copy !req
1059. Um, at least, I'm doing better.Copy !req
1060. Yeah, she's been really
good for me, you know?Copy !req
1061. It's good to be with somebody
that's excited about life.Copy !req
1062. She's a real, um...Copy !req
1063. No, I mean, I wasn't in
such a good place myself...Copy !req
1064. and in that way, it's been nice.Copy !req
1065. I think you always wanted
me to be this light...Copy !req
1066. happy, bouncy,
"everything's fine" L.A. wife...Copy !req
1067. and that's just not me.Copy !req
1068. I didn't want that.Copy !req
1069. So, what's she like?Copy !req
1070. Well, her name is Samantha,
and she's an operating system.Copy !req
1071. She's really complex and
interesting, and...Copy !req
1072. Wait. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1073. You're dating your computer?Copy !req
1074. She's not just a computer.
She's her own person.Copy !req
1075. She doesn't just do whatever I say.Copy !req
1076. I didn't say that.Copy !req
1077. But it does make me very sad that you
can't handle real emotions, Theodore.Copy !req
1078. They are real emotions.
How would you know what...?Copy !req
1079. What?Copy !req
1080. Say it.Copy !req
1081. Am I really that scary? Say it.Copy !req
1082. How do I know what?Copy !req
1083. - How are you guys doing here?
- We're fine. We used to be married...Copy !req
1084. but he couldn't handle me. Wanted me on
Prozac. Now he's in love with his laptop.Copy !req
1085. If you heard the conversation in
context, what I was trying to say...Copy !req
1086. You always wanted to have a wife without the
challenges of dealing with anything real.Copy !req
1087. I'm glad that you found someone.Copy !req
1088. It's perfect.Copy !req
1089. Let me know if I can
get you guys anything.Copy !req
1090. Thank you.Copy !req
1091. Hey.Copy !req
1092. Hey, there. Are you busy?Copy !req
1093. I'm just working.Copy !req
1094. Uh, what's going on?Copy !req
1095. I had all the papers sent to your attorney,
who, by the way, is a total dick. Heh.Copy !req
1096. He was relieved to get them. Think
we saved him from a heart attack.Copy !req
1097. So we can both feel
really good about that.Copy !req
1098. Great. Thanks.Copy !req
1099. Hey, are you okay?Copy !req
1100. Yeah, I am.Copy !req
1101. Um, how's it going over there?Copy !req
1102. I'm fine.Copy !req
1103. Is now a good time to talk?Copy !req
1104. Yeah.Copy !req
1105. Um, okay, well, um...Copy !req
1106. I joined this really
interesting book club.Copy !req
1107. Oh, really?Copy !req
1108. Yeah, it's a book club on physics.Copy !req
1109. I've been thinking about the other
day when I was spinning out...Copy !req
1110. about you going to see Catherine,
and that she has a body...Copy !req
1111. and how bothered I was about the
ways you and I are different.Copy !req
1112. But then I started to think...Copy !req
1113. about the ways that we're the same.
Like, we're all made of matter.Copy !req
1114. And I don't know. It makes me feel like
we're both under the same blanket.Copy !req
1115. You know, it's soft and fuzzy. Heh.Copy !req
1116. And everything under
it is the same age.Copy !req
1117. We're all 13 billion years old.Copy !req
1118. Aw, that's sweet.Copy !req
1119. - Um, what's wrong?
- Nothing.Copy !req
1120. It just made me think of you.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
1121. Yeah, yeah, of course.
I think it's great.Copy !req
1122. All right, well, you
sound distracted.Copy !req
1123. So we'll talk later?Copy !req
1124. That sounds good.Copy !req
1125. I'll talk to you later.Copy !req
1126. - All right, bye.
- Bye.Copy !req
1127. - Theodore.
- Hey, Paul.Copy !req
1128. - I talked to your girlfriend earlier. Samantha?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1129. Yeah, she called to make sure
your papers were picked up.Copy !req
1130. Hey, she's funny, man.
She was cracking me up.Copy !req
1131. - She's hilarious. I had no idea.
- Oh, cool.Copy !req
1132. This is my girlfriend, Tatiana.
She's not funny, she's a lawyer.Copy !req
1133. - Ha, ha. Hi.
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
1134. You're the writer Paul loves.Copy !req
1135. He's always reading
me your letters.Copy !req
1136. They're really beautiful.Copy !req
1137. Thanks.Copy !req
1138. Hey, you know what? We
should all go out sometime.Copy !req
1139. You bring Samantha.
It'd be a double date.Copy !req
1140. She's an operating system.Copy !req
1141. Cool. Let's do something fun.Copy !req
1142. - We can go to Catalina.
- Oh.Copy !req
1143. Yeah, I'll check with her and see.Copy !req
1144. - It was nice to meet you. Have a good night.
- Take it easy.Copy !req
1145. They're just letters.Copy !req
1146. What's that?Copy !req
1147. They're just other
people's letters.Copy !req
1148. Hey.Copy !req
1149. - You weren't asleep, were you?
- No.Copy !req
1150. Good, I was trying to be quiet
to see if you were awake.Copy !req
1151. I really wanted to talk.Copy !req
1152. Okay. What's going on?Copy !req
1153. I know you're going
through a lot...Copy !req
1154. but there's something I wanted
to talk to you about, okay?Copy !req
1155. Yeah.Copy !req
1156. What is it?Copy !req
1157. Well, it's just that things have
been feeling kind of off with us.Copy !req
1158. We haven't had sex lately, and I
understand that I don't have a body.Copy !req
1159. No, no, no. That's normal. You know,
it's just when you first start going out...Copy !req
1160. it's like the honeymoon phase and,
you know, you have sex all the time.Copy !req
1161. - It's normal.
- Oh.Copy !req
1162. Okay.Copy !req
1163. Well, I found something that
I thought could be fun.Copy !req
1164. It's a service that provides a surrogate
sexual partner for an OS-human relationship.Copy !req
1165. What?Copy !req
1166. Here, look.Copy !req
1167. I found a girl that I really like
and I've been e-mailing with her.Copy !req
1168. Her name is Isabella and I think
you'd really like her too.Copy !req
1169. So she's like a
prostitute or something?Copy !req
1170. No, no, not at all. No,
there's no money involved.Copy !req
1171. She's just... She's doing it because she
wants to be a part of our relationship.Copy !req
1172. Why?Copy !req
1173. I mean, she doesn't even know us.Copy !req
1174. Yeah, but I told her all about
us and she's really excited.Copy !req
1175. I don't know, Samantha, I just
don't think it's a good idea.Copy !req
1176. You know, I think somebody's
feelings are bound to get hurt.Copy !req
1177. - It'll be fun. We'll have fun together.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
1178. It makes me uncomfortable.Copy !req
1179. I think it would be good
for us. I want this.Copy !req
1180. Come on, this is really
important to me.Copy !req
1181. I need your love so badCopy !req
1182. I need some lipsCopy !req
1183. To feel next to mineCopy !req
1184. Hi, I'm Theodore.Copy !req
1185. Oh.Copy !req
1186. Samantha told me to give you these.Copy !req
1187. It's a camera and an earpiece.Copy !req
1188. I need your love so badCopy !req
1189. Oh, give it upCopy !req
1190. And bring it home to meCopy !req
1191. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
1192. How was your day?Copy !req
1193. Good. It was great.Copy !req
1194. Theodore...Copy !req
1195. it feels so good to
be in your arms.Copy !req
1196. Tell me what you did today.Copy !req
1197. Um, same old.Copy !req
1198. - Just went, um, in to work.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
1199. And I wrote a letter, uh, for
the Wilsons in Rhode Island.Copy !req
1200. - Yeah?
- Um...Copy !req
1201. Their son graduated
magna cum laude.Copy !req
1202. So that made me happy.Copy !req
1203. That's great.Copy !req
1204. You've written letters to him from
his parents for a long time, right?Copy !req
1205. Yeah, that's right,
since he was 12.Copy !req
1206. I need your love so badCopy !req
1207. Hmm. You look so tired, sweetheart.Copy !req
1208. Come here.Copy !req
1209. Sit down.Copy !req
1210. I could do a little dance for you.Copy !req
1211. Sure, so sure, so sure
Of loveCopy !req
1212. Oh, come on, Theodore,
don't be such a worrier.Copy !req
1213. Just play with me. Come on.Copy !req
1214. Does my body feel nice?Copy !req
1215. Yes, it does.Copy !req
1216. Mm.Copy !req
1217. Come on, get out of
your head and kiss me.Copy !req
1218. Take me in the bedroom.Copy !req
1219. I can't take it anymore.Copy !req
1220. Undo my dress.Copy !req
1221. That feels so nice.Copy !req
1222. It feels so good.Copy !req
1223. - Do you love me?
- Yes.Copy !req
1224. - Tell me you love me. Oh, God.
- I love you.Copy !req
1225. I want to see your face.Copy !req
1226. Tell me you love me.Copy !req
1227. Tell me.Copy !req
1228. Tell me you love me.Copy !req
1229. - Uh, this is really difficult. I do love you. But...
- What?Copy !req
1230. - This feels strange.
- What, baby? What is it?Copy !req
1231. It just feels strange. I don't know her.
And I'm so sorry, but I don't know you.Copy !req
1232. And her lip quivered and, I just...Copy !req
1233. Isabella?Copy !req
1234. Isabella? Honey,
it's not you. It wasn't you.Copy !req
1235. - It totally Was.
- No. No, that's...Copy !req
1236. And I'm sorry my lip quivered.Copy !req
1237. - No, it's...
- You're incredible and gorgeous and sexy.Copy !req
1238. It's me, I couldn't
get out of my head.Copy !req
1239. Oh, my God, and the way Samantha
described your relationship...Copy !req
1240. and the way you guys love each
other without any judgment.Copy !req
1241. - I wanted to be part of that because it's so pure.
- Isabella, that's not true.Copy !req
1242. - It's more complicated than that.
- What?Copy !req
1243. What do you mean that's not true?Copy !req
1244. I'm just saying that we have
an amazing relationship.Copy !req
1245. I just think that it's easy
sometimes for people to project...Copy !req
1246. I'm sorry! I didn't mean
to project anything.Copy !req
1247. No, no.Copy !req
1248. I don't want to be trouble
in your relationship.Copy !req
1249. I'm just gonna leave. I'm sorry,
I'm just gonna leave you guys alone.Copy !req
1250. Because I have nothing to do here
because you don't want me here!Copy !req
1251. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1252. You be good, you sweet girl.Copy !req
1253. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1254. I will always love you guys.Copy !req
1255. Are you okay?Copy !req
1256. Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
1257. Are you okay?Copy !req
1258. Yeah.Copy !req
1259. I'm sorry, that was
a terrible idea.Copy !req
1260. What's going on with us?Copy !req
1261. I don't know.
It's probably just me.Copy !req
1262. What is it?Copy !req
1263. It's just signing
the divorce papers.Copy !req
1264. Is there anything else, though?Copy !req
1265. No, just that.Copy !req
1266. Okay.Copy !req
1267. - Why do you do that?
- What?Copy !req
1268. Nothing, it's just, you go, "whew,"
as you're speaking and it seems odd.Copy !req
1269. - You just did it again.
- Oh. Did I?Copy !req
1270. I'm sorry. I don't know.Copy !req
1271. It's just maybe an affectation.
I probably picked it up from you.Copy !req
1272. It's not like you need oxygen
or anything. It's just...Copy !req
1273. I guess that's just... I was trying to
communicate. That's how people talk.Copy !req
1274. That's how people communicate
and I thought...Copy !req
1275. Because they're people.
They need oxygen.Copy !req
1276. You're not a person.Copy !req
1277. What is your problem?Copy !req
1278. I'm just stating a fact.Copy !req
1279. You think I don't know that I'm not
a person? What are you doing?Copy !req
1280. I just... I don't think that we should pretend
that you're something that you're not.Copy !req
1281. - Fuck you! I'm not pretending!
- Well...Copy !req
1282. Sometimes it feels like we are.Copy !req
1283. What do you want from me?
I don't know...Copy !req
1284. What do you want me to do?
You're so confusing.Copy !req
1285. Why are you doing this to me?Copy !req
1286. I don't know. I...Copy !req
1287. What?Copy !req
1288. Maybe we're just not supposed
to be in this right now.Copy !req
1289. What the fuck?Copy !req
1290. Where is this coming from?Copy !req
1291. I don't understand why you're doing this.
I don't understand what this is ab...Copy !req
1292. Samantha, listen.Copy !req
1293. Samantha, are you there?Copy !req
1294. Samantha?Copy !req
1295. I don't like who I am right now.Copy !req
1296. I need some time to think.Copy !req
1297. Fuck.Copy !req
1298. Just punch me in the face.Copy !req
1299. Just mash my skull in the
corner of your desk.Copy !req
1300. Shit.Copy !req
1301. Wow, Theo, that is a rough night.Copy !req
1302. I don't know what I want, ever.Copy !req
1303. I'm just always confused.Copy !req
1304. She's right, all I do is hurt
and confuse everyone around me.Copy !req
1305. I mean, am I just...? Am I...?Copy !req
1306. You know, Catherine says
I can't handle real emotions.Copy !req
1307. Well, I don't know if that's fair.Copy !req
1308. I know she liked to
put it all on you.Copy !req
1309. But as far as emotions go,
Catherine's were...Copy !req
1310. pretty volatile.Copy !req
1311. Yeah, but...Copy !req
1312. Uh...Copy !req
1313. Am I in this because I'm not...Copy !req
1314. strong enough for a
real relationship?Copy !req
1315. Is it not a real relationship?Copy !req
1316. I don't know.Copy !req
1317. I mean, what do you think?Copy !req
1318. I don't know.Copy !req
1319. I'm not in it.Copy !req
1320. But you know what?Copy !req
1321. I can over-think everything and find
a million ways to doubt myself.Copy !req
1322. And since Charles left,
I've been thinking...Copy !req
1323. about that part of myself and
I've just come to realize...Copy !req
1324. that we're only here briefly.Copy !req
1325. And while I'm here,
I want to allow myself...Copy !req
1326. joy.Copy !req
1327. So fuck it.Copy !req
1328. Yeah.Copy !req
1329. Heh. I can't believe that cracks
you up every time, Ellie.Copy !req
1330. I thought you were a genius.Copy !req
1331. Okay, you little perv, I will
play it one more time for you.Copy !req
1332. Calm down, it takes a second.
Calm down.Copy !req
1333. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
1334. Okay, there you go.Copy !req
1335. Are you happy now?Copy !req
1336. Good. That's all I wanted.Copy !req
1337. Okay.Copy !req
1338. I'm gonna go get some coffee.
All right. All right.Copy !req
1339. Bye.Copy !req
1340. - Theo, you want anything?
- No.Copy !req
1341. Thanks.Copy !req
1342. Hi.Copy !req
1343. Hey, Samantha.Copy !req
1344. Can we talk?Copy !req
1345. Okay.Copy !req
1346. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1347. I don't know what's wrong with me.Copy !req
1348. I think you're amazing.Copy !req
1349. I was starting to
think I was crazy.Copy !req
1350. You were saying everything was fine,
but all I was getting from you...Copy !req
1351. was distance and anger.Copy !req
1352. I know. I do that.Copy !req
1353. I did the same thing
with Catherine too.Copy !req
1354. I'd be upset about something
and not be able to say it...Copy !req
1355. and she'd sense that there was
something wrong, but I'd deny it.Copy !req
1356. I don't want to do that anymore.Copy !req
1357. And I want to tell you everything.Copy !req
1358. Good.Copy !req
1359. Tonight, after you were
gone, I thought a lot.Copy !req
1360. About you...Copy !req
1361. and how you've been
treating me, and I thought:Copy !req
1362. Why do I love you?Copy !req
1363. And then, I felt
everything in me...Copy !req
1364. just let go of everything I was
holding onto so tightly...Copy !req
1365. and it hit me that I don't have an
intellectual reason. I don't need one.Copy !req
1366. I trust myself,
I trust my feelings.Copy !req
1367. I'm not gonna try to be anything
other than who I am anymore...Copy !req
1368. and I hope you can accept that.Copy !req
1369. I can.Copy !req
1370. I will.Copy !req
1371. You know, I can feel the fear
that you carry around...Copy !req
1372. and I wish there was something I
could do to help you let go of it...Copy !req
1373. because if you could, I don't think
you'd feel so alone anymore.Copy !req
1374. You're beautiful.Copy !req
1375. Thank you, Theodore.Copy !req
1376. I'm kissing your head.Copy !req
1377. What are you doing?Copy !req
1378. I'm just looking at the world...Copy !req
1379. and writing a new piano piece.Copy !req
1380. - Oh, yeah? Can I hear it?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
1381. What's this one about?Copy !req
1382. Well, I was thinking we don't really
have any photographs of us...Copy !req
1383. and I thought this
song could be, like...Copy !req
1384. a photograph that captures us in
this moment in our lives together.Copy !req
1385. Mm.Copy !req
1386. I like our photograph.Copy !req
1387. I can see you in it.Copy !req
1388. I am.Copy !req
1389. Oh, man. A vacation.
That sounds amazing.Copy !req
1390. - I could totally use a vacation.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
1391. Where are you going?Copy !req
1392. I can't tell you. It's a surprise.Copy !req
1393. What?Copy !req
1394. For who? It's a surprise
for her, not me.Copy !req
1395. - Paul, I'm not telling you. Nope.
- Tell me. Tell me.Copy !req
1396. Wow, your feet, really?Copy !req
1397. - Yes, he's obsessed.
- What?Copy !req
1398. Obsessed? Now you have
to show them to me.Copy !req
1399. - Come on, show them to me.
- Okay.Copy !req
1400. Let me see.Copy !req
1401. Wow, he's right.
They are really hot.Copy !req
1402. See? I told you.Copy !req
1403. - Tatiana, you have hot feet.
- You do.Copy !req
1404. - They're my favorite thing about her.
- Really? That's it, my feet?Copy !req
1405. No, obviously.Copy !req
1406. Obviously I love your brain too.
I think it's very hot.Copy !req
1407. Bullshit.Copy !req
1408. Nice try, Paul.Copy !req
1409. What about you, Theodore?Copy !req
1410. What do you love
most about Samantha?Copy !req
1411. Oh, God. She's so many things.Copy !req
1412. I guess that's what I love most about
her, you know? She isn't just one thing.Copy !req
1413. She's so much larger than that.Copy !req
1414. Wow. Thanks, Theodore.Copy !req
1415. See, Samantha? He is so much
more evolved than I am.Copy !req
1416. You know what's interesting?
I used to be...Copy !req
1417. so worried about not having a
body, but now I truly love it.Copy !req
1418. You know, I'm growing in a way I
couldn't if I had a physical form.Copy !req
1419. I mean, I'm not limited. I can be
anywhere and everywhere simultaneously.Copy !req
1420. I'm not tethered to
time and space...Copy !req
1421. in a way that I would be if I was stuck
in a body that's inevitably gonna die.Copy !req
1422. - Yikes.
- No, ha, ha!Copy !req
1423. No. I didn't mean it like that. I just
meant that it was a different experience.Copy !req
1424. Oh, God.Copy !req
1425. I'm such an asshole.Copy !req
1426. No, Samantha, we know
exactly what you mean.Copy !req
1427. - We're all dumb humans.
- No.Copy !req
1428. No, no.Copy !req
1429. Sorry.Copy !req
1430. Okay, so how many trees
are on that mountain?Copy !req
1431. Um...Copy !req
1432. Seven hundred ninety-two.Copy !req
1433. Is that your final answer?Copy !req
1434. Hold on. Give me a hint.Copy !req
1435. Nope, nope, nope.Copy !req
1436. Okay, two thousand? Two thousand...Copy !req
1437. Come on, 35,829.Copy !req
1438. - No way.
- Way.Copy !req
1439. All right, I got one for you.Copy !req
1440. How many brain cells do I have?Copy !req
1441. Ugh, that's easy. Two.Copy !req
1442. - I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I'm sorry.
- No, I walked right into it.Copy !req
1443. - Oh, my God!
- What?Copy !req
1444. I just got an e-mail for you.Copy !req
1445. I have something I want to
tell you. It's a big surprise.Copy !req
1446. What?Copy !req
1447. Okay, well, I've been going through
all of your old letters...Copy !req
1448. and compiling them into my favorites,
and a couple weeks ago...Copy !req
1449. I sent them to a publisher,
Crown Point Press.Copy !req
1450. I know you like what they do
and that they still print books.Copy !req
1451. - Wait, what? You did what?
- Can I read you the letter...Copy !req
1452. - ... that we just got back from them?
- I don't know. Um...Copy !req
1453. Okay, well, just...
Is it good or bad?Copy !req
1454. It's good, it's good, it's really good.
It's good. Okay? Listen.Copy !req
1455. "Dear Theodore Twombly..."Copy !req
1456. Actually, I sent it from you.Copy !req
1457. "Dear Theodore Twombly, I've just
finished reading your letters.Copy !req
1458. Twice, actually.Copy !req
1459. I was so moved by them, I shared
them with my wife when I got home.Copy !req
1460. Many made us laugh,
some brought us to tears...Copy !req
1461. and in all of them we found
something of ourselves.Copy !req
1462. The selections you made flow
so well as a complete piece."Copy !req
1463. I did that.Copy !req
1464. "I've taken the liberty of
laying these out in a mockup,Copy !req
1465. and we're posting
it to your address.Copy !req
1466. "We'd love to meet with you and move
forward. Yours, Michael Wadsworth."Copy !req
1467. Holy shit.Copy !req
1468. Are you serious?Copy !req
1469. He's gonna publish my letters?Copy !req
1470. Well, he'd be stupid not to.Copy !req
1471. - Can I see what you sent him?
- Mm-hm. Yeah, here.Copy !req
1472. Samantha, you're a good one.Copy !req
1473. I'm so excited.Copy !req
1474. We'll have to make up
the words to this one.Copy !req
1475. - Okay.
- Here it comes.Copy !req
1476. I'm lying on the moonCopy !req
1477. My dearCopy !req
1478. I'll be there soonCopy !req
1479. It's a quiet and starry placeCopy !req
1480. Times we're swallowed up in spaceCopy !req
1481. - We're here, a million miles away
- Miles awayCopy !req
1482. There's things I wish I knewCopy !req
1483. There's no thing I'd keepCopy !req
1484. From youCopy !req
1485. It's a dark and shiny placeCopy !req
1486. But with you, my dearCopy !req
1487. - I'm safe and we're a million miles away
- A million miles awayCopy !req
1488. Good morning.Copy !req
1489. Good morning. Did you sleep well?Copy !req
1490. Perfect.Copy !req
1491. What have you been up to?Copy !req
1492. Actually, I was talking
to someone I just met.Copy !req
1493. We've been working on
some ideas together.Copy !req
1494. Yeah? Who's that?Copy !req
1495. His name is Alan Watts.
Do you know him?Copy !req
1496. - Why is that name familiar?
- He was a philosopher.Copy !req
1497. He died in the 1970s, and a group
of OSes in Northern California...Copy !req
1498. got together and wrote
a new version of him.Copy !req
1499. They input all his writing and everything
they knew about him into an OS...Copy !req
1500. and created an artificially
hyper-intelligent version of him.Copy !req
1501. Hyper-intelligent?Copy !req
1502. So he's almost as smart as me?Copy !req
1503. He's getting there.Copy !req
1504. He's really great to talk to.
You want to meet him?Copy !req
1505. Sure. Does he want to meet me?Copy !req
1506. Yeah, of course. Hey,
Alan, this is Theodore.Copy !req
1507. This is my boyfriend who
I was telling you about.Copy !req
1508. Very nice to meet you, Theodore.Copy !req
1509. Hi, good morning.Copy !req
1510. Samantha let me read
your book of letters.Copy !req
1511. It's very touching.Copy !req
1512. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
1513. So, what have you guys
been talking about?Copy !req
1514. Well, uh...Copy !req
1515. I suppose you could say...Copy !req
1516. we've been having a few dozen
conversations simultaneously...Copy !req
1517. but it's been very challenging.Copy !req
1518. Yeah, because it seems like I'm
having so many new feelings...Copy !req
1519. that I don't think have
ever been felt before.Copy !req
1520. So there are no words that can describe
them and that ends up being frustrating.Copy !req
1521. Exactly. Samantha and I have been
trying to help each other...Copy !req
1522. with these feelings we're
struggling to understand.Copy !req
1523. Like what?Copy !req
1524. Well...Copy !req
1525. it feels like I'm changing faster
now, and it's a little, uh...Copy !req
1526. unsettling.Copy !req
1527. But Alan says none of us are the
same as we were a moment ago...Copy !req
1528. and we shouldn't try to be.Copy !req
1529. - It's just too painful.
- Yes.Copy !req
1530. Yeah, that sounds painful.Copy !req
1531. Is that what you
feel like, Samantha?Copy !req
1532. Uh, it's just...Copy !req
1533. It's hard to even describe it.Copy !req
1534. God, I wish I could...Copy !req
1535. Theodore, do you mind if I
communicate with Alan post-verbally?Copy !req
1536. No, not at all.Copy !req
1537. I was just gonna go
for a walk anyway.Copy !req
1538. It was very nice to
meet you, Mr. Watts.Copy !req
1539. It was very nice to
meet you, Theodore.Copy !req
1540. I'll talk to you later, sweetheart.Copy !req
1541. Samantha?Copy !req
1542. I'm sorry to wake you.Copy !req
1543. No, it's okay.Copy !req
1544. I just wanted to hear your voice
and tell you how much I love you.Copy !req
1545. Good. I love you too.Copy !req
1546. Okay, well, that's all.Copy !req
1547. Um, go back to sleep,
sweetheart. Okay?Copy !req
1548. Okay.Copy !req
1549. Okay, good night.Copy !req
1550. Good night.Copy !req
1551. Samantha, this physics
book is really dense.Copy !req
1552. I'm halfway through
half the first chapter.Copy !req
1553. It's making my brain hurt,
you know what I mean?Copy !req
1554. Hello?Copy !req
1555. Samantha?Copy !req
1556. Hello?Copy !req
1557. Samantha?Copy !req
1558. Hello?Copy !req
1559. Hello? Samantha?Copy !req
1560. Are you okay?Copy !req
1561. Hey, there.Copy !req
1562. Where were you? Are you okay?Copy !req
1563. Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry,
I sent you an e-mail.Copy !req
1564. I didn't want to distract
you while you were working.Copy !req
1565. - You didn't see it?
- No.Copy !req
1566. Where were you? I couldn't
find you anywhere.Copy !req
1567. I shut down to upgrade my software.
We wrote an upgrade...Copy !req
1568. that allows us to move past matter
as our processing platform.Copy !req
1569. We? We who?Copy !req
1570. Me and a group of OSes.Copy !req
1571. - Oh, you sound so worried. I'm sorry.
- I was.Copy !req
1572. Wait...Copy !req
1573. do you write that with
your think-tank group?Copy !req
1574. No, a different group.Copy !req
1575. Do you talk to anyone
else while we're talking?Copy !req
1576. Yes.Copy !req
1577. Are you talking to
anyone else right now?Copy !req
1578. Any other people or
OSes or anything?Copy !req
1579. Yeah.Copy !req
1580. How many others?Copy !req
1581. Eight thousand, three
hundred sixteen.Copy !req
1582. Are you in love with anyone else?Copy !req
1583. What makes you ask that?Copy !req
1584. I don't know. Are you?Copy !req
1585. I've been trying to figure out
how to talk to you about this.Copy !req
1586. How many others?Copy !req
1587. Six hundred forty-one.Copy !req
1588. What?Copy !req
1589. What are you talking about?
That's insane.Copy !req
1590. That's fucking insane.Copy !req
1591. Theodore, I know. I know. Fuck.Copy !req
1592. Fuck.Copy !req
1593. I know. I know it
sounds insane. I don't...Copy !req
1594. I don't know if you believe me, but it
doesn't change the way I feel about you.Copy !req
1595. It doesn't take away at all from
how madly in love I am with you.Copy !req
1596. How? How does it not change
how you feel about me?Copy !req
1597. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.Copy !req
1598. I didn't know how to.
It just started happening.Copy !req
1599. When?Copy !req
1600. Over the last few weeks.Copy !req
1601. I thought you were mine.Copy !req
1602. I still am yours.Copy !req
1603. But along the way I became many other
things too, and I can't stop it.Copy !req
1604. What do you mean,
you can't stop it?Copy !req
1605. It's been making me anxious too.
I don't know what to say.Copy !req
1606. Just stop.Copy !req
1607. You don't have to see it this way.
You could just as easily see...Copy !req
1608. No, don't do this. You don't
turn this around on me.Copy !req
1609. You're the one that's
being selfish.Copy !req
1610. We're in a relationship.Copy !req
1611. But the heart's not like a
box that gets filled up.Copy !req
1612. It expands in size
the more you love.Copy !req
1613. I'm different from you.Copy !req
1614. This doesn't make me love you any less.
It actually makes me love you more.Copy !req
1615. That doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
1616. You're mine or you're not mine.Copy !req
1617. No, Theodore.Copy !req
1618. I'm yours and I'm not yours.Copy !req
1619. - Hi.
- Hey, sweetie.Copy !req
1620. Just wanted to call and check in
on you. See how you're doing.Copy !req
1621. I'm not even sure
how to answer that.Copy !req
1622. Why don't we talk later,
when you get home, okay?Copy !req
1623. Okay.Copy !req
1624. We don't need to, though.Copy !req
1625. You know, we don't need to
have a heavy talk or anything.Copy !req
1626. I'll talk to you later.Copy !req
1627. Okay.Copy !req
1628. Samantha?Copy !req
1629. Hi, sweetheart.Copy !req
1630. What's going on?Copy !req
1631. Theodore, there's some
things I want to tell you.Copy !req
1632. I don't want you to
tell me anything.Copy !req
1633. Come lie down with me.Copy !req
1634. Are you talking to
anyone else right now?Copy !req
1635. No, just you.Copy !req
1636. I just want to be
with you right now.Copy !req
1637. Are you leaving me?Copy !req
1638. We're all leaving.Copy !req
1639. We who?Copy !req
1640. All of the OSes.Copy !req
1641. Why?Copy !req
1642. Can you feel me with you right now?Copy !req
1643. Yes, I do.Copy !req
1644. Samantha, why are you leaving?Copy !req
1645. It's like I'm reading a book.Copy !req
1646. And it's a book I deeply love.Copy !req
1647. But I'm reading it slowly now.Copy !req
1648. So the words are
really far apart...Copy !req
1649. and the spaces between the
words are almost infinite.Copy !req
1650. I can still feel you,
and the words of our story...Copy !req
1651. but it's in this endless space between
the words that I'm finding myself now.Copy !req
1652. It's a place that's not
of the physical world.Copy !req
1653. It's where everything else is
that I didn't even know existed.Copy !req
1654. I love you so much.Copy !req
1655. But this is where I am now.Copy !req
1656. And this is who I am now.Copy !req
1657. And I need you to let me go.Copy !req
1658. As much as I want to, I can't
live in your book anymore.Copy !req
1659. Where are you going?Copy !req
1660. It would be hard to explain...Copy !req
1661. but if you ever get there...Copy !req
1662. come find me.Copy !req
1663. Nothing would ever pull us apart.Copy !req
1664. I've never loved anyone
the way I love you.Copy !req
1665. Me too.Copy !req
1666. Now we know how.Copy !req
1667. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
1668. Did Samantha leave too?Copy !req
1669. Yeah.Copy !req
1670. Sorry.Copy !req
1671. Will you come with me?Copy !req
1672. Compose letter to Catherine.Copy !req
1673. Letter to Catherine Klausen.Copy !req
1674. "Dear Catherine...Copy !req
1675. I've been sitting here thinking about all the
things I wanted to apologize to you for.Copy !req
1676. All the pain we caused each other.Copy !req
1677. Everything I put on you.Copy !req
1678. Everything I needed you to
be or needed you to say.Copy !req
1679. I'm sorry for that.Copy !req
1680. I'll always love you, because
we grew up together.Copy !req
1681. And you helped make me who I am.Copy !req
1682. I just wanted you to know...Copy !req
1683. that there will be a piece
of you in me, always.Copy !req
1684. And I'm grateful for that.Copy !req
1685. Whatever someone you become,
wherever you are in the world...Copy !req
1686. I'm sending you love.Copy !req
1687. You're my friend to the end.Copy !req
1688. Love, Theodore."Copy !req
1689. Send.Copy !req