Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

1. Js don't you know me, Kansas City? J

2. j I'm the new Berlin wall j

3. js try and tear me down! J

4. j was born on the other side j

5. js of a town ripped in two j

6. j I maae it over the great divide j

7. j now I'm coming for you j

8. j enemies and adversaries j

9. js they try and tear me down jj

10. js you want me, baby, I dare you j

11. js try and tear me down j

12. J 1 Rose from off of the doctor's slab j

13. j like Lazarus from the pit j

14. j now everyone wants to take a stab j/

15. j and decorate me j

16. j blood, graffiti, and spit j

17. j enemies and adversaries j

18. js they try and tear me down jj

19. js you want me, baby, I dare you j

20. js try and tear me down j

21. Js on August 13, 1961 j

22. j a wall was erected down the middle of the city of Berlin j

23. js the world was divided by a cold war j

24. j and the Berlin wall was the most hated symbol of that divide j,

25. js reviled, graffitied, spit upon j

26. j we thought the wall would stand forever j

27. j and now that it's gone j

28. j we don't know who we are anymore j

29. j ladies and gentlemen heawig is like that wall j,

30. js standing before you in a divide j

31. j between east and west j

32. js slavery and freedom j

33. j man and woman top and bottom j

34. j and you can try and tear her down j

35. j but before you do j

36. js you must remember one thing! J

37. j ain't much of a difference j

38. js between a bridge and a wall /

39. js without me right in the middle, babe j

40. js wow! You would be nothing at all /

41. j enemies and adversaries j

42. js they try and tear me down jj

43. js you want me, baby, I dare you j

44. I try and tear me down j

45. j enemies and adversaries j

46. js they try and tear me down jj

47. j you me want me, baby, I dare you j

48. js try and tear me down j

49. j from east Berlin to junction cily j

50. js hello, New York hello, Missouri j

51. j what? You wanna try and tear me down? J

52. Js come on and tear-rrr-j

53. j me down! J

54. Yeah!

55. - Yeah! - Yeah!

56. Hello?

57. Where is everybody?

58. Out.

59. "Out"? Why are you in such a mood?

60. I have been having the most wonderful time with -

61. do you remember that 45-year-old divorcee

62. with the hair and the mean look?

63. Well, she came up to me after the show, and I thought,

64. "this lady wants a piece of me."

65. So I didn't, you know, know what to do.

66. I was alone, I had nothing in my hand, I was gonna go for the eyes.

67. She came at me from both sides, somehow, and she just gave me a fucking hug.

68. She gave me a fucking hug.

69. Can you figure?

70. Can you fucking beat that? She gave me -

71. I also got a few drinks out of it as well, which was not a bad...

72. J was born on the other side j

73. js of a town ripped in two j

74. js made it over the great divide j

75. j now I'm coming for you j

76. j enemies and adversaries j

77. what the fuck is wrong with you?

78. Why can't we...

79. Why don't you write a new song?

80. Js you want me, baby, I dare you j

81. I try and tear me down j

82. thank you, my name is Hedwig.

83. Please welcome those ambassadors of eastern bloc rock,

84. the angry inch. Here they are, ladies and gentlemen.

85. And my man Friday...

86. - Through Thursday... - Yeah!

87. Yitzhak, ladies and gentlemen. There's no need, there's none.

88. Also very talented and so very lucky to be here, right, boys?

89. - Yeah. - Yes, miss Hedwig.

90. Look out, guys, immigration!

91. I've got their passports right here.

92. Ladies and gentlemen,

93. do you like the pelt?

94. I want you to be honest,

95. because some bitch stopped me on the way in -

96. "what poor, unfortunate creature had to die

97. for you to wear that?"

98. "My aunt Trudy," I replied.

99. Just walked away. Just walked away, ladies and gentlemen.

100. - Hedwig, can we eat dessert? - What is it? Yes, you can.

101. I am thrilled. You can join me for the fabulous first night

102. of the St. Louis leg of my world tour.

103. And when it comes to huge openings, a lot of people think of me.

104. Many more of you, though, have only recently become aware of me.

105. Yeah. It took a character assassination piece like this

106. to make you finally pay attention.

107. But now you're interested, huh?

108. Intrigued, even?

109. How did some...

110. Slip of a girly-boy from communist east Berlin

111. become the internationally ignored song stylist

112. barely standing before you?

113. That's what I want to talk about tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

114. I don't wanna talk about sudden, undeserved commercial success.

115. I don't wanna talk about betrayal, I don't wanna talk about my lawsuit

116. against a certain rock and roll "icon,"

117. Tommy gnosis,

118. who, by some freak coincidence,

119. is performing right next door at busch stadium.

120. Js try and tear me down j

121. and to whom I taught everything he knows,

122. and has apparently forgotten, about rock & roll!

123. Yes, this is Phyllis Stein.

124. Manager of Hedwig and the angry inch. I've been ho -

125. "inch"! Not "itch."

126. Let me speak to Brad, please. You know I've been holding for 24 minutes?

127. Yes. Hi, Brad, this is Phyllis.

128. So what's going on with bilgewater's?

129. You make the baby cry.

130. Well, I hear the entire chain's going under.

131. Hold on, hold on a second.

132. - Hedwig! Hedwig! - We can have a gig

133. in any bilgewater's nationwide with a 24-hour notice?

134. Yeah.

135. And they know what kind of music we play? Brad, I love you.

136. Okay, ciao.

137. People, people, people.

138. Tomorrow is a travel day.

139. It's a travel day for Tommy, so it's a travel day for us.

140. Friday, Chicago.

141. Tommy's at soldier field, and we're at bilgewater's

142. in the mall down the street.

143. And the next day, looks like he's -

144. basically, he's back on the bus.

145. Phyllis... "Basically"?

146. He's doing a record signing.

147. Why do you feel the need to lie to me?

148. Hedwig, please. Come.

149. I don't think it's going to help our lawsuit

150. if you continue to -

151. if you present the appearance of stalking him.

152. - Yeah. You know I don't like that word. - Yes, I know.

153. Please listen to me. How about you don't talk to him,

154. and I get someone to steal a photo

155. - of you two together? - A photo -

156. you know some rag will run it. Will really help the lawsuit.

157. Proves you two know each other.

158. Please,

159. let me do my job. Please?

160. Okay.

161. I'm gonna make some phone calls. I'm gonna make some phone calls!

162. All right.

163. Okay, everybody. Bedski!

164. Ladies and gentlemen, I recently found my first diary.

165. Age two through six.

166. It was fully illustrated.

167. As I unrolled the pages,

168. I realized that so many people have fouched me

169. on my way fo the stage tonight.

170. How can I say who touched me the most?

171. My father, the American gi?

172. Could it have been my east German mother?

173. Pervert!

174. Get out! Get out!

175. Go on... go on!

176. J wwhen the earth was still flat j

177. j and clouds made of fire j

178. j" and mountains stretched up to the sky j

179. j sometimes higher j

180. j folks roamed the earth j

181. j like big rolling kegs j/

182. js they had two sets of arms j

183. j they had two sets of legs j/

184. j they had two faces peering out of one giant head j

185. js so they could watch all around them j

186. js as they talked while they read j

187. j and they never j

188. j knew nothing of love j

189. j it was before j

190. johjs

191. j the origin of love j

192. j origin of love j

193. j the origin of love j

194. j origin of love j

195. j now there was three sexes then j

196. j one that looked like two men glued up back-to-back j

197. js they called the children of the sun j

198. j and similar in shape and girth j

199. j was the children of the earth j

200. j they looked like two girls rolled up in one j

201. j and the children of the moon j

202. js looked like a fork shoved on a spoon j

203. js they was part sun, part earth j

204. js part daughter, part son j

205. j aah j

206. j the origin of love j

207. js now the gods grew quite scared j

208. js of our strength and defiance j

209. j and Thor said j

210. I "I'm gonna kill em all with my hammer j

211. j like I killed the giants" j

212. j but Zeus said "no, you better let me j

213. j use my lightning like scissors j

214. j like I cut the legs off the whales j

215. j dinosaurs info lizards” j

216. j and then he grabbed up some bolts j

217. js he let out a laugh js

218. j said, "I'll split them right down the middle j

219. j gonna cut them right up in half" j

220. j and the storm clouds gathered above j

221. j info great balls of fire j

222. J and then fire j

223. j shot down from the sky in bolts j

224. j like shining blades of a knife j

225. j and they ripped right through the flesh j

226. j of the children of the sun j

227. j and the moon and the earth j

228. j" and some Indian god j

229. js sewed the wound up into a hole j

230. j pulled it round to our bellies to remind us the price we pay j

231. j and osiris and the gods of the nile j

232. js gathered up a big storm to blow a hurricane j

233. j to scatter us away j

234. j in a flood of wind and rain j

235. j a sea of tidal waves j

236. j to wash us all away j

237. j and if we don't behave j

238. js they'll cut us down again j

239. j and we'll be hopping around on one foot j

240. j looking through one eye j

241. Js the last time I saw you j

242. js we'd just split in two j

243. j you was looking at me j

244. js I was looking at you j

245. j you had a way so familiar j

246. j I could not recognize j

247. j 'cause you had blood on your face j

248. j I had blood in my eyes j

249. js but I could swear by your expression j

250. js that the pain down in your soul j

251. j was the same as the one down in mine j'

252. js thats the pain j

253. j that cuts a straight line down through the heart j

254. j we call it love j

255. js we wrapped our arms around each other j

256. js tried to shove ourselves back together j

257. js we was making love j

258. js making love j

259. j it was a cold, dark evening such a long time ago j

260. j when, by the mighty hand of jove j

261. js it was a sad story how we became js

262. j lonely two-legged creatures j

263. j" the story of the origin of love j

264. j thats the origin of love j

265. j oh, yeah j

266. j the origin of love j

267. j the origin of love j

268. j the origin of love j

269. /t is clear that I must find my other half,

270. butis it a he or a she?

271. What does this person look like?

272. Identical fo me?

273. Or somehow complementary?

274. Does my other half have what I don't?

275. Did he get the looks?

276. The luck?

277. The love?

278. Were we really separated forcibly,

279. or did he just run off with the good stuff?

280. Or did I?

281. Will this person embarrass me?

282. What about sex?

283. Is that how we put ourselves back together again?

284. Or can two people...

285. Actually become one...

286. Again?

287. I remember once when I was six years old

288. I was watching my favorite cartoon on American forces network,

289. "lesus was good.”

290. Eh?

291. In the year I was born, the wall went up.

292. And many people decided fo move west to freedom.

293. Mother threw me into a wheelbarrow and headed east.

294. The communists gave her a job

295. teaching sculpture to imbless children.

296. Most of my time was spent listening to American forces radlo.

297. J ve are freaks j

298. j we follow the code of freaks we are freaks! J

299. js we stand back, we stand back we are freaks j

300. j we do what we please and do what we choose j'

301. j we are bad j

302. our apartment was so small,

303. that mother made me play in the oven.

304. Late at night,

305. I would listen to the voices of the American masters.

306. Toni tennille, debby Boone,

307. Anne Murray, who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom.

308. Lou Reed, iggy pop,

309. David bowie, who was actually an idiom working in America and Canada.

310. These artists,

311. they left as deep an impression on me

312. as that oven rack did on my face.

313. To be a young American in muskrat love,

314. soft as an easy chair, not even the chair,

315. "I am," I said, "have I never been mellow?"

316. And the colored girls sing...

317. J do, do-do, do-do, do, do-do js

318. j do, do-do, do-do, do, do-do js

319. /~ do, do-do, do-do j

320. j do, do-do, do, do-do, do-do js

321. but never with the melody.

322. How could I do it better than Toni or Lou?

323. "Hey, boy...

324. Take a walk on the wild side!"

325. ./ by my side j

326. j you will be the one j

327. js lying by my side j

328. js lying by my side j

329. js lying by my side j

330. Okay.

331. Okay.

332. One day, in the late mid-80s...

333. I was in my early late 20s.

334. I had just been dismissed from university

335. after delivering a brilliant lecture

336. on the aggressive influence of German philosophy

337. on rock and roll, entitled,

338. "you, kant, always get what you want."

339. At 26, my academic career was over,

340. I had never kissed a boy,

341. and I was still sleeping with mom.

342. The search for my other half

343. on my side of the wall had proved futile.

344. Might he be found on the other?

345. But how to get over? You know? People died trying.

346. Such were the thoughts flooding my tiny head,

347. on the day that I was... sunning myself...

348. In an old bomb crater I had discovered near the wall.

349. I am naked,

350. face down on a piece of broken church,

351. inhaling a fragrant westerly breeze.

352. My god, I deserved a break today.

353. Girl,

354. I, I sure don't mean to annoy you.

355. My name is sergeant Luther Robinson.

356. My name is hansel.

357. Luther is silent for a moment as he stares at my...

358. "Little bishop in a turtleneck.”

359. Hansel?

360. Well, you must like candy.

361. I like gummibéarchen.

362. The taste is completely different from a gummi bear,

363. yet somehow familiar.

364. It's much sweeter than a gummi bear

365. wow.

366. And softer, foo.

367. I feel so optimistic.

368. I suddenly recognized the flavor in my mouth.

369. It's the laste of power.

370. Damn, hansel.

371. I can't believe you're not a girl.

372. You're so fine.

373. Why don't you take the whole bag?

374. He searches my face for news of his fate.

375. His expression is echoed in scores of tiny faces,

376. pressing against clear plastic,

377. panting faces of every imaginable color,

378. creed, and non-Aryan origin,

379. fogging up the bag like the windows of a Polish bathhouse.

380. Ah!

381. I stumbled naked through the ruins,

382. back fowaras blander, less complicated confections,

383. leaving in my wake a trail of rainbow carnage.

384. Next day, hansel follows the trail back,

385. and on his way finds a milky way,

386. a roll of necco wafers,

387. some pop rocks,

388. and a giant-sized sugar daddy named Luther

389. js I've got a sweet tooth js

390. j for licorice drops and jelly rolls j

391. j hey, sugar daday j

392. j hansel needs some sugar in his bow! &

393. j I'll lay out fine China on the linen &

394. j and Polish up the chrome &

395. j if you've got some sugar for me &

396. js sugar daddy, bring it home j

397. ji oh, the thrill of control

398. I like the rush of rock and roll &

399. j it's the sweetest taste I've known j

400. j if you've got some sugar bring it home j

401. looks like we've got some sugar daddies in the house.

402. J honey bees go shopping &

403. j it's something to be seen j

404. you could give me a cavity, honey.

405. J they swarm to wildflowers &

406. j; Get nectar for the queen &

407. I bet you could fill that cavity, sweetie.

408. J and everything you bring me j

409. j got me dripping like a honeycomb I

410. j if you got some sugar for me j

411. js sugar daddy, bring it home j

412. it's a car wash, ladies and gentlemen.

413. Js whoa, the thrill of control

414. j like a blitzkrieg on the roll /

415. j it's the sweetest taste I've known j

416. j; Oh, yeah I

417. j if you've got some sugar bring it home j

418. I ba-da ba-da do j

419. j come on, sugar daddy, bring it home j

420. he loves me, mother.

421. He wants to marry me...

422. And get me the hell out of here.

423. Get my passport and my camera, hansel.

424. It's a simple cut-and-paste job.

425. We change the photo,

426. and you can use my name...

427. Hedwig schmidt.

428. Not so simple, ladies.

429. Baby...

430. You know I love you.

431. I'm always thinking of you.

432. But I gotta marry you here,

433. in east Berlin.

434. And that means a full physical examination.

435. They'd see right away that I have a -

436. no, baby.

437. To walk away...

438. You gotta...

439. Leave something behind.

440. Am I right, Mrs. schmidt?

441. I've always thought so, Luther.

442. To be free, one must give up a little part of oneself.

443. And I know just the doctor to take it.

444. J; My sex change operation got botched j

445. I my guardian angel fell asleep on the watch

446. j now all I've got is a Barbie doll crotch &

447. j I've got an angry inch j

448. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

449. jy /gota I got an angry inch &

450. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

451. jy /gota I got an angry inch &

452. j I'm from the land where you still hear the cries &

453. j / had to get out had fo sever all tes &

454. ji / changed my name and assumed a disguise &

455. j 1 got an angry inch &

456. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

457. jy /gota I got an angry inch &

458. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

459. jy /gota I got an angry inch &

460. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

461. j the train is coming and I'm tied to the track j

462. j try to getup, I can't get no slack &

463. j / got an angry inch, angry inch &

464. - & my mother made my tits out of Clay & - / tits out of Clay j/

465. I my boyfriend told me that he'd take me away &

466. j they dragged me to the doctor one day &

467. j I've got an angry inch j

468. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

469. j I got a motherfucking angry inch &

470. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

471. js /gota I got an angry inch j

472. j long story short &

473. j yeah, long story short &

474. js when I woke up from the operation I was bleeding down there j

475. j I was bleeding from the gash between my legs j

476. j it's my first day as a woman j

477. j already it's that time of the month j

478. j but two days later the hole closed up j

479. j the wound healed and I was left... &

480. & with a one-inch mound of flesh &

481. I where my penis used fo be where my vagina never was &

482. I if was a one-inch mound of flesh &

483. js with a scar running down it like a sideways grimace j

484. j on an eyeless face &

485. - j it was just a little bulge j - Faggot!

486. J it was an angry inch j

487. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

488. ji the train is coming and I'm tied fo the track &

489. j try to getup, I can't get no slack &

490. j 1 got an angry inch, angry j'

491. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

492. j stay undercover till the night turns to black j

493. j 1 got my inch, I'm set to attack j

494. j / got an angry inch, angry inch &

495. ji six inches forward, five inches back j

496. ji stay undercover tll the night turns to black &

497. &' 1 got my inch, I'm set fo attack j

498. j / got an angry inch, angry inch &

499. jd six inches forward and five inches back &

500. j the train is coming and I'm tied to the track j

501. j try to getup, I can't get no slack &

502. jl I got an angry inch, angry inch j

503. jd six inches forward and five inches back &

504. ji stay undercover tll the night turns to black &

505. j 1 got my inch, I'm set to attack j

506. jl I got an angry inch, angry inch j

507. And champagne are flowing freely...

508. As long-separated family members are reunited.

509. This is unbelievable. It's a day for the history books.

510. All border crossings are reported fo be wide open,

511. and thousands are flooding into the western half of the city

512. to celebrate their newfound freedom.

513. The Berlin wall has fallen,

514. and the world will never be the same.

515. The Germans are a patient people,

516. and good things come to those who wait.

517. J on nights j

518. j like this j

519. & when the world's a bit amiss j

520. j and the lights go down across the trailer park &

521. j / get down j

522. j I feel had j

523. j feel on the verge of going mad j

524. j then it's time to punch the clock &

525. j / put on some makeup jf

526. j turn on the tape deck &

527. j and put the wig back on my head j

528. j suddenly I'm miss midwest midnight checkout queen &

529. j; Until I head home j

530. j; And I put myself to bed j

531. I look back on where I'm from j

532. j look at the woman I've become &

533. j and the strangest things seem suddenly routine

534. j I look up from my vermouth on the rocks j

535. j a gift-wrapped wig still in the box &

536. j of towering velveteen &

537. j / put on some makeup jf

538. » some lavern baker &

539. j I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf j

540. j suddenly I'm miss beehive 1963 j

541. jd until I wake up and I turn back to myself j

542. J; Some girls they got natural ease

543. j they wear it any way they please j

544. j; With their French flip curls &

545. j; And perfumed magazines &

546. I let it down &

547. j this is the best way that I've found &

548. j to be the best you've ever seen j

549. j I put on some makeup j

550. j tum on the 8-track j

551. j I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf j

552. j suddenly I'm miss Farrah fawcett from TV

553. j until I wake up &

554. j and I turn back to myself &

555. j shag, bi-level, Bob Dorothy hamill do &

556. j sausage curls, chicken wings j

557. j it's all because of you j

558. j with your blow-dried feather back j

559. j Toni home wave, foo j

560. j flip, fro, frizz, flop &

561. j it's all because of you j

562. j it's all because of you j

563. j it's all because of you j

564. Okay, everyboay!

565. J suddenly I'm this punk rock star &

566. j of stage and screen &

567. I and I ain't never I

568. j I'm never turning back j

569. J do-do-do do-do do-do jb

570. j do-do-do do-do do-do jb

571. j do-do-do do-do do-do jb

572. j do-do-do do-do do-do jb

573. j do-do-do do-do do-do jb

574. j do-do-do-do j

575. J when the earth was still flat j

576. I and clouds made of fire &

577. js the mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher j

578. ugh, I am so sorry.

579. I was waiting for the phone company.

580. God, is that his new single?

581. Don't do it, sweetie! Please don't say anything to him today.

582. If you do, he's got the power, know what I mean? He's got the power!

583. All we need is a snapshot, then they'll know that you were responsible

584. for some of the biggest hits of the millennium,

585. and you will be so fucking rich!

586. Damn it, looks like the photographer's already inside.

587. All right, everybody, stay right here. Hedwig. Hedwig. Hedwig. Hedwig.

588. Please don't say anything. Let me handle it.

589. - Yes. The Phyllis Stein party. - Who are you with?

590. We're a&r from a&m.

591. Actually, this is a private event. I'm sorry.

592. - Private event? - Mm-hmm.

593. As in, "you're not on the list."

594. - As in, "find it." - I'm looking, and you know what?

595. It's not here.

596. - Justin! Vince! - Get out of my fucking way!

597. Hey! Settle down.

598. - I could have your job! - I don't think you could.

599. - Bitches! - Where's my fucking brooch?

600. We're going to continue to shadow Tommy's tour.

601. We're going to squeeze the local press.

602. But I do not want to blow our wad

603. on my e! Channel contact until we get to New York.

604. It's all about New York. Right?

605. Honey, I've really thought about it, I think it's a bad idea, this photo-op.

606. - It was your idea. - But I'm second-guessing myself now.

607. I think...

608. I don't think you should have any personal contact with Tommy.

609. - Well, I guess we disagree. - Honey, we do disagree.

610. - But, please, listen. - Did you -

611. excuse me, did you put a bra in a dryer?

612. Did you put a bra in a dryer?

613. - Yes. - How many times do I have to tell you?

614. You don't put a bra in a dryer! It warps!

615. Hedwig, please, it's a bra.

616. You can have one of mine. Please!

617. Ugh.

618. I'm so sorry.

619. You know, ladies and gentlemen, the road is my home.

620. - My home, the road. - Hear, hear.

621. And when I think about all the people I have come upon in my travels,

622. I have to think about the people who have come upon me.

623. Tommy, can you hear me?

624. Yeah!

625. From this milk-less tit,

626. you sucked the very business we call show!

627. Okay.

628. You wanna know about Tommy gnosis?

629. Yeah!

630. Okay, I'll tell you about Tommy gnosis.

631. After my divorce, I scraped by with babysitting gigs and odd jobs.

632. Mostly the jobs we call "blow."

633. I had lost my job at the base px, and I had lost my gag reflex.

634. You do the math.

635. I sat for the baby of general speck.

636. He was the commander of the nearby army fort,

637. and his other son was...

638. Yeah, the artist formerly known as my buttboy.

639. We're talking about Tommy speck at this time.

640. Tommy speck was a 17-year-old classic rock-loving,

641. "dungeons and dragons” obsessed,

642. Jesus freak with a fish on his truck.

643. I found him incredibly...

644. Hot.

645. I had recently returned to my first love of music.

646. I had tried singing once, back in Berlin.

647. They threw tomatoes after the show...

648. I had a nice salad.

649. But newly motivated, I got myself a cheap electric piano

650. and I found a couple of Korean sergeants' wives

651. who churned out a mean rhythm section.

652. J denial! J

653. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you...

654. Both of you.

655. That song was by Mr. Kurt cobain.

656. Now that kid's got a future, huh?

657. How about kwahng-yi on guitar, ladies and gentlemen!

658. Give it up! Kwahng-yi!

659. Give it up, kwahng.

660. You know, I'd like to take it down a little. Right now.

661. What do you say, girls?

662. This is actually the first song I've ever written.

663. And, it's written for a guy to sing.

664. I know a lot of you guys out there tonight,

665. a lot better than some of you would care to admit.

666. And I know that a few of you kick some karaoke ass.

667. So...

668. If you're looking for your big, breakout single,

669. you might wanna put a bid on this one tonight,

670. ladies and gentlemen, because we are talking

671. to Phil Collins's people, right?

672. But then again, aren't we all?

673. J you know the sun is in your eyes j

674. I and hurricanes and rain &

675. j and black and cloudy skies j

676. j you're running up and down that hill &

677. j you turn it on and off at will j°

678. j there's nothing here I

679. j to thrill or bring you down &

680. j and if you've got no other choice j

681. j you know you can follow my voice &

682. j through the dark turns and noise j

683. I of this wicked little town &

684. I ah-hh... &

685. I ah-hh... &

686. I the fates are vicious &

687. j and they're cruel &

688. J you learned too late, you've used &

689. I two wishes like a fool &

690. j and then you're someone you are not &

691. j; And junction city ain't the spot &

692. & remember Mrs. lot when she turned around &

693. j and if you've got no other choice j

694. j you know you can follow my voice &

695. j through the dark turns and noise j

696. I of this wicked little town &

697. Your show...

698. That song...

699. My dad gave me this guitar to apologize for being such a pathetic little dictator.

700. - He sang me songs. - Classics.

701. The bands were new fo me.

702. Yeah!

703. Boston, Kansas,

704. America, Europe, Asia.

705. Travel exhausts me.

706. Where are you from, Hedwig?

707. I told him my story.

708. I'm from east Berlin.

709. There was a big war.

710. Have you...

711. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

712. No, but I...

713. I love his work.

714. No. What he was saving us from was his fucking father.

715. I mean, what kind of god creates Adam in his image

716. and then pulls Eve out of him to keep him company?

717. And then tells them not to eat from the tree of knowledge?

718. I mean, he was so micromanaging.

719. So was Adam.

720. But Eve...

721. Eve just wanted to know shit.

722. She took a bite of the apple,

723. and she found out what was good and what was evil.

724. Then she gave it to Adam, so he would know,

725. because they were in love.

726. And that was good, they now knew.

727. Hedwig...

728. Would you give me the apple?

729. The words falling from those ips.

730. And his eyes...

731. His irises were clear cylinders of surprising depth...

732. And emptiness.

733. Only a few puddles of bluish pain sloshed around inside.

734. Same blue as my eyes.

735. At the time, Tommy's performance options were limited

736. to the occasional guitar mass.

737. I initiated a six-month curriculum of rock history...

738. Lyrics,

739. grooming,

740. and vocal training.

741. I do, do-do, do-do... &

742. for his graduation present, I gave him his name:

743. Tommy gnosis,

744. the Greek word for knowledge.

745. We collaborated.

746. Songs exploded out of us.

747. Teenage girls started showing up.

748. In three months, we were oulgrossing monster trucks in Wichita.

749. With that kind of money coming in,

750. I was able to devote myself entirely to our career.

751. We were very happy.

752. Honey, what is wrong?

753. My dad.

754. Fucking parents!

755. You're gonna blow my house down.

756. Honey, come here.

757. Just let it go, sweetie.

758. Let it go.

759. Oh, it's gone.

760. I feel it. It's gone.

761. I'm very much aware that we haven't kissed in all the months we've been together.

762. In fact, he's maintained a near perfect ignorance

763. of the front of me.

764. Honey, sweetie, you're choking me.

765. Sweetie, let go. Take it easy.

766. You wanna work on that new song?

767. Hmm? The hit?

768. While I finish trimming your eyebrows?

769. Are you drunk?

770. I'm not drunk.

771. I'm enjoying a little...

772. You know...

773. A little rainwater and everclear.

774. J look what you've done... &

775. shit!

776. Jand/I.. J

777. j; Will always love you... j

778. what do you think?

779. You think love lasts forever?

780. No, but this song does.

781. Don't knock a multi-platinum single.

782. When you are suddenly Mr. commercial?

783. I wish I could hit those notes.

784. She's been singing this song on a loop for three days.

785. Seriously, Tom, yeah.

786. I believe love is immortal.

787. J look what you've done... &

788. fuck!

789. I can't hear myself.

790. How is it immortal?

791. I don't know, perhaps because...

792. Love creates something that...

793. Was not there before.

794. What?

795. Like procreation?

796. Yeah, but not only.

797. What?

798. Like recreation.

799. What is that?

800. Stop, you come in here crying and you wanna recreate with me.

801. Maybe just...

802. Creation.

803. Don't move.

804. J look what you've done j

805. jand/I.. J

806. j; Will always love you j

807. j I will always love you &

808. j I will always love you &

809. j I will always love you &

810. j I will always love you &

811. j will always... &

812. breathe through my mouth.

813. J love you &

814. Oh, god.

815. Oh, Hedwig...

816. When Eve was still inside Adam,

817. they were in paradise.

818. That's right, honey.

819. When she was separated from him, that's when paradise was lost.

820. So when she enters him again,

821. paradise will be regained.

822. However you want it, honey. Just kiss me while we do it.

823. Wha... what is that?

824. It's what I have to work with.

825. M-my mum's probably wondering where I am.

826. You're such a fucking sissy.

827. You are such a sissy!

828. What are you afraid of, huh?

829. What are you afraid of?

830. What?

831. I love you, I love you!

832. Then love the front of me, honey!

833. Love the...

834. Okay, now, boys.

835. We are dry, we're spent.

836. We're flat broke.

837. - Yeah. Who ordered the pizza? - Oh, pizza. Hallelujah.

838. Schlatko, what are you talking about?

839. We can't afford a pizza. This is Manhattan! We can barely -

840. come on in. We can barely afford this hole.

841. We had to cancel the gig tonight because we can't fix the amps.

842. No, I don't have any more money. Schlatko, please!

843. I got it.

844. Yes you did, and it's stunning!

845. Fuck off, Phyllis.

846. I got the part.

847. I'm playing the role of "angel"

848. in Broadway cruise's polynesian tour of rent,

849. so fuck you too, miss Hedwig!

850. I'm going to be a star. Big star.

851. There's nothing you can do about it!

852. Yeah, okay. I don't care.

853. I don't care if you have my passport.

854. Fuck you! I'm going to Guam!

855. And I want a divorce.

856. I want - ya, I want a divorce from you.

857. Mental cruelty, irreconcilable difference!

858. I'm exhausted.

859. Are you tired?

860. You look tired.

861. I think maybe we are just...

862. Both very tired.

863. Hedwig.

864. I don't think you need my help anymore.

865. J fire shot down from the sky in bolts &

866. j like shining blades of a knife &

867. j; And it nipped right through the flesh &

868. jd of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth j

869. j and some Indian god j

870. j; Sewed the wound up into a hole &

871. j pulled it round to our bellies to remind us of the price we pay j

872. j and osiris, the god... &

873. wait, did you sing "the Cyrus"?

874. No, no.

875. You just sang "the Cyrus” on that recording.

876. The Cyrus, Cyrus. Cyrus the god.

877. There's no god called "Cyrus." It's "osiris," it's an Egyptian god.

878. - Remember, we read that book - - We had two versions of that song.

879. - We had one version... - No, we had two versions -

880. and you fucked it up!

881. I know.

882. Maybe... maybe we could jam sometime?

883. Maybe we could.

884. Js that his soul was the same as the one down in mine j

885. js thats the pain j

886. j cuts a straight line down through the heart &

887. ! We called it love &

888. j; So we wrapped our arms around each other &

889. Tommy, what's your relationship to Hedwig Robinson?

890. I never knew that woman before that night, and I never knew she wasn't a woman.

891. Doll.

892. Thank you so much.

893. Hedwig and the angry inch!

894. Hedwig!

895. Hedwig!

896. J was born j

897. & on the other side I

898. j; Of a town ripped in two j

899. j and no matter how hard I try j

900. j end up black and blue &

901. 1 Rose from off of the doctor's slap &

902. j I lost a piece of my heart j

903. j now everyone gets to take a stab j

904. j they cut me up into parts &

905. j I gave a piece to my mother &

906. j / gave a piece to my man &

907. j / gave a piece to the rock star j

908. J he took the good stuff j

909. I and ran &

910. j I've got it all sewn up &

911. j a hardened razor cut scar map across my body &

912. j and you can trace the lines j

913. j through misery s designs that map across my body j

914. j a collage j

915. j I'm all sewn up j

916. js a montage js

917. j I'm all sewn up j

918. I a random pattern with a needle and thread j

919. j the overlapping way diseases are spread j

920. j to a fornado body with a hand grenade head &

921. j; And the legs of two lovers entwined &

922. j" inside I'm hollowed out outside's a paper shroud j

923. I and all the rest's illusion &

924. & that there's a will and soul I

925. jd that we can wrest control from chaos and confusion &

926. j a collage j

927. j I'm all sewn up j

928. js a montage js

929. j I'm all sewn up j

930. Js just a boy js

931. j no cosmic lover j

932. &' this wicked town j

933. j; Something beautiful and new j

934. j forgive me for I did not know j

935. J 'cause I was just a boy j

936. & you were so much more j

937. j than any god could ever plan &

938. I more than a woman or a man j&

939. I now I understand j

940. j how much I took from you &

941. j that when everything starts breaking down &

942. j you lake the pieces off the ground j

943. & show this wicked town &

944. j; Something beautiful and new j

945. j you think that luck has left you there j

946. js but maybe there's nothing j

947. j up in the sky but air &

948. j and there's no mystical design &

949. j no cosmic lover preassigned &

950. j there's nothing you can find &

951. I that cannot be found &

952. cause with all the changes you've been through &

953. j it seems the strangers always you j

954. j alone again in some new wicked little town &

955. I ah-hh &

956. I ah-hh &

957. I ah-hh &

958. I ah-hh &

959. j and when you've got no other choice j

960. j you know you can follow my voice &

961. j through the dark turns and noise j

962. I of this wicked little town &

963. I it's a wicked j

964. j little town j

965. j; Good-bye, wicked j

966. j little town j

967. I rain falls hard &

968. j burns dry &

969. j a dream or a song j

970. j that hits you so hard

971. j filling you up &

972. j suddenly gone &

973. j breathe &

974. j feelj

975. j llove jl

976. j give &

977. I free j

978. j know in your soul &

979. j like your blood knows the way &

980. j from your heart to your brain &

981. j knows that you're whole &

982. ji and you're shining like the brightest star &

983. j a transmission on the midnight radio j

984. j and you're spinning j

985. qmikea4s j

986. I ballerina &

987. j dancing to your rock and roll j

988. I here's fo Patti &

989. I and Tina &

990. I and yoko j

991. I aretha &

992. I and nona &

993. I and Nico &

994. j and me j

995. j and all the strange rock and rollers j

996. j you know you're doing all right j

997. I so hold on to each other &

998. j" you gotta hold on tonight j

999. ji and you're shining like the brightest star &

1000. j a transmission on the midnight radio j

1001. j and you're spinning j

1002. & your new 45s

1003. I all the misfits and the losers &

1004. j; Well, you know you're rock and rollers j

1005. j spinning to &

1006. & your rock and roll &

1007. J lift up your hands I

1008. j lift up your hands I

1009. j lift up your hands I

1010. j lift up your hands I

1011. j lift up your hands I

1012. j lift up your hands I

1013. I now! Now! &

1014. J lift up your hands I

1015. j lift up your hands I

1016. I when the earth was still flat &

1017. I and clouds made of fire &

1018. j and mountains stretched up to the sky &

1019. j; Sometimes higher j

1020. I folks roamed the earth &

1021. j like big rolling kegs j

1022. j they had two sets of arms I

1023. j they had two sets of legs &

1024. j they had two faces peering out of one giant head j

1025. js so they could watch all around them j

1026. j as they talked while they read &

1027. j and they never knew nothing of love &

1028. I if was before j

1029. j the origin of love &

1030. j the origin of love &

1031. I now there was three sexes then j

1032. j; One that looked like two men glued up back-to-back j

1033. j they called the children of the sun &

1034. j and similar in shape and girth &

1035. I was the children of the earth &

1036. ji they looked like two girls rolled up in one &

1037. I and the children of the moon &

1038. j; Was like a fork shoved on a spoon j

1039. j they was part sun, part earth part daughter, part son &

1040. I ah-hh the origin of love &

1041. J; Some girls they got natural ease

1042. j they wear it any way they please j

1043. j; With their French flip curls &

1044. j; And perfumed magazines &

1045. I let it down &

1046. j this is the best way that I've found &

1047. j to be the best you've ever seen j

1048. j / put on some makeup jf

1049. & turn on the 8-track j

1050. j I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf j

1051. j suddenly I'm miss Farrah fawcett from TV

1052. j until I wake up &

1053. j and I turn back to myself &

1054. j shag, bi-level, Bob Dorothy hamill do &

1055. j sausage curls, chicken wings j

1056. j it's all because of you j

1057. j with your blow-dried feather back j

1058. j Toni home wave, foo j

1059. j flip, fro, frizz, flop &

1060. j it's all because of you j

1061. j it's all because of you j

1062. j it's all because of you j

1063. Okay, everyboay!

1064. J / put on some makeup jf

1065. & turn on the 8-track j

1066. j I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf j

1067. j suddenly I'm this punk rock star &

1068. j of stage and screen &

1069. I and I ain't never I

1070. j I'm never turning back j