1. Excuse us.Copy !req
2. Jeez, get a room or something.Copy !req
3. All right!Copy !req
4. They're getting charged
for those.Copy !req
5. Those books aren't cheap,
either.Copy !req
6. What are you looking at?Copy !req
7. Hey, Gerry,
isn't that your bus?Copy !req
8. Great way
to start the summer.Copy !req
9. Wait! Stop the bus! Stop!Copy !req
10. Ha ha ha!
Go, fat boy, go!Copy !req
11. Foul ball! Strike two!Copy !req
12. Little help here, son.Copy !req
13. Come on. Toss it over.Copy !req
14. Unh!Copy !req
15. Give it another try, son.Copy !req
16. Right here!Copy !req
17. Over the fence, son!Copy !req
18. Here!Copy !req
19. Unh!Copy !req
20. Lemonade, lemonade.Copy !req
21. Mom!Copy !req
22. Hello?Copy !req
23. We're in here, honey.Copy !req
24. Come on, son.Copy !req
25. Why is everybody home?Copy !req
26. Did someone die?Copy !req
27. Who's this?Copy !req
28. Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson.Copy !req
29. Islanders fan, huh?Copy !req
30. Team of the future, I say.Copy !req
31. Yeah.
Whatever, I'm out of here.Copy !req
32. Hold those horses, cowboy.Copy !req
33. Mr. Johnson is your guest...Copy !req
34. and he's here to talk to you
about a special summer camp.Copy !req
35. A camp designed
just for you, Gerry.Copy !req
36. Summer camp? No way!Copy !req
37. I have plans for the summer.
I'm gonna hang out!Copy !req
38. Come on, honey.
He's got a videotape.Copy !req
39. Why don't
we take a little peek?Copy !req
40. Why don't we not?Copy !req
41. Greetings, future campers.Copy !req
42. I'm Alice Bushkin,
and this is Harvey...Copy !req
43. and we've been
the owners and operators...Copy !req
44. of Camp Hope
for 32 wonderful summers.Copy !req
45. Won't you join us for number 33?Copy !req
46. Whoa!Copy !req
47. Hmm.Copy !req
48. What's that?Copy !req
49. This is called "the Blob."Copy !req
50. "The Blob," huh?Copy !req
51. You can go
as high as 15 feet.Copy !req
52. Wow.Copy !req
53. Wow, go-karts.Copy !req
54. How many times
can you go on the go-karts?Copy !req
55. As much as you want, Gerry.Copy !req
56. But be careful.
They can be addicting.Copy !req
57. I'm only kidding.Copy !req
58. Hi, I'm Pat Finley!Copy !req
59. I've been coming here
since I was 10 years old.Copy !req
60. Want to know why?Copy !req
61. Because Camp Hope
is the fun way to lose weight.Copy !req
62. It's a fat camp!Copy !req
63. Are you crazy? No way!Copy !req
64. I'm not going to a camp
with a bunch of fat-loads!Copy !req
65. - Gerry!
- That's not kind, Gerry.Copy !req
66. We are doing this
for your own good.Copy !req
67. We gotta nip this thing
in the bud.Copy !req
68. I'm fine.
This is a joke, right?Copy !req
69. You're fatter than I am.
Why don't you go?Copy !req
70. You show your father
some respect.Copy !req
71. I think we should have
a little powwow...Copy !req
72. and we will call you
with our decision later.Copy !req
73. I'll give you my decision
right now.Copy !req
74. I'm not going.Copy !req
75. This is
Captain Harris speaking...Copy !req
76. cruising altitude
of 29,000 feet.Copy !req
77. Those of you on the left side
of the aircraft...Copy !req
78. have a nice view of
the Blue Ridge Mountains.Copy !req
79. Hey, there, Mr. Rainy Day.Copy !req
80. I've got a little surprise
for you.Copy !req
81. Hmm?Copy !req
82. Huh?Copy !req
83. but in your seats...Copy !req
84. we request that you keep
your seat belts fastened.Copy !req
85. Cutie.Copy !req
86. Great.Copy !req
87. Headed to fat camp?Copy !req
88. No. Why do you say that?Copy !req
89. Because you're fat.
Is that your dad?Copy !req
90. No. Why do you say that?Copy !req
91. Because he's fat, too.Copy !req
92. Well, so are you.Copy !req
93. I know. That's why
I'm going to fat camp.Copy !req
94. - I'm Roy.
- I'm Gerry.Copy !req
95. I guess I'm going.Copy !req
96. I knew it!Copy !req
97. And that's your dad, too,
isn't it?Copy !req
98. - Hell no!
- You'll love camp, man.Copy !req
99. Camp is awesome.Copy !req
100. No one picks on you because
you're not the fat kid.Copy !req
101. Everybody's the fat kid.Copy !req
102. Stick with me, Gerry,
because I'm the man.Copy !req
103. Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest
ghost stories you ever heard.Copy !req
104. Yes, have no fear,
I have returned.Copy !req
105. I got a rookie here,
and his name's Gerry...Copy !req
106. so show him
the same amount of respect...Copy !req
107. that you show me—none.Copy !req
108. Excuse me!Copy !req
109. I'm looking for
several portly adolescents.Copy !req
110. That's us.
You're looking good, Pat.Copy !req
111. Tell me something
I don't know.Copy !req
112. Let's load her up!Copy !req
113. Hey, hey!
How you doing, guys?Copy !req
114. - Phillip, how are you?
- This is Gerry.Copy !req
115. Hey, Gerry.
I'm Pat Finley.Copy !req
116. I'm sure you recognize me
from my work...Copy !req
117. in the Camp Hope
promotional video.Copy !req
118. We have
a little tradition, Gerry.Copy !req
119. The new guy drives to camp.
Right, guys?Copy !req
120. Keep it under 70.
We got some weird local cops.Copy !req
121. You drive a stick, right?Copy !req
122. No, but I can try.Copy !req
123. No, no, no.
Sorry, cannot risk it.Copy !req
124. Come here a second.
I gotta ask you something.Copy !req
125. Something very serious.Copy !req
126. Are you ready for the best
damn summer of your life?Copy !req
127. Yeah!Copy !req
128. Is everybody gonna
behave themselves this summer?Copy !req
129. - No!
- Good! That's what I expect!Copy !req
130. Can't do it.
Gotta get back to the camp!Copy !req
131. - Pull over, please!
- Don't bug me!Copy !req
132. - All right!
- Yeah!Copy !req
133. Ha ha!
Psyched you out!Copy !req
134. - You stink, Pat!
- That's not funny!Copy !req
135. I thought that was
pretty amusing, myself.Copy !req
136. Garner, where you from?Copy !req
137. - Long Island.
- Never heard of it.Copy !req
138. Sam, don't lean
your head out the window.Copy !req
139. We lost six kids
like that last summer.Copy !req
140. I'm not going
to pick up your head.Copy !req
141. I don't need it anyway!Copy !req
142. Camp Hope, everybody!
Best place on earth!Copy !req
143. Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!Copy !req
144. Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!Copy !req
145. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
146. All right, now in
a nice, orderly fashion...Copy !req
147. get off my bus!Copy !req
148. It's stuck!Copy !req
149. I don't know what to do!
It's stuck!Copy !req
150. - Heads up!
- Unh!Copy !req
151. Here's another one!Copy !req
152. Hey, bony butt.Copy !req
153. How was your year,
chicken legs?Copy !req
154. It's not funny, guys.Copy !req
155. Why are they teasing him?Copy !req
156. That's a counselor named Tim.Copy !req
157. He used to be one of us,
but then he lost weight...Copy !req
158. so we give him
a hard time about it.Copy !req
159. - He's cool, though.
- Let's hear it.Copy !req
160. Tim, what happened,
did you have a baby?Copy !req
161. That's funny.Copy !req
162. Just because I got these
great, skinny buns of steel.Copy !req
163. Whoo! Look at that—
all tight and toned.Copy !req
164. Bet you wish they were yours.Copy !req
165. Don't you?
Take a look, boys!Copy !req
166. The envy of the entire camp—Copy !req
167. Up there is the bald eagle,
which is a single breed...Copy !req
168. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
169. I'm Julie, the new nurse.Copy !req
170. Pat.Copy !req
171. Pat, I'm a little lost.Copy !req
172. Can you tell me
where the infirmary is?Copy !req
173. Well, let's see...Copy !req
174. Uh... No.Copy !req
175. Oh, well... I'll find it.Copy !req
176. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
177. Pat, you've been coming here
since you were ten...Copy !req
178. and you don't know
where the infirmary is?Copy !req
179. I panicked.Copy !req
180. What are we gonna do
with you, man?Copy !req
181. Help me with these bags,
all right?Copy !req
182. - Garner.
- Yeah?Copy !req
183. Let's get working
on this trunk.Copy !req
184. OK.Copy !req
185. - You got a girlfriend?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
186. So you broke up with her
before the summer...Copy !req
187. so you could be free
to play the field, huh?Copy !req
188. Yeah,
you gotta play the field.Copy !req
189. Yeah, I break up with
my girlfriend every summer.Copy !req
190. You gotta be free, you know?Copy !req
191. All right, put it down.Copy !req
192. This is it, Gerry.Copy !req
193. I've been the counselor
in here for 10 years.Copy !req
194. I hope you're ready.Copy !req
195. You'll be hanging with
some pretty cool cats.Copy !req
196. Josh, how you doing, man?Copy !req
197. Roy.Copy !req
198. I just saw the new nurse,
and she's very attractive.Copy !req
199. This pleases me.Copy !req
200. Here it is!Copy !req
201. Ah, Chez Chipmunk—
my summer home.Copy !req
202. What do we got here?Copy !req
203. Gerry, this is Josh,
camp legend.Copy !req
204. Aye-aye, Captain, sir.Copy !req
205. All present and accounted for,
Captain, sir.Copy !req
206. What's the matter?
You're not a captain?Copy !req
207. No.Copy !req
208. Then maybe you
should lose the wings.Copy !req
209. Welcome to
the Chipmunk bunk, Captain—Copy !req
210. the best bunk
in the entire camp.Copy !req
211. Yep! Sure is.Copy !req
212. You guys aren't gonna call me
Captain all summer, are you?Copy !req
213. Yes, sir, Captain!Copy !req
214. Captain, looks like
you're all set here.Copy !req
215. I gotta take care of
some other stuff.Copy !req
216. You're the best, Pat.Copy !req
217. All right, take it easy.Copy !req
218. All right, Gerry, over here
is your brand-new bunk.Copy !req
219. Don't tell anybody...Copy !req
220. but I snuck in some Oreos
for emergencies.Copy !req
221. That was very sneaky of you.Copy !req
222. Chipmunks!
Download, now!Copy !req
223. New kid! Yo!Copy !req
224. Come on over here!Copy !req
225. Get these salamis off my back.
They really hurt.Copy !req
226. Phillip, look at this.Copy !req
227. That's pretty nice, Nicholas...Copy !req
228. but look at this.Copy !req
229. Yes!Copy !req
230. Crikey!Copy !req
231. I knew it was too hot
in that bus.Copy !req
232. This is definitely not sanitary.Copy !req
233. Everyone!
Grab a taste of England, guys!Copy !req
234. You'll love the Bushkins.Copy !req
235. Every year
they surprise us...Copy !req
236. with something cool
for the camp.Copy !req
237. Last year
they got us the Blob...Copy !req
238. and this year I hear
they're getting us jet skis.Copy !req
239. - Jet skis!
- Here they come.Copy !req
240. - You'll love these people.
- Really?Copy !req
241. Greetings, campers.Copy !req
242. Hi! Hi! Hiya!Copy !req
243. You'll get it.Copy !req
244. That's the greatest sound
I've heard in a long time.Copy !req
245. Harvey and I are saddened
and dismayed to announce...Copy !req
246. that we are no longer
the owners of Camp Hope.Copy !req
247. - What?
- What's going on?Copy !req
248. What are you talking about?Copy !req
249. Sometimes in life...Copy !req
250. things don't work out
the way you planned...Copy !req
251. and in those situations,
sometimes...Copy !req
252. you file Chapter 9
bankruptcy—Jesus!Copy !req
253. We worked our whole life,
and what do we have to show?Copy !req
254. Nothing! Nothing!Copy !req
255. Harvey, please stop.Copy !req
256. What?Copy !req
257. OK, kids, out with the old,
and in with the new.Copy !req
258. It won't be the same
without them.Copy !req
259. Your new owner will introduce
himself in a minute.Copy !req
260. But you know what I would like?Copy !req
261. Please, could you give us
just one more...Copy !req
262. Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?Copy !req
263. Hiya.Copy !req
264. God bless all of you.Copy !req
265. We love you, Harvey!Copy !req
266. He's kidding, guys.
He's gotta be.Copy !req
267. One word of advice.Copy !req
268. Never let anyone
sign your checks!Copy !req
269. Harvey, please.Copy !req
270. You can't leave.
We need you.Copy !req
271. Come back.Copy !req
272. - What are we gonna do?
- I don't know, man.Copy !req
273. Now, it's time to meet
your new owner and operator.Copy !req
274. Tony Perkis is a man
who believes in you.Copy !req
275. His life is dedicated
to saying things like...Copy !req
276. "Yes!" and
"You better believe it!"Copy !req
277. Entrepreneur, a motivator,
and a new friend...Copy !req
278. may I introduce
Tony Perkis!Copy !req
279. Mm. Can you smell it?Copy !req
280. What? No.Copy !req
281. There's a life force
in here tonight.Copy !req
282. Do you feel it? Hmm?Copy !req
283. I look around this room...Copy !req
284. and I see potential.Copy !req
285. I see the future chairman
of a Fortune 500 company.Copy !req
286. I see a famous rap artist.Copy !req
287. I see the president of
the United States of America.Copy !req
288. He's from England.Copy !req
289. Being an only child...Copy !req
290. educated entirely by
private tutors my whole life...Copy !req
291. I'm looking forward
to interacting...Copy !req
292. with children
for the first time.Copy !req
293. I'm going to teach you...Copy !req
294. and I bet you might teach me
a little something, also.Copy !req
295. Now, those of you from
western Pennsylvania...Copy !req
296. probably know my father,
Tony Perkis Senior...Copy !req
297. the Lighting Fixture King.Copy !req
298. All the lights you'll see
around this camp...Copy !req
299. have been donated by him.Copy !req
300. But I'm gonna do
old Dad one better.Copy !req
301. I'm not gonna give you a light.Copy !req
302. I'm gonna show you the light!Copy !req
303. And to help me do it...Copy !req
304. let's meet the new staff
of Camp Hope.Copy !req
305. Team Perkis!Copy !req
306. Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!Copy !req
307. Ha! Ha! Ha!Copy !req
308. All right!
Stand proud, boys!Copy !req
309. Hey, who wants to be
on TV, huh?Copy !req
310. That's Kenny the cameraman.Copy !req
311. Hey, there, Kenny!Copy !req
312. If all goes
according to plan...Copy !req
313. we're gonna turn this summer
into the number-one...Copy !req
314. weight-loss infomercial
in the country!Copy !req
315. You're kidding.Copy !req
316. Kids, at age 12...Copy !req
317. I weighed 319 pounds.Copy !req
318. I had bad skin,
low self-esteem...Copy !req
319. and no self-respect.Copy !req
320. Now... I eat success
for breakfast!Copy !req
321. - With skim milk.
- Ugh.Copy !req
322. Pounds are gonna fly...Copy !req
323. and fat is
outta here, mister!Copy !req
324. And we are gonna do it together!Copy !req
325. Oh, my God.Copy !req
326. Ha! Haaa...Copy !req
327. Aah!Copy !req
328. I want to go home!Copy !req
329. The Bushkins always put me
in the Chipmunk bunk.Copy !req
330. I've been here for 10 years.Copy !req
331. According
to my information...Copy !req
332. you have been reassigned
to the big house.Copy !req
333. I don't think Tony would mind
if we switched back.Copy !req
334. That would make me
feel very uncomfortable.Copy !req
335. I'm gonna talk to Tony.Copy !req
336. Please do.
Let me get your bag.Copy !req
337. Unh!Copy !req
338. Good-bye now.Copy !req
339. Enjoy your summer.Copy !req
340. Hello!Copy !req
341. I am your new friend
and counselor!Copy !req
342. Please enjoy your new
Perkis system uniforms.Copy !req
343. Your families will be
billed automatically.Copy !req
344. Now, let's play the fun game...Copy !req
345. that helps us learn
each other's names.Copy !req
346. We already know
each other's names.Copy !req
347. Silence!Copy !req
348. You—please announce
everyone's name.Copy !req
349. OK. That's Roy.
That's Josh.Copy !req
350. Sam. That's Cody.
That's Nicholas.Copy !req
351. That's Michael. That's Phil.Copy !req
352. And I am Lars.Copy !req
353. "Lars"?
What kind of name is that?Copy !req
354. Where are you from?Copy !req
355. Far away.Copy !req
356. I must inform you I have
a severely deviated septum.Copy !req
357. When I sleep at night...Copy !req
358. I make
a very disturbing sound.Copy !req
359. Don't be alarmed.
I am fine.Copy !req
360. Now, go to sleep.Copy !req
361. Oh, no. I'm dead.Copy !req
362. I'm in Heaven.Copy !req
363. Roy? Roy.Copy !req
364. What's going on?Copy !req
365. Wake up, campers.Copy !req
366. It's a glorious morning.Copy !req
367. Today is Evaluation Day.Copy !req
368. The key word here
is "value."Copy !req
369. Do you have any? Not yet.Copy !req
370. But by the end of the summer...Copy !req
371. this camp will be
filled with skinny winners!Copy !req
372. "Skinny weiners"?
You hear that, guys?Copy !req
373. Do you think I'm crazy?Copy !req
374. I'm not crazy.
I just believe in you.Copy !req
375. And I believe in you.
Call and order now.Copy !req
376. All right,
let's go get our hands dirty.Copy !req
377. Glide! Stride!Copy !req
378. Get your butt off the ground!Copy !req
379. Concentrate!
Find your center.Copy !req
380. Stride! Glide!Copy !req
381. Stride!Copy !req
382. I'm feeling skinny, Tony.Copy !req
383. So am I!Copy !req
384. Aah!Copy !req
385. We keep this up,
I see no reason...Copy !req
386. why we can't beat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.Copy !req
387. What's an Apache Relay?Copy !req
388. It's a dumb inter-camp event
where those jocks at MVP...Copy !req
389. come over here and kick
our butts every year.Copy !req
390. Only film the ones
that are standing, Kenneth.Copy !req
391. Glide!Copy !req
392. 141 pounds, Gerry Garner.Copy !req
393. Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds.Copy !req
394. Please step down. Next!Copy !req
395. Very fat, I see. 160 pounds.Copy !req
396. Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds.Copy !req
397. Ooh. Oh, my!Copy !req
398. Congratulations, Mr. Simms.Copy !req
399. You are the fattest boy in camp.Copy !req
400. All right,
let's hear it for Simms.Copy !req
401. Get down!Copy !req
402. Five and a quarter.Copy !req
403. Big smile.Copy !req
404. Turn around to your side.Copy !req
405. Please put your fat finger down!Copy !req
406. You've broken my camera!Copy !req
407. No, no, no,
you listen to me.Copy !req
408. If I don't get a 50,000 unit
pre-sale on this video...Copy !req
409. my ass is wheat grass!Copy !req
410. Just hang on a second.Copy !req
411. Attention campers,
tonight's lecture is...Copy !req
412. Option or Obsession."Copy !req
413. Watch out for Salami Sam!Copy !req
414. Whoa!Copy !req
415. Hey, don't pee in the water!Copy !req
416. Don't drink the water.
He peed in it!Copy !req
417. - Nurse Julie!
- Whoa!Copy !req
418. Excuse me, Nurse Julie.Copy !req
419. I'm having a problem
with my sciatic nerve.Copy !req
420. Perhaps later you could give me
a deep-tissue massage.Copy !req
421. I'll pencil you in.Copy !req
422. Lars, shouldn't you be
watching the kids?Copy !req
423. Don't worry, I have them
on the body system.Copy !req
424. "Body system"?Copy !req
425. Yeah, have a look.Copy !req
426. Body!Copy !req
427. - Body!
- Body!Copy !req
428. "Buddy." Heh heh.Copy !req
429. You're obviously
a very powerful man, Lars.Copy !req
430. Would you excuse me?Copy !req
431. Yes, but with much difficulty!Copy !req
432. Buddy!Copy !req
433. All right, Gerry, it's your bat.Copy !req
434. Nicholas, you know what to do.Copy !req
435. Is this kind of like cricket?Copy !req
436. It's not kind of like cricket.Copy !req
437. It is cricket.
Just with a different name.Copy !req
438. MVPers are almost here.
Are the boys ready?Copy !req
439. Yeah. Tony, I really need
to talk to you about this.Copy !req
440. Our kids will get
their butts handed to them.Copy !req
441. Why don't we hold off on this?Copy !req
442. Thank you for telling me
how to run my camp.Copy !req
443. That I bought.Copy !req
444. This won't help those kids
get any better at sports!Copy !req
445. We're not teaching them
about sports!Copy !req
446. We're teaching them about life!Copy !req
447. Life.Copy !req
448. Look!Copy !req
449. Come on, let's go!
Let's do it!Copy !req
450. Go, go, go!Copy !req
451. I'm not so good at sports.Copy !req
452. Oh, yeah,
and I'm Deion Sanders.Copy !req
453. We're dead, guys.Copy !req
454. All right, I want to see
some hustle out there!Copy !req
455. - Hey, Chris.
- Pat, how you doing?Copy !req
456. See you got a promotion.Copy !req
457. Yeah. Listen, Chris,
over the years...Copy !req
458. you guys have whooped us
pretty good.Copy !req
459. How about taking it easy
on my guys this year?Copy !req
460. - You know what I mean.
- No, I don't.Copy !req
461. MVP campers
are trained to compete...Copy !req
462. at the highest level
at all times.Copy !req
463. We wouldn't
want to confuse them.Copy !req
464. Looking good, Pat.Copy !req
465. All right,
let's work it around!Copy !req
466. Come on, men!Copy !req
467. Let's hit the field
and let the fates decide.Copy !req
468. There we go—
good plan, all right!Copy !req
469. There you go!
Eye of the tiger!Copy !req
470. Did you eat your
Wheaties today, Phillip?Copy !req
471. I hope to God
you ate your Wheaties.Copy !req
472. Simms, way to hustle.Copy !req
473. Like a rocket—
there you go.Copy !req
474. Pat Finley, please report...Copy !req
475. to the men's toilet
immediately.Copy !req
476. Bring a mop
and a plunger... now!Copy !req
477. All right,
who's up first? Let's go!Copy !req
478. Ohh, my arm!Copy !req
479. Oh, my knee!Copy !req
480. Ohh, my—Copy !req
481. Come on, lardo!Copy !req
482. Tim, take me out, please!Copy !req
483. - Ohh!
- Out!Copy !req
484. Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
485. Beautiful!Copy !req
486. Can I go to the nurse?Copy !req
487. Yeah, OK, Phillip.Copy !req
488. Just wait till
someone comes back, OK?Copy !req
489. Ow, my arm.Copy !req
490. Cody, what on earth
is going on out there?Copy !req
491. We're Perkisizing.Copy !req
492. Strike!Copy !req
493. Hey, batter, batter, batter.Copy !req
494. Strike!Copy !req
495. Strike three!Copy !req
496. Strike!Copy !req
497. Nice swing,
you fat towboat. Ha!Copy !req
498. Is that all you've got?Copy !req
499. Uhh!Copy !req
500. That's foul!Copy !req
501. Doh!Copy !req
502. All right, next batter.
Let's go, son.Copy !req
503. - Uhh!
- Look out!Copy !req
504. - Ow!
- Sorry!Copy !req
505. You can do it.Copy !req
506. Keep your eyes on the bat...Copy !req
507. put it in the pocket...Copy !req
508. swing harder...Copy !req
509. I have no idea
what I'm saying.Copy !req
510. Ohh!Copy !req
511. You OK?Copy !req
512. There goes your perfect game.
Come on!Copy !req
513. Calm down.Copy !req
514. Let's go!
Take your base, you big baby!Copy !req
515. You're holding up the game!Copy !req
516. He ain't hurt.
Suck it up, Gerry!Copy !req
517. Aww, look,
the poor baby's gonna cry.Copy !req
518. Don't blubber, chubber!
Ha ha.Copy !req
519. Uhh!Copy !req
520. Don't mess with us.Copy !req
521. No, man, that's my bed!Copy !req
522. I don't enjoy
this part of the job.Copy !req
523. But it's vital to the success
of the Perkis system...Copy !req
524. that we remove all temptation...Copy !req
525. Ohh!Copy !req
526. from your lives. Here.Copy !req
527. Dispose of that, Lars.Copy !req
528. What?Copy !req
529. I'm still your friend.Copy !req
530. Come on, give me a hug.Copy !req
531. Hmm?Copy !req
532. Hmm.Copy !req
533. Come on.Copy !req
534. Tony believes in you.Copy !req
535. Looks like my man's packing.Copy !req
536. Drop back, son.Copy !req
537. Oh, Tony.Copy !req
538. Sir!
I was a Chipmunk last year.Copy !req
539. Look.Copy !req
540. Dawson,
what are you doing, man?Copy !req
541. Well, well, well,
what have we here?Copy !req
542. Who would like to own up
to this treasure trove?Copy !req
543. Whose wonderful candies
are these?Copy !req
544. Oh, look. A deli meat.Copy !req
545. You... come here.Copy !req
546. Yes, you. Come here.Copy !req
547. Don't be frightened.
Just come here.Copy !req
548. - I.D. cards.
- Yes, Tony.Copy !req
549. Let's see.Copy !req
550. "Garner, Gerald.
141 pounds. Age 11."Copy !req
551. You didn't have anything
to do with this, did you?Copy !req
552. Well...Copy !req
553. But I bet you might be able
to tell me who did?Copy !req
554. Anyone who brings candy
into this camp...Copy !req
555. is not your friend.Copy !req
556. He is a destroyer.Copy !req
557. Do you understand that,
Gerald Garner?Copy !req
558. Do you?Copy !req
559. I'm sure your father...Copy !req
560. Maury Garner,
wouldn't want to hear...Copy !req
561. that his son is a destroyer,
would he?Copy !req
562. I don't think so.Copy !req
563. Enough. All right.Copy !req
564. I'll tell you
whose candy it is.Copy !req
565. - Don't do it, Josh!
- Shh! Let the man speak.Copy !req
566. The candy belongs
to Seymour Butts.Copy !req
567. Seymour Butts?
Who's Seymour Butts?Copy !req
568. Who's Seymour Butts?Copy !req
569. Nobody's seen more butts
than you, Uncle Tony!Copy !req
570. You picked the wrong man
to mess with.Copy !req
571. Ooh.Copy !req
572. I didn't know
I was messing with a man!Copy !req
573. Ha ha ha ha ha!
We have a comedian!Copy !req
574. Hey, I like comedians.Copy !req
575. Perhaps I can book you
on a tour.Copy !req
576. You the man, Josh!Copy !req
577. Good morning, campers.Copy !req
578. Joshua Birnbaum
is no longer with us.Copy !req
579. His bed is now available.Copy !req
580. Josh is all right,
isn't he?Copy !req
581. Man, I hope so...
wherever he is.Copy !req
582. Sam, did you hear about Josh?Copy !req
583. Sorry to hear about
your little friend Josh.Copy !req
584. Hey, Gerry. I found out
the truth about Josh.Copy !req
585. I heard that
they kicked him out...Copy !req
586. and his parents were so mad,
they wouldn't let him come home.Copy !req
587. They left him at a bus stop
all alone at midnight.Copy !req
588. Well, he's dead.Copy !req
589. He pulled a knife on Tony...Copy !req
590. and he's locked up in
a juvenile delinquent center.Copy !req
591. Now he's living
in the park in New York...Copy !req
592. with a guy who has no legs.Copy !req
593. No way.Copy !req
594. I'm just telling you
what I heard.Copy !req
595. Dear Grandma...Copy !req
596. someone once said
"War is hell."Copy !req
597. They've never been
to fat camp.Copy !req
598. I knew
the food would be bad...Copy !req
599. but even worse...Copy !req
600. today he killed the Blob.Copy !req
601. As for the go-karts...Copy !req
602. may they rest in pieces.Copy !req
603. I'm writing you...Copy !req
604. because nobody else
seemed to care.Copy !req
605. I did not send you
to go-kart camp.Copy !req
606. Attention, campers...Copy !req
607. lunch has been canceled today
due to lack of hustle.Copy !req
608. Deal with it.Copy !req
609. Tony Perkis
tries to lead by example.Copy !req
610. This is the eighteenth level
of the Perkis system.Copy !req
611. You'll all be doing this
by Labor Day!Copy !req
612. All right, do it to it, Lars!Copy !req
613. It's my honor, Tony!Copy !req
614. - Ohh!
- Crazy!Copy !req
615. But we're afraid to follow.Copy !req
616. I know each and every one of you
because I was you.Copy !req
617. Once a day, the kids
from Camp MVP drive by...Copy !req
618. and make fun of us.Copy !req
619. You stink! You stink!
You stink!Copy !req
620. Good one!Copy !req
621. At night,
they vandalize our camp.Copy !req
622. At least Josh got out...Copy !req
623. where there's food.Copy !req
624. We have to resort
to more desperate measures.Copy !req
625. Let's get 'em!Copy !req
626. I want meat!Copy !req
627. I'll save something for you!Copy !req
628. Tony's arranged a dance
with the girls' camp...Copy !req
629. so he can humiliate us
into losing weight.Copy !req
630. Pray for me, Grandma.Copy !req
631. Love, Gerry.Copy !req
632. Let's just get out of here.Copy !req
633. We can't, man.
They're guarding the door.Copy !req
634. Rock 'n' roll.Copy !req
635. Sugar-free punch.
This bites.Copy !req
636. How much more
are they gonna subject us to?Copy !req
637. Why don't those guys
just lose weight?Copy !req
638. Why don't you show them
how to throw up after meals?Copy !req
639. - Shut up.
- You shut up.Copy !req
640. You guys, stop it.Copy !req
641. Team Jerkis strikes again, huh?Copy !req
642. Do you think he could've
possibly planned...Copy !req
643. for it to be this bad?Copy !req
644. Yes.Copy !req
645. I have some friends
in Child Welfare.Copy !req
646. Tony must be doing something
illegal around here.Copy !req
647. Maybe I should give them a call.Copy !req
648. - Great.
- This really bites!Copy !req
649. Would you like to have
some of this... punch?Copy !req
650. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
651. Did you catch Lars's outfit?Copy !req
652. Yo, check this out.Copy !req
653. Jeez, she's coming over!Copy !req
654. I think she's looking at me.Copy !req
655. Do you know
where the bathroom is?Copy !req
656. Ouch.Copy !req
657. That was brutal.Copy !req
658. They're young, you know?Copy !req
659. Still afraid of girls.Copy !req
660. Poor guys.Copy !req
661. So, do you want to dance?Copy !req
662. Um, uh...Copy !req
663. No, I have
a bad... sprained...Copy !req
664. Excuse me. Tim?Copy !req
665. OK.Copy !req
666. This is really boring.Copy !req
667. This has got to end.Copy !req
668. Excuse me, guys.Copy !req
669. Tim's blown a microchip!Copy !req
670. Tim! Tim!
What are you doing?Copy !req
671. Saving the dance. Come on.Copy !req
672. The girls will see
how much fun we're having...Copy !req
673. and then everyone will join in!Copy !req
674. That's weird, Tim.Copy !req
675. Maybe it is,
Reverend No-Fun...Copy !req
676. but I am saving the dance.Copy !req
677. Stand back and watch the magic!
Whoo!Copy !req
678. Yeah!Copy !req
679. Oh, yeah!
Get down to the funk!Copy !req
680. Don't you see how much fun
we're having?Copy !req
681. Join in!
It'll be contagious!Copy !req
682. It's called boogie fever!Copy !req
683. - Whoo!
- That's it!Copy !req
684. Nicholas, dance with me.Copy !req
685. Oh, yes!Copy !req
686. Shake a leg!
Let's go!Copy !req
687. Maybe we should go out there.
It's just dancing.Copy !req
688. OK. I guess
I can stand this song.Copy !req
689. Yes.Copy !req
690. Yes!Copy !req
691. Excuse me.Copy !req
692. May I have the pleasure
of this dance?Copy !req
693. Yes, you may.Copy !req
694. All right, dance is over!Copy !req
695. Everybody go home!Copy !req
696. Thank you for coming,
ladies.Copy !req
697. You ruin everything!Copy !req
698. Buses are waiting
over there.Copy !req
699. Thank you.
I appreciate your efforts.Copy !req
700. I know this hasn't been easy.Copy !req
701. He was nice, too.Copy !req
702. Put the fruit trays away.Copy !req
703. The insects will be out soon.Copy !req
704. Hey.Copy !req
705. How about a ride out of here?Copy !req
706. Did this place
always stink this much?Copy !req
707. No, Gerry.Copy !req
708. This place used to stink
very little.Copy !req
709. In fact...Copy !req
710. it didn't stink at all.Copy !req
711. Well, it does now.Copy !req
712. I thought at least I'd be able
to ride the go-karts.Copy !req
713. I've never ridden one.Copy !req
714. You really like them?Copy !req
715. I'm so slow.Copy !req
716. It would've been cool
to go fast.Copy !req
717. Really fly, you know?Copy !req
718. I thought I'd be good at it.Copy !req
719. Really?Copy !req
720. That's interesting.Copy !req
721. Think you'd be able to handle
those hairpin turns?Copy !req
722. - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
723. Think you'd be able to handle
That powerful engine?Copy !req
724. Let's see what you got, Garner.
Come on!Copy !req
725. Whoo!Copy !req
726. Lean into it!
That's right!Copy !req
727. So, how did you learn
how to drive go-karts?Copy !req
728. Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry!Copy !req
729. Avoid the obstacles!
Excellent! Sharp turn!Copy !req
730. - Whoo!
- Yeah!Copy !req
731. Come on, faster!Copy !req
732. Faster, faster, yeah.Copy !req
733. No problem.Copy !req
734. How are you
on your jumps, huh?Copy !req
735. - These things jump?
- They fly, buddy!Copy !req
736. Watch out for that oil slick!Copy !req
737. Aaah!Copy !req
738. Aah! Aaaah!Copy !req
739. That was fun.
Let's do it again.Copy !req
740. - OK.
- Yes!Copy !req
741. As soon as I catch my breath.Copy !req
742. Maybe next summer.Copy !req
743. Come on, Pat.Copy !req
744. Josh?Copy !req
745. Josh? It's Josh.Copy !req
746. - Josh is back!
- Josh!Copy !req
747. Josh!Copy !req
748. - Man, good to see you!
- I knew you were OK!Copy !req
749. Josh, what's wrong?
What'd they do to you?Copy !req
750. Josh... speak to me.Copy !req
751. Were you in jail?
The nut house?Copy !req
752. Josh, it's me—Gerry.Copy !req
753. Gerry. Pbbbbt.Copy !req
754. Heh heh. Funny, Josh.Copy !req
755. What happened, man?
Talk to us.Copy !req
756. Josh was bad.Copy !req
757. What's he mean?Copy !req
758. Oh, man. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
759. Josh now good.Copy !req
760. Good? What do you mean?Copy !req
761. Must be...
good to see my big ass again!Copy !req
762. I liked you better
with the lobotomy.Copy !req
763. What really happened, man?Copy !req
764. Perkis sent me home
without a refund.Copy !req
765. However, my dad's a lawyer.Copy !req
766. He threatened to sue
and Perkis caved...Copy !req
767. like the Buffalo Bills
in the Super Bowl.Copy !req
768. Hey, Josh, how long
have you been shaving?Copy !req
769. A couple of years.Copy !req
770. What was it like on the outside?Copy !req
771. It was incredible.
First, I went to the Sizzler!Copy !req
772. Got that all-you-can-eat meal.
I closed the place.Copy !req
773. How are we fixed
for supplies on this end?Copy !req
774. Perkis wiped us out.Copy !req
775. There isn't a Gummi Bear
left in this entire camp.Copy !req
776. Whew. I am doggin' it
this morning.Copy !req
777. Ahh. Come on, T.Copy !req
778. Now let's do it up.Copy !req
779. Whew!Copy !req
780. Start me up.Copy !req
781. Come on.Copy !req
782. Hurry up, guys.
We don't have all day.Copy !req
783. Lift those legs.Copy !req
784. Looks pretty sturdy, guys.Copy !req
785. - Hurry up, man.
- I'm trying.Copy !req
786. Roy, you're up first.
Give it a shot.Copy !req
787. Simms,
you're my lookout man.Copy !req
788. Give me a boost. Up, up.Copy !req
789. Uhh!Copy !req
790. Aah!Copy !req
791. All right.
Gerry, check this room out.Copy !req
792. Roy, Nicholas,
you guys come with me...Copy !req
793. and be quiet about it.Copy !req
794. That candy's gotta be
in here somewhere.Copy !req
795. I'll find the candy.Copy !req
796. Where's the sweets?Copy !req
797. - Over here.
- What do you got?Copy !req
798. Come on, you devil log!Copy !req
799. Uhh!Copy !req
800. Oh!Copy !req
801. - Hurry up.
- All right, all right.Copy !req
802. "Perkisize with Tony"?Copy !req
803. That's me!Copy !req
804. I'm skinny.Copy !req
805. - Come on, Josh!
- I'm trying!Copy !req
806. If you can't get it,
we need to leave.Copy !req
807. Yeah!Copy !req
808. Uhh!Copy !req
809. Thanks, Captain.Copy !req
810. I'm doggin' it, Pat!Copy !req
811. Letters?Copy !req
812. You guys,
these are our letters home.Copy !req
813. No way. This guy is sick!Copy !req
814. This is the letter
I wrote my grandma!Copy !req
815. Oh!Copy !req
816. Pack it up, guys.
Let's move!Copy !req
817. Oh, no. We're dead!Copy !req
818. He's coming! He's coming!Copy !req
819. He's coming!Copy !req
820. Roy, the picture!Copy !req
821. Josh, the drawers!Copy !req
822. Put the whites away, Gerry.
Help me!Copy !req
823. - Whites right here.
- Just throw it in!Copy !req
824. Oooooo-ahhhh!Copy !req
825. Wait a sec!
Where's Nicholas?Copy !req
826. You guys go. I'll get him.Copy !req
827. Let's move it, Roy.Copy !req
828. Nickie! Nicholas!Copy !req
829. Mmm!Copy !req
830. What are you doing?
He's coming!Copy !req
831. Get down.Copy !req
832. Gerry, come on!Copy !req
833. - Oh, my. I didn't mean to.
- Just go!Copy !req
834. Uhh!Copy !req
835. Oh!Copy !req
836. Uhh!Copy !req
837. Scatter!Copy !req
838. Coast clear?Copy !req
839. - That was close.
- Clear!Copy !req
840. - Whoo!
- We did it.Copy !req
841. You really showed
some guts out there, Cappy.Copy !req
842. One of those fish and chips
farts there, Nickie?Copy !req
843. I extend my deepest apologies—Copy !req
844. Wait! Wrapper.Copy !req
845. - What?
- Food wrapper.Copy !req
846. Come on!Copy !req
847. Who's in there?
What have you got?Copy !req
848. Nothing! No one!
Just go away!Copy !req
849. Where'd you get that?Copy !req
850. I found it?Copy !req
851. You found it.
Come here, you little punk!Copy !req
852. - Tell us!
- Yeah, tell us!Copy !req
853. All right!
OK! I'll tell you!Copy !req
854. You gotta keep it a secret.Copy !req
855. OK, everyone.
Here we go.Copy !req
856. Hey, I'm not rolling yet.Copy !req
857. Are you rolling now, Kenneth?Copy !req
858. - Speed.
- Does that mean rolling?Copy !req
859. Yes, it does.Copy !req
860. OK, everyone.
Clap your hands!Copy !req
861. We've reached the midpoint
of our great experiment.Copy !req
862. Parents' Day
is just around the corner...Copy !req
863. and I think they're gonna be
very, very pleased.Copy !req
864. Remember to wear
your name tags.Copy !req
865. I don't think
they'll recognize you.Copy !req
866. Now it's time to see...Copy !req
867. what the Perkis system means
in pure loss of poundage.Copy !req
868. This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.Copy !req
869. Phillip Rubinoff,
step up, son.Copy !req
870. All right,
let's see how you're doing...Copy !req
871. you little whippersnapper.Copy !req
872. You're two pounds heavier
than when you came to camp...Copy !req
873. but we can fix that.
All we have to do...Copy !req
874. is decrease his food intake...Copy !req
875. and increase
his metabolic output.Copy !req
876. All right!
Step off the scale, son.Copy !req
877. Muscle weighs more than fat!Copy !req
878. All right! OK!Copy !req
879. Gerald Garner.
Step on up, Gerald.Copy !req
880. - Good luck.
- Go get 'em, Captain.Copy !req
881. Hello, Gerald.
Moment of truth.Copy !req
882. Hmm?Copy !req
883. You've gained nine pounds.Copy !req
884. Have you been cheating?Copy !req
885. Turn off the camera.Copy !req
886. Let me make something
very clear.Copy !req
887. The Perkis system
does not work...Copy !req
888. with cheaters
like Gerald Garner, OK?Copy !req
889. How can I sell an infomercial
about fat kids...Copy !req
890. who can't keep their
piggy little snouts shut?Copy !req
891. Who's gonna buy that?
Step off the scale.Copy !req
892. OK. Turn on the camera.Copy !req
893. Josh Birnbaum, step on up!Copy !req
894. Get on the scale, son!
All right!Copy !req
895. - Get off the scale.
- OK, then.Copy !req
896. Turn off the camera.
All right.Copy !req
897. All right, fine.
I blame myself.Copy !req
898. You know what?Copy !req
899. I don't blame myself.
No, not this time, Tony.Copy !req
900. Excuse me one second.Copy !req
901. How you doin', little Tony?Copy !req
902. Bad.Copy !req
903. Why do you feel bad?Copy !req
904. Because everything's
falling apart...Copy !req
905. and I can't do anything
about it.Copy !req
906. It's not your fault.Copy !req
907. I know it's not my fault,
but whose fault is it...Copy !req
908. if it's not my fault?Copy !req
909. It's their fault.
That's right.Copy !req
910. It's their fault!Copy !req
911. You have failed,
and you will pay!Copy !req
912. Tomorrow morning at 0600...Copy !req
913. everyone who has not met
their weight loss goal...Copy !req
914. will join me
on a 20-mile hike.Copy !req
915. Pack light, boys.
The party's over.Copy !req
916. Twenty miles? Tony!Copy !req
917. Tony, sir,
with all due respect...Copy !req
918. I don't think it's healthy
to subject the—Copy !req
919. Healthy? Oh, healthy!Copy !req
920. The fat man is gonna tell me
what's healthy!Copy !req
921. I'm just saying that—Copy !req
922. You just—You—I—Copy !req
923. I think if—
To subject the kids—Copy !req
924. Know what? It's funny.Copy !req
925. Nobody really cares
what you have to say.Copy !req
926. You're a negativity-spreader.Copy !req
927. You're contaminating my well,
Finley...Copy !req
928. and I won't have it.Copy !req
929. Let's make the best
of this afternoon.Copy !req
930. It's OK, man.Copy !req
931. Forget it, Pat.Copy !req
932. Hey.Copy !req
933. They're having a barbecue
over at Camp MVP tonight.Copy !req
934. Carolina ribs.Copy !req
935. The pork, not the beef.Copy !req
936. I wonder what it would feel like
to be one of those guys.Copy !req
937. Just once I want to score
a winning touchdown.Copy !req
938. In my entire life...Copy !req
939. I've never scored a point
in anything.Copy !req
940. Gerry.Copy !req
941. I'm just so tired
of being the fat guy.Copy !req
942. I know, Pat...Copy !req
943. but you don't want to be
one of those guys.Copy !req
944. They're jerks.Copy !req
945. Forget them.Copy !req
946. Yeah, forget them.Copy !req
947. Yeah.Copy !req
948. Forget you!Copy !req
949. Keep your washboard stomachs
and your oily muscles!Copy !req
950. I don't want them!Copy !req
951. I'm still tired
of being the fat guy.Copy !req
952. Come on, Pat.
You're cool.Copy !req
953. Everybody knows that.Copy !req
954. I feel cool.Copy !req
955. Being humiliated by that psycho
today was pretty cool.Copy !req
956. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
957. I've been
a lot of help to you guys.Copy !req
958. At least you stood up to him.Copy !req
959. Nobody else had the guts to.Copy !req
960. We should've backed you up.Copy !req
961. When are we going to start
sticking up for ourselves?Copy !req
962. Now, Gerry.
How about right now?Copy !req
963. Yeah. Let's go get everybody
and kick his ass!Copy !req
964. Yeah! Hold it. Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
965. We got to be smart here.Copy !req
966. There's some proper channels
to go through...Copy !req
967. but you get those guys
through the hike tomorrow.Copy !req
968. I'll do everything
I can back here.Copy !req
969. You be the leader now, Captain.Copy !req
970. He is one, we are many.Copy !req
971. His days are numbered.Copy !req
972. - He's not so tough.
- Yeah!Copy !req
973. This is the day we separate
the men from the boys.Copy !req
974. Hightail it back to camp, Lars.
It'll be a rough one.Copy !req
975. I don't want to see any slackers
or hear any whiners.Copy !req
976. There'll be no food.
This is a cleansing hike.Copy !req
977. Just Father Sky, Mother Earth...Copy !req
978. and your dear old Uncle Tony.Copy !req
979. Use the swatting motion
as an isometric exercise.Copy !req
980. My dogs are killing me.Copy !req
981. Gosh, somebody
going to die today.Copy !req
982. Call 911.Copy !req
983. Did you ever hear
the story of Icarus...Copy !req
984. who continually rolled
the ball up the hill?Copy !req
985. But when he got too close...Copy !req
986. the ball melted
in the heat of the sun.Copy !req
987. You're all like Icarus.Copy !req
988. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
989. - Whoa!
- Aah!Copy !req
990. Thank you, Gerry.Copy !req
991. Uhh!Copy !req
992. Get up, Cody.Copy !req
993. Leave him.
He's a straggler.Copy !req
994. Stragglers must be left
to fend for themselves.Copy !req
995. I was.Copy !req
996. Get up, Cody.
We need to go.Copy !req
997. Did you talk to Child Welfare?Copy !req
998. They'd be glad to
come out and investigate...Copy !req
999. but they can't come
for two weeks.Copy !req
1000. That's too long.
What did your lawyer buddy say?Copy !req
1001. It's dicey. We don't
have any hard evidence.Copy !req
1002. Tony's the hard evidence.
Just look at him.Copy !req
1003. That's what the lawyer said.Copy !req
1004. - So we have nothing.
- Basically.Copy !req
1005. You guys seen Tony?Copy !req
1006. That moron owes me 600 bucks.
I'll kill that guy.Copy !req
1007. Busting my ass
around here for nothing.Copy !req
1008. Feel the chi.Copy !req
1009. Repulse the monkey.Copy !req
1010. Part the wild horse's mane.Copy !req
1011. I say we push him.Copy !req
1012. No jury in the world
could convict us.Copy !req
1013. Strike the chi.Copy !req
1014. No. Too messy.
We can do better.Copy !req
1015. Great.Copy !req
1016. You've all done
much better than expected...Copy !req
1017. so I've got
a little surprise for you.Copy !req
1018. I've decided to extend
the hike indefinitely.Copy !req
1019. - What?
- That's right.Copy !req
1020. You won't return to camp...Copy !req
1021. Until you're
in the leanest, meanest...Copy !req
1022. bestest shape
of your short lives...Copy !req
1023. with one goal in mind—Copy !req
1024. to defeat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.Copy !req
1025. Quite the ending to
a late-night infomercial, hmm?Copy !req
1026. We don't want to play MVP.
We want to have fun.Copy !req
1027. Yeah!Copy !req
1028. Cody wants to have fun.Copy !req
1029. All right, Cody,
let's have some fun.Copy !req
1030. Whee-ha!Copy !req
1031. - Oh, my—
- Whoa!Copy !req
1032. I'm on the top of the world!Copy !req
1033. Yeah!
How's this for fun, Cody?Copy !req
1034. Sam? Why don't you
come out and join me?Copy !req
1035. I'm on my way.Copy !req
1036. He's going to get us killed.Copy !req
1037. - We got to do something.
- Yeah, but what?Copy !req
1038. What's that? I missed it.Copy !req
1039. I was just saying
we need a little rest.Copy !req
1040. Good idea.Copy !req
1041. Let's take an hour
meditation break.Copy !req
1042. Then we're going to climb
that 1,000-foot rock face...Copy !req
1043. over there with
our bare hands and feet.Copy !req
1044. I know you can do it.Copy !req
1045. Until then, observe
the silence of the chi.Copy !req
1046. - Shoot.
- Let's do something.Copy !req
1047. I don't know.Copy !req
1048. Ohmmmm...Copy !req
1049. - You're lying.
- I don't believe in you.Copy !req
1050. You can't do it!Copy !req
1051. Hahh! Cripes.Copy !req
1052. What is all the commotion?Copy !req
1053. We realize we've been lazy,
and we want to change.Copy !req
1054. It's time we all got
our acts together, buddy.Copy !req
1055. Good! Good!Copy !req
1056. It's amazing what
a little food deprivation...Copy !req
1057. can do to adjust
your attitude, huh?Copy !req
1058. Can I ask you a question?Copy !req
1059. Go ahead, Roy. Ask away.Copy !req
1060. Is it possible to do a sit-up
if you can't see or hear?Copy !req
1061. Yes, Roy, it is possible.Copy !req
1062. Gerry says it's impossible.Copy !req
1063. Why don't we rock Gerry's world?Copy !req
1064. Come on.Copy !req
1065. Uncle Tony's going
to do a little demo.Copy !req
1066. There are so many myths
about the abdominal muscles.Copy !req
1067. I am happy to put
this one to rest.Copy !req
1068. See, Gerry? I told you.Copy !req
1069. Now, remember, Uncle Tony...Copy !req
1070. don't get up till
the count of three.Copy !req
1071. - I know the rules.
- OK, good.Copy !req
1072. All right, everyone.
Ready?Copy !req
1073. One, two, three!Copy !req
1074. Kiss my butt!Copy !req
1075. Oh, my! Oh, my! Haah!Copy !req
1076. Uhh! Uhh!Copy !req
1077. Pretty impressive stuff,
huh, Tony?Copy !req
1078. You disgust me.Copy !req
1079. Come here!Copy !req
1080. Come here!
Get out of my way!Copy !req
1081. What are we waiting for?Copy !req
1082. Come on!Copy !req
1083. Run, Josh!Copy !req
1084. Halt!Copy !req
1085. Run! Run! Go!Copy !req
1086. Ow! Ooh! Hamstring!Copy !req
1087. Well, congratulations.Copy !req
1088. You've just joined
the 76% of Americans...Copy !req
1089. who forget to stretch
before physical activity.Copy !req
1090. Aah!Copy !req
1091. Let me see.Copy !req
1092. Ohh...Copy !req
1093. Uhh. Uhh.Copy !req
1094. Gentlemen...Copy !req
1095. we've reached
the point of no return.Copy !req
1096. Yeah!Copy !req
1097. The only problem is,
Kenny wants a lot of money.Copy !req
1098. How much?Copy !req
1099. Much more than
they pay camp counselors.Copy !req
1100. Great. Why don't
we have a bake sale?Copy !req
1101. What are you doing back
already?Copy !req
1102. Where's the other guys?
You OK?Copy !req
1103. I'm fine, I'm fine.Copy !req
1104. Good. We're still working on
a plan to get rid of Tony.Copy !req
1105. Wait till
you hear what we got.Copy !req
1106. That's great, guys...Copy !req
1107. but we came up
with a plan of our own.Copy !req
1108. That is so cute.Copy !req
1109. Whatever. Come with me.Copy !req
1110. I have got a bad feeling.Copy !req
1111. Just try to stay open-minded.Copy !req
1112. - Password, please?
- Yankee doodles.Copy !req
1113. Oh, good God.Copy !req
1114. Ooh! Uhh!Copy !req
1115. This is unbelievable.Copy !req
1116. So, what was your plan?Copy !req
1117. What do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
1118. Taking over the camp.Copy !req
1119. - Oh, good God!
- This is insane!Copy !req
1120. This is great.Copy !req
1121. Pat, you know what?
He snapped.Copy !req
1122. He was swinging
from a branch.Copy !req
1123. He was going to make us
climb a mountain.Copy !req
1124. Guys, you can't kidnap
the owner of a camp.Copy !req
1125. They give people
the chair for this.Copy !req
1126. It was self-defense.
You got to believe us.Copy !req
1127. I believe you.Copy !req
1128. This ends right now.Copy !req
1129. Get out of my way, Simms.Copy !req
1130. Yankee doodles.Copy !req
1131. Tony, I'm so sorry.
I'll untie you right away.Copy !req
1132. Uhh! Thank you.Copy !req
1133. When this is all over,
I'm going to deliver...Copy !req
1134. one well-placed kick
to your groin...Copy !req
1135. that'll stop you from
ever having children...Copy !req
1136. you worthless piece of—Copy !req
1137. Are these ropes tight enough?
We can get more.Copy !req
1138. I was going to help you out,
but now...Copy !req
1139. I have to take you down.Copy !req
1140. - All right!
- Yeah! Go!Copy !req
1141. I always wanted
to say that to somebody.Copy !req
1142. Guys, it looks like
we have to play this out.Copy !req
1143. I think there might be
a way out of this...Copy !req
1144. but if we're going
to succeed...Copy !req
1145. we have to stick together
and work as a team.Copy !req
1146. Uhh!Copy !req
1147. I'll see you all in hell!Copy !req
1148. Oh!Copy !req
1149. With all the bears
in these woods, Lars...Copy !req
1150. I doubt that you'll be
seeing much of anything.Copy !req
1151. - Bears love honey.
- Honey?Copy !req
1152. Chipmunks, move out.Copy !req
1153. Lars, have a nice summer.Copy !req
1154. - I didn't mean it.
- Heh heh heh!Copy !req
1155. I'm sorry. I...Copy !req
1156. Ow!Copy !req
1157. Aah! I hate you!Copy !req
1158. You're awful!Copy !req
1159. Please help me!Copy !req
1160. I have candy.Copy !req
1161. Candy.Copy !req
1162. Good boy.
You've come to free me.Copy !req
1163. Ohh!Copy !req
1164. Think we're going
a little too far here, guys?Copy !req
1165. No, man. There are no bears
in these woods.Copy !req
1166. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
1167. No bears, huh?Copy !req
1168. Aah!Copy !req
1169. Help me!Copy !req
1170. Don't you have any decency?
Help me!Copy !req
1171. Look at the little deer.Copy !req
1172. Mr. Deer,
I am a vegetarian.Copy !req
1173. Yeah!Copy !req
1174. Wake up, Tony.Copy !req
1175. Tonight is Evaluation Night.Copy !req
1176. The key word here is "value."Copy !req
1177. Do you have any?Copy !req
1178. No way,
because you're a loser—Copy !req
1179. a loser
with a skinny wiener.Copy !req
1180. So, relax...
and repeat after me.Copy !req
1181. I am a loser.Copy !req
1182. I smell.Copy !req
1183. I have no friends.Copy !req
1184. Now breathe and relax.Copy !req
1185. Please, shut that off!Copy !req
1186. Ohh!Copy !req
1187. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
1188. Wow!Copy !req
1189. All right!Copy !req
1190. Thank you very much
for stopping on by.Copy !req
1191. Pass it on by.
I'll take one of those.Copy !req
1192. Party! Yeah!Copy !req
1193. Oh, my gosh. Is that Tim?Copy !req
1194. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1195. He looks like a human s'more.Copy !req
1196. Look at that food.
I should get down there.Copy !req
1197. No, Pat, don't go.Copy !req
1198. Stay here with me.Copy !req
1199. - Aah!
- Shut up.Copy !req
1200. Hey, Lars, guess what?
We're in charge now.Copy !req
1201. Know what we found out?Copy !req
1202. If you don't have a job,
you get deported...Copy !req
1203. so, Lars, buddy, pal...Copy !req
1204. you with us,
or are you against us?Copy !req
1205. I am with you.Copy !req
1206. I love you.Copy !req
1207. I thought they were
supposed to be on diets.Copy !req
1208. I think they're cheating.Copy !req
1209. Good God!
Can anybody hear me?Copy !req
1210. Excuse me.Copy !req
1211. Time to wake up, children.Copy !req
1212. Good morning!Copy !req
1213. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
1214. Who wants to tell us
the lesson we learned here?Copy !req
1215. Don't put Twinkies
on your pizza.Copy !req
1216. No. I think
what we learned here...Copy !req
1217. is something about
personal responsibility.Copy !req
1218. From now on, each of us...Copy !req
1219. is in charge of
their own diets.Copy !req
1220. We have to learn
some self-control.Copy !req
1221. Isn't that right, Tim?Copy !req
1222. You got it.
I'm ashamed of all of you.Copy !req
1223. Come on!Copy !req
1224. We got to get healthy
for ourselves.Copy !req
1225. If we'd start
respecting ourselves...Copy !req
1226. no one can touch us.Copy !req
1227. That's right.
You heard me.Copy !req
1228. We're as good as anybody...Copy !req
1229. and it's about time
we started acting that way.Copy !req
1230. We got to take control
of ourselves...Copy !req
1231. before we take control
of this camp.Copy !req
1232. Who's with me?Copy !req
1233. Who wants to do
this thing right?Copy !req
1234. It's up to you.Copy !req
1235. I will.Copy !req
1236. - Everybody ready?
- Yeah!Copy !req
1237. OK, let's go!Copy !req
1238. Is a tomato
a fruit or a vegetable?Copy !req
1239. - Fruit.
- That's right.Copy !req
1240. Today, we're going to make
pasta primavera.Copy !req
1241. Hey, how you doing?Copy !req
1242. - There he is.
- Hey, I'm over here!Copy !req
1243. Gerry! Oh!Copy !req
1244. Hey, big guy. Look at you.Copy !req
1245. - You look the same.
- I feel good.Copy !req
1246. That's important, too.Copy !req
1247. So?Copy !req
1248. Come with me.
I'll take you around.Copy !req
1249. - He hasn't lost a pound.
- Oh, Maury.Copy !req
1250. Don't be frightened, Nicholas.Copy !req
1251. I'm a beaten man.Copy !req
1252. Good afternoon, everyone.Copy !req
1253. Good afternoon.
I'm Pat Finley.Copy !req
1254. You probably recognize me...Copy !req
1255. from my work in the Camp Hope
promotional video.Copy !req
1256. Right now, I'd like to play
another video...Copy !req
1257. to show you people
just what it's been like...Copy !req
1258. so far this summer.Copy !req
1259. This'll be great.Copy !req
1260. Enjoy.Copy !req
1261. Aah!Copy !req
1262. Die! Yaah!Copy !req
1263. As a health care
professional...Copy !req
1264. I would like to take
this opportunity...Copy !req
1265. to warn you that
Tony Perkis's program...Copy !req
1266. is not only ineffective,
it's downright dangerous.Copy !req
1267. My grandma
runs faster than you...Copy !req
1268. and she's only got one leg!Copy !req
1269. Say it one more time,
because it'll multiply.Copy !req
1270. - 40 push-ups?
- 60! Down! Now!Copy !req
1271. - 80!
- I can't—Copy !req
1272. He is strict.Copy !req
1273. Kiss the ground, joker boy.Copy !req
1274. Would you get
your foot off my back?Copy !req
1275. Now you see what
we've been dealing with.Copy !req
1276. Why didn't you tell us
about this?Copy !req
1277. You've been
a good guard, Nicholas—Copy !req
1278. strong and fair.Copy !req
1279. Your queen would be proud.Copy !req
1280. I'd like to reward you
with this chocolate kiss.Copy !req
1281. Oh!Copy !req
1282. Yeah!Copy !req
1283. Where have you been
all my life?Copy !req
1284. I'm going to love this.Copy !req
1285. Oh, my God.
I'm going to be sick.Copy !req
1286. Nice touch.Copy !req
1287. I thought
I'd spice it up a little.Copy !req
1288. It gives you
that warm feeling inside?Copy !req
1289. Throw it over.Copy !req
1290. But it would smush.Copy !req
1291. That wouldn't be good.Copy !req
1292. No dinner, no lunch,
no breakfast.Copy !req
1293. How's that grab you?Copy !req
1294. Take the candy.Copy !req
1295. Nice and chocolatey.Copy !req
1296. Chocolicious.Copy !req
1297. Whoops.Copy !req
1298. Butterfingers.Copy !req
1299. Aah!Copy !req
1300. Well, well...Copy !req
1301. looks like London bridge
is falling down, huh?Copy !req
1302. Help!Copy !req
1303. How do you like the food
here at Camp Hope?Copy !req
1304. It's good stuff.Copy !req
1305. Wait till I finish
asking you the question.Copy !req
1306. Just say,
"I love the food."Copy !req
1307. - I love the food.
- Good. Here we go.Copy !req
1308. So, Josh, how do you
like the food here?Copy !req
1309. I love the food.Copy !req
1310. Wait until
I finish the question!Copy !req
1311. Damn! Forget it!Copy !req
1312. If he isn't stopped
right away...Copy !req
1313. somebody's child—
maybe yours—Copy !req
1314. will be hurt.Copy !req
1315. Ho ho ho ho ho! Yes!Copy !req
1316. That was wonderful!Copy !req
1317. Whoo!Copy !req
1318. So entertaining.Copy !req
1319. The cinematography,
the editing techniques.Copy !req
1320. Though I must say...Copy !req
1321. the villain
was a bit over the top.Copy !req
1322. Ouch.
Everyone having fun?Copy !req
1323. Parents!Copy !req
1324. You're the cause of
all my—their problems!Copy !req
1325. He escaped!Copy !req
1326. You little
British butterball...Copy !req
1327. I ought to show you what
it means to be an American!Copy !req
1328. Now you realize what
we've been dealing with.Copy !req
1329. He has to be stopped!Copy !req
1330. Ho ho! Stop me, hmm?Copy !req
1331. Uhh! I'm too strong!Copy !req
1332. Uhh! Ah!Copy !req
1333. I'm too motivated!Copy !req
1334. And you're too weak!Copy !req
1335. Aah! Uhh!Copy !req
1336. Especially you,
Garner, Gerald...Copy !req
1337. age 11, 141 pounds!Copy !req
1338. So, come on!
You want a piece of me, Pops?Copy !req
1339. No one's taking
this camp away from me!Copy !req
1340. Ooh!Copy !req
1341. I'm afraid you're wrong.
You are through here.Copy !req
1342. - Are you OK?
- I'm all right.Copy !req
1343. You have to take a stand.Copy !req
1344. Uhh! Guhh!Copy !req
1345. Oh!Copy !req
1346. Uhh! Ahh!Copy !req
1347. - We did it, Roy.
- Yes, we did.Copy !req
1348. Sorry to ask you to deal
with this, Mr. Perkis.Copy !req
1349. That kid was always
a little off.Copy !req
1350. My parents didn't hug me.Copy !req
1351. You don't see me freaking out
like a little baby.Copy !req
1352. I'm going to take a bath
on this.Copy !req
1353. Listen, everybody...Copy !req
1354. don't freak out,
don't call your lawyers.Copy !req
1355. We'll get you your money back.Copy !req
1356. We make nice,
everybody's happy,Copy !req
1357. But for now,
we close down the camp.Copy !req
1358. Everybody go home.Copy !req
1359. Have a nice summer.
I got to get out of here.Copy !req
1360. I'd love to chat.
Good luck to all of you.Copy !req
1361. - Say something.
- Mr. Perkis, sir.Copy !req
1362. Papa.Copy !req
1363. Papa, we don't want to go home.Copy !req
1364. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1365. If you kids
want to stick it out...Copy !req
1366. all I need to do is
put an adult in charge—Copy !req
1367. put it on the responsibility
clause for the insurance.Copy !req
1368. Who's been here the longest?Copy !req
1369. - Four years.
- One year.Copy !req
1370. - Two.
- Four years.Copy !req
1371. - Three.
- Five.Copy !req
1372. Eighteen years.Copy !req
1373. Eighteen?Copy !req
1374. - Whoa.
- 18 years.Copy !req
1375. What the hell have you
been doing with yourself?Copy !req
1376. Are you up to it?Copy !req
1377. Pat. Pat.Copy !req
1378. Pat! Pat! Pat!Copy !req
1379. I'll sure try.Copy !req
1380. Hooray.
Ooh, yeah, OK.Copy !req
1381. Congratulations.
Here you go.Copy !req
1382. Do the hokey-pokey
and knock yourself out.Copy !req
1383. All right, Pat.Copy !req
1384. Enjoy yourselves.
You deserve it.Copy !req
1385. I'm proud of you.Copy !req
1386. Dear Grandma...Copy !req
1387. things have really
turned around at camp.Copy !req
1388. We're finally having
a great time.Copy !req
1389. Uhh!Copy !req
1390. Whoo!Copy !req
1391. Yee-haw!Copy !req
1392. We're in control,
and we like it.Copy !req
1393. We're putting things back
to the way they were...Copy !req
1394. and no one is going
to mess it up again.Copy !req
1395. Hey, Chris.Copy !req
1396. Where's the motor, man?Copy !req
1397. With Pat in charge...Copy !req
1398. we are united,
and we are strong.Copy !req
1399. Can I get that wrench,
Phillip?Copy !req
1400. Thank you.
Josh, how we doing?Copy !req
1401. Got a bent axle over here.Copy !req
1402. We can do anything...Copy !req
1403. even take on Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.Copy !req
1404. And we can win—I think.Copy !req
1405. Welcome, everybody...Copy !req
1406. to the 33rd Annual
Apache Relay games—Copy !req
1407. the favorites, Camp MVP...Copy !req
1408. versus the perennial losers,
Camp Hope.Copy !req
1409. This relay today
will consist of three parts—Copy !req
1410. an obstacle course,
the Hall of Intelligence...Copy !req
1411. and the Grand Prix.Copy !req
1412. May the best team win.Copy !req
1413. All right, Cody,
give it your best shot.Copy !req
1414. Put a little pizzazz in it.Copy !req
1415. On your mark, get set...Copy !req
1416. Get up, get up!Copy !req
1417. Uhh!Copy !req
1418. Looks like
an MVP romp again, folks.Copy !req
1419. Uhh!Copy !req
1420. Go, go, go!Copy !req
1421. Here, take it!Copy !req
1422. Whoa!Copy !req
1423. Keep going.
You got it, man. Yeah.Copy !req
1424. It's just a couple more.Copy !req
1425. Come on.Copy !req
1426. Up. All right, here.Copy !req
1427. OK. All right. Ready?Copy !req
1428. Uhh!Copy !req
1429. Yeah!Copy !req
1430. - Aww.
- Give me the balloon.Copy !req
1431. All right.
You can do it. It's easy.Copy !req
1432. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1433. I know you thought
we'd get creamed...Copy !req
1434. but I don't think
you'll get creamed riding this.Copy !req
1435. Whoa!Copy !req
1436. Did a little work on the motor.Copy !req
1437. Whoa.Copy !req
1438. You better
take that feather off.Copy !req
1439. I don't think
it'll fit under this.Copy !req
1440. Camp MVP is
setting a course record...Copy !req
1441. as they move into
the Hall of Intelligence.Copy !req
1442. Solve the equation.Copy !req
1443. - 55.
- No.Copy !req
1444. - 17?
- Nein.Copy !req
1445. Nine is the answer?Copy !req
1446. "Nein" is German for "no."Copy !req
1447. Artist and title, please.Copy !req
1448. Cher?Copy !req
1449. No.Copy !req
1450. Solve the equation.Copy !req
1451. Eleven.Copy !req
1452. Wunderbar. You may advance.Copy !req
1453. You must now name
five American vice presidents.Copy !req
1454. Quayle.Copy !req
1455. - George Washington.
- No.Copy !req
1456. - Quayle.
- You said that already.Copy !req
1457. Cher?Copy !req
1458. Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa."Copy !req
1459. Van Gogh's
"Houses at Auvers."Copy !req
1460. Botticelli's "La Primavera."Copy !req
1461. Over at
the Hall of Intelligence...Copy !req
1462. Camp Hope has almost
caught up to Camp MVP.Copy !req
1463. Can you believe it?Copy !req
1464. This is going to be
quite some finish, folks.Copy !req
1465. Right is gas,
left is brake.Copy !req
1466. - Alexander Haig?
- Sorry.Copy !req
1467. - Caught you.
- Shut up.Copy !req
1468. Nicholas, name five
American vice presidents.Copy !req
1469. Levi P. Morton,
John Calhoun...Copy !req
1470. Hubert Humphrey,
Spiro Agnew...Copy !req
1471. Walter Mondale.Copy !req
1472. That's perfect.
You may advance.Copy !req
1473. You Americans
have no sense of history.Copy !req
1474. Home stretch! Go, go!Copy !req
1475. Accelerate into the turns.
Don't forget.Copy !req
1476. Use your weight.
Lean into them.Copy !req
1477. Be careful.
This guy drives dirty.Copy !req
1478. - Thanks, Pat.
- Go get 'em.Copy !req
1479. Nicholas!Copy !req
1480. Come on!Copy !req
1481. I don't want to put
any pressure on you, Big Al...Copy !req
1482. but we have never lost
this race, all right?Copy !req
1483. Don't forget your wings, man.Copy !req
1484. Take 'em down, Captain.Copy !req
1485. Yeah! Ah ha!Copy !req
1486. Hey! Back off!Copy !req
1487. Whoa!Copy !req
1488. Ha ha!
So long, sucker!Copy !req
1489. Whoa! Aah!Copy !req
1490. Uhh!Copy !req
1491. Oh, shoot!Copy !req
1492. Come on!Copy !req
1493. Oh, no! Oh!Copy !req
1494. Go, Gerry.
They're coming!Copy !req
1495. All right, all right.Copy !req
1496. Go! Go, Gerry!Copy !req
1497. Hey! Come on!Copy !req
1498. - Come on!
- No!Copy !req
1499. Unh!Copy !req
1500. He's still behind!Copy !req
1501. He can't pass!Copy !req
1502. Come on! Unh!Copy !req
1503. No way!Copy !req
1504. Come on, Captain!
Come on, baby!Copy !req
1505. Ohhh.Copy !req
1506. Oooooooh!Copy !req
1507. Aah! Yeah!Copy !req
1508. Oh!Copy !req
1509. All right, Gerry!Copy !req
1510. - I flew, Pat!
- I know!Copy !req
1511. Hip-hip hooray!Copy !req
1512. Hip-hip hooray!
Hip-hip hooray!Copy !req
1513. - Yeah!
- All right!Copy !req
1514. You'll be happy to know that
we're filing a formal protest.Copy !req
1515. That cup belongs to us.Copy !req
1516. Oh, the cup?
This is what you want?Copy !req
1517. This is what your life
is all about, Chris?Copy !req
1518. I tell you what,
I'll airmail it...Copy !req
1519. back to camp for you,
all right?Copy !req
1520. Take care of that, Simms?Copy !req
1521. You're crazy!Copy !req
1522. You bet I'm crazy.Copy !req
1523. Come on! Get that cup!Copy !req
1524. - Oh!
- Crazy about my gal.Copy !req
1525. Whoo!Copy !req
1526. Whoo!Copy !req
1527. Hey, Pat...Copy !req
1528. thanks for the best
damn summer of my life!Copy !req
1529. Same here, Captain.Copy !req
1530. Whoo!Copy !req
1531. All right, guys!Copy !req
1532. Let's sing the inspiring
Camp Hope song!Copy !req
1533. Aw, come on! Here we go!Copy !req
1534. Come on, guys, sing!Copy !req
1535. Come on, Tim,
that song's boring.Copy !req
1536. Sing something cool.Copy !req
1537. You want to hear
something cool?Copy !req
1538. OK, cats, let's rock it.Copy !req
1539. Yow... huh!Copy !req
1540. All right, guys,
you're getting the hang of it!Copy !req
1541. Come on!Copy !req
1542. All right!
Sounds good! Here we go!Copy !req
1543. All right, guys!
Hey, look who's here!Copy !req
1544. Stop!
Stop that stupid song!Copy !req
1545. You call that music?Copy !req
1546. Thanks, Lars.
That's great.Copy !req
1547. All right, guys,
you ready to take it home?Copy !req
1548. - Yeah!
- Let's rock!Copy !req
1549. All right, guys,
that sounds great, yeah!Copy !req
1550. We got a bunch of
heavyweights here?Copy !req
1551. Are you guys heavyweights?Copy !req
1552. I said, are you
guys heavyweights?Copy !req
1553. Gerry,
are you a heavyweight?Copy !req
1554. - Yeah!
- All right, Gerry!Copy !req
1555. Now the rest of you guys!
Are you all heavyweights?Copy !req
1556. Yeah!Copy !req
1557. Counselors,
are we all heavyweights?Copy !req
1558. Yeah!
We're heavyweights!Copy !req
1559. - Pat, are you heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight!Copy !req
1560. Nurse Julie,
are you a heavyweight?Copy !req
1561. I'm a heavyweight!Copy !req
1562. - Lars, are you a heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight, Tim!Copy !req
1563. Kenny the cameraman,
are you a heavyweight?Copy !req
1564. - Yes, I'm a heavyweight.
- We're all heavyweights!Copy !req
1565. So, Lars, you think
you're coming back next year?Copy !req
1566. I don't know, Tim.
I live very far away.Copy !req
1567. We'll fly you in.Copy !req
1568. Kenny the cameraman,
think you can make it back?Copy !req
1569. I might be able
to work something out.Copy !req
1570. That'd be very nice.Copy !req
1571. What do you say, guys?
Does Camp Hope rule?Copy !req
1572. Pat, did you hurt
yourself on the Blob?Copy !req
1573. Yeah.
I tore my rotator cuff.Copy !req
1574. Good afternoon.Copy !req
1575. I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
1576. "Another guy hawking healing
crystals door-to-door."Copy !req
1577. I don't like
to call them crystals.Copy !req
1578. I like to call them
"transformational facilitators."Copy !req
1579. Perhaps—Copy !req