Happy Death Day (2017)

1. Shut up!

2. Oh, hey. You're up.

3. Yeah, I wasn't sure if you, you know, wanted to...

4. sleep in or not, so...

5. Am I in a dorm room?

6. Uh... yeah.

7. Where are my clothes?

8. O-On the dresser.

9. I... folded your pants last night,

10. and I wasn't sure if that... material

11. - gets wrinkled. - Great.

12. Uh...

13. don't know if you remember my name or not.

14. - Uh, pretty wasted last night. - Got Tylenol?

15. What?

16. My head is killing me.

17. Do you have any Tylenol?

18. Yes.

19. I do.

20. Uh, sorry.

21. Thanks.

22. I'm Carter, by the way.

23. Not a word of this to anyone. Got it?

24. Yeah. Sure.

25. Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or wha...

26. Nice one, dickhead.

27. Yeah, that'd be fine.

28. Hey.

29. Stop global warming? I...

30. - Oh. - Oh!

31. 26 hours, that's all you've got?

32. Hey.

33. Hi.

34. You haven't... returned any of my texts.

35. Yeah. Sorry, I've been busy.

36. Yeah. I can see that.

37. Okay, Tim, we went on a date.

38. One.

39. I don't have to text you back.

40. We're not, like, a thing.

41. Okay. I just...

42. you know, I figured we had a nice time...

43. You had a nice time.

44. I was miserable.

45. I mean, who takes their first date to Subway?

46. It's not like you have a footlong.

47. Does this look infected to you?

48. Ew!

49. Someone drank my kombucha.

50. Oh, my God.

51. You sneaky little beyatch.

52. Who was it?

53. Nobody.

54. Sisters don't keep secrets.

55. - Seriously, it was nobody. - Well,

56. I hope "nobody" used a condom.

57. We don't want "somebody"

58. - looking like a whore. - Thanks, Danielle.

59. Super helpful.

60. What are sisters for? Oh.

61. And don't forget,

62. - house meeting at lunch. - Living for it.

63. Hmm.

64. She finally rolls in.

65. Did I totally embarrass myself last night?

66. Not at all.

67. Unless you consider dancing on a table, starting two fights,

68. and barfing pretzel chunks all over the bar embarrassing.

69. Please tell me you're kidding.

70. Oh, and you also rammed your tongue down Nick Sims' throat

71. right in front of Danielle.

72. Oh, God,

73. but she was so nice to me this morning.

74. Yeah, I think she was as drunk as you last night,

75. so consider it collective amnesia.

76. Oh, thank God for that.

77. Oh... crap, I'm so late for class.

78. Can't find my damn book.

79. Ha!

80. Did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?

81. - How did you find out? - Driver's license.

82. Not the best picture, I might add.

83. - I assume you changed my ringer, too. - Who, me?

84. Never.

85. What'd you wish for?

86. - A new roommate. - Wench.

87. Uh... I made that from scratch.

88. Sorry. Too many carbs. Toodles.

89. Locomotive response

90. in the subject shows an acceleration

91. across the quantum plane.

92. This creates great orbital overlap

93. between the partially positive beta carbon...

94. and the partially negative hydrogen alkali group.

95. Get your school spirit on before the big game.

96. Ten percent off with your student ID.

97. And we still need to pick this year's charity.

98. I can say right now, there's no way we're doing

99. the Special Needs Art Fair again.

100. Totally freaked my shit out. Thoughts.

101. What's wrong?

102. Oh, I don't know.

103. What's wrong, Tree?

104. Nothing. Except for that cat lady buffet

105. you just dumped at our table.

106. And is that chocolate milk I see?

107. I missed breakfast.

108. What is breakfast, Becky?

109. - Oh! I'm sorry. - Oh, asshole!

110. - I'm sorry, Tree. - Wait,

111. you two know each other?

112. - Yeah, I... - No.

113. We had a... a class together last year.

114. Look, I was... bringing you this back.

115. Sorry, I didn't know where you lived, you know?

116. I...

117. Yeah.

118. I'm sorry again about the... the mess.

119. What a douchebag.

120. Dr. Lawrence to outpatient services.

121. Dr. Lawrence to outpatient services.

122. Lori. Hi.

123. Hi.

124. Um... so, I thought you only worked nights.

125. Doing a double for Jen. She has the flu.

126. - That's nice of you. - So, I guess I don't need to ask

127. what you're doing here.

128. Gotta go.

129. Look, Tree...

130. it's none of my business,

131. but... I think something like this

132. is bound to have some pretty serious consequences.

133. You're right.

134. It is none of your business.

135. Dr. Surd and Dr. Margolan, 2476.

136. Dr. Surd and Dr. Margolan, 2476.

137. We can't do this today... there's too much

138. going on in the building.

139. I have patients.

140. And I'm losing mine.

141. Gregory?

142. - Hey. - Hey, sweetie.

143. What's with the door?

144. Oh, stupid thing got jammed. Oh, just wrapping up here.

145. Have you met my student, Teresa?

146. No. I haven't.

147. Hi. It's nice to meet you.

148. Thank you so much for helping me out.

149. This is a nice surprise.

150. Nathan's been acting

151. really strange since our big fight,

152. and this morning he drove to Atlanta

153. for a last-minute business meeting

154. - about opening a new gym. — Enter.

155. Which is weird, because I've never heard anything

156. about it before.

157. But I'm trying not to let that bring me down.

158. - Is that my top? - How cute is it on me?

159. Whatever. Just don't get anything on it, please.

160. You mean like Nick's Nutter Butter?

161. Wow. How's he, Danielle?

162. What time you going to the party tonight?

163. I don't know. Later.

164. Our tuition dollars at work.

165. Anyhoo...

166. don't be too late, or all the cute Sigma boys will be taken.

167. Okay. Bye-ee.

168. - Bye-ee. - Who took my hairdryer?

169. Crazy bitch.

170. Teresa, it's Dad.

171. I sat in that restaurant waiting for you

172. for over an hour.

173. I can't believe you would do this to me,

174. today of all days.

175. - Whoo! - Oh, yeah!

176. How you feel, baby!

177. Hey, come on!

178. Okay, you guys are hilarious.

179. You can come out now.

180. Losers.

181. Yo, I think your friends

182. went the other way.

183. Can I help you?

184. Look, weirdo,

185. I'm not scared. Why don't you go try this

186. with one of the heifers at Delta Gamma?

187. They're into cosplay.

188. Okay, I'm calling the cops.

189. Shut up!

190. Oh, hey. You're up.

191. Yeah, I wasn't sure if you,

192. you know, wanted to sleep in or not, so...

193. Oh.

194. Right. Yeah.

195. I folded your pants... for you last night,

196. and I wasn't sure if... the material gets... wrinkled.

197. Uh...

198. I don't know if you remember my name or not.

199. You know, you were... pretty wasted last night.

200. But, uh...

201. - I'm... I'm... - Carter.

202. You remembered.

203. - Uh, Tylenol? - What?

204. Oh, my head is killing me... do you have any Tylenol?

205. Oh, uh... yes.

206. Um...

207. It's over there.

208. Right.

209. It's under your clothes, on... on the...

210. - Okay. - Right. Right.

211. Ah, thanks.

212. And...

213. It's like you've been here before.

214. Are you okay?

215. Tree?

216. Are you okay?

217. Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or wha...

218. Ooh.

219. I'm... I'm sorry.

220. Nice one, dickhead.

221. Hey.

222. Stop global warming? I...

223. Um, sorry, no, thanks.

224. - Oh. - Oh!

225. Come on!

226. Hey.

227. You... haven't returned any of my texts.

228. Tim, what day is it?

229. Uh... Monday the 18th.

230. You're sure?

231. I'm pretty sure.

232. I, um...

233. I gotta go.

234. Call me?

235. Oh, my God.

236. You sneaky little beyatch.

237. Who was it?

238. Sisters don't keep secrets.

239. - I'm totally having déjà vu right now. - Oh.

240. I have it all the time. It's supposed to mean, like,

241. someone's thinking about you while they're masturbating.

242. I have it at least five times a day.

243. Seriously, I've been having it all day, it's so weird.

244. Maybe you should switch to water next time, hon.

245. Uh, yeah, thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

246. What are sisters for? Oh! And don't forget,

247. house meeting at lunch.

248. Hello?

249. It's been on the board since last Thursday, Tree.

250. Yeah, I remember. I...

251. Um...

252. She finally rolls in.

253. That's so weird.

254. You okay?

255. You were kind of a mess last night.

256. Uh...

257. Oh, shit, I'm so late for class.

258. Did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?

259. Don't you want to know how I found out?

260. Driver's license?

261. Clever girl.

262. That picture, though?

263. I got to go.

264. But...

265. you-you didn't even blow out the...

266. candle.

267. We really need to step up our game

268. at these frat parties, okay?

269. And...

270. we still need to pick this year's charity.

271. I can say right now there's no way

272. we're doing the Special Needs Art Fair again.

273. Get your school spirit on before the big game.

274. Ten percent off with your student ID.

275. T-shirts.

276. What's wrong, Tree?

277. Um, I'm just a little tired I guess.

278. No, dumb-ass.

279. What's wrong with that?

280. So not Kappa cuisine.

281. And is that chocolate milk I see?

282. I missed breakfast.

283. We all miss breakfast, Becky.

284. Becky.

285. Becky, look out.

286. I'm...

287. - so sorry. I'm sorry, Tree. - Wait.

288. You two know each other?

289. - No. - Yeah. I mean...

290. we had a... a class together last year.

291. That's all.

292. I'm sorry about all this.

293. Hey.

294. What?

295. My bracelet.

296. Oh.

297. You know, I'm sorry again about... you know, the mess.

298. What a douchebag.

299. Hey, we can't do this today.

300. There's too much going on in the building.

301. I need to talk to you.

302. Tree, I...

303. I know what you're gonna say.

304. You do?

305. Look, it's normal

306. for a young girl to have feelings for an older man,

307. but you can't fall in love.

308. I'm not falling in love with you.

309. You're not?

310. No. I've been having the weirdest day and... mmm.

311. Your wife.

312. Uh, that's kind of a buzzkill.

313. Gregory.

314. Are you in there?

315. Thank God you locked the door.

316. Hey, sweetie.

317. Uh, I didn't realize I'd locked the door, um...

318. uh, just wrapping up here.

319. Have you met my student, Teresa?

320. No.

321. I haven't.

322. Nice to meet you.

323. My favorite girls. Blow it out.

324. There you go.

325. - Dad, what's up? - You guys,

326. I think I just spotted a bug.

327. - Where? - Right there. See? - Take a look. Mm-hmm.

328. - Mom... - And Mom goes in for the kill!

329. - Oh, my God! - Oh, no.

330. - Oh, no! - Do you know...

331. Don't look at me.

332. Oh, I guess I'm

333. not having leftovers.

334. last minute business meeting about opening

335. - a new gym. - I know.

336. I'm just borrowing it for tonight.

337. What time you going to the party?

338. to let that bring me down, because...

339. Hello?

340. - Earth to space bitch. - What?

341. What time are you going to the party?

342. Uh, f... I don't know. Later.

343. Our tuition dollars at work.

344. Okay, whoa.

345. Chill out. It's just another rolling blackout, sweetie.

346. - It happened before? - Yeah.

347. Like, two weeks ago.

348. Anyhoo... don't be too late

349. or all the cute Sigma boys will be taken.

350. Who took my hairdryer?

351. Teresa, it's Dad.

352. I sat in that restaurant waiting for you for over an...

353. Yo, Mike.

354. Come on, hurry up, man.

355. Hold up. I'm coming.

356. Here we come!

357. No way.

358. Uh...

359. Surprise?

360. What the hell, Tree?

361. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

362. I thought that you...

363. I am so, so sorry. I...

364. Don't mess with a Kappa bitch.

365. - Are you serious? - Yes.

366. That slut.

367. - Who? - Lori.

368. She said she'd be here.

369. She's so out of the house next year.

370. I think she said she had, like, a double shift.

371. Whatevs. She's been boning some mystery guy.

372. There's your stalker.

373. He's so hot.

374. - Danielle! - What?

375. That is so gross.

376. Oh, okay.

377. Cheers?

378. Hi.

379. Why were you wearing that stupid mask anyway?

380. The big game's on Friday,

381. I just thought I'd show a little school spirit.

382. Never thought I'd get clocked for it.

383. I really am sorry. Did you ice it?

384. It's fine.

385. You can make it up to me later.

386. What?

387. Don't "what" me.

388. You know exactly what you're doing, Tree.

389. What am I doing, Danielle?

390. Danielle.

391. Nick?

392. Wow.

393. Je...

394. Oh, shit, Nick, you scared me.

395. You want me to punch you in the face again?

396. Welcome...

397. to the Pleasure Dome.

398. It's a little loud, don't you think?

399. Okay!

400. I'm officially over this.

401. Have fun in the Sahara Tent.

402. Come on, Nick, seriously,

403. Danielle's, like, freaking out.

404. Oh!

405. Help me! Help me!

406. Oh...!

407. You asshole!

408. No!

409. What, is everything okay?

410. What's...

411. I mean, I don't know if you remember my name or not.

412. - You were... - Pretty wasted?

413. Yeah.

414. Uh...

415. - And your name's Carter. - Yeah.

416. And we've never met before.

417. I mean, no, not until last night.

418. Oh, my God, this is a nightmare.

419. I'm sorry.

420. You were the one that wanted to come home with me.

421. Dude, did you hit that fine vagi...

422. Nice one, dickhead.

423. Stop global warming?

424. A simple "no thanks" would do!

425. 26 hours, that's all you got?

426. Keep going!

427. I can't hear you!

428. Hey.

429. You okay?

430. You haven't returned any of my texts.

431. She finally rolls in.

432. Hey, you okay?

433. Tree?

434. Tree, what's wrong?

435. Say something.

436. Lori, I...

437. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

438. I don't know what's happening to me.

439. Okay.

440. Just calm down.

441. Tell me what's going on.

442. Look, I know this isn't gonna make any sense,

443. but I have already lived through this day.

444. Twice.

445. - Tree, I, um... - No, no, no,

446. believe me; I know it sounds totally crazy,

447. but this is happening to me, I swear to God.

448. Tree, I'm sure it feels like you're living through...

449. O-Okay, okay, you made me a cupcake.

450. For my birthday, right?

451. You're about to give it to me and then later on tonight,

452. there's a surprise party.

453. Who told you?

454. - Was it Becky? - No, no, nobody told me.

455. That's what I mean. Don't you see?

456. I know what is going to happen before it happens.

457. - Just... - Lori.

458. Lori, somebody's gonna kill me tonight.

459. Oh.

460. Okay.

461. Okay, I get it.

462. Who put you up to this?

463. - Was it Danielle? - No, no,

464. no, this isn't some stupid joke.

465. This is actually happening to me.

466. I don't know who's going to kill me,

467. but someone is, I just don't know who it is yet.

468. - I... - Tree, you're starting to freak me out.

469. Well, how do you think I feel?

470. Tree, look at me.

471. Nobody is trying to kill you.

472. - Yes, they are, Lori. - Tree, look at me.

473. I know that today's hard with your mom and all.

474. Why don't you skip class?

475. Just... take the day off and get some rest.

476. I promise you, you'll feel better tomorrow.

477. Okay?

478. Let's see you get in here now, asshole.

479. Tree?

480. Why is the door locked?

481. Um, I-I just need some alone time.

482. What time you going to the party tonight?

483. I don't know.

484. Our tuition dollars at work.

485. Anyhoo...

486. don't be too late or all the cute Sigma boys

487. will be taken.

488. Okay, see you soon.

489. Who took my hairdryer?

490. opening a new gym.

491. Which is weird, because I've never heard anything

492. about it before.

493. But I'm trying not to let that bring me down,

494. because I'm on my way to pick up Jace.

495. I'm just happy

496. you're gonna see Jace this morning.

497. - I know. - It's been, like, almost a month.

498. He's gonna be so excited to see you.

499. Where'd Lori put the frickin' remote?

500. - Hi, Jace! - Hey, Jace!

501. Hey!

502. - Hi. - Hi.

503. I'm Barbara.

504. - I am Crystal. - Hi.

505. Nice to meet you.

506. - Can you say bye to Mamey? - Bye.

507. Stay buckled and have a good time...

508. G-48!

509. Ain't that great!

510. - G-48! - G-48!

511. I don't know what's going on

512. with you and that other guy, okay?

513. is being treated for a gunshot wound

514. following a deadly shootout this morning

515. that left one officer dead.

516. Tombs was the subject of...

517. Do you go through a can of hairspray

518. trying to get that full, volumized look?

519. Then bump it up

520. with Bumpits...

521. and get that salon-style look,

522. flat to fabulous, instantly.

523. Imagine being able to create today's hottest...

524. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

525. Oh, my...

526. Aah! Aah!

527. What's wrong?

528. What's going on?

529. - Ow. - Tree? Are you okay? Are you sick?

530. Oh, my God, make it stop,

531. - make it stop, make it stop. - Are you okay?

532. - Get away from me! - All right.

533. Come on, just...

534. - Oh. - Oh!

535. I'm sorry.

536. You... forgot your stuff.

537. Will you please stop staring at me

538. like I took a dump on your mom's head?

539. I'm sorry. I'm... just trying to...

540. wrap my brain around this.

541. How's that going for you?

542. Assuming that I believe any of this is even remotely possible,

543. there has to be a reason you're stuck in this day, okay?

544. Out of all the days of your life,

545. what makes this day special?

546. What gives this day meaning?

547. It's your birthday?

548. Yeah.

549. - Hello? - So? Birthdays are just excuses

550. to, like, eat cake and open presents and shit.

551. There's no real meaning behind a birthday.

552. No, it's symbolic, okay?

553. Whoever's killing you knows it's your birthday.

554. All right, look.

555. Give me a list of names

556. of everybody who knows it's your birthday

557. and whoever's trying to kill you.

558. Well, thanks to my sorority, pretty much the entire school

559. knows it's my birthday.

560. They're throwing me this stupid surprise party tonight.

561. I mean, it literally could be anyone.

562. I mean, who has motive?

563. Okay, maybe it's Danielle.

564. - All right. - Apparently, I made out with some guy she liked

565. right in front of her last night.

566. Oh.

567. Oh. Must have been before we met.

568. Busy night?

569. Okay, Mr. I'm Gonna Take This Drunk Girl Home

570. and Take Advantage of Her, don't judge.

571. For the record, I didn't take advantage of you last night.

572. Okay? I slept on Ryan's bed.

573. So, w... we didn't...

574. - have s... - No.

575. You were wasted last night.

576. And I was afraid you were gonna fall

577. or choke on your own vomit, like Janis Joplin.

578. Uh, wh... what were we...

579. - Suspects. - Right, suspects.

580. Um, okay, so Danielle.

581. There's... Gregory.

582. Um, his wife.

583. Creepy Tim.

584. Oh. Um, that tiny girl from T.J. Maxx that I got fired.

585. And maybe the Uber driver that I spit on last week.

586. I think his name was...

587. What? Nobody's perfect.

588. Okay, this isn't helping.

589. This is pointless, isn't it?

590. All right, look, the way I see it is-is...

591. you have unlimited amount of lives,

592. so you have unlimited opportunities to solve

593. - your own murder. - So I'm just supposed to keep dying

594. until I figure out who my killer is?

595. - That's your genius plan? - Do you have a better idea?

596. Hey!

597. It's so exhausting.

598. Asshole!

599. - You bitch! - Ow!

600. I knew it was you!

601. I'm gonna kill you!

602. Oh, my God. Becky?

603. Becky.

604. Becky! Becky?

605. - Shut up! - Ow.

606. Yeah, I wasn't sure if you wanted to... sleep in or not.

607. Your plan totally sucks.

608. What?

609. I don't know if you remember my name or not.

610. You know, you were... pretty wasted last night.

611. Um... but I'm Carter.

612. Are you okay?

613. Never better.

614. - Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah, I'm-I'm fine.

615. Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or wha...

616. 'Sup? Hey, um...

617. I'm sorry to bother you guys, uh...

618. Uh... Carter?

619. Please? A little help? Carter?

620. Tree.

621. Hey, hey, hey. Calm down.

622. It's-it's just me.

623. How you doing?

624. What... what happened?

625. You... you collapsed this morning.

626. What day is it?

627. Uh, it's Monday.

628. What's the date?

629. Uh, it's... the 18th.

630. Oh, we've been trying to get in contact with your parents,

631. but for some reason...

632. - Geez! - Can I help you?

633. Uh, I'm just...

634. - I'm checking on her. - It's okay.

635. - He's a friend. - Sorry. Visiting hours are over.

636. Got it.

637. Thanks, Carter.

638. Feel better.

639. When can I get out of here?

640. Uh, I'm having a hard time pulling your medical records.

641. Why?

642. We just got these back from imaging,

643. and these are signs of...

644. major trauma.

645. I mean, given the severity of the scar tissue

646. and the size of the lesions...

647. This is gonna sound crazy, but...

648. technically... you should be dead.

649. Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing?

650. - I need to get out of here. - No way.

651. No, you need to stay here for observation.

652. If I don't get out of here, I'm gonna die.

653. - I need to go... - Tree, Tree, shh, shh.

654. Listen to me.

655. You are absolutely safe here.

656. Okay.

657. I won't let anything happen to you.

658. I'm really thirsty.

659. Could you get me a soda?

660. Sure.

661. Thank you.

662. Special delivery.

663. Keys, keys, keys.

664. Shit.

665. Oh, Gregory, where are the car keys? Come on.

666. Tree, Tree, it's okay.

667. It's okay. It's just me.

668. Gregory, look out!

669. No.

670. No!

671. Oh, my God. Come on.

672. Come on, no.

673. Oh...

674. No.

675. I did it.

676. I did it!

677. I did it!

678. Yeah!

679. Catch me now, bitch!

680. What?

681. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

682. Come on!

683. No!

684. Oh, sh... shit!

685. Shit, shit, shit.

686. I know I was speeding, Officer.

687. - I just... - Turn off the engine, please.

688. Yes, Officer.

689. License and registration.

690. I, um...

691. I don't have it.

692. Pardon me?

693. He's trying to kill me again.

694. - Again? - Yes.

695. I mean, no, I me...

696. he was trying before, but this time I got away.

697. But I-I-I didn't have time to grab my clothes

698. and my driver's license is in my pocket.

699. Ma'am, are you under the influence of alcohol

700. or any other controlled substance?

701. No! That is what I'm trying to...

702. Wait.

703. If I am, does that mean that you're going to arrest me

704. and lock me in a jail cell?

705. That's how it usually works.

706. I'm drunk.

707. You are?

708. Wasted. And I'm high.

709. You know, pills, weed.

710. You name it, man, I'm on it.

711. Uh, well...

712. then I'm gonna put you under arrest.

713. That's a good idea.

714. Let me help you.

715. Um, all right.

716. You know, never been arrested before.

717. Uh-huh.

718. - Thank you! - All units,

719. we got a 187 at University Hospital.

720. Suspect is believed...

721. No!

722. Shit. Oh, God, get me out!

723. Get me out, get me out!

724. What do you want?

725. Why are you doing this to me?

726. Who are you?

727. Show your face, you pussy!

728. Where are you going?

729. Oh, shit!

730. Oh, fuck.

731. Oh, hey.

732. - You're up. - Silence!

733. Wait, you been here before?

734. Hey, uh, you know, I don't think you should be

735. taking that many. I mean, you could...

736. you could die.

737. If only it were that easy.

738. Water, por favor.

739. Come on.

740. - Here you go. - Mm.

741. Ah.

742. Dude, did you hit that...

743. Hi.

744. I'm the so-called fine vagine.

745. And if that's the way that you refer to girls,

746. you and your hand are going to have

747. a very lasting relationship.

748. Have a nice day.

749. What?

750. I mean, are you...

751. you always this charming in the morning?

752. Mm. Just this one.

753. So were you having a bad dream or something?

754. Sorry?

755. You were just... screaming

756. - before you woke up. - Oh.

757. Well...

758. I was dying.

759. Again.

760. What?

761. Uh, it's a long story.

762. Well, I mean, I-I've got, you know, time.

763. I'm not doing anything today, if-if you want to...

764. Seriously?

765. I hate this sticker.

766. Hey, wait!

767. Why are you following me?

768. I... I want to hear your story.

769. Look, no offense, but the last time

770. I explained it to you, it got me nowhere.

771. So...

772. "The last time"?

773. Hey.

774. So you're-you're having bad dreams.

775. I took an elective course on neurocognition

776. - in dream content. - Mm. Hooray for you.

777. I'm just saying, I-I...

778. I might be able to help, you know?

779. Can you help me stop reliving the same day over and over,

780. only to be murdered by someone I may or may not know?

781. Yeah. Thought so.

782. - Stop global warming? - Mm.

783. So, wait, you literally think you're reliving the same day?

784. Yep.

785. And somebody kills you?

786. Yep again.

787. All right, come on. You're just messing with me, right?

788. Sprinklers.

789. Oh!

790. Car alarm.

791. Run!

792. Now, see that pledge over there,

793. the one in the baseball hat?

794. He's going to fall right... now.

795. - Keep going! - Hmm.

796. Any questions?

797. How are your fries?

798. - Yeah, they're good. - Mm.

799. Mm.

800. - That's... impressive. - Mm.

801. That was nothing.

802. - Did you get it all out? - Whatever.

803. You won't remember it anyway.

804. It's your dad. Do you want to... want to get that?

805. I was never close with my dad.

806. Can't even remember the last time he called me

807. on my birthday.

808. Kind of always forgets.

809. Yeah. I'm supposed to be with mine.

810. I don't know. I couldn't bear the thought

811. of sitting through another uncomfortable celebration

812. while we both pretend that everything is awesome.

813. Are you closer with your mom?

814. Was.

815. What happened?

816. Oh. She...

817. Yeah. Three years ago.

818. I'm sorry. That...

819. that-that sucks.

820. Yeah.

821. We actually share the same birthday, though.

822. Seriously?

823. That's crazy.

824. Yeah, when I was a kid,

825. I always got to skip school.

826. We'd go to the beach.

827. My dad would buy us this, like, huge birthday cake

828. and put just one candle on it.

829. We'd blow it out together.

830. I bet you miss her.

831. Yeah.

832. You know what's funny?

833. You relive the same day over and over again,

834. you kind of start to see who you really are.

835. If my mom saw me now,

836. you know, who I've become,

837. I don't think she'd be very proud.

838. Don't say that.

839. It's true.

840. I'm not a good person, Carter.

841. Maybe this is karma. Maybe I deserve it.

842. Well, look, I don't... know you all that well,

843. but it's never too late to change.

844. I mean, especially if what you're saying is true.

845. Each new day is...

846. it's a chance to be somebody better.

847. See, that's just it.

848. I don't think I have that many chances left.

849. I keep on getting weaker every time I come back.

850. You know, maybe I'm like that cat with nine lives.

851. Eventually, I'm gonna run out.

852. Let's go live now to Bayfield University Hospital,

853. where Jennifer Tran has the latest

854. on this developing situation.

855. I'm standing outside the Bayfield University Hospital,

856. where suspected murderer John Tombs is being treated

857. for a gunshot wound, following a...

858. Can you turn that up, please?

859. that left one officer dead.

860. Tombs was the subject of a nationwide manhunt that ended

861. - after a five-month pursuit across four - What's going on?

862. - state lines that left six female victims. - Tree.

863. Authorities are still not sure if Tombs is responsible

864. - for the murder of more than a dozen - Oh, my God.

865. Other victims he's claimed to have buried across

866. - the vast desert of Arizona... - He's been here the whole time.

867. What? Tree!

868. Hey...

869. Tree!

870. He's going to escape! Call the police!

871. - Who? - John Tombs. Just call the police.

872. - What? - Wait, don't go in there!

873. Shit.

874. Excuse me, what are you doing?

875. He has a gun! He has a gun, run!

876. Come on, come on.

877. Hey!

878. Carter!

879. Stop!

880. Stop it right now!

881. Hey!

882. No.

883. No.

884. Carter!

885. Ah!

886. No!

887. There's nowhere to hide, little girl!

888. Ow...

889. Carter.

890. If I don't reset this day, he's gone forever.

891. Should've killed me when you had the chance.

892. Come on. Olly, olly, oxen free.

893. Hey!

894. See you soon, asshole.

895. Oh, hey. You're up.

896. Hey, I wasn't sure if you wanted...

897. I can't believe you tried to save my life!

898. Thank you so much!

899. Yeah.

900. Yeah, no biggie. I just, you know,

901. brought you home.

902. Uh, I don't know if you remember my name.

903. Carter.

904. Yeah.

905. You...

906. - I... - Oh!

907. Do you mind if I borrow this?

908. Uh...

909. Yeah, yeah.

910. Sure.

911. See you at lunch.

912. Dude, did you hit that fine vagine or what?

913. You naughty, naughty boy!

914. Fine vagine out!

915. What just happened?

916. - Hey. Stop global warming? - Sure.

917. You save that planet, girl.

918. Sprinklers are about to go off!

919. You're welcome!

920. I can't hear you!

921. Oh, Tim!

922. I know you're back there.

923. Hi, Tim.

924. - Hey. - Hi.

925. Uh, you haven't returned any of my texts.

926. Look, Tim, let's get real.

927. I know you don't like girls.

928. Stop trying to be someone you're not.

929. Love is love, right?

930. Now you go out there and get yourself

931. a fine piece of man ass.

932. Good morning.

933. Oh, my God.

934. You sneaky little beyatch.

935. His name's Carter.

936. No, we did not have sex,

937. but if I finally make it through this day somehow,

938. I'm gonna have his babies.

939. Lots to do; gotta go.

940. She finally rolls in.

941. What's wrong? Ugh...

942. Um, nothing.

943. No, it's...

944. Look, Lori,

945. I have been the worst roommate.

946. You've always been there for me,

947. but I've been way too selfish to even appreciate it.

948. Can we start over?

949. I promise not to be such a loser.

950. Are you high?

951. On life.

952. Oh! By the way,

953. I want to hear about this mystery guy.

954. When extreme agitation occurs,

955. locomotive response in the subject shows

956. - an acceleration... - Dr. Butler.

957. Can I have a word, please?

958. What the hell do...

959. What the hell do you think you're doing?

960. I'm ending this.

961. Wait, what?

962. I never should've started seeing you.

963. It was wrong,

964. and I...

965. Anyway, I can't change what I've done,

966. but I can start trying to be a better person today.

967. What lame little self-help book did you get that from?

968. You know what?

969. You have a wife who loves you so much.

970. So if you can't be faithful to her,

971. at least have the balls to leave.

972. Don't expect me to let you coast by in my class now.

973. Already dropped it.

974. I just have to say

975. how totally sad and disappointing it is

976. when certain people can't be bothered to make it

977. to a mandatory house meeting.

978. We were supposed to be picking this year's charity.

979. Becky?

980. Is that chocolate milk I see?

981. I skipped breakfast...

982. Oh!

983. Mmm. Mmm.

984. Mmm!

985. Oh, my God! That is so good.

986. What's up with the fat fest?

987. We're Kappas.

988. Come on, hon, live a little.

989. Few calories won't kill ya.

990. No.

991. It'll just turn me into a chunker.

992. Like Becky here.

993. Okay.

994. Oh, my God!

995. You'll be okay!

996. Hey, Tree?

997. Hey.

998. Just, uh, coming by to...

999. What was that for?

1000. I have to run, but what are you doing later tonight?

1001. Nothing.

1002. Do you want to take me out for my birthday?

1003. What's the punch line?

1004. Look, I know it's really random,

1005. but I promise I'll explain everything tomorrow.

1006. Assuming there is one.

1007. Just say yes.

1008. All right. Yeah.

1009. Yeah.

1010. Great.

1011. Excuse me.

1012. Can I pay for my coffee, please?

1013. You're not gonna eat?

1014. No, just the check, please.

1015. I'll be right back.

1016. Hi, Daddy. Sorry I'm late.

1017. Like your tie.

1018. Thanks.

1019. How's school?

1020. Fine.

1021. Like your classes?

1022. They're fine, Dad.

1023. I don't want to do that anymore.

1024. Do what?

1025. Small talk.

1026. It's just that...

1027. this day...

1028. this day is really... hard for me.

1029. And, um...

1030. I miss Mom.

1031. You know? I miss her so much.

1032. I miss the way that she smells.

1033. I miss that crazy horse laugh

1034. she has.

1035. Yeah.

1036. Me, too.

1037. And I...

1038. I guess I thought that if

1039. I avoided all of it...

1040. if I avoided you...

1041. that somehow it would be easier.

1042. But it's not.

1043. It's been so much worse.

1044. All of this running and hiding has made me so miserable.

1045. And I think I finally figured it out.

1046. For me, it took something, like, totally crazy, but...

1047. but I'm here.

1048. And I love you.

1049. And I am so, so sorry that I hurt you.

1050. Happy birthday, baby.

1051. Stay calm.

1052. I need you to stand up.

1053. Slowly.

1054. Slowly.

1055. Okay, good.

1056. Okay, this-this is a really bad idea.

1057. Okay, well, so is dying for the 16th time.

1058. Okay.

1059. Now turn around.

1060. I need you to listen to me.

1061. He's going to escape.

1062. We can talk about this. Just put the gun down.

1063. He's going to escape. Go get help.

1064. - Go! - Okay.

1065. I know you're not asleep.

1066. Open your eyes.

1067. Safety's on, little girl.

1068. Ah, ah, what do we have here?

1069. Hmm?

1070. You know, real nice surprise,

1071. you coming to visit me like this.

1072. Whew. I like you.

1073. Damn shame.

1074. But you're a feisty little shit, ain't you?

1075. That's right. Crawl, little girl, crawl.

1076. Or...

1077. I'll just make this one real quick for you, okay?

1078. Hey!

1079. Safety's off.

1080. Thanks for the tip.

1081. Who took my hairdryer?

1082. So, this has got to be, like,

1083. the strangest birthday you've ever had, huh?

1084. You have no idea.

1085. Did you ever figure out how Tombs got free?

1086. No.

1087. No one knows.

1088. It's kind of like Houdini.

1089. Yeah.

1090. I guess.

1091. What are you gonna wish for?

1092. Tomorrow.

1093. Tomorrow?

1094. That's...

1095. I mean, isn't that kind of a given?

1096. You want to aim for anything higher?

1097. No.

1098. Tomorrow's good enough for me.

1099. Shut up!

1100. Oh, hey. You're up.

1101. Yeah.

1102. I'm surprised you remember my name.

1103. You were pretty wasted last night.

1104. This can't be happening.

1105. This can't be happening.

1106. - What? - I killed him!

1107. I stopped it!

1108. Who? What are you talking about?

1109. What's going on?

1110. I mean, look, you were probably

1111. just having a bad dream or something.

1112. That happens to me all the time

1113. when I'm drinking. You know, I...

1114. Nice one. Dickhead.

1115. She finally rolls in.

1116. Going somewhere?

1117. Yes.

1118. As far away as possible.

1119. Tree, what's wrong?

1120. Me. I was wrong.

1121. I thought if I stopped running, that I could beat it.

1122. But it's never gonna stop!

1123. Tree, you're freaking me out.

1124. Oh, well! That's me, a freak!

1125. Tree...

1126. Tree, look.

1127. Happy birthday.

1128. Thanks, but I already ate it last night.

1129. Oh, my God.

1130. I died in my sleep.

1131. What?

1132. You killed me.

1133. What?

1134. You poisoned it.

1135. But I never ate it before.

1136. So you had to find another way.

1137. Then Tombs fell right into your lap.

1138. Perfect scapegoat.

1139. You had access to him.

1140. Did you drug him first?

1141. You knew that if he escaped,

1142. everyone would assume that he killed me.

1143. But it was always you.

1144. Tree, are...

1145. is this a joke?

1146. You think I would actually try to poison you

1147. with a freakin' cupcake?

1148. Okay, then.

1149. Prove it.

1150. Go on, Lori.

1151. Take a bite.

1152. Go on, Lori.

1153. You really are crazy.

1154. Okay, then.

1155. I'll take it down to the police.

1156. I'm sure they can tell us

1157. what your little birthday treat is made of.

1158. You stupid little whore.

1159. I know I've been a bad roommate,

1160. but isn't this a bit much?

1161. What the hell?

1162. Oh, I don't know,

1163. maybe because you wouldn't stop sleeping with him.

1164. What?

1165. Gregory?

1166. But he just kept choosing you.

1167. Over me.

1168. Guess all he wanted was a cheap slut like you!

1169. Wait.

1170. You've been killing me over some stupid guy?

1171. Oh, that's not the only reason.

1172. You're a dumb bitch, too!

1173. But what I really want to know is...

1174. how did you figure it out?

1175. Because you've killed me before.

1176. Then I guess I'm just gonna have to do it again.

1177. Ow.

1178. Ow! Ah!

1179. No! Bitch!

1180. No!

1181. What the hell is going on in there?

1182. Nothing.

1183. Tree just fell.

1184. Everything's fine.

1185. Whatever. Clumsy hoes.

1186. I better see you at the meeting today.

1187. We'll be there.

1188. Eat it, bitch!

1189. What are you losers doing in there?

1190. Lori...

1191. ate...

1192. my cupcake.

1193. I just knew there was something wrong with Lori.

1194. She never wore makeup,

1195. never posted any cute selfies,

1196. and she literally

1197. owned a pair of Crocs.

1198. All the signs of a psycho killer were th...

1199. Hello?

1200. I'm trying to get interviewed here.

1201. Oh, my God, she is such a tool.

1202. Anyhoo... Lori's little plot was super lame.

1203. Poisoning a cupcake? Really?

1204. We're Kappas.

1205. We don't eat cupcakes.

1206. - Tree, honey, are you okay? - Hey, Dad.

1207. - Dad. - Are you hurt?

1208. Dad, no, Dad, I'm fine.

1209. I promise.

1210. - Are you sure? - Yeah.

1211. I'm just a little scratched up.

1212. All right.

1213. Okay. I'll see you soon.

1214. - I love you. - I love you, too. Bye.

1215. So, uh, now that your...

1216. bedroom is officially a crime scene and all,

1217. uh, where you planning on crashing tonight?

1218. Is that an invitation?

1219. You sure you want to wake up in a dorm room again?

1220. Only if it's yours.

1221. Well, I mean, of course,

1222. you'll have to sleep in Ryan's bed.

1223. - Of course. - Yeah.

1224. We can, yeah...

1225. Oh, uh...

1226. almost forgot.

1227. You left this little guy.

1228. Thanks.

1229. You know what your little scenario reminds me of?

1230. What?

1231. - Uh... - What's that?

1232. Groundhog Day.

1233. The movie, Groundhog Day?

1234. I don't know.

1235. With Bill Murray?

1236. Who's Bill Murray?

1237. Are you kidding me? Ghostbusters.

1238. Sorry.

1239. - I... - How...

1240. - I don't know. - How do you sleep at night?

1241. - You've never seen Groundhog Day? - No.

1242. You're up.

1243. I wasn't sure if you wanted to, uh, you know,

1244. sleep in or not.

1245. Oh, my...

1246. I'm kidding.

1247. It was, it was me.

1248. I just called your phone.

1249. What?

1250. It's Tuesday the 19th.

1251. You made it.

1252. Oh, my God.

1253. You are such a jerk!

1254. - I'm gonna kill you! - Hey. That's not...

1255. - What is wrong with you? - H-Hey, hey. Hey.

1256. That was not funny!

1257. You are such a punk!

1258. I hate you.

1259. - She's back? - Out.

1260. I'm not sleeping in my car again.

1261. It smells like Hot Pockets and feet.

1262. Get out.

1263. I just want clean underwear!

1264. Yeah.