1. Mount Everest is the most
famous, but not the highest...Copy !req
2. geographical point on this earth.Copy !req
3. Now, who can tell me what that is?Copy !req
4. Um, excuse me, Miss Whimsy?Copy !req
5. I can't see the board again.Copy !req
6. Tracy Turnblad.Copy !req
7. If I have to write you up...Copy !req
8. for inappropriate hair height
one more time...Copy !req
9. you will be removed to detention.Copy !req
10. Miss Wimsey, what am I supposed to do?Copy !req
11. Hair can't just hang there like a dead thing
on your cheeks.Copy !req
12. I mean, well... Uh—you know what I mean.Copy !req
13. I... Ahh.Copy !req
14. As I said, it is not Mount Everest.Copy !req
15. Now, next week we will be talking...Copy !req
16. about earthquakes and volcanoes.Copy !req
17. And as exciting as that might sound...Copy !req
18. we have to look back approximately
60 million years.Copy !req
19. Now, if you turn your pages...Copy !req
20. we are going to start
with the Ring of Fire.Copy !req
21. I want you to contemplate what causes...Copy !req
22. I want you to contemplate what causes...Copy !req
23. the separation of the two components.Copy !req
24. Penny, come on, hurry!Copy !req
25. Outta my way!Copy !req
26. Push! We're late.Copy !req
27. Ahh!Copy !req
28. - One minute to air.
- OK.Copy !req
29. 40 to go!Copy !req
30. Don't change that channel.Copy !req
31. Coming up next: The Corny Collins Show.Copy !req
32. 30 seconds.Copy !req
33. - Hiya, Dad!
- Goodbye!Copy !req
34. Hi.Copy !req
35. It's my daughter.Copy !req
36. 10 seconds. Places, everyone.Copy !req
37. Hurry up, Penny, we're missing it!Copy !req
38. Hurry up, Penny, we're missing it!Copy !req
39. My mom says I'm not
allowed to perspire!Copy !req
40. Hey there, teenage Baltimore!Copy !req
41. Don't change that
channel 'cause it's time...Copy !req
42. for The Corny Collins Show...Copy !req
43. Brought to you by Ultra Clutch hairspray.Copy !req
44. Whoo!Copy !req
45. Whoo!Copy !req
46. R—r—r—role call!Copy !req
47. I'm Amber.Copy !req
48. Brad.Copy !req
49. Tammy.Copy !req
50. Fender.Copy !req
51. - Brenda.
- Sketch.Copy !req
52. - Shelley.
- IQ.Copy !req
53. Lou Ann.Copy !req
54. - Joey.
- Mikey.Copy !req
55. - Vicki.
- Becky.Copy !req
56. - Bix.
- Jesse.Copy !req
57. - Darla.
- Paulie.Copy !req
58. - Noreen.
- Doreen.Copy !req
59. And I'm... Link.Copy !req
60. Aah!Copy !req
61. They must think my ears
are garbage cans.Copy !req
62. Would you turn that racket down?Copy !req
63. I'm tryin' to iron here.Copy !req
64. Ma, it's not racket.
It's The Corny Collins Show.Copy !req
65. Well, it's turning your brains into mud.Copy !req
66. Mrs. Turnblad, it's a new dance!Copy !req
67. The Stricken Chicken.Copy !req
68. Well, I can't hear myself think.Copy !req
69. How am I supposed to negotiate pleats?Copy !req
70. Edna?Copy !req
71. I'm in here, Prudy.Copy !req
72. What's that racket?Copy !req
73. Ohh, Tracy.Copy !req
74. Edna, is my laundry ready?Copy !req
75. Yep.Copy !req
76. That'll be $3.00, hon.Copy !req
77. That's pretty pricey
for a pair of petty pants.Copy !req
78. Well, I'm sorry, Prudy...Copy !req
79. but some-a your personal stains...Copy !req
80. required poundin' with a rock.Copy !req
81. I'm sure I don't know what you mean.Copy !req
82. You're letting her listen
to that race music again?Copy !req
83. My daughter spends every afternoon
at the Stamp and Coin Club.Copy !req
84. Oh, really? Well, your daughter hap—Copy !req
85. Ohh, ohh.Copy !req
86. Oh, what is that? The Wavin' Raven?Copy !req
87. It's a little twitchy.Copy !req
88. Oh, you wanna play Charades now.
All right.Copy !req
89. OK, go ahead.Copy !req
90. You.Copy !req
91. Penny.Copy !req
92. No. Ahh!Copy !req
93. Tracy Turnblad, are you tryin' to tell me...Copy !req
94. that—that Penny didn't get permission...Copy !req
95. from her mother to be here?Copy !req
96. What?Copy !req
97. Penny.Copy !req
98. You are banned from this house.Copy !req
99. You will never watch that show again!Copy !req
100. - Without that show I have nothing!
- Having nothing builds character!Copy !req
101. Toodle-oo, Edna!Copy !req
102. Give 'em a hand, folks.
All right, all right.Copy !req
103. And, once again,
that's the Stricken Chicken.Copy !req
104. We will be right back
for some more of that hot Detroit sound.Copy !req
105. And we're off!Copy !req
106. Corny.Copy !req
107. "Detroit sound"?Copy !req
108. What's that, the cries
of people being mugged?Copy !req
109. Aw, Velma, the kids dig
the rhythm and blues.Copy !req
110. Yeah, they're kids, Corny.Copy !req
111. That's why we have to steer
them in the white direction.Copy !req
112. Right direction?Copy !req
113. Didn't I say that?Copy !req
114. I'll do it.Copy !req
115. You try that again and there'll be stumps
where your feet should be.Copy !req
116. You got that? You little whor—Copy !req
117. Amber.Copy !req
118. holy moly. Baby.Copy !req
119. Good job dancing today.Copy !req
120. - It's time.
- Ah!Copy !req
121. Link.Copy !req
122. Amber.Copy !req
123. Ah!Copy !req
124. - Amber.
- Amber, Amber, Amber.Copy !req
125. Save your personal life
for the cameras, sweetie.Copy !req
126. Oh! Shiny.Copy !req
127. Tammy, Lou Ann,
you're gonna die.Copy !req
128. Speaking of cameras,
did you have a nice nap?Copy !req
129. If you'd do your job, my daughter wouldn't
have to fight to be visible.Copy !req
130. I gotta show some of the
other kids once in a while.Copy !req
131. You know, this is a small city.Copy !req
132. There aren't that many stations.Copy !req
133. This time next year
you could be wearing...Copy !req
134. an ill-fitting tux,
snapping bar mitzvah photos.Copy !req
135. I don't know.Copy !req
136. Show Link.Copy !req
137. This is nuts. She can't even dance.Copy !req
138. Plastic little spastic.Copy !req
139. Oh, Link. I can dance
so much better than her.Copy !req
140. Why don't you notice me at school?Copy !req
141. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
142. Hey, that was our very own Link Larkin
singin' It Takes Two.Copy !req
143. And I'm Motormouth Maybelle remindin'...Copy !req
144. the last Tuesday of this month's
your rhythm and blues day.Copy !req
145. That's right! Negro Day
will be comin' your way.Copy !req
146. So don't—uh... Uh... Over here.Copy !req
147. Thank you.Copy !req
148. So, catch all the croonin'
when y'all set and tune in.Copy !req
149. Thank you, Motormouth.
And now it's time to...Copy !req
150. Owner's coming. He'll call
my mother again, let's go.Copy !req
151. very own fun-lovin'...Copy !req
152. Hey!Copy !req
153. Come on up here, Brenda.Copy !req
154. What?Copy !req
155. Brenda will be taking a leave of absence
from the show.Copy !req
156. How long you gonna be gone, Brenda?Copy !req
157. Just nine months.Copy !req
158. Seems like we'll have an opening
here on the show for a girl...Copy !req
159. just as fun-lovin' but maybe
not quite as freewheelin'.Copy !req
160. Wanna be one-a
the nicest kids in town?Copy !req
161. Cut school tomorrow and come down
to station WYZT to audition.Copy !req
162. - No.
- But, Ma.Copy !req
163. Don't test me, Tracy Turnblad.Copy !req
164. My diet pill's wearin' off.Copy !req
165. But come on.Copy !req
166. No one is auditioning for
anything in this household.Copy !req
167. But why not? Why not?Copy !req
168. Because dancing is not your future.Copy !req
169. One day you're gonna own
Edna's Occidental Laundry.Copy !req
170. I don't wanna be a laundress.Copy !req
171. I wanna be famous!Copy !req
172. Look, if you wanna be famous...Copy !req
173. learn how to take blood
outta car upholstery.Copy !req
174. That's a skill you can take right to the bank.Copy !req
175. - Hey, hey. What's all this ruckus in here?
- Not a word.Copy !req
176. Daddy, tomorrow I'm auditioning
to dance on a TV show.Copy !req
177. - No, she is not.
- You are?Copy !req
178. First the hair, now this?Copy !req
179. But all the kids are battin' up
their hair now, hon.Copy !req
180. You're no help.Copy !req
181. It's "ratting," Daddy.Copy !req
182. And our first lady,
Jacqueline Kennedy, does it.Copy !req
183. I don't believe that.Copy !req
184. What do you mean,
you don't believe that?Copy !req
185. - I don't.
- How else would it look that way?Copy !req
186. I believe that it is naturally stiff.Copy !req
187. She doesn't understand anything.Copy !req
188. - Dancing on that show is my dream.
- I know.Copy !req
189. Just because she wouldn't know
a dream if it bit her on the nose.Copy !req
190. Well, I have information for you, Missy.Copy !req
191. I once had a dream that I owned
a coin-operated laundromat...Copy !req
192. and I came down from that cloud
real quickly, I'll tell you that.Copy !req
193. No!Copy !req
194. - Oh, Wilbur.
- Fine! I'm going to my room!Copy !req
195. She thinks I'm bein' mean
but I'm not. Those TV people...Copy !req
196. they don't pick people like Tracy,
or girls like us.Copy !req
197. They're gonna hurt her, Wilbur.Copy !req
198. I'll talk to her.Copy !req
199. Ooh.Copy !req
200. 'K. Talk to her.Copy !req
201. I'll talk to her.Copy !req
202. Don't you worry.Copy !req
203. OK.Copy !req
204. What?Copy !req
205. Tracy, this TV thing.Copy !req
206. You really want it?Copy !req
207. With all my heart.Copy !req
208. Then you go for it!Copy !req
209. This is America, babe.Copy !req
210. You gotta think big to be big.Copy !req
211. Big ain't the problem
in this family, Wilbur.Copy !req
212. You follow your dream.Copy !req
213. Mine came true, and now I have the most
precious thing in the world.Copy !req
214. The Taj Mahal of joke shops.Copy !req
215. Heh heh heh heh!Copy !req
216. Heh heh heh heh!Copy !req
217. Back step, cha-cha-cha.Copy !req
218. Back step, cha-cha-cha.Copy !req
219. Side step, front step.Copy !req
220. Back and turn.Copy !req
221. Front step, cha-cha-cha.Copy !req
222. Tammy, sharper.Copy !req
223. Side step, front step.Copy !req
224. Back, again.Copy !req
225. Oh, my God, Penny, there's Link.Copy !req
226. Link!Copy !req
227. Penny, pinch me!Copy !req
228. Ow!Copy !req
229. You told me to.Copy !req
230. I can't believe I'm really here auditioning.Copy !req
231. Side step, front step.Copy !req
232. I can't believe I'm really
here watching you audition.Copy !req
233. Front step, cha-cha-cha.Copy !req
234. Back step, cha-cha-cha.Copy !req
235. Side step, front step.Copy !req
236. Back and t—oh, Amber.
Look at this motley crew.Copy !req
237. Oh! This town sure has gone downhill...Copy !req
238. since I was crowned
Miss Baltimore Crabs.Copy !req
239. Ugh.Copy !req
240. Amber, that move is far too dirty.Copy !req
241. Mother, wake up from
that dream of yours.Copy !req
242. - This isn't 1930.
- Ha ha ha.Copy !req
243. Girls, go get 'em.Copy !req
244. Boys, let's rumba.Copy !req
245. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.Copy !req
246. Aah!Copy !req
247. Oh, good morning, ladies.Copy !req
248. Let's see what you got.Copy !req
249. Proceed.Copy !req
250. I sure would.Copy !req
251. I'm all for integration.Copy !req
252. It's the new frontier!Copy !req
253. Not in Baltimore, it isn't.Copy !req
254. And may I be frank?Copy !req
255. Uh, you may go.Copy !req
256. Um... Thank you?Copy !req
257. I think they secretly liked you.Copy !req
258. I think they secretly liked you.Copy !req
259. Cutting my class, Tracy Turnblad?Copy !req
260. I trust it was something really important.Copy !req
261. It should've been.Copy !req
262. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
263. Whoo!Copy !req
264. What you lookin' at?Copy !req
265. Nothing. Not you.Copy !req
266. Can I help you?Copy !req
267. That move's swish.Copy !req
268. Ya got that right.Copy !req
269. The man can dine me
on a diet of detention...Copy !req
270. so long as he don't starve
me of my tunes, baby.Copy !req
271. - Does that dance have a name?
- Oh, this?Copy !req
272. Call it the "Peyton Place After Midnight."Copy !req
273. I use it to attract, uh, the opposite sex.Copy !req
274. Wow.Copy !req
275. That is so groovy.Copy !req
276. You're really good.Copy !req
277. Why, thank you.Copy !req
278. So would it be kinda like this?Copy !req
279. You can't do that dance.Copy !req
280. Hello, now.Copy !req
281. Not bad for a white chick.Copy !req
282. - Hey, I know where I've seen you before.
- Where?Copy !req
283. On Corny's show on Negro Day.Copy !req
284. Negro Day's the best.Copy !req
285. I wish every day were Negro Day.Copy !req
286. At our house, it is.Copy !req
287. Hey. Show me another one?Copy !req
288. You wanna see another one.Copy !req
289. Well—well, here's a little
something signified to say...Copy !req
290. Hello, my name is Seaweed...Copy !req
291. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
292. J...Copy !req
293. Stubbs.Copy !req
294. What's yours, baby?Copy !req
295. I'm Tra-cy Turn-blad!Copy !req
296. You're gonna get it, white girl!Copy !req
297. Well, Tracy, you got it goin' on, girl.Copy !req
298. You one of us.Copy !req
299. You're joinin' this program already
in progress!Copy !req
300. Well, let's go.Copy !req
301. Whoa!Copy !req
302. No, I get who Caesar is.Copy !req
303. But what's the "Ideas of March"?Copy !req
304. I mean, how can
a month have an idea?Copy !req
305. Hold on.Copy !req
306. Come on.Copy !req
307. How you likin' detention now?Copy !req
308. I'm a bad, bad girl who
needs to be punished.Copy !req
309. Hey.Copy !req
310. You know, Corny's hosting
the hop tomorrow.Copy !req
311. If he saw you dancin' like that...Copy !req
312. he'd put you on the show.Copy !req
313. Mmm...Copy !req
314. Mmm...Copy !req
315. - See ya.
- Mm.Copy !req
316. Ah, whoa. Sorry, little darlin'.Copy !req
317. Hope I didn't dent your 'do.Copy !req
318. See y'all later.Copy !req
319. Hey, Trace. I was looking for you.Copy !req
320. Hey, Trace. I was looking for you.Copy !req
321. What?Copy !req
322. What? What are you talking about?Copy !req
323. Chime's not exactly how I'd put it.Copy !req
324. Go on. Get out there and show 'em.Copy !req
325. It's packed pretty tight.Copy !req
326. OK. I'll go in front of you and I'll push.Copy !req
327. Wait.Copy !req
328. Hey, Seaweed!Copy !req
329. Wanna do Peyton Place for Corny?Copy !req
330. Are you crazy? You gotta
dance with your crowd...Copy !req
331. and I gotta dance with mine.Copy !req
332. Why?Copy !req
333. It's just the way it is, Tracy.Copy !req
334. But it's your dance.Copy !req
335. Well, how 'bout you go
borrow it for a second.Copy !req
336. - Really?
- Go get it, girl.Copy !req
337. Whoo!Copy !req
338. All right! Yeah!Copy !req
339. Whoa!Copy !req
340. Link!Copy !req
341. Mr. and Mrs. Turnblad!Copy !req
342. Hey, look out!Copy !req
343. Ah!Copy !req
344. Mrs. Turnblad!Copy !req
345. Mr. Turnblad, come quick!Copy !req
346. - Me?
- Come on.Copy !req
347. Mrs. Turnblad! Come quick!Copy !req
348. Mrs. Turnblad! Come quick!Copy !req
349. You gotta see this!Copy !req
350. You gotta see this!Copy !req
351. Oh, I read all about it.Copy !req
352. It's a big fake Hollywood set.Copy !req
353. No, Mrs.--Copy !req
354. You think I'm gonna think
that he's really up there?Copy !req
355. It's not John Glenn, Mrs. Turnblad!Copy !req
356. Well, why are we watchin' this?Copy !req
357. Just watch.Copy !req
358. - Lou Ann!
- Joey!Copy !req
359. Mikey! Vicki! Becky!Copy !req
360. Bix! Jesse! Darla!Copy !req
361. - Paulie!
- Noreen!Copy !req
362. - Doreen!
- Link!Copy !req
363. And I'm Tracy!Copy !req
364. Aah!Copy !req
365. Oh! Oh, my!Copy !req
366. Go, Tracy!Copy !req
367. - Go, go, Tracy!
- Go, go, Tracy!Copy !req
368. Yeah! That was the dance of the week...Copy !req
369. Yeah! That was the dance of the week...Copy !req
370. I don't know what happened, Mr. Spritzer.Copy !req
371. Corny had some sort
of aneurysm or something...Copy !req
372. and... picked her.Copy !req
373. by our brand-new Council Member,
Miss Tracy Turnblad.Copy !req
374. So, Trace, come on, cozy up to old Corny
and tell us about yourself.Copy !req
375. Well, I watch The Corny Collins Show...Copy !req
376. and I do absolutely nothing else!Copy !req
377. Ooh! I sure like the way you talk.Copy !req
378. Oh, Wilbur, to think that
I almost stopped her...Copy !req
379. from reaching for the stars.Copy !req
380. And now here she
is on local daytime TV.Copy !req
381. She's gonna be a regular.Copy !req
382. Imagine, my little girl, regular at last.Copy !req
383. I also hope to be the first woman president
or a Rockette.Copy !req
384. And if you were president, Tracy...Copy !req
385. what would your first official act be?Copy !req
386. Hmm.Copy !req
387. I'd make every day Negro Day.Copy !req
388. I read you like tomorrow's
headlines, Tracy.Copy !req
389. What do you think, kids?Copy !req
390. You think we might
have a hot new candidate...Copy !req
391. for Miss Teenage Hairspray?Copy !req
392. That's only the dream of my life.Copy !req
393. But Miss Hairspray is mine.Copy !req
394. Uh, we're on the air.Copy !req
395. And your dream will be
comin' to you, sweetheart...Copy !req
396. Saturday, June 2nd,
right here on WYZT.Copy !req
397. You have to vote for a person, Corny,
not one of the Himalayas.Copy !req
398. Hi, Penny.Copy !req
399. Always the charmer, Amber.Copy !req
400. I want that chubby communist
girl off the show.Copy !req
401. Well, let me be the first
to toss the harpoon.Copy !req
402. She's a corrupting influence!Copy !req
403. I agree. We don't want our dancers
thrusting like savages!Copy !req
404. Hey, speak for yourself.Copy !req
405. Don't get flip with me.Copy !req
406. I'm not.Copy !req
407. Look, now I got some
new ideas for the show.Copy !req
408. First, we get rid-a Negro Day.Copy !req
409. Finally, some sense outta you.Copy !req
410. And we mix those kids in
with the rest-a the Council.Copy !req
411. Mix those kids?Copy !req
412. That's right, I said it.Copy !req
413. This is not a black-and-tan cocktail!Copy !req
414. Well, why couldn't it be?Copy !req
415. Velma, isn't this where
it's all headin' anyway?Copy !req
416. Now, you can fight it
or you can rock out to it.Copy !req
417. Maybe it is time for some fresh ideas...Copy !req
418. like—like a nice, fresh new host!Copy !req
419. Heh.Copy !req
420. Gee, Velma,
how do you fire Corny Collins...Copy !req
421. from The Corny Collins Show?Copy !req
422. They do it all the time on Lassie!Copy !req
423. Velma, you've let this go too far!Copy !req
424. Velma, you've let this go too far!Copy !req
425. Me?Copy !req
426. - Fix it!
- What?Copy !req
427. Fix it!Copy !req
428. Ohh!Copy !req
429. Tracyface whoopee cushion.Copy !req
430. Good choice.Copy !req
431. We got your Tracy souvenirs for days.Copy !req
432. Here, your signed photos.Copy !req
433. Tracy wigs.Copy !req
434. That big little girl is sending
my sales through the roof.Copy !req
435. More people are breathing
aerosol than oxygen!Copy !req
436. Do you think you could show us
some of those new dance moves?Copy !req
437. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
438. Ooh, pretty flowers.Copy !req
439. Tracy, wait up!Copy !req
440. Hi, I'm here to see Tracy Turnblad.Copy !req
441. Where's her write-up?Copy !req
442. She doesn't need a detention slip,
she's with me.Copy !req
443. Penny, this is Seaweed.Copy !req
444. Seaweed, this is Penny.Copy !req
445. Huh.Copy !req
446. That's the way you do it.Copy !req
447. And I'm your fabled
Miss Motormouth Maybelle...Copy !req
448. your DJ Du jour,
pitchin' rhythm your way.Copy !req
449. So, hey, better stay
and shimmy and sway.Copy !req
450. We'll be right back with more Negro Day.Copy !req
451. Brought to you by...Copy !req
452. Nap-a-Way,
for stubborn hair.Copy !req
453. Every kink will be gone in a blink.Copy !req
454. We're off.Copy !req
455. Girls, that was great.Copy !req
456. How dare you pick the same song?Copy !req
457. They wrote it.Copy !req
458. You watch yourself.Copy !req
459. You are one inch from being canceled.Copy !req
460. You know what your demographic is?Copy !req
461. Cleaning ladies and lawn jockeys.Copy !req
462. A foot in the door, that's all it is.Copy !req
463. One toe at a time.Copy !req
464. Eh.Copy !req
465. Hello?Copy !req
466. Is this the Turnblad residence?Copy !req
467. Yes.Copy !req
468. Mr. Pinky speakin'.Copy !req
469. Mr. Pinky from—from the dress shop?Copy !req
470. Uh-huh.Copy !req
471. I'd like Tracy
for our spokesgirl.Copy !req
472. You want Tracy to do what?Copy !req
473. Be our spokesgirl.Copy !req
474. Be a spokesgirl?Copy !req
475. I think she'd be perfect.
I'd like to meet her...Copy !req
476. and discuss the details.Copy !req
477. As soon as possible.Copy !req
478. OK, um, well, we'll have send
someone down to meet you.Copy !req
479. Tonight, if you can.Copy !req
480. So, um, oh, OK.
Bye-bye, Mr. Pinky.Copy !req
481. Bye-bye.Copy !req
482. The Mr. Pinky?Copy !req
483. From Mr. Pinky's hefty hideaway!Copy !req
484. A spokesgirl?Copy !req
485. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, tell me I get a free caftan, tell me!Copy !req
486. Oh, Tracy, I think perks like
caftans have to be negotiated.Copy !req
487. Maybe we should get you an agent.Copy !req
488. OK. You be my agent.Copy !req
489. What? Tracy Turnblad...Copy !req
490. has fame gone to your head
and made you wacky?Copy !req
491. Well, why not?Copy !req
492. Who's goin' to look out for me...Copy !req
493. better than my mom?Copy !req
494. Me, an agent?Copy !req
495. You see me hobnobbin'
and drinkin' rum and cokes...Copy !req
496. with all those hoi pollois?Copy !req
497. And out-negotiating them.Copy !req
498. Oh, you're crazy.Copy !req
499. Oh, Tracy, I haven't left
this house in—in years.Copy !req
500. Then isn't it time you did?Copy !req
501. Oh, no, Tracy.Copy !req
502. We'll have your father meet with him.Copy !req
503. I—I don't wanna be seen like this.Copy !req
504. Why not?Copy !req
505. I'll do it after my next diet.Copy !req
506. I'll do it after my next diet.Copy !req
507. I'll do it after my next diet.Copy !req
508. That's when I'll do it.Copy !req
509. Ya see, the neighbors haven't
seen me since I was a size 10.Copy !req
510. Don't make me do it, Tracy.Copy !req
511. Ma, it's changing out there.Copy !req
512. You'll like it.Copy !req
513. People who are different.Copy !req
514. Their time is coming.Copy !req
515. Ma, you did it!Copy !req
516. Oh, Tracy, I'm a little lightheaded.Copy !req
517. There's so much air out here.Copy !req
518. Can't we go someplace that's stuffy?Copy !req
519. No, Ma, you're on your way.Copy !req
520. Oh. They're so glamorous.Copy !req
521. Wow.Copy !req
522. It kicked.Copy !req
523. Let's toast to that.Copy !req
524. To a boy!Copy !req
525. Ohh.Copy !req
526. Ah!Copy !req
527. Oh!Copy !req
528. I thought we marked these down.Copy !req
529. What?Copy !req
530. Ohh.Copy !req
531. Thank you, Nadine.Copy !req
532. There's my shining star!Copy !req
533. Fantastic to meet you!Copy !req
534. I'm Mr. Pinky.Copy !req
535. It's so nice to meet you.Copy !req
536. Ha ha! Tracy, is this your older sister?Copy !req
537. Oh, my.Copy !req
538. Perhaps she'd like some
complimentary couture.Copy !req
539. Couture?Copy !req
540. Now, if you'll just sign here.Copy !req
541. Flattery will not distract
Miss Turnblad's agent...Copy !req
542. from reading the fine print.Copy !req
543. Her agent?Copy !req
544. Tracy, eat your donuts.Copy !req
545. Let's talk.Copy !req
546. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
547. All right, let's see here.Copy !req
548. All right. Now...Copy !req
549. Mmm.Copy !req
550. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. No!Copy !req
551. I want a non-exclusive contract.Copy !req
552. Extensions by mutual option.Copy !req
553. And I want you to absorb
my 15 percent commission.Copy !req
554. Not a dime over 10!Copy !req
555. Throw in a bustier?Copy !req
556. Hmm.Copy !req
557. 54 double D?Copy !req
558. Triple E.Copy !req
559. I hit the mother lode!Copy !req
560. Care for a Baby Ruth?
I got one right here.Copy !req
561. Mmm. Mmm.Copy !req
562. Wait till Dad sees you.Copy !req
563. Sees me?Copy !req
564. He never notices what I wear.Copy !req
565. In 20 years, he's never even said to me,
"nice muumuu" or nothin'.Copy !req
566. Now he will.Copy !req
567. Well, maybe, if he leaves
that shop for 5 minutes.Copy !req
568. I swear, I don't know
what goes on down there.Copy !req
569. Well.Copy !req
570. Mrs. Turnblad.Copy !req
571. I'd know whose mother
you were anywhere.Copy !req
572. Really?Copy !req
573. Hello, Amber.Copy !req
574. Hello, Tracy.Copy !req
575. Ma, this is Amber and Mrs. Von Tussle.Copy !req
576. Mrs. Von Tussle is the station's manager.Copy !req
577. Oh, the station manager.Copy !req
578. Oh! Oh, it was so nice-a
you let her on that show.Copy !req
579. Well, Tracy certainly has...
redefined our standards. Ha ha!Copy !req
580. That's for sure.Copy !req
581. Let me guess...Copy !req
582. brand-new dress?Copy !req
583. Oh, yes.Copy !req
584. Well, you'll stop traffic.Copy !req
585. Ha ha ha.Copy !req
586. It was nice meeting you. Tracy.Copy !req
587. Bye, Tracy.Copy !req
588. Ugh.Copy !req
589. Ma, don't listen to a word she says!Copy !req
590. I'm takin' this back.Copy !req
591. Don't you dare.Copy !req
592. - I am.
- Don't you dare.Copy !req
593. Don't you know why she hates us?Copy !req
594. She's afraid I'll beat Amber
for Miss Teenage Hairspray.Copy !req
595. Really?Copy !req
596. They can't put Tracy in special ed.Copy !req
597. They can't put Tracy in special ed.Copy !req
598. I won't have it.Copy !req
599. I mean, even if I have to tutor her myself...Copy !req
600. they cannot hold my friend back.Copy !req
601. - You're a saint.
- Mm.Copy !req
602. Oh, and it's totally not true about her
and the entire football team.Copy !req
603. I mean, please.Copy !req
604. Anybody can get grass stains
all over their back.Copy !req
605. Amber, stop it.Copy !req
606. I'm sick-a you doin' that.Copy !req
607. Just because she's a good dancer.Copy !req
608. Uh! I'm sorry.Copy !req
609. You think that she can dance?Copy !req
610. Well, maybe you'd rather
have her as your partner.Copy !req
611. You could get sponsored by Goodyear.Copy !req
612. Excuse me. What is
going on back there?Copy !req
613. Tracy, that's horrible.Copy !req
614. Mr. Flak does not have breasts.Copy !req
615. What? No. I would—I would never.Copy !req
616. What... Oh.Copy !req
617. Oh, and Mr. Larkin,
perhaps you'd like to share...Copy !req
618. with the rest of the class Patrick Henry's
immortal last words.Copy !req
619. "Kiss my ass"?Copy !req
620. You didn't have to do that, Link.Copy !req
621. Hey, no prob.Copy !req
622. Besides, looks like
a cool scene down here.Copy !req
623. Right.Copy !req
624. Hey, cool.Copy !req
625. Hey, Tracy!Copy !req
626. Not quite, huh?Copy !req
627. Ah, damn. Just when I was gettin' it.Copy !req
628. Listen, man,
you ain't gotta stop now.Copy !req
629. My mom's havin' a platter party tonight.Copy !req
630. Y'all wanna come check it out?Copy !req
631. Now?Copy !req
632. Would you mind if I, too, checked it out?Copy !req
633. I've never been to North Avenue before.Copy !req
634. Uh, well, would it be safe?Copy !req
635. You know, for us?Copy !req
636. Calm down, cracker boy.Copy !req
637. It's cool.Copy !req
638. Wow.Copy !req
639. Being invited places by colored people!Copy !req
640. It feels so hip!Copy !req
641. I'm glad y'all feel that way
'cause, uh, not many people do.Copy !req
642. - Y'all know what I'm sayin'?
- Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
643. Link!Copy !req
644. Link Larkin!Copy !req
645. - Whoo!
- Hey!Copy !req
646. Whoo!Copy !req
647. Come here, girl.Copy !req
648. This is my sister, Little Inez.Copy !req
649. Oh, I know Tracy Turnblad.Copy !req
650. Good for you, girl.
You got on the show.Copy !req
651. - Well, you better be next.
- Ya got that right.Copy !req
652. Oh, you know she is.
You better show 'em, girl.Copy !req
653. Yeah!Copy !req
654. - Go, baby!
- Whoo!Copy !req
655. - Go, baby!
- Whoo!Copy !req
656. It was horrible.Copy !req
657. Mom, he just danced on that bus...Copy !req
658. with that great white whale
and those Negroes.Copy !req
659. No, honey.Copy !req
660. Reeling him back in is
the easiest thing in the world.Copy !req
661. Remember, I control his career.Copy !req
662. Ohh.Copy !req
663. Now, don't worry.Copy !req
664. Now, don't worry.Copy !req
665. Mommy will take care of everything.Copy !req
666. Are you all hungry
for some good fun?Copy !req
667. Well, looks like y'all
took a step outta bounds.Copy !req
668. Now, who we got here?Copy !req
669. Mom, I want you to meet my new friends.Copy !req
670. This here is Link. Tracy Turnblad.Copy !req
671. This is just so Afro-tastic!Copy !req
672. And this young lady right here...Copy !req
673. is Penny Pingleton.Copy !req
674. I'm very pleased
and scared to be here.Copy !req
675. Oh, now, honey. We got more reason
to be scared on your street.Copy !req
676. Latoya, put that record down.Copy !req
677. You gonna scratch it.Copy !req
678. Can't you keep your little girl...Copy !req
679. Shall we dance?Copy !req
680. Come on.Copy !req
681. My name is Mike.Copy !req
682. Mike?Copy !req
683. Yes, Mike.Copy !req
684. Mike who?Copy !req
685. It's Mike.Copy !req
686. Anyway, ahem...Copy !req
687. I'm calling because
I have some information...Copy !req
688. about your daughter's whereabouts.Copy !req
689. - What?
- Right now, as we speak...Copy !req
690. your daughter has entered
a hotbed of moral...Copy !req
691. turpentine.Copy !req
692. Link, aren't you gonna get
in awful trouble for this?Copy !req
693. I'm not plannin' on tellin' my dad.Copy !req
694. No, I mean in trouble
with someone else.Copy !req
695. Hmm. Maybe.Copy !req
696. Maybe it's worth it.Copy !req
697. I think knowin' you's the start
of a pretty big adventure.Copy !req
698. Ahh!Copy !req
699. Tracy Edna Turnblad!Copy !req
700. Ooh, we get any more
white people in here...Copy !req
701. this gonna be a suburb.Copy !req
702. Do you know what I had to pay a cab...Copy !req
703. just to consider comin' down here?Copy !req
704. Oh, uh, Mom—Copy !req
705. No call. You just disappear.Copy !req
706. And all mashed up against a crooner?Copy !req
707. Um, Edna Turnblad, this is Link.Copy !req
708. Come on, we're goin'.Copy !req
709. And, Penny, go home before
your mother shoots you.Copy !req
710. Miss Edna, is it?Copy !req
711. Hi, I mean, you don't
have to rush off, you know.Copy !req
712. Well, I do. I left my iron on.Copy !req
713. Oh, your iron.Copy !req
714. Well, before you go...Copy !req
715. you sure you
wouldn't like to have...Copy !req
716. a little somethin' to eat?Copy !req
717. Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
718. Is that braised?Copy !req
719. Groovy, baby. Groovy.Copy !req
720. Hello?Copy !req
721. Hello?Copy !req
722. - Graah!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
723. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Ah! You got me.Copy !req
724. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
725. Welcome, mmm,
to the Hardy-Har Hut.Copy !req
726. If we can't put a smile on your face,
your skin's too tight.Copy !req
727. - Oh!
- Bop, bop.Copy !req
728. - Oh.
- I got somethin' for ya. Yeah.Copy !req
729. It's just in.Copy !req
730. You're gonna love it.Copy !req
731. Huh?Copy !req
732. Oh.Copy !req
733. Cigarette?Copy !req
734. Ha ha ha.Copy !req
735. Tempting but, uh... no, thanks.Copy !req
736. - Ha ha ha!
- Oh.Copy !req
737. Well, eh.Copy !req
738. What can I do you for?Copy !req
739. Something for the mister?Copy !req
740. Sadly, there is no mister at the moment.Copy !req
741. Beautiful woman like yourself?Copy !req
742. My husband...Copy !req
743. accidentally suffocated.Copy !req
744. You need a fella.Copy !req
745. I do. I do need a fella.Copy !req
746. And the way to a man's heart
is through his funny bone.Copy !req
747. Now here's an icebreaker for ya.Copy !req
748. Oh, Miss Maybelle,
you do throw a lovely party.Copy !req
749. But what are you celebratin'?Copy !req
750. Well, it's kind of an ending.Copy !req
751. But it deserved to go out with a bang.Copy !req
752. What ended?Copy !req
753. Negro Day.Copy !req
754. What?Copy !req
755. All right. Time y'all knew.Copy !req
756. Velma Von Tussle just told me
we have had our last show.Copy !req
757. No.Copy !req
758. Yeah, it seems our little show
was a nice little placeholder...Copy !req
759. - but it was time to get some ratings.
- Aww!Copy !req
760. I didn't wanna tell y'all up front.Copy !req
761. I just wanted to have a little fun tonight.Copy !req
762. But I practiced so hard.Copy !req
763. Now I'll never get a chance
to be on the show.Copy !req
764. Oh, you will be seen, baby.Copy !req
765. I promise.Copy !req
766. You can't have your own show?Copy !req
767. Fine, you'll come dance with us.Copy !req
768. Hmm. Honey.Copy !req
769. You been dozin' off Durin' history?Copy !req
770. Yes, always.Copy !req
771. Trace, black and whites ain't never danced
on TV together.Copy !req
772. Well, if we can't dance...Copy !req
773. maybe we should just march.Copy !req
774. Ooh, that'd get some big ol' ratin's.Copy !req
775. Better time slot, too.Copy !req
776. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
777. Like on the 11:00 news.Copy !req
778. Ahh!Copy !req
779. What y'all say?Copy !req
780. Should we give this fine woman...Copy !req
781. all the ratings she deserves?Copy !req
782. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
783. Hey, hey!Copy !req
784. Well, it is a school night...Copy !req
785. and I think we oughta call it a night.Copy !req
786. Tell you what.
We meet up at the church Friday, 4:00...Copy !req
787. and we will march on WYZT.Copy !req
788. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
789. Yeah!Copy !req
790. Tracy, you can't protest, hon.Copy !req
791. I mean, these are lovely people...Copy !req
792. but if you protest, you'll be on lists.Copy !req
793. You'll be on files.Copy !req
794. J. Edgar Hoover'll be still wiretappin'...Copy !req
795. your cold, dead body in the grave.Copy !req
796. Oh, Mother.Copy !req
797. Link, we're going with them, right?Copy !req
798. Walk with me.Copy !req
799. You want your Belgian chocolate
animal droppings.Copy !req
800. Dot dot. This store's for you.Copy !req
801. - Oh! What a treasure trove.
- Huh?Copy !req
802. Come here, baby.Copy !req
803. Don't be sad.Copy !req
804. We gonna make it happen, OK?Copy !req
805. Can I go?Copy !req
806. Now, come on, now.Copy !req
807. I can't be worried about you out there.Copy !req
808. Trace...Copy !req
809. I been smilin' and dancin'
on this show for 3 years.Copy !req
810. Mrs. Von Tussle just promised...Copy !req
811. I could sing at the Miss Hairspray pageant.Copy !req
812. She's—she invited agents.Copy !req
813. That's my shot, Trace.Copy !req
814. I can't jeopardize that.Copy !req
815. But it's what's right.Copy !req
816. I'm sorry, Trace.Copy !req
817. I just think this adventure's...Copy !req
818. a little...Copy !req
819. too big for me.Copy !req
820. Oh, God. No, no, no.
That's not what I—Copy !req
821. I get it, Link. It's your shot.Copy !req
822. No, Trace, that's not what I—Copy !req
823. It's fine.Copy !req
824. Oh, hon.Copy !req
825. I should go.Copy !req
826. Give him time.Copy !req
827. He'll figure out he's crazy 'bout you.Copy !req
828. You have to say that,
you're my mother.Copy !req
829. Well, I know a little
somethin' about men.Copy !req
830. And, my personal favorite,
x-ray specs.Copy !req
831. You can see through anything.Copy !req
832. Skin, clothes, you name it.Copy !req
833. Now, take your father.Copy !req
834. And he's always downstairs
in that shop workin' late.Copy !req
835. Do I take it personal? No.Copy !req
836. Men always put their career first.Copy !req
837. Remember that.Copy !req
838. OK.Copy !req
839. I'm really tired, I'm gonna go to bed.Copy !req
840. All right, hon.Copy !req
841. Night.Copy !req
842. - I love you.
- I love you, too.Copy !req
843. I think I'm gonna go to bed, too.Copy !req
844. Oh, I'm so tired.Copy !req
845. You don't need those...Copy !req
846. to see what's under these clothes.Copy !req
847. There's a product that really works...Copy !req
848. 'cause these are phony
as a three dollar bill.Copy !req
849. Incredible!Copy !req
850. I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf...Copy !req
851. and you would remain completely obtuse.Copy !req
852. Obtuse.Copy !req
853. Obtuse.Copy !req
854. Yes, obtuse.Copy !req
855. I flunked geometry.Copy !req
856. Yeah, well—and biology too, no doubt!Copy !req
857. Yeah.Copy !req
858. Wait! How 'bout this?Copy !req
859. OK.Copy !req
860. You!Copy !req
861. You?Copy !req
862. Ohh!Copy !req
863. Edna.Copy !req
864. Your wife! You said she was out! Oh!
Wait a minute!Copy !req
865. Your wife! You said she was out! Oh!
Wait a minute!Copy !req
866. Hi, hon.Copy !req
867. Ma, you don't really believe
that he would do that.Copy !req
868. You are never setting foot
on that show again.Copy !req
869. You hear me?Copy !req
870. I heard you the first 400 times, Ma.Copy !req
871. - Hey.
- Huh.Copy !req
872. Oh.Copy !req
873. Daddy.Copy !req
874. It wasn't me.Copy !req
875. I had to improvise
a bed out of something.Copy !req
876. Whoopee cushions?Copy !req
877. That will play heck with my sciatica.Copy !req
878. Oop. That one was me.Copy !req
879. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
880. Daddy, are you OK?Copy !req
881. Ohh.Copy !req
882. Tracy, you know...Copy !req
883. these peepers have never
looked at another woman.Copy !req
884. This heart only beats for size 60.Copy !req
885. Daddy, you know what Velma wanted.Copy !req
886. She wanted me off the show.Copy !req
887. And I knew that,
but how could she go that far?Copy !req
888. Come here. Come here, little girl.Copy !req
889. Little girl.Copy !req
890. And then to just cancel
Negro Day like that.Copy !req
891. Just to make sure that
nobody who's different...Copy !req
892. or who's black or Chinese...Copy !req
893. or maybe who needs to lose a few pounds.Copy !req
894. What are you talking? Stop it.Copy !req
895. What are you talking?Copy !req
896. I think I've been in a bubble or something.Copy !req
897. Thinking that fairness
was just going to happen.Copy !req
898. It's not.Copy !req
899. I think people like me
are gonna have to get up...Copy !req
900. off their father's laps and go
out there and fight for it.Copy !req
901. Ahh. Your mother and I...Copy !req
902. We don't see too far
past our front door.Copy !req
903. But you... see all the way to Schenectady.Copy !req
904. So, if there's something
you need to stand up for...Copy !req
905. don't ya listen to old dogs like us.Copy !req
906. We need to learn some new tricks...Copy !req
907. from you.Copy !req
908. You don't need new tricks, Dad.Copy !req
909. You need Mom.Copy !req
910. She changed the locks.Copy !req
911. Oh.Copy !req
912. Good night, Daddy.Copy !req
913. Aw, wow.Copy !req
914. Come on, baby.Copy !req
915. Honey, took me 5 years...Copy !req
916. to figure out you were flirting.Copy !req
917. How could I ever?Copy !req
918. Well, she is very glamorous.Copy !req
919. Edna.Copy !req
920. Edna.Copy !req
921. She just makes me feel old.Copy !req
922. Nonsense.Copy !req
923. Doll!Copy !req
924. You're spry as a Slinky.Copy !req
925. I'm not talkin' to you.Copy !req
926. What?Copy !req
927. Thank you.Copy !req
928. Any time!Copy !req
929. What?Copy !req
930. Hey.Copy !req
931. Never.Copy !req
932. I love pig.Copy !req
933. Heh heh heh!Copy !req
934. Grrr!Copy !req
935. Oh, Wilbur.Copy !req
936. Tracy.Copy !req
937. Wake up, hon.Copy !req
938. Wake up. Everything's good again.Copy !req
939. Wilbur! Wilbur!Copy !req
940. Uhh!Copy !req
941. Seaweed, help pass
those signs out.Copy !req
942. Give her one.Copy !req
943. Hey, Jackie, we're over here.Copy !req
944. Aw, you
lookin' good, Gertrude.Copy !req
945. C'mon, y'all.
Here we go now.Copy !req
946. Tracy!Copy !req
947. You're gonna pay a heavy price.Copy !req
948. I know.Copy !req
949. You'll never dance on TV again.Copy !req
950. If I can't dance
with Seaweed and Little Inez...Copy !req
951. then I don't wanna dance on TV at all.Copy !req
952. I just want tomorrow to be better.Copy !req
953. Oh, yeah, amen!Copy !req
954. Oh, yeah, amen!Copy !req
955. Oh, yeah, amen!Copy !req
956. Amen, amen!Copy !req
957. That's right.Copy !req
958. Tracy, hon, you don't
know what you're doing.Copy !req
959. Yes, I do, Ma.Copy !req
960. Hello, Miss Maybelle.Copy !req
961. Well, good evening, Miss Edna.Copy !req
962. Nice-a you to join us.Copy !req
963. She's got a lovely turnout.Copy !req
964. Now I really think they
don't need you anymore.Copy !req
965. You come home with me.Copy !req
966. Oh.Copy !req
967. No, we are not sending a camera crew.Copy !req
968. They're protesting
our own station, dimwit.Copy !req
969. Why is Channel Five there?Copy !req
970. Well, of course they're all Negroes.Copy !req
971. And why would—?Copy !req
972. Ahh! Ohh.Copy !req
973. I know who would.Copy !req
974. Oh, I know exactly who would.Copy !req
975. 2, 4, 6, 8!Copy !req
976. TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
977. 2, 4, 6, 8! TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
978. 2, 4, 6, 8!Copy !req
979. Oh, my God, no!Copy !req
980. TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
981. - No!
- Ma, come on.Copy !req
982. The sound's not working.Copy !req
983. You knew there'd be police.Copy !req
984. - But I didn't know there'd be cameras.
- So?Copy !req
985. Oh, I cannot be seen on television
at this present weight.Copy !req
986. 2, 4, 6, 8!Copy !req
987. TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
988. 2, 4, 6, 8!Copy !req
989. TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
990. 2, 4, 6, 8!Copy !req
991. TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
992. Excuse me.Copy !req
993. Is there some reason
we can't pass by peacefully?Copy !req
994. I strongly suggest you
and your little friends...Copy !req
995. head back to where you come from.Copy !req
996. Hey, you don't have to be so rude.Copy !req
997. Tracy!Copy !req
998. It's all right, Tracy.
I can handle this.Copy !req
999. 'Scuse me. She was talking to you.Copy !req
1000. - Oh, Tracy!
- Oh!Copy !req
1001. Tracy, no.Copy !req
1002. You just assaulted a police officer, miss.Copy !req
1003. - No!
- I what?Copy !req
1004. Assaulted?Copy !req
1005. Enough! Hey!Copy !req
1006. All right, boys.Copy !req
1007. Let's take the whole lot in.Copy !req
1008. - No!
- Run, Tracy! Run!Copy !req
1009. 2, 4, 6, 8! TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
1010. 2, 4, 6, 8!
TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
1011. 2, 4, 6, 8! TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
1012. 2, 4, 6, 8!
TV's got to integrate!Copy !req
1013. And our cameras also
caught Tracy Turnblad...Copy !req
1014. the teenage TV personality
and rabble-rouser.Copy !req
1015. Miss Turnblad brutally
attacked a sergeant...Copy !req
1016. with a blunt instrument
before fleeing the scene...Copy !req
1017. You see? You see?Copy !req
1018. If I let you leave the house...Copy !req
1019. right now you'd be in prison
fighting whores for cigarettes.Copy !req
1020. That Tracy Turnblad always
was a bad influence.Copy !req
1021. Well, you are never, ever gonna see that
beehived harlot again.Copy !req
1022. OK, Mother. Excuse me.Copy !req
1023. Penny?Copy !req
1024. Pray for her.Copy !req
1025. She's gonna need it.Copy !req
1026. Tracy! Tracy!Copy !req
1027. She's not here, I told you.Copy !req
1028. Hon, she knows...Copy !req
1029. if the cops are lookin' for her...Copy !req
1030. this is the first place they'll come.Copy !req
1031. What this must-a put you through, Wilbur.Copy !req
1032. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1033. I'm not.Copy !req
1034. You're not?Copy !req
1035. I'm proud-a you.Copy !req
1036. You are?Copy !req
1037. Baby, somebody had to do somethin'.Copy !req
1038. 'Course, we may be eating beans
for the next 10 years.Copy !req
1039. Bail for 20's kind of pricey.Copy !req
1040. You bailed all those people out?Copy !req
1041. Ya upset with me?Copy !req
1042. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1043. Hon, it just seemed like the right thing.Copy !req
1044. Oh, Wilbur, it was the right thing.Copy !req
1045. Knights in armor
don't come any shinier than you.Copy !req
1046. But where's our little girl?Copy !req
1047. Are you OK, Trace?Copy !req
1048. Oh, you have no idea.Copy !req
1049. Come on.Copy !req
1050. Thank you so much.Copy !req
1051. You're such a great friend.Copy !req
1052. Thanks.Copy !req
1053. Penny, the cops are looking for me
everywhere.Copy !req
1054. You could go to jail for helping me.Copy !req
1055. Tracy, I'm already in jail. Come on.Copy !req
1056. Oh, no.Copy !req
1057. - What?
- Your hair deflated.Copy !req
1058. Oh, let it.Copy !req
1059. It was just a symbol
of my conformity to the man.Copy !req
1060. You are so tough.Copy !req
1061. So, what do ya think?Copy !req
1062. Maybe you could live down here.Copy !req
1063. I don't even know why we
have this room down here...Copy !req
1064. but there's food, water...Copy !req
1065. first aid kit, gas mask,
Russian-language books.Copy !req
1066. It's very well-insulated.Copy !req
1067. It won't be where you're going.Copy !req
1068. The police are on their way.Copy !req
1069. Mom, please don't send my best friend
to the big house.Copy !req
1070. Penny, hush.Copy !req
1071. You haven't heard the last
of me, Mrs. Pingleton.Copy !req
1072. Things need to change...Copy !req
1073. and I won't stop tryin' to change them.Copy !req
1074. I don't care how long it takes.Copy !req
1075. Good, you'll be waiting 20 to life.Copy !req
1076. Get the jump rope, Penny.Copy !req
1077. Mom, not the jump rope!Copy !req
1078. Don't you touch my canned tuna.Copy !req
1079. You wait till your father
gets out of prison.Copy !req
1080. You'll see more than a jump rope, Missy!Copy !req
1081. A massive manhunt is
underway for Miss Turnblad...Copy !req
1082. who bludgeoned sergeant and
decorated Korean war veteran...Copy !req
1083. Mike Morris with a crowbar,
shattering his jaw...Copy !req
1084. That is a lie.Copy !req
1085. They're talkin' about our baby, Wilbur.Copy !req
1086. They're tellin' lies.Copy !req
1087. Sergeant Morris is in critical condition.Copy !req
1088. This is such a Midol moment.Copy !req
1089. Wilbur, that—Oh! Maybe that's her.
Oh, that's her.Copy !req
1090. Is that you, Tracy?Copy !req
1091. Oh, Link. I thought you'd be Tracy.Copy !req
1092. Uh, no. I—I was just at home, uh...Copy !req
1093. practicing my new twist on the twist...Copy !req
1094. and I overheard it on the news.Copy !req
1095. I can't believe Tracy savagely bludgeoned
an Eagle Scout.Copy !req
1096. That's just not like her.Copy !req
1097. Well, it's not true, I was there.Copy !req
1098. He didn't even bleed.Copy !req
1099. I shoulda been there...Copy !req
1100. beside her.Copy !req
1101. I can't sleep, I can't eat.Copy !req
1102. You can't eat?Copy !req
1103. Well, come on in and worry with us.Copy !req
1104. I'll make you some pork.Copy !req
1105. Penny Lou Pingleton, you are absolutely...Copy !req
1106. positively, permanently punished.Copy !req
1107. You will live on a diet
of saltines and Tang...Copy !req
1108. and you will never leave
this room again.Copy !req
1109. Devil child! Devil child!Copy !req
1110. Seaweed. Shh, don't let her hear you.Copy !req
1111. Penny, what happened to you?Copy !req
1112. She's punishing me
for harboring a fugitive...Copy !req
1113. without her permission.Copy !req
1114. What are you doing?Copy !req
1115. I'm here to rescue the fair maiden, baby.Copy !req
1116. Oh, Seaweed, you do care.Copy !req
1117. I was afraid the colors of
our skin would keep us apart.Copy !req
1118. No. These knots might.Copy !req
1119. W—Was your mom in the navy?Copy !req
1120. Link.Copy !req
1121. Your pork is ready.Copy !req
1122. Your pork is ready.Copy !req
1123. Uh, Mama, I—Copy !req
1124. You tryin' to hide her here?Copy !req
1125. Uh.Copy !req
1126. Why you ain't think-a that before?Copy !req
1127. Everything she done for us.Copy !req
1128. Where your manners at, boy?Copy !req
1129. Ow! Well, I don't know.Copy !req
1130. And what about this one?Copy !req
1131. Seaweed's got a girlfriend.Copy !req
1132. Inez, shut up.Copy !req
1133. - You.
- Oh.Copy !req
1134. So this is love.Copy !req
1135. Well, love is a gift.Copy !req
1136. Lotta people don't remember that.Copy !req
1137. So you two better brace yourselves...Copy !req
1138. for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you...Copy !req
1139. from a never-ending parade of stupid.Copy !req
1140. So you met my mom?Copy !req
1141. Hello?Copy !req
1142. - Mom?
- Tracy, are you OK?Copy !req
1143. - Yes, I'm safe.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1144. - Mom, listen.
- Where are you?Copy !req
1145. - I need your help.
- What?Copy !req
1146. Tomorrow's the Miss
Teenage Hairspray pageant.Copy !req
1147. Tracy, you—Copy !req
1148. I need you to come down to the station.Copy !req
1149. Well—well, Tracy—Copy !req
1150. - Dress nice.
- What?Copy !req
1151. Penny will meet you out front.Copy !req
1152. Now let me talk to Dad.Copy !req
1153. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
1154. Turn your face this way.Copy !req
1155. The other way. Go.Copy !req
1156. Everybody,
please take your seats.Copy !req
1157. The Miss Teenage Hairspray
pageant is about to begin.Copy !req
1158. Oh, you've come on a very exciting day.Copy !req
1159. It's our first live show.Copy !req
1160. Oh! Bye Bye, Birdie.Copy !req
1161. Oh, my Amber is perfect for that.Copy !req
1162. She's the pretty little blonde. Ha ha!Copy !req
1163. And we're live in 5, 4, 3...Copy !req
1164. And we're live in 5, 4, 3...Copy !req
1165. And now, broadcast live
in front of a live studio audience...Copy !req
1166. for the first time from the certified...Copy !req
1167. up-to-code WYZT studio...Copy !req
1168. it's the Corny Collins Miss Hairspray
spectacular.Copy !req
1169. - He's Corny.
- He's Corny.Copy !req
1170. Brought to you by Ultra Clutch hairspray.Copy !req
1171. "And preserve our family
through our father." Hmm.Copy !req
1172. "Let us make our father drink
wine, and let us lie with him."Copy !req
1173. Link, the agents are here. Look.Copy !req
1174. Maybe they'll sign us together.Copy !req
1175. Well?Copy !req
1176. There's no sign of her.
We're on every door. She's not inside.Copy !req
1177. Doesn't mean she won't try.Copy !req
1178. Velma, I seriously doubt
this girl's gonna risk...Copy !req
1179. incarceration to win a pageant.Copy !req
1180. I risked communicable diseases.Copy !req
1181. She'll certainly risk jail.Copy !req
1182. Whoo!Copy !req
1183. Ah!Copy !req
1184. Hey, baby, you look like
you could use a stiff one.Copy !req
1185. And we are out.Copy !req
1186. Link, you sprayed it right in my face!Copy !req
1187. What'd I tell you about that?Copy !req
1188. Stop! You guys.Copy !req
1189. Uh, powder.Copy !req
1190. And we're back.Copy !req
1191. 5, 4.Copy !req
1192. Here?Copy !req
1193. 3.Copy !req
1194. And now for the talent
portion of our competition...Copy !req
1195. our Councilettes...Copy !req
1196. in their Miss Teenage Hairspray
official dance-off.Copy !req
1197. Uh!Copy !req
1198. First off, we have the sunny
pride of Highlandtown, Darla.Copy !req
1199. Hello, Darla.Copy !req
1200. Miss Teenage Hairspray.Copy !req
1201. Your vote is for?Copy !req
1202. This little girl could power...Copy !req
1203. all of greater downtown Baltimore...Copy !req
1204. with her energy—Lou Ann.Copy !req
1205. Who are you voting for?
Lou Ann?Copy !req
1206. Very good, thank you.Copy !req
1207. All right.Copy !req
1208. Ladies and gentlemen,
the almost too happy Tammy.Copy !req
1209. And thank you, Tammy.Copy !req
1210. Confirmed sighting.Copy !req
1211. What?Copy !req
1212. You three: outside, now.Copy !req
1213. We can't go out Th—Copy !req
1214. No, no. No buts. Out, out!Copy !req
1215. Out! Out, out, out, out!Copy !req
1216. Whatever you say, Mrs. Von Tussle.Copy !req
1217. Whoo!Copy !req
1218. Aw, she's too cute, isn't she?Copy !req
1219. Hold it right there, Tracy.Copy !req
1220. Looking for someone?Copy !req
1221. All right, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1222. - Ha.
- A what?Copy !req
1223. It was a diversion.Copy !req
1224. Oh, please, these people are
not capable of a diversion.Copy !req
1225. It's beyond their mental capacity.Copy !req
1226. I wouldn't be so sure, Velma.Copy !req
1227. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1228. What if she's already in the building?Copy !req
1229. What if she's been here for hours...Copy !req
1230. and you've locked yourselves out?Copy !req
1231. What?Copy !req
1232. - Check the doors!
- Let's go!Copy !req
1233. It's locked!Copy !req
1234. They're all locked!Copy !req
1235. And now a fast girl
who loves to slow dance...Copy !req
1236. our own smooth-as-silk Shelley.Copy !req
1237. Ohh!Copy !req
1238. Keep goin'. Keep goin'. That's it.Copy !req
1239. Come on.Copy !req
1240. Put your backs into it, men.Copy !req
1241. Put your backs into it this time.Copy !req
1242. Come on, one more time.
One more time.Copy !req
1243. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
1244. Here's our little dynamic
duo from Conkling Street.Copy !req
1245. Double your fun
with Noreen and Doreen.Copy !req
1246. What is with you people?Copy !req
1247. I mean, how hard is it
to beat down a door?Copy !req
1248. That hairspray battering ram was heavy.Copy !req
1249. Heavy?Copy !req
1250. How could they be heavy, they're...Copy !req
1251. hollow.Copy !req
1252. Move it.Copy !req
1253. Let's get 'em. Let's go.Copy !req
1254. And, of course...Copy !req
1255. our three-time
Miss Hairspray champion...Copy !req
1256. the ever-charming, Amber.Copy !req
1257. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1258. You carried her in!Copy !req
1259. Go!Copy !req
1260. Ow!Copy !req
1261. It's locked.Copy !req
1262. Open it!Copy !req
1263. Let's give
a final round of applause...Copy !req
1264. to our Miss Teenage
Hairspray contestants.Copy !req
1265. Hey.Copy !req
1266. All right, all right.Copy !req
1267. We are so close to announcing...Copy !req
1268. the new Miss Teenage Hairspray.Copy !req
1269. Look at that board.Copy !req
1270. What a nail-biter this one is turning into.Copy !req
1271. Ladies and gentlemen, the final tally.Copy !req
1272. It is my...Copy !req
1273. obligation...Copy !req
1274. to announce that Amber Von Tussle...Copy !req
1275. Is about to get out-danced.Copy !req
1276. Tracy Turnblad!Copy !req
1277. What!Copy !req
1278. This throne is mine!Copy !req
1279. Aah! Let me down!Copy !req
1280. They love you, Link.Copy !req
1281. Yeah?Copy !req
1282. Not for long.Copy !req
1283. Inez, come on!Copy !req
1284. Let's dance.Copy !req
1285. Little Miss Inez Stubbs!Copy !req
1286. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1287. Look at my baby go.Copy !req
1288. - Inez.
- Inez?Copy !req
1289. - Mm.
- Come on.Copy !req
1290. Oh! There you go!Copy !req
1291. Give her a hand, folks!Copy !req
1292. Little Miss Inez Stubbs!Copy !req
1293. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1294. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
1295. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
1296. Ahh!Copy !req
1297. Amen.Copy !req
1298. I am now a checkerboard chick.Copy !req
1299. Penny!Copy !req
1300. No!Copy !req
1301. Aah!Copy !req
1302. Mommy.Copy !req
1303. Ow.Copy !req
1304. Live television: there's nothin' like it.Copy !req
1305. Penny!Copy !req
1306. And now, it's the moment
you've all been craving for.Copy !req
1307. We have to wait till
they go to commercial.Copy !req
1308. As you know, we've kept the lines open up
to the last minute.Copy !req
1309. And those lines have been
burnin' up our switchboard.Copy !req
1310. Never in the history of this pageant...Copy !req
1311. has there been such a surge of late voting.Copy !req
1312. Baltimore, you've picked a winner.Copy !req
1313. And the new Miss Hairspray is...Copy !req
1314. - Inez Stubbs!
- What?Copy !req
1315. Inez, you done it! You did it!Copy !req
1316. How about that?Copy !req
1317. Yes!Copy !req
1318. Come on over here, Little Inez.Copy !req
1319. Go, babe!Copy !req
1320. Oh! Inez!Copy !req
1321. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1322. Ohh!Copy !req
1323. That's my baby!Copy !req
1324. That's my baby girl!Copy !req
1325. But... She's...Copy !req
1326. she's not even a candidate.Copy !req
1327. She just got a tidal wave
of calls, Velma.Copy !req
1328. But this is invalid.
This is impossible.Copy !req
1329. Well, anyone who dances
for it is eligible.Copy !req
1330. Rule 30, paragraph 5, asterisk,
down at the bottom. OK.Copy !req
1331. Well, this also makes you the lead dancer
on The Corny Collins Show.Copy !req
1332. Ladies and gentlemen,
The Corny Collins Show...Copy !req
1333. is now and forever officially integrated!Copy !req
1334. Oh, oh! Oh!Copy !req
1335. All right. Yeah.Copy !req
1336. Interracial dancing has broken out
at the WYZT stage.Copy !req
1337. Just look at the crowd's reaction.Copy !req
1338. Back to you, Steve.Copy !req
1339. Amber, stop it!Copy !req
1340. I lost, Mom.
Let's just deal with it.Copy !req
1341. No, you did not lose.Copy !req
1342. You cannot have lost...Copy !req
1343. because I switched the damn tallies.Copy !req
1344. Smile, Miss Crabmeat.Copy !req
1345. You're on Candid Camera.Copy !req
1346. That was a good shot, don't you think?Copy !req
1347. Not bad.Copy !req
1348. Ha ha ha! What are you doing?Copy !req
1349. Get that away from me!Copy !req
1350. Go to commercial!Copy !req
1351. Go!Copy !req
1352. Velma!Copy !req
1353. Velma!Copy !req
1354. Pack your desk.Copy !req
1355. You've tainted the name of Ultra Clutch.Copy !req
1356. Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
1357. How can you taint a cancerous
can-a chemicals?Copy !req
1358. You're fired!Copy !req
1359. I ca—I can't be fired.Copy !req
1360. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1361. Last chance
to join the dance, folks.Copy !req
1362. Everyone is welcome!Copy !req
1363. Wilbur.Copy !req
1364. Do it now, or forever wish you had.Copy !req
1365. Really?Copy !req
1366. Show 'em, baby.Copy !req
1367. Nobody can dance like you.Copy !req
1368. Whoa!Copy !req
1369. Oh! I love you!Copy !req
1370. You did great!Copy !req
1371. Corny, do something.Copy !req
1372. The show is turning to gumbo.Copy !req
1373. Not a chance, Velma.Copy !req
1374. This is the future.Copy !req
1375. Maybelle, let's go.Copy !req
1376. This is your time.Copy !req
1377. Yeah.Copy !req
1378. All right, Miss buttercup.Copy !req
1379. It's time to wrap this mutha up.Copy !req
1380. Be gone!Copy !req
1381. Yeah!Copy !req
1382. Stop!Copy !req
1383. Stop!Copy !req
1384. Don't!Copy !req
1385. No!Copy !req
1386. Please!Copy !req
1387. Show off.Copy !req
1388. Ooh, such a big, big girl!Copy !req