Hackers (1995)

1. Upstairs!

2. What's going on? What's the matter? Who are you?

3. - Come on, come on! Let's go! - Hey!

4. - Cover the back. - Dade! Dade!

5. Knock it down.

6. The defendant Dade Murphy,

7. who calls himself "Zero Cool,"

8. has repeatedly committed criminal acts

9. of a malicious nature.

10. This defendant possesses a superior intelligence

11. which he uses

12. to a destructive and antisocial end.

13. His computer virus crashed

14. 1,507 systems,

15. including Wall Street trading systems,

16. single-handedly causing a seven-point drop

17. in the New York stock market.

18. Dade Murphy, I hereby fine your family $45,000.

19. And sentence you to probation,

20. under which you are forbidden to own or operate a computer

21. or a touch-tone telephone

22. until the day of your 18th birthday.

23. Dade?

24. Yeah, Ma?

25. What are you doing?

26. I'm taking over a TV network.

27. Finish up, honey, and get to sleep.

28. And happy birthday.

29. Security. Norm. Norm speaking.

30. Norman, this is Mr. Eddie Vedder from accounting.

31. I just had a power surge here at home

32. that wiped out a file I was working on and...

33. Listen, I'm in big trouble. You know anything about computers?

34. Um...

35. Gee...

36. Right, well, my BLT drive on my computer

37. just went AWOL and

38. I got this big project due tomorrow for Mr. Kawasaki,

39. and if I don't get it in, he's gonna to ask me to commit hari-kari.

40. Uh...

41. Yeah, well, you know these Japanese management techniques.

42. Could you read me the number on the modem?

43. Um...

44. That's a little boxy thing, Norm, with switches on it.

45. Lets my computer talk to the one there.

46. 212

47. 555

48. 4240.

49. So-called American Indians, Latinos and Blacks

50. come from a genetically mediocre stock.

51. Yak, yak, yak.

52. Get a job.

53. Say I'm a...

54. You are about to experience the awe and mystery

55. which reaches from the inner mind to

56. - The Outer Limits. - Yes.

57. Hey. What?

58. Zero...

59. No, wait.

60. Is this the beginning of the end?

61. There is no time to wonder,

62. no time to say, "Why is it happening?

63. Why is it finally happening?"

64. Unbelievable. There is time only for...

65. A hacker.

66. Do we pray?

67. Or do we merely run now...

68. Yeah, okay, Acid Burn. That's enough.

69. Shit on me.

70. Morning.

71. You unpack your stuff yet?

72. Mmm.

73. Up all night again, huh?

74. Can this wait until both my eyes are open, please?

75. Can I cut the electricity to his room

76. so he'll sleep normal hours?

77. He's been playing with his computer all night for a solid week.

78. Well, yes, he could be playing with himself.

79. Mmm-hmm. Yes, I'll ask. Dade?

80. - You like girls, don't you? - Yeah.

81. I just haven't found one as charming as you yet.

82. You haven't been doing anything stupid, right, Dade?

83. Right, Dade?

84. Right, Mom.

85. And I'm still a virgin!

86. You hooked it up to the phone, didn't you?

87. Dade! Turn the shower off!

88. You screw up again, and you won't get into college!

89. I'm sorry we had to move in your senior year.

90. I didn't want to sell the house,

91. but I had to take this new job.

92. You know that.

93. You're going to love New York.

94. It's the city that never sleeps.

95. Excuse me.

96. Yo, chill, man. I'm talking to Venezuela.

97. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just looking for the Principal's office.

98. Sorry, I can't help you, kid.

99. Do you have your transfer forms?

100. It's a relatively straightforward question.

101. Do you speak English?

102. Sorry. You wanted...

103. I wanted transfer forms.

104. Thank you.

105. Are you coming?

106. The gym is through there,

107. and the cafeteria is through there.

108. Great.

109. Cool.

110. What's your name?

111. Kate. Kate Libby.

112. Here's your class.

113. My class.

114. You mean, I'm not in your class?

115. No, you're not in my class.

116. Give me time. Hey, you new?

117. Yeah.

118. Tell him about the pool, Kate.

119. Pool?

120. Yeah, there's an Olympic-sized swimming pool up on the roof.

121. Take the stairs over there.

122. Yeah!

123. Sure.

124. Thanks!

125. Hey! Hold the door!

126. No pool.

127. Oh, my God. He found the pool.

128. Now, I'm Mr. Simpson,

129. and I'm subbing for Miss Bay less who was arrested

130. at the anti-fur rally.

131. Now, I know some of you kids got computers at home,

132. but these are school property, people,

133. and I don't want to see any gum stuck to 'em.

134. Chapter one,

135. "Designing graphical interface."

136. So, what's your interest in Kate Libby, eh?

137. Academic? Purely sexual?

138. Homicidal.

139. What's up, man?

140. I'm the Phreak.

141. The Phantom Phreak?

142. The king of Nynex?

143. I've got it.

144. I know you play the game.

145. Phreak, Phreak, Phreak, Phreak, Phreak. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. I got...

146. Joey, Joey, Joey! What, what, what?

147. One more "dude" out of you and I'm gonna slap the shit out of you, okay?

148. Now, I try to save you from yourself,

149. but you got to stop letting your mama dress you, man.

150. You're hopeless.

151. Check it. I need a handle, man.

152. I mean, I don't have an identity until I have a handle.

153. You know, you're right about that.

154. Check it, Friday.

155. Look. All right. Wait, wait.

156. How about The Master of Disaster, huh?

157. You're hopeless, man, utterly hopeless.

158. Ultra Laser.

159. Dr. Doom!

160. We play Chinese software here.

161. Tell me, what'd you need? What'd you need?

162. Yeah, you got any Russian military?

163. any kind of format, any kind of disk, any bootleg.

164. Check this out, each and every one of you.

165. Compilation tape, my own making.

166. I call this the Greatest Zuke's Album

167. featuring artists like... Like, I got some Hendrix on there,

168. some Joplin, Mama Cass, Belushi,

169. all great artists that asphyxiated on their own vomit.

170. Can't get this in stores, man.

171. I made it, one of a kind.

172. All major transactions...

173. Please deposit $5 for the first minute.

174. Thank you. No, no, no, thank you.

175. That's a nice score for a girl.

176. Think you can do better?

177. I'll give it a shot.

178. Is this kid bothering you, Kate?

179. Sorry. Can I get some room here?

180. Yeah. Why don't you come up here?

181. He's good.

182. Well, it looks like I'm on top.

183. Congratulations.

184. No one's ever beat her before.

185. Just made an enemy for life.

186. Boy Meets World, let's go.

187. Who's that? Curtis.

188. And what's he do?

189. That's it. You're looking at it.

190. He just looks slick all day.

191. Joey!

192. What's up?

193. Oh, my God.

194. You put...

195. You're crazy!

196. Way cool!

197. You saw that?

198. What the hell is going on?

199. Pool on the roof must have a leak.

200. Man, oh, man, this is going to be good.

201. "God gave men brains larger than dogs,

202. so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."

203. Ruth Libby.

204. I'm not so sure your mother qualifies

205. as a significant author of the 20th century.

206. Her last book sold two million copies.

207. "Angel headed hipsters

208. burning for the ancient heavenly connection

209. to the starry dynamo in the machinery of the night."

210. It's Ginsberg.

211. Nice. Very nice.

212. He's not in this class.

213. I said, give me time.

214. He's not enrolled in his class.

215. Well, he's on my list.

216. "Of all the things I've lost,

217. I miss my mind the most"?

218. Ozzy Osborne.

219. You, what is your name?

220. Uh, Emmanuel Goldstein, sir.

221. You, however, are not on my list.

222. Whoa. This isn't wood shop class?

223. Out.

224. Class crashing. Come on.

225. Love you. We'll do lunch. Get out.

226. Bye.

227. Thank you. Thank you, sir.

228. How was school?

229. Hmm.

230. What did we learn in school today?

231. Revenge. Ah.

232. Did we meet somebody special?

233. No, no one special.

234. Okay. I got to get back to work. I'm gonna be home late.

235. Would you try and please fill these out?

236. Oh, don't worry. It's only the rest of your life.

237. Right.

238. Anything else? You want me to mow the lawn?

239. Oops. Forgot.

240. New York. No grass.

241. And unpack.

242. I'm in this computer, right?

243. I'm looking around and taking my time.

244. For four hours...

245. buy and sell my life story. FYI, man, right?

246. You can sit at home and do, like, absolutely nothing and...

247. And your name goes through, like, 17 computers a day.

248. 1984? Yeah, right, man. That's a typo.

249. Orwell's here now. He's living large.

250. We have no names, man, no names.

251. We are nameless.

252. Can I score a fry? Thanks.

253. Meet Cereal Killer.

254. As in Froot Loops.

255. But he does know things.

256. Anyway, anyway, guys, guys, listen, listen.

257. I'm in this computer, right? So I'm looking around...

258. You got those Crayola books? Oh, yeah.

259. Technicolor rainbow.

260. Yeah. Green one.

261. What is that? What is that? What is that? Let me see. What are these?

262. International UNIX environments.

263. Luscious orange.

264. Computer security criteria,

265. DOD standards.

266. The Pink-Shirt Book, guide to IBM PCs,

267. so called due to the nasty pink shirt

268. the guy wears on the cover. What's that?

269. - Devil Book, UNIX bible. - What's that?

270. Dragon Book, compiler design.

271. Oh, yeah?

272. What's that? The Red Book.

273. NSA trusted networks,

274. otherwise known as the ugly red book that won't fit on a shelf.

275. Anyway, anyway, GUYS, guys, guys, come on.

276. I'm in this computer, right?

277. So I'm looking around, I'm looking around, you know.

278. Throwing commands at it. I don't know where it is or what it does or anything.

279. It's like choice. It's just beautiful, okay?

280. Like, four hours, I'm just messing around in there.

281. Finally, I figure out

282. that it's a bank.

283. Right? Okay, wait. Okay. So it's a bank.

284. So this morning I look in the paper.

285. Some cash machine in, like, Bumsville, Idaho,

286. spits out $700 into the middle of the street.

287. That is kind of cool. That was me.

288. That was me. I did that.

289. And you did this from your house?

290. What are you, stoned or stupid?

291. You don't hack a bank across state lines from your house!

292. You'll get nailed by the FBI.

293. Where are your brains? In your ass?

294. Don't you know anything?

295. It's stupid, man. It's universally stupid.

296. You guys always think I should know everything

297. and you never tell me anything.

298. All right. Right? Right?

299. All right, what are the three most common used passwords?

300. "Love, secret" and "sex."

301. But not in that order, necessarily, right?

302. Yeah. But don't forget "God."

303. System operators love to use "God."

304. It's that whole male ego thing.

305. Look, you wanna be elite,

306. you got to do a righteous hack.

307. None of this accidental shit.

308. Yeah, you want a seriously righteous hack,

309. you score one of those Gibsons, man.

310. You know, supercomputers they use to, like, do physics

311. and look for oil and stuff?

312. Ain't no way, man. Security's too tight. The big iron?

313. Maybe, but if I were gonna hack some heavy metal,

314. I'd work my way back through some low security and try the back door.

315. Yeah, but oh, man,

316. wouldn't you just love to get one of those Gibsons, baby?

317. Yo, who ate all of my fries?

318. Joey!

319. What? No, no, no, no, no. I didn't touch your fries.

320. I mean, I did not touch your fries.

321. Cereal, man, you owe me a pack.

322. It was him, man.

323. You suck, dude. You need to lay off of that shit.

324. What're you doing? Why don't I hit you?

325. Yes! Home run, home run. Okay.

326. Okay, okay.

327. You and me, Lucy.

328. We're gonna show them, baby.

329. Ow!

330. Okay, okay.

331. Mr. Belford?

332. My name is The Plague.

333. Mr. The Plague, something weird's happening on the net.

334. As in what, you hapless techno-weenie?

335. The accounting subdirectory in the Gibson's working really hard.

336. We got one person online.

337. The work load is enough for, like, 10 users.

338. I think we got a hacker.

339. Okay, okay, we need proof that we were here.

340. All right...

341. Yeah. Garbage. Okay. Give me garbage.

342. Shit.

343. Never fear.

344. I is here.

345. I've narrowed the activity to terminal 23.

346. Let's echo 23, see what's up.

347. God wouldn't be up this late.

348. Shit.

349. Get me the switching control center.

350. I need to trace a call that's in progress.

351. Shit.

352. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, Mom.

353. Hold on one second.

354. Open the door, Joseph.

355. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

356. There you go.

357. Bed. Sleep.

358. Now.

359. Sweet dreams, Joe.

360. He's gone.

361. Did you get a trace?

362. Yeah, we got him.

363. Good.

364. Okay.

365. Nice place, huh?

366. You heard of a hacker called Acid Burn?

367. You know who he is?

368. No, don't know who he is.

369. Do you?

370. Nikon!

371. Lord Nikon, this is...

372. Crash Override.

373. Never heard of you. Done anything?

374. No.

375. Come on!

376. I hate this neighborhood.

377. What? Your mom buy you a 'puter for Christmas?

378. Does he know anything?

379. Sure, man. He's elite.

380. Come in.

381. Nikon, can I crash at your place tonight?

382. Again?

383. Yeah, sure.

384. Hackers penetrate and ravage

385. delicate, private and publicly-owned computer systems,

386. - infecting them with viruses... - Who are these guys'?

387. and stealing materials for their own ends.

388. There's Richard Gill. Your hacker enemy number one, man.

389. Thank you, Mr. Gill. You're a boner.

390. Yo. Showtime, showtime!

391. Hike!

392. What's going on?

393. Four, three, two, one...

394. Welcome to our show. Hack The Planet.

395. Hack the planet!

396. For those late-night hacks... Jolt Cola,

397. the soft drink of the elite hacker.

398. Who are these guys?

399. That's Razor and Blade, man.

400. Razor and Blade.

401. That's right. This is a pay phone.

402. Don't ask.

403. As you can see, this is just a simple micro cassette recorder.

404. Hook it up to the phone and drop in five bucks in quarters.

405. Record the tones that the coins make,

406. then hang up, and get your money back.

407. And never again pay for a service that would be dirt-cheap.

408. If it weren't run by a bunch of profiteering gluttons.

409. Remember, hacking is more than just a crime.

410. It's a survival trait.

411. Thank you! Thank you!

412. Thank you very much!

413. Joey, Joey. Thank you! Than"

414. Freeze!

415. What? What? What? Get out of there! Come on, get out!

416. What? Joey!

417. Get in there! Get in there!

418. Joey! What? What? What?

419. Sit down! Stay down there. Don't move.

420. Lucy!

421. Joey!

422. What do you think you're doing?

423. Joey!

424. How's it going, Ray? Looks good, sir.

425. We got an uncorrupted hard drive.

426. In English, please.

427. I didn't spend 10 years protecting the president

428. so I could finish my career feeling like an idiot.

429. I'm sorry, sir. We caught him by surprise,

430. so we don't think he had enough time to erase his computer files.

431. Good. Good man. All right, let's finish up here.

432. - Take him in for interrogation. - All right, sir.

433. Agent Gill, can you spare a moment of your time?

434. Why, of course, Jennifer.

435. Joey! Mom.

436. Just how dangerous are hackers?

437. Well, hackers penetrate and ravage

438. delicate, private and publicly-owned computer systems,

439. infecting them with viruses

440. and stealing sensitive materials for their own ends.

441. These people, they're terrorists.

442. - Joey. - Thank you, Mr. Gill.

443. Good morning, gentlemen. Morning.

444. Please be seated.

445. I see we're still dressing in the dark, Eugene.

446. Once again, don't call me Eugene.

447. Our recent unknown intruder

448. penetrated using a superuser account,

449. giving him access to our whole system.

450. Precisely what you're paid to prevent.

451. Someone didn't bother reading my carefully prepared memo

452. on commonly used passwords.

453. Now then, as I so meticulously pointed out,

454. the four most used passwords are

455. "love, sex,

456. "secret," and "God."

457. So would Your Holiness care to change her password?

458. A hacker planted the virus.

459. Virus?

460. Yesterday, the ballast program

461. for a supertanker training model

462. mistakenly thought the vessel was empty

463. and flooded its tanks.

464. Excuse me.

465. The little boat flipped over.

466. A virus planted within the Gibson computer system

467. claimed responsibility.

468. What, it left a note?

469. Unless $5 million are transferred

470. to the following numbered account in seven days,

471. I will capsize five tankers in the Ellingson fleet.

472. Is that... That is the virus,

473. Leonardo da Vinci.

474. The problem is we have 26 ships at sea

475. and we don't know which ones are infected.

476. Well, then, put the ships' ballast under manual control.

477. There's no such thing anymore, Duke.

478. These ships are totally computerized.

479. They rely on satellite navigation

480. which links them to our network and the virus

481. wherever they are in the world.

482. So what are we supposed to do?

483. Well, luckily you have a gifted and talented security officer.

484. I traced the hacker's call.

485. The Secret Service picked him up this morning.

486. I'll just search his files for the original virus code,

487. and then I can eliminate it.

488. Now look, now, we expect you to get onto this right away. Yeah?

489. Yeah. Well, how soon?

490. Well, we're working on it as fast as we can.

491. This is a very common occurrence in corporations as large as ours.

492. - You have nothing to worry about. - Yeah, right.

493. - Are you sure about that Mr. The Plague? - Yeah.

494. The Secret Service is helping us out 100%, okay?

495. Yeah. Okay.

496. We'll be in touch. Talk to you later.

497. What the hell was that all about?

498. I had to move fast.

499. The hacker copied my garbage file.

500. What?

501. I created Mr. Da Vinci so we could call in the Secret Service

502. so they'd arrest the hacker, seize his equipment,

503. things we can't do on our own.

504. I don't want to go to jail for this.

505. Relax.

506. Think about the $25 million.

507. But you've created a virus

508. that's gonna cause a worldwide ecological disaster,

509. just to arrest some hacker kid?

510. Basically, yeah. Mmm-hmm.

511. Jesus. You know, you're sick, Eugene. You...

512. I'll take care of this. All right, sir.

513. I can cancel it anytime.

514. I don't need any program code,

515. but it's the perfect cover to confiscate the disk

516. and find out how much of that garbage file's been copied.

517. Get it!

518. Why did I ever trust you?

519. Get the file.

520. Otherwise, you'll lose all your toys.

521. Did you find the program for the virus

522. on any of the disks we confiscated?

523. No.

524. He's either very smart or very stupid.

525. Then he stashed it somewhere,

526. or he has an accomplice.

527. We'll release him until his indictment,

528. keep tight surveillance and see if he leads us to your disk.

529. Unit three outside suspect Joey Pardella's apartment.

530. Nothing to report. Suspect still grounded.

531. By his mother.

532. Listen to this bullshit.

533. "This is our world now.

534. The world of the electron and the switch.

535. The beauty of the baud.

536. We exist without nationality, skin color or religious bias.

537. You wage wars, murder, cheat, lie to us

538. and try to make us believe it's for our own good,

539. yet we are the criminals.

540. Yes, I am a criminal.

541. My crime is that of curiosity.

542. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto."

543. Huh? Right? Manifesto?

544. "You may stop me, but you can't stop us all."

545. Now, that's cool.

546. Cool?

547. Yeah, cool. You think it's cool?

548. It's cool.

549. It's not cool. It's commie bullshit.

550. Back off! Hey! Back off!

551. Hey, hey, back off.

552. So, what do you think? Can I crash at your place tonight?

553. What is it with this guy?

554. His parents missed Woodstock,

555. and he's been making up for it since.

556. Hey, you hear about Joey's bust?

557. Yeah. Probably had something to do with that bank in Idaho.

558. You think he could hack a Gibson?

559. Did you talk to him? Nope.

560. His mom said he's grounded for his next three lifetimes.

561. He isn't to consort with his computer friends.

562. The Secret Service is really out to get him.

563. Hey, there's a big party tonight. You wanna go?

564. It's at Kate's.

565. Thought so.

566. Oh, yeah.

567. A little pelvis and booty.

568. A little pelvis and booty. House party.

569. Come on. Come on.

570. Let's go. Right away, huh?

571. What the hell are you doing?

572. Hague! Ha! Huh?

573. Plague!

574. Gill.

575. I think we got something.

576. Hard copy.

577. Dade Murphy.

578. Secret Service! Don't move!

579. Christ! What are you... Shut up!

580. What are you doing? Shut up!

581. Get off me! Shut your mouth!

582. God!

583. Just sit in the bed and keep your hands where we can see them.

584. The year was 1988,

585. and this nasty virus crashed 1,500 systems

586. in one day.

587. 1,507.

588. - Wow. - It got you seven years probation.

589. No computer couldn't even use a touch-tone phone.

590. Must have been hell, huh, Zero Cool?

591. A virus has been planted in the Ellingson Mineral computer system.

592. You were our prime suspect

593. till we trashed your stuff

594. and found no trace of it.

595. However, we've come to believe

596. that one Joey Pardella's involved in this Ellingson virus.

597. He or perhaps his accomplice has a disk

598. that Mr. Belford needs to disable that virus.

599. We want you to help us find it.

600. Gill.

601. Loser.

602. I can't believe you were only 11 when you wrote this.

603. It's quite an impressive virus.

604. Dade,

605. I know how you might feel about narcing on your friends,

606. but we're hackers.

607. For us, there's no such thing

608. as family and friends.

609. We're each our own country

610. with temporary allies and enemies.

611. I'd like to make a treaty with you.

612. I'm sorry. Who are you?

613. I'm the one who understands you.

614. Now, can we be allies?

615. Nah.

616. I don't play well with others.

617. Shit! Come on!

618. Watch which friends you do play with.

619. A record like yours could land you in jail,

620. get you kicked out of school.

621. No colleges would take you, no future.

622. Exiled from everyone

623. and everything you love.

624. I'll be in touch.

625. It's fine.

626. Oh, and, Dade,

627. try to stay out of trouble, okay?

628. Blow me.

629. Thank you.

630. What were you doing in the bathroom with Janice?

631. Her mom makes big bucks

632. writing self-help books for women.

633. Stuff like, Women Who Love Men Who Are Emotional Amoebae.

634. That explains a lot.

635. Hi. Hi.

636. Hit it, baby. Hit it, hit it, hit it.

637. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

638. Look at that. Cool.

639. Big man stepping in. Stepping in. Coming through.

640. Big man. Big boots.

641. You look good, girl.

642. I'll catch you later.

643. Yo, what's up, Nikon?

644. Hey, Phreak!

645. You in the house! Great, thanks, man.

646. Dade, man. You made it.

647. Yo, yo. Houston, we have liftoff.

648. 3:00. Check it.

649. Don't look right away. What's wrong with you?

650. Look at her, man. Look at that.

651. Whoa! Oh!

652. Lisa Blair, 26 East 7th Street,

653. apartment 16, 555-4817.

654. Boom! How did you know that?

655. I got a photographic memory.

656. It's a curse.

657. Lisa!

658. Hey, how do you know my name?

659. Oh, oh, oh, look at that pooper, man.

660. Spandex, it's a privilege, not a right.

661. Hi. My name is Vickie, and I'm an addict.

662. Hi. My name's Hank, and I'm an addict.

663. My name's Joey, but

664. I'm not an addict.

665. No, no. Really. Really.

666. Listen, listen. Look.

667. I got in trouble with my computer, right, okay?

668. My lawyer told the judge that I'm an addict,

669. but I'm not addicted to my computer.

670. No, really, really.

671. I'm not an addict. I'm not. I'm not.

672. Can I get some more coffee? Thank you.

673. Yo. Check this out, guy.

674. This is insanely great. It's got a 28.8 bps modem.

675. Yeah? Display?

676. Active matrix, man.

677. A million psychedelic colors.

678. Man, baby is sweet. Ooh!

679. I want it.

680. I want it to have my children, man.

681. Yeah, I bet it looks crispy in the dark.

682. Yo, hit the light.

683. Oh, wow!

684. Shit.

685. Come on. Yeah.

686. Was that her top?

687. One handed.

688. Difficulty rating?

689. Seven.

690. Wow!

691. Burn's wetware matches her software.

692. Burn? Shh!

693. What the...

694. What are you guys doing in here?

695. I'm sorry. We're sorry.

696. Just checking out your fly laptop.

697. It's hyped, you know.

698. You in the butter zone now, baby.

699. Huh?

700. Yeah, it is, isn't it?

701. I want to triple the RAM, all right?

702. That's right.

703. Ooh, leopard boy and the Decepticons.

704. Kate. Kate.

705. You're not going into that computer shit now, right?

706. One second.

707. Yeah.

708. Yeah. Right.

709. The sensitive type.

710. What is he doing in here?

711. Relax, Burn. He's my guest.

712. Burn. You're Acid Burn.

713. You booted me out of OTV?

714. What?

715. I'm Crash Override.

716. You're the moron that's been invading my turf?

717. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

718. Crash and Burn!

719. Murphy kid turn you down?

720. I disguised myself as an Alabama state trooper

721. and penetrated the FBI NCIC.

722. Pervert.

723. What are you talking about?

724. The FBI computer holds files on 20 million Americans.

725. I just hacked into it.

726. Congratulations.

727. From here, I got access to every piece of data

728. ever stored on Dade Murphy's parents.

729. His parents separated five years ago,

730. reconciled two years later,

731. filed for divorce last year, custody battle.

732. Boy chose to go with his mother.

733. So?

734. Mmm. So...

735. We get the mother,

736. we get the boy.

737. What the hell are you doing?

738. Ah, it's cool. I'm just looking.

739. It's too much machine for you.

740. Yeah?

741. I hope you don't screw like you type.

742. Has a killer refresh rate.

743. P6 chip.

744. Triple the speed of the Pentium.

745. Yeah. It's not just the chip.

746. It has a PCI bus,

747. but you knew that.

748. Indeed.

749. RISC architecture's going to change everything.

750. Yeah. RISC is good.

751. Yeah.

752. You sure this sweet machine's not going to waste?

753. Crash Override.

754. What was it?

755. "Mess with the best, die like the rest"?

756. Yeah.

757. Oh...

758. Are you challenging me?

759. Name your stakes.

760. If I win,

761. you become my slave.

762. Your slave?

763. You wish.

764. You'll do shit work. Scan, crack copyrights, whatever I want.

765. Deal. And if I win?

766. Make it my first-born.

767. Make it our first date.

768. You're not gonna win.

769. And you have to smile.

770. I don't do dates.

771. But I don't lose, either, so you're on.

772. So here's the deal. The chosen contest,

773. to hassle Secret Service Agent Richard Gill

774. and get one back for Joey.

775. Our decisions are final by a vote of two to one.

776. No appeals.

777. The duel will last until we declare a winner.

778. Use only the dial-ups, access codes and passwords

779. in your collection.

780. You can't ask for any help from us.

781. Talking to me?

782. Any questions? Yeah.

783. Who's gonna notify his next of kin?

784. Ooh.

785. Oh, thank heaven.

786. All right. He's in the personal ads.

787. "Disappointed white male cross-dresser

788. looking for discreet friend

789. to bring dreams to reality.

790. Leather, lace, and water sports.

791. Transvestites welcome."

792. I know where you can stick it.

793. I know where you can stick it.

794. I just want to lick your earlobes.

795. - I wanna lick your lips. - Oh!

796. - I wanna lick your toes. - Oh!

797. You gonna lick? You want to lick something?

798. Lick this.

799. That's why they call me stallion.

800. Oh, that's disgusting.

801. My heart is steaming for you and...

802. Ugh!

803. spank you... Oh! I'll spank your ass!

804. turn you over and make you...

805. Animal.

806. Hey! Ow! Hey! hey,

807. Do you know who I am?

808. Do you know who I am? Ow!

809. This is accounting, sir.

810. You inquired about an employee of ours,

811. Agent Richard Gill? Yes.

812. Our records indicate he's deceased.

813. I'm what?

814. Dead. Dead?

815. Yeah, like rigor mortis, ha be as corpus.

816. Very impressive.

817. Superhero-like, even.

818. Yeah. Whatever.

819. What's the score?

820. - Tie. - Oh, come on!

821. What? What?

822. Due to Mr. Gill's untimely demise and all,

823. guess you two'll have to improvise the next round.

824. Right.

825. I win,

826. you wear a dress on our date.

827. And if I win,

828. so do you.

829. Deal.

830. Oh...

831. Hmm, Dade.

832. I... I didn't know your size,

833. so I guessed.

834. You are man enough to stick with the deal, aren't you?

835. Thanks.

836. You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool?

837. Well, let me explain the new world order.

838. Governments and corporations need people like you

839. and me.

840. We are samurai,

841. the keyboard cowboys.

842. And all those other people out there who have no idea what's going on,

843. are the cattle.

844. I need your help, you need my help.

845. Let me help you earn your spurs.

846. Ah, think about it.

847. Enjoy the laptop, Cool.

848. Tell me where the disk is.

849. You look pitiful.

850. Okay, okay, you're not grounded anymore.

851. Yo, what's up?

852. Dude, dude, I gotta talk to you, man. Listen, listen, listen.

853. I copied a garbage file.

854. Big deal. A garbage file's got shit in it, Joey.

855. No. It's, like, hot or something. I don't know.

856. Joey, a garbage file holds miscellaneous data. Junk.

857. Bits of stuff that's been erased, man.

858. Look, dude, I copied it from Ellingson, okay?

859. They're asking me about it, all right?

860. Will you take a look for me?

861. Oh, shit, Joey, you got a tail.

862. Shit!

863. I am watching you.

864. Hmm?

865. Wake up. Mmm.

866. Ramon?

867. Wake up.

868. Vamonos. Time for school.

869. Come on.

870. Secret Service! Don't move!

871. Get 'em up! Get 'em up!

872. - Deja vu. - Ramon Sanchez, you're under arrest

873. under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986.

874. So what are you waiting for? Arrest me already!

875. You get one call.

876. Uno.

877. Understand?

878. Hello. Operator services.

879. Hello, operator? I'm having trouble dialing a number.

880. - What number please? - 555-4202.

881. Just one moment. Thank you.

882. Hello? Hey, it's me.

883. Phreak? I'm freakin'!

884. Joey wasn't making it up. He really hacked into Ellingson.

885. He gave me the disk with the file he copied, and now I'm in jail.

886. They're charging me with some serious shit.

887. And there's stuff I didn't even do,

888. like, get this, inserting some virus called da Vinci.

889. And they keep asking about you guys.

890. You think they're gonna bust us?

891. Yeah. You better figure out what's on that disk

892. 'cause we're being framed.

893. It's in that place where I put that thing that time.

894. Hi.

895. Now I see what all the fuss is about.

896. Hey, you have company.

897. This is a nice room. We need your help.

898. Do my ears deceive me?

899. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Truce, you guys.

900. Listen. We got a higher purpose here, right?

901. A wake-up call from the Nintendo generation.

902. We demand free access to data.

903. Well, it comes with some responsibility.

904. "When I was a child, I spake as a child,

905. I understood as a child, I thought as a child,

906. but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

907. What?

908. It's Corinthians 1,

909. chapter 13, verse 11. No, duh.

910. Come on.

911. Phreak and Joey are being framed.

912. We need your help to figure out what's on this disk.

913. I can't.

914. Everybody who touches that thing gets busted.

915. I can't afford to get arrested. I'm sorry.

916. Maybe I should just go to the bathroom or something.

917. What is it with you?

918. I know we've been playing games,

919. but we're supposed to be on the same side.

920. And we really need your help.

921. I really need your help.

922. I'm sorry. I can't.

923. And just hide it in case we get busted,

924. And just hide it in case we get busted,

925. so we have something to give our lawyers,

926. something that hasn't been tampered with? Can you do that?

927. Listen, you guys, help yourself to anything in the fridge.

928. Cereal has.

929. Thank you.

930. Okay, I'll copy it.

931. Okay, thank you.

932. The girl. The girl has the disk I need.

933. I told you. I don't play well with others.

934. Turn on your laptop.

935. Set it to receive a file.

936. Lauren Murphy is now a wanted felon

937. in the state of Washington.

938. Forgery, embezzlement, two drug convictions,

939. plus she jumped parole.

940. When she's arrested, she will not have a trial.

941. She will not pass "Go." She will go directly to jail.

942. Then I change this file back to the original,

943. and your mom disappears.

944. That's bullshit.

945. What can I tell you?

946. Computers never lie, kid.

947. Your mom will be arrested at work.

948. She'll be handcuffed and later strip-searched.

949. You lay a finger on her, and I'll kill you.

950. Kid, don't threaten me.

951. There are worse things than death and

952. I can do all of them.

953. Talk to me.

954. I got it. But, listen, Kate didn't know what's on it.

955. I mean, she came to me to figure it out.

956. She's not the one who planted the virus. You leave her alone.

957. Hey, don't worry, kid.

958. If she's innocent, she'll be fine.

959. Your mommy's safe now, okay?

960. Kate, listen.

961. Hold on.

962. - I have to tell you something. - Hold on a sec.

963. Look at this. It's so lean and clean.

964. - You know, it's like a hacker wrote it. - Mmm-hmm.

965. Come here. Look at this.

966. Man, this thing is tense.

967. Look. That's ill, man.

968. It's incomplete.

969. This'll take me forever and a day to figure out.

970. I'm gonna make some coffee.

971. Tag. You're in.

972. it isn't a virus. It's a worm.

973. What's this one eat?

974. It nibbles. You see all of this?

975. This is every financial transaction Ellingson conducts, yeah?

976. From million-dollar deals to the 10 bucks that some guy pays for gas.

977. The worm eats a few cents from each transaction.

978. No one's caught it because the money isn't really gone.

979. It's just data being shifted around.

980. Right. And when the worm's ready, it zips out with the money

981. and erases its tracks.

982. Joey got cut off before he got to that part.

983. Check it out. By this point, it's already running at what,

984. twice the speed as when it started?

985. Right. And at this rate, it ends its run in...

986. Two days.

987. Judging by this segment alone, man, it's already eaten about...

988. 21.8 million bucks, man.

989. Whoever wrote this

990. needs somebody to take the fall.

991. And that's Phreak and that's Joey and that's us.

992. We gotta get the rest of this file

993. so we can find out where the money's going before the worm disappears,

994. so we can find out who created it.

995. I know. I know who wrote it!

996. What? This Ellingson security creep.

997. I gave him a copy of the disk you gave me.

998. You what?

999. I didn't know what was on it.

1000. Oh, man!

1001. It's universally stupid, man!

1002. Yo, you an amateur, man.

1003. Why'd he come to you?

1004. I got a record.

1005. I was Zero Cool.

1006. Zero Cool?

1007. Crashed 1,507 systems in one day?

1008. Biggest crash in history.

1009. Front page New York Times, August 10, 1988.

1010. I thought you was Black, man.

1011. Yo, man, this is Zero Cool!

1012. Oh, shit!

1013. That's far out.

1014. This is Zero Cool, man!

1015. Ooh!

1016. Yo, that's great.

1017. There goes MIT.

1018. I'll make it up! Yeah? How?

1019. I'll hack the Gibson.

1020. Dude, they'll trace you like that, man.

1021. The cops are going to find you.

1022. They're gonna find you with a smoking gun.

1023. Fucked if I care man.

1024. Look, even if you had the password.

1025. It'll take you 10 minutes to get in,

1026. and you still gotta find the files, man.

1027. I mean the cops will have you in five minutes.

1028. Oh, wow, we are fried!

1029. Never send a boy to do a woman's job.

1030. With me, we can do it in seven.

1031. You both screw it. I help, we do it in six.

1032. Jesus, I gotta save all your asses.

1033. I help, we can do it in five minutes, man.

1034. Okay. Let's go shopping.

1035. Boom.

1036. You know, if I didn't live by a strict code of honor,

1037. I might take advantage of this situation.

1038. Erotically, as it were.

1039. All right, hold it right there!

1040. Shit!

1041. My subway defense system.

1042. She's way down there.

1043. Ta-da!

1044. Yo, brain-dead. The manual!

1045. Oops.

1046. Hey!

1047. Truck!

1048. Find it?

1049. Oh. Phone's all right.

1050. The problem must be somewhere else.

1051. They had a large chunk of the garbage file?

1052. How much do they know?

1053. Not everything, but enough to implicate us.

1054. You said the worm was untraceable.

1055. Yeah, to civilians.

1056. But they're hackers.

1057. But don't worry.

1058. All we have to do is launch the Da Vinci Virus,

1059. and then they'll all be put away.

1060. Launch the Da Vinci Virus?

1061. You can't do that.

1062. No one believes the guilty.

1063. Besides, by the time they realize the truth,

1064. we'll be long gone with all of our money.

1065. Yeah, right.

1066. Look, there is no right and wrong.

1067. There's only fun and boring.

1068. A 30-year prison sentence

1069. sounds pretty dull to me.

1070. Who do you prefer serves it?

1071. Us or them?

1072. Unless $5 million

1073. are transferred to the following numbered account

1074. in seven days,

1075. I will capsize five tankers in the Ellingson fleet.

1076. The virus goes off tomorrow morning at 10:30

1077. and those hackers tried to get into our system again.

1078. At this point I insist you take more strenuous action,

1079. or Ellingson Mineral will hold the Secret Service responsible.

1080. Get me arrest warrants on Kate Libby, alias Acid Burn,

1081. Emmanuel Goldstein, alias Cereal Killer,

1082. Dade Murphy, alias Crash Override,

1083. also known as Zero Cool

1084. and Paul Cook, alias Lord Nikon.

1085. We pick them up tomorrow morning at 9:00.

1086. - Snoop onto them... - As they'd snoop onto us.

1087. Yeah, it's Kate.

1088. Hey, Burn.

1089. We got a little problem here.

1090. All right. So what do we got?

1091. Well, we have 50 passwords,

1092. plus whatever Polaroid-head here got inside Ellingson.

1093. Well, I got a lot, all right?

1094. I don't know how many, but...

1095. My head hurts.

1096. Yo, everyone, check this out.

1097. Hey, what's a Da Vinci Virus? What?

1098. Check this out. It's a memo about how they're gonna deal

1099. with those oil spills that happened on the 14th.

1100. What oil spills?

1101. Whoa, whoa. Yo, brain-dead, today's the 13th.

1102. Well, this hasn't happened yet.

1103. Wait a minute. The 14th?

1104. That's the same day the worm ends its run.

1105. Da Vinci Virus...

1106. Didn't Phreak say that's what he's being charged with?

1107. Look. "infecting ballast programs of Ellingson tankers."

1108. They blame hackers!

1109. Damn!

1110. A worm and a virus? The plot thickens.

1111. Whoa, whoa. Where are you goin', huh?

1112. I got an idea.

1113. Look, we got a few hours, right, till we get arrested?

1114. So just stay low. I'm going to go get some help.

1115. I'll beep you, okay?

1116. Are you coming?

1117. May the force be with you, man.

1118. There they are!

1119. Razor and Blade? They're flakes!

1120. They're elite! Let's get 'em.

1121. You don't have the balls to be a man!

1122. This is once again the man who threw a party!

1123. I'm gonna do this!

1124. I lost them.

1125. Where were you?

1126. I don't like this.

1127. I definitely don't like this.

1128. What do you want?

1129. Um...

1130. We come in peace?

1131. We need your help, if you're up to it.

1132. She's buff. Ballsy

1133. Let's keep her.

1134. Waste the dude.

1135. A virus called Da Vinci will cause oil spills

1136. at 10:30 a.m. Eastern time tomorrow.

1137. It's somehow connected with the worm that's stealing the money.

1138. We need your help to overload the Gibson

1139. so we can kill the Da Vinci Virus

1140. and download the worm program.

1141. She's rabid, but cute.

1142. See, we're very busy.

1143. A TV network that wishes to remain nameless

1144. has expressed an interest in our show.

1145. Let's go, Kate.

1146. Wait.

1147. Nobody said no.

1148. But you are going to need

1149. more than just two media icons like us.

1150. You need an army.

1151. That's it. An electronic army!

1152. If I were us, I'd get on the Internet,

1153. send out a major distress signal.

1154. Hackers of the world, unite.

1155. How are you gonna take care of the cops?

1156. Yo, I'm blowin' up.

1157. It's Kate, Grand Central. Let's hit it!

1158. What are you doing? The light is green!

1159. Yo!

1160. You the man, baby!

1161. You the man!

1162. Hey, Joey, you made it.

1163. Yo! Joey!

1164. All right, listen up. Use your best viruses to buy us some time.

1165. We have to get into Plague's file and copy the worm.

1166. All right. That was a little tension breaker that had to be done, all right?

1167. Cereal. Yeah?

1168. Go fix the phones. Rogen

1169. Got another couple, man?

1170. Joey, take his place.

1171. - What, me? - Take his place, man. Do it.

1172. - You can do it. Just do it. - Cereal, we're counting on you.

1173. - Just do it. - Ready?

1174. Yeah.

1175. All right. Let's boot up.

1176. I'm shut down completely. I'm down.

1177. The green light's blinking like something's wrong.

1178. Viruses everywhere.

1179. What is it? What's wrong?

1180. Nothing. It's just a minor glitch.

1181. A minor glitch with you

1182. seems to turn into a major catastrophe.

1183. There's a new virus in the database.

1184. What's happening?

1185. It's replicating, eating up memory. What do I do?

1186. Type "cookie," you idiot.

1187. I'll head them off at the pass.

1188. We have a zero bug attacking all log-in and overlay files.

1189. Run an anti virus. Give me a systems display!

1190. Now we've lost sections 10 to 26.

1191. Nope, make that 10 to 40

1192. and one to six.

1193. Die dick-weeds!

1194. The rabbit is in the administration system.

1195. Send a flu shot.

1196. Rabbit? Flu shot? Someone talk to me.

1197. A rabbit replicates till it overloads a file,

1198. then it spreads like cancer.

1199. Cancer?

1200. It's the Gibson. It's finding us too fast.

1201. Man, there's too many garbage files. I need more time!

1202. They're at Grand Central Station, lower level.

1203. Don't screw up.

1204. Go, get out of here! Let's go!

1205. Everybody, let's move!

1206. Move it!

1207. Get the hell out of the way! Come on!

1208. Move it!

1209. Game's over.

1210. Last chance to get out of this without a prison sentence.

1211. You're not good enough to beat me,

1212. you little shit.

1213. Yeah, maybe I'm not.

1214. But we are, you asshole.

1215. Give it up.

1216. Three minutes to capsize.

1217. Just give it up.

1218. Are we fashionably late?

1219. Okay. Let's go!

1220. We have massive infection.

1221. Multiple GPI and FSI viruses.

1222. They're coming in from remote nodes.

1223. They're going for the kernel!

1224. Colonel who?

1225. The system command processor. It's the brain.

1226. Cancer, brain, brain, cancer.

1227. Belford, what's going on?

1228. In short, Duke, a shit storm.

1229. Move it! Go!

1230. Everybody move!

1231. Move! Move! Move!

1232. Get off the stairs!

1233. I found it!

1234. I found it!

1235. This is the end, my friend.

1236. Thank you for calling.

1237. Oh, shit! He got me.

1238. Joey's getting stupid busy.

1239. Out of my way!

1240. Joey, I need you to drop your virus,

1241. go after the worm. You're closest.

1242. Out of the way!

1243. It's root, slash, period, workspace,

1244. slash, period, garbage, period.

1245. Out of the way!

1246. Let's go! Out of the way!

1247. Out of the way!

1248. Get out of the way! Freeze!

1249. Come on!

1250. All right. Good job.

1251. Kill the Gibson.

1252. Roger that.

1253. Come on, you son of a bitch,

1254. is that all you got, huh?

1255. Come on! Let's see what else you can do!

1256. You talking to me? Huh?

1257. Are you nuts? Come at me!

1258. They're in the kernel.

1259. Help me!

1260. Tankers have stopped capsizing.

1261. Ballast tanks are emptying. Should be okay.

1262. Little piss-ant.

1263. Yes!

1264. We did it, man. We did it!

1265. Let's get out of here.

1266. Freeze!

1267. - Watch it, folks. Go on back. - Keep it moving.

1268. Come on. What are you waiting on? Let's get him in.

1269. They're trashing our rights, man!

1270. They're trashing the flow of data!

1271. They're trashing! Trashing!

1272. Trashing!

1273. Hack the planet!

1274. - Hack the planet! - Shut up and get in the car.

1275. Hack the planet! Hack the planet!

1276. Hello? We caught them.

1277. Good. Red-handed.

1278. You won't be having any more trouble from them.

1279. Me. All right? I did it.

1280. She knows shit about computers.

1281. She's just my girlfriend.

1282. I suggest you modify your attitude

1283. because you are floating and I'm about to flush your ass.

1284. You've got a Mrs. Murphy to see you, sir.

1285. Are you crazy? What're you doing?

1286. I'm trying to help you.

1287. Dade? What?

1288. Thanks for your help.

1289. Your son is in big trouble.

1290. He has violated his probation

1291. and he has engaged in criminal activity.

1292. My son happens to be a genius.

1293. He understands something happening today

1294. that you won't comprehend if you live to be 100.

1295. He would never use what he knows to harm a living soul.

1296. The news crew you requested is here.

1297. Oh, good. Because I have a few things to tell them.

1298. Your son is facing 30 felony counts

1299. in an ongoing investigation.

1300. You face possible arrest if you do that.

1301. Mister, I don't care if I face certain death.

1302. Mrs. Murphy stays right here.

1303. Wow, she's great.

1304. Yeah.

1305. and attacked the Ellingson's computer network.

1306. Is this the last we've seen of this type of high-tech espionage?

1307. Well, I'm afraid not.

1308. Hackers are a grave threat to the national security.

1309. This incident just proves, without a doubt,

1310. that we need increased funding...

1311. Hold on, we're getting interference.

1312. Hola, boys and girls.

1313. It is I, the Cereal Killer,

1314. making my first coast-to-coast

1315. worldwide global television appearance.

1316. Yes, that's right. I'm here to tell you about

1317. this heinous scheme hatched from within Ellingson Mineral.

1318. "But for what," you ask?

1319. World domination? Nay.

1320. Something far more tacky.

1321. A virus called Da Vinci that, when launched,

1322. would cause Ellingson Mineral tankers to capsize,

1323. was to be blamed on innocent hackers.

1324. But this virus was really the smoke screen, right?

1325. What could be so vitally important to protect

1326. that someone would create such a nasty,

1327. antisocial, very uncool virus program?

1328. But why? Could it be to cover the tracks of this worm program?

1329. A worm that was to steal 25 million bucks.

1330. The password for this hungry little sucker

1331. belongs to Margo Wallace...

1332. Oh, my God!

1333. head of public relations for Ellingson Mineral,

1334. and Eugene Belford, computer security officer.

1335. Son of a bitch!

1336. What's this?

1337. Is this the unnamed account in the Bahamas

1338. where the money was to be stashed?

1339. I think so.

1340. Unlucky!

1341. Yo, I kind of feel like God.

1342. Plague?

1343. Eugene?

1344. I don't believe that.

1345. I don't know how this happened.

1346. Comedy of errors.

1347. I don't even know how to work the VCR, let alone a computer!

1348. Get off! Look. Listen.

1349. I'll make a deal. Eugene Belford.

1350. I know where his mother is. I promise you.

1351. Get off of me. I need a lawyer!

1352. Thank you.

1353. Here you are, Mr. Babbage.

1354. Flight time to Tokyo should be about 14 hours today.

1355. Can I get you anything else?

1356. Just a pillow, please.

1357. Thank you.

1358. You're welcome.

1359. What's going on? Let go of me. Stewardess!

1360. I'll never fly this airline again!

1361. You look good in a dress.

1362. You would have looked better.

1363. Want to go for a swim?

1364. I can't believe they decided you won.

1365. They didn't.

1366. The guys felt it was the only way I'd get a date.

1367. Anyway-

1368. You're pretty good.

1369. You're elite.

1370. Yeah?

1371. You know, if you would've said so in the beginning,

1372. you would have saved yourself a whole lot of trouble.

1373. Beat that.

1374. You know...

1375. I've been having these really weird...

1376. Dreams?