1. Sweetheart.
Copy !req
2. Mmm?
Copy !req
3. Go over to the window right now
Copy !req
4. and open it as wide as you can.
Copy !req
5. Please let me sleep.
Copy !req
6. I think your
mother's here from Mexico,
Copy !req
7. and she needs to leave.
Copy !req
8. Open the window now.
Copy !req
9. Why don't you
open it, you lazy...
Copy !req
10. Somebody help!
Copy !req
11. Close your mouth!
Copy !req
12. No way. Can I ride him?
Copy !req
13. A deer!
Copy !req
14. Okay.
Copy !req
15. Daddy,
I left the front door open
Copy !req
16. in case any animals
wanted to come in.
Copy !req
17. You did, huh?
And one did.
Copy !req
18. Yeah.
Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
Copy !req
19. Oh, no, you did a nice thing,
sweetheart.
Copy !req
20. Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
Copy !req
21. Daddy, no!
Copy !req
22. No, no, I'm not
going to hit the deer.
Copy !req
23. I'm just going to massage his
head for a little bit with it.
Copy !req
24. Okay, come on, come on.
Copy !req
25. He's right here.
Copy !req
26. He's eating Bowser's food.
Copy !req
27. Shh.
Copy !req
28. Okay, he knows we're here now.
Copy !req
29. Stay. Stay.
Copy !req
30. What's he looking at?
Copy !req
31. Move your doll towards me.
Copy !req
32. And back to you.
Copy !req
33. Towards me.
Copy !req
34. Back to you.
Copy !req
35. Three times, fast.
Copy !req
36. Give me that thing.
Copy !req
37. Mr. Gigglesworth?
Copy !req
38. No, don't worry.
Give it to me.
Copy !req
39. Go on. It's okay.
It's okay.
Copy !req
40. Put it in my hand.
Copy !req
41. Roxanne, take them in there.
Copy !req
42. Over there.
Copy !req
43. Hey, dude.
You like this guy?
Copy !req
44. Huh?
Copy !req
45. You want to play with him?
Copy !req
46. All right, let's go
play in the other room.
Copy !req
47. Come on. Come on, man.
Copy !req
48. Slowly walk with me.
Copy !req
49. I said slowly.
Copy !req
50. No.
Copy !req
51. Ah! Ah!
Copy !req
52. Get out of the way!
Copy !req
53. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
54. Problem solved.
Copy !req
55. Mr. Gigglesworth!
Daddy, he's killing him!
Copy !req
56. A new problem begins.
Copy !req
57. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
58. Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
Copy !req
59. Easy.
Copy !req
60. Ew.
Copy !req
61. It is nice.
Copy !req
62. Thank you, all right.
Cool, yeah.
Copy !req
63. Yeah, come on.
Copy !req
64. 28?
Copy !req
65. Yes.
Copy !req
66. 35.
Copy !req
67. That's right again,
smarty-pants.
Copy !req
68. Hi, Dad.
Copy !req
69. Hey, Bean,
working on the math, huh?
Copy !req
70. Yep.
Copy !req
71. Mommy said if I get all
my math questions right,
Copy !req
72. I get to ride my bike to
school with Becky Feder.
Copy !req
73. Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
Copy !req
74. Seventy-nine.
Copy !req
75. Is he a little boy
or a computer?
Copy !req
76. 'Cause I can't figure it out.
Copy !req
77. Don't destroy his confidence.
Copy !req
78. Happy summer, everybody.
Copy !req
79. Whoa.
Copy !req
80. Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
Copy !req
81. I know you
bedazzled them yourself.
Copy !req
82. I'm just wondering
if they'll attract
Copy !req
83. too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
Copy !req
84. It's the last day of school,
Copy !req
85. and Mom says I'm
free to express myself.
Copy !req
86. Oh, building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
Copy !req
87. Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
Copy !req
88. Confidence.
Copy !req
89. Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
Copy !req
90. That's for sure.
Copy !req
91. Well, looks like a horse took
a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
Copy !req
92. You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
Copy !req
93. Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo
grenade go off in your diaper?
Copy !req
94. You gonna change it?
Copy !req
95. That's not my son,
that's your son.
Copy !req
96. Ah ha ha! Yesterday
was my diaper day.
Copy !req
97. Today he is all yours, and
it's gonna get nasty. Whoo!
Copy !req
98. Go, Ronnie.
Copy !req
99. - Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
Copy !req
100. He looks like Nicki Minaj
Copy !req
101. trying to shake her butt
implants back into place.
Copy !req
102. Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
Copy !req
103. Come on, Ronnie.
Copy !req
104. Go, Ronnie.
Copy !req
105. You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
Copy !req
106. Nah, just one repair job.
Copy !req
107. Very special.
Copy !req
108. All right, I'm going in.
Copy !req
109. What is...
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110. What is this?
Copy !req
111. A necklace?
Copy !req
112. Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
Copy !req
113. Wow, Dad, you remembered.
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114. Oh, yeah.
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115. Mom didn't.
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116. Oh! That's cold.
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117. I think I'm gonna
bust out of here.
Copy !req
118. So he gets off
the train and nobody's there?
Copy !req
119. Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
Copy !req
120. so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
Copy !req
121. Well, not to be mean,
Copy !req
122. but I'm not even
1,000% sure who you are.
Copy !req
123. I was up from Florida.
Copy !req
124. Right in
the middle of making out,
Copy !req
125. I got a really bad
case of the hiccups.
Copy !req
126. Hiccups McGee?
Copy !req
127. Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
Copy !req
128. And no offense,
but I'm gonna have to ask
Copy !req
129. for a DNA test, you know,
Copy !req
130. because you just never...
Copy !req
131. No need.
Copy !req
132. Later, Hiccups.
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133. You're him.
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134. Yeah, without the hat.
Copy !req
135. It's actually a good likeness.
Copy !req
136. How you doing, man?
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137. I'm your dad.
Copy !req
138. Nice to see you, Braden.
Copy !req
139. That's strike one.
Copy !req
140. Good news is, you get...
Copy !req
141. Unlimited amount of strikes.
Copy !req
142. Um...
Copy !req
143. How about I take you to school?
Copy !req
144. No school.
Copy !req
145. Summertime.
Oh.
Copy !req
146. Not yet. One more day.
I know, it's a drag.
Copy !req
147. Normally I'd let you just
blow it off and play hooky,
Copy !req
148. but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
Copy !req
149. so when I'm done,
Copy !req
150. I'll come pick you
up and we'll hang out.
Copy !req
151. I got you this, but...
Copy !req
152. Obviously you're,
like, 13, so I don't know,
Copy !req
153. but it's actually pretty nice
Copy !req
154. and cute, and you should
out the head off it, okay.
Copy !req
155. Well, let's get going.
Copy !req
156. Yo, yo,
yo, yo, don't forget this.
Copy !req
157. Is it a gift?
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158. No, it's
the Gigglesworth massacre.
Copy !req
159. I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
Copy !req
160. What?
Copy !req
161. Martha Stewart
couldn't fix this.
Copy !req
162. Come on.
Copy !req
163. Oh, but you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
Copy !req
164. That's why I've been thinking,
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165. we moved back
here to your hometown
Copy !req
166. so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
Copy !req
167. That's right.
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168. How would you
feel about expanding?
Copy !req
169. Having another kid?
Copy !req
170. Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Copy !req
171. Oh, but it's perfect
right now, you know?
Copy !req
172. If I buy one large pizza,
Greg gets two pieces,
Copy !req
173. Keith gets two, Becky gets
one, you get one, I get four.
Copy !req
174. It's kind of perfect, you know.
Copy !req
175. I don't want to have
to buy another pie.
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176. Why don't you go on a diet,
fat gordo éste?
Copy !req
177. Come on, I've had
a job since I'm 16.
Copy !req
178. It's the first time
I've got a free schedule.
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179. I'm just enjoying the fun.
Copy !req
180. Don't forget Becky's
ballet recital at 11:00.
Copy !req
181. I got to go to that?
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182. I mean, I get to
go to that? Great.
Copy !req
183. I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.
Copy !req
184. Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
Copy !req
185. I love you all!
Copy !req
186. Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom, bye.
Copy !req
187. Yeah, last day of school, Greg.
Copy !req
188. Last chance to ask
out Nancy Arbuckle.
Copy !req
189. Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
Copy !req
190. Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?
Copy !req
191. No, I'm conditioning my hair.
Copy !req
192. That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
Copy !req
193. That's not what
the deer told me.
Copy !req
194. That deer's a liar.
Copy !req
195. I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
Copy !req
196. What? Where'd you hear that?
Copy !req
197. Higgins.
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198. I should kill him.
Copy !req
199. He's too chicken
to ask her out, Dad,
Copy !req
200. 'cause she's
the hottest girl in school,
Copy !req
201. and Greg is fugly.
Copy !req
202. So what he's fugly? All the
guys in our family are fugly.
Copy !req
203. That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
Copy !req
204. Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
Copy !req
205. Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
Copy !req
206. Every guy in
school likes her, Dad.
Copy !req
207. And you'll be the guy
who ends up with her.
Copy !req
208. You know why? You're gonna
follow my three-step program.
Copy !req
209. Number one,
make the girl smile.
Copy !req
210. Number two, tell her
she has a nice smile.
Copy !req
211. Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
Copy !req
212. Why that night?
Copy !req
213. 'Cause it gives her less time to
think about how fugly you are.
Copy !req
214. 'Cause you are fugly.
Copy !req
215. That's the stupidest
thing I ever heard.
Copy !req
216. And Keithie's right... I'm too
chicken to even talk to her.
Copy !req
217. Hey, you're a Feder. Feders
ain't afraid of women, buddy.
Copy !req
218. That's not
the way I'm raising you.
Copy !req
219. Oh, by the way, Dad, did you ask
Mom if I can play football?
Copy !req
220. No, I was scared.
Copy !req
221. I'm afraid she's
gonna yell at me
Copy !req
222. in that accent that
no one understands.
Copy !req
223. Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
Copy !req
224. School starts at 8:15.
Copy !req
225. That means we
only have 25 minutes.
Copy !req
226. Daddy, you promise Mr. Gigglesworth
will be better by bedtime?
Copy !req
227. Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
Copy !req
228. Have the best last day, okay?
Okay.
Copy !req
229. Bye, guys.
Bye, Daddy.
Copy !req
230. Love you.
Copy !req
231. And you read
the street signs, okay?
Copy !req
232. Don't let Bean.
Copy !req
233. My God,
riding their bikes to school.
Copy !req
234. Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.
Copy !req
235. Yeah, 'cause thank God there's
no crazy people out here.
Copy !req
236. How you doing, Nick?
Copy !req
237. My wife's leaving
me after three weeks.
Copy !req
238. Three weeks?
That's not bad for you.
Copy !req
239. What happened?
Copy !req
240. She found me eating
a banana with my butt.
Copy !req
241. Ah. And she didn't like that?
Copy !req
242. Yeah,
she got really bummed out,
Copy !req
243. but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
Copy !req
244. Yeah, you...
Copy !req
245. You seem like you're a little
extra out of it today.
Copy !req
246. What's going on?
Copy !req
247. Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
Copy !req
248. I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
Copy !req
249. and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
Copy !req
250. But I don't feel better!
Copy !req
251. You feel worse!
Copy !req
252. Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
Copy !req
253. Finally got yourself a job.
Copy !req
254. Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io Iglesias back there.
Copy !req
255. Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
Copy !req
256. Oh! Thank you, Lenny.
Copy !req
257. Lenny remembered.
Isn't that sweet?
Copy !req
258. And I never got him pregnant.
Copy !req
259. She forgot?
Copy !req
260. Yeah, she forgot.
Copy !req
261. No.
Copy !req
262. I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free
card in the world.
Copy !req
263. I want one of those.
Copy !req
264. Oh, you ain't never get one
like this. Hey, honey,
Copy !req
265. I'm gonna take
a ride to work with Lenny.
Copy !req
266. Don't worry about
forgetting the 20th.
Copy !req
267. I'm sure you'll
remember the 30th.
Copy !req
268. I love you.
Copy !req
269. Yeah, sure you do...
Deep down.
Copy !req
270. That's not another
necklace in there, is it?
Copy !req
271. I'm gonna abuse this
get-out-of-jail-free card,
Copy !req
272. I'm telling you right now.
Copy !req
273. I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good
rug without taking off my boots.
Copy !req
274. Oh!
Copy !req
275. Or have a nice
non-diet soda with my dinner.
Copy !req
276. Not just one, either,
Copy !req
277. a whole damn pitcher.
Copy !req
278. Oh, so you're going full gangsta.
Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
279. But you know what
I'd really like to do?
Copy !req
280. Throw a "first
night of summer" party.
Copy !req
281. Yeah. You know, something
a little crazy.
Copy !req
282. Well,
it's been many, many years
Copy !req
283. since we've done
something crazy.
Copy !req
284. Just one problem, though.
Copy !req
285. My house isn't big enough.
Copy !req
286. But yours is.
Copy !req
287. Last party I had was senior
year in high school.
Copy !req
288. Yeah, that was, like,
the best night of my life.
Copy !req
289. We all hooked up with chicks.
Copy !req
290. Come on, why not do that again?
Copy !req
291. Because we already
have chicks and kids
Copy !req
292. and high
cholesterol now, so just...
Copy !req
293. It's time to move on. You want
to come over tonight with Dee,
Copy !req
294. that's fine... I think.
Copy !req
295. I got to ask my wife first.
Copy !req
296. Okay, gangsta.
Copy !req
297. Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
Copy !req
298. I made them.
Copy !req
299. You made them?
Copy !req
300. In a toilet?
Copy !req
301. That kid's like white Precious.
Copy !req
302. Get lost, Duffy.
Copy !req
303. Yeah, leave her alone.
Copy !req
304. Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
Copy !req
305. You got something to say to me?
Copy !req
306. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Copy !req
307. Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
Copy !req
308. Yes,
you in the camouflage jacket
Copy !req
309. and Mariah Carey hairdo.
Copy !req
310. Yeah,
just pop a squat, thank you.
Copy !req
311. You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
Copy !req
312. Leave me alone.
Copy !req
313. Beanbag with arms and legs,
Copy !req
314. seriously, take a seat,
Copy !req
315. or seats,
before someone gets hurt.
Copy !req
316. You're dead, man.
Copy !req
317. I'm gonna go get
some things done,
Copy !req
318. and then I'm gonna go to my
daughter's ballet recital,
Copy !req
319. so you're on your
own until lunchtime.
Copy !req
320. Oh, no worries.
No one will come in anyway.
Copy !req
321. Right.
Copy !req
322. Does Leonard
ever talk about me?
Copy !req
323. Leonard?
Copy !req
324. Your husband.
Copy !req
325. Oh, Lenny.
Copy !req
326. I probably should have told you
this before I started working here,
Copy !req
327. but he used to be my boyfriend.
Copy !req
328. Oh.
Copy !req
329. When did you guys go out?
Copy !req
330. Sixth grade.
Copy !req
331. This one time,
Copy !req
332. we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
Copy !req
333. I brought in a note
Copy !req
334. that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
Copy !req
335. I just felt weird
having a secret with you.
Copy !req
336. "Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
Copy !req
337. That's what I wrote.
Copy !req
338. "Barrette."
Copy !req
339. And that was his response.
Copy !req
340. Does it bother you
that I still wear it?
Copy !req
341. Oh, no, no, no,
I think it's sweet.
Copy !req
342. I think he still
has feelings for me.
Copy !req
343. I'm gonna go work out now.
Copy !req
344. Do you really think
that a tight, toned body
Copy !req
345. will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
Copy !req
346. I hope so. Bye.
Copy !req
347. You just messed with
the wrong girl, chica!
Copy !req
348. They spray-painted my baby.
Copy !req
349. Gee, and
everything's spelled right.
Copy !req
350. These can't be my students.
Copy !req
351. Oh!
Copy !req
352. Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
Copy !req
353. Hey,
guys, can you believe this?
Copy !req
354. Calendar turns to June,
Copy !req
355. my wonderful students,
they become animals.
Copy !req
356. Maybe they're just
mad that you keep going
Copy !req
357. to the babyGap to
buy your clothes.
Copy !req
358. Hey, Principal Tardio,
good morning.
Copy !req
359. Right to class, right to class.
Copy !req
360. How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
Copy !req
361. Remember,
today is only a half a day.
Copy !req
362. And a half a shirt, right?
What?
Copy !req
363. I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
Oh, okay.
Copy !req
364. Here he goes.
Copy !req
365. I'm excited about the summer,
too.
Copy !req
366. Hey, that's my laptop!
That's not waterproof!
Copy !req
367. Monkey boy, monkey boy.
Copy !req
368. Summer!
Copy !req
369. Monkey boy.
Copy !req
370. Summer!
Copy !req
371. Summer! Summer!
Copy !req
372. So, what do you think?
Copy !req
373. Do I take you straight to work?
Copy !req
374. I got one
appointment I got to get to
Copy !req
375. sometime between 8:00 a.m.
and 4:00 p.m.
Copy !req
376. Okay.
But she can wait.
Copy !req
377. Good. And look at this.
Copy !req
378. He's back at it again.
Copy !req
379. Why isn't he at work?
Copy !req
380. He's just...
This woman has a grip on him.
Copy !req
381. It's ridiculous.
It's gonna ruin his marriage.
Copy !req
382. Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
Copy !req
383. Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
Copy !req
384. Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
Copy !req
385. We sure do.
Copy !req
386. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
387. - Okay.
- Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
Copy !req
388. good to see you.
Copy !req
389. Nice school bus, Lenny.
Copy !req
390. Thank you. Have a great day.
Copy !req
391. Did Mommy make
the boo-boo go away?
Copy !req
392. Don't tell the wife.
Copy !req
393. What are you guys doing?
Copy !req
394. Get in.
Copy !req
395. Oh, hey, Nick.
Copy !req
396. Nice. Nice.
Copy !req
397. Let's hit it.
Copy !req
398. Watch this.
Copy !req
399. Oh!
Copy !req
400. Wow.
Copy !req
401. You got to respect that.
Copy !req
402. That was awesome.
Copy !req
403. What's Lenny's problem? They're
so cute when they're little.
Copy !req
404. I know. I miss it.
Copy !req
405. Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
Copy !req
406. You miss that? Really?
Copy !req
407. Stay. Stay.
Copy !req
408. Don't you growl at me.
Copy !req
409. Stay, baby, stay.
Copy !req
410. Excuse me.
Copy !req
411. Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
Copy !req
412. That's not my kid.
Copy !req
413. That's my lover,
and he's very gentle.
Copy !req
414. Kids don't belong in here.
Copy !req
415. That leash
better not trip me up.
Copy !req
416. Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
Copy !req
417. It's your big-ass, hairy man
feet that are gonna trip you up.
Copy !req
418. She was just
joking around, sir.
Copy !req
419. Cool it.
You're gonna get us killed.
Copy !req
420. I'm sorry.
I'm having the worst day.
Copy !req
421. Welcome to Squat Fitness,
ladies.
Copy !req
422. Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
Copy !req
423. I'm sorry.
It's only five till...
Copy !req
424. Yeah, so he asked me to lead
you in some warm-up exercises.
Copy !req
425. So, everybody, up on your feet,
Copy !req
426. and let's take a deep breath.
Copy !req
427. Good.
Copy !req
428. Deeper... Really
stretch out those lungs.
Copy !req
429. And now let's shimmy.
Copy !req
430. Shake
the shoulders back and forth.
Copy !req
431. Shake them.
Copy !req
432. Very good, very good.
Copy !req
433. Yeah, oh, yeah.
Copy !req
434. Now let's do some
jackhammer squats.
Copy !req
435. Right, put your hands in front
of you like this. Just relax.
Copy !req
436. And then squat up
and down but fast.
Copy !req
437. Faster, faster, there you go.
Copy !req
438. Really fast.
Copy !req
439. Faster, faster.
Copy !req
440. Too fast.
Do it a little slower.
Copy !req
441. Now, everybody turn,
Copy !req
442. face the back of the room,
bend over,
Copy !req
443. and reach for your toes.
Copy !req
444. Why do we have to turn around?
Copy !req
445. If you please.
Copy !req
446. And bend over as
low as you can go.
Copy !req
447. Now take the right hand and slap
it against the right cheek.
Copy !req
448. Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
Copy !req
449. Good, I want to hear that slap.
Copy !req
450. Oh, yes, this is wonderful.
Copy !req
451. Morning, ladies.
Copy !req
452. You started without me?
Copy !req
453. Yes, just like you asked me to.
Copy !req
454. Say it's true even if it isn't.
Copy !req
455. What?
Copy !req
456. Oh, you loved it!
You loved it!
Copy !req
457. Yeah, that's my boy.
Copy !req
458. All right.
Copy !req
459. You're all prostitutes!
Copy !req
460. Anyway. I'm Kyle,
Copy !req
461. and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
Copy !req
462. I wish they called
it something else,
Copy !req
463. but that's what
they told me to say.
Copy !req
464. Okay,
so, before we start for real,
Copy !req
465. any questions?
Copy !req
466. Yes.
Copy !req
467. Are you married?
Copy !req
468. No.
Copy !req
469. Nope, I'm... I'm single.
Copy !req
470. Um...
Yeah.
Copy !req
471. I forgot. You're so
gorgeous, my head is spinning.
Copy !req
472. I'm sorry. God.
Copy !req
473. Go ahead.
Copy !req
474. I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
Copy !req
475. The first part of
the question is,
Copy !req
476. "Did a scientist
make you in a lab?"
Copy !req
477. And the second part
of the question is,
Copy !req
478. "Can I stick my tongue down your
throat, please?"
Copy !req
479. All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, lam,
Copy !req
480. but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
Copy !req
481. Of course he is.
Copy !req
482. All of 'em.
That sucks!
Copy !req
483. What a waste!
Copy !req
484. Stay out of my bag, little man.
Copy !req
485. Why does she have this?
Copy !req
486. That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
Copy !req
487. Well, well, well,
Copy !req
488. if it isn't Hollywood
Copy !req
489. and the Squares.
Copy !req
490. Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
Copy !req
491. and apparently the hair on top of
your head didn't know it, either.
Copy !req
492. What?
Copy !req
493. Do me a favor, go like this.
Copy !req
494. I think I got
something in my teeth.
Copy !req
495. What?
You know,
Copy !req
496. next time, you should use that
Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
Copy !req
497. What?
Copy !req
498. Why is Higgins buying
Copy !req
499. O.J.'s knife right now?
Copy !req
500. You think you're tough?
Copy !req
501. Hey, Malcolm,
Copy !req
502. is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
Copy !req
503. I don't even get that.
Copy !req
504. What?
Copy !req
505. Oh, come on, let's cheer him up
Copy !req
506. Benny Hill-style.
Here we go.
Copy !req
507. Come on,
come on, come on, come on...
Copy !req
508. Does that make you feel better?
Copy !req
509. Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
Copy !req
510. Good, good. He's in school.
Copy !req
511. Kid's in school for one day?
Copy !req
512. I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
Copy !req
513. He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
Copy !req
514. So you're gonna buy
this to cut his head off?
Copy !req
515. No, I just want him to think
I'll cut his head off
Copy !req
516. so then he won't
cut my head off.
Copy !req
517. You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
Copy !req
518. May I suggest this?
Copy !req
519. Ahhh!
Copy !req
520. Sir?
Sir? Can you get off the bed?
Copy !req
521. It's wake-up time.
Copy !req
522. Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
Copy !req
523. Now, why is... Being mean?
Copy !req
524. I like sleeping over.
It's just you always yell.
Copy !req
525. You don't have to yell at me.
Copy !req
526. I love you.
Copy !req
527. I don't understand.
Copy !req
528. Clean-up, aisle nine.
Copy !req
529. Get out of me!
Copy !req
530. And bring a shovel.
Copy !req
531. So, my son Bumpty told me
Copy !req
532. he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
Copy !req
533. First of all, my daughter's never
been out on a date before,
Copy !req
534. and I'm sure she's not gonna start
off with some kid named Bumpty.
Copy !req
535. He is the only other
black kid in her grade.
Copy !req
536. Wait, you want her
to date a white guy?
Copy !req
537. Yeah, Farrakhan.
Copy !req
538. I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
Copy !req
539. than your little
bald-headed boy.
Copy !req
540. All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
Copy !req
541. 'cause I already
had the talk with him.
Copy !req
542. What talk?
Dating.
Copy !req
543. I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
Copy !req
544. You know, beep-beep.
Copy !req
545. What?
Copy !req
546. I should get some
pepper spray for my kid.
Copy !req
547. Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
Copy !req
548. and he refuses to fight back.
Copy !req
549. You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
Copy !req
550. Who?
You.
Copy !req
551. What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
Copy !req
552. Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
Copy !req
553. moved here from Texas?
Copy !req
554. He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
Copy !req
555. Tommy Cavanaugh
was a 'roid freak.
Copy !req
556. He had back zits
on his back zits.
Copy !req
557. Plus, he was
joking around with me.
Copy !req
558. If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
Copy !req
559. Hey, isn't that
Cavanaugh right there?
Copy !req
560. Where?
Copy !req
561. Gotcha.
Copy !req
562. That was really funny,
man, really funny.
Copy !req
563. Hey, you weren't
exactly Captain Courageous
Copy !req
564. when we were
growing up, now, were you?
Copy !req
565. Hey, I never backed
out of a fight, though.
Copy !req
566. Yeah, but did you ever jump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
Copy !req
567. Oh, that's right.
Copy !req
568. He always came up with a
lame excuse not to do it.
Copy !req
569. What are you talking about?
"Oh, I can't."
Copy !req
570. "I'm on my period.
It'll attract sharks."
Copy !req
571. Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
Copy !req
572. My mom did that jump when she was
pregnant with me.
Copy !req
573. There's a raft in there?
Copy !req
574. Whoa!
Copy !req
575. Who did that?
Copy !req
576. All right, little birds.
Find your nests, man.
Copy !req
577. Float down.
There we go, and we're in.
Copy !req
578. All right, guys,
Copy !req
579. normally we don't have exciting
news this late into the term,
Copy !req
580. but we have a new student joining
us today, Braden Higgins.
Copy !req
581. Hey, there's an empty
seat over there, man.
Copy !req
582. Why don't you go cop a squat?
Copy !req
583. Or go that way, man.
Copy !req
584. Take your own path.
Copy !req
585. No.
Copy !req
586. I sit here.
Copy !req
587. Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
Copy !req
588. Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
Copy !req
589. The best. Great, great man.
Copy !req
590. I want to smash his face.
Copy !req
591. Yeah, me, too.
Copy !req
592. Yeah, I hate that guy.
Copy !req
593. Screw him.
Copy !req
594. Yo, Charlotte,
hold up, hold up. Question...
Copy !req
595. How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
Copy !req
596. with a hardcore up-and-comer?
Copy !req
597. What does that mean?
Copy !req
598. I think he's asking you out.
Copy !req
599. He is?
Copy !req
600. You are?
Copy !req
601. I don't make stuff up.
Copy !req
602. Well, can Donna come?
Copy !req
603. Three's a crowd, McCloud.
Copy !req
604. No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
Copy !req
605. It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
Copy !req
606. Just you two.
Copy !req
607. All right. I mean,
Copy !req
608. I'd have to ask my parents,
Copy !req
609. but I think that would be okay.
Copy !req
610. Hey, Bumpty.
Copy !req
611. You think just because
it's the last day of school,
Copy !req
612. you can sit and
socialize the entire period?
Copy !req
613. I don't think about stuff
like that, Lady Shorts.
Copy !req
614. Well, can you think fast?
Copy !req
615. Ow!
Copy !req
616. Who wants to
watch me climb a rope?
Copy !req
617. Yeah!
Copy !req
618. Ugh.
Copy !req
619. Oh, you're the man!
Copy !req
620. Whoo!
Copy !req
621. Yo, he's got to put those
Easter eggs back in the basket.
Copy !req
622. Dang!
Copy !req
623. Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
Copy !req
624. Oh, I can't take it anymore!
Copy !req
625. I wish I never had you!
Copy !req
626. Oh! Stop it! Stop it!
Copy !req
627. See, that's why I
don't want four kids.
Copy !req
628. Yeah, people with four just
lose their minds. Yeah.
Copy !req
629. They're yelling,
they're screaming.
Copy !req
630. Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
Copy !req
631. Hold up. Hang on.
Copy !req
632. I got a burpsnart coming.
Uh-oh.
Copy !req
633. Ho ho!
Copy !req
634. Come on.
Copy !req
635. You got to teach
me how you do that.
Copy !req
636. A burpsnart? It's simple.
Yeah.
Copy !req
637. You just start with a burp,
Copy !req
638. then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
Copy !req
639. and that
triggers a fart, always.
Copy !req
640. What's up with this school bus?
Copy !req
641. Okay. I stole it.
Copy !req
642. What?
Put your hands in the air.
Copy !req
643. I heard you're having
a party tonight, Lenny.
Copy !req
644. What? I'm not
having a party.
Copy !req
645. Where did you hear that?
Copy !req
646. He's a cop.
He hears everything.
Copy !req
647. Oh, God.
Copy !req
648. Look, it's Magnum P.U.
Copy !req
649. Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
Copy !req
650. you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
Copy !req
651. The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
Copy !req
652. and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
Copy !req
653. This side of
the law is way better.
Copy !req
654. To serve and protect.
Got to love it.
Copy !req
655. Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
Copy !req
656. I didn't assault anybody. I
just choked out your brother.
Copy !req
657. Yeah, he deserves it.
He's crazy.
Copy !req
658. We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
Copy !req
659. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital?
Copy !req
660. At McDonough Elementary?
Copy !req
661. Yes.
Copy !req
662. Can I come?
Copy !req
663. Why?
Copy !req
664. Trust me.
Everybody's got to go.
Copy !req
665. We got five minutes. We're
never gonna make it there.
Copy !req
666. You'll get there on time,
Copy !req
667. 'cause we're gonna give you a
four-alarm presidential police escort.
Copy !req
668. Isn't that against the law?
Copy !req
669. I am the law!
Copy !req
670. What's happening?
Copy !req
671. Whoo!
Copy !req
672. Oh, my God!
What just happened?
Copy !req
673. Welcome, parents, to final
performance of school year,
Copy !req
674. our June-a-licious
Copy !req
675. Dance Spectacular!
Copy !req
676. Now, for this year,
Copy !req
677. we go throwing a few
Copy !req
678. hip-hop moves in there.
Copy !req
679. Like this.
Copy !req
680. Is fun to dance.
Copy !req
681. Let the show begin.
Copy !req
682. So nice of you to invite your
friends and the bus driver
Copy !req
683. and the police force to our
daughter's dance recital.
Copy !req
684. Yeah, huge ballet fans,
all of them.
Copy !req
685. - Ooh!
- Oh.
Copy !req
686. She's so cute.
Copy !req
687. So cute.
She's adorable, isn't she?
Copy !req
688. She is adorable.
Copy !req
689. Fantastic stuff.
Unbelievable.
Copy !req
690. Look at her go.
I am.
Copy !req
691. I'm looking at her.
Copy !req
692. I want to arrest her
for disturbing the peace.
Copy !req
693. In my pants.
Copy !req
694. I'm having a wonderful time.
Copy !req
695. She's got a solo?
Copy !req
696. What?
Copy !req
697. It's fine.
I just wish that you
Copy !req
698. would give me more
than eight hours notice
Copy !req
699. before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
Copy !req
700. It's not a party.
Get out of here.
Copy !req
701. It's a couple people coming by.
Come on.
Copy !req
702. How'd you like it?
Copy !req
703. You were great, honey.
Hey!
Copy !req
704. Where did you learn
to dance like that?
Copy !req
705. She moves like "Yagger," no?
Copy !req
706. Yes,
she does, she moves like...
Copy !req
707. Mick Yagger?
Is that what you were saying?
Copy !req
708. Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
Copy !req
709. Yes.
Copy !req
710. Cavanaugh.
Copy !req
711. Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
Copy !req
712. Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
Copy !req
713. He was my old steroid
that I grew up with.
Copy !req
714. This is my...
Copy !req
715. Wife, Roxanne.
Copy !req
716. Why are your
hands shaking, Daddy?
Copy !req
717. My hands are shaking?
Copy !req
718. Probably because I
Copy !req
719. had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
Copy !req
720. I heard you been running around
Copy !req
721. saying you could
take me in a fight.
Copy !req
722. You... I wouldn't say that.
Copy !req
723. Yeah, you did,
this morning in Kmart.
Copy !req
724. Kmart? Was I there?
Copy !req
725. I don't think I was there.
Copy !req
726. You know,
Copy !req
727. all I can
remember about this guy
Copy !req
728. is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
Copy !req
729. and him not doing
a single thing about it.
Copy !req
730. Yeah, we had a lot of good
times like that growing up.
Copy !req
731. Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
Copy !req
732. You don't stop talking, do you?
Copy !req
733. Honey,
we should be getting going.
Copy !req
734. Sure, baby.
Copy !req
735. I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
Copy !req
736. or I'm gonna have
to set you straight.
Copy !req
737. Sure, sure, sure.
Copy !req
738. I'll see you around.
Copy !req
739. Becky,
you be having great summer.
Copy !req
740. I was one inch away
Copy !req
741. from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
Copy !req
742. No, you weren't.
Copy !req
743. This is grown-up talk,
Copy !req
744. so butt out!
Copy !req
745. That's insane!
What did you say to him?
Copy !req
746. I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you
speak to me like that again"
Copy !req
747. "in front of my wife and kid, I will
brush your teeth with a brick."
Copy !req
748. No, you didn't.
You just yelled at me.
Copy !req
749. I don't yell at you!
Calm down.
Copy !req
750. No, I'm just saying.
Copy !req
751. You guys were in the bathroom.
Copy !req
752. Look who's here, everybody.
Copy !req
753. 20 VOSS waters, right?
Copy !req
754. That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
I don't know.
Copy !req
755. We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
Copy !req
756. As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
Copy !req
757. I know. I heard you
brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
Copy !req
758. and now Showbiz
Junior's got a job.
Copy !req
759. I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
Copy !req
760. It's a great
first job for a kid.
Copy !req
761. Or lifetime job.
Copy !req
762. Okay, what are we having?
Copy !req
763. Becky, what do you want, hon?
Copy !req
764. Can I have the soft
chocolate cup, please?
Copy !req
765. Here's a word you
probably never heard, no.
Copy !req
766. The machine's busted, princess.
Copy !req
767. Aw, bummer, it's broken?
Like all your dreams?
Copy !req
768. You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
Copy !req
769. What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
Copy !req
770. Uh, I went to DeVry for a year.
Copy !req
771. Oh, that's right.
Copy !req
772. I can fix anything with a plug.
Copy !req
773. Including your hair?
Copy !req
774. That's not true. I don't even
know how that got started.
Copy !req
775. That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
Copy !req
776. I'll walk you through it.
Copy !req
777. You just walk up, climb up the
machine, lean over the back.
Copy !req
778. Can't believe I'm
listening to this idiot.
Copy !req
779. Listen to the man.
Copy !req
780. You're gonna see
Copy !req
781. two pipes coming into the top.
Copy !req
782. Yes!
In between them,
Copy !req
783. there's gonna be
a silver button.
Copy !req
784. Hit it a little bit.
Copy !req
785. Push hard.
Copy !req
786. No. Hit it with your fist.
Copy !req
787. Yeah, just push the button.
Copy !req
788. I got it.
There we go!
Copy !req
789. I think we're
getting somewhere.
Copy !req
790. Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
Copy !req
791. Force it. That's it.
Copy !req
792. Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
Copy !req
793. What'd she say?
Copy !req
794. Nothing! Nothing!
Copy !req
795. Go! Just go!
Copy !req
796. Go, Dickie!
Copy !req
797. That's where ice
cream comes from?
Copy !req
798. And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
Copy !req
799. Froot Loop?
Copy !req
800. Ten months
Copy !req
801. of learning, growth
Copy !req
802. and, yes, hopefully,
Copy !req
803. a little bit of fun.
Copy !req
804. But the journey we began
together, in September,
Copy !req
805. does not end today.
Copy !req
806. For education is a process
Copy !req
807. that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
Copy !req
808. Please let me finish.
Return to your seats.
Copy !req
809. Damn you!
Copy !req
810. Every year, you do this to me!
Copy !req
811. And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!
Copy !req
812. How you doing, sophomore?
Copy !req
813. Not bad, sophomore.
Copy !req
814. Come here!
Copy !req
815. Hey, you're not a statue.
Copy !req
816. You're an ass-tue.
Copy !req
817. Doesn't even make any sense.
Copy !req
818. Shut up!
Copy !req
819. What? What? What?
Copy !req
820. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Copy !req
821. What's up, man?
Copy !req
822. Your dad picking you up?
Copy !req
823. Uh, I don't know.
Copy !req
824. I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
Copy !req
825. so it's on me.
Copy !req
826. Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
Copy !req
827. Nah, how about we
do something fun?
Copy !req
828. How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
Copy !req
829. "Keep out."
Copy !req
830. That just makes me
want to not keep out.
Copy !req
831. Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
Copy !req
832. They claim to be all squeaky
clean, but I think they were nuts.
Copy !req
833. College kids.
Copy !req
834. We better go.
Copy !req
835. No go.
Copy !req
836. Stay.
Copy !req
837. Whoo!
Copy !req
838. He's nuts.
Copy !req
839. Let's go.
Copy !req
840. Hey!
Copy !req
841. Where are you guys going?
Copy !req
842. Join the party.
Copy !req
843. Here. One and two.
Copy !req
844. Are you guys freshmen?
Copy !req
845. No. We're seniors.
Copy !req
846. We just became seniors,
like, 20 minutes ago.
Copy !req
847. Not high school seniors,
college seniors.
Copy !req
848. Wait a minute!
Copy !req
849. I remember you guys.
Copy !req
850. You're Scully.
Copy !req
851. You're Boomer.
Copy !req
852. Come here.
Copy !req
853. I love you guys so much.
Copy !req
854. I love you, too.
Copy !req
855. Girl, I love you more.
Copy !req
856. I'm gonna go.
Copy !req
857. Whoo! Body shots!
Copy !req
858. No go.
Copy !req
859. Stay.
Copy !req
860. Okay, okay. But what
about these beers, man?
Copy !req
861. If we don't drink them,
they'll be onto us,
Copy !req
862. and I'm not sure I'm
ready for beer yet.
Copy !req
863. Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
Copy !req
864. then act like we're drunk.
Copy !req
865. Okay. Good idea.
Copy !req
866. All right, let's go.
Copy !req
867. Summertime.
Copy !req
868. You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
Copy !req
869. Really?
Come on!
Copy !req
870. Come on.
Copy !req
871. It's a lifelong shame.
Copy !req
872. You're finally doing
Suicide 35. It's a big day.
Copy !req
873. What are you scared of, man?
Copy !req
874. You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
Copy !req
875. I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
Copy !req
876. But I'll do it right now.
Copy !req
877. Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
Copy !req
878. - Do it. Do it.
- Whoa.
Copy !req
879. But the thing is this,
I just...
Copy !req
880. late about 45 minutes ago.
Copy !req
881. What did you eat?
Copy !req
882. I had chicken chow mein.
Copy !req
883. Chicken chow mein? When did...
Copy !req
884. We were with you
the whole time!
Copy !req
885. Yeah. You didn't see it?
They had it at Kmart.
Copy !req
886. They have chicken chow...
Oh, get out of here.
Copy !req
887. It's good there. Yeah.
It's very good.
Copy !req
888. What do I hear right now?
Copy !req
889. Look at this.
Copy !req
890. Beers on ice.
Hot ladies everywhere.
Copy !req
891. This is how we used to do it.
Copy !req
892. This is howl
still do it, buddy.
Copy !req
893. He does still do it that way.
Copy !req
894. Well, you should stop.
Copy !req
895. This is Kappa
Eta Sigma property.
Copy !req
896. So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
Copy !req
897. and get back to your trailer homes.
Copy !req
898. Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
Copy !req
899. I think it's...
Copy !req
900. I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
Copy !req
901. Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
Copy !req
902. so you can calm
down a little bit.
Copy !req
903. I'm sure it was the bomb!
Copy !req
904. Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
Copy !req
905. But it's the 21st century now.
Copy !req
906. And Thicky-Thick
and the Flabby Bunch
Copy !req
907. should never take
their shirts off again.
Copy !req
908. That hurts.
Copy !req
909. Okay,
I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
Copy !req
910. Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
Copy !req
911. Boom! That just happened.
Copy !req
912. I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
Copy !req
913. since Eminem played Duke.
Copy !req
914. There it goes. And then...
Copy !req
915. Boom!
Copy !req
916. That just happened.
How was that?
Copy !req
917. At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
Copy !req
918. Long handjob.
That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Copy !req
919. I think it's over.
Copy !req
920. Hey, hey, hey!
What, what, what?
Copy !req
921. What?
Copy !req
922. And a little extra right there.
Copy !req
923. Hey, fellows,
that was a good handshake.
Copy !req
924. We got a good one, too.
It goes like this.
Copy !req
925. Okay, here we go.
Oh, how you doing, sir?
Copy !req
926. Nice to see you.
Very good, sir.
Copy !req
927. Beautiful day.
Yeah, at least we're not stuck
Copy !req
928. in some crap town like this, hanging
up drywall for the rest of our lives.
Copy !req
929. Bay-oom!
Copy !req
930. Hanging drywall?
First of all,
Copy !req
931. I'll have you know
that I own pretty much
Copy !req
932. the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
Copy !req
933. This guy works for
the cable company.
Copy !req
934. Free cable for life.
Copy !req
935. What?
Copy !req
936. Over here, you know Higgins?
Copy !req
937. That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
Copy !req
938. Oh, so he was highballing
you with the drywall.
Copy !req
939. Boom!
Copy !req
940. This just got real.
Copy !req
941. Real stupid? What happened?
Copy !req
942. Something's real.
Copy !req
943. Yeah...
Copy !req
944. Dougie, Dougie...
Copy !req
945. Are you guys as wasted as us?
Copy !req
946. Hells, yeah!
All the time!
Copy !req
947. Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue
your Klan meeting in a minute.
Copy !req
948. He's just gonna jump off of
here, and then we'll leave.
Copy !req
949. I can't permit that.
Copy !req
950. I can't permit it!
Copy !req
951. Can't permit it.
Copy !req
952. You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
Copy !req
953. Look at my hands, huh?
Copy !req
954. They're shaking, I'm so mad.
Copy !req
955. Yeah,
look, my brother's shaking.
Copy !req
956. Wha... Wha...
Whoa, whoa.
Copy !req
957. That was a cool move.
Now, listen to me.
Copy !req
958. I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
Copy !req
959. But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
Copy !req
960. I got to stretch.
It's overlooked.
Copy !req
961. No, I understand.
Copy !req
962. I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
Copy !req
963. Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips
Copy !req
964. behind you for
some unknown reason.
Copy !req
965. We got kids,
we can't afford to do this.
Copy !req
966. Buddy, dude, you don't have
to do that last flip.
Copy !req
967. Don't, like, get hurt.
Copy !req
968. We'll come back another time.
Copy !req
969. You will come back never!
Copy !req
970. This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
Copy !req
971. Dude,
why are you acting so crazy?
Copy !req
972. Did Betty White
just call you crazy?
Copy !req
973. Did he just call you Betty White?
Betty White?
Copy !req
974. That's pretty funny.
Copy !req
975. We've got a situation!
Copy !req
976. You know what?
Hey, guys? Guys?
Copy !req
977. - Hey, what's up, guys?
- Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
978. Listen,
it's nice to meet everybody.
Copy !req
979. We're gonna take off,
but let's do this again.
Copy !req
980. Take care, guys.
Copy !req
981. Enjoy yourself.
Not that way.
Copy !req
982. Oh, is there an elevator?
Copy !req
983. That way.
Copy !req
984. Oh, come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
Copy !req
985. Naked.
Copy !req
986. Asshole.
Copy !req
987. Oh!
Copy !req
988. You guys are losers.
Copy !req
989. Oh!
Copy !req
990. Don't worry, it gets bigger.
Copy !req
991. Ahh!
Copy !req
992. Whoa!
Copy !req
993. Oh!
Copy !req
994. That poor old lady!
Copy !req
995. Ahh! Ah ha ha!
Copy !req
996. I'm paralyzed!
Copy !req
997. I'm in so much pain!
Copy !req
998. Mama!
Copy !req
999. No!
Copy !req
1000. Oh!
Copy !req
1001. I was inside you!
Copy !req
1002. I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!
Copy !req
1003. Damn you, Obama!
Copy !req
1004. What the hell just happened?
Copy !req
1005. I saw my dad's dick.
Copy !req
1006. Well, the good news is Lamonsoff
finally did the jump for real.
Copy !req
1007. And the bad news is
he landed on my face.
Copy !req
1008. What are you,
made of rocks, dude?
Copy !req
1009. Check this out, feel this.
I'm not kidding you.
Copy !req
1010. Right up here.
Copy !req
1011. I think even higher.
Copy !req
1012. Feel that.
And?
Copy !req
1013. Put your hand right there.
Copy !req
1014. Feel the other one.
Those are my balls.
Copy !req
1015. I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
Copy !req
1016. You're getting me turned on.
Copy !req
1017. Are you kidding me?
Copy !req
1018. What?
Copy !req
1019. They slashed our tires!
Copy !req
1020. These kids won't
stop abusing us!
Copy !req
1021. Damn you!
Copy !req
1022. This wasn't college kids.
Copy !req
1023. It was my son, Satan.
Copy !req
1024. And why is this kid so angry?
Copy !req
1025. His mom hiccupped a lot, but
she was happy! And hot.
Copy !req
1026. If she's so hot,
Copy !req
1027. why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
Copy !req
1028. Oh, Beefcakes!
Come on, baby!
Copy !req
1029. You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
Copy !req
1030. It's not funny, dude! She's gonna
kick the crap out of me later!
Copy !req
1031. Wow.
Copy !req
1032. Wow.
Copy !req
1033. A little
five-hour Energy, huh?
Copy !req
1034. Yeah.
Copy !req
1035. 500-hour Energy?
Copy !req
1036. I drink it for the taste, okay?
Copy !req
1037. Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
Copy !req
1038. Oh!
Copy !req
1039. No!
Copy !req
1040. A bonus!
Copy !req
1041. Come on,
just cram yourself in there.
Copy !req
1042. My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
Copy !req
1043. Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
Copy !req
1044. For what?
Copy !req
1045. Just get in the tire.
Copy !req
1046. No way! In there?
Five yards we'll roll you.
Copy !req
1047. We've done it. I would do
it if I could get in there.
Copy !req
1048. This is peer pressure,
you're bullying.
Copy !req
1049. And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
Copy !req
1050. Don't let him do it.
He's jacked up on juice.
Copy !req
1051. And a-one, and a-two...
Copy !req
1052. Mommy's got you.
Copy !req
1053. and a-three!
Copy !req
1054. Okay, five feet.
Grab me. Y'ello.
Copy !req
1055. Lenny!
Hey, Keithie.
Copy !req
1056. Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
Copy !req
1057. Why am I still rolling?
Copy !req
1058. Lenny!
Oops.
Copy !req
1059. Help!
Copy !req
1060. Guys. Get me!
Copy !req
1061. Hang in there!
Copy !req
1062. I'm going downhill!
Copy !req
1063. Lenny! No! No!
Copy !req
1064. When will it end?
Copy !req
1065. Oh, yeah.
Summer is here, man!
Copy !req
1066. Help! Stop! No!
Copy !req
1067. Tire on the loose!
Copy !req
1068. Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
Copy !req
1069. Someone!
Copy !req
1070. Higgins is in the tire!
Copy !req
1071. Of course.
Copy !req
1072. - Help!
- Get there!
Copy !req
1073. Help!
Copy !req
1074. Liar!
Copy !req
1075. No, no, baby!
Copy !req
1076. No! No! Someone!
Copy !req
1077. Ahh! Ahh!
Copy !req
1078. Shaw's over, tire.
Copy !req
1079. Ow!
Copy !req
1080. I'm next.
Copy !req
1081. I got next!
No, I'm next!
Copy !req
1082. It's my tire! My turn!
Copy !req
1083. Hey!
Copy !req
1084. What happened?
Copy !req
1085. I got a phone call.
Copy !req
1086. Oh.
Copy !req
1087. Okay. I forgive you.
Copy !req
1088. Was it
long-distance or something?
Copy !req
1089. Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
Copy !req
1090. but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
Copy !req
1091. looking like he
was up to no good.
Copy !req
1092. You lied about the soup.
Copy !req
1093. You lied about the soup!
Copy !req
1094. We are gonna find
those fartheads,
Copy !req
1095. and we are gonna kill them.
Copy !req
1096. Kill!
Copy !req
1097. Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Copy !req
1098. No, guys! Not each other!
Copy !req
1099. We're not killing each other!
Copy !req
1100. Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
Whoo! Uh-huh!
Copy !req
1101. It's a practice, Donna. You
don't have to go full speed.
Copy !req
1102. Sorry, Mr. Feder.
Copy !req
1103. It's fine!
Copy !req
1104. Hey, look at these
giant mooses out there.
Copy !req
1105. You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
Copy !req
1106. Plus, the kicker,
honestly, is like,
Copy !req
1107. one of the most
important guys on the team
Copy !req
1108. and you don't have
to worry about getting
Copy !req
1109. your head bashed in every play.
Copy !req
1110. I get it, Dad.
I'm a wimp.
Copy !req
1111. You're not a wimp.
Copy !req
1112. It's just common sense.
Copy !req
1113. Avoid big idiots
trying to hurt you.
Copy !req
1114. I was trying to
avoid a big idiot
Copy !req
1115. trying to hurt me on
the bus this morning,
Copy !req
1116. but he wouldn't leave me alone.
Copy !req
1117. Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
Copy !req
1118. and you just... You can't back
down in those situations.
Copy !req
1119. I'm telling you,
I've backed down a few times,
Copy !req
1120. it's not a good feeling.
Copy !req
1121. All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.
Copy !req
1122. It's like soccer,
which you're great at.
Copy !req
1123. All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
Copy !req
1124. Whoo!
What?
Copy !req
1125. Touchdown! Yeah!
Copy !req
1126. Yeah!
Copy !req
1127. That's ridiculous!
Your first try?
Copy !req
1128. All right,
we're backing up, boy.
Copy !req
1129. That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
Copy !req
1130. That was just, like, awesome!
Copy !req
1131. Okay, drive through the ball.
Copy !req
1132. Drive through the ball.
Copy !req
1133. It's up!
Copy !req
1134. Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo! Go, Keithie!
Copy !req
1135. Yes! What did you
eat this morning?
Copy !req
1136. All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
Copy !req
1137. From the 30!
Copy !req
1138. Who the hell is this kid?
Copy !req
1139. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1140. I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
Copy !req
1141. Really?
Copy !req
1142. Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
Copy !req
1143. Keithie! Whoo!
Copy !req
1144. All right, let's see how you do
Copy !req
1145. in a real game situation,
though.
Copy !req
1146. Okay? Let's
pretend I'm a linebacker,
Copy !req
1147. and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
Copy !req
1148. Okay.
Copy !req
1149. Set!
Copy !req
1150. Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
Copy !req
1151. Give me that football!
Copy !req
1152. Oh, my leg!
Copy !req
1153. Keithie!
Copy !req
1154. Don't tell your mother!
Copy !req
1155. All right, that kid's dead.
Back to work.
Copy !req
1156. Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
Copy !req
1157. Yeah.
Copy !req
1158. Parallel park?
Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
1159. Hey, don't "yeah,
yeah" me, dumb-ass.
Copy !req
1160. You're precious cargo.
Copy !req
1161. Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
Copy !req
1162. I'm gonna have to kill you.
Copy !req
1163. Look, Dad, I'm ready
for this, all right?
Copy !req
1164. You're late.
Copy !req
1165. Hello, McKenzie.
Copy !req
1166. Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
Copy !req
1167. Oh, just two years of this.
Copy !req
1168. And I still only have
40% feeling in my body.
Copy !req
1169. Otherwise, I'm fine.
Copy !req
1170. No, Rihanna's fine.
Copy !req
1171. You just teach driver's ed.
Copy !req
1172. Get her done, son!
Copy !req
1173. And remember
everything we talked about!
Copy !req
1174. Defensive driving!
Copy !req
1175. Stop at all yellows!
Copy !req
1176. Obey the laws!
Copy !req
1177. You moron!
Copy !req
1178. Look out!
Copy !req
1179. Be safe!
Don't do what I just did!
Copy !req
1180. Hey, officers,
you guys want to stick around
Copy !req
1181. and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
Copy !req
1182. You're afraid of us leaving you
Copy !req
1183. alone with your son,
aren't you?
Copy !req
1184. My son... Are you
kidding me? I don't care...
Copy !req
1185. Boo!
Copy !req
1186. He's got a knife!
Copy !req
1187. That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
Copy !req
1188. Just 35 feet.
Copy !req
1189. Who do you think
you are, Tarzan?
Copy !req
1190. It's no big deal.
Honey?
Copy !req
1191. Hi, Sally.
Copy !req
1192. Hi, honey.
I... No, I just came to see
Copy !req
1193. if Mommy was alive.
Copy !req
1194. And looking now,
Copy !req
1195. she's breathing, she's good.
Copy !req
1196. Hi. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1197. I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
Copy !req
1198. That's good.
You said you couldn't
Copy !req
1199. get coffee with
me because you had
Copy !req
1200. a 3:30 appointment
with a Mr. Renaldo.
Copy !req
1201. Hello, ladies!
Copy !req
1202. You!
Copy !req
1203. Can't be!
Copy !req
1204. We killed you. Last week.
Copy !req
1205. You actually think
two amateurish nitwits
Copy !req
1206. could kill The Great Renaldo?
Copy !req
1207. I told you.
Copy !req
1208. You did. You called it.
Copy !req
1209. So the leg's not
really broken, huh?
Copy !req
1210. No, it is broken, right here.
Copy !req
1211. Just a hairline fracture,
though.
Copy !req
1212. No, it's a clean break.
Copy !req
1213. Slight, though.
Copy !req
1214. Slight? No. It's broken.
Copy !req
1215. Broken-broken or just broken?
Copy !req
1216. It's a broken leg.
Copy !req
1217. What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
Copy !req
1218. Right.
Copy !req
1219. Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
Copy !req
1220. No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
Copy !req
1221. So you're saying
my wife is crazy?
Copy !req
1222. No, no. I was joking.
Copy !req
1223. Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
Copy !req
1224. Look, your son
Copy !req
1225. is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
Copy !req
1226. If you don't mind,
I haven't slept in 68 hours.
Copy !req
1227. So you're a little
loopy from lack of sleep,
Copy !req
1228. and that really
isn't my son's bone.
Copy !req
1229. That's a piece of
celery you snapped.
Copy !req
1230. Lenny!
Yes?
Copy !req
1231. The leg is broken!
Copy !req
1232. You can't undo this,
Copy !req
1233. and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
Copy !req
1234. Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
Copy !req
1235. There is.
Copy !req
1236. It's called Jack Daniel's.
Copy !req
1237. Another one of your jokes, huh?
Copy !req
1238. I Wish.
Copy !req
1239. Okay, the light is red
now, so just remain stopped.
Copy !req
1240. Scully, is that you?
Copy !req
1241. Scully!
Copy !req
1242. Hey, what's up, fellas?
Copy !req
1243. Are you taking your
driver's test drunk?
Copy !req
1244. Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
Copy !req
1245. Oh! You're a madman!
Psychopath, man!
Copy !req
1246. Hey, Scully, Scully.
Copy !req
1247. Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
Copy !req
1248. No, I can't say I did. Why?
Copy !req
1249. They
disrespected our frat house!
Copy !req
1250. Man, they disrespected
the crap out of it!
Copy !req
1251. Oh, no, can't have that.
Copy !req
1252. Brewski time, dude!
Copy !req
1253. It's not for you, Scully.
Copy !req
1254. It's for that freak
in the hat next to you.
Copy !req
1255. Looks like he needs it.
Copy !req
1256. Boom!
Yeah!
Copy !req
1257. That just happened!
Copy !req
1258. Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Copy !req
1259. Taking your driver's
test while intoxicated?
Copy !req
1260. Minus five points.
Copy !req
1261. This is ridiculous!
Copy !req
1262. I've wasted an entire day waiting
for this idiot to show up.
Copy !req
1263. Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
Copy !req
1264. A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
Copy !req
1265. I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
Copy !req
1266. Love to the children.
Copy !req
1267. Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
1268. Damn it, I just sat down.
Copy !req
1269. I'll be right out there!
Copy !req
1270. Hang on!
Copy !req
1271. I'm coming as quick as I can.
Copy !req
1272. I got bunions, damn it!
Copy !req
1273. No! No!
Copy !req
1274. You burn in hell!
Copy !req
1275. You cable-installing mother...
Copy !req
1276. Oh, damn it!
Copy !req
1277. Look, man,
Copy !req
1278. I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
Copy !req
1279. why they don't see their kids,
Copy !req
1280. but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
Copy !req
1281. is actually a fantastic excuse.
Copy !req
1282. So can you cut me some slack?
Copy !req
1283. Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
Copy !req
1284. Yeah, I know that.
Copy !req
1285. So why do you call her that?
Copy !req
1286. No, that's just...
It's stupid.
Copy !req
1287. It's just kind of
a nickname I give people that,
Copy !req
1288. you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
Copy !req
1289. Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
Copy !req
1290. And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
Copy !req
1291. Oh, so you'd be Ugly McGee.
Copy !req
1292. I'd be Ugly McGee.
Exactly.
Copy !req
1293. Shorty McGee.
Copy !req
1294. Shorty McGee, sure.
Copy !req
1295. Viagra McGee.
Copy !req
1296. Right, right.
You get it, you get it.
Copy !req
1297. Listen, man,
Copy !req
1298. I'm willing to give
this a try if you are.
Copy !req
1299. You know what they say... Yesterday's
history, tomorrow's a mystery.
Copy !req
1300. Maybe we go inside
and search the Internet
Copy !req
1301. for funny videos of
squirrels waterskiing.
Copy !req
1302. Okay, we're getting somewhere.
Copy !req
1303. I'm sorry I lied
about the appointment.
Copy !req
1304. The lying's not the worst part.
Copy !req
1305. You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
Copy !req
1306. Who does that?
Copy !req
1307. Look, she's nice to me.
Copy !req
1308. You know,
she always takes my side,
Copy !req
1309. worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
Copy !req
1310. I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
Copy !req
1311. Okay, I don't.
Copy !req
1312. You're right.
Copy !req
1313. You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
Copy !req
1314. and I'm always
running around the kids,
Copy !req
1315. and I guess I
leave you out a lot,
Copy !req
1316. and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
Copy !req
1317. 'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
Copy !req
1318. I feel bad.
Copy !req
1319. Don't feel bad.
Copy !req
1320. No, I do,
because today at the recital,
Copy !req
1321. I couldn't stop
looking at Becky's teacher.
Copy !req
1322. I don't mind you looking.
Copy !req
1323. I really don't.
Everybody looks.
Copy !req
1324. I was looking today.
Copy !req
1325. And I'm totally fine with that.
Copy !req
1326. As long as he was gay,
dead or a cartoon.
Copy !req
1327. Gay.
Okay.
Copy !req
1328. But no matter who
or what we look at,
Copy !req
1329. we'll always come back
to each other, right?
Copy !req
1330. Car wash!
Car wash! Whoo!
Copy !req
1331. Support our team!
I'll prove it to you!
Copy !req
1332. Car wash!
Copy !req
1333. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1334. No, no, you're gonna like this.
Copy !req
1335. Hi, girls!
Copy !req
1336. Come on.
Copy !req
1337. Honey,
you don't have to do this.
Copy !req
1338. I want to.
Copy !req
1339. Hi, girls!
Copy !req
1340. Wash it up extra soapy!
Copy !req
1341. You got it.
Copy !req
1342. Oh, wait, hang on. There's a
car just in front of you.
Copy !req
1343. Better do them first.
Copy !req
1344. Yo, got a customer!
Copy !req
1345. You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
Copy !req
1346. Extra soapy.
Copy !req
1347. Oh, what is
happening right now?
Copy !req
1348. I swear, I didn't plan this.
Copy !req
1349. No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
Copy !req
1350. Well, I might as
well enjoy this.
Copy !req
1351. Why is this never-ending?
Copy !req
1352. At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
Copy !req
1353. What are you doing?
Get in there!
Copy !req
1354. Let me do it.
Copy !req
1355. Okay, everybody.
Copy !req
1356. It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
Copy !req
1357. Sorry about the leg.
Copy !req
1358. The good news is
Copy !req
1359. the children got through
another year of school.
Copy !req
1360. Fabulously.
Copy !req
1361. You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.
Copy !req
1362. Stay young. Don't leave me.
Copy !req
1363. You prepared us your famous
chicken à la food poisoning,
Copy !req
1364. which we're all excited to eat.
Copy !req
1365. I'm just kidding.
Copy !req
1366. But the greatest thing is, it's
my favorite part of the day
Copy !req
1367. with my four best friends.
Copy !req
1368. To the Feders!
Copy !req
1369. So Bumpty asked me
out for ice cream today.
Copy !req
1370. I "went out for ice cream"
once with your dad.
Copy !req
1371. Nine months later,
Andre popped out.
Copy !req
1372. This is the best
vanilla pudding I've ever had.
Copy !req
1373. That's butter, son.
Copy !req
1374. Here you go.
Copy !req
1375. Oh, hey.
Copy !req
1376. Want me to come in
and feed it to you
Copy !req
1377. like I did the last time?
Copy !req
1378. No, no. I got my kid here.
Copy !req
1379. That wouldn't be cool.
Copy !req
1380. You said you loved me!
Copy !req
1381. They're not all tens, buddy.
Copy !req
1382. Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
Copy !req
1383. I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
Copy !req
1384. What was it, me naked?
Copy !req
1385. What?
Copy !req
1386. What's a burpsmart?
Copy !req
1387. Burpsnorp?
Copy !req
1388. A burpsnart!
Copy !req
1389. Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
Copy !req
1390. He goes...
Copy !req
1391. I think I just shat myself.
Copy !req
1392. Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
Copy !req
1393. What?
Copy !req
1394. It's paint.
Copy !req
1395. It doesn't come off.
Copy !req
1396. I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
Copy !req
1397. A theme?
Copy !req
1398. Roxanne decided the theme is...
Copy !req
1399. The '80s?
Copy !req
1400. That was 70 years ago.
Copy !req
1401. I thought we could
go as Hall & Oates.
Copy !req
1402. Hall & Oates?
Copy !req
1403. Yeah.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1404. What is that, like a cereal?
Copy !req
1405. No.
Copy !req
1406. Why don't you
ask Nancy Arbuckle
Copy !req
1407. to come by for
the get-together?
Copy !req
1408. Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
Copy !req
1409. You know what, Charlotte?
I trust you,
Copy !req
1410. and I want you to
have fun tonight.
Copy !req
1411. Really.
Copy !req
1412. What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
Copy !req
1413. What...
Copy !req
1414. Used to get 10 cases
of beer for my parties,
Copy !req
1415. now I get 10
cases of juice boxes.
Copy !req
1416. Hey, Beckster.
Copy !req
1417. Hey, Stud Muffin.
Hey.
Copy !req
1418. Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
Copy !req
1419. Is that right?
Copy !req
1420. You must be Roxanne's husband.
I'm Kyle.
Copy !req
1421. How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
Copy !req
1422. I worked her out this morning.
Copy !req
1423. Oh, really?
Copy !req
1424. I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
Copy !req
1425. All right.
Copy !req
1426. Hi.
Copy !req
1427. What's up?
Copy !req
1428. This is awkward.
Copy !req
1429. My husband's here.
Copy !req
1430. Why is that awkward?
Copy !req
1431. Why?
Copy !req
1432. Well, let me give you a hint.
Copy !req
1433. You have brain damage?
Copy !req
1434. I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
Copy !req
1435. What time is it?
Copy !req
1436. Oh, nothing.
Copy !req
1437. It's just...
Just time to...
Copy !req
1438. Help me out here.
Copy !req
1439. I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1440. Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
Copy !req
1441. Did he pass his test?
Copy !req
1442. He squeaked by.
Copy !req
1443. We didn't check out
any soapy cheerleaders.
Copy !req
1444. What's going on
with you and my wife?
Copy !req
1445. I'm gonna go.
Copy !req
1446. Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
Copy !req
1447. I don't see any of these
conversations working out for me.
Copy !req
1448. Adios.
I'll see you tonight.
Copy !req
1449. Hey.
Copy !req
1450. I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
Copy !req
1451. What?
Copy !req
1452. Yeah, party
tonight '80s-style, huh?
Copy !req
1453. Rocky III.
Copy !req
1454. Wiley!
Copy !req
1455. Okay.
Copy !req
1456. Hey, babe.
Copy !req
1457. What does Penny's note say?
Copy !req
1458. Uh...
Copy !req
1459. She wrote,
"Mayonnaise, zitis..."
Copy !req
1460. The other side.
Copy !req
1461. "Meet me by your
mailbox at 11:00."
Copy !req
1462. Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
Copy !req
1463. You have any idea
what just happened there?
Copy !req
1464. Not a clue.
Copy !req
1465. I don't care who
your parents are.
Copy !req
1466. You screw up, I fire you.
Copy !req
1467. It's all good.
Copy !req
1468. "It's all good"?
Copy !req
1469. It's a family restaurant,
not a rap show.
Copy !req
1470. It's all bad?
Copy !req
1471. That's right, it is.
Copy !req
1472. You got a customer.
Copy !req
1473. I'm sorry. Welcome to
the Ice Cream House.
Copy !req
1474. Hi, Greg.
Copy !req
1475. Nancy, hi.
Copy !req
1476. I think you crushed your cones.
Copy !req
1477. Oh, no.
Copy !req
1478. That was a...
That was a squeeze test.
Copy !req
1479. These cones failed.
Copy !req
1480. We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
Copy !req
1481. You're smiling.
Copy !req
1482. And number two.
Copy !req
1483. You have such a nice smile.
Copy !req
1484. Thanks.
Copy !req
1485. Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
Copy !req
1486. Tonight?
Copy !req
1487. Sure.
Copy !req
1488. No freaking way.
Copy !req
1489. Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
Copy !req
1490. when we were growing up.
Copy !req
1491. It always worked then.
Copy !req
1492. Even on my wife.
Copy !req
1493. I ain't no boy with
a mind you can toy,
Copy !req
1494. 'cause if this is a ploy,
I'll destroy Illinois.
Copy !req
1495. It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
Copy !req
1496. I been laying it down
truthful since day one.
Copy !req
1497. Well, I sing sometimes, too,
Copy !req
1498. but only, like, in the shower.
Copy !req
1499. I'm scared to sing in
front of other people.
Copy !req
1500. If you scared,
that means you don't got it.
Copy !req
1501. Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
Copy !req
1502. Dinosaur!
Copy !req
1503. How long ago was the '80s?
Copy !req
1504. That was way back in the 1900s.
Copy !req
1505. We learned about it in school.
Copy !req
1506. It was wack.
Copy !req
1507. The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
Copy !req
1508. You had to watch commercials.
Copy !req
1509. No way.
Copy !req
1510. Isn't that right, Bowser?
Copy !req
1511. How we doing?
Copy !req
1512. Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
Copy !req
1513. I am wearing a costume.
Copy !req
1514. Bruce Springsteen,
Born in the U. S.A.
Copy !req
1515. Who's Bruce Springsteen?
Copy !req
1516. I guess some guy
with a giant butt.
Copy !req
1517. Ha.
Copy !req
1518. You don't know who the Boss is?
Copy !req
1519. I stink as a father.
Copy !req
1520. You do not stink as a father.
Copy !req
1521. You're the best father I know.
Copy !req
1522. That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
Copy !req
1523. Why I don't want a baby?
Copy !req
1524. Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
Copy !req
1525. Oh, no. No, no.
Copy !req
1526. Tell her it wasn't
you talking, Dad.
Copy !req
1527. It was your flabby ass.
Copy !req
1528. You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
Copy !req
1529. Hey, I'm sorry
I raised my voice.
Copy !req
1530. In front of the children!
Copy !req
1531. Right, in front of the kids.
Copy !req
1532. It's just, you...
Copy !req
1533. All you're doing is bringing up
this baby thing over and over.
Copy !req
1534. Are you going through, like,
Copy !req
1535. a "womany" hormone situation
or something?
Copy !req
1536. Menopause?
Copy !req
1537. What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1538. Okay, no,
I meant schizophrenia.
Copy !req
1539. No, honey, honey, honey,
Copy !req
1540. if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
Copy !req
1541. How about we just adopt a kid?
Copy !req
1542. Like
a 20-year-old who has a job.
Copy !req
1543. That way we could
make money off of him.
Copy !req
1544. Oh!
Copy !req
1545. I just... Don't you think we can
start concentrating on me and you?
Copy !req
1546. That's all I'm saying.
It's our time.
Copy !req
1547. Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.
Copy !req
1548. Ah, good,
there's pills for that.
Copy !req
1549. I'm pregnant.
Copy !req
1550. Our guests are here.
Copy !req
1551. Wait a minute,
when did we even have...
Copy !req
1552. Oh.
Copy !req
1553. Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
Copy !req
1554. Wow.
Lenny, that's big, brother.
Copy !req
1555. Yeah, four kids is the best.
Copy !req
1556. What are you
talking about, Prince?
Copy !req
1557. You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
Copy !req
1558. There's a lot of
great aspects to that.
Copy !req
1559. Like, when Junior graduates
high school, you'll be 64.
Copy !req
1560. How is that a good thing?
Copy !req
1561. Actually, it's horrifying.
Copy !req
1562. I didn't do the math before
I opened my mouth. Sorry.
Copy !req
1563. Whoo. Nice job, Cher.
Copy !req
1564. Okay, I'm not Cher.
Copy !req
1565. I'm Meat Loaf, all right?
Yeah.
Copy !req
1566. You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
Copy !req
1567. Who are you, Doug Henning?
Copy !req
1568. I'm Oates.
Copy !req
1569. Where's Hall?
Copy !req
1570. Hall's having
a playdate with your kids.
Copy !req
1571. Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
Copy !req
1572. All right? You're a great dad.
Copy !req
1573. Right, I know.
I broke my son's leg today.
Copy !req
1574. That's a real good dad.
Copy !req
1575. Guys, you're
bumming me out, all right?
Copy !req
1576. This is supposed
to be party time.
Copy !req
1577. This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
Copy !req
1578. 'cause I'm afraid my
wife's gonna yell at me
Copy !req
1579. for getting drunk
in front of the kids.
Copy !req
1580. How many of you guys have been to
a party in the past six months?
Copy !req
1581. A party without a bouncy house.
Copy !req
1582. A party where they
actually invited you.
Copy !req
1583. Yeah.
Copy !req
1584. The party's over, fellas.
Copy !req
1585. You saw the way those frat
guys treated us today.
Copy !req
1586. We're irrelevant.
Copy !req
1587. We're losers.
Copy !req
1588. We're old.
Copy !req
1589. Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
Copy !req
1590. He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
Copy !req
1591. You know what, first of all,
Copy !req
1592. it's a "survanny" pack,
a survival fanny pack,
Copy !req
1593. with many special features.
Copy !req
1594. So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?
Copy !req
1595. Why don't you give it a shot?
Copy !req
1596. You got it.
I'll pull the string.
Copy !req
1597. Yeah, good one, that was good.
Copy !req
1598. Don't ever say
the party's over!
Copy !req
1599. That didn't happen.
Copy !req
1600. Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
Copy !req
1601. No, no, no, no, no.
Copy !req
1602. What's with all this Prince?
Copy !req
1603. I'm Prince.
The hell.
Copy !req
1604. You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
Copy !req
1605. My skin's way
lighter than yours.
Copy !req
1606. You should have came as Seal on
a hunger strike.
Copy !req
1607. You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
Copy !req
1608. And what you
doing here, Bumpty?
Copy !req
1609. I thought you was
out with my daughter.
Copy !req
1610. That ain't Bumpty.
That's my wife.
Copy !req
1611. Oh, Mary!
I didn't recognize you.
Copy !req
1612. Where's your costume?
Copy !req
1613. I didn't find out about the
party until it was too late.
Copy !req
1614. So you decided to
come as a black Muppet?
Copy !req
1615. What?
Copy !req
1616. Come on, you're my one and
only, sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
Copy !req
1617. Make a muscle for me?
Copy !req
1618. Pwease?
Copy !req
1619. Ooh!
Copy !req
1620. So bulgy.
Copy !req
1621. Like a big caramel apple.
Copy !req
1622. Wow.
Copy !req
1623. I'm scared.
I feel safe with you.
Copy !req
1624. Shut up.
Copy !req
1625. You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
Copy !req
1626. I just can't sustain it.
Copy !req
1627. You know,
there's a distance there.
Copy !req
1628. Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
Copy !req
1629. or the Discovery Channel,
Copy !req
1630. or Dino Nuggets.
Copy !req
1631. But nothing really works.
Copy !req
1632. See, you understand, you know?
Copy !req
1633. 'Cause you're, I heard,
Copy !req
1634. sensitive to men.
Copy !req
1635. God, he's hot!
Copy !req
1636. Zip it!
He'll find out our secret!
Copy !req
1637. Drink up, partner.
Copy !req
1638. Yeah!
Copy !req
1639. Lenny!
Copy !req
1640. Uh-oh! Secret table.
Copy !req
1641. Yes, honey, how are you?
What's going on?
Copy !req
1642. We just trying to
get our punch on.
Copy !req
1643. Becky's sleepy.
Copy !req
1644. She wants her daddy
to put her to bed.
Copy !req
1645. Well, Daddy's right about to
enjoy some refreshing punch,
Copy !req
1646. so could you put her to sleep?
Copy !req
1647. Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
Copy !req
1648. with all these
kids running around.
Copy !req
1649. You know what,
I'd be okay with that.
Copy !req
1650. Actually, you wouldn't.
Copy !req
1651. Gotcha.
Copy !req
1652. I'll be back soon, fellas. I'll be back soon.
That's a promise.
Copy !req
1653. Let's go, little girl.
Good night.
Copy !req
1654. Time to go to sleep.
Copy !req
1655. Close your eyes.
Copy !req
1656. Yeah, Mom.
Copy !req
1657. As easy as making a free throw.
Copy !req
1658. Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
Copy !req
1659. I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
Copy !req
1660. Oh, no, no, don't touch that.
Copy !req
1661. Yeah, you might break it.
Copy !req
1662. What...
Copy !req
1663. Where did you
learn how to do that?
Copy !req
1664. I saw it in one of my dreams.
Copy !req
1665. You're a genius?
Copy !req
1666. My boy's a genius.
Copy !req
1667. Your dad's also a genius.
Copy !req
1668. Sweet dreams there,
angel, okay?
Copy !req
1669. Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
Copy !req
1670. What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
Copy !req
1671. Please lay down.
Copy !req
1672. Oh!
Copy !req
1673. I'll lay down with you, then.
Copy !req
1674. I just... There's
a party going on, but...
Copy !req
1675. Can you tell me a story?
Copy !req
1676. Look who was in
the neighborhood!
Copy !req
1677. Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
Copy !req
1678. Daddy?
Copy !req
1679. You don't want one slug?
Copy !req
1680. No.
Copy !req
1681. I thought you liked
this stuff. Sorry.
Copy !req
1682. All right.
I'll tell you a story.
Copy !req
1683. Once upon a time,
there was a hand,
Copy !req
1684. and the hand
faced-raked the child.
Copy !req
1685. Sleep!
Copy !req
1686. Slee...
Copy !req
1687. Sleep!
Copy !req
1688. Boy, Feder's cranking his old rock
and roll records pretty loud.
Copy !req
1689. Guess he's never
heard of neighbors.
Copy !req
1690. Now, why you stopping here?
Copy !req
1691. I need some air.
Copy !req
1692. You need some air?
Copy !req
1693. We haven't even
gotten to the party yet.
Copy !req
1694. I would appreciate it
Copy !req
1695. if you would stop
trying to "manage" me.
Copy !req
1696. Word, word.
Copy !req
1697. Want me to stay
and wait with you?
Copy !req
1698. I just want to be alone!
Copy !req
1699. Yo, don't believe the hype.
Copy !req
1700. Boy!
Copy !req
1701. Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.
Copy !req
1702. You told me he would be okay.
Copy !req
1703. He will be. I...
Copy !req
1704. He just needs to rest
a little bit longer, okay?
Copy !req
1705. Please, Daddy.
I need to see him.
Copy !req
1706. He had a very rough day.
Copy !req
1707. But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
Copy !req
1708. Doing leg lifts. I work
out when I can, you know?
Copy !req
1709. Want some Daddy
candy right here?
Copy !req
1710. Why are you naked?
Copy !req
1711. Global warming.
Copy !req
1712. Why is this empty?
Copy !req
1713. Where is Gigglesworth?
Hey, hey.
Copy !req
1714. I'm sorry, man.
Were you looking for this?
Copy !req
1715. Why's he look good?
Copy !req
1716. I sewed him.
Copy !req
1717. You sew?
Copy !req
1718. Where'd you learn how to sew?
Copy !req
1719. Gay camp.
Copy !req
1720. You went to gay camp?
You're gay?
Copy !req
1721. No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
Copy !req
1722. but no, there's no such thing as
gay camp, man. It was a joke.
Copy !req
1723. I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
Copy !req
1724. I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
Copy !req
1725. This is great.
Copy !req
1726. Gigglesworth's okay,
Copy !req
1727. you're not fooling
around with my wife,
Copy !req
1728. and you got a pee stain.
Copy !req
1729. That is not mine.
Copy !req
1730. You're an animal.
Copy !req
1731. I am the law!
Copy !req
1732. Oh!
Copy !req
1733. Can you dig it?
Copy !req
1734. Ah!
Copy !req
1735. Come on, big man, Lenny's
got, like, 12 bathrooms.
Copy !req
1736. I don't got to go
to the bathroom.
Copy !req
1737. I'm just enjoying the water.
Copy !req
1738. Get out.
Copy !req
1739. Hurry! Hurry!
Copy !req
1740. Oh, Fluzoo, come on!
Copy !req
1741. That's not even warm.
It's hot.
Copy !req
1742. I got to give it to
your old man for one thing.
Copy !req
1743. He could always throw a party.
Copy !req
1744. This is my dad's party?
Copy !req
1745. Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
Copy !req
1746. Charlotte,
Copy !req
1747. that was amazing.
Copy !req
1748. Where'd you learn
to sing like that?
Copy !req
1749. No place. I just sing a little
in the shower.
Copy !req
1750. Maybe you should stick to the shower.
Copy !req
1751. Bumpty!
Copy !req
1752. Do me a favor
and shut your mouth
Copy !req
1753. before I slap that
Mohawk into a chin strap.
Copy !req
1754. What?
Copy !req
1755. Hey.
Copy !req
1756. Who invited you guys?
Copy !req
1757. Your beautiful wife does.
Copy !req
1758. Well, she invited her,
Copy !req
1759. and naturally,
we assumed it was a plus one.
Copy !req
1760. There a problem?
Copy !req
1761. No, I was gonna say,
great Terminator outfit
Copy !req
1762. and Robert Palmer
thing you got on, and...
Copy !req
1763. Nice babble.
Copy !req
1764. - How about this?
- No.
Copy !req
1765. What about that?
Copy !req
1766. Does that hurt?
Is that hurting you?
Copy !req
1767. Yes, it is hurting me.
Copy !req
1768. Oh. Okay.
Well, let me do it some more.
Copy !req
1769. You got something to say?
Copy !req
1770. Actually, Cavanaugh.
Copy !req
1771. You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
Copy !req
1772. For what?
Copy !req
1773. For back in the day,
always giving me crap.
Copy !req
1774. You don't want to
let bygones be bygones?
Copy !req
1775. I do.
After you apologize to me.
Copy !req
1776. For stuff I did 30 years ago?
Copy !req
1777. There isn't a statute of
limitations on being a dick.
Copy !req
1778. What'd you just say?
Copy !req
1779. I said what I said.
Copy !req
1780. You and me are
fighting right now.
Copy !req
1781. Now, let's go!
Let's get it over with.
Copy !req
1782. Oh, man, looks like our
friend's about to die.
Copy !req
1783. Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
Copy !req
1784. We're already here.
Copy !req
1785. Hold my hair, woman.
Copy !req
1786. You ready for this?
Copy !req
1787. Not at all,
but I'm gonna do this,
Copy !req
1788. 'cause I got to show
my son what's right.
Copy !req
1789. We'd do anything for
our boys, wouldn't we?
Copy !req
1790. Absolutely.
Copy !req
1791. Yeah.
Copy !req
1792. My boy's over in Afghanistan.
Copy !req
1793. Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
Copy !req
1794. Yeah, me, too.
Copy !req
1795. Sucker-punch him, Feder.
Copy !req
1796. Lick his bicep. Lick it,
bite it, lick the tan off.
Copy !req
1797. All right,
here's what's gonna happen.
Copy !req
1798. Hit me right on the chin. I'll
go down like a sack of potatoes.
Copy !req
1799. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
1800. Just do it.
Copy !req
1801. I know you'd do the same for
me if my boy was watching.
Copy !req
1802. Let's get busy, Hollywood!
Copy !req
1803. No! Don't hit me, please!
Copy !req
1804. I'm sorry.
Please don't hit me.
Copy !req
1805. You would tear
me limb from limb.
Copy !req
1806. Open this.
Copy !req
1807. The only reason I picked on you
Copy !req
1808. was because I
was afraid of you.
Copy !req
1809. What?
Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1810. Please, please, please.
Just go with it.
Copy !req
1811. I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
Copy !req
1812. Please. Don't hit me.
Copy !req
1813. Cavanaugh's crying.
This is ridiculous!
Copy !req
1814. Cavanaugh.
Copy !req
1815. You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
Copy !req
1816. No! Please.
Copy !req
1817. Or the elbow?
Copy !req
1818. Finger in the eye!
Copy !req
1819. Wow.
Listen to this guy!
Copy !req
1820. All right, get up.
Straighten up.
Copy !req
1821. I'm not gonna hit you,
Copy !req
1822. but if you ever disrespect me
Copy !req
1823. or anybody,
Copy !req
1824. I will hunt you down,
Copy !req
1825. and I will slap you
into a pile of tattoos,
Copy !req
1826. bad breath
Copy !req
1827. and back zits.
Copy !req
1828. Oh, please.
Copy !req
1829. Do you understand me?
Copy !req
1830. Yes, I understand you.
Copy !req
1831. Do you understand me?
Copy !req
1832. Yes, I understand you!
Copy !req
1833. Then walk away
before I change my mind.
Copy !req
1834. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1835. Hey, man, look at him!
Copy !req
1836. What just happened?
Copy !req
1837. Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
Copy !req
1838. Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
Copy !req
1839. You get extra special
hip-hop dance tonight.
Copy !req
1840. Word up.
Copy !req
1841. Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
Copy !req
1842. could you tell him that I'm
here waiting like we arranged?
Copy !req
1843. Guys? Guys?
Copy !req
1844. Yeah, okay.
Okay, I am a person!
Copy !req
1845. That was awesome, by the way.
Had to. Had to.
Copy !req
1846. Yeah, yeah, you had to.
Copy !req
1847. He let you off the hook,
didn't he?
Copy !req
1848. He did, he did,
but I had to go with it.
Copy !req
1849. I can't believe it!
Copy !req
1850. We hit the moron jackpot!
Copy !req
1851. Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
Copy !req
1852. Who are they?
Copy !req
1853. Brunson University frat guys.
Copy !req
1854. Oh, God, I hate white people.
Copy !req
1855. Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
Copy !req
1856. I tell you what is the matter.
Copy !req
1857. These old townies
trashed our frat house!
Copy !req
1858. And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
Copy !req
1859. Yeah!
Copy !req
1860. They didn't do it.
Copy !req
1861. Me do it.
Copy !req
1862. Don't try and
cover for him, Z-Dog!
Copy !req
1863. Who's Z-Dog?
Copy !req
1864. We know they're
trying to get back at us
Copy !req
1865. for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
Copy !req
1866. Your swimming hole?
I've been swimming
Copy !req
1867. at the quarry since I
was eight years old.
Copy !req
1868. Apparently,
everybody in this crap town
Copy !req
1869. has been swimming there since
they were eight years old.
Copy !req
1870. I guess nobody
wants to leave this dump
Copy !req
1871. because they're
too busy sucking!
Copy !req
1872. We'll finish later.
Copy !req
1873. You promise?
I promise.
Copy !req
1874. - Okay.
- Hey, smart guy!
Copy !req
1875. Lenny Feder left this town,
Copy !req
1876. moved to Hollywood,
made big bucks,
Copy !req
1877. probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
Copy !req
1878. ever will.
Copy !req
1879. But guess what?
Copy !req
1880. He came back here.
Copy !req
1881. 'Cause this
beautiful town is his home.
Copy !req
1882. And it always will be his home.
Copy !req
1883. Well, that was just a moving
testament to this community, bro!
Copy !req
1884. But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
Copy !req
1885. We came here to kick
some old, smelly ass!
Copy !req
1886. Fellas, we may be old.
Copy !req
1887. We may be smelly.
Copy !req
1888. We may have a penis.
Copy !req
1889. But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
Copy !req
1890. is gonna be you spoiled,
Copy !req
1891. privileged,
uppity, preppy D-bags.
Copy !req
1892. You hear that?
Copy !req
1893. Now, let's get busy!
Copy !req
1894. Come on, son!
Copy !req
1895. You ain't tough!
Copy !req
1896. Hit him!
Copy !req
1897. Yeah, Braden!
Whoo! Yeah! Damn!
Copy !req
1898. You want this?
Uh-oh!
Copy !req
1899. Sir, please stop it!
Copy !req
1900. That's not a sir!
That's a woman!
Copy !req
1901. My woman!
Copy !req
1902. Come on, babe.
Copy !req
1903. Oh, you're so hot.
Copy !req
1904. Don't bust my face!
Copy !req
1905. You saved me.
Copy !req
1906. I will protect you for
the rest of your life.
Copy !req
1907. Oh, okay, blow dryer boy.
Copy !req
1908. Oh, God, no!
Copy !req
1909. No! No!
Copy !req
1910. Yeah! Yeah!
Copy !req
1911. Having a good anniversary,
babe?
Copy !req
1912. Oh, honey, the best.
Copy !req
1913. I can't breathe.
Copy !req
1914. Choking me!
Copy !req
1915. Yeah!
Copy !req
1916. We did it. We did it, man.
Copy !req
1917. Yeah.
Copy !req
1918. We make a good team.
Copy !req
1919. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
Copy !req
1920. Boomer!
Copy !req
1921. What's going on?
Copy !req
1922. This!
Copy !req
1923. You're a traitor, Boomer!
Copy !req
1924. His name's not Boomer!
Copy !req
1925. Oh!
It's Gary.
Copy !req
1926. It's Greg.
Copy !req
1927. Oh, Greg.
Copy !req
1928. Oh, my God!
Did you see his head?
Copy !req
1929. He's got a... He's bald!
Copy !req
1930. I got a wild one!
Copy !req
1931. I got a wild one!
Whoo hoo hoo!
Copy !req
1932. Noogie, noogie, noogie.
Copy !req
1933. Nobody noogies my brother!
Copy !req
1934. My brain! My brain!
Copy !req
1935. Hey, man! I had that one.
Copy !req
1936. I know you did, big brother.
Copy !req
1937. Get out of here!
Copy !req
1938. Don't hit me!
Copy !req
1939. Hey, hey, look who showed up.
Copy !req
1940. Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to
flip your way out of this?
Copy !req
1941. Too slow, old man.
Copy !req
1942. Where you work out, Cinnabon?
Copy !req
1943. Look who's back up, baby.
Copy !req
1944. I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
Copy !req
1945. All right.
Copy !req
1946. We're gonna
throw some legs, huh?
Copy !req
1947. You want to
throw some legs, huh?
Copy !req
1948. Boom!
Copy !req
1949. That just happened.
Copy !req
1950. What,
were you raised by ninjas?
Copy !req
1951. Congratulations.
Copy !req
1952. You won the fight.
Copy !req
1953. Here's your prize.
Copy !req
1954. Aw!
Copy !req
1955. Thanks, little girl.
It looks just like you.
Copy !req
1956. It's a monkey!
Copy !req
1957. Look at me!
Copy !req
1958. I'm a stupid little monkey.
Copy !req
1959. Good night.
Copy !req
1960. Come on, guys!
We got to get out!
Copy !req
1961. Let's go!
Copy !req
1962. Lenny! Baby.
Copy !req
1963. Baby, are you all right?
I'm coming for you, Leonard!
Copy !req
1964. I'm here for you, Leonard.
I'm here for you.
Copy !req
1965. Who... Who are you?
Copy !req
1966. It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
Copy !req
1967. Oops, sorry,
I kicked your barrette.
Copy !req
1968. Sorry, honey!
Copy !req
1969. You guys were Fuji
and Tanaka out there.
Copy !req
1970. This is just like high school.
Copy !req
1971. Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up
back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
Copy !req
1972. Except for
the drunk part, Mommy.
Copy !req
1973. Oh.
Copy !req
1974. Oh, all you guys together
brings back so many memories.
Copy !req
1975. Whoa, Dickie,
is this you and Lenny?
Copy !req
1976. Let's see.
Copy !req
1977. Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.
Copy !req
1978. Yep.
What happened?
Copy !req
1979. What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
Copy !req
1980. We kind of
drifted apart, right?
Copy !req
1981. Yeah. He was in
those smart classes.
Copy !req
1982. I was in the other classes.
Copy !req
1983. Hey, who's this guy?
Copy !req
1984. - Anybody remember him?
- Who is that?
Copy !req
1985. Wow, what happened to that kid?
Copy !req
1986. He's still here.
Copy !req
1987. Why do I know my new kid's gonna
end up looking like that?
Copy !req
1988. You're having a baby, Lenny?
Copy !req
1989. Yeah.
Copy !req
1990. Yeah, so I'm told,
Mrs. Lamonsoff.
Copy !req
1991. Oh, a surprise, huh?
Copy !req
1992. Yes.
Copy !req
1993. People today try to
plan things out so much.
Copy !req
1994. But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
Copy !req
1995. than one you planned for.
Copy !req
1996. Someday, Lenny,
you won't even remember
Copy !req
1997. what life was like
with just three children.
Copy !req
1998. You think we wanted Eric?
Copy !req
1999. He was an accident.
Mama.
Copy !req
2000. His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
Copy !req
2001. You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
Copy !req
2002. I'm turning the page.
Copy !req
2003. Finish the story!
Copy !req
2004. Officer Dante's
passed out on our lawn.
Copy !req
2005. I know. I saw him
trying to arrest an anthill.
Copy !req
2006. Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
Copy !req
2007. Mmm.
Copy !req
2008. It's okay.
We'll talk tomorrow.
Copy !req
2009. Okay.
Copy !req
2010. Okay, you go to sleep. I'll make
this between me and the baby.
Copy !req
2011. Hello in there.
Copy !req
2012. This is your daddy speaking.
Copy !req
2013. I just want to tell you
welcome to the family,
Copy !req
2014. and I love you very,
very, very much.
Copy !req
2015. I really don't care if
you're a boy or girl.
Copy !req
2016. I just need you to
promise me one thing.
Copy !req
2017. When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
Copy !req
2018. so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
Copy !req
2019. Hey.
Copy !req
2020. I knew that was coming.
Copy !req
2021. To be honest, I don't need
no stinking ballet teacher.
Copy !req
2022. I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
Copy !req
2023. your mommy.
Copy !req
2024. Are you saying
sweet things to me
Copy !req
2025. because you want
to fool around?
Copy !req
2026. That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
Copy !req
2027. Okay, Mr. Romantic.
Copy !req
2028. But let's do this quick,
Copy !req
2029. we have a big
day tomorrow, okay?
Copy !req
2030. Absolutely.
Copy !req
2031. Watch your head in there.
Copy !req
2032. Whoo!
Copy !req
2033. Hang on.
Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
Copy !req
2034. Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
Copy !req
2035. I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
Copy !req
2036. Lenny, grow up!
Copy !req
2037. I did it for the baby!
Copy !req