1. RAND".
Friends, let me introduce myself.Copy !req
2. Peltzer's the name.
Rand Peltzer.Copy !req
3. That's me there on the corner.Copy !req
4. I'm an inventor.Copy !req
5. And I have a story to tell.Copy !req
6. I know.
Who hasn't got a story?Copy !req
7. Well, nobody's got a story
like this one.Copy !req
8. Nobody.Copy !req
9. It all started here in Chinatown.Copy !req
10. I was trying
to move a little merchandise...Copy !req
11. maybe find a present
for my kid.Copy !req
12. I tried this one place.Copy !req
13. Wait a minute.Copy !req
14. What's down here?Copy !req
15. This is it.Copy !req
16. This is your grandfather's store?Copy !req
17. Come on.Copy !req
18. No wonder you gotta drag
people in off the street.Copy !req
19. Go ahead, mister.
Look around.Copy !req
20. See if there's something you like.Copy !req
21. Are these things real?Copy !req
22. I told you, everything's real.Copy !req
23. You do have
interesting artifacts here...Copy !req
24. but there's one thing
you don't have.Copy !req
25. And what's that?Copy !req
26. Let me show you.
I'm an inventor. I made this.Copy !req
27. The Bathroom Buddy.
The invention of the century.Copy !req
28. It eliminates the need to carry
heavy luggage when you travel.Copy !req
29. You got yourself
your shaving mirror...Copy !req
30. your toothbrush, a toothpick.
You got toenail clippers...Copy !req
31. a nail file...Copy !req
32. and you got yourself
a dental mirror.Copy !req
33. This is gonna revolutionize traveling.Copy !req
34. Let's just say,
for the sake of argument...Copy !req
35. that you're on a bus,
a plane or a train.Copy !req
36. You forgot to brush your teeth.Copy !req
37. You got yourself a bad case
of dragon breath.Copy !req
38. Bad breath.Copy !req
39. What do you do?Copy !req
40. No problem, friend.
All you do is...Copy !req
41. you take your toothbrush out...Copy !req
42. and you push this button.Copy !req
43. That's absolutely no problem.Copy !req
44. Cleans up easily.Copy !req
45. What I'd like to do, sir,
is give you my card.Copy !req
46. Rand Peltzer. "Fantastic Ideas
for a Fantastic World."Copy !req
47. I make the illogical logical.Copy !req
48. I can get you these.Copy !req
49. I can get them by the dozen
if you'd like.Copy !req
50. What do you think?Copy !req
51. What do you think?Copy !req
52. Where's that coming from?Copy !req
53. What is that?Copy !req
54. BOY '.
Mogwai.Copy !req
55. What's he doing?Copy !req
56. Singing.Copy !req
57. He does that sometimes.Copy !req
58. I gotta have him.
He's incredible.Copy !req
59. Tell you what I'll do.Copy !req
60. - I'll give you $100 for him.
No.Copy !req
61. I've gotta have him. It's
a present for my son for Christmas.Copy !req
62. It's what I've been looking for.Copy !req
63. I've been everywhere.
I'll give you $200.Copy !req
64. That's $200!Copy !req
65. I'm sorry.Copy !req
66. Mogwai not for sale.Copy !req
67. You said everything here was for sale.Copy !req
68. Grandfather!Copy !req
69. With mogwai comes much responsibility.Copy !req
70. I cannot sell him at any price.Copy !req
71. Wait outside. I'll be right out.Copy !req
72. Just go.Copy !req
73. Okay, mister, here it is.Copy !req
74. What about your grandfather?Copy !req
75. Forget what he said. He's crazy.
We need the money.Copy !req
76. Do you want it or not?Copy !req
77. I want it.Copy !req
78. There's three rules
you've gotta follow.Copy !req
79. RAND".
What kind of rules?Copy !req
80. BOY".
Keep him out of the light.Copy !req
81. He hates bright light,
especially sunlight.Copy !req
82. It'll kill him.Copy !req
83. And keep him away from water.
Don't get him wet.Copy !req
84. But the most important rule,
the rule you can never forget...Copy !req
85. no matter how much he cries
or how much he begs...Copy !req
86. never, never feed him
after midnight. Got it?Copy !req
87. RAND".
Sure. Whatever you say.Copy !req
88. Thanks.
And have a merry Christmas.Copy !req
89. You're rolling with
Rockin' Ricky Rialto...Copy !req
90. the voice of Kingston Falls, U.S.A.!Copy !req
91. Alex...Copy !req
92. Getting close to Christmas.Copy !req
93. You'll get stuck
with a lot of trees again.Copy !req
94. I thought I'd see you about now.
Ow!Copy !req
95. What the hell is this?Copy !req
96. What are you doing in there?Copy !req
97. Don't ask.Copy !req
98. Alex, I came to get my tree.Copy !req
99. Pete, take that tree
to Mr. Anderson's truck.Copy !req
100. What do you say, Alex?Copy !req
101. You can spare one
for the sheriff's station.Copy !req
102. I paid for mine, Frank.Copy !req
103. Billy, you need a jump?Copy !req
104. No, thanks, Mr. Futterman.
I'm late for work as it is.Copy !req
105. These goddamn foreign cars
always freeze up on you.Copy !req
106. You don't find American
machinery doing that.Copy !req
107. See that plow?Copy !req
108. Hasn't given me a day's trouble
in 15 years.Copy !req
109. You know why?
Kentucky Harvester.Copy !req
110. It ain't some foreign piece of crap.
That's a Kentucky Harvester.Copy !req
111. If I wanna keep my job,
I should be going now.Copy !req
112. How's your comic strip coming?Copy !req
113. I expect to see you in the funnies
with "Smilin' Jack,"Li'l Abner."Copy !req
114. They don't run those comics anymore.Copy !req
115. They don't?Copy !req
116. Come on, Barn.Copy !req
117. Say hello to your wife, okay?Copy !req
118. So long, Billy.Copy !req
119. Goddamn foreign cars.Copy !req
120. Hey, doctor.Copy !req
121. Morning, Billy.Copy !req
122. Morning, Torn.
Hey, Billy. Barney.Copy !req
123. Get in there and be quiet.Copy !req
124. - You just made it.
- Again.Copy !req
125. Will you sign this petition?Copy !req
126. Sure. What's it for?Copy !req
127. To declare Dorry's pub a landmark.Copy !req
128. Mrs. Deagle's trying to take
his lease away.Copy !req
129. His too?Copy !req
130. Yeah, she says it's a dive,
a public nuisance.Copy !req
131. That's where my dad
proposed to my mom.Copy !req
132. That's where everybody's dad
proposed to their mom. Cross yourCopy !req
133. Thanks.Copy !req
134. Good morning, Mrs. Deagle.Copy !req
135. What's good about it?Copy !req
136. Klutz!Copy !req
137. Watch it, watch it!Copy !req
138. 40, 60, 80...Copy !req
139. Two hundred. Thank you.Copy !req
140. - Mrs. Deagle?
- What?Copy !req
141. I just wanted you to know
that Joe got another job.Copy !req
142. My husband, Joe Harris.Copy !req
143. And I've taken up some sewing.Copy !req
144. What are you trying to tell me?Copy !req
145. Neither of us will be paid
for two weeks.Copy !req
146. Couldn't you get Mr. Corben...Copy !req
147. to give us a little more time?Copy !req
148. Mrs. Harris...Copy !req
149. the bank and I have
the same purpose in life...Copy !req
150. to make money.Copy !req
151. Not to support a lot of...Copy !req
152. deadbeats.Copy !req
153. MRS.
Mrs. Deagle, it's Christmas!Copy !req
154. Now you know what to ask Santa for,
don't you?Copy !req
155. Mommy, I'm hungry.Copy !req
156. Yes, honey. So am I.Copy !req
157. This is what's left
of my imported Bavarian snowman.Copy !req
158. Your dog broke it this morning!Copy !req
159. I'm terribly sorry.Copy !req
160. Tell me how much I owe you—Copy !req
161. I don't want money.Copy !req
162. I want your dog.Copy !req
163. Barney?Copy !req
164. Give him to me.Copy !req
165. I'll take him to the kennel.
They'll put him to sleep.Copy !req
166. It'll be quick and painless,
compared to what I could do to him.Copy !req
167. What could you do?Copy !req
168. I'll catch the beast myself.Copy !req
169. Then he'll get what he deserves.Copy !req
170. A slow, painful death.Copy !req
171. Maybe I'll put him in my spin dryer
on high heat.Copy !req
172. That'd do it.Copy !req
173. Barney!Copy !req
174. Barney!Copy !req
175. Barney, will you get off of her?Copy !req
176. My dear lady, are you all right?Copy !req
177. I have a very weak heart.
I can't stand a shock like that!Copy !req
178. What is that dog doing in here?Copy !req
179. This is a bank, not a pet store.Copy !req
180. Very good, Gerald.Copy !req
181. He wouldn't hurt you.Copy !req
182. Excuses, excuses.
You're just like your father.Copy !req
183. I've listened to his excuses
for 10 years, the loser!Copy !req
184. As for you, you mangy cur...Copy !req
185. I'll get you...Copy !req
186. when you least expect it!Copy !req
187. Oh, my heart!Copy !req
188. I must apologize
for this most unusual...Copy !req
189. You putz.Copy !req
190. The old bat never looked better.Copy !req
191. It's great. You're doing fine.Copy !req
192. Thanks.Copy !req
193. Hello, Gerald.Copy !req
194. If it isn't Captain Clip-on.Copy !req
195. Guess who almost applied
for unemployment today?Copy !req
196. - I give up.
- You.Copy !req
197. But Mr. Corben had second thoughts.Copy !req
198. He gets so sentimental
about the holidays.Copy !req
199. Imagine that.Copy !req
200. I would've fired you in a second.Copy !req
201. Merry Christmas to you too.Copy !req
202. Excuse me, Mr. Jones.Copy !req
203. Hey, Peltzer.Copy !req
204. Look, I'm a junior
vice president at 23.Copy !req
205. By the time I'm 25,
I'm gonna have Mr. Corben's job.Copy !req
206. By the time I'm 30,
I'll be a millionaire.Copy !req
207. Look at you.Copy !req
208. You're practically supporting
your whole family.Copy !req
209. The world's changing.Copy !req
210. You gotta change with it.
You gotta be tough.Copy !req
211. Tough? And no one's
tougher than you, Ger?Copy !req
212. Don't call me that.
My name's Gerald.Copy !req
213. Can I get you a drink?Copy !req
214. Give me a vodka martini.
Shake, don't stir.Copy !req
215. You work here?Copy !req
216. Weeknights so Dorry doesn't
have to pay an extra waitress.Copy !req
217. That's great.Copy !req
218. Yeah, that's swell, if you
like working for nothing.Copy !req
219. Two more rounds for the pool table,
on the house.Copy !req
220. You haven't seen my new apartment.Copy !req
221. I haven't seen your old apartment.Copy !req
222. We're talking cable.
Can we have dinner tomorrow night?Copy !req
223. I'm working.Copy !req
224. Why don't you tell Dorry
you're sick? He can't dock your pay.Copy !req
225. Billy, is that you?Copy !req
226. Yeah, Mom, it's me.Copy !req
227. I'm in the kitchen.Copy !req
228. Merry Christmas!Copy !req
229. Merry Christmas, movie house!Copy !req
230. Merry Christmas, emporium!Copy !req
231. - Hi, Mom.
- Hi, sweetie.Copy !req
232. Do you need any help?Copy !req
233. Yeah, you could do the eggs.Copy !req
234. Thanks.Copy !req
235. Dad's machines work so well
the first couple of weeks, then...Copy !req
236. Use the sink.Copy !req
237. Is something wrong?Copy !req
238. No, it's a sad movie.Copy !req
239. How was your day?Copy !req
240. It was fine.Copy !req
241. Come on, what is it?
What's wrong?Copy !req
242. Mrs. Deagle called again
this afternoon.Copy !req
243. Let's not talk about it now.
Don't say anything to Dad.Copy !req
244. Fine with me.Copy !req
245. Hi, sweetheart!Copy !req
246. - Welcome home.
- Hey, Dad.Copy !req
247. I'm glad you're back.
How was the trip?Copy !req
248. It was great.Copy !req
249. The Miracle Company, who has
the Kitchen Companion...Copy !req
250. might be interested
in the Bathroom Buddy.Copy !req
251. Great!Copy !req
252. - Thanks!
- You'll like this.Copy !req
253. What is it? A birdcage?Copy !req
254. No, don't shake it. Open it now.
It won't wait till Christmas.Copy !req
255. It's a puppy, isn't it?Copy !req
256. Yeah, I can tell.Copy !req
257. It's a new car.Copy !req
258. - Honey, would you dim the lights?
- Sure.Copy !req
259. Dim the lights?
Does it glow in the dark?Copy !req
260. It's important. Trust me.Copy !req
261. Go ahead, open it.Copy !req
262. What is it?Copy !req
263. It's your new pet.Copy !req
264. Come on, Barney.
Be a good dog.Copy !req
265. You're kidding.Copy !req
266. Dad, it's really neat.Copy !req
267. Where'd you get this?Copy !req
268. Some little junk store in Chinatown.Copy !req
269. - Can I pick him up?
- Sure, go ahead. Just be careful.Copy !req
270. - You gotta be gentle.
- I will.Copy !req
271. I hope he's housebroken.Copy !req
272. Isn't he cute?Copy !req
273. Has it got a name?Copy !req
274. RAND".
Mogwai.Copy !req
275. - What?
Mogwai.Copy !req
276. Some Chinese word.
I just call him...Copy !req
277. Gizmo.
He seems to like it.Copy !req
278. Look up here a minute.Copy !req
279. We're getting our picture taken.Copy !req
280. Smile.Copy !req
281. Ready?Copy !req
282. One, two, three...Copy !req
283. No, no.
Bright light!Copy !req
284. What happened?Copy !req
285. He hates bright lights.Copy !req
286. There's some important things
I forgot to tell you.Copy !req
287. Number one, he hates bright lights.
You gotta keep him out of the sunlight.Copy !req
288. Sunlight Will kill him.Copy !req
289. Number two, keep him
away from water.Copy !req
290. Don't give him any water to drink.
Whatever you do, don't give him a bath.Copy !req
291. And the most important thing...Copy !req
292. don't ever feed him
after midnight.Copy !req
293. Shh!Copy !req
294. Looks like you hurt yourself.Copy !req
295. Light bright! Light bright!Copy !req
296. Just sit down there
and don't fall off, okay?Copy !req
297. I'll get you fixed up in no time.Copy !req
298. All right.Copy !req
299. Hold still.Copy !req
300. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
301. Try not to move so much, okay?Copy !req
302. Good night, Giz.
I'll see you in the morning.Copy !req
303. Hello!Copy !req
304. Mrs. Peltzer?Copy !req
305. I got a tree!Copy !req
306. Oh, Christ!Copy !req
307. Billy!Copy !req
308. I just brought in
your Christmas tree.Copy !req
309. What happened?Copy !req
310. Slight problem
with the Peltzer Peeler-Juicer.Copy !req
311. I thought your dad fixed it.Copy !req
312. I thought so too.Copy !req
313. You should just buy orange juice
in cartons. It's a lot easier.Copy !req
314. See, it works.Copy !req
315. I had to come.
SO I See.Copy !req
316. Now I can see. It takes...Copy !req
317. a certain kind of guy.Copy !req
318. And that guy needs
a certain kind of dame.Copy !req
319. It's no problem, Pete.
Leave it up here.Copy !req
320. What'll you tell him?Copy !req
321. I'll just tell him a bunch of
bikers stole it from me on my way home.Copy !req
322. Wow! The Hooded Menace.
Issue number one!Copy !req
323. Pretty neat, huh?Copy !req
324. Where'd you get it?Copy !req
325. Dr. Fantasy's, I think.Copy !req
326. - What's that?
- Come here. I'll show you.Copy !req
327. This is my new pet.
My dad gave him to me.Copy !req
328. Neat! What's his name?Copy !req
329. His name's Gizmo. Hi, Giz.Copy !req
330. He's a mogwai.Copy !req
331. Cute!Copy !req
332. Blink your eyes.Copy !req
333. Go like that.
Can you do that?Copy !req
334. Watch. Maybe he'll sing.Copy !req
335. Come on, Giz.
Let's go over to the table.Copy !req
336. I'll be careful.Copy !req
337. There we go.Copy !req
338. Gee, Billy, where
can I get one of those?Copy !req
339. I don't know.
This is the only one I've ever seen.Copy !req
340. Can I hold him?Copy !req
341. Sure. I don't see why not.
He seems to like you.Copy !req
342. Great! Thanks a lot.Copy !req
343. Sorry.Copy !req
344. What was in that jar?Copy !req
345. Nothing! Just water!Copy !req
346. Why is he making that noise?Copy !req
347. What is it?Copy !req
348. I don't know.Copy !req
349. Is it alive?Copy !req
350. I don't know.Copy !req
351. One, two, three,
four, five new ones.Copy !req
352. Now can I have one?Copy !req
353. I don't know.Copy !req
354. Look, that one's got
a cute stripe on its head.Copy !req
355. Isn't that incredible, Pete?Copy !req
356. Yeah, great.Copy !req
357. Don't you think this—?
This is incredible!Copy !req
358. Oh, it is neat.Copy !req
359. I'm serious. It's neat.Copy !req
360. Gizmo, what's the matter?Copy !req
361. - No, no, no.
- Hey, Dad?Copy !req
362. - There's something I should tell you.
- Look.Copy !req
363. You're familiar
with the Bathroom Buddy?Copy !req
364. I have made an improvement.Copy !req
365. Watch this.Copy !req
366. Now, let's say you're
late for the big meeting.Copy !req
367. It's really important.Copy !req
368. You're on your way. You reach up.
You forgot to shave.Copy !req
369. What're you gonna do?
Under normal circumstances...Copy !req
370. you are in trouble.Copy !req
371. But not if you have
the Bathroom Buddy.Copy !req
372. Watch this.Copy !req
373. What do you think?Copy !req
374. That's pretty neat.Copy !req
375. What's this button?Copy !req
376. - Sorry, Dad.
- It's okay.Copy !req
377. I'm sorry.Copy !req
378. It's not your fault. I'm working
on that. I haven't finished that.Copy !req
379. I came up here because
there's a problem with the mogwai.Copy !req
380. Yeah, what's that?Copy !req
381. It multiplies with water.Copy !req
382. What?Copy !req
383. Do you see what I mean?Copy !req
384. I don't believe that.Copy !req
385. All that from water?
They got wet?Copy !req
386. Plain water.Copy !req
387. It's funny.
The new ones aren't like Gizmo.Copy !req
388. The striped one
seems to be the leader.Copy !req
389. You know what?Copy !req
390. I'll bet every kid in America
would like one of these.Copy !req
391. They might replace
the dog as the family pet.Copy !req
392. Think about it.Copy !req
393. The Peltzer Pet.Copy !req
394. This could really be the big one.Copy !req
395. Barn?Copy !req
396. Barney?Copy !req
397. Barney?Copy !req
398. Barney, who did this to you?Copy !req
399. Hold on, I'll get you down.Copy !req
400. Stay still.Copy !req
401. Poor dog. Another minute
and he would've been a dog-sicle.Copy !req
402. All I know is that I'm positive
that I closed and locked the door.Copy !req
403. How else did she get to him?Copy !req
404. We can't point any fingers,
not even at Mrs. Deagle.Copy !req
405. She's been threatening him.
She'd love to get her hands on him.Copy !req
406. We don't have proof. We can't even
find footprints leading up to the house.Copy !req
407. I'm gonna take Barney
to your grandmother's.Copy !req
408. Take him there on the way to the
convention, pick him up on the way home.Copy !req
409. He'll be here for Christmas.
It'll be all right.Copy !req
410. I don't think we can drink this.Copy !req
411. Why not?Copy !req
412. What's wrong with this?Copy !req
413. Hey, Billy.Copy !req
414. Is that a mogwai?Copy !req
415. Yeah, I'm gonna have
Mr. Hanson check it out.Copy !req
416. And all of a sudden, there were
five new ones like this one.Copy !req
417. Now watch this.Copy !req
418. Can I keep one of these here,
run some tests on him?Copy !req
419. I think I can spare one.Copy !req
420. This is some Christmas,
Katie, I'll tell you.Copy !req
421. First the old bat closes the factory,
and now it's my goddamn plow.Copy !req
422. Mr. Futterman, guess what?
It's time to go home now.Copy !req
423. - How about one more beer?
- No, it's late.Copy !req
424. One more beer,
I'll help you clean up.Copy !req
425. No, thanks, though.
It'll be okay.Copy !req
426. - It'll be okay.
- It will not be okay.Copy !req
427. I brought my plow in for a tune-up
and found it loaded with foreign parts.Copy !req
428. I mean, everything.
Gaskets, pistons, spark plugs.Copy !req
429. All of it's foreign.Copy !req
430. Billy!
Hi.Copy !req
431. Going home?Copy !req
432. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
433. Gremlins!Copy !req
434. You gotta watch out for foreigners.Copy !req
435. They plant gremlins
in their machinery.Copy !req
436. The same gremlins brought down
our planes in the big one.Copy !req
437. That's right.Copy !req
438. World War ll.Copy !req
439. Good old...Copy !req
440. W-W-I-|.Copy !req
441. They're still shipping them over here.Copy !req
442. They put them in the cars, the TV.Copy !req
443. They put them in the radios
you stick in your ears.Copy !req
444. They put them in the watches.
Little teeny gremlins.Copy !req
445. It's not a good idea that you drive.
Why don't you walk home?Copy !req
446. You know, Katie, I think
maybe I'll walk home.Copy !req
447. - Good.
- It's a nice night.Copy !req
448. - Good night, kids.
- Good night.Copy !req
449. Gremlins.Copy !req
450. That was really good,
the way you handled Mr. Futterman.Copy !req
451. I'm used to it.Copy !req
452. He's been like that
ever since he lost his job.Copy !req
453. He's like a lot of people around here.
He just wants somebody to listen.Copy !req
454. Especially around the holidays.Copy !req
455. Why is that?Copy !req
456. It's when a lot of people
get really depressed.Copy !req
457. I always thought everyone was happy
during the holidays, no matter what.Copy !req
458. Most people are, but some aren't.Copy !req
459. While everybody else opens up presents,
they're opening up their wrists.Copy !req
460. Cheery thought.Copy !req
461. It's true. The suicide rate's
always the highest around the holidays.Copy !req
462. Now I'm depressed.Copy !req
463. Do you ever get depressed on Christmas?Copy !req
464. I don't celebrate Christmas.Copy !req
465. Are you Hindu or something?Copy !req
466. No, I just don't like to.Copy !req
467. What's not to like?
I mean, it's a lot of fun.Copy !req
468. God!Copy !req
469. Say you hate Thanksgiving,
and nobody cares.Copy !req
470. But say you hate Christmas, everybody
makes you feel like you're a leper.Copy !req
471. I'm sorry.
It's okay.Copy !req
472. I'm sorry. I'm just
a little tired and cranky.Copy !req
473. Yeah.Copy !req
474. Thanks for walking me home.Copy !req
475. No problem.Copy !req
476. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
477. Kate?Copy !req
478. I was just wondering, do you
get any free nights off from Dorry's?Copy !req
479. Thursdays.Copy !req
480. Thursdays, yeah.Copy !req
481. Because I was just wondering...Copy !req
482. if you're free this Thursday night,
maybe you'd like to go out on a date...Copy !req
483. with me?Copy !req
484. I'd love to.Copy !req
485. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
486. Well, that's great!Copy !req
487. We can talk about it
on the phone and kind of...Copy !req
488. square everything away.Copy !req
489. Good night, Billy.Copy !req
490. 'Night.Copy !req
491. Hey there.Copy !req
492. Give me your arm, boy.
Come here, come on.Copy !req
493. Give me your arm.
No, this is not gonna hurt.Copy !req
494. This isn't gonna hurt.Copy !req
495. Not a big guy like you. Come on.Copy !req
496. There you go.
See, that's not so bad. Come on.Copy !req
497. Good, good.
Oh, that's good.Copy !req
498. Just a little blood test, pal.
You'll never miss it.Copy !req
499. They're like huge seedpods!Copy !req
500. - Having fun?
- Fun!Copy !req
501. Pretty neat, huh?Copy !req
502. Neat!Copy !req
503. Yum, yum! Yum, yum!Copy !req
504. How about shutting up
for a change, okay?Copy !req
505. I already fed you.Copy !req
506. Well, it's not 12:00 yet.Copy !req
507. All right. Keep an eye on them, Giz.
I'll be back in a second.Copy !req
508. Here we go.Copy !req
509. Now maybe you guys will be quiet.Copy !req
510. You guys are really hungry.Copy !req
511. Giz, you want some?Copy !req
512. Do you want some chicken?Copy !req
513. No?Copy !req
514. All right.Copy !req
515. Yum, yum.Copy !req
516. That's it, good buddy.
Call it a night.Copy !req
517. Can't you see?
They're after you!Copy !req
518. They're after all of us!
Our wives, our children, everyone!Copy !req
519. They're here already!
You're next!Copy !req
520. You're next!
You're next! You're next!Copy !req
521. Uh-oh.Copy !req
522. Mom?
Yeah'?Copy !req
523. Mom, could you come up here, please?Copy !req
524. Then I want you to bring
the vacuum cleaner upstairs for me.Copy !req
525. What are they?Copy !req
526. Well, they're the mogwai, I guess.Copy !req
527. Except for Gizmo.Copy !req
528. Did you get them wet?Copy !req
529. No.Copy !req
530. Did you feed them
after midnight?Copy !req
531. Well, I gave them
some chicken.Copy !req
532. But I made sure that it—Copy !req
533. No, no, no. Wait a minute.Copy !req
534. I made sure...Copy !req
535. Mom?Copy !req
536. What's going on here?Copy !req
537. Yuck!Copy !req
538. What'd you say this was called?Copy !req
539. A putrid stage?Copy !req
540. Pupal. Pupal stage.Copy !req
541. Like a butterfly.Copy !req
542. Yeah, right.Copy !req
543. This is a cocoon, and inside
he's going through changes.Copy !req
544. Lots of changes.Copy !req
545. Like my mother.Copy !req
546. No, that's different.Copy !req
547. This is called a metamorphosis.Copy !req
548. It's a change in form...Copy !req
549. and in appearance.Copy !req
550. Hello?Copy !req
551. Hello? Hi, honey!Copy !req
552. No, I'm sure it works fine.Copy !req
553. I was just out on the back porch
for a second.Copy !req
554. The convention's great.Copy !req
555. I said it's great!Copy !req
556. Actually, the competition's...Copy !req
557. Sorry, miss.Copy !req
558. The competition's a little more
advanced than I expected.Copy !req
559. I was changing my oil.
Some really neat things.Copy !req
560. Oh, Rand.Copy !req
561. You've never been so far
away on Christmas Eve before.Copy !req
562. I know it's Christmas Eve.Copy !req
563. I'll do the best I can.Copy !req
564. All right. Bye-bye.Copy !req
565. MRS.
All I could get for it was $36!Copy !req
566. If there's anything I can do...
But it's completely out of my hands.Copy !req
567. I'll be delighted—Copy !req
568. Hello, Gerald.
I'm under such terrible pressure.Copy !req
569. Why don't you just
speak to Mrs. Deagle about it?Copy !req
570. Speak to Mrs. Deagle?Copy !req
571. Mrs. Deagle!Copy !req
572. Deposit this to my account.Copy !req
573. Where's that psychotic canine?Copy !req
574. Still hiding under the counter?Copy !req
575. No, I'm afraid he's on vacation.Copy !req
576. Better keep him behind locked doors,
because if I catch him...Copy !req
577. he's in for a slow death.Copy !req
578. Here's Mr. Bird's heart.Copy !req
579. Small animals lose heat
faster than large ones.Copy !req
580. Their blood must circulate
faster to keep their bodies warm.Copy !req
581. Now, in small birds...Copy !req
582. their hearts beat
about 600 times per minute.Copy !req
583. Cats, 130.Copy !req
584. Man, about 75...Copy !req
585. and a big old elephant's heart,
only 25 a minute.Copy !req
586. Hey, doc, you
got a human heart?Copy !req
587. Has he got a human heart?
Wait till you see this! Roll 10.Copy !req
588. Okay, class.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
589. If any of you wanna bring me
a present...Copy !req
590. a cassette deck wouldn't be bad.Copy !req
591. Of course, tickets to the Super Bowl
would be very nice.Copy !req
592. Mr. Hanson, wait.
Let me just talk to you for a second.Copy !req
593. Bye.Copy !req
594. Billy...Copy !req
595. It just hatched.Copy !req
596. I'll be right there.Copy !req
597. Hey there.Copy !req
598. You remember me?Copy !req
599. Remember me, don't you?Copy !req
600. I went and got you...Copy !req
601. a candy bar.Copy !req
602. I thought you might be hungry.Copy !req
603. You hungry?Copy !req
604. You should try one of these.Copy !req
605. Hey there.Copy !req
606. Come here. Don't be afraid.
There's no reason to be afraid.Copy !req
607. Where'd you go?Copy !req
608. Where are you?
I know you're in there.Copy !req
609. I know you're under there.Copy !req
610. Come on, now.Copy !req
611. You're not still angry
about that little blood test, are you?Copy !req
612. Come on out.
Take a bite. Let me see you.Copy !req
613. I just wanna see you.Copy !req
614. You try some of this now.
I know you gotta be hungry.Copy !req
615. Yum, yum.Copy !req
616. There now. Don't you feel better?Copy !req
617. Mr. Hanson?Copy !req
618. Yum, yum.Copy !req
619. Gizmo ca-ca!Copy !req
620. Billy, are you okay?
Where are you?Copy !req
621. Mom, they hatched.
Get out of the house.Copy !req
622. Phone home. Ca-ca!Copy !req
623. Mom? Mom!Copy !req
624. Yum, yum.Copy !req
625. Get out of my kitchen!Copy !req
626. Neat!Copy !req
627. Hey!Copy !req
628. - Are you all right?
- I think so.Copy !req
629. Mom, it's Stripe!Copy !req
630. - Should I get it?
- Yeah, go ahead and get it.Copy !req
631. Oh, I didn't mean that.Copy !req
632. Hello, Dr. Molinaro. Can we come in?Copy !req
633. My mom's had a bit of an accident.Copy !req
634. Be careful!Copy !req
635. What happened?Copy !req
636. Giz?Copy !req
637. Bright light! Bright light!Copy !req
638. Come here.Copy !req
639. They almost got you, huh?Copy !req
640. Climb in here.Copy !req
641. The question is
totally without meaning.Copy !req
642. Pardon me, sir. Stuff.Copy !req
643. Thick and heavy.Copy !req
644. Would 60 gallons be sufficient?Copy !req
645. I rarely use it myself, sir.
It promotes rust.Copy !req
646. Don't worry, Giz, we'll find him.Copy !req
647. Gremlins, huh?Copy !req
648. Little monsters.
- Right.Copy !req
649. - Hundreds of them?
- I'm not sure. Maybe thousands.Copy !req
650. Look, I know it sounds crazy.
I know it does.Copy !req
651. But in a matter of hours,
this town's gonna be a disaster area.Copy !req
652. You've got to warn people!Copy !req
653. - You think this kid is drunk?
- No, but you are.Copy !req
654. I am not drunk!Copy !req
655. Tell me something. Where do
these little gremlins come from?Copy !req
656. All right.Copy !req
657. My father gave me one as a present.Copy !req
658. Does your father always
give you vicious little monsters?Copy !req
659. No, they don't
start out vicious at first!Copy !req
660. Of course not.Copy !req
661. They don't!
They look like this.Copy !req
662. Could you dim the lights?Copy !req
663. Sure.Copy !req
664. Go ahead, Brent.
Dim the lights.Copy !req
665. Gusto!Copy !req
666. Right, Murray?Copy !req
667. Sheila, will you quit messing
with the TV?Copy !req
668. You have the thingy.Copy !req
669. Goddamn foreign TV.Copy !req
670. We should've got a Zenith!Copy !req
671. Foreigners.Copy !req
672. I can't get a damn thing on this!Copy !req
673. Where are you going?Copy !req
674. I'm gonna check the antenna.
Maybe the damn thing blew down.Copy !req
675. Be careful, dear.Copy !req
676. What the hell is that?Copy !req
677. - It's them!
- You're crazy!Copy !req
678. There's a real gremlin in my cab!Copy !req
679. Hello, Anderson.
Wanna mail something, do you?Copy !req
680. Just a last-minute package, Father.Copy !req
681. Be my guest.Copy !req
682. That's strange.Copy !req
683. Patriotic little fellow, ain't he?Copy !req
684. Waving the flag and everything.Copy !req
685. Be careful, Frank!
He might tear your arm off.Copy !req
686. You want me to put the cuffs on him?Copy !req
687. Tell me. How come
a cute guy like this...Copy !req
688. can turn into
a thousand ugly monsters?Copy !req
689. You see, this is before
it enters the pupal stage.Copy !req
690. It multiplies with water.Copy !req
691. Get the kid some water.
I wouldn't do that.Copy !req
692. Sheriff's office.Copy !req
693. Yeah, speaking.Copy !req
694. What?Copy !req
695. Oh, no.Copy !req
696. Yeah, sure, we'll be right over.Copy !req
697. What happened?Copy !req
698. The Futtermans.Copy !req
699. Something about a snowplow.
A freak accident.Copy !req
700. It's the creatures!Copy !req
701. The creatures are making it
look like an accident!Copy !req
702. Will you listen to me?Copy !req
703. You listen to me, kid!Copy !req
704. Go on home, take little Gizmo...Copy !req
705. sit by the fireplace
and open your Christmas presents.Copy !req
706. Attaboy.Copy !req
707. Let me drive.
No, you're drunk.Copy !req
708. You always drive!Copy !req
709. Because I'm the sheriff, asshole.Copy !req
710. Kopeck, you stop that, you bad kitty!Copy !req
711. Kopeck's a bad kitty.Copy !req
712. Ruble's a good little kitty.Copy !req
713. We'll find you something to eat.
She's a good kitty.Copy !req
714. Here we go. Here we go. Come on.Copy !req
715. All right, you stop that!Copy !req
716. Stop it!Copy !req
717. Mean kitty, you start eating
before everybody gets here.Copy !req
718. Come on, Dollar Bill.Copy !req
719. Yes, here we go, Dollar Bill.Copy !req
720. Mommy'll fix you
something good to eat.Copy !req
721. Everybody here?Copy !req
722. All right, let go of Mommy's coat.Copy !req
723. Here.Copy !req
724. Christmas carolers.Copy !req
725. I hate Christmas carolers.Copy !req
726. Screechy-voiced little glue-sniffers.Copy !req
727. I warned you brats!Copy !req
728. Ya-ya-ya! Ya-ya-ya!Copy !req
729. What are they?Copy !req
730. What are they?Copy !req
731. They're here!Copy !req
732. They've come for me!
They've come!Copy !req
733. I'm not ready.Copy !req
734. I'm not ready yet.
I'm not ready!Copy !req
735. My God, Frye!Copy !req
736. That was Mrs. Deagle.Copy !req
737. Get them off! Get them off! Help me!Copy !req
738. That's Dave Myers.
He does Santa every year.Copy !req
739. What the hell is he doing now?Copy !req
740. What's that stuff he's
got all over him?Copy !req
741. Frank, I really think
we should go now.Copy !req
742. Start the car. I'd really like
to go back to the station.Copy !req
743. Please!Copy !req
744. Frank!Copy !req
745. Jesus, Frank!Copy !req
746. What the hell are those things?Copy !req
747. It's Christmas.
What the hell's going on?Copy !req
748. Shut up, will you?Copy !req
749. I don't believe it.Copy !req
750. You're on with Rockin' Ricky! Go!Copy !req
751. PETE".
Hi, my name's Pete.Copy !req
752. These green guys are
running around wrecking things.Copy !req
753. DJ".
This is Christmas, not Halloween!Copy !req
754. Listen, gang.Copy !req
755. Rockin' Ricky's getting fed up
with this Orson Welles crap!Copy !req
756. What's that? Kitty, what's that?
Some of Rockin' Ricky fans?Copy !req
757. You're not a Rockin' Ricky fan!Copy !req
758. Sir, I notice that you're a smoker.Copy !req
759. I notice that you're a smoker.
I see the cigarettes.Copy !req
760. I noticed, here, this broken ashtray.Copy !req
761. It's very fortunate
that I happened to come by.Copy !req
762. Let me introduce myself. My name's
Randall Peltzer. I'm an inventor.Copy !req
763. "Fantastic Ideas for a Fantastic World."
I make the illogical logical.Copy !req
764. I have something here that I think
you might be interested in.Copy !req
765. Yes, sir, I do.Copy !req
766. This is...Copy !req
767. the Peltzer Smokeless Ashtray.Copy !req
768. I think this can solve
your problem here, sir.Copy !req
769. Please don't bite me!Copy !req
770. Wait a minute.Copy !req
771. You all right'?Copy !req
772. Let's get out of here!Copy !req
773. What's that?Copy !req
774. Don't worry. He's with me.
He's not one of them.Copy !req
775. What's wrong?
Why isn't the car starting?Copy !req
776. We're gonna have to
make a run for it, okay?Copy !req
777. One, two, three!Copy !req
778. They've been here too.Copy !req
779. What are these things?
Where do they come from?Copy !req
780. They're gremlins, Kate.Copy !req
781. Just like Mr. Futterman said.Copy !req
782. Now I have another reason
to hate Christmas.Copy !req
783. What are you talking about?Copy !req
784. The worst thing that ever
happened to me was on Christmas.Copy !req
785. Oh, God. It was so horrible.Copy !req
786. It was Christmas Eve.Copy !req
787. I was 9 years old.Copy !req
788. Me and Mom were decorating the tree...Copy !req
789. waiting for Dad
to come home from work.Copy !req
790. A couple hours went by.Copy !req
791. Dad wasn't home.Copy !req
792. So Mom called the office.
No answer.Copy !req
793. Christmas Day came and went,
and still nothing.Copy !req
794. So the police began a search.Copy !req
795. Four or five days went by.Copy !req
796. Neither one of us
could eat or sleep.Copy !req
797. Everything was falling apart.Copy !req
798. It was snowing outside.Copy !req
799. The house was freezing, so I went
to try to light up the fire.Copy !req
800. That's when I noticed the smell.Copy !req
801. The firemen came and
broke through the chimney top.Copy !req
802. And me and Mom were expecting
them to pull out a dead cat or a bird.Copy !req
803. And instead they pulled out my father.Copy !req
804. He was dressed
in a Santa Claus suit.Copy !req
805. He'd been climbing down the chimney...Copy !req
806. his arms loaded with presents.Copy !req
807. He was gonna surprise us.Copy !req
808. He slipped and broke his neck.
He died instantly.Copy !req
809. And that's how I found out
there was no Santa Claus.Copy !req
810. Don't worry about that smoke.
It'll stop. It's guaranteed.Copy !req
811. Barney, shut up!Copy !req
812. Don't start with me.
I got a long way to go.Copy !req
813. Shut up!Copy !req
814. Where did they all go?Copy !req
815. It'll be light soon.Copy !req
816. I bet they're all
together someplace dark.Copy !req
817. Mogwai!Copy !req
818. Shh, Gizmo.Copy !req
819. They're inside.Copy !req
820. All of them?Copy !req
821. Milk Duds.Copy !req
822. What are they doing?Copy !req
823. They're watching Snow White.Copy !req
824. And they love it.Copy !req
825. Where's the boiler room?Copy !req
826. It's in the back of the theater.Copy !req
827. Down there.Copy !req
828. Milk Duds.Copy !req
829. Yum, yum.Copy !req
830. Cover your mouth.
Don't breathe any gas.Copy !req
831. Billy!Copy !req
832. Go.Copy !req
833. Billy!Copy !req
834. Billy!Copy !req
835. - Hurry up!
- Move, Katie! Watch out!Copy !req
836. Come on!Copy !req
837. Billy...Copy !req
838. In the department store.Copy !req
839. Stripe!Copy !req
840. That's Stripe.
He's the leader.Copy !req
841. If he gets to water,
it'll start all over again.Copy !req
842. Take Giz, go back and try
and find some kind of light switch.Copy !req
843. Careful, Billy.Copy !req
844. MALE VOICE OVER P.A.:
Ward is your snowplow headquarters.Copy !req
845. FEMALE VOICE OVER P.A.:
Attention, Christmas shoppers.Copy !req
846. Saturday morning at 8:30, we'll have
Santa Claus for all the kiddies.Copy !req
847. We have the Kingston Falls...Copy !req
848. Attention, shoppers.Copy !req
849. Light bright!Copy !req
850. Bye-bye.Copy !req
851. BARBARA STANWYCK'.
It takes a certain kind of guy.Copy !req
852. CLARK GABLE". And that guy needs
a certain kind of dame.Copy !req
853. Water!Copy !req
854. Gun!Copy !req
855. It's been a rough night
for Rockin' Ricky...Copy !req
856. but he's still on the air!Copy !req
857. The Marines are standing by
with fire hoses.Copy !req
858. Billy.Copy !req
859. Gizmo ca-ca!Copy !req
860. Light bright! Light bright!Copy !req
861. What the hell is that?Copy !req
862. Your scarf.Copy !req
863. We switch to a report...Copy !req
864. from the scene of
the Christmas Eve riots.Copy !req
865. This is Lew Landers,
WDHB's Action Central News...Copy !req
866. at the site of Dorry's Tavern...Copy !req
867. or what used to be Dorry's Tavern,
in Kingston Falls...Copy !req
868. where officials blame...Copy !req
869. mass hysteria for the escalating
series of unexplained...Copy !req
870. accidents, fires and explosions
that rocked this once-peaceful town...Copy !req
871. on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
872. The bizarre demise
of Mrs. Ruby Deagle, widow...Copy !req
873. of convicted stock-swindler
Donald Deagle...Copy !req
874. Don't chew that.Copy !req
875. Don't chew.Copy !req
876. I bet he'd like
some chicken soup.Copy !req
877. Honey, this is the gentleman
who sold me the mogwai.Copy !req
878. "Sold." An interesting choice of words.Copy !req
879. Conflicting eyewitness reports
concerning "little green men"...Copy !req
880. You teach him to watch television?Copy !req
881. There was, I believe, a box.Copy !req
882. Dad...Copy !req
883. Rand, your scarf.Copy !req
884. I warned you.Copy !req
885. With mogwai comes much responsibility.Copy !req
886. But you didn't listen.Copy !req
887. And you see what happens.Copy !req
888. I didn't mean it.Copy !req
889. You do with mogwai what your society...Copy !req
890. has done with all of nature's gifts.Copy !req
891. You do not understand.Copy !req
892. You are not ready.Copy !req
893. Papa?
Yes?Copy !req
894. He has something to say to you.Copy !req
895. You understand what
he says when he speaks to you?Copy !req
896. To hear, one has only to listen.Copy !req
897. Bye, Billy.Copy !req
898. Perhaps someday you may be ready.Copy !req
899. Until then, mogwai...Copy !req
900. will be waiting.Copy !req
901. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
902. Before you go, I wanted to tell you...Copy !req
903. that I am truly sorry
for what's happened.Copy !req
904. And if you would accept it,
I'd like to...Copy !req
905. give you this small token.Copy !req
906. There's one other one.
This is an invention of mine.Copy !req
907. Smokeless Ashtray.Copy !req
908. How did you know?Copy !req
909. Man at gas station tried to sell me.Copy !req
910. Latest word in technology.Copy !req
911. Very generous of you.Copy !req
912. I'm sure it will come in handy.Copy !req
913. Bye-bye, woof-woof.Copy !req
914. RAND".
Well, that's the story.Copy !req
915. So if your air conditioner goes on the
fritz, your washing machine blows up...Copy !req
916. or your video recorder conks out...Copy !req
917. before you call the repairman...Copy !req
918. turn on the lights,
check the closets and cupboards...Copy !req
919. look under all the beds.Copy !req
920. Because you never can tell.Copy !req
921. There just might be
a gremlin in your house.Copy !req