Gone Girl (2014)

1. When I think of my wife...

2. I always think of her head.

3. I picture cracking her lovely skull...

4. unspooling her brains...

5. trying to get answers.

6. The primal questions of any marriage.

7. "What are you thinking?"

8. "How are you feeling?"

9. "What have we done to each other?"

10. The Irish prince graces us with his presence.

11. His majesty prefers not to be moistened.

12. I got you a present.

13. - I hated this game. - You loved it.

14. You loved it.

15. Thank you. I'll add it to the collection.

16. Can you pour me a bourbon?

17. What's up, Jitters?

18. Well, if you're not going to talk, I'm gonna have to fill the silence...

19. with another excruciating story by Margo Dunne.

20. I could tell you about my recent customer service experience...

21. - changing Internet service providers. - I like that one.

22. Or how about the time I saw that woman who looked exactly like my friend Monica?

23. But it wasn't Monica. It was a total stranger.

24. Who was also named Monica.

25. - Made it kind of interesting. - It's great.

26. I'm just having a bad day.

27. - Amy? - It's our anniversary.

28. - Five years. - Five?

29. That came fast.

30. And furious.

31. I'm so crazy, stupid happy.

32. I met a boy.

33. A great, sweet, gorgeous, cool-ass guy.

34. Excuse me, miss?

35. I just want you to be careful...

36. where you put down that monk-brewed Belgian wheat beer...

37. because the party's down to three Beast Lights and a bottle of Pucker.

38. It might attract some desperate characters.

39. It could. I mean, the Amish are on a Rumspringa.

40. They already relieved me of my artisanal meat platter.

41. Finally, someone tells me how to pronounce that word.

42. "Meat"?

43. Yes, "meat." One syllable.

44. Thank you. Whose beer am I about to drink?

45. Don't tell me.

46. Let's see, who's your type?

47. I don't see you sitting quietly...

48. while he bloviates on his postgrad thesis about Proust.

49. Uh-oh. Is that him?

50. Ironic hipster, so self-aware, he makes everything a joke.

51. I prefer men who are funny, not "funny."

52. What type are you?

53. Corn-fed, salt-of-the-earth Missouri guy.

54. Missouri?

55. Cute.

56. - Native New Yorker? - The world ends at the Hudson.

57. What's your name?

58. Amy.

59. Well, Amy, who are you?

60. A, I'm an award-winning scrimshander.

61. B, I'm a moderately influential warlord.

62. C, I write personality quizzes for magazines.

63. Okay. Your hands are far too delicate for real scrimshaw work...

64. and I happen to be a charter subscriber to Middling Warlord Weekly...

65. so I'd recognize you.

66. I'm gonna go with "C."

67. And you?

68. Who are you?

69. I'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.

70. So, you write for a men's magazine.

71. God, does that make you an expert on being a man?

72. No.

73. It's what to wear, what to drink.

74. How to bullshit.

75. Never with you.

76. Ha, ha.

77. No, I mean it.

78. It's hard to believe you.

79. Why?

80. I think it's your chin.

81. My chin?

82. Yeah, it's quite villainous.

83. Okay, how's this?

84. A hundred percent true, no bullshit.

85. Okay.

86. We all move to New York...

87. and we end up living in these little cubby holes, and that's not it.

88. Come outside. Then, you're in it.

89. You have to see this.

90. Hey.

91. I have to kiss you now.

92. Is that right?

93. I can't let you go through a sugar storm unkissed.

94. Wait a second.

95. There you go.

96. Nick Dunne...

97. I really like you.

98. So, is Amy gonna do one of those anniversary...

99. treasure hunts?

100. You mean the forced march designed to prove...

101. what an oblivious and uncaring asshole her husband is?

102. Wow.

103. Life. I don't remember the point.

104. Deep Hasbro thoughts.

105. Spin.

106. What was the clue last year she got so mad about?

107. "When your poor Amy has a cold...

108. "this dessert just must be sold."

109. The answer?

110. I still don't know the answer, Go.

111. - A few years ago, you'd have known. - A few years ago, it was fun.

112. Year one, the traditional gift was paper.

113. She got me a beautiful notebook. Told me to go write my novel.

114. What did you get her?

115. A kite.

116. - She'd never flown a kite. - Okay.

117. Anyway. Year four, flowers.

118. She led me outside to the dying rosebush in the backyard.

119. That's symbolic.

120. Yeah.

121. What's the gift for five?

122. Wood.

123. - So, what did you get her? - There's no good gift for wood.

124. I know! Go home, fuck her brains out, slap her with your penis.

125. "There's some wood for you, bitch."

126. The Bar.

127. Why, yes. Hang on one second.

128. Hey, it's Watchful Wally.

129. Hey, Walt. What's going on?

130. Thanks very much. I'll be right there. All right, bye-bye.

131. Hey, buddy. What are you doing out here?

132. Thanks, Walt!

133. Ame?

134. Amy!

135. Hello?

136. Come on in.

137. Hey.

138. - Mister Dunne. - Hi.

139. I'm Detective Rhonda Boney. This is Officer James Gilpin.

140. We understand there are concerns about your wife.

141. I don't know where my wife is. And I came home to this.

142. Now, I don't panic easily...

143. but it's weird, right?

144. Mind if we look around?

145. Please.

146. How long have you two been here?

147. Two years in September. We used to live in New York.

148. City?

149. Yeah, I was a writer. We were both writers.

150. Why did you all move back here?

151. My mom got sick.

152. Oh, I'm sorry. How is she?

153. She's dead.

154. I'm so sorry.

155. What do you do now, for work?

156. My sister Margo and I own The Bar downtown.

157. Oh, The Bar.

158. Love the name. Very meta.

159. Thanks.

160. Pretty things.

161. Stay.

162. My office, here.

163. Beautiful dress.

164. Date night?

165. It's our anniversary.

166. It's a guest bedroom, there.

167. Cat's room on the end.

168. I checked up here.

169. This is the kitchen...

170. obviously.

171. This is my wife's office.

172. Amy's office.

173. Wow. Impressive gal.

174. Yeah. Should I be concerned?

175. I remember these.

176. I loved these books.

177. Wait a minute.

178. Your wife is Amazing Amy?

179. Yeah. She is.

180. Wow.

181. Amazing-fucking-Amy is getting fucking married.

182. That's how the night started.

183. With me, regular, flawed, real Amy, jealous, as always, of the golden child.

184. Perfect, brilliant, Amazing Amy, who's getting fucking married.

185. When I was 10, I quit cello.

186. In the next book, Amazing Amy became a prodigy.

187. Did you play volleyball?

188. I got cut, freshman year.

189. She made varsity.

190. When did you have a dog?

191. She got the dog.

192. Puddles made her more relatable.

193. Wow.

194. I love your parents...

195. but they really can be assholes.

196. - Nick! - Sir!

197. Hey, thanks for coming, man.

198. No problem.

199. Hey, sweetheart.

200. Big night for your mom.

201. It would mean so much if you would talk to a few reporters...

202. bloggers, give them a little Amy color.

203. People wanna hear from you.

204. - We can't stay long. - Fantastic.

205. Fifteen minutes, tops.

206. This is why I have my brownstone. My trust fund. I know I can't complain.

207. Your parents literally plagiarized your childhood.

208. No, they improved upon it, and then peddled it to the masses.

209. I thought you were gonna wear white to match the wedding theme.

210. I thought that would be creepy.

211. "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing..."

212. Hold up! I know how this ends. Don't tell me.

213. You're very cute, Nick.

214. Amy, you know what would make Dad's night.

215. I'm on it.

216. I love having strangers pick at my scabs.

217. I'm curious whether...

218. it's difficult for you to see Amazing Amy heading down the aisle.

219. And this big party celebrating this fictional wedding.

220. Because it's my understanding you are not married.

221. Is that correct?

222. Correct. Amazing Amy has always been one step ahead of me.

223. Excuse me. I'm sorry, I just have a few questions.

224. It's you.

225. I'm here in a strictly journalistic capacity.

226. Now, you had the distinct pleasure of dating Nick Dunne for how long?

227. - Two magical years. - Two magical years.

228. In the course of that time, you've had the opportunity...

229. to perform such gracious gestures as...

230. not correcting Nick when he pronounced "quinoa" as "kween-o-a."

231. An understandable mistake.

232. He also thought it was a fish.

233. He thinks Velveeta is a cheese.

234. You also manage to appear shocked and delighted...

235. when Nick's elderly mother breaks into an impromptu rendition...

236. of New York, New York, every time she sees you.

237. These bag of bone shoes

238. That's just frightening.

239. You also bought Nick his very first pair of scissors.

240. And matching stapler.

241. Amy Elliott, you are more than amazing.

242. You are brilliant, yet entirely un-snobby.

243. You challenge me. You surprise me.

244. And, fun fact for the readers...

245. you have a world-class vagina.

246. My colleagues tell me that you are not yet married.

247. Is that correct?

248. I'm not.

249. Isn't it time we fixed that?

250. And then...

251. the night wasn't so bad anymore.

252. And it's done. Crossed off the list.

253. Now, normally, we would not treat this as a missing persons case so quick...

254. but given the scene at your house...

255. and given our spike in violent crime of late...

256. we are gonna take this very, very seriously.

257. Okay. Good.

258. We've got forensics over at your place. You got somewhere to stay?

259. - I could stay at my sister's. - Okay.

260. We're tracking Amy's phone, her credit cards.

261. We will organize searches, put up flyers.

262. - We're gonna hold a press conference tomorrow. - You're having a press conference?

263. I wanna get the word out, right?

264. Yeah, it's just all of a sudden, I feel like I'm on a Law & Order episode.

265. Time is of the essence in these cases.

266. But, that said, do you wanna wait and call a lawyer?

267. Absolutely not. I just wanna help.

268. So, you and Amy have been here two years.

269. - You tend bar... - I own The Bar.

270. And I teach creative writing at MVCC.

271. - No kids? - Not yet.

272. So, what does Amy do most days?

273. A woman with all those degrees, what does she do?

274. I don't know. She keeps busy.

275. Doing what?

276. She's a voracious reader.

277. So, she's always got a book in her hand.

278. Well, days can get long.

279. I know a few housewives, that evening glass of wine starts coming at noon.

280. Or prescription pills.

281. Just last week, we had a soccer mom.

282. Nice lady. Got her teeth kicked in over some OxyContin.

283. Ever since that mall went bust, half the town is out of work.

284. We cannot keep up with the drug violence.

285. I'm pretty sure that's not it.

286. Has Amy got friends we can talk to?

287. No, not really.

288. No friends? This whole town?

289. She was very close with my mom, before she passed away.

290. You know, we have a pretty serious homeless problem...

291. in our neighborhood.

292. I think maybe you guys should check that out.

293. We'll look into that.

294. You got to The Bar around 11:00 today.

295. Where were you before that? Just to cross that out.

296. Well, I was home.

297. I left at 9:30, I got a cup of coffee, a newspaper.

298. I went to Sawyer Beach and read the news.

299. Did you visit with anyone there?

300. I kind of go to Sawyer Beach for the solitude.

301. So, your wife has no friends here.

302. Is she kinda standoffish?

303. Ivy League? Rubs people the wrong way?

304. She's from New York.

305. She's complicated. She's got very high standards.

306. Type A?

307. That can make you crazy if you're not like that.

308. You seem pretty laid-back. Type B.

309. Speaking of which, Amy's blood type?

310. God, I don't know. I'd have to look it up at the house.

311. You don't know if she has friends, you don't know what she does all day...

312. and you don't know your wife's blood type.

313. Sure you all are married?

314. Maybe it's type O.

315. - Where are her folks? New York? - Yeah.

316. Can they get here time for this press conference tomorrow?

317. Tomorrow? I have no idea. I haven't talked to them.

318. You haven't called your wife's parents yet?

319. You can't get a signal in this building. I've been in here talking to you.

320. Call them, please, Nick. Now.

321. Fine.

322. Should I know my wife's blood type?

323. No.

324. I apologize, Marybeth. I didn't know what was going on.

325. Now I'm at the station...

326. and the cops are at the house, and it's serious and I'm calling you.

327. There's a lot of things that are being juggled right now.

328. I'm standing right next to Detective Rhonda Boney...

329. who's the lead investigator on this and she's...

330. My mother-in-law would like to speak with you.

331. This is Detective Boney.

332. I wanna go home.

333. I don't know why I have to be here.

334. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home.

335. Dad?

336. This is my father. What's going on?

337. Really? You're Nick Dunne?

338. We've been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon.

339. I've been right there. My wife is missing.

340. - Bitch. - Don't.

341. Your father wandered out of Comfort Hill after lunch.

342. We found him walking Route 79, disoriented.

343. We've been trying to call you for the last...

344. I don't get a cell signal in this building.

345. I've been sitting 20 feet away from you.

346. Sir, please don't take that tone with me.

347. Stupid, dumb, ugly bitch.

348. Dad, stop.

349. You wanna drive him home?

350. I think that would be wise. Thanks.

351. This voice mailbox is currently full.

352. Fuck.

353. Get your fucking hands off me.

354. Thanks.

355. Everyone told us and told us and told us...

356. marriage is hard work.

357. And compromise and more work.

358. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter."

359. "When young Amy's hope did wane...

360. "she wandered here..."

361. Well, it's not true. Not for me and Nick.

362. "... in search of Jane."

363. With us, two years...

364. it's just good.

365. Austen.

366. You were an alienated teen and only Elizabeth Bennet understood you.

367. Look at that.

368. My God.

369. You naughty minx.

370. Well, technically, we are supposed to fuck at the next stop.

371. Yeah, in keeping with tradition.

372. But I might be willing to bend the rules this once.

373. God bless Jane Austen.

374. I'm enthusiastic. Look at that. It's confirmed by the...

375. Thank you.

376. Year two. Cotton.

377. We had that joke that our sex was too good for ordinary.

378. So, these are 2,000 thread-count...

379. We're so cute. I wanna punch us in the face.

380. That's pretty great. I mean, that is pretty great.

381. Did they ask if you wanted a lawyer?

382. I don't need a lawyer. Here, I'll do this.

383. Well, did they ask personal stuff about Amy?

384. You know, they asked...

385. why didn't she have any friends?

386. What did you say?

387. - I said she was complicated. - Nick!

388. Everyone knows "complicated" is code for "bitch."

389. God. I feel sick.

390. Thanks.

391. It's so bizarre.

392. It seems like the kind of thing that would happen to Amy.

393. She always attracts...

394. Drama?

395. You can say it. It's just me and you.

396. Just because I don't like to be around Amy...

397. doesn't mean I don't care about her.

398. Anyway, whoever took her is bound to bring her back.

399. Detective? Excuse me.

400. I'm Noelle Hawthorne. I'm Amy's best friend.

401. Well, great. Where do you live, Noelle?

402. Five doors down. 1032.

403. Wonderful. I would love to talk to you.

404. Can I come by in half an hour?

405. - Y'all know anything yet? - I'm sorry.

406. I got guys on the clock in here. But you give me 30 minutes.

407. But that's usually bath time.

408. Well, we'll talk in between shampoos.

409. All right. So, what do you got?

410. It was definitely blood spatter you saw in the kitchen.

411. Normally, kitchen, knives, food prep.

412. Not that weird, but that is awfully high.

413. So, I'm gonna order a luminol sweep.

414. Well, okay.

415. Interesting.

416. What's that?

417. House is rented in her name. Car's in her name.

418. Credit cards, utilities, phone bill, all in her name.

419. Even his bar's in her name.

420. I don't know that that's so surprising.

421. No. But it is humiliating.

422. What you got?

423. It's with her unmentionables.

424. Well, we have our first clue.

425. I have to take a shower.

426. No, don't. You've been up all night.

427. You wanna look like you've been up all night.

428. Hey, be careful today, okay?

429. That's a weird thing to say.

430. Well, when you're upset, you bottle up. You can seem angry, like...

431. Please don't say, "Like Dad."

432. Or else you swing into your momma's-boy charm offensive and that can feel glib.

433. Perfect.

434. I'll balance on the exact fucking edge of your emotional razor.

435. Okay. Just be...

436. Myself?

437. sponsoring a raffle to benefit West County 4H...

438. and raffling season tickets for Mizzou football.

439. Buy your tickets at the Wing Hut or local Tri-State Tire stores.

440. Your in-laws made it.

441. - Hi, Rand. - Hey, man.

442. I'm Detective Boney.

443. I'm the twin. Margo.

444. We played tennis yesterday, Nick. I just can't get over it.

445. Marybeth, I am really sorry.

446. I knew you never should have moved back here.

447. We didn't have a lot of choice.

448. We are all worried. We are all scared.

449. But we are all here now. And we will find Amy, together.

450. Should I just go first, and then you guys can say something?

451. Good.

452. As you know, my wife, Amy Elliott Dunne...

453. disappeared from our home on the morning of July 5th...

454. under suspicious circumstances.

455. Louder!

456. If anyone out there has any information...

457. please come forward.

458. Thank you.

459. I'm Rand Elliott. My wife, Marybeth Elliott.

460. Should I have said my name?

461. Amy is our only child.

462. She's bright, she's beautiful. She's kind.

463. She really is Amazing Amy.

464. You know, there are millions of people out there...

465. who grew up with her and care about her.

466. We care about her, we love her.

467. And we just want her back.

468. Amy is a decorated scholar.

469. She forged a successful career in journalism.

470. She returned here to her husband's hometown...

471. and she made a life in her adopted home.

472. Now, Amy needs your help.

473. We're establishing a volunteer headquarters at the Drury Lodge.

474. We have a hotline, 1 -855-4-AMY-TIPS.

475. And our website is www.FindAmazingAmy.com.

476. - Mr. Dunne! - Mr. Elliott!

477. Mr. Dunne, any signs of foul play?

478. Mr. Elliott, when was the last time you spoke to your daughter?

479. Smile.

480. That's all for now. Thank you.

481. Amy is the kind of girl who attracts admirers.

482. Right, Nick?

483. Yeah, definitely.

484. And we've had instances...

485. - where things got... - Scary.

486. Do you know about Desi Collings?

487. Yeah, I know all about Desi Collings.

488. He was obsessed.

489. He attempted suicide after Amy broke up with him sophomore year.

490. We had to file a restraining order.

491. This would be high school? Twenty years ago?

492. But he recently moved to St. Louis. That's just two hours away.

493. To be fair, he is from St. Louis.

494. We also have Tommy O'Hara.

495. This is only eight years ago, in New York.

496. She broke up with him, he got very physical.

497. - She filed charges. - What was the charge?

498. Sexual assault, threat, battery, what?

499. I only know it was bad.

500. - I didn't know this. - Okay.

501. Thank you.

502. Anything more recent?

503. Not that I know of.

504. Hey, Nick? You got a minute?

505. Yeah.

506. Imagine our confusion.

507. A missing persons case...

508. and in your wife's dressing room, we find an envelope marked "clue."

509. That's for our anniversary.

510. My wife does these treasure hunts.

511. I'm hoping you can tell me what this means.

512. You want to solve Amy's treasure hunt?

513. It'll help me track Amy's movements before she disappeared.

514. Of course. Okay.

515. "Although this spot couldn't be tighter...

516. "it's a cozy room for my favorite writer."

517. I know this one!

518. Although this spot couldn't be any tighter...

519. it's a cozy room for my favorite writer.

520. After-school meeting, don't mind if I do.

521. Maybe I'll teach you a thing or two.

522. Well, well. What does it say?

523. Clue two.

524. "Hey, handsome man, let's go undercover.

525. "You'll be the spy, and I'll be his lover.

526. "Let's head on over...

527. "to the little brown house.

528. "We'll play hot, doting husband, sweet, loving spouse."

529. These yours?

530. No.

531. But you read the first clue.

532. Randy professor, naughty student.

533. I blush.

534. Me and my ex just swapped cards.

535. Where's this little brown house?

536. I have no idea.

537. Hello?

538. Nicholas Dunne.

539. Under my father's name, William Dunne.

540. My wife's first pet? Is this necessary? Can you just turn the bell...

541. Yeah, I know.

542. It's... It's...

543. It's "Puddles," right? Or is it "Poodles?"

544. We're good.

545. Hello, stranger.

546. Fancy meeting you here.

547. It's your dad's house, right?

548. Are you following me?

549. What you doing?

550. Like you said, it's my dad's house.

551. I come by once a week, make sure the place hasn't burned down.

552. But it looks okay.

553. I'll walk you out.

554. You know...

555. I thought maybe this was the little brown house.

556. From the clue.

557. Nope. Still blue.

558. Picture me, I'm a girl who's very, very bad.

559. I need to be punished, and by "punished," I mean "had."

560. It's where you keep goodies for anniversary five.

561. "So open the door, and look alive."

562. Bitch!

563. Want to test your marriage for weak spots?

564. Add one recession...

565. subtract two jobs.

566. It's surprisingly effective.

567. Promise me we'll never be like them.

568. Like who?

569. All those awful couples we know.

570. Those wives who treat their men like dancing monkeys...

571. to be trained and paraded.

572. Husbands who treat their wives like the highway patrol...

573. to be out-foxed and avoided.

574. I think I'm gonna be laid off.

575. We're in a recession. If it happens, we'll deal with it.

576. I'll probably be next.

577. We have each other.

578. Everything else is background noise.

579. You are exceptional.

580. My turn.

581. My parents' publisher dropped them, and they're in debt up to their ears.

582. That's terrible.

583. And they need to borrow from my trust fund.

584. How much?

585. Almost a million.

586. That's almost all of it.

587. This is where you say, "Everything else is background noise."

588. Amy, if you're laid off...

589. and I'm laid off...

590. I said I'd do it.

591. Without talking to me?

592. - Well, it's... - Your call.

593. their money, technically.

594. You know what? You're right.

595. Everything else is just background noise.

596. Hey.

597. More games?

598. Yeah, I just wanted to shoot some folks.

599. What's the laptop for?

600. Laptop-ing.

601. I see.

602. You can give your parents $879,000 without talking to me...

603. but God forbid I buy a video game without getting your permission.

604. You are spending a lot.

605. You don't trust me. You don't trust my judgment.

606. You certainly don't trust my intention.

607. What are you talking about?

608. That's the basic tenet of a prenup, isn't it?

609. Why are you throwing that in my face again?

610. Because it's easy to throw.

611. Nick, I don't get it.

612. I don't get why you're daring me to be someone I don't wanna be.

613. The nagging shrew. The controlling bitch.

614. I'm not that person. I'm your wife.

615. I'm sorry.

616. I just don't know how to do this. I've never not had a job.

617. I flipped burgers, I painted houses.

618. You'll get another job.

619. Hi, Go.

620. What? Hold on. What?

621. - And suddenly... - Slow down, what is it?

622. I knew everything was about to get worse.

623. Okay, tell me what's wrong.

624. - Bless you, Nick. - Father.

625. Hey, Tom. Mayor!

626. Nick, good to see you.

627. Good to see you.

628. Hey, guys, hey.

629. - Jodie. - Nick.

630. Oh, we'll find her.

631. You look like hammered shit.

632. Thank you.

633. You ever see that guy in the glasses before?

634. Don't worry. We videotape everybody that comes in and out of these things.

635. I mean, you tend to get a lot of...

636. Do-gooders?

637. Freaks.

638. Hey, I meant to ask you.

639. Noelle Hawthorne?

640. She lives on your street. Amy's best friend.

641. I've never heard the name Noelle Hawthorne.

642. She and her husband have triplets.

643. Oh.

644. Yeah, we might say hi to them on the street.

645. But "best friend"? No.

646. Excuse me, one sec.

647. He acted like Noelle was a complete stranger.

648. Of course he did.

649. Look, these two are yours.

650. Oh, look. He's being a good guy...

651. so everybody can see him being a good guy.

652. You really don't like him, do you?

653. What's to like?

654. This mailbox is currently full. Press one to...

655. Nick? I just wanted to introduce myself. My name's Shawna Kelly.

656. I am so sorry for your troubles.

657. Thank you. That's kind.

658. Are you remembering to eat?

659. Well, a lot of cold cuts.

660. I'm gonna fix you up my world-famous chicken Frito pie.

661. That's very kind and very unnecessary.

662. You have to keep your strength.

663. Would you...

664. say, "Chicken Frito pie!"

665. You know what?

666. Would you delete that picture for me?

667. - It's a nice photo. - I know it is.

668. But just do me a favor.

669. Will you?

670. Would you go ahead and please delete that picture?

671. You just press...

672. What is wrong with you?

673. Could you please not share that with anyone?

674. I will share it with whomever I please.

675. - Dude. - Yeah?

676. Marybeth is pissed.

677. Why?

678. Marybeth?

679. It's like you're the goddamn Homecoming King.

680. It was important to my mother that I be polite...

681. I be considerate, I be a gentleman.

682. It looked like you were having fun.

683. I am in a nightmare!

684. All I'm trying to do is be nice...

685. to the people who are volunteering to help find Amy.

686. You're right.

687. And I'm sorry.

688. My God, this place literally smells like feces.

689. In your searches, did you find any golf clubs, real fancy?

690. No.

691. How about a brand new Stratocaster?

692. No, nothing like that.

693. Well, all right.

694. How big's that TV? It's not 65-inch.

695. No, it's nowhere near that.

696. Okay.

697. - Kibble? - Excuse me?

698. He asked me to feed his cat.

699. I saw some in the pantry.

700. Detective Boney, Officer Gilpin? Noelle Hawthorne!

701. I know y'all are in there!

702. Would you please escort Miss Hawthorne and her children back out to the street?

703. Detective Boney!

704. Just remind her it is a possible crime scene.

705. Look at that pie-eating grin, from a guy whose wife is missing.

706. - How are you doing? - Terrific.

707. How's Marybeth?

708. She's a wreck.

709. And you?

710. Awesome.

711. Hey...

712. have you told me everything?

713. Of course.

714. Everything?

715. Why would you even ask me that?

716. Ever since you walked into The Bar that morning Amy went missing, you seem...

717. - off. - I am off.

718. Everybody's examining me and projecting their shit on me.

719. All I want is to come over here, have a beer with you...

720. and not be judged.

721. Can we do that?

722. Of course.

723. You know what I keep thinking?

724. If Mom were here?

725. Yeah. Like I'm 12.

726. Nick, Mom would fix it.

727. I'm gonna go Benadryl myself to sleep.

728. - Love you. - Love you.

729. So, here's a strange, new sentence.

730. I am a Missourian.

731. Bye, Dad.

732. No money, no jobs, no prospects.

733. And then, we heard from Go.

734. Mama Maureen...

735. Stage 4 breast cancer.

736. So, we moved to Missouri.

737. I don't mind.

738. I just wish he'd asked.

739. Nick is happy to be home.

740. But I don't know if he's happy I'm with him.

741. I feel like something he loaded by mistake.

742. Something to be jettisoned, if necessary.

743. Something disposable.

744. I feel like I could disappear.

745. Oh, my God!

746. - I saw you on TV. - Okay.

747. - It's so crazy. - Yeah, I know.

748. - She just vanished? - She's just gone.

749. - I've been so worried about you. - Where have you been?

750. I called you a hundred times. You gotta pick up your phone!

751. Rehearsals.

752. What?

753. Godspell.

754. My sister's asleep in the other room.

755. I needed to see you.

756. I know this is a bad idea.

757. Can you at least tell me you love me?

758. I do love you, but we have to be really careful right now.

759. I've been so scared.

760. Between rehearsals?

761. You told me I needed to have my own life.

762. I know.

763. We need to stop.

764. I need you.

765. Touch me.

766. Stop it. Come here.

767. Sit down.

768. Okay.

769. Did you, by any chance, tell anybody anything about us?

770. Even in texting, or on Facebook.

771. Facebook? I use the disposable phone.

772. You buy my presents in cash. I'm not stupid, Nick.

773. I know, sweetie. Did you leave a pair of red panties in my office?

774. I don't know. Maybe. They better be mine.

775. Sweetheart, think.

776. I don't know. I'd have to check my red panty inventory.

777. Andie, I need you to take this seriously, okay?

778. This is the last time we're gonna see each other, until...

779. Until when?

780. Until it's safe.

781. You were going to get a divorce.

782. Never say that out loud again.

783. Okay. I'm sorry.

784. I don't wanna fight.

785. I just wanna be with you.

786. Andie, please...

787. That's all I want.

788. I can't.

789. It's our last time together.

790. Let's make the most of it.

791. Real quick, but then you have to go.

792. My husband has come undone.

793. We moved to Missouri to save Maureen...

794. but as it turns out, we couldn't.

795. It means a lot that you came.

796. We took a hit on the brownstone...

797. and I used the last of my trust fund to buy him a bar.

798. So far, it's just costing money.

799. Nick uses me for sex when he wants.

800. Otherwise, I don't exist.

801. We should go to Outback tonight.

802. That would be nice.

803. Last night, I went from desperate to pathetic.

804. I became someone I don't even like.

805. The kind of woman I used to mock.

806. You're out so much.

807. - I know. - Stay home.

808. - I can't, I'm already late. - Then, can I come?

809. You would hate it.

810. It's a bunch of my dorky high school friends.

811. Do our code. No bullshit.

812. I thought we weren't gonna be that couple.

813. Okay, bye.

814. - Hey, I've been thinking. - Yeah?

815. Something positive.

816. Maybe it's time.

817. Now is literally the worst time.

818. It would be a new start for us.

819. And for me, I would have a real purpose here.

820. A child is not a hobby.

821. Not a hobby.

822. An inspiration.

823. We could have had this fight four hours ago. I'm late.

824. I didn't know it was gonna be a fight.

825. You really wanna be the couple that has a baby to save their marriage?

826. "Save"?

827. Reboot, retool, rekindle, whatever!

828. - And you're gonna walk out the door now? - Yeah!

829. You're a fucking coward.

830. No, it can't go on like this.

831. Really?

832. - I won't. - You won't?

833. You won't? Why, it's not good enough for you?

834. It's not even close!

835. You stupid bitch!

836. What scared me wasn't that he'd pushed me.

837. What scared me was how much he wanted to hurt me more.

838. What scared me was that I'd finally realized...

839. I am frightened of my own husband.

840. You want me to call for backup?

841. Nah, I'll protect you.

842. Jesus.

843. They ought to burn this place down.

844. Seems like folks are trying.

845. You really think this is anything?

846. Cross it off the list.

847. Hey, Jason.

848. What's up, Rhonda?

849. "... and dedicated to the proposition that all men..."

850. - Have you seen this girl around here? - Why do you ask?

851. She was reported missing.

852. "... and so dedicated, can long endure."

853. Yeah. I remember her.

854. What did she want? Weed, pills?

855. She wanted a gun.

856. I told her it's not my thing.

857. I felt bad, though. She seemed really desperate.

858. She said it needed to be small, so she could keep it close.

859. Are you sure this is her?

860. You don't forget a girl like that in here.

861. She was all in pink.

862. It was Valentine's Day.

863. For Valentine's Day, I thought I'd buy a gun.

864. That is how crazy I've become.

865. Nick wants me gone but he won't ask for a divorce.

866. In his mind, I'm the owner of his bar, his only line of credit.

867. The bitch with the prenup.

868. I could go home to my parents...

869. but I'd have to tell them the truth.

870. And I don't even know if I believe the truth.

871. Can I really think Nick would hurt me?

872. I'm being paranoid. Crazy.

873. It's just...

874. I'd sleep better with a gun.

875. Oh, shit.

876. Wake up, baby. My sister's gonna come out here.

877. - Sorry to rush you. - It's okay.

878. - Here. Let me help you. - Okay.

879. Just get that.

880. Be very careful.

881. I'm all right.

882. Here you go.

883. Promise me we'll talk every day.

884. Okay, we will.

885. Every day, Nick, or I'll go crazy.

886. Don't go crazy.

887. Okay.

888. You fucking idiot.

889. You fucking asshole! You fucking lied to my fucking face!

890. I'm sorry.

891. How old is she?

892. She's in her early 20s.

893. How long?

894. - A year and a half. - You lied to me for over a year?

895. If I told you, you would have made me stop.

896. It's so fucking small.

897. You're a liar and a cheat! You're just like Dad!

898. How did you even meet her?

899. She's one of my students.

900. I thought writers hated clichés.

901. I'm not a writer.

902. "Boo-hoo, I got laid off. I guess I'll fuck a teenager."

903. It wasn't like that, okay? You have no idea how shitty it was with Amy...

904. how fucking terrible she made me feel.

905. Flyover Boy. I would get knots in my stomach...

906. just coming home, knowing she would be sitting there...

907. dissatisfied, before I even walked in the fucking door.

908. This is so bad.

909. If anybody finds out, you're totally fucked.

910. Boney found a pair of panties in my office...

911. where, occasionally, Andie and I...

912. I don't know what the fuck it means.

913. Are they Super-Twat's?

914. Her name is Andie.

915. She's not entirely sure.

916. So we are dealing with a 20-year-old...

917. who isn't sure where she leaves her undies?

918. If they're not Andie's, that means that they're Amy's...

919. and she left them there for me to find.

920. Nick, I was scared for you before, and now, I'm fucking petrified.

921. We're having a vigil tonight for your missing wife...

922. and this morning, you're kissing your college girlfriend goodbye!

923. Can you imagine?

924. Have you watched television lately?

925. Cable news is all over your shit.

926. I mean, what is wrong with this barkeep?

927. His wife's nowhere to be found...

928. and here's Nick Dunne for you, flirting. Cute pic, huh?

929. - Who is that? - Some fucking tragedy groupie.

930. - Who the fuck is that? - I don't know.

931. She was trying to give me a casserole.

932. On the show today we have defense attorney, Tanner Bolt...

933. patron saint to wife-killers everywhere.

934. Tanner Bolt, would you actually consider defending Nick Dunne?

935. Well, let me just say...

936. as always, Ellen, thank you for such a warm welcome.

937. But of course, I'd defend Nick Dunne.

938. Listen, just because this guy isn't walking around weeping...

939. that doesn't mean that he's not hurting.

940. Tanner, the hallmark of a sociopath is a lack of empathy.

941. But the truth is, you'd have to be a sociopath...

942. to behave normally in this situation...

943. because it's the most abnormal situation in the world.

944. Tanner, are you trying to tell me that this photo...

945. is remotely in the realm of acceptable behavior?

946. I'm so sick of being picked apart by women.

947. You need to hire Tanner Bolt.

948. I don't deserve this.

949. Innocent until proven guilty.

950. That's exactly what you deserve.

951. Go home, Nick.

952. Hey, buddy.

953. I can't believe we haven't arrested this guy.

954. We're not gonna arrest anybody...

955. just because some blonde dunce says so.

956. Why are you going so easy on him? You got a crush?

957. One, I am conducting an investigation, not a witch-hunt.

958. And, two, don't talk to me that way, ever.

959. She was trying to buy a gun.

960. We don't know who or what was scaring her, Gil.

961. Give me the update.

962. No drug angles panned out yet, so cross that off the list.

963. I talked to the nurses who care for Nick's father.

964. The guy's a bastard, but he's weak as a kitten, so cross that off the list.

965. - Hey. - Hey.

966. So, luminol lit up the kitchen like the 4th of July.

967. - Whoa. - Yeah.

968. The blood is profuse.

969. It is Amy's, type B, and we should have DNA soon.

970. Thoughts on a weapon?

971. Trajectory indicates blunt force.

972. Maybe a club or a two-by-four.

973. She fell there, but I doubt she got back up.

974. Amy's medical records come in?

975. No, we'll have them later tonight.

976. My wife says he's a killer.

977. Well, if Tiffany says...

978. Hey.

979. Thank you all for coming out.

980. Hey Donnie, how are you?

981. Rich, thank you so much.

982. Hey.

983. Thank you, folks. Thank you for being here tonight.

984. It just means the world to our family.

985. And to Amy.

986. As you all know...

987. my wife, Amy Elliott Dunne...

988. disappeared three days ago.

989. And I want to implore anyone who has any information at all...

990. please come forward. Help us.

991. So hot.

992. He is so creepy.

993. I wanna say something, because I think some of you might be wondering...

994. and are too polite to ask.

995. I had nothing to do with the disappearance of my wife.

996. I'm cooperating with the police.

997. I haven't hired a lawyer.

998. I have nothing to hide.

999. Amy is my soul mate.

1000. She is brilliant...

1001. she's charming, and wise.

1002. I love you, Amy.

1003. Asshole.

1004. I love my wife...

1005. so much.

1006. And I may not behave for the cameras the way they want me to...

1007. and if they wanna punish me for that, that's okay.

1008. But I just wanna ask you in the media, please, harass me...

1009. but don't harass the people of this town.

1010. If you need to mock somebody, mock me.

1011. Nick!

1012. But please don't turn this investigation into a circus.

1013. Where's your wife, Nick?

1014. Let the police do their jobs.

1015. What did you do to your pregnant wife?

1016. Did you tell them that, Nick?

1017. Did you tell them Amy was six weeks pregnant?

1018. Thank you for your support tonight. Let's find Amy.

1019. Go ahead, if you guys wanna say something.

1020. Gil, go, go.

1021. Nick, where are you going?

1022. Stop him!

1023. No questions right now. Thank you.

1024. Why are you running away?

1025. Don't run.

1026. Everybody, stay back.

1027. Guys, come on. You know better.

1028. Get off the grass, get down to the curb.

1029. - Hey, Gil... - On it.

1030. All right.

1031. All right, y'all heard her. No pictures.

1032. Hello?

1033. Fuck.

1034. You scared me. Want a drink?

1035. Did you know she was pregnant?

1036. I told you, Noelle Hawthorne is fucking crazy.

1037. She doesn't even know Amy.

1038. They look like pretty good friends to me.

1039. Look, I don't know. But it certainly doesn't prove that she's pregnant.

1040. We have her medical records coming.

1041. - Good. - So, let's talk while we wait.

1042. Let's start over here. The scene of the crime.

1043. You see, we've seen dozens of home invasions.

1044. Dozens and dozens.

1045. This area right here, it looked wrong from the second we saw it.

1046. The whole thing looked staged. Watch this.

1047. And yet, they remained upright throughout this life-and-death struggle?

1048. I don't know. What do you want me to say?

1049. Did you do any housekeeping the day your wife went missing?

1050. No.

1051. Because our guys did a luminol test.

1052. And I'm sorry to tell you, but that kitchen lit up.

1053. Amy lost a lot of blood in there, Nick. A lot.

1054. Oh, my God.

1055. Yeah, and then somebody mopped it up.

1056. Wait a second. Why would they mop up the blood...

1057. if they're trying to stage a crime scene?

1058. No blood and no body suggests kidnapping.

1059. It tells us, look at people outside the house.

1060. Like these homeless you keep mentioning.

1061. A pool of blood and no body suggests homicide.

1062. It tells us to look at people inside the house.

1063. - Which is what we're doing here, Nick. - I see.

1064. So, how was your marriage, Nick? Because right now, all we got is Noelle.

1065. She says, "Not good."

1066. Gil, what do you and your wife argue about?

1067. - What pisses you off? - Money, lack thereof.

1068. Me and my ex, it's the same.

1069. I mention that because we got a look at your finances, Nick.

1070. $117,000 in credit card debt.

1071. - What? - I pulled up some of the merchandise.

1072. There are these fun little splurges.

1073. I didn't buy any of this stuff.

1074. I don't even golf!

1075. I do! You bought great clubs.

1076. I like the robot dog.

1077. This is identity theft! This is a felony!

1078. We need to find out who did this!

1079. All right. Let's talk about life insurance.

1080. Because in April, you bumped up Amy's life insurance...

1081. to $1.2 million.

1082. Yes, I did. That was her idea. She wanted me to.

1083. You filed the paperwork.

1084. Because she told me to!

1085. Hold on a sec.

1086. Yeah? Okay.

1087. For sure?

1088. All right.

1089. She was pregnant.

1090. This is insane.

1091. So, my question becomes...

1092. I don't want to talk to you again, ever...

1093. without a lawyer.

1094. Margo!

1095. Hey.

1096. Just hold on a second. Let me finish.

1097. Nick?

1098. I hear you, I hear you. I was as surprised as...

1099. I know you're upset. I had no idea she was pregnant.

1100. Listen, I thought so, too, but evidently that wasn't...

1101. You want to know the truth?

1102. The truth is, Amy didn't want kids.

1103. Well, I'm as surprised as...

1104. You told me you didn't want kids.

1105. I was trying to put a good face on.

1106. Then, suddenly, you've got a pregnant wife.

1107. That's a problem for you.

1108. Especially when you factor in the secret teenage girlfriend.

1109. Oh, stop watching Ellen Abbott!

1110. You have to fucking talk to me!

1111. I didn't tell you that she didn't want kids because she didn't want me to.

1112. Because it would have just been another reason for you to hate her.

1113. And we had enough of those already! It was easier to just...

1114. - Lie to me? - I wanted kids!

1115. When we first moved here, I went to a fertility clinic!

1116. - It didn't work? - I did my part!

1117. Masturbate.

1118. When it came time for Amy to do her thing, all of a sudden it was like...

1119. "Well, I don't know. Maybe. No, thanks."

1120. Now, who would believe you?

1121. All right.

1122. This is a letter from the clinic...

1123. notifying me that they're gonna destroy my sample...

1124. unless I contact them.

1125. So, I gave it to Amy.

1126. The next day, I saw it in the trash.

1127. But you were already with Andie by then, right?

1128. I wanted a baby with Amy.

1129. A year ago, Amy being pregnant would have been the best thing ever!

1130. "When your poor Amy has a cold, this dessert just..."

1131. This is the clue you couldn't solve.

1132. Yeah.

1133. A letter from Desi. That creepy boyfriend of Amy's?

1134. It was the fucking rich guy who would do anything for her.

1135. It just kept hanging over my head. It was disgusting.

1136. Your prenup?

1137. Nick, why have you kept this stuff? It's like a little box of hate.

1138. I don't know, Go! Maybe I hate her!

1139. I love you no matter what.

1140. But you need to tell me.

1141. Tell you what?

1142. What are you asking me?

1143. Are you asking me if I killed my wife, Go?

1144. Is that what you're asking me? If I murdered my wife?

1145. I would never ask you that!

1146. Margo!

1147. Don't walk on the glass.

1148. You have no clue, do you?

1149. Why was he here that night?

1150. His wife is missing. Why come here?

1151. Who cares?

1152. Rhonda, we got this.

1153. Let's make the arrest.

1154. Do you know how hard it is to make a murder case without a body?

1155. No.

1156. Well, it's incredibly hard.

1157. So, I want one last thing.

1158. What's that?

1159. I want a body.

1160. Picture me. I'm a girl who's very, very bad.

1161. Be careful.

1162. I need to be punished, and by "punished," I mean "had."

1163. Fuck.

1164. It's where you keep goodies for anniversary five.

1165. So, open the door...

1166. Punish. Wood. Beach.

1167. and look alive.

1168. Punish. Wood.

1169. Wood.

1170. I will practice believing my husband loves me...

1171. and will love this baby.

1172. That this child might really save our marriage.

1173. But I could be wrong.

1174. Because sometimes...

1175. the way he looks at me...

1176. I think...

1177. man of my dreams...

1178. father of my child...

1179. this man of mine may kill me.

1180. He may truly...

1181. kill me.

1182. WTF?

1183. I am so much happier now that I'm dead.

1184. Technically, "missing."

1185. Soon to be presumed dead.

1186. Gone.

1187. And my lazy, lying, cheating, oblivious husband...

1188. will go to prison for my murder.

1189. Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity...

1190. and my hope and my money.

1191. He took and took from me until I no longer existed.

1192. That's murder.

1193. Let the punishment fit the crime.

1194. To fake a convincing murder, you have to have discipline.

1195. You befriend a local idiot.

1196. Harvest the details of her humdrum life.

1197. And cram her with stories about your husband's violent temper.

1198. Secretly create some money troubles.

1199. Credit cards, perhaps online gambling.

1200. With the help of the unwitting...

1201. bump up your life insurance.

1202. Purchase getaway car. Craigslist.

1203. Generic. Cheap. Pay cash.

1204. You need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss.

1205. And America loves pregnant women.

1206. As if it's so hard to spread your legs.

1207. You know what's hard?

1208. Faking a pregnancy.

1209. First, drain your toilet.

1210. Invite pregnant idiot into your home...

1211. and ply her with lemonade.

1212. Steal pregnant idiot's urine.

1213. Voilà.

1214. A pregnancy is now part of your legal medical record.

1215. Happy anniversary.

1216. Wait for your clueless husband...

1217. to start his day.

1218. Off he goes.

1219. And the clock is ticking.

1220. Meticulously stage your crime scene...

1221. with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt.

1222. You need to bleed.

1223. A lot.

1224. A lot, a lot.

1225. A head wound kind of bleed.

1226. A crime scene kind of bleed.

1227. You need to clean poorly...

1228. like he would.

1229. Clean and bleed. Bleed and clean.

1230. And leave a little something behind.

1231. A fire in July?

1232. And because you're you...

1233. you don't stop there.

1234. You need a diary.

1235. Minimum, 300 entries on the Nick and Amy story.

1236. Start with the fairy tale early days.

1237. Those are true. And they're crucial.

1238. You want Nick and Amy to be likeable.

1239. After that, you invent.

1240. The spending.

1241. The abuse. The fear.

1242. The threat of violence.

1243. And Nick thought he was the writer.

1244. Burn it just the right amount.

1245. Make sure the cops will find it.

1246. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt.

1247. And if I get everything right, the world will hate Nick...

1248. for killing his beautiful, pregnant wife.

1249. And after all the outrage, when I'm ready...

1250. I'll go out on the water with a handful of pills...

1251. and a pocket full of stones.

1252. And when they find my body, they'll know...

1253. Nick Dunne dumped his beloved like garbage.

1254. And she floated down past all the other...

1255. abused, unwanted, inconvenient women.

1256. Then, Nick will die, too.

1257. Nick and Amy will be gone.

1258. But, then, we never really existed.

1259. Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be.

1260. "Cool Girl."

1261. Men always use that as their defining compliment.

1262. "She's a cool girl."

1263. Cool Girl is hot.

1264. Cool Girl is game.

1265. Cool Girl is fun.

1266. Cool Girl never gets angry at her man.

1267. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner...

1268. and then presents her mouth for fucking.

1269. She likes what he likes.

1270. So evidently, he's a vinyl hipster who loves fetish manga.

1271. If he likes Girls Gone Wild, she's a mall babe...

1272. who talks football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters.

1273. When I met Nick Dunne, I knew he wanted Cool Girl.

1274. And for him, I'll admit, I was willing to try.

1275. I wax-stripped my pussy raw.

1276. I drank canned beer watching Adam Sandler movies.

1277. I ate cold pizza and remained a size two.

1278. I blew him semi-regularly.

1279. I lived in the moment.

1280. I was fucking game.

1281. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it.

1282. Nick teased out of me things I didn't know existed.

1283. A lightness, a humor, an ease.

1284. But I made him smarter. Sharper.

1285. I inspired him to rise to my level.

1286. I forged the man of my dreams.

1287. We were happy pretending to be other people.

1288. We were the happiest couple we knew.

1289. And what's the point of being together if you're not the happiest?

1290. But Nick got lazy.

1291. He became someone I did not agree to marry.

1292. He actually expected me to love him unconditionally.

1293. Then he dragged me, penniless, to the navel of this great country...

1294. and found himself a newer, younger, bouncier...

1295. Cool Girl.

1296. You think I'd let him destroy me and end up happier than ever?

1297. No fucking way.

1298. He doesn't get to win.

1299. My cute, charming, salt-of-the-earth, Missouri guy.

1300. He needed to learn.

1301. Grown-ups work for things.

1302. Grown-ups pay.

1303. Grown-ups suffer consequences.

1304. Wait.

1305. I need 20 seconds where you don't judge me, interrupt me...

1306. or get angry.

1307. Okay.

1308. Is that all the stuff from the credit cards?

1309. Where do you store goodies for anniversary five?

1310. Wood.

1311. - Woodshed. - Yeah, my woodshed.

1312. That fucking bitch.

1313. - I thought... - It's all right.

1314. I would have, too.

1315. What's that present?

1316. I don't know.

1317. Let's find out.

1318. "Dear Husband, I know you think you're moving through this world unseen.

1319. "Don't believe that for a second.

1320. "I know where you've been, and I know where you're going."

1321. "For this anniversary, I've arranged a trip.

1322. "Follow the river, up, up, up.

1323. "Sit back and relax, because you are done."

1324. What's "up, up river"?

1325. "Up the river." Prison.

1326. Fucking crazy bitch.

1327. That's what this is.

1328. She's framing me for her murder.

1329. You married a complete psychopath.

1330. The morning of our anniversary...

1331. I was gonna ask her for a divorce. I just couldn't do it.

1332. I couldn't fake it for another year, another day.

1333. Then what happened?

1334. Before I could say anything, she said...

1335. "I need you to go somewhere and really think about our marriage."

1336. She knew I would go to Sawyer Beach.

1337. So you'd have no alibi.

1338. She stage-managed me.

1339. She knew exactly what I would do. And I fucking did it.

1340. I went to the beach, I thought about our marriage.

1341. I came back and decided I wanted a divorce.

1342. And by the time you got home...

1343. She was gone.

1344. You fuck!

1345. She's good.

1346. Part of me was relieved...

1347. when I thought she was gone.

1348. Punch and Judy puppets.

1349. Remember, he beats Judy to death and kills that baby.

1350. So I'm Punch.

1351. We already knew that, Amy, what's your point?

1352. Does Missouri have the death penalty?

1353. Hey, neighbor.

1354. It's been weeks since I had anyone decent next door.

1355. Well, I don't know how decent I feel.

1356. As long as you don't own a python and blast death metal at 4 AM...

1357. we're gonna be best friends.

1358. All right. Nice meeting you.

1359. I'm Greta.

1360. I'm Nancy.

1361. Are you going to the marina? I could use some creamer.

1362. I'm sorry. I can't.

1363. I've got work to do.

1364. All right. See you around!

1365. You will.

1366. Come on. Show me that darling Nicky smile.

1367. You asshole.

1368. Hey.

1369. Nancy.

1370. It's hot again today.

1371. So, where are you from?

1372. Let me guess.

1373. Nebraska.

1374. New Orleans.

1375. You know, I am an expert oiler.

1376. Oh, I just bet you are.

1377. Lotions and balms. Ointment.

1378. I would hate for y'all to get tan lines.

1379. So sweet.

1380. Okay. You know where I'll be.

1381. I see we have the same taste in men.

1382. I clipped it on a bathroom cabinet.

1383. Least you could do is not keep his secrets for him.

1384. Let me guess.

1385. He's trying to watch the big game and you just won't shut up.

1386. No, you don't seem like much of a talker.

1387. I got it.

1388. You caught your boy rubbing up on some hot little skank...

1389. and he apologized to you by busting you a good one.

1390. Worse.

1391. Worse?

1392. I went to the bar where he works to surprise him.

1393. And out he comes with this girl who had no business being in a bar.

1394. On the very first night that we met...

1395. we walked by a bakery that was having their sugar delivered.

1396. And it was in the air, everywhere.

1397. A sugar storm.

1398. And before he kissed me...

1399. he leaned in...

1400. and did this.

1401. - And guess what. - What?

1402. He did the exact same thing with her.

1403. That is the most disgusting thing I ever heard.

1404. Thank you.

1405. Thanks very much.

1406. Well, we've gone mainstream.

1407. It's an appeals process, so we will attempt to appeal to them.

1408. Mr. Bolt. Tanner Bolt?

1409. Nick Dunne.

1410. I have been sitting by the phone, my friend.

1411. I'm sorry.

1412. Do you not believe me?

1413. No, I believe you. It's just the craziest thing I've ever heard.

1414. I love it. But, for you, it sucks.

1415. But you gotta have a grudging respect for your wife at this point, right?

1416. - Are you laughing me out of the building? - No!

1417. Are you kidding me? I'm in.

1418. I'm way in.

1419. You came to the right guy. This is what I do, Nick.

1420. This is why I have a $100,000 retainer. I win the unwinnable cases.

1421. $100,000?

1422. We'll figure something out.

1423. I'll give you a special...

1424. "my wife is skilled in the art of vengeance" rate.

1425. Okay.

1426. So, what's the plan?

1427. Well, right now, it's a "he said, she said."

1428. - She's telling a better story. - No, Nick.

1429. She is telling the perfect story.

1430. So, we need to start today to prepare your defense, should we need it.

1431. - And if we decide to go with your version of... - The truth.

1432. Then we'll need to realign the public's perception of Amy.

1433. Make them stop seeing her as America's sweetheart...

1434. and see her for what she is, which a mind-fucker of the first degree.

1435. Now, that is a huge realignment. We'll need other voices besides yours.

1436. There has to be someone out there that she's screwed with in the past.

1437. There's a New York guy. O'Hara, Tommy O'Hara.

1438. Eight years ago, she pressed charges against him.

1439. That should be easy to find.

1440. Ex-classmate, Desi Collings.

1441. She said that he stalked her. He's in St. Louis.

1442. You go talk to Tommy, and I'll draw up the contract.

1443. I told you, you came to the right guy.

1444. Apparently.

1445. Tommy?

1446. Yeah.

1447. - Thanks for seeing me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1448. You're gonna want a drink.

1449. Yeah.

1450. So, she said you got physical with her.

1451. No, dude, she said I raped her.

1452. First degree, felony rape.

1453. - Did you do it? - Did you do it?

1454. I was looking at 30 years to life.

1455. - Did you get a trial? - Fuck, no.

1456. Do I look like I would do well in the yard?

1457. I pled down, man. Sexual assault one, no jail time.

1458. - That's something. - Oh, yeah.

1459. I've been unemployed for the last eight years...

1460. because I have to write "sexual offender" on every job application.

1461. I'm on a neighborhood watch list, because I have to register as a predator.

1462. I haven't had a date in almost a decade, because if a girl googles me...

1463. Could you walk me through what happened?

1464. I meet Amy at this party, you know?

1465. We click. She's perfect.

1466. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's well-read...

1467. she's got an ass like a 20-year-old stripper.

1468. I think, "What's the catch?"

1469. A few months, it hits me. This is not going to be easy.

1470. Girls like a fixer-upper, but Amy?

1471. She annexed me. She made me her business.

1472. It was just too much. She went out and bought me ties.

1473. And we must have gone 20 rounds over that.

1474. Ties. The whole thing just became...

1475. - So, you broke up with her. - No, I just backed away.

1476. Gave her some space. No big deal, right?

1477. So I thought.

1478. Then one night, Amy comes over to my place...

1479. with a bottle of bourbon and a bootleg of this band I love.

1480. And within two minutes, she's got my pants around my ankles...

1481. and she is kneeling down, and...

1482. I'm sorry. I know it's your wife.

1483. - You had sex? - Yeah, consensual.

1484. It was rough, but she was screaming for it.

1485. Next morning, there's two cops at my door.

1486. Amy has wounds that are consistent with rape.

1487. Ligature marks on her wrist, and my semen.

1488. It looks like I've tied Amy to my bed, and raped her.

1489. Me!

1490. And then, guess what they find.

1491. Headboards of my bed, one on each side.

1492. The ties you wouldn't wear.

1493. You do know your wife.

1494. - Did you ever see her again? - Yeah.

1495. On TV, last week, with you.

1496. I thought, "There's Amy.

1497. "She's graduated from being raped to being murdered."

1498. You been watching this, too?

1499. Last night's bombshell.

1500. We just found out...

1501. Amy Elliott Dunne was, indeed, pregnant when she went missing.

1502. Kelly Capitono, this makes me wanna throw up.

1503. What is it about a pregnant woman, a woman carrying life inside her...

1504. that turns men into animals?

1505. Ellen, this is an epidemic.

1506. The third leading cause of death among pregnant women...

1507. is homicide committed by a boyfriend or husband.

1508. Let's not forget about the wife, ever.

1509. Tonight, we welcome Amy's best friend, Noelle Hawthorne.

1510. Thanks for being on the show, Noelle.

1511. Thank you, Ellen.

1512. And let me just say this...

1513. Amy would have loved you, and all you do for women.

1514. Oh, that's nice.

1515. Why don't you tell us about your friend, Noelle?

1516. Amy was so nurturing.

1517. Oh, I'd love if just once, someone was like...

1518. "She was a real rag."

1519. She was beautiful and smart and kind.

1520. Seems like a rich bitch to me.

1521. What do you mean? People love her.

1522. I don't know. She seems uppity.

1523. Spoiled rich girl, married a cheating asshole.

1524. Paid the ultimate price.

1525. The only secret was her husband. We never met Nick.

1526. He never introduced himself.

1527. Why was that, Noelle? Why do you think?

1528. I think we know why.

1529. Because he had a violent temper.

1530. A little harsh.

1531. That's life, baby.

1532. He knew I'd have seen right through him.

1533. Don't get me wrong.

1534. I'm not saying it's okay he killed her.

1535. I'm just saying, there are consequences.

1536. Fuck, yeah.

1537. She was so alone.

1538. And she was so innocent.

1539. You're a good friend, Noelle. And you're a good friend of the show.

1540. Thanks for coming on.

1541. Please tell me you landed Tanner Bolt.

1542. Tanner Bolt landed me.

1543. I'm gonna try and see Desi Collings on my way home.

1544. And, Go...

1545. Tanner's retainer is $100,000.

1546. That's just the retainer.

1547. Listen, I've got $47,000 in savings. I've got $2,500 in an IRA.

1548. I'm approved for a second mortgage on the house. We will go from there.

1549. Thank you.

1550. - I love you. - I love you, too.

1551. Nick keeps his father, who has Alzheimer's, in a facility.

1552. Number of times he visited last year? One.

1553. Oh, fuck!

1554. His twin sister, Margo, well, she is a peach.

1555. These two spend their days in the bar Amy bought them.

1556. Playing what, Lauren? Playing house?

1557. What the fuck?

1558. Twin siblings often enable and abet.

1559. While I never examined Nick, or his sister...

1560. they both seem very, very close.

1561. It's twin-cest.

1562. Disturbingly close, Lauren.

1563. And so, we close with a question.

1564. What kind of moral rot...

1565. allows a beautiful, talented, kind, smart, loving mother...

1566. to vanish without the heavens hearing our outraged cries?

1567. Can I bum a cigarette?

1568. Amy Elliott Dunne, we care about you, and we will not forget.

1569. And you know what else we won't forget?

1570. Missouri has the death penalty.

1571. Amen.

1572. I'd like to report some strange activity...

1573. near the woodshed on the property of one Margo Dunne.

1574. Hey.

1575. - Mr. Dunne. - Mr. Collings.

1576. I know you. I saw you at the volunteer center.

1577. I wanted to help.

1578. I hope you don't mind me coming by.

1579. I got your address from this letter that you wrote my wife.

1580. Amy and I believe in the lost art of letter-writing.

1581. I always wondered why you kept in touch after...

1582. everything.

1583. You were together for two years in boarding school, right?

1584. She was my first serious girlfriend.

1585. - Why did you break up? - That's a strange question.

1586. Did you treat her bad? Did you cheat on her?

1587. That's a rude question.

1588. Let me tell you what Amy told me.

1589. She dumped you, you completely unraveled.

1590. You stalked her, you threatened her...

1591. and you attempted suicide in her bed and were institutionalized.

1592. Your wife is missing, and you came all this way to tell me this?

1593. I thought there might be another side to this story.

1594. Mr. Collings.

1595. Fuck.

1596. the missing persons case of Amy Elliott Dunne.

1597. She is the beautiful blonde inspiration for the Amazing Amy kids' book series.

1598. You're reading that diary again?

1599. You know how it ends.

1600. It interests me.

1601. Hey, Rhonda.

1602. "He's gonna kill me." The end.

1603. Why did he go to his dad's house to burn it?

1604. It's private. There's no one there.

1605. Why didn't he make sure it actually burned?

1606. Because he tripped the alarm. You were up his ass with a flashlight.

1607. The whole thing just feels hinky.

1608. Like finding an envelope marked "Clue."

1609. You ever hear the expression...

1610. "The simplest answer is often the correct one"?

1611. Actually, I've never found that to be true.

1612. - Good night. - Good night.

1613. Hey.

1614. Elvis is in Missouri.

1615. Thank God. Come on in.

1616. First thing you have to understand about Amy, she loves to teach lessons.

1617. - Play God. - Yeah, Old Testament God.

1618. Okay. Keep talking.

1619. She finds out I've been cheating on her with Andie...

1620. decides to teach me a lesson.

1621. Fakes her own death, frames me for it.

1622. Blood in the house, credit cards, life insurance.

1623. She does the treasure hunt.

1624. Now, the treasure hunt is critical.

1625. She's taking us on a tour of my infidelities. Rubbing my nose in it.

1626. And she leaves clue number one for the police...

1627. which will lead them back to my office...

1628. which is a place where Andie and I would often...

1629. And she leaves a pair of red panties.

1630. Right. Racy, looks bad.

1631. - Clue two. - My father's house.

1632. Another place where Andie and I would occasionally have relations.

1633. - Clue three? - Woodshed.

1634. - Also a location... - Oh, my God.

1635. - We had limited options. - A hotel.

1636. - Amy would have seen the credit card bill. - Put it on Andie's credit card.

1637. Andie's statement went right to her parents.

1638. Nick, Margo, can we head over to the little brown house?

1639. - This leads us to what? - My dad's house.

1640. Dad's house is blue.

1641. After the divorce, when Dad wasn't coming around...

1642. I used to pretend that he was a spy named Mr. Brown, who...

1643. for the sake of his children's safety, had to deny their existence.

1644. You never told me that.

1645. You told her that?

1646. We've got incriminating red panties in your office.

1647. We've got a Showcase Showdown worth of crap in your woodshed.

1648. So, what in God's name is at your father's house, Nick?

1649. And be honest.

1650. I honestly have no idea.

1651. Whatever they found, I think it's safe to assume that it's very bad.

1652. We got a lot of uncontained issues here.

1653. Nick, do you have any idea as to what Andie's mindset is?

1654. We haven't communicated since the vigil.

1655. Okay. Amy's parents?

1656. - No, it's... - More pressure.

1657. We got a hurt, young girlfriend who will no doubt go public at any moment.

1658. - No, Andie won't do that. - She will.

1659. They always do. Don't take it personally.

1660. Amy's got us in an interesting bind.

1661. - We need to tell the cops about Andie. - Really?

1662. Right now, Andie just gives you another motive.

1663. We need to tell the cops about the woodshed.

1664. We need to be on the front end of that.

1665. But I'm gonna warn you as to what will happen.

1666. They'll go after Margo.

1667. They can't do that, can they?

1668. She's your accomplice. She helped you hide the evidence.

1669. In all likelihood, she knows that you killed Amy.

1670. God.

1671. Well, what are we going to do?

1672. We find Amy.

1673. No. Any other strategy is missing the point.

1674. I've got two ex-Secret Service guys that are really good.

1675. I'll put them on it.

1676. But where do they start, Nick?

1677. Where would Amy go?

1678. I have no idea.

1679. Are we keeping score?

1680. Hey!

1681. I thought we were steering clear of men for a while.

1682. He's nice.

1683. Because he wants to fuck you.

1684. She's still moping about her ex?

1685. He got cheated on, too.

1686. We three are the saddest sacks in all the Ozarks.

1687. I'm not sad.

1688. I'm angry.

1689. There you go.

1690. I almost drank myself to death when my wife left me.

1691. I was gonna kill myself. Can you believe that?

1692. Don't give him the pleasure.

1693. I was going to drown myself in the Gulf of Mexico...

1694. let myself be dinner for the great whites.

1695. Gulf is bull sharks, Miss Nawlins.

1696. Why should I die? I'm not the asshole.

1697. Please put that on a T-shirt.

1698. Miss Moneybags. I thought you said you were broke.

1699. That's a fat wad.

1700. It's mostly singles.

1701. Singles? What are you, a stripper?

1702. Swamp Girls, or Treasure Chest?

1703. We're just teasing.

1704. Don't they tease people down in NOLA?

1705. We can expect Nick Dunne's arrest any day now.

1706. We've got blood in the house, huge debt, an unwanted pregnancy.

1707. And we have Amy Elliott Dunne, missing for five days...

1708. crying out for justice.

1709. We'll be right back.

1710. Tanner has a very bad idea he's going to pitch you.

1711. Yeah?

1712. You're doing Sharon Schieber tomorrow in St. Louis.

1713. It could go so wrong.

1714. And you are going to tell her about Andie.

1715. Nope.

1716. That sounds like a very bad idea.

1717. You haven't heard from her in three days.

1718. This is a ticking time bomb. You've gotta throw yourself on it.

1719. - People are gonna hate me. - And then, they will forgive you.

1720. A guy admitting that he's a gigantic asshole on television?

1721. People empathize with that.

1722. - Why don't we just put out a statement? - They need to see you.

1723. Sharon's specials, they get 10 million viewers.

1724. She is a crusader. If she takes you on as a cause...

1725. She's going to ask real questions.

1726. I will drill you as if you were doing a deposition.

1727. What to say, what not to say.

1728. A trained monkey?

1729. A trained monkey who doesn't get the lethal injection.

1730. Nick, this case is about what people think of you.

1731. They need to like you.

1732. Now, you do this and you will reach millions of those people.

1733. Maybe I only need to reach one.

1734. Hello?

1735. Hey, baby.

1736. One minute.

1737. - Hey. - Hey.

1738. You clearing out?

1739. No, I'm just cleaning up.

1740. Let us come in and say goodbye.

1741. I'll come by before...

1742. Let us give you a hand.

1743. Yeah, you gotta clear everything out, here.

1744. Dorothy is a real stickler.

1745. Not even a spare hanger can you leave behind.

1746. Gotta make sure nothing's tucked inside.

1747. A sock...

1748. or undies or what have you.

1749. You did a real good job.

1750. Where is the money, sweetheart?

1751. Look under her dress.

1752. He talked you into this?

1753. I talked him into it.

1754. The second you leave, I'm calling the cops.

1755. Your glasses are fake. Your hair's dyed all hamster.

1756. You say your name's Nancy, but you don't even answer to it half the time.

1757. You're hiding. I don't know why, and I don't really care.

1758. But you ain't gonna call the cops.

1759. And I don't think you've ever really been hit before.

1760. Holy shit.

1761. Sorry, but we really need the money.

1762. Next place, be more careful, okay?

1763. There are a lot of people out there a lot worse than we are.

1764. Excuse me. You can't sleep here.

1765. I did not kill my wife.

1766. Why don't you try it again? A little less wooden.

1767. I didn't kill my wife.

1768. - What are you doing? - Every time you look smug...

1769. or annoyed or tense, I'm gonna hit you with a gummy bear.

1770. - That's supposed to make me less tense? - Let's try it again.

1771. Mr. Dunne, from what I understand, you and your wife had some bumps.

1772. Yeah, we had some tough years. I lost my job.

1773. You both did.

1774. We both lost our jobs.

1775. I had to move back home so we could take care of my mother...

1776. who was dying of cancer and my dad, who had...

1777. Your dad's scorched earth.

1778. Let's talk about your mom, how close you were.

1779. Go on.

1780. For a while, things had been building up.

1781. "Built up" implies that an explosion is coming. No.

1782. At a certain point, we got on the wrong track.

1783. I had a moment of weakness.

1784. Your "moment" was over 15 months.

1785. I disrespected my wife.

1786. And I disrespected my marriage.

1787. And I'll always regret it.

1788. That works.

1789. Don't be afraid to play up the dufus husband thing, Nick.

1790. "I was an idiot. I'm a fuck-up.

1791. "Everything I do is wrong."

1792. I know. What men are supposed to do in general.

1793. - Thank you. - How do you feel?

1794. I feel good. Go, can you pass me that box, please?

1795. It's Amy's 33rd birthday present to me.

1796. You hate that watch.

1797. No, Go. I love that watch.

1798. Just like I love this tie.

1799. Just like I love my wife.

1800. It's you!

1801. It's you.

1802. I'm sorry.

1803. Good God.

1804. Last week...

1805. I threatened to leave, and he said he'd find me and he'd kill me.

1806. So, I disappeared.

1807. I lost the baby.

1808. I couldn't even tell my parents.

1809. I'm so ashamed and I'm so afraid.

1810. Well, he is looking for you.

1811. He showed up on my doorstep three days ago.

1812. He tracked me from my letters to you.

1813. You saved them.

1814. Knowing you were out there...

1815. was the only thing that's kept me going these past few years.

1816. Let's go to the police. You can explain everything.

1817. No, I can't turn up now.

1818. I'd be a pariah. Everyone would hate me.

1819. Is it wrong to want Nick to go to prison?

1820. He should go to prison for what he's done.

1821. I'm setting you up at my lake house.

1822. It's utterly secluded.

1823. Why are you so good to me?

1824. You know why.

1825. Excuse me.

1826. I know you, don't I?

1827. No.

1828. You're one of the Nolan girls, right?

1829. No, we're from Winnipeg. Excuse us.

1830. We should leave.

1831. Just a second.

1832. That was Boney. I'll call her later.

1833. Tanner. Nice to see you.

1834. Sharon! Hi.

1835. Hope this is worth my while.

1836. You're gonna be very happy.

1837. Sharon.

1838. Ms. Schieber. Thank you so much for doing this.

1839. Can I get you anything to drink or eat before we get started?

1840. No, I had some gummy bears.

1841. What the fuck?

1842. I'm sorry?

1843. We have a major shocking development in the Amazing Amy disappearance.

1844. We go live to that story now.

1845. Oh, my God.

1846. You little slut.

1847. My name is Andie Fitzgerald.

1848. I met Nicholas Dunne...

1849. when he was my creative writing teacher at Mill Valley.

1850. Why is she dressed like a babysitter?

1851. I am deeply ashamed...

1852. of having been romantically involved with a married man.

1853. The girl with the giant cum-on-me tits.

1854. I truly believed we were in love.

1855. Now, she looks like a fucking Mennonite.

1856. I know that is no excuse.

1857. No, it is not.

1858. I do not, in my heart, believe Nick Dunne would have killed for me.

1859. My prayers go out to everyone who loves Amy.

1860. I apologize for the pain this has caused them.

1861. We have loved Nick Dunne like a son.

1862. That love ended today.

1863. Come on, you're staring at ghosts.

1864. He met our trust with lie after lie.

1865. We now absolutely believe...

1866. Nick is involved in the disappearance of our daughter.

1867. Our Amazing Amy.

1868. This just got very exciting.

1869. We need a moment.

1870. We're gonna have to bow out of this.

1871. - Nothing has changed. - Everything has changed.

1872. An hour ago, we were ahead of this. Now?

1873. - I can handle this. - We're on the defense.

1874. This is a completely different dynamic.

1875. - I can handle it. - She's going to eat you alive.

1876. Just trust me.

1877. Okay.

1878. Great.

1879. Mic him.

1880. One, two, three, four, five.

1881. Thank you.

1882. He shouldn't smile at the makeup artist.

1883. Yeah, no kidding.

1884. Roll tape. Five... four...

1885. three... two...

1886. Seriously, I can't believe how fucking good you were.

1887. - Amy brings out the best in me. - Don't.

1888. Keep it together, you two. At least for the next 24 hours.

1889. People still hate you. Women want to scratch your eyes out.

1890. Andie was really good TV.

1891. - She's a good person. - Therein lies the problem.

1892. Ride this out...

1893. and when Sharon airs tomorrow, we'll be looking at a whole new you.

1894. But, until then...

1895. don't show your face.

1896. No problem.

1897. Welcome.

1898. Make yourself at home.

1899. I've got music, satellite...

1900. Netflix.

1901. He was her teacher!

1902. Roku.

1903. Internet, obviously.

1904. Here is a supposedly grown man...

1905. If there is ever anything you have a taste for and you can't find it...

1906. just let me know and I will get it for you.

1907. Instead of the A-B-C's, he taught her the birds and the bees.

1908. And just think how her mother must feel at a time like this.

1909. Wine cellar's downstairs.

1910. I'll get you some clothes, too.

1911. Not that I don't appreciate Bait Shop Chic.

1912. The floors are heated, just dial to your liking.

1913. There's robes and towels. The shower has steam.

1914. The bathtub has a massage cycle.

1915. There's a great view, if you're in the mood.

1916. Blackout curtains if you're not.

1917. The bed is Savoir.

1918. You'll never get a better sleep.

1919. This is just what I need.

1920. I'm so exhausted.

1921. I'll leave you to it, then.

1922. Amy, I am so happy that you are here.

1923. And I don't want you to worry for one moment.

1924. There are cameras everywhere.

1925. The exterior, all along the grounds, the entryway.

1926. Anyone...

1927. who is caught coming or going...

1928. will be recorded.

1929. You are more than safe.

1930. And I am not letting you get away again.

1931. - Good morning! - Don't do that!

1932. I'm sorry.

1933. I need to feel safe.

1934. You are very safe.

1935. - What have you been up to? - Nothing.

1936. Amy, I'm not Nick.

1937. It's hard for me.

1938. After so many years under someone's thumb...

1939. I know just what that feels like.

1940. You were never under my thumb.

1941. - On your leash. - Never.

1942. A new start.

1943. Decent clothes.

1944. Hair dye. Makeup. Tweezers.

1945. There's a gym overlooking the lake.

1946. The sooner you look like yourself, the sooner you'll feel like yourself.

1947. I'll get groceries for tonight, we'll watch Sharon Schieber, and finally move on.

1948. I think that's something I should watch on my own.

1949. Nonsense.

1950. I'll be back.

1951. And I am looking forward...

1952. to my reunion with Amy Elliott.

1953. Great.

1954. Good evening, I'm Sharon Schieber.

1955. - Tonight, exclusively... - Hurry up.

1956. A husband breaks his silence, not just on his wife's disappearance...

1957. but on his infidelity, and all those shocking rumors.

1958. Nick Dunne...

1959. you're probably the most hated man in America right now.

1960. I probably am. And I probably deserve it.

1961. I bought that tie.

1962. Did you kill your wife, Nick?

1963. I did not kill my wife.

1964. I am not a murderer.

1965. But you were unfaithful.

1966. I was unfaithful.

1967. And I am deeply ashamed.

1968. And, on top of that, you allowed Amy's parents...

1969. her friends, all the people in your hometown...

1970. believe you were a loving husband, desperate to find his missing wife.

1971. Well, I am desperate to find my missing wife.

1972. You say that, but I'm wondering how you expect us to believe you...

1973. now that we know you're a liar.

1974. I didn't come forward with my affair...

1975. because I knew it would make me look really, really bad.

1976. But I don't care about that anymore.

1977. I just want to find my wife.

1978. - I'm just trying to get clear... - Let me be clear.

1979. Just because I am not a murderer doesn't make me a good guy.

1980. I'm not a good guy.

1981. I was a bad husband to a great wife.

1982. I broke the vow that I made to her.

1983. Those are pretty words, Nick.

1984. But what does that really mean to you?

1985. It basically means that I was a con artist.

1986. I met Amy Elliott seven years ago.

1987. I was completely transfixed.

1988. Amy can do that to you.

1989. I was this average guy from an average place...

1990. with mediocre aspirations.

1991. And I met a woman who dazzled me.

1992. And I wanted her to love me...

1993. so I pretended to be better than I was.

1994. When we got married, I promised to be that guy.

1995. That guy who works harder.

1996. That guy who, who lives and acts...

1997. and loves with as much passion as she does.

1998. But I failed her.

1999. Instead of doing what was right...

2000. I did what was easy.

2001. You talk like a man who believes he can make amends to his wife.

2002. Who believes his wife is still alive.

2003. She is still alive.

2004. Will you look at that camera for me?

2005. Will you look in the lens...

2006. and talk to your wife?

2007. If she is out there, able to hear and see you tonight...

2008. what would you like to say to her, Nick?

2009. Amy, I love you.

2010. You're the best person I've ever known.

2011. And I've taken myself to the woodshed for the way that I've treated you.

2012. And if you come back, I promise...

2013. I will spend every day making it up to you.

2014. I will be the man that I promised you I would be.

2015. I love you.

2016. Come home.

2017. Here.

2018. Regardless of what you thought...

2019. What does it say?

2020. I think we can all agree...

2021. Oh, my God. You fucking killed it.

2022. there's more to him than meets the eye.

2023. They're going crazy for you.

2024. They disliked me, they liked me, they hated me.

2025. And now they love me.

2026. a candor and an honesty that's worthy of respect.

2027. He's certainly earned mine.

2028. What is it?

2029. I'm Sharon Schieber. Good night.

2030. Margo Dunne, this is a search warrant for your property.

2031. I usually ignore tipline calls...

2032. but a neighbor was concerned about a strange man around your woodshed.

2033. Call Tanner.

2034. Okay. Fuck!

2035. Girlfriend's real cute, Nick.

2036. Is that what this is about?

2037. I have treated you more than fair throughout this entire investigation.

2038. I gave you the benefit of the doubt over and over.

2039. Every time you said something stupid...

2040. I thought, "Maybe he's just stupid."

2041. But I was wrong. That's what this is about.

2042. Are these the clubs you don't play golf with?

2043. None of that is mine.

2044. None of this was put here by me.

2045. Those are nice clubs. You got the makings of a real man cave.

2046. Everything just waiting until the wife goes away for good.

2047. Nick!

2048. - You can't do that! - Of course we can.

2049. Amy, it's time to move on.

2050. What can I do to help?

2051. I need some time to think.

2052. - That's the last thing you need. - Desi...

2053. Twenty years, you have kept me dangling.

2054. Finally, last night, you came to me, and you chose me.

2055. Follow that instinct.

2056. Don't trust the instinct that left you beaten and homeless...

2057. sleeping in your car, fearing for your life.

2058. I'm not gonna force myself on you.

2059. I understand what you're saying, Desi.

2060. I do.

2061. I've been so mistreated for so long.

2062. I've forgotten how to behave.

2063. I'll move in here tomorrow...

2064. and we'll work it out together.

2065. I just want you to be you again.

2066. They only took Margo to fuck with you.

2067. She's not spending another fucking second in there.

2068. I'm gonna go in, and I'm gonna tell them everything.

2069. What?

2070. We tell Boney very little.

2071. Without a body, without a murder weapon...

2072. their only hope is a confession.

2073. So, you let them do all the talking.

2074. That way, we can jump-start your defense.

2075. The truth is my defense.

2076. Recognize these?

2077. Yes. It's Amy's anniversary present to me.

2078. Was that how she told you she was pregnant, Nick?

2079. Mommy, Daddy, baby, and that made you real mad?

2080. No.

2081. - Recognize this? - Never seen that before in my life.

2082. It's Amy's diary. We found this at your father's house.

2083. Is this your wife's handwriting?

2084. - He's not a handwriting ex... - Looks like it.

2085. Our experts thought so, too.

2086. Do you wanna play a little true or false?

2087. Sure.

2088. "And then he brushes the sugar off my lips so he can taste me."

2089. Yeah, that's true.

2090. You thought quinoa was a fish?

2091. That is also true, yes.

2092. She wanted to get pregnant, you assaulted her.

2093. I hit her? No, never happened.

2094. - "Pushed," it says "pushed." - Absolutely not.

2095. I never touched her.

2096. She tried to buy a gun.

2097. I doubt that, but I don't know.

2098. Shall I read the last entry?

2099. Sure.

2100. "This man may kill me."

2101. In her own words, "This man may kill me."

2102. It's kind of a convenient end note.

2103. For future reference...

2104. the truth, you are not a handwriting expert.

2105. Okay, I know.

2106. Judy's missing handle.

2107. Big as a two-by-four, right? Big as a club.

2108. We found this day one, in the fireplace in your home office.

2109. We didn't know what the hell it was, but fire in July?

2110. We bagged it.

2111. I've never seen that before either.

2112. We just tested it. Fire doesn't erase blood, Nick.

2113. So, finally, Nicholas Dunne...

2114. you're under arrest for the murder of your wife.

2115. Do not say another word.

2116. - What about my side? - Nick!

2117. More coffee?

2118. I'd love it.

2119. Remember that time we skipped school and drove to the Cape?

2120. God, yeah. Lobster right from the ocean.

2121. This reminds me of that.

2122. Never-ending holiday.

2123. You're not bored?

2124. Desi, how could I be bored?

2125. You can discuss 18th-century symphonies...

2126. 19th-century Impressionists, quote Proust in French.

2127. Nick's idea of culture was a reality TV marathon...

2128. with one hand down his boxers.

2129. I really have to get going.

2130. But I will be back just as soon as I can.

2131. My keys.

2132. Thank you.

2133. That's how the kids wear it.

2134. Dunne? You got one hell of a lawyer.

2135. Hey.

2136. - Are you okay? - Yes. Are you?

2137. Yeah.

2138. Let's go.

2139. What does this mean?

2140. Well, you're out on bond.

2141. You can relax at home while we prep for trial.

2142. Keep your head down.

2143. Tanner, is there any fucking lead on Amy?

2144. I've got two of my best guys on it.

2145. She's air.

2146. Come home, Amy. I dare you.

2147. Mr. Collings is home.

2148. Hello, Mr. Collings.

2149. I've missed you.

2150. I've been thinking...

2151. I don't wanna be without you.

2152. Stay with me.

2153. And when all this dies down, we'll go to Greece, like you said.

2154. Octopus and Scrabble?

2155. How long do you think until it's done?

2156. Not long. Six months for the trial. Sentencing will be quick.

2157. He'll appeal.

2158. I can watch the rest overseas.

2159. Go slowly.

2160. But I want it.

2161. Don't rush.

2162. Just do it.

2163. Harder.

2164. You fucking bitch.

2165. Don't you worry, you're gonna have lots of babies.

2166. Her wounds are consistent with rape. There was semen present.

2167. We'll make sure it's a match.

2168. Yeah, it'll match.

2169. Thank you very much.

2170. What do you think?

2171. Are we pals again?

2172. Now that I know you didn't murder your wife, yes.

2173. What do you think?

2174. Kidnapping? The story's insane.

2175. She's on fairly heavy painkillers.

2176. It's okay. I want to help.

2177. Ms. Dunne, I know what you've been through...

2178. so we'll keep this very brief.

2179. Can you walk us through what happened?

2180. That morning, the doorbell rang.

2181. So normal.

2182. I opened the door.

2183. So strange.

2184. Since high school, he won't ever go away.

2185. And I've just tried to be nice to him.

2186. Answer his letters.

2187. Keep him calm.

2188. Oh, my God.

2189. I've encouraged him.

2190. You can't blame yourself.

2191. He pushed inside.

2192. And he grabbed me.

2193. But I got away, and ran to the kitchen.

2194. And he clubbed me.

2195. I collapsed.

2196. That club was actually the handle to a Punch and Judy puppet.

2197. Right.

2198. Treasure hunt.

2199. I'd hidden some puppets at Go's...

2200. Then how did Desi have that handle?

2201. I'd just found it.

2202. It must have fallen off.

2203. I was holding it when Desi pushed in. So, he got it from me.

2204. About that woodshed...

2205. He took me to his lake house.

2206. Tied me to his bed.

2207. Back to the woodshed real quick. Real quick.

2208. When you went to place the puppets there...

2209. did you notice that it was packed...

2210. Lots of stuff.

2211. Corresponding to purchases made on credit cards in your husband's name.

2212. Nick and credit cards.

2213. He buys, I nag. I don't know, probably.

2214. He hid a lot of stuff at Go's. They're very close.

2215. Now, may I go back to where I was being held prisoner...

2216. by a man with a history of mental problems?

2217. Please continue, Ms. Dunne.

2218. Desi assaulted me that night.

2219. Every night.

2220. He tied me up like a dog.

2221. And then, he'd punish me.

2222. Starve me.

2223. Shave me.

2224. Sodomize me.

2225. There were cameras everywhere.

2226. Please find this. Please find the tapes.

2227. She slit his throat with a box cutter.

2228. How did she manage to get a hold of a box cutter...

2229. if he had her tied up the whole time?

2230. Can't you just be happy your wife is home and safe?

2231. Amy, we found your diary.

2232. It contains many concerning allegations of mental and physical abuse.

2233. Well, it's the ugly truth.

2234. Nick didn't want a baby.

2235. He has a temper. We had money problems.

2236. But I love him.

2237. Then why did you try to buy a gun?

2238. I'm sorry, I feel myself fading.

2239. If I could just clarify one thing...

2240. If this case had been left in your deeply incompetent hands...

2241. my husband would be on death row...

2242. and I'd be tied, still, spread-eagle...

2243. Ms. Dunne, you've been very brave. We're finished.

2244. Now, I have to ask you...

2245. do you feel safe going home with your husband?

2246. We prayed to God, and God has answered our prayers.

2247. Amy Dunne is home.

2248. Now, I know there are a lot of questions and concerns...

2249. but for right now, we wanna sit tight...

2250. and just be thankful and grateful for this miracle on the Mississippi.

2251. Excuse me. Excuse us, folks.

2252. We love you, Amy!

2253. All right, you can stop pretending now.

2254. I'm not pretending.

2255. You were perfect.

2256. The Nick I saw on TV, that's the Nick I fell in love with.

2257. You do know I was just telling you what you wanted to hear, right?

2258. That's how well you know me.

2259. You know me in your marrow.

2260. Okay.

2261. You need to tell me exactly what happened.

2262. Take off your clothes.

2263. I need to make sure you're not wearing a wire.

2264. You killed someone, Amy. You're a murderer.

2265. I'm a fighter.

2266. I fought my way back to you.

2267. You killed a guy.

2268. You slashed his throat with a box cutter.

2269. You went on national television and begged for me to save your life.

2270. And I obliged.

2271. But I want that Nick.

2272. I'm leaving.

2273. You really think that's smart?

2274. Shampoo.

2275. Wounded, raped wife battles her way back to her husband...

2276. and he deserts her.

2277. They'll destroy you.

2278. Neighbors will shun you.

2279. And I'll make sure that no one forgets the pain you caused me.

2280. I don't want anything to do with your groupies outside.

2281. Once they go...

2282. I go.

2283. Give it the night. Sleep on it.

2284. Was there ever a baby?

2285. There can be.

2286. Good night.

2287. Hey, Nick!

2288. Hello, handsome.

2289. Crepe?

2290. Sure.

2291. She was his dream girl.

2292. And when this spoiled, rich, entitled little boy couldn't have her...

2293. he took her.

2294. You must be so proud.

2295. It's been four hours.

2296. Nick? Nick? What's next for you and Amy?

2297. Right now, it's all about our marriage.

2298. When two people love each other and can't make that work...

2299. that's the real tragedy.

2300. Kiss my cheek.

2301. I can't believe that fucking spider is America's sweetheart.

2302. She told me she killed Desi.

2303. Not self-defense. Murder.

2304. - Can't we get a wire? - That's not gonna work.

2305. She told you once before.

2306. Yeah, because she had me strip naked, and stand in the shower.

2307. I swear, you two are the most fucked-up people I've ever known.

2308. And I specialize in fucked-up.

2309. You and Amy under the same roof?

2310. You should pitch that as reality television.

2311. Amy Dunne, and the Miracle on the Mississippi.

2312. Nick and I have been through some bad patches.

2313. We've had our dark days.

2314. But we thank you so much...

2315. for supporting us in our new life together, for forgiving Nick.

2316. Really, your encouragement means the world.

2317. She's good.

2318. Amazing Amy and the Humbled Husband.

2319. The Real Housewives of Branson.

2320. Take care of this guy, will you?

2321. I can't believe you're just leaving now.

2322. You are not at risk anymore.

2323. I'm the definition of "at risk."

2324. You got a book deal, a Lifetime movie, you franchised The Bar.

2325. You may wanna thank her.

2326. Just don't piss her off.

2327. See you, guys.

2328. Elvis has left Missouri.

2329. She had to have made a mistake.

2330. We need to check Amy's story, piece by piece.

2331. Nick, I can't do anything.

2332. We had the national spotlight on us, we stained the rug.

2333. The case is with the Feds now, they're done.

2334. That doesn't mean you have to be done.

2335. It does.

2336. What are you doing?

2337. Couldn't sleep.

2338. Come on...

2339. let me tuck you back in.

2340. You know you can sleep with me, right?

2341. Yeah, it's just...

2342. I need more time.

2343. I would never, ever hurt you.

2344. I do need you to participate, though.

2345. I need you to do your part.

2346. Okay.

2347. Everything you have heard about my wife...

2348. is a lie.

2349. She is a calculating, murderous psychopath.

2350. And I have been complicit...

2351. Nick!

2352. Nick? Breakfast.

2353. Honey?

2354. We should hold hands.

2355. Not the entire time, but on and off throughout.

2356. "So, Nick, how does it feel to have your wife back?"

2357. "It's fantastic.

2358. "How many people are lucky enough to get a second chance at love?"

2359. "Fantastic" is a little flippant.

2360. "Amazing"?

2361. I need you to admit that you got the credit cards...

2362. and that you hid all that stuff at Go's and that you pushed me.

2363. I'm gonna need those three things to feel safe.

2364. You have to own this, Nick.

2365. Don't worry. I know exactly what to say.

2366. Nick.

2367. What a beautiful home.

2368. I so appreciate you giving us this time, Nick.

2369. You went on national television...

2370. and told people that I murdered my wife.

2371. I go where the story goes.

2372. You implied that I had carnal relations with my sister.

2373. I didn't use the "I" word. I said you two were "extremely close."

2374. You and a panel of nitwits diagnosed me as a sociopath.

2375. Ice-breaker.

2376. To go with your robot dog.

2377. I'll go find Amy.

2378. She's downstairs.

2379. - What is it? - It's for you.

2380. Open it.

2381. I don't need any more gifts from you.

2382. Open it.

2383. I didn't touch you.

2384. You didn't need to.

2385. Bullshit. That notice of disposal.

2386. I have that. You threw it out.

2387. The notice, yes.

2388. I want a blood test.

2389. I want a paternity test.

2390. I love tests.

2391. You can teach those people to hate me all you want.

2392. I don't care. I am leaving you.

2393. I won't have to teach your child to hate you.

2394. He'll do that all by himself.

2395. You fucking cunt!

2396. I'm the cunt you married.

2397. The only time you liked yourself...

2398. was when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like.

2399. I'm not a quitter. I'm that cunt.

2400. I've killed for you. Who else can say that?

2401. You think you would be happy with a nice Midwestern girl?

2402. No way, baby. I'm it.

2403. Look, you're delusional. You're insane.

2404. Why would you even want this?

2405. Yes, I loved you.

2406. And then all we did was resent each other, and try to control each other.

2407. And cause each other pain.

2408. That's marriage.

2409. Now, I'm getting ready.

2410. I can't watch you play house with that thing for the next 18 years.

2411. I can't just walk away.

2412. You could get custody.

2413. No, I won't. And you know it.

2414. It's gonna be my child. I'm not gonna leave it.

2415. You wanna stay.

2416. I have a responsibility. It's not about what I want anymore.

2417. You wanna stay with her.

2418. You're breaking my heart.

2419. Go, you're my voice of reason.

2420. I need you with me on this.

2421. Of course I'm with you.

2422. I was with you before we were even born.

2423. We've been through the darkness.

2424. We've come out, united.

2425. We communicate.

2426. We're honest with each other.

2427. Right?

2428. We're partners in crime.

2429. And?

2430. We're gonna be parents.

2431. My goodness!

2432. - How exciting! - Thank you.

2433. "What are you thinking?"

2434. "How are you feeling?"

2435. "What have we done to each other?"

2436. "What will we do?"