Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

1. Almost done.

2. - Your mustache is really coming in. - Mom!

3. Phoebe!

4. I'm bleeding!

5. You made me bleed!

6. You'll live. Phoebe!

7. What are you doing?

8. Neighbor's electricity is running out of phase. I tied in, bumped us up to 220.

9. Now I can run my lathe.

10. And you didn't think to ask me?

11. I mean, you just demonstrate zero aptitude for science.

12. - Got it. - You're better at other things.

13. - Like quesadillas. - My hair dryer.

14. - Your quesadillas are excellent. - Thank you.

15. - Now what? - Mom!

16. - Really? You don't have legs? - I'm not an adult.

17. I'm literally driving to pick up a check now.

18. You win lottery?

19. Kind of. My father died.

20. Relax. I didn't even know him. I'm surprised he left me anything.

21. - Sounds like my father. - Yeah?

22. Did your dad abandon your family and move to the middle of nowhere?

23. No.

24. Look, I... I know I have not been a reliable or consistent tenant.

25. But if you give me a week to settle loose ends,

26. I'll be back with everything I owe.

27. I can fix that!

28. Listen,

29. I wait for you to leave,

30. then I change locks.

31. There it is.

32. This is Summerville.

33. - This is where your grandfather lived. - And died.

34. Come on. Not a single bar?

35. There'd better be a bar.

36. That's funny.

37. "Behold,

38. there was a great earthquake.

39. The sun became as black as cloth,

40. the seas boiled,

41. the moon became as blood,

42. the skies fell.

43. Revelation12."

44. That was normal.

45. Maybe it's a good thing you never met your dad.

46. Great. You didn't tell us we inherited a murder house.

47. And just think.

48. Now all of this is ours.

49. Pheebs, be a dear and break into your grandfather's house.

50. Nice.

51. Oh, boy.

52. Not a single photo.

53. Rats.

54. You gotta see the gold mine of junk I found out back.

55. Great.

56. Oh, my God, this is so much worse than I thought it was gonna be.

57. Under the dining table now!

58. Phoebe.

59. Remember that summer we died under a table?

60. Of course this place is built on a fault line.

61. Probably just fracking.

62. It's fracking annoying, is what it is.

63. It's okay, we're only here for a week.

64. Give or take.

65. What does that mean?

66. It means we're staying.

67. You said we'd only be here for a week!

68. Yeah, well, that was before we got evicted.

69. You said you had money saved up.

70. That was before I had children.

71. To be fair, you've never been good with money.

72. Thanks, Pheebs.

73. What's that?

74. How am I supposed to know?

75. Can I help you?

76. Hi. We're the— The—

77. This was my father's place.

78. Hi.

79. - Hi. - Hi.

80. I'm Janine Melnitz. We spoke on the phone.

81. I was your father's—

82. You know, we were friends.

83. - Very sorry for your loss. - It's okay.

84. You knew him better than me. I should be sorry for your loss.

85. I just tried to keep the bills paid on time, that kind of thing.

86. - Like a money manager? - There was no money to manage.

87. He could barely keep the power on.

88. So he left us nothing?

89. Well, I wouldn't say that.

90. There is quite a bit of debt.

91. Ms. Melnitz,

92. I'm here to sign forms,

93. pack the silverware and leave with a rent check.

94. Are you telling me this place is worthless?

95. You mean, aside from the sentimental value?

96. Are you going to that thing later?

97. - Yeah, probably. - Where's my order?

98. I can't believe a place like this still exists.

99. Can't believe we have to spend summer in this heap. We have lives.

100. - You don't think I have a life? - No. You're a mom. You live for us.

101. I'll be right back.

102. Hey. Maybe you will make a friend out here.

103. Make them out of what?

104. I'm serious.

105. A new home could be an opportunity to start fresh.

106. Keep an open mind.

107. Two taters, three Spinners, grilled onions, one no cheese.

108. Lucky, there's—

109. - There's something wrong with the meat. - I don't feel so good, Lucky.

110. There's something wrong. He's throwing up the meat!

111. Cool place.

112. Yeah, I'll use that.

113. I don't own it.

114. I know you don't own it.

115. You look pretty young to own a business.

116. I saw the sign out front.

117. "Help wanted"?

118. I can be helpful.

119. Under experience, you put "friendly" with a smiley face?

120. I didn't really know what to put.

121. I don't think "friendly" qualifies as an experience.

122. It's a quality, I guess.

123. How old are you?

124. Seventeen.

125. Think you can put in a good word for me?

126. I can tell them you have a pulse.

127. My name's Trevor.

128. - My name's Trevor. - My name's Trevor.

129. - Dude, that was great. - Dude, that was really cute.

130. You have a chance with her. You really do.

131. So where you heading?

132. We're staying, actually.

133. You know that farmhouse off the highway with the barn?

134. Dirt? It was my father's.

135. Dirt Farmer had a family?

136. You knew my father?

137. No one knew your father.

138. Well, I'm sure he'll be missed.

139. Nope.

140. What's up, Casanova?

141. Damn it.

142. What?

143. Come on! Bus leaves in 15!

144. Hey, Pheebs,

145. at school today, don't be afraid to just start a conversation.

146. Are you kidding me? That's horrible advice.

147. You're setting her up for failure.

148. Hey, how are the jokes coming along?

149. Why should you never trust atoms?

150. Because they make up everything.

151. - That's funny. - No, it's not.

152. - You can drop me off here. - Are you embarrassed?

153. Yeah. Bye.

154. Love you!

155. That almost killed you.

156. Yeah, with your face.

157. What's wrong? You love school.

158. I love learning.

159. This is a state-sponsored work camp for delinquents.

160. Fine. You can help me scrape asbestos out of the attic.

161. I'll take my chances with public education.

162. Hey, don't be yourself.

163. You okay?

164. Yeah. First day. Can you imagine who they've got teaching summer school?

165. I can. I teach here.

166. Oh, I'm so sorry.

167. No, it's okay. It's—

168. Most of the kids that go here, they're not very bright.

169. Hey, Colin.

170. He's—

171. I can kind of do whatever I want.

172. Score.

173. Right?

174. Dream job.

175. Good morning, class. How's everybody doing today?

176. My name's Mr. Grooberson.

177. I know.

178. You don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here either.

179. Now, apparently, your school is still operating on VHS,

180. but I found this gem in the teachers' lounge.

181. It's great. It's called Cujo.

182. It's about a rabid Saint Bernard that—

183. You know what? I don't wanna give too much away.

184. But imagine Beethoven if he contracted rabies

185. and just started mauling children.

186. You'll get an idea.

187. Enjoy.

188. Speeding. Three, two, one.

189. She sits alone.

190. An outcast, rejected by her peers.

191. But what is her secret?

192. Perhaps she's on the run.

193. On the run...

194. from herself.

195. And go.

196. Actually, my grandfather died.

197. My mom says we're here to pick through the rubble of his life.

198. So you're here to uncover the mystery of his death?

199. No.

200. It was natural causes.

201. Are you sure it wasn't unnatural causes?

202. Yes.

203. Pretty sure it was a heart attack.

204. The silent killer.

205. I'm Phoebe.

206. Cool. I'm Podcast.

207. Why do people call you Podcast?

208. I call myself Podcast. Because of my podcast.

209. Doing some painting?

210. Yeah.

211. Whereabouts you staying?

212. That old apocalyptic ranch off of 99.

213. It was my father's place.

214. Dirt Farmer had a family?

215. You all called him the Dirt Farmer?

216. Meant nothing by it.

217. Man spends every week working a piece of land...

218. but never seeding, never watering, never growing a ding-dang thing.

219. It's curious behavior.

220. Great customer though.

221. He— He bought some bizarre shit.

222. Yeah, that sounds like him.

223. What is this?

224. Hello.

225. There's a highly entertaining movie about a killer dog

226. happening right over there.

227. Is this a seismic map?

228. - Yes. How did you know that? - Because it's a map of seismic activity.

229. - Right. But— - You're a seismologist?

230. Does that seem so hard to believe?

231. Figured you for a football coach.

232. Thank you.

233. These don't look tectonic or volcanic.

234. Okay, smarty.

235. Here, check this out.

236. This is a volcano, all right?

237. It builds and crests.

238. But this is a tectonic earthquake.

239. Notice a little P-wave followed by a large S wave.

240. Yeah, I'm not an idiot.

241. Clearly.

242. Well, this is the pattern in Summerville.

243. Large P-wave, small S wave. Like an explosion.

244. - Where is it coming from? - I don't know. I don't know.

245. I set up geophones, but I can't triangulate.

246. Are you using three?

247. Yeah. I know how many sides there are in a triangle.

248. I just thought you were being obtuse.

249. Was that a geometry joke?

250. Yes, that's why I winked.

251. That's terrible.

252. No, I loved it.

253. I mean, somehow, a town that isn't anywhere near a tectonic plate,

254. that has no underground volcanic activity, no fault lines,

255. no fracking, no loud music even,

256. is shaking on a daily basis.

257. Maybe it's the apocalypse.

258. Twenty-three, 24, 25.

259. Hey, no-skills. How's inventory?

260. How's it going? No, it's not good. It's not good at all.

261. - Does everyone do this? - Yeah, it's important.

262. You okay?

263. Your lips are literally blue.

264. Yeah, I'm fine.

265. - You should borrow my hoodie. - No, it's fine. Seriously.

266. It's really masculine.

267. It's got a wolf on it. Trust me.

268. Okay.

269. I'm surprised it fits me.

270. Yeah, it's my boyfriend's, actually.

271. Back to inventory.

272. Okay, we're speeding. Three, two, one.

273. Yeah, just introduce yourself and tell me what you ate for breakfast.

274. Phoebe.

275. Toast.

276. Okay, maybe a little more. Tell me a joke or something.

277. A joke?

278. What do you call a dead polar bear?

279. Anything you want.

280. It can't hear you now.

281. That was funny.

282. You're funny.

283. Pretty hilarious joke.

284. Fun fact: Did you know Summerville has more dead residents than living ones?

285. Yeah, that's how cemeteries work.

286. Wertheimers Hardware, run by the Illuminati.

287. - Lizard people. - Lizard people?

288. Jefferson, Einstein, Beyoncé? How do you think we got the pyramids?

289. - Slaves? - Movie theater.

290. That one's haunted.

291. I don't believe in ghosts.

292. What?

293. How can you—?

294. I mean, all the evidence! You don't believe in spirits?

295. No.

296. I think we're all just kind of meat puppets.

297. There's something you need to see. I'll grab my wheels.

298. - Are we even allowed to be here? - Oh, yeah.

299. Totally.

300. The mine's been closed since the '40s.

301. They just put all these signs up 'cause of hazardous chemical leaks

302. and on account of dynamite.

303. I do this.

304. The whole town was basically a mining operation.

305. They bore out this mountain like a grapefruit

306. and smelted everything into cold-riveted selenium girders.

307. Why would you make a steel beam out of an electro conductor like selenium?

308. Right?

309. Weird.

310. Until one day,

311. they were forced to close down the whole enchilada.

312. Why?

313. One by one, miners who had worked for years

314. began leaping down the mine shaft to their death.

315. They called it the Shandorian curse.

316. Who built these?

317. Depends who you believe.

318. One day, they just showed up without explanation.

319. Cool.

320. What a shitbox.

321. So, what's your podcast about?

322. Mostly mysteries and the unknown, conspiracy theories,

323. the occasional restaurant review.

324. Maybe I could check it out sometime.

325. - Really? - Yeah.

326. The show really finds its voice on Episode 46.

327. Okay.

328. Hey.

329. Look, this is totally cool if this is a no. Zero "presh."

330. But...

331. do you wanna be my lab partner?

332. Well, I don't think we're gonna be doing any labs, but yeah.

333. Yeah, sure, I'd love to.

334. Cool, cool. All right.

335. Yeah.

336. Well, this is me.

337. The Dirt Farmer's house?

338. - Yeah, he was my grandfather. - No way, dude!

339. So you're just gonna walk in?

340. Are you recording me?

341. Yeah, just in case your body's pulled apart into tiny pieces

342. by an unseen dark force.

343. All right. Bye!

344. Okay, so this is happening.

345. Hello?

346. No!

347. Hi, I'm Chucky. Wanna play?

348. I need to know what's lurking inside.

349. No way.

350. - Killer replica. - Totally.

351. A replica of what?

352. A trap.

353. A ghost trap.

354. How do you of all people not know about this?

355. I'm ashamed.

356. I was obsessed. New York in the '80s, it was like The Walking Dead.

357. Then it just stopped?

358. There hasn't been a ghost sighting in 30 years.

359. Wait a minute.

360. This thing is real?

361. - Absolutely. - Maybe.

362. I found it in my living room.

363. She lives on the Dirt Farm.

364. Oh, the really spooky one?

365. Yeah, the one that says "dirt" on it.

366. What happened in New York?

367. The whole city was freaking out.

368. Then these physicists showed up with these portable proton accelerators

369. and blew the roof off of a Manhattan high-rise.

370. None of this rings a bell?

371. It happened 20 years before we were born.

372. I believe it.

373. Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

374. I mean,

375. your dad never mentioned this?

376. It's just my mom.

377. Just your mom.

378. Cool.

379. "Cool"?

380. I wonder if this still works.

381. Should we open it?

382. Glasses.

383. Two millimeters of plastic eye protection?

384. Are you sure this is safe?

385. Safe?

386. No.

387. No.

388. History is safe.

389. Geometry, that's safe.

390. Science is all particle accelerators and hydrogen bombs.

391. Science is giving yourself the plague and gambling on the cure.

392. Science is reckless.

393. Totally! Yes! It's punk rock.

394. It's a safety pin through the nipple of academia.

395. - Ouch. - Fire it up.

396. I've always wanted to do this.

397. Yes!

398. We should probably get out of here.

399. You're an adult.

400. Yeah.

401. And liable.

402. You know what this means?

403. Your grandfather was a Ghostbuster.

404. Yes, I'm aware.

405. It has a door and windows, like any ordinary house.

406. But the distinct smell of evil...

407. is prominent.

408. What are you doing?

409. Oh, giving a little color. Setting the mood.

410. It's creepy. I dig it.

411. Cool.

412. Aztec death whistle.

413. It's designed to ward off evil spirits.

414. It's got a really horrifying sound—

415. What—?

416. What the hell is that?

417. - Aztec death whistle. Can I keep it? - Yes. Just don't do that again.

418. Hi.

419. Hello again.

420. You brought them home.

421. It's a service I provide.

422. Well, I'm also an escort.

423. - That came out wrong. - Yep.

424. The truth is, I've always wondered what lurked inside this haunt box.

425. Right. Well, the only thing lurking inside here is my slowly dying soul.

426. Is that what that smell is?

427. Well, it's not dinner, so...

428. All right.

429. - Would you... - Sure.

430. - ... like...? - Yeah.

431. I don't have any food.

432. - It's fine. - Tour.

433. - Great. - Great.

434. Here's the dining room.

435. I think Grooberson's trying to bone your mom.

436. That doesn't bother you?

437. No, of course it bothers me.

438. I just don't exhibit emotions the same way everyone else does.

439. Inside, I'm vomiting.

440. Wait.

441. Isn't this what we saw earlier?

442. "The Sumerians believed in a land of the dead,

443. a dark and shadowy realm within the bowels of the earth.

444. The souls of the dead are ruled by a mighty god, Gozer,

445. and protected by a powerful Gatekeeper

446. and Keymaster,

447. in order that Gozer might rise up and walk the human plane again.

448. The Gatekeeper and Keymaster must assume the form of beasts."

449. What did we let out?

450. - Has this ever been cleaned before? - Not by me.

451. We're heading up the mountain.

452. You coming?

453. Rivers are like the moms of canyons.

454. When you think about it.

455. Why'd you bring me here?

456. Entertainment value.

457. Can you juggle?

458. It's not funny.

459. What are you doing here in Summerville anyway?

460. Honestly, my mom won't say it, but we're broke.

461. We got evicted, and the only thing that's left in our name

462. is this creepy, old farmhouse our grandfather left us

463. in the middle of nowhere.

464. No offense.

465. I'm not offended.

466. This place is a dump.

467. Why do you live here?

468. I'm fourth-generation dump, so...

469. Think you'll ever leave?

470. I mean, if I don't, what does that say about me?

471. You don't have a car.

472. What the hell? Get out.

473. What is that?

474. I don't know.

475. Gozer.

476. What was that?

477. It's not funny.

478. What is this?

479. That's a map.

480. Yeah, I know it's a map.

481. But this thing's ancient. It's written in some kind of cuneiform.

482. Oh, yeah?

483. This is Summerville.

484. - That doesn't make sense. - No, not at all.

485. Summerville's not even 100 years old,

486. but this thing's written in a language from thousands of years ago.

487. For all I know, that's the language he spoke.

488. That's it?

489. You don't think this is incredible and bizarre and fascinating?

490. Can I have this?

491. Yeah, sure. Weirdo.

492. That's how it starts. First there's a map. Then you move into a haunted house.

493. Then everyone's calling you the Dirt Farmer.

494. What about Phoebe? Think she'd want any of this?

495. Oh, I'm sure Phoebe will find something.

496. Hello?

497. Two of the CRT emitters are missing.

498. Thanks.

499. How on earth did you build such a small cyclotron?

500. Got it. You're a genius.

501. Needle-nose pliers?

502. Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?

503. Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?

504. Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter, or ghost?

505. If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute.

506. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.

507. Ghostbusters.

508. Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day

509. to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.

510. We're ready to believe you.

511. Hey, you're awake.

512. What are you up to?

513. Experiments.

514. Lame.

515. Oh, you found popcorn.

516. What kind of scientist was Grandpa?

517. The kind that repels loved ones.

518. Maybe a physicist?

519. Sure.

520. So tomorrow I was thinking of grabbing dinner with Gary.

521. Who's Gary?

522. Mr. Grooberson.

523. His name is Gary Grooberson?

524. - You have a date with Gary Grooberson. - It's just dinner.

525. Good night, Phoebe.

526. Don't be yourself.

527. Welcome to Rust City.

528. This is where they processed all the raw selenium?

529. Yeah, I guess.

530. Cool.

531. How'd you know how to fix it? I mean, no offense, but you are 12.

532. I kind of met my grandfather last night.

533. He showed me what to do.

534. No way. Was he, like, howling and clanking chains?

535. No. That would've been weird.

536. Switch me on.

537. Safety's off.

538. Her feet are planted. Her face is poised.

539. Will this be the moment of her death?

540. Nobody knows.

541. Yeah!

542. Oh, my gosh.

543. That is the best thing I've ever seen.

544. Did I hit it?

545. You didn't hit it. You destroyed it!

546. It doesn't even exist anymore!

547. My turn.

548. What was that?

549. Probably a pigeon or something. Give me the gun.

550. What is that?

551. Come on.

552. Hold on.

553. You coming?

554. I'm coming.

555. I gotta come back here for my Halloween episode.

556. It's a ghost.

557. Aren't you just a little bit freaked out?

558. Overstimulation calms me.

559. - Okay, okay, okay. - What's that for?

560. I have a plan.

561. Wait!

562. - Get the trap! - Okay.

563. I got him!

564. Quick!

565. - Nuggets! - Catch him!

566. Okay.

567. Come on!

568. Come on, you can do this.

569. Come on, darling.

570. Yes!

571. Yes!

572. Shit!

573. Hey.

574. Hey.

575. This is Podcast.

576. He's my friend.

577. You have a friend?

578. You have a car?

579. Yeah, it's a Cadillac.

580. Hey, dude. We need a ride. Do you know how to drive?

581. He doesn't. He failed his driver's test three times.

582. Get in the back.

583. Thank you.

584. It sounds crazy, but Oklahoma never had earthquakes. For centuries.

585. But then, between 2010 and 2016, they had like a thousand.

586. Oh, jeez, what happened?

587. Oil and gas, that's what happened.

588. Yeah, they started pumping millions of gallons of salinated water

589. deep into the Arbuckle Formation.

590. And then the porous limestone...

591. Are you drunk? Or are you just really bored?

592. Because I think I can see you falling asleep.

593. I just have an allergy to science.

594. Have you tried Benadryl?

595. I've tried whiskey.

596. It's better than Benadryl.

597. But science is amazing. Science is pure.

598. It's an absolute.

599. I mean, it's an answer to all the madness.

600. Why don't you like science? Was Phoebe's dad a scientist, or...?

601. - Oh, gross. No. - No?

602. I'm making an assumption.

603. What's his deal?

604. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

605. He was fine with Trevor, but with Phoebe, he just really—

606. He couldn't connect with her, so...

607. Right. Well, he sounds like a royal dirtbag.

608. Oh, no, he was actually just a very ordinary dirtbag.

609. Well, hey, at least, Phoebe turned out okay, right?

610. I hope so.

611. I don't know.

612. She really keeps me on the outside.

613. She's just an awkward, nerdy kid, but she's awesome.

614. I think she's great.

615. I think you're great. You're a great mom.

616. Yeah. You showed up. You win.

617. I just wish she'd relax, you know? Just get into some trouble.

618. There's plenty of time for that.

619. Maybe she'll take up pole dancing.

620. - She's not very coordinated. - Oh, I don't think that matters.

621. So, what the hell is going on?

622. In the 1980's, New York City was attacked.

623. - I know the Manhattan ghost stories. - The stories are real.

624. And so were the guys who climbed a building and saved the world

625. and fought back an invading army of the undead.

626. Not to mention a 100-foot marshmallow man.

627. Our grandfather was Egon Spengler.

628. He was a Ghostbuster.

629. All units, we're getting reports of, well,

630. some kind of animal taking a bite out of Steve Fletcher's truck.

631. Apparently, he almost took the whole tailgate off?

632. - Muncher. - Muncher.

633. - So, what should I be looking for? - Evidence.

634. Can you stop breathing in my ear?

635. No.

636. You guys, this is kind of stupid.

637. Are you sure you didn't see, like, a raccoon

638. or, like, a possum?

639. There!

640. Is that a—?

641. Free-floating metal muncher. Definitely Class Five.

642. Okay, what do we do?

643. Let's get him.

644. What?

645. Let me get a photo first.

646. Guys?

647. It has a gunner seat?

648. Go, go, go!

649. What the—?

650. - Yes! - Trap him!

651. Okay. Okay. Here we go.

652. Come on, keep it straight.

653. You try driving this thing.

654. Left, left, left!

655. Ready!

656. Trap him already!

657. - Three, two— - Three, two—

658. One.

659. Oh, my God, what just happened?

660. He's heading for the mountain.

661. - Closer. - Okay.

662. I'm in range.

663. She got him!

664. Whatever we're doing, we have to do it now.

665. Come on!

666. - Yes! - Yeah!

667. Bridge!

668. - What was that? - I think we just caught a ghost.

669. Sorry.

670. I was here last night.

671. Does any of this bother you?

672. - What do you mean? - Dude, your grandfather was a legend.

673. You can literally be anything you want.

674. Like a influencer or a DJ.

675. It was easier when I thought he went nuts.

676. - He didn't go nuts. - Exactly. So why did he leave Mom?

677. Oh, no, no, no.

678. - We're screwed. We're so screwed. - What do we do?

679. - I say we fight. - What? No. Just check the glove box.

680. License and registration.

681. We were on that big mountain,

682. and then I went to go hang out with this girl in this mining cage.

683. All of a sudden, it started shaking, like an earthquake.

684. And there were lights, and then I looked down in this giant hole.

685. Inside of it, right in the middle of it, was either a person or a reptile—

686. Are you even paying attention?

687. Yeah. I'm just excited we're in jail.

688. I thought I heard something say, "Gozer."

689. He speaks the truth.

690. I was there.

691. Hey. Hi. How—? What brings you here?

692. Actually, you could help me with hiding something.

693. Do you have priors? 'Cause they'll charge you as a minor.

694. You'll get two years. Max.

695. - Two? - I'll visit you, okay?

696. Lucky.

697. Quit messing with my inmates.

698. Sorry, Dad.

699. "Dad." So you're just...

700. Waiting for my ride. Yeah.

701. But you look good behind bars.

702. Hey. Don't we get a phone call?

703. Sure you do.

704. Who you gonna call?

705. Make it quick.

706. Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?

707. Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter, or ghost?

708. If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute.

709. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.

710. - Ray's Occult, and we're closed. - Wait! I only get one phone call.

711. I'm...

712. in prison.

713. The slammer, huh? I've been there myself.

714. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm listening.

715. Are you Ray Stantz, the Ghostbuster?

716. - And now I'm hanging up. - Hang on. Please.

717. I'm calling about Egon Spengler.

718. Egon Spengler can rot in hell.

719. He died last week.

720. Oh, man.

721. No kidding.

722. - Weren't you two friends? - That was a long time ago.

723. What happened to you guys?

724. Oh, well, look, when we started, busting ghosts was a gas.

725. The economy was good. Reagan years.

726. People believed in us. Then things got slow, hauntings got thin.

727. Venkman thought we did our job too well.

728. We could barely keep up our mortgage.

729. Some actor bought up most of Tribeca, and we lost the firehouse.

730. It's a Starbucks now.

731. - So then you all just walked away? - Peter went back to academia.

732. He's at SUNY Cortland now. He's a professor emeritus.

733. He teaches advertising and promotion.

734. Winston went into finance. He worked hard, coined a fortune and—

735. And I'm here.

736. - Well, what about Egon? - Well, he wasn't helping.

737. We went from ten calls a week to one if we were lucky.

738. Egon started to tell people that their ghost problems didn't matter

739. because the world was coming to an end.

740. He got spooky. Freaked me out.

741. One morning, I go to work and Ecto-1, our old Cadillac, is gone,

742. his neutrona thrower, collider pack, all the traps,

743. 16 ounces of fuel isotope, all gone!

744. He cleaned us out.

745. Now we were the dead ones.

746. - Don't you think he had a reason? - He phoned me about ten years later,

747. some small town in Oklahoma.

748. He kept rambling about "the rising storm" and "the huge psychic tornado"

749. that was gonna "consume humanity in darkness forever."

750. And, kid, I wanted to believe.

751. You don't understand.

752. There is this mountain and it has these ancient carvings—

753. Kid, there are a lot of mountains with ancient carvings.

754. Take a little advice.

755. Don't go chasing ghosts.

756. Egon Spengler was my grandfather.

757. Time's up.

758. Hey, hello?

759. - Where are my kids? - They're in the lockup.

760. My children are not criminals.

761. - Sure they're not. - Driving without a license.

762. Expired registration.

763. Speeding.

764. - They can't be the first to go joyriding. - No, they are not.

765. But they are the first to destroy half of Main Street

766. with whatever that thing is.

767. - Sorry. - What were you thinking?

768. You know, you two could have really hurt yourselves.

769. Hey. I'm Gary.

770. You process them out yet?

771. Did you catch anything?

772. It's inside the trap.

773. - Right now? - Yes.

774. Let's go. You were supposed to look after her this summer.

775. - I was? - Not you. Him.

776. - This was her idea. - But what about our stuff? The Ecto-1?

777. Everything will remain nice and safe in our impound locker.

778. - No! We need it. - Phoebe, let's go.

779. We caught a ghost tonight.

780. - Dirt Farmer's family. - It's true.

781. And there will be more.

782. You're starting to sound like your lunatic grandfather.

783. Phoebe! She didn't mean it.

784. You wanna spend the night in my jail?

785. You can keep it.

786. Go. Now.

787. - Trevor. - I'll see you at work.

788. Yeah. See you.

789. Hey.

790. All right, you guys.

791. Remember that—

792. Yeah, you got it.

793. I'm sorry the night went sideways.

794. No. I had a blast.

795. Why don't we just pick it up tomorrow night, same time.

796. - You really want more of this? - Are you kidding me?

797. We had kung pao shrimp. We went to jail.

798. I don't know how we're gonna top this. This is a home run.

799. My life is a dumpster fire.

800. I love dumpster fires. You should see my apartment.

801. I don't mean now. Or anytime soon.

802. You don't want to— I'd need to clean—

803. This is moving way too fast. You gotta just relax.

804. The kids hungry? They want some of this unrefrigerated shrimp?

805. - We're barely hanging on here. - You don't understand.

806. I understand you drove around town, destroying expensive property.

807. Don't you think your father came out here for a reason?

808. No.

809. I think he was a sad old man who turned his back on his family, his partners.

810. And for what? For a stupid farm in a town nobody cares about.

811. Where, by the way, everybody thought he was nuts.

812. Yeah, great decision, Dad.

813. He was special. He loved science, like me.

814. Why didn't you tell me my grandfather was Egon Spengler?

815. Hey, I'm glad you found yourself here. I really am.

816. But all I see are reminders that I didn't mean a thing to him.

817. He never cared about me.

818. He's not nuts.

819. Well, then he's an asshole.

820. Welcome to the family.

821. Yeah.

822. Jamoca.

823. There we go.

824. Strawberry, red velvet...

825. Blue velvet?

826. Oh, God.

827. Hey—

828. Okay, so, what exactly is happening with the map?

829. See the concentric circles around the mountain?

830. No.

831. - Do you see the circles? - Yes.

832. Something's happening inside that old mine.

833. Yeah. I know that. It's pretty obvious.

834. So I did some digging on the word you heard in the mountain. "Gozer."

835. You did some digging?

836. Gozer was a Sumerian god who once walked amongst the living.

837. A soul-eating, flame-dripping deity of evil.

838. And I think it wants back.

839. Here?

840. I know. I would've picked Orlando.

841. What does the name Ivo Shandor mean to you guys?

842. Ivo Shandor? He built this whole town.

843. He built the mine, foundry, the school, library.

844. - His name is on everything. - That's tacky.

845. In New York, he created an apartment building made out of selenium girders,

846. mined from right here.

847. On that same rooftop is where our grandfather fought

848. to keep a horde of ghosts from entering our dimension.

849. Phoebe, what exactly is happening here?

850. I can only think of one way for us to find out.

851. So, what do a cigarette and hamster have in common?

852. What?

853. They're both harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

854. The worst time.

855. Hey, guys, look.

856. Is that her?

857. Is that Gozer?

858. Gozer isn't he or she.

859. Pretty woke for 3000 BC.

860. Everyone watch their steps.

861. Another hole?

862. I wonder where this one leads to.

863. A sacrificial death pit.

864. - What were they sacrificing? - Virgins, probably.

865. Tough luck for you, dude. Sorry.

866. Well, statistically, most 15-year-olds are virgins.

867. Fifteen? You're 15?

868. I'll be 16 in February.

869. It's June.

870. What are those holes in the wall?

871. They're vacancies.

872. If this is a tomb, where are all the bodies?

873. Found one.

874. - What? - Oh, my God.

875. Is he sleeping?

876. Dude, he's in a coffin.

877. It's Ivo Shandor. He's been in here for 75 years?

878. He looks fantastic.

879. You know when you die, your fingernails keep growing.

880. Not true. Your skin just shrinks.

881. Something was coming and he knew it.

882. I think these are years.

883. 1883.

884. The Krakatoa eruption.

885. The most violent volcanic activity in human history.

886. What happened in 1908?

887. Probably the Tunguska blast over Siberia.

888. 1945.

889. What didn't happen?

890. 1984.

891. Ghosts attack New York City.

892. The Manhattan Crossrip.

893. - It's a countdown. - Like a prophecy?

894. Do you guys hear that?

895. Yeah, I do.

896. I think it's coming from the death pit.

897. Phoebe.

898. Phoebe!

899. The earthquakes.

900. - Oh, my gosh! - Phoebe!

901. Phoebe.

902. Phoebe.

903. I think he's alive.

904. - Are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah.

905. - Are you? - Yeah.

906. Pheebs, what's wrong?

907. He was right all along.

908. - What do you mean? - Our grandfather.

909. He was right here. He built this.

910. He was standing guard, even when no one believed him.

911. He sacrificed everything.

912. His life.

913. His friends.

914. Us.

915. Bummer.

916. Dude.

917. We need to tell Mom.

918. Phoebe?

919. Pheebs?

920. Mom?

921. Mom?

922. There is no Mom. There is only Zuul.

923. Mom, are you okay?

924. There is no Mom. There is only Zuul.

925. What's happening?

926. Mom?

927. Is she okay?

928. Mom?

929. Are you the Keymaster?

930. - I don't know. - Mom!

931. - What do I do? - Mom, stop!

932. Mom!

933. What the hell is going on?

934. What is all this?

935. This isn't a farm.

936. It's a trap.

937. What?

938. Nothing.

939. This is what he's been working on all those years.

940. - Building this model? - The detail is amazing.

941. No, he came here to finish what the original Ghostbusters started.

942. - To trap Gozer... - Out in that dirt field.

943. Exactly. These big silos act as a capacitor.

944. - What's a capacitor? - Would it kill you to read?

945. Would it kill you to just tell me?

946. Once activated, these towers can hold a charge for one moment.

947. But in that one moment, they can power hundreds of traps.

948. So how do we get Gozer into the field?

949. - Gozer's protected by two evil spirits. - The Keymaster and the Gatekeeper.

950. She needs both of them. No Gatekeeper, no Gozer.

951. First these spirits must possess two human souls.

952. - Like Mom. - So they can unite...

953. formally.

954. - What are we talking about? - We're thinking at least third base.

955. Go, Mom.

956. I like your eyes.

957. Thanks.

958. They were just here.

959. There she is.

960. - Got anything? - No, just more stupid guns.

961. A jail inside a jail.

962. What are you talking about?

963. No, no, no!

964. It's an ANSI Class One electromagnetic deadbolt.

965. I believe in you.

966. It's unpickable.

967. - What are you doing? - I have a plan.

968. Wait!

969. Come on. Let's go.

970. Okay.

971. - Ready? - I'll be waiting.

972. That's my mom.

973. What?

974. Your Eminence.

975. Goddess of Gods.

976. I have built this temple for you,

977. so that you might return to Earth...

978. and together...

979. we...

980. We can rule the world.

981. Excuse me.

982. Pardon me.

983. Yeah, hi.

984. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

985. A...

986. A whale—

987. There's two whales in a bar. One of them goes:

988. And then the other one goes:

989. "Go home. You're drunk."

990. Okay.

991. So a grasshopper walks into a bar...

992. and the bartender's like, "We have a drink named after you."

993. Then the grasshopper's like:

994. "You have a drink named Steve?"

995. Have you come to offer yourself in sacrifice?

996. What?

997. Are you prepared to die?

998. No, I'm 12.

999. Are you?

1000. Mom!

1001. - Wait, wait. What's going on? - Hey!

1002. - What's happening? Where am I? - It's okay.

1003. - You were possessed. - Possessed?

1004. - Then you turned into a dog. - Then you got humpy.

1005. - Humpy? - Hold on!

1006. Oh, Phoebe. Phoebe. There's this secret basement...

1007. - We know. - ... with computers and equipment.

1008. - Isn't that place insane? - Yes!

1009. - And it seemed like he had a plan. - We're aware.

1010. And there were all these photos of me. Like he was tracking my entire life.

1011. - How rewarding. - Super news. We wanna hear about it.

1012. Yeah, but we're trying to save the world right now.

1013. Cool. I'm in. How can I help?

1014. - No! - What the hell was that?

1015. - That was your boyfriend Gary. - Boyfriend?

1016. - Inside that trap is the Gatekeeper. - Gatekeeper?

1017. If the Gatekeeper and the Keymaster reunite—

1018. - Keymaster? - One second.

1019. Phoebe.

1020. You're— You're—

1021. I'm a scientist.

1022. - We got her! - Yes!

1023. This was Grandpa's plan.

1024. Coming in hot!

1025. Mom, come on!

1026. Oh, my God.

1027. - Get back. Get back. - Mom.

1028. - What's up? - Hey.

1029. No, no, no.

1030. Pull the lever.

1031. Pull—?

1032. Hey!

1033. Come on, what are you waiting for?

1034. I'm waiting for this thing to work! It's not working!

1035. - Mom, hit the pedal! - Pedal?

1036. Lucky!

1037. Podcast, what are you doing?

1038. I've got my own problems!

1039. Oh, no.

1040. No.

1041. Hey, flattop.

1042. Have you missed us?

1043. Gozer the Gozerian,

1044. in the name of the county of Summerville, state of Oklahoma,

1045. the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, all the members of Ducks Unlimited,

1046. the Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons,

1047. I command you under the National Invasive Species Act

1048. to depart this world immediately.

1049. Bravo.

1050. I think she remembers us.

1051. Are you...

1052. a god?

1053. - Ray? - Oh, come on, Ray.

1054. Yes.

1055. Yeah, we're all gods.

1056. Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty dang special down here.

1057. On a personal note:

1058. I thought that we had busted up for good.

1059. It wasn't working for me.

1060. My friends didn't think so. I know yours didn't.

1061. Okay, playtime's over. Let's toast this muffin.

1062. Light them up.

1063. Man, I love that sound.

1064. On the count of three.

1065. Go on "two." One. Two.

1066. Yeah, nothing stings like a billion electron volts!

1067. Yes!

1068. - Do you feel that? - Yeah.

1069. She's uncrossing the streams!

1070. No!

1071. Are they dead?

1072. I don't remember this job being so painful.

1073. - I do. - You got a lot of nerve.

1074. Coming back here, crawling back to me.

1075. We could've been the most spectacular power couple.

1076. You know, my sense of fun and your personality.

1077. But, no, you always had to vanquish and conquer.

1078. Always had to maim somebody.

1079. And that's probably the number one reason why—

1080. Good try, anyway.

1081. Now we're finished, babe.

1082. We're finished.

1083. No.

1084. Come on, Phoebe.

1085. Holy shit.

1086. We're on!

1087. I thought you might turn up.

1088. I'm sorry...

1089. I didn't believe you.

1090. I should've called.

1091. I miss you, my friend.

1092. Are you okay?

1093. - You scared the shit out of me. - Mom.

1094. I can't breathe.

1095. Okay.

1096. Hi there.

1097. Pete Venkman from the home office.

1098. - Thanks for pitching in. - You're welcome.

1099. I like your style.

1100. Who's that one?

1101. Callie.

1102. Callie Spengler.

1103. Spengler?

1104. Weird name. Try to make the best of that.

1105. All right. We're gonna have cocoa inside.

1106. And some of us will have rum with it.

1107. Lucky!

1108. God. Hey. Hey, man.

1109. - Are you okay? - Yeah, I— Yeah.

1110. My hands hurt from galloping.

1111. Oh, my God.

1112. I totally thought I lost you.

1113. Sorry about that.

1114. That was weird.

1115. Yeah.

1116. - I'm bleeding. Why am I bleeding? - You headbutted a park bench.

1117. - Oh, right. Yeah. - Yeah.

1118. - Hi. - Hi.

1119. - Back there, yeah. - Yeah.

1120. I mean, before we became dogs

1121. and opened the gates of hell, I think that maybe we—

1122. Yeah. Yeah, I think so too.

1123. - But then we saved the world, so... - That's true.

1124. Are you all right, son?

1125. You just singlehandedly defeated a manifestation of Gozer.

1126. You gotta be on my podcast.

1127. Sure. What's it called?

1128. Mystical Tales of the Unknown Universe.

1129. M.T.U.U., that's you?

1130. Wait.

1131. You're my subscriber?

1132. Really found its voice in the 46th episode.

1133. What did they do to you?

1134. Don't worry.

1135. I'll take you home, get you all cleaned up.

1136. Go.

1137. Hey.

1138. Tell me what this is.

1139. Lines.

1140. Two—

1141. No, three...

1142. wavy lines.

1143. - It's amazing. - You're amazing.

1144. With your ability to...

1145. flood my psychic powers.

1146. I can't believe you used to shock your students.

1147. Between us, I only zapped the guys.

1148. It was flawed science. I know that now. I admit that.

1149. Ready?

1150. Try this one.

1151. Take a moment.

1152. It's a five-pointed star.

1153. - Yes? - How are you doing that?

1154. Some believe that true love imbues a subject with the ability—

1155. - Did you mark the cards? - No.

1156. You did, didn't you?

1157. Yeah.

1158. It works well.

1159. - I want you to take this. - What is it?

1160. It's a souvenir from the World's Fair at Flushing Meadow in 1964.

1161. It's my lucky coin.

1162. I shouldn't take it. We might not be coming back.

1163. Take it anyway. I got another one at home.

1164. Egon was the brains.

1165. Ray was the heart.

1166. Peter just kept it cool.

1167. Who were you?

1168. The sex appeal.

1169. You've done very well for yourself.

1170. A lot of shelf space.

1171. See, that's the thing.

1172. I don't do it for me.

1173. I do it for my kids,

1174. and I wanna be an example of what's possible.

1175. You still covering the rent at Ray's bookshop?

1176. Ray's gonna turn a profit one of these days.

1177. I remember the day you came in.

1178. I came in looking for a steady paycheck.

1179. But busting ghosts with the guys...

1180. taught me not to be afraid.

1181. That I had the tools and I had the talent.

1182. I started this business with one employee.

1183. And I've grown it into a thriving global enterprise.

1184. I may be a businessman,

1185. but I will always be a Ghostbuster.