1. So, the Aldridge Mansion is the only
19th century home in New York City
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2. preserved both inside and out.
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3. At the time of its construction,
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4. it was one of the most
elegant homes in existence,
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5. featuring every luxury, including a face bidet
and an anti-Irish security fence.
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6. Over here,
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7. you can imagine Sir Aldridge
entertaining his wealthy guests.
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8. It's said that, in this very room, P.T. Barnum
first had the idea to enslave elephants.
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9. And if you'll follow me...
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10. Now, I'm gonna tell you
something a little spooky.
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11. On the morning of October 25th, 1894,
Sir Aldridge awoke, furious,
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12. when his breakfast was not waiting for him.
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13. So he called to his servants,
but none of them responded.
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14. Why?
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15. Because, during the night, one by one,
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16. they had each been stabbed to death
in their sleep.
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17. It was later discovered
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18. they were murdered by his eldest daughter,
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19. Gertrude Aldridge.
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20. Sir Aldridge once wrote in his diary,
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21. "I know God makes no mistakes,
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22. "but I believe he may have been drunk
when he built Gertrude's personality."
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23. Now, to spare the family public humiliation,
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24. instead of turning her in to the police,
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25. they locked her in this basement.
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26. And they fed her
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27. through this slot.
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28. Years later, when a new owner moved in,
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29. they dug out her remains.
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30. But, after repeatedly hearing strange sounds,
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31. he sealed it shut.
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32. That's right.
No one has opened this door since then.
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33. Okay.
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34. Follow me.
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35. Maybe steer clear of the door.
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36. Sorry, Sir Aldridge. I got to get out of here!
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37. Garret, you idiot.
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38. No.
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39. No! No! No!
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40. No! No!
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41. No!
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42. Daniel. Teresa.
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43. Sean, that is an excellent question.
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44. As you can see from my calculations,
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45. we will soon be able to combine
general relativity and quantum theory.
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46. Teaching in the big hall. Big day.
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47. Big hall. Big hall. Big hall!
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48. Big hall!
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49. Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to you
about something you wrote.
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50. I'm sorry. Yes. What...
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51. What publication?
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52. I'm talking about your book.
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53. Book.
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54. I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
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55. Now, if you'll excuse me,
my class will be here any minute.
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56. You're Erin Gilbert, right?
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57. Co-author of Ghosts from Our Past:
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58. Both Literally and Figuratively:
The Study of the Paranormal?
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59. No self-respecting scientist
believes in the paranormal.
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60. I can assure you that.
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61. I'm sorry.
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62. You're looking for a different Erin Gilbert.
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63. Okay. But this really does look like you.
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64. What? No.
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65. Yeah, that's me.
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66. Look, it was a very long time ago,
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67. and it was just a gag
between a couple of friends.
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68. I'm sorry.
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69. A 460-page gag?
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70. The first sentence is, "This is not a joke."
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71. What do you want?
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72. Well, I'm Ed Mulgrave.
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73. I'm the historian at the Aldridge Mansion,
and I believe it's haunted.
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74. If you could just come take a look.
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75. I tried the police, but I just sound crazy.
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76. I'm sorry.
That book you're holding is utter nonsense.
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77. I don't even know how you got that.
I thought I burned both copies.
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78. It's on Amazon. Both hard copy and e-book.
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79. - What?
- It's on Books on Tape, too.
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80. Only, I know how to read.
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81. Is it now?
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82. No!
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83. No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna kill you, Abby.
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84. Erin.
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85. Hi! Dr Filmore. Hello, hi.
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86. We're set for the final review
of your tenure case on Thursday.
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87. Great.
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88. But I saw that you had
a recommendation letter
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89. from Dr Branum at Princeton.
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90. Their science department
is really not what it used to be.
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91. And I would consider getting a referral
from a more prestigious college.
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92. More prestigious than Princeton?
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93. Yes.
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94. You see, I think you're an asset
to modern physics,
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95. but I would hate to see you
throw it down the drain.
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96. I won't throw it down the drain, sir.
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97. And I will get on that letter.
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98. And about your clothes...
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99. Yes? Did you...
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100. Too sexy for academia?
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101. Never mind.
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102. No, no, no. What is it?
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103. - Never mind!
- I don't...
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104. Abby. You promised you wouldn't do this.
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105. "Abigail continues her passion
for the study of the paranormal
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106. "at the Kenneth P. Higgins
Institute of Science."
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107. Come on, F7!
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108. Are you kidding me?
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109. Hello?
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110. I've been waiting a long time.
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111. Has been a while, hasn't it?
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112. Hope you brought me more than one wonton.
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113. Excuse me?
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114. Well, well, well.
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115. Erin.
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116. Abby.
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117. Bennie.
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118. Yes, I know who you are, Bennie. Can I just...
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119. Can I have my lunch
that I've been waiting an hour for?
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120. You know they make
smaller headphones now, right?
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121. It's an advance in science.
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122. Thank you for asking.
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123. Probably the future you're looking at.
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124. Here you go.
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125. Why don't you show Miss Gilbert to the door.
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126. It's just the same door we came in from.
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127. - Yeah, I know how to get out. It's figurative.
- It's really not that hard.
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128. - No, I'm okay.
- Don't.
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129. - I tried.
- Poorly.
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130. You put our book online
without my permission.
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131. I don't need your permission.
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132. Of course you need my permission.
I wrote that book with you.
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133. My name is on it.
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134. No. Absolutely not.
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135. That book is a whole new
revenue stream for me.
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136. And I'm, like, one-tenth away from
getting a new mini fridge in here.
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137. Look, I am up for tenure right now.
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138. "I'm up for tenure."
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139. And if my colleagues at Columbia University
Google my name,
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140. that is the first thing that comes up.
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141. Along with a ghost emoji now,
thank you very much,
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142. - that does a little dance.
- You know what?
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143. That book was our baby.
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144. And you abandoned that baby
before it even learned to fly!
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145. Okay, well, books can't fly.
And neither can babies, so...
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146. You don't know. I'll tell you what.
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147. If I had a human baby that could fly,
I wouldn't be telling the press about it.
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148. If I had a flying baby,
I'd zip this, and so would you.
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149. There is no experimental backing
for anything in that book.
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150. And it makes me look like a crazy person.
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151. - God! Are you kidding me?
- What?
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152. I got one wonton!
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153. I got a tub of soup,
and I got one split wonton.
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154. Look at that, just floating there.
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155. I'm sorry you're having
a soup crisis right now.
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156. There's not even any meat in there.
That's just a carrot.
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157. Abby, please.
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158. - Yes.
- Abby!
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159. You're killing me. I got one wonton again.
You got to send Bennie back.
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160. And tell him no tip. I should charge him.
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161. And it was split up the middle!
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162. Come here often?
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163. I'm sorry, hello?
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164. Who are you?
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165. - Holtzmann.
- Erin.
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166. I've heard terrible things about you.
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167. Don't get too close to her, Holtzmann.
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168. She'll ask you to write a book,
and then she'll squash your dreams.
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169. Okay.
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170. Holtzmann works with me here in the lab.
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171. She's a brilliant engineer and very loyal.
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172. She would not abandon you.
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173. I get it.
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174. She also happens to specialise in
experimental particle physics.
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175. Holtzmann and I are really busy here
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176. actualizing what we just
theorised about in our book.
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177. - Really?
- Yeah.
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178. We're incredibly close on the hollow laser
for the reverse tractor beam.
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179. Really close.
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180. You're making a reverse tractor beam?
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181. Abby, why don't you let her listen to the EVP.
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182. - What EVP?
- No. Not... There's no EVP.
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183. - EVP is electro...
- Electro voice phenomenon.
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184. I'm familiar. I know what it means.
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185. And there's never been one substantiated.
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186. There hasn't? There hasn't been one...
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187. You know what? You come with me.
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188. With a suit on and you get so cocky.
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189. A few months ago, we spent eight nights
at the Chelsea Hotel.
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190. We didn't get anything.
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191. Well, we didn't think so.
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192. And then later, in the lab, when we were
reviewing these tapes...
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193. - You really got me.
- You know what?
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194. Usually we can't even get people over here.
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195. - But we have never...
- She came right over to it.
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196. Never had anybody actually
put their face down close to the machine.
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197. It's a cool joke. That was funny.
It's disgusting.
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198. Is it more or less disgusting
if I tell you it came from the front?
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199. What's next? You gonna give me a wedgie?
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200. No. I think both of us pretty much feel
you have enough stuck up your butt.
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201. Burn!
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202. Okay, you know what, I thought
we could have an adult conversation,
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203. but apparently we can't.
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204. Erin, if you don't believe
in this stuff any more,
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205. then why were you looking for the book?
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206. A man came to see me at my work
saying his building was haunted.
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207. What building?
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208. The Aldridge Mansion.
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209. It's obviously a joke.
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210. What are you doing?
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211. See, this is, this is exactly...
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212. - You want to go find some ghosts?
- Yes.
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213. Break!
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214. - Wait, you're going?
- I got the pack.
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215. Abby! Please, Abby. The book.
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216. Come on. Let's go!
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217. I'm not going with you guys.
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218. No. Are you kidding?
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219. You were never invited!
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220. I need you out of the lab,
so I can lock the door.
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221. Well, you said "let's," so...
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222. - Oh, my God. Just pull the...
- We're wasting time.
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223. Just close the door behind you, it'll lock!
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224. Abby, wait!
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225. Hey! Taxi!
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226. - Hey! Hey!
- Abby.
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227. Abby, come on.
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228. Please, Abby, just
take the book down. Please.
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229. All right, all right,
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230. but you have to introduce us
to this guy at the Aldridge Mansion.
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231. Yes, he would love to meet you.
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232. Then I will consider, maybe,
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233. taking the book down
until you get your stupid tenure
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234. at your stupider college.
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235. Absolutely. Yes, I will. Yes, of course!
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236. You got it?
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237. Excuse me! Excuse me!
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238. We're not open.
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239. - Can I help you?
- Yes. Hi.
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240. We're looking for Ed Mulgrave.
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241. - I wanted to introduce these people to him.
- Hi there.
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242. He came to see me this morning.
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243. - Ed Mulgrave?
- Yes.
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244. But Ed Mulgrave died 15 years ago.
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245. - Yes! That's awesome!
- What?
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246. Dead for 15 years!
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247. Ed's a ghost! Knew it!
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248. I just saw him today...
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249. He's...
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250. So, who is this?
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251. That's Ed's son. Ed Junior.
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252. Okay. That's obviously who I meant. That's...
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253. Hi, Junior. If I may, when is the last time
the paranormal entity was actually seen?
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254. And if you were to rank it, let's say between
probably a T1 and T5...
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255. Garret here saw it on Tuesday,
and I believe it made him soil himself.
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256. - Jesus.
- Wow. Soiling.
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257. I'd put that at a T3.
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258. T4, if it was poop.
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259. - What?
- Unless you ate something weird.
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260. Then it wasn't the ghost.
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261. Kinda hard to suss that out
after the fact though.
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262. I didn't soil myself.
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263. He did. He called me sobbing, saying,
"Oh, my God, my pants are toast."
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264. - Okay. All right.
- I'd love to get that back to the lab.
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265. Well, so I have made the introduction.
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266. - Yeah, thank you.
- There you go.
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267. All right, well, how 'bout
you take us across the street.
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268. I got to get in there, set up.
Let's go on a tour.
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269. You're gonna die in there.
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270. Aldridge Mansion. Take one.
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271. And we are rolling.
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272. Checking the settings. We look good.
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273. What is that?
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274. Looks like one of those things
that makes cotton candy.
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275. It's a PKE meter.
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276. There's a ghost anywhere around here,
this baby's gonna find it.
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277. Does it work?
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278. Yeah, it works.
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279. I just haven't had the appropriate proximity
to an entity for it to work.
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280. Strange reading here.
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281. Ma'am, can you tell us where you got
the world's tiniest bow tie?
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282. It came with the shirt.
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283. Okay, somebody really doesn't
want us getting in that door.
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284. Can you tell us what it's like
to walk around in those shoes all day?
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285. - It's not fun.
- All right.
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286. Holtzmann, check this out.
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287. Hold your ponies.
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288. All right. Good gag.
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289. Hey, are you getting that?
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290. Very funny.
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291. Is everything a joke to you guys?
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292. Just your mama.
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293. No, actually, I think the world of your mom.
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294. You guys put all that
gooey stuff on the floor.
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295. You opened the basement door.
You tried to freak me out.
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296. We did not open the basement door...
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297. Basement door is open.
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298. - I didn't open it. Did you open it?
- I did not open it.
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299. You know what, it was probably Ed.
And the guy who didn't poop his pants.
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300. Look over there.
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301. I didn't even know it did that.
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302. - I... My ears just...
- Mine just popped, too.
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303. That is definitely...
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304. - An AP-xH shift. Yes!
- Shift.
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305. - I mean, for sure. That's...
- Guys?
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306. I don't think we're alone.
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307. Holy crap.
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308. Let me have the camera. Thank you.
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309. Okay.
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310. How can you be eating right now?
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311. You try saying no to these salty parabolas.
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312. Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
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313. Good God.
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314. Class 4 apparition.
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315. Distinct human form.
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316. This can't be happening.
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317. It's happening, all right.
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318. That's the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.
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319. I'm gonna try to talk to it.
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320. Just be careful, she could be malevolent.
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321. Yeah, just make sure you're recording it.
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322. - Yeah, I'm getting it all.
- Okay.
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323. Just be cautious.
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324. I think she wants to communicate with us.
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325. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
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326. It's okay. She seems peaceful.
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327. Hello.
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328. I think you're gorgeous.
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329. Hello. Hi.
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330. My name is Erin Gilbert,
Doctor of Particle Physics at Columbia...
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331. - Yes!
- God!
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332. She's getting away! Come on!
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333. - Hurry, hurry!
- Run!
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334. - Get it, get it!
- Where'd it go? Where'd it go?
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335. - Where'd it go? Where'd it go?
- There!
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336. What just happened?
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337. Abby, what just happened?
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338. I'll tell you what just happened.
We saw a ghost.
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339. - We saw a ghost!
- Yeah, we saw a ghost!
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340. We saw a ghost! Oh, my God!
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341. - We saw a ghost.
- We saw a ghost!
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342. Oh, my God, we saw a ghost!
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343. We were right! We weren't crazy!
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344. We saw a ghost!
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345. Ghosts are real! Ghosts are real!
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346. I believe in ghosts 'cause I just saw one!
They're real!
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347. Who is that?
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348. Dr Bronstein saw this on Reddit.
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349. It was re-blogged
from a site entitled Ghost News.
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350. Not a publication I'd heard of.
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351. I hope you understand that
when we give someone tenure...
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352. I accept your tenure.
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353. When we give someone tenure,
they represent this institution.
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354. But this is just not
what this institution is about.
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355. Dr Gibbons. Hello.
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356. Just moving offices.
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357. You know.
They found a couple cats in the wall.
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358. Really stunk in there. Glad I'm getting out.
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359. I didn't get fired.
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360. I got fired!
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361. After years,
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362. years of hard work.
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363. And ass-kissing.
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364. God, I kissed so many
different kinds of asses.
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365. Erin, we're sorry that you lost your job.
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366. But, I mean, there is
kind of a glass is half full aspect of it.
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367. I mean, we saw a real ghost.
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368. You know, and she was beautiful.
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369. Till she dislocated her jaw
and ecto-projected all over you.
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370. Yeah, that stuff went everywhere,
by the way, in every crack.
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371. But, I got to say,
even that was kind of spectacularly beautiful.
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372. I did detect a heavy ionisation discharge.
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373. I mean, I could smell it.
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374. A full-torso transmogrification
with corporeal aggression.
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375. I mean, how often does that happen?
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376. I mean, they want us to be quiet about that?
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377. We are not gonna be quiet about that.
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378. And it's not just us.
We have over 100 comments already.
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379. And they're not all crazies.
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380. Come here, I want to show you this.
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381. Read that.
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382. "Ain't no bitches gonna hunt no ghosts."
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383. No, no. Okay.
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384. The one below it.
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385. This woman is describing
a Class 3 haunting in her house.
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386. She can't just move. She can't call the police.
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387. She can't call her friends.
Who's she gonna call?
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388. Ghost Jumpers!
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389. Tonight, the Ghost Jumpers
make contact with the ghost of Bigfoot.
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390. God! These phonies!
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391. I mean, you know what?
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392. These guys are the reason you got fired.
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393. It's because of stuff like this that makes it
impossible for us to do our real work.
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394. This cannot be the best option for people.
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395. Okay, we are on the cusp of something here,
a real discovery.
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396. Unlike Columbia,
this institute is 100% behind us.
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397. Really?
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398. Erin, this is what we have dreamed about
since we were little kids.
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399. I know that if you come and join us here,
they are gonna be so pumped.
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400. We just have to go upstairs
and ask for more money.
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401. I just honestly didn't realise
your department still existed.
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402. - What?
- Come on, ghosts?
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403. I will not let the 12-year reputation
of this fine institution be besmirched by you!
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404. Come on! Suddenly this place
has a classy reputation to uphold?
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405. You're only dean now
because the last dean went to jail.
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406. Are you saying that I'm not qualified?
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407. You spell science with a "Y."
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408. And what's upsetting about that is
I don't think you know that that's wrong.
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409. This is an institution of higher learning.
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410. And if you guys want to study "ghosts,"
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411. do it somewhere else,
because I have two words for you.
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412. Let me guess, "Get out"?
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413. - No, he's gonna say "suck it."
- He's not gonna say "suck it."
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414. Suck it.
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415. - You were right.
- You know...
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416. My gosh.
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417. I think it might be a ghost.
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418. No, it's not. It's just a bird.
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419. Bye. There's the door.
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420. Later days. Can you hear this?
Let me turn it up.
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421. Oh, my God.
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422. This is incredibly immature behaviour.
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423. Caught it.
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424. Just a minor setback.
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425. You know what, guys?
I think we can really do this.
Copy !req
426. We can become the first scientists to prove
the existence of the paranormal.
Copy !req
427. All we have to do is
find an entity and capture it
Copy !req
428. and bring it into a controlled environment.
That's all!
Copy !req
429. Hey! There's the Erin I remember.
Welcome back.
Copy !req
430. - Thank you.
- Nice.
Copy !req
431. Okay, we should probably
get this equipment out of here.
Copy !req
432. - They're gonna want it back.
- I thought this stuff was yours.
Copy !req
433. - All stolen.
- No...
Copy !req
434. Hey! That worthless garbage
belongs to this school!
Copy !req
435. Scatter! Scatter! Scatter!
Copy !req
436. Go, go, go, scatter!
Copy !req
437. Hey. Good morning.
Copy !req
438. Okay.
Copy !req
439. Hey, how you doing, sir? Got a Metro...
Copy !req
440. Hey. That's a dope jacket, man.
I got that jacket.
Copy !req
441. You know what? it's a sweater.
I made a mistake.
Copy !req
442. You have a good day, all right?
Copy !req
443. Hey! How you doing, man?
Copy !req
444. They'll always ignore you.
Copy !req
445. They are walking sewage,
concerned only with their own trivial matters.
Copy !req
446. Okay.
Copy !req
447. When the Fourth Cataclysm begins,
Copy !req
448. labourers, such as yourself,
will be among the last led to the butchery.
Copy !req
449. So, make the most of your extra time.
Copy !req
450. You are just a bundle of joy, ain't ya?
Copy !req
451. You have a good day with your crazy ass.
Copy !req
452. I wonder what train he taking.
Copy !req
453. Is he going on the tracks?
Copy !req
454. Man...
Copy !req
455. You want to use the bathroom,
Copy !req
456. there's a perfectly nice bathroom
upstairs at Starbucks.
Copy !req
457. Hey, hey!
Copy !req
458. Hey, you're not supposed to be
down here, man. Only subway...
Copy !req
459. What in the sweet hell?
Copy !req
460. Exquisite.
Copy !req
461. I'm cool, dude. Yeah.
Copy !req
462. Forget this, man!
Copy !req
463. Forget this!
Copy !req
464. Aldridge Mansion? Check.
Copy !req
465. Seward Street subway station?
Copy !req
466. Check.
Copy !req
467. Well done, Rowan.
Copy !req
468. But still so many more checks to go.
Copy !req
469. You have been bullied your entire life.
Copy !req
470. Now you will be the bully.
Copy !req
471. Trust in your abilities,
Copy !req
472. and the universe shall bend before your will.
Copy !req
473. Hey, weirdo.
We got a clogged toilet in 1843. It's bad.
Copy !req
474. I mean, like, biblically bad. Get on it.
Copy !req
475. Absolutely.
Copy !req
476. Nothing would make me happier.
Copy !req
477. Whatever, freak show. Just do it.
Copy !req
478. And the universe shall bend before your will.
Copy !req
479. Charge the lines.
Copy !req
480. Create the vortex.
Copy !req
481. Break the barrier.
Copy !req
482. I found a fantastic spot for your business.
Copy !req
483. It's more of a research lab.
Copy !req
484. - What do you think?
- That's it?
Copy !req
485. Let's go see your new home.
Copy !req
486. - Oh, my God! Look at...
- Look at it!
Copy !req
487. - Look at how high!
- Look at the amazing spread!
Copy !req
488. Look at the ceiling to the floor height!
Copy !req
489. Look at this. Look at it.
Copy !req
490. It's perfect.
Copy !req
491. - We got tons of space.
- Stripper pole!
Copy !req
492. - The rent is $21,000 a month.
- Burn in hell.
Copy !req
493. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
494. I'm sorry. Wait, that's the monthly rent?
Copy !req
495. - Yeah.
- Who can afford that?
Copy !req
496. All your friend said was that
Copy !req
497. you were looking for a place
to explore the unknown.
Copy !req
498. Okay, we need to explore
something a lot cheaper.
Copy !req
499. There's an upstairs!
Copy !req
500. Are you offended by the smell
of Chinese food?
Copy !req
501. I have now moved above you,
and you still can't help me out.
Copy !req
502. How does it take you an hour
to go up one flight of stairs?
Copy !req
503. I have really bad knees.
Copy !req
504. You know what?
Copy !req
505. What is that?
Copy !req
506. It's our hot and sour shrimp soup.
Copy !req
507. That looks like dishwater and one shrimp,
and I think it's...
Copy !req
508. I hope that's a water chestnut.
Copy !req
509. We're dancing? Okay.
Copy !req
510. Let's be safe, though.
Copy !req
511. Holtz. Holtz. Holtzmann!
Copy !req
512. Fire!
Copy !req
513. Over towards the fire.
Copy !req
514. Thank you.
Copy !req
515. I hate to DeBarge in.
Copy !req
516. - She loves that.
- Is that by DeBarge?
Copy !req
517. I thought it was Devo.
Copy !req
518. Anyway, I got the website up.
Copy !req
519. I passed out a bunch of these fliers
all over town,
Copy !req
520. so I'm drumming us up a little business.
Copy !req
521. "If you see something, say something."
Copy !req
522. - it's catchy.
- It's good.
Copy !req
523. - Yeah, I'll take it.
- I think it might be the anti-terrorism slogan.
Copy !req
524. God.
Copy !req
525. - It is, isn't it?
- It is. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
526. Well, I guess now we know
why so many people are calling
Copy !req
527. about suspicious-looking bags.
Copy !req
528. Dang it.
Copy !req
529. - I love the green paper!
- Thank you.
Copy !req
530. Hey. I'm here about the receptionist job.
Copy !req
531. - Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
532. Is this a big ol' robot?
Copy !req
533. What?
Copy !req
534. The receptionist job that was in the paper.
That's what I was here about.
Copy !req
535. You're hired.
Copy !req
536. Okay, l... God, you're all sweaty.
Copy !req
537. I think I got it.
"If there's something strange in the..."
Copy !req
538. Kevin. Right?
Copy !req
539. - Kevin.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
540. Abby. We spoke on the phone.
Copy !req
541. - We did. Yeah.
- Hello there.
Copy !req
542. - Okay.
- Kevin.
Copy !req
543. That's a manly name.
Copy !req
544. My name's Erin. With an "E."
Copy !req
545. For "everything you want."
Copy !req
546. Okay. Well, we should probably...
Copy !req
547. Should probably get started.
Copy !req
548. Erin? Do you want to join us?
Copy !req
549. - Yes.
- Erin.
Copy !req
550. I've got some questions.
Copy !req
551. Okay. Here we go.
Copy !req
552. Let me just get to my notes.
Copy !req
553. Okay.
Copy !req
554. All right, first off, I just want to say...
Copy !req
555. You know, we should probably start with
a very important question
Copy !req
556. that we're asking all of the applicants.
Copy !req
557. You know, are you seeing anyone right now?
Copy !req
558. - Seeing anyone?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
559. - Just for business purposes.
- Business purposes only.
Copy !req
560. Well, I'm seeing all three of you.
Copy !req
561. In front of me.
Copy !req
562. Just forget she even asked,
because if she did, that would be illegal, so...
Copy !req
563. Forgotten.
Copy !req
564. Jillian Holtzmann, Radio Times.
Copy !req
565. What have you been doing
with your whole life?
Copy !req
566. Great question.
Copy !req
567. Well, lots of different jobs.
Copy !req
568. I did the "actor thing."
Copy !req
569. - Worked for...
- I'm just gonna... Just real quick.
Copy !req
570. Can I ask why no glass?
Copy !req
571. Yeah. They just kept getting dirty,
so I took them out.
Copy !req
572. - That's...
- Don't have to clean them any more.
Copy !req
573. - Oh, boy.
- And I can just...
Copy !req
574. - I got to try to keep that in mind.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
575. Would it be okay
if I bring Mike Hat to work sometimes?
Copy !req
576. He has major anxiety problems.
Copy !req
577. You know what? I would love
to let your cat live here with you,
Copy !req
578. but I have a pretty severe cat allergy.
Copy !req
579. No, I don't have a cat.
Copy !req
580. He's a dog. His name is Mike Hat.
Copy !req
581. Your dog's name is My Cat?
Copy !req
582. No, Mike Hat.
Copy !req
583. Your dog's name is Mike, last name Hat?
Copy !req
584. Well, his full name is Michael Hat.
Copy !req
585. I can't say that I'm allergic to dogs, so...
Copy !req
586. it's all right. He lives with my mum.
Copy !req
587. - Well, then we have that figured out.
- Okay. That was...
Copy !req
588. One down. No cat.
Copy !req
589. But you know what I say, let's jump ahead.
Copy !req
590. Kevin dabbles in web design.
Copy !req
591. And I asked him to throw together
maybe a couple of logos for us.
Copy !req
592. - You want to see them?
- Now is your moment.
Copy !req
593. Pull it out.
Copy !req
594. Sure.
Copy !req
595. You're like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Copy !req
596. Here we go.
Copy !req
597. Okay, so...
Copy !req
598. What do you think of that?
Copy !req
599. Yeah, you do see how this
might make us look bad, right?
Copy !req
600. Is it the boobs you don't like?
'Cause I can make them bigger.
Copy !req
601. No, I can see them.
Copy !req
602. Yeah, I can definitely see them.
Copy !req
603. You know what? I think
it's not always about the end result.
Copy !req
604. It's about the journey.
Copy !req
605. Well, what about this one?
Copy !req
606. I think that's already a thing.
Copy !req
607. What, 7-1-1?
Copy !req
608. It's 7-Eleven.
Copy !req
609. Yep, it is. I have another option, though.
Copy !req
610. - Okay, please.
- It's this one.
Copy !req
611. That's one of my favourites.
Copy !req
612. I think you might've made a mistake.
I don't think that one's for us.
Copy !req
613. No. No, that's for you.
Copy !req
614. You know, I just thought the floating hot dog
implies that a ghost is holding it.
Copy !req
615. Your work is more cerebral than I expected.
Copy !req
616. See some more?
Copy !req
617. - Those are great.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
618. We're actually gonna
discuss everything just for a second,
Copy !req
619. so if you could just stand over there,
Copy !req
620. - we just need to convene for a moment.
- Okay.
Copy !req
621. - Sure. All right.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
622. Just go right over there.
Copy !req
623. Don't listen.
Copy !req
624. I won't.
Copy !req
625. He covered his eyes.
Copy !req
626. Guys, look, as much as
I would like to have him here to look at...
Copy !req
627. What?
Copy !req
628. You don't find him attractive?
Copy !req
629. Kevin?
Copy !req
630. God, no. Poor guy.
Copy !req
631. - I don't know, guys. I don't know.
- Come on, Erin.
Copy !req
632. We need help around here.
Copy !req
633. We cannot keep carrying
that equipment up here.
Copy !req
634. And I know the phones aren't ringing
off the hook right now, but they will be.
Copy !req
635. You know,
an aquarium is a submarine for fish.
Copy !req
636. Listen, let's just see
how the rest of the day goes.
Copy !req
637. You know, talk to other people, and we will
hire who is most qualified, okay? Deal?
Copy !req
638. There are no other people.
He's the only applicant.
Copy !req
639. Excellent.
Copy !req
640. God, that's loud.
Copy !req
641. - It's loud.
- It's loud.
Copy !req
642. Kevin. You got the job.
Copy !req
643. - Welcome aboard.
- Cool.
Copy !req
644. Can I bring my suitcases up?
Copy !req
645. Yep, you sure can.
Copy !req
646. Look at him.
Copy !req
647. Ma'am?
Copy !req
648. Hi, ma'am. If you're waiting for takeout,
you should really wait downstairs.
Copy !req
649. This... The magazine was here,
so, I don't know,
Copy !req
650. I just thought that might be
your waiting room.
Copy !req
651. You know, fun fact about this place,
Copy !req
652. that this building is built in the same place
Copy !req
653. as the first Chinese gambling den
in New York. Did you know that?
Copy !req
654. I mean, it's, like, coincidence.
Copy !req
655. Also, I got chased by a ghost.
Copy !req
656. What?
Copy !req
657. You know, up above us
was the old New York prison.
Copy !req
658. It's the first place in New York
that they electrocuted people.
Copy !req
659. I'm telling you, it used to take so long
Copy !req
660. that they'd just be like, "Shoot him.
We using too much electricity."
Copy !req
661. That's why I knew something weird
was going on down here, man.
Copy !req
662. Did you see that?
Copy !req
663. - Yes. I saw that.
- Did you see that?
Copy !req
664. - That wasn't me.
- I saw that quite a bit.
Copy !req
665. Wait, wait. Hey! Seriously? For real?
Copy !req
666. 'Ey. Come on, man.
Copy !req
667. - Didn't I tell you?
- Is he down here all the time?
Copy !req
668. He think this is his art studio.
Copy !req
669. No, no. My studio is in SoHo.
This is more of a gallery.
Copy !req
670. Okay, hello there.
Copy !req
671. Have you seen a Class 4, semi-anchored
entity anywhere in the vicinity?
Copy !req
672. - You talking like a boat?
- Can you speak English?
Copy !req
673. - I'm being specifically clear.
- Let me. Let me.
Copy !req
674. Hi. Have you seen a ghost down here?
Copy !req
675. - Okay, that's clearer.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
676. - Yeah, I've seen a ghost.
- You, too?
Copy !req
677. Yeah.
Copy !req
678. Would you be able to describe it to us?
Copy !req
679. - Thank you.
- But...
Copy !req
680. Come on, man. Come on, man.
Copy !req
681. No, no, no, no. Let him, let him...
Copy !req
682. - I'll take a visual.
- No! I can't let him.
Copy !req
683. This is my job. I'm gonna get fired!
Copy !req
684. - We want the visual!
- No, no, this is very helpful.
Copy !req
685. This is not helpful for me.
Copy !req
686. 'Ey. Look at me. Stop.
Copy !req
687. - Stop painting.
- I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
688. I don't like this on my wall.
Copy !req
689. You don't want it here any more?
Copy !req
690. - I don't want this ghost on my wall.
- No ghost.
Copy !req
691. - Let me fix this, then.
- Well, l...
Copy !req
692. No ghosts allowed.
Copy !req
693. - You know what? You know what?
- Right?
Copy !req
694. - Get your ass up out of here.
- Come on.
Copy !req
695. Bye, Patty!
Copy !req
696. - I love you.
- Man!
Copy !req
697. This ain't art!
Copy !req
698. And y'all encouraging him.
Copy !req
699. Come on!
Copy !req
700. Am I on crack, or is that a good logo?
Copy !req
701. Guys, I cannot do it by myself.
Copy !req
702. This equipment is untested
and highly unstable.
Copy !req
703. All right, ladies, we got a limited window
for when the next train arrives,
Copy !req
704. I'm telling you.
Copy !req
705. And don't touch the third rail
Copy !req
706. unless y'all little dainty ass
can handle 750 volts.
Copy !req
707. - Come on.
- You know what?
Copy !req
708. I should've gave you some coveralls, man.
It's so unsanitary down here.
Copy !req
709. You know, you don't usually think about
the amount of urine smell.
Copy !req
710. That's pretty much how it's gonna be.
It's not gonna freshen up at all.
Copy !req
711. Oh, boy. Okay.
Copy !req
712. Definitely got something over here.
Look at... Is that...
Copy !req
713. What is that, a burn?
Copy !req
714. That's where I saw that weird sparking thing.
Copy !req
715. What was it?
Copy !req
716. Baby, if I knew what it was,
I wouldn't say "a weird sparking thing."
Copy !req
717. it looks like fission scorch.
Copy !req
718. What? Fission scorch down here?
Copy !req
719. Except that you're right.
Copy !req
720. What is... Wait, I'm smelling
both electrical discharge
Copy !req
721. - and isotopic decay.
- Isotopic decay.
Copy !req
722. How is that... Holtzmann?
Copy !req
723. - Yeah. What?
- Come here. I need your snoot on this.
Copy !req
724. Am I nuts?
Copy !req
725. 'Ey, 'ey, ladies.
Copy !req
726. While y'all over there making out
with that dirty piece of garbage,
Copy !req
727. we only got a couple of minutes.
Copy !req
728. Do you see that?
Copy !req
729. - The eyes.
- All right, Holtzmann.
Copy !req
730. - Now is not the time to be messing with...
- No.
Copy !req
731. Cream and sugar.
Copy !req
732. Hey, Patty, can I get some
illumination on this subject?
Copy !req
733. Yeah, I can put some light on that.
Copy !req
734. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
735. That is more and more unsettling.
Copy !req
736. That's the dude I saw!
I'm telling you, that's him!
Copy !req
737. We got another Class 4,
Copy !req
738. and this one's even more ionised
than the one at the Aldridge Mansion.
Copy !req
739. Where are these ghosts coming from?
Copy !req
740. You know what?
I got to get this thing on film.
Copy !req
741. - Holtzmann?
- Yup.
Copy !req
742. - Power us up.
- Okay.
Copy !req
743. 'Cause we are taking this pretty boy
back to the lab.
Copy !req
744. This is a little rough.
It's in its early stages. Got to be honest.
Copy !req
745. Just gonna plug these things in here.
Copy !req
746. - Okay, Erin, come here.
- Let me document this.
Copy !req
747. - Grab it, grab it.
- Wait.
Copy !req
748. That's gonna shoot a proton stream
at that ghost, okay?
Copy !req
749. So whenever I say, "Go," you just do that.
Copy !req
750. Why am I operating
the untested nuclear laser?
Copy !req
751. You have the longest arms.
Copy !req
752. You guys might want to hurry up.
Copy !req
753. Oh, my God. I forgot the most important part.
Copy !req
754. Yeah. Sorry.
Copy !req
755. Erin, this is just a little bit of grounding
so you don't die immediately.
Copy !req
756. Do you know your iron level?
Copy !req
757. It's fine.
Copy !req
758. You have done this before, right?
Copy !req
759. Okay, Erin, on my cue.
Copy !req
760. Aim the barrel at him.
Copy !req
761. Ready, aim, fire!
Copy !req
762. Okay, this is a little underwhelming.
Can we get more power?
Copy !req
763. And once again, fire!
Copy !req
764. This isn't working!
Copy !req
765. Can this beam get any stronger?
Copy !req
766. Well, not at the moment.
Copy !req
767. That's the train! We got to move!
Copy !req
768. Just try to lure him back to the platform!
Copy !req
769. Grab her!
Copy !req
770. - Come on!
- Move, move, move!
Copy !req
771. Come on, move!
Copy !req
772. - Hurry!
- That's the express train!
Copy !req
773. And it's not stopping!
Copy !req
774. It's coming! Get her up!
Copy !req
775. Not the collar!
Copy !req
776. Well, I guess he going to Queens.
Copy !req
777. He's gonna be the third scariest thing
on that train.
Copy !req
778. God, did you see that?
Copy !req
779. You can't see anything.
Copy !req
780. My God! I mean,
that power surge really held him.
Copy !req
781. We need more juice.
Copy !req
782. We need to be more mobile.
I know what to do.
Copy !req
783. - Yes.
- I almost got killed.
Copy !req
784. Yeah, I know. It was so awesome.
Copy !req
785. It was awesome.
Copy !req
786. Everyone thinks this video is fake.
Look at these comments.
Copy !req
787. We have to bring a ghost back to this lab
and document it, you guys.
Copy !req
788. I mean, this stuff is real.
We have to be able to prove it.
Copy !req
789. We will. And you shouldn't
be reading this stuff.
Copy !req
790. You're not supposed to listen
to what crazy people write
Copy !req
791. in the middle of the night online.
Copy !req
792. Look at...
"Bogus equipment"? You know what?
Copy !req
793. I'd love you to meet me any place, any time.
Copy !req
794. No, no, no, let's... You're right. We should...
Copy !req
795. - Here is your coffee, Abby.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
796. Did you get sugar in it this time?
Copy !req
797. I hate coffee.
Copy !req
798. - Yeah, the sugar's in there.
- Sugar's in it.
Copy !req
799. I'll take it.
Copy !req
800. Don't want to waste a cup of coffee.
Copy !req
801. Can we just pretend
that didn't happen, please?
Copy !req
802. All right, well, what do you think?
Copy !req
803. I... You know what? I just can't watch that.
Copy !req
804. I'm not sure.
I mean, it's just a lot of bits and pieces.
Copy !req
805. I'm pretty sure none of it is
supposed to be in the subway, though.
Copy !req
806. It's like it was part of a miniature cyclotron.
Copy !req
807. And they used a chromium alloy for the hull.
Copy !req
808. I would've used aluminium, but I'm crazy.
Copy !req
809. What's that weird thing that guy said
to the lady from the subway?
Copy !req
810. I know what you're talking about.
Copy !req
811. Fourth Cataclysm. Yeah.
Copy !req
812. - Hi.
- Fourth Cataclysm.
Copy !req
813. That sound like a franchise
nobody ever wanted.
Copy !req
814. Yeah, you guys, you have a visitor.
Copy !req
815. She's here to see you in the booth.
Copy !req
816. Booth number one. With the earrings.
Copy !req
817. - Yeah.
- Yeah. We see her now.
Copy !req
818. - Thanks.
- No worries.
Copy !req
819. I'm joining the club.
Copy !req
820. Well, it's not really a... I'm sorry.
Copy !req
821. Kevin. Hi, can you answer the phone, please?
Copy !req
822. - I can't. It's in the fish tank.
- No.
Copy !req
823. The one on the desk that's ringing. That one.
Copy !req
824. - That one.
- Yep.
Copy !req
825. - Oh, my God.
- What's this place called again?
Copy !req
826. Conductors of
the Metaphysical Examination. Talk.
Copy !req
827. Got it. Conductors of Metamucils and Stuff.
Copy !req
828. Slow down. L... What...
Copy !req
829. They hung up?
Copy !req
830. No, I was just not into that conversation.
Copy !req
831. Kevin, I'm really gonna need you
to try a little harder. Okay, buddy?
Copy !req
832. Well, if they call back, I will.
I got to take off, though.
Copy !req
833. I'm in a hide-and-seek tournament,
and we are in the semis.
Copy !req
834. Kevin, I'm gonna need you
to pick up all those suitcases.
Copy !req
835. Did you hurt your face?
Copy !req
836. Hey, did y'all hire that big dumb dude?
Copy !req
837. Bye!
Copy !req
838. Man, I got a cousin Mookie.
Copy !req
839. He is half as stupid,
and he will work for Vienna sausages.
Copy !req
840. The thing is, this isn't really a club.
It's a scientific research group.
Copy !req
841. And I understand that,
but let me tell you something.
Copy !req
842. I read a lot of nonfiction,
Copy !req
843. and you guys know
a lot about this science stuff,
Copy !req
844. but I know New York.
Copy !req
845. And check this out!
Copy !req
846. I can borrow a car from my uncle,
Copy !req
847. and y'all won't have to lug
all this heavy equipment around.
Copy !req
848. - Guys, we got to get a car.
- Come on, baby.
Copy !req
849. You need me. You need Patty.
Patty come with benefits. You need me.
Copy !req
850. Stop playing like you don't.
Copy !req
851. You're in.
Copy !req
852. Yeah.
Copy !req
853. You get a car,
and you get a car, and you get a car!
Copy !req
854. You didn't disclose
that the vehicle was gonna be a hearse.
Copy !req
855. I'm sorry. My uncle owns a funeral home,
not a Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
Copy !req
856. Hope you checked to see
there wasn't a body in the back.
Copy !req
857. I don't think so. I don't really know.
Copy !req
858. You didn't check?
Copy !req
859. I mean, I was in a hurry.
Copy !req
860. I checked to see if we had gas.
That was more important.
Copy !req
861. So there is a body?
Copy !req
862. Let Holtzmann check.
She likes that type of stuff.
Copy !req
863. Yeah, I can think of seven good uses
of a cadaver today.
Copy !req
864. No, Dr Frankenstein,
Copy !req
865. we got to turn in the body
if there's one in there.
Copy !req
866. - All right.
- Don't do that.
Copy !req
867. Based on the results
of the subway field test...
Copy !req
868. The one where you were
almost killed, remember?
Copy !req
869. I remember.
Copy !req
870. I added a booster using microfabricated
radio-frequency quadrupoles
Copy !req
871. to speed up particles
before entering the DLA device,
Copy !req
872. portable, wearable for maximum flexibility.
Copy !req
873. Then we add the reversible
psychokinetic energy sync
Copy !req
874. plus Holtzy's hollow beam to this baby,
and voilà.
Copy !req
875. We got a ghost in there.
Copy !req
876. - Slap me.
- Okay.
Copy !req
877. I will slap you as...
Copy !req
878. I just want to say
what an exciting moment this is.
Copy !req
879. Holtzmann, I am beyond impressed.
Copy !req
880. Abby, is that comfortable?
Copy !req
881. It's a lot heavier than I expected,
Copy !req
882. and I'm pretty sure
it's compacting my spinal column, but...
Copy !req
883. - So you're gonna want to plant your feet firm.
- Okay.
Copy !req
884. Bend your knees
to compensate for the extra kickback.
Copy !req
885. All right. Turning the machine on.
Copy !req
886. Boy, she's got an impressive purr.
Copy !req
887. All right, so that's the target right there.
Copy !req
888. Just put your thumb
on that red trigger button there.
Copy !req
889. - Yeah.
- And go to town.
Copy !req
890. Okay.
Copy !req
891. And here we go!
Copy !req
892. I guess she's not
bending her knees enough, right?
Copy !req
893. She's doing a marvellous impression
of a deflating balloon.
Copy !req
894. We just got to let her ride it out
until she's out of juice.
Copy !req
895. She's corkscrewing me!
Copy !req
896. Abby, I'll make some adjustments.
Copy !req
897. It's like fighting a gator!
Copy !req
898. So, how did the two of you guys meet?
Copy !req
899. Abby transferred
to my high school, junior year.
Copy !req
900. Go, Karate Cats.
Copy !req
901. We started telling ghost stories,
and we just kind of bonded right away.
Copy !req
902. And all the other kids were, you know,
getting drunk and going to parties,
Copy !req
903. and we're like, "That's stupid."
Copy !req
904. Plus, we were never invited to the parties.
Copy !req
905. No, I think that's because we told
very, very scary ghost stories,
Copy !req
906. and I think the other kids were terrified of us.
Copy !req
907. That's what was actually happening.
Copy !req
908. So, how did y'all get into ghosts?
Did one of you see one?
Copy !req
909. Yeah, I did.
Copy !req
910. Really?
Copy !req
911. When I was eight years old,
the mean old lady that lived next door died.
Copy !req
912. And that night, I woke up
Copy !req
913. and she was standing at the foot of my bed,
Copy !req
914. just staring at me.
Copy !req
915. She did that every night for almost a year.
Copy !req
916. What?
Copy !req
917. And I told my parents,
and they didn't believe me.
Copy !req
918. Still don't believe me.
Copy !req
919. I had to go to therapy for years,
Copy !req
920. and the kids at school found out,
Copy !req
921. and they would laugh at me
and make fun of me,
Copy !req
922. call me "ghost girl."
Copy !req
923. Abby was the only person who believed me.
Copy !req
924. Kids is mean, man. But I believe you.
Copy !req
925. Thanks.
Copy !req
926. - I have some questions.
- Seriously?
Copy !req
927. It was a long time ago.
Copy !req
928. Hello.
Copy !req
929. Looking forward to this metal show.
Copy !req
930. Hi.
Copy !req
931. Ozzy rocks!
Copy !req
932. Yeah!
Copy !req
933. Yes.
Copy !req
934. He certainly does rock.
Copy !req
935. This world cannot be cleansed fast enough.
Copy !req
936. Hi.
Copy !req
937. Enjoy the show.
Copy !req
938. Rock and roll.
Copy !req
939. A local team of paranormal investigators
released a video of a proclaimed ghost.
Copy !req
940. You can see clearly there's something
in the picture that isn't easily explained.
Copy !req
941. Oh, my God! They're showing the video!
We famous! We famous.
Copy !req
942. As a result, there are
a lot of questions being asked now
Copy !req
943. about the people who shot the video.
Copy !req
944. So, what do we think of these Ghostbusters?
Are they to be taken seriously? And...
Copy !req
945. "Ghostbusters"? That is not our name.
Copy !req
946. They can't just make up a name
and just call us...
Copy !req
947. I spoke with Martin Heiss earlier.
Copy !req
948. - He's with the Council for Logic and Data.
- Okay.
Copy !req
949. - Martin Heiss. Okay, okay.
- Okay.
Copy !req
950. He is a famed debunker of the paranormal.
Copy !req
951. Dr Heiss, you're a highly regarded
scientific authority.
Copy !req
952. - Your credentials are impeccable.
- Thank you, Pat.
Copy !req
953. If you see something
of true scientific interest in this video,
Copy !req
954. that goes a long way to legitimise these
Ghostbusters and everything they stand for.
Copy !req
955. A game changer, yes.
Copy !req
956. So, tell me, Dr Heiss, is this for real?
Copy !req
957. Hell no.
Copy !req
958. So, now we're the ghost girls.
Copy !req
959. I feel your pain, Erin.
Copy !req
960. No. You know what? Screw that.
Copy !req
961. We are scientists.
Copy !req
962. - Plus Patty.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
963. Okay, we believe in provable,
physical results.
Copy !req
964. - That's what we believe in.
- Yes, we do!
Copy !req
965. - Preach.
- I will preach.
Copy !req
966. You know what we're gonna do, ladies?
Copy !req
967. We're gonna catch a ghost,
we're gonna bring...
Copy !req
968. God.
Copy !req
969. We're gonna catch a ghost,
bring it back to the lab...
Copy !req
970. - Kevin?
- Yes, boss?
Copy !req
971. Can you answer the phone
that's ringing, please?
Copy !req
972. - Buddy.
- Yes, I can, boss.
Copy !req
973. Ghostbusters.
Copy !req
974. - "Conductors of the Metaphysical..."
- Okay.
Copy !req
975. Cool. See ya.
Copy !req
976. Hey, guys, which one of these
makes me look more like a doctor?
Copy !req
977. Me playing saxophone
or me listening to saxophone?
Copy !req
978. Who was on the phone?
Copy !req
979. The Stonebrook Theatre.
Copy !req
980. There's a goat on the loose.
Copy !req
981. I'm gonna load up the car.
Copy !req
982. Okay, okay, okay!
Copy !req
983. Yo, yo, I got something for us, too!
Copy !req
984. Hey, hey, hey, you guys,
I got these from work.
Copy !req
985. I'm making it official, man.
Copy !req
986. You put one of these on,
you won't get slimed again.
Copy !req
987. That's great.
Copy !req
988. Hey!
Copy !req
989. Look at this beauty!
Copy !req
990. Wait a minute, what did you do
to my uncle's hearse?
Copy !req
991. I fixed it.
Copy !req
992. Man, this is so inappropriate for this vehicle.
Copy !req
993. We have fun.
Copy !req
994. - Let's go.
- Let's go...
Copy !req
995. - Did you want to...
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
996. - I'll let you. I'll let you.
- Next time.
Copy !req
997. Are you the Ghostbusters?
Copy !req
998. Actually, we're
the Conductors of the Metaphysical...
Copy !req
999. We're... Yes. We're the Ghostbusters.
Copy !req
1000. "There's a chicken frying itself in the library."
Copy !req
1001. - That is strange.
- That is not what he said.
Copy !req
1002. Please, follow me.
Copy !req
1003. Right away. Please, all of you.
Copy !req
1004. Fernando was down here when
something crawled out of a wall vent, and...
Copy !req
1005. I heard him screaming, so I went to check,
Copy !req
1006. and that's when the "thing" was
tossing Fernando all around the room.
Copy !req
1007. I thought it was gonna kill him.
I shrieked when I saw it. l...
Copy !req
1008. I guess I scared it, because I'm told
that I have a very disturbing scream.
Copy !req
1009. I could see that.
Copy !req
1010. Anyway, if you could just mosey around,
you'll probably bump into it.
Copy !req
1011. 'Kay, girls?
Copy !req
1012. All right. Well, we know
it's down here somewhere.
Copy !req
1013. Let's split up, and if you see anything,
get on the walkie.
Copy !req
1014. Roger.
Copy !req
1015. Holtzmann! Come on!
Copy !req
1016. The hat is too much, right?
Copy !req
1017. Is it the wig or the hat?
Copy !req
1018. Come on.
Copy !req
1019. Guys, I think I got
another one of those devices.
Copy !req
1020. I just thought this was gonna be
like a book club.
Copy !req
1021. Play some Stevie Nicks albums, you know?
Copy !req
1022. 'Cause I'm telling you right now,
if I see two twins from The Shining,
Copy !req
1023. I'm gonna pass out.
Copy !req
1024. Okay, yep.
Copy !req
1025. Room full of nightmares. Not going in there.
Copy !req
1026. I don't understand
how I get wrapped up in this stuff.
Copy !req
1027. I had a good job at the MTA.
Copy !req
1028. Was it perfect?
No, of course it wasn't perfect.
Copy !req
1029. But I tell you what, everybody was alive.
Copy !req
1030. Was that there before?
Copy !req
1031. Please do not answer.
Copy !req
1032. I said, don't answer!
Copy !req
1033. Okay...
Copy !req
1034. Hi.
Copy !req
1035. It's a full paranormal transferal embodiment.
Copy !req
1036. Erin, all of our theories
on spectral possession are true.
Copy !req
1037. There's a ghost in that thing, and I want it.
Copy !req
1038. Let's light 'em up!
Copy !req
1039. Run! We're gonna lose it! Come on!
Copy !req
1040. - I love your fire!
- Man.
Copy !req
1041. Upstairs! Go, go, go! Come on!
Copy !req
1042. Why fear what's around you?
Copy !req
1043. It could be everything you dreamed
And it's about to be true
Copy !req
1044. Yeah
Copy !req
1045. Come with the one who wants to
drag you away from the shore
Copy !req
1046. 'Cause you're looking for more
Copy !req
1047. You want some more
Copy !req
1048. That's not mine!
Copy !req
1049. I think those machines
are making them stronger!
Copy !req
1050. That thing is super ionised!
Copy !req
1051. And super not-benign!
Copy !req
1052. This music is so terrible,
it's making him more angry.
Copy !req
1053. Play something gentle!
Copy !req
1054. Behold the power of the undead!
Copy !req
1055. We have summoned Satan himself!
Copy !req
1056. For we are the kings of all...
Copy !req
1057. - Let's do this!
- Go, go.
Copy !req
1058. This auditorium is Art Deco, you idiots!
Copy !req
1059. Aim for the ghost!
Copy !req
1060. Hey, Patty, you take that aisle.
I'll take the far one.
Copy !req
1061. Okay, I need y'all to get out the way!
We need to get up those aisles!
Copy !req
1062. All right, move, people!
I need to get down that aisle!
Copy !req
1063. If you're not gonna move,
you're gonna become part of this operation!
Copy !req
1064. All right, heads up!
Copy !req
1065. Come on! Move me left!
Copy !req
1066. Watch the rings. Watch the rings.
Copy !req
1067. Okay, you sweaty freaks.
Copy !req
1068. I'm 'bout to save you from this ghost!
Copy !req
1069. Okay, so I don't know if it was a race thing
or a lady thing, but I'm mad as hell.
Copy !req
1070. - Pick me up!
- All right, put me down!
Copy !req
1071. Put me down! Down, down, thank you.
Copy !req
1072. Okay, Patty, stay still!
Copy !req
1073. - You have sort of a...
- Okay, I just...
Copy !req
1074. I don't need you to tell me
anything right now.
Copy !req
1075. - No, no, no... You got a...
- Nope.
Copy !req
1076. I really need you not to tell me
anything right now.
Copy !req
1077. - But, Patty, there...
- Hey. I'm tired.
Copy !req
1078. - No, no, no...
- Listen...
Copy !req
1079. I'm just gonna go ahead and take off,
how about that?
Copy !req
1080. No, no, no,
I don't really think that's a good idea.
Copy !req
1081. - Going to take off...
- Come on, Patty. Patty!
Copy !req
1082. And I don't want to piss off the ghost.
Copy !req
1083. Moving, going back to my booth at the MTA,
Copy !req
1084. so let me know if you need some MetroCards.
Copy !req
1085. - Do it, do it, do it.
- 'Cause I am...
Copy !req
1086. - Really?
- All right, ladies, light 'em up!
Copy !req
1087. Patty, stay still.
Copy !req
1088. Just don't hit Patty anywhere important.
Copy !req
1089. - What?
- Nothing!
Copy !req
1090. You gonna get it now!
Copy !req
1091. Holtz, open that trap!
Copy !req
1092. Okay.
Copy !req
1093. And I'm gonna open it on three.
Copy !req
1094. - Holtzmann!
- Ready?
Copy !req
1095. - Sweetie!
- Two...
Copy !req
1096. - Open the box!
- And one. Okay!
Copy !req
1097. Erin, doing great. Abby, doing great.
Copy !req
1098. Patty, try a little harder, okay?
Copy !req
1099. Get in the box, you hellion!
Copy !req
1100. Come on, we got you!
Copy !req
1101. Come on.
Copy !req
1102. Excuse me, gotta get...
Excuse me, excuse me.
Copy !req
1103. I got a ghost to get. Thank you.
Copy !req
1104. Did we just catch a ghost?
Copy !req
1105. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
1106. We put a ghost in a box!
Copy !req
1107. You want some more, you want some more?
Copy !req
1108. Yes!
Copy !req
1109. What you're looking for
You want some more...
Copy !req
1110. Right in there!
Copy !req
1111. We are the Beasts of Mayhem!
Copy !req
1112. Sorry, can't buy you another one.
Copy !req
1113. Yeah!
Copy !req
1114. Sharon! I think I'm having another flashback!
Copy !req
1115. Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Copy !req
1116. - My gosh.
- Thanks so much.
Copy !req
1117. Why are there ghosts in New York?
Copy !req
1118. We made magic today,
and that's all I got to say. I'm Holtzmann.
Copy !req
1119. Where are these ghosts coming from?
Copy !req
1120. Are there any more ghosts
inside the theatre?
Copy !req
1121. I think we took it out.
Copy !req
1122. Listen, we're scientists.
Copy !req
1123. We're here for the unanswerable questions
and, really, to pursue truth.
Copy !req
1124. We're the Ghostbusters!
Copy !req
1125. Yeah!
Copy !req
1126. Nope. I had him yesterday.
Copy !req
1127. So?
Copy !req
1128. So, it's your turn.
Copy !req
1129. Weirdo city.
Copy !req
1130. Charge the lines.
Copy !req
1131. Create the vortex.
Copy !req
1132. Break the barrier.
Copy !req
1133. Enjoy your fun, Ghostbusters.
Copy !req
1134. For soon, you shall bow down before me.
Copy !req
1135. There he is.
Copy !req
1136. Come on, Kevin. Let's go.
Copy !req
1137. Kev.
Copy !req
1138. Go, Kev.
Copy !req
1139. Go, Kev. Go, Kev.
Copy !req
1140. Go, Kev.
Copy !req
1141. Stop, Kev.
Copy !req
1142. - Watch it!
- Stop, Kev.
Copy !req
1143. - Watch it.
- Stop it, Kevin.
Copy !req
1144. Please.
Copy !req
1145. Get it. Get it.
Copy !req
1146. This is so good. We have to celebrate.
Copy !req
1147. - Come on! This is what...
- You're right, you're right.
Copy !req
1148. - Yep.
- ... legit feels like.
Copy !req
1149. - Right here. This.
- Yep.
Copy !req
1150. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1151. You have to stop kissing this.
Copy !req
1152. That... It just makes me feel
so warm and tingly inside.
Copy !req
1153. That's probably the radiation.
Copy !req
1154. Hey, guys, I got some pretty cool stuff
cooking up over here,
Copy !req
1155. if you want to just turn your head.
Copy !req
1156. I got some newly printed circuit boards,
and I rebuilt the superconducting magnets.
Copy !req
1157. I improved beam accuracy
Copy !req
1158. by adding a plasma shield
to the RF discharge chamber.
Copy !req
1159. I have cryocooler to reduce helium boil-off,
Copy !req
1160. and to top it all off,
we got a freakin' Faraday cage
Copy !req
1161. to attenuate RF noise and avoid quenching.
Copy !req
1162. - Nice!
- All right!
Copy !req
1163. There's a Smartin Christ here to see you.
Copy !req
1164. Smartin Christ?
Copy !req
1165. Wait, are you saying "Martin Heiss"?
Copy !req
1166. - Doctor...
- No. No.
Copy !req
1167. Dr Martin Heiss, the famed scientist
and paranormal debunker?
Copy !req
1168. - He's in this building right now?
- Yeah, that guy.
Copy !req
1169. Okay, you tell him that we're not here.
Copy !req
1170. - Wait, what? What?
- I don't want to talk to him.
Copy !req
1171. They're not here.
Copy !req
1172. Dr Heiss, hello. Welcome. Dr Erin Gilbert.
Copy !req
1173. Is this a good time, Doctor,
or is this dinner rush?
Copy !req
1174. Why don't you call
and make an appointment?
Copy !req
1175. It's actually a perfect time.
Copy !req
1176. We were just
doing some experiments over here.
Copy !req
1177. Yes, please, have a seat.
Copy !req
1178. Let's start light and easy.
Copy !req
1179. Why are you pretending to catch ghosts?
Copy !req
1180. You know, it's really easy
to just sit there and be the naysayer,
Copy !req
1181. when you don't actually do anything.
Copy !req
1182. You know that we only comprehend
about 4% of the universe.
Copy !req
1183. 4%!
Copy !req
1184. - Across the board! it's four!
- Abby, Abby...
Copy !req
1185. We all believe in the scientific method.
Copy !req
1186. I've dedicated my life to it.
Copy !req
1187. And we have actually done it.
Copy !req
1188. Today, at 4:32 p.m.,
Copy !req
1189. we successfully trapped a Class 3 vapour.
Copy !req
1190. You're telling me
Copy !req
1191. there is a ghost
Copy !req
1192. inside that thermos?
Copy !req
1193. - In that can?
- Don't touch it. Don't touch it.
Copy !req
1194. Booyah. Emphasis on the "boo."
Copy !req
1195. Well, I would love to see that. I really would.
Copy !req
1196. Shoot. You know what?
You're not gonna get that treat today.
Copy !req
1197. We're still assessing what type
of containment method we're gonna use.
Copy !req
1198. We're testing the lab... In the...
Copy !req
1199. So, till we figure out
how to best keep the entity,
Copy !req
1200. that's not gonna happen.
Copy !req
1201. How's that for my timing?
Copy !req
1202. I come.
Copy !req
1203. You've caught a ghost. I can't see it.
Copy !req
1204. Look, I know it probably
sounds like we're making this up.
Copy !req
1205. - Yeah.
- It sounds crazy,
Copy !req
1206. and we probably don't really look like
legitimate scientists.
Copy !req
1207. No, you only lack the proper equipment,
Copy !req
1208. like a garbage truck
to hang on to the back of.
Copy !req
1209. Said the guy with
the walking stick and the floppy hat.
Copy !req
1210. It was my mother's.
Copy !req
1211. Yeah, that is an awesome hat.
Copy !req
1212. All right, man. Thanks for stopping by.
Copy !req
1213. Well, I guess the graciousness has run out.
Copy !req
1214. You want to see it?
Copy !req
1215. I would love to see it.
Copy !req
1216. Well, he can't see it.
Copy !req
1217. I'm going to show it to you, then.
How about that?
Copy !req
1218. - Gear up, you guys.
- No, you're not. Don't.
Copy !req
1219. Excuse me. Why are you doing this?
Copy !req
1220. Because he doesn't believe us.
Copy !req
1221. Erin. Come on, we have finally succeeded
Copy !req
1222. at doing the thing that we have talked about
since we were little kids.
Copy !req
1223. And you want to risk it all, what, for him?
Copy !req
1224. Who cares if you impress him?
Copy !req
1225. Golly, you two are something.
Copy !req
1226. You're right. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1227. - I don't...
- Okay.
Copy !req
1228. - I don't know what I was thinking.
- All right.
Copy !req
1229. It's okay.
Copy !req
1230. Attagirl!
Copy !req
1231. Sorry. I did it. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1232. - My God!
- I know!
Copy !req
1233. Casper?
Copy !req
1234. Man!
Copy !req
1235. Hey, that man went out the wrong door.
Copy !req
1236. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1237. Who threw him out the window?
Copy !req
1238. A ghost threw him out the window.
Copy !req
1239. You mean like Patrick Swayze?
Copy !req
1240. Like, he's sitting behind you,
making some pottery?
Copy !req
1241. Yeah. Like Patrick Swayze.
Copy !req
1242. That's it. Then we were all dancing
at a summer camp in the Catskills.
Copy !req
1243. And then we sat down,
and he was behind me,
Copy !req
1244. and we made a vase.
Copy !req
1245. You're combining the two...
Copy !req
1246. - I combined a couple of Swayze movies.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1247. You know what was a good one?
Road House.
Copy !req
1248. I loved Road House.
Copy !req
1249. - Point Break.
- He was a...
Copy !req
1250. Point Break.
Copy !req
1251. Come on. At the end with the big wave?
Copy !req
1252. He was a ghost in that, too!
Copy !req
1253. Well, you don't know if he dies at the end.
Copy !req
1254. He doesn't die.
He doesn't die. They don't say he dies.
Copy !req
1255. Well, now what?
Copy !req
1256. - Who are you guys?
- Official business.
Copy !req
1257. We'll take it from here. Thank you.
Copy !req
1258. - What?
- You need to come with us.
Copy !req
1259. - What?
- Why?
Copy !req
1260. The mayor needs a word, ladies.
Copy !req
1261. Mayor.
Copy !req
1262. Hey! There you are.
Copy !req
1263. Welcome. Sorry for the mess
and for the drama.
Copy !req
1264. Please, come sit down. Take that one.
Copy !req
1265. Good. That's right.
And, you, that's a good one for you.
Copy !req
1266. And take the end seat. Good.
Copy !req
1267. That's not so good.
Copy !req
1268. No feet on the table, please.
Copy !req
1269. Sir, we don't have a lot of time.
Copy !req
1270. - And we're not frauds.
- No.
Copy !req
1271. - We are legitimate scientists.
- Let me interrupt you.
Copy !req
1272. We know you're not frauds,
Copy !req
1273. because we have been monitoring
this situation quite closely.
Copy !req
1274. Agents Hawkins and Rorke
are with Homeland Security.
Copy !req
1275. So we've been investigating
this extremely quietly.
Copy !req
1276. - Okay.
- So, what do you know?
Copy !req
1277. We believe that someone is creating a device
Copy !req
1278. that attracts and amplifies
paranormal activity.
Copy !req
1279. And that activity can be escalating now
Copy !req
1280. and giving us an even larger scale event.
Copy !req
1281. "Larger scale." Well, that sounds terrible.
Copy !req
1282. Okay, well,
you've been doing great work. Well done.
Copy !req
1283. We really appreciate it,
but it's time to knock it off.
Copy !req
1284. - What?
- Knock it off.
Copy !req
1285. No, I heard you and I see the hand gesture.
What does...
Copy !req
1286. These gentlemen are on it.
Let the government do their work.
Copy !req
1287. We're just worried that you all
are drawing a lot of attention...
Copy !req
1288. - Exactly.
- ... to yourselves.
Copy !req
1289. What?
Copy !req
1290. - Patty does wear big earrings.
- Patty.
Copy !req
1291. Well, if it's a crime to look good,
guilty as charged.
Copy !req
1292. Other than that, I feel like
we keep a very low profile.
Copy !req
1293. You drive a hearse with a ghost on it,
Copy !req
1294. and you use a distinctly
un-American-sounding siren.
Copy !req
1295. We do.
Copy !req
1296. Do you have any idea
how many federal regulations
Copy !req
1297. you're breaking on a daily basis?
Copy !req
1298. - One?
- No.
Copy !req
1299. - Two?
- No.
Copy !req
1300. Is it one?
Copy !req
1301. Just sit quietly.
Copy !req
1302. Here's the essence of the deal.
Copy !req
1303. We are gonna have to
make the public believe
Copy !req
1304. that you are frauds.
Copy !req
1305. - What? Wait. Why?
- What?
Copy !req
1306. The human brain, you know,
it can only handle so much.
Copy !req
1307. If everybody knew what was going on,
you know, there'd be a panic.
Copy !req
1308. So, we need to get the information out there
that the incident at the concert was a hoax.
Copy !req
1309. 'Cause, otherwise, there'd be mass hysteria.
Copy !req
1310. We don't want mass hysteria either.
Copy !req
1311. Our main concern is that
we're allowed to continue our work.
Copy !req
1312. - Yes, that is very important.
- Very important.
Copy !req
1313. But my concern is, I feel like the cat is sort of
already kind of out of the bag.
Copy !req
1314. I think what they're saying is
the cat is out of the bag.
Copy !req
1315. They want us to put the cat
back inside the bag.
Copy !req
1316. No, I know that's what they're saying.
Copy !req
1317. - But I'm saying the cat's already out.
- I know. I know it's out.
Copy !req
1318. - So it's hard to put the cat back in.
- It's not impossible.
Copy !req
1319. - But that's why they have that saying.
- It's a nonsense saying.
Copy !req
1320. If the cat is outta the bag,
you can't put it back in!
Copy !req
1321. I put a cat in a bag all the time.
Copy !req
1322. But once the cat is out of the bag,
Copy !req
1323. aren't you like, "The cat is out of the bag!"
Copy !req
1324. We just want to
shove that damn cat back in the bag.
Copy !req
1325. The cat has been out of the bag before,
Copy !req
1326. and yet, people lose interest
and put it back in.
Copy !req
1327. People always move on.
Copy !req
1328. Sheriff in New Mexico
reports a UFO encounter.
Copy !req
1329. The crew of the SS Ourang Medan
dies mysteriously.
Copy !req
1330. The entire town of Langville, Montana,
goes missing.
Copy !req
1331. It does?
Copy !req
1332. Okay, but he...
Copy !req
1333. We're talking about relocating.
Copy !req
1334. No one's being killed here, right?
Copy !req
1335. They were turned inside out.
Copy !req
1336. Their skin is on the inside of their body?
Copy !req
1337. Their skin is on the inside of their body
because their organs are on the outside.
Copy !req
1338. But they're okay, right?
Copy !req
1339. Sure.
Copy !req
1340. I think they're dead.
Copy !req
1341. On that horrifying note,
thank you all so much for coming.
Copy !req
1342. Now, the mayor said we could
continue our work, and so we shall.
Copy !req
1343. We got to be prepared.
Copy !req
1344. That's why I've made a table of treats.
Copy !req
1345. Erin, you've had a hard day. Step right up.
Copy !req
1346. Pick a gun, any gun.
Copy !req
1347. No!
Copy !req
1348. I'm sorry, not that gun.
Copy !req
1349. That one's not ready. It's yours when it is.
Copy !req
1350. Here, in the meantime...
Copy !req
1351. This.
Copy !req
1352. What does it do?
Copy !req
1353. It's a Swiss Army knife.
Copy !req
1354. No woman should walk around unarmed.
Copy !req
1355. I know what it does.
Copy !req
1356. - Also, here, why don't you take this.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1357. Give that a toss.
Copy !req
1358. That's gonna send up a little poof.
Copy !req
1359. It's only dangerous to ghosts.
Copy !req
1360. - All right.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1361. Nice!
Copy !req
1362. Yeah, my mistake. It was a medium poof.
Copy !req
1363. This puppy I like to call a Ghost Chipper.
Copy !req
1364. Hollow-laser technology,
sucks in the ghost and neutralises it.
Copy !req
1365. Step up to bat and do what you're gonna do.
Copy !req
1366. You truly scare me.
I just want to let you know that.
Copy !req
1367. I'm gonna just...
Copy !req
1368. Come on!
Copy !req
1369. It's like Mardi Gras in there.
Copy !req
1370. It's a proton glove.
Copy !req
1371. It's gonna maximise flexibility
during hand-to-spectre combat.
Copy !req
1372. Just give it a punch, it's motion-activated.
Copy !req
1373. Okay. That
Copy !req
1374. was awesome!
Copy !req
1375. - No, that is a deadly high five.
- No.
Copy !req
1376. - No.
- Hey, ladies,
Copy !req
1377. I'd call this a successful test.
Copy !req
1378. It's fraudulent and unsafe, frankly.
Copy !req
1379. You know, these Ghostbusters
are creating an unnecessary panic
Copy !req
1380. - in a sad grab for fame.
- It's fine.
Copy !req
1381. People can rest assured
that these women are fake.
Copy !req
1382. Well, it's official. We're all ghost girls now.
Copy !req
1383. All right, I would like
to remind everybody here
Copy !req
1384. that in a very short amount of time,
Copy !req
1385. we have seen
multiple Class 4 malevolent apparitions.
Copy !req
1386. - Yeah.
- We did.
Copy !req
1387. Who cares what anybody else
is saying about us?
Copy !req
1388. We know what we're doing.
Copy !req
1389. I mean, all morning,
I've been reading about this stuff.
Copy !req
1390. There's sightings all over the city.
Copy !req
1391. "Wailing spirit sighted at 6th and 26th."
Copy !req
1392. Another one,
"Spectral polar bear on 63rd and 5th."
Copy !req
1393. Then there was that weeping wall
in the thrift store at Chelsea.
Copy !req
1394. - Wait. Did you say 6th and 26th?
- Yeah. "Wailing spirits, 6th and 26th."
Copy !req
1395. 6th and 26th. 6th and 26th. Okay.
Copy !req
1396. 6th and 26th.
Copy !req
1397. Aldridge Mansion. Upper West Side. Yes?
70... 72nd.
Copy !req
1398. Where did we find the first device?
Copy !req
1399. - At the subway, right here.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1400. Theatre. Downtown. Downtown.
Copy !req
1401. - Downtown?
- Yes, yes. In here.
Copy !req
1402. Okay, what was the other address you said?
Copy !req
1403. Polar bear on 63rd and 5th Avenue.
Copy !req
1404. And the one in Chelsea?
Copy !req
1405. - Chelsea is at 10th Avenue and 18th.
- 18th. 10th and 18th.
Copy !req
1406. What do those look like to you?
Copy !req
1407. It's an "X." Touching other little "X's."
Copy !req
1408. - Ley lines.
- Ley lines.
Copy !req
1409. What's "ley lines"?
Copy !req
1410. It's a hidden network of energy lines
that run across the Earth.
Copy !req
1411. It's a current of supernatural energy.
Copy !req
1412. Supposedly, if you look at sacred sites
and weird events all over the world,
Copy !req
1413. and connect them with lines
where they intersect,
Copy !req
1414. it's an unusually powerful spot.
Copy !req
1415. Abby and I just dismissed this theory
Copy !req
1416. because it just seemed
too random to have any merit.
Copy !req
1417. Dismiss this.
Copy !req
1418. Okay. That looks like it's got some merit.
Copy !req
1419. He's using the devices
to charge the ley lines.
Copy !req
1420. - He's creating a vortex.
- A vortex.
Copy !req
1421. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1422. Okay, if he gets one of his machines in there
and it's big enough,
Copy !req
1423. he's gonna be able
to rip a hole right through that barrier.
Copy !req
1424. Letting whatever's on this plane
Copy !req
1425. come crashing down on this plane.
Copy !req
1426. Okay, I'm calling this in.
Copy !req
1427. Okay, that intersection right there
between 7th and 8th.
Copy !req
1428. What is there now?
Copy !req
1429. The Mercado.
Mercado. It's Spanish for "table."
Copy !req
1430. The Mercado? That actually makes sense.
Copy !req
1431. Okay, yes, I'm looking for
Agents Hawkins and Rorke.
Copy !req
1432. The Mercado has one of
the weirdest histories
Copy !req
1433. of the buildings in New York.
Copy !req
1434. Okay, so it's your standard-issue
haunted building.
Copy !req
1435. No. This is even before it was a building.
Copy !req
1436. All sorts of massacres happened at that spot.
Copy !req
1437. Like the peaceful trade between
the Lenape Indians and Captain Warren.
Copy !req
1438. Then, all of a sudden, everybody dies.
Copy !req
1439. Oh, my God, you guys.
This is the dude that was at the subway
Copy !req
1440. that was talking about the cataclysms!
This is him!
Copy !req
1441. It's always the sad, pale ones.
Copy !req
1442. Okay, ladies, let's gear up
and hit that Mercado.
Copy !req
1443. Who's in the mood to save New York City?
Copy !req
1444. And did you try adjusting the thermostat
before placing this call?
Copy !req
1445. Well, I'm terribly sorry
that you have a draught in your room.
Copy !req
1446. Why don't you hold while I connect you
to someone who might care.
Copy !req
1447. - Hi. Excuse me.
- Hold on.
Copy !req
1448. - What do you want?
- Where's your janitor?
Copy !req
1449. That nut-job! What has he done...
Copy !req
1450. I don't want to know.
Copy !req
1451. Just take the stairs down and get him out.
Copy !req
1452. Hey, stop right there!
Copy !req
1453. Shut it down!
Copy !req
1454. The Ghostbusters.
Copy !req
1455. Look, I think it's great
you found yourself a little hobby,
Copy !req
1456. and I'm sure, on paper,
flooding New York City with ghosts
Copy !req
1457. seemed like a great idea,
Copy !req
1458. but we happen to like the world the way it is.
Copy !req
1459. Then you must've been afforded the basic
dignity and respect of a human being,
Copy !req
1460. which I have been denied.
Copy !req
1461. Not really.
Copy !req
1462. People dump on us pretty much all the time.
Copy !req
1463. I am a genius.
I see things that no one else does.
Copy !req
1464. And for it, I am rewarded
with nothing but scorn and mockery.
Copy !req
1465. Luckily, I am not
the only one seeking revenge.
Copy !req
1466. Behind these are millions of souls,
Copy !req
1467. souls which have been cast aside.
Copy !req
1468. Souls who see the world
as it truly is, as garbage.
Copy !req
1469. Garbage that needs to be cleaned up.
Copy !req
1470. When these barriers are destroyed,
Copy !req
1471. an army of the undead
will return to pester the living.
Copy !req
1472. "Pester the living" doesn't sound so bad.
Copy !req
1473. They will return to pester the living
with unspeakable pain and torment.
Copy !req
1474. That's a different definition of "pester"
than what I was thinking.
Copy !req
1475. I think the word we're looking for
is apocalypse. Apocalypse.
Copy !req
1476. Well, let's get these barriers destroyed,
shall we?
Copy !req
1477. Wait, wait, wait! Rowan.
Copy !req
1478. I get it. You don't like people.
People can be terrible.
Copy !req
1479. The thing is, though,
there's so many terrific things out there.
Copy !req
1480. I mean, wonderful things
that are worth living for.
Copy !req
1481. I mean, you got soup,
Copy !req
1482. and, you know, that first... You know when...
Copy !req
1483. God. I can only think of soup.
Anybody? Somebody? Patty?
Copy !req
1484. - Salad.
- Salad.
Copy !req
1485. No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!
Copy !req
1486. Okay, stop what you're doing.
Copy !req
1487. The police are already on their way.
Copy !req
1488. It's over. You're going to jail, Rowan.
Copy !req
1489. Well, in that case,
Copy !req
1490. bye.
Copy !req
1491. That's a weird move.
Copy !req
1492. He dead. That's a dead man.
Copy !req
1493. See if you can shut that thing down.
Copy !req
1494. - Come on!
- Holtz?
Copy !req
1495. Holtz, are we good?
Copy !req
1496. Well, he's not, but, yeah, we're okay.
Copy !req
1497. Okay. Well, that's over.
Copy !req
1498. Okay, we're down here! Down here!
Copy !req
1499. You hate to see the smart ones go bad.
Copy !req
1500. Man, it smells like burned bologna
and regrets down here.
Copy !req
1501. Like, the dude that worked here,
Copy !req
1502. he, like, dressed, like,
in a Captain Kirk-type outfit.
Copy !req
1503. - What's up?
- He was, like, standing over here...
Copy !req
1504. I don't know. It's strange.
Copy !req
1505. You know, his technology's
not that different from ours.
Copy !req
1506. It's basically, like, we're
both using the same science.
Copy !req
1507. - That is strange.
- I think I know why.
Copy !req
1508. Look what Mr Cuckoo Pants
has been reading at the beach. No.
Copy !req
1509. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1510. I told you that there would be
people out there that loved our work.
Copy !req
1511. Why am I so flattered that
that weird little sociopath bought our book?
Copy !req
1512. Thank you for everything you did.
You saved us all.
Copy !req
1513. The mayor thanks you, of course.
Copy !req
1514. Privately, so don't tell anyone.
Copy !req
1515. Can I walk you out?
Copy !req
1516. Well, why don't you all go get some rest?
Copy !req
1517. These gentlemen here
will get you out of here. Okay?
Copy !req
1518. - Thank you. That's very nice.
- All right.
Copy !req
1519. - Thanks for all you've done, ladies.
- Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1520. I just have to say a couple things
to the press. You know how that goes.
Copy !req
1521. So we just are gonna fake-arrest you now.
Copy !req
1522. And we towed your car.
Real-tow, not fake-tow.
Copy !req
1523. - Ms Lynch!
- What's that?
Copy !req
1524. - Ms Lynch!
- What? Wait, why?
Copy !req
1525. - Excuse me!
- Stop resisting.
Copy !req
1526. I'm not. I'm walking with you.
Copy !req
1527. - Is New York in trouble?
- Everything is fine.
Copy !req
1528. It was just another publicity stunt
by these incredibly sad and lonely women.
Copy !req
1529. It's like they read Eat, Pray, Love
and just ran with it.
Copy !req
1530. Did you guys lose your keys?
Copy !req
1531. What did I tell you? Pin it to your bra strap.
That's where mine is, and it...
Copy !req
1532. Who's out there?
Holtzmann, I swear to God, l...
Copy !req
1533. Hello, Abby.
Copy !req
1534. Ghostbusters. What do you want?
Copy !req
1535. Hello? Guys, it's me.
Are you there? Please pick up if you're there.
Copy !req
1536. Call me as soon as you get this.
Copy !req
1537. I think when Rowan killed himself,
it was just the next step in his plan.
Copy !req
1538. The mayor's itinerary has been set.
Copy !req
1539. Mayor Bradley is meeting with the diplomats
at Lotus Leaf this very moment.
Copy !req
1540. Lotus Leaf.
Copy !req
1541. Abby! We got you a sandwich
so you don't be picking off of ours, man.
Copy !req
1542. You need some food.
Your moods have been real bad, yo.
Copy !req
1543. Come on now.
Copy !req
1544. Abby? You in there?
Copy !req
1545. Everything okay?
Copy !req
1546. Abby, come and get your sandwich
Copy !req
1547. Come and get your sandwich, please
Copy !req
1548. You want your little sandwich?
Copy !req
1549. Abby...
Copy !req
1550. Hello, Jillian.
Copy !req
1551. Hello, Abby.
Copy !req
1552. Are you okay?
Copy !req
1553. I'm quite well.
Copy !req
1554. That's good.
Copy !req
1555. You found my pipe.
Copy !req
1556. I got it at the dumpster yesterday.
Copy !req
1557. I'm gonna use it to make a proton shotgun.
Copy !req
1558. Pretty cool, right?
Copy !req
1559. If it doesn't work,
we can just swing it around and break stuff,
Copy !req
1560. so it's kind of a win-win.
Copy !req
1561. - What?
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
1562. Not my babies!
Copy !req
1563. Hey!
Copy !req
1564. - Wait a minute!
- No!
Copy !req
1565. Man, are y'all playing?
Copy !req
1566. 'Cause this ain't funny, man. Yo! For real!
Copy !req
1567. See, Abby, I told you
to have that sandwich, man.
Copy !req
1568. Low blood sugar is serious!
Copy !req
1569. - Hello, Patricia.
- What?
Copy !req
1570. Abby!
Copy !req
1571. What the...
Copy !req
1572. Look at the view.
Copy !req
1573. This is fun, right?
Copy !req
1574. Good-bye.
Copy !req
1575. I got you, baby! I got you!
Copy !req
1576. - Oh, my God, help me.
- Hi, Patty.
Copy !req
1577. Hell no! The Devil is a liar!
Copy !req
1578. Hellion, begone!
Copy !req
1579. Shit.
Copy !req
1580. No!
Copy !req
1581. Holtzy! Got you, Holtzy!
Copy !req
1582. No!
Copy !req
1583. Get out of my friend, ghost!
Copy !req
1584. That's gonna leave a mark!
Copy !req
1585. The power of Patty compels you!
Copy !req
1586. Is that you, Abby?
Copy !req
1587. Where did he go?
Copy !req
1588. Hey, guys, check it out!
Copy !req
1589. Hey, listen.
Copy !req
1590. I figured you're gonna need my help,
so I borrowed all this stuff.
Copy !req
1591. If you could just chuck me down
my own proton pack, that'd be great.
Copy !req
1592. - Kevin, come inside!
- Kevin.
Copy !req
1593. - Come inside.
- I'm part of the team.
Copy !req
1594. I can help out. I'm not gonna get in your way.
Copy !req
1595. - Come on, move!
- Move!
Copy !req
1596. I was born to be a Ghostbuster, all right?
Copy !req
1597. Nothing's gonna stop me!
Copy !req
1598. - Man.
- Kevin!
Copy !req
1599. Come on, Rowan, get out of him!
Copy !req
1600. Thanks for the upgrade.
Copy !req
1601. Rowan, ya big bully!
Copy !req
1602. Hope this guy knows
how to ride a motorcycle.
Copy !req
1603. Rowan, not Kevin!
Copy !req
1604. Yeah, he does.
Copy !req
1605. That's so not good.
Copy !req
1606. No, no. It's just a magic trick.
He didn't actually cut her in half.
Copy !req
1607. - No, no. I was there. She was cut in half.
- There's two women.
Copy !req
1608. - Yeah, I saw it.
- It's just a trick.
Copy !req
1609. Mayor Bradley, it's me!
Copy !req
1610. - Oh, boy. Code Red.
- Come here!
Copy !req
1611. - I have something in my teeth?
- No, no, that's Code Green.
Copy !req
1612. It's me! it's Erin.
Copy !req
1613. She thinks that's a sliding door.
Copy !req
1614. It's Erin. Hi!
Copy !req
1615. She thinks they're all doors. That's sad.
Copy !req
1616. She's a scientist.
Copy !req
1617. Mayor Bradley.
Copy !req
1618. You have to evacuate the city!
Copy !req
1619. Never say that word.
Copy !req
1620. You have to shut down the power
to the whole city!
Copy !req
1621. Don't you understand? He's using
the power to energise them!
Copy !req
1622. You know what, as you can see,
the mayor is very busy.
Copy !req
1623. No.
Copy !req
1624. It's happening.
Copy !req
1625. Can you hear it?
Copy !req
1626. It's...
Copy !req
1627. Okay, that's a dumpster.
Copy !req
1628. But the undead are still arriving.
Copy !req
1629. Please, Mayor Bradley,
you have to believe me.
Copy !req
1630. You're the only one
that can do something. Don't...
Copy !req
1631. Please don't be like the mayor in Jaws.
Copy !req
1632. Never compare me to the Jaws mayor. Never!
Copy !req
1633. Please, you have to get everyone out.
Copy !req
1634. You're endangering everyone in the city!
Copy !req
1635. That took way too long.
Copy !req
1636. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1637. My... Get off of me!
Copy !req
1638. Mayor Bradley, you have to listen to me!
Copy !req
1639. Get out of the city! Get out of the city!
Copy !req
1640. They're coming!
Copy !req
1641. Don't you understand?
These ghosts kill people!
Copy !req
1642. 50 cents a T-shirt.
Copy !req
1643. My plan is to wear a new one every day,
Copy !req
1644. and then just throw 'em out
and then start over every month, yeah.
Copy !req
1645. Hey. Man, nobody ordered
a Clark Kent strippergram.
Copy !req
1646. Clark Kent?
Copy !req
1647. Because of the glasses
and the handsomeness?
Copy !req
1648. I should have worked out more
when I was alive.
Copy !req
1649. I definitely should have worked out more.
Copy !req
1650. You have to get out of the city!
Copy !req
1651. Please! Get out!
Copy !req
1652. No.
Copy !req
1653. It's happening.
Copy !req
1654. - Let's do this.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1655. Taxi! Taxi!
Copy !req
1656. - Where you going?
- Chinatown.
Copy !req
1657. Nah. That's, like,
one more block south than I want to go.
Copy !req
1658. Sir, those are actual ghosts flying around!
Copy !req
1659. They're Class 5 floating vapours.
Nothing to worry about.
Copy !req
1660. No, no, no, it's important.
Don't you see what's happening?
Copy !req
1661. Look, I don't go to Chinatown,
Copy !req
1662. I don't drive wackos,
and I ain't afraid of no ghosts.
Copy !req
1663. What? No, no, no, wait!
Copy !req
1664. God, I got to get my gear.
Copy !req
1665. Seem to have hit an impasse.
Copy !req
1666. Yeah, I'd say so.
Copy !req
1667. All right, let's clear a path.
Copy !req
1668. You guys, this looks like my kitchen.
Copy !req
1669. What the hell is that thing?
Copy !req
1670. - Hey, hey!
- Wait!
Copy !req
1671. Really?
Copy !req
1672. Did you leave the keys in the car?
Copy !req
1673. My uncle is gonna be pissed.
Copy !req
1674. - Okay, light him up!
- No, don't shoot.
Copy !req
1675. The equipment on top of that
is basically a nuclear reactor.
Copy !req
1676. - What?
- Okay, I vote we don't shoot at that.
Copy !req
1677. Well, we just gave a ghost a nuke.
Copy !req
1678. We should probably run.
Copy !req
1679. Yep.
Copy !req
1680. Go! Go! Moving out!
Copy !req
1681. Yo, was Thanksgiving
like Halloween back in the 1920s?
Copy !req
1682. 'Cause that's a creepy-ass Macy's Parade.
Copy !req
1683. I don't know. I've always kind of been
attracted to husky men in hats.
Copy !req
1684. I just made eye contact.
Copy !req
1685. - With the balloon?
- Yeah, straight down the barrel.
Copy !req
1686. - Damn.
- I think we may look like chew toys to him.
Copy !req
1687. All right, let's pop some balloons!
Copy !req
1688. Lord, have mercy.
Copy !req
1689. This is just wrong!
Copy !req
1690. I can't move my hand.
Copy !req
1691. I can't reach the trigger.
Copy !req
1692. You guys, this is exactly
how I pictured my death.
Copy !req
1693. Come on.
Copy !req
1694. Proton guns are all well and good,
Copy !req
1695. but sometimes you need the Swiss Army.
Copy !req
1696. Welcome back!
Copy !req
1697. - Am I shouting?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1698. I think the balloon popped my ear!
Copy !req
1699. All right, let's go save this city
and get our terrible receptionist back.
Copy !req
1700. We're not gonna find another one that pretty.
Copy !req
1701. Who's the flying beefcake?
Copy !req
1702. Hello.
Copy !req
1703. Women. Always late.
Copy !req
1704. Probably couldn't decide
which dirty jumpsuit to wear.
Copy !req
1705. Let's give 'em a proper New York welcome,
shall we?
Copy !req
1706. Welcome to the glory days of New York City.
Copy !req
1707. Have fun!
Copy !req
1708. Never been good in a fight.
Copy !req
1709. Well, good news.
Copy !req
1710. Here's your chance to work on that.
Copy !req
1711. Guys, you all have your sidearms.
Copy !req
1712. I suggest you use them.
Copy !req
1713. Okay, power up.
Copy !req
1714. Holtzy, get down! Get down!
Copy !req
1715. Slap shot!
Copy !req
1716. Gotcha.
Copy !req
1717. This isn't very Puritan behaviour!
Copy !req
1718. D'oh. Nuts!
Copy !req
1719. I'm getting the hang of this!
Copy !req
1720. Shoot.
Copy !req
1721. I lost my glasses!
Copy !req
1722. Wait, wait, I got 'em! They're in my hand!
Copy !req
1723. A little help!
Copy !req
1724. Impressive.
Copy !req
1725. Holtzy! I got you!
Copy !req
1726. It's chipping time now, ghost.
Copy !req
1727. And this is what you get for sitting on me!
Copy !req
1728. Missed me!
Copy !req
1729. Thanks, Patty.
Copy !req
1730. Not you guys again!
Copy !req
1731. Say hello to my little...
Copy !req
1732. What the hell?
Copy !req
1733. Forgot about my new toys.
Copy !req
1734. Let's go.
Copy !req
1735. You just got Holtzmanned, baby!
Copy !req
1736. You know what?
Copy !req
1737. I'm glad I didn't know
any of you when you were alive,
Copy !req
1738. 'cause I don't enjoy any of you,
especially you.
Copy !req
1739. Okay. All right, Abby, let's reel it in tighter.
Copy !req
1740. - I don't like you either!
- We got to save our energy.
Copy !req
1741. Come on, let's go.
Copy !req
1742. Oh, my God, you killed a Pilgrim.
Copy !req
1743. It appears I did.
Copy !req
1744. - This is weird.
- It sure is.
Copy !req
1745. Hey, why y'all like this?
Copy !req
1746. Something's up, man.
Copy !req
1747. Yeah, great work, fellas.
Copy !req
1748. Your country thanks you.
Copy !req
1749. Well, that thing's having the time of its life.
Copy !req
1750. Let's go.
Copy !req
1751. God.
Copy !req
1752. It feels like the slime is after me, personally.
Copy !req
1753. That's all I'm saying.
Copy !req
1754. This might be a crazy hunch,
Copy !req
1755. but I think he's got that machine
up and running again.
Copy !req
1756. Come on.
Copy !req
1757. Damn, I missed.
Copy !req
1758. Kevin!
Copy !req
1759. Is that what this thing's name is?
Copy !req
1760. He seemed more like a Chet to me.
Copy !req
1761. I must admit I am enjoying the body.
Copy !req
1762. First time in my life I don't have to suck it in.
Copy !req
1763. I know you're getting real comfy
in your Kevin skin suit,
Copy !req
1764. but it's time you hop out.
Copy !req
1765. We like him,
despite his many, many frustrating quirks.
Copy !req
1766. - He just started figuring out the phones!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1767. I don't know.
Copy !req
1768. Is this a little too Peter Pan?
Copy !req
1769. Anyway, I'll embrace it.
Copy !req
1770. You know, to be honest with you,
Copy !req
1771. this guy's making me feel
stupider by the second.
Copy !req
1772. He's all yours.
Copy !req
1773. - No!
- No, no, no!
Copy !req
1774. Don't let Rowan get away!
Copy !req
1775. I got his ass! Here I am.
Copy !req
1776. Nobody hurts Kevin, man!
Nobody hurts Kevin!
Copy !req
1777. Come out, come out wherever you are
Copy !req
1778. Over here.
Copy !req
1779. Those guns come with instructions?
Copy !req
1780. Come on, Rowan! Come get your virginity
out of the lost-and-found!
Copy !req
1781. - You shoot like girls.
- 12 o'clock!
Copy !req
1782. I think you broke it.
Copy !req
1783. Look what you made me do!
Copy !req
1784. It's ridiculous. Let's get Kevin.
Copy !req
1785. I knew he was dumb as a box of rocks.
Copy !req
1786. I didn't know he's as heavy as one.
What's he made out of?
Copy !req
1787. Pure muscle. And baby-soft skin.
Copy !req
1788. Come on, Rowan, show yourself!
Copy !req
1789. What form would you prefer I take?
Copy !req
1790. Maybe something stationary.
Like a bull's-eye.
Copy !req
1791. Well, I'll tell you what I prefer.
Copy !req
1792. I prefer something nice and cute,
like a friendly little ghost.
Copy !req
1793. Is this what you want?
Copy !req
1794. Something more familiar?
Copy !req
1795. Ice cream.
Copy !req
1796. Well, you know what,
I don't have no problem with that.
Copy !req
1797. Thank you very much for being reasonable.
Copy !req
1798. If this is what you want, it works for me.
Copy !req
1799. God, he's really going for it.
Copy !req
1800. Man, I said cute. Cute!
Copy !req
1801. God.
Copy !req
1802. No. No, no, no.
Copy !req
1803. No.
Copy !req
1804. Okay, this is not good.
Copy !req
1805. Run! Run!
Copy !req
1806. Come on!
Copy !req
1807. Erin!
Copy !req
1808. Okay. Homeboy is pretty much
not keeping up with what we agreed upon.
Copy !req
1809. What part of "small and friendly"
did he not understand?
Copy !req
1810. This is bad.
Copy !req
1811. We need to reverse the portal.
It's gonna take an insane amount of energy.
Copy !req
1812. Yo, what about that nuclear thing
on top of the car?
Copy !req
1813. If we can get those reactors
super-critical inside the vortex,
Copy !req
1814. the beta radiation could 180 the polarity.
Copy !req
1815. Causing a total protonic reversal.
Copy !req
1816. It's gonna turn that portal
into a giant ghost trap.
Copy !req
1817. You are a genius, Patty.
Copy !req
1818. I'm a Ghostbuster.
Copy !req
1819. All right, let's narrow his path.
Copy !req
1820. Aim for the silver canisters.
Copy !req
1821. It's working!
Copy !req
1822. He's too strong.
Copy !req
1823. We can't let the portal close
with him still here.
Copy !req
1824. All right, ladies.
Copy !req
1825. Let's loosen his grip.
Copy !req
1826. Yo, that's where
you wanted us to shoot, right?
Copy !req
1827. Yes.
Copy !req
1828. Look out!
Copy !req
1829. Abby!
Copy !req
1830. The portal's closing!
Copy !req
1831. - Abby, hang on! I'm coming!
- What is she doing?
Copy !req
1832. Hang on, Abby!
Copy !req
1833. Abby!
Copy !req
1834. Erin.
Copy !req
1835. I wasn't gonna leave you twice.
Copy !req
1836. Yeah.
Copy !req
1837. Hold on!
Copy !req
1838. - Oh, my God.
- We got to get 'em out of there.
Copy !req
1839. We got to get 'em out of there!
Copy !req
1840. Shut up!
Copy !req
1841. Yeah!
Copy !req
1842. Hell yeah!
Copy !req
1843. Yeah! Yeah!
Copy !req
1844. Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1845. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1846. Yeah! Yeah!
Copy !req
1847. - What's "whoa"?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1848. No!
Copy !req
1849. My...
Copy !req
1850. My gosh.
Copy !req
1851. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1852. My gosh!
Copy !req
1853. What year is it?
Copy !req
1854. - It's 2040.
- What?
Copy !req
1855. - Our president is a plant.
- Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1856. I'm kidding. You were gone two seconds.
Copy !req
1857. - We did it?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1858. - Yeah, you did it.
- Yep.
Copy !req
1859. - We all did it.
- We all did it.
Copy !req
1860. - We all did it.
- That's right.
Copy !req
1861. - We all did it.
- Well...
Copy !req
1862. What did you do, Kevin?
Copy !req
1863. I did a lot, actually.
Copy !req
1864. I'll have you know that
I walked over to the power box,
Copy !req
1865. pushed a bunch of buttons.
Copy !req
1866. Everything got sucked into the portal,
then it closed up.
Copy !req
1867. - Kev.
- That's...
Copy !req
1868. Sweet, sweet Kev. The two are unrelated.
Copy !req
1869. More important question.
When did you have time to get a sandwich?
Copy !req
1870. When I was looking for you guys,
I looked in that deli over there.
Copy !req
1871. When we were risking our lives,
trying to save New York City,
Copy !req
1872. you stopped in to get a sandwich?
Copy !req
1873. Quit splitting hairs, okay?
Copy !req
1874. Potatoes, tomatoes. It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1875. Point is, the Ghostbusters...
Copy !req
1876. Are back together again, okay?
Copy !req
1877. And that's what friends are for.
Copy !req
1878. - Just glad you okay, man.
- Kevin!
Copy !req
1879. Yes. Hold my hand longer.
Copy !req
1880. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
1881. I love the hair, by the way.
Makes you look a lot older.
Copy !req
1882. You know what?
Copy !req
1883. A little help, please?
Copy !req
1884. No.
Copy !req
1885. In the aftermath of the events,
Copy !req
1886. authorities are still trying to understand
Copy !req
1887. what happened in Times Square
and throughout the city.
Copy !req
1888. I saw Pilgrims. Ghost Pilgrims.
Copy !req
1889. So you're honestly gonna stand here
and tell me that we didn't all see ghosts,
Copy !req
1890. that what actually happened
Copy !req
1891. was that terrorists drugged all of the water
with hallucinogens.
Copy !req
1892. Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
1893. Wait, what?
Copy !req
1894. - Baba Booey!
- l... l...
Copy !req
1895. with the government trying to claim
the event wasn't supernatural,
Copy !req
1896. despite so many eyewitness accounts
to the contrary.
Copy !req
1897. The big question is,
Copy !req
1898. was it the four women
who refer to themselves as Ghostbusters
Copy !req
1899. who actually thwarted the attack?
Copy !req
1900. We may never know.
Copy !req
1901. Well, now I know how Batman feels.
Copy !req
1902. You know what?
You don't have to keep fiddling with it.
Copy !req
1903. I think it looks nice. Right?
Copy !req
1904. I'd talk to you at an AA meeting.
Copy !req
1905. It's my fault, anyway.
Copy !req
1906. The box said the colour was called Garfield.
Copy !req
1907. It wasn't even the cat. It was the president.
Copy !req
1908. Well.
Copy !req
1909. You know what? I want to make a toast.
Copy !req
1910. - Here we go.
- Here we go.
Copy !req
1911. Physics is the study of
the movement of bodies in space,
Copy !req
1912. and it can unlock the mysteries
of the universe.
Copy !req
1913. But it cannot answer the essential question
of what is our purpose here.
Copy !req
1914. And, to me, the purpose of life is to love.
Copy !req
1915. And to love is what you have shown me.
Copy !req
1916. I didn't think that I would
ever really have a friend until I met Abby,
Copy !req
1917. and then I feel like I have a family of my own.
Copy !req
1918. And I love you. Thank you.
Copy !req
1919. Thank you.
Copy !req
1920. I mean, that was like a real thing right there.
Copy !req
1921. - Yeah, that was...
- That was, like, so real.
Copy !req
1922. I'm so sorry I'm late.
Copy !req
1923. We want to thank you for your discretion.
Copy !req
1924. It's not working at all, but thank you.
Copy !req
1925. Actually, we'd like you to continue
to study this subject,
Copy !req
1926. fully funded.
Copy !req
1927. You know, we need to be better prepared,
just in case.
Copy !req
1928. - Yeah. Yes, that's smart.
- Yes.
Copy !req
1929. Whatever you need, going forward.
Copy !req
1930. Anything at all.
Copy !req
1931. Anything?
Copy !req
1932. Anything.
Copy !req
1933. Hell yeah!
Copy !req
1934. Second floor is mine.
Copy !req
1935. You can't claim a whole floor.
Copy !req
1936. - I just did.
- You can't...
Copy !req
1937. You can't do that, Holtzy!
Copy !req
1938. Not bad, ghost girl.
Copy !req
1939. Thank you, and I proudly take that title.
Copy !req
1940. - Is that...
- Patty's uncle.
Copy !req
1941. Unc!
Copy !req
1942. Where is it?
Copy !req
1943. What are you talking about?
I told you what happened.
Copy !req
1944. Where's the car?
Copy !req
1945. - It's on the other side.
- In Jersey?
Copy !req
1946. No, in the portal.
Copy !req
1947. You know what? We should probably
let them just work this out.
Copy !req
1948. - Excuse me.
- Patty,
Copy !req
1949. I got four funerals this weekend.
Copy !req
1950. I can't do them with just one hearse.
Copy !req
1951. Maybe you could do two at a time.
Copy !req
1952. We're not stacking 'em like flapjacks!
Copy !req
1953. - Here you go.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1954. I know what you did.
Copy !req
1955. What?
Copy !req
1956. Bennie, don't get weird on me, okay?
Copy !req
1957. What is...
Copy !req
1958. Yeah!
Copy !req
1959. I'm just looking for a reasonable ratio
of wontons to broth.
Copy !req
1960. This is absolute madness.
Copy !req
1961. Ghostbusters. Please give
a detailed description of your apparition.
Copy !req
1962. Well, that sounds like
Copy !req
1963. an illusional meta-physious, spectro-mian.
Copy !req
1964. I'm talking like you guys.
Copy !req
1965. - Way to go, Kev.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1966. Well, that sounds very scary.
Copy !req
1967. It's probably 'cause you got
a lot of bad karma from your previous life.
Copy !req
1968. I hate coffee.
Copy !req
1969. I'm just gonna disconnect his phone.
Copy !req
1970. - He won't notice.
- No.
Copy !req
1971. How's it going over here?
Copy !req
1972. Good. Really good.
Copy !req
1973. I'm working on some kind of next-level stuff.
Copy !req
1974. Case in point.
Copy !req
1975. What is this for?
Copy !req
1976. It catches ghosts
and it transports them somewhere else.
Copy !req
1977. I don't know where,
Copy !req
1978. but I have a feeling it's Michigan.
Copy !req
1979. Hey, how's this containment unit?
Copy !req
1980. You got that up and going?
Copy !req
1981. That? That's going real smooth.
Copy !req
1982. I just would say don't be in a room with it
for more than an hour at a time,
Copy !req
1983. because I'm thinking a lot of hair loss.
Copy !req
1984. Well, that might be
something we want to work on.
Copy !req
1985. Hi. Hello. Sorry, I didn't know
anyone else was here.
Copy !req
1986. What a ding-a-ling. I forgot to introduce.
Copy !req
1987. This is my mentor, Dr Rebecca Gorin.
Copy !req
1988. This is reckless, Jillian.
Copy !req
1989. All someone has to do is sneeze too hard
Copy !req
1990. and everyone in this building
is going to disintegrate.
Copy !req
1991. It's completely unstable.
Copy !req
1992. Do we need this safety light?
Copy !req
1993. Safety lights are for dudes.
Copy !req
1994. I hate doing that.
Copy !req
1995. Hey, y'all need to come check this out.
Come up to the roof.
Copy !req
1996. Is that for us?
Copy !req
1997. I guess some people
actually do know what we did.
Copy !req
1998. Well, that's not terrible.
Copy !req
1999. No, it's not.
Copy !req
2000. It's not terrible at all.
Copy !req
2001. I call it the nutcracker.
Copy !req
2002. 'Cause it crushes the ghost.
Copy !req
2003. No, it's for walnuts.
Copy !req
2004. Smart.
Copy !req
2005. What is it? Did you get something?
Copy !req
2006. Yeah. I heard something really weird.
Copy !req
2007. What's "Zuul"?
Copy !req