1. Buenos dias, Cecelio!Copy !req
2. Sir, I'm just saying, your ad says,
"Bad credit, no problem."Copy !req
3. So can you define "no problem"?Copy !req
4. Because me not getting this loan
is a problem.Copy !req
5. I'm sorry. That's why I'm asking you to...Copy !req
6. - Sorry, Daddy.
- That's okay, but that's just nasty.Copy !req
7. No, no, no. Not you, sir.Copy !req
8. Listen to this. What if I have everything
I need except the $30,000?Copy !req
9. Keep calm? Sir. Sir. Can you...?Copy !req
10. Ma'am. Okay. I couldn't tell.Copy !req
11. Aren't you supposed to be a predatory lender?
Then prey on me!Copy !req
12. Okay? You're a lion, I'm a gazelle.Copy !req
13. Okay, fine. Fine. Do you know what?
I'm putting my daughter on the phone.Copy !req
14. Explain to her why she has to go to
school in a gangbanger school district...Copy !req
15. where they're murdering kids. Murdering!Copy !req
16. Here, you tell her.Copy !req
17. Hey, baby, do what I showed you.Copy !req
18. - Why do you want me to get murdered?
- No.Copy !req
19. "Murdered.
Why do you want me to get murdered?"Copy !req
20. They hung up.Copy !req
21. Because you're
not doing what I told you to.Copy !req
22. - You are sick.
- I'm not sick. It's called desperate.Copy !req
23. Baby, all we have to do is keep saving.Copy !req
24. I just need some love.
Can you just hug me?Copy !req
25. Just kiss me?Copy !req
26. - Any better?
- Awkward.Copy !req
27. Come on.
Get your juice, and your book bag.Copy !req
28. I told you to hit the bull's-eye.Copy !req
29. How hard is it to cry, Makayla?Copy !req
30. "Murder. Murder."Copy !req
31. - Watch out.
- Move, old man.Copy !req
32. Is that weed?Copy !req
33. Hey, I want you to be safe, okay?Copy !req
34. Listen to me. Listen to me.
You're not gonna be at this school forever.Copy !req
35. Daddy's working on it. I love you.Copy !req
36. - I love you too.
- All right.Copy !req
37. - Don't worry.
- Kind of hard not to worry. You're my daughter.Copy !req
38. - Come on, dear.
- Hey, watch it!Copy !req
39. Matter of time. Matter of time.Copy !req
40. - I kick, James!
- Yeah.Copy !req
41. Move!Copy !req
42. - Hey, babe!
- Watch this, honey.Copy !req
43. Watch this.Copy !req
44. Whoo! Look at that kick!Copy !req
45. Good job, James!Copy !req
46. Oh...Copy !req
47. Good job, guys.
We're all working hard today. Mm.Copy !req
48. Ah...Copy !req
49. You looked good out there,
my big strong fiancé.Copy !req
50. Jaoa says I need to focus on
bringing my power into the world.Copy !req
51. Fuck!Copy !req
52. Maybe I can help.Copy !req
53. You...Copy !req
54. are a great man, James King.Copy !req
55. Do me on the new house.Copy !req
56. Did it get bigger?Copy !req
57. Yeah, it did, baby.Copy !req
58. It's the dick of a king. It's your scepter.Copy !req
59. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
60. No, I mean the house.Copy !req
61. The king needs his castle, James.Copy !req
62. Ten thousand square feet.Copy !req
63. Seven bedrooms.Copy !req
64. Two kitchens.Copy !req
65. Infinity pool.Copy !req
66. Is that a guesthouse for the guesthouse?Copy !req
67. Well, in case our guests have guests.Copy !req
68. And you have so many friends, baby.Copy !req
69. Don't you, Mr. Popular?Copy !req
70. So powerful.Copy !req
71. So you don't think it's too much house,
do you?Copy !req
72. James, seriously?Copy !req
73. I mean, you wanna raise a family
in this house?Copy !req
74. - Well, yes.
- In this...Copy !req
75. house?Copy !req
76. No!Copy !req
77. No, this house is a shithole!Copy !req
78. Look...Copy !req
79. there's winners
and there's losers, James.Copy !req
80. It's what drives this country.Copy !req
81. All right? People look at what you have...Copy !req
82. and they want it.Copy !req
83. They want your huge house.Copy !req
84. And they want...Copy !req
85. your hot, hot...Copy !req
86. wife.
- So hot.Copy !req
87. - Who's the king?
- I am.Copy !req
88. Are you the king?
How much money you gonna make today?Copy !req
89. - Enough to choke a baby.
- That's right.Copy !req
90. - Yeah, are you a winner?
- Yes, I'm a winner.Copy !req
91. - Whose tits are these?
- They're my tits.Copy !req
92. These are the king's tits!Copy !req
93. - The king's titties.
- That's right.Copy !req
94. - Is it a king's dick?
- It's slightly above average.Copy !req
95. Yeah? You gotta stake your claim, James.Copy !req
96. Yes! You gotta stake it!Copy !req
97. Stake my claim.Copy !req
98. Oh, come on, baby. Do me like a billionaire!Copy !req
99. You. You, right there, with the hat.Copy !req
100. I don't careCopy !req
101. Hey, boss man, did you get that text?Copy !req
102. I sent you a text yesterday.Copy !req
103. Surprise!Copy !req
104. The boss is here.Copy !req
105. Maybe it's time that we act
like we got work to do.Copy !req
106. We got 40 cars and we got eight hours
of the air down here!Copy !req
107. James King, Wealthrop Funds.Copy !req
108. Transfer 100 million
from my client accounts.Copy !req
109. I'd like to put a buy order
on Bradway Chemical, up to 7.50.Copy !req
110. I've got a good feeling about clean coal.Copy !req
111. Clean the roofs, Mike.Copy !req
112. You don't think people can see those?
I hired you to do one thing.Copy !req
113. That's be tall.Copy !req
114. All right, great job.Copy !req
115. Hey there, Jamesy,
that was quite a ride, man.Copy !req
116. That was like third quarter 2012.Copy !req
117. - It's a real pleasure to watch you work, sir.
- Thanks, Leo.Copy !req
118. Yeah.
How about that, you knew my name!Copy !req
119. I love it.Copy !req
120. So I shorted gas and went long on coal.Copy !req
121. It wasn't quite the return
I was hoping for, but...Copy !req
122. James.Copy !req
123. You made my company $28 million today.Copy !req
124. Now, to celebrate, I would like to give you
an early wedding present...Copy !req
125. - ... partner.
- Ah.Copy !req
126. Sir, thank you.Copy !req
127. Gayle, a minute.Copy !req
128. James, this is the moment
when you cross that threshold...Copy !req
129. and join America's most elite.Copy !req
130. Anything you desire,
anything you want is yours.Copy !req
131. I'm ready for it.Copy !req
132. You know, I bought an island
in Cape Verde.Copy !req
133. An entire island.Copy !req
134. You can too.Copy !req
135. I would love to.
We could be island neighbors.Copy !req
136. You could swim over
and borrow a cup of gold.Copy !req
137. Yeah.Copy !req
138. You know, and to think
it all started with this.Copy !req
139. I still have that computer.Copy !req
140. It reminds me
of my humble beginnings.Copy !req
141. How I built this company
with my own two hands.Copy !req
142. Just me, that computer...Copy !req
143. and an $8 million loan from my father.Copy !req
144. You really did it all on your own.Copy !req
145. Very inspiring, sir.Copy !req
146. Now, listen, I want you to drop
this "sir" nonsense.Copy !req
147. You are marrying my daughter,
for Pete's sake.Copy !req
148. I want you to call me "Dad."Copy !req
149. Really? Dad?Copy !req
150. - Mm-hm.
- Heh.Copy !req
151. That feels very good.Copy !req
152. My real father never had time for me.Copy !req
153. He shipped me off to boarding school in
London with the Murdochs and the bin Ladens.Copy !req
154. Of course, that was before...Copy !req
155. I mean, we knew they cheated in soccer,
but, had no idea...Copy !req
156. you know...Copy !req
157. But if I could choose a dad...Copy !req
158. Hey, you know something,
you're family now, kid.Copy !req
159. Okay, then.Copy !req
160. Oh, boy.Copy !req
161. Motherfucker.Copy !req
162. - Mr. King.
- Aah! Aah!Copy !req
163. Take whatever you want!Copy !req
164. - Please!
- It's the hood.Copy !req
165. - Hey! It's Darnell.
- Help!Copy !req
166. - Help! Help!
- Stop! Mr. King. No!Copy !req
167. - Oh, dear Lord. Someone help me!
- Stop it! You're being ridiculous!Copy !req
168. Stop! Look at me.Copy !req
169. It's me.Copy !req
170. I got your keys!Copy !req
171. Oh.Copy !req
172. Yes! I see you.Copy !req
173. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.Copy !req
174. - Here you go.
- Oh.Copy !req
175. - I'm sorry.
- Thank you.Copy !req
176. And, uh, just so you know, I would have
done the same thing if you were white.Copy !req
177. That's good to know.Copy !req
178. Hey, Mr. King.Copy !req
179. Um...Copy !req
180. While I got you out here, I just wanna...
I just wanna talk to you for a second.Copy !req
181. I've been washing your
car for two years now...Copy !req
182. and I can tell you're the type of man
who likes the best of everything.Copy !req
183. So as owner and CEO
of Hollywood Luxury Bubbles...Copy !req
184. I wanted to offer you
an exclusive platinum lifetime wash card...Copy !req
185. for $30,000.Copy !req
186. Now, before you say anything...Copy !req
187. think about the type of money
that you'll save with this investment.Copy !req
188. Well, actually the time value
of money is such that...Copy !req
189. if I were to put that same amount
in my own fund...Copy !req
190. in 23 years' time,
I'd have in excess of $3 million.Copy !req
191. Wow. Yeah.Copy !req
192. With that rate of return, I could buy
a new car every time it gets dirty.Copy !req
193. - Isn't that impressive?
- Amazing, Mr. King.Copy !req
194. That's the magic of compounded interest.Copy !req
195. You see, I didn't get to where I am today
by asking for handouts.Copy !req
196. But by hard work.Copy !req
197. And today, that hard work paid off...Copy !req
198. as I was just named partner
in my firm.Copy !req
199. Mr. King, that is...Copy !req
200. - Hey. That is amazing.
- Thank you so much.Copy !req
201. - That is...
- Thank you.Copy !req
202. That's amazing. Mr. King, listen to me.Copy !req
203. I'm one of the hardest workers
you'll ever meet.Copy !req
204. I mean, that's why I'm down here
power-washing cars every day.Copy !req
205. I just felt with this face-to-face
that you would...Copy !req
206. That you would wanna help
a fellow business owner and job creator.Copy !req
207. I am helping you. By saying no.Copy !req
208. - Mr. King, that's...
- That way, you can make it on your own.Copy !req
209. Okay. Mr. King, I have a lot of people
helping me that way already. And... And...Copy !req
210. Great. Then you have a plan for success.Copy !req
211. Why didn't you tell me that?Copy !req
212. You see, everyone,
whether we're born rich or poor...Copy !req
213. or white...Copy !req
214. or miscellaneous...Copy !req
215. who we become...Copy !req
216. is based on our own decisions.
It's simple as that.Copy !req
217. You know who else started in a garage?Copy !req
218. Hewlett-Packard. So you're in good company.Copy !req
219. - And on that note...
- No, Mister...Copy !req
220. - You don't have to give me that much, Mr. King.
- Hold on, hold on.Copy !req
221. - You don't have to give me that much.
- Hold on. There we go.Copy !req
222. You really don't need...Copy !req
223. There you go.Copy !req
224. There's a start.Copy !req
225. Mr. King, please.
I feel like you just haven't given me...Copy !req
226. Success is a mindset!Copy !req
227. Hi, everyone!Copy !req
228. Hi.Copy !req
229. Thank you so much
for celebrating our engagement with us.Copy !req
230. Excuse me.Copy !req
231. Excuse me.Copy !req
232. Excuse me. Everyone, just "shh."Copy !req
233. Shh! You need to "shh." Senator.Copy !req
234. Shh! Shh.Copy !req
235. Yellow tie.Copy !req
236. I see you.Copy !req
237. Thank you.Copy !req
238. James, I love you...Copy !req
239. and I can't wait to be married to you.Copy !req
240. Aw.Copy !req
241. And because you rock my world...Copy !req
242. I got you this!Copy !req
243. Oh!Copy !req
244. Hey! Wow.Copy !req
245. This is beautiful.Copy !req
246. - But not as beautiful as you, Alissa.
- Aw.Copy !req
247. - I love you.
- I love you.Copy !req
248. Being with you and in front
of all of our friends and family here...Copy !req
249. I just wanna say,
I'm the luckiest man in the world!Copy !req
250. Play something!Copy !req
251. - Oh.
- Oh, oh.Copy !req
252. Well, actually, there's one more part
to your present!Copy !req
253. It's Mr. John Mayer!Copy !req
254. - John Mayer!
- Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
255. Hey, everybody!Copy !req
256. Who's John Mayer?Copy !req
257. I just wanna say, thank you,
James and Alissa, for making me...Copy !req
258. Shut up!Copy !req
259. a part of your special night.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
260. I wanna thank you personally
for the Bradway Chemical buy.Copy !req
261. - Oh, sure. Ha-ha-ha.
- There's nothing I love more than making money.Copy !req
262. Not even chicks. Or dudes. I fuck anything.Copy !req
263. You ever seen 100 women get wet
at the same time? Watch this.Copy !req
264. Aw.Copy !req
265. Fathers, be good to your daughtersCopy !req
266. Daughters will love like you doCopy !req
267. Girls become loversCopy !req
268. Who turn into mothersCopy !req
269. So, mothers
Be good to your daughters tooCopy !req
270. John, lay back.
I'm gonna take a few bars.Copy !req
271. Yeah.Copy !req
272. Hey! Step aside, FBI! Back up!Copy !req
273. Everybody, step aside!Copy !req
274. - James King.
- Yeah?Copy !req
275. You're under arrest for 43 counts
of fraud and 30 counts of embezzlement.Copy !req
276. - That's impossible.
- That's what they all say. Get him out of here!Copy !req
277. I know. This is some kind of joke.Copy !req
278. Because if this isn't,
this is the worst nightmare imaginable.Copy !req
279. Yeah! Ha-ha-ha. Finally.Copy !req
280. - Are you getting this?
- Shit, yeah! Get out of the way!Copy !req
281. - I swear I don't know what any of this is about!
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
282. Don't worry, son! I'll take care of it.Copy !req
283. Let's go.Copy !req
284. - Gayle, call my lawyer.
- My party!Copy !req
285. Looks like you could use
a friend right now.Copy !req
286. What the fuck?Copy !req
287. The charges are securities fraud
and embezzlement.Copy !req
288. - These transaction records prove you're guilty.
- I've never seen these. These are fakes!Copy !req
289. If you go to court,
they're gonna kick your ass. Take the plea.Copy !req
290. - Dad!
- Take the plea.Copy !req
291. You'll be out in a year
and in the best shape of your life.Copy !req
292. No. I have faith that the justice system
will exonerate me.Copy !req
293. And that the jury will put aside
their bias and see the truth:Copy !req
294. That I didn't steal money from people.Copy !req
295. And that I am no Bernie Madoff.Copy !req
296. A verdict is expected today
in the "mini-Madoff" trial of James King.Copy !req
297. I lost everything! Fuck you!Copy !req
298. I didn't do it!Copy !req
299. For too long,
wealthy white-collar offenders like you...Copy !req
300. have gotten a free pass with light
sentences in minimum-security prison...Copy !req
301. while working Americans have suffered.
Well, that ends today, Mr. King.Copy !req
302. I sentence you
to the harshest penalty allowed:Copy !req
303. Ten years in a maximum-security prison.Copy !req
304. You have 30 days
to get your affairs in order.Copy !req
305. Just run them over!Copy !req
306. I can't go to jail. I'll die in there.Copy !req
307. That's not gonna happen, James,
because I'm gonna put my investigators...Copy !req
308. on this twenty-four-seven
until we find out who really did this.Copy !req
309. Just stay in county lines
with that thing on.Copy !req
310. Otherwise, the U.S. Marshals
will be down there pronto.Copy !req
311. Son, I want you to stay strong.
Do you hear me?Copy !req
312. I will.Copy !req
313. I'll be so strong for you, Dad.Copy !req
314. Why me?Copy !req
315. I have to leave the country!Copy !req
316. It took so long to ring me up, I had to miss
my waxing appointment. I feel like a gorilla.Copy !req
317. It's summer too.Copy !req
318. I can't believe this is happening to me.Copy !req
319. - It's like they don't recognize you anymore.
- Thank you. Yes.Copy !req
320. Alissa!Copy !req
321. Hey! It's me, James.Copy !req
322. I know. What are you doing?Copy !req
323. Why do you look like that?Copy !req
324. Just eat your fucking salads.Copy !req
325. I'll fucking kill you if you say anything.Copy !req
326. Hi.Copy !req
327. - Hi. Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
328. I came up with a great idea.Copy !req
329. Let's just run away! Some place
that no one would ever think to find us.Copy !req
330. Mexico.Copy !req
331. Let's just leave this
material world behind.Copy !req
332. Live in a one-bedroom shack.Copy !req
333. - Oh, God.
- Yes.Copy !req
334. - You could sell Chiclets on the road.
- What?Copy !req
335. Look, we'll work out the details later.Copy !req
336. - We should get out of here.
- No!Copy !req
337. - I already cut off my ankle bracelet.
- No! No.Copy !req
338. Let's go.Copy !req
339. - James, no.
- What?Copy !req
340. - No! I'm leaving you.
- Why?Copy !req
341. But I thought you loved me forever.Copy !req
342. Well, now you know.Copy !req
343. Alissa.Copy !req
344. This is the U.S. Marshal Service.Copy !req
345. James King, exit the building
and surrender to custody immediately.Copy !req
346. Oh, shit!Copy !req
347. Hey, guys. He's in there.Copy !req
348. Why are you arresting me?Copy !req
349. I am but a simple bartender from Belize.Copy !req
350. Wait, no. Mexico.Copy !req
351. Call my lawyer in Tijuana.Copy !req
352. Shit!Copy !req
353. - What the fuck is that? Get off!
- It's me! It's me!Copy !req
354. - Mr. King?
- Yes.Copy !req
355. You scared the shit out of me, man.Copy !req
356. What you doing in the trunk?Copy !req
357. I just needed a place to regroup.Copy !req
358. You know, fresh start.Copy !req
359. Okay. Hey. Let me help you out, man.Copy !req
360. Fuck you, King!Copy !req
361. - I lost everything because of you!
- I didn't do it!Copy !req
362. Fuck!Copy !req
363. Fuck someone!Copy !req
364. Fuck a tit!Copy !req
365. Fuck a tit hard!Copy !req
366. For the love of Alan Greenspan.Copy !req
367. Fuck! My life is ruined.Copy !req
368. I venture you've heard
that I'm going to prison.Copy !req
369. Yeah. No, we all did. I just didn't
wanna bring it up first, that's all.Copy !req
370. Come on. They're probably sending you
to some Club Fed prison.Copy !req
371. You'll be playing tennis and golf, you know.Copy !req
372. - I'm going to be attending San Quentin.
- They're sending you to San Quentin?Copy !req
373. Oh.Copy !req
374. - What?
- Oh, God!Copy !req
375. They fucking in San Quentin.Copy !req
376. - Oh.
- Everybody gets the dick.Copy !req
377. I don't want it.Copy !req
378. You're not gonna get it.
You'll be in for three months.Copy !req
379. I'm gonna be there for 10 years.Copy !req
380. Goddamn! Ten years?Copy !req
381. - Oh! Oh!
- Why do you say it like that?Copy !req
382. It's not as bad as I've heard, is it?Copy !req
383. If you heard everybody fucking, it is.
That's how bad it is.Copy !req
384. I didn't hear that part.Copy !req
385. They might as well call it
San Fucking, man.Copy !req
386. I don't wish that on my worst enemy.
You talking about bad? That's bad.Copy !req
387. You should know.Copy !req
388. I'm sorry to remind you.Copy !req
389. What are you talking about?Copy !req
390. Well, the fact that you went to prison.Copy !req
391. The fact that I went to prison?Copy !req
392. Yes. Look, you did your time.Copy !req
393. You paid your debt. And we as society...Copy !req
394. should welcome you back, and we do.Copy !req
395. You and I are exactly the same.Copy !req
396. Except you can't vote, ever.Copy !req
397. Just before I get to another level of anger,
Mr. King, tell me for giggles...Copy !req
398. - ... how do you know I went to prison?
- It's simple.Copy !req
399. Statistical analysis is what I do.
Here's the deal:Copy !req
400. One out of three black men will find
themselves incarcerated during their lifetime.Copy !req
401. - Imagine a pizza, okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
402. There are three pieces.Copy !req
403. Three black pieces.Copy !req
404. One of those pieces of pizza will be thrown
in jail at some point during it's life.Copy !req
405. You know what?
Let me give you my statistical analysis.Copy !req
406. You going to San Quentin.
There's 100 percent chance...Copy !req
407. that you're gonna be somebody's bitch.
Ten years of this:Copy !req
408. - You know what that is?
- Mm-mm.Copy !req
409. A big-ass black man
on your pale white ass.Copy !req
410. "No! I don't want any more!
Stop! That's enough."Copy !req
411. Too late. He done tagged the next guy in.Copy !req
412. That's like a rabbit.
You don't want him no more...Copy !req
413. so now here comes the guy
that wants to rub your face.Copy !req
414. "I like his hair." He's breathing on you.Copy !req
415. That's disgusting. But guess what?
You can look forward to 10 years of it!Copy !req
416. What if I speak to all the bitches
and we organize...Copy !req
417. form a union, and we put our feet down
and say, "Enough!"Copy !req
418. - There's gotta be more of us than them.
- There's not.Copy !req
419. You deserve everything you're getting.
Good luck on survival, sir.Copy !req
420. Better luck on handling yourself!Copy !req
421. Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't leave.
Don't leave, please. I could use your help.Copy !req
422. Help you with what?Copy !req
423. Help me to not be someone's bitch.Copy !req
424. You expect me to help you?
I'm supposed to teach you what?Copy !req
425. How to prevent this:Copy !req
426. - All right, stop.
- You could train me.Copy !req
427. You could be the Athena to my Odysseus.Copy !req
428. I don't even know
what the fuck that is, man!Copy !req
429. I could pay you.Copy !req
430. Whatever it takes.Copy !req
431. I need $30,000.Copy !req
432. - Done.
- Oh...Copy !req
433. Okay.Copy !req
434. Yup. Yeah.Copy !req
435. - Fantastic.
- All right.Copy !req
436. What are you doing?Copy !req
437. I only know these two.Copy !req
438. What are you trying to do?Copy !req
439. - Shake? You wanna shake my hand?
- Oh, regular.Copy !req
440. - It's a deal. We got a deal.
- Excellent.Copy !req
441. - Thank you, Darnell.
- I'll see you in the morning, convict.Copy !req
442. What are you doing? What is that?Copy !req
443. - Trying to do this thing.
- No.Copy !req
444. - Shake. It's fine.
- Okay.Copy !req
445. Mr. King, no. I got that.Copy !req
446. - All right. No problem.
- I appreciate it.Copy !req
447. I appreciate it.Copy !req
448. Oh.Copy !req
449. Yes! Thank you!Copy !req
450. Thank you, Jesus!Copy !req
451. I knew it! I knew my day would come.Copy !req
452. I'm getting the house.Copy !req
453. I'm getting the house. Unh!Copy !req
454. Babe. This does not make any sense.Copy !req
455. Why would he hire you?Copy !req
456. - Because he thinks I went to prison, babe.
- That's the part I don't get.Copy !req
457. - Why would you tell him that?
- I didn't. He assumed that.Copy !req
458. - He assumed it?
- Yes!Copy !req
459. So what reason did you give him
to assume that you went to jail?Copy !req
460. I was being black.Copy !req
461. - This is nuts.
- Okay. I don't get what's nuts to you.Copy !req
462. In 30 days, we'll have the money, the house
will be ours. What is the problem?Copy !req
463. The problem is he is never going to believe
that you went to jail.Copy !req
464. Look, babe. I am your wife,
so I will put it to you straight.Copy !req
465. You are not exactly a thug.Copy !req
466. I don't have to be a thug to portray a thug.
Okay?Copy !req
467. Honestly, all I gotta do is change my voice,
talk a little deeper.Copy !req
468. Talk like this and be
every stereotype he already thinks I am.Copy !req
469. Right now, I'm thugging.
This is thugging.Copy !req
470. You're so good at it, sweetie.Copy !req
471. Have a good night.Copy !req
472. - Bitch! Don't walk away from me!
- What the hell did you just say to me?Copy !req
473. - Girl, stop. Stop!
- What is wrong with you?Copy !req
474. What is that?
I love you! I was playing!Copy !req
475. - Bitch.
- What?Copy !req
476. - I didn't say nothing!
- Oh.Copy !req
477. Man, I didn't say nothing.Copy !req
478. You wanna watch The Notebook?Copy !req
479. - I love you and Makayla.
- Yeah, I love you too. Good night.Copy !req
480. You've reached the mailbox of Martin Clark.Copy !req
481. Please leave a message after the tone.Copy !req
482. Hi, Dad?Copy !req
483. It's James.Copy !req
484. Just wondering if there's any word
from the investigators.Copy !req
485. I still love you.Copy !req
486. Thank you. Bye.Copy !req
487. Now, I heard a crazy story about you.
This guy James King?Copy !req
488. And I heard that you played at the party
where he got arrested.Copy !req
489. Yeah. I had no idea
that I was performing for a monster.Copy !req
490. I don't know how to explain what it's like
to take money from someone like that.Copy !req
491. It makes you wanna give it back to them...Copy !req
492. except that would be worse
because then they'd have it.Copy !req
493. And it's that whole helpless feeling that I have
about our creative process being monetized...Copy !req
494. and that's what inspired me
to write this song...Copy !req
495. which is actually available
on iTunes tonight at midnight.Copy !req
496. - If I can play it.
- Great.Copy !req
497. I can't see through wallsCopy !req
498. And I can't read your mindCopy !req
499. But if I did I'd findCopy !req
500. That man James King is a great big turdCopy !req
501. I mean the small, small kindsCopy !req
502. But that **** JamesCopy !req
503. Will fall
Hands against the prison wallCopy !req
504. Choking on a mouthful of ballsCopy !req
505. He'll be choking on
A mouthful of ballsCopy !req
506. I hate to admit it, but it's a good song.Copy !req
507. Okay, very nice. John Mayer, everybody.Copy !req
508. Now I'm gonna be dreaming about balls.Copy !req
509. Hey, Russell.Copy !req
510. It's Darnell.Copy !req
511. Your cousin. Your cousin, Darnell, man.Copy !req
512. Hey, listen, Russell...Copy !req
513. how would you like to make $500
just for telling me what prison was like.Copy !req
514. Well, I don't wanna say that.
Russell, I shouldn't have to say that.Copy !req
515. For what? What is...?Copy !req
516. Fine. Fine.Copy !req
517. I'm a Cliff Huxtable pussy-looking
motherfucker.Copy !req
518. No! I'm not even wearing khakis.Copy !req
519. Russell, can you please just help me, what I'm
asking you for? Just start from the beginning.Copy !req
520. No, no. Like, the beginning, the beginning.
Like, the first day of prison.Copy !req
521. On the first day?Copy !req
522. Oh. There's no warm-up?Copy !req
523. That's sad.Copy !req
524. Russell, I'm sorry,
did I just hear a gunshot?Copy !req
525. You gotta go. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
526. Ready, mother...?Copy !req
527. Ready, mother...? Ready, mother...?Copy !req
528. That's it, that's it. Ahem.Copy !req
529. Coming!Copy !req
530. Rita, Makayla, new house, good school.Copy !req
531. You ready, motherfucker?Copy !req
532. Just a second!Copy !req
533. Hello?Copy !req
534. - You ready, motherfucker?
- Aah!Copy !req
535. - Oh, it burns!
- Pepper spray, bitch!Copy !req
536. Rule number one:
You always be on guard, okay?Copy !req
537. On the inside, there's somebody
on every corner to fuck you up!Copy !req
538. Prison school is in session, bitch!
You already failing.Copy !req
539. I'm so glad I hired you.
This is just what I need.Copy !req
540. Okay. What's next?Copy !req
541. What the...?
How many motherfuckers live here?Copy !req
542. All right. Let's get started.Copy !req
543. This right here is
my prison readiness program.Copy !req
544. If you follow this guide and do exactly
what I say you will survive in prison.Copy !req
545. "Keistering."Copy !req
546. - What's keistering?
- Slow down! You ain't ready for that.Copy !req
547. You're the teacher.Copy !req
548. And I just want you to know I'll do whatever
it takes to survive and get my life back.Copy !req
549. That's good,
because let me tell you something:Copy !req
550. You're gonna have to work harder
than you ever worked before.Copy !req
551. Back when I was in Harvard Business School,
I was facing some pretty long odds.Copy !req
552. But I buckled down and I succeeded.Copy !req
553. When you was at Harvard,
did you ever get raped for failing a test?Copy !req
554. I think that's more of a Yale thing.Copy !req
555. - "Yale."
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
556. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
557. Now from this point on,
this ain't your house no more.Copy !req
558. - This San Quentin! You understand me?
- Okay.Copy !req
559. From now on this will be your cell.Copy !req
560. You do not leave this room
without my permission.Copy !req
561. It's good.Copy !req
562. - For you to sleep on, señor.
- Go on, we ain't got time for games.Copy !req
563. Go upstairs,
turn this place into prison.Copy !req
564. It will be our pleasure to repay you
for your many kindnesses.Copy !req
565. Put that in there in front of the statues
with the dicks.Copy !req
566. James, listen to me.Copy !req
567. The key to survival in prison lies
in the following simple questions:Copy !req
568. Are you hard?
And can you handle yourself?Copy !req
569. Well, this is a rare moment for optimism because
the answer to that is a resounding yes.Copy !req
570. That's good. Let me see
what your mad-dog face look like.Copy !req
571. - I'm sorry. What's a mad dog?
- You a mad dog!Copy !req
572. - Oh, shit.
- What's your what, nigga?Copy !req
573. - Take whatever you want!
- Let me see that!Copy !req
574. No!Copy !req
575. - Stop! I beg of you!
- Like a pit bull with no leash.Copy !req
576. That's a mad dog.Copy !req
577. Wow. I knew you were the right guy
for the job.Copy !req
578. In prison, a mad-dog face is essential to
your survival. Do you understand me, James?Copy !req
579. So the idea is that I make a face that conveys
the fact that I'd have no problem hurting you.Copy !req
580. Exactly what it is.
Now, convey that shit. Let me see it.Copy !req
581. Okay. Ahem.Copy !req
582. Ha!Copy !req
583. - That's terrible.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
584. No, that's horrible, man. Anger.
You gotta show me anger.Copy !req
585. - Why you smiling?
- I'm not smiling. I'm tense and I'm agitated.Copy !req
586. Come on, man!Copy !req
587. - Unh!
- That's your mad... That's it?Copy !req
588. - Your fiancée left you.
- That's right!Copy !req
589. - You happy about that?
- No.Copy !req
590. Then get mad! She gonna leave you?
What is she doing?Copy !req
591. She probably on her knees sucking
somebody dick in the back seat of a truck.Copy !req
592. Show...Copy !req
593. James.Copy !req
594. Oh. Oh. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
595. - I miss her so much.
- What the fuck are you doing, James?Copy !req
596. I'm sad-dogging you.Copy !req
597. - James?
- You think that's a strategy that could work?Copy !req
598. No. I don't think it's a strategy
that could work.Copy !req
599. Hey, listen up, everyone.
I'm extremely sad.Copy !req
600. Please don't sexually assault me.
I'm already too sad.Copy !req
601. Hey, fellas. My heart's already been raped.Copy !req
602. I don't wanna do this anymore.
Let's move on. Okay?Copy !req
603. We're moving on from the mad dog.
James, can you fight?Copy !req
604. Absolutely.Copy !req
605. What?Copy !req
606. You had to change your clothes for this?Copy !req
607. What the fuck are you doing, man?Copy !req
608. It's called capoeira.Copy !req
609. It's a Brazilian martial art.Copy !req
610. But don't be fooled
by its beauty and grace.Copy !req
611. It's actually quite deadly.Copy !req
612. This is deadly?Copy !req
613. That's deadly?Copy !req
614. - Stab.
- Ow.Copy !req
615. - Stab.
- Stop.Copy !req
616. - Stab. Stab.
- Guards! Guards!Copy !req
617. - Stabbity-stab, stab, stab!
- Ow. Ow!Copy !req
618. The fuck are you doing, man?Copy !req
619. Shit ain't gonna save you in San Quentin!Copy !req
620. Well, that may not,
but you haven't seen my Bênção kick.Copy !req
621. - Your what?
- My Bênção kick.Copy !req
622. Look what your dumb ass done did. Stab.Copy !req
623. - Stab.
- I'm dead.Copy !req
624. Stab, stab, stab, stab.Copy !req
625. You're so bad.Copy !req
626. James. I gotta tell ya. I just can't
imagine what you must be going through.Copy !req
627. It is so nice to talk to you.Copy !req
628. What's the latest from the investigators?
The investigators?Copy !req
629. - Chinese hackers. They're pretty sure.
- Hey!Copy !req
630. I know I'm not crazy. Didn't I tell you
to get off the phone? Get off the phone.Copy !req
631. - Hey, who are you talking to?
- It's Darnell. He's helping me.Copy !req
632. Your time is up!Copy !req
633. - I gotta go. I'll call you back.
- Hang it up!Copy !req
634. - If I get more phone time.
- Hang it up!Copy !req
635. That was important to me!Copy !req
636. When you got a line of inmates
waiting to use the phone...Copy !req
637. you do not wanna piss them off, James.Copy !req
638. I'm going to fuck you up, Mr. James!Copy !req
639. Rosa!Copy !req
640. You watch your back on the yard.Copy !req
641. I'm not a puto.Copy !req
642. Great.Copy !req
643. - All right. We got a problem.
- What's that?Copy !req
644. James is talking to somebody.Copy !req
645. No, no, he trusts you.Copy !req
646. - He'll never put two and two together.
- No, stop it!Copy !req
647. - This is your fault!
- What?Copy !req
648. Well, you couldn't get him
to take the plea deal.Copy !req
649. Instead of him going to prison, you got him
30 days to be out there, running around...Copy !req
650. fucking things up!Copy !req
651. I had to make it look good. You throw a fight,
you don't go down in the first round. It's fine.Copy !req
652. I don't want him out there,
playing detective with somebody.Copy !req
653. You keep an eye on my
ex-future son-in-law, would ya?Copy !req
654. - And find out who this Darnell is.
- I'm on it. Right away.Copy !req
655. There you go.Copy !req
656. All right, James. Look, you're gonna
get in a fight on the inside. Okay?Copy !req
657. You don't need to win,
but you need to show these guys...Copy !req
658. that you're not afraid to fight back. Get
used to fighting. See those guys over there?Copy !req
659. - Yes.
- Go over there and fight one of them.Copy !req
660. That's insane!Copy !req
661. They're behemoths.
They would break my spine.Copy !req
662. Those are the type of guys
you're gonna see in San Quentin.Copy !req
663. So you gotta shake that fear. I want you to
go and punch that big-ass dude in the mouth.Copy !req
664. Oh, my God. My heart is pounding.Copy !req
665. Okay.Copy !req
666. Hey, guys.Copy !req
667. Who the fuck are you, man?Copy !req
668. I wanna fight you.Copy !req
669. What?Copy !req
670. You picked the wrong day
to come to the park.Copy !req
671. - Is this some kind of joke, man?
- You ever been mad-dogged before?Copy !req
672. You about to get some right now,
motherfucker.Copy !req
673. What the fuck is that, man?Copy !req
674. It's the size of your dick.Copy !req
675. I'm gonna break it off, make you eat it.Copy !req
676. You fuck your mother with that dick?Copy !req
677. How do you know my mama?
You don't know my mama.Copy !req
678. Oh, no.Copy !req
679. - Aah! Aah! Aah!
- Come on! Get him! Get him!Copy !req
680. Get back here, bitch!Copy !req
681. Oh, no! Please don't hurt my body! Aah!Copy !req
682. No! My body!Copy !req
683. Help me!Copy !req
684. You're breaking my spine!Copy !req
685. What happened to my tennis court?Copy !req
686. You will no longer refer to this area as a tennis
court. From this point on, this is the yard.Copy !req
687. Understand something, James.
The yard is the most deadliest part of prison.Copy !req
688. It's where you get your few precious minutes
of fresh air and sunlight. Understand?Copy !req
689. Fresh air.Copy !req
690. How many times did I breathe in clean air,
fragrant with lavender, and take it for granted?Copy !req
691. James, I don't give a fuck how many times.
I don't give a shit.Copy !req
692. - I'm just saying.
- Shut up, James.Copy !req
693. You gotta step carefully because
if you step in the wrong place...Copy !req
694. you'll end up in the wrong territory.
For a person like you that can't fight...Copy !req
695. it's not a good thing, James.
It's not a good thing at all.Copy !req
696. Right now, you in the brothers-only section.
You got two seconds to get out.Copy !req
697. - Before you get mollywhopped.
- Okay, Darnell.Copy !req
698. - Who's Darnell?
- You are.Copy !req
699. My name is Leroy!Copy !req
700. - Yeah, I suggest you walk, white boy. Walk!
- All right. I'm walking.Copy !req
701. - Turn around and walk!
- I'm walking.Copy !req
702. - Hey, ése.
- What?Copy !req
703. - You got a problem, gringo?
- Darnell, what are you doing?Copy !req
704. Darnell? Who's Darnell, ése?
You're looking at Carlos.Copy !req
705. I suggest you walk wherever you came
from, ése, before you have a problem.Copy !req
706. - I was trying to leave that area.
- You need to go back...Copy !req
707. - ... over there with the negros, ése.
- With Leroy?Copy !req
708. You go back over there with the negros!
That's where you belong.Copy !req
709. - I don't see anyone.
- You belong with the Negros.Copy !req
710. - Go.
- I'm going.Copy !req
711. - Fuck you calling a negro?
- He was. I wasn't.Copy !req
712. I told you, Carlos!
Keep that shit over there on your side!Copy !req
713. - Take the Yankee with you!
- I'll go with you!Copy !req
714. Hey, I don't want him.Copy !req
715. He's a negro lover. You take him.Copy !req
716. Motherfucker! Say something else, bro!Copy !req
717. Hey! Hey, I swear to God.
I swear to God, I'll cut you, ése.Copy !req
718. - Let's just shake hands.
- There is no shaking hands, gringo.Copy !req
719. - Friendship.
- Go back where you belong.Copy !req
720. I don't know where I belong.Copy !req
721. Leave him alone. I'll keep him.Copy !req
722. You belong with me.Copy !req
723. - Who are you?
- I'm Dante.Copy !req
724. Why don't you leave him alone, Carlos!
Leave him alone, Leroy!Copy !req
725. - Are you a woman?
- I am if you want me to be.Copy !req
726. I don't want that.Copy !req
727. - Okay, I know what you are.
- Let me hold your pocket.Copy !req
728. - Let me hold your pocket.
- All right.Copy !req
729. I claimed him! He mine, Leroy!Copy !req
730. Bitch, you got two seconds
to let his fucking pocket go. Two!Copy !req
731. - Motherfucker! You got two seconds!
- Don't hit a woman!Copy !req
732. - Gonna knock your ass out!
- Don't hit a woman!Copy !req
733. You don't want my pocket.Copy !req
734. You don't want it. So what?
Why can't I be happy?Copy !req
735. Hey, ése. I don't like you
and this domestic shit in front of my crew.Copy !req
736. You think I like it?Copy !req
737. You need to fucking take it
somewhere else, ése, huh?Copy !req
738. Gringo, you take you
and your dirty bitch elsewhere.Copy !req
739. - I'll go over there.
- Don't call me dirty.Copy !req
740. I wasn't dirty when you was up in it.
I wasn't dirty then, was I?Copy !req
741. You were dirty then. You're dirty now.Copy !req
742. - He ain't complaining.
- You should get tested.Copy !req
743. No, I'm not complaining because
we have yet to have any sort of interaction.Copy !req
744. - Tonight will be our night.
- No. Tonight won't happen.Copy !req
745. - Be my white knight. Save me.
- Don't get your hopes up.Copy !req
746. Let me ride you.
Let me ride you into safety.Copy !req
747. No! I don't feel comfortable with that.
Let go of me! Leroy is going to be upset.Copy !req
748. - I knew you were coming back.
- Motherfucker!Copy !req
749. I knew you were coming back.Copy !req
750. You making me mad, motherfucker!Copy !req
751. - I'm not doing anything!
- I'm about to whoop your ass, white boy!Copy !req
752. - I'm just standing here.
- No, you not. You got my bitch!Copy !req
753. - Trying to figure out a place...
- I'm your old bitch.Copy !req
754. We're like zebras.Copy !req
755. - We're not like a zebra.
- We are like a zebra. You're my...Copy !req
756. Somehow you're getting me to hug you,
and I don't know how that's happening.Copy !req
757. That's it! That's it, gringo.
I swear, I'm getting sick of this shit. I'll stab you.Copy !req
758. I'm still confused as to what piece
you are in this puzzle, Carlos.Copy !req
759. Hold on! Hold on. Question, question.Copy !req
760. Are there any French gangs?Copy !req
761. I speak French. I'm not fluent, but I can...Copy !req
762. Can I join the gang, s'il vous plaît?Copy !req
763. You know what?
You can't fight. Since you can't fight...Copy !req
764. I'm left with one choice,
and that's to get your stupid ass in shape.Copy !req
765. God! You're failing.Copy !req
766. I've got a state-of-the-art gym
40 feet away.Copy !req
767. Ain't no gyms in San Quentin.Copy !req
768. Curl me, bitch! Curl me!Copy !req
769. Maybe I should start with a baby
at higher reps.Copy !req
770. Hey! Hey, you!Copy !req
771. - I wanna fight you.
- What'd you say, dickhead?Copy !req
772. I wanna fight you, asshole.Copy !req
773. Let's just rest here.Copy !req
774. Look at his face. He looks like
he's getting fucked right now.Copy !req
775. Come on!Copy !req
776. You better not drop me! Goddamn it!Copy !req
777. Excuse me, sir. I hate to bother you,
but I need to fight you.Copy !req
778. I was in Nam!Copy !req
779. And I fucking loved it!Copy !req
780. James, you gotta throw something back!Copy !req
781. Darnell!Copy !req
782. Oh.Copy !req
783. Save me!Copy !req
784. Attention inmates, lockdown in five minutes.Copy !req
785. And don't try any stupid shit.Copy !req
786. What did they do to my yard?Copy !req
787. No prison can hold James King.Copy !req
788. - We got a runner. Mr. James is running!
- Oh, fuck me!Copy !req
789. You're in my world now, bitch!Copy !req
790. Mother... Shit!Copy !req
791. You're never getting out alive! Ha, ha.Copy !req
792. Fuck a bag of tits!Copy !req
793. Release the dogs!Copy !req
794. What? Dogs?Copy !req
795. There's nowhere to run, Mr. James.Copy !req
796. You don't know when to quit, Mr. James.Copy !req
797. You couldn't get past Cecelio
and some Chihuahuas.Copy !req
798. Tell me how you gonna escape San Quentin.
Stop wasting my time, James.Copy !req
799. That's what happens
when you try to jump a fence illegally. Hm?Copy !req
800. Your training's not going well, man.Copy !req
801. Frankly, I don't feel like
you're giving me 100 percent.Copy !req
802. And as your incarceration expert,
that concerns me.Copy !req
803. Because it's my job to prepare you.Copy !req
804. Fortunately, I got a plan.Copy !req
805. Oh, thank God. Oh, that's good.Copy !req
806. - You're gonna learn how to suck dick.
- What?Copy !req
807. Oh, God.Copy !req
808. Listen up.
I said I want you to learn how to suck dick.Copy !req
809. I heard you!Copy !req
810. - That's your plan?
- Yes.Copy !req
811. All I'm saying is that when life puts a
dick in your mouth, you make dickade.Copy !req
812. "Dickade" doesn't sound like
a significant improvement over dick.Copy !req
813. Bottom line, James!
I know what I'm talking about.Copy !req
814. - We're talking about survival.
- I understand.Copy !req
815. - Because that's how you survived. Right?
- No, you shut your mouth. No, it is not.Copy !req
816. I survived with these.Copy !req
817. - Dual hand jobs.
- No. No! I kill with these.Copy !req
818. That's the difference between me and you.
Hence, why you need to suck a dick.Copy !req
819. Come on, man.Copy !req
820. Where am I gonna find someone who...?Copy !req
821. We're at the lvars Brasserie.Copy !req
822. Look around you.Copy !req
823. This is L.A.'s number-one
gay hookup scene.Copy !req
824. - Voted "Flirtiest Brunch" three years in a row.
- What do I say? What do I literally say?Copy !req
825. You say, "I wanna suck your dick." Politely.Copy !req
826. Hey, hi. I'm James.
You mind if I could give you a little head?Copy !req
827. - Hey, I'm James.
- I wanna suck your dick.Copy !req
828. - I wanna suck your dick.
- There you go! Just dive in!Copy !req
829. - That's what they do.
- What if someone says no?Copy !req
830. He ain't gonna say no.
It's a scientific fact.Copy !req
831. According to who?Copy !req
832. Dickapedia! Why do you care?Copy !req
833. - Is that a real site?
- No. James, it's a... Get up.Copy !req
834. You're gonna go to that bar.
That guy. That guy right there.Copy !req
835. Get up, go over there, and politely ask
that man can you suck his dick.Copy !req
836. Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe I'm about to do this.Copy !req
837. Survival.Copy !req
838. Go survive.Copy !req
839. All right. I'll just go do it.Copy !req
840. Yes, go do it.Copy !req
841. Okay.Copy !req
842. Come on. Are we doing this or not, okay?Copy !req
843. Yes, we're definitely doing it.Copy !req
844. Hey, I was nervous the first time
I did karaoke, right?Copy !req
845. Just get up there and sing.Copy !req
846. This is terrible foreplay. Come on.Copy !req
847. - I'm gonna put it in my mouth.
- Yeah.Copy !req
848. I'm gonna suck your di...
Your di...Copy !req
849. I'm gonna suck your di...Copy !req
850. That's what we're here for.Copy !req
851. I'll gonna put your di... in my mouth.
I'm gonna give you he...Copy !req
852. Facial.Copy !req
853. Down the hatch! Heh.Copy !req
854. Eating alone?Copy !req
855. I just thought you could use
some company.Copy !req
856. Oh... Oh.Copy !req
857. Okay, I see what this is.Copy !req
858. You think that you can get with me?Copy !req
859. - Interesting topic of conversation.
- Wait. No. That wasn't a sit-down invitation.Copy !req
860. - You're like a 6.
- Thank you.Copy !req
861. No, it's not a compliment.
That's not a good number. I'm like a 9.Copy !req
862. If I were to get into this game...Copy !req
863. - You know, the gay game...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
864. By the way,
the gay game is a game you can win.Copy !req
865. No, it's not, because I don't wanna play.
I'm saying "if."Copy !req
866. There's a spot on the bench for you,
if you decide to join.Copy !req
867. No, I'm not on the bench, man.Copy !req
868. Okay, starter! Heh.Copy !req
869. I'm not gay, man.Copy !req
870. I'm here, supporting a friend,
doing some gay stuff.Copy !req
871. I'm sorry. My name is Chris. It's short
for Christmas Came Early This Year.Copy !req
872. Where are you at, man?Copy !req
873. Come on, man.Copy !req
874. This is gonna help me in the long run.Copy !req
875. - Here. Right there.
- Don't point it at me.Copy !req
876. Hey! Have fun with it, right?Copy !req
877. - Have fun with it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
878. - Come on.
- Three, two, one! In the mouth!Copy !req
879. Look, you're gonna
find you someone, man.Copy !req
880. You just gotta set your sights on something
more realistic, you know?Copy !req
881. You gotta think long-term.
Think about the relationship.Copy !req
882. Who are you gonna raise
that Chinese baby with?Copy !req
883. - I don't know.
- Hm?Copy !req
884. Who are you gonna restore
that Airstream camper with?Copy !req
885. Who are you gonna drive and open that
bed-and-breakfast in New Hampshire with?Copy !req
886. - This is what I need to hear.
- Yes! Yes.Copy !req
887. I can't do it. I really tried. I
just can't! You have to train me.Copy !req
888. It's my last chance.Copy !req
889. You ready to train harder
than you've ever trained?Copy !req
890. Because once we go,
we do not hold back.Copy !req
891. We do it! And we do it hard!Copy !req
892. Are you ready to get hard?Copy !req
893. I am ready. I'm ready to get hard!Copy !req
894. - You're gonna show me you can get hard!
- I'm gonna show you!Copy !req
895. I'm gonna get so hard!
Because I'm gonna show you how hard!Copy !req
896. That's what I wanna hear.
Then let's go home and get hard.Copy !req
897. I want what they have.Copy !req
898. Yeah!Copy !req
899. Yeah, James!Copy !req
900. Yeah!Copy !req
901. - Unh!
- Yeah!Copy !req
902. That's what I'm talking about!Copy !req
903. - Ugh.
- Sho' enough!Copy !req
904. Fear of dick-sucking
will give a man strength.Copy !req
905. Fuck you.Copy !req
906. Fuck cock!Copy !req
907. Shit!Copy !req
908. Hey, back off! You better get those tits
out of my face! Or I'll show you my tits!Copy !req
909. - What are you doing?
- Working on my trash talk.Copy !req
910. You know, to get respect
from the other inmates.Copy !req
911. Let me hear some of it.Copy !req
912. All right. Ahem.Copy !req
913. Hey, pal. I'm about to tear you a new ass.Copy !req
914. You gonna have to do a little better
than that, James.Copy !req
915. Hey, I'm about to tear you a new ass.Copy !req
916. And sew up your old ass!Copy !req
917. Okay. All right.Copy !req
918. I'm gonna punch you in the fuck!Copy !req
919. I'm gonna make you my bitch's bitch!Copy !req
920. You're gonna be my grand-bitch!Copy !req
921. Yeah. You're about to 20 likes
on Instafuck.Copy !req
922. If I see you around here again,
I'm gonna put a hashtag on your ass.Copy !req
923. And see how many hits it gets.Copy !req
924. - Hmm?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
925. Hope you brought your Costco card,
because you're about to get dick in bulk!Copy !req
926. What? This is so dark.Copy !req
927. How does a prix fixe dinner
of five courses of dick sound?Copy !req
928. - You eat organic?
- What?Copy !req
929. How about fresh farm-to-table,
a purée of my balls!Copy !req
930. Yeah. Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock!
Hmm?Copy !req
931. Okay. All right, man.Copy !req
932. Where is this stuff coming from, James?Copy !req
933. Hey, son.
You're a disappointment to your parents.Copy !req
934. Who I fucked!Copy !req
935. Oh, shit.Copy !req
936. James, this is sick.
You gotta be crazy to think of this.Copy !req
937. That crazy is good.Copy !req
938. Thank you. I've got about six hours more.Copy !req
939. That's good, James. That's really good.Copy !req
940. I like that. I like that a lot.Copy !req
941. I hope you brought your dick punch-card
because the eighth dick is free.Copy !req
942. Stab!Copy !req
943. Shit! Okay.Copy !req
944. That's not bad, James.Copy !req
945. That's not bad at all.Copy !req
946. Progress.Copy !req
947. Peter piper picked a peck
of pickled cocks!Copy !req
948. Yes.Copy !req
949. Hey, hey, hey!
You ready to get to work today?Copy !req
950. Huh?Copy !req
951. - Hello.
- What's all this stuff?Copy !req
952. Oh, these are shanks.Copy !req
953. Or "shivs."Copy !req
954. In Scotland, they're referred to as "chibs."Copy !req
955. In fact, I made this one for you.Copy !req
956. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
957. Just to say thank you
for all the hard work.Copy !req
958. Oh, man.Copy !req
959. That's nice. That's cool.Copy !req
960. Whoa, whoa. Don't hold it by the blade.
Haven't you ever held one before? Right here.Copy !req
961. Yeah, no, my cellie
used to hold them all the time.Copy !req
962. I don't like them.
They cause too much trouble.Copy !req
963. You pull that out on the yard, somebody come
out attack you, they can do this to you.Copy !req
964. Now what do you do?
You know what I mean?Copy !req
965. What the hell? Where'd that come from?Copy !req
966. I taught myself how to keister.Copy !req
967. How to keister? Up the keister?Copy !req
968. Look, the electronic toothbrush part,
it still works.Copy !req
969. Oh, no. Okay, James. Cut it off.Copy !req
970. Cut it off. Get it out of my face, man.Copy !req
971. I can turn it on with no hands.Copy !req
972. I don't want to see that.
I don't want to see that trick.Copy !req
973. It's okay. Put it back. God.Copy !req
974. - Put it back?
- No. No, no.Copy !req
975. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please.Copy !req
976. - Do you want me to teach you how?
- No, I'm gonna pass on that.Copy !req
977. It starts with a simple inverse inhale.Copy !req
978. James, stop it.Copy !req
979. That, with a simultaneous
relaxing of the sphincter.Copy !req
980. I don't wanna know.Copy !req
981. You sure?Copy !req
982. I'm positive.
I just wanna ask you one question.Copy !req
983. I was over there,
and I was touching all those shanks.Copy !req
984. Were they, uh...?Copy !req
985. - Keistered?
- Yeah. Were they keistered?Copy !req
986. Most of them. Yeah.Copy !req
987. We're about to simulate a prison riot.Copy !req
988. Understand that this is
the most dangerous situation there is.Copy !req
989. Prisoners are scared.
Guards are scared.Copy !req
990. The key to surviving is to not freak out.Copy !req
991. - Good Lord. What's gonna happen?
- Cecelio's just gonna throw some stuff at you.Copy !req
992. Some roosters, some mangly
homeless guys, whatever he's got.Copy !req
993. - He's really excited about this.
- Okay. Let's do it.Copy !req
994. Wait, don't I get body armor?Copy !req
995. No. We don't have that type of time.
Cecelio!Copy !req
996. Why don't we have enough time?Copy !req
997. Remember, do not freak out.Copy !req
998. Lights!Copy !req
999. Music!Copy !req
1000. Who wants to party?Copy !req
1001. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
1002. Cecelio! Release the chickens!Copy !req
1003. No, no, no, James! Don't freak out!Copy !req
1004. Darnell, there's a baboon!Copy !req
1005. - You're in my world now!
- Aah!Copy !req
1006. Someone let me out!Copy !req
1007. Stop freaking out!Copy !req
1008. It's fucking beautiful!Copy !req
1009. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1010. Die! Die!Copy !req
1011. Cecelio, turn it off!Copy !req
1012. Turn it off!Copy !req
1013. Turn it off!Copy !req
1014. James, I've lost control!Copy !req
1015. Cecelio! Pull back! I have lost control!Copy !req
1016. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1017. - God!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1018. Shit!Copy !req
1019. - I'm stabbed!
- No!Copy !req
1020. - I'm cut!
- No, you cut me, man!Copy !req
1021. You stabbed me!Copy !req
1022. - No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!Copy !req
1023. I told you, don't freak out!
You freaked out! God! Wait...Copy !req
1024. - No, I'm okay.
- Hold up.Copy !req
1025. It's just the wine.Copy !req
1026. I see all the wine, man.Copy !req
1027. I totally feel fine.Copy !req
1028. - Oh, fuck!
- What? It's a...Copy !req
1029. Oh.Copy !req
1030. - Oh, that's where the other one went.
- Okay, just sit down.Copy !req
1031. - It's a shiv. It's just a shiv.
- Yes, I know.Copy !req
1032. Hey, don't freak out.Copy !req
1033. - I'm gonna pull it.
- Okay.Copy !req
1034. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1035. It's like a fishhook. The more you pull,
the deeper it lodges.Copy !req
1036. All right. Okay. Look, my wife's a nurse.
Let's get you to my wife. Okay?Copy !req
1037. God. Oh, God.Copy !req
1038. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1039. It's sticking right out of my head.Copy !req
1040. James, listen. I don't want to look at it
no more because I'm starting to...Copy !req
1041. Oh, shit. I'm so scared.Copy !req
1042. I know. Can you fucking
just keep your head...Copy !req
1043. Ow!Copy !req
1044. - Oh, God!
- You drove it in a little deeper.Copy !req
1045. Oh, God. Oh, James, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1046. - Is my eye twitching?
- No!Copy !req
1047. - Answer the question. Is my eye twitching?
- It look fine.Copy !req
1048. - Yeah? Does it look fine?
- Yeah, fine, man. There's nothing wrong.Copy !req
1049. - Let's play a memory game, okay? Engage.
- Yes.Copy !req
1050. - Give me 12 months.
- Months.Copy !req
1051. One, two...Copy !req
1052. - No.
- Four...Copy !req
1053. Summer, Christmas...Copy !req
1054. - What?
- Baked potato...Copy !req
1055. - What is "baked potato"?
- Wait. Did I leave one out?Copy !req
1056. No. You're right. You're right.
Those are the months.Copy !req
1057. Thanks for driving me to college, Dad.Copy !req
1058. What? What the fuck?Copy !req
1059. But don't start crying when you drop me off
at the dorm, because then I'll start crying.Copy !req
1060. I love you, Dad.Copy !req
1061. Love you too, man.Copy !req
1062. - This is where I need to get out.
- James! No! No!Copy !req
1063. Close the door! Close the door!Copy !req
1064. - Are we at Coachella?
- No, James!Copy !req
1065. Rita, thank you once again
for taking the knife out of my head.Copy !req
1066. Mm.Copy !req
1067. Makayla, what...?Copy !req
1068. Young lady.Copy !req
1069. But he's doing it.Copy !req
1070. This is delicious.Copy !req
1071. - Okay, James. James.
- Grr.Copy !req
1072. Stop. Stop. You don't have to eat like that.
You're on furlough.Copy !req
1073. Mm.Copy !req
1074. Sorry. It's part of my training.Copy !req
1075. If you let someone mess with your food,
you're a punk.Copy !req
1076. It's delicious, though.Copy !req
1077. Look, you need to shut this stuff down
right now.Copy !req
1078. Do you understand you're gonna get him
killed before he even gets to prison?Copy !req
1079. - What are you talking about?
- Darnell's doing a wonderful job.Copy !req
1080. - He's a great teacher.
- See that?Copy !req
1081. And a great friend.Copy !req
1082. I just can't figure out how he ever
went to jail in the first place.Copy !req
1083. Gosh, me neither.Copy !req
1084. Darnell, have you every shared
with James the story of how you went away?Copy !req
1085. No, he hasn't.Copy !req
1086. Well, he's not really ready
for that right now.Copy !req
1087. And I got Makayla at the table.Copy !req
1088. I mean, she's the daughter of a convicted felon.
She's strong.Copy !req
1089. - Mm-hm.
- Good point.Copy !req
1090. Why don't you tell it?
Don't leave out details.Copy !req
1091. I'd love to hear it.
I think it could really help me.Copy !req
1092. Okay, uh...Copy !req
1093. We was just some boys in the hood.Copy !req
1094. Me, my man, Ricky, and Doughboy.Copy !req
1095. Doughboy's real name was Russell.
We was close, man.Copy !req
1096. Thing about Ricky, Ricky was special,
because Ricky had the ticket.Copy !req
1097. Ricky was star quarterback.
You know, he had a college future.Copy !req
1098. He was our golden boy, you know?Copy !req
1099. We got into it with some other guys.
You know, some gangbang stuff.Copy !req
1100. Uh, on the way home we decide to split up.Copy !req
1101. Me and Doughboy said we'll go this way.Copy !req
1102. Ricky said he'll go this way.Copy !req
1103. Me and Doughboy come around,
we see Ricky on the ground.Copy !req
1104. Ricky got shot.Copy !req
1105. I run over there.
I'm running, I'm running.Copy !req
1106. I grab him. I got his head on my arm.
I'm looking. I'm like, "Ricky!Copy !req
1107. Ricky!"Copy !req
1108. "Ricky."Copy !req
1109. He had the ticket!Copy !req
1110. They got him.Copy !req
1111. Doughboy's like, "Come on, man. Get up.
Let him be. He's done."Copy !req
1112. I get up.Copy !req
1113. Doughboy says, "You know what this mean.
This mean we gotta step up."Copy !req
1114. I said, "You damn right, it does."
So we strapped up.Copy !req
1115. - I don't know what that means.
- It means we got the burners.Copy !req
1116. I don't know what that means.Copy !req
1117. It means we went and got the guns.Copy !req
1118. We saw those guys later that night.Copy !req
1119. Three headshots. Pop! Pop! Pop!Copy !req
1120. - "That's for Ricky!"
- For sure.Copy !req
1121. Cops came, man.Copy !req
1122. I told Doughboy I'd take the rap.Copy !req
1123. I said, "You go ahead. Live your life.
I'll tell them it was me."Copy !req
1124. Cops came. I said, "I did it."Copy !req
1125. I went to jail.Copy !req
1126. You gave your life and your freedom
for Russell.Copy !req
1127. Loyal to a fault.Copy !req
1128. It is what it is.Copy !req
1129. That's why I wash cars today.Copy !req
1130. Because I got blood on my hands.Copy !req
1131. Just like Lady Macbeth.Copy !req
1132. - Huh?
- Like Macbeth.Copy !req
1133. Yes.Copy !req
1134. - Yes.
- Phew.Copy !req
1135. Wow, what a story.Copy !req
1136. Almost sounds like a movie.Copy !req
1137. Phew. Yeah.Copy !req
1138. Mm-hm.Copy !req
1139. Darnell, why don't you tell him about that time
that that white lady came and adopted you...Copy !req
1140. and turned you into an offensive tackle.Copy !req
1141. I think we've talked enough tonight.Copy !req
1142. Oh. There's my cab.Copy !req
1143. I'd better get back before lockdown
or Cecelio will put me in the hole.Copy !req
1144. He loves putting me in the hole.Copy !req
1145. - Well, let me walk you out, man.
- No, that's fine.Copy !req
1146. Thanks for everything.Copy !req
1147. James, it was wonderful meeting you.Copy !req
1148. Great to meet you too.Copy !req
1149. You know, growing up, my family would
never spend any time together like this.Copy !req
1150. You guys are very lucky.Copy !req
1151. - Bye, Makayla.
- Bye, Mr. King.Copy !req
1152. Bye-bye.Copy !req
1153. Hey, your dad never went to jail, okay?Copy !req
1154. I've seen Boyz n the Hood.Copy !req
1155. Who showed you Boyz n the Hood?Copy !req
1156. Daddy, I don't think he did it.Copy !req
1157. Of course he didn't.Copy !req
1158. You need to do something
that's really gonna help him.Copy !req
1159. He will not last in prison.Copy !req
1160. He wouldn't even last in my school.Copy !req
1161. Hello, this is James.Copy !req
1162. Hey. It's me, Darnell.
Look, man, I've been thinking it over...Copy !req
1163. and it might be a good idea to get
you extra protection on the inside.Copy !req
1164. So tomorrow we're gonna go over
to my cousin Russell's house. Now listen.Copy !req
1165. Russell and his friends,
they're different dudes.Copy !req
1166. Very suspicious of outsiders.Copy !req
1167. You walking in there, they're probably
gonna think you a cop off the bat.Copy !req
1168. So I need you to do something for me
so we don't create any dangerous situations.Copy !req
1169. - Dress casually.
- Blackface.Copy !req
1170. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
1171. - See you tomorrow.
- James. James.Copy !req
1172. James, don't do nothing stupid.
Just dress casual.Copy !req
1173. - Nice whip.
- What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
1174. - Who you supposed to be dressed like, James?
- Little Wayne.Copy !req
1175. - It's what he wore at his last runway show.
- Oh, Lil Wayne.Copy !req
1176. You told me I needed to try to fit in, so I
stayed up all last night studying your culture.Copy !req
1177. - I'm sorry, what?
- And to those who say jazz...Copy !req
1178. is the only indigenous American art form,
I say listen to a little Jay-Z, my friend.Copy !req
1179. Oh.Copy !req
1180. I forgot the gin and juice.
Should I run back inside?Copy !req
1181. Will you stop?Copy !req
1182. I'm not trying to appropriate your culture.Copy !req
1183. - That's great. I'll tell the others.
- I'm just saying...Copy !req
1184. hip-hop is a very sophisticated,
multifaceted subculture...Copy !req
1185. that speaks
to all different types of people.Copy !req
1186. The music, the fashions,
the attitudes, the beefs...Copy !req
1187. The more I read, the more I listened...Copy !req
1188. the more I felt connected
to its rich cultural tapestry.Copy !req
1189. That is really great. Now, can we please
be done with this conversation?Copy !req
1190. Please stop.Copy !req
1191. I think I know who killed Tupac.Copy !req
1192. - I got next!
- What the fuck?Copy !req
1193. - Hello.
- I'm gonna put a cap in yo ass.Copy !req
1194. Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
1195. - Yo, he's good. He with me.
- And who the fuck are you, nigga?Copy !req
1196. Hey, Russell. Russell!Copy !req
1197. Russell.Copy !req
1198. Russell! Excuse me.Copy !req
1199. Hello. James King,
Senior Fund Manager, Wealthrop Funds.Copy !req
1200. - James, come on.
- Excuse me. Right through here.Copy !req
1201. Hell no, man. Is this the motherfucker who
you said you had to get ready for prison, man?Copy !req
1202. Well, I need protection,
and I'm hoping to join the Crenshaw Kings.Copy !req
1203. Are you? Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1204. I've seen white people before. My probation
officer is white. You know what I'm saying?Copy !req
1205. But you, motherfucker, man,
you white as mayonnaise, man. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1206. Oh, shit. Maybe in blackface. Who knows?
Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1207. Hey, listen. I tell you what though.Copy !req
1208. You damn sure
got your get-up right, man.Copy !req
1209. I mean, camouflage and cheetah print,
that's straight out the gangbanger's handbook.Copy !req
1210. Yeah, yeah, like Lil Wayne, right?Copy !req
1211. Exactly. Thank you.Copy !req
1212. I love it.Copy !req
1213. Look, he's not trying
to be a member, okay?Copy !req
1214. He just wants you to protect him
while he's on the inside.Copy !req
1215. Like you did for Darnell
when he took the rap for you.Copy !req
1216. What?Copy !req
1217. We can talk about that another time.Copy !req
1218. - Yeah.
- No.Copy !req
1219. So let's let that go.Copy !req
1220. You remember. You know.Copy !req
1221. With what Ricky did and the ticket...Copy !req
1222. and you freaked out and Darnell
took control of the situation.Copy !req
1223. - Stop.
- Is this motherfucking...?Copy !req
1224. Boyz n the Hood, man.Copy !req
1225. - This is a bad time.
- Okay, I tell you what, man.Copy !req
1226. I tell you what:Copy !req
1227. Humor me.Copy !req
1228. I'm a fair person.Copy !req
1229. And I'm a businessman.Copy !req
1230. Clear professional.Copy !req
1231. What's your life worth to you?Copy !req
1232. - How does a million dollars sound?
- Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1233. "How does a million dollars sound?"
Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1234. Hold up, everybody.
Stand back. I'll handle it.Copy !req
1235. How does a million dollars sound?Copy !req
1236. Million dollars sound like a one with six zeros
behind it with two commas separating them.Copy !req
1237. However, from the sound of CNN
and the looks of The Wall Street Journal...Copy !req
1238. and everybody else with eyes and ears go
to get they news, you broke, motherfucker.Copy !req
1239. Your assets have been frozen
with no chances of thawing anytime soon.Copy !req
1240. So you probably got as much or less...Copy !req
1241. than this little no-good, manipulative,
degenerate motherfucker...Copy !req
1242. right here next to you.Copy !req
1243. Which forces me to ask the question,
"Are you fucking with me?"Copy !req
1244. You think this a motherfucking game?
You think I'm playing?Copy !req
1245. Why would you come up in my hood,
in my house...Copy !req
1246. and present yourself as something you not,
offering shit you can't deliver?Copy !req
1247. - Did this motherfucker tell you to lie to me?
- Russ.Copy !req
1248. Shut the fuck up, man.Copy !req
1249. I think, real fast, you need to tell me
what the fuck you gonna do...Copy !req
1250. to make me wanna keep motherfuckers
off your ass.Copy !req
1251. You're talking to James King.Copy !req
1252. Let me create wealth for you.Copy !req
1253. So the normal minimum buy-in
to the Nexel Fund is 5 million...Copy !req
1254. but I can get you guys in using
a brokerage pocket account.Copy !req
1255. In other words, liquidate two bricks
of cocaine and park it right here.Copy !req
1256. With the historical performance of the fund,
that's gonna double every three to five years...Copy !req
1257. and we're looking at,
mm, $1.2 million easy.Copy !req
1258. Ain't no way you're making that much money
without committing a crime.Copy !req
1259. With apologies to Balzac.Copy !req
1260. What the fuck?
You talking about my ballsack?Copy !req
1261. No. What we're gonna do
is we get other people's money...Copy !req
1262. who've made an opposite prediction
on the market.Copy !req
1263. Okay, we gonna roll on them
and take they money.Copy !req
1264. Just how strapped
are these loser motherfuckers?Copy !req
1265. Oh, I wouldn't worry.Copy !req
1266. I've taken millions from them...Copy !req
1267. and they haven't stepped to me yet.Copy !req
1268. Loser motherfuckers.Copy !req
1269. Damn. Mayo is badass.Copy !req
1270. Stock market is gangster. Take what's
yours and fuck the other guy, right?Copy !req
1271. Wall Street, man.
Those are the real criminals.Copy !req
1272. Those guys get away with murder.Copy !req
1273. Wait, man.
You murder people all the time, Black.Copy !req
1274. Oh, yeah. Murder's my favorite.Copy !req
1275. And they think, "Oh, please, don't kill me."Copy !req
1276. I love it. And I'm like,
"I'm not gonna kill you."Copy !req
1277. They relax, then I'm like,
"Boom, get on the ground now!Copy !req
1278. Get on the ground! Get on the ground!"Copy !req
1279. I'll kill you! I'll kill you!Copy !req
1280. - I get excited about murder.
- Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1281. I'm... I'm laughing.Copy !req
1282. You should know, you did all right this time.Copy !req
1283. Your boy, Mayo, is an earner.Copy !req
1284. Are you gonna get him some help
on the inside?Copy !req
1285. I'll help him.Copy !req
1286. But not with us.
You know, inside it's all about color.Copy !req
1287. Dude need a white gang.Copy !req
1288. A very white gang.Copy !req
1289. But I'll put the play together.Copy !req
1290. That's the gang I have to join?Copy !req
1291. They seem kind of racist.Copy !req
1292. Ain't no "kind of." They are.Copy !req
1293. That's the Alliance of Whites.Copy !req
1294. That's also your only chance
of survival in prison...Copy !req
1295. so you need to go in there and you need to
make them believe that you're one of them.Copy !req
1296. Matter of fact, call me the N-word. But say
it like you mean it, though. Let me hear it.Copy !req
1297. What? No.Copy !req
1298. That's the wrong N-word. Come on, James,
I'm giving you a free pass right now.Copy !req
1299. In this truck, the N-word is perfectly fine.
Just another word right now. Go ahead.Copy !req
1300. That still doesn't feel...Copy !req
1301. Let's try this.
What's that place where your leg bends?Copy !req
1302. My knee?Copy !req
1303. Okay. And, uh, what noise
does a angry dog make?Copy !req
1304. - Grr?
- Put it together, though.Copy !req
1305. Knee. Knee-grr.Copy !req
1306. - Ow!
- Oh, shit! I'm sorry.Copy !req
1307. I am sorry, man, that just happened.Copy !req
1308. That literally just happened.Copy !req
1309. Wow, I got you good too.Copy !req
1310. It just, like, jumped out, man.Copy !req
1311. It was a reflex. I really can't tell you.Copy !req
1312. I didn't even say it.
I was saying two other words.Copy !req
1313. I apologize, James.
What do you want me to do?Copy !req
1314. Just get your ass out the car
and go in there, act hard.Copy !req
1315. Fit in, man. Go ahead.Copy !req
1316. Cut the light off! Shit!Copy !req
1317. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
1318. Spider, you're up.Copy !req
1319. Watch and learn, son.Copy !req
1320. Hi.Copy !req
1321. Um...Copy !req
1322. If I could have your attention, please.
I'm just looking for Spider?Copy !req
1323. He's a narc!Copy !req
1324. Listen, this relationship
can't just be built around him.Copy !req
1325. You got a right to be happy too,
you know?Copy !req
1326. And I am, I am. And I think I'm open
to it now because of our talk.Copy !req
1327. Yeah. That's good. I love the fact
that you're listening. I love that.Copy !req
1328. You know, you're the best boyfriend
I never had.Copy !req
1329. Ha, ha. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1330. Yeah, well, I'm not totally giving up.
There is time.Copy !req
1331. - And things change with time.
- No, no, they don't.Copy !req
1332. No. No, no. That's never gonna happen.Copy !req
1333. - You say that now.
- No, no, no. I'm always gonna say that.Copy !req
1334. - Okay.
- Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1335. Okay.Copy !req
1336. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1337. Hey, I gotta go, okay?Copy !req
1338. So I'll talk to you later. Have fun.Copy !req
1339. Private club, Jew Hair.Copy !req
1340. Good one, Spider.Copy !req
1341. I walked right into that one. Heh.Copy !req
1342. James King. Protestant.Copy !req
1343. But Russell,
from the Crenshaw Kings, referred me?Copy !req
1344. Yeah, Russell said you'd be by.Copy !req
1345. Anyway, I'm going to prison
and I need protection.Copy !req
1346. Well, welcome to the club, Jimbo.Copy !req
1347. Great! Oh, good!Copy !req
1348. But you get protection from us,
we got rules.Copy !req
1349. Principles.Copy !req
1350. Rule number one:Copy !req
1351. When you're on the inside, you don't
hang out with the niggers or the spics.Copy !req
1352. Now, do you have a problem
with that, brother?Copy !req
1353. Me?Copy !req
1354. Of course not.Copy !req
1355. Spider, what do you take me for?Copy !req
1356. I'm a big-time racist.Copy !req
1357. I hate the knee.Copy !req
1358. What?Copy !req
1359. What is this shit?Copy !req
1360. I mean, heck, I'm such a racist
that my chess set, I only have white pieces.Copy !req
1361. It's confusing, but I don't...Copy !req
1362. I won't give the blacks a chance to win.Copy !req
1363. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1364. He's a fucking cop.Copy !req
1365. - He's a cop!
- I smell bacon.Copy !req
1366. - I'm not a cop.
- Fucking hate narcs.Copy !req
1367. We'll find out what he is.Copy !req
1368. Yeah.Copy !req
1369. Oh, God.Copy !req
1370. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1371. I'm just wondering if maybe I'm not
the best fit for the Alliance of Whites.Copy !req
1372. You got anything to confess
before I rip your face off?Copy !req
1373. Fine! Go ahead!Copy !req
1374. Kill me!
But please tell the world I'm not a thief!Copy !req
1375. I did not do the things they said I did!Copy !req
1376. Promise me, Spider! Promise me!Copy !req
1377. Burn him.Copy !req
1378. The fuck was that?Copy !req
1379. That's right!Copy !req
1380. A black man just came in with a flamethrower,
just like you always knew would happen!Copy !req
1381. Yeah!Copy !req
1382. The devil in here, bitch!Copy !req
1383. And he's a black man.Copy !req
1384. Stay yo ass back! Stay back!Copy !req
1385. James! Let's go!Copy !req
1386. Yeah.Copy !req
1387. - You all right?
- Yeah. Come on.Copy !req
1388. Come on. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
1389. You know what? I got something
I wanna say to y'all since I'm guessing...Copy !req
1390. this is the first time that you've ever
been forced to listen to a black man.Copy !req
1391. You know, maybe you guys
should just calm the fuck down.Copy !req
1392. Black people ain't trying to hurt you!Copy !req
1393. I mean, technically, I am right now.Copy !req
1394. But that's only because of what you
were trying to do to the white guy.Copy !req
1395. Think about that!Copy !req
1396. Google "I Have a Dream," assholes!Copy !req
1397. It's a teachable moment here, people.Copy !req
1398. Should burn everybody in here.Copy !req
1399. Run, James!Copy !req
1400. - Oh, shit!
- Bring me their fucking heads!Copy !req
1401. Run, James! Run!Copy !req
1402. What the fuck
are you knocking over the bike for? Run!Copy !req
1403. Oh, God.
You just couldn't say "nigger", huh?Copy !req
1404. What? You can't see the irony
in being mad at me about that?Copy !req
1405. - No!
- Motherfuckers!Copy !req
1406. - It's Nazi titties!
- And they're huge!Copy !req
1407. Get out!Copy !req
1408. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1409. - Whoa!
- Bitch, get your white ass off!Copy !req
1410. Goddamn it! Ugh!Copy !req
1411. Oh, go, go, go!Copy !req
1412. - You blew up my club, Jew Hair!
- Oh, shit!Copy !req
1413. Post-racial America, assholes!Copy !req
1414. - Fuck you, Nazis!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1415. I'm so glad to be back in Crenshaw
where it's safe.Copy !req
1416. My heart is just now finally settling.Copy !req
1417. Yeah. We're alive.Copy !req
1418. How about we make a toast
to escaping fucking Nazis.Copy !req
1419. Yes. Heh.Copy !req
1420. You really are innocent, aren't you?Copy !req
1421. Yes.Copy !req
1422. - Absolutely.
- Okay, so James, if that's the case...Copy !req
1423. then why aren't you trying to find
the guy that framed you?Copy !req
1424. We are.Copy !req
1425. Who are?Copy !req
1426. Now, Martin has a team of investigators
working around the clock.Copy !req
1427. He's keeping me up to date.
But the million-dollar question is:Copy !req
1428. - Who falsified my transaction records?
- All right, lay it on me.Copy !req
1429. All right. Now, this is very complicated
to follow.Copy !req
1430. I don't expect you to get it on the first pass,
so listen very carefully.Copy !req
1431. The one thing you need to understand
at the Wealthrop Fund...Copy !req
1432. is that everything
flows through Martin.Copy !req
1433. - Okay?
- OkayCopy !req
1434. Any sort of contact
with the clearing house, the traders...Copy !req
1435. access to trading records
and client information...Copy !req
1436. international accounts, institutions...Copy !req
1437. and, of course, the doling out
of commissions all goes through Martin.Copy !req
1438. - So it's Martin.
- No.Copy !req
1439. Are you fucking ki...?
It's common sense, James.Copy !req
1440. Look! All arrows point to Martin!Copy !req
1441. The only name on the board
is fucking Martin!Copy !req
1442. Martin! Martin! Martin!Copy !req
1443. Come on! James, you need to focus.Copy !req
1444. You're going to prison
unless you can prove that Martin did it.Copy !req
1445. We'd need to get a hold
of the master records...Copy !req
1446. which is a log of all transactions
made by anyone in the firm.Copy !req
1447. - Okay, how do we get it?
- Martin has the original copy...Copy !req
1448. on the same computer that he had
when he started the company.Copy !req
1449. You got to be the dumbest genius I've...
Get up, James!Copy !req
1450. - All right.
- Fuck the board! Let's go, James!Copy !req
1451. We're going to Martin's office.Copy !req
1452. Act natural, James.
You walking like you guilty.Copy !req
1453. - Hey, big guy, you catch the game?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1454. Hey, big guy, my name is Ken.
I work here.Copy !req
1455. It's in this cabinet.Copy !req
1456. We just have to figure out a way
to get the door open.Copy !req
1457. Watch out.Copy !req
1458. I got it.Copy !req
1459. Ugh. There it is. Same computer he had
when he started the company.Copy !req
1460. It's a good luck charm.Copy !req
1461. Good luck charm, my ass.Copy !req
1462. It has no connection to the outside world.
No emails, no internet, no trace.Copy !req
1463. There it is. The master records.Copy !req
1464. That's what we need.
This will clear my name.Copy !req
1465. Well, then let's not waste time. Get it.Copy !req
1466. Yes! I'm not going to prison.Copy !req
1467. More importantly,
I'm not gonna be anyone's bitch.Copy !req
1468. Hey, you are living the dream, my friend.Copy !req
1469. - Darnell?
- Yeah?Copy !req
1470. Look, you saved my life.Copy !req
1471. - I don't know how I'll ever repay you.
- Oh, come on, man.Copy !req
1472. Just this once.Copy !req
1473. All right, break it up.Copy !req
1474. Leave the cart there and back away.
Move away, come on. Move, move.Copy !req
1475. I actually respect you for trying,
but enough is enough, James.Copy !req
1476. All right.Copy !req
1477. What are you doing?Copy !req
1478. James, what are you doing?Copy !req
1479. Don't mad-dog, James.Copy !req
1480. He's gonna shoot us.Copy !req
1481. What the fuck?Copy !req
1482. No. He's gonna kill us, man.Copy !req
1483. - Do you want some?
- Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1484. - Do you wanna step with me?
- God!Copy !req
1485. You'd better... Don't...Copy !req
1486. Oh.Copy !req
1487. The gun! Grab the gun!Copy !req
1488. - Huh?
- Why don't you pick up the gun!Copy !req
1489. Uh...Copy !req
1490. - Grab it!
- Yeah. I got it, I got it!Copy !req
1491. I got it. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
1492. You look a little nervous.
First time holding a gun?Copy !req
1493. Nope.Copy !req
1494. Motherfucker, freeze!Copy !req
1495. Before I pop yo ass!Copy !req
1496. "Pop"? Really?Copy !req
1497. I would listen to him.
This man's a dangerous felon.Copy !req
1498. Yeah, except when I ran his record,
it was the cleanest one I'd ever seen.Copy !req
1499. Not even a parking ticket.Copy !req
1500. - Yeah.
- What?Copy !req
1501. You didn't know? Yeah.Copy !req
1502. Stop clicking around and give me the gun.
Come on. Give me the gun.Copy !req
1503. I think you have the safety on.Copy !req
1504. Shit! Ow.Copy !req
1505. Ugh.Copy !req
1506. See? Safety's on.Copy !req
1507. Safety off.Copy !req
1508. Martin was right.
You are a lucky little shit.Copy !req
1509. Don't give me reason to find you again.
Either of you.Copy !req
1510. Don't you mad-dog me, James.Copy !req
1511. Listen, listen,
I got some explaining to do. James!Copy !req
1512. We can talk about this
after we go catch this guy.Copy !req
1513. You traitor!Copy !req
1514. - "Traitor"?
- Everything you taught me was a lie!Copy !req
1515. And now I'm fucked
beyond all fucktitude!Copy !req
1516. My life's asshole is fucked!Copy !req
1517. You stop with your unorthodox style
of cussing!Copy !req
1518. You just remember:Copy !req
1519. Whatever happens to me in there,
it's your fault!Copy !req
1520. Oh, stop. That's bullshit, man.Copy !req
1521. Okay, I may have lied to you about going
to jail, but I did my job. I got you ready!Copy !req
1522. Ready for what?Copy !req
1523. Maximum-bullshit prison?Copy !req
1524. I almost sucked a dick because of you!Copy !req
1525. I don't even give a shit.Copy !req
1526. It's my sign.Copy !req
1527. Now, the great thing about an IRA, if you need
the money for education or a first home...Copy !req
1528. motherfuckers can make withdrawal
penalty-free.Copy !req
1529. I honestly don't get the difference
between Roth and the traditional IRAs.Copy !req
1530. Fuck is wrong with you?
The shit is pretax.Copy !req
1531. No, it's okay.
A lot of people get confused by that.Copy !req
1532. This bitch is gonna mess around,
get us audited.Copy !req
1533. - Say what you mean.
- You got five years' receipts, motherfucker?Copy !req
1534. And the strip club ain't no home office!Copy !req
1535. That's a red flag, nigga!Copy !req
1536. You big beanbag-build bitch!Copy !req
1537. Stop it! You all friends! Right?Copy !req
1538. Now JoJo, you might be right.Copy !req
1539. A strip club isn't a home office.Copy !req
1540. You're asking to be audited, son.Copy !req
1541. But is being right more important
than friendship? Huh?Copy !req
1542. Take it from me.Copy !req
1543. I lost my black friend.Copy !req
1544. Don't lose yours.Copy !req
1545. Hug.Copy !req
1546. Hug, motherfuckers!Copy !req
1547. - I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
1548. - I'll love you forever.
- Hey, bro, you know, it's just talk.Copy !req
1549. Say, cos, you ready to get
put on the hood?Copy !req
1550. I'm rolling.Copy !req
1551. Mayo, I need you to sink your mind
into this, cos.Copy !req
1552. Once you step through this threshold,
motherfuckers are ready to kill for you.Copy !req
1553. I mean a whole fraternity of motherfuckers
gonna have your back.Copy !req
1554. But there's only one way out of this.Copy !req
1555. That's when your casket
drops into the ground.Copy !req
1556. So from this day forward...Copy !req
1557. you have eternal protection...Copy !req
1558. until your eternal demise.Copy !req
1559. We dead-ass serious about what we do.Copy !req
1560. And if you go through that threshold
and you make it back...Copy !req
1561. we gonna be dead-ass serious about you.Copy !req
1562. Time to smoke some fools.Copy !req
1563. Crenshaw Kings for life, motherfucker.Copy !req
1564. Hmm. Almost.Copy !req
1565. Let's roll.Copy !req
1566. Hey.Copy !req
1567. You come back safe.Copy !req
1568. I will, Shonda.Copy !req
1569. - We gotta go, Mayo.
- Bye, baby.Copy !req
1570. Let's roll, cos.Copy !req
1571. Hold up! Oh, shit! Wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
1572. Oh, wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
1573. Hey! It's Darnell! It's Darnell!Copy !req
1574. - It's Darnell!
- What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
1575. Shit, cousin!
Man, tell them to put their guns down!Copy !req
1576. Man, put them up.Copy !req
1577. God!Copy !req
1578. What is your problem, man?
What are you doing?Copy !req
1579. Man, give us a second.Copy !req
1580. I'm blooding in. Crenshaw Kings
are gonna protect me on the inside.Copy !req
1581. So you're gonna go and kill somebody, James?
Huh? Have you lost your fucking mind?Copy !req
1582. I have to. I don't have a choice.Copy !req
1583. That is not true.Copy !req
1584. I came here to tell you
we can clear your name, James.Copy !req
1585. But you gotta trust me, man.Copy !req
1586. We gotta roll, Mayo.Copy !req
1587. "Mayo"?Copy !req
1588. - Who the fuck is Mayo?
- I'm Mayo. It's my gang name.Copy !req
1589. It's short for "Mayonnaise"
on account of my skin color.Copy !req
1590. I came up with that.Copy !req
1591. - Okay, you wanna go then?
- What?Copy !req
1592. - You wanna go?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1593. Putting fingerprints on your gun.
If you go to jail, I'm going to jail with you.Copy !req
1594. So before you out there and make a stupid-ass
decision, why don't you think about that?Copy !req
1595. There you go.Copy !req
1596. That's it?
My fingerprints are off that easy?Copy !req
1597. Pretty much. Good as new.
Let's roll, Mayo.Copy !req
1598. James, you got a choice right now. You got
the right path, you got the wrong path.Copy !req
1599. Make the right decision, James.Copy !req
1600. Follow your heart, man.Copy !req
1601. James, you gotta trust me on this one.Copy !req
1602. Oh, my God! I almost did it!
I almost killed a man!Copy !req
1603. And I was gonna use this gun.Copy !req
1604. James, put that away, man! Stop!Copy !req
1605. - What is your problem?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1606. They were just encouraging me...Copy !req
1607. and they were high-fiving me.Copy !req
1608. They're passing me this sticky icky.Copy !req
1609. And between the pot and the hos...Copy !req
1610. it was just an ambrosia
of primal sensations.Copy !req
1611. And for one brief moment,
I knew what my purpose was.Copy !req
1612. - Okay, okay.
- Not to mention Russell.Copy !req
1613. He's so charismatic. Real natural leader.
Reminds me of a young Ronald Reagan.Copy !req
1614. Hey...Copy !req
1615. Thank you for coming back for me.Copy !req
1616. Thanks for not doing nothing stupid, man.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1617. All right, so listen to this.Copy !req
1618. I figured out that the residue
on Martin's car was saltwater.Copy !req
1619. Then I remembered the mileage. I used to take
a picture of the odometer all the time...Copy !req
1620. - ... to keep people from accusing me of joyriding.
- People do that? That's awful.Copy !req
1621. Yeah, you did it like three times. You tried to
get me fired, but thought my name was Andre.Copy !req
1622. Anyway, Martin used to drive
the same exact seven miles every day.Copy !req
1623. But last week,
he started driving 56 miles every day.Copy !req
1624. Fifty-six! So, what I did was,
I checked the map.Copy !req
1625. Turns out that's the exact distance
of a round-trip to San Pedro.Copy !req
1626. Saltwater, ocean, San Pedro.Copy !req
1627. I just gotta figure out why he's going to
San Pedro. That's the only thing I don't know.Copy !req
1628. His yacht.Copy !req
1629. It's docked at the port.Copy !req
1630. - Fucker's got a yacht?
- Mm-hm. And an island in Cape Verde...Copy !req
1631. - ... where there are no extradition laws.
- Fucker's got a yacht and a island, James?Copy !req
1632. Fucking working for a villain
in a James Bond movie!Copy !req
1633. He's gonna make a run for it.Copy !req
1634. Not if Mayo can stop him.Copy !req
1635. Mayo and Chocolat.Copy !req
1636. - "Chocolat"?
- Chocolat.Copy !req
1637. - Is that supposed to be my nickname?
- That's your nickname.Copy !req
1638. I'll do better. We have the whole car ride.Copy !req
1639. Mayo and Coffee.Copy !req
1640. Mayo and Fudge.Copy !req
1641. - I don't want one. Just call me Darnell.
- Hit it, Fudge!Copy !req
1642. There it is. There's his boat.
The Sea Note.Copy !req
1643. The Sea Note? What a dick.Copy !req
1644. Come on.Copy !req
1645. Get down, James. You gotta get down.Copy !req
1646. - Are those guards?
- I think so.Copy !req
1647. - There's a lot of them.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1648. There's the computer.Copy !req
1649. I see it.Copy !req
1650. James, you gotta get low!Copy !req
1651. - Oh, no. They're getting ready to leave.
- Shit. We gotta jump.Copy !req
1652. All right.Copy !req
1653. - Get off my hand!
- Sorry, I'm nervous.Copy !req
1654. Let's go!Copy !req
1655. Darnell! I made it!Copy !req
1656. Let go of my face!Copy !req
1657. - That's all you, James. All you, James!
- Aah!Copy !req
1658. Okay. Come on, this way.Copy !req
1659. There it is.Copy !req
1660. Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Oh, shit!Copy !req
1661. Get off! Get off!Copy !req
1662. Get off.Copy !req
1663. Dammit.Copy !req
1664. This is the end, guys.Copy !req
1665. You going down.Copy !req
1666. That's great.
I spend my whole life in Crenshaw...Copy !req
1667. and now I'm about to get killed
by some white guy from Beverly Hills?Copy !req
1668. - On a yacht!
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1669. Hand over the computer, James.Copy !req
1670. Come on.
Just can't get it through your head?Copy !req
1671. Guys like you will always be the fall guy
because you're weak.Copy !req
1672. Are you okay?Copy !req
1673. James? James. No. James, please.Copy !req
1674. Goddamn, James.
Please, please, James.Copy !req
1675. I sentence you to 10 years
in a maximum security prison.Copy !req
1676. You about to get this:Copy !req
1677. Oh, they be fucking in San Quentin.Copy !req
1678. - In this house?
- Mouth full of balls.Copy !req
1679. - Come back, Mayo.
- Take it all.Copy !req
1680. When life puts a dick in your mouth,
you make dickade.Copy !req
1681. Go suck a dick.Copy !req
1682. Your capoeira's strong!Copy !req
1683. Now you must bring your power
into the world.Copy !req
1684. What? James. What are you doing?Copy !req
1685. I've been pushed around for too long.Copy !req
1686. Now it is time. I can feel it.Copy !req
1687. - Time for what, James?
- Protect the computer!Copy !req
1688. Shit! I don't want the computer!Copy !req
1689. Bênção kick!Copy !req
1690. Oh, God!Copy !req
1691. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1692. Leave me alone! Stop! No!Copy !req
1693. James! James!Copy !req
1694. All right, get down there. Come on.Copy !req
1695. Mayo and Chocolat, motherfuckers!Copy !req
1696. Aah! James, you mean to tell me
you could do this shit the whole time?Copy !req
1697. Capoeira must never be used
unless capoeira is required.Copy !req
1698. Let's go.Copy !req
1699. Motherfuckers!Copy !req
1700. Okay! Okay!Copy !req
1701. Come here!Copy !req
1702. That's what we do!Copy !req
1703. Mother...! Get off!Copy !req
1704. James.Copy !req
1705. Do like we used to do in the yard.Copy !req
1706. Yeah! You got it, James.Copy !req
1707. Fuck yeah, James. Get his ass, James.Copy !req
1708. God.Copy !req
1709. I got the computer.Copy !req
1710. - Lifeboat. Come on.
- All right.Copy !req
1711. Hey, that capoeira shit was amazing.Copy !req
1712. But you learned some of that shit
from me too. Right, James?Copy !req
1713. James. What's going on here?
What the hell did you do to my boat?Copy !req
1714. Man, fuck this boat!Copy !req
1715. We taking the evidence that you framed
your son-in-law with, sick son of a bitch.Copy !req
1716. How could you do this to me, Martin?
Ten years in prison?Copy !req
1717. James, you realize
that I didn't mean to hurt you.Copy !req
1718. I'm very fond of you,
but Himalayan Tiger tanked...Copy !req
1719. and I had to get the money from somewhere.
I had no choice. It was you or me.Copy !req
1720. That sounds like a choice!Copy !req
1721. James, fuck him. We're leaving.Copy !req
1722. And next time you wanna store
some fraud shit, get an iPad.Copy !req
1723. Come on, James.Copy !req
1724. - Oh, my damn.
- Alissa.Copy !req
1725. - James. Daddy, what's he doing here?
- It's fine, honey.Copy !req
1726. Uh, James.Copy !req
1727. I have a wonderful idea.
Why don't you come with us?Copy !req
1728. We'll start a whole new life in Cape Verde
and nobody has to go to prison.Copy !req
1729. Don't you want...Copy !req
1730. a big, big island?Copy !req
1731. - Were you in on this?
- No, not at first.Copy !req
1732. And when he told me about it,
I was really mad at him.Copy !req
1733. But then he explained how he was able
to hide most of the money...Copy !req
1734. so, really, there's no harm done.Copy !req
1735. James, now there's still time
to get everything you want.Copy !req
1736. Everything.Copy !req
1737. No! I don't want any of it.Copy !req
1738. - And you got a white girl's ass.
- Ah!Copy !req
1739. Thattaboy. Hey, James, do you wanna
switch off, man? I got nothing left up top.Copy !req
1740. - Quick, throw it in the Zodiac.
- Right. Then we can get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
1741. - Shit! Goddamn it!
- Aah!Copy !req
1742. I am genuinely sorry it
had to end this way.Copy !req
1743. When we clear the breakwater, shoot them.Copy !req
1744. You ain't got to do this, man.Copy !req
1745. You ain't got to do this.Copy !req
1746. Well, Dad, looks like you thought
of everything, didn't you?Copy !req
1747. You were always one step ahead of me.Copy !req
1748. Except you forgot one little detail.Copy !req
1749. Where'd that come from?Copy !req
1750. First rule in prison pat-downs:Copy !req
1751. Always check the anus.Copy !req
1752. Someone learned how to keister.Copy !req
1753. - Ew.
- That's right. Nuts and butts.Copy !req
1754. You point? Okay.
That's how you wanna do it?Copy !req
1755. You point at him. I'll point at Martin.Copy !req
1756. Either way. So if I die, Martin's going.Copy !req
1757. So you figure it out.
Shoot me, Martin gets shot.Copy !req
1758. Ball's in your court, Gayle.Copy !req
1759. - Alissa?
- Shoot her.Copy !req
1760. Shoot her.
You need to shoot that bitch anyway.Copy !req
1761. You're not gonna shoot me.Copy !req
1762. You're wasting time.
Police'll be here any second.Copy !req
1763. That's right.
We're talking the real police.Copy !req
1764. The ones that's gonna come here
on boats with sirens on them...Copy !req
1765. that's got dogs that can swim. Let me
tell you something about swimming dogs.Copy !req
1766. Now, let me tell you,
you're gonna bullshit a bullshitter...Copy !req
1767. just make the bullshit plausible.Copy !req
1768. This is the U. S. Marshall Service.
Prepare to be boarded.Copy !req
1769. You are carrying a fugitive.Copy !req
1770. Yes!Copy !req
1771. Heh. Hell yeah.Copy !req
1772. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1773. How?Copy !req
1774. Remember this bracelet
that crooked lawyer of yours gave me?Copy !req
1775. By my calculation
we should be well outside the county line.Copy !req
1776. Prison school's in session, bitch.Copy !req
1777. And somebody just graduated.Copy !req
1778. That's perfect. That's perfect.Copy !req
1779. That's great, right?Copy !req
1780. Attention Sea Note.
This is the U.S. Marshal Service.Copy !req
1781. - Where you going? Huh, Martin?
- Where you going?Copy !req
1782. What?Copy !req
1783. - Look at you, man!
- I know.Copy !req
1784. God, look at you!Copy !req
1785. Where did you put...? That was in your ass.
That was in your ass.Copy !req
1786. The computer proved I was innocent.Copy !req
1787. Martin was arrested for fraud, tampering
with evidence and obstruction of justice.Copy !req
1788. And I will be contacting my attorney. Daddy?Copy !req
1789. As for me, I was cleared of all
charges related to the embezzlement.Copy !req
1790. So I guess we did it.Copy !req
1791. Mayo and Chocolate.Copy !req
1792. - Heh.
- Thank God we won't be needing this anymore.Copy !req
1793. This illegal, unlicensed gun.Copy !req
1794. - Okay, you should really get rid of that thing.
- Gun!Copy !req
1795. - Drop it!
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
1796. I did end up getting six months
for carrying an unlicensed weapon.Copy !req
1797. But, thanks to Darnell, I was ready.Copy !req
1798. Prison is like life distilled
to its purest form.Copy !req
1799. Give respect to get respect.Copy !req
1800. But most of all, if you let someone fuck
with your food, you're a punk fuck bitch.Copy !req
1801. Someone should have told you
this Mayo went bad.Copy !req
1802. I'm gonna punch you in the fuck!Copy !req
1803. I'm gonna shit you!Copy !req
1804. Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock!Copy !req
1805. Martin didn't do as well.
But he learned a valuable lesson too.Copy !req
1806. They be fucking in San Quentin.Copy !req
1807. - How ya doing?
- A whole lot of fucking.Copy !req
1808. Hey! Open up. Open up.Copy !req
1809. Shonda visited me every day.Copy !req
1810. I never thought prison would be the place
I learned to love again...Copy !req
1811. but that's what happened.Copy !req
1812. No, no, no!
She's not done. She hasn't finished yet.Copy !req
1813. No, it's not what you think.
We're in love.Copy !req
1814. I helped the FBI find and return
all the assets Martin stole.Copy !req
1815. In return, they unfroze my bank accounts,
and I knew just where to invest my money.Copy !req
1816. It's good?Copy !req
1817. It's good, right?Copy !req
1818. Makayla, you proud of Daddy?Copy !req
1819. Daddy did good? Give me a hug.Copy !req
1820. Daddy, I like your car wash.Copy !req
1821. I'm glad you like it, sweetie.Copy !req
1822. I see you survived.Copy !req
1823. I guess you got hard, Mayo.Copy !req
1824. No. You made me hard.Copy !req
1825. Come here, man. Heh.Copy !req
1826. Aah!Copy !req
1827. You made me hard.Copy !req
1828. So hard.Copy !req
1829. You got me so hard.Copy !req
1830. I'm happy to see you too, big fella.
I'm happy to see you.Copy !req
1831. There was a moment
where I stopped being hard...Copy !req
1832. but I thought of you,
and it got me hard again.Copy !req
1833. And I can't ever thank you.Copy !req
1834. All right.Copy !req
1835. Welcome home, man.
Come on, let's get in the car.Copy !req
1836. You look good, James.Copy !req
1837. Welcome back to the free world, James.
How you wanna celebrate?Copy !req
1838. You know what I'd like to get my hands on?
A Wall Street Journal and a 40.Copy !req
1839. Now that'd be a perfect Sunday morning.Copy !req