1. Buenos dias, Cecelio!Copy !req
2. Sir, I'm just saying, your ad
says, "Bad credit, no problem."Copy !req
3. So can you define "no problem"?Copy !req
4. Because me not getting
this loan is a problem.Copy !req
5. I'm sorry. That's why
I'm asking you to...Copy !req
6. - Sorry, Daddy.
- That's okay, but that's just nasty.Copy !req
7. No, no, no. Not you, sir.Copy !req
8. Listen to this. What if I have
everything I need except the $30,000?Copy !req
9. Keep calm? Sir. Sir. Can you...?Copy !req
10. Ma'am. Okay. I couldn't tell.Copy !req
11. Aren't you supposed to be a
predatory lender? Then prey on me!Copy !req
12. Okay? You're a lion,
I'm a gazelle.Copy !req
13. Okay, fine. Fine. Do you know what?
I'm putting my daughter on the phone.Copy !req
14. Explain to her why she has to go to
school in a gangbanger school district...Copy !req
15. where they're murdering kids.
Murdering!Copy !req
16. Here, you tell her.Copy !req
17. Hey, baby, do what I showed you.Copy !req
18. - Why do you want me to get murdered?
- No.Copy !req
19. "Murdered. Why
do you want me to get murdered?"Copy !req
20. They hung up.Copy !req
21. Because you're
not doing what I told you to.Copy !req
22. - You are sick.
- I'm not sick. It's called desperate.Copy !req
23. Baby, all we have to
do is keep saving.Copy !req
24. I just need some love.
Can you just hug me?Copy !req
25. Just kiss me?Copy !req
26. - Any better?
- Awkward.Copy !req
27. Come on. Get your juice,
and your book bag.Copy !req
28. I told you to hit
the bull's-eye.Copy !req
29. How hard is it to cry, Makayla?Copy !req
30. "Murder.
Murder."Copy !req
31. Watch out.
Move, old man.Copy !req
32. Is that weed?Copy !req
33. Hey, I want you
to be safe, okay?Copy !req
34. Listen to me. Listen to me. You're
not gonna be at this school forever.Copy !req
35. Daddy's working on it.
I love you.Copy !req
36. - I love you too.
- All right.Copy !req
37. Don't worry. -Kind of hard
not to worry. You're my daughter.Copy !req
38. - Come on, dear.
- Hey, watch it!Copy !req
39. Matter of time. Matter of time.Copy !req
40. - I kick, James!
- Yeah.Copy !req
41. Move!Copy !req
42. - Hey, babe!
- Watch this, honey.Copy !req
43. Watch this.Copy !req
44. Whoo! Look at that kick!Copy !req
45. Good job, James!Copy !req
46. Oh...Copy !req
47. Good job, guys. We're all
working hard today. Mm.Copy !req
48. Ah...Copy !req
49. You looked good out
there, my big strong fiance.Copy !req
50. Jaoa says I need to focus on
bringing my power into the world.Copy !req
51. Fuck!Copy !req
52. Maybe I can help.Copy !req
53. You... are a great
man, James King.Copy !req
54. Do me on the new house.Copy !req
55. Did it get bigger?Copy !req
56. Yeah, it did, baby.Copy !req
57. It's the dick of a king.
It's your scepter.Copy !req
58. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
59. No, I mean the house.Copy !req
60. The king needs his
castle, James.Copy !req
61. Ten thousand square feet.Copy !req
62. Seven bedrooms.Copy !req
63. Two kitchens.Copy !req
64. Infinity pool.Copy !req
65. Is that a guesthouse
for the guesthouse?Copy !req
66. Well, in
case our guests have guests.Copy !req
67. And you have so
many friends, baby.Copy !req
68. Don't you, Mr. Popular?Copy !req
69. So powerful.Copy !req
70. So you don't think it's
too much house, do you?Copy !req
71. James, seriously?Copy !req
72. I mean, you wanna raise
a family in this house?Copy !req
73. - Well, yes.
- In this...Copy !req
74. ."house?Copy !req
75. No!Copy !req
76. No, this house is a shithole!Copy !req
77. Look...Copy !req
78. there's winners and
there's losers, James.Copy !req
79. It's what drives this country.Copy !req
80. All right? People look
at what you have...Copy !req
81. and they want it.Copy !req
82. They want your huge house.Copy !req
83. And they want...Copy !req
84. your hot, hot...
wife. So hot.Copy !req
85. - Who's the king?
- I am.Copy !req
86. Are you the king? How much
money you gonna make today?Copy !req
87. - Enough to choke a baby.
- That's right.Copy !req
88. - Yeah, are you a winner?
- Yes, I'm a winner.Copy !req
89. - Whose tits are these?
- They're my tits.Copy !req
90. These are the king's tits!Copy !req
91. - The king's titties.
- That's right.Copy !req
92. - Is it a king's dick?
- It's slightly above average.Copy !req
93. Yeah? You gotta stake
your claim, James.Copy !req
94. Yes! You gotta stake it!Copy !req
95. Stake my claim.Copy !req
96. Oh, come on, baby.
Do me like a billionaire!Copy !req
97. You. You, right
there, with the hat.Copy !req
98. I don't careCopy !req
99. Hey, boss man, did
you get that text?Copy !req
100. I sent you a text yesterday.Copy !req
101. Surprise!Copy !req
102. The boss is here.Copy !req
103. Maybe it's time that we act
like we got work to do.Copy !req
104. We got 40 cars and we got eight
hours of the air down here!Copy !req
105. James King, Wealthrop Funds.Copy !req
106. Transfer 100 million
from my client accounts.Copy !req
107. I'd like to put a buy order on
Bradway Chemical, up to 7.50.Copy !req
108. I've got a good feeling
about clean coal.Copy !req
109. Clean the roofs, Mike.Copy !req
110. You don't think people can see those?
I hired you to do one thing.Copy !req
111. That's be tall.Copy !req
112. All right, great job.Copy !req
113. Hey there, Jamesy, that
was quite a ride, man.Copy !req
114. That was like third
quarter 2012.Copy !req
115. It's a real pleasure to
watch you work, sir.Copy !req
116. Thanks, Leo.Copy !req
117. Yeah. How about that,
you knew my name!Copy !req
118. I love it.Copy !req
119. So I shorted gas and
went long on coal.Copy !req
120. It wasn't quite the return
I was hoping for, but...Copy !req
121. James.Copy !req
122. You made my company
$28 million today.Copy !req
123. Now, to celebrate, I would like to
give you an early wedding present...Copy !req
124. partner. - Ah.Copy !req
125. Sir, thank you.Copy !req
126. Gayle, a minute.Copy !req
127. James, this is the moment when
you cross that threshold...Copy !req
128. and join America's
most elite.Copy !req
129. Anything you desire,
anything you want is yours.Copy !req
130. I'm ready for it.Copy !req
131. You know, I bought an
island in Cape Verde.Copy !req
132. An entire island.Copy !req
133. You can too.Copy !req
134. I would love to. We could
be island neighbors.Copy !req
135. You could swim over and
borrow a cup of gold.Copy !req
136. Yeah.Copy !req
137. You know, and to think it
all started with this.Copy !req
138. I still have that computer.Copy !req
139. It reminds me of my
humble beginnings.Copy !req
140. How I built this company
with my own two hands.Copy !req
141. Just me, that computer...Copy !req
142. and an $8 million
loan from my father.Copy !req
143. You really did it
all on your own.Copy !req
144. Very inspiring, sir.Copy !req
145. Now, listen, I want you to
drop this "sir" nonsense.Copy !req
146. You are marrying my
daughter, for Pete's sake.Copy !req
147. I want you to call me "Dad."Copy !req
148. Really? Dad?Copy !req
149. - Mm-hm.
- Heh.Copy !req
150. That feels very good.Copy !req
151. My real father never
had time for me.Copy !req
152. He shipped me off to
boarding school inCopy !req
153. London with the Murdochs
and the bin Ladens.Copy !req
154. Of course, that was before...Copy !req
155. I mean, we knew they cheated
in soccer, but, had no idea...Copy !req
156. you know...Copy !req
157. But if I could choose a dad...Copy !req
158. Hey, you know something,
you're family now, kid.Copy !req
159. Okay, then.Copy !req
160. Oh, boy.Copy !req
161. Motherfucker.Copy !req
162. - Mr. King.
- Aah! Aah!Copy !req
163. Take whatever you want!Copy !req
164. - Please!
- It's the hood.Copy !req
165. - Hey! It's Darnell.
- Help!Copy !req
166. - Help! Help!
- Stop! Mr. King. No!Copy !req
167. - Oh, dear Lord. Someone help me!
- Stop it! You're being ridiculous!Copy !req
168. Stop! Look at me.Copy !req
169. It's me.Copy !req
170. I got your keys!Copy !req
171. Oh.Copy !req
172. Yes! I see you.Copy !req
173. I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to scare you.Copy !req
174. - Here you go.
- Oh.Copy !req
175. - I'm sorry.
- Thank you.Copy !req
176. And, uh, just so you know, I would have
done the same thing if you were white.Copy !req
177. That's good to know.Copy !req
178. Hey, Mr. King.Copy !req
179. Um...Copy !req
180. While I got you out here, I just wanna...
I just wanna talk to you for a second.Copy !req
181. I've been washing your
car for two years now...Copy !req
182. and I can tell you're the type of
man who likes the best of everything.Copy !req
183. So as owner and CEO of
Hollywood Luxury Bubbles...Copy !req
184. I wanted to offer you an exclusive
platinum lifetime wash card...Copy !req
185. for $30,000.Copy !req
186. Now, before you say anything...Copy !req
187. think about the type of money that
you'll save with this investment.Copy !req
188. Well, actually the time value
of money is such that...Copy !req
189. if I were to put that same
amount in my own fund...Copy !req
190. in 23 years' time, I'd
have in excess of $3 million.Copy !req
191. Wow. Yeah.Copy !req
192. With that rate of return, I could buy
a new car every time it gets dirty.Copy !req
193. - Isn't that impressive?
- Amazing, Mr. King.Copy !req
194. That's the magic of
compounded interest.Copy !req
195. You see, I didn't get to where I
am today by asking for handouts.Copy !req
196. But by hard work.Copy !req
197. And today, that hard
work paid off...Copy !req
198. as I was just named
partner in my firm.Copy !req
199. Mr. King, that is...Copy !req
200. - Hey. That is amazing.
- Thank you so much.Copy !req
201. - That is...
- Thank you.Copy !req
202. That's amazing. Mr.
King, listen to me.Copy !req
203. I'm one of the hardest
workers you'll ever meet.Copy !req
204. I mean, that's why I'm down here
power-washing cars every day.Copy !req
205. I just felt with this
face-to-face that you would...Copy !req
206. That you would wanna help a fellow
business owner and job creator.Copy !req
207. I am helping you. By saying no.Copy !req
208. - Mr. King, that's...
- That way, you can make it on your own.Copy !req
209. Okay. Mr. King, I have a lot of people
helping me that way already. And... And...Copy !req
210. Great. Then you have
a plan for success.Copy !req
211. Why didn't you tell me that?Copy !req
212. You see, everyone, whether
we're born rich or poor...Copy !req
213. or white... or
miscellaneous...Copy !req
214. who we become...Copy !req
215. is based on our own decisions.
It's simple as that.Copy !req
216. You know who else
started in a garage?Copy !req
217. Hewlett-Packard. So
you're in good company.Copy !req
218. - And on that note...
- No, Mister...Copy !req
219. You don't have to give
me that much, Mr. King.Copy !req
220. Hold on, hold on.Copy !req
221. - You don't have to give me that much.
- Hold on. There we go.Copy !req
222. You really don't need...
There you go.Copy !req
223. There's a start.Copy !req
224. Mr. King, please. I feel like
you just haven't given me...Copy !req
225. Success is a mindset!Copy !req
226. Hi, everyone!Copy !req
227. Hi.Copy !req
228. Thank you so much for celebrating
our engagement with us.Copy !req
229. Excuse me.Copy !req
230. Excuse me. Everyone, just "shh."Copy !req
231. Shh! You need to "shh." Senator.Copy !req
232. Shh! Shh.Copy !req
233. Yellow tie.Copy !req
234. I see you.Copy !req
235. Thank you.Copy !req
236. James, I love you...Copy !req
237. and I can't wait
to be married to you.Copy !req
238. Aw.Copy !req
239. And because you rock my world...Copy !req
240. I got you this!Copy !req
241. Oh!Copy !req
242. Hey! Wow.Copy !req
243. This is beautiful.Copy !req
244. - But not as beautiful as you, Alissa.
- Aw.Copy !req
245. - I love you.
- I love you.Copy !req
246. Being with you and in front of all
of our friends and family here...Copy !req
247. I just wanna say, I'm the
luckiest man in the world!Copy !req
248. Play something!Copy !req
249. - Oh.
- Oh, Oh.Copy !req
250. Well, actually, there's one
more part to your present!Copy !req
251. It's Mr. John Mayer!Copy !req
252. - John Mayer!
- Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
253. Hey, everybody!Copy !req
254. Who's John Mayer?Copy !req
255. I just wanna say, thank you, James
and Alissa, for making me...Copy !req
256. Shut up!Copy !req
257. a part of your special night.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
258. I wanna thank you personally
for the Bradway Chemical buy.Copy !req
259. Oh, sure. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
260. There's nothing I love
more than making money.Copy !req
261. Not even chicks. Or dudes.
I fuck anything.Copy !req
262. You ever seen 100 women get wet
at the same time? Watch this.Copy !req
263. Aw.Copy !req
264. Fathers, be
good to your daughters.Copy !req
265. Daughters will love like you do.Copy !req
266. Girls become lovers.Copy !req
267. Who turn into mothers.Copy !req
268. So, mothers Be good
to your daughters tooCopy !req
269. John, lay back. I'm
gonna take a few bars.Copy !req
270. Yeah.Copy !req
271. Hey! Step aside, FBI!
Back up!Copy !req
272. Everybody, step aside!Copy !req
273. - James King.
- Yeah?Copy !req
274. You're under arrest for 43 counts
of fraud and 30 counts of embezzlement.Copy !req
275. That's impossible.Copy !req
276. That's what they all say.
Get him out of here!Copy !req
277. I know. This is
some kind of joke.Copy !req
278. Because if this isn't, this is
the worst nightmare imaginable.Copy !req
279. Yeah! Ha-ha-ha. Finally.Copy !req
280. - Are you getting this?
- Shit, yeah! Get out of the way!Copy !req
281. I swear I don't know what
any of this is about!Copy !req
282. Mm-hm.Copy !req
283. Don't worry, son!
I'll take care of it.Copy !req
284. Let's go.Copy !req
285. - Gayle, call my lawyer.
- My party!Copy !req
286. Looks like you could use
a friend right now.Copy !req
287. What the fuck?Copy !req
288. The charges are securities
fraud and embezzlement.Copy !req
289. These transaction records
prove you're guilty.Copy !req
290. I've never seen these.
These are fakes!Copy !req
291. If you go to court, they're gonna
kick your ass. Take the plea.Copy !req
292. - Dad!
- Take the plea.Copy !req
293. You'll be out in a year and in
the best shape of your life.Copy !req
294. No. I have faith that the justice
system will exonerate me.Copy !req
295. And that the jury will put aside
their bias and see the truth.Copy !req
296. That I didn't steal
money from people.Copy !req
297. And that I am no Bernie Madoff.Copy !req
298. A verdict is expected today in the
"mini-Madoff" trial of James King.Copy !req
299. I lost everything! Fuck you!Copy !req
300. I didn't do it!Copy !req
301. For too long, wealthy
white-collar offenders like you...Copy !req
302. have gotten a free pass with light
sentences in minimum-security prison...Copy !req
303. while working Americans have suffered.
Well, that ends today, Mr. King.Copy !req
304. I sentence you to the
harshest penalty allowed.Copy !req
305. Ten years in a
maximum-security prison.Copy !req
306. You have 30 days to get
your affairs in order.Copy !req
307. Just run them over!Copy !req
308. I can't go to jail.
I'll die in there.Copy !req
309. That's not gonna happen, James, because
I'm gonna put my investigators...Copy !req
310. on this twenty-four-seven until
we find out who really did this.Copy !req
311. Just stay in county lines
with that thing on.Copy !req
312. Otherwise, the U.S. Marshals
will be down there pronto.Copy !req
313. Son, I want you to stay strong.
Do you hear me?Copy !req
314. I will.Copy !req
315. I'll be so strong for you, Dad.Copy !req
316. Why me?Copy !req
317. I have to leave the country!Copy !req
318. It took so long to ring
me up, I had to missCopy !req
319. my waxing appointment.
I feel like a gorilla.Copy !req
320. It's summer too.Copy !req
321. I can't believe
this is happening to me.Copy !req
322. It's like they don't
recognize you anymore.Copy !req
323. Thank you. Yes.Copy !req
324. Alissa!Copy !req
325. Hey! It's me, James.Copy !req
326. I know. What are you doing?Copy !req
327. Why do you look like that?Copy !req
328. Just eat your fucking salads.Copy !req
329. I'll fucking kill you
if you say anything.Copy !req
330. Hi.Copy !req
331. - Hi. Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
332. I came up with a great idea.Copy !req
333. Let's just run away! Some place that
no one would ever think to find us.Copy !req
334. Mexico.Copy !req
335. Let's just leave this
material world behind.Copy !req
336. Live in a one-bedroom shack.Copy !req
337. - Oh, God.
- Yes.Copy !req
338. - You could sell Chiclets on the road.
- What?Copy !req
339. Look, we'll work out
the details later.Copy !req
340. - We should get out of here.
- No!Copy !req
341. - I already cut off my ankle bracelet.
- No! No.Copy !req
342. Let's go.Copy !req
343. - James, no.
- What?Copy !req
344. - No! I'm leaving you.
- Why?Copy !req
345. But I thought you
loved me forever.Copy !req
346. Well, now you know.Copy !req
347. Alissa.Copy !req
348. This is the U.S.
Marshal Service.Copy !req
349. James King, exit the building and
surrender to custody immediately.Copy !req
350. Oh, shit!Copy !req
351. Hey, guys. He's in there.Copy !req
352. Why are you arresting me?Copy !req
353. I am but a
simple bartender from Belize.Copy !req
354. Wait, no. Mexico.Copy !req
355. Call my lawyer in Tijuana.Copy !req
356. Shit!Copy !req
357. - What the fuck is that? Get off!
- It's me! It's me!Copy !req
358. - Mr. King?
- Yes.Copy !req
359. You scared the shit
out of me, man.Copy !req
360. What you doing in the trunk?Copy !req
361. I just needed a
place to regroup.Copy !req
362. You know, fresh start.Copy !req
363. Okay. Hey. Let me
help you out, man.Copy !req
364. Fuck you, King!Copy !req
365. - I lost everything because of you!
- I didn't do it!Copy !req
366. Fuck!Copy !req
367. Fuck someone!Copy !req
368. Fuck a tit!Copy !req
369. Fuck a tit hard!Copy !req
370. For the love of Alan Greenspan.Copy !req
371. Fuck! My life is ruined.Copy !req
372. I venture you've heard
that I'm going to prison.Copy !req
373. Yeah. No, we all did. I just didn't
wanna bring it up first, that's all.Copy !req
374. Come on. They're probably sending
you to some Club Fed prison.Copy !req
375. You'll be playing tennis
and golf, you know.Copy !req
376. - I'm going to be attending San Quentin.
- They're sending you to San Quentin?Copy !req
377. Oh.Copy !req
378. - What?
- Oh, God!Copy !req
379. They fucking in San Quentin.Copy !req
380. - Oh.
- Everybody gets the dick.Copy !req
381. I don't want it.Copy !req
382. You're not gonna get it.
You'll be in for three months.Copy !req
383. I'm gonna be there for 10 years.Copy !req
384. Goddamn! Ten years?Copy !req
385. - Oh! Oh!
- Why do you say it like that?Copy !req
386. It's not as bad as
I've heard, is it?Copy !req
387. If you heard everybody fucking, it is.
That's how bad it is.Copy !req
388. I didn't hear that part.Copy !req
389. They might as well call
it San Fucking, man.Copy !req
390. I don't wish that on my worst enemy.
You talking about bad? That's bad.Copy !req
391. You should know.Copy !req
392. I'm sorry to remind you.Copy !req
393. What are you talking about?Copy !req
394. Well, the fact that
you went to prison.Copy !req
395. The fact that I went to prison?Copy !req
396. Yes. Look, you did your time.Copy !req
397. You paid your debt.
And we as society...Copy !req
398. should welcome you
back, and we do.Copy !req
399. You and I are exactly the same.Copy !req
400. Except you can't vote, ever.Copy !req
401. Just before I get to another level of
anger, Mr. King, tell me for giggles...Copy !req
402. how do you know I went to prison?
It's simple.Copy !req
403. Statistical analysis is what I do.
Here's the deal.Copy !req
404. One out of three
black men will findCopy !req
405. themselves incarcerated
during their lifetime.Copy !req
406. - Imagine a pizza, okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
407. There are three pieces.Copy !req
408. Three black pieces.Copy !req
409. One of those pieces of pizza will be thrown
in jail at some point during its life.Copy !req
410. You know what? Let me give
you my statistical analysis.Copy !req
411. You going to San Quentin.
There's 100 percent chance...Copy !req
412. that you're gonna be somebody's bitch.
Ten years of this.Copy !req
413. - You know what that is?
- Mm-mm.Copy !req
414. A big-ass black man on
your pale white ass.Copy !req
415. "No! I don't want any more!
Stop! That's enough."Copy !req
416. Too late. He done
tagged the next guy in.Copy !req
417. That's like a rabbit. You
don't want him no more...Copy !req
418. so now here comes the guy
that wants to rub your face.Copy !req
419. "I like his hair."
He's breathing on you.Copy !req
420. That's disgusting. But guess what? You
can look forward to 10 years of it!Copy !req
421. What if I speak to all the
bitches and we organize...Copy !req
422. form a union, and we put our
feet down and say, "Enough!"Copy !req
423. - There's gotta be more of us than them.
- There's not.Copy !req
424. You deserve everything you're getting.
Good luck on survival, sir.Copy !req
425. Better luck on
handling yourself!Copy !req
426. Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't leave. Don't
leave, please. I could use your help.Copy !req
427. Help you with what?Copy !req
428. Help me to not be
someone's bitch.Copy !req
429. You expect me to help you? I'm
supposed to teach you what?Copy !req
430. How to prevent this:Copy !req
431. - All right, stop.
- You could train me.Copy !req
432. You could be the
Athena to my Odysseus.Copy !req
433. I don't even know what
the fuck that is, man!Copy !req
434. I could pay you.Copy !req
435. Whatever it takes.Copy !req
436. I need $30,000.Copy !req
437. Done. OhCopy !req
438. Okay.Copy !req
439. Yup. Yeah.Copy !req
440. - Fantastic.
- All right.Copy !req
441. What are you doing?Copy !req
442. I only know these two.Copy !req
443. What are you trying to do?Copy !req
444. - Shake? You wanna shake my hand?
- Oh, regular.Copy !req
445. - It's a deal. We got a deal.
- Excellent.Copy !req
446. - Thank you, Darnell.
- I'll see you in the morning, convict.Copy !req
447. What are you doing?
What is that?Copy !req
448. - Trying to do this thing.
- No.Copy !req
449. - Shake. It's fine.
- Okay.Copy !req
450. Mr. King, no. I got that.Copy !req
451. - All right. No problem.
- I appreciate it.Copy !req
452. I appreciate it.Copy !req
453. Oh.Copy !req
454. Yes! Thank you!Copy !req
455. Thank you, Jesus!Copy !req
456. I knew it! I knew
my day would come.Copy !req
457. I'm getting the house. Unh!Copy !req
458. Babe. This does not
make any sense.Copy !req
459. Why would he hire you?Copy !req
460. - Because he thinks I went to prison, babe.
- That's the part I don't get.Copy !req
461. - Why would you tell him that?
- I didn't. He assumed that.Copy !req
462. - He assumed it?
- Yes!Copy !req
463. So what reason did you give him
to assume that you went to jail?Copy !req
464. I was being black.Copy !req
465. - This is nuts.
- Okay. I don't get what's nuts to you.Copy !req
466. In 30 days, we'll have the money, the
house will be ours. What is the problem?Copy !req
467. The problem is he is never going
to believe that you went to jail.Copy !req
468. Look, babe. I am your wife, so
I will put it to you straight.Copy !req
469. You are not exactly a thug.Copy !req
470. I don't have to be a thug
to portray a thug. Okay?Copy !req
471. Honestly, all I gotta do is change
my voice, talk a little deeper.Copy !req
472. Talk like this and be
every stereotype he already thinks I am.Copy !req
473. Right now, I'm thugging.
This is thugging.Copy !req
474. You're so good at it, sweetie.Copy !req
475. Have a good night.Copy !req
476. - Bitch! Don't walk away from me!
- What the hell did you just say to me?Copy !req
477. - Girl, stop. Stop!
- What is wrong with you?Copy !req
478. What is that? I love you!
I was playing!Copy !req
479. - Bitch.
- What?Copy !req
480. - I didn't say nothing!
- Oh.Copy !req
481. Man, I didn't say nothing.Copy !req
482. You wanna watch The Notebook?Copy !req
483. - I love you and Makayla.
- Yeah, I love you too. Good night.Copy !req
484. You've reached
the mailbox of Martin Clark.Copy !req
485. Please leave a message
after the tone.Copy !req
486. Hi, Dad?Copy !req
487. It's James.Copy !req
488. Just wondering if there's any
word from the investigators.Copy !req
489. I still love you.Copy !req
490. Thank you. Bye.Copy !req
491. Now, I heard a crazy story about you.
This guy James King?Copy !req
492. And I heard that you played at
the party where he got arrested.Copy !req
493. Yeah. I had no idea that I was
performing for a monster.Copy !req
494. I don't know how to explain what it's like
to take money from someone like that.Copy !req
495. It makes you wanna give
it back to them...Copy !req
496. except that would be worse
because then they'd have it.Copy !req
497. And it's that whole helpless
feeling that I haveCopy !req
498. about our creative process
being monetized...Copy !req
499. and that's what inspired
me to write this song...Copy !req
500. which is actually available
on iTunes tonight at midnight.Copy !req
501. - If I can play it.
- Great.Copy !req
502. I can't
see through walls.Copy !req
503. And I can't read your mind.Copy !req
504. But if I did I'd find.Copy !req
505. That man James King
is a great big turd.Copy !req
506. I mean the small, small kinds.Copy !req
507. But that **** James.Copy !req
508. Will fall Hands against
the prison wall.Copy !req
509. Choking on a mouthful of balls.Copy !req
510. He'll be choking on
A mouthful of ballsCopy !req
511. I hate to admit it,
but it's a good song.Copy !req
512. Okay, very nice.
John Mayer, everybody.Copy !req
513. Now I'm gonna be
dreaming about balls.Copy !req
514. Hey, Russell.Copy !req
515. It's Darnell.Copy !req
516. Your cousin. Your
cousin, Darnell, man.Copy !req
517. Hey, listen, Russell...Copy !req
518. how would you like to make $500 just
for telling me what prison was like.Copy !req
519. Well, I don't wanna say that. Russell,
I shouldn't have to say that.Copy !req
520. For what? What is...?Copy !req
521. Fine. Fine.Copy !req
522. I'm a Cliff Huxtable
pussy-looking motherfucker.Copy !req
523. No! I'm not even wearing khakis.Copy !req
524. Russell, can you please
just help me, what I'mCopy !req
525. asking you for? Just start
from the beginning.Copy !req
526. No, no. Like, the beginning, the beginning.
Like, the first day of prison.Copy !req
527. On the first day?Copy !req
528. Oh. There's no warm-up?Copy !req
529. That's sad.Copy !req
530. Russell, I'm sorry, did
I just hear a gunshot?Copy !req
531. You gotta go. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
532. Ready, mother...?
Ready, mother...?Copy !req
533. That's it, that's it. Ahem.Copy !req
534. Coming!Copy !req
535. Rita, Makayla, new
house, good school.Copy !req
536. You ready, motherfucker?Copy !req
537. Just a second!Copy !req
538. Hello?Copy !req
539. - You ready, motherfucker?
- Aah!Copy !req
540. - Oh, it burns!
- Pepper spray, bitch!Copy !req
541. You
always be on guard, okay?Copy !req
542. On the inside, there's somebody
on every corner to fuck you up!Copy !req
543. Prison school is in session, bitch!
You already failing.Copy !req
544. I'm so glad I hired you.
This is just what I need.Copy !req
545. Okay. What's next?Copy !req
546. What the...? How many
motherfuckers live here?Copy !req
547. All right. Let's get started.Copy !req
548. This right here is my
prison readiness program.Copy !req
549. If you follow this guide and do exactly
what I say you will survive in prison.Copy !req
550. "Keistering."Copy !req
551. - What's keistering?
- Slow down! You ain't ready for that.Copy !req
552. You're the teacher.Copy !req
553. And I just want you to
know I'll do whateverCopy !req
554. it takes to survive
and get my life back.Copy !req
555. That's good, because let
me tell you something:Copy !req
556. You're gonna have to work harder
than you ever worked before.Copy !req
557. Back when I was in Harvard Business School,
I was facing some pretty long odds.Copy !req
558. But I buckled down
and I succeeded.Copy !req
559. When you was at Harvard, did you
ever get raped for failing a test?Copy !req
560. I think that's more
of a Yale thing.Copy !req
561. - "Yale."
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
562. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
563. Now from this point on, this
ain't your house no more.Copy !req
564. - This San Quentin! You understand me?
- Okay.Copy !req
565. From now on
this will be your cell.Copy !req
566. You do not leave this room
without my permission.Copy !req
567. It's good.Copy !req
568. - For you to sleep on, Señor.
- Go on, we ain't got time for games.Copy !req
569. Go upstairs, turn this
place into prison.Copy !req
570. It will be our pleasure to repay
you for your many kindnesses.Copy !req
571. Put that in there in front of
the statues with the dicks.Copy !req
572. James, listen to me.Copy !req
573. The key to survival in prison lies
in the following simple questions.Copy !req
574. Are you hard? And can
you handle yourself?Copy !req
575. Well, this is a rare moment
for optimism becauseCopy !req
576. the answer to that
is a resounding yes.Copy !req
577. That's good. Let me see what
your mad-dog face look like.Copy !req
578. - I'm sorry. What's a mad dog?
- You a mad dog!Copy !req
579. - Oh, shit.
- What's your what, nigga?Copy !req
580. - Take whatever you want!
- Let me see that!Copy !req
581. No!Copy !req
582. - Stop! I beg of you!
- Like a pit bull with no leash.Copy !req
583. That's a mad dog.Copy !req
584. Wow. I knew you were the
right guy for the job.Copy !req
585. In prison, a mad-dog face is essential to
your survival. Do you understand me, James?Copy !req
586. So the idea is that I
make a face that conveysCopy !req
587. the fact that I'd have
no problem hurting you.Copy !req
588. Exactly what it is. Now, convey that shit.
Let me see it.Copy !req
589. Okay. Ahem.Copy !req
590. Ha!Copy !req
591. - That's terrible.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
592. No, that's horrible, man. Anger.
You gotta show me anger.Copy !req
593. Why you smiling?Copy !req
594. I'm not smiling. I'm
tense and I'm agitated.Copy !req
595. Come on, man!Copy !req
596. - Unh!
- That's your mad... That's it?Copy !req
597. - Your fiancée left you.
- That's right!Copy !req
598. - You happy about that?
- No.Copy !req
599. Then get mad! She gonna leave you?
What is she doing?Copy !req
600. She probably on her knees sucking somebody
dick in the back seat of a truck.Copy !req
601. Show...Copy !req
602. James.Copy !req
603. Oh. Oh. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
604. - I miss her so much.
- What the fuck are you doing, James?Copy !req
605. I'm sad-dogging you.Copy !req
606. James?Copy !req
607. You think that's a
strategy that could work?Copy !req
608. No. I don't think it's a
strategy that could work.Copy !req
609. Hey, listen up, everyone.
I'm extremely sad.Copy !req
610. Please don't sexually assault me.
I'm already too sad.Copy !req
611. Hey, fellas. My heart's
already been raped.Copy !req
612. I don't wanna do this anymore.
Let's move on. Okay?Copy !req
613. We're moving on from the mad dog.
James, can you fight?Copy !req
614. Absolutely.Copy !req
615. What?Copy !req
616. You had to change your
clothes for this?Copy !req
617. What the fuck are
you doing, man?Copy !req
618. It's called capoeira.Copy !req
619. It's a Brazilian martial art.Copy !req
620. But don't be fooled by
its beauty and grace.Copy !req
621. It's actually quite deadly.Copy !req
622. This is deadly?Copy !req
623. That's deadly?Copy !req
624. - Stab.
- Ow.Copy !req
625. - Stab.
- Stop.Copy !req
626. - Stab. Stab.
- Guards! Guards!Copy !req
627. - Stabbity-stab, stab, stab!
- Ow. Ow!Copy !req
628. The fuck are you doing, man?Copy !req
629. Shit ain't gonna save
you in San Quentin!Copy !req
630. Well, that may not, but you
haven't seen my Béngéo kick.Copy !req
631. - Your what?
- My Béngéo kick.Copy !req
632. Look what your dumb ass done did.
Stab.Copy !req
633. - Stab.
- I'm dead.Copy !req
634. Stab, stab, stab, stab.Copy !req
635. You're so bad.Copy !req
636. James. I gotta tell ya. I just can't
imagine what you must be going through.Copy !req
637. It is so nice to talk to you.Copy !req
638. What's the latest from the
investigators? - The investigators?Copy !req
639. - Chinese hackers. They're pretty sure.
- Hey!Copy !req
640. I know I'm not crazy. Didn't I tell you
to get off the phone? Get off the phone.Copy !req
641. - Hey, who are you talking to?
- It's Darnell. He's helping me.Copy !req
642. Your time is up!Copy !req
643. - I gotta go. I'll call you back.
- Hang it up!Copy !req
644. - If I get more phone time.
- Hang it up!Copy !req
645. That was important to me!Copy !req
646. When you got a line of inmates
waiting to use the phone...Copy !req
647. you do not wanna
piss them off, James.Copy !req
648. I'm going to fuck you up, Mr.
James!Copy !req
649. Rosa!Copy !req
650. You watch your back on the yard.Copy !req
651. I'm not a puto.Copy !req
652. Great.Copy !req
653. - All right. We got a problem.
- What's that?Copy !req
654. James is talking to somebody.Copy !req
655. No, no, he trusts you.Copy !req
656. - He'll never put two and two together.
- No, stop it!Copy !req
657. - This is your fault!
- What?Copy !req
658. Well, you couldn't get him
to take the plea deal.Copy !req
659. Instead of him going
to prison, you got himCopy !req
660. 30 days to be out there,
running around...Copy !req
661. fucking things up!Copy !req
662. I had to make it look good.
You throw a fight,Copy !req
663. you don't go down in the first round.
It's fine.Copy !req
664. I don't want him out there,
playing detective with somebody.Copy !req
665. You keep an eye on my ex-future
son-in-law, would ya?Copy !req
666. - And find out who this Darnell is.
- I'm on it. Right away.Copy !req
667. There you go.Copy !req
668. All right, James. Look, you're gonna
get in a fight on the inside. Okay?Copy !req
669. You don't need to win, but you
need to show these guys...Copy !req
670. that you're not afraid
to fight back.Copy !req
671. gotta get used to fighting. See
those guys over there?Copy !req
672. - Yes.
- Go over there and fight one of them.Copy !req
673. That's insane!Copy !req
674. They're behemoths. They
would break my spine.Copy !req
675. Those are the type of guys
you're gonna see in San Quentin.Copy !req
676. So you gotta shake that fear.
I want you toCopy !req
677. go over there and punch that big-ass
dude in the mouth.Copy !req
678. Oh, my God. My
heart is pounding.Copy !req
679. Okay.Copy !req
680. Hey, guys.Copy !req
681. Who the fuck are you, man?Copy !req
682. I wanna fight you.Copy !req
683. What?Copy !req
684. You picked the wrong day
to come to the park.Copy !req
685. - Is this some kind of joke, man?
- You ever been mad-dogged before?Copy !req
686. You about to get some
right now, motherfucker.Copy !req
687. What the fuck is that, man?Copy !req
688. It's the size of your dick.Copy !req
689. I'm gonna break it
off, make you eat it.Copy !req
690. You fuck your mother
with that dick?Copy !req
691. How do you know my mama?
You don't know my mama.Copy !req
692. Oh, no.Copy !req
693. Aah! Aah! Aah! Come on!Copy !req
694. Get him! Get him!Copy !req
695. Get back here, bitch!Copy !req
696. Oh, no! Please don't hurt my body!
Aah!Copy !req
697. No! My body!Copy !req
698. Help me!Copy !req
699. You're breaking my spine!Copy !req
700. What happened to
my tennis court?Copy !req
701. You will no longer refer
to this area as a tennisCopy !req
702. court. From this point
on, this is the yard.Copy !req
703. Understand something, James. The yard
is the most deadliest part of prison.Copy !req
704. It's where you get your
few precious minutesCopy !req
705. of fresh air and sunlight.
Understand?Copy !req
706. Fresh air.Copy !req
707. How many times did I
breathe in clean air,Copy !req
708. fragrant with lavender,
and take it for granted?Copy !req
709. James, I don't give a fuck how many times.
I don't give a shit.Copy !req
710. - I'm just saying.
- Shut up, James.Copy !req
711. You gotta step carefully because
if you step in the wrong place...Copy !req
712. you'll end up in the wrong territory.
For a person like you that can't fight...Copy !req
713. it's not a good thing, James.
It's not a good thing at all.Copy !req
714. Right now, you in the
brothers-only section.Copy !req
715. You got two seconds to
get your white ass out.Copy !req
716. - Before you get mollywhopped.
- Okay, Darnell.Copy !req
717. - Who's Darnell?
- You are.Copy !req
718. My name is Leroy!Copy !req
719. Yeah, I suggest you walk, white boy.
Walk!Copy !req
720. All right. I'm walking.Copy !req
721. - Turn around and walk!
- I'm walking.Copy !req
722. - Hey, ése.
- What?Copy !req
723. - You got a problem, gringo?
- Darnell, what are you doing?Copy !req
724. Darnell? Who's Darnell, ése?
You're looking at Carlos.Copy !req
725. I suggest you walk wherever you came
from, ése, before you have a problem.Copy !req
726. - I was trying to leave that area.
- You need to go back...Copy !req
727. over there with the negros, ése.
With Leroy?Copy !req
728. You go back over there with the negros!
That's where you belong.Copy !req
729. - I don't see anyone.
- You belong with the Negros.Copy !req
730. - Go.
- I'm going.Copy !req
731. Fuck
you calling a negro?Copy !req
732. He was. I wasn't.Copy !req
733. I told you, Carlos! Keep that
shit over there on your side!Copy !req
734. - Take the Yankee with you!
- I'll go with you!Copy !req
735. Hey, I don't want him.Copy !req
736. He's a negro lover.
You take him.Copy !req
737. Motherfucker!
Say something else, bro!Copy !req
738. Hey! Hey, I swear to
God. I swear to God, I'll cut you, ése.Copy !req
739. - Let's just shake hands.
- There is no shaking hands, gringo.Copy !req
740. - Friendship.
- Go back where you belong.Copy !req
741. I don't know where I belong.Copy !req
742. Leave him alone.
I'll keep him.Copy !req
743. You belong with me.Copy !req
744. - Who are you?
- I'm Dante.Copy !req
745. Why don't you leave him alone, Carlos!
Leave him alone, Leroy!Copy !req
746. - Are you a woman?
- I am if you want me to be.Copy !req
747. I don't want that.Copy !req
748. - Okay, I know what you are.
- Let me hold your pocket.Copy !req
749. - Let me hold your pocket.
- All right.Copy !req
750. I claimed him! He mine, Leroy!Copy !req
751. Bitch, you got two
seconds to let his fucking pocket go. Two!Copy !req
752. - Motherfucker! You got two seconds!
- Don't hit a woman!Copy !req
753. - Gonna knock your ass out!
- Don't hit a woman!Copy !req
754. You
don't want my pocket.Copy !req
755. You don't want it. So what?
Why can't I be happy?Copy !req
756. Hey, ése.
I don't like youCopy !req
757. and this domestic shit
in front of my crew.Copy !req
758. You think I like it?Copy !req
759. You need to fucking take it
somewhere else, ése, huh?Copy !req
760. Gringo, you take you and
your dirty bitch elsewhere.Copy !req
761. I'll go over there.Copy !req
762. Don't
call me dirty, Carlos.Copy !req
763. I wasn't dirty when you was up in it.
I wasn't dirty then, was I?Copy !req
764. You were dirty then.
You're dirty now bitch.Copy !req
765. So what? So what?
He ain't complaining.Copy !req
766. You should get tested.Copy !req
767. No, I'm not complaining because we have
yet to have any sort of interaction.Copy !req
768. - Tonight will be our night.
- No. Tonight won't happen.Copy !req
769. - Be my white knight. Save me.
- Don't get your hopes up.Copy !req
770. Let me ride you. Let me
ride you into safety.Copy !req
771. No! I don't feel comfortable with that.
Let go of me! Leroy is going to be upset.Copy !req
772. - I knew you were coming back.
- Motherfucker!Copy !req
773. I knew you were coming back.Copy !req
774. You making me mad, motherfucker!Copy !req
775. - I'm not doing anything!
- I'm about to whoop your ass, white boy!Copy !req
776. - I'm just standing here.
- No, you not. You got my bitch!Copy !req
777. - Trying to figure out a place...
- I'm your old bitch.Copy !req
778. We're like zebras.Copy !req
779. - We're not like a zebra.
- We are like a zebra. You're my...Copy !req
780. Somehow you're getting me to hug you,
and I don't know how that's happening.Copy !req
781. That's it!
That's it, gringo.Copy !req
782. I swear to God, I'm getting sick
of this shit. I'll stab you.Copy !req
783. I'm still confused as to what piece
you are in this puzzle, Carlos.Copy !req
784. Hold on! Hold on.
Question, question.Copy !req
785. Are there any French gangs?Copy !req
786. I speak French. I'm not
fluent, but I can...Copy !req
787. Can I join the
gang, s'il vous plaît?Copy !req
788. You know what, James?
You can't fight. Since you can't fight...Copy !req
789. I'm left with one choice, and that's
to get your stupid ass in shape.Copy !req
790. God! You're failing.Copy !req
791. I've got a state-of-the-art
gym 40 feet away.Copy !req
792. Ain't no gyms in San Quentin.Copy !req
793. Curl me, bitch! Curl me!Copy !req
794. Maybe I should start with
a baby at higher reps.Copy !req
795. Hey! Hey, you!Copy !req
796. - I wanna fight you.
- What'd you say, dickhead?Copy !req
797. I wanna fight you, asshole.Copy !req
798. Let's just rest here.Copy !req
799. Look at his face. He looks like
he's getting fucked right now.Copy !req
800. Come on!Copy !req
801. You better not drop me!
Goddamn it!Copy !req
802. Excuse me, sir. I hate to bother
you, but I need to fight you.Copy !req
803. I was in Nam!Copy !req
804. And I fucking loved it!Copy !req
805. James, you gotta throw
something back!Copy !req
806. Darnell!Copy !req
807. Oh.Copy !req
808. Save me!Copy !req
809. Attention
inmates, lockdown in five minutes.Copy !req
810. And don't try any stupid shit.Copy !req
811. What
did they do to my yard?Copy !req
812. No prison can hold James King.Copy !req
813. - We got a runner. Mr. James is running!
- Oh, fuck me!Copy !req
814. You're in my world now, bitch!Copy !req
815. Mother... Shit!Copy !req
816. You're never getting out alive!
Ha, ha.Copy !req
817. Fuck a bag of tits!Copy !req
818. Release the dogs!Copy !req
819. What? Dogs?Copy !req
820. There's nowhere to run, Mr.
James.Copy !req
821. You don't know when to quit, Mr.
James.Copy !req
822. You couldn't get past Cecelio
and some Chihuahuas.Copy !req
823. Tell me how you gonna escape San Quentin.
Stop wasting my time, James.Copy !req
824. That's what happens when you try
to jump a fence illegally. Hm?Copy !req
825. Your training's not
going well, man.Copy !req
826. Frankly, I don't feel like
you're giving me 100 percent.Copy !req
827. And as your incarceration
expert, that concerns me.Copy !req
828. Because it's my job
to prepare you.Copy !req
829. Fortunately, I got a plan.Copy !req
830. Oh, thank God. Oh, that's good.Copy !req
831. - You're gonna learn how to suck dick.
- What?Copy !req
832. Oh, God.Copy !req
833. Listen up. I said I want you
to learn how to suck dick.Copy !req
834. I heard you!Copy !req
835. - That's your plan?
- Yes.Copy !req
836. All I'm saying is that when life puts a
dick in your mouth, you make dickade.Copy !req
837. "Dickade" doesn't sound like a
significant improvement over dick.Copy !req
838. Bottom line, James! I know
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
839. - We're talking about survival.
- I understand.Copy !req
840. - Because that's how you survived. Right?
- No, you shut your mouth. No, it is not.Copy !req
841. I survived with these.Copy !req
842. - Dual hand jobs.
- No. No! I kill with these.Copy !req
843. That's the difference between me and you.
Hence, why you need to suck a dick.Copy !req
844. Come on, man.Copy !req
845. Where am I gonna
find someone who...?Copy !req
846. We're at the lvars Brasserie.Copy !req
847. Look around you.Copy !req
848. This is L.A.'s number-one
gay hookup scene.Copy !req
849. Voted "Flirtiest Brunch"
three years in a row.Copy !req
850. What do I say? What
do I literally say?Copy !req
851. You say, "I wanna suck
your dick." Politely.Copy !req
852. Hey, hi. I'm James. You mind if
I could give you a little head?Copy !req
853. - Hey, I'm James.
- I wanna suck your dick.Copy !req
854. - I wanna suck your dick.
- There you go! Just dive in!Copy !req
855. - That's what they do.
- What if someone says no?Copy !req
856. He ain't gonna say no.
It's a scientific fact.Copy !req
857. According to who?Copy !req
858. Dickapedia! Why do you care?Copy !req
859. - Is that a real site?
- No. James, it's a... Get up.Copy !req
860. You're gonna go to that bar. That guy.
That guy right there.Copy !req
861. Get up, go over there, and politely
ask that man can you suck his dick.Copy !req
862. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe
I'm about to do this.Copy !req
863. Survival.Copy !req
864. Go survive.Copy !req
865. All right. I'll just go do it.Copy !req
866. Yes, go do it.Copy !req
867. Okay.Copy !req
868. Come on. Are we
doing this or not, okay?Copy !req
869. Yes, we're
definitely doing it.Copy !req
870. Hey, I was nervous the first
time I did karaoke, right?Copy !req
871. Just get up there and sing.Copy !req
872. This is terrible foreplay.
Come on.Copy !req
873. - I'm gonna put it in my mouth.
- Yeah.Copy !req
874. I'm gonna suck your di...
Your di...Copy !req
875. I'm gonna suck your di...Copy !req
876. That's what we're here for.Copy !req
877. I'll gonna put your di... in my mouth.
I'm gonna give you he...Copy !req
878. Facial.Copy !req
879. Down the hatch! Heh.Copy !req
880. Eating alone?Copy !req
881. I just thought you could
use some company.Copy !req
882. Oh... Oh.Copy !req
883. Okay, I see what this is.Copy !req
884. You think that you
can get with me?Copy !req
885. Interesting topic
of conversation.Copy !req
886. Wait. No. That wasn't a
sit-down invitation.Copy !req
887. - You're like a 6.
- Thank you.Copy !req
888. No, it's not a compliment. That's
not a good number. I'm like a 9.Copy !req
889. If I were to get
into this game...Copy !req
890. - You know, the gay game...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
891. By the way, the gay game
is a game you can win.Copy !req
892. No, it's not, because I don't wanna play.
I'm saying "if."Copy !req
893. There's a spot on the bench for
you, if you decide to join.Copy !req
894. No, I'm not on the bench, man.Copy !req
895. Okay, starter! Heh.Copy !req
896. I'm not gay, man.Copy !req
897. I'm here, supporting a friend,
doing some gay stuff.Copy !req
898. I'm sorry. My name is Chris. It's short
for Christmas Came Early This Year.Copy !req
899. Where are you at, man?Copy !req
900. Come on, man.Copy !req
901. This is gonna help
me in the long run.Copy !req
902. - Here. Right there.
- Don't point it at me.Copy !req
903. Hey! Have fun with it, right?Copy !req
904. - Have fun with it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
905. - Come on.
- Three, two, one! In the mouth!Copy !req
906. Look, you're gonna
find you someone, man.Copy !req
907. You just gotta set your sights on
something more realistic, you know?Copy !req
908. You gotta think long-term.
Think about the relationship.Copy !req
909. Who are you gonna raise
that Chinese baby with?Copy !req
910. - I don't know.
- Hm?Copy !req
911. Who are you gonna restore
that Airstream camper with?Copy !req
912. Who are you gonna drive
across county and openCopy !req
913. that bed-and-breakfast
in New Hampshire with?Copy !req
914. - This is what I need to hear.
- Yes! Yes.Copy !req
915. I can't do it. I really tried. I
just can't! You have to train me.Copy !req
916. It's my last chance.Copy !req
917. You ready to train harder
than you've ever trained?Copy !req
918. Because once we go,
we do not hold back.Copy !req
919. We do it! And we do it hard!Copy !req
920. Are you ready to get hard?Copy !req
921. I am ready. I'm
ready to get hard!Copy !req
922. - You're gonna show me you can get hard!
- I'm gonna show you!Copy !req
923. I'm gonna get so hard! Because
I'm gonna show you how hard!Copy !req
924. That's what I wanna hear. Then
let's go home and get hard.Copy !req
925. I want what they have.Copy !req
926. Yeah!Copy !req
927. Yeah, James!Copy !req
928. Yeah!Copy !req
929. Unh! Yeah!Copy !req
930. That's what I'm talking about!Copy !req
931. - Ugh.
- Sho'enough!Copy !req
932. Fear of dick-sucking will
give a man strength.Copy !req
933. Fuck you.Copy !req
934. Fuck cock!Copy !req
935. Shit!Copy !req
936. Hey, back off! You better get those tits
out of my face! Or I'll show you my tits!Copy !req
937. - What are you doing?
- Working on my trash talk.Copy !req
938. You know, to get respect
from the other inmates.Copy !req
939. Let me hear some of it.Copy !req
940. All right. Ahem.Copy !req
941. Hey, pal. I'm about to
tear you a new ass.Copy !req
942. You gonna have to do a little
better than that, James.Copy !req
943. Hey, I'm about to
tear you a new ass.Copy !req
944. And sew up your old ass!Copy !req
945. Okay. All right.Copy !req
946. I'm gonna punch you in the fuck!Copy !req
947. I'm gonna make you
my bitch's bitch!Copy !req
948. You're gonna be my grand-bitch!Copy !req
949. Yeah. You're about to
20 likes on lnstafuck.Copy !req
950. If I see you around here again, I'm
gonna put a hashtag on your ass.Copy !req
951. And see how many hits it gets.Copy !req
952. - Hmm?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
953. Hope you brought your Costco card, because
you're about to get dick in bulk!Copy !req
954. What? This is so dark.Copy !req
955. How does a prix fixe dinner of
five courses of dick sound?Copy !req
956. - You eat organic?
- What?Copy !req
957. How about fresh farm-to-table,
a purée of my balls!Copy !req
958. Yeah. Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock!
Hmm?Copy !req
959. Okay. All right, man.Copy !req
960. Where is this stuff
coming from, James?Copy !req
961. Hey, son. You're a
disappointment to your parents.Copy !req
962. Who I fucked!Copy !req
963. Oh, shit.Copy !req
964. James, this is sick. You gotta
be crazy to think of this.Copy !req
965. That crazy is good.Copy !req
966. Thank you. I've got
about six hours more.Copy !req
967. That's good, James.
That's really good.Copy !req
968. I like that. I like that a lot.Copy !req
969. I hope you brought your dick punch-card
because the eighth dick is free.Copy !req
970. Stab!Copy !req
971. Shit! Okay.Copy !req
972. That's not bad, James.Copy !req
973. That's not bad at all.Copy !req
974. Progress.Copy !req
975. Peter piper picked a
peck of pickled cocks!Copy !req
976. Yes.Copy !req
977. Hey, hey, hey! You ready
to get to work today?Copy !req
978. Huh?Copy !req
979. - Hello.
- What's all this stuff?Copy !req
980. Oh, these are shanks.Copy !req
981. Or "shivs."Copy !req
982. In Scotland, they're
referred to as "chibs."Copy !req
983. In fact, I made
this one for you.Copy !req
984. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
985. Just to say thank you
for all the hard work.Copy !req
986. Oh, man.Copy !req
987. That's nice. That's cool.Copy !req
988. Whoa, whoa. Don't
hold it by the blade.Copy !req
989. Haven't you ever held one before?
Right here.Copy !req
990. Yeah, no, my cellie used
to hold them all the time.Copy !req
991. I don't like them. They
cause too much trouble.Copy !req
992. You pull that out on the
yard, somebody comeCopy !req
993. out attack you, they
can do this to you.Copy !req
994. Now what do you do?
You know what I mean?Copy !req
995. What the hell? Where'd
that come from?Copy !req
996. I taught myself how to keister.Copy !req
997. How to keister? Up the keister?Copy !req
998. Look, the electronic toothbrush
part, it still works.Copy !req
999. Oh, no. Okay, James. Cut it off.Copy !req
1000. Cut it off. Get it
out of my face, man.Copy !req
1001. I can turn it on with no hands.Copy !req
1002. I don't want to see that. I
don't want to see that trick.Copy !req
1003. It's okay. Put it back. God.Copy !req
1004. - Put it back?
- No. No, no.Copy !req
1005. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please.Copy !req
1006. - Do you want me to teach you how?
- No, I'm gonna pass on that.Copy !req
1007. It starts with a
simple inverse inhale.Copy !req
1008. James, stop it.Copy !req
1009. That, with a simultaneous
relaxing of the sphincter.Copy !req
1010. I don't wanna know.Copy !req
1011. You sure?Copy !req
1012. I'm positive. I just wanna
ask you one question.Copy !req
1013. I was over there, and I was
touching all those shanks.Copy !req
1014. Were they, uh...?Copy !req
1015. - Keistered?
- Yeah. Were they keistered?Copy !req
1016. Most of them. Yeah.Copy !req
1017. We're about to simulate
a prison riot.Copy !req
1018. Understand that this is the most
dangerous situation there is.Copy !req
1019. Prisoners are scared.
Guards are scared.Copy !req
1020. The key to surviving
is to not freak out.Copy !req
1021. Good Lord. What's gonna happen?Copy !req
1022. Cecelio's just gonna
throw some stuff at you.Copy !req
1023. Some roosters, some mangly
homeless guys, whatever he's got.Copy !req
1024. - He's really excited about this.
- Okay. Let's do it.Copy !req
1025. Wait, don't I get body armor?Copy !req
1026. No. We don't have that type of time.
Cecelio!Copy !req
1027. Why don't we have enough time?Copy !req
1028. Remember, do not freak out.Copy !req
1029. Lights!Copy !req
1030. Music!Copy !req
1031. Who wants to party?Copy !req
1032. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
1033. Cecelio!
Release the chickens!Copy !req
1034. No, no, no, James!
Don't freak out!Copy !req
1035. Darnell,
there's a baboon!Copy !req
1036. - You're in my world now!
- Aah!Copy !req
1037. Someone let me out!Copy !req
1038. Stop freaking out!Copy !req
1039. It's fucking beautiful!Copy !req
1040. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1041. Die! Die!Copy !req
1042. Cecelio, turn it off!Copy !req
1043. Turn it off!Copy !req
1044. Turn it off!Copy !req
1045. James, I've lost control!Copy !req
1046. Cecelio! Pull back! I
have lost control!Copy !req
1047. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1048. GOD! Oh, my God.Copy !req
1049. Shit!Copy !req
1050. - I'm stabbed!
- No!Copy !req
1051. I'm cut! -No,
you cut me, man!Copy !req
1052. You stabbed me!Copy !req
1053. - No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did!Copy !req
1054. I told you, don't freak out!
You freaked out! God! Wait...Copy !req
1055. - No, I'm okay.
- Hold up.Copy !req
1056. It's just the wine.Copy !req
1057. I see all the wine, man.Copy !req
1058. I totally feel fine.Copy !req
1059. - Oh, fuck!
- What? It's a...Copy !req
1060. Oh.Copy !req
1061. - Oh, that's where the other one went.
- Okay, just sit down.Copy !req
1062. - It's a shiv. It's just a shiv.
- Yes, I know.Copy !req
1063. Hey, don't freak out.Copy !req
1064. - I'm gonna pull it.
- Okay.Copy !req
1065. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1066. It's like a fishhook. The more
you pull, the deeper it lodges.Copy !req
1067. All right. Okay. Look, my wife's a nurse.
Let's get you to my wife. Okay?Copy !req
1068. God. Oh, God.Copy !req
1069. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1070. It's sticking right
out of my head.Copy !req
1071. James, listen. I don't want to look at
it no more because I'm starting to...Copy !req
1072. Oh, shit. I'm so scared.Copy !req
1073. I know. Can you fucking
just keep your head...Copy !req
1074. Ow!Copy !req
1075. - Oh, God!
- You drove it in a little deeper.Copy !req
1076. Oh, God. Oh, James, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1077. - Is my eye twitching?
- No!Copy !req
1078. - Answer the question. Is my eye twitching?
- It look fine.Copy !req
1079. - Yeah? Does it look fine?
- Yeah, fine, man. There's nothing wrong.Copy !req
1080. - Let's play a memory game, okay? Engage.
- Yes.Copy !req
1081. - Give me 12 months.
- Months.Copy !req
1082. One, two... - No. - Four...Copy !req
1083. Summer, Christmas...Copy !req
1084. - What?
- Baked potato...Copy !req
1085. - What is "baked potato"?
- Wait. Did I leave one out?Copy !req
1086. No. You're right. You're right.
Those are the months.Copy !req
1087. Thanks for driving
me to college, Dad.Copy !req
1088. What? What the fuck?Copy !req
1089. But don't start crying
when you drop me offCopy !req
1090. at the dorm, because
then I'll start crying.Copy !req
1091. I love you, Dad.Copy !req
1092. Love you too, man.Copy !req
1093. - This is where I need to get out.
- James! No! No!Copy !req
1094. Close the door! Close the door!Copy !req
1095. - Are we at Coachella?
- No, James!Copy !req
1096. Rita, thank you once again for
taking the knife out of my head.Copy !req
1097. Mm.Copy !req
1098. Makayla, what...?Copy !req
1099. Young lady.Copy !req
1100. But he's doing it.Copy !req
1101. This is delicious.Copy !req
1102. Okay, James.
James. -Grr.Copy !req
1103. Stop. Stop. You don't have to eat
like that. You're on furlough.Copy !req
1104. Mm.Copy !req
1105. Sorry. It's part of my training.Copy !req
1106. If you let someone mess with
your food, you're a punk.Copy !req
1107. It's delicious, though.Copy !req
1108. Look, you need to shut
this stuff down right now.Copy !req
1109. Do you understand you're gonna get him
killed before he even gets to prison?Copy !req
1110. - What are you talking about?
- Darnell's doing a wonderful job.Copy !req
1111. - He's a great teacher.
- See that?Copy !req
1112. And a great friend.Copy !req
1113. I just can't figure out how he ever
went to jail in the first place.Copy !req
1114. Gosh, me neither.Copy !req
1115. Darnell, have you every shared with
James the story of how you went away?Copy !req
1116. No, he hasn't.Copy !req
1117. Well, he's not really
ready for that right now.Copy !req
1118. And I got Makayla at the table.Copy !req
1119. I mean, she's the daughter of a
convicted felon. She's strong.Copy !req
1120. Mm-Hmm. Good point.Copy !req
1121. Why don't you tell it?
Don't leave out details.Copy !req
1122. I'd love to hear it. I think
it could really help me.Copy !req
1123. Okay, uh...Copy !req
1124. We was just some
boys in the hood.Copy !req
1125. Me, my man, Ricky, and Doughboy.Copy !req
1126. Doughboy's real name was Russell.
We was close, man.Copy !req
1127. Thing about Ricky, Ricky was special,
because Ricky had the ticket.Copy !req
1128. Ricky was star quarterback. You
know, he had a college future.Copy !req
1129. He was our golden boy, you know?Copy !req
1130. We got into it with some other guys.
You know, some gangbang stuff.Copy !req
1131. Uh, on the way home we
decide to split up.Copy !req
1132. Me and Doughboy said
we'll go this way.Copy !req
1133. Ricky said he'll go this way.Copy !req
1134. Me and Doughboy come around,
we see Ricky on the ground.Copy !req
1135. Ricky got shot.Copy !req
1136. I run over there. I'm
running, I'm running.Copy !req
1137. I grab him. I got his head on my arm.
I'm looking. I'm like, "Ricky!"Copy !req
1138. "Ricky."Copy !req
1139. He had the ticket!Copy !req
1140. They got him.Copy !req
1141. Doughboy's like, "Come on, man. Get up.
Let him be. He's done."Copy !req
1142. I get up.Copy !req
1143. Doughboy says, "You know what this mean.
This mean we gotta step up."Copy !req
1144. I said, "You damn right, it
does." So we strapped up.Copy !req
1145. - I don't know what that means.
- It means we got the burners.Copy !req
1146. I don't know what that means.Copy !req
1147. It means we went
and got the guns.Copy !req
1148. We saw those guys
later that night.Copy !req
1149. Three headshots. Pop! Pop! Pop!Copy !req
1150. - "That's for Ricky!"
- For sure.Copy !req
1151. Cops came, man.Copy !req
1152. I told Doughboy
I'd take the rap.Copy !req
1153. I said, "You go ahead. Live your life.
I'll tell them it was me."Copy !req
1154. Cops came. I said, "I did it."Copy !req
1155. I went to jail.Copy !req
1156. You gave your life and
your freedom for Russell.Copy !req
1157. Loyal to a fault.Copy !req
1158. It is what it is.Copy !req
1159. That's why I wash cars today.Copy !req
1160. Because I got blood on my hands.Copy !req
1161. Just like Lady Macbeth.Copy !req
1162. Huh? Like Macbeth.Copy !req
1163. Yes.Copy !req
1164. - Yes.
- Phew.Copy !req
1165. Wow, what a story.Copy !req
1166. Almost sounds like a movie.Copy !req
1167. Phew. Yeah.Copy !req
1168. Mm-hm.Copy !req
1169. Darnell, why don't you
tell him about that timeCopy !req
1170. that that white lady
came and adopted you...Copy !req
1171. and turned you into
an offensive tackle.Copy !req
1172. I think we've talked
enough tonight.Copy !req
1173. Oh. There's my cab.Copy !req
1174. I'd better get back before lockdown
or Cecelio will put me in the hole.Copy !req
1175. He loves putting me in the hole.Copy !req
1176. - Well, let me walk you out, man.
- No, that's fine.Copy !req
1177. Thanks for everything.Copy !req
1178. James, it was wonderful
meeting you.Copy !req
1179. Great to meet you too.Copy !req
1180. You know, growing up, my family would
never spend any time together like this.Copy !req
1181. You guys are very lucky.Copy !req
1182. - Bye, Makayla.
- Bye, Mr. King.Copy !req
1183. Bye-bye.Copy !req
1184. Hey, your dad never
went to jail, okay?Copy !req
1185. I've seen Boyz n the Hood.Copy !req
1186. Who showed you Boyz n the Hood?Copy !req
1187. Daddy, I don't think he did it.Copy !req
1188. Of course he didn't.Copy !req
1189. You need to do something
that's really gonna help him.Copy !req
1190. He will not last in prison.Copy !req
1191. He wouldn't even
last in my school.Copy !req
1192. Hello, this is James.Copy !req
1193. Hey. It's me, Darnell. Look, man,
I've been thinking it over...Copy !req
1194. and it might be a good idea to get
you extra protection on the inside.Copy !req
1195. So tomorrow we're gonna go over to my
cousin Russell's house. Now listen.Copy !req
1196. Russell and his friends,
they're different dudes.Copy !req
1197. Very suspicious of outsiders.Copy !req
1198. You walking in there, they're probably
gonna think you a cop off the bat.Copy !req
1199. So I need you to do something for me so
we don't create any dangerous situations.Copy !req
1200. - Dress casually.
- Blackface.Copy !req
1201. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
1202. See you tomorrow. James.
James.Copy !req
1203. James, don't do nothing stupid.
Just dress casual.Copy !req
1204. - Nice whip.
- What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
1205. Who you supposed to be
dressed like, James?Copy !req
1206. Little Wayne.Copy !req
1207. It's what he wore at
his last runway show.Copy !req
1208. Oh, Lil Wayne.Copy !req
1209. You told me I needed
to try to fit in, so ICopy !req
1210. stayed up all last night
studying your culture.Copy !req
1211. - I'm sorry, what?
- And to those who say jazz...Copy !req
1212. is the only indigenous
American art form,Copy !req
1213. I say listen to a little
Jay-Z, my friend.Copy !req
1214. Oh.Copy !req
1215. I forgot the gin and juice.
Should I run back inside?Copy !req
1216. Will you stop?Copy !req
1217. I'm not trying to
appropriate your culture.Copy !req
1218. - That's great. I'll tell the others.
- I'm just saying...Copy !req
1219. hip-hop is a very sophisticated,
multifaceted subculture...Copy !req
1220. that speaks to all
different types of people.Copy !req
1221. The music, the fashions, the
attitudes, the beefs...Copy !req
1222. The more I read, the
more I listened...Copy !req
1223. the more I felt connected
to its rich cultural tapestry.Copy !req
1224. That is really great. Now, can we
please be done with this conversation?Copy !req
1225. Please stop.Copy !req
1226. I think I know who killed Tupac.Copy !req
1227. - I got next!
- What the fuck?Copy !req
1228. Hello.I'm gonna
put a cap in yo ass.Copy !req
1229. Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
1230. - Yo, he's good. He with me.
- And who the fuck are you, nigga?Copy !req
1231. Hey, Russell. Russell!Copy !req
1232. Russell.Copy !req
1233. Russell! Excuse me.Copy !req
1234. Hello. James King, Senior
Fund Manager, Wealthrop Funds.Copy !req
1235. James, Come On. Excuse me.
Right through here.Copy !req
1236. Hell no, man. Is this the
motherfucker who youCopy !req
1237. said you had to get
ready for prison, man?Copy !req
1238. Well, I need protection, and I'm
hoping to join the Crenshaw Kings.Copy !req
1239. Are you? Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1240. I've seen white people before.
My probationCopy !req
1241. officer is white. You
know what I'm saying?Copy !req
1242. But you, motherfucker, man, you
white as mayonnaise, man. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1243. Oh, shit. Maybe in blackface.
Who knows? Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1244. Hey, listen. I tell
you what though.Copy !req
1245. You damn sure got your
get-up right, man.Copy !req
1246. I mean, camouflage and
cheetah print, that'sCopy !req
1247. straight out the
gangbanger's handbook.Copy !req
1248. Yeah, yeah, like
Lil Wayne, right?Copy !req
1249. Exactly. Thank you.Copy !req
1250. I love it.Copy !req
1251. Look, he's not trying
to be a member, okay?Copy !req
1252. He just wants you to protect
him while he's on the inside.Copy !req
1253. Like you did for Darnell when
he took the rap for you.Copy !req
1254. What?Copy !req
1255. We can talk about
that another time.Copy !req
1256. - Yeah.
- No.Copy !req
1257. So let's let that go.Copy !req
1258. You remember. You know.Copy !req
1259. With what Ricky did
and the ticket...Copy !req
1260. and you freaked out and Darnell
took control of the situation.Copy !req
1261. - Stop.
- Is this motherfucking...?Copy !req
1262. Boyz n the Hood, man.Copy !req
1263. This is a bad time.
Okay, I tell you what, man.Copy !req
1264. I tell you what:Copy !req
1265. Humor me.Copy !req
1266. I'm a fair person.Copy !req
1267. And I'm a businessman.Copy !req
1268. Clear professional.Copy !req
1269. What's your life worth to you?Copy !req
1270. - How does a million dollars sound?
- Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1271. "How does a million
dollars sound?" Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1272. Hold up, everybody. Stand back.
I'll handle it.Copy !req
1273. How does a million
dollars sound?Copy !req
1274. Million dollars sound
like a one with six zerosCopy !req
1275. behind it with two
commas separating them.Copy !req
1276. However, from the sound of CNN and the
looks of The Wall Street Journal...Copy !req
1277. and everybody else
with eyes and ears goCopy !req
1278. to get they news, you
broke, motherfucker.Copy !req
1279. Your assets have been frozen with
no chances of thawing anytime soon.Copy !req
1280. So you probably got
as much or less...Copy !req
1281. than this little no-good,
manipulative, degenerate motherfucker...Copy !req
1282. right here next to you.Copy !req
1283. Which forces me to ask the question,
"Are you fucking with me?"Copy !req
1284. You think this a motherfucking game?
You think I'm playing?Copy !req
1285. Why would you come up in
my hood, in my house man...Copy !req
1286. and present yourself as something you
not, offering shit you can't deliver?Copy !req
1287. Did this motherfucker
tell you to lie to me?Copy !req
1288. Russ.Copy !req
1289. Shut the fuck up, man.Copy !req
1290. I think, real fast, you need to tell
me what the fuck you gonna do...Copy !req
1291. to make me wanna keep
motherfuckers off your ass.Copy !req
1292. You're talking to James King.Copy !req
1293. Let me create wealth for you.Copy !req
1294. So the normal minimum buy-in to
the Nexel Fund is 5 million...Copy !req
1295. but I can get you guys in using
a brokerage pocket account.Copy !req
1296. In other words, liquidate two bricks
of cocaine and park it right here.Copy !req
1297. With the historical
performance of the fund,Copy !req
1298. that's gonna double every
three to five years...Copy !req
1299. and we're looking at,
mm, $1.2 million easy.Copy !req
1300. Ain't no way you're making that much
money without committing a crime.Copy !req
1301. With apologies to Balzac.Copy !req
1302. What the fuck? You talking
about my ballsack?Copy !req
1303. No. What we're gonna do is we
get other people's money...Copy !req
1304. who've made an opposite
prediction on the market.Copy !req
1305. Okay, we gonna roll on
them and take they money.Copy !req
1306. Just how strapped are these
loser motherfuckers?Copy !req
1307. Oh, I wouldn't worry.Copy !req
1308. I've taken millions from them...Copy !req
1309. and they haven't
stepped to me yet.Copy !req
1310. Loser motherfuckers.Copy !req
1311. Damn. Mayo is badass.Copy !req
1312. Stock market is gangster. Take what's
yours and fuck the other guy, right?Copy !req
1313. Wall Street, man. Those
are the real criminals.Copy !req
1314. Those guys get away with murder.Copy !req
1315. Wait, man. You murder
people all the time, Black.Copy !req
1316. Oh, yeah. Murder's my favorite.Copy !req
1317. And they think, "Oh,
please, don't kill me."Copy !req
1318. I love it. And I'm like,
"I'm not gonna kill you."Copy !req
1319. They relax, then I'm like,
"Boom, get on the ground now!Copy !req
1320. Get on the ground!
Get on the ground!"Copy !req
1321. I'll kill you! I'll kill you!Copy !req
1322. - I get excited about murder.
- Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1323. I'm... I'm laughing.Copy !req
1324. You should know, you did
all right this time.Copy !req
1325. Your boy, Mayo, is an earner.Copy !req
1326. Are you gonna get him
some help on the inside?Copy !req
1327. I'll help him.Copy !req
1328. But not with us. You know,
inside it's all about color.Copy !req
1329. Dude need a white gang.Copy !req
1330. A very white gang.Copy !req
1331. But I'll put the play together.Copy !req
1332. That's the
gang I have to join?Copy !req
1333. They seem kind of racist.Copy !req
1334. Ain't no "kind of." They are.Copy !req
1335. That's the Alliance of Whites.Copy !req
1336. That's also your only chance
of survival in prison...Copy !req
1337. so you need to go in
there and you need toCopy !req
1338. make them believe that
you're one of them.Copy !req
1339. Matter of fact, call me the N-word.
But sayCopy !req
1340. it like you mean it, though.
Let me hear it.Copy !req
1341. What? No.Copy !req
1342. That's the wrong N-word. Come on, James,
I'm giving you a free pass right now.Copy !req
1343. In this truck, the N-word
is perfectly fine.Copy !req
1344. Just another word right now.
Go ahead.Copy !req
1345. That still doesn't feel...Copy !req
1346. Let's try this. What's that
place where your leg bends?Copy !req
1347. My knee?Copy !req
1348. Okay. And, uh, what noise
does a angry dog make?Copy !req
1349. - Grr?
- Put it together, though.Copy !req
1350. Knee. Knee-grr.Copy !req
1351. - Ow!
- Oh, shit! I'm sorry.Copy !req
1352. I am sorry, man,
that just happened.Copy !req
1353. That literally just happened.Copy !req
1354. Wow, I got you good too.Copy !req
1355. It just, like, jumped out, man.Copy !req
1356. It was a reflex. I
really can't tell you.Copy !req
1357. I didn't even say it. I was
saying two other words.Copy !req
1358. I apologize, James. What
do you want me to do?Copy !req
1359. Just get your ass out the car
and go in there, act hard.Copy !req
1360. Fit in, man. Go ahead.Copy !req
1361. Cut the light off! Shit!Copy !req
1362. Fuck yeah!Copy !req
1363. Spider, you're up.Copy !req
1364. Watch and learn, son.Copy !req
1365. Hi.Copy !req
1366. Um...Copy !req
1367. If I could have your
attention, please.Copy !req
1368. I'm just looking for
someoned named Spider?Copy !req
1369. He's a narc!Copy !req
1370. Listen, this relationship can't
just be built around him.Copy !req
1371. You got a right to be
happy too, you know?Copy !req
1372. And I am, I am. And I think I'm
open to it now because of our talk.Copy !req
1373. Yeah. That's good. I love the fact
that you're listening. I love that.Copy !req
1374. You know, you're the best
boyfriend I never had.Copy !req
1375. Ha, ha. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1376. Yeah, well, I'm not totally giving up.
There is time.Copy !req
1377. - And things change with time.
- No, no, they don't.Copy !req
1378. No. No, no. That's
never gonna happen.Copy !req
1379. - You say that now.
- No, no, no. I'm always gonna say that.Copy !req
1380. - Okay.
- Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1381. Okay.Copy !req
1382. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1383. Hey, I gotta go, Okay?Copy !req
1384. So I'll talk to you later.
Have fun.Copy !req
1385. Private club, Jew Hair.Copy !req
1386. Good one, Spider.Copy !req
1387. I walked right into that one.
Heh.Copy !req
1388. James King. Protestant.Copy !req
1389. But Russell, from the
Crenshaw Kings, referred me?Copy !req
1390. Yeah, Russell said you'd be by.Copy !req
1391. Anyway, I'm going to prison
and I need protection.Copy !req
1392. Well, welcome to
the club, Jimbo.Copy !req
1393. Great! Oh, good!Copy !req
1394. But you get protection
from us, we got rules.Copy !req
1395. Principles.Copy !req
1396. Rule number one:Copy !req
1397. When you're on the inside, you don't
hang out with the niggers or the spics.Copy !req
1398. Now, do you have a problem
with that, brother?Copy !req
1399. Me?Copy !req
1400. Of course not.Copy !req
1401. Spider, what do you take me for?Copy !req
1402. I'm a big-time racist.Copy !req
1403. I hate the knee.Copy !req
1404. What?Copy !req
1405. What is this shit?Copy !req
1406. I mean, heck, I'm such a racist that my
chess set, I only have white pieces.Copy !req
1407. It's confusing, but I don't...Copy !req
1408. I won't give the blacks
a chance to win.Copy !req
1409. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1410. He's a fucking cop.Copy !req
1411. - He's a cop!
- I smell bacon.Copy !req
1412. - I'm not a cop.
- Fucking hate narcs.Copy !req
1413. We'll find out what he is.Copy !req
1414. Yeah.Copy !req
1415. Oh, God.Copy !req
1416. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
1417. I'm just wondering if maybe I'm not the
best fit for the Alliance of Whites.Copy !req
1418. You got anything to confess
before I rip your face off?Copy !req
1419. Fine! Go ahead!Copy !req
1420. Kill me! But please tell
the world I'm not a thief!Copy !req
1421. I did not do the things
they said I did!Copy !req
1422. Promise me, Spider! Promise me!Copy !req
1423. Burn him.Copy !req
1424. The fuck was that?Copy !req
1425. That's right!Copy !req
1426. A black man just came
in with a flamethrower,Copy !req
1427. just like you always
knew would happen!Copy !req
1428. Yeah!Copy !req
1429. The devil in here, bitch!Copy !req
1430. And he's a black man.Copy !req
1431. Stay yo ass back! Stay back!Copy !req
1432. James! Let's go!Copy !req
1433. Yeah.Copy !req
1434. - You all right?
- Yeah. Come on.Copy !req
1435. Come on. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
1436. You know what? I got something I wanna
say to y'all since I'm guessing...Copy !req
1437. this is the first time that you've ever
been forced to listen to a black man.Copy !req
1438. You know, maybe you guys should
just calm the fuck down.Copy !req
1439. Black people ain't
trying to hurt you!Copy !req
1440. I mean, technically,
I am right now.Copy !req
1441. But that's only because of what you
were trying to do to the white guy.Copy !req
1442. Think about that!Copy !req
1443. Google "I Have a
Dream," assholes!Copy !req
1444. It's a teachable
moment here, people.Copy !req
1445. Should burn everybody in here.Copy !req
1446. Run, James!Copy !req
1447. Oh, shit! -Bring
me their fucking heads!Copy !req
1448. Run, James! Run!Copy !req
1449. What the fuck are you knocking
over the bike for? Run!Copy !req
1450. Oh, God. You just couldn't
say "nigger", huh?Copy !req
1451. What? You can't see the irony
in being mad at me about that?Copy !req
1452. No! Motherfuckers!Copy !req
1453. - It's Nazi titties!
- And they're huge!Copy !req
1454. Get out!Copy !req
1455. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1456. Whoa! Bitch,
get your white ass off!Copy !req
1457. Goddamn it! Ugh!Copy !req
1458. Oh, go, go, go!Copy !req
1459. - You blew up my club, Jew Hair!
- Oh, shit!Copy !req
1460. Post-racial
America, assholes!Copy !req
1461. Fuck you, Nazis!
Yeah!Copy !req
1462. I'm so glad to be back
in Crenshaw where it's safe.Copy !req
1463. My heart is just now
finally settling.Copy !req
1464. Yeah. We're alive.Copy !req
1465. How about we make a toast
to escaping fucking Nazis.Copy !req
1466. Yes. Heh.Copy !req
1467. You really are
innocent, aren't you?Copy !req
1468. Yes.Copy !req
1469. - Absolutely.
- Okay, so James, if that's the case...Copy !req
1470. then why aren't you trying to
find the guy that framed you?Copy !req
1471. We are.Copy !req
1472. Who are?Copy !req
1473. Now, Martin has a team of investigators
working around the clock.Copy !req
1474. He's keeping me up to date. But
the million-dollar question is.Copy !req
1475. - Who falsified my transaction records?
- All right, lay it on me.Copy !req
1476. All right. Now, this is
very complicated to follow.Copy !req
1477. I don't expect you to get it on the
first pass, so listen very carefully.Copy !req
1478. The one thing you need to
understand at the Wealthrop Fund...Copy !req
1479. is that everything
flows through Martin.Copy !req
1480. "Okay?" Okay.Copy !req
1481. Any sort of contact with the
clearing house, the traders...Copy !req
1482. access to trading records
and client information...Copy !req
1483. international accounts,
institutions...Copy !req
1484. and, of course, the doling out of
commissions all goes through Martin.Copy !req
1485. - So it's Martin.
- No.Copy !req
1486. Are you fucking ki...?
It's common sense, James.Copy !req
1487. Look! All arrows
point to Martin!Copy !req
1488. The only name on the
board is fucking Martin!Copy !req
1489. Martin! Martin! Martin!Copy !req
1490. Come on! James, you
need to focus.Copy !req
1491. You're going to prison unless you
can prove that Martin did it.Copy !req
1492. We'd need to get a hold
of the master records...Copy !req
1493. which is a log of all transactions
made by anyone in the firm.Copy !req
1494. - Okay, how do we get it?
- Martin has the original copy...Copy !req
1495. on the same computer that he
had when he started the company.Copy !req
1496. You got to be the dumbest genius I've...
Get up, James!Copy !req
1497. - All right.
- Fuck the board! Let's go, James!Copy !req
1498. We're going to Martin's office.Copy !req
1499. Act natural, James. You
walking like you guilty.Copy !req
1500. - Hey, big guy, you catch the game?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1501. Hey, big guy, my name is Ken.
I work here.Copy !req
1502. It's
in this cabinet.Copy !req
1503. We just have to figure out a
way to get the door open.Copy !req
1504. Watch out.Copy !req
1505. I got it.Copy !req
1506. Ugh. There it is. Same computer he
had when he started the company.Copy !req
1507. It's a good luck charm.Copy !req
1508. Good luck charm, my ass.Copy !req
1509. It has no connection to the outside world.
No emails, no internet, no trace.Copy !req
1510. There it is.
The master records.Copy !req
1511. That's what we need.
This will clear my name.Copy !req
1512. Well, then let's not waste time.
Get it.Copy !req
1513. Yes! I'm not going to prison.Copy !req
1514. More importantly, I'm not
gonna be anyone's bitch.Copy !req
1515. Hey, you are living
the dream, my friend.Copy !req
1516. - Darnell?
- Yeah?Copy !req
1517. Look, you saved my life.Copy !req
1518. - I don't know how I'll ever repay you.
- Oh, come on, man.Copy !req
1519. Just this once.Copy !req
1520. All right, break it up.Copy !req
1521. Leave the cart there and back away.
Move away, come on. Move, move.Copy !req
1522. I actually respect you for trying,
but enough is enough, James.Copy !req
1523. All right.Copy !req
1524. What are you doing?Copy !req
1525. James, what are you doing?Copy !req
1526. Don't mad-dog, James.Copy !req
1527. He's gonna shoot us.Copy !req
1528. What the fuck?Copy !req
1529. No. He's gonna kill us, man.Copy !req
1530. - Do you want some?
- Oh, fuck!Copy !req
1531. - Do you wanna step with me?
- God!Copy !req
1532. You'd better... Don't...Copy !req
1533. Oh.Copy !req
1534. The gun! Grab the gun!Copy !req
1535. Why don`t you pick up the gun?Copy !req
1536. Uh...Copy !req
1537. - Grab it!
- Yeah. I got it, I got it!Copy !req
1538. I got it. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
1539. You look a little nervous.
First time holding a gun?Copy !req
1540. Nope.Copy !req
1541. Motherfucker, freeze!Copy !req
1542. Before I pop yo ass!Copy !req
1543. "Pop"? Really?Copy !req
1544. I would listen to him. This
man's a dangerous felon.Copy !req
1545. Yeah, except when I ran his record, it
was the cleanest one I'd ever seen.Copy !req
1546. Not even a parking ticket.Copy !req
1547. - Yeah.
- What?Copy !req
1548. You didn't know? Yeah.Copy !req
1549. Stop dicking around and give me the gun.
Come on. Give me the gun.Copy !req
1550. I think you have the safety on.Copy !req
1551. Shit! Ow.Copy !req
1552. Ugh.Copy !req
1553. See? Safety's on.Copy !req
1554. Safety off.Copy !req
1555. Martin was right. You are
a lucky little shit.Copy !req
1556. Don't give me reason to find you again.
Either of you.Copy !req
1557. Don't you mad-dog me, James.Copy !req
1558. Listen, listen, I got some
explaining to do. James!Copy !req
1559. We can talk about this after
we go catch this guy.Copy !req
1560. You traitor!Copy !req
1561. - "Traitor"?
- Everything you taught me was a lie!Copy !req
1562. And now I'm fucked
beyond all fucktitude!Copy !req
1563. My life's asshole is fucked!Copy !req
1564. You stop with your
unorthodox style of cussing!Copy !req
1565. You just remember.Copy !req
1566. Whatever happens to me in
there, it's your fault!Copy !req
1567. Oh, stop. That's bullshit, man.Copy !req
1568. Okay, I may have lied to you about going to
jail, but I did my job. I got you ready!Copy !req
1569. Ready for what?Copy !req
1570. Maximum-bullshit prison?Copy !req
1571. I almost sucked a
dick because of you!Copy !req
1572. I don't even give a shit.Copy !req
1573. It's my sign.Copy !req
1574. Now, the great thing about
an IRA, if you needCopy !req
1575. the money for education
or a first home...Copy !req
1576. motherfuckers can make
withdrawal penalty-free.Copy !req
1577. I honestly don't get the difference
between Roth and the traditional IRAs.Copy !req
1578. Fuck is wrong with you?
The shit is pretax.Copy !req
1579. No, it's okay. A lot of
people get confused by that.Copy !req
1580. This bitch is gonna mess
around, get us audited.Copy !req
1581. Say what you mean.Copy !req
1582. You got five years
receipts, motherfucker?Copy !req
1583. And the strip club
ain't no home office!Copy !req
1584. That's a red flag, nigga!Copy !req
1585. You big beanbag-build bitch!Copy !req
1586. Stop it! You all friends! Right?Copy !req
1587. Now JoJo, you might be right.Copy !req
1588. A strip club isn't
a home office.Copy !req
1589. You're asking to
be audited, son.Copy !req
1590. But is being right more
important than friendship? Huh?Copy !req
1591. Take it from me.Copy !req
1592. I lost my black friend.Copy !req
1593. Don't lose yours.Copy !req
1594. HugCopy !req
1595. Hug, motherfuckers!Copy !req
1596. - I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
1597. - I'll love you forever.
- Hey, bro, you know, it's just talk.Copy !req
1598. Say, cos, you ready to
get put on the hood?Copy !req
1599. I'm rolling.Copy !req
1600. Mayo, I need you to
sink your mind into this, cos.Copy !req
1601. Once you step through this threshold,
motherfuckers are ready to kill for you.Copy !req
1602. I mean a whole fraternity of
motherfuckers gonna have your back.Copy !req
1603. But there's only one
way out of this.Copy !req
1604. That's when your casket
drops into the ground.Copy !req
1605. So from this day forward...Copy !req
1606. you have eternal
protection...Copy !req
1607. until your eternal demise.Copy !req
1608. We dead-ass serious
about what we do.Copy !req
1609. And if you go through that
threshold and you make it back...Copy !req
1610. we gonna be dead-ass
serious about you.Copy !req
1611. Time to smoke some fools.Copy !req
1612. Crenshaw Kings for
life, motherfucker.Copy !req
1613. Hmm. Almost.Copy !req
1614. Let's roll.Copy !req
1615. Hey.Copy !req
1616. You come back safe.Copy !req
1617. I will, Shonda.Copy !req
1618. - We gotta go, Mayo.
- Bye, baby.Copy !req
1619. Let's roll, cos.Copy !req
1620. Hold up! Oh, shit!
Wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
1621. Oh, wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
1622. Hey! It's Darnell! It's Darnell!Copy !req
1623. - It's Darnell!
- What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
1624. Shit, cousin! Man, tell them
to put their guns down!Copy !req
1625. Man, put them up.Copy !req
1626. God!Copy !req
1627. What is your problem, man?
What are you doing?Copy !req
1628. Man, give us a second.Copy !req
1629. I'm blooding in. Crenshaw Kings are
gonna protect me on the inside.Copy !req
1630. So you're gonna go and
kill somebody, James?Copy !req
1631. Huh? Have you lost
your fucking mind?Copy !req
1632. I have to. I don't
have a choice.Copy !req
1633. That is not true.Copy !req
1634. I came here to tell you we
can clear your name, James.Copy !req
1635. But you gotta trust me, man.Copy !req
1636. We gotta roll, Mayo.Copy !req
1637. "Mayo"?Copy !req
1638. - Who the fuck is Mayo?
- I'm Mayo. It's my gang name.Copy !req
1639. It's short for "Mayonnaise"
on account of my skin color.Copy !req
1640. I came up with that.Copy !req
1641. - Okay, you wanna go then?
- What?Copy !req
1642. - You wanna go?
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1643. Putting fingerprints on your gun. If you
go to jail, I'm going to jail with you.Copy !req
1644. So before you out there
and make a stupid-assCopy !req
1645. decision, why don't
you think about that?Copy !req
1646. There you go.Copy !req
1647. That's it? My fingerprints
are off that easy?Copy !req
1648. Pretty much. Good as new.
Let's roll, Mayo.Copy !req
1649. James, you got a choice right now. You got
the right path, you got the wrong path.Copy !req
1650. Make the right decision, James.Copy !req
1651. Follow your heart, man.Copy !req
1652. James, you gotta trust
me on this one.Copy !req
1653. Oh, my God! I almost did it!
I almost killed a man!Copy !req
1654. And I was gonna use this gun.Copy !req
1655. James, put that away, man! Stop!Copy !req
1656. - What is your problem?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1657. They were just encouraging me...Copy !req
1658. and they were high-fiving me.Copy !req
1659. They're passing me
this sticky icky.Copy !req
1660. And between the pot
and the hos...Copy !req
1661. it was just an ambrosia
of primal sensations.Copy !req
1662. And for one brief moment, I
knew what my purpose was.Copy !req
1663. - Okay, okay.
- Not to mention Russell.Copy !req
1664. He's so charismatic. Real natural leader.
Reminds me of a young Ronald Reagan.Copy !req
1665. Hey...Copy !req
1666. Thank you for
coming back for me.Copy !req
1667. Thanks for not doing nothing stupid, man.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1668. All right, so listen to this.Copy !req
1669. I figured out that the residue
on Martin's car was saltwater.Copy !req
1670. Then I remembered the mileage.
I used to takeCopy !req
1671. a picture of the
odometer all the time...Copy !req
1672. to keep people from accusing me of
joyriding. - People do that? That's awful.Copy !req
1673. Yeah, you did it like three times.
You tried toCopy !req
1674. get me fired, but thought
my name was Andre.Copy !req
1675. Anyway, Martin used to drive the
same exact seven miles every day.Copy !req
1676. But last week, he started
driving 56 miles every day.Copy !req
1677. Fifty-six! So, what I did
was, I checked the map.Copy !req
1678. Turns out that's the exact distance
of a round-trip to San Pedro.Copy !req
1679. Saltwater, ocean, San Pedro.Copy !req
1680. I just gotta figure out
why he's going to SanCopy !req
1681. Pedro. That's the only
thing I don't know.Copy !req
1682. His yacht.Copy !req
1683. It's docked at the port.Copy !req
1684. - Fucker's got a yacht?
- Mm-hm. And an island in Cape Verde...Copy !req
1685. where there are no extradition laws.
Fucker's got a yacht and a island, James?Copy !req
1686. Fucking working for a villain
in a James Bond movie!Copy !req
1687. He's gonna make a run for it.Copy !req
1688. Not if Mayo can stop him.Copy !req
1689. Mayo and Chocolat.Copy !req
1690. - "Chocolat"?
- Chocolat.Copy !req
1691. - Is that supposed to be my nickname?
- That's your nickname.Copy !req
1692. I'll do better. We have
the whole car ride.Copy !req
1693. Mayo and Coffee.Copy !req
1694. Mayo and Fudge.Copy !req
1695. I don't want one. Just call
me Darnell. Hit it, Fudge!Copy !req
1696. There it is. There's his boat.
The Sea Note.Copy !req
1697. The Sea Note? What a dick.Copy !req
1698. Come on.Copy !req
1699. Get down, James.
You gotta get down.Copy !req
1700. - Are those guards?
- I think so.Copy !req
1701. There's a lot of them.
Yeah.Copy !req
1702. There's the computer.Copy !req
1703. I see it.Copy !req
1704. James, you gotta get low!Copy !req
1705. Oh, no. They're getting ready
to leave. - Shit. We gotta jump.Copy !req
1706. All right.Copy !req
1707. - Get off my hand!
- Sorry, I'm nervous.Copy !req
1708. Let's go!Copy !req
1709. Darnell! I made it!Copy !req
1710. Let go of my face!Copy !req
1711. - That's all you, James. All you, James!
- Aah!Copy !req
1712. Okay. Come on, this way.Copy !req
1713. There it is.Copy !req
1714. Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Oh, shit!Copy !req
1715. Get off! Get off!Copy !req
1716. Get off.Copy !req
1717. Dammit.Copy !req
1718. This is the end, guys.Copy !req
1719. You going down.Copy !req
1720. That's great. I spend my
whole life in Crenshaw...Copy !req
1721. and now I'm about to get killed by
some white guy from Beverly Hills?Copy !req
1722. - On a yacht!
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1723. Hand over the computer, James.Copy !req
1724. Come on. Just can't get
it through your head?Copy !req
1725. Guys like you will always be the
fall guy because you're weak.Copy !req
1726. Are you okay?Copy !req
1727. James? James. No. James, please.Copy !req
1728. Goddamn, James. Please,
please, James.Copy !req
1729. I sentence you to 10 years in
a maximum security prison.Copy !req
1730. You about to get this:Copy !req
1731. Oh, they be fucking
in San Quentin.Copy !req
1732. - In this house?
- Mouth full of balls.Copy !req
1733. - Come back, Mayo.
- Take it all.Copy !req
1734. When life puts a dick in your
mouth, you make dickade.Copy !req
1735. Go suck a dick.Copy !req
1736. Your capoeira's strong!Copy !req
1737. Now you must bring your
power into the world.Copy !req
1738. What? James. What are you doing?Copy !req
1739. I've been pushed
around for too long.Copy !req
1740. Now it is time. I can feel it.Copy !req
1741. - Time for what, James?
- Protect the computer!Copy !req
1742. Shit! I don't want the computer!Copy !req
1743. Béngéo kick!Copy !req
1744. Oh, God!Copy !req
1745. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1746. Leave me alone! Stop! No!Copy !req
1747. James! James!Copy !req
1748. All right, get down there.
Come on.Copy !req
1749. Mayo and Chocolat,
motherfuckers!Copy !req
1750. Aah! James, you mean to tell me you
could do this shit the whole time?Copy !req
1751. Capoeira must never be used
unless capoeira is required.Copy !req
1752. Let's go.Copy !req
1753. Motherfuckers!Copy !req
1754. Okay! Okay!Copy !req
1755. Come here!Copy !req
1756. That's what we do!Copy !req
1757. Mother...! Get off!Copy !req
1758. James.Copy !req
1759. Do like we used to
do in the yard.Copy !req
1760. Yeah! You got it, James.Copy !req
1761. Fuck yeah, James.
Get his ass, James.Copy !req
1762. God.Copy !req
1763. I got the computer.Copy !req
1764. - Lifeboat. Come on.
- All right.Copy !req
1765. Hey, that capoeira
shit was amazing.Copy !req
1766. But you learned some of that
shit from me too. Right, James?Copy !req
1767. James. What's going on here? What
the hell did you do to my boat?Copy !req
1768. Man, fuck this boat!Copy !req
1769. We taking the evidence that you framed
your son-in-law with, sick son of a bitch.Copy !req
1770. How could you do this to me, Martin?
Ten years in prison?Copy !req
1771. James, you realize that I
didn't mean to hurt you.Copy !req
1772. I'm very fond of you, but
Himalayan Tiger tanked...Copy !req
1773. and I had to get the
money from somewhere.Copy !req
1774. I had no choice.
It was you or me.Copy !req
1775. That sounds like a choice!Copy !req
1776. James, fuck him. We're leaving.Copy !req
1777. And next time you wanna store
some fraud shit, get an iPad.Copy !req
1778. Come on, James.Copy !req
1779. - Oh, my damn.
- Alissa.Copy !req
1780. - James. Daddy, what's he doing here?
- It's fine, honey.Copy !req
1781. Uh, James.Copy !req
1782. I have a wonderful idea. Why
don't you come with us?Copy !req
1783. We'll start a whole new life in Cape
Verde and nobody has to go to prison.Copy !req
1784. Don't you want...
a big, big island?Copy !req
1785. - Were you in on this?
- No, not at first.Copy !req
1786. And when he told me about it,
I was really mad at him.Copy !req
1787. But then he explained how he was
able to hide most of the money...Copy !req
1788. so, really, there's
no harm done.Copy !req
1789. James, now there's still time
to get everything you want.Copy !req
1790. Everything.Copy !req
1791. No! I don't want any of it.Copy !req
1792. - And you got a white girl's ass.
- Ah!Copy !req
1793. Thattaboy. Hey, James, do you wanna switch
off, man? I got nothing left up top.Copy !req
1794. - Quick, throw it in the Zodiac.
- Right.Copy !req
1795. Then we can get the
fuck out of here.Copy !req
1796. - Shit! Goddamn it!
- Aah!Copy !req
1797. I am genuinely sorry it
had to end this way.Copy !req
1798. When we clear the
breakwater, shoot them.Copy !req
1799. You ain't got to do this, man.Copy !req
1800. You ain't got to do this.Copy !req
1801. Well, Dad, looks like you thought
of everything, didn't you?Copy !req
1802. You were always one
step ahead of me.Copy !req
1803. Except you forgot
one little detail.Copy !req
1804. Where'd that come from?Copy !req
1805. First rule in prison pat-downs.Copy !req
1806. Always check the anus.Copy !req
1807. Someone learned how to keister.Copy !req
1808. - Ew.
- That's right. Nuts and butts.Copy !req
1809. You point? Okay. That's
how you wanna do it?Copy !req
1810. You point at him.
I'll point at Martin.Copy !req
1811. Either way. So if I
die, Martin's going.Copy !req
1812. So you figure it out. Shoot
me, Martin gets shot.Copy !req
1813. Ball's in your court, Gayle.Copy !req
1814. - Alissa?
- Shoot her.Copy !req
1815. Shoot her. You need to
shoot that bitch anyway.Copy !req
1816. You're not gonna shoot me.Copy !req
1817. You're wasting time. Police'll
be here any second.Copy !req
1818. That's right. We're
talking the real police.Copy !req
1819. The ones that's gonna come here
on boats with sirens on them...Copy !req
1820. that's got dogs that can swim. Let me
tell you something about swimming dogs.Copy !req
1821. Now, let me tell you, you're
gonna bullshit a bullshitter...Copy !req
1822. just make the
bullshit plausible.Copy !req
1823. This is the U. S. Marshall Service.
Prepare to be boarded.Copy !req
1824. You are carrying a fugitive.Copy !req
1825. Yes!Copy !req
1826. Heh. Hell yeah.Copy !req
1827. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1828. How?Copy !req
1829. Remember this bracelet that
crooked lawyer of yours gave me?Copy !req
1830. By my calculation we should be
well outside the county line.Copy !req
1831. Prison school's in
session, bitch.Copy !req
1832. And somebody just graduated.Copy !req
1833. That's perfect. That's perfect.Copy !req
1834. That's great, right?Copy !req
1835. Attention Sea Note. This is the U.S.
Marshal Service.Copy !req
1836. Where you going? Huh, Martin?
Where you going?Copy !req
1837. What?Copy !req
1838. - Look at you, man!
- I know.Copy !req
1839. God, look at you!Copy !req
1840. Where did you put...? That was in your ass.
That was in your ass.Copy !req
1841. The computer
proved I was innocent.Copy !req
1842. Martin was arrested for fraud, tampering
with evidence and obstruction of justice.Copy !req
1843. And I will be
contacting my attorney. Daddy?Copy !req
1844. As for me, I was cleared of all
charges related to the embezzlement.Copy !req
1845. So I guess we did it.Copy !req
1846. Mayo and Chocolate.Copy !req
1847. Heh.Copy !req
1848. Thank God we won't be
needing this anymore.Copy !req
1849. This illegal, unlicensed gun.Copy !req
1850. Okay, you should really get
rid of that thing. Gun!Copy !req
1851. - Drop it!
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
1852. I did end up getting six months
for carrying an unlicensed weapon.Copy !req
1853. But, thanks to
Darnell, I was ready.Copy !req
1854. Prison is like life distilled
to its purest form.Copy !req
1855. Give respect to get respect.Copy !req
1856. But most of all, if you let someone fuck
with your food, you're a punk fuck bitch.Copy !req
1857. Someone should have told
you this Mayo went bad.Copy !req
1858. I'm gonna punch you in the fuck!Copy !req
1859. I'm gonna shit you!Copy !req
1860. Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock!Copy !req
1861. Martin didn't do as well. But he
learned a valuable lesson too.Copy !req
1862. They be fucking in San Quentin.Copy !req
1863. How ya doing?A
whole lot of fucking.Copy !req
1864. Hey! Open up. Open UP-Copy !req
1865. Shonda visited
me every day.Copy !req
1866. I never thought prison would be the
place I learned to love again...Copy !req
1867. but that's what happened.Copy !req
1868. No, no, no! She's not done.
She hasn't finished yet.Copy !req
1869. No, it's not what you think.
We're in love.Copy !req
1870. I helped the FBI find and
return all the assets Martin stole.Copy !req
1871. In return, they unfroze my bank accounts,
and I knew just where to invest my money.Copy !req
1872. It's good?Copy !req
1873. It's good, right?Copy !req
1874. Makayla, you proud of Daddy?Copy !req
1875. Daddy did good? Give me a hug.Copy !req
1876. Daddy, I like your car wash.Copy !req
1877. I'm glad you like it, sweetie.Copy !req
1878. I see you survived.Copy !req
1879. I guess you got hard, Mayo.Copy !req
1880. No. You made me hard.Copy !req
1881. Come here, man. Heh.Copy !req
1882. Aah!Copy !req
1883. You made me hard.Copy !req
1884. So hard.Copy !req
1885. You got me so hard.Copy !req
1886. I'm happy to see you too, big fella.
I'm happy to see you.Copy !req
1887. There was a moment where
I stopped being hard...Copy !req
1888. but I thought of you,
and it got me hard again.Copy !req
1889. And I can't ever thank you.Copy !req
1890. All right.Copy !req
1891. Welcome home, man. Come
on, let's get in the car.Copy !req
1892. You look good, James.Copy !req
1893. Welcome back to the free world, James.
How you wanna celebrate?Copy !req
1894. You know what I'd like to get my
hands on? A Wall Street Journal and a 40.Copy !req
1895. Now that'd be a perfect
Sunday morning.Copy !req