- 1. I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman,
your senior drill instructor.
- 2. From now on,
you will speak only when spoken to...
- 3. and the first and last words
out of your filthy sewers will be "sir."
- 4. Do you maggots understand that?
- 5. Sir, yes, sir.
- 6. Bullshit. I can't hear you.
Sound off like you got a pair.
- 7. Sir, yes, sir.
- 8. If you ladies leave my island,
if you survive recruit training...
- 9. you will be a weapon.
- 10. You will be a minister of death
praying for war.
- 11. But until that day, you are pukes.
- 12. You are the lowest form of life on Earth.
- 13. You are not even human-fucking-beings.
- 14. You are nothing but unorganized,
grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit.
- 15. Because I am hard, you will not like me.
- 16. But the more you hate me,
the more you will learn.
- 17. I am hard but I am fair.
- 18. There is no racial bigotry here.
- 19. I do not look down on niggers,
kikes, wops or greasers.
- 20. Here, you are all equally worthless.
- 21. And my orders are to weed out
- 22. who do not pack the gear
to serve in my beloved Corps.
- 23. Do you maggots understand that?
- 24. Sir, yes, sir.
- 25. Bullshit. I can't hear you.
- 26. Sir, yes, sir!
- 27. - What's your name, scumbag?
- Sir, Private Brown, sir!
- 28. Bullshit. From now on
you're Private Snowball.
- 29. - Do you like that name?
- Sir, yes, sir!
- 30. Well, there's one thing
that you won't like, Snowball:
- 31. They don't serve fried chicken
- 32. on a daily basis in my mess hall.
- 33. Sir, yes, sir!
- 34. Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
- 35. Who said that?
- 36. Who the fuck said that?
- 37. Who's the slimy little communist-shit,
twinkle-toed cocksucker down here...
- 38. who just signed
his own death warrant?
- 39. Nobody, huh?
- 40. The fairy-fucking-godmother said it.
- 41. I will P. T. You all until you fucking die.
- 42. I'll P. T. You until your assholes
are sucking buttermilk.
- 43. - Was it you, you scroungy little fuck?
- Sir, no, sir.
- 44. You piece of shit. You look
like a fucking worm. I'll bet it was you.
- 45. - Sir, no, sir.
- Sir, I said it, sir.
- 46. Well, no shit.
- 47. What have we got here?
A fucking comedian. Private Joker.
- 48. I admire your honesty.
- 49. Hell, I like you. You can come over
to my house and fuck my sister.
- 50. You little scumbag.
I've got your name. I've got your ass.
- 51. You will not laugh. You will not cry.
- 52. You will learn by the numbers.
I will teach you.
- 53. Now get up. Get on your feet.
- 54. You best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew
your head and shit down your neck.
- 55. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Private Joker, why did you join my Corps?
- 56. - Sir, to kill, sir.
- So you're a killer?
- 57. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Let me see your war face.
- 58. - Sir?
- You've got a war face?
- 59. That's a war face.
Now let me see your war face.
- 60. Bullshit. You didn't convince me.
Let me see your real war face.
- 61. You don't scare me. Work on it.
- 62. Sir, yes, sir!
- 63. What's your excuse?
- 64. Sir, excuse for what, sir?
- 65. I'm asking the fucking questions, private.
Do you understand?
- 66. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Well, thank you very much.
- 67. - Can I be in charge for a while?
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 68. - Are you shook-up? Are you nervous?
- Sir, I am, sir.
- 69. - Do I make you nervous?
- 70. Sir what?
Were you about to call me an asshole?
- 71. - Sir, no, sir.
- How tall are you, private?
- 72. Sir, 5'9", sir.
- 73. Five-foot-9. I didn't know
they stacked shit that high.
- 74. You trying to squeeze an inch
in on me somewhere?
- 75. - Sir, no, sir.
- Bullshit. It looks like the best part of you...
- 76. ran down the crack of your mama's ass
and ended up as a stain on the mattress.
- 77. I think you've been cheated.
- 78. Where the hell are you from, private?
- 79. - Sir, Texas, sir.
- Holy dogshit. Texas?
- 80. Only steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy.
- 81. And you don't much look like a steer to me,
so that kind of narrows it down.
- 82. - Do you suck dicks?
- Sir, no, sir.
- 83. - Are you a peter puffer?
- Sir, no, sir.
- 84. I'll bet you would fuck
a person in the ass...
- 85. and not even have the goddamn common
courtesy to give him a reach around.
- 86. I'll be watching you.
- 87. Did your parents have any children
- 88. - Sir, yes, sir.
- I'll bet they regret that.
- 89. You're so ugly you could be
a modern-art masterpiece.
- 90. - What's your name, fat-body?
- Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
- 91. Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia?
- 92. - Sir, no, sir.
- That name sounds like royalty. You royalty?
- 93. - Sir, no, sir.
- Do you suck dicks?
- 94. - Sir, no, sir.
- Bullshit. I'll bet you could suck a golf ball...
- 95. through a garden hose.
- Sir, no, sir.
- 96. I don't like the name Lawrence.
- 97. Only faggots and sailors
are called Lawrence.
- 98. - From now on you're Gomer Pyle.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 99. Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle?
You think I'm funny?
- 100. - Sir, no, sir.
- Wipe that disgusting grin off your face.
- 101. Sir, yes, sir.
- 102. Well, any-fucking-time, sweetheart.
- 103. - Sir, I'm trying, sir.
- Private Pyle, I'll give you three seconds...
- 104. exactly three fucking seconds...
- 105. to wipe that stupid-looking grin
off your face...
- 106. or I will gouge out your eyeballs
and skull-fuck you.
- 107. One. Two. Three.
- 108. - Sir, I can't help it, sir.
- Bullshit. Get on your knees, scumbag.
- 109. Now choke yourself.
- 110. Goddamn it, with my hand, numb-nuts.
- 111. Don't pull my fucking hand over there.
I said, choke yourself.
- 112. Now lean forward and choke yourself.
- 113. - Are you through grinning?
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 114. Bullshit. I can't hear you.
- 115. Sir, yes, sir.
- 116. Bullshit. I still can't hear you.
Sound off like you've got a pair.
- 117. Sir, yes, sir.
- 118. That's enough. Get on your feet.
- 119. Pyle, you had best square your ass away
and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links...
- 120. or I will definitely fuck you up.
- 121. Sir, yes, sir.
- 122. Left, right, left, right
left, right, left.
- 123. Left, right, left, right, left.
- 124. Left, right, left, right, left...
- 125. Parris Island, South Carolina...
- 126. the United States Marine Corps
- 127. An eight-week college
for the phony-tough and the crazy-brave.
- 128. Mama and Papa were laying in bed
- 129. Mama and Papa were laying in bed
- 130. Mama rolled over
And this is what she said
- 131. Mama rolled over, this is what she said
- 132. - Oh, give me some, give me some
- Oh, give me some, give me some
- 133. - P. T.
- P. T.
- 134. - P. T.
- P. T.
- 135. - Good for you
- Good for you
- 136. - And good for me
- And good for me
- 137. - Good
- 138. Up in the morning to the rising sun
- 139. Up in the morning to the rising sun
- 140. Gonna run all day till the running's done
- 141. Gonna run all day till the running's done
- 142. Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch
- 143. Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch
- 144. Got the blue balls, crabs
And the seven-year itch
- 145. Got the blue balls, crabs
And the seven-year itch
- 146. Left, right, left, right, left.
- 147. Your left shoulder.
- 148. Left, right, left. Port.
- 149. Left, right. Attack. Halt.
- 150. Left shoulder.
- 151. Private Pyle, what are you trying to do
to my beloved Corps?
- 152. - Sir, I don't know, sir.
- You are dumb, Private Pyle...
- 153. but do you expect me to believe
that you don't know left from right?
- 154. - Sir, no, sir.
- Then you did that on purpose.
- 155. - You wanna be different.
- Sir, no, sir.
- 156. - What side was that, Private Pyle?
- Sir, left side, sir.
- 157. - Are you sure, Private Pyle?
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 158. - What side was that, Private Pyle?
- Sir, right side, sir.
- 159. Don't fuck with me again, Pyle.
- 160. Pick up your fucking cover.
- 161. Sir, yes, sir.
- 162. Your left shoulder.
- 163. Left, right, left. Port.
- 164. Left shoulder.
- 165. Your right shoulder.
- 166. Left, right, left, right.
Your left shoulder.
- 167. Left, two, three, four.
- 168. Your right shoulder.
- 169. Tonight you pukes will sleep
with your rifles.
- 170. You will give your rifle a girl's name.
- 171. Because this is the only pussy
you people are going to get.
- 172. Your days of finger-banging
old Mary Jane Rottencrotch...
- 173. through her purty pink panties
- 174. You're married to this piece.
- 175. This weapon of iron and wood.
- 176. And you will be faithful.
- 177. Arms.
- 178. Prepare to mount.
- 179. Mount.
- 180. Port.
- 181. Pray.
- 182. This is my rifle.
- 183. There are many like it,
but this one is mine.
- 184. My rifle is my best friend.
- 185. It is my life.
- 186. I must master it
as I must master my life.
- 187. Without me, my rifle is useless.
- 188. Without my rifle, I am useless.
- 189. I must fire my rifle true.
- 190. I must shoot straighter than my enemy,
who is trying to kill me.
- 191. I must shoot him before he shoots me.
- 192. I will.
- 193. Before God, I swear this creed.
- 194. My rifle and myself are defenders
of my country.
- 195. We are the masters of our enemy.
- 196. We are the saviors of my life.
- 197. So be it until there is no enemy,
- 198. Amen.
- 199. Arm.
- 200. At ease.
- 201. Good night, ladies.
- 202. Good night, sir.
- 203. - Hit it, sweetheart.
- Sir, aye, aye, sir.
- 204. Right shoulder.
- 205. That is not
your daddy's shotgun, Cowboy.
- 206. Left shoulder.
- 207. Move the rifle around your head,
not your head around the rifle.
- 208. Port.
- 209. Four inches from your chest, Pyle.
- 210. This is my rifle, this is my gun
- 211. This is for fighting, this is for fun
- 212. This is my rifle, this is my gun
- 213. This is for fighting, this is for fun
- 214. This is my rifle, this is my gun
- 215. This is for fighting, this is for fun
- 216. This is my rifle, this is my gun
- 217. This is for fighting, this is for fun
- 218. This is my rifle, this is my gun
- 219. This is for fighting, this is for fun
- 220. You're bouncing.
- 221. Ten fucking seconds.
- 222. It should take you no less than 10
fucking seconds to negotiate this obstacle.
- 223. Quickly, move it out.
- 224. There ain't one swinging-dick private
in this platoon's gonna graduate...
- 225. until they can get this obstacle down
to less than 10 fucking seconds.
- 226. Next two privates. Quickly.
- 227. Get over that goddamn obstacle. Move it.
- 228. Next two privates. Quickly.
- 229. Hurry up. Get up there.
- 230. - Private Joker, are you a killer?
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 231. Let me hear your war cry.
- 232. Next two privates, go. Quickly.
- 233. Get your fat ass over there, Private Pyle.
- 234. Oh, that's right, Private Pyle.
- 235. Don't make any fucking effort
to get up to the top of the fucking obstacle.
- 236. If God wanted you up there, he would have
miracled your ass up by now, wouldn't he?
- 237. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Get your fat ass up there, Pyle.
- 238. - Sir, yes, sir.
- What is the matter with you?
- 239. I'll bet if there was some pussy up there on
top of that obstacle, you could get up there.
- 240. - Couldn't you?
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 241. Your ass looks like about 150 pounds
of chewed bubble gum. Do you know that?
- 242. Sir, yes, sir.
- 243. One for the commandant.
- 244. One for the Corps.
- 245. Get up there. Pull.
- 246. I guess the Corps don't get theirs.
Get up there, Pyle.
- 247. Pull. Pull, Pyle, pull.
- 248. One pull-up, Pyle. Come on, pull.
- 249. You gotta be shitting me, Pyle.
Get your ass up there.
- 250. Do you mean to tell me that you cannot
do one single pull-up?
- 251. You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle.
Get out of my face.
- 252. Get up there, Snowball.
- 253. Get up here, fat-boy.
- 254. Quickly. Move it up.
Move it up, Pyle. Move it up.
- 255. You climb obstacles like old people fuck.
Do you know that, Private Pyle?
- 256. Get up here. You're too slow.
Move it. Move it.
- 257. Private Pyle, whatever you do,
don't fall down.
- 258. That would break my fucking heart.
- 259. Quickly. Up and over. Up and over.
- 260. Well, what in the fuck are you waiting for,
- 261. Get up and over.
Move it, move it, move it.
- 262. Are you quitting on me?
- 263. Well, are you?
- 264. Then quit, you slimy fucking
walrus-looking piece of shit.
- 265. Get the fuck off of my obstacle.
- 266. Get the fuck down off of my obstacle.
- 267. Now. Move it.
- 268. I'm gonna rip your balls off so you
cannot contaminate the rest of the world.
- 269. I will motivate you, Private Pyle...
- 270. if it short-dicks every cannibal
on the Congo.
- 271. Pick them up and set them down, Pyle.
- 272. Quickly. Move it out.
- 273. Were you born a fat, slimy,
scumbag puke piece of shit, Private Pyle?
- 274. Or did you have to work on it?
- 275. Move it up. Quickly. Hustle up.
- 276. The fucking war will be over by the time
we get out there, won't it, Private Pyle?
- 277. Move it.
- 278. Are you going to fucking die, Pyle?
Are you going to die on me?
- 279. Do it now.
- 280. Move it up. Hustle it up.
Quickly, quickly, quickly.
- 281. Do you feel dizzy?
- 282. Do you feel faint?
- 283. Jesus H. Christ,
I think you've got a hard-on.
- 284. Quickly, ladies. Assholes and elbows.
Move it out.
- 285. Get up here.
- 286. Move it. Move it, move it, move it.
- 287. Quickly.
- 288. Quickly. Get up here.
Hurry up. Move it out.
- 289. Reveille. Reveille. Reveille.
- 290. Drop your cocks and grab your socks.
- 291. Today is Sunday.
Divine worship at 0800.
- 292. Get your bunks made
and get your uniforms on.
- 293. Police call will commence
in two minutes.
- 294. Private Cowboy, Private Joker.
- 295. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 296. As soon as you finish your bunks,
I want you two turds to clean the head.
- 297. - Sir, aye, aye, sir.
- I want that head so sanitary...
- 298. that the Virgin Mary herself would be
proud to go in there and take a dump.
- 299. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 300. Private Joker, do you believe
in the Virgin Mary?
- 301. Sir, no, sir.
- 302. Well, Private Joker,
I don't believe I heard you correctly.
- 303. Sir, the private said, "No, sir," sir.
- 304. Why, you little maggot.
You make me wanna vomit.
- 305. You goddamn communist heathen.
Sound off that you love the Virgin Mary...
- 306. or I'm gonna stomp your guts out.
- 307. Now, you do love the Virgin Mary,
- 308. Sir, negative, sir.
- 309. Private Joker,
are you trying to offend me?
- 310. Sir, negative, sir.
- 311. Sir, the private believes that
any answer he gives will be wrong...
- 312. and the senior drill instructor will
beat him harder if he reverses himself, sir.
- 313. Who's your squad leader, scumbag?
- 314. Sir, the private's squad leader
is Private Snowball, sir.
- 315. Private Snowball.
- 316. Sir, Private Snowball
reporting as ordered, sir.
- 317. Private Snowball, you're fired.
Private Joker is promoted to squad leader.
- 318. - Sir, aye, aye, sir.
- Disappear, scumbag.
- 319. - Sir, aye, aye, sir.
- Private Pyle.
- 320. - Sir, Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir.
- From now on...
- 321. Private Joker is your new squad leader
and you will bunk with him.
- 322. He'll teach you everything.
- 323. - He'll teach you how to pee.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 324. Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant,
but he's got guts and guts is enough.
- 325. Now, you ladies, carry on.
- 326. Sir, aye, aye, sir.
- 327. The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver.
- 328. Operating-rod handle.
- 329. Operating-rod guide.
- 330. And the left one over the right.
- 331. Right one over the left.
- 332. Left one over the right.
- 333. The right one over the left.
- 334. Just throw your other leg over.
- 335. Attaboy.
- 336. That's it. Now just pull the next one over
and you're home free.
- 337. Ready?
- 338. Just throw it over.
- 339. Attaboy.
- 340. Set it down.
- 341. All right?
- 342. There you go.
- 343. Congratulations, Leonard.
- 344. You did it.
- 345. Fold the blanket
and the sheet back together.
- 346. Make a four-inch fold.
- 347. Okay? Got it?
- 348. You do it.
- 349. Right shoulder.
- 350. Your left shoulder.
- 351. Port.
- 352. Order.
- 353. Your right shoulder.
- 354. Square these weapons away.
- 355. My Corps' arms should be
parallel to the...
- 356. The deadliest weapon in the world...
- 357. is a Marine and his rifle.
- 358. It is your killer instinct
which must be harnessed...
- 359. if you expect to survive in combat.
- 360. Your rifle is only a tool.
- 361. It is a hard heart that kills.
- 362. If your killer instincts
are not clean and strong...
- 363. you will hesitate
at the moment of truth.
- 364. You will not kill.
- 365. You will become dead-Marine.
- 366. And then you will be in a world of shit.
- 367. Because Marines...
- 368. are not allowed to die
- 369. Do you maggots understand?
- 370. Sir, yes, sir.
- 371. I love working for Uncle Sam
- 372. I love working for Uncle Sam
- 373. Lets me know just who I am
- 374. Lets me know just who I am
- 375. One, two, three, four
United States Marine Corps
- 376. One, two, three, four
United States Marine Corps
- 377. One, two, three, four
I love the Marine Corps
- 378. One, two, three, four
I love the Marine Corps
- 379. - My Corps
- My Corps
- 380. - Your Corps
- Your Corps
- 381. - Our Corps
- Our Corps
- 382. - Marine Corps
- Marine Corps
- 383. I don't know, but I've been told
- 384. I don't know, but I've been told
- 385. Eskimo pussy is mighty cold
- 386. Eskimo pussy is mighty cold
- 387. - Good
- 388. - Feels good
- Feels good
- 389. - Is good
- Is good
- 390. - Real good
- Real good
- 391. - Tastes good
- Tastes good
- 392. - Mighty good
- Mighty good
- 393. - Good for you
- Good for you
- 394. - Good for me
- Good for me
- 395. Trim them.
- 396. Toe jam.
- 397. Pop that blister.
- 398. Jesus H. Christ.
- 399. Private Pyle,
why is your footlocker unlocked?
- 400. Sir, I don't know, sir.
- 401. Private Pyle, if there is one thing
in this world that I hate...
- 402. it is an unlocked footlocker.
You know that, don't you?
- 403. - Sir, yes, sir.
- Lf it wasn't for dickheads like you...
- 404. there wouldn't be thievery
in the world, would there?
- 405. - Sir, no, sir.
- Get down.
- 406. Well, now, let's just see
if there's anything missing.
- 407. Holy Jesus.
- 408. What is that?
- 409. What the fuck is that?
- 410. What is that, Private Pyle?
- 411. Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir.
- 412. - A jelly doughnut?
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 413. - How did it get here?
- Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir.
- 414. Is chow allowed in the barracks,
- 415. - Sir, no, sir.
- Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts?
- 416. - Sir, no, sir.
- And why not, Private Pyle?
- 417. Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir.
- 418. - Because you are a disgusting fat-body.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 419. Then why did you hide a jelly doughnut
in your footlocker, Private Pyle?
- 420. Sir, because I was hungry, sir.
- 421. Because you were hungry.
- 422. Private Pyle has dishonored himself...
- 423. and dishonored the platoon.
- 424. I have tried to help him,
but I have failed.
- 425. I have failed
because you have not helped me.
- 426. You people have not given Private Pyle...
- 427. the proper motivation.
- 428. So from now on,
whenever Private Pyle fucks up...
- 429. I will not punish him.
- 430. I will punish all of you.
- 431. And the way I see it, ladies...
- 432. you owe me for one jelly doughnut.
- 433. Now get on your faces.
- 434. Open your mouth.
- 435. They're paying for it, you eat it.
- 436. Ready, exercise.
- 437. One, two, three, four
- 438. I love the Marine Corps
- 439. One, two, three, four
- 440. I love the Marine Corps
- 441. One, two, three, four
- 442. I love the Marine Corps
- 443. One, two, three, four
- 444. I love the Marine Corps
- 445. One, two, three, four...
- 446. You really look like shit today, Leonard.
- 447. Joker.
- 448. Everybody hates me now.
- 449. Even you.
- 450. Nobody hates you, Leonard.
- 451. You just keep making mistakes.
- 452. Getting everybody in trouble.
- 453. I can't do anything right.
- 454. I need help.
- 455. I'm trying to help you, Leonard.
- 456. I'm really trying.
- 457. Tuck your shirt in.
- 458. One, two, three, 19.
- 459. One, two, three, 20.
- 460. One, two, three, 21.
- 461. One, two, three, 22.
- 462. One, two, three, 23.
- 463. One, two, three, 24.
- 464. One, two, three, 25.
- 465. One, two, three, 26.
- 466. One, two, three, 27.
- 467. One, two, three, 28.
- 468. One, two, three, 29.
- 469. One, two, three, 30.
- 470. Do it.
- 471. Do it.
- 472. Remember, it's just a bad dream, fat-boy.
- 473. Port.
- 474. Left shoulder.
- 475. Right shoulder.
- 476. Port.
- 477. Do we love our beloved Corps, ladies?
- 478. Semper fi, do or die.
Gung ho. Gung ho. Gung ho.
- 479. What makes the grass grow?
- 480. Blood, blood, blood.
- 481. What do we do for a living, ladies?
- 482. Kill, kill, kill.
- 483. I can't hear you.
- 484. Kill, kill, kill.
- 485. Bullshit. I still can't hear you.
- 486. Kill, kill, kill.
- 487. Do any of you people know
who Charles Whitman was?
- 488. None of you dumb-asses knows?
- 489. Private Cowboy.
- 490. Sir, he was that guy who shot all those
people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir.
- 491. That's affirmative.
Charles Whitman killed 12 people...
- 492. from a 28-story observation tower
at the University of Texas.
- 493. From distances of up to 400 yards.
- 494. Anybody know
who Lee Harvey Oswald was?
- 495. Private Snowball.
- 496. Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir.
- 497. That's right.
And do you know how far away he was?
- 498. Sir, he was pretty far.
From that book-suppository building, sir.
- 499. All right, knock it off.
- 500. Two hundred and fifty feet.
- 501. He was 250 feet away
and shooting at a moving target.
- 502. Oswald got off three rounds with an old
Italian bolt-action rifle in only six seconds...
- 503. and scored two hits,
including a head shot.
- 504. Do any of you people know where
these individuals learned how to shoot?
- 505. Private Joker.
- 506. Sir, in the Marines, sir.
- 507. In the Marines. Outstanding.
- 508. Those individuals showed what one
motivated Marine and his rifle can do.
- 509. And before you ladies leave my island...
- 510. you will all be able
to do the same thing.
- 511. Today...
- 512. is Christmas.
- 513. There will be a magic show at 0930.
- 514. Chaplain Charlie will tell you...
- 515. about how the free world
will conquer communism...
- 516. with the aid of God and a few Marines.
- 517. God has a hard-on for Marines...
- 518. because we kill everything we see.
- 519. He plays his games...
- 520. we play ours.
- 521. To show our appreciation
for so much power...
- 522. we keep heaven packed
with fresh souls.
- 523. God was here before the Marine Corps.
- 524. So you can give your heart to Jesus...
- 525. but your ass belongs to the Corps.
- 526. Do you ladies understand?
- 527. - Sir, yes, sir.
- I can't hear you.
- 528. Sir, yes, sir.
- 529. It's been swabbed and brushed.
- 530. Everything...
- 531. is clean.
- 532. Beautiful.
- 533. So that it slides perfect.
- 534. Nice.
- 535. Everything clean.
- 536. Oiled.
- 537. So that your action is beautiful.
- 538. Smooth Charlene.
- 539. Leonard talks to his rifle.
- 540. Yeah.
- 541. I don't think Leonard
can hack it anymore.
- 542. I think Leonard's a Section Eight.
- 543. It don't surprise me.
- 544. I wanna slip my tube steak
into your sister.
- 545. What will you take in trade?
- 546. What do you got?
- 547. Outstanding, Private Pyle.
- 548. I think we finally found
something that you do well.
- 549. Sir, yes, sir.
- 550. What's your sixth general order?
- 551. Sir, the sixth general order
is to receive and obey...
- 552. and pass on to the sentry
who relieves me...
- 553. all orders...
- 554. Sir, the private's sixth general...
- 555. The private has been instructed
but does not know.
- 556. You slimy scumbag,
get on your face and give me 25.
- 557. Sir, aye, aye, sir.
- 558. How many counts in that movement
you just executed?
- 559. - Sir, four counts, sir.
- What's the idea of looking in the chamber?
- 560. Sir, to guarantee the private is not giving
the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir.
- 561. What's your fifth general order?
- 562. Sir, the fifth general order is to quit my post
only when properly relieved, sir.
- 563. What's this weapon's name,
- 564. Sir, the private's weapon's name
is Charlene, sir.
- 565. Private Pyle, you are definitely
- 566. Hell, I may even allow you to serve
as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.
- 567. Sir, yes, sir.
- 568. I don't want no teenage queen
- 569. I don't want no teenage queen
- 570. I just want my M14
- 571. I just want my M14
- 572. If I die in a combat zone
- 573. If I die in a combat zone
- 574. Box me up and ship me home
- 575. Box me up and ship me home
- 576. Pin my medals upon my chest
- 577. Pin my medals upon my chest
- 578. Tell my mom I done my best
- 579. Tell my mom I done my best
- 580. Graduation is only a few days away...
- 581. and the recruits of Platoon 3092
- 582. They are ready to eat their own guts
and ask for seconds.
- 583. The drill instructors are proud to see
that we are growing beyond their control.
- 584. The Marine Corps does not want robots.
- 585. The Marine Corps wants killers.
- 586. The Marine Corps wants to build
- 587. Men without fear.
- 588. Today, you people are
no longer maggots.
- 589. Today, you are Marines.
- 590. You 're part of a brotherhood.
- 591. From now on, until the day you die...
- 592. wherever you are...
- 593. every Marine is your brother.
- 594. Most of you will go to Vietnam.
- 595. Some of you will not come back.
- 596. But always remember this:
- 597. Marines die.
- 598. That's what we're here for.
- 599. But the Marine Corps lives forever...
- 600. and that means you live forever.
- 601. - Peckett.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 602. 0300, Infantry.
- 603. - Toe Jam.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 604. 0300, Infantry.
- 605. - Adams.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 606. 1800, Engineers.
- 607. You go out and find mines.
- 608. - Cowboy.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 609. 0300, Infantry.
- 610. - Taylor.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 611. 0300, Infantry.
- 612. - Joker.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 613. 4212, Basic Military Journalism.
- 614. You gotta be shitting me, Joker.
- 615. You think you're Mickey Spillane?
- 616. You think you're some kind
of fucking writer?
- 617. Sir, I wrote for
my high school newspaper, sir.
- 618. Jesus H. Christ.
You're not a writer, you're a killer.
- 619. A killer, yes, sir.
- 620. Gomer Pyle.
- 621. - Gomer Pyle.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 622. You forget your fucking name?
0300, Infantry. You made it.
- 623. - Perkins.
- Sir, yes, sir.
- 624. Our last night on the island.
- 625. I draw fire watch.
- 626. Hi, Joker.
- 627. Are those live rounds?
- 628. Seven-six-two millimeter.
- 629. Full metal jacket.
- 630. Leonard...
- 631. if Hartman comes in here
and catches us...
- 632. we'll both be in a world of shit.
- 633. I am...
- 634. in a world...
- 635. of shit.
- 636. Left shoulder.
- 637. Right shoulder.
- 638. Lock and load.
- 639. Order.
- 640. This is my rifle.
- 641. There are many like it,
but this one is mine.
- 642. My rifle is my best friend.
It is my life.
- 643. Get back in your bunks.
- 644. What is this Mickey Mouse shit?
- 645. What in the name of Jesus H. Christ
are you animals doing in my head?
- 646. Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk
after lights out?
- 647. Why is Private Pyle
holding that weapon?
- 648. Why aren't you stomping
Private Pyle's guts out?
- 649. Sir, it is the private's duty
to inform the senior drill instructor...
- 650. that Private Pyle has a full magazine
and has locked and loaded, sir.
- 651. Now you listen to me, Private Pyle...
- 652. and you listen good.
- 653. I want that weapon...
- 654. and I want it now.
- 655. You will place that rifle
on the deck at your feet...
- 656. and step back away from it.
- 657. What is your major malfunction,
- 658. Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you
enough attention when you were a child?
- 659. Easy, Leonard.
- 660. Go easy, man.
- 661. No!
- 662. Hey, baby.
- 663. You got girlfriend Vietnam?
- 664. Not just this minute.
- 665. Well, baby, me so horny.
- 666. Me so horny.
- 667. Me love you long time.
- 668. You party?
- 669. Yeah, we might party.
- 670. - How much?
- Fifteen dollar.
- 671. - Fifteen dollars for both of us.
- No. Each you $15.
- 672. Me love you long time.
- 673. Me so horny.
- 674. Fifteen dollar too beaucoup.
- 675. - Five dollars each.
- Me sucky-sucky.
- 676. Me love you too much.
- 677. Five dollars is all my mom
allows me to spend.
- 678. Okay. Ten dollar each.
- 679. What do we get for $10?
- 680. Everything you want.
- 681. - Everything?
- 682. Well, old buddy, feel like spending
some of your hard-earned money?
- 683. Just a minute.
- 684. You know, half these gook whores
are serving officers in the Vietcong.
- 685. The other half have got TB.
- 686. Be sure you only fuck
the ones that cough.
- 687. That little sucker really had
some moves on him, didn't he?
- 688. Yeah.
- 689. You know what really pisses me off
about these people?
- 690. What?
- 691. We're supposed to be helping them, and
they shit all over us every chance they get.
- 692. I just can't feature that.
- 693. Don't take it too hard, Rafterman.
It's just business.
- 694. I hate Da Nang, Joker.
I wanna go out into the field.
- 695. I've been in country
almost three months...
- 696. and all I do is take handshake shots
at award ceremonies.
- 697. You'd get wasted your first day in the field
and it'd be my fault.
- 698. A high school girl could do my job.
- 699. I wanna get out into the shit.
- 700. I wanna get some trigger time.
- 701. If you get killed, your mom will find me
after I rotate back to the world...
- 702. and she'll beat the shit out of me.
- 703. That's a negative, Rafterman.
- 704. Okay, guys. Let's keep it short and sweet
today. Anybody got anything new?
- 705. There's a rumor going around that
the Tet ceasefire is gonna be canceled.
- 706. Rear-echelon paranoia.
- 707. A bro in intelligence says Charlie might try
to pull off something big during Tet.
- 708. They say the same thing every year.
- 709. There's a lot of talk about it, sir.
- 710. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
- 711. The Tet holiday is like the Fourth of July,
Christmas and New Year all rolled into one.
- 712. Every zipperhead in Nam,
North and South, will be banging gongs...
- 713. barking at the moon
and visiting his dead relatives.
- 714. Right. Ann-Margret
and entourage are due here next week.
- 715. I want someone on the airfield
and stick with her for a couple of days.
- 716. - Rafterman, you take it.
- Aye, aye, sir.
- 717. And get some good low-angle stuff.
- 718. Don't make it too obvious,
but I wanna see fur and early-morning dew.
- 719. - Yes, sir.
- "Diplomats in dungarees.
- 720. Marine engineers lend a helping hand
rebuilding Dong Phuc village recently..."
- 721. Chili, if we move Vietnamese,
they are evacuees...
- 722. if they come to us to be evacuated,
they are refugees.
- 723. I'll make a note of it, sir.
- 724. "NVA soldier deserts
after reading pamphlets.
- 725. A young North Vietnamese Army regular,
who realized his side could not win...
- 726. deserted from his unit after reading
Open Arms pamphlets."
- 727. That's good, Dave. But why say
North Vietnamese Army regular?
- 728. Is there an irregular?
How about North Vietnamese Army soldier?
- 729. I'll fix it up, sir.
- 730. Lawrence Welk Show
is out on TV in two weeks.
- 731. Dave, do 100 words on it.
- 732. - AFTV will give you some background stuff.
- 733. "Not while we're eating.
- 734. NVA learned Marines
on a search-and-destroy mission...
- 735. don't like to be interrupted
while eating chow."
- 736. Search-and-destroy. We have a new
directive from MAF on this.
- 737. In future, in place of search-and-destroy,
substitute the phrase sweep-and-clear.
- 738. - Sweep-and-clear, got it?
- Got it. Very catchy.
- 739. And, Joker, where's the weenie?
- 740. Sir?
- 741. The kill, Joker. The kill. I mean, all that fire,
the grunts must have hit something.
- 742. Didn't see them.
- 743. Joker, I've told you,
we run two basic stories here.
- 744. Grunts who give half their pay to buy
gooks toothbrushes and deodorants.
- 745. Winning of hearts and minds. Okay?
- 746. And combat action that results in a kill.
Winning the war.
- 747. Now, you must have seen blood trails.
- 748. It was raining, sir.
- 749. Well, that's why God passed
the law of probability.
- 750. Now rewrite it and give it
a happy ending. Say, one killed.
- 751. Make it a sapper or an officer. Which?
- 752. Whichever you say.
- 753. Grunts like reading about dead officers.
- 754. Okay, an officer. How about a general?
- 755. Joker...
- 756. maybe you'd like our guys
to read the paper and feel bad.
- 757. I mean, in case you didn't know it,
this is not a very popular war.
- 758. Now, it is our job to report the news...
- 759. that these why-are-we-here
civilian newsmen ignore.
- 760. Sir, maybe you should go out
on some ops yourself.
- 761. I'm sure you could find a lot more
blood trails and drag marks.
- 762. Joker, I've had my ass in the grass.
- 763. Can't say I liked it much.
- 764. Lots of bugs and too dangerous.
- 765. As it happens, my present duties
keep me where I belong...
- 766. in the rear with the gear.
- 767. Tet. The year of the monkey.
- 768. Vietnamese Lunar New Year's Eve.
- 769. Down in Dogpatch, the gooks are
shooting off fireworks to celebrate.
- 770. I am fucking bored to death, man.
- 771. I gotta get back in the shit.
- 772. I ain't heard a shot fired
in anger in weeks.
- 773. Joker's so tough...
- 774. he'd eat the boogers
out of a dead man's nose...
- 775. then ask for seconds.
- 776. Listen up, pilgrim.
- 777. A day without blood is
like a day without sunshine.
- 778. Shit.
- 779. Joker thinks the bad bush is between
an old mama-san's legs.
- 780. He's never been in the shit.
- 781. It's hard to talk about it, man.
It's like on Hastings.
- 782. You weren't on
Operation Hastings, Payback.
- 783. - You weren't even in country.
- Eat shit and die...
- 784. you fucking Spanish-American.
You fucking pogue.
- 785. I was there, man.
- 786. I was in the shit with the grunts.
- 787. Don't listen to
any of Payback's bullshit, Rafterman.
- 788. Sometimes he thinks he's John Wayne.
- 789. You listen to Joker, new guy.
- 790. He knows ti ti.
- 791. Very little.
- 792. You know he's never been in the shit.
He ain't got the stare.
- 793. - The stare?
- The thousand-yard stare.
- 794. A Marine gets it after he's been
in the shit for too long.
- 795. It's like...
- 796. It's like you're really seeing beyond.
- 797. I got it.
- 798. All field Marines got it.
- 799. And you'll have it too.
- 800. I will?
- 801. Hey, Payback...
- 802. how do you stop five black dudes
from raping a white chick?
- 803. - Fuck you, Stork.
- Throw them a basketball.
- 804. - Incoming.
- Oh, shit.
- 805. Them are outgoing.
- 806. - That ain't outgoing.
- That ain't outgoing.
- 807. Now, what did I just say?
- 808. Hey, I hope they're just fucking with us.
- 809. - I ain't ready for this shit.
- 810. Cease fire.
- 811. - Cease fire.
- Cease fire.
- 812. Cease fire.
- 813. The enemy...
- 814. has very deceitfully...
- 815. taken advantage
of the Tet ceasefire...
- 816. to launch an offensive
all over the country.
- 817. So far, we've had it pretty easy here.
- 818. But we seem to be the exception.
- 819. Charlie has hit every major military target
in Vietnam and hit them hard.
- 820. In Saigon the United States Embassy
has been overrun by suicide squads.
- 821. - Shit.
- Jesus Christ, man.
- 822. Khe Sanh is standing by to be overrun.
- 823. We also have reports
that a division of NVA...
- 824. has occupied all of the city of Hue
south of the Perfume River.
- 825. In strategic terms,
Charlie's cut the country in half...
- 826. the civilian press
are about to wet their pants...
- 827. and we've heard even Cronkite's
gonna say the war is now unwinnable.
- 828. In other words...
- 829. it's a huge shit sandwich
and we're all gonna have to take a bite.
- 830. Sir.
- 831. Does this mean that Ann-Margret's
- 832. Joker, I want you
to get straight up to Phu Bai.
- 833. Captain January will need all his people.
- 834. - Yes, sir.
- And, Joker...
- 835. you will take off that damn button.
- 836. How's it gonna look if you get killed
wearing a peace symbol?
- 837. Sir.
- 838. Permission to go with Joker?
- 839. - Permission granted.
- Thank you, sir.
- 840. Sir, permission not to take
Rafterman with me?
- 841. You still here?
- 842. Vanish, Joker, most ricky-tick,
and take Rafterman with you.
- 843. You're responsible for him.
- 844. Get some.
- 845. Get some.
- 846. Get some. Get some. Yeah. Yeah.
- 847. Get some. Get some.
Come on. Come on.
- 848. Get some.
- 849. Get some, baby.
- 850. Get some. Get some. Get some.
- 851. Get some. Get some, come on.
Get it, come on.
- 852. Get some. Get some. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 853. I've got you, mother.
- 854. Anyone who runs is a VC.
- 855. Anyone who stands still...
- 856. is a well-disciplined VC.
- 857. You guys ought to do a story
about me sometime.
- 858. Why should we do a story about you?
- 859. Because I'm so fucking good.
- 860. That ain't no shit neither.
- 861. I've done got me 157 dead gooks killed.
- 862. And 50 water buffaloes too.
- 863. Them are all certified.
- 864. Any women or children?
- 865. Sometimes.
- 866. How can you shoot women and children?
- 867. Easy.
- 868. You just don't lead them so much.
- 869. Ain't war hell?
- 870. Top, we wanna get in the shit.
- 871. Down the road. Two-Five.
- 872. Two-Five. Outstanding. Thanks, Top.
- 873. Excuse me.
- 874. Sir.
- 875. We're looking for 1st Platoon,
- 876. I got a bro named Cowboy there.
- 877. You people one-one?
- 878. No, sir.
We're reporters from Stars and Stripes.
- 879. - Stars and Stripes?
- Yes, sir.
- 880. I'm Cowboy's platoon commander.
- 881. Cowboy's just down the road
in the platoon area.
- 882. - You mind if we tag along, sir?
- No problem. Welcome aboard.
- 883. By the way, my name's Schinoski.
Walter J. Schinoski.
- 884. My people call me Mr. Touchdown.
- 885. I played ball for Notre Dame.
- 886. - Notre Dame?
- 887. - All right.
- You here to make Cowboy famous?
- 888. Never happen, sir.
- 889. Well, if you people came looking for a story,
this is your lucky day.
- 890. We got Condition Red
and we're definitely expecting rain.
- 891. Outstanding, sir.
We taking care of business?
- 892. Well, the NVA are dug in deep.
- 893. Hotel Company's still working
this side of the river...
- 894. street by street and house by house.
- 895. Charles definitely
got his shit together...
- 896. but we're still getting
some decent kills here.
- 897. We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about
the NVA executing a lot of gook civilians.
- 898. That's affirmative.
- 899. I saw some bodies about a half a klick
this side of Phu Cam Canal.
- 900. Will you show me where, sir?
- 901. Here's the canal.
- 902. The dead have been covered with lime.
- 903. The dead know only one thing:
- 904. It is better to be alive.
- 905. Excuse me?
- 906. - Good morning, lieutenant.
- 907. I make it 20.
Is that the official body count, sir?
- 908. What outfit are you men with?
- 909. Sir, we're reporters
from Stars and Stripes.
- 910. - Oh, I see.
- I'm Sergeant Joker...
- 911. and this photographer is Rafterman.
- 912. I'm Lieutenant Cleves
and I'm from Hartford, Connecticut.
- 913. - Have you got a body count, sir?
- We think it's 20.
- 914. Do you know how it happened, sir?
- 915. Well, it seems the NVA came in
with a list of gook names.
- 916. Government officials, policemen,
ARVIN officers, school teachers.
- 917. They went around
to their houses real polite...
- 918. and asked them to report
the next day for political reeducation.
- 919. Everybody who turned up got shot.
- 920. Some they buried alive.
- 921. Ready.
- 922. Colonel.
- 923. Marine, what is that button
on your body armor?
- 924. A peace symbol, sir.
- 925. - Where did you get it?
- I don't remember, sir.
- 926. What is that written on your helmet?
- 927. Born to kill, sir.
- 928. You write born to kill on your helmet
and wear a peace button.
- 929. What's that supposed to be,
some kind of sick joke?
- 930. - No, sir.
- What is it supposed to mean?
- 931. I don't know, sir.
- 932. - You don't know much.
- No, sir.
- 933. Get your head and your ass wired together
or I will take a shit on you.
- 934. - Yes, sir.
- Now answer my question...
- 935. or you'll be standing tall
before the man.
- 936. I was trying to suggest something
about the duality of man, sir.
- 937. - The what?
- The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
- 938. - Whose side are you on, son?
- Our side, sir.
- 939. - You love your country?
- Yes, sir.
- 940. How about getting with the program.
- 941. Jump on the team and come on in
for the big win.
- 942. Yes, sir.
- 943. All I've asked of my Marines is for them to
obey my orders as they would God's word.
- 944. We are here to help the Vietnamese...
- 945. because inside every gook
there is an American trying to get out.
- 946. It's a hardball world, son.
- 947. We've gotta try to keep our heads
until this peace craze blows over.
- 948. Aye, aye, sir.
- 949. Hey, bro. We're looking for 1st Platoon,
- 950. Around the back.
- 951. - First Platoon?
- Yeah, through there.
- 952. Hey, Lone Ranger.
- 953. - Holy shit. It's the Joker.
- You old motherfucker.
- 954. What's happening?
- 955. Thought I hoped I'd never see you again,
you piece of shit.
- 956. What's happening, man?
- 957. Oh, just waiting to get back
to the land of the big PX.
- 958. Yeah? Well, why go back?
- 959. Here or there, samey-same.
- 960. - Been getting any?
- Only your sister.
- 961. Well, better my sister than my mom,
though my mom's not bad.
- 962. Hey, you Hogs, listen up.
- 963. This is my bro, Joker, from the Island,
and this is?
- 964. - Rafterman.
- 965. They're from Stars and Stripes.
They'll make you famous.
- 966. - Fucking A.
- 967. We're the Lusthog Squad.
- 968. We're life-takers and heartbreakers.
- 969. We shoot them full of holes
and fill them full of lead.
- 970. You a photographer?
- 971. No, I'm a combat correspondent.
- 972. Oh, you seen much combat?
- 973. Well, I've seen a little on TV.
- 974. You're a real comedian.
- 975. Well, they call me the Joker.
- 976. Well, I got a joke for you.
- 977. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.
- 978. Well, pilgrim...
- 979. only after you eat the peanuts
out of my shit.
- 980. You talk the talk.
- 981. Do you walk the walk?
- 982. Now, you might not believe it...
- 983. but under fire, Animal Mother's one of
the finest human beings in the world.
- 984. All he needs is somebody to throw
hand grenades at him the rest of his life.
- 985. That's a roger, come on.
Sit down. Come on, new guy.
- 986. Hey, jungle-bunny.
- 987. Thank God for the sickle cell, huh?
- 988. Yeah, Mother.
- 989. Hey, photographer.
- 990. You wanna take a good picture?
- 991. Here, man.
- 992. Take this.
- 993. This is my bro.
- 994. This is his party.
- 995. He's the guest of honor.
- 996. Today is his birthday.
- 997. Happy birthday, zipperhead.
- 998. I will never forget this day.
- 999. The day I came to Hue City
and fought 1 million NVA gooks.
- 1000. I love the little commie bastards, man,
I really do.
- 1001. These enemy grunts are as hard
as slant-eyed drill instructors.
- 1002. These are great days we're living, bros.
- 1003. We are jolly green giants,
walking the earth with guns.
- 1004. These people we wasted here today...
- 1005. are the finest human beings
we will ever know.
- 1006. After we rotate back to the world...
- 1007. we're gonna miss not having
anyone around who's worth shooting.
- 1008. - Stay put, keep your heads down.
- Stay put.
- 1009. Stay put.
- 1010. Shit.
- 1011. Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.
- 1012. Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.
- 1013. Delta Six.
- 1014. Delta Six, we are receiving incoming fire
from the vill.
- 1015. The lieutenant is down.
- 1016. We're going to stop here
and check out what's in front of us. Over.
- 1017. Okay, Lusthog Squad, listen up.
- 1018. Gonna move up these roads
and check the vill.
- 1019. I want the third team up this road here.
- 1020. First and second fire team behind me
up this other road, okay?
- 1021. Let's go. Let's get it done.
- 1022. Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
- 1023. Hey, start the cameras.
This is Vietnam: The Movie.
- 1024. Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne,
I'll be a horse.
- 1025. - T. H. E. Rock can be a rock.
- I'll be Ann-Margret.
- 1026. Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.
- 1027. - I'll be General Custer.
- Who'll be the Indian?
- 1028. Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians.
- 1029. You're going home now.
- 1030. Semper fi.
- 1031. We're mean Marines, sir.
- 1032. Go easy, bros.
- 1033. Better you than me.
- 1034. Well, at least they died
for a good cause.
- 1035. What cause was that?
- 1036. Freedom.
- 1037. Flush out your headgear, new guy.
- 1038. You think we waste gooks for freedom?
- 1039. This is a slaughter.
- 1040. If I'm gonna get my balls
blown off for a word...
- 1041. my word is poon tang.
- 1042. Tough break for Hand Job.
- 1043. He was all set
to get shipped out on a medical.
- 1044. What was the matter with him?
- 1045. He was jerking off 10 times a day.
- 1046. It's no shit. At least 10 times a day.
- 1047. Last week he was sent down to Da Nang
to see the Navy head shrinker.
- 1048. The crazy fucker starts jerking off
in the waiting room.
- 1049. Instant Section Eight.
- 1050. He was just waiting
for his papers to clear Division.
- 1051. You ready? Turn over.
- 1052. Hue City interviews, roll 34.
- 1053. Well, like... Like you see, you know,
it's a major city...
- 1054. so we have to assault with tanks,
we roll in the streets.
- 1055. So they send us in first to squat...
- 1056. make sure that there are no little...
- 1057. No Vietnamese waiting with B-40 rockets
to blow the tanks away.
- 1058. So we clear it out
and we roll the tanks in...
- 1059. and basically blow the place to hell.
- 1060. When we're in Hue,
when we're in Hue City...
- 1061. it's like a war, you know...
- 1062. like what... What...
- 1063. What I thought about a war,
what I thought a war was...
- 1064. You know, was supposed to be.
- 1065. There's the enemy, you kill them.
- 1066. I don't think there's any question about it.
I mean, we're the best.
- 1067. I mean, all that bullshit
about the Air Cav...
- 1068. When the shit hits the fan,
who do they call?
- 1069. They call Mother Green
and her killing machine.
- 1070. Do I think America belongs in Vietnam?
- 1071. I don't know.
I belong in Vietnam, I'll tell you that.
- 1072. Can I quote LBJ?
- 1073. "I will not send American boys...
- 1074. 8 or 10,000 miles
around the world...
- 1075. to do a job that Asian boys
ought to be doing for themselves."
- 1076. Personally think they don't really
want to be involved in this war...
- 1077. you know, I mean, like they...
It's sort of like...
- 1078. they took away our freedom
and gave it to the gookers, you know.
- 1079. But they don't want it.
- 1080. They'd rather be alive than free, I guess,
- 1081. Poor, dumb bastards.
- 1082. Well, the ones I'm fighting at
are some pretty... Pretty bad boys.
- 1083. I'm not real...
- 1084. I'm not real keen
on some of these fellas...
- 1085. that are supposedly on our side.
- 1086. I keep meeting them
coming the other way.
- 1087. Yeah.
- 1088. I mean, we're getting killed
for these people...
- 1089. and they don't even appreciate it.
- 1090. They think it's a big joke.
- 1091. Well, if you ask me...
- 1092. we're shooting the wrong gooks.
- 1093. Well, it depends on the situation.
I mean, I'm here to take combat photos.
- 1094. But if the shit gets too thick,
I mean, I'll go to the rifle.
- 1095. What do I think about
America's involvement in the war?
- 1096. Well, I think we should win.
- 1097. I hate Vietnam.
- 1098. There's not one horse
in this whole country.
- 1099. They don't have one horse in Vietnam.
- 1100. There's something
basically wrong with that.
- 1101. Well, if they'd send us
more guys, maybe...
- 1102. and bomb the hell out of the North,
they might give up.
- 1103. I wanted to see exotic Vietnam,
the jewel of Southeast Asia.
- 1104. I wanted to meet interesting and
stimulating people of an ancient culture...
- 1105. and kill them.
- 1106. I wanted to be the first kid on my block
to get a confirmed kill.
- 1107. Ten-hut.
- 1108. - All right.
- My, oh, my.
- 1109. - Good morning, little schoolgirl.
- Look at this lady.
- 1110. I'm a little schoolboy too.
- 1111. My, my, my.
- 1112. - What you got there, chief?
- Do you want number one fucky?
- 1113. Hey, any of you boys
want number one fucky?
- 1114. I'm so horny,
I can't even get a piece of hand.
- 1115. - Me want sucky.
- Sucky, fucky, smoke cigarette in her pussy.
- 1116. She give you everything you want,
- 1117. Everything you want.
Hey, how much there, chief?
- 1118. - Fifteen dollars each.
- 1119. Fifteen dollar beaucoup money.
- 1120. Five dollar each.
- 1121. Come on, she love you good.
- 1122. Boom-boom long time.
- 1123. - Ten dollars.
- Five dollars.
- 1124. No. Ten dollars.
- 1125. Be glad to trade you some ARVIN rifles.
- 1126. Ain't never been fired
and only dropped once.
- 1127. Okay, $5. You give me.
- 1128. - Okay, okay.
- All right.
- 1129. Let's get mounted.
- 1130. Something wrong there, chief?
- 1131. She says no boom-boom
with soul brother.
- 1132. What the motherfuck?
- 1133. She says soul brother too beaucoup,
- 1134. What is this, man?
- 1135. I think what he's trying to tell you
is you black boys pack too much meat.
- 1136. Too beaucoup, too beaucoup.
- 1137. Oh, shit.
- 1138. This baby-san looks like she could
suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
- 1139. She say too beaucoup, too beaucoup.
- 1140. Excuse me, ma'am.
- 1141. What we have here, little yellow sister...
- 1142. is a magnificent specimen
of pure Alabama blacksnake.
- 1143. But it ain't too goddamn beaucoup.
- 1144. Okay, okay.
- 1145. Okay, okay.
- 1146. All right. Yeah. This is my boogie.
- 1147. - Hey, we need a batting order.
- I'm going first.
- 1148. Back off, white bread.
Don't get between a dog and his meat.
- 1149. All fucking niggers must fucking hang.
- 1150. - Hey, Animal, man.
- You son of a...
- 1151. Hey, hey, I won't be long.
I'll skip the foreplay.
- 1152. - I don't want it after you, man.
- Fuck you.
- 1153. Intelligence passed the word down...
- 1154. that during the night
the NVA had pulled out of our area...
- 1155. to positions across the Perfume River.
- 1156. Our squad is sent on patrol
to check out the report.
- 1157. Face outboard and take cover. Do it.
- 1158. Shit.
- 1159. He ain't gonna make it.
- 1160. Shit.
- 1161. Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy.
- 1162. Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy.
- 1163. Hotel One. Over.
- 1164. Murph, this is Cowboy.
- 1165. Crazy's hit. Booby trap.
- 1166. Wait, One.
- 1167. Okay. You're senior NCO, Cowboy.
You're in charge.
- 1168. - Continue with the patrol...
- 1169. and call in at the next checkpoint.
- 1170. Roger. Out.
- 1171. I ' m squad leader.
- 1172. Follow you anywhere, scumbag.
- 1173. All right.
- 1174. He's dead.
- 1175. Cowboy.
- 1176. What's up?
- 1177. I think we made a mistake
at the last checkpoint.
- 1178. Here, see what you think.
- 1179. I think we're here...
- 1180. and we should be here.
- 1181. - We're here?
- 1182. - We should be here?
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
- 1183. Fuck.
- 1184. What do you think?
- 1185. Well, I think we should change direction.
- 1186. Okay.
- 1187. We'll change direction.
- 1188. What's up?
- 1189. Changing direction.
- 1190. What are we, lost?
- 1191. Joker, shut the fuck up.
- 1192. Okay, listen up.
- 1193. - Can you hear me?
- 1194. Okay, we're changing direction.
- 1195. We're heading over that way.
- 1196. Eightball's gonna go over there
and see can he find a way through.
- 1197. - Got it?
- Got it.
- 1198. Eightball, let's dance.
- 1199. Put a nigger behind the trigger.
- 1200. Fuck.
- 1201. Cease fire.
- 1202. Cease fire, goddamn it.
- 1203. Cool it, goddamn it. Cool it. Cease fire.
- 1204. - Hold it.
- Cease fire.
- 1205. - Cease fire.
- Cease fire.
- 1206. Okay, listen up. Did anybody see a sniper?
Did anybody see anything?
- 1207. Anybody see a sniper?
- 1208. - Nothing.
- 1209. Okay, then save your ammo.
Nobody fire till I tell you.
- 1210. Eightball.
- 1211. No, no. Cease fire. Cease fire.
- 1212. Animal, cease fire.
- 1213. Cowboy, it's Sergeant Murphy.
- 1214. This is Cowboy. Over.
- 1215. This is Murphy.
What is your present position? Over.
- 1216. Murph, we're receiving enemy sniper fire.
- 1217. Eightball is down.
- 1218. Our position is about half a klick
north of Checkpoint Four.
- 1219. Believe possible strong enemy forces
occupying buildings in front of us.
- 1220. Request immediate tank support. Over.
- 1221. Roger. Understand.
- 1222. I'll see what I can do. Over.
- 1223. Roger. Over and out.
- 1224. - Stay close.
- Got it.
- 1225. Okay, listen up.
I think we're being set up for an ambush.
- 1226. I think there may be strong enemy forces
in those buildings over there.
- 1227. I've requested tank support.
- 1228. We're gonna sit tight till it comes,
but keep your eyes open.
- 1229. If they decide to hit us,
we'll have to pull back fast.
- 1230. Goddamn it. Halt.
Cease your fire, Mother.
- 1231. - Cease your fucking fire.
- 1232. - What?
- We can't leave him out there.
- 1233. We're not leaving him,
we'll get him when the tank comes up.
- 1234. He's hit three fucking times.
He can't wait that long.
- 1235. I seen this before.
- 1236. That sniper's just trying to suck us in,
one at a time.
- 1237. Goddamn it. No.
- 1238. - Goddamn it, cease fire. Cease fire.
- Man, fuck this...
- 1239. Fuck this shit.
I'm going in to bring him out.
- 1240. - No, you sit the fuck down, goddamn it.
- Cover me.
- 1241. Cease fire, he's there.
Cease fire, he's there.
- 1242. Cease fire.
- 1243. Hold your fire.
- 1244. Hold your fire.
- 1245. Cease fire, you can't see the sniper.
- 1246. Save the ammo.
Nobody fire till I tell you. Nobody.
- 1247. Hold your fire.
- 1248. What the fuck do we do now, Cowboy?
- 1249. Give me that fucking radio.
- 1250. Murph? This is Cowboy. Over.
- 1251. This is Murphy. Over.
- 1252. Murph, we're in some deep shit.
I got two men down.
- 1253. What's the story
on that fucking tank? Over.
- 1254. Sorry, Cowboy.
No luck so far with the tank.
- 1255. Will advise. Over.
- 1256. Roger. Out.
- 1257. Numb-nut bastards.
- 1258. - Okay, listen up.
- Listen up.
- 1259. Can't afford to wait for the tank.
- 1260. I think they're gonna hit us any minute.
- 1261. When they do,
we won't have time to pull out.
- 1262. We gotta do it now.
Let's get ready to move.
- 1263. - Ready to pull out.
- Wait a minute. Hold it.
- 1264. Hold it, nobody's pulling out.
There's only one sniper there.
- 1265. Back off, Mother.
- 1266. I'm calling the plays.
I say we're pulling out.
- 1267. Well, what about Doc Jay and Eightball?
- 1268. I know it's a shitty thing to do,
but we can't refuse to accept the situation.
- 1269. We're not leaving
Doc Jay and Eightball out there.
- 1270. Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted.
- 1271. - You know that.
- Bullshit. Come on, you guys.
- 1272. We gotta bring them back.
Let's get them, let's do it.
- 1273. Stand down, Mother.
That's a direct order.
- 1274. Fuck you, Cowboy.
Fuck all you assholes.
- 1275. - Goddamn it.
- Fucking son of a bitch.
- 1276. You motherfucker.
- 1277. Doc. Doc. Doc.
- 1278. Where's the sniper?
- 1279. Doc, where's the sniper?
- 1280. Shit.
- 1281. Shit. Fuck.
- 1282. Fuck.
- 1283. Hey, Cowboy.
- 1284. Yeah?
- 1285. Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted.
- 1286. There's only one sniper, nothing else.
- 1287. Move up the squad,
you're clear up to here.
- 1288. Come on.
- 1289. Son of a bitch.
- 1290. - Okay, listen up.
- Listen up.
- 1291. No-Doze, Stutten, Donlon, Rock,
you come with me, we'll take a look.
- 1292. The rest of you all stay put
and cover our ass.
- 1293. We may be coming back in a big hurry.
- 1294. - I'm going with you.
- I'm coming too.
- 1295. Okay.
- 1296. - You all set?
- 1297. Let's move out.
- 1298. Let's do it.
- 1299. Hey, Cowboy.
- 1300. Top of the black building,
around the corner.
- 1301. Donlon, give me that radio.
- 1302. Murphy, this is Cowboy. Over.
- 1303. - Cowboy.
- Holy shit. That sniper's got a clean shot.
- 1304. Get him the fuck out of here.
- 1305. - I ain't got a first aid.
- I don't believe this shit.
- 1306. - Give me your hand.
- Shut up.
- 1307. - Take it easy, Cowboy.
- Don't move.
- 1308. - Shit.
- That son of a bitch.
- 1309. - You'll be all right.
- You're going home.
- 1310. - Shut up.
- Don't shit me.
- 1311. You know I'm not gonna shit you, man.
You're my favorite turd.
- 1312. Come on. Easy.
- 1313. Here you go.
- 1314. - Cowboy.
- Hang on, man. Hang on.
- 1315. I can hack it. I can hack it.
- 1316. - I can hack it.
- You can hack it, man.
- 1317. Let's go get some payback.
- 1318. Okay.
- 1319. Okay.
- 1320. Watch that fucking hole.
- 1321. Throw some smoke.
- 1322. Okay, ready?
- 1323. Donlon, Rock, that way.
You two, with me.
- 1324. Joker, in there. New guy.
- 1325. We got the sniper.
- 1326. Joker?
- 1327. Yo.
- 1328. What's up?
- 1329. We got the sniper.
- 1330. I saved Joker's ass.
- 1331. I got the sniper.
- 1332. I fucking blew her away.
- 1333. Am I bad?
- 1334. Am I a life-taker? Am I a heartbreaker?
- 1335. What's she saying?
- 1336. She's praying.
- 1337. No more boom-boom for this baby-san.
- 1338. There's nothing we can do for her.
- 1339. She's dead meat.
- 1340. Okay.
- 1341. Let's get the fuck out of here.
- 1342. What about her?
- 1343. Fuck her.
- 1344. Let her rot.
- 1345. We can't just leave her here.
- 1346. Hey, asshole.
- 1347. Cowboy's wasted.
- 1348. You're fresh out of friends.
- 1349. I'm running this squad now...
- 1350. and I say we leave the gook
for the mother-loving rats.
- 1351. I'm not trying to run this squad.
- 1352. I'm just saying
we can't leave her like this.
- 1353. Shoot me.
- 1354. Shoot...
- 1355. me.
- 1356. Shoot...
- 1357. me.
- 1358. Shoot.
- 1359. Shoot.
- 1360. If you wanna waste her, go on...
- 1361. waste her.
- 1362. Shoot...
- 1363. me.
- 1364. Shoot me.
- 1365. Shoot...
- 1366. me.
- 1367. Shoot...
- 1368. me.
- 1369. Shoot.
- 1370. Shoot.
- 1371. Shoot.
- 1372. Shoot.
- 1373. Joker...
- 1374. we're gonna have to put you up
for the Congressional Medal of Ugly.
- 1375. Hard-core, man.
- 1376. Fucking hard-core.
- 1377. We have nailed our names
in the pages of history enough for today.
- 1378. We hump down to the Perfume River
to set in for the night.
- 1379. My thoughts drift back
to erect-nipple wet dreams...
- 1380. about Mary Jane Rottencrotch
and the great homecoming-fuck fantasy.
- 1381. I am so happy that I am alive...
- 1382. in one piece and short.
- 1383. I am in a world of shit, yes...
- 1384. but I am alive.
- 1385. And I am not afraid.