Frogman (2023)

1. All right, guys.

2. Go straight. Go straight.

3. - Yeah. Stop! - No one's gonna die today.

4. No one's gonna die.

5. This is the way.

6. Small town America at its finest, honey.

7. This is nice.

8. - Stop...

9. - What's so funny? - Having fun back there?

10. Yeah.

11. - Are you two fighting?

12. No, honey, they're not fighting.

13. They're not fighting. They're having fun.

14. - They're giggling. - Where are we going?

15. This is where life happens.

16. - Get your hands off it. - Hey, guys, look! The bridge!

17. Did you look? Did you see the bridge?

18. - Look at that. Look at that. - The bridge.

19. 13 feet, 2 inches.

20. Why are your shoes wet?

21. Your shoes are wet, Dallas.

22. - Just get out of the car. - Let's go.

23. Are my shoes actually wet?

24. No, don't listen to your father.

25. He's an idiot.

26. This is nice, right?

27. The weather is perfect. Yeah. Let's go down...

28. Let's go down by the river, you guys.

29. - Where's Dallas? - I think there's some—

30. - Can you see Dallas? - Come on, let's go.

31. Wow, that's so cool.

32. Be careful, the water...

33. Okay.

34. You're so concerned all the time.

35. Just don't... No.

36. - No. - What? What, honey?

37. What? We can't be here forever.

38. - We gotta get back on the road. Okay. All right.

39. - Stretch your legs, kids. - We'll take you up.

40. Just take in the sights.

41. Every... Did you guys see the bridge?

42. You saw the drawbridge, right?

43. - Yeah. - Okay. Hey, Dallas,

44. buddy, if you were any fish, what would you be?

45. What kind of fish?

46. - Shark. - Shark?

47. - Is a shark even a fish? - Did you say shark?

48. - Yes. - You'd be a shark?

49. - Shark's not a fish. - Yes, it is.

50. If you were anything, if you were an aquatic creature...

51. - Jellyfish. - Jellyfish?

52. So you can sting people?

53. - Mmm-hmm. Definitely. - With your sharp, teenage bitterness?

54. That's great.

55. Oh, look at those clouds, honey. Isn't that beautiful?

56. You're so pretty.

57. - So... - Kevin?

58. - Yeah. - Okay.

59. Okay. All right. You guys ready to go?

60. Tell me where we are!

61. - I know where we fucking are! - Dad.

62. - Just read the fucking map! - Whoa, little lady!

63. Lizzie Kyle, we do not speak like that in this family.

64. Dad just said, "Fuck."

65. - Oh, Lizzie. Come on. - Enough.

66. Haven't you gotten enough of Mom and Dad arguing?

67. Did you hear that?

68. What is that?

69. - What? - In there.

70. Oh, my God. Go grab Dad.

71. Cool.

72. What's up, y'all? Jeremy J here.

73. Raising skirts and IQs.

74. Welcome to another edition of Monster Soup.

75. Frogman. Said to be four feet in height with leathery skin.

76. He's been spotted wandering the woods of Loveland,

77. conducting rituals with his wand.

78. This wand has led to speculation that he could be an alien

79. with advanced technology.

80. But others say he is the river monster of native local legend.

81. This more mystical origin lends validation to the reports

82. that he may be telepathic and can infiltrate your mind.

83. Your mind, not Jeremy J's mind.

84. This is a steel trap.

85. Frogman entered the social zeitgeist in 1975

86. when this photo taken by Loveland local George Hale,

87. circulated in national papers.

88. The more infamous sighting took place in '99,

89. when a 10-year-old named Dallas Kyle

90. captured the footage we've all seen.

91. Oh, my God.

92. Is there a real Frogman?

93. Did Dallas Kyle actually capture the footage of it?

94. Let me think for a second.

95. Ding dong, dipsticks.

96. Jeremy J calls bullshit.

97. Bullshit.

98. Let's talk about the now 32-year-old Dallas Kyle.

99. He graduated with a degree in directing in 2011,

100. and since, he's apparently directed two short films.

101. For a 10-year-old, this is a pretty impressive hoax.

102. But it also seems like this is where Dallas Kyle's

103. filmmaking career seems to have peaked.

104. Anyways, that is the scoop on the soup...

105. This fucking guy.

106. I peaked...

107. What's your career, being a fucking troll?

108. You know what? I guarantee you.

109. You would be weeping,

110. and shitting yourself if you saw what I saw.

111. You dumb dick.

112. Today I start my search for Frogman.

113. But I can't do it alone, so...

114. Hey, Dallas.

115. How's it going, man?

116. Just eating some breakfast.

117. Breakfast?

118. I'd say it's more like lunch. It's 2:00 p.m. in the afternoon.

119. Well, I just woke up.

120. - So technically, it's my breakfast. - Yeah, hmm.

121. Froggy Pebbles. Nutritious...

122. Say, Lizzie told me that you were dating somebody.

123. Did she?

124. Yeah. I was.

125. We broke up.

126. Oh, man. I'm, I'm sorry to hear about that.

127. Um...

128. Hey, do you mind if we talk real quick?

129. Isn't that kind of what we're doing right now?

130. Well, it's about last night.

131. Ben, I know I was too loud.

132. - Yeah. - It won't happen again.

133. I'm really sorry.

134. I appreciate you guys letting me stay here for a little bit.

135. And frankly, I need to be more respectful.

136. I appreciate you saying that. I really do.

137. Um...

138. When Lizzie and I agreed to letting you stay here for a little bit...

139. um, it was more temporary.

140. But now it's been two years

141. that you've been in the guest room.

142. And, you know, I never put a hard date on kicking you out.

143. I just would never do that.

144. But it is now the time for you

145. to start considering, you know, a new place.

146. Let's see what we got here.

147. Now we're talking. Okay.

148. Oh, let's see.

149. Ooh!

150. There's my baby.

151. Hey, guys.

152. Shit!

153. What's up, guys? I just wanted to hop on here

154. and...

155. Just fucking hop on here. That's fucking stupid.

156. What's up, guys?

157. Hey, y'all.

158. Goddamn.

159. People keep saying that my Frogman footage is fake.

160. And that I'm a liar.

161. But I know what I saw that day.

162. And I'm going to get irrefutable proof

163. that the Frogman exists.

164. But I can't do it alone.

165. Lucky for me...

166. My best friend is also my cameraman.

167. And he's going to be joining me on this little adventure.

168. No.

169. No fucking way.

170. - Come on, Scotty. I need you. - Shooting a wedding this weekend.

171. - So... - You hate shooting weddings.

172. Yeah, but I like money.

173. I'll pay you.

174. You don't need me. You can operate that piece of shit yourself.

175. "Piece of shit"?

176. How dare you?

177. This is the camera. I got the original footage on.

178. It's symbolic.

179. Dallas, I know you're not familiar with the concept,

180. but I'm working.

181. So please, fuck off.

182. We can talk tomorrow at Amy's thing. All right?

183. What do you mean, "Amy's thing"? What thing?

184. Her going away party.

185. Going away party?

186. Where is she going?

187. I thought you knew. She's, uh...

188. She's moving to LA.

189. No, we we haven't really been talking.

190. Well, I think you should come.

191. Am I even invited?

192. I think I'm overdressed.

193. I don't know if this was a good dress.

194. Well, it's a going away party.

195. You look like you're dressed for a coke deal.

196. I'm kidding.

197. You look great. You look great.

198. There she is. Amy! Girl.

199. Hey, what's with the camera?

200. Oh, I have to document your last night.

201. - Oh, thank you. - Oh, you looking so good.

202. You too.

203. - Hey. - Hey. Hi.

204. Thanks... Thanks for coming.

205. Thanks for having us.

206. Yeah, of course.

207. - So nice to see you. - Good to see you.

208. Mmm. Scotty, I think we should just nick.

209. Stop being dramatic, all right?

210. We don't have to stay that long.

211. I just want to have, like, one drink.

212. One drink.

213. - Yeah, one drink. - Scotty.

214. Yes.

215. One drink.

216. Amy, we're so excited for you.

217. We know you're gonna be a big star.

218. Don't forget us when you get famous.

219. Yeah. Amy, you're making that big move to LA.

220. That's the one we're all trying to make here.

221. But most of us won't.

222. So good luck. Love you.

223. We're proud of you. We love you!

224. Well, I guess I should do one of these.

225. Hello.

226. Want some company?

227. Uh...

228. Yeah, you've been avoiding me.

229. No, I... I just didn't wanna interrupt your big party.

230. Yeah. No, I mean...

231. In general...

232. In general?

233. I don't... I don't recall you reaching out to me either.

234. When were you gonna tell me you were moving?

235. I did.

236. You told me you were thinking about it.

237. Yeah, and last month I went to LA

238. and met with talent agents, one signed me.

239. I think that my career has gone as far as it can go here.

240. What are you talking about? I see you in commercials all the time.

241. Yeah.

242. Yeah, local commercials.

243. I don't wanna do those for the rest of my life.

244. I want to do... movies.

245. Be in my movies.

246. Right, Dallas. Like, real movies.

247. You know?

248. No, no, no offense.

249. I wasn't...

250. Well...

251. I'm making a real movie.

252. Oh! Really?

253. Yeah.

254. Okay. About?

255. - Uh... - Frogman.

256. Oh, my God.

257. Driving up to Loveland tomorrow.

258. Hey, you left me.

259. We did not leave you, would never.

260. Uh, I thought he had left.

261. I'm sorry. I'm a little fucked up.

262. Little bit. What are you guys chatting about?

263. We're chatting about...

264. Frogman.

265. Well, speaking of Frogman, um,

266. is that offer still on the table for me to help you shoot that film?

267. Yeah.

268. - All right. Count me in. - Are you serious?

269. Yeah, I'm serious.

270. Okay, Scotty...

271. I'll do it. You know what?

272. Dude, I have nothing to lose.

273. If I have to shoot another fucking wedding video...

274. I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna lose it.

275. - I told you. - I can't do it.

276. You should come.

277. She should come.

278. Oh, you should come.

279. You guys, I... No, I just told you I've got a lot to pack.

280. Yeah, but can you imagine, like putting it on your reel? Like, Frogman?

281. What if I paid you?

282. You will pay me?

283. Pay me to just come with?

284. - Be the star of my movie.

285. - Right? - Yeah. Yeah.

286. Yeah, that's... Yes.

287. This is... This is fate.

288. This is fate.

289. - This is...

290. Hey, this thing's already recording.

291. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

292. - What do you say? - I guess I...

293. I can't let you two get lost in the woods without me.

294. - Yeah? - Yeah.

295. Wait. Is that a yes?

296. - Yes!

297. Oh, fuck! Fuck! Yes!

298. Holy shit!

299. The band is back together.

300. - Oh, my God. - Great.

301. - Oh... - Oh, my God.

302. We leave at 9:00.

303. - 9:00, like 9:00 a.m.? - Tomorrow. Yeah.

304. - In the morning? - In the morning, yeah.

305. Oh, my God.

306. No, no, I don't know.

307. You need to get your oil changed.

308. Fine, Dallas. Don't call me when you break down in the middle of nowhere.

309. Don't worry, I won't.

310. Are you recording this right now?

311. You are just like Dad.

312. Look. I get why you're doing this.

313. I get it. I get—

314. - Oh, do you get it? - You and me, Mom and Dad in Loveland.

315. Last big trip. I totally get it.

316. You've always romanticized that place.

317. - It's just... - That's not why I'm doing this.

318. Well, then, why?

319. Why do all this work to go to a little patch of dirt?

320. You... You saw it, too.

321. I have to do this.

322. If I don't, I'm gonna regret it the rest of my life.

323. Please understand that.

324. All right. Well, be careful then.

325. - Of course. It's me. - Right.

326. Well... Good morning, sunshine.

327. Rude.

328. Ooh, he's already filming! Wake up, wake up. Come on.

329. All right. All right.

330. In. In. In. Hand it to me. You're so slow.

331. Let's do this thing.

332. Come on. Go.

333. Would you... Thank you.

334. - Okay. We're in.

335. - Let's go. - We're so in.

336. So, what's my character?

337. You're not playing a character. Gonna be yourself.

338. It's a documentary.

339. Ugh, no.

340. That is no fun.

341. What if you're like a reporter trying to get your big break?

342. This is Amy Matheson reporting for Action News

343. live from the scene of the latest Frogman sighting.

344. What if I saw Frogman when I was a kid?

345. But no one believed me.

346. So, then, I am coming back 20 years later,

347. to prove he exists.

348. I don't know. It's a little pathetic.

349. You're writing an album about Frogman.

350. Oh... What kind of singer am I?

351. Um, country, of course.

352. Mmm. Country, of course.

353. Um, my name is Norma Jean Wynette,

354. born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee.

355. Oh, my God, I... I love it. I love it.

356. Except, you don't really look like a Norma Jean quite yet.

357. - We're not stopping. - Oh, come on.

358. - I'm Norma Jean. - I mean, you look good,

359. but I don't know if it's quite Norma Jean.

360. You wanna have an opinion too?

361. Dallas, you need a new suit?

362. No, I don't.

363. - Right.

364. - Hey, Daddy. Okay. All right. - Hey, Daddy.

365. - I think this one would scare the kids away. - That looks really good.

366. Thank you, Dallas.

367. - Think I could pull this off? - Oh, my God!

368. Oh, my God, that's it.

369. Holy shit! That's it.

370. Yeah, no, that's nice. Dallas.

371. Holy shit. That's it.

372. - I'm freaking out. I'm Norma Jean. I'm Norma Jean.

373. - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

374. - Oh, my God. - Hello, y'all.

375. My name is Norma Jean Wynette.

376. And I love me some Frogman.

377. Enough of those two goblins, am I right?

378. Look at a real man here.

379. Hey, Dallas, they've had enough of your mug.

380. - Well, Mr. Director. - What was that?

381. What happens when we get to Loveland?

382. Well, I want to start by interviewing people.

383. Hopefully get some firsthand accounts.

384. - Mmm-hmm. Okay? - And I want to talk to George Hale.

385. And who's that?

386. The other Frogman guy.

387. Oh...

388. Is he still alive even, or...

389. Yeah, I think so.

390. - This is all they had.

391. That's not coming in the car.

392. Sleeping, honey.

393. - Is he? - Yeah.

394. It's cute.

395. This is... This is fun, right?

396. This is like we're back at school, the three of us making a movie together.

397. Yeah, I missed this.

398. Oh, did you see that?

399. Oh, it looked crazy.

400. What does Ms. Chelsea think about your...

401. Your Frogman obsession.

402. We're not exactly together.

403. She dumped you?

404. Why does everyone assume she dumped me?

405. She did, right?

406. Yeah.

407. Did you tell her about us?

408. I may have mentioned something.

409. Okay, that is why she dumped you.

410. I mean, I guarantee if you had found out

411. that she had slept with her best guy friend

412. a few months before you guys got together.

413. I mean... You'd be freaked out, too.

414. Say something.

415. You have a point.

416. - No. - No.

417. We never really talked about that night.

418. We just kind of pretended like it didn't happen.

419. Well, um, it was a...

420. It was a mistake, I think, right?

421. I mean, don't you think?

422. Yeah.

423. Sure. Yeah, if that's... That's what you think.

424. Yeah, I agree.

425. Frankly, it really didn't mean anything to me.

426. So...

427. Oh, me neither.

428. Good.

429. - Uh... - Okay.

430. We're... We should be friends.

431. Yeah?

432. I'm glad we could talk about this.

433. Me, too.

434. Oh, my God! Dallas, let's stop!

435. Oh, my gosh! Norma Jean could stand next to the sign

436. - and just be like... Whoa, whoa, whoa! - No.

437. Dallas, you're no fun.

438. It'll take two seconds for me to put my stuff on.

439. It'll be like the perfect introduction.

440. Right?

441. Nope.

442. I'll play it... serious.

443. Howdy, y'all. My name is Norma Jean Wynette,

444. and it has been 20 long years

445. since I've been around these parts

446. and I have been hankering to see my old pal

447. Frogman again.

448. And cut.

449. Whoo! How was it?

450. Oh, my God, girl, you are incredible.

451. You were like born to play this role.

452. - Thanks. - Yeah.

453. Dallas...

454. Okay.

455. Don't worry. He'll be thanking us at the premiere

456. for making this shit actually watchable.

457. I hope so.

458. - Oh. - What the hell?

459. - Really? - Oh, my God... Stop filming.

460. You little shit!

461. Come on.

462. Dallas!

463. This place is kind of charming in its own way.

464. As soon as there's people near, I will be Norma.

465. - Yeah. - But right now we're, we're scouting, right?

466. - Yeah. - Should we get ice cream?

467. - Sure.

468. - Yeah. Are you buying? - I'd want some ice cream.

469. - That's a... - Yeah...

470. So no ice cream, then?

471. That's a no.

472. Hello, I saw you guys from across the street.

473. - You did? - Ooh. Famous.

474. I was watching you.

475. - Is that your camera? Yeah. - You were? That's kind of creepy.

476. You were right there. I was bored.

477. It's Reese's Peanut Butter cups.

478. He's being such a flirt.

479. Do you see that?

480. Zoom in, he's nervous.

481. I have a theory.

482. - Yeah? - Everyone's either a frog or they're a rat.

483. - Really? - Yeah, just like look at anyone.

484. And you can either say frog or rat. I'm a rat.

485. What am I?

486. I'd say rat.

487. I think.

488. - Really? Like a combination of the two? - I... I think...

489. Yeah, you're kind of difficult.

490. He is difficult.

491. Okay. They're gonna bring that out. The red door to your right.

492. - All right. Thank you so much. - Good luck finding the Frogman.

493. - Thank you. - Thanks.

494. - You were super nice to her. - We need a release form.

495. Kind of like the water.

496. Yeah, it's nice.

497. Breezy.

498. Hopefully, we get some nicer weather.

499. I know, right?

500. - You guys. - What?

501. Oh, shit!

502. He's so macho.

503. Okay.

504. Okay.

505. You look swole.

506. Was this your vision of your epic quest to find Frogman?

507. - This is pretty cool. You have to admit. - It is pretty cool.

508. Maybe we just call it quits after this.

509. So, Dallas, do you have anything to say

510. about, I don't know, your process and what you're...

511. what you're really trying to accomplish here.

512. Yeah. I want to hear that, too.

513. Mmm-hmm.

514. I want the world to know the truth.

515. - Okay. - About Frogman.

516. I want to inspire people.

517. Let's not give up.

518. Because I can't give up.

519. - Are you making faces? - No, I'm not.

520. Dallas coming too?

521. Oh, he's making his way.

522. This place is pretty cute.

523. Ooh, very nice.

524. Come here. Come here. This is a moment.

525. Practice my accent. Hello?

526. Hello? Hello?

527. Hello? Come on, Dallas.

528. Hello? Okay. Here, take this...

529. Let's get a room here.

530. - Hello? Well, hello there.

531. Welcome to the Bullfrog bed and breakfast.

532. Oh, boy. That's creepy.

533. Might we have a room for tonight... - Who needs Frogman?

534. and tomorrow night, purtty please.

535. So are you a Frogman fan?

536. You're kidding.

537. Frogman helps keep me in business.

538. Is that what brings you folks to town?

539. We're actually making a documentary.

540. Is that so?

541. Mmm-hmm.

542. You folks know where Frogman Point is?

543. No. Should we?

544. If you want a good look at him, I'd say so.

545. Best time to see him is around dusk.

546. And I serve breakfast every morning, 8:00 to noon.

547. - Mmm. - My name is Gretel.

548. And if you need anything, just call downstairs.

549. See you in my nightmares.

550. - Hey, girl. What's up? - Hello. Oops.

551. Dallas, thanks for the warm beer.

552. - Yeah, I... - Really appreciate that.

553. Cheers. Cheers. I have to get mine. Hold on.

554. Lager, lay-ger, lager, lager. Look at the frog buddy.

555. - Join us! - Come on!

556. Dance it out. Dance it out. You know you wanna.

557. Guys, I have to get ready for tomorrow, Okay?

558. Yeah. There's a time for pleasure.

559. - And there's a time for work. - Okay.

560. Oh, what?

561. Get it. Get it!

562. Trust the training, guys.

563. Oh, shit.

564. - Amy, you look beautiful. So cinematic, that is. - Beautiful.

565. Yeah.

566. - So gorgeous. - Okay.

567. - Dallas... - Oh, my God.

568. Dallas.

569. Wait. Who was in charge...

570. - What am I wearing? - ... of your wardrobe?

571. Oh, my God.

572. Holy shit, that's so good.

573. You know what happens.

574. Aw... It's the team.

575. - Oh, nice. - That shot actually looks pretty good.

576. Real...

577. Oh, yeah.

578. How's that? Is that okay?

579. Yep.

580. You don't have to do my hair. I can do my hair.

581. Hair case.

582. All right.

583. I gotta pee.

584. Um...

585. So I overheard your conversation in the car.

586. Very interesting.

587. You little shit.

588. I thought you were asleep.

589. Turns out you're not the only actor in the group.

590. Mmm...

591. I guess that I don't really see what the big deal was, though.

592. Like, when it happened, you were both single.

593. Were both consenting adults.

594. Like...

595. I guess I'm just surprised. it didn't happen sooner.

596. Oh, well, we both agreed that it was a mistake.

597. - Huh, really? - Hmm.

598. Because that is not what Dallas told me.

599. What did he tell you?

600. - Did he— - He basically—

601. What'd I miss?

602. - Nothing. - Not a thing.

603. I was just wondering, if you, you know... Do you believe in Frogman?

604. Yeah.

605. I believe in... Everyone fucking believes in Frogman.

606. So you said you've seen Frog—

607. Frogman can read minds.

608. Thank you very much.

609. - Thank... Do you... - Yeah.

610. I'm sorry. Okay. Do you have something to say about Frogman?

611. Yeah, he can read minds.

612. Okay, thank you.

613. Scotty, do you wanna...

614. Dallas, I think it's been going pretty well.

615. So I'm just wondering, is there any other questions that you want me to ask.

616. - I think maybe I should take over the interviews. - No.

617. - What? - Do us all a favor.

618. What, are you... Are you kidding?

619. No.

620. - Just... - Are you serious?

621. This is, like, serious. You know what I mean?

622. I think what you're doing is very charming.

623. Uh...

624. I'm not trying to be a butthole.

625. You're being a gaping butthole.

626. - Seriously? - Maybe I should take over.

627. All right. Cool. I just... I just look right there?

628. You know, I've never done this before.

629. It's cool. Cool stuff.

630. If you know anything about this...

631. a cult... sort of a cult following...

632. surrounding Frogman?

633. No, I'm not... I'm not in any cult, no.

634. No, not you.

635. I'm a... I'm... I'm a God-loving man.

636. I mean, like, what's this for?

637. - It's a documentary. - When's it gonna air?

638. It's not like... It's not gonna be on TV.

639. Like, no Discovery or shit?

640. Yeah, Frogman. Have you heard of him?

641. I'm sorry. How do you know this is a man?

642. I guess I don't.

643. That's a good point.

644. Can we agree that it's a frog?

645. Yeah, there's... you know, there's caves like all around underneath here,

646. but I mean, most of them are sealed up.

647. But, you know, my cousin and I, we... we know where to go.

648. - You seen my picture? - You bet.

649. You bet. I've seen the picture.

650. That... That's what put Loveland on the map.

651. I have pretty flat feet.

652. Right, so I'm a good swimmer.

653. These people could outswim anybody.

654. It is not safe to assume gender, but I hope you find them.

655. I'm told that he has a wand.

656. It's sort of an occult...

657. I don't know what it does.

658. Maybe that's how the impregnation happens. I don't know.

659. He has been known to take a maid here and there.

660. Are you saying Frogman fucks?

661. - Scotty, shut up. - Yeah...

662. So, Frogman fucks?

663. Yeah. Yeah, he does.

664. At least that's what I would I assume.

665. I don't really follow out,

666. you know, because I'm not in the bestiality thing.

667. But, you know... Yeah, yeah, he does.

668. Is he an ancient god?

669. Or is he an ancient alien, maybe?

670. Or is he a big frog trying to get his rocks off?

671. Who gives a shit?

672. Oh, shit. Look at this.

673. I think that is poison ivy.

674. Totally the caves that they were talking about.

675. Oh, okay.

676. - What are you... - Holy shit!

677. - What? - Hello?

678. What do you see?

679. This is a cave.

680. Are you going to go in? I'm not.

681. I'm not going in there.

682. Probably I am, yeah.

683. - Okay. Go for it. Bye. - Good luck in there, buddy.

684. I don't know if I can fit.

685. Excuse me. Where do you get your Frogman gear?

686. Oh, yeah, just from the Sticky Tongue gift shop down there.

687. - Sticky Tongue? - It's down the street on your left.

688. - That's great. - Thank you.

689. Oh, Scotty, look at this one.

690. Wonder if they have it in extra small.

691. Extra, extra small. Make it super tight for you.

692. This town's really out here making money off Frogman shit.

693. Hopefully they're THC gummies.

694. Oh, yes. Get high off this. Frogman mucus.

695. Hmm. Looks more like lube to me.

696. Aw, cute! Three little frogs, like the three of us.

697. Look, one of them has a broken wrist.

698. Hey, I'm Woody, a Frogman expert.

699. What are you guys doing? Shooting a movie or something?

700. Are you thirsty? Swamp water.

701. - I'm good. - Okay.

702. Maybe a jacket.

703. It'd keep you warm somewhat.

704. They're kind of...

705. Stickers for your lovely lady.

706. - Oh, well, no. - How romantic.

707. This right here is an authentic Frogman footprint

708. - Oh. - Casted it myself.

709. - Very cool. - What's this?

710. This is the Frogman flute.

711. This is what you can use the summon him.

712. Blow it a couple of times, he comes out.

713. Wow.

714. Well... Don't waste your money, Dallas.

715. There's that guy.

716. There's that guy there. Scotty, get him.

717. Get in, get in close. He's so...

718. But just don't draw attention.

719. What's in his hand?

720. - What's in his hand? - That is a frog.

721. He's got his hand up a frog's ass.

722. A frog with a...

723. - Tinfoil hat? - Oh, no. He sees us.

724. Hey!

725. Frogman will rise!

726. Okay, keep walking. Go, go!

727. - All right... Dallas. - Thank you!

728. That's gonna be you in five years.

729. - Got it, buddy. Thank you! - Yep. Good luck. Don't follow us. Thank you.

730. - What is this? - Froglord.

731. - Froglord? - Yeah.

732. This shit slaps.

733. - So you like... You actually like this? - Yeah. You... You don't?

734. Why are there so many cops?

735. - They're probably looking for you. - Okay.

736. Or they're looking for Frogman.

737. No, really.

738. I don't think that...

739. Like, the semen of Frogman and a female human...

740. That's gross.

741. That's... No that's like that... that... That can't even...

742. Does that even work?

743. Like frog to hu... No, no, that's not a thing.

744. - That would be like... - Maybe he's building an army.

745. Okay.

746. No, really. He might be interdimensional.

747. This might be some real life magic.

748. So is he a wizard?

749. I mean, maybe.

750. That's what we're gonna find out.

751. Um...

752. Parking's a bitch.

753. Can't see Frogman for free, apparently.

754. Shit. I'm sorry.

755. Do you...

756. I guess I'm getting paid $995 for this shoot.

757. - Dallas. - Thanks, buddy.

758. You would have had the $5 if you didn't buy that sweatshirt.

759. - Let me see it. - I had to get this sweatshirt.

760. Look at this. This is sick.

761. Get you two cuties in frame.

762. Ooh.

763. How you doing?

764. I am as full as a tick.

765. - So you can take on over. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

766. - Let's go. - Yeah, it's pretty heavy...

767. Cool it with the Norma Jean stuff.

768. - You want me to what? - Cool it with the Norma Jean stuff.

769. We're not even filming.

770. - Oh, yeah, I am. - We're filming.

771. "Cool it with the Norma Jean stuff."

772. One mile to go.

773. - Thanks, Norma. You're welcome.

774. I mean, you're welcome.

775. Dallas, do you think it's been a mile?

776. I'm kind of starting to lose some light here.

777. Just as I suspected, there goes our light.

778. Hey, Dallas! I can't see shit out here.

779. Turn on the night vision, bud.

780. Where the fuck is the night vision button?

781. All right. Okay. That's... That's working.

782. - There's also a light right there. - Is this it?

783. Yep, that's it. Thanks.

784. Dallas.

785. - Can you hear that? - Yeah.

786. Yeah.

787. Dallas, is that you?

788. Dallas?

789. - Shh.

790. Something's there.

791. - Dallas. - This is so typical.

792. I knew he was gonna pull this fucking bullshit on us.

793. God. - I didn't sign up for this.

794. - Dallas. - Dallas.

795. Where are you? I don't...

796. - Guys. - Fuck.

797. - Jesus! - What the fuck was that?

798. - This way. - You fucking body checked me?

799. We're finally here.

800. - Don't film me. Film the woods. - All right.

801. Filming the woods.

802. Look along the river.

803. Do you guys see anything?

804. Nope.

805. - What's that? - What?

806. Like, over there. I think I saw something move.

807. There's nothing there, Amy.

808. - Give me the camera. Give me the camera. - Oh, shit.

809. - Dallas. Dallas. - Wait.

810. There he goes.

811. I got you now.

812. No one believed me.

813. Well, they're gonna believe me now.

814. Oh, yeah.

815. Fuck you, Jeremy J.

816. I got you, you green son of a bitch.

817. Fuck!

818. Don't hurt me, man. Come on!

819. What the fuck is this?

820. It's a mask.

821. I know.

822. Why are you wearing it?

823. Because it's my job.

824. Okay. What? You're Frogman?

825. I knew you were no country singer!

826. Oh, my God.

827. - Okay. Where's the real Frogman?

828. There is no Frogman.

829. Bullshit. I saw it when I was a kid, before you were even born.

830. - Okay, Dallas, it's... - He's lying.

831. We do it to attract tourists.

832. And I get paid to run out here and scare people.

833. You're the only one crazy enough to fucking catch me.

834. Um...

835. Okay. Uh, Dallas, let's just, uh...

836. Let's just go back to the B&B and we can regroup, okay?

837. Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

838. Can I have my mask back?

839. Yeah. Here.

840. Thanks. No. What the fuck?

841. How am I gonna get that? It's in the fucking tree.

842. Jump and get it, Frogman.

843. Dallas, don't do anything stupid.

844. Stop.

845. Evening.

846. Did you folks make it out to Frogman Point?

847. Yeah. We saw your little show.

848. - Show? - Cut the shit, lady.

849. I saw Frogman as a kid, and what I saw wasn't some guy in a cheap suit.

850. I saw the real thing.

851. Turn that thing off.

852. - It's off. - No, it's not.

853. Okay. It's not recording.

854. I think it's time for you folks to head on home.

855. I think it's time you start telling the truth, because I'm not leaving

856. until I have proof that Frogman exists.

857. Let me put it another way.

858. Leave town while you still can.

859. - Are you threatening us? - We're through. Let's go.

860. Fuck that. No, I'm not leaving.

861. I'm not going anywhere until I fucking find Frog...

862. Where are we going?

863. To see George Hale.

864. Wait, what?

865. Dallas? No.

866. - Oh, shit. - Fuck.

867. Were you speeding?

868. No.

869. Dallas, are you sure you weren't speeding?

870. Pull the fucking car over, Dallas.

871. Okay.

872. Why is he pulling us over?

873. Evening, Officer.

874. License and registration.

875. Well, you're a long way from home, aren't you, Mr. Kyle?

876. Can you not shine that light in my face?

877. I hear you kids have been causing some trouble in town.

878. Yes, we're... We're sorry, Sheriff.

879. Well, where are you headed now?

880. We're just looking for Frogman.

881. You found Frogman, and you assaulted him.

882. - Assaulted? - And you threatened Gretel.

883. You're lucky I don't arrest all three of you right now.

884. - Uh, she threatened us. - Okay, Dallas...

885. Dallas, stop arguing with him.

886. Listen to your girlfriend, Mr. Kyle. She's smart.

887. Now, I'm going to make this very short and clear,

888. so you understand.

889. Go back to the Bullfrog, gather your stuff and go home, now.

890. Leave town.

891. Do I make myself clear?

892. Yes. Yes. We'll go straight home.

893. I'd like to hear it from him.

894. We're leaving.

895. Excellent choice.

896. You kids have a safe trip now.

897. Asshole.

898. All right. So this has clearly gone far enough.

899. Yeah.

900. Not until we talk to George Hale.

901. I... I'm sorry. Were you not just in here?

902. He said he'd arrest us.

903. Dallas, I know this is really important to you.

904. I really do.

905. But I'm begging you. Can we please just go home?

906. - Yes. - Thank God.

907. After we talk to George Hale.

908. - Dallas!

909. Oh, my God. Where are we going?

910. To jail, probably.

911. This is a bad idea.

912. Yeah, no shit.

913. Jesus.

914. Wait here.

915. No, Dallas. No.

916. - Oh, my God.

917. George!

918. Do not open that door.

919. Oh... my God. No.

920. - Hello? - What the fuck?

921. Any light in there?

922. Hello?

923. Jesus Christ!

924. Oh, God.

925. Guys, come on.

926. Is he out of his fucking mind?

927. No.

928. Now, how about right in here?

929. This will work great.

930. Aw! Who is this?

931. My granddaughter.

932. She's really pretty.

933. Don't touch anything.

934. Uh, George. If I can...

935. have you sit right here.

936. Scotty, how is this? Does it look all right?

937. Yeah, it's fine.

938. Scotty, how's the lighting?

939. One, two, or three?

940. Your hand is blocking the light.

941. How long is this gonna take?

942. - We're almost ready. Scotty, is that... - Just...

943. Stop touching it.

944. Your photo got a lot of attention, didn't it?

945. Yeah, I guess it did.

946. Me and a buddy were hunting mushrooms

947. over the other side of the river.

948. We ended up getting out a little farther than we planned.

949. Then it got dark.

950. Something didn't just...

951. It just didn't feel right out there in the woods.

952. We both sensed it. It was like...

953. we were being watched.

954. So we got the hell out of there.

955. We found our way back to our trucks finally, and...

956. I turned on my headlights...

957. and there he was, that green bastard staring right at me.

958. May I?

959. Yeah.

960. A lot of people appreciated all the tourism that it brought in.

961. Nowadays not so much.

962. Why not?

963. They have their reasons.

964. Did it have anything to do with...

965. people worshipping Frogman?

966. Who told you that?

967. Is it true?

968. I think I've said too much.

969. - Get out. - At least you got your interview. Let's go.

970. Yeah. Let's get the fuck out.

971. I need to find Frogman.

972. I know why you've kept this picture.

973. What the hell?

974. After tonight, none of it'll matter anyway.

975. Wait here.

976. What does...

977. What does that mean?

978. This will lead you to him.

979. - Thank you. - Now get out of my fucking house.

980. Come on.

981. This isn't a conversation anymore.

982. We needed George to find Frogman.

983. That's the goal.

984. He gave us a map.

985. Yeah, I saw it.

986. If we follow this map,

987. and it leads to nothing, then that's it.

988. I don't know what else to do.

989. But I have to at least look into this.

990. Last thing?

991. - Last thing. - Last thing.

992. Promise me... it's the last thing.

993. I promise you.

994. Both of you.

995. Okay, then let's go.

996. Wait. Dallas, what the fuck? Are we actually...

997. Are we actually staying out here?

998. Be on alert, guys.

999. Amy, we should get as much footage as we can with our phones.

1000. Scotty, don't stop shooting no matter what.

1001. Even if Frogman tries to eat you?

1002. Especially if Frogman tries to eat me.

1003. Where do you think he's taking us?

1004. The Frogman's lair?

1005. Hey... what's up?

1006. Nothing. I'm just jumpy.

1007. I thought you didn't even believe in Frogman?

1008. I don't.

1009. Amy...

1010. What's up?

1011. That George guy just gave me the creeps.

1012. - I mean, did you see... - Over here, quick!

1013. Hurry up.

1014. Come, check this out.

1015. - What? - You see that?

1016. - Um... - Look at that ooze.

1017. Ooze? It's sap.

1018. Yeah, sap doesn't smell like that.

1019. Look at the green, too.

1020. Um... Dallas, we're outside.

1021. There's a lot of green things.

1022. Yeah, that's right. We're dangerously close.

1023. - Okay, he's losing it. - Yeah, no shit.

1024. Whoa!

1025. - Are you good? - Yeah.

1026. I just... touched whatever that is.

1027. Let's set up camp here.

1028. I have a good feeling about this.

1029. Plan on giving us a hand?

1030. I'm sorry, guys. My hands are tied.

1031. Director told me to always be filming, so...

1032. The director.

1033. I'm glad you're listening to the director finally.

1034. Ooh. Okay.

1035. I remember my first campfire.

1036. Damn. Ow!

1037. Okay, I think I got something.

1038. I got it.

1039. I think the wood is too wet.

1040. I'll get some that's dry then.

1041. Don't wander off too far.

1042. She mad at me?

1043. You're just realizing this now?

1044. I should go talk to her.

1045. Wait, wait. No. Now is probably not a good time.

1046. Well, I didn't tell you what she said to me during the drive last night.

1047. What? That your night together was a big mistake?

1048. How do you know that?

1049. Because I see and hear everything.

1050. Pretty sneaky, Scotty.

1051. You need to tell her how you really feel before it's too late.

1052. You know?

1053. Okay, so just so we're on the same page.

1054. Is she saying it was not a mistake?

1055. Is that what you're saying?

1056. All right. I need to take a catnap.

1057. Why don't you wake me when Frogman shows. Okay?

1058. Are you encouraging this?

1059. I mean...

1060. All right. We're gonna try this thing out.

1061. Wake up, Scotty.

1062. Come on, I found something. Let's go.

1063. Where's Amy?

1064. Are you recording?

1065. Yeah, yeah, of course.

1066. Check this out.

1067. Whoa!

1068. Holy shit.

1069. - How does the shot look? - It looks good.

1070. Are you getting all this?

1071. Yeah, I'm getting... You know what?

1072. This is why I don't want to shoot for you anymore.

1073. Fucking asshole.

1074. Scotty, wait! Hold up. Can you please talk to me?

1075. No, I'm fucking done.

1076. It's this attitude...

1077. This is why you never get hired.

1078. This is why you're gonna be shooting weddings

1079. and working at a coffee shop for the rest of your life.

1080. At least I have a job.

1081. I'm not freeloading off my fucking sister.

1082. I should have never contacted you.

1083. What is this?

1084. Holy shit!

1085. That's the slime from the tree.

1086. - Amy? - He was here.

1087. He was fucking here.

1088. Holy shit!

1089. - Amy? - Is she in there?

1090. Amy!

1091. - Fuck! - Amy! Amy!

1092. Amy!

1093. Amy!

1094. Amy?

1095. Scotty, I found her.

1096. Amy!

1097. Oh, shit! Amy!

1098. Amy? Amy!

1099. Amy? Amy?

1100. Are you okay?

1101. Where am I?

1102. You're in the woods.

1103. What the hell happened?

1104. I was getting firewood, and then I... I heard someone calling my name. I...

1105. I heard it in my head.

1106. Holy shit.

1107. Amy, you went looking for wood over an hour ago.

1108. No. No, I didn't. It was like a minute ago.

1109. Ah! There you are.

1110. Are you fucking with me?

1111. - What? - Scotty, how long have I been gone?

1112. Maybe an hour.

1113. Do you hear that?

1114. It's him. It's him.

1115. Give me the cam. Give me the cam.

1116. Amy, get your phone out, start shooting.

1117. See anything?

1118. - No. - No.

1119. This way.

1120. - Dallas... - No, no!

1121. Running out of road here.

1122. Oh, shit.

1123. Dallas! Dallas?

1124. Where are you?

1125. Oh, God!

1126. Dallas, where'd you go?

1127. - Dallas! - Over here.

1128. Dallas!

1129. Dallas, this camera is fucked.

1130. It's freaking out.

1131. His powers are probably causing telekinetic interference.

1132. - What? - He's trying to get in our heads.

1133. I can't let him get away.

1134. What the fuck is that smell, Dallas?

1135. - You okay?

1136. No.

1137. Over there. Over there.

1138. - Dallas! - What?

1139. Dallas! Oh, my God! Are you okay?

1140. I'm fine.

1141. This tape's almost full, man.

1142. Change the tapes, quick!

1143. Okay, I'm recording this.

1144. Shit. I only have one percent left.

1145. Scotty, turn the light on.

1146. What the fuck is your plan, Dallas?

1147. I don't think he has one.

1148. - We're gonna catch him. - How?

1149. How are we gonna fucking catch him?

1150. How are we gonna catch him?

1151. Shit! It died.

1152. Scotty, turn on the light.

1153. Yeah, I'm trying. This thing's a fucking antique.

1154. Fuck!

1155. Oh, shit!

1156. Fuck!

1157. - Fucking thing.

1158. Fucking thing.

1159. - Oh, shit.

1160. No, no.

1161. No! No, no, no!

1162. Scotty! Scotty, are you okay? We heard you screaming.

1163. Let's play catch up later.

1164. Scotty, I need to see the footage.

1165. Let's see the fucking assholes say this is a hoax.

1166. Scotty, I love you.

1167. Thank you.

1168. I'm so sorry about what I said.

1169. I didn't mean a word.

1170. You forgive me?

1171. Sure. Yeah, yeah.

1172. I'm sorry, too.

1173. I can't believe you were fucking right.

1174. No fucking way.

1175. Oh, fuck!

1176. I fucking did it.

1177. I found the Frogman.

1178. Where is she?

1179. - Come on, just stop. - Convenient.

1180. Are you okay?

1181. Yeah, I'm fine.

1182. Just give me a minute, please.

1183. Oh, fuck.

1184. What's going on?

1185. Oh, God...

1186. Are you okay?

1187. - Yeah. - Shh!

1188. Okay, let's just—

1189. You guys hear that?

1190. Dallas, I'm done with this.

1191. Let's just go get our shit and leave. Just...

1192. What's that sound?

1193. Dallas...

1194. What are you talking about?

1195. You don't hear it?

1196. Hear what?

1197. - What do you... - It sounds like chanting.

1198. Dallas, I'm...

1199. It's coming from the caves.

1200. I'm not.

1201. - Come on. - No, Dallas, I said I'm done.

1202. The last point.

1203. - What? Don't.

1204. Look.

1205. - It's getting louder. - I don't like it.

1206. Stop... Just don't...

1207. - Dallas, don't...

1208. Fuck!

1209. I'm not going in. I just can't.

1210. - Jesus! - Scotty...

1211. - Look, if you don't want to go... - I'm not going.

1212. We'll be right back.

1213. - We'll be right back. - Dallas.

1214. - We're just going to look, okay? - You can't leave me here. You can't...

1215. What language is that?

1216. - Oh, shit.

1217. It's gotten bad.

1218. - You good? - Yeah. I'm good.

1219. I feel like it's coming from in there.

1220. Help me up.

1221. Scotty, switch to night vision.

1222. Somebody, please!

1223. Anybody, please!

1224. Help me, please!

1225. What the hell?

1226. Honored am I to unite our father with the beautiful bride that he's chosen

1227. in holy matrimony.

1228. May your union be blessed with healthy pollywogs.

1229. What?

1230. It's George!

1231. Anyone follows us, I'll blow your fucking head off!

1232. - Intruder! - Shit!

1233. - Run! Run!

1234. - Intruders! - Get 'em!

1235. Run!

1236. Scotty! Come on.

1237. - Go, go, go, go, go, go!

1238. - What are you doing down here?

1239. I heard screaming. Are you okay?

1240. We gotta get out of here.

1241. What... What happened?

1242. You wouldn't believe me.

1243. Come on. Let's hide in here.

1244. Scotty, shut the light off.

1245. I think they passed us.

1246. Scotty, light.

1247. What the hell was that?

1248. - Amy, behind you. - Holy fuck!

1249. - What's this? - What the hell are these?

1250. Oh, my God. One of you guys tell me, what is going on?

1251. You guys, over here.

1252. Something's in this one.

1253. Oh, God.

1254. Dallas, don't touch it!

1255. Oh, my God, it reeks!

1256. Holy shit!

1257. We gotta get them out of here.

1258. Come on, help me pull them out.

1259. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1260. Pull.

1261. Holy shit!

1262. Oh, my God.

1263. Oh, my God, is that George's granddaughter?

1264. You all right?

1265. - Oh, shit!

1266. What is that thing?

1267. What the fuck? What is that thing?

1268. - Scotty? - Where's the camera?

1269. What is it? Scotty, are you okay?

1270. Scotty?

1271. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1272. Scotty, what happened to you?

1273. Scotty!

1274. Amy, we gotta go.

1275. Amy, we gotta go.

1276. Let's go!

1277. This way.

1278. Hurry up.

1279. Where... Where do we go?

1280. - This way? - I don't know.

1281. Did you see his face?

1282. Did you see it?

1283. Yes, I did. It's awful,

1284. but if we don't get out of here, that shit's gonna happen to us.

1285. Hey, I really have to tell you something.

1286. I lied to you.

1287. Our night together...

1288. - What? - ... meant the world to me.

1289. And why are you telling me this?

1290. If I don't tell you now, I may never get the chance to tell you.

1291. I love you.

1292. I've always loved you.

1293. Dallas...

1294. Amy, what is it?

1295. The noise from the woods, I can hear it.

1296. I hear it. I hear it.

1297. Irrefutable proof.

1298. Dallas...

1299. Dallas...

1300. Dallas...

1301. Dallas...

1302. Dallas?

1303. Dallas...

1304. Who's there?

1305. Dallas?

1306. Dallas, I'm scared.

1307. I can't move.

1308. He's got me.

1309. Dallas...

1310. Dallas...

1311. Help...

1312. Amy!

1313. Holy shit!

1314. Amy! Fucking let go of her!

1315. Amy! Shit.

1316. - Amy, you okay? - Oh, my God, what happened?

1317. I'll show you later. Come on.

1318. Fuck!

1319. - George! - Turn off that damn light. Follow me.

1320. - Thank God.

1321. George...

1322. You can turn that light back on now.

1323. George, what the fuck was that?

1324. Careful. It's a little deep.

1325. All those people back there.

1326. What did we just see?

1327. The less you know, the better.

1328. Keep it that way.

1329. We're almost there. We can't stop now.

1330. Amy, we have to keep moving.

1331. Come on.

1332. So just follow the water to the bridge.

1333. You can get to town from there.

1334. Wait, George. You're not going back in there?

1335. If there's any chance my granddaughter is still alive, I have to go back.

1336. There's the town.

1337. - Amy?

1338. Amy?

1339. Amy, it's gonna be okay.

1340. We have the proof.

1341. - Amy... - Don't.

1342. The whole world is gonna believe us.

1343. Stop.

1344. Stop it. Stop it.

1345. Stop it.

1346. Just stop it.

1347. Okay.

1348. All right. Thanks, everyone, for coming out.

1349. Let's give another round of applause for Frogman.

1350. Let's welcome to the stage the director of the film,

1351. Dallas Kyle.

1352. Dallas Kyle, welcome to the stage.

1353. Dallas?

1354. Dallas Kyle, the director of the film, welcome to the stage.

1355. Dallas! Dallas! Dallas!

1356. Dallas! Dallas! Dallas!

1357. Dallas! Dallas!