- 1. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
- 2. I'm X-ray Cat. I've got super powers.
- 3. I can see through wooden doors
with my X-ray vision. Wooden doors.
- 4. I can see the criminal on the other side.
- 5. He can't see me, and he's committing crime.
- 6. I come along and say "I can see you. He says
"You can't. " I say "Yes, I can with my... "
- 7. X-ray...
- 8. X-ray Cat.
- 9. "You can't get me. You can't get me. "
"Yes, I can. Yes, I can. "
- 10. "Yes, I can. Yes... "
- 11. The bananas.
- 12. I know a banana who applied for a job
as a telephone repairman.
- 13. Guy came and said "You want a job here?"
And he said "Yeah, I wanna get a job. "
- 14. "You got the job!
You got the job, buddy!"
- 15. And then the beavers came. The beaver
started yelling at the other beaver.
- 16. The beaver started yelling at the other beaver.
He said "You stupid beaver!"
- 17. "You stupid... "
- 18. Bye, Gord. Good luck.
- 19. Hey! Get off that skateboard!
- 20. Gordie, honey.
I'm so sad you're leaving me.
- 21. Why are you moving to Los Angeles
to work in a cheese factory?
- 22. I'm not gonna just work in a cheese sandwich
factory. I'm gonna shop my drawings.
- 23. - I'm gonna be like Charles Schulz.
- You'll be fine.
- 24. - No, I'm gonna be like Charles Schulz.
- That's my boy. Confidence.
- 25. You're a big man now.
You've got a job, a goddamn real job, Gord.
- 26. And you gave up on those stupid doodles.
- 27. They're not stupid. They're not stupid.
- 28. Whatever. At least
you're leaving Daddy's basement.
- 29. Sh, Jim. He has a very nice job.
- 30. Look at our little baby boy.
He's all grown up. You come here.
- 31. - Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom...
- You little baby...
- 32. Mom, stop it. Stop it.
Mom, I'm a 28-year-old man.
- 33. Hey, baby. He's a 28-year-old man.
- 34. Yeah, I'm a 28-year-old man.
- 35. My bus is about to leave,
so I'm gonna get on it...
- 36. and I'm gonna leave... on it.
- 37. - Son, wait.
- 38. You're not taking that bus to Los Angeles.
- 39. You bought me a ticket
on this bus to Los Angeles.
- 40. That's not all we bought you.
- 41. - There! It's yours. Hop in.
- 42. - Come on, you're driving.
- It's a... It's a LeBaron.
- 43. You bet your boots it's a LeBaron.
- 44. Good car. Convertible.
- 45. Jeez. A convertible.
- 46. It says "#1 Son" on the license plate.
That's me. I'm the number one son.
- 47. - What about me, Mom?
- You're number one son, too.
- 48. Then how come
Gord gets a LeBaron and I don't?
- 49. - Cos they love me more than they love you.
- No. No, they don't.
- 50. Oh, yeah? I only see one LeBaron, Freddy.
I don't see two LeBarons.
- 51. - Gordie. Gordie.
- Do you see two?
- 52. - Knock it off.
- Where's your LeBaron, Freddy?
- 53. - Boys! Boys!
- How many LeBarons are there? Two?
- 54. Shut up!
- 55. Gord, this car is more than a gift.
- 56. It's kind of an investment in you.
- 57. It means I believe in my son.
- 58. You be a good man.
- 59. Father, I... I will be a good man.
- 60. You make your daddy proud. You hear me?
- 61. I'm gonna make you proud, Daddy.
- 62. I'm gonna make you so proud.
- 63. Make your daddy proud.
- 64. - You're gonna be so proud.
- 65. Proud.
- 66. Get the fuck outta the way!
- 67. Well...
- 68. the boy's grown up.
- 69. He's finally gone.
- 70. - What are you doin' to that horse?
- This is a stud farm, boy.
- 71. I wanna try the horsey!
I wanna try the horsey!
- 72. Oh! Oh!
- 73. Oh, this is fun!
Look at me, Daddy. I'm a farmer.
- 74. Oh! Oh! This is fun. Look at me, Daddy.
- 75. I'm a farmer. I'm a farmer, Daddy.
- 76. When I grow up I wanna be a farmer!
I'm a farmer!
- 77. - I'm really proud of that kid.
- Yeah. I think he's all grown up.
- 78. Look at me.
- 79. I'm sexy. I'm a sexy boy.
- 80. Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
- 81. Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
- 82. Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
- 83. Ding-dong!
- 84. - That's lunch, everyone.
- Hey, are you guys leaving?
- 85. Can I help you?
- 86. Excuse me. Can I help you?
- 87. - Excuse me!
- It's OK. I'm here with the bag.
- 88. - Bag?
- The bag for the eels.
- 89. - What?
- For the badger, the badger.
- 90. What? What?
- 91. Hey! What are you talking about?
Are you here for a delivery?
- 92. - Japan 4.
- Japan 4? What?
- 93. Japan 4?
- 94. I've got the package you guys ordered.
- 95. - Wait. Who's it for?
- It's smudged.
- 96. I can really only make out "Boss".
- 97. - You mean Mr. Davidson?
- Uh, Peter Davidson?
- 98. - Dave.
- Dave Davidson, yeah. Dave Davidson.
- 99. See, that part was really smudged. OK?
- 100. You said Dave Davidson, then it triggered
into my brain. You know how that happens?
- 101. - He's the head guy?
- 102. So if you wanted to get a TV show based on
your animations, he's the guy to talk to?
- 103. - Yes.
- OK. He has brown hair?
- 104. - Blond.
- Blond hair?
- 105. Blond hair! I'm looking for someone
who is blond! Blond hair!
- 106. Are you a blond? Are you a blond?
- 107. - The blond...?
- He's at lunch, so I'll take the package.
- 108. - He's at lunch?
- 109. His wife is dead.
- 110. What? Linda?
- 111. - Yeah, yeah, Linda. She's dead.
- Oh, my God.
- 112. So I should tell him.
Probably best I tell him.
- 113. - Who are you?
- 114. I'm Quincy. I'm with the Coroner's Office.
I'm like a police officer.
- 115. So I should see Mr. Davidson
cos I'm a police officer.
- 116. OK. I...
- 117. He'll be at that restaurant.
- 118. - He'll be devastated.
- 119. God, he loved Linda.
- 120. - He did love Linda.
- I know.
- 121. I think it's wonderful
when two people love one another, and...
- 122. even though there's a chance one of
those two people will die a horrible death...
- 123. that doesn't make me fear love.
I'm not afraid of love.
- 124. Could I be your boyfriend? I love you.
- 125. - Get outta here!
- No, no, no. I was just thinking...
- 126. A woman is dead. Linda is dead!
- 127. I thought we could grieve together
over the dead Linda, over the dead woman.
- 128. Fuck off!
- 129. You're a skinny loser!
- 130. - Someone call Security.
- 131. Shit!
- 132. - Security!
- Don't call them, OK? I gotta go.
- 133. Tell Hanna-Barbera to go fuck themselves.
- 134. I got twelve Korean teenagers in a tiger cage
that can draw a fucking dog wearing a cape.
- 135. OK. I'm looking for a Mr. Dave Davidson.
- 136. - Are you Dave Davidson?
- 137. - David Davidson?
- My name's Peter.
- 138. - I'm looking for a David Davidson.
- I'm a woman.
- 139. - Did I ask what sex you are?
- 140. - Did I ask if you were David Davidson?
- My name is Cheryl.
- 141. - I'm Dave Davidson. Is there a problem?
- You're Mr. Davidson?
- 142. - Yeah, officer. Is there a problem here?
- I'm not really a cop.
- 143. My name's Gord, and I want
to show you my drawings.
- 144. Your drawings? Are you kidding?
- 145. Mr. Davidson, I'm an animator. I've got
this idea I wanna pitch to you. It's a cartoon.
- 146. It's a cat with super powers.
It can see through wooden doors.
- 147. He solves crimes, he can fly.
My friends and I think it's hilarious.
- 148. He flies like this. It's great.
- 149. Right, well, I'm glad
your friends enjoy it, OK?
- 150. Tell me something, what do you want?
- 151. I want you to help me make it
into a TV show.
- 152. You just barge into a restaurant
dressed like a fucking English bobby...
- 153. and expect someone to give you a TV show?
- 154. Uh, I don't know. Um...
- 155. - Yeah.
- Do me a favor? Leave me alone.
- 156. - Please, please...
- 157. - Please, just look at my drawings.
- Yeah, OK. Fine.
- 158. It's X-ray Cat, but instead of seeing through
everything, he can only see through wood.
- 159. So if there's something on the other side
of a wooden door... See the criminal?
- 160. - I see the criminal. I see the door.
- He sees the criminal and saves the day...
- 161. to the dismay of the police cos they hate it
when people take the law into their hands.
- 162. - Like a Batman.
- Like a Guardian Angel. What's that called?
- 163. - Like a vigilante.
- Like a vigilante! He's like a vigilante...
- 164. uh, cat.
- 165. It's a cat who's a vigilante.
A cat who is a vigilante.
- 166. I got that, Gord. Listen, your drawings are
pretty good, but it doesn't make sense, OK?
- 167. It's fucking stupid. OK?
- 168. What you need here is elevation.
- 169. There has to be something that happens
that's funny. What the fuck's happening here?
- 170. - OK. That's a banana...
- I see the banana, Gord.
- 171. - With string.
- I see the string.
- 172. With a bag of eyes on the other end,
- 173. with sauce...
- 174. uh, dripping.
- 175. Dripping sauce and a baboon.
- 176. You see what I mean?
It doesn't make any sense, Gord.
- 177. It sucks! The drawings are pretty good,
but the characters are lame.
- 178. God. The characters are lame.
I'm a loser. I wish I was dead!
- 179. Gord, listen! Wait, wait, wait. Listen.
- 180. I'm trying to give you
a piece of advice. Will you stop?
- 181. You gotta figure these animals out.
You gotta figure them out.
- 182. You gotta get inside the animals. OK?
- 183. Figure them out.
- 184. Take that out. I can't understand.
- 185. - I gotta get inside the animals?
- Get inside the animals.
- 186. - You mean I shouldn't blow my brains out?
- No. No, you shouldn't blow your brains out.
- 187. Wanna play in the big leagues?
You gotta work on it 24 hours a day.
- 188. You gotta give it weeks and weeks
and months and months and years!
- 189. And then if it doesn't work out, Gord,
then blow your fucking brains out.
- 190. But, sir, I can't work on this all day.
I got a job at the cheese sandwich factory.
- 191. The cheese sandwich factory? That's funny.
- 192. No, it's true. I gotta make cheese sandwiches.
- 193. - I got rent and...
- Gord, listen.
- 194. If you really wanna be an animator,
you should quit the shitty cheese job.
- 195. Think about it, all right?
- 196. Gord, you really wanna be an animator...
- 197. get inside the animals.
- 198. "Get inside the animals. "
- 199. You were a big boy, weren't ya?
- 200. Oh, stinky.
- 201. Holy shit!
- 202. I wasn't...
I wasn't expecting that to happen.
- 203. Gord, you're back! Whoa!
- 204. There we go.
- 205. Hello?
- 206. Now listen, Gordie's gonna be a little upset
about being back home, so just be nice.
- 207. I'm home.
- 208. - Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
- Why do you guys always have roast beef?
- 209. Boo-hoo! Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy
hurts cos there's too much roast beef in it.
- 210. It's just boring.
- 211. - I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
- You're not!
- 212. This is crazy. I'm 28 years old. I should
be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.
- 213. He's 28 years old and he can eat
a chicken sandwich. Very impressive.
- 214. Mike Fitzgibbon's son
is a nuclear physicist...
- 215. and my son can eat a chicken!
- 216. Jim, no!
- 217. You can either eat that goddamn roast beef,
or you can go to bed.
- 218. Good.
- 219. Sh. Gord! Gord!
Don't hammer 'em so loud. Jeez.
- 220. It's late. You're gonna wake up your parents.
- 221. - You're right. I'll use the electric nail gun.
- 222. Sh. Sh. Gord. Gord!
- 223. - What?
- Oh, boys!
- 224. Will you two faggots stop making
so fucking much noise? We're sleeping.
- 225. Sh!
- 226. Goddammit!
- 227. It's three in the morning!
- 228. - Stop the fucking hammering!
- Jim, I got a kid over here. OK?
- 229. - Gord, are you almost done over there?
- Yeah, nearly, Mr. Malloy.
- 230. Hey, Gord.
Can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
- 231. Sure, Andy. Any time.
- 232. Has your dad got, like, bowel problems?
- 233. - Let's skate this thing.
- Don't you think it's kinda dark, Gord?
- 234. I gotta work tomorrow.
- 235. You mean to say we're finished now and you
are not gonna enjoy the fruits of your labor?
- 236. I don't have the right shoes on.
They're slippery and they got no sole.
- 237. - Just enjoy the fruits here.
- Don't say "the fruits".
- 238. OK.
- 239. Holy shit.
- 240. Dirty little shit! You think that's funny?
I gotta work in the morning.
- 241. Argh!
- 242. - Dad, what the fuck? He hurt his leg.
- He shouldn't have been screaming out here.
- 243. Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 244. Oh! Oh, Christ! Oh, God!
- 245. Get him a job!
- 246. Get him an ambulance!
You get a job. He's got a job.
- 247. What the hell are you doing?
- 248. - Hi. I'm looking for my friend Darren.
- 249. Wow. That's a...
Oh, that's a neat trick you do there.
- 250. Yeah! Yeah, my record's seven in a row.
- 251. Oh!
- 252. Wow. Are hospitals always this fun?
- 253. No. Sometimes... Sometimes
people here die of cancer.
- 254. - Cancer, huh?
- 255. Hi, I'm Gord.
- 256. Hi. I'm Betty.
- 257. Uh...
- 258. - That creamer game's fun.
- Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's my hobby.
- 259. - Yeah. My passion is...
- 260. No! No. Not just the creamers.
- 261. Physics. Flight, actually.
- 262. I'm kind of a rocket scientist,
to tell the truth. Yeah.
- 263. Well, OK, amateur. Amateur rocket scientist.
- 264. - It's still pretty crazy.
- Yeah. I know.
- 265. - What do you do?
- Me, uh...
- 266. Investments. I do investments.
- 267. Um... Consulting in the business... business.
- 268. Um, analyzing stocks.
- 269. Uh... NASDAQ, Dow Jones,
Wall Street Journal...
- 270. uh, New York City, CNN.
- Oh, wow. Wow. You must be rich.
- 271. Yeah. You know, they have creamers
in places other than hospitals.
- 272. And I thought...
If this is forward, just tell me...
- 273. but maybe we could go to
one of those places, like a restaurant.
- 274. We could flip them together there sometime.
- 275. Uh...
- 276. That'd be fun. Here's my number.
- 277. OK. Call me.
- 278. Oh, gotta run. I'll talk to you soon.
Call me, Gord.
- 279. Bye!
- 280. Have you seen that girl, the doctor?
- 281. No. I haven't exactly been able
to get up and wander around, Gord.
- 282. OK, well, it's weird cos I asked her out
on a date and she said yes.
- 283. - Yeah, that is weird.
- Excuse me. Could you keep it down?
- 284. This is a hospital room and I'm pregnant.
- 285. Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
I didn't realize that you were pregnant.
- 286. So anyway, that girl I asked out on a date,
see, I thought she could walk.
- 287. - She's handicapped? Is that what you mean?
- She's in a wheelchair.
- 288. Could you please just shut the fuck up?
I am fucking pregnant!
- 289. - You saying you hate people in wheelchairs?
- I don't hate them.
- 290. I think it's clear what you're saying.
You hate the handicapped.
- 291. I don't. You're handicapped.
I don't hate you. See?
- 292. You're handicapped. You're handicapped.
- 293. - You bastard!
- My baby's coming! My baby is coming!
- 294. Help.
- 295. Help. My baby is coming.
- 296. Oh, no.
- 297. No, no, no.
- 298. Oh! Oh!
- 299. - Are you OK, ma'am?
- My baby is coming. My baby is coming.
- 300. - Call the doctor, you fucking asshole!
- It's OK. I'm a doctor.
- 301. No, get me a real doctor.
- 302. I am a real doctor. See? I'm a real doctor.
- 303. Get away from me!
- 304. - Here. Spread your legs for me, OK?
- No! No!
- 305. What are you doing? What are you doing?
- 306. - I see the problem here.
- 307. There seems to be a little baby
inside your body.
- 308. Here. Give me your head, little fellow.
- 309. Give me your head, little fellow.
Here, little fellow.
- 310. I got you. I got you. I got her. I got her.
- 311. I got her. I got her. I got her. I got her.
- 312. Put it back, Gord.
- 313. You gotta cut the cord.
You gotta cut the cord.
- 314. Jeez, do I have to do everything?
- 315. Oh, God. Help me.
- 316. Why isn't it crying?
- 317. Uh, it's sleeping?
- 318. - Give me my baby, you fucker!
- I'll wake up your baby.
- 319. - Gordie!
- Wakey-wakey! Wakey-wakey!
- 320. Wakey-wakey! Wakey-wakey!
- 321. I saved the day.
- 322. Thank you.
- 323. I saved the day.
- 324. I saved the day.
- 325. My pretty baby girl.
- 326. - Don't ever come back. Ever.
- I saved the day.
- 327. - You did not save the day.
- What's going on, Gord?
- 328. I saved the day. Don't touch
my shoulder, OK? I saved the day.
- 329. Seems like they got
a problem with heroes around here.
- 330. I saved the day, Betty.
- 331. - I'll call you tonight.
- 332. Hey! Come on in. Just got four in a row.
- 333. - What?
- Creamers. Four creamer flips in a row.
- 334. - Come watch.
- Oh, cool.
- 335. Whoo! I got another one.
- 336. - No way. Are those actually rockets?
- 337. - I'm designing a rocket-powered wheelchair.
- 338. - That's incredible. Does it work?
- 339. No, I haven't been able
to quite figure it out yet.
- 340. Don't you feel like a stupid dummy?
- 341. - Excuse me?
- You tried to make it work, but it doesn't.
- 342. - It must make you feel like a stupid dummy.
- 343. I didn't expect to master the intricacies
of rocketry on my first attempt. It's a process.
- 344. - You sort of learn from your mistakes.
- Hm. Never thought of it like that.
- 345. Besides, they don't let me
work on it at the hospital.
- 346. They don't think handicapped people
should go fast, but it's bullshit...
- 347. cos I like going fast and I like rockets...
- 348. because they're hot...
and hard... and long.
- 349. Actually, I thought we could
kinda go to a movie or something.
- 350. Uh, hi.
- 351. How are you?
- 352. Be a lot better if you'd spank my legs
with this bamboo.
- 353. Um...
- 354. What?
- 355. Just whack it against my shins
as hard as you can, OK?
- 356. Uh... I guess.
- 357. Um...
- 358. How's that?
- 359. Come on, Gordie.
You can do better than that.
- 360. What are you, a little puss?
- 361. - A puss? A pussy?
- Come on.
- 362. - Come on, pussy. You can do better.
- Pussy? I don't know...
- 363. - How's that?
- Come on, pussy, pussy!
- 364. Don't be shy, little pussy.
- 365. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
- 366. Oh, come on, I wanna see them bleed!
- 367. Oh, yeah! I felt a tingle!
- 368. Oh, don't stop! Oh, yeah!
- 369. Oh! Oh!
- 370. You wanna get another tingle?
- 371. Ow! Gord, what the fuck?
- 372. Not my face! It's not my face
that's paralyzed, you fuck!
- 373. Sorry. I...
- 374. I've never really caned anyone before.
- 375. It's OK.
- 376. It's your turn now.
- 377. OK.
- 378. Don't do it too hard, though.
- 379. I've got sensitive knees.
- 380. Oh, I'm not gonna whack your legs
with the bamboo, Gord.
- 381. I'm gonna give you a blow job.
- 382. Betty, it's only our first date. We should go
do romantic stuff first, like walk in the park.
- 383. - I can't walk.
- Maybe I could take you out for a roll.
- 384. I'd rather stay here and suck!
- 385. The thing is... I think... OK.
- 386. Come here, Gord.
- 387. Uh...
- 388. Hm.
- 389. Um...
- 390. That's my umbilical cord.
- 391. Oh? Didn't you ever have that removed?
- 392. Um...
- 393. It's taped. It's just for fun.
- 394. I taped it there for fun.
- 395. Uh...
- 396. OK. I can work around it.
- 397. Wait... wait... wait...
- 398. - Come on.
- Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- 399. OK.
- 400. - Hello, Father.
- Hey, Freddy!
- 401. - How are you, son?
- I'm working hard, just like you taught me.
- 402. - You moving back home, Freddy?
- What? No, no, no.
- 403. No way, Mother. I'm a man now.
- 404. I'm all grown up and I'm out on my own
and I'm earning a good living.
- 405. - Is it gonna be a busy day at the bank today?
- Well, I sure hope so.
- 406. Is that, um...?
- 407. Your big brother. He couldn't handle the
complexities of making a cheese sandwich...
- 408. so now he's back home with us.
- 409. Jeez, is that idiot still in the shower?
Shit, how much water is he gonna use?
- 410. Yeah, how much is he gonna use? All of it?
- 411. He should save some for the fish. Huh, Pop?
- 412. Gord!
- 413. I'll fix him.
- 414. How's the water? Cold enough for ya?
- 415. Dammit. Don't tell me you're so stupid, you
can't tell the difference between hot and cold.
- 416. - What the fuck is going on?
- I'm underwater. Look, I found a treasure.
- 417. - A treasure? That's soap on a rope.
- Sh. I'm pretending it's a treasure.
- 418. Get out of my goddamn scuba gear,
- 419. Oh, no, the treasure!
It went into that underwater cave.
- 420. Get out of that toilet!
- 421. Get out of that toilet!
- 422. Father, you saved me
from the giant barracuda.
- 423. But, look, I salvaged the treasure.
We can live like kings.
- 424. - We can live like kings!
- Forget that fucking soap.
- 425. Clean up this mess and get your ass
out that door looking for a job, you retard.
- 426. He's driving me insane.
- 427. No. No, you're driving him insane.
- 428. You're older than me
and you still live at home.
- 429. I have a job, you know. I pay my own way.
- 430. - You work in a bank. Should I be dazzled?
- Well, at least I don't live at home.
- 431. No, you live in a tiny shithole
and you come here to eat for free.
- 432. Whatever. Listen, I'm off to work now, OK?
- 433. Me and Dad have jobs.
We're doing something with our lives.
- 434. It's time for you to grow up.
Good luck with that job hunt, OK?
- 435. All right. Let's cross our fingers.
- 436. Let's cross our fingers
and hope I get a job. I'm serious.
- 437. Just cross your fingers.
- 438. All right! Fingers crossed.
- 439. I hope I get a jobbie, Freddy.
I got my fingers crossed.
- 440. - I hope I get a job. I got my fingers crossed.
- Goodbye, Gord.
- 441. I got my fingers crossed.
- 442. Crossed. Crossed. Cro...
- 443. ssed.
- 444. Paid for his damn college.
- 445. Sits at home all day, whacking off.
- 446. Better have a damn job.
- 447. Proud...
- 448. My ass!
- 449. Hey!
- 450. - Gord!
- 451. What in God's name are you doing,
you stupid little man? Wait...
- 452. Did you get a job?
- 453. Yeah.
- 454. I got a job and I wanted to surprise you.
- 455. Hey, you bullshitting me, boy?
- 456. No, I got a job working nights
at a computer company.
- 457. I was borrowing one of your suits till I could
get enough money to buy one of my own.
- 458. Are you kidding? You can keep that suit.
- 459. Oh, Gord, I knew you had it in ya.
You're just a late bloomer, that's all.
- 460. Yeah, I just bloomed late.
- 461. Hey, can I borrow 50 bucks
or something? For supplies.
- 462. For, like, pens or Liquid Paper
or a Trapper Keeper...
- 463. or one of those little compasses
that you put the pencil in...
- 464. and you can make a circle,
a perfect circle.
- 465. Hey, worker, take a hundred.
- 466. Golly, Gord. I knew if I kept yelling at ya,
pounding you over the head with it...
- 467. you'd come around.
- 468. Golly, Dad. You were right all along.
- 469. Oh! Come on. Come on. Come on.
- 470. No, no, no!
- 471. Just keep dancing, celebrate!
Hell, man, this is a great day.
- 472. Oh! Oh, Gord. Oh, you're amazing!
- 473. - Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
- I'm doing it good.
- 474. Agh! Agh!
- 475. Aaaaagh!
- 476. - Am I doing it wrong?
- Oh, no!
- 477. Oh, that was incredible.
Time for your blow job, Gordie.
- 478. Oh, not right now, Betty.
- 479. - Oh, Gordie, come on.
- I thought we could have a nice evening.
- 480. - Don't you want me to suck it?
- No, no, no.
- 481. - Betty, let go. Betty, just let go.
- No, no.
- 482. - What, Gordie? Come on!
- Betty! Betty! Betty! Betty, come on.
- 483. - Betty, stop it.
- 484. Stop it!
- 485. Why are you yelling?
- 486. It's crazy. This is the second date we haven't
gone out on yet, and if you do this again...
- 487. you'll have sucked 200% more times
than we've gone out on dates.
- 488. And I just think if we went out on at least
one date and you didn't do any sucking...
- 489. that'd make the whole sucking-to-date
ratio far more balanced, you know?
- 490. Yeah. OK. Let's go out then.
- 491. Good. Good.
- 492. Jim, thank you for
taking me out for dinner tonight.
- 493. Maybe now that Gord is working, we can
finally spend our evenings alone together.
- 494. Jim, what are you doing?
- 495. - Thank you. That was yummy.
- I'm so glad you liked it.
- 496. Andy, would you like a piece of cake?
- 497. Am I really allowed a piece of cake, Daddy?
- 498. Of course you can have a piece of cake.
It's your birthday.
- 499. - Yay!
- 500. So, Gord...
- 501. is your job really hard?
- 502. It's not hard, no. I mean,
you have to be smart, really smart.
- 503. You have to use your brain.
I have to use my brain.
- 504. I like to see when the stocks are high, OK?
- 505. - And I like to see when they're low.
- That's interesting.
- 506. Sometimes they're really high.
Sometimes they're very high.
- 507. That's high!
- 508. That's when you wanna sell.
You buy them when they're down very low.
- 509. Yeah. I have some graphs I can show you.
- 510. If you pay attention to these patterns here,
you can see. I made these on my computer.
- 511. Oh, boy. I need to spill some urine.
Where can I do that?
- 512. The restrooms are at the other end
of the restaurant, sir.
- 513. Thank you very, very much.
- 514. Cheerio.
- 515. - Wow. It's all over the place.
- This one here is high.
- 516. - It's interesting.
- Just look at the patterns.
- 517. Um...
- 518. Is that, um... Did you need to...
- 519. Oh, yeah.
- 520. This is my... This is my cellular telephone.
- 521. It's wireless. It uses satellites and terrestrial
antennas to send and receive transmissions.
- 522. It's, um... It's a new thing.
- 523. - Interesting.
- 524. Hey. Here's my buddy Andy.
- 525. Ah, somebody's eating some birthday cake.
- 526. - Yes, sir. It's my birthday.
- 527. - How you doing, Jim?
- I'm great.
- 528. - So I guess Gord's busy these days, huh?
- Yeah. That kid of mine is something else.
- 529. He's working day and night
at his big, new computer job.
- 530. - Yeah, I noticed him over there.
- Say what?
- 531. It looked like he was having
an important business meeting.
- 532. - Oh, yeah.
- Speak up. I'm on my cellular telephone.
- 533. I don't care, Bob.
You're fired. You're fired!
- 534. You're fucking fired, Bob!
- 535. Clean out your locker at the club, Bob.
You're fucking fired!
- 536. Patterns. I don't fucking care
what he told you, OK?
- 537. I'm talking about 40 million
fucking Deutschmark here, Bob.
- 538. 40 million fucking Deutschmark!
- 539. I told you to wire the money
to Geneva last week.
- 540. I say Geneva, you hear Helsinki, huh?
- 541. 40 million fucking Deutschmark, Bob!
- 542. - What's going on?
- Da... Jim. Uh, Jim, hi.
- 543. - Gord, is this your dad?
- No, this is little Timmy. Little Timmy.
- 544. He works at the company.
He gets us food and stuff. Right, Timmy?
- 545. What the fuck is going on, Gord?
Why aren't you at your new job?
- 546. What are you talking about, Timmy?
- 547. Oh, Jesus, Gord.
- 548. There is no computer job, is there?
- 549. You're just gallivanting around in my suit,
pretending to be a mover and a shaker.
- 550. OK, Timmy. I'm on the cell... phone here.
- 551. This is my phone from my kitchen.
- 552. What the hell is this? Ah, boy.
- 553. Here we go. Hah!
- 554. My goddamn tape recorder.
- 555. He's pretending to have a cell phone. He's
an unemployed loser living in my basement.
- 556. Wait a minute.
- 557. - You're a cripple.
- 558. - Wha... What?
- 559. - Got a problem with my legs?
- You've got the problem.
- 560. - Either that, or you're just lazy.
- Hey, Dad, just shut up, OK?
- 561. You're telling me to shut up?
- 562. - Why is he shouting, Daddy?
- Can we get the check over here?
- 563. retard, slut, whore!
- I am not retarded.
- 564. - Daddy! Daddy!
- 565. Goodbye, Gord.
- 566. Betty, don't go!
- 567. Shut up, Dad!
- 568. Shut up! Shut up!
- 569. - This is a fancy restaurant.
- Oh, this is a fancy restaurant.
- 570. This is a fancy restaurant.
It's a fancy... It's a fancy restaurant.
- 571. - Spanking. Spanking.
- You want a spanking?
- 572. Spanking. Spanking.
- 573. Agh!
- 574. Agh!
- 575. Get off the fucking bar, asshole!
- 576. Um...
- 577. thanks for bailing me out, Betty.
- 578. Your dad called me a retard, slut, whore.
I don't think he likes me too much, Gord.
- 579. - That was little Timmy.
- 580. Come here.
- 581. I know it was your dad.
- 582. - You could have told me you lived at home.
- Even though that means I'm a loser?
- 583. Just because you're not a stockbroker
doesn't mean you're a loser.
- 584. So what do you do?
- 585. Actually, I kinda draw pictures.
- 586. Really? What kind of pictures? Like fruits?
- 587. - Oh, not fruits. I've drawn fruit before.
- 588. - Animations.
- Oh, wow.
- 589. That's great. I've never met
a real animator before.
- 590. I'm not really a real animator.
- 591. Life's hectic. I'm having trouble
concentrating, with all the skateboarding...
- 592. and you sucking my penis all the time.
- 593. Oh, my ear popped. My ear just popped.
- 594. - I think I heard it.
- When I laughed, my ear popped.
- 595. Well, Gordie, maybe
you're concentrating a little too hard.
- 596. Maybe you just need to relax while you draw.
- 597. You know, eat some food, play some music.
- 598. I only have two hands, Betty.
How am I supposed to do all that?
- 599. - What?
- Eat food and play music and draw?
- 600. - What?
- At the same time?
- 601. Oh... yeah.
- 602. What in the name of
sweet breakfast meats are you doing?
- 603. For your information, I'm being creative.
- 604. Betty told me this is what
I need to do to become an artist.
- 605. Oh, yeah? Is it working?
- 606. I don't know. I can't think of
anything to draw because I'm so stupid!
- 607. Shit. Hey, this is kinda funny, Gord.
- 608. - Yeah?
- Maybe you can't see it cos he's your dad...
- 609. but he's a character, your dad.
- 610. - He is?
- 611. - He's a character?
- Shit. It's your dad.
- 612. He's rigged a pulley system so he can eat
sausage and work on his stupid drawings.
- 613. I'm being creative. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I still have some work to do.
- 614. Ow! Ow! Ow!
- 615. Now, you just get outside
and you just cool off!
- 616. If this were Pakistan, you'd have been sewing
soccer balls when you were four years old.
- 617. Miserable, deadbeat punk.
- 618. I bust my ass working for my family.
- 619. You take his side every time.
- 620. You want me to cool down?
All right, I'm gonna show you a cool down.
- 621. Oh, just keep kissing his ass.
- 622. Cool down!
- 623. Hey? How's this for a cool down? Agh!
- 624. I feel better already.
- 625. Aaaagh!
- 626. My ramp... Why?
- 627. - He's such a stupid loser.
- He's not stupid.
- 628. We shouldn't put up with the way
he treats us. I wouldn't stand for it.
- 629. If I were you, I would show him
that I deserve respect.
- 630. - If I were you, I would go out. I'd have sex.
- Oh, honey. No.
- 631. If I were you, I'd go out.
I'd have sex with strange men.
- 632. I'd have sex with basketball players.
- 633. I'd have sex with Greeks.
- 634. Men from Greece.
- 635. I'd satisfy my urges.
- 636. I'd satisfy my sexual desires.
- 637. Gordie, honey, come on.
Let's go in the house.
- 638. Come on.
- 639. Come on.
- 640. - That's my ramp.
- I know.
- 641. - He wrecked my ramp.
- I know. It's OK.
- 642. - My skateboard ramp.
- I'm sorry.
- 643. I had the sausages on my fingers.
I was trying to play piano.
- 644. I had the sausages.
I had the sausages and the string.
- 645. I was playing the organ,
and then he smashed my half-pipe.
- 646. Jim, do you hear what Gord is saying here?
- 647. I hear him boohooing about his broken
wheelie-board ramp. Is that what you mean?
- 648. Yes, Jim. But do you
understand what he's saying?
- 649. Sounds to me like he just wants you
to accept him as your son.
- 650. To approve of him
and what he wants to do with his life.
- 651. How does that make you feel?
- 652. First of all, I don't give a rat's ass
what this punk wants.
- 653. As long as he lives in my house
and eats my food, I make the rules.
- 654. - I wanna eat chicken burgers.
- You prick.
- 655. Jim, don't hurt my baby. Now, sit down.
- 656. You're an embarrassment to my family.
- 657. Oh, yeah? Well, at least
I don't touch Freddy.
- 658. - Say what?
- Excuse me?
- 659. Yeah, he touches my little brother. He takes
him behind the furnace and touches him.
- 660. - See the insanity I put up with?
- He's embarrassed.
- 661. - Jim!
- He touches my little brother.
- 662. He...
- 663. He... He fingers him.
- 664. - You're a goddamn liar.
- Jim! Do you touch him?
- 665. Do you finger our boy?
- 666. Don't get wacky on me.
What the fuck are we talking about?
- 667. Mr. Brody, this is very serious.
- 668. Based on what I've heard here today,
I am required by law to notify the authorities.
- 669. You hear that, Dad? You're gonna pay!
- 670. He's a molester. He's a child molester!
- 671. Agh!
- 672. You'd better run, you li-aaaaaaar!
- 673. so then we placed a retractor.
This holds the abdominal wall open.
- 674. - Hi. Can I help you?
- Uh, yes, you can.
- 675. We're here for little Freddy.
- 676. I'm Freddy.
- 677. Oh.
- 678. Well, um...
- 679. Freddy, I'm a doctor.
- 680. And we need to take you with us.
- 681. What?
- 682. - What did I do wrong?
- No. No, you didn't do anything wrong.
- 683. That's the most important thing
for you to remember.
- 684. It's not your fault your dad fingered you.
- 685. What are you talking about?
My dad doesn't finger me.
- 686. - Come on, son. We'll take you outta here.
- No! No, I'm not going anywhere.
- 687. - My father does not finger me.
- It's over, Freddy.
- 688. We'll take you someplace where
your dad won't be able to hurt you any more.
- 689. - Officer.
- Come with me, son.
- 690. Guys, my dad doesn't finger me.
Are you crazy?
- 691. It's OK, Freddy. It's OK.
You'll be safe now.
- 692. I'm 25 years old.
- 693. Dad?
- 694. Dad!
- 695. - Dad!
- What are you doing with my boy?
- 696. - Help.
- I'll get you a lawyer.
- 697. Freddy, no!
- 698. - I've never been fingered!
- It's OK, Julie.
- 699. Your husband's deeply disturbed and we
won't let him hurt your little boy any more.
- 700. I didn't do anything.
- 701. What are you looking at, bitch?
- 702. Honey!
- 703. Julie!
- 704. - What're you doing?
- Stop it. I'm working on those.
- 705. I'm getting 'em ready to show Mr. Davidson.
- 706. - Stop it.
- Scared I'm ruining these little sketches?
- 707. Stop it! Stop it!
- 708. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Mickey Mouse!
- 709. Fuck you, Dad.
- 710. Fuck me?
- 711. Yeah, fuck you.
- 712. Do you wanna fuck me?
Is that what you said?
- 713. - What?
- Do you want to fuck me?
- 714. Huh?
- 715. All right, Gord.
- 716. Come on over here...
- 717. and fuck me.
- 718. Come on, Gord.
Get your ass over here and fuck me.
- 719. Just stick it right in here.
- 720. - Put your ass away.
- Here. Your sketches, here.
- 721. Ooh! Oh!
- 722. Holy shit, Dad. What are you doing?
- 723. Why don't you come on over here
and fuck your daddy?
- 724. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck Daddy.
- 725. Hey! Hey!
- 726. Julie?
- 727. Sweetie?
- 728. You, Gordon Brody, you're nothing.
- 729. - You're nothing and will always be nothing.
- 730. God! I've never been
so ashamed of anything in my life.
- 731. Dad.
- 732. Julie!
- 733. Julie.
- 734. Oh, shit.
- 735. Oh, the hypergolic propellants aren't mixing.
- 736. Ah, of course. It's the oxidizer.
- 737. Too bad it didn't work, huh?
- 738. Oh, hey, Gord. How are
the animations coming along?
- 739. Well, see, there's been a change in plans.
- 740. I figured, instead of following my dream
of being an animator, I'm just gonna give up.
- 741. Why?
- 742. Because.
- 743. - Because why?
- Cos why shouldn't I?
- 744. My dad was right all along. It is stupid.
- 745. It's time I grow up and get a job,
instead of acting like a little baby all the time.
- 746. But you're not a baby. You can't just quit.
- 747. Shut up, Betty. Just shut up.
- 748. I've as much a chance of being an animator
as you have of getting this chair to work.
- 749. Can't you see we're both just stupid idiots?
- 750. - Gord...
- 751. "Gordie!"
- 752. I'm so close to getting this rocket to work.
- 753. Rockets! Rockets!
"I'm gonna get my rockets to work!"
- 754. It's always about the rockets.
- 755. You got fingered?
- 756. No. OK?
- 757. It's OK.
- 758. I know.
- 759. Now I'll tell you once more.
Stop trying to act so grown up.
- 760. - Is there a problem?
- Yeah, moron.
- 761. I ordered a cheese sandwich
and there's hardly any cheese in here.
- 762. That's no good, is it?
- 763. Here, give me your sandwich.
I will fix it for you.
- 764. You can't have complaints there's not
enough cheese in the cheese sandwiches.
- 765. I mean, if there's no cheese in a cheese
sandwich, that's just two slices of bread.
- 766. If word of that were to get out,
well, I could lose my job.
- 767. I could lose all of this!
- 768. And we wouldn't want that, would we?
- 769. Would we?
- 770. Would we?
- 771. Huh?
- 772. - What the fuck am I gonna do with that?
- You could stick it in your bum-bum.
- 773. You can put the cheese in your bum.
- 774. - ... go on upstairs to your room.
- OK. If that's what you want.
- 775. Julie!
- 776. Sweetheart, wait.
- 777. Let's talk, sugar.
- 778. There's nothing to talk about.
I can't be with you another second.
- 779. Wait. What about our dreams, baby doll?
- 780. I'm sure you'd rather find
some young boys instead of me.
- 781. - What the hell are you talking about?
- I saw what you were doing downstairs.
- 782. Whatever you saw
was completely out of context.
- 783. I just told him to fuck me
because Gord said "Fuck you, Dad. "
- 784. Don't you get it? Fuck you, fuck me.
Fuck you, fuck me. Fuck you, fuck me.
- 785. And I never fingered Freddy!
- 786. And now over to Phil,
who has a special-interest story. Phil?
- 787. We've heard of electric wheelchairs, but
have you heard of one powered by rockets?
- 788. A girl by the name of Betty Menger may not
be able to walk, but it hasn't slowed her down.
- 789. She's a scientist who designed a wheelchair
that does 0 to 60 in under four seconds.
- 790. She did it.
- 791. Look at her go!
- 792. Way to go, Betty.
- 793. Yeah, hi.
- 794. Do you think that I pay you to stand
around watching TV? Get back to work.
- 795. - Sorry, kid. I don't think this'll work out.
- Don't call me kid.
- 796. Sir, although I respect your authority here
at Submarine Supreme...
- 797. and I admire your position of power...
- 798. I regretfully am going to have to again
bow out of the sandwich industry...
- 799. because in reality I am an animator.
- 800. I'm an animator, OK?
- 801. See ya.
- 802. - Where the hell d'you think you're going?
- To get a job, Dad. OK?
- 803. - You must think I'm a damn idiot.
- Uh... yes.
- 804. Bullshit, you're getting a job!
- 805. You're a liar. You're grounded, you liar.
- 806. - Grounded? I'm 28 years old.
- I don't care! Go to your room.
- 807. Bye-bye, Daddy. Bye-bye, Daddy.
I'm going to get a jobbie!
- 808. No, you're not!
Not in this damn car you're not!
- 809. - Bye-bye, Daddy.
- Fuck you! Thief! Thief! Thief!
- 810. - Where the fuck is he?
- Mr. Brody?
- 811. - Where's my son?
- 812. Where is he?
- 813. Mr. Brody, please! I don't know. Agh!
- 814. Are you gonna tell me, you little punk-ass?
- 815. He's in Hollywood, selling his cartoons.
- 816. Aaaaagh!
- 817. Japan 4!
- 818. OK. Davidson for four...
- 819. Mr. Davidson, I have
something you need to see.
- 820. - Is there a bomb in there, Gord?
- It's not a bomb.
- 821. I did what you told me. I quit my shitty
cheese job, moved in with my parents.
- 822. I worked really hard and
I came up with a concept. It's called:
- 823. "Zebras in America". OK?
- 824. It's about a family who move to America.
- 825. It's a classic fish-out-of-water story,
except it's not fish...
- 826. it's, uh, zebras... out of water.
- 827. - Zebras don't live in water, but I understand.
- I know. That's what I'm talking about.
- 828. The zebras aren't in the water.
It's like Splash.
- 829. I saw it. I loved it. But is this the father
character with a goatee like you? Is that him?
- 830. - Yeah.
- Just seems a little unrealistic, that's all.
- 831. - Unrealistic?
- 832. - He's a centaur, like a half-man, half-zebra.
- Right. Clash of the Titans. I saw it. I get it.
- 833. Half-man, half-zebra, mutant. He's a...
- 834. - The myth. The myth.
- It's a myth. It's like a Greek myth.
- 835. It's like a Greek myth, except African.
- 836. - African...
- 837. - Myth.
- 838. - Can I help you?
- Yeah, you can, miss.
- 839. Get off your ass and tell me where my son is.
- 840. - Who the hell do you think you are?
- Get the fuck out...
- 841. Argh!
- 842. - But the father is real.
- Nobody does this shit. I don't buy it.
- 843. - It doesn't seem real.
- Here you are...
- 844. you goddamn lying,
car-thieving, doodling time-waster!
- 845. - What's so fucking funny, you little prick?
- You're funny.
- 846. You think it's funny to brainwash my kid,
so he sits around with his fingers up his ass?
- 847. I'll show you what's funny.
- 848. - Mr. Davidson, run!
- Don't hurt me, big daddy. Don't hurt me(!)
- 849. This is my son here. I'm the father here.
- 850. I'll get you. Goddamn you, Gord.
You son of a bitch!
- 851. You too, you little prick!
- 852. Ow! That hurt. Hey. Ow.
- 853. Great job. Nice show.
- 854. Where d'you get this guy?
Central Casting? He is fucking great.
- 855. It was hilarious, Gord. That's great shit.
- 856. Mr. Davidson, I'm sorry.
That's my father. He's crazy.
- 857. Gord, whatever. Do me a favor,
stop the act. Let me tell you something.
- 858. I've been doing this job, OK, for six years.
- 859. I have never seen a more
creative or exciting pitch than that.
- 860. I wasn't even thinking about writing
a cheque today, but with such creativity...
- 861. I'm comfortable
green-lighting this fucking project.
- 862. I'm gonna write you a cheque right now for,
I don't know, how's $1 million sound to you?
- 863. Oh... Uh...
- 864. - Sound good?
- 865. Hi, my name is Harry.
- 866. Do you hear the funny sound?
- 867. It's my hooves. It's my hooves.
- 868. In Africa, the humans hated us
because of our zebra lower bodies.
- 869. And zebras hated us
because of our human upper bodies.
- 870. So my family moved from Africa
to start over in America.
- 871. But life in America wasn't perfect.
- 872. Especially for zebras who are
used to living in fields, not houses.
- 873. My hooves. My hooves.
- 874. My dad was weird in Africa,
but America made him crazy.
- 875. I'm not getting a stupid job, Dad.
I never had a part-time job in Africa.
- 876. How dare you!
- 877. How do you like that, fucker?
How do you like that, fucker? Huh, fucker?
- 878. You fucker. You fucker.
Fucker! Huh, fucker? Fucker!
- 879. Check us out.
- 880. You'll love how simple misunderstandings
get us into a whole heap of trouble. It's crazy.
- 881. Listen to my hooves.
- 882. Listen to them. Cloppety-clop.
- 883. Listen to them. Cloppety-clop.
- 884. Zebras in America!
- 885. Darren. Darr...
- 886. Darren...
- 887. - What do you want, Gord?
- Darren, you're not gonna believe this.
- 888. I don't think we can be friends any more
cos you're crazy and your father's crazy too.
- 889. - Wanna see what a million dollars looks like?
- Keep it down. I have to work he...
- 890. - What is that?
- It's a cheque for a million dollars.
- 891. I sold my cartoon. My dad said I couldn't
sell it, but guess what? I sold my cartoon.
- 892. - For a million dollars!
- Sh. Sh...
- 893. I got a million dollars for my little drawings.
For my little drawings.
- 894. No, don't rub on Mr. Lee. No, no, no,
not my plant. Give me my plant, Gord.
- 895. Gord, give...
- 896. Don't you see? I don't
have to take his crap any more.
- 897. You're right. You've done it.
- 898. You don't have to live
in their basement any more.
- 899. Look, just give me $100,000 in cash. Put
the rest of my cheque in a savings account.
- 900. - What d'you want with 100 grand, Gord?
- 901. Hm?
- 902. - Hm?
- 903. - I wonder.
- Don't do that.
- 904. I wonder. I wonder.
- 905. Betty! Betty, come to the window.
- 906. Betty! Betty!
- 907. Gord?
- 908. - Gord, is that you?
- Look at me, Betty. I'm flying.
- 909. - Gord, what do you want?
- Meet me on the roof.
- 910. Meet me on the roof, Betty. Please!
- 911. Gord, what are you doing?
- 912. What?
- 913. - Gord, I can't hear you!
- I saw you on TV!
- 914. And you inspired me to keep trying,
so I did it and I sold my animations and...
- 915. Remember that day I lied to you
and told you I was a stockbroker?
- 916. Guess what? Now I really am rich, and... here.
- 917. - I have a bag of jewels for you.
- Gord, what...?
- 918. They're jewels, Betty. They're jewels.
- 919. I got them all for you.
- 920. But, Gord, I don't care about jewels.
I just wanna...
- 921. I just wanna suck your cock.
- 922. Do ya? Do ya really mean that, Betty?
- 923. Yes, Gord.
- 924. Even if you were poor,
I'd still just wanna stay home and...
- 925. and suck your cock.
- 926. - Oh, Betty!
- Oh, Gordie!
- 927. Oh!
- 928. - Are you crying, you silly?
- 929. No!
- 930. - Yes, you are.
- OK, maybe just a little.
- 931. I gotta go! I gotta go!
- 932. OK. Where are you going, Gord?
- 933. I'm going to see my daddy.
- 934. Good luck, Gord. Good luck.
- 935. I'm going to see my daddy!
- 936. Good luck, Gordie!
- 937. My daddy! My daddy!
- 938. Somebody in this room?
- 939. I'll kick your ass.
- 940. Fuck.
- 941. Sweet dreams, Daddy.
- 942. You see, Mr. Brody, this part here
is the trickiest part. It'll take 30 men.
- 943. It would be a lot cheaper if you just
tear the whole thing down and build...
- 944. Money's no object.
- 945. Cos I had a million dollars, OK?
And then I spent $150,000 on the jewels, OK?
- 946. Then I spent $100,000-
I rented a helicopter, OK?
- 947. Then add the $750,000-
that's all my money.
- 948. That's all my money gone.
- 949. That's a million dollars gone.
Easy come, easy go.
- 950. Yeah.
- 951. Oh, yeah, Freida. That's the ticket.
- 952. Where in fuck's the water?
- 953. Surprise, Daddy! We're in Pakistan.
- 954. I thought we could go sew
some soccer balls together.
- 955. Pakistan?
- 956. Pakistan? There's a fucking camel!
- 957. We're going for a ride, Daddy.
- 958. What is going on?
- 959. What is going on?
- 960. How the hell did you do this to me?
- 961. - Uh-oh!
- Stop! Stop!
- 962. Oh!
- 963. Aaagh!
- 964. Dad, I...
- 965. There ain't gonna be no discussion
from now on. I'm gonna kick your ass!
- 966. I'm gonna kill you!
- 967. Hey, hey, hey!
- 968. You're fucking dead.
- 969. Hold on. Hey!
- 970. All gone. My wife is gone.
My life's ruined.
- 971. You didn't know I could run this fast,
did ya, fartface?
- 972. Hey! You better run, you little shit.
- 973. Oh! Oh! Oh!
- 974. Look at me, Daddy. Look at me.
- 975. Look at me, Daddy. Look what I can do.
- 976. What the fuck d'you think you're doing,
you sick son of a bitch?
- 977. Dad?
- 978. Gord, are you OK?
- 979. I think so.
- 980. Shit.
- 981. I wanna ask you something.
How the fuck did you afford all this?
- 982. Where'd you get the money?
- 983. I got a job.
- 984. I'm an animator.
- 985. I'm a real animator.
- 986. A job?
- 987. - You mean your doodles?
- Yeah, Dad.
- 988. I sold them.
- 989. They gave me
a million dollars for my drawings.
- 990. Good God Almighty, Gord. A million dollars.
- 991. This doodling thing's for real.
- 992. You must be a pretty
damn good doodler, aren't you?
- 993. Look, I know we've had our differences.
- 994. You and I never really see eye to eye,
but I learned something.
- 995. - I can see that.
- No, not just how to whack off an elephant.
- 996. I learned to believe in myself.
- 997. I'm sorry if you're ashamed of me because I do
things differently, but I got that from you...
- 998. cos you always do things your own way,
no matter what other people think.
- 999. And maybe I needed to do the same.
- 1000. I know I'll never be the man
you want me to be, but I'm your son.
- 1001. And I want you to be proud.
- 1002. Son, you did it.
- 1003. I am proud of you.
- 1004. Proud.
- 1005. Buenos días.
- 1006. Topping world news tonight,
the creator of a popular TV show...
- 1007. has been captured by villagers in Pakistan.
- 1008. The American State Department
has confirmed that Gordon Brody...
- 1009. creator of the animated series
Zebras in America...
- 1010. creator of the series,
Zebras in America...
- 1011. were taken hostage
while vacationing in the Thar Desert.
- 1012. while vacationing in the Thar Desert,
along the Pakistani-Indian border.
- 1013. At this hour their conditions
are not known.
- 1014. Agh!
- 1015. The world got its first glimpse
of Gordon and Jim Brody.
- 1016. Earlier today the Pentagon
released this video tape...
- 1017. Are you still in love with your husband?
- 1018. Shaq, honey. That's my son, my baby boy.
They're holding him hostage.
- 1019. - I'm just being a concerned mom.
- Yeah, whatever.
- 1020. I did all this for you. Nipples pierced.
Can he do it like this, huh?
- 1021. Do it like that. Do all this. Do all that.
- 1022. to bring the Brodys home alive.
- 1023. A happy ending in the Brody hostage crisis.
- 1024. After 18 months in captivity,
the father and son were freed yesterday.
- 1025. Gordon and Jim Brody are expected
to return to their home in Portland today...
- 1026. where the real healing will begin.
- 1027. The mayor and the city have organized
a celebration for the Brodys'return.
- 1028. Go on, Gord!
- 1029. - Wait for me.
- Andy, no!
- 1030. Andy! No!
- 1031. Daddy, I'm OK. I'm OK.
- 1032. I'm OK, Daddy.
- 1033. You can't hurt me.
Not with my cheese helmet.
- 1034. - These are stupid.
- Not stupid.
- 1035. - Stupid.
- Not stupid.
- 1036. Oh! Now I'm stinky.
- 1037. Now I'm stinky.
- 1038. Now... Now I'm stinky.
- 1039. - It's a monster.
- What are you doing?
- 1040. You're a tasty monster.
- 1041. Ah, ah, ah...
- 1042. - Bling, bling, bling.
- Blah, blah, blah.
- 1043. Get off. You're off.
- 1044. What the fuck are we doing?
- 1045. Ha ha.
- 1046. Visiontext Subtitles: Natasha Cohn
- 1047. And cut.