1. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.Copy !req
2. I'm X-ray Cat. I've got super powers.Copy !req
3. I can see through wooden doors
with my X-ray vision. Wooden doors.Copy !req
4. I can see the criminal on the other side.Copy !req
5. He can't see me, and he's committing crime.Copy !req
6. I come along and say "I can see you. He says
"You can't. " I say "Yes, I can with my... "Copy !req
7. X-ray...Copy !req
8. X-ray Cat.Copy !req
9. "You can't get me. You can't get me. "
"Yes, I can. Yes, I can. "Copy !req
10. "Yes, I can. Yes... "Copy !req
11. The bananas.Copy !req
12. I know a banana who applied for a job
as a telephone repairman.Copy !req
13. Guy came and said "You want a job here?"
And he said "Yeah, I wanna get a job. "Copy !req
14. "You got the job!
You got the job, buddy!"Copy !req
15. And then the beavers came. The beaver
started yelling at the other beaver.Copy !req
16. The beaver started yelling at the other beaver.
He said "You stupid beaver!"Copy !req
17. "You stupid... "Copy !req
18. Bye, Gord. Good luck.Copy !req
19. Hey! Get off that skateboard!Copy !req
20. Gordie, honey.
I'm so sad you're leaving me.Copy !req
21. Why are you moving to Los Angeles
to work in a cheese factory?Copy !req
22. I'm not gonna just work in a cheese sandwich
factory. I'm gonna shop my drawings.Copy !req
23. - I'm gonna be like Charles Schulz.
- You'll be fine.Copy !req
24. - No, I'm gonna be like Charles Schulz.
- That's my boy. Confidence.Copy !req
25. You're a big man now.
You've got a job, a goddamn real job, Gord.Copy !req
26. And you gave up on those stupid doodles.Copy !req
27. They're not stupid. They're not stupid.Copy !req
28. Whatever. At least
you're leaving Daddy's basement.Copy !req
29. Sh, Jim. He has a very nice job.Copy !req
30. Look at our little baby boy.
He's all grown up. You come here.Copy !req
31. - Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom...
- You little baby...Copy !req
32. Mom, stop it. Stop it.
Mom, I'm a 28-year-old man.Copy !req
33. Hey, baby. He's a 28-year-old man.Copy !req
34. Yeah, I'm a 28-year-old man.Copy !req
35. My bus is about to leave,
so I'm gonna get on it...Copy !req
36. and I'm gonna leave... on it.Copy !req
37. - Son, wait.
- What?Copy !req
38. You're not taking that bus to Los Angeles.Copy !req
39. You bought me a ticket
on this bus to Los Angeles.Copy !req
40. That's not all we bought you.Copy !req
41. - There! It's yours. Hop in.
- Oh!Copy !req
42. - Come on, you're driving.
- It's a... It's a LeBaron.Copy !req
43. You bet your boots it's a LeBaron.Copy !req
44. Good car. Convertible.Copy !req
45. Jeez. A convertible.Copy !req
46. It says "#1 Son" on the license plate.
That's me. I'm the number one son.Copy !req
47. - What about me, Mom?
- You're number one son, too.Copy !req
48. Then how come
Gord gets a LeBaron and I don't?Copy !req
49. - Cos they love me more than they love you.
- No. No, they don't.Copy !req
50. Oh, yeah? I only see one LeBaron, Freddy.
I don't see two LeBarons.Copy !req
51. - Gordie. Gordie.
- Do you see two?Copy !req
52. - Knock it off.
- Where's your LeBaron, Freddy?Copy !req
53. - Boys! Boys!
- How many LeBarons are there? Two?Copy !req
54. Shut up!Copy !req
55. Gord, this car is more than a gift.
It's...Copy !req
56. It's kind of an investment in you.Copy !req
57. It means I believe in my son.Copy !req
58. You be a good man.Copy !req
59. Father, I... I will be a good man.Copy !req
60. You make your daddy proud. You hear me?Copy !req
61. I'm gonna make you proud, Daddy.Copy !req
62. I'm gonna make you so proud.Copy !req
63. Make your daddy proud.Copy !req
64. - You're gonna be so proud.
- Proud?Copy !req
65. Proud.Copy !req
66. Get the fuck outta the way!Copy !req
67. Well...Copy !req
68. the boy's grown up.Copy !req
69. He's finally gone.Copy !req
70. - What are you doin' to that horse?
- This is a stud farm, boy.Copy !req
71. I wanna try the horsey!
I wanna try the horsey!Copy !req
72. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
73. Oh, this is fun!
Look at me, Daddy. I'm a farmer.Copy !req
74. Oh! Oh! This is fun. Look at me, Daddy.Copy !req
75. I'm a farmer. I'm a farmer, Daddy.Copy !req
76. When I grow up I wanna be a farmer!
I'm a farmer!Copy !req
77. - I'm really proud of that kid.
- Yeah. I think he's all grown up.Copy !req
78. Look at me.Copy !req
79. I'm sexy. I'm a sexy boy.Copy !req
80. Ding-dong! Ding-dong!Copy !req
81. Ding-dong! Ding-dong!Copy !req
82. Ding-dong! Ding-dong!Copy !req
83. Ding-dong!Copy !req
84. - That's lunch, everyone.
- Hey, are you guys leaving?Copy !req
85. Can I help you?Copy !req
86. Excuse me. Can I help you?Copy !req
87. - Excuse me!
- It's OK. I'm here with the bag.Copy !req
88. - Bag?
- The bag for the eels.Copy !req
89. - What?
- For the badger, the badger.Copy !req
90. What? What?Copy !req
91. Hey! What are you talking about?
Are you here for a delivery?Copy !req
92. - Japan 4.
- Japan 4? What?Copy !req
93. Japan 4?Copy !req
94. I've got the package you guys ordered.Copy !req
95. - Wait. Who's it for?
- It's smudged.Copy !req
96. I can really only make out "Boss".Copy !req
97. - You mean Mr. Davidson?
- Uh, Peter Davidson?Copy !req
98. - Dave.
- Dave Davidson, yeah. Dave Davidson.Copy !req
99. See, that part was really smudged. OK?Copy !req
100. You said Dave Davidson, then it triggered
into my brain. You know how that happens?Copy !req
101. - He's the head guy?
- Yes.Copy !req
102. So if you wanted to get a TV show based on
your animations, he's the guy to talk to?Copy !req
103. - Yes.
- OK. He has brown hair?Copy !req
104. - Blond.
- Blond hair?Copy !req
105. Blond hair! I'm looking for someone
who is blond! Blond hair!Copy !req
106. Are you a blond? Are you a blond?Copy !req
107. - The blond...?
- He's at lunch, so I'll take the package.Copy !req
108. - He's at lunch?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
109. His wife is dead.Copy !req
110. What? Linda?Copy !req
111. - Yeah, yeah, Linda. She's dead.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
112. So I should tell him.
Probably best I tell him.Copy !req
113. - Who are you?
- I'm...Copy !req
114. I'm Quincy. I'm with the Coroner's Office.
I'm like a police officer.Copy !req
115. So I should see Mr. Davidson
cos I'm a police officer.Copy !req
116. OK. I...Copy !req
117. He'll be at that restaurant.Copy !req
118. - He'll be devastated.
- OK...Copy !req
119. God, he loved Linda.Copy !req
120. - He did love Linda.
- I know.Copy !req
121. I think it's wonderful
when two people love one another, and...Copy !req
122. even though there's a chance one of
those two people will die a horrible death...Copy !req
123. that doesn't make me fear love.
I'm not afraid of love.Copy !req
124. Could I be your boyfriend? I love you.Copy !req
125. - Get outta here!
- No, no, no. I was just thinking...Copy !req
126. A woman is dead. Linda is dead!Copy !req
127. I thought we could grieve together
over the dead Linda, over the dead woman.Copy !req
128. Fuck off!Copy !req
129. You're a skinny loser!Copy !req
130. - Someone call Security.
- Don't.Copy !req
131. Shit!Copy !req
132. - Security!
- Don't call them, OK? I gotta go.Copy !req
133. Tell Hanna-Barbera to go fuck themselves.Copy !req
134. I got twelve Korean teenagers in a tiger cage
that can draw a fucking dog wearing a cape.Copy !req
135. OK. I'm looking for a Mr. Dave Davidson.Copy !req
136. - Are you Dave Davidson?
- No.Copy !req
137. - David Davidson?
- My name's Peter.Copy !req
138. - I'm looking for a David Davidson.
- I'm a woman.Copy !req
139. - Did I ask what sex you are?
- No.Copy !req
140. - Did I ask if you were David Davidson?
- My name is Cheryl.Copy !req
141. - I'm Dave Davidson. Is there a problem?
- You're Mr. Davidson?Copy !req
142. - Yeah, officer. Is there a problem here?
- I'm not really a cop.Copy !req
143. My name's Gord, and I want
to show you my drawings.Copy !req
144. Your drawings? Are you kidding?Copy !req
145. Mr. Davidson, I'm an animator. I've got
this idea I wanna pitch to you. It's a cartoon.Copy !req
146. It's a cat with super powers.
It can see through wooden doors.Copy !req
147. He solves crimes, he can fly.
My friends and I think it's hilarious.Copy !req
148. He flies like this. It's great.Copy !req
149. Right, well, I'm glad
your friends enjoy it, OK?Copy !req
150. Tell me something, what do you want?Copy !req
151. I want you to help me make it
into a TV show.Copy !req
152. You just barge into a restaurant
dressed like a fucking English bobby...Copy !req
153. and expect someone to give you a TV show?Copy !req
154. Uh, I don't know. Um...Copy !req
155. - Yeah.
- Do me a favor? Leave me alone.Copy !req
156. - Please, please...
- Valet?Copy !req
157. - Please, just look at my drawings.
- Yeah, OK. Fine.Copy !req
158. It's X-ray Cat, but instead of seeing through
everything, he can only see through wood.Copy !req
159. So if there's something on the other side
of a wooden door... See the criminal?Copy !req
160. - I see the criminal. I see the door.
- He sees the criminal and saves the day...Copy !req
161. to the dismay of the police cos they hate it
when people take the law into their hands.Copy !req
162. - Like a Batman.
- Like a Guardian Angel. What's that called?Copy !req
163. - Like a vigilante.
- Like a vigilante! He's like a vigilante...Copy !req
164. uh, cat.Copy !req
165. It's a cat who's a vigilante.
A cat who is a vigilante.Copy !req
166. I got that, Gord. Listen, your drawings are
pretty good, but it doesn't make sense, OK?Copy !req
167. It's fucking stupid. OK?Copy !req
168. What you need here is elevation.Copy !req
169. There has to be something that happens
that's funny. What the fuck's happening here?Copy !req
170. - OK. That's a banana...
- I see the banana, Gord.Copy !req
171. - With string.
- I see the string.Copy !req
172. With a bag of eyes on the other end,
ba-ba-baboon eyes...Copy !req
173. with sauce...Copy !req
174. uh, dripping.Copy !req
175. Dripping sauce and a baboon.Copy !req
176. You see what I mean?
It doesn't make any sense, Gord.Copy !req
177. It sucks! The drawings are pretty good,
but the characters are lame.Copy !req
178. God. The characters are lame.
I'm a loser. I wish I was dead!Copy !req
179. Gord, listen! Wait, wait, wait. Listen.Copy !req
180. I'm trying to give you
a piece of advice. Will you stop?Copy !req
181. You gotta figure these animals out.
You gotta figure them out.Copy !req
182. You gotta get inside the animals. OK?Copy !req
183. Figure them out.Copy !req
184. Take that out. I can't understand.Copy !req
185. - I gotta get inside the animals?
- Get inside the animals.Copy !req
186. - You mean I shouldn't blow my brains out?
- No. No, you shouldn't blow your brains out.Copy !req
187. Wanna play in the big leagues?
You gotta work on it 24 hours a day.Copy !req
188. You gotta give it weeks and weeks
and months and months and years!Copy !req
189. And then if it doesn't work out, Gord,
then blow your fucking brains out.Copy !req
190. But, sir, I can't work on this all day.
I got a job at the cheese sandwich factory.Copy !req
191. The cheese sandwich factory? That's funny.Copy !req
192. No, it's true. I gotta make cheese sandwiches.Copy !req
193. - I got rent and...
- Gord, listen.Copy !req
194. If you really wanna be an animator,
you should quit the shitty cheese job.Copy !req
195. Think about it, all right?Copy !req
196. Gord, you really wanna be an animator...Copy !req
197. get inside the animals.Copy !req
198. "Get inside the animals. "Copy !req
199. You were a big boy, weren't ya?Copy !req
200. Oh, stinky.Copy !req
201. Holy shit!Copy !req
202. I wasn't...
I wasn't expecting that to happen.Copy !req
203. Gord, you're back! Whoa!Copy !req
204. There we go.Copy !req
205. Hello?Copy !req
206. Now listen, Gordie's gonna be a little upset
about being back home, so just be nice.Copy !req
207. I'm home.Copy !req
208. - Gordie, sit down. We're having roast beef.
- Why do you guys always have roast beef?Copy !req
209. Boo-hoo! Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy
hurts cos there's too much roast beef in it.Copy !req
210. It's just boring.Copy !req
211. - I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
- You're not!Copy !req
212. This is crazy. I'm 28 years old. I should
be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want.Copy !req
213. He's 28 years old and he can eat
a chicken sandwich. Very impressive.Copy !req
214. Mike Fitzgibbon's son
is a nuclear physicist...Copy !req
215. and my son can eat a chicken!Copy !req
216. Jim, no!Copy !req
217. You can either eat that goddamn roast beef,
or you can go to bed.Copy !req
218. Good.Copy !req
219. Sh. Gord! Gord!
Don't hammer 'em so loud. Jeez.Copy !req
220. It's late. You're gonna wake up your parents.Copy !req
221. - You're right. I'll use the electric nail gun.
- Yeah.Copy !req
222. Sh. Sh. Gord. Gord!Copy !req
223. - What?
- Oh, boys!Copy !req
224. Will you two faggots stop making
so fucking much noise? We're sleeping.Copy !req
225. Sh!Copy !req
226. Goddammit!Copy !req
227. It's three in the morning!Copy !req
228. - Stop the fucking hammering!
- Jim, I got a kid over here. OK?Copy !req
229. - Gord, are you almost done over there?
- Yeah, nearly, Mr. Malloy.Copy !req
230. Hey, Gord.
Can I play on your ramp tomorrow?Copy !req
231. Sure, Andy. Any time.Copy !req
232. Has your dad got, like, bowel problems?Copy !req
233. - Let's skate this thing.
- Don't you think it's kinda dark, Gord?Copy !req
234. I gotta work tomorrow.Copy !req
235. You mean to say we're finished now and you
are not gonna enjoy the fruits of your labor?Copy !req
236. I don't have the right shoes on.
They're slippery and they got no sole.Copy !req
237. - Just enjoy the fruits here.
- Don't say "the fruits".Copy !req
238. OK.Copy !req
239. Holy shit.Copy !req
240. Dirty little shit! You think that's funny?
I gotta work in the morning.Copy !req
241. Argh!Copy !req
242. - Dad, what the fuck? He hurt his leg.
- He shouldn't have been screaming out here.Copy !req
243. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
244. Oh! Oh, Christ! Oh, God!Copy !req
245. Get him a job!Copy !req
246. Get him an ambulance!
You get a job. He's got a job.Copy !req
247. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
248. - Hi. I'm looking for my friend Darren.
- Sh.Copy !req
249. Wow. That's a...
Oh, that's a neat trick you do there.Copy !req
250. Yeah! Yeah, my record's seven in a row.Copy !req
251. Oh!Copy !req
252. Wow. Are hospitals always this fun?Copy !req
253. No. Sometimes... Sometimes
people here die of cancer.Copy !req
254. - Cancer, huh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
255. Hi, I'm Gord.Copy !req
256. Hi. I'm Betty.Copy !req
257. Uh...Copy !req
258. - That creamer game's fun.
- Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's my hobby.Copy !req
259. - Yeah. My passion is...
- Creamers?Copy !req
260. No! No. Not just the creamers.Copy !req
261. Physics. Flight, actually.Copy !req
262. I'm kind of a rocket scientist,
to tell the truth. Yeah.Copy !req
263. Well, OK, amateur. Amateur rocket scientist.Copy !req
264. - It's still pretty crazy.
- Yeah. I know.Copy !req
265. - What do you do?
- Me, uh...Copy !req
266. Investments. I do investments.Copy !req
267. Um... Consulting in the business... business.Copy !req
268. Um, analyzing stocks.Copy !req
269. Uh... NASDAQ, Dow Jones,
Wall Street Journal...Copy !req
270. uh, New York City, CNN.
- Oh, wow. Wow. You must be rich.Copy !req
271. Yeah. You know, they have creamers
in places other than hospitals.Copy !req
272. And I thought...
If this is forward, just tell me...Copy !req
273. but maybe we could go to
one of those places, like a restaurant.Copy !req
274. We could flip them together there sometime.Copy !req
275. Uh...Copy !req
276. That'd be fun. Here's my number.Copy !req
277. OK. Call me.Copy !req
278. Oh, gotta run. I'll talk to you soon.
Call me, Gord.Copy !req
279. Bye!Copy !req
280. Have you seen that girl, the doctor?Copy !req
281. No. I haven't exactly been able
to get up and wander around, Gord.Copy !req
282. OK, well, it's weird cos I asked her out
on a date and she said yes.Copy !req
283. - Yeah, that is weird.
- Excuse me. Could you keep it down?Copy !req
284. This is a hospital room and I'm pregnant.Copy !req
285. Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
I didn't realize that you were pregnant.Copy !req
286. So anyway, that girl I asked out on a date,
see, I thought she could walk.Copy !req
287. - She's handicapped? Is that what you mean?
- She's in a wheelchair.Copy !req
288. Could you please just shut the fuck up?
I am fucking pregnant!Copy !req
289. - You saying you hate people in wheelchairs?
- I don't hate them.Copy !req
290. I think it's clear what you're saying.
You hate the handicapped.Copy !req
291. I don't. You're handicapped.
I don't hate you. See?Copy !req
292. You're handicapped. You're handicapped.Copy !req
293. - You bastard!
- My baby's coming! My baby is coming!Copy !req
294. Help.Copy !req
295. Help. My baby is coming.Copy !req
296. Oh, no.Copy !req
297. No, no, no.Copy !req
298. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
299. - Are you OK, ma'am?
- My baby is coming. My baby is coming.Copy !req
300. - Call the doctor, you fucking asshole!
- It's OK. I'm a doctor.Copy !req
301. No, get me a real doctor.Copy !req
302. I am a real doctor. See? I'm a real doctor.Copy !req
303. Get away from me!Copy !req
304. - Here. Spread your legs for me, OK?
- No! No!Copy !req
305. What are you doing? What are you doing?Copy !req
306. - I see the problem here.
- Don't.Copy !req
307. There seems to be a little baby
inside your body.Copy !req
308. Here. Give me your head, little fellow.Copy !req
309. Give me your head, little fellow.
Here, little fellow.Copy !req
310. I got you. I got you. I got her. I got her.Copy !req
311. I got her. I got her. I got her. I got her.Copy !req
312. Put it back, Gord.Copy !req
313. You gotta cut the cord.
You gotta cut the cord.Copy !req
314. Jeez, do I have to do everything?Copy !req
315. Oh, God. Help me.Copy !req
316. Why isn't it crying?Copy !req
317. Uh, it's sleeping?Copy !req
318. - Give me my baby, you fucker!
- I'll wake up your baby.Copy !req
319. - Gordie!
- Wakey-wakey! Wakey-wakey!Copy !req
320. Wakey-wakey! Wakey-wakey!Copy !req
321. I saved the day.Copy !req
322. Thank you.Copy !req
323. I saved the day.Copy !req
324. I saved the day.Copy !req
325. My pretty baby girl.Copy !req
326. - Don't ever come back. Ever.
- I saved the day.Copy !req
327. - You did not save the day.
- What's going on, Gord?Copy !req
328. I saved the day. Don't touch
my shoulder, OK? I saved the day.Copy !req
329. Seems like they got
a problem with heroes around here.Copy !req
330. I saved the day, Betty.Copy !req
331. - I'll call you tonight.
- OK.Copy !req
332. Hey! Come on in. Just got four in a row.Copy !req
333. - What?
- Creamers. Four creamer flips in a row.Copy !req
334. - Come watch.
- Oh, cool.Copy !req
335. Whoo! I got another one.Copy !req
336. - No way. Are those actually rockets?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
337. - I'm designing a rocket-powered wheelchair.
- Really?Copy !req
338. - That's incredible. Does it work?
- No.Copy !req
339. No, I haven't been able
to quite figure it out yet.Copy !req
340. Don't you feel like a stupid dummy?Copy !req
341. - Excuse me?
- You tried to make it work, but it doesn't.Copy !req
342. - It must make you feel like a stupid dummy.
- No.Copy !req
343. I didn't expect to master the intricacies
of rocketry on my first attempt. It's a process.Copy !req
344. - You sort of learn from your mistakes.
- Hm. Never thought of it like that.Copy !req
345. Besides, they don't let me
work on it at the hospital.Copy !req
346. They don't think handicapped people
should go fast, but it's bullshit...Copy !req
347. cos I like going fast and I like rockets...Copy !req
348. because they're hot...
and hard... and long.Copy !req
349. Actually, I thought we could
kinda go to a movie or something.Copy !req
350. Uh, hi.Copy !req
351. How are you?Copy !req
352. Be a lot better if you'd spank my legs
with this bamboo.Copy !req
353. Um...Copy !req
354. What?Copy !req
355. Just whack it against my shins
as hard as you can, OK?Copy !req
356. Uh... I guess.Copy !req
357. Um...Copy !req
358. How's that?Copy !req
359. Come on, Gordie.
You can do better than that.Copy !req
360. What are you, a little puss?Copy !req
361. - A puss? A pussy?
- Come on.Copy !req
362. - Come on, pussy. You can do better.
- Pussy? I don't know...Copy !req
363. - How's that?
- Come on, pussy, pussy!Copy !req
364. Don't be shy, little pussy.Copy !req
365. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
366. Oh, come on, I wanna see them bleed!Copy !req
367. Oh, yeah! I felt a tingle!Copy !req
368. Oh, don't stop! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
369. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
370. You wanna get another tingle?Copy !req
371. Ow! Gord, what the fuck?Copy !req
372. Not my face! It's not my face
that's paralyzed, you fuck!Copy !req
373. Sorry. I...Copy !req
374. I've never really caned anyone before.Copy !req
375. It's OK.Copy !req
376. It's your turn now.Copy !req
377. OK.Copy !req
378. Don't do it too hard, though.Copy !req
379. I've got sensitive knees.Copy !req
380. Oh, I'm not gonna whack your legs
with the bamboo, Gord.Copy !req
381. I'm gonna give you a blow job.Copy !req
382. Betty, it's only our first date. We should go
do romantic stuff first, like walk in the park.Copy !req
383. - I can't walk.
- Maybe I could take you out for a roll.Copy !req
384. I'd rather stay here and suck!Copy !req
385. The thing is... I think... OK.Copy !req
386. Come here, Gord.Copy !req
387. Uh...Copy !req
388. Hm.Copy !req
389. Um...Copy !req
390. That's my umbilical cord.Copy !req
391. Oh? Didn't you ever have that removed?Copy !req
392. Um...Copy !req
393. It's taped. It's just for fun.Copy !req
394. I taped it there for fun.Copy !req
395. Uh...Copy !req
396. OK. I can work around it.Copy !req
397. Wait... wait... wait...Copy !req
398. - Come on.
- Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
399. OK.Copy !req
400. - Hello, Father.
- Hey, Freddy!Copy !req
401. - How are you, son?
- I'm working hard, just like you taught me.Copy !req
402. - You moving back home, Freddy?
- What? No, no, no.Copy !req
403. No way, Mother. I'm a man now.Copy !req
404. I'm all grown up and I'm out on my own
and I'm earning a good living.Copy !req
405. - Is it gonna be a busy day at the bank today?
- Well, I sure hope so.Copy !req
406. Is that, um...?Copy !req
407. Your big brother. He couldn't handle the
complexities of making a cheese sandwich...Copy !req
408. so now he's back home with us.
- Wow.Copy !req
409. Jeez, is that idiot still in the shower?
Shit, how much water is he gonna use?Copy !req
410. Yeah, how much is he gonna use? All of it?Copy !req
411. He should save some for the fish. Huh, Pop?Copy !req
412. Gord!Copy !req
413. I'll fix him.Copy !req
414. How's the water? Cold enough for ya?Copy !req
415. Dammit. Don't tell me you're so stupid, you
can't tell the difference between hot and cold.Copy !req
416. - What the fuck is going on?
- I'm underwater. Look, I found a treasure.Copy !req
417. - A treasure? That's soap on a rope.
- Sh. I'm pretending it's a treasure.Copy !req
418. Get out of my goddamn scuba gear,
you imbecile.Copy !req
419. Oh, no, the treasure!
It went into that underwater cave.Copy !req
420. Get out of that toilet!Copy !req
421. Get out of that toilet!Copy !req
422. Father, you saved me
from the giant barracuda.Copy !req
423. But, look, I salvaged the treasure.
We can live like kings.Copy !req
424. - We can live like kings!
- Forget that fucking soap.Copy !req
425. Clean up this mess and get your ass
out that door looking for a job, you retard.Copy !req
426. He's driving me insane.Copy !req
427. No. No, you're driving him insane.Copy !req
428. You're older than me
and you still live at home.Copy !req
429. I have a job, you know. I pay my own way.Copy !req
430. - You work in a bank. Should I be dazzled?
- Well, at least I don't live at home.Copy !req
431. No, you live in a tiny shithole
and you come here to eat for free.Copy !req
432. Whatever. Listen, I'm off to work now, OK?Copy !req
433. Me and Dad have jobs.
We're doing something with our lives.Copy !req
434. It's time for you to grow up.
Good luck with that job hunt, OK?Copy !req
435. All right. Let's cross our fingers.
OK, Freddy?Copy !req
436. Let's cross our fingers
and hope I get a job. I'm serious.Copy !req
437. Just cross your fingers.Copy !req
438. All right! Fingers crossed.Copy !req
439. I hope I get a jobbie, Freddy.
I got my fingers crossed.Copy !req
440. - I hope I get a job. I got my fingers crossed.
- Goodbye, Gord.Copy !req
441. I got my fingers crossed.Copy !req
442. Crossed. Crossed. Cro...Copy !req
443. ssed.Copy !req
444. Paid for his damn college.Copy !req
445. Sits at home all day, whacking off.Copy !req
446. Better have a damn job.Copy !req
447. Proud...Copy !req
448. My ass!Copy !req
449. Hey!Copy !req
450. - Gord!
- Dad!Copy !req
451. What in God's name are you doing,
you stupid little man? Wait...Copy !req
452. Did you get a job?Copy !req
453. Yeah.Copy !req
454. I got a job and I wanted to surprise you.Copy !req
455. Hey, you bullshitting me, boy?Copy !req
456. No, I got a job working nights
at a computer company.Copy !req
457. I was borrowing one of your suits till I could
get enough money to buy one of my own.Copy !req
458. Are you kidding? You can keep that suit.Copy !req
459. Oh, Gord, I knew you had it in ya.
You're just a late bloomer, that's all.Copy !req
460. Yeah, I just bloomed late.Copy !req
461. Hey, can I borrow 50 bucks
or something? For supplies.Copy !req
462. For, like, pens or Liquid Paper
or a Trapper Keeper...Copy !req
463. or one of those little compasses
that you put the pencil in...Copy !req
464. and you can make a circle,
a perfect circle.Copy !req
465. Hey, worker, take a hundred.Copy !req
466. Golly, Gord. I knew if I kept yelling at ya,
pounding you over the head with it...Copy !req
467. you'd come around.Copy !req
468. Golly, Dad. You were right all along.Copy !req
469. Oh! Come on. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
470. No, no, no!Copy !req
471. Just keep dancing, celebrate!
Hell, man, this is a great day.Copy !req
472. Oh! Oh, Gord. Oh, you're amazing!Copy !req
473. - Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
- I'm doing it good.Copy !req
474. Agh! Agh!Copy !req
475. Aaaaagh!Copy !req
476. - Am I doing it wrong?
- Oh, no!Copy !req
477. Oh, that was incredible.
Time for your blow job, Gordie.Copy !req
478. Oh, not right now, Betty.Copy !req
479. - Oh, Gordie, come on.
- I thought we could have a nice evening.Copy !req
480. - Don't you want me to suck it?
- No, no, no.Copy !req
481. - Betty, let go. Betty, just let go.
- No, no.Copy !req
482. - What, Gordie? Come on!
- Betty! Betty! Betty! Betty, come on.Copy !req
483. - Betty, stop it.
- What?Copy !req
484. Stop it!Copy !req
485. Why are you yelling?Copy !req
486. It's crazy. This is the second date we haven't
gone out on yet, and if you do this again...Copy !req
487. you'll have sucked 200% more times
than we've gone out on dates.Copy !req
488. And I just think if we went out on at least
one date and you didn't do any sucking...Copy !req
489. that'd make the whole sucking-to-date
ratio far more balanced, you know?Copy !req
490. Yeah. OK. Let's go out then.Copy !req
491. Good. Good.Copy !req
492. Jim, thank you for
taking me out for dinner tonight.Copy !req
493. Maybe now that Gord is working, we can
finally spend our evenings alone together.Copy !req
494. Jim, what are you doing?Copy !req
495. - Thank you. That was yummy.
- I'm so glad you liked it.Copy !req
496. Andy, would you like a piece of cake?Copy !req
497. Am I really allowed a piece of cake, Daddy?Copy !req
498. Of course you can have a piece of cake.
It's your birthday.Copy !req
499. - Yay!
- Yay!Copy !req
500. So, Gord...Copy !req
501. is your job really hard?Copy !req
502. It's not hard, no. I mean,
you have to be smart, really smart.Copy !req
503. You have to use your brain.
I have to use my brain.Copy !req
504. I like to see when the stocks are high, OK?Copy !req
505. - And I like to see when they're low.
- That's interesting.Copy !req
506. Sometimes they're really high.
Sometimes they're very high.Copy !req
507. That's high!Copy !req
508. That's when you wanna sell.
You buy them when they're down very low.Copy !req
509. Yeah. I have some graphs I can show you.Copy !req
510. If you pay attention to these patterns here,
you can see. I made these on my computer.Copy !req
511. Oh, boy. I need to spill some urine.
Where can I do that?Copy !req
512. The restrooms are at the other end
of the restaurant, sir.Copy !req
513. Thank you very, very much.Copy !req
514. Cheerio.Copy !req
515. - Wow. It's all over the place.
- This one here is high.Copy !req
516. - It's interesting.
- Just look at the patterns.Copy !req
517. Um...Copy !req
518. Is that, um... Did you need to...Copy !req
519. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
520. This is my... This is my cellular telephone.Copy !req
521. It's wireless. It uses satellites and terrestrial
antennas to send and receive transmissions.Copy !req
522. It's, um... It's a new thing.Copy !req
523. - Interesting.
- Hello?Copy !req
524. Hey. Here's my buddy Andy.Copy !req
525. Ah, somebody's eating some birthday cake.Copy !req
526. - Yes, sir. It's my birthday.
- Hey.Copy !req
527. - How you doing, Jim?
- I'm great.Copy !req
528. - So I guess Gord's busy these days, huh?
- Yeah. That kid of mine is something else.Copy !req
529. He's working day and night
at his big, new computer job.Copy !req
530. - Yeah, I noticed him over there.
- Say what?Copy !req
531. It looked like he was having
an important business meeting.Copy !req
532. - Oh, yeah.
- Speak up. I'm on my cellular telephone.Copy !req
533. I don't care, Bob.
You're fired. You're fired!Copy !req
534. You're fucking fired, Bob!Copy !req
535. Clean out your locker at the club, Bob.
You're fucking fired!Copy !req
536. Patterns. I don't fucking care
what he told you, OK?Copy !req
537. I'm talking about 40 million
fucking Deutschmark here, Bob.Copy !req
538. 40 million fucking Deutschmark!Copy !req
539. I told you to wire the money
to Geneva last week.Copy !req
540. I say Geneva, you hear Helsinki, huh?Copy !req
541. 40 million fucking Deutschmark, Bob!Copy !req
542. - What's going on?
- Da... Jim. Uh, Jim, hi.Copy !req
543. - Gord, is this your dad?
- No, this is little Timmy. Little Timmy.Copy !req
544. He works at the company.
He gets us food and stuff. Right, Timmy?Copy !req
545. What the fuck is going on, Gord?
Why aren't you at your new job?Copy !req
546. What are you talking about, Timmy?Copy !req
547. Oh, Jesus, Gord.Copy !req
548. There is no computer job, is there?Copy !req
549. You're just gallivanting around in my suit,
pretending to be a mover and a shaker.Copy !req
550. OK, Timmy. I'm on the cell... phone here.Copy !req
551. This is my phone from my kitchen.Copy !req
552. What the hell is this? Ah, boy.Copy !req
553. Here we go. Hah!Copy !req
554. My goddamn tape recorder.Copy !req
555. He's pretending to have a cell phone. He's
an unemployed loser living in my basement.Copy !req
556. Wait a minute.Copy !req
557. - You're a cripple.
- Dad.Copy !req
558. - Wha... What?
- Dad.Copy !req
559. - Got a problem with my legs?
- You've got the problem.Copy !req
560. - Either that, or you're just lazy.
- Hey, Dad, just shut up, OK?Copy !req
561. You're telling me to shut up?Copy !req
562. - Why is he shouting, Daddy?
- Can we get the check over here?Copy !req
563. retard, slut, whore!
- I am not retarded.Copy !req
564. - Daddy! Daddy!Copy !req
565. Goodbye, Gord.Copy !req
566. Betty, don't go!Copy !req
567. Shut up, Dad!Copy !req
568. Shut up! Shut up!Copy !req
569. - This is a fancy restaurant.
- Oh, this is a fancy restaurant.Copy !req
570. This is a fancy restaurant.
It's a fancy... It's a fancy restaurant.Copy !req
571. - Spanking. Spanking.
- You want a spanking?Copy !req
572. Spanking. Spanking.Copy !req
573. Agh!Copy !req
574. Agh!Copy !req
575. Get off the fucking bar, asshole!Copy !req
576. Um...Copy !req
577. thanks for bailing me out, Betty.Copy !req
578. Your dad called me a retard, slut, whore.
I don't think he likes me too much, Gord.Copy !req
579. - That was little Timmy.
- Gord.Copy !req
580. Come here.Copy !req
581. I know it was your dad.Copy !req
582. - You could have told me you lived at home.
- Even though that means I'm a loser?Copy !req
583. Just because you're not a stockbroker
doesn't mean you're a loser.Copy !req
584. So what do you do?Copy !req
585. Actually, I kinda draw pictures.Copy !req
586. Really? What kind of pictures? Like fruits?Copy !req
587. - Oh, not fruits. I've drawn fruit before.
- Yeah?Copy !req
588. - Animations.
- Oh, wow.Copy !req
589. That's great. I've never met
a real animator before.Copy !req
590. I'm not really a real animator.Copy !req
591. Life's hectic. I'm having trouble
concentrating, with all the skateboarding...Copy !req
592. and you sucking my penis all the time.Copy !req
593. Oh, my ear popped. My ear just popped.Copy !req
594. - I think I heard it.
- When I laughed, my ear popped.Copy !req
595. Well, Gordie, maybe
you're concentrating a little too hard.Copy !req
596. Maybe you just need to relax while you draw.Copy !req
597. You know, eat some food, play some music.Copy !req
598. I only have two hands, Betty.
How am I supposed to do all that?Copy !req
599. - What?
- Eat food and play music and draw?Copy !req
600. - What?
- At the same time?Copy !req
601. Oh... yeah.Copy !req
602. What in the name of
sweet breakfast meats are you doing?Copy !req
603. For your information, I'm being creative.Copy !req
604. Betty told me this is what
I need to do to become an artist.Copy !req
605. Oh, yeah? Is it working?Copy !req
606. I don't know. I can't think of
anything to draw because I'm so stupid!Copy !req
607. Shit. Hey, this is kinda funny, Gord.Copy !req
608. - Yeah?
- Maybe you can't see it cos he's your dad...Copy !req
609. but he's a character, your dad.Copy !req
610. - He is?
- Yeah.Copy !req
611. - He's a character?
- Shit. It's your dad.Copy !req
612. He's rigged a pulley system so he can eat
sausage and work on his stupid drawings.Copy !req
613. I'm being creative. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I still have some work to do.Copy !req
614. Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
615. Now, you just get outside
and you just cool off!Copy !req
616. If this were Pakistan, you'd have been sewing
soccer balls when you were four years old.Copy !req
617. Miserable, deadbeat punk.Copy !req
618. I bust my ass working for my family.Copy !req
619. You take his side every time.Copy !req
620. You want me to cool down?
All right, I'm gonna show you a cool down.Copy !req
621. Oh, just keep kissing his ass.Copy !req
622. Cool down!Copy !req
623. Hey? How's this for a cool down? Agh!Copy !req
624. I feel better already.Copy !req
625. Aaaagh!Copy !req
626. My ramp... Why?Copy !req
627. - He's such a stupid loser.
- He's not stupid.Copy !req
628. We shouldn't put up with the way
he treats us. I wouldn't stand for it.Copy !req
629. If I were you, I would show him
that I deserve respect.Copy !req
630. - If I were you, I would go out. I'd have sex.
- Oh, honey. No.Copy !req
631. If I were you, I'd go out.
I'd have sex with strange men.Copy !req
632. I'd have sex with basketball players.Copy !req
633. I'd have sex with Greeks.Copy !req
634. Men from Greece.Copy !req
635. I'd satisfy my urges.Copy !req
636. I'd satisfy my sexual desires.Copy !req
637. Gordie, honey, come on.
Let's go in the house.Copy !req
638. Come on.Copy !req
639. Come on.Copy !req
640. - That's my ramp.
- I know.Copy !req
641. - He wrecked my ramp.
- I know. It's OK.Copy !req
642. - My skateboard ramp.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
643. I had the sausages on my fingers.
I was trying to play piano.Copy !req
644. I had the sausages.
I had the sausages and the string.Copy !req
645. I was playing the organ,
and then he smashed my half-pipe.Copy !req
646. Jim, do you hear what Gord is saying here?Copy !req
647. I hear him boohooing about his broken
wheelie-board ramp. Is that what you mean?Copy !req
648. Yes, Jim. But do you
understand what he's saying?Copy !req
649. Sounds to me like he just wants you
to accept him as your son.Copy !req
650. To approve of him
and what he wants to do with his life.Copy !req
651. How does that make you feel?Copy !req
652. First of all, I don't give a rat's ass
what this punk wants.Copy !req
653. As long as he lives in my house
and eats my food, I make the rules.Copy !req
654. - I wanna eat chicken burgers.
- You prick.Copy !req
655. Jim, don't hurt my baby. Now, sit down.Copy !req
656. You're an embarrassment to my family.Copy !req
657. Oh, yeah? Well, at least
I don't touch Freddy.Copy !req
658. - Say what?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
659. Yeah, he touches my little brother. He takes
him behind the furnace and touches him.Copy !req
660. - See the insanity I put up with?
- He's embarrassed.Copy !req
661. - Jim!
- He touches my little brother.Copy !req
662. He...Copy !req
663. He... He fingers him.Copy !req
664. - You're a goddamn liar.
- Jim! Do you touch him?Copy !req
665. Do you finger our boy?Copy !req
666. Don't get wacky on me.
What the fuck are we talking about?Copy !req
667. Mr. Brody, this is very serious.Copy !req
668. Based on what I've heard here today,
I am required by law to notify the authorities.Copy !req
669. You hear that, Dad? You're gonna pay!Copy !req
670. He's a molester. He's a child molester!Copy !req
671. Agh!Copy !req
672. You'd better run, you li-aaaaaaar!Copy !req
673. so then we placed a retractor.
This holds the abdominal wall open.Copy !req
674. - Hi. Can I help you?
- Uh, yes, you can.Copy !req
675. We're here for little Freddy.Copy !req
676. I'm Freddy.Copy !req
677. Oh.Copy !req
678. Well, um...Copy !req
679. Freddy, I'm a doctor.Copy !req
680. And we need to take you with us.Copy !req
681. What?Copy !req
682. - What did I do wrong?
- No. No, you didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
683. That's the most important thing
for you to remember.Copy !req
684. It's not your fault your dad fingered you.Copy !req
685. What are you talking about?
My dad doesn't finger me.Copy !req
686. - Come on, son. We'll take you outta here.
- No! No, I'm not going anywhere.Copy !req
687. - My father does not finger me.
- It's over, Freddy.Copy !req
688. We'll take you someplace where
your dad won't be able to hurt you any more.Copy !req
689. - Officer.
- Come with me, son.Copy !req
690. Guys, my dad doesn't finger me.
Are you crazy?Copy !req
691. It's OK, Freddy. It's OK.
You'll be safe now.Copy !req
692. I'm 25 years old.Copy !req
693. Dad?Copy !req
694. Dad!Copy !req
695. - Dad!
- What are you doing with my boy?Copy !req
696. - Help.
- I'll get you a lawyer.Copy !req
697. Freddy, no!Copy !req
698. - I've never been fingered!
- It's OK, Julie.Copy !req
699. Your husband's deeply disturbed and we
won't let him hurt your little boy any more.Copy !req
700. I didn't do anything.Copy !req
701. What are you looking at, bitch?Copy !req
702. Honey!Copy !req
703. Julie!Copy !req
704. - What're you doing?
- Stop it. I'm working on those.Copy !req
705. I'm getting 'em ready to show Mr. Davidson.Copy !req
706. - Stop it.
- Scared I'm ruining these little sketches?Copy !req
707. Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
708. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Mickey Mouse!Copy !req
709. Fuck you, Dad.Copy !req
710. Fuck me?Copy !req
711. Yeah, fuck you.Copy !req
712. Do you wanna fuck me?
Is that what you said?Copy !req
713. - What?
- Do you want to fuck me?Copy !req
714. Huh?Copy !req
715. All right, Gord.Copy !req
716. Come on over here...Copy !req
717. and fuck me.Copy !req
718. Come on, Gord.
Get your ass over here and fuck me.Copy !req
719. Just stick it right in here.Copy !req
720. - Put your ass away.
- Here. Your sketches, here.Copy !req
721. Ooh! Oh!Copy !req
722. Holy shit, Dad. What are you doing?Copy !req
723. Why don't you come on over here
and fuck your daddy?Copy !req
724. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck Daddy.Copy !req
725. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
726. Julie?Copy !req
727. Sweetie?Copy !req
728. You, Gordon Brody, you're nothing.Copy !req
729. - You're nothing and will always be nothing.
- Dad...Copy !req
730. God! I've never been
so ashamed of anything in my life.Copy !req
731. Dad.Copy !req
732. Julie!Copy !req
733. Julie.Copy !req
734. Oh, shit.Copy !req
735. Oh, the hypergolic propellants aren't mixing.Copy !req
736. Ah, of course. It's the oxidizer.Copy !req
737. Too bad it didn't work, huh?Copy !req
738. Oh, hey, Gord. How are
the animations coming along?Copy !req
739. Well, see, there's been a change in plans.Copy !req
740. I figured, instead of following my dream
of being an animator, I'm just gonna give up.Copy !req
741. Why?Copy !req
742. Because.Copy !req
743. - Because why?
- Cos why shouldn't I?Copy !req
744. My dad was right all along. It is stupid.Copy !req
745. It's time I grow up and get a job,
instead of acting like a little baby all the time.Copy !req
746. But you're not a baby. You can't just quit.Copy !req
747. Shut up, Betty. Just shut up.Copy !req
748. I've as much a chance of being an animator
as you have of getting this chair to work.Copy !req
749. Can't you see we're both just stupid idiots?Copy !req
750. - Gord...
- "Gord!"Copy !req
751. "Gordie!"Copy !req
752. I'm so close to getting this rocket to work.Copy !req
753. Rockets! Rockets!
"I'm gonna get my rockets to work!"Copy !req
754. It's always about the rockets.Copy !req
755. You got fingered?Copy !req
756. No. OK?Copy !req
757. It's OK.Copy !req
758. I know.Copy !req
759. Now I'll tell you once more.
Stop trying to act so grown up.Copy !req
760. - Is there a problem?
- Yeah, moron.Copy !req
761. I ordered a cheese sandwich
and there's hardly any cheese in here.Copy !req
762. That's no good, is it?Copy !req
763. Here, give me your sandwich.
I will fix it for you.Copy !req
764. You can't have complaints there's not
enough cheese in the cheese sandwiches.Copy !req
765. I mean, if there's no cheese in a cheese
sandwich, that's just two slices of bread.Copy !req
766. If word of that were to get out,
well, I could lose my job.Copy !req
767. I could lose all of this!Copy !req
768. And we wouldn't want that, would we?Copy !req
769. Would we?Copy !req
770. Would we?Copy !req
771. Huh?Copy !req
772. - What the fuck am I gonna do with that?
- You could stick it in your bum-bum.Copy !req
773. You can put the cheese in your bum.Copy !req
774. - ... go on upstairs to your room.
- OK. If that's what you want.Copy !req
775. Julie!Copy !req
776. Sweetheart, wait.Copy !req
777. Let's talk, sugar.Copy !req
778. There's nothing to talk about.
I can't be with you another second.Copy !req
779. Wait. What about our dreams, baby doll?Copy !req
780. I'm sure you'd rather find
some young boys instead of me.Copy !req
781. - What the hell are you talking about?
- I saw what you were doing downstairs.Copy !req
782. Whatever you saw
was completely out of context.Copy !req
783. I just told him to fuck me
because Gord said "Fuck you, Dad. "Copy !req
784. Don't you get it? Fuck you, fuck me.
Fuck you, fuck me. Fuck you, fuck me.Copy !req
785. And I never fingered Freddy!Copy !req
786. And now over to Phil,
who has a special-interest story. Phil?Copy !req
787. We've heard of electric wheelchairs, but
have you heard of one powered by rockets?Copy !req
788. A girl by the name of Betty Menger may not
be able to walk, but it hasn't slowed her down.Copy !req
789. She's a scientist who designed a wheelchair
that does 0 to 60 in under four seconds.Copy !req
790. She did it.Copy !req
791. Look at her go!Copy !req
792. Way to go, Betty.Copy !req
793. Yeah, hi.Copy !req
794. Do you think that I pay you to stand
around watching TV? Get back to work.Copy !req
795. - Sorry, kid. I don't think this'll work out.
- Don't call me kid.Copy !req
796. Sir, although I respect your authority here
at Submarine Supreme...Copy !req
797. and I admire your position of power...Copy !req
798. I regretfully am going to have to again
bow out of the sandwich industry...Copy !req
799. because in reality I am an animator.Copy !req
800. I'm an animator, OK?Copy !req
801. See ya.Copy !req
802. - Where the hell d'you think you're going?
- To get a job, Dad. OK?Copy !req
803. - You must think I'm a damn idiot.
- Uh... yes.Copy !req
804. Bullshit, you're getting a job!Copy !req
805. You're a liar. You're grounded, you liar.Copy !req
806. - Grounded? I'm 28 years old.
- I don't care! Go to your room.Copy !req
807. Bye-bye, Daddy. Bye-bye, Daddy.
I'm going to get a jobbie!Copy !req
808. No, you're not!
Not in this damn car you're not!Copy !req
809. - Bye-bye, Daddy.
- Fuck you! Thief! Thief! Thief!Copy !req
810. - Where the fuck is he?
- Mr. Brody?Copy !req
811. - Where's my son?
- What?Copy !req
812. Where is he?Copy !req
813. Mr. Brody, please! I don't know. Agh!Copy !req
814. Are you gonna tell me, you little punk-ass?Copy !req
815. He's in Hollywood, selling his cartoons.Copy !req
816. Aaaaagh!Copy !req
817. Japan 4!Copy !req
818. OK. Davidson for four...Copy !req
819. Mr. Davidson, I have
something you need to see.Copy !req
820. - Is there a bomb in there, Gord?
- It's not a bomb.Copy !req
821. I did what you told me. I quit my shitty
cheese job, moved in with my parents.Copy !req
822. I worked really hard and
I came up with a concept. It's called:Copy !req
823. "Zebras in America". OK?Copy !req
824. It's about a family who move to America.Copy !req
825. It's a classic fish-out-of-water story,
except it's not fish...Copy !req
826. it's, uh, zebras... out of water.Copy !req
827. - Zebras don't live in water, but I understand.
- I know. That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
828. The zebras aren't in the water.
It's like Splash.Copy !req
829. I saw it. I loved it. But is this the father
character with a goatee like you? Is that him?Copy !req
830. - Yeah.
- Just seems a little unrealistic, that's all.Copy !req
831. - Unrealistic?
- Yeah.Copy !req
832. - He's a centaur, like a half-man, half-zebra.
- Right. Clash of the Titans. I saw it. I get it.Copy !req
833. Half-man, half-zebra, mutant. He's a...Copy !req
834. - The myth. The myth.
- It's a myth. It's like a Greek myth.Copy !req
835. It's like a Greek myth, except African.Copy !req
836. - African...
- African-American-Greek...Copy !req
837. - Myth.
- Yes.Copy !req
838. - Can I help you?
- Yeah, you can, miss.Copy !req
839. Get off your ass and tell me where my son is.Copy !req
840. - Who the hell do you think you are?
- Get the fuck out...Copy !req
841. Argh!Copy !req
842. - But the father is real.
- Nobody does this shit. I don't buy it.Copy !req
843. - It doesn't seem real.
- Here you are...Copy !req
844. you goddamn lying,
car-thieving, doodling time-waster!Copy !req
845. - What's so fucking funny, you little prick?
- You're funny.Copy !req
846. You think it's funny to brainwash my kid,
so he sits around with his fingers up his ass?Copy !req
847. I'll show you what's funny.Copy !req
848. - Mr. Davidson, run!
- Don't hurt me, big daddy. Don't hurt me(!)Copy !req
849. This is my son here. I'm the father here.Copy !req
850. I'll get you. Goddamn you, Gord.
You son of a bitch!Copy !req
851. You too, you little prick!Copy !req
852. Ow! That hurt. Hey. Ow.Copy !req
853. Great job. Nice show.Copy !req
854. Where d'you get this guy?
Central Casting? He is fucking great.Copy !req
855. It was hilarious, Gord. That's great shit.Copy !req
856. Mr. Davidson, I'm sorry.
That's my father. He's crazy.Copy !req
857. Gord, whatever. Do me a favor,
stop the act. Let me tell you something.Copy !req
858. I've been doing this job, OK, for six years.Copy !req
859. I have never seen a more
creative or exciting pitch than that.Copy !req
860. I wasn't even thinking about writing
a cheque today, but with such creativity...Copy !req
861. I'm comfortable
green-lighting this fucking project.Copy !req
862. I'm gonna write you a cheque right now for,
I don't know, how's $1 million sound to you?Copy !req
863. Oh... Uh...Copy !req
864. - Sound good?
- Sounds...Copy !req
865. Hi, my name is Harry.Copy !req
866. Do you hear the funny sound?Copy !req
867. It's my hooves. It's my hooves.Copy !req
868. In Africa, the humans hated us
because of our zebra lower bodies.Copy !req
869. And zebras hated us
because of our human upper bodies.Copy !req
870. So my family moved from Africa
to start over in America.Copy !req
871. But life in America wasn't perfect.Copy !req
872. Especially for zebras who are
used to living in fields, not houses.Copy !req
873. My hooves. My hooves.Copy !req
874. My dad was weird in Africa,
but America made him crazy.Copy !req
875. I'm not getting a stupid job, Dad.
I never had a part-time job in Africa.Copy !req
876. How dare you!Copy !req
877. How do you like that, fucker?
How do you like that, fucker? Huh, fucker?Copy !req
878. You fucker. You fucker.
Fucker! Huh, fucker? Fucker!Copy !req
879. Check us out.Copy !req
880. You'll love how simple misunderstandings
get us into a whole heap of trouble. It's crazy.Copy !req
881. Listen to my hooves.Copy !req
882. Listen to them. Cloppety-clop.Copy !req
883. Listen to them. Cloppety-clop.Copy !req
884. Zebras in America!Copy !req
885. Darren. Darr...Copy !req
886. Darren...Copy !req
887. - What do you want, Gord?
- Darren, you're not gonna believe this.Copy !req
888. I don't think we can be friends any more
cos you're crazy and your father's crazy too.Copy !req
889. - Wanna see what a million dollars looks like?
- Keep it down. I have to work he...Copy !req
890. - What is that?
- It's a cheque for a million dollars.Copy !req
891. I sold my cartoon. My dad said I couldn't
sell it, but guess what? I sold my cartoon.Copy !req
892. - For a million dollars!
- Sh. Sh...Copy !req
893. I got a million dollars for my little drawings.
For my little drawings.Copy !req
894. No, don't rub on Mr. Lee. No, no, no,
not my plant. Give me my plant, Gord.Copy !req
895. Gord, give...Copy !req
896. Don't you see? I don't
have to take his crap any more.Copy !req
897. You're right. You've done it.Copy !req
898. You don't have to live
in their basement any more.Copy !req
899. Look, just give me $100,000 in cash. Put
the rest of my cheque in a savings account.Copy !req
900. - What d'you want with 100 grand, Gord?
- Hm?Copy !req
901. Hm?Copy !req
902. - Hm?
- Don't...Copy !req
903. - I wonder.
- Don't do that.Copy !req
904. I wonder. I wonder.Copy !req
905. Betty! Betty, come to the window.Copy !req
906. Betty! Betty!Copy !req
907. Gord?Copy !req
908. - Gord, is that you?
- Look at me, Betty. I'm flying.Copy !req
909. - Gord, what do you want?
- Meet me on the roof.Copy !req
910. Meet me on the roof, Betty. Please!Copy !req
911. Gord, what are you doing?Copy !req
912. What?Copy !req
913. - Gord, I can't hear you!
- I saw you on TV!Copy !req
914. And you inspired me to keep trying,
so I did it and I sold my animations and...Copy !req
915. Remember that day I lied to you
and told you I was a stockbroker?Copy !req
916. Guess what? Now I really am rich, and... here.Copy !req
917. - I have a bag of jewels for you.
- Gord, what...?Copy !req
918. They're jewels, Betty. They're jewels.Copy !req
919. I got them all for you.Copy !req
920. But, Gord, I don't care about jewels.
I just wanna...Copy !req
921. I just wanna suck your cock.Copy !req
922. Do ya? Do ya really mean that, Betty?Copy !req
923. Yes, Gord.Copy !req
924. Even if you were poor,
I'd still just wanna stay home and...Copy !req
925. and suck your cock.Copy !req
926. - Oh, Betty!
- Oh, Gordie!Copy !req
927. Oh!Copy !req
928. - Are you crying, you silly?
- No.Copy !req
929. No!Copy !req
930. - Yes, you are.
- OK, maybe just a little.Copy !req
931. I gotta go! I gotta go!Copy !req
932. OK. Where are you going, Gord?Copy !req
933. I'm going to see my daddy.Copy !req
934. Good luck, Gord. Good luck.Copy !req
935. I'm going to see my daddy!Copy !req
936. Good luck, Gordie!Copy !req
937. My daddy! My daddy!Copy !req
938. Somebody in this room?Copy !req
939. I'll kick your ass.Copy !req
940. Fuck.Copy !req
941. Sweet dreams, Daddy.Copy !req
942. You see, Mr. Brody, this part here
is the trickiest part. It'll take 30 men.Copy !req
943. It would be a lot cheaper if you just
tear the whole thing down and build...Copy !req
944. Money's no object.Copy !req
945. Cos I had a million dollars, OK?
And then I spent $150,000 on the jewels, OK?Copy !req
946. Then I spent $100,000-
I rented a helicopter, OK?Copy !req
947. Then add the $750,000-
that's all my money.Copy !req
948. That's all my money gone.Copy !req
949. That's a million dollars gone.
Easy come, easy go.Copy !req
950. Yeah.Copy !req
951. Oh, yeah, Freida. That's the ticket.Copy !req
952. Where in fuck's the water?Copy !req
953. Surprise, Daddy! We're in Pakistan.Copy !req
954. I thought we could go sew
some soccer balls together.Copy !req
955. Pakistan?Copy !req
956. Pakistan? There's a fucking camel!Copy !req
957. We're going for a ride, Daddy.Copy !req
958. What is going on?Copy !req
959. What is going on?Copy !req
960. How the hell did you do this to me?Copy !req
961. - Uh-oh!
- Stop! Stop!Copy !req
962. Oh!Copy !req
963. Aaagh!Copy !req
964. Dad, I...Copy !req
965. There ain't gonna be no discussion
from now on. I'm gonna kick your ass!Copy !req
966. I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
967. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
968. You're fucking dead.Copy !req
969. Hold on. Hey!Copy !req
970. All gone. My wife is gone.
My life's ruined.Copy !req
971. You didn't know I could run this fast,
did ya, fartface?Copy !req
972. Hey! You better run, you little shit.Copy !req
973. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
974. Look at me, Daddy. Look at me.Copy !req
975. Look at me, Daddy. Look what I can do.Copy !req
976. What the fuck d'you think you're doing,
you sick son of a bitch?Copy !req
977. Dad?Copy !req
978. Gord, are you OK?Copy !req
979. I think so.Copy !req
980. Shit.Copy !req
981. I wanna ask you something.
How the fuck did you afford all this?Copy !req
982. Where'd you get the money?Copy !req
983. I got a job.Copy !req
984. I'm an animator.Copy !req
985. I'm a real animator.Copy !req
986. A job?Copy !req
987. - You mean your doodles?
- Yeah, Dad.Copy !req
988. I sold them.Copy !req
989. They gave me
a million dollars for my drawings.Copy !req
990. Good God Almighty, Gord. A million dollars.Copy !req
991. This doodling thing's for real.Copy !req
992. You must be a pretty
damn good doodler, aren't you?Copy !req
993. Look, I know we've had our differences.Copy !req
994. You and I never really see eye to eye,
but I learned something.Copy !req
995. - I can see that.
- No, not just how to whack off an elephant.Copy !req
996. I learned to believe in myself.Copy !req
997. I'm sorry if you're ashamed of me because I do
things differently, but I got that from you...Copy !req
998. cos you always do things your own way,
no matter what other people think.Copy !req
999. And maybe I needed to do the same.Copy !req
1000. I know I'll never be the man
you want me to be, but I'm your son.Copy !req
1001. And I want you to be proud.Copy !req
1002. Son, you did it.Copy !req
1003. I am proud of you.Copy !req
1004. Proud.Copy !req
1005. Buenos días.Copy !req
1006. Topping world news tonight,
the creator of a popular TV show...Copy !req
1007. has been captured by villagers in Pakistan.Copy !req
1008. The American State Department
has confirmed that Gordon Brody...Copy !req
1009. creator of the animated series
Zebras in America...Copy !req
1010. creator of the series,
Zebras in America...Copy !req
1011. were taken hostage
while vacationing in the Thar Desert.Copy !req
1012. while vacationing in the Thar Desert,
along the Pakistani-Indian border.Copy !req
1013. At this hour their conditions
are not known.Copy !req
1014. Agh!Copy !req
1015. The world got its first glimpse
of Gordon and Jim Brody.Copy !req
1016. Earlier today the Pentagon
released this video tape...Copy !req
1017. Are you still in love with your husband?Copy !req
1018. Shaq, honey. That's my son, my baby boy.
They're holding him hostage.Copy !req
1019. - I'm just being a concerned mom.
- Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
1020. I did all this for you. Nipples pierced.
Can he do it like this, huh?Copy !req
1021. Do it like that. Do all this. Do all that.Copy !req
1022. to bring the Brodys home alive.Copy !req
1023. A happy ending in the Brody hostage crisis.Copy !req
1024. After 18 months in captivity,
the father and son were freed yesterday.Copy !req
1025. Gordon and Jim Brody are expected
to return to their home in Portland today...Copy !req
1026. where the real healing will begin.Copy !req
1027. The mayor and the city have organized
a celebration for the Brodys'return.Copy !req
1028. Go on, Gord!Copy !req
1029. - Wait for me.
- Andy, no!Copy !req
1030. Andy! No!Copy !req
1031. Daddy, I'm OK. I'm OK.Copy !req
1032. I'm OK, Daddy.Copy !req
1033. You can't hurt me.
Not with my cheese helmet.Copy !req
1034. - These are stupid.
- Not stupid.Copy !req
1035. - Stupid.
- Not stupid.Copy !req
1036. Oh! Now I'm stinky.Copy !req
1037. Now I'm stinky.Copy !req
1038. Now... Now I'm stinky.Copy !req
1039. - It's a monster.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1040. You're a tasty monster.Copy !req
1041. Ah, ah, ah...Copy !req
1042. - Bling, bling, bling.
- Blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
1043. Get off. You're off.Copy !req
1044. What the fuck are we doing?Copy !req
1045. Ha ha.Copy !req
1046. Visiontext Subtitles: Natasha CohnCopy !req
1047. And cut.Copy !req