Four Good Days (2021)

1. I'm pouring a glass. Do you want some?

2. No, I'm good!

3. Who's there?

4. Hello?

5. Mom, it's me.

6. Mom!

7. Door one.

8. Uh, my key doesn't work.

9. No, we, uh...

10. We changed the locks last year

11. after you and Eric stole the guitars.

12. The deal was you wouldn't come back

13. until you were clean.

14. Wait, wait, wait.

15. That is why I'm here. I am...

16. I'm done.

17. I wanna come home.

18. Are you done? Are you out of drugs?

19. I ended it with Eric.

20. He's gone. I've been living on my own on the streets

21. for maybe like a week or maybe even more.

22. You know, I've been thinking about all the things

23. that you said to me since I was like a little girl

24. and I've had these, like, realizations like,

25. these big, big realizations that I wanna go back to school

26. and I wanna get a job

27. and I just wanna get my kids back...

28. Molly, stop. Just stop.

29. I've heard this speech for 10 years.

30. Mom, I need to be home.

31. You know, I do not do well when I'm left on my own

32. and I wanna detox

33. and I can do that here.

34. No. Come back when you're clean.

35. No, Mom, please.

36. I'll see you when you're clean.

37. Mom! Please! Mom!

38. It's me!

39. Come here, come here.

40. You're doing the right thing.

41. If you let her in, she's gonna blow up your life.

42. Oh, you know, don't talk about her like that.

43. She's not a bomb.

44. I'm just saying this is what you have to do.

45. She won't walk if you carry her.

46. Oh, fuck off.

47. Okay.

48. Don't make me call the police.

49. Oh, my God. Who are you?

50. Every time you come into this house, something disappears.

51. I'll stay at a hotel.

52. I just need some place safe that I can get clean.

53. Just money for a hotel then.

54. You want me to give you money?

55. Are you crazy?

56. Like the money you needed for shoes or for glasses?

57. Or for, uh, oh, online cosmetology classes?

58. Or Zumba lessons to get back in shape?

59. How much heroin have I paid for?

60. You're right.

61. I'll just detox under a highway

62. with prostitutes and rats,

63. 'cause that's a much better plan, Mom.

64. Why are you covering your mouth?

65. Let me see.

66. Show me.

67. Oh, my God.

68. Can I please just have a pillow and a blanket?

69. It gets really cold at night.

70. Get well, Molly.

71. I set the alarm.

72. Why did you say before that she blows up my life?

73. I mean what you really meant was our life?

74. - Yes. - So why didn't you just say that...

75. Do I need to?

76. I'm tired of what we've been through.

77. I'm scared for you whenever she's around.

78. Just don't let her suck you in.

79. She doesn't suck me in.

80. Whenever I've decided to reengage with her,

81. I've always done it with my eyes wide open.

82. Door one.

83. If you're hoping for pity, there's none coming.

84. - Go to a shelter. - I need to be home.

85. Go, please.

86. Oh, God damn it, you are stubborn.

87. You're like a mule.

88. If there's anyone or anything

89. more fucking relentless than heroin, it's you.

90. That's my one glimmer of hope in all this here.

91. If you're serious,

92. I'll drive you to detox right now.

93. Okay, but first can I stay here a couple of days.

94. - No. - Getting into detox is not that simple...

95. Molly, we can definitely try.

96. Beds open up every day.

97. - They do not open up everyday. - Either we leave right now,

98. or you can get used to sleeping on the porch.

99. Fuck! Were you always this heartless bitch? Huh?

100. I guess I must have forgotten.

101. Can I at least come inside and shower?

102. I haven't showered in weeks.

103. I'm... I'm on my period.

104. No. I'll go get my things.

105. Molly, wait here.

106. - I'll go with you. - Wait here.

107. Seat belt.

108. We'll pick up tampons on the way. Okay?

109. No. I don't need any.

110. You're not on...

111. Okay.

112. - Hello. - Hello.

113. - Name? - Molly...

114. Molly Wheeler Margaret.

115. Do you have your Medicaid card?

116. Yeah.

117. What drugs are you using?

118. Heroin, methadone and some crack.

119. Uh, if I get any, then maybe Adderall.

120. Last time you used?

121. Yesterday morning so I'm hurting.

122. How long have you been addicted?

123. - Hmm. - Ten years or more.

124. Have you ever been through detox?

125. - Uh-huh. - How many times?

126. Fourteen.

127. - Excuse me? - Fourteen times.

128. Okay, so you know the drill.

129. Medicaid pays for three nights.

130. - After that, you're on your own. - Mm-hmm.

131. You get a cot, two towels, three meals a day, if you can tolerate them.

132. Muscle spasms, cold sweats,

133. fever, vomiting, paranoia, insomnia. All that's normal.

134. But if you start to have trouble breathing, speak up.

135. The only open bed is in a shared woman's room.

136. Sign here.

137. Okay.

138. Let's go.

139. Okay. You've made your point. Can I please come home now?

140. No. I'll pick you up in three days.

141. Really? You're not gonna help?

142. You're gonna walk away?

143. It's your thing, huh?

144. Fucking walk away!

145. Come on.

146. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

147. You motherfucker.

148. She's in hell right now.

149. What?

150. She's in pain from head to toe

151. and I kicked her to the curb.

152. You should call your mothers' group.

153. Don't want their goddamn pity.

154. It helps, you know. It helps.

155. - You're all in the same boat. - Yeah.

156. Sinking 24/7.

157. Sometimes I get the feeling that...

158. I don't want to love her anymore.

159. Scares the shit out of me.

160. I'm gonna keep loving her, right?

161. Of course.

162. This is the mess you married into.

163. I'm okay with it.

164. Yeah, then you really are an idiot.

165. You always talk to me like that

166. whenever she's around. Have you noticed that?

167. Stop doing it.

168. Okay?

169. I'm sorry, honey.

170. Oh, that feels so good.

171. You're the best, Deb.

172. Oh, did I tell you we just got back from a trip to Napa?

173. Oh, really?

174. - How was it? - It was incredible.

175. Walter's client let us say in his house.

176. House was not really a word for it.

177. It's ridiculous.

178. I'm gonna level with you, Molly,

179. because you don't have time for more bull.

180. You have gone through this 15 times.

181. Statistically, you are likely to be back again.

182. Heroin has a 97 percent relapse rate.

183. You've already blown through the veins in your arms, your ankles,

184. hands, feet.

185. Yeah, you stayed away from your neck so far,

186. but most people go there sooner or later.

187. You have put yourself in quite a situation.

188. - No, actually, you all put her in this situation. - Oh, my God, Mom. Please.

189. Her problem started in a doctor's office just like this.

190. When she was 17,

191. she sprained her knee water skiing

192. and walked out with a prescription for 75 Oxy

193. and never a refill denied.

194. Now that's, that's terrible.

195. - I'm sorry. - You and me both.

196. What are your triggers?

197. Boredom, anxiety, shame, loneliness.

198. My life. Basically my life's a trigger.

199. You're not alone.

200. I'm 31 years old,

201. and I've done nothing but go down in life.

202. So I can sit around and feel all of that,

203. or I can do something about it and feel good

204. and numb.

205. She's always been really sensitive to things like that.

206. To feelings.

207. It's always what she said since she was a teenager.

208. How would you know? You weren't even there...

209. Molly, I'm here now.

210. Let's talk about our options. Hmm?

211. Do either of you know what an opioid antagonist is?

212. No.

213. It's a shot we give you once a month,

214. and it blocks opioids from getting into your system.

215. Heroin, Oxy, narco.

216. The shot essentially makes you immune to getting high.

217. Now it's not a magic bullet.

218. You still have to do the active work of recovery.

219. Twelve-steps therapy, all of it.

220. Is it safe?

221. Are you fucking kidding me?

222. You've spent 10 years

223. shooting up heroin laced with what,

224. rat poison and baby powder and God knows what else.

225. And now all of a sudden, your body's a temple.

226. Is it fucking safe? Oh, God.

227. Jesus, Molly.

228. Yes, it's safe.

229. FDA approved.

230. You have to be clean for at least a week.

231. Now if you still have drugs in your system

232. when you get this shot,

233. it puts you into something called rapid withdrawal.

234. That's very dangerous.

235. Emergency room stuff.

236. And then a shot once a month.

237. It's a chance.

238. Take it, Moll.

239. It's my call, Mom.

240. Fine. Yeah, okay.

241. I think that's a good choice.

242. You have been in detox four days already.

243. You should do four more to be safe.

244. So let's shoot for 9:00 a.m., Friday.

245. Wait. Four more days? Seriously?

246. She can't wait that long. She might be using in an hour.

247. - Thanks for the vote of confidence. - Can't she stay here?

248. - No. - No. Unfortunately, we need the bed.

249. You need to be somewhere not alone

250. and away from other users.

251. Four more days.

252. I can do that. All right?

253. - Yeah. - Yeah.

254. - Yeah, you can. - Yeah.

255. That guy should be shot.

256. - Okay. - Yeah. So sorry.

257. Your gums are very inflamed.

258. I'm gonna give you some ointment to take home.

259. - Non-narcotic, but use it sparingly anyway. - Hmm.

260. Now, these are temps.

261. Let's try them for size.

262. Uh, okay.

263. I'll give you call in a couple of weeks

264. when the real ones come in.

265. They hurt.

266. Yes, they'll take some getting used to.

267. Let me see.

268. Door one.

269. Get in here.

270. - You sure? - I don't wanna impose.

271. If now's a bad time,

272. - I can always come back later. - Oh, screw you.

273. Molly's amazing salon.

274. Remember the time I accidentally dyed your hair pink?

275. Accidentally? Sure.

276. Why do you keep all this crap? It's like a museum.

277. Oh, you know, a lot of good memories.

278. Yeah, from before I was a fuck up.

279. Remember what this is?

280. Smallest violin in the world.

281. Where the fuck are my perfumes? My... My jewelry.

282. You sold the perfume and you pawned all the jewelry

283. along with my wedding ring, my engagement ring,

284. your grandmother's.

285. Jesus.

286. Did you shoot up in here?

287. I don't know. I guess I must have after rehab.

288. Oh! That's reassuring.

289. Oh, what the fuck?

290. So, um, I'm supposed to work tonight.

291. The casino's booked solid,

292. but I'll have my phone on me,

293. and it'll only be a couple of hours.

294. Chris will be here.

295. He's out back.

296. But if you need anything, call me...

297. Did you tell him that I was staying here?

298. Of course, I did.

299. I called him.

300. He's...

301. He's fine with it.

302. I'm happy you're home.

303. I'm gonna go have a cigarette.

304. Jesus. What is that sound?

305. It's the alarm.

306. What? Can you turn it off?

307. I need it to beep every time the door opens.

308. Why? This is like the safest neighborhood in the world.

309. This puzzle been here this whole time?

310. Oh. Yeah. I didn't want to touch it.

311. I thought maybe you'd like to finish it someday.

312. No, I hate it.

313. This is a pay as you go.

314. So, uh, let me know if you run out of minutes.

315. Ran out of minutes? Who am I gonna call?

316. I entered my number.

317. Your sister's, the kids', the clinic and your dad's.

318. When was the last time I was here?

319. Um, well, I guess it was about a year and a half ago.

320. I woke up the next morning and you were gone.

321. Can you open the garage door?

322. Hi.

323. Is that her?

324. Close it.

325. Are you gonna be all right?

326. Okay, I'm leaving.

327. What?

328. Sorry.

329. Let me know if you need anything, huh?

330. Yeah. Thank you.

331. Okay.

332. Door one.

333. It's me.

334. I...

335. I'm freezing.

336. I thought withdrawals were supposed to be over.

337. No. Stay. Stay.

338. Oh, Molly.

339. I'm tired.

340. Did I really sell your wedding rings?

341. You know, just...

342. just don't worry about it.

343. - Oh. - This is a disease.

344. This isn't you.

345. - It's not. - No.

346. No, it's another you.

347. It's not the real you.

348. She isn't you.

349. Ah, mind bending, Mom.

350. Do you remember...

351. right after I left your dad,

352. I opened that...

353. that pottery painting store

354. way out of the mall.

355. Oh, God, that was such a bad idea.

356. It was a terrible location,

357. but I was so tired of...

358. trying to get out from under your dad,

359. finding something of my own.

360. You know that place was so quiet,

361. just like a mausoleum.

362. All those empty chairs.

363. And even after all, I put you through,

364. leaving you,

365. you started coming all the way out there after school,

366. dragging your friends with you.

367. You even hosted a birthday party there for God's sake.

368. And after a couple of months,

369. you had so many of those damn coffee mugs.

370. That was pretty great.

371. That was you.

372. Almost one day down,

373. three more to go.

374. Does Dad know that I'm home?

375. I'll tell him.

376. Good night, kiddo.

377. It's 10:00 am.

378. They're not here.

379. It's, uh, 10:03.

380. Oh, relax.

381. I bet they don't come. Why?

382. - Why would they come? - Oh, stop that.

383. Have you heard from your sister?

384. No. Why?

385. Well, she wants to see you.

386. Since when did she have the time to see anyone?

387. Where are your teeth?

388. Oh, okay.

389. They hurt.

390. Hi!

391. - Grandma! - Grandma!

392. - Hi, Grandma! - It's so good to see you.

393. - Oh, hi, sweetie. - I missed you.

394. Oh, how are you?

395. Ah, go hug your mom.

396. - Hi, kiddo. - Hi, Sean.

397. Hi, Deb.

398. Hey, we, uh...

399. we can't stay long, couple hours or so.

400. Okay, well, let's go inside.

401. Come on.

402. You want some coffee?

403. Yeah, sure.

404. You look good.

405. No, but thanks.

406. - All right. - Ah...

407. - Here, eat up. - One.

408. - Mmm. - One.

409. So how's work?

410. It's... it's real good.

411. There's so much of it.

412. Thinking about opening up a second body shop.

413. Uh-hmm. Wait, why are you doing that?

414. You love nuts.

415. I do. But the doctor says I can't have any.

416. Well, we found out last year that some nuts

417. make her tummy hurt.

418. Um, I broke my ankle, I was in a cast.

419. - Oh, wow. - It wasn't broken.

420. - Was too. - No.

421. - Shut up, moron. - Come on, guys.

422. We talked about this.

423. He got a hairline fracture flying off a swing set.

424. - Hmm. - Knucklehead.

425. They're good kids, though.

426. Yeah.

427. Yeah, I know. I know they're good kids.

428. How's Dad?

429. Go for it.

430. - He's grumpy. - What?

431. - You are. - But he's okay.

432. He helps us with homework and stuff.

433. - I am not grumpy. - He farts a lot.

434. Now that's a lie.

435. Chill, bruh. We like you.

436. I'm not your "bruh," bruh.

437. - You're a "duh." - Duh.

438. Oh, and he has a girlfriend.

439. She's a chef.

440. Her food is yummy.

441. Get him, get him.

442. Come on, get him!

443. Come on! Come on!

444. - Uh, boom! You got got. - Oh... no.

445. Kiddo.

446. - Mm. - Hold on, baby.

447. Can I play?

448. Sure.

449. Phew. Ready.

450. Come on.

451. Come on. No, no, no, don't press that.

452. No, no, no, no, no. That's cheating.

453. You can't do that. You can't do that.

454. You can't do that.

455. Come on.

456. Come on. Come on.

457. Oh, no, no, no.

458. - Oh, no! - Ha.

459. Mom, you suck. You totally suck.

460. You suck. You suck.

461. You suck. You suck!

462. You suck! You suck.

463. You suck! You suck!

464. You suck.

465. I...

466. - You suck. You suck. - Stop it. Stop it.

467. You suck. You suck. You suck.

468. Now who sucks, huh? Cheater?

469. You suck. Give me the remote.

470. - I won. No. - Give me this.

471. That's what you get for sucking.

472. - No. You stop it. Stop it. - No. No.

473. Mom! Mom, he's touching me.

474. It's so beautiful out here.

475. Right now.

476. Yeah.

477. Just wish life could be more like this.

478. One moment...

479. then another.

480. Isn't it?

481. I mean, what's the alternative?

482. Uh, I don't know.

483. I'm always thinking about the past,

484. or worrying about the future.

485. You know, even before I did drugs,

486. I remember worrying about what was next.

487. Like, I just couldn't live with the uncertainty.

488. I just want now to be now.

489. The way it is for kids,

490. or animals, plants.

491. Yeah, I never thought of that.

492. You've always been so smart, Moll.

493. Yeah. And look at where that's gotten me.

494. Hey, this is Dale.

495. Leave a message or don't.

496. Hey, it's me.

497. I think you should know that Molly is home.

498. She's clean.

499. As rickety as hell.

500. And I know you don't like talking about this stuff,

501. but it really seems different this time.

502. I haven't seen her like this since...

503. I don't know when.

504. She's really trying, Dale,

505. and she keeps asking about you.

506. So I was wondering if you could give her a call?

507. Um, you know, she's...

508. she needs support.

509. And I think it might really help.

510. All right, so don't be an asshole.

511. Just call.

512. Okay. Bye.

513. How do you guys still have so much energy?

514. - I don't know. - How's that possible.

515. We had PE today.

516. Well, you must love running.

517. So I know we talked about them

518. staying with you over the holiday weekend.

519. Or they can also stay with my sister,

520. depending on how things were going.

521. Oh, no, no, I'll be fine.

522. You know, I could totally...

523. Yeah, I'm okay.

524. - Let me know. - I'll call you next week.

525. - Bye. - Thanks for coming.

526. All right. Come on, guys. Let's go, Let's go.

527. Bye, kiddo.

528. - Bye, baby. - Bye.

529. When can we come back?

530. Soon.

531. - Can we sleep over? - Uh...

532. - Sure. - Yeah, that'd be fine.

533. - Please, Dad? - We'll see, buddy.

534. Ah, those kids are golden.

535. After all, they've been through.

536. They're wonderful.

537. Yeah.

538. How was it with Sean?

539. What, not good?

540. He hurt his back.

541. He wants me to get him pain killers.

542. Are you kidding me?

543. I should call the police on him right now.

544. You're not gonna do that because the kids will end up in foster care.

545. No, they won't. They could stay with me.

546. Maybe. But until the court rules on it,

547. they'll be in a foster home.

548. You know this, please just stop.

549. That sound is driving me crazy.

550. How am I supposed to get better

551. with that thing beeping every five minutes,

552. reminding me you suck, you suck, you suck.

553. Jesus, it's like I'm in prison.

554. I hate it as well, but it's just our reality.

555. You want something from the store?

556. Can you please just give me 20 bucks

557. and I'll go by myself?

558. I feel like a toddler.

559. Well, that's a pretty good idea,

560. but I think it might be easier

561. if I just ordered in some heroin.

562. Okay,

563. cigarettes, cupcakes.

564. Soda.

565. What?

566. You all right?

567. Yeah.

568. Your eyes look a little red.

569. I'm tired.

570. Jesus, what do you want me to say?

571. That I'm bored shitless and craving?

572. I'm bored shitless and craving.

573. Okay.

574. Just two more days.

575. You just have to hang in there,

576. two more days.

577. No. It's— It's more than that.

578. Sixty hours. Less.

579. - You can do it. - Yeah, but can you?

580. You're so wound up,

581. you're gonna drop dead of a heart attack.

582. All right, Moll, come with me.

583. Come on.

584. Pick any one, it's just food coloring and sugar.

585. Molly.

586. Coach Miller.

587. - Hi. - How are you?

588. I'm good.

589. Good.

590. - Hey, Deb. - Hey.

591. Long time, my goodness.

592. We've all been rooting for you over the years.

593. Thank you.

594. Well, you look good.

595. - You do. - Yeah.

596. Did you know that

597. I moved over to Lincoln last year.

598. They got me teaching health and wellness.

599. Did you ever take that class?

600. The car crash videos?

601. Exactly.

602. Except the videos just put them to sleep.

603. These kids think they're invincible.

604. - Hmm. - That doesn't change, right?

605. I'm in recovery.

606. - Good for you. - Hm.

607. I wish someone like you would come and talk to these kids.

608. I mean, someone who's gone through...

609. addiction troubles and come out the other side.

610. You should think about it.

611. It's just that, uh...

612. I'm not one for public speaking. So...

613. We've already had two kids overdose this year.

614. You said Lincoln in, um...

615. In southeast, is that right?

616. Yeah. Tough neighborhood.

617. You'll make a big impact.

618. I'll think about it.

619. Okay.

620. Good to see you.

621. Great to see you.

622. Who was that?

623. My dealer.

624. He said he'll be here in 15 minutes.

625. If I wasn't a junkie, would you even ask?

626. Probably not.

627. Has your dad called?

628. No.

629. Oh, don't go out there yet.

630. Come on, sit with me.

631. Oh, I forgot.

632. I have something for you.

633. What is it?

634. Open it.

635. Are you selling the house or buying me one?

636. Do you recognize her?

637. - No. - Take a closer look.

638. Mom, I don't know who this is.

639. It's Colson Kirsebom.

640. No.

641. Oh, my God.

642. I think it was pretty hard for his, her parents.

643. But you know what?

644. I think everything's okay now.

645. Holy shit.

646. The prom king is now a queen.

647. Why is that so funny?

648. I don't know, but we shouldn't laugh.

649. - Uh-huh. - Good for her.

650. That's one way to reboot your life, huh?

651. Yeah, right. Yeah.

652. Do you know I used to date him?

653. - You did? - Mm-hmm.

654. Freshman year.

655. Right around the time you left for, like, a couple of weeks.

656. Oh, okay.

657. I'm so sorry.

658. Wish I'd been around.

659. Yeah, you should have been.

660. Like, it was just so sudden.

661. You know, one day you were...

662. putting notes in my lunch box,

663. and then the next, you disappeared

664. on your little two-year hiatus.

665. I thought you couldn't stand to be around us, around me.

666. That wasn't it.

667. You know that's not true.

668. Do I?

669. Haven't we been over this a lot?

670. I got pregnant with your sister.

671. Unplanned.

672. And in a couple of months,

673. I found myself with a baby,

674. and I quit my job,

675. and I was married to a man

676. who I really didn't know very well,

677. and he was...

678. He was difficult.

679. Me too, maybe.

680. And when your sister was eight,

681. I got pregnant again and we were,

682. were really happy about that.

683. We were...

684. I think we were at a pretty good point.

685. Me and your dad, you know, for a moment.

686. Then for 15 years,

687. I held everything together...

688. trying not to disappoint,

689. swallowing your father's fucking bullshit.

690. His temper tantrums, his moods.

691. And then one night I came home

692. and I heard him started to rev up one of his fits.

693. Something about the house.

694. I don't know...

695. and I just...

696. That was it.

697. I left that night.

698. You were the head of the fucking PTA.

699. You were so put together.

700. I was pretending.

701. I just... I am so sorry

702. for causing you so much pain,

703. but I can't apologize for trying to survive.

704. I just can't.

705. That would be lying.

706. You think it's my fault

707. that you're an addict.

708. This is amazing.

709. Take some deep breaths.

710. So she's too busy to come?

711. Oh, I'm fine, Ashley.

712. How are you?

713. Sorry.

714. How are you, Mom?

715. Oh, same old.

716. - You? - I'm good.

717. Kids, work. I'm tired all the time.

718. But looking really good on Instagram.

719. My kids are a gift.

720. I'm thriving. I'm living my best life.

721. Ladies.

722. Uh, I'll just have coffee, thanks.

723. Uh, make that two,

724. - and have a side of fries. - Okay.

725. Fries for breakfast?

726. Why not? That'd make me feel good.

727. So where is she?

728. She wanted to come,

729. but she chickened out at the last minute.

730. No, she, um...

731. she tried to build up her self-esteem.

732. And I'm working against that?

733. No.

734. It's not about you.

735. No, it never is.

736. Anyway, I'm really glad that it's just us

737. because I need a break from all the craziness.

738. What craziness? I thought you said she's doing good.

739. Well, no, she is. She is. It's just, you know...

740. it's a little crazy at the house right now.

741. She sits around smoking, twitching,

742. and I am there watching her like a hawk

743. and pretending that I'm not.

744. You know Chris. He's addicted to the news.

745. He's on his iPad all the time.

746. He can't get enough of the world falling apart.

747. I really don't think they should allow men to retire.

748. So how, how is she?

749. Pale, thin.

750. Toothless.

751. But, you know, pretty damn good under the circumstances.

752. I was seeing glimpses of the old Moll.

753. Really?

754. That's good.

755. I don't know, Ash.

756. I think she might make it this time.

757. If she can only hang on for a couple more days.

758. Then she could get the shot,

759. and one month clean will turn into two months

760. and two months into six.

761. God willing.

762. Mom.

763. Since when do you believe in God?

764. Since not believing didn't work.

765. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up,

766. but...

767. at this point, all I have left is hope.

768. Here we go.

769. Thank you.

770. - Thank you. - You're welcome.

771. So I won my trial last week.

772. The class action suit.

773. - Oh, I am so sorry, Ash. I didn't even ask. - It's fine.

774. - Congratulations. - Thank you.

775. I am such a self-absorbed asshole.

776. You're Molly-absorbed asshole.

777. It's just that I don't have to worry about you.

778. No rush, whenever you're ready.

779. - Thank you. - Thank you.

780. Oh, my God.

781. I think I left my wallet at home.

782. - I think I can buy us a cup of coffee, Mom. - Fuck! You're right.

783. - I-I gotta go. - Mom, I'm sure it's fine.

784. It's probably under the pillow or something.

785. No. How could I possibly forget it?

786. No. Relax. You, you just said she was doing good.

787. Remember?

788. Please let it go. Please.

789. Okay.

790. So, um, how...

791. - How's your boyfriend? - Oh.

792. - Gone. Good riddance. - Oh.

793. He was so clingy.

794. But I have a new boyfriend.

795. I met him up Rachel Nixon's engagement party.

796. And he owns his own plumbing company.

797. He's funny, you know, which is always great, right?

798. And we're, without giving too much away, very in sync, intimately.

799. But there is one catch if it's going to last

800. because he says that we're...

801. Door One.

802. The blue Caribbean and the pearl green...

803. Any one of these would be totally captivating...

804. You okay?

805. Yeah.

806. You look like shit. You should really chill.

807. Yeah. Okay, so, um...

808. I guess some of you may have heard about the heroin epidemic.

809. So, I, uh...

810. I was a straight A student who never graduated high school.

811. I live at home with my mom,

812. but last week I was sleeping on the streets.

813. Don't have a job.

814. Or any job skills or a dollar to my name.

815. Some of my teeth aren't even mine.

816. See that, um, that lady in the back.

817. It's my mom.

818. She drove me here today

819. because I, uh... my license was suspended because of so many DUIs.

820. But even if I did have my license,

821. she wouldn't trust me with her car.

822. Because I have...

823. I have robbed her blind.

824. Money, jewelry, credit cards.

825. And I have...

826. degraded myself

827. for drugs, in ways...

828. In ways that you don't want to know.

829. The only thing...

830. The only thing I care about is getting high

831. because getting high makes me forget

832. about the mess that I have made of my life getting high.

833. Then just don't.

834. Excuse me?

835. Sorry. It's just...

836. I would never let myself fall that far.

837. Right. Right, of course.

838. Do you know how many times that I have told myself that?

839. That I'm not going to let myself steal to get high?

840. That I'm not gonna let myself lose custody of my children to get high?

841. That I'm not gonna let myself stab a needle into my arm?

842. I'm not going to let myself stab it into my chest.

843. I have woken up almost every morning

844. for the past couple of years and told myself

845. that this is it. That today...

846. Today I'm not going to get high.

847. And an hour, an hour later, I am meeting up with my dealer

848. to get high.

849. I fail every single day.

850. I'm so sorry, Mom.

851. Oh, my God.

852. I haven't seen you like that for so long.

853. Like what?

854. Confident, honest. Taking full responsibility.

855. Just... I don't know. Just being yourself.

856. You should have seen the way they were looking at you.

857. Just riveted.

858. Yeah, I feel good.

859. Strong.

860. If there's anyone who has the strength to break free of this shit,

861. it's you.

862. I really believe that.

863. I'm proud of you.

864. Can you make a right up here?

865. What for?

866. I want to show you something.

867. Pull over right here.

868. - Here? - Yeah.

869. You see that building over there?

870. Eric and I used to live there.

871. For how long?

872. Year, year and a half.

873. Were you terrified?

874. I was high.

875. Did you have running water at least?

876. Yeah, and room service. Come on.

877. You know, I've been wanting to ask you something,

878. but I do not want you to take it in the wrong way.

879. - Yeah. - I just... No judgment.

880. Okay. Just come out with it.

881. Did you ever...

882. prostitute yourself?

883. I never had sex for money,

884. but I have had sex for drugs.

885. - Well, that's not prostitution. - Well...

886. No, that's survival.

887. That's, uh, a sick person trying to survive.

888. Yeah, but if I had had sex for money to buy drugs,

889. would that make me a prostitute?

890. So what's the verdict, Mom?

891. Whore? Not whore?

892. Wait, wait, wait, sorry.

893. Since we're already here, I meant to ask you,

894. can we go and find a friend of mine?

895. Her name is Sammy, we used to live together sometimes.

896. - Who? - Sammy?

897. We used to look out for each other.

898. She texted me two days ago from someone else's phone,

899. and then she just vanished.

900. I think that she's in trouble.

901. Look, I want to go help her.

902. - No, I don't want to stay. - Come on, Mom, I would just like to help her.

903. We're already here— She's 15, Mom, she's 15.

904. This isn't one of your schemes.

905. You are so close to getting that shot.

906. Mom, look at me.

907. I'm doing good.

908. I just want to build momentum.

909. I want to start helping people, to just start making up

910. for all the shit that I have put everybody through.

911. That's all.

912. Please. I am begging you. Just give me 15 minutes.

913. Fine, five minutes. I know where she lives.

914. Mom, maybe if she sees me doing good, it will help her get help.

915. Please.

916. - Five minutes. - Okay, five minutes.

917. Let's go.

918. - Five minutes. - Okay?

919. She texted you. How did she even get your phone number?

920. - You're shopping? - Excuse me?

921. Are you buying? You looking for a fix?

922. Do I look like I'm shopping?

923. Oh, shit. Mrs. Wheeler.

924. It's me, Eric. Molly's old boyfriend.

925. - Jesus, Eric. - What are you doing here?

926. Molly's in there.

927. She's just looking for a friend.

928. She's clean, so stay away from her.

929. Oh, I don't think that she wants to see me.

930. I haven't seen her since she was pregnant.

931. She warned me at the clinic.

932. Oh, shit.

933. She didn't tell you.

934. Of course she did.

935. You wouldn't happen to have a couple of dollars that I could borrow.

936. Mrs. Wheeler, I'm hungry.

937. Molly, come on!

938. - Hey. - Get in the car.

939. They said that she's staying down the street.

940. I'm just gonna go and check real quick.

941. No way. Are you crazy?

942. Does Sammy even exist?

943. Fuck you!

944. Get in the goddamn car!

945. Just get in the car!

946. Molly! Please!

947. I'll leave you!

948. You think I fucking give a shit?

949. Watch me!

950. You fucking ungrateful bitch!

951. Moly, what the fuck are you—

952. Molly, I am so done with your fucking—

953. - What are you doing here? - This is Sammy.

954. I'm just trying to get her temperature down.

955. - What you got in your hand? - She's dope sick with drugs.

956. - Come with me right now. - Calm the fuck down.

957. - Stop it! - What the fuck!

958. - What are you doing here? - Who are you?

959. Do you think I'm scared of you?

960. No! No, no!

961. You fucked up! You got me fucked up now.

962. - Greg, that's my mom. Stop! - What? What?

963. You people are monsters, you hear me?

964. - You deserve to die. I'll kill you myself! - What is wrong with you?

965. You almost got both of us killed.

966. Jesus! You are unhinged! You are scaring me!

967. Now know what it's like.

968. I was just trying to help Sammy.

969. I saw Eric today.

970. Who?

971. Guitar Eric, your boyfriend.

972. - Where? - Outside that flop house.

973. He came over to the car trying to sell me some drugs.

974. Mom, I swear to God, I did not know that he was there.

975. If you think that I was trying to scheme you, I wasn't.

976. He...

977. He said something about you being pregnant.

978. I'm not judging you.

979. Eric said you... you didn't want him to be with you.

980. I'm just sorry that you had to go through that alone.

981. An abortion is hard enough as it is.

982. I didn't have an abortion, I carried it to term.

983. Spent seven months puking every morning

984. from morning sickness and withdrawals

985. and staying on couches.

986. That was hardest thing I've ever done.

987. Beautiful baby though.

988. A boy.

989. Where is he?

990. In New Jersey, with a family in their forties.

991. No kids, rich enough to have a boat.

992. That's what the agency told me.

993. When— When did this happen?

994. Why didn't you call me?

995. Because I didn't want another thing to feel shitty about.

996. What's his name?

997. I don't know.

998. Can I meet him? Do you get visits?

999. No. It's a closed adoption just like I wanted.

1000. Well, can I write them a letter?

1001. No!

1002. Molly, that's my grandson.

1003. Yeah, hello.

1004. Yeah, this is Molly.

1005. We already scheduled the shot with Dr. Ortiz for 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

1006. No, no, no, I can't wait.

1007. No!

1008. Can you, can you please just talk to Dr. Ortiz?

1009. Because he knows that this is urgent.

1010. Please.

1011. Oh, my God! Are you serious?

1012. Stop!

1013. Okay.

1014. Yeah, we'll see you on Monday.

1015. Okay. So what was that?

1016. Three more days.

1017. Three more days that they're waiting

1018. - for my insurance papers to go through. - That's bullshit.

1019. I don't think I can make it.

1020. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is for us

1021. to get through one goddamn day?

1022. Three days is a death sentence.

1023. - It's an eternity. - Jesus, you're not helping.

1024. Insurance companies. They run the fucking world.

1025. Why didn't I hear your phone ring?

1026. - What? - Your phone?

1027. Why didn't I hear it ring?

1028. Because it was on vibrate.

1029. Why is the office still open?

1030. It's after six o'clock.

1031. - I don't know. - I want to see your phone.

1032. - Give me your phone. - Are you fucking crazy?

1033. - Am I crazy? - Yes.

1034. How many fake phone calls have you made since you hurt your knee?

1035. Or did you ever even hurt your knee?

1036. - Must've been lies from the very beginning. - You serious?

1037. Are you doing this to me right now?

1038. - Oh, my God. - Just never ends.

1039. No! You're such a trigger!

1040. But it just goes on and on.

1041. I am so sorry

1042. that my drug addiction

1043. is so incredibly difficult on you.

1044. Look, I, I am not going to make it to Monday if I stay here.

1045. I'm gonna go to Sean's, I'm gonna go stay with Sean.

1046. He—he said that he can pick me up.

1047. It will be good. I can see the kids.

1048. - I could be with the kids— - What Sean?

1049. The same Sean who wanted you to score for him?

1050. Do you hear yourself?

1051. I mean, do you fucking hear yourself?

1052. Do you?

1053. If I say it's sunny outside, are you gonna go and check?

1054. I might have to.

1055. Well, then, maybe when I'm dead,

1056. you can tell yourself, "Hmm, she's just pretending."

1057. All right.

1058. Do what you're gonna do.

1059. So, uh...

1060. I'll see you Monday at 8:00.

1061. Yes.

1062. I love you.

1063. You all right?

1064. Yeah.

1065. You okay?

1066. Yeah.

1067. You can't go down the hole with her every time, Deb.

1068. You got to put yourself first.

1069. You know, sometimes it just...

1070. Sometimes, I feel that you're patronizing me.

1071. - Really? - Yeah.

1072. Just feeding me pat little phrases.

1073. - Does that make you happy? - Okay.

1074. Oh, don't fucking walk away.

1075. Well, say something.

1076. You're such a wimp.

1077. What?

1078. What, Chris? Say something.

1079. Saint fucking Chris.

1080. You wanna have a fight, is that it?

1081. You want— You want us to have a knockdown, drag out fight

1082. so you can blow off some fucking steam?

1083. I'm not your fucking punching bag, Deb!

1084. I'm not your fucking punching bag!

1085. Oh, God!

1086. - I'm sorry. - Stop.

1087. - I'm sorry. - Just stop apologizing, it's annoying.

1088. How did I get here?

1089. What did I do?

1090. Nothing.

1091. You...

1092. You...

1093. have done nothing.

1094. You know, maybe it's just the way her brain is wired.

1095. You know?

1096. Maybe she'd taken the pills the year before,

1097. or a year after, she wouldn't have gotten hooked.

1098. But she needed to be high because she was too sensitive, but not...

1099. sensitive enough or if you'd stayed in your bad marriage,

1100. she would have been an even bigger addict.

1101. Or if you bought her those blue shoes that time

1102. when she was three, instead of the red.

1103. It's none of that.

1104. Because maybe, the moment her father's sperm reached your egg,

1105. she was already an addict, waiting to happen.

1106. Okay.

1107. Thank you.

1108. never ends.

1109. I still get panic attacks when there's a siren.

1110. Even one on TV.

1111. Every time the phone rings, my heart stops.

1112. My old ring tone makes me pee, literally.

1113. I was at the pharmacy and the lady next to me,

1114. had it on her phone, I nearly wet myself when I heard it.

1115. This new shrink diagnosed me with chronic anxiety.

1116. He wants to give me something to help me sleep.

1117. I said I can't keep pills at the house.

1118. So I keep them at work.

1119. Take one pill home every evening.

1120. Let go and let God...

1121. This too shall pass.

1122. Time takes time.

1123. It helps me...

1124. to believe in these platitudes.

1125. I'd be even more resentful and angry

1126. if I didn't repeat this stuff to myself.

1127. I'd be furious...

1128. for all, all the dead dreams.

1129. At the tone, please record your message.

1130. Hey, I hope you're having fun with the kids.

1131. I'm just checking in with with you about tomorrow.

1132. Um, I'm really happy you're doing this.

1133. I know it's not been an easy week,

1134. and I can be a real hard-ass.

1135. It's just that...

1136. someday, I want things to be easier for you, you know?

1137. You deserve good things.

1138. All right. So, um, bye, call me back.

1139. I love you.

1140. Dale, pick up the fucking phone.

1141. - Hey, this is Dale. - Leave a message... or don't.

1142. Damn it!

1143. What the fuck?

1144. - Do you know what time it is? - Is he here?

1145. Dale.

1146. Fuck.

1147. Have you heard from Molly?

1148. No. Why?

1149. Why?

1150. Oh, Jesus Christ. Did you even bother to call her?

1151. Why the hell not?

1152. This is your daughter's life.

1153. Because I can't control it, Deb.

1154. Oh, come on, Dale.

1155. She's one day away from getting a shot that might actually save her life.

1156. And God knows where she is and you don't give a shit.

1157. I give a shit.

1158. I give a shit. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

1159. But it's not up to me to change any of that.

1160. And God knows I've fooled myself time and time again before.

1161. And so did you.

1162. - I'm done. - Oh, God. That's so convenient.

1163. I thought you said that you weren't gonna let her back in until she was clean.

1164. - She's been clean a week. - Oh.

1165. Oh, boy. Well, when it's real, you let me know.

1166. So you want us to do all the work?

1167. You're not doing the fucking work, Deb.

1168. She's doing it. If in fact, she's even doing it.

1169. So don't fucking flatter yourself here.

1170. By the way, you're not going to make me feel guilty about this either,

1171. so why don't you kiss my ass?

1172. You know what? We wouldn't even be standing here

1173. if you paid more attention to her when she got that injury.

1174. You wanna say this is my fault?

1175. Is that the game you want to play?

1176. Let's. You walked out on us because you wanted to find the new you.

1177. She wanted her mom back, she wanted her mom's attention,

1178. and that's exactly what she friggin' got, didn't she?

1179. Fuck, you, Dale!

1180. Save the speeches for her funeral.

1181. Oh, you're planning her funeral now, huh?

1182. You have a flair for drama there, don't you, Deb?

1183. Any news?

1184. Door...

1185. - Where the hell have you been? - Hey!

1186. What the fuck?

1187. I've been trying to call you.

1188. My phone died.

1189. Why aren't you ready?

1190. We have to be there in, like, 45 minutes.

1191. All right.

1192. Come on.

1193. Okay, I'm almost there.

1194. How are the kids?

1195. They're good.

1196. Yeah, they, um...

1197. They say hi.

1198. What?

1199. I need your pee.

1200. What?

1201. I said I need your pee, like, in a plastic container.

1202. I need your pee, now.

1203. Do I have to spell it out for you?

1204. I'm not clean.

1205. The other day when when we went looking for Sammy, I, um...

1206. I met up with a dealer.

1207. With what money?

1208. You fucking thief.

1209. And the appointment?

1210. I faked it.

1211. I'm sorry.

1212. And the weekend, visiting the kids?

1213. No, I saw them.

1214. I did. I even took them to the movies, but then, um...

1215. Then Sean and I got a sitter and we went out, uh...

1216. I got high.

1217. I'm sorry I suck.

1218. I'm a terrible person.

1219. I am a fucking moron.

1220. No, no, because I'm here now.

1221. Look, I could have stayed back at Sean's,

1222. or met back up with Eric or just disappeared.

1223. But... But I didn't...

1224. I don't want to do this anymore, okay?

1225. Please. I just want to get the shot.

1226. - Well, you can't, Molly. It's over. - Yes, I can.

1227. You have drugs in your system.

1228. Maybe you could wait for another week.

1229. I am not gonna make it another week,

1230. and you and I both know that.

1231. Mom, please.

1232. Please, just give me your pee.

1233. If you give me your pee, I can pass the drug test.

1234. I can get the shot.

1235. And that means that I can't get high for an entire month.

1236. No, you, you have drugs in your system.

1237. - No. - Mom, please.

1238. Please, I am begging you for help to get clean.

1239. Look, this could be it, okay?

1240. It's like what you said on the message last night

1241. about this being the start of something new.

1242. It is.

1243. I thought your phone was dead.

1244. Fuck.

1245. Thank you.

1246. Oh, my God.

1247. What if they check the temperature of the pee?

1248. - What? - The pee was barely lukewarm.

1249. What if they check...

1250. Why am I freaking out?

1251. Well, don't.

1252. Okay.

1253. Everything here looks good.

1254. Ready to go?

1255. Yeah.

1256. - Uh, I'll step out. - No.

1257. All right.

1258. All set.

1259. What?

1260. How are you feeling?

1261. Fine. Yeah.

1262. All right.

1263. You'll get a follow up call at the end of the day to see how you're doing.

1264. I'll see you in a month. Congratulations.

1265. Thank you.

1266. Oh, my God.

1267. I'm okay.

1268. I am. I, um...

1269. I feel good.

1270. - Yeah? - Yeah.

1271. Oh, my God.

1272. Yeah.

1273. Oh, my God. You look good.

1274. - Yeah. - I can't believe it.

1275. Thirty days without having to worry about this nightmare.

1276. Yeah.

1277. Can't believe I went through with it.

1278. Pretty damn brave.

1279. Oh, my God.

1280. I always knew your talent for lying would, you know, come in handy.

1281. We fucking pulled it off.

1282. You hungry?

1283. Wanna grab some breakfast?

1284. What?

1285. Oh, my God! Get in the car. Get in the car. Quick.

1286. - Oh, my God! - Here. Quick, quick. Get in. Get in.

1287. Can you close the door? Get in.

1288. - Let me just get... - Don't fucking touch me. Fuck!

1289. Oh, my God.

1290. Oh, just fucking drive.

1291. God. Just drive!

1292. I can't. I can't...

1293. Oh, my God. I can't. I can't...

1294. I know, I know, I know...

1295. Why did we do this?

1296. Oh, why the fuck did we do this?

1297. Can we have some help out here, please?

1298. Anyone? I need some help.

1299. Please, somebody help us.

1300. She's in acute withdrawal.

1301. - Heroin? - Yes, heroin.

1302. Just get us back there. I've never seen her like this.

1303. We can restrain her. We can give her fluids.

1304. But she's gonna have to go through it.

1305. She just had the Naltrexone shot.

1306. She's not supposed to get that if she has drugs in her system.

1307. No shit, Sherlock.

1308. Doctor, please, can you help? She's in acute withdrawal.

1309. Miss, can you sign this form?

1310. But, ma'am, she has to sign herself.

1311. - She can't sign it. - Fine!

1312. Okay, we'll call you.

1313. Seriously?

1314. It's okay. Okay. It's okay.

1315. Oh. Oh, Mom, please, make it stop.

1316. Can we have some fucking help here?

1317. - Make it stop. - I know, I know.

1318. - Here. - Thank you.

1319. I'm begging you.

1320. - No. - I'm so sorry, Mom.

1321. Please, I can't do this.

1322. Yes, you can.

1323. Are you enjoying this?

1324. I don't fucking believe you people.

1325. She's been convulsing and puking for, I don't know how long.

1326. What does it take to get seen?

1327. It is called a waiting room for a reason.

1328. - Sometimes you wait. - There's no one else here.

1329. We take people based on the complaint

1330. and some thing's demand more immediate attention.

1331. Thank you for your compassion.

1332. Do you want to know why she's an addict?

1333. It's because of you people.

1334. So don't you sit there

1335. - and fucking tell me... - Hey, whoa! Whoa!

1336. Is everything okay?

1337. - Doctor, please. - Molly Wheeler.

1338. Oh... Okay, sweetie.

1339. - The doctor's here. - I got it.

1340. - He's gonna take good care of you, all right? - Thank you.

1341. We're gonna take real good care of you.

1342. Ma.

1343. - Ma. - I'm here. I'm here, sweetie.

1344. Mom, don't leave.

1345. How are the kids?

1346. They're good.

1347. You know, Cory's still got that cold.

1348. Chloe never got it.

1349. I don't get it. That kid lives off of junk food.

1350. And never gets sick.

1351. Kids are indestructible.

1352. Hey, so, um...

1353. Sean wants me to come back again on Friday and watch the kids.

1354. I think it's good, you know, him trusting me more.

1355. Say, isn't Friday when you need to get your shot?

1356. Yes, but it's no big deal.

1357. They said they can see me first thing next week.

1358. - Are you sure? - Mm-hm.

1359. - You called them? - Yes.

1360. Yeah. Monday, three o'clock.

1361. What?

1362. Nothing.

1363. Not a thing.

1364. You look wonderful.