1. Mr. Big StuffCopy !req
2. Who do you think you are?Copy !req
3. Mr. Big StuffCopy !req
4. You're never gonna get my loveCopy !req
5. Now because you wear
All those fancy clothesCopy !req
6. And drive a big fine carCopy !req
7. Oh yes, you do nowCopy !req
8. Do you think I can afford
To give you my loveCopy !req
9. Aw, what a cute little mutt.Copy !req
10. Hey there, little guy.Copy !req
11. Aw.Copy !req
12. Dad, what's in the box?Copy !req
13. Family, I'd like to introduce you to...Copy !req
14. Bull.Copy !req
15. - Aw!
- What a sweet boy!Copy !req
16. - He's so cute.
- Such a sweet little guy.Copy !req
17. This is your home now.
Look, Nana. My new little brother.Copy !req
18. Oh my goodness, what a little pudge cake.Copy !req
19. I think he likes you, Nana.Copy !req
20. Oh yeah.Copy !req
21. Oh yeah. So good.Copy !req
22. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
23. You've always been amazing.Copy !req
24. Oh, you are my one and only.Copy !req
25. Well, there's lots of others,
but you are my favorite.Copy !req
26. Really.Copy !req
27. Oh, oh.Copy !req
28. Oh, Nana!Copy !req
29. Oh, you feel so good.Copy !req
30. Right?Copy !req
31. Who doesn't love their nana?Copy !req
32. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
33. Are you into it?Copy !req
34. Both of us gotta be into it.Copy !req
35. Two-way enjoying.Copy !req
36. Gotta be feeling that, right?Copy !req
37. Who's your good boy? Who's your good boy?Copy !req
38. Here we go!Copy !req
39. Buckle up!Copy !req
40. What's happened?
Where... where are my glasses?Copy !req
41. My lipstick? What's that doing there?Copy !req
42. Yeah, that's my dick.Copy !req
43. Mom? Are you okay?Copy !req
44. What the fuck?Copy !req
45. How many times have I told you
to stop humping Nana?Copy !req
46. Having trouble running.
Still gotta finish here.Copy !req
47. My dick is on fire!Copy !req
48. Oh yeah. Sweet, minty relief.Copy !req
49. Leave it. Goddamn it, Bull.Copy !req
50. Oh, Bull!Copy !req
51. Bull, you little shit!Copy !req
52. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Bull!Copy !req
53. Hey, Bull.Copy !req
54. Oh, hey, Honey.Copy !req
55. What's up, girl? How's it going?Copy !req
56. Oh, you know, everything's good.
How's Nana?Copy !req
57. Nana? Why— What— Why— Why would you ask
about Nana all of a sudden?Copy !req
58. It's weird. It's like,
who cares about Nana?Copy !req
59. You know what I mean?Copy !req
60. I don't know. I'm smelling a musty odor
and a certain potpourri and menthol scent,Copy !req
61. and, um, I'm not gonna lie to you,
your pinky dinky is out.Copy !req
62. Oh, that? No, that's just morning wood.Copy !req
63. Not a big deal.Copy !req
64. - At 2:30?
- Well, after-lunch wood?Copy !req
65. What? Do you girls not get that?Copy !req
66. Let me just take care of it.Copy !req
67. Enough is enough. This has to stop!Copy !req
68. So, yeah, you were saying—Copy !req
69. Oh, Bull, Bull, Bull.Copy !req
70. You've been tapping Nana
since we were pups.Copy !req
71. She's nothing but trouble.
When are you gonna learn?Copy !req
72. I know. I'm sick.Copy !req
73. But she just smells so old.Copy !req
74. It's enchanting.Copy !req
75. You need to stop. Just cut it off.Copy !req
76. Go cold turkey.Copy !req
77. Trust me, I've tried.
Thanksgiving dinner was never the same.Copy !req
78. What, they didn't like their turkey
tenderized and creamy?Copy !req
79. Girl, you are disgusting.Copy !req
80. I'm not the one fucking dead turkeys.Copy !req
81. Oh yeah. Good one. Got me.Copy !req
82. Yeah, like I fuck dead turkeys.
Get out of here with that.Copy !req
83. Mm-hmm. Sure, I think a Cornish hen
is more your size anyway.Copy !req
84. It's tighter where it counts.Copy !req
85. So, what're you up to?Copy !req
86. Well, I got the dog show
coming up this week,Copy !req
87. so, just practicing my smooth gait.Copy !req
88. Left, right, rear-left, rear-right,
left, right, rear-left...Copy !req
89. Wow. It's like you're walking
and skipping all at the same time.Copy !req
90. I don't get the whole dog show scene.Copy !req
91. Everyone's trying to be
the best version of the same thing?Copy !req
92. But what if you're different? Is that bad?Copy !req
93. And then after all the judging,
they grope you?Copy !req
94. They aren't groping me.Copy !req
95. They are gently touching my body
and judging me based on how it feels.Copy !req
96. Who are these people?Copy !req
97. You know, dog lovers.Copy !req
98. They document our lineage,
keep tabs on what the standard should be,Copy !req
99. and breed us properly
for the ultimate perfect specimen.Copy !req
100. We're like the royal family
of our species.Copy !req
101. Oh, my queen.Copy !req
102. I have located the perfect specimen
for you to breed with.Copy !req
103. Oh, have you?Copy !req
104. Well, I do say then,
who is this chosen one?Copy !req
105. I am Lord Duke,
the Earl of Awesomeness, Sir Studley,Copy !req
106. and it is a pleasure
to make your acquaintance.Copy !req
107. You are quite below my usual standards.Copy !req
108. But I am feeling generous,Copy !req
109. so you may partake in the royal penis.Copy !req
110. Oh my! Sir Studley, I would be honored.Copy !req
111. Shall we proceed?Copy !req
112. Absolutely, yeah.
Proceeding's what I— What I did—Copy !req
113. I wanna do. Let's proceed with it.Copy !req
114. I just thought we would probably proceed
with the next partCopy !req
115. after we kept going back and forth.Copy !req
116. Oh! You thinking about Nana,
or should I be flattered?Copy !req
117. - Bull, walk!
- Gotta go. That's my walk.Copy !req
118. All right,
Sir Studley, I'll be along shortly.Copy !req
119. We shall continue at the park.Copy !req
120. Shit, that got hot out of nowhere.Copy !req
121. Gotta be ready
next time I bust out the old accent.Copy !req
122. Adorable.Copy !req
123. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
124. There's my little monster.
You ready to go for a walk, big guy?Copy !req
125. Okay, okay, I know.Copy !req
126. Very exciting. Let me get this on you.Copy !req
127. - Hey, hey!
- Hey, what?Copy !req
128. - Come on!
- Come on!Copy !req
129. There's my horny little maniac.Copy !req
130. Who loves you, huh? Who loves you?Copy !req
131. Come on, boy. You ready to go?Copy !req
132. Holy crap! I gotta shit!Copy !req
133. I gotta pee now! I gotta pee!Copy !req
134. Thank God! I've been holding this all day!Copy !req
135. I need to go!Copy !req
136. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!Copy !req
137. Fucking hell! Get me to the grass!Copy !req
138. Oh! This shit is coming!Copy !req
139. Pee, pee, pee, pee!Copy !req
140. Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo.Copy !req
141. Gotta go, gotta go!Copy !req
142. Oh yeah.Copy !req
143. Fuck off.Copy !req
144. Oh!Copy !req
145. What smells like nylon and varicose veins?Copy !req
146. Oh, it's Bull's dick.Copy !req
147. Oh, look, it's Rocco,
the ball-less wonder.Copy !req
148. I don't get your thing with Nana.Copy !req
149. Why don't you just lick yourself
like every other dog?Copy !req
150. Ah, I tried.Copy !req
151. I just don't like the way I taste.Copy !req
152. See, I like my taste quite a lot.
It's like summertime in the country.Copy !req
153. Blackberries with cinnamon
and a touch of mint.Copy !req
154. So, anyways, Rocco,
you should have seen it.Copy !req
155. Honey was all over me.Copy !req
156. She wanted to breed with me
and everything.Copy !req
157. Right. 'Cause last week,
you said she licked your face.Copy !req
158. She totally did.Copy !req
159. Because you smeared your fucking face
in peanut butter.Copy !req
160. Was there peanut butter? I don't—
There could have been.Copy !req
161. Listen, mate,
just simply tell her you love her.Copy !req
162. Love?Copy !req
163. What are you talking about?Copy !req
164. Yeah, me and my boys aren't really
into those purebred showgirls.Copy !req
165. 'Course. Yeah, no,
Honey is definitely not right for you.Copy !req
166. You've known her your whole life.
She is your absolute fucking best friend.Copy !req
167. Who would want that?Copy !req
168. Oh, hey, Bull.Copy !req
169. Ooh, you fucked Nana again, huh?Copy !req
170. What are you wearing?Copy !req
171. It's Business Mondays.Copy !req
172. It's demeaning, is what it is.Copy !req
173. Yeah, well,
my 900 followers don't think so.Copy !req
174. Mother says they love it.Copy !req
175. It's so weird
that you call your human "Mother."Copy !req
176. Fetch, no one's following you.Copy !req
177. Yes, they are, on Mother's phone.Copy !req
178. They comment on my pictures
like a little face with heart eyes.Copy !req
179. And "I'm screaming!"
And, "Oh my God, literally dead."Copy !req
180. And Mother even got me a sponsorship,Copy !req
181. so now I get free dental treats.Copy !req
182. What the fuck are you talking about?Copy !req
183. Fetch, you're a valued member of the pack,Copy !req
184. but you cannot hang out with us
if you're gonna pretend to be human.Copy !req
185. It is disgusting.Copy !req
186. Ah. Whatever, you guys are just jealous.Copy !req
187. Uh... Hi, Lucky.Copy !req
188. Hey, guys. What's up?Copy !req
189. Oh God. What are you eating?Copy !req
190. Oh, this? It's a flaxseed protein bar.Copy !req
191. It's a little pre-playtime pick-me-up.Copy !req
192. Lucky, you're eating cat shit.Copy !req
193. - What?
- No way.Copy !req
194. Oh, mm. Yeah, no,
I think you might be right.Copy !req
195. You're still eating it.Copy !req
196. Oh God, yeah.Copy !req
197. Well, that's disgusting.Copy !req
198. Seems like you enjoyed it.Copy !req
199. Nope.Copy !req
200. Disgusting.Copy !req
201. Oh wow!Copy !req
202. What a good little baby.
My poopsie made a poo-poo.Copy !req
203. I love watching my human pick up my shit,
especially if it's a runny one.Copy !req
204. You know what I love?Copy !req
205. Taking a second shit
when Mother only brought one bag.Copy !req
206. Why do humans need to pick it up at all?Copy !req
207. It's supposed to stay on the grass.Copy !req
208. That way, it melts into the soil,Copy !req
209. which helps grow the new grass,Copy !req
210. which we then shit on again.Copy !req
211. It's the circle of shit.Copy !req
212. That's pure poetry.Copy !req
213. Where do you come up with this stuff?Copy !req
214. It's the boys in the back.Copy !req
215. They inspire me.Copy !req
216. They're like my hairy, dangling muses.Copy !req
217. All right, all right, all right,
break it up already.Copy !req
218. I'm here every day.
It's the same ass as yesterday.Copy !req
219. Get off me, you fat ass!Copy !req
220. I'm not fat. I'm husky.Copy !req
221. - Stop drooling on me!
- I'm a mastiff.Copy !req
222. I can't help it.Copy !req
223. Fuck you, mastiff.Copy !req
224. This is a goddamn shit show.Copy !req
225. Excuse me. It's pronounced "shih tzu."Copy !req
226. Why is chasing this stupid ball
so fucking addictive?Copy !req
227. It's like— I don't get it. It's like,
you got the ball. Now you drop it.Copy !req
228. Now you're wound up again.
You just had it.Copy !req
229. 'Cause you never know
when it's gonna move.Copy !req
230. What happened to Luther?Copy !req
231. Oh, fuck.
I recognize that expression anywhere.Copy !req
232. Don't say anything.Copy !req
233. Hey, guys, what's up?Copy !req
234. Chasing anything around out there today?Copy !req
235. Uh... Yeah, no, we're good. How are you?Copy !req
236. I'm good, I'm good.
Good, good, good. Yeah, I'm good.Copy !req
237. Good, good.Copy !req
238. I, uh... I, um... I...Copy !req
239. I—I thought they loved me.Copy !req
240. Luther, pull yourself together, man.Copy !req
241. You'll be all right.Copy !req
242. Hey, what are you doing back there?Copy !req
243. - Oh!
- Oh, fucking hell.Copy !req
244. The window of nothingness.Copy !req
245. Who would do this to you?Copy !req
246. My... people.Copy !req
247. At... at least,
I thought they were my people.Copy !req
248. I came home after the park,
and... and... and there was a party.Copy !req
249. And... and... and I thought,Copy !req
250. "Hey, I... I'm a good dog.
I deserve a party."Copy !req
251. - Sure, you do.
- It was crazy and decadent.Copy !req
252. No rules.Copy !req
253. As much as you wanted, right?Copy !req
254. They let you drink from the toilet.Copy !req
255. They filled it with Kool-Aid.Copy !req
256. Best goddamn fucking Kool-Aid I ever had.Copy !req
257. Well, hey, Luther,
your schlong looks twice as big.Copy !req
258. So, that's cool.Copy !req
259. It'll be all right.Copy !req
260. No, it's not going to be all right!Copy !req
261. Nothing will ever be the same again!Copy !req
262. Easy there, mate, easy.Copy !req
263. Look, I know the pain, all right?
Just remember, you're not alone.Copy !req
264. I... I mean, you are in a sense
'cause your ball buddies are gone.Copy !req
265. But you've got to rely on yourself now.Copy !req
266. All right?Copy !req
267. Hello, Luther.Copy !req
268. I just saw your balls on a milk carton,
because they've gone missing.Copy !req
269. Sterling.Copy !req
270. Man, I hate that asshole.Copy !req
271. Sterling, I thought you were my friend.Copy !req
272. That was yesterday.Copy !req
273. Today, you're a mutilated freak.Copy !req
274. I'm a show dog.Copy !req
275. These are your friends now.Copy !req
276. You can all get together
and lick each other's nothingness.Copy !req
277. Hey, I still have mine.Copy !req
278. What?Copy !req
279. Oh...Copy !req
280. Oh God. It itches.Copy !req
281. Can somebody
corn on the cob me real quick?Copy !req
282. Just like a horizontal chew jag?Copy !req
283. Someone please put this loser
out of his misery.Copy !req
284. Pathetic.Copy !req
285. Now, listen, you feather-puss fuck!
You aren't any better than us.Copy !req
286. No, actually, I am better than you.Copy !req
287. I've been refined over generations
to genetic perfection,Copy !req
288. while your mom
shit you out into a trash can somewhere.Copy !req
289. Don't you talk about my mum! Understand?Copy !req
290. She had 15 pups,
and she did her best that she could.Copy !req
291. So... so... so some of us didn't get a nipple.
It doesn't mean she didn't love me.Copy !req
292. Hey, Rocco, easy.Copy !req
293. Let Team Bull handle this.
This guy isn't worth it, all right?Copy !req
294. Oh! All hail the king
of the ball-less and maimed.Copy !req
295. What is that, by the way? Eucalyptus?Copy !req
296. You get a fancy little bath this morning?Copy !req
297. All scrubbed up and pampered
like a little goldendoodle?Copy !req
298. - You know what I smell like?
- Yeah, piss and shit.Copy !req
299. Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
300. And meat and grass.Copy !req
301. Toilet water.Copy !req
302. And maybe
a hint of unexpressed anal glands.Copy !req
303. I smell like a real dog.Copy !req
304. You see these, chief?Copy !req
305. I was born balls-first, guy. Literally.Copy !req
306. You know my mom pushed
like an hour just for the nuts.Copy !req
307. We were born like a set of triplets,Copy !req
308. coming out one after the other
after the other,Copy !req
309. each one more gorgeous than the last.Copy !req
310. The vet was like,
"Jesus, look at that nut."Copy !req
311. "Oh my God, look at the second nut!
It's gorgeous!"Copy !req
312. And then, "Wow. Look at the guy
those nuts are attached to."Copy !req
313. I can see the resemblance.
You look exactly like a ball sack.Copy !req
314. I figured this moron wouldn't understand.Copy !req
315. I mean,
he's been inbred for generations, right?Copy !req
316. Do you ever thinkCopy !req
317. about just how many cousins and siblings
had to fuck each otherCopy !req
318. to produce a douchebag like you?Copy !req
319. - Human-style, baby.
- Yeah.Copy !req
320. The people are watching us.Copy !req
321. Quick, put your tail in my ass.Copy !req
322. Why are they watching this?Copy !req
323. Humans are just as obsessed with sex
as we are.Copy !req
324. - Oh, hi.
- Hey, Honey.Copy !req
325. When my humans do it, I climb on the bed
and stare them right in the eye.Copy !req
326. Totally ruins it for them. It's hilarious.Copy !req
327. Oh, Luther, sorry for your loss.Copy !req
328. Hey, Honey. Or should I say...
"Greetings, my queen"?Copy !req
329. Oh! Hello, my darling.Copy !req
330. Hey, Sterling.Copy !req
331. Your loins are really filling out.Copy !req
332. Mm. Very nice. I like.Copy !req
333. Excuse me? We were talking.Copy !req
334. And look at the depth of your chest.Copy !req
335. Oh, my. You're floor-ready for sure.Copy !req
336. Thanks.Copy !req
337. - Wow, you really think so?
- Yes.Copy !req
338. I know I'm obviously gonna take
Best of Breed,Copy !req
339. but you actually have a chance
to take Winner's Bitch.Copy !req
340. - Listen, asshole, you can't call her—
- No, that's actually good.Copy !req
341. It is?Copy !req
342. Yeah, it would be amazing, actually.Copy !req
343. It could be better than amazing,
'cause then we could do a little of that.Copy !req
344. Kiki...Copy !req
345. I don't know.Copy !req
346. That's not really my style.Copy !req
347. I'm more of a traditionalist.Copy !req
348. Oh, yeah, yep.Copy !req
349. Yeah, I'm into the traditionalist way
of doing that. That's so cool.Copy !req
350. I just wanna back it up
and take my time with it.Copy !req
351. Oh yeah, no, I think I—
I think I understand, uh, conceptually.Copy !req
352. And then clamp on for the ride.Copy !req
353. Shit. Can you imagine?Copy !req
354. He would not know what to do.Copy !req
355. Like a lost little puppy.Copy !req
356. A little different
than busting on couch cushions, huh?Copy !req
357. Or you're probably the granny
or the nana type, yes?Copy !req
358. Yes! Oh yes, look at that look.Copy !req
359. You are, aren't you? What a little perv.Copy !req
360. Who doesn't wanna do their nana?Copy !req
361. I mean, when ours comes to visit,
I climb that mountain and grind it hard.Copy !req
362. Every time.Copy !req
363. Ooh, I just concentrate
on her bony knees and...Copy !req
364. get all deep on that shit.Copy !req
365. Right, Bull?Copy !req
366. Oh yeah. No, totally. Fucking...Copy !req
367. Fucking grandmas. It's so cool.Copy !req
368. Come on, everyone, time to go!Copy !req
369. - All right!
- Let's go!Copy !req
370. Mm. I love me some after-park stink!Copy !req
371. I can't believe you shit on Ralph.Copy !req
372. I told you. I didn't see him.Copy !req
373. You know, mate,
it's not the balls that make the dog.Copy !req
374. Sure, we can't make pups,Copy !req
375. but other than that,
it don't make no difference.Copy !req
376. Oh yeah, Roc, I know.Copy !req
377. If anything,
it's just like extra baggage in the back.Copy !req
378. It's a drag, honestly.Copy !req
379. Why do you like that pathetic mutt?Copy !req
380. Who, Bull?
Oh, you know, he's my next-door neighbor.Copy !req
381. We've, like, known each other
since we were on the teat.Copy !req
382. I mean, "like"? How can you like Bull?Copy !req
383. Why would you—
Why would anyone like Bull?Copy !req
384. He's weird. He's awkward.Copy !req
385. He's, like, sweet and funny.Copy !req
386. He's pudgy, but he's not like...
I wouldn't say he's "fat" pudgy,Copy !req
387. - Okay, I really don't care, goodbye.
- There's a lot to chew on.Copy !req
388. Not that I want to chew on Bull,
I'm not saying that,Copy !req
389. but he looks like
a grocery bag filled with potatoes.Copy !req
390. I mean, is that cute? Or, you know, sexy?Copy !req
391. No, I'm not saying that, but I guess
if you like potatoes, it could be.Copy !req
392. But, you know, I like potatoes,
but they're not for everybody.Copy !req
393. And, I mean, I'm just a show dog,
and he's a regular dog.Copy !req
394. Why would he ever like someone like me?Copy !req
395. Sterling, you cock-faced asshole.Copy !req
396. Who's a good boy?Copy !req
397. Who's my baby?Copy !req
398. Scratchies and rubbies for the big fella!Copy !req
399. - Here's your bone!
- And Mr. Squeaks!Copy !req
400. We're having fun now!Copy !req
401. But this is the no-no couch.Copy !req
402. - Who's hungry for some meat?
- Oh!Copy !req
403. Who wants the ball? Go get it, boy.Copy !req
404. Fetch in the house!Copy !req
405. - Oh no.
- Who made a big mess?Copy !req
406. Who wants some yummies?Copy !req
407. - Here, fuck my slippers.
- Dig through the trash.Copy !req
408. Who's thirsty?Copy !req
409. Come on, boy.Copy !req
410. Delightful day.Copy !req
411. Get in there, boy.Copy !req
412. What? The shiny white throne?Copy !req
413. Where's my water bowl?Copy !req
414. Here we go.
Special treat for the special boy.Copy !req
415. What the...Copy !req
416. They filled it with Kool-Aid.Copy !req
417. They let you do whatever you want.Copy !req
418. It happened like that to all of us.Copy !req
419. - Holy...
- It's all right.Copy !req
420. Come on. Just get in there.Copy !req
421. No! No. No.Copy !req
422. Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's so good.Copy !req
423. But no.Copy !req
424. Oh! Look at that. What a happy boy.Copy !req
425. Dad, is he gonna be okay?Copy !req
426. He's gonna be better than ever.Copy !req
427. Fuck me.Copy !req
428. Why?Copy !req
429. Why?Copy !req
430. Well, there goes another pair.Copy !req
431. Why? Why? Why?Copy !req
432. Why us?
Wh... what did we do? What did we do?Copy !req
433. Sure, fucking Nana, in hindsight,
wasn't a great idea,Copy !req
434. but the punishment does not fit the crime!Copy !req
435. Oh, for fuck's sake, Bull. Take it easy.
It was bound to happen eventually.Copy !req
436. We survived it.Copy !req
437. You don't get it. These are my balls!Copy !req
438. Without them,
I'll be like some lifeless zombie.Copy !req
439. "Pet me, feed me, walk me."Copy !req
440. Oh, we're zombies now?Copy !req
441. You're talking crazy, Bull.Copy !req
442. And it's really hurtful.Copy !req
443. Hurtful?Copy !req
444. How do you think I'm gonna feel
when they rip my nuts out?Copy !req
445. You think that'll be a little painful?Copy !req
446. They might as well
rip out my heart, my soul!Copy !req
447. It's all the same.Copy !req
448. I'm scared.Copy !req
449. You should be scared.
We all should be scared.Copy !req
450. There's nothing after this.Copy !req
451. The sun won't shine as bright.Copy !req
452. Bacon will be less bacon-y.Copy !req
453. The scent of life will be dulled forever.Copy !req
454. And Honey... Oh, my sweet, sweet Honey.Copy !req
455. No way she's gonna want a fat,
ball-less, no-pup-making freak!Copy !req
456. Don't you think Honey might like you
because of who you are insideCopy !req
457. and not because you have balls?Copy !req
458. Now who's talking crazy?Copy !req
459. You know nothing about this, Fetch.Copy !req
460. I've had enough.Copy !req
461. I know you're scared, Bull,
but you're kinda being an asshole.Copy !req
462. What?Copy !req
463. - Wait, where are you guys going?
- You know what?Copy !req
464. You're just like all those other shitheadsCopy !req
465. who think just because they got
danglers between their legs,Copy !req
466. it makes them better than everyone else.Copy !req
467. Go fuck yourself, Bull.Copy !req
468. Oh yeah? Like that's even possible!Copy !req
469. Bull? Is that horrible noise
coming from you?Copy !req
470. Oh. Hey, Honey. Yeah, it's me. Whoa.Copy !req
471. Wow.Copy !req
472. I mean, really, wow. You look great.Copy !req
473. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
474. It's showtime,
so I gotta get properly primped,Copy !req
475. which, if you didn't know, involves
hours and hours of, uh,Copy !req
476. brushing and brushing,Copy !req
477. and then I got my nails clipped,
then I got my teeth brushed, and then...Copy !req
478. What's up with you?Copy !req
479. Are you all right? Oh no.Copy !req
480. Did Nana die?Copy !req
481. Oh. Well, you knew it wouldn't last.Copy !req
482. Oh no, she's fine.Copy !req
483. You know, it's just... just my whole future.Copy !req
484. All my plans.Copy !req
485. It's just hard to say this, but I...
You know, just found out that I, uh—Copy !req
486. - Honey, come! Let's go, girl.
- Oh, uh, sorry, Bull, gotta go.Copy !req
487. Wish me luck.Copy !req
488. Mm-hmm. Sure.Copy !req
489. Okay, well, good luck!Copy !req
490. I'll just be here
until they amputate my nut buds.Copy !req
491. Goodbye, Honey. I shall never partake
in your sweet nectar.Copy !req
492. I, uh... I always loved you.Copy !req
493. There, I said it.
You didn't hear it, but I said it.Copy !req
494. Fuck!Copy !req
495. Dogs are disgusting.Copy !req
496. They're constantly smelling butts,
licking balls, drooling...Copy !req
497. Ugh!Copy !req
498. - You wanna eat some garbage?
- Oh, yes, please.Copy !req
499. Hey, Bull.Copy !req
500. You wanna play, big guy?Copy !req
501. Here he comes,
the head of the castrating committee.Copy !req
502. What do you say, buddy?
Wanna play some fetch?Copy !req
503. Look at me. Look at me!Copy !req
504. Look at the pain you have inflicted on me.Copy !req
505. Don't you pet me. Don't... pet me.Copy !req
506. Don't pet me!Copy !req
507. Yeah, that's right. Walk away.Copy !req
508. Walk away, you bastard!Copy !req
509. How?Copy !req
510. How could you possibly live with yourselfCopy !req
511. and what you're about to do?Copy !req
512. Ah, look at this little guy
pushing his little crumb.Copy !req
513. You want any help, friend?Copy !req
514. No! I got this.Copy !req
515. I got it. Uh! I can do it.Copy !req
516. Yes.Copy !req
517. Yes, you can! So can I!Copy !req
518. I don't have to submit
to this senseless mutilation.Copy !req
519. I, like the ant,
will push that metaphoric crumb, my balls,Copy !req
520. up the grass of hope and opportunityCopy !req
521. to freedom!Copy !req
522. These two-legged, upright, hairless jerks.Copy !req
523. You think just because you give me food
and shelter and little kisses and hugsCopy !req
524. and make me feel
so safe and warm and loved,Copy !req
525. that gives you the right to butcher me.Copy !req
526. No more collars, no more baths,
no more teeth cleanings for me.Copy !req
527. I'm gonna eat what I want,
sleep where I want.Copy !req
528. I'm gonna do whatever I want,
whenever I want,Copy !req
529. with newer, better friends.Copy !req
530. I am a wild fucking wolf!Copy !req
531. Ow.Copy !req
532. Hurt, it hurt so badCopy !req
533. Hurt, it hurt so badCopy !req
534. Hurt, it hurt so badCopy !req
535. Hurt so badCopy !req
536. I know youCopy !req
537. Don't know what I am going throughCopy !req
538. Standing hereCopy !req
539. Looking at youCopy !req
540. PleaseCopy !req
541. Brainless loser.Copy !req
542. Baby, baby, baby, baby, babyCopy !req
543. Come back, it hurts so badCopy !req
544. Yes, it doesCopy !req
545. Well, there it is, boys.Copy !req
546. Our destiny awaits.Copy !req
547. It's gonna be just the three of us now,Copy !req
548. so we might as well
get to know each other properly.Copy !req
549. Lefty, you've always been a little bigger,Copy !req
550. and, for some reason,
consistently spicier.Copy !req
551. So your name will be Ol' Spice.Copy !req
552. Righty, you're small but mighty.Copy !req
553. A take-charge type.Copy !req
554. You will be Napoleon.Copy !req
555. You see all that?Copy !req
556. That's our new home.Copy !req
557. As far as the eye can see.Copy !req
558. Shit. I'm already hungry.Copy !req
559. Where am I gonna eat?Copy !req
560. Maybe I didn't think this
all the way through.Copy !req
561. Oh, food rain!Copy !req
562. Never get that
in the old domesticated dungeon.Copy !req
563. Whoa.Copy !req
564. That smell is weird.Copy !req
565. It's like it has a hint of skunk
with just a kiss of citrus and pine.Copy !req
566. Mmm.Copy !req
567. Oh... What's that sound?Copy !req
568. Hey! Stop that.Copy !req
569. I'm gonna get you.Copy !req
570. - Hey, Bull.
- What?Copy !req
571. Why, hello, my... milady.Copy !req
572. So happy I found you.Copy !req
573. I feel like we didn't get
to finish our conversation.Copy !req
574. Oh, uh, you know...Copy !req
575. Actually, I was gonna say, like, you know,Copy !req
576. I'm in love with you, always have been.Copy !req
577. Is that cool?Copy !req
578. That's very cool.Copy !req
579. Can I lick your balls?Copy !req
580. Uh...Copy !req
581. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't expecting that
to be first on the itinerary,Copy !req
582. but if that's how you express your love...Copy !req
583. Mm. Mmm!Copy !req
584. These are great.
So good. So mushy but firm.Copy !req
585. Ah, oh. Ow!Copy !req
586. Hey, that stings.
It's like tiny little needles.Copy !req
587. Oh!Copy !req
588. OhCopy !req
589. Help us.Copy !req
590. Don't let it happen to us!Copy !req
591. - Who said that?
- Please, help.Copy !req
592. Who's there?Copy !req
593. Down here!Copy !req
594. Don't just stand there
staring like some kind of buffoon.Copy !req
595. Do something!Copy !req
596. Ol' Spice? Y... you can talk?Copy !req
597. Of course I can talk, you idiot.Copy !req
598. Now what are you gonna do to save us?Copy !req
599. This dog, he is not smart.Copy !req
600. We must wait no longer.Copy !req
601. It is time to put fate into our own hands,
not the cold paws of this fool.Copy !req
602. I agree, Frenchie.Copy !req
603. We've been hanging around this loser
for far too long.Copy !req
604. No, my bros!Copy !req
605. Come back! I got this, really!
I would never let anything happen to you.Copy !req
606. No!Copy !req
607. Wait! Wait! Come back!Copy !req
608. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
609. You fucking cat! Let go of my balls!Copy !req
610. What?Copy !req
611. Wait, where am I?Copy !req
612. - Oh, my balls.
- Thank God.Copy !req
613. Ooh! It was all a bad dream.Copy !req
614. Uh, well, you look busy,
so I'll just see myself out.Copy !req
615. Yeah, you fucking dogs.Copy !req
616. Needy, neurotic cretins.Copy !req
617. Pissing and shitting wherever you please,Copy !req
618. like the world is your personal toilet.Copy !req
619. Yeah, time we teach
you furniture-fuckers a lesson.Copy !req
620. How to die.Copy !req
621. Meow, he's dead.Copy !req
622. Eh, could be a trick.Copy !req
623. Better rip his face to shreds to be sure.Copy !req
624. My... my pack!Copy !req
625. Huh?Copy !req
626. What are you supposed to be?Copy !req
627. Mother calls this "Bad Boy Fetch."Copy !req
628. Fucking dogs.Copy !req
629. You... You came for me?Copy !req
630. After everything I said?Copy !req
631. We know you didn't mean it.
You were panicked, delusional, crazed.Copy !req
632. You had the nut-loss fever.Copy !req
633. I am so sorry.Copy !req
634. I was just so scared, angry, confused,Copy !req
635. I lashed out at you, my crate-mates.Copy !req
636. Apology accepted.Copy !req
637. Now, what the hell are we gonna do
about all these fucking cats?Copy !req
638. This is some tense shit.
Why aren't they attacking?Copy !req
639. 'Cause they're trying to mindfuck us.Copy !req
640. It's that meowing.Copy !req
641. They're trying to lull us
into some kind of hypnotic trance.Copy !req
642. I think it's working.Copy !req
643. Then, when you least expect it,Copy !req
644. they'll attack us
in a mad, uncontrollable rage of fury.Copy !req
645. I... I can't move.Copy !req
646. Fucking dogs.Copy !req
647. Well, I guess that's it.Copy !req
648. Time to go home and face the hatchet.Copy !req
649. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec.
You know, we didn't get to use our gibletsCopy !req
650. before them humans
ripped them away from us,Copy !req
651. but you still have yours.Copy !req
652. We're gonna go out thereCopy !req
653. and suck every bit of fun
out of those balls before you lose them.Copy !req
654. Together.Copy !req
655. We're all gonna suck your balls.Copy !req
656. - What?
- Whoa.Copy !req
657. - Huh?
- Oh no, no.Copy !req
658. I meant
we're just going along for the rideCopy !req
659. as you enjoy your balls
before you lose them.Copy !req
660. That's right, Lucky.
It'll never be tonight ever again.Copy !req
661. We're domesticated and proud.Copy !req
662. But tonight, we're off leash!Copy !req
663. Kill the squirrel!Copy !req
664. Oh shit.Copy !req
665. We just mutilated
that poor little squirrel.Copy !req
666. Why do you think we were chasing it?Copy !req
667. I don't know.Copy !req
668. Why do dogs chase squirrels?Copy !req
669. Because we hate those disease-ridden,
furry little tree rodents.Copy !req
670. How am I supposed to clean myself?
I don't wanna lick squirrel blood.Copy !req
671. Ugh, yuck!Copy !req
672. Another squirrel!Copy !req
673. Lucky, no, that's not a squirrel!Copy !req
674. That's a skunk!Copy !req
675. Ah! Ah! My eyes! No! No! Ah!Copy !req
676. Oh, my eyes are itching so bad!Copy !req
677. Oh! Yeah! Wow, it hurts so good!Copy !req
678. Whoa. Guys, you gotta get in on this.Copy !req
679. - Oh yeah, uh-uh.
- Hell, no.Copy !req
680. Yeah, I'm good.Copy !req
681. Fuck off, humans!Copy !req
682. No one tells us where to shit.Copy !req
683. Help me.Copy !req
684. They've gone too far.Copy !req
685. Crazy dogs!Copy !req
686. Uh... Uh... Uh...Copy !req
687. Hey! I can walk. I can walk, I can walk!Copy !req
688. Freedom has its cost.Copy !req
689. What the hell?Copy !req
690. Bull?Copy !req
691. Honey? Honey, I can't believe it's you.Copy !req
692. - What?
- Oh my goodness.Copy !req
693. I hope you're all right.Copy !req
694. Bull, are you okay?Copy !req
695. Oh, wow. It's crazy to see you like this
'cause I... I realized with everything...Copy !req
696. And then, 'cause I... I...Copy !req
697. Uh, well, I... I love you.Copy !req
698. Sorry, Bull. We're late for the dog show!Copy !req
699. Hey! Hey. Did you get hit by a car?Copy !req
700. - Honey.
- Huh?Copy !req
701. - Where?
- Here.Copy !req
702. - Huh?
- Honey.Copy !req
703. What happened?Copy !req
704. Bull got hit by a car
and thinks he saw Honey.Copy !req
705. I did see her, and... and...
Well, I tried to tell her I love her.Copy !req
706. She was late for the dog show
and drove off before I could tell her.Copy !req
707. Now, I never will.Copy !req
708. I couldn't do it with my balls,
and without them, it'll be impossible.Copy !req
709. She's gone forever.Copy !req
710. Bull, what do you smell?Copy !req
711. Uh... Dog shampoo...Copy !req
712. perfume,Copy !req
713. pretentious assholes,Copy !req
714. judgment and the stench of disappointment.Copy !req
715. Oh my gosh!Copy !req
716. The dog show!Copy !req
717. Now let's get you some Honey.Copy !req
718. How are we gonna get in?Copy !req
719. Ooh! I've got an idea.Copy !req
720. I don't know about this, guys.Copy !req
721. Come on, Lucky.
You're so good at making that human sound.Copy !req
722. They'll never know.Copy !req
723. Fucking hell, boys. Posture, posture.Copy !req
724. Fetch, tuck in that nose-boner.Copy !req
725. No! That's even worse.Copy !req
726. - Hi!
- Oh, uh, hi.Copy !req
727. - How's it going?
- Hi!Copy !req
728. How? That guy is really bad at his job.Copy !req
729. Leg back, spine straight, chin up.Copy !req
730. Perfect.Copy !req
731. Peppy walk, peppy walk,
peppy walk, peppy walk.Copy !req
732. Victory jump, victory jump, victory jump.Copy !req
733. A-woof. A-woof. A-woof.Copy !req
734. Oh, that's not right.Copy !req
735. Ruff! Ruff!Copy !req
736. Oh, that's the good stuff.Copy !req
737. Well done, old chap.Copy !req
738. Next up, the borzoi showing, stage one.Copy !req
739. He said borzoi. That's Honey!Copy !req
740. Gotta find stage one.Copy !req
741. I'm worthless.Copy !req
742. I should be put to sleep.Copy !req
743. I don't deserve to live.Copy !req
744. Oh, jeez. Harsh.Copy !req
745. These poor dogs, constantly judged.Copy !req
746. What a life.Copy !req
747. A flower does not think
of competing with the flower next to it.Copy !req
748. It just blooms.Copy !req
749. To be a champion, you must face
not the competitor next to you.Copy !req
750. You must face the one inside you.Copy !req
751. Wow. That is so deep, Lucky.Copy !req
752. Oh, chocolate soft serve on the floor!Copy !req
753. No, Lucky, that's shit!Copy !req
754. That is just freaky.Copy !req
755. And now, to announce our Best of Breed.Copy !req
756. - Entry number 48.
- Honey.Copy !req
757. Three-time winner
and reigning champion, Sterling!Copy !req
758. Yes, of course, of course.Copy !req
759. Sterling wins. No surprise here.Copy !req
760. Ugh, he's such a douche.Copy !req
761. And now, for our best-judged female,Copy !req
762. taking home the title of Best Breed
and now champion, Honey!Copy !req
763. Wow. I can't believe it. I did it!Copy !req
764. I told you. All your hard work paid off.Copy !req
765. Look how happy she is.Copy !req
766. Why would she ever want
a miserable sack of shit like me?Copy !req
767. Look at you, standing out from the crowd.Copy !req
768. So special.Copy !req
769. So special?Copy !req
770. But what if you're different? Is that bad?Copy !req
771. You're, like, so much better than me.
It's my nose, isn't it? It's too long.Copy !req
772. - Wait, no, it looks just like mine.
- It's your ass. It's so symmetrical.Copy !req
773. Why do I keep torturing myself?
I'll never win.Copy !req
774. You're perfect. This is hopeless!Copy !req
775. I hope you choke
on your blue ribbon, bitch!Copy !req
776. - Whoa. What?
- I shouldn't have eaten breakfast.Copy !req
777. Why would they choose a pig
to win a dog show?Copy !req
778. No!Copy !req
779. Ugh, how did I not see this?Copy !req
780. Different is good.Copy !req
781. I don't want to be like everyone else.Copy !req
782. Bull was right.Copy !req
783. I wanna be me.Copy !req
784. And I want...Copy !req
785. Bull?Copy !req
786. Ugh. Non-brushed, horrid smell.Copy !req
787. - You're not a show dog, vile creature.
- Fuck you.Copy !req
788. You think you're better because you drank
from your mother's nipple.Copy !req
789. - What?
- I'm as good as you. My mama loved me!Copy !req
790. She did her best.
There were 15 of us, for fuck's sake.Copy !req
791. How can one mother feed so many mouths?Copy !req
792. Reginald, we're on stage, now!Copy !req
793. Ugh, this is not gonna end well.Copy !req
794. Reginald, stop resisting.Copy !req
795. Oh.Copy !req
796. Don't do it, mate. Don't go down there.Copy !req
797. Bull! Bull!Copy !req
798. Ugh. Can this night get any worse?Copy !req
799. Hey, we're here for you, pal.Copy !req
800. Come on, the night's still young.Copy !req
801. Ooh! Let's go get sprayed
by that skunk again!Copy !req
802. No, thanks.Copy !req
803. Mother says some herbal tea
always brightens the mood.Copy !req
804. Oh, fuck your mother, Fetch!Copy !req
805. What Bull needs right nowCopy !req
806. is to teabag someone
before his bags are gone!Copy !req
807. I'm sorry, guys. I can't. I'm done.Copy !req
808. Look, I know that wasn't ideal,
but we can't go out like that.Copy !req
809. - Yeah.
- I'm not feeling super...
duh... in the mood right now.Copy !req
810. So let's get in the mood.Copy !req
811. There's no better way
to get over heartbreakCopy !req
812. than to immediately move to someone else.Copy !req
813. Just forget it, Rocco.Copy !req
814. Damn, I need to mount something stat.
You wanna head to the Humphouse tonight?Copy !req
815. Yes, please.
That place is swimming with tail.Copy !req
816. No shit, Richie. It's a dog whorehouse.Copy !req
817. Ugh, why do you have to be
such a dick all the time?Copy !req
818. Let's follow those guys.
They sound goal-oriented.Copy !req
819. Whoa.Copy !req
820. Whoo! Hot stuff up in here tonight.
I gotta get me a drink.Copy !req
821. Yeah! This is what tonight is all about.Copy !req
822. - Let's hit it.
- Sure. Whatever. If you guys want.Copy !req
823. Welcome, bitches.Copy !req
824. Are you ready to go wild?Copy !req
825. See, I tried that earlier.
I was going crazy.Copy !req
826. Oh, sweetheart, it is not wild out there.Copy !req
827. This is the place where it is... ... wild.Copy !req
828. Now enter the house of pleasure.Copy !req
829. This way?Copy !req
830. - Yeah. All right.
- Okay.Copy !req
831. What is it, baby?Copy !req
832. I don't know.Copy !req
833. I guess I've never met
another dog like you.Copy !req
834. Mm. And you never will again.Copy !req
835. I am one of a kind.Copy !req
836. I am Frankie.Copy !req
837. Frankie?Copy !req
838. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
839. What is your name?Copy !req
840. Lucky.Copy !req
841. Ooh. Yes, you are, aren't you?Copy !req
842. Follow me.Copy !req
843. Okay, sure.Copy !req
844. - Whoa
- I'll take you to the candy shopCopy !req
845. Yeah...Copy !req
846. Fuck me.Copy !req
847. - Uh-huh
- I'll have you spendin' all you gotCopy !req
848. - Come on
- Keep goin' 'til you hit the spot...Copy !req
849. Mother, help me.Copy !req
850. Temperature risin', okay
Let's go to the next levelCopy !req
851. Dance floor jam-packed
Hot as a tea kettleCopy !req
852. I'll break it down for you now
Baby, it's simpleCopy !req
853. If you be a nympho, I'll be a nymphoCopy !req
854. In the hotel...Copy !req
855. It's whatever you intoCopy !req
856. Got the magic stick
I'm the love doctorCopy !req
857. Have your friends teasin' you
'Bout how sprung I got you...Copy !req
858. Sit!Copy !req
859. Roll over!Copy !req
860. Play dead!Copy !req
861. Oh shit. That's hardcore.Copy !req
862. I'm tryin' to explain, baby
The best way I can...Copy !req
863. Uh... uh... uh, you know what?
This is all really intense,Copy !req
864. and with all the Honey stuff going on,
I don't know if I—Copy !req
865. Bull, forget about Honey, son.
She's not here.Copy !req
866. But you are, and so is she.Copy !req
867. The things we doCopy !req
868. Are just between me and you, yeahCopy !req
869. Give it to me, baby...Copy !req
870. The cuties are out tonight.Copy !req
871. Ride like you in a rodeoCopy !req
872. You ain't never heard
A sound like this before...Copy !req
873. Oh, okay. I'm gonna go check this one out.Copy !req
874. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
I don't know what to do.Copy !req
875. Just be yourself.Copy !req
876. I don't know who that is!Copy !req
877. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
878. Hi, this is Bull. Never been adjusted.
All natural. Know what I'm saying?Copy !req
879. Well, hello, Bull.Copy !req
880. I'm Molasses.Copy !req
881. Molasses.Copy !req
882. SweetCopy !req
883. Sweet, sticky thingCopy !req
884. SweetCopy !req
885. It's a sign.Copy !req
886. Molasses is a tastier version of Honey.Copy !req
887. Go get it.Copy !req
888. Can I get some?Copy !req
889. Get some of what?Copy !req
890. Oh, I mean, can I some drink on you?Copy !req
891. No, wait. Uh, uh— Yeah, a drink of you?Copy !req
892. Can I, uh, I mean, get you a drink?Copy !req
893. Oh, okay. Follow me.Copy !req
894. No worries, mate. You've got this.Copy !req
895. - Really?
- Nope.Copy !req
896. He's fucked.Copy !req
897. Yeah, I don't know.Copy !req
898. I guess I'm always chasing
a new smell or a new tasteCopy !req
899. because, to me,
that's like truth or something, I guess.Copy !req
900. But... I'm never satisfied.
Does that make any sense?Copy !req
901. Yes. Of course it does.Copy !req
902. But perhaps you fixate on the externalCopy !req
903. because you are scared
of something which lies inside.Copy !req
904. I know this feeling well.Copy !req
905. You struggle to accept yourself,Copy !req
906. to love yourself.Copy !req
907. Well, uh, you're right.Copy !req
908. I've always felt kind of different,
I guess.Copy !req
909. I don't know how to love myself.Copy !req
910. And maybe you could show me?Copy !req
911. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
912. Oh.Copy !req
913. Uh...Copy !req
914. Oh!Copy !req
915. Yeah!Copy !req
916. Okay, that was quick.Copy !req
917. Now... it is your turn.Copy !req
918. Well, what do I do?Copy !req
919. The same thing I did to you.Copy !req
920. - But I've never done anything like this.
- So...Copy !req
921. Wow! I haven't seen one like that before.Copy !req
922. Sweetheart, that is my specialness.
My... my everything.Copy !req
923. Myself, which is very deserving of love.Copy !req
924. You've got a pea pod and a zucchini?Copy !req
925. Yummy, isn't it?Copy !req
926. Are you hungry?Copy !req
927. Well, sure. I'm always hungry.Copy !req
928. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
929. You nervous, baby?Copy !req
930. Yeah, I'm...Copy !req
931. Let's see what you're all about.Copy !req
932. Ooh, that's musky.Copy !req
933. Oh, my!Copy !req
934. Have you ever smelled pure, untapped heat?Copy !req
935. You know, I... I... I don't think so.Copy !req
936. Is that what that smell is?
It's quite tangy.Copy !req
937. It's like a sausage but sweeter,
like apple sausage.Copy !req
938. I... I always wondered,
is apple sausage made from real apples?Copy !req
939. Oh, bathe in it, boo-boo.Copy !req
940. It'll cleanse you of any inhibitions,
fill you with desire.Copy !req
941. Actually, it's clearing my allergies.Copy !req
942. Or it might be a chronic sinus issue.
Hard to tell.Copy !req
943. - You're babbling.
- Me? No, that's silly.Copy !req
944. It's just my oral foreplay.Copy !req
945. You know, some dogs
do it with their tongues, or whatever.Copy !req
946. But I throw out the seduction and pleasure
through an audio-symphonic "dick-tation,"Copy !req
947. if you know what I mean,
if you catch my drift...Copy !req
948. Well, then, why won't you
just speak into the microphone?Copy !req
949. - Hey!
- Is this thing on?Copy !req
950. What's the deal with fire hydrants?
Am I right?Copy !req
951. Slow down, cowboy.
Good things come to those who wait.Copy !req
952. Yeah. I don't know how true that is.Copy !req
953. I was waiting for something good,
my best friend, Honey.Copy !req
954. - Mm-hmm.
- You'd like her, actually.Copy !req
955. Similar name categories too,
interestingly enough.Copy !req
956. I guess I always thought
there was a chance.Copy !req
957. But I waited and waited,
and now it's too late.Copy !req
958. I know I said best friend,
but Honey's actually a lot more than that.Copy !req
959. She's basically my cool, wet grass
that I scoot on.Copy !req
960. She's my first morning pee.Copy !req
961. You know what? Can you get an itch for me?Copy !req
962. It's all the way by my shoulders.Copy !req
963. Yeah, sure. Okay.Copy !req
964. She's all I ever needed or wanted,Copy !req
965. and I never had the courage
to just say what I needed to say to her.Copy !req
966. Here we go!Copy !req
967. Bull?Copy !req
968. Honey! Oh my God, you're here!Copy !req
969. Oh, okay, you know what?
I'm really not into multiples.Copy !req
970. I'm kidding! I totally am!Copy !req
971. Can you imagine
if that's where I drew the line?Copy !req
972. Un-fucking-real.Copy !req
973. I can't believe I ran away from a show
just to find you mounting another dog.Copy !req
974. You left the show to find me?Copy !req
975. Wait. That's amazing! That's great!Copy !req
976. This isn't, by the way—
I'm not mounting anybody.Copy !req
977. Well, what would you call that?Copy !req
978. What the— No, no!Copy !req
979. Yeah, you ain't going nowhere now, baby.Copy !req
980. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
981. - God, I'm such an idiot.
- Honey, no! Wait, I can explain!Copy !req
982. I saw you and Sterling, and I thought—Copy !req
983. I mean, that's what you wanted, isn't it?Copy !req
984. Doesn't matter now.
I thought maybe you were different.Copy !req
985. Clearly, you are the same as all of them.Copy !req
986. No! Honey, this is not that.Copy !req
987. You're hanging by your dick
from her vagina, Bull!Copy !req
988. What do you call it?Copy !req
989. I don't know what to call it,
but it isn't sex.Copy !req
990. Oh shit! It's the cops!Copy !req
991. I will rescue you, my darling.Copy !req
992. You are the best lover I ever had.Copy !req
993. No inhibitions, pure desire.Copy !req
994. Lucky, no!Copy !req
995. Stay away from her, motherfuckers!Copy !req
996. I can handle myself. Stay away from me.Copy !req
997. Shit!Copy !req
998. No!Copy !req
999. We gotta get out of here!Copy !req
1000. Oh! Rocco! Ah!Copy !req
1001. Ooh!Copy !req
1002. Ooh. You're mine now.Copy !req
1003. Oh shit! Look at those balls!Copy !req
1004. Come on, come on, I'm in heat!
Take me now, take me now!Copy !req
1005. Give me the juice,
give me the juice, give me the juice!Copy !req
1006. Hey, baby.Copy !req
1007. Fucking hell, nipples.Copy !req
1008. Look at those nipples!
Look at all them nipples.Copy !req
1009. Come on and suck on these teats.Copy !req
1010. - Mum, can I finally really have some, Mum?
- Come get it, boy.Copy !req
1011. - No, Rocco! That's not your mom!
- But the nipples! The nipples!Copy !req
1012. Honey.Copy !req
1013. I'm a convict.
Mother will never forgive me.Copy !req
1014. No more likes. No more hearts.Copy !req
1015. You have to face the truth, Fetch.Copy !req
1016. You're just a dog.Copy !req
1017. Bow-wow-wow.Copy !req
1018. Bow-wow.Copy !req
1019. I know this probably isn't the right time
to say this, but I fell in love.Copy !req
1020. What? With who?Copy !req
1021. That striking Doberman, Frankie.Copy !req
1022. They are everything and have everything.Copy !req
1023. Everything? What do you mean?Copy !req
1024. They had a fruit and a vegetable.Copy !req
1025. Ah, I've heard about this.Copy !req
1026. You see, Frankie was born
with both a cannoli and a lasagna.Copy !req
1027. I'm confused.Copy !req
1028. That doesn't matter, okay?Copy !req
1029. All I know
is they taught me how to love myself.Copy !req
1030. And how to 699.Copy !req
1031. This is all my fault.Copy !req
1032. - Yeah.
- For sure.Copy !req
1033. Oh, yeah. No, everything that happened
is your fault, definitely.Copy !req
1034. - Thanks for the support.
- Oh, look at you.Copy !req
1035. You don't belong in here.Copy !req
1036. Let's see if you have a chip.
Yep, here we go.Copy !req
1037. Well, it won't be long now.Copy !req
1038. - How do you know?
- He scanned her chip.Copy !req
1039. Her owners are being informed
of her location as we speak.Copy !req
1040. Well, that's great, I guess.Copy !req
1041. She doesn't belong in a place like this.Copy !req
1042. Right this way. She's back here.Copy !req
1043. There she is.Copy !req
1044. Oh, Honey, my precious little angel.Copy !req
1045. How you ended up here, I'll never know.Copy !req
1046. We better hurry home. We have
a big playdate for our little champion.Copy !req
1047. Big playdate?Copy !req
1048. Oh no.Copy !req
1049. What is it?Copy !req
1050. That's what he meant at the park! Fuck!Copy !req
1051. If Honey won,
then he would get to breed with her.Copy !req
1052. She's gonna be studded out
to that douchebag Sterling.Copy !req
1053. It's over.Copy !req
1054. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1055. I gotta go. I gotta go bad.
Where do I go? Where do I go?Copy !req
1056. Don't you smell it, Lucky?
It's all around you.Copy !req
1057. This fucking whole place
is a giant pee puddle.Copy !req
1058. Holy shit, that just might work.Copy !req
1059. All right. Listen up, everyone.Copy !req
1060. Once we were on vacation
at this place called Las Vegas, right?Copy !req
1061. They had a lot of lights, and all the...Copy !req
1062. What the heck's going on in there?Copy !req
1063. What the—Copy !req
1064. Bellagio these motherfuckers!Copy !req
1065. Now what?Copy !req
1066. Now you be the best human you can be.Copy !req
1067. Ah, you there, dog.Copy !req
1068. Do you think you could help out
a, you know, fellow animal here?Copy !req
1069. Yeah, uh, not gonna happen. Fucking cats.Copy !req
1070. Fucking dogs.Copy !req
1071. Bull!Copy !req
1072. What is it, Lucky?
We don't have much time.Copy !req
1073. I have to find Frankie.Copy !req
1074. - But—
- Frankie is my "Honey," Bull.Copy !req
1075. Ah shit, pal. That's all you have to say.Copy !req
1076. Good luck.Copy !req
1077. Frankie!Copy !req
1078. Frankie!Copy !req
1079. Frankie!Copy !req
1080. Frankie!Copy !req
1081. Hungry?Copy !req
1082. Frankie?Copy !req
1083. The one and only.Copy !req
1084. What the—Copy !req
1085. Yeah, they've been worried sick about you.Copy !req
1086. Went house-to-house
looking for you and everything.Copy !req
1087. That's how we knew you left.Copy !req
1088. They... they love and miss me?Copy !req
1089. Then why the hell
do they wanna cut off my balls?Copy !req
1090. It's sweet and horrific
all at the same time.Copy !req
1091. Oh, these two
are gonna produce a prize-winning litter.Copy !req
1092. We're gonna make so much money.Copy !req
1093. Gosh, I forgot cheese and crackers.Copy !req
1094. Ooh, I'll help you. Hold on.Copy !req
1095. - Gotta get loose.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1096. Don't wanna pull my hammy
when I'm giving you the slam-bammy.Copy !req
1097. Stretch it out.Copy !req
1098. - Ugh. Whatever. Less talking, please.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1099. Like, no talking.Copy !req
1100. Seriously, Honey, you should consider
yourself one lucky bitch.Copy !req
1101. I'm kind of a top-notch stud.
Like, there's a long waiting list.Copy !req
1102. Oh, it's a shame
you can't mate with yourselfCopy !req
1103. since you're so cool and interesting.Copy !req
1104. What can I say? Everyone wants my DNA.Copy !req
1105. I shoot gold out of this gun.Copy !req
1106. I've got a glistening coat,
symmetrical body structure,Copy !req
1107. healthy gums, powerful gait,
and a generally imposing stature.Copy !req
1108. Every bit the perfect asshole.Copy !req
1109. Yes, that too.Copy !req
1110. It's bleached every other week.Copy !req
1111. Ugh.Copy !req
1112. - He's such a douche.
- What are you gonna do?Copy !req
1113. I'm gonna hop this fence
and kick the shit out of that fucker!Copy !req
1114. Woo-hoo! Go, Bull!Copy !req
1115. I hope that stops soon.Copy !req
1116. I wouldn't want it to interfere
with the timing of my rhythmic thrusting.Copy !req
1117. Right. Because if there's one thing
that makes sex great, it's predictability.Copy !req
1118. Okay, I'm properly stretched.Copy !req
1119. Let's get this on, baby.Copy !req
1120. Oh no. They're starting.Copy !req
1121. Ooh, this is gonna be
the most painful one.Copy !req
1122. I got this.Copy !req
1123. Why didn't you do that
the first six times?Copy !req
1124. Well, I thought he'd make it.Copy !req
1125. Oh.Copy !req
1126. Ooh.Copy !req
1127. Oh.Copy !req
1128. Oh yes.Copy !req
1129. Oh.Copy !req
1130. Oh!Copy !req
1131. Oh yes.Copy !req
1132. Oh! Ah.Copy !req
1133. Bull.Copy !req
1134. My queen.Copy !req
1135. What the hell?Copy !req
1136. Honey, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1137. I came to the dog show to tell you...
something.Copy !req
1138. Something...
I should have said a long time ago.Copy !req
1139. But when I saw you and... ... SterlingCopy !req
1140. up there, I thought I had blown my chance.Copy !req
1141. I never should have gone
to that freaky-ass...Copy !req
1142. Humphouse place.Copy !req
1143. - Bull, I—
- Uh. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1144. I have to say it now. I love you.Copy !req
1145. Oh, baby.Copy !req
1146. Oh yeah. Of course you love me.Copy !req
1147. Who wouldn't after this jackhammering?Copy !req
1148. What? He's going faster.Copy !req
1149. But to be clear, I do not love you.Copy !req
1150. Sorry, but I pride myself
in always being honest.Copy !req
1151. You're just one of the many.Copy !req
1152. I've loved you since we were pups.Copy !req
1153. I loved when you chewed on my ears.Copy !req
1154. I loved that when it rained,
we tried to bite all the raindrops.Copy !req
1155. I still pee like a girl
because the way you did it seemed better.Copy !req
1156. Oh, Bull, are you crying?Copy !req
1157. Yeah, and not really sure
if they're tears of joy or pain,Copy !req
1158. or what the heck's going on.Copy !req
1159. I don't know what's gonna happen
after this,Copy !req
1160. but know that I will always
and forever love you.Copy !req
1161. Oh, Sterling!Copy !req
1162. - Oh yeah.
- Oh yes. Oh, Sterling.Copy !req
1163. That was interesting.Copy !req
1164. You're very tight,Copy !req
1165. or probably I'm so large.Copy !req
1166. I hope my girth didn't hurt much,
not that I care.Copy !req
1167. Okay, bye.Copy !req
1168. What a performance. Who wants a cookie?Copy !req
1169. I think she really enjoyed it.Copy !req
1170. I'm not dripping, am I?Copy !req
1171. That was amazing.Copy !req
1172. You're like a hero.Copy !req
1173. Fuck Lassie. Fuck Beethoven.
Even Benji can go fuck himself.Copy !req
1174. You're the real deal.Copy !req
1175. Yeah, that was some inspirational shit.Copy !req
1176. Well, I'm totally into ass play,Copy !req
1177. but the idea that Sterling's demon seed
is inside of meCopy !req
1178. is completely traumatizing.
So I'm gonna go dump him out.Copy !req
1179. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
1180. Ow.Copy !req
1181. Bull? Oh my God!Copy !req
1182. Bull, you're back!Copy !req
1183. Come here, Bully Boy.Copy !req
1184. - Oh, holy shit, he smells like ass.
- Oh, my baby.Copy !req
1185. Watch the butthole, people, please.Copy !req
1186. Uh, Honey?Copy !req
1187. - Honey, I—
- Quiet. It's my turn to talk.Copy !req
1188. What you did, I just...
I just wanna say thank you.Copy !req
1189. And I wanna tell you, I love you too.Copy !req
1190. Ever since we were pups.
Just like you said.Copy !req
1191. - No way.
- Yes, you idiot.Copy !req
1192. Why do you think I was always waiting
at the fence for you to wake up?Copy !req
1193. I loved how you smelled
your first pee spotCopy !req
1194. for 15 minutes each morning,Copy !req
1195. checking the same area
over and over again.Copy !req
1196. I love that you failed obedience schoolCopy !req
1197. and that you sleep
on your back spread-eagleCopy !req
1198. and that you were always waiting for me
when I got home.Copy !req
1199. But I'm a... I'm a mutt. You're perfect.Copy !req
1200. Well, perfection has its flaws.Copy !req
1201. I'm over it.Copy !req
1202. What about your lineage?Copy !req
1203. Oh, fuck lineage.
The world has enough Sterlings, right?Copy !req
1204. Yeah, but you should know
I'm about to lose my one good asset.Copy !req
1205. Uh.Copy !req
1206. Yeah, trust me,
no one is gonna miss those.Copy !req
1207. Really?Copy !req
1208. Really.Copy !req
1209. You are you in spite of those,
not because of them.Copy !req
1210. Wish you could've told me that earlier.Copy !req
1211. We could've avoided this whole night.Copy !req
1212. Well, I'm glad I didn't, because then
we might not have ended up together.Copy !req
1213. You are one of a kind, Bull.Copy !req
1214. And I love you for it.Copy !req
1215. And you know, I'm still in heat.Copy !req
1216. Me and Mrs., Mrs. JonesCopy !req
1217. Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. JonesCopy !req
1218. We got a thing going onCopy !req
1219. When I wake up in the mornin', loveCopy !req
1220. And the sunlight hurts my eyesCopy !req
1221. And somethin' without warnin', loveCopy !req
1222. Bears heavy on my mindCopy !req
1223. Then I look at youCopy !req
1224. And the world's all right with meCopy !req
1225. Just one look at youCopy !req
1226. And I know it's gonna beCopy !req
1227. - A lovely day
- Lovely day, lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1228. Lovely dayCopy !req
1229. Lovely day, lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1230. - A lovely day
- Lovely day, lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1231. Lovely day, lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1232. Lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1233. Then I look at youCopy !req
1234. And the world's all right with meCopy !req
1235. Just one look at youCopy !req
1236. And I know it's gonna beCopy !req
1237. - A lovely day
- Lovely day, lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1238. Lovely day, lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1239. Lovely day, lovely dayCopy !req
1240. - A lovely day
- Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day...Copy !req
1241. - 'Sup, dog?
- What's up? Looking good.Copy !req
1242. - Hey, thanks.
- Wow. So fit, Bull.Copy !req
1243. Thanks, pup.Copy !req
1244. Ooh, looking good, Bull.Copy !req
1245. My man!Copy !req
1246. - What's up, Bull?
- Hey, Bull!Copy !req
1247. What's good, y'all?Copy !req
1248. Hey, cowboy.Copy !req
1249. Howdy, partner.Copy !req
1250. How's it feeling?Copy !req
1251. Well, you know, okay, I guess.Copy !req
1252. But sometimes
I get these phantom feelings,Copy !req
1253. like they're still there,Copy !req
1254. and then there's the nightmares.Copy !req
1255. They come haunt me
like some crazy-ass testicle ghosts.Copy !req
1256. "Why did you kill us, Bull?"Copy !req
1257. "What did we ever do to you? Why?"Copy !req
1258. Ooh, that's super scary.Copy !req
1259. I used to dream
that my balls became clownsCopy !req
1260. and performed at children's parties.Copy !req
1261. Whoa!Copy !req
1262. Hi, Honey.Copy !req
1263. - Hi.
- All right, doll?Copy !req
1264. Hey, fellas.Copy !req
1265. All those pups.Copy !req
1266. Listen, some of you
might not get the teat, all right?Copy !req
1267. But that's okay.
It doesn't make you any less of a dog.Copy !req
1268. Ugh, this mom thing is a bitch.Copy !req
1269. I can't get a night's rest
without someone sucking on my nipples.Copy !req
1270. I just... I...Copy !req
1271. I can't figure it out.Copy !req
1272. There's... there's no way
those could be mine.Copy !req
1273. Maybe it's something I ate that day.Copy !req
1274. Hey there, champ.
We've got a big surprise for you.Copy !req
1275. We filled the toilet with Kool-Aid.Copy !req
1276. - No! What the fuck?
- Come on.Copy !req
1277. No! No, no, no! Uh-uh, no. Oh my God, no!Copy !req
1278. Karma's a bitch.Copy !req
1279. Suck my unobstructed dick, motherfucker!Copy !req
1280. Hey, come on, you bougie bitch.Copy !req
1281. It's ladies' night, and we gotta go.Copy !req
1282. Hey, Bully, do you mind watching the pups?Copy !req
1283. I wanna go with these crazy bitches
and get our freak on.Copy !req
1284. Uh.Copy !req
1285. - Yeah. Okay, sure.
- Woo-hoo!Copy !req
1286. Wait up, you hairy sluts!Copy !req
1287. Don't look so worried, Bull.Copy !req
1288. I mean, how freaky
can those girls get, right?Copy !req
1289. Uh, yeah. You're right, Fetch.Copy !req
1290. How freaky can they get?Copy !req
1291. So hot in, hot inCopy !req
1292. With a little bit a
With a little bit aCopy !req
1293. It's gettin' hot in hereCopy !req
1294. So take off all your clothesCopy !req
1295. I am gettin' so hotCopy !req
1296. I wanna take my clothes offCopy !req
1297. Oh! Its gettin' hot in hereCopy !req
1298. So take off all your clothesCopy !req
1299. I am gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes offCopy !req
1300. Let it hang all outCopy !req
1301. Give a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ahCopy !req
1302. Let it hang all outCopy !req
1303. With a little bit a ah, ah
And a sprinkle of that ah, ahCopy !req
1304. Let it just fall outCopy !req
1305. I like it when ya ah, ah
Girl, baby, make it ah, ahCopy !req
1306. OhCopy !req