1. If you really want
to hear my story,Copy !req
2. you'll first have to get used to the ideaCopy !req
3. that you won't be hearing
a pleasant story.Copy !req
4. Oh, I beg your pardon.
Allow me, I'm Francis.Copy !req
5. My species is easily overlooked by humans.Copy !req
6. There it is, our new home.Copy !req
7. Right, Francis, out you come.Copy !req
8. Hop.Copy !req
9. One of the things I hate most
in life is moving house.Copy !req
10. But Gustav, my life partner, usually
doesn't make allowances for this.Copy !req
11. He's a trained archaeologist
specializing on Egyptian deities,Copy !req
12. but he earns our living
by writing kitschy novels.Copy !req
13. Whenever he runs out of ideas,
he'll move house.Copy !req
14. He thinks that this helps.Copy !req
15. This is so heavy.
Where is it now?Copy !req
16. Thank God.Copy !req
17. This is heavenly.
Just needs some fresh paint.Copy !req
18. Come on now, Francis.Copy !req
19. Or do I have to carry you
over the threshold?Copy !req
20. The stench of mold hit me
like a hammer.Copy !req
21. I realized immediatelyCopy !req
22. that the unpleasant odor did not arise
from the building's foundation,Copy !req
23. but that it was creeping down
from upstairs.Copy !req
24. It was a mix of pharmacy, veterinary
office, and toxic waste disposal smells.Copy !req
25. And I shouldn't have set a paw
in this house.Copy !req
26. Francis, isn't it gorgeous?Copy !req
27. What a joy.
Renovate, modernize, refurbish.Copy !req
28. Well, well. Where should I put the books?Copy !req
29. Yes... oh, here!Copy !req
30. This is a good place.Copy !req
31. And the cat litter...Copy !req
32. Well, let's see.Copy !req
33. Isn't it beautiful?Copy !req
34. Look at this, Francis. Old stucco.Copy !req
35. Yes, the china, the china.
Where should it go?Copy !req
36. Well, we'll find a place.Copy !req
37. Aha.Copy !req
38. What I was seeing there was
my welcome present, so to speak.Copy !req
39. There he was, my black conspecific,
spreadeagled on the ground.Copy !req
40. But he wasn't sleeping.Copy !req
41. Can opener.Copy !req
42. Can opener?Copy !req
43. What do you mean?Copy !req
44. Well, the damned can openers did it.Copy !req
45. They put a special outlet
into little Sasha's neck.Copy !req
46. Oh, you mean humans. Did you witness it?Copy !req
47. Shit, no. But who else would do such
a thing other than a shitty can opener?Copy !req
48. They're good for nothing
but opening cans for us. Shit, yeah.Copy !req
49. That's the fourth cold bag already.Copy !req
50. You mean he's already the fourth corpse?Copy !req
51. You must be new here.Copy !req
52. Are you moving into the dump in there?Copy !req
53. Nice place. I always go there to pee.Copy !req
54. No, it wasn't a can opener who did this.Copy !req
55. This guy's neck is totally shredded.Copy !req
56. What do they call you...Copy !req
57. smart aleck?Copy !req
58. Francis.Copy !req
59. Francis.Copy !req
60. Oh, not him as well. Archie.Copy !req
61. Oh, Archie, it's still full.Copy !req
62. Yes. Fantastic.Copy !req
63. Cheers.Copy !req
64. I was fascinated from the start,
I really was.Copy !req
65. A doctor's office?Copy !req
66. Hm. Would explain the chemical smell.Copy !req
67. Don't you think parquet is one
size too big for me, Archie?Copy !req
68. But parquet is the minimum,
Gustav. It's an absolute must have.Copy !req
69. Carpet is something only homeless people
use downtown as a bed base.Copy !req
70. As young rebels, we still have
our golden ideals,Copy !req
71. if you don't have a great place to live.Copy !req
72. And when we realize later
that we didn't become great rebels...Copy !req
73. what's left for us then?Copy !req
74. The parquet fetishist was Archibald
Philipp Purpur, aka Archie.Copy !req
75. A trendsetter by trade.Copy !req
76. - Bye, Archie.
- My poor can opener Gustav's only friend.Copy !req
77. Apart from myself, of course.Copy !req
78. I know, it's hard times for you, Francis.Copy !req
79. But I brought your favorite music.Copy !req
80. Mahler's symphony no. 2. Good night.Copy !req
81. Who are you?Copy !req
82. Where are you?Copy !req
83. Come here, buddy.Copy !req
84. Come here and look at the pretty thing
I have for you.Copy !req
85. Argh!Copy !req
86. Wah!Copy !req
87. Are you looking for your old pee spot?
No more peeing here.Copy !req
88. Home decor is created here.Copy !req
89. Cold bag?Copy !req
90. Hell, how... Yes! Cold bag.Copy !req
91. Let me guess.Copy !req
92. It's a guy. Am I right?
Just like the other four bodies.Copy !req
93. Shit, yes.Copy !req
94. How the devil do you know?Copy !req
95. Well, it's just conjecture.Copy !req
96. Anyway, this time it was old Deep Purple
who kicked the bucket.Copy !req
97. His neck looks like someone tried out
their new ice pick.Copy !req
98. One question.
Had Deep Purple been castrated?Copy !req
99. Purple castrated? Oh man.Copy !req
100. Purple was beyond such troubles.Copy !req
101. He was around the same age as Methusaleh,
but he looked much older.Copy !req
102. - Hm.
- "Hm." Is that all you have to say?Copy !req
103. I've had it with you walking out on me.Copy !req
104. Where is Deep Purple's body now?
Can you lead me there?Copy !req
105. Why not?Copy !req
106. Hey, what do they call you, smart aleck?Copy !req
107. Bluebeard.Copy !req
108. However, I've made more kitties happy
than Henry VIII.Copy !req
109. The longer I had to trot behind this proud
invalid and take in all his misery,Copy !req
110. the more I was haunted by the question
who or what he had fallen victim to.Copy !req
111. Ah!Copy !req
112. Dead end!Copy !req
113. Well, hello. There they are,
the typical obnoxious loiterers.Copy !req
114. Good grief. Hermann and Hermann.Copy !req
115. Don't tell me you'll rave about the
advantages of your castration again.Copy !req
116. But I believe you, boys.Copy !req
117. Without the nut bag,
you carry much less weight.Copy !req
118. Kong, why do you still hang out
with these buffoons?Copy !req
119. Bluebeard,
you old house cripple.Copy !req
120. I see that your forays into the gay scene
have been extremely successful.Copy !req
121. The little guy behind you is indeed
a magnificent specimen.Copy !req
122. Does he teach you how they do it?Copy !req
123. No, but he wanted to show you personally.Copy !req
124. He's got the ideal position
for the three of you.Copy !req
125. I can see that you're looking for trouble.
OK, you can have it.Copy !req
126. However, I assume you're
more interested in my friend Francis.Copy !req
127. In this case you should know that I won't
stand idly by such an unfair fight.Copy !req
128. So, how do you want it, old slimeball?Copy !req
129. Come on down.Copy !req
130. I'm about to shit myself, buddy.Copy !req
131. And as far as you're concerned, sweetie,
you can bet your bottom dollarCopy !req
132. that we'll have an interesting
conversation,Copy !req
133. just the two of us
in the not so far future.Copy !req
134. One that you won't forget any time soon.Copy !req
135. So, see you later, pretty babies.Copy !req
136. - Hey, Bluebeard.
- Yeah?Copy !req
137. I'm afraid you're no longer true
to your principles.Copy !req
138. You don't say.Copy !req
139. And why, if you don't mind my asking?Copy !req
140. Well, you told them I was your friend.Copy !req
141. Oof.Copy !req
142. In my opinion, the last minutes
of his life went as follows.Copy !req
143. The murderer bit Purple's neck
several times. That was outside.Copy !req
144. The bloody trails in the garden
are proof of that.Copy !req
145. Purple managed to drag himself into
the garage. Quite a feat for his age.Copy !req
146. Didn't you say earlier that Purple
was beyond such gay troubles?Copy !req
147. You mean sex, yeah?Copy !req
148. Yes! Old Purple was
in a phase of heat when he was killed.Copy !req
149. The most striking detail
of these serial murders is sexuality.Copy !req
150. The killer himself is in heatCopy !req
151. and has very extravagant views
on competitive behavior in his territory.Copy !req
152. Or he is against copulation in general.Copy !req
153. In my days, we called it plugging.Copy !req
154. And I still think it was
a god damned can opener, shit.Copy !req
155. Let's not kid ourselves.Copy !req
156. This bloody hole is a bite wound.Copy !req
157. However, it looks like it was timeCopy !req
158. I found out about this wretched territory
and its inhabitants.Copy !req
159. And you will help me, Bluebeard.Copy !req
160. Will I, really, detective?Copy !req
161. All right. Tomorrow,
I'll introduce you to someone.Copy !req
162. You're not the only smart aleck
in our foggy London for dummies.Copy !req
163. The sound was coming from the first floor.Copy !req
164. I was surprised that the noise
hadn't woken Gustav yet.Copy !req
165. That god damned indomitable curiosity.Copy !req
166. My God, where had I ended up?Copy !req
167. On behalf of brother Claudandus.Copy !req
168. On behalf of brother Claudandus
who sacrificed himself for usCopy !req
169. and became God. Claudandus!
Oh, holy Claudandus!Copy !req
170. Hear our anguish, hear our voice.Copy !req
171. Hear our prayer!Copy !req
172. Accept our sacrifice! Yeah!Copy !req
173. Accept the sacrifice.Copy !req
174. His ending was seen as misfortune,Copy !req
175. and his leaving us as destruction, yeah!Copy !req
176. There will be peace.Copy !req
177. Hallelujah, hallelujah.Copy !req
178. On behalf of brother ClaudandusCopy !req
179. who now dwells among the immortals!Copy !req
180. He shall judge the people
and rule over nations!Copy !req
181. Those who trust in him
shall then know the truth!Copy !req
182. Grace and mercy shall be bestowed
upon his elect!Copy !req
183. Save us.Copy !req
184. Truly, these madcap activities
were beyond The Aristocats.Copy !req
185. Oh, Claudandus.Copy !req
186. - Claudandus, save us.
- Son of pain and light,Copy !req
187. our wounds are full of blood
like your wounds were full of blood.Copy !req
188. Hear...Copy !req
189. There is someone up there!Copy !req
190. What are you idiots waiting for?Copy !req
191. Argh!Copy !req
192. Go on, get him!Copy !req
193. Good Lord.Copy !req
194. Frankenstein's laboratory,
or much, much worse.Copy !req
195. What did it all mean?Copy !req
196. Argh!Copy !req
197. Go on, spread out!
We need to surround him.Copy !req
198. I can smell him...Copy !req
199. He must be here somewhere.Copy !req
200. He was here.Copy !req
201. But where is he now?Copy !req
202. You're new here.Copy !req
203. Right?Copy !req
204. Yes. That's true.Copy !req
205. My name is Francis.Copy !req
206. Friend or foe?Copy !req
207. Friend.Copy !req
208. Forever friend.Copy !req
209. A friend who fell from the sky.Copy !req
210. Not from the sky...Copy !req
211. well, through the skylight. Escaping from
a few crazies of the Claudandus sect.Copy !req
212. That's what I'd expect of these idiots.Copy !req
213. Is it already light outside?Copy !req
214. But don't you see...Copy !req
215. You're blind.Copy !req
216. I'm not blind.Copy !req
217. I just can't see.Copy !req
218. Do you go out sometimes?Copy !req
219. No.Copy !req
220. But until now not a single day
has gone pastCopy !req
221. when I didn't wish I could see
this evil world just once.Copy !req
222. I'm sorry.Copy !req
223. Why?Copy !req
224. There are worse things in life.
You can put up with quite a lot.Copy !req
225. Unless you have to live in a dog parlor.Copy !req
226. Have you always been like this?Copy !req
227. - I mean, this...
- This blind?Copy !req
228. - Mh-hm.
- Yes.Copy !req
229. From birth.Copy !req
230. But it's strange.Copy !req
231. There are images. Images in my head.Copy !req
232. What kind of images?Copy !req
233. I can see a lot of humans
gathered around me.Copy !req
234. They are so big and light.Copy !req
235. One of the humans bends down to me
and smiles at me.Copy !req
236. Suddenly, he has something shiny
in his hand.Copy !req
237. It hurts.Copy !req
238. And I go to sleep.Copy !req
239. You weren't blind from birth.Copy !req
240. Some human did something horrible to you.Copy !req
241. Want me to tell you something?Copy !req
242. Humans are still the nicest beings.Copy !req
243. Who else would keep a blind hen like me?Copy !req
244. May I ask an unusual question?Copy !req
245. Um...Copy !req
246. Felicity.Copy !req
247. In the nights of the past weeks,
have you heard any unusual...Copy !req
248. You mean the death cries?Copy !req
249. Good Lord! You're the first witness
I come across.Copy !req
250. But why are you so interested
in this matter?Copy !req
251. Well, after all, it's murder.Copy !req
252. Murder? Sounds pretty dramatic.Copy !req
253. I think it's just
excessive rivalry fighting.Copy !req
254. What makes you say that?Copy !req
255. The death cries.Copy !req
256. They were all from tomcats who were
on their way to some alluring madonna.Copy !req
257. And suddenly, someone joined them
whom they seemed to know very well.Copy !req
258. Did this someone talk
to the prospective corpses?Copy !req
259. Yes. But I didn't catch any specifics.Copy !req
260. But the tone of his voice
was very... emphatic.Copy !req
261. Heavy with meaning.Copy !req
262. As if he wanted to convince
them of something.Copy !req
263. Mhm.Copy !req
264. And later?Copy !req
265. And then let out the death cry.Copy !req
266. What do you know
about this Claudandus sect?Copy !req
267. I just know that they worship a martyr
by the name of Claudandus.Copy !req
268. Allegedly, he was tormented
and tortured by humansCopy !req
269. here in this area a long time ago.Copy !req
270. Tortured...Copy !req
271. Why did you take off?Copy !req
272. We just wanted to chat with you.Copy !req
273. And 360 volts was supposed
to loosen my tongue, right?Copy !req
274. Felicity, I'll be back.Copy !req
275. But first, I need to discuss
something with him up there.Copy !req
276. On the one hand, you came to me so that
I'd do something about this murder case.Copy !req
277. On the other hand, you withheld
crucial information, Bluebeard.Copy !req
278. Huh?Copy !req
279. What was that?Copy !req
280. Just a pastime.Copy !req
281. Thrills, the whole Claudandus shebang.Copy !req
282. - Not very important.
- Not very important?Copy !req
283. It's been around for a few years.Copy !req
284. Joker was the first to spread
the doctrine of Claudandus.Copy !req
285. With time, he found more
and more followers. That's all.Copy !req
286. Joker? He's the geriatric
master of ceremoniesCopy !req
287. with the charm of a shrunken head.Copy !req
288. Yes, but the whole thing
is harmless, Francis.Copy !req
289. No one knows who Claudandus really was.Copy !req
290. Maybe he never even existed.Copy !req
291. - May I now?
- Yes. Go on, eat.Copy !req
292. Then you'll take me to the genius
you told me about.Copy !req
293. As far as can openers go,
yours is a superb chef. Truly superb!Copy !req
294. I looked it up
in the dictionary.Copy !req
295. Claudandus is Latin and means
"one who should or must be closed".Copy !req
296. There's something to it.Copy !req
297. I can't imagine.Copy !req
298. Oh! You are imagining.Copy !req
299. I imagine all the time.
You're baffled, right?Copy !req
300. Well, at some point, I read a book too.Copy !req
301. Ah.Copy !req
302. Bluebeard was here.Copy !req
303. Oh dear, oh dear.Copy !req
304. Very impressive.Copy !req
305. Are we in the house
of an art professor or... a pimp?Copy !req
306. Shit, I'm not so sure myself.Copy !req
307. I think the guy who owns this pad
is doing something with scienceCopy !req
308. or parapsychology or the devil knows.Copy !req
309. Aha.Copy !req
310. Hm? Aha.Copy !req
311. Welcome, my dear friends.
I had been wondering where you were.Copy !req
312. Bluebeard, tell me.Copy !req
313. So, this smart al... this guy is Francis,Copy !req
314. and the smarty-pants here is Pascal.Copy !req
315. Francis...Copy !req
316. Francis.Copy !req
317. It's a pleasure and an honor
to meet you, Francis.Copy !req
318. May I offer you a snack?Copy !req
319. - Well...
- Thanks, we've eaten.Copy !req
320. Um, I mean, I personally
wouldn't mind a small bite.Copy !req
321. Go ahead, you know where the kitchen is.Copy !req
322. To be honest, in my wildest dreams
it wouldn't have occurred to meCopy !req
323. that one of us could use a computer.Copy !req
324. In my modest way,
I'm trying to use the computerCopy !req
325. to get wise to the vicious killer
in our area.Copy !req
326. Do you know what this word means?Copy !req
327. Felidae?Copy !req
328. As far as I know, it's the scientific
umbrella term for our species,Copy !req
329. the feline species.Copy !req
330. Felidae.Copy !req
331. Evolution has produced
a staggering multitude of creatures.Copy !req
332. But none commands more respect
and admiration than the felidae.Copy !req
333. But what does your list comprise, Pascal?Copy !req
334. All inhabitants of our territory, name,
age, sex, breed, and so on.Copy !req
335. That reminds me. I have to enter you, too.Copy !req
336. - Interesting.
- Isn't it?Copy !req
337. Particularly, if it can help
to solve a murder case.Copy !req
338. Did you know that all the victims
at the time of...Copy !req
339. Yes.Copy !req
340. They were all after some female in heat.Copy !req
341. - I... I have an idea.
- Yes?Copy !req
342. Tell the computer to find out the breed
of the murder victims.Copy !req
343. Mh-hm. Compliment.Copy !req
344. Neither of the five was a particularly
genteel representative of felidae.Copy !req
345. How odd. All victims are male,
in heat, and European shorthair.Copy !req
346. No, not all of them.Copy !req
347. I haven't had the time
to enter the sixth victim yet.Copy !req
348. Who's the sixth victim?Copy !req
349. Felicity?Copy !req
350. Yep. I'm afraid Felicity also.Copy !req
351. No, Pascal, that's impossible.
I talked to her only an hour ago.Copy !req
352. But I was told just before you
and Bluebeard arrived.Copy !req
353. Oh!Copy !req
354. And the way her eyes were wide open...Copy !req
355. As if she had been desperate to see,
even in the face of death.Copy !req
356. Life goes on, Francis.Copy !req
357. Where did you get that bullshit from?
From the one book you've read?Copy !req
358. Just saying.Copy !req
359. Whoever has Felicity on their conscience...Copy !req
360. will have to pay for it.Copy !req
361. Do you hear me, neck biter?
You will pay for this.Copy !req
362. We'll get you, shithead.Copy !req
363. No matter what Pascal says,Copy !req
364. Felicity had to die
because she was a witness.Copy !req
365. We have been shadowed all this time.Copy !req
366. The murderer is not a madman gone wild.Copy !req
367. He is cold as ice and follows a plan.Copy !req
368. Francis!Copy !req
369. The solution to the riddle
is really very simple.Copy !req
370. Felidae.Copy !req
371. Evolution has produced an
astonishing variety of living creatures.Copy !req
372. But none compel more respect
and admiration than the Felidae.Copy !req
373. Don't forget the case of Claudandus.
He is the key!Copy !req
374. And hop... hop... hop!Copy !req
375. Hop... hop... hop!Copy !req
376. And hop! Hop! Hop!Copy !req
377. And hop, hop, hop!Copy !req
378. Experiments on plant hybrids!
Experiments on plant hybrids!Copy !req
379. Experiments on plant hybrids!Copy !req
380. Hey, you. Did you sleep well?Copy !req
381. If only I were a cat. Eat...Copy !req
382. sleep...Copy !req
383. eat, sleep, yes...Copy !req
384. Great minds have little hobbies
in order to unwind from their brain work.Copy !req
385. I did what I always do when I need a clear
head and a distraction from the stress.Copy !req
386. Hunt rats!Copy !req
387. There they were! Always busy!
Always funny! Always sociable!Copy !req
388. Patiently waiting
for day X of their takeover.Copy !req
389. The laboratory is a dream.Copy !req
390. Pharmarox has spared no expense.Copy !req
391. My assistants are Ziebold and Gray.Copy !req
392. I know that my tissue adhesive
will revolutionize medicine.Copy !req
393. The first attempt failed.Copy !req
394. Instead of sticking, the mixture
completely corroded the flesh.Copy !req
395. I need to reduce the concentration of...Copy !req
396. maleic acid.Copy !req
397. It is simply contrary to logic.Copy !req
398. Just this morning, this handsome
lad came running up to me.Copy !req
399. He is now our mascot.Copy !req
400. I'll start a new attempt immediately.Copy !req
401. I fear the nameless stray
will have to bite the dust.Copy !req
402. A miracle happened. It worked right away!Copy !req
403. The young stray has probably provenCopy !req
404. an invaluable service to science.Copy !req
405. He will be known
as Claudandus throughout histor-Copy !req
406. We had to take apart Claudandus again.Copy !req
407. Some factor in his gene structure ensuresCopy !req
408. that his body absorbs the soup
without any problems.Copy !req
409. He is a... mutation.Copy !req
410. They have reduced our funding.Copy !req
411. But I am Professor Preterius!Copy !req
412. Lack of animals for the experiments?Copy !req
413. Not a problem.Copy !req
414. Yes, just go, Mr. Ziebold!Copy !req
415. Sacrifice! Science requires sacrifice!Copy !req
416. Thanks to my sophisticated
breeding program,Copy !req
417. some of the females have provided supply.Copy !req
418. Are you still able
to produce offspring, Claudandus?Copy !req
419. What I have in mind
has never existed before.Copy !req
420. A unique breed of cats.Copy !req
421. A super breed!Copy !req
422. Yes, Claudandus spoke with me!
Fascinating, is it not?Copy !req
423. This animal has absolutely
no sense of humor.Copy !req
424. Didn't he say...Copy !req
425. I should let him out of the cageCopy !req
426. and prepare to fight him?Copy !req
427. Was that it? I must save Claudandus!Copy !req
428. Didn't I promise you that we'd
still have a conversation in private?Copy !req
429. What do you want to talk to me about?
About silent stalking?Copy !req
430. This is really funny. Come on.Copy !req
431. Don't you think we should
attend to serious matters?Copy !req
432. Oh yeah, yeah, you've grasped it, brother.Copy !req
433. A monster is going around.
Won't you help me look for this madman?Copy !req
434. You don't need to look for him any more.Copy !req
435. You? And why do you kill?Copy !req
436. Well, why?Copy !req
437. Well, because those guys
were all pretty brazen.Copy !req
438. You're a real son of a bitch,
but your motive doesn't sound convinced.Copy !req
439. Oh, you'll soon realise
how convincing I am.Copy !req
440. Is that fair?Copy !req
441. No.Copy !req
442. Leave him to me!Copy !req
443. Faster!Copy !req
444. Yeah!Copy !req
445. Ha, I've got you.Copy !req
446. Huah!Copy !req
447. No, not that!Copy !req
448. The little one ran out of breath.Copy !req
449. Probably sucked
on too much bad quality kibble.Copy !req
450. Yes, I ran out of breath.Copy !req
451. But apparently I'm not the only one.Copy !req
452. What are you prattling on about?Copy !req
453. Solitaire! Oh, Solitaire!Copy !req
454. What have they done to you?
My God, what have they done to you?Copy !req
455. My poor, poor Solitaire!Copy !req
456. Who was she?Copy !req
457. Solitaire was the boss' favorite doll.Copy !req
458. And that which was in her
was probably from him too.Copy !req
459. I'll kill him!
I'll make mincemeat out of him!Copy !req
460. I'll tear his balls off
and stuff them in his mouth!Copy !req
461. I, I, I...Copy !req
462. What heartless creature was it?Copy !req
463. Who? Who? Dammit!Copy !req
464. You... you didn't do it.
The time was too short.Copy !req
465. But who then? Who did this?Copy !req
466. Curse you!Copy !req
467. You rascal!Copy !req
468. He was back there.Copy !req
469. Any idea where the waddler
disappeared to, smartass?Copy !req
470. In this lousy weather, I don't even
remember where my home is.Copy !req
471. He must have kept running, Boss.Copy !req
472. But there's only three more gardens,
then it's the end of the line.Copy !req
473. - Then we'll grab him.
- Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
474. Yeah! Let's go!Copy !req
475. I'd had enough of this nightmare.Copy !req
476. The murder of Kong's beloved Solitaire
had quashed my theoriesCopy !req
477. about the murders at a single blow.Copy !req
478. And now, I was stuck,
who knows how deep, in this hell hole!Copy !req
479. Oof.Copy !req
480. I've been wondering where you were.Copy !req
481. - Shit, I'm too old for slides!
- Shh! Not so loud.Copy !req
482. Not so loud? Not so loud?Copy !req
483. I heard Kong wailing
like a muezzin in delirium,Copy !req
484. saw the poor Solitaire,
and followed you over the walls.Copy !req
485. Where are we?Copy !req
486. - No idea.
- Mh-hm.Copy !req
487. Catacombs.Copy !req
488. Not so loud.Copy !req
489. Oh, shit! A mass grave!Copy !req
490. - A Goddamn...
- Do you smell it?Copy !req
491. Yes. Disgusting!Copy !req
492. The stench of decay.Copy !req
493. Kong was right. The waddler is the killer.Copy !req
494. But I see neither Sascha,
nor Deep Purple, or Feli...Copy !req
495. Hm-mh. He-he.Copy !req
496. Do no harm to the Guardian of the Dead.Copy !req
497. Certainly, the Guardian of the Dead
has broken the sacred rule.Copy !req
498. For this he will have to pay bitterly.Copy !req
499. Do you always have an early mass
before you go at someone's neck?Copy !req
500. What's your name, my friend?Copy !req
501. They call me Jesaja.Copy !req
502. Is all this your doing?Copy !req
503. I mean, all those carcasses. Did you
kill and then transport them here?Copy !req
504. Oh, no, stranger. The dead come to me.Copy !req
505. They are sent by the Prophet.Copy !req
506. If you ask me, he's an ordinary nutcase.Copy !req
507. Where are you from, Jesaja?Copy !req
508. And how on earth did you come
to be in this terrible place?Copy !req
509. Once there was the land of dreams
where I was born.Copy !req
510. In the land of dreams,
the Prophet was doing his work.Copy !req
511. He finally brought us salvation.Copy !req
512. God heard the pleading of the Prophet.Copy !req
513. And when the bright day exploded,
the land of dreams also exploded,Copy !req
514. and the tormented fled
panic-stricken in all directions.Copy !req
515. What happened to the Prophet?Copy !req
516. He ascended to heaven.
Father Joker told me.Copy !req
517. - Joker? The leader of the Claudandus sect?
- Mh-hm.Copy !req
518. He had called this temple
his home since time immemorial.Copy !req
519. And he carried me here
and cared for me from then on.Copy !req
520. But then he left me
to proclaim the word of the Prophet.Copy !req
521. And how did Father Joker justify
this pretty bone collection here?Copy !req
522. Oh, no. As Father Joker
and I lived here together,Copy !req
523. the dead had not yet dwelt among us.Copy !req
524. One day, however,
after Father Joker had gone,Copy !req
525. I heard a rumbling in one of the shafts.Copy !req
526. When I arrived at the exit hole,
I saw a dead sister flying from it.Copy !req
527. And suddenly,
I heard the voice of the Lord.Copy !req
528. And what did His voice say?Copy !req
529. That I had been chosenCopy !req
530. to take up the service
of the Guardian of the Dead.Copy !req
531. But now everything has changed.Copy !req
532. The Prophet no longer speaks with me,Copy !req
533. nor does he send any dead
to the realm of the dead.Copy !req
534. He has forgotten me.Copy !req
535. So you were up there tonightCopy !req
536. in order to personally keep a lookout
for the dead, right?Copy !req
537. Have you noticed anything
particular about the dead?Copy !req
538. I mean, were there, for instance,
some cats in heat amongst them?Copy !req
539. That was the case, brother.Copy !req
540. But strangely disfigured folks
also came down to the temple.Copy !req
541. - And pregnant ones?
- Many.Copy !req
542. Oh, so many, brother.Copy !req
543. Cod without breadcrumbs. Cooked cod.Copy !req
544. Cod lightly fried.Copy !req
545. Cod in mayonnaise...Copy !req
546. Cod! Don't you understand
what we've just heard?Copy !req
547. Mayonnaise...Copy !req
548. We're not bemoaning seven
murder victims, but hundreds.Copy !req
549. The killing spree goes back many years.Copy !req
550. Probably until the closure
of the laboratory.Copy !req
551. Indeed.Copy !req
552. Earlier in the mortuary temple,
you asked a very wise question.Copy !req
553. Which was?Copy !req
554. Why were the bodies of Sasha,
Deep Purple, Solitaire and...Copy !req
555. Felicitas not in the temple?Copy !req
556. Perhaps the murderer feels like me.Copy !req
557. Because I'm growing tired of this.Copy !req
558. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I long for cod!Copy !req
559. "I'm hungry, I'm tired, I long for cod!"
Cod, my God!Copy !req
560. Old Joker is the only one who knows
something about the Prophet Claudandus.Copy !req
561. The guy who operates
this electroshock cult, of all people!Copy !req
562. What did you say back then?
It was a pastime, a thrill?Copy !req
563. Something like that.Copy !req
564. Sometimes it seems to meCopy !req
565. as if all the fuss about this sect
served a specific purpose.Copy !req
566. As if it were a preparation for
something really special, unimaginable!Copy !req
567. Such as cod, for instance?Copy !req
568. At last, I have found you!Copy !req
569. Of course, dear Francis.Copy !req
570. I am the Prophet,
I am the man and the beast,Copy !req
571. and I am Felidae!Copy !req
572. Come with us, Francis.Copy !req
573. Everything that ever was and will be
no longer has any meaning, Francis.Copy !req
574. - Come with us.
- Come.Copy !req
575. You'll find something better
than death anywhere!Copy !req
576. Come with us on the long,
wonderful journey.Copy !req
577. - And what will we find?
- Everything we have lost, Francis.Copy !req
578. Who are you? Which breed do you belong to?Copy !req
579. Breed! What an antiquated
and isolating term.Copy !req
580. I don't belong to any breed.
Your lover is the way she is.Copy !req
581. - You mean your breed is new?
- Not new, but old.Copy !req
582. Or better said, old and new...
and different.Copy !req
583. - Figure it out for yourself, Francis.
- How do you know my name?Copy !req
584. A little bird twittered it to me.Copy !req
585. And what's your name?Copy !req
586. My name wouldn't mean much to you.
But don't worry about it.Copy !req
587. Everything will become clear one day...Copy !req
588. and all will end well.Copy !req
589. Trust me...Copy !req
590. Mhm. Do I at least know the girl?Copy !req
591. Yeah, I hope you know her.Copy !req
592. Because she could bring us a little
closer to the resolution of the case.Copy !req
593. Case? Resolution?Copy !req
594. Don't tell me you're still interested.Copy !req
595. Judging by your unbearable odor,Copy !req
596. were you plugging all day?Copy !req
597. My God!Copy !req
598. Yes, yes, you're right, old friend.Copy !req
599. Let's work. First of all,
where is Joker right now?Copy !req
600. He's probably sitting at home,
preparing for his next Bible class.Copy !req
601. - Where's his home?
- Quite far away from the district.Copy !req
602. His can opener has a shop
for porcelain and precious glass.Copy !req
603. Okay, I'm going to pay a visit
to Pascal in a moment.Copy !req
604. In the meantime, you'll march
over to Joker and tell himCopy !req
605. that I and Pascal
wish to speak to him about the murders.Copy !req
606. Do you really think
old Joker is the killer?Copy !req
607. Don't forget what we learned from Jesaja.Copy !req
608. Joker is deeply, and I mean very deeply,
involved in this.Copy !req
609. The question is, can I unmask him?Copy !req
610. Um, before I forget,Copy !req
611. I have made the
acquaintance of a lady this morningCopy !req
612. whose breed is completely alien to me.Copy !req
613. Sand-colored coat, glowing yellow eyes...Copy !req
614. - I know that bunch.
- Are there so many of them?Copy !req
615. Shit, yeah! Seems to be a breed
that's in particularly great demand.Copy !req
616. This whole area is full
of those pompous asses.Copy !req
617. But with this breed, the can openers
are pissing themselves.Copy !req
618. - What do you mean?
- They are not like us!Copy !req
619. Well, somehow I get the impressionCopy !req
620. that in their entire rearing
and breeding processes,Copy !req
621. domestication has fallen by the wayside.Copy !req
622. These new ones, they're wilder,Copy !req
623. more unapproachable, more dangerous even.Copy !req
624. - Like predators?
- Yeah.Copy !req
625. Phew. My compliment.Copy !req
626. I've lived in this area for years,
Francis, and never noticed a fractionCopy !req
627. of all the horrific things
you've found out so quickly. Hats off.Copy !req
628. Have you saved conspecifics who suddenly
left the district for whatever reason?Copy !req
629. - Of course.
- So we can check with this listCopy !req
630. how many have disappeared for no
apparent reason, and when exactly?Copy !req
631. - Mh-hm.
- Why did the murderer no longer entrustCopy !req
632. his last seven victims to Jesaja,
the Guardian of the Dead?Copy !req
633. That's an important point, Francis.Copy !req
634. Because it's a sign that our
friend is beginning to make mistakes.Copy !req
635. I can't imagine that such a wunderkind
of horror makes even a single mistake.Copy !req
636. Perhaps he wants to point us at something.Copy !req
637. - That's good!
- No, not at all.Copy !req
638. We have no idea
what he wants us to notice.Copy !req
639. Him and his work.Copy !req
640. Baloney. The average intelligence of
the area's residents is so shamefully lowCopy !req
641. that no one could possibly
comprehend his subtle signs.Copy !req
642. Well then, what if he only wantsCopy !req
643. to draw the attention of one particular
conspecific to his life's work?Copy !req
644. - That is good!
- Why?Copy !req
645. Because for the first time you
speak of a life's work, Francis.Copy !req
646. Don't you get it? He deliberately
sets out to be seen through!Copy !req
647. The guy's very strange.
He's like a riddle... no.Copy !req
648. He is the riddle, and he's just
waiting for someone to solve it.Copy !req
649. Hm?Copy !req
650. Hm. Either Joker was in a hurry
or he has a stomach problem.Copy !req
651. Mh-hm.Copy !req
652. Joker. For me, a prime suspect.Copy !req
653. Could be right.Copy !req
654. He witnessed the drama in Preterius'
laboratory and saw his chanceCopy !req
655. to build a martyr religion
around Claudandus' suffering.Copy !req
656. That's possible.Copy !req
657. Tell me more about the
lady you met earlier today.Copy !req
658. - Well, she wasn't like the others.
- Professor Preterius' killer breed?Copy !req
659. Why not?Copy !req
660. Mh. Unlikely. You're forgetting evolution.Copy !req
661. A new breed can also arise by coincidence.Copy !req
662. I see. Mh-hm.Copy !req
663. You think that my wild lady and her fellow
kind are the product of natural selection?Copy !req
664. - Well, you're right as always, Pascal.
- Don't be so modest, Francis.Copy !req
665. You are the true smartass.Copy !req
666. May I say something too?Copy !req
667. - Where's Joker?
- Not there. Disappeared.Copy !req
668. What do you mean, "disappeared"?Copy !req
669. "Disappeared" means disappeared.Copy !req
670. Would you like a snack
before you continue with your report?Copy !req
671. My owner Ziebold has prepared fresh liver.Copy !req
672. - Fresh liver!
- Get to the point, Bluebeard!Copy !req
673. That Joker guy
lives in a horror house.Copy !req
674. I searched from the bottom to the top
but found nothing.Copy !req
675. - Joker was murdered...
- No, he disappeared.Copy !req
676. He knew you were close
to catching him and took off.Copy !req
677. No, no! I refuse to accept
such a cheap solution.Copy !req
678. Calm down. Tomorrow, we'll get down
to work and draw up a listCopy !req
679. of possible survivors from
the laboratory of Professor Preterius.Copy !req
680. You better watch your ass, smartass.Copy !req
681. What do you mean?Copy !req
682. The neck biter will want to wreak
great vengeance on the oneCopy !req
683. who rained on his parade. Shit, yeah!Copy !req
684. True. Pascal is in danger, too.
He also knows too much.Copy !req
685. According to what you found out,Copy !req
686. the killer only attacks those
who want to improve themselves sexually.Copy !req
687. But good old Pascal is neutered.Copy !req
688. And besides, well,
he be a goner soon, anyway.Copy !req
689. - Why?
- He has cancer.Copy !req
690. Colon cancer, I think.Copy !req
691. The doctor only gave him
a little longer than half a year.Copy !req
692. Dear friends!Copy !req
693. Thank you for accepting
our invitation in such great numbers.Copy !req
694. I hope you'll deliver, godfather.
If not, someone'll have to sufferCopy !req
695. because I'm missing
my favorite movie on TV.Copy !req
696. - Kong, you stupid rhino.
- Hm?Copy !req
697. If you had just a shred of decency,Copy !req
698. you would at least pretend
to be mourning your Solitaire!Copy !req
699. I'll catch that neck biter
sooner or later anyway.Copy !req
700. You won't catch anyone at all, you fool.Copy !req
701. Do you think this guy will someday knock
on your door and apologize to you?Copy !req
702. - Aren't we allowed to crack a joke?
- Kong!Copy !req
703. The problem is that our murdering
friend doesn't have a sense of humor.Copy !req
704. Francis and I have been
doing computer work.Copy !req
705. We can now assume with certainty that the
murderer doesn't have seven of us,Copy !req
706. but a whopping 450 on his conscience.Copy !req
707. These murders, these murders
are most likely connectedCopy !req
708. to the gruesome secrets
of Professor Preterius' laboratory.Copy !req
709. Crimes which some of you fell victim to
without remembering it today.Copy !req
710. That's enough!Copy !req
711. What did you think about why some of us
wander around like a total wreck?Copy !req
712. Take a chill pill
and let the smartass talk.Copy !req
713. Maybe he'll present us with the murderer.Copy !req
714. I'm afraid I can't serve you
with the murderer as of yet.Copy !req
715. But perhaps with the truth.Copy !req
716. A large number of you, dear friends,
worship dead ClaudandusCopy !req
717. who, as you now know,Copy !req
718. had to suffer the worst torment
in Professor Preterius' torture lab...Copy !req
719. He didn't die!Copy !req
720. Aha. What do you know about Claudandus?Copy !req
721. Why do you think
he didn't die at the time?Copy !req
722. Because great-grandfather
told me about it.Copy !req
723. - And who is your great-grandfather?
- Father Joker.Copy !req
724. He told me that in the end,Copy !req
725. Claudandus challenged the monster
to a fight and killed him.Copy !req
726. Dear friends. The only one
who knows what Claudandus looks likeCopy !req
727. and who could lead us to him is Joker.Copy !req
728. - But Joker is dead.
- Disappeared!Copy !req
729. If you ask me, Joker has assumed
the identity of the Prophet.Copy !req
730. Claudandus is dead.Copy !req
731. No one would've survived such torture.
But Joker is alive and on the run!Copy !req
732. Thanks to brother Francis,
his sinister plans were thwarted.Copy !req
733. I already told you that I searched
Joker's place from the bottom to the top!Copy !req
734. Exactly. From bottom to top!Copy !req
735. Huh?Copy !req
736. You had no way of looking
at the shelves from above.Copy !req
737. Hm.Copy !req
738. And now what?Copy !req
739. Well then, we do it the hard way.Copy !req
740. Mh?Copy !req
741. Oh dear, oh dear.Copy !req
742. Oh!Copy !req
743. My God! It had been an execution.Copy !req
744. And Joker had agreed to it.Copy !req
745. But what was the incredibly
important thing at stakeCopy !req
746. that Joker was willing
to let himself be sacrificed for it?Copy !req
747. Claudandus! He had survived.Copy !req
748. Now that Joker's dead,
we don't have a prime suspect anymore.Copy !req
749. Right. The whole thing is as inscrutable
as ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.Copy !req
750. Meow!Copy !req
751. Bluebeard, I just had an insane idea.Copy !req
752. Insane. With that word you could
often describe your state of mind.Copy !req
753. Genetics.Copy !req
754. Genetics.Copy !req
755. "The laws of inheritance
were first discoveredCopy !req
756. by the Jesuit priest
Gregor Johann Mendel."Copy !req
757. - We're being bred back!
- We're being what?Copy !req
758. I'm so stupid. Why did I never ask myselfCopy !req
759. which female the murder victims
wanted to mate with?Copy !req
760. I should've listened to my dreams
in the first place.Copy !req
761. My first nightmare. The man without
a face was, of course, Preterius!Copy !req
762. Earwitness Felicitas' crucial words:Copy !req
763. But I didn't catch any specifics.Copy !req
764. But the tone of his voice was very...
emphatic. Heavy with meaning.Copy !req
765. As if he wanted to convince
them of something.Copy !req
766. The murderer is no madman running amok!Copy !req
767. He wanted to persuade
the poor Sashas and PurplesCopy !req
768. to stop mating with my hot terrace lady
or her fellow females.Copy !req
769. How did she describe herself?
"We are not new, but old!"Copy !req
770. You mean the new guys in the district?
The super bunch?Copy !req
771. That's the ones.Copy !req
772. - There. Look at that.
- What? Is that her?Copy !req
773. No. It's the motif.Copy !req
774. We are being bred back
to our original form.Copy !req
775. To the wild, proud Felidae!Copy !req
776. "Gregor Johann Mendel
and his theory of genetics.Copy !req
777. Major work:
Experiments on plant hybrids..."Copy !req
778. Experiments on plant hybrids!Copy !req
779. And who reveres Gregor Johann Mendel
and has his portrait hanging in his study?Copy !req
780. Who was Preterius' assistant
in the laboratory?Copy !req
781. - Well, who?
- Ziebold!Copy !req
782. - Who the hell is Ziebold?
- Fresh liver! Ring any bells?Copy !req
783. - Fresh liver... let me think.
- No time to think. Come on!Copy !req
784. Okay, you take this entrance.Copy !req
785. I'll go up the tree
directly into the study.Copy !req
786. Psss, aah.Copy !req
787. Bluebeard was here.Copy !req
788. The code word, dammit!Copy !req
789. Argh!Copy !req
790. Come on, come on, think!
Think! The damn code word!Copy !req
791. "Number 287, Pasha,Copy !req
792. on June 18,1986 around 12:30am,Copy !req
793. tried to mate with Traglyahn.Copy !req
794. All powers of persuasion in vain."Copy !req
795. Now I understood.Copy !req
796. He had to make sure that the female
selected for breeding purposesCopy !req
797. had to meet with the appropriate male.Copy !req
798. And if a stranger wanted
to stick his oar in, well, then...Copy !req
799. Do you know everything now,
dear Francis?Copy !req
800. Yes, Claudandus. There are only
a few more gaps in my knowledge.Copy !req
801. Perhaps you'd like to fill them in.Copy !req
802. I'll tell you a story of humans
and animals.Copy !req
803. A true story. Yes, I am Claudandus.Copy !req
804. I was in that lab, I survived the torture.Copy !req
805. When Preterius finally went crackers,
I spoke to him!Copy !req
806. - You spoke with him?
- Yes. And he let me out of the cage.Copy !req
807. And I sunk my fangs deep into his throat.Copy !req
808. After that, Ziebold found me.Copy !req
809. Through him, I learned
the Mendelian theory of genetics,Copy !req
810. and all of a sudden, I knew how I could
turn the wheels of history back again.Copy !req
811. My only help was Joker.Copy !req
812. He was in charge
of spreading the ideology,Copy !req
813. and I dealt with the scientific side
of the project.Copy !req
814. After the first breeding successes,
the program expanded rapidly.Copy !req
815. I had to kill, Francis. I had to.Copy !req
816. To preserve the racial purity
of my original Felidae.Copy !req
817. I will die soon.
That's why I lured you onto my scentCopy !req
818. so that you'll become my successor.Copy !req
819. The leader of this wonderful,
mighty Felidae!Copy !req
820. - And why did Joker have to bite the dust?
- I had no other choice.Copy !req
821. He would have given the show away
if bullied.Copy !req
822. Now I really do know everything.
But I wish I had never learned it.Copy !req
823. Oh no, Francis...Copy !req
824. You live your ordinary little day,Copy !req
825. and at night you sleep your carefree,
ordinary little sleepCopy !req
826. full of peaceful, stupid dreams.
And I...Copy !req
827. gave you nightmares. Didn't I?Copy !req
828. The world is hell, Francis!Copy !req
829. And the culmination of all this
ugliness of the universe is man!Copy !req
830. I tell you, my friend,
we're cut from the same cloth.Copy !req
831. You are the true human being!
You think like them, you act like them!Copy !req
832. Tell me, what role do you intend
for the other animal species?Copy !req
833. None at all.Copy !req
834. They're stupid
and give themselves up to fate.Copy !req
835. But there are good people,Copy !req
836. Pascal or Claudandus or Felidae
or whoever you may be.Copy !req
837. No, no, no! There are no good people!Copy !req
838. They're all the same!Copy !req
839. Animals are good human beings,
and human beings are evil animals.Copy !req
840. I will fight you any way I can!Copy !req
841. And I'll start by deleting
this unspeakable program.Copy !req
842. I'm sorry.Copy !req
843. You have no idea
just how sorry I am, Francis.Copy !req
844. So much darkness in the world, Francis.Copy !req
845. So much darkness.Copy !req
846. I became evil, Francis.Copy !req
847. But at one point, I, too, was...Copy !req
848. good.Copy !req
849. Bluebeard!Copy !req
850. He had lost his innocence...Copy !req
851. Bluebeard...Copy !req
852. just like the humans.Copy !req
853. Even murderers die,
and with them the mysterious storiesCopy !req
854. that have kept us in suspense for a while.Copy !req
855. And so, it's farewell
from your loyal little FrancisCopy !req
856. and a heartfelt salute
to all the smart asses of the world.Copy !req
857. Don't give up believing in a worldCopy !req
858. where animals and humans
can live together in harmony.Copy !req
859. Of course, including smarter species
than the last-mentioned.Copy !req
860. For instance, Felidae!Copy !req