1. [HUNTER S.
The thing that astounded meCopy !req
2. when I first saw Aspen was that
we had so much room here.Copy !req
3. It was an individual utopia.Copy !req
4. You could dance to the music
of your own cash registerCopy !req
5. and then go off to a concertCopy !req
6. while your daughter sat
on a rock in the riverCopy !req
7. listening to a famous painter
talk about art.Copy !req
8. It's a lifestyle. It's freedom.Copy !req
9. It's freedom of expression,
freedom of thoughtCopy !req
10. that we're really fighting for.Copy !req
11. By the end of the '60sCopy !req
12. Aspen had become
a corporate utopia.Copy !req
13. A valley of the idle rich.Copy !req
14. As the new money poured inCopy !req
15. they didn't want dirty hippies
moving into AspenCopy !req
16. and frightening away
the big spenders.Copy !req
17. They are raiding our forest.Copy !req
18. They're living like animals.Copy !req
19. Mescaline, marijuana...Copy !req
20. My good God, this isn't the way
of American life!Copy !req
21. These freaks will
be thrown in jail!Copy !req
22. They add nothing to the valley
and take much.Copy !req
23. It's in
the greedhead's interestCopy !req
24. to grind up the valley
and sell it for gravel.Copy !req
25. But it's not in my interest.Copy !req
26. I'd come to Aspen
to escape politicsCopy !req
27. but the bastards
had gone too farCopy !req
28. and so we decided to do
something about it.Copy !req
29. The next sheriff
of Pitkin County!Copy !req
30. Quiet, everybody,
results are coming in.Copy !req
31. Precinct one...Copy !req
32. None of us
had even a beginner's knowledgeCopy !req
33. of how to run
a political campaign.Copy !req
34. We were like a bunch of
wild-eyed amateur mechanicsCopy !req
35. rolling a homemade racing car
onto the trackCopy !req
36. in Indianapolis.Copy !req
37. Hunter 182.Copy !req
38. We just won the DMS, man!Copy !req
39. How did I feel?Copy !req
40. Like a man who had started
some kind of bloody gang fightCopy !req
41. by accident.Copy !req
42. But when the going gets weird...Copy !req
43. the weird turn pro.Copy !req
44. Peace now!Copy !req
45. My fellow Americans,
share with me todayCopy !req
46. the majesty of this moment.Copy !req
47. They kept saying,
"Break it up, break it upCopy !req
48. go back to your dorms"Copy !req
49. and then
they all started marching.Copy !req
50. Walking towards us
with their bayonetsCopy !req
51. and from there,
it was just chaos.Copy !req
52. The guard panickedCopy !req
53. and fired its weapons
indiscriminatelyCopy !req
54. killing four people.Copy !req
55. Lord, we thank you for this fish
and this bountyCopy !req
56. that we are about to receive.Copy !req
57. And, uh, Juan and Hunter
for catching the fish.Copy !req
58. Mm-hm.Copy !req
59. Good job, Juan.
- Good job, Juan.Copy !req
60. Did you have fun?Copy !req
61. We had fun. We saw some racoons.Copy !req
62. What else did we see?
- Deer.Copy !req
63. Deer. Too bad
we didn't have our gunCopy !req
64. and we were fishing, right?Copy !req
65. What would we have done
to those deer?Copy !req
66. Killed them.Copy !req
67. Yeah!Copy !req
68. I don't want deer to die.Copy !req
69. They're meat, but...Copy !req
70. they're animals too.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
71. They're humans,
except in their habitat.Copy !req
72. I don't understand your logic.
Continue—Copy !req
73. They're humans, to them.Copy !req
74. We're deer to them.Copy !req
75. That is a good point, I like it.Copy !req
76. You wouldn't want
to kill a nature.Copy !req
77. Yeah, but you will cos otherwise
you'll starve to death.Copy !req
78. That's true.
- I'll bury youCopy !req
79. out there in the woods.Copy !req
80. Can we go back
to Fran Sancisco?Copy !req
81. Juan...Copy !req
82. this is the most important
piece of adviceCopy !req
83. I'm ever gonna give you, OK?Copy !req
84. You looking at me, right there,
in the eyes?Copy !req
85. Never move to a big city.Copy !req
86. They won't let you take a shit
in your own back yard.Copy !req
87. Juan uses the potty, right?Copy !req
88. Yeah, I shit in the potty.Copy !req
89. Juan with the zinger!Copy !req
90. "Lacks narrative structureCopy !req
91. needs more personal
involvement."Copy !req
92. I guess they want me to become
a goddamn parody of myself!Copy !req
93. Are you OK? What happened?Copy !req
94. I just threw up.Copy !req
95. Well, I pulled out.Copy !req
96. Every single time.Copy !req
97. It must be the fish.Copy !req
98. The fish looked good physically.
- Shut up!Copy !req
99. I'm gonna go down there
tomorrow and...Copy !req
100. do an investigation.Copy !req
101. Somewhere
in the nightmare of failureCopy !req
102. that is gripping AmericaCopy !req
103. the notion of beating
the system, by fighting itCopy !req
104. gave way to the numb convictionCopy !req
105. that it made more sense
in the long run, to fleeCopy !req
106. or to hideCopy !req
107. than to fight the bastardsCopy !req
108. on anything vaguely resembling
their own terms.Copy !req
109. We are turning into a nation
of whimpering slaves to fear.Copy !req
110. Fear of war, fear of poverty
and fear of reign of terrorism.Copy !req
111. Fear of getting downsized
or firedCopy !req
112. because of the plunging
economy.Copy !req
113. Fear of getting evicted
for bad debtsCopy !req
114. or suddenly getting locked up
in a military detention campCopy !req
115. on vague charges
of being a sympathiser.Copy !req
116. Hey! Your cows are fucking
shitting all over my propertyCopy !req
117. eating my lettuce.Copy !req
118. It's open range!Copy !req
119. Open range?Copy !req
120. Want to keep my cows off
your lawn, then build a fence!Copy !req
121. Hey! I'm talking to you.Copy !req
122. You hear me? Yeah!Copy !req
123. What will our tourists sayCopy !req
124. when they hear of the news
about Aspen?Copy !req
125. This city
has gained the reputationCopy !req
126. of being the hippie capital
of the world.Copy !req
127. The smell of marijuana
on our street cornersCopy !req
128. exhibitionists running around
our golf course nakedCopy !req
129. LSD dealers lurking
behind our schoolsCopy !req
130. I'll tell you what
they're gonna say.Copy !req
131. "Next year,
we're going to Vail."Copy !req
132. Next time you come to VailCopy !req
133. you will find new lifts
and new coursesCopy !req
134. but the same friendly skiers.Copy !req
135. So I don't think the hippies
are bad peopleCopy !req
136. but they are bad for business.Copy !req
137. I'm sorry, I have a question.Copy !req
138. Do you think of Aspen as a town
or as a commodity?Copy !req
139. If you're trying
to make me feel guiltyCopy !req
140. for promoting our beautiful townCopy !req
141. it's not gonna happen.Copy !req
142. It is moral and legal
to sell a good productCopy !req
143. and we've got
a good product here, folks.Copy !req
144. I don't think the reason
any of us moved hereCopy !req
145. was to increase the town's GDP.
- OK.Copy !req
146. - Thank you.Copy !req
147. Now I'm very interested to hear
what our sheriff has cooked upCopy !req
148. to keep the freeloadersCopy !req
149. from setting up shop
in this townCopy !req
150. and we will all be judging himCopy !req
151. come election day.Copy !req
152. We don't want a repeat
of the summer of love, do we?Copy !req
153. I don't understand—Copy !req
154. Hey!Copy !req
155. How are we supposed to judge him
if he's running unopposed?Copy !req
156. That's the last question
I'll take from Aspen Times.Copy !req
157. Right.
- Sheriff, take it away.Copy !req
158. With additional resources,
the help of my wifeCopy !req
159. and some chalk from my kidsCopy !req
160. I was able to put together
the map you see in front of you.Copy !req
161. It shows...Copy !req
162. illegal campgroundsCopy !req
163. tenement style apartments
located, here, here, hereCopy !req
164. and there.Copy !req
165. There are exactly 844 known
transients in Pitkin CountyCopy !req
166. and all but 50 are jobless.Copy !req
167. And of course, the Jerome Hotel.Copy !req
168. Everybody knows that's where
they're congregating.Copy !req
169. Most of the problems,
right here.Copy !req
170. We're getting soft, Sheriff!Copy !req
171. We're not tough
like we used to be.Copy !req
172. They're coming into our bars,
asking for free drinksCopy !req
173. contributing nothing to society.Copy !req
174. I told 'em, "We don't serve
longhairs in here."Copy !req
175. Wrap it up, Rex.Copy !req
176. So I took out Old Hickory here
and I gave 'em a two-handed—Copy !req
177. Hey, Sheriff!Copy !req
178. - Put it back, wrap it up.Copy !req
179. That's enough,
Undersheriff Ricks.Copy !req
180. Folks, I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
181. Uh, what is that smell?Copy !req
182. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
183. I submit this slag as evidenceCopy !req
184. the Pitkin Mining CorporationCopy !req
185. is sodomising our riverCopy !req
186. and I'd like to knowCopy !req
187. what our local government
is gonna do about it.Copy !req
188. Sheriff, please, this is not
on the agenda.Copy !req
189. Right, agenda.
- You need to submit itCopy !req
190. three weeks ahead of timeCopy !req
191. so we can review it.
- Right.Copy !req
192. Mine Co is not
breaking the law.Copy !req
193. Well, they're certainly
violating some typeCopy !req
194. of statute, I mean,
go up there and check around.Copy !req
195. Do your job!
- That's not reallyCopy !req
196. what a sheriff does.
- Why not?Copy !req
197. Well, we have a strict purview.Copy !req
198. This is not on the agenda.Copy !req
199. "Strict purview. Purview."Copy !req
200. Sheriff, please.
- "Purview."Copy !req
201. Mr Thompson, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.Copy !req
202. From your purview, you mean?Copy !req
203. I don't need to go anywhere.Copy !req
204. I'm here at a Town Hall Forum
exhibiting my rightsCopy !req
205. as a local...
- Undersheriff Ricks.Copy !req
206. Show this man out.Copy !req
207. Oh, you're coming to get this?
OK, come and get it.Copy !req
208. Seriously?Copy !req
209. I'll show you who runs this
fucking town, Thompson!Copy !req
210. If you're not OK
with it being dumped hereCopy !req
211. you shouldn't be OK with it
being dumpedCopy !req
212. in your fucking river. You pig!Copy !req
213. Burl, loitering, $30 fine.
30 days in jail.Copy !req
214. Man, if I knew I was blocking
the sidewalkCopy !req
215. I wouldn't have
been standing there.Copy !req
216. What'll it be?Copy !req
217. I don't have $30.Copy !req
218. Jail it is, Burl.Copy !req
219. Delmar, noise complaint.Copy !req
220. $30 fine, 30 days in jail.Copy !req
221. I was just playing the fiddle.Copy !req
222. Very noisily.Copy !req
223. That's jail, Delmar.Copy !req
224. Thompson, you made bail.Copy !req
225. Oh, yeah.
- Right.Copy !req
226. Peace, joker.
- Hey, be free.Copy !req
227. You know, I pay your
goddamn salary, Whitmire.Copy !req
228. It doesn't get dropped in
your mailbox by a stork.Copy !req
229. Well, I don't make the laws,
I just enforce them.Copy !req
230. Yeah, that worked real well
at Nuremburg.Copy !req
231. Alright, Thompson.Copy !req
232. Hey, man, your badge is a shieldCopy !req
233. because you're supposed
to shield us from harm.Copy !req
234. Alright, Thompson.Copy !req
235. So did I make the...
- Bye, Thompson.Copy !req
236. front page headline?Copy !req
237. Yeah, here's the lede.Copy !req
238. "Hunter Thompson,
'People's Champion'Copy !req
239. ruins janitor's day."Copy !req
240. How about, "Today's pig
is tomorrow's bacon"?Copy !req
241. Peggy, those swine are running
a racket in there.Copy !req
242. Yeah.Copy !req
243. You got so caught up
in national politicsCopy !req
244. you forgot it's the local stuff
that actually socks you.Copy !req
245. You should've seen the freaks
in that place.Copy !req
246. You know, locked up
for absolute bullshit.Copy !req
247. Frickin' playing a fiddle
in publicCopy !req
248. blocking the sidewalkCopy !req
249. or speaking one's mind
at a Town Hall meeting.Copy !req
250. Yeah, speaking of that Town HallCopy !req
251. if there really are 844 of those
freaks hanging around AspenCopy !req
252. we might as well
put them to use.Copy !req
253. No one's ever needed
more than 700 to winCopy !req
254. an election around here,
you have enoughCopy !req
255. to start a third party
on your hands.Copy !req
256. But those freaks can't vote,
they're drifters.Copy !req
257. Mm-mm, Colorado law.Copy !req
258. Only have to have lived here
for 30 days.Copy !req
259. Huh...Copy !req
260. This town needs an enema.Copy !req
261. Oh, no...
- Whoa.Copy !req
262. Benton, you look like you could
use an anchor rope.Copy !req
263. Oh, I have plenty of
anchor rope, my friend.Copy !req
264. Give that a try.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
265. Yes, sir.
Good to see you, Hunter.Copy !req
266. This is fucking
awful grass, man!Copy !req
267. What you're tasting, HunterCopy !req
268. is a little pipe tobacco.Copy !req
269. Pure pipe tobacco that I soaked
in some PCP...Copy !req
270. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
271. Alright, alright,
don't waste it.Copy !req
272. Don't waste it.
- I fucking justCopy !req
273. got out of jail, I'm really not
trying to trip right now.Copy !req
274. Well, you know.Copy !req
275. If you just got out of jail,
come by the studio.Copy !req
276. You hang out with the pigs,
what good...Copy !req
277. Come on, man!Copy !req
278. Mm.
- Don't hog it!Copy !req
279. OK.Copy !req
280. And two packs of Dunhill,
please.Copy !req
281. So, will you be paying cash?Copy !req
282. No, just put it on my accountCopy !req
283. as per usual.Copy !req
284. Hunter, I'm sorry, but come on.Copy !req
285. Alright, well then,
gimme the bag of Bull DurhamCopy !req
286. and the tampon.Copy !req
287. Thanks.Copy !req
288. What you doing playing
around with that thing?Copy !req
289. I'm a filmmaker.Copy !req
290. If you're a filmmakerCopy !req
291. what are you doing working
at the grocery store?Copy !req
292. Young Ed Wood?Copy !req
293. 844 known transientsCopy !req
294. in Pitkin County...Copy !req
295. Win an election around hereCopy !req
296. you have enough
to start a third party...Copy !req
297. I could be Muhammad Ali.Copy !req
298. I could be Muhammad Ali.Copy !req
299. I could be Muhammad Ali!Copy !req
300. I could be Muhammad Ali.Copy !req
301. I could be Muhammad Ali.Copy !req
302. I could be Muhammad Ali.Copy !req
303. You don't get it,
you motherfucker!Copy !req
304. I know—
- Hunter. Hunter!Copy !req
305. Where have you been?
- I was in jail.Copy !req
306. You been in jail?
Why didn't you call me?Copy !req
307. They didn't even give me
a phone call.Copy !req
308. This Whitmire motherfuckerCopy !req
309. undersheriff...Copy !req
310. Dick Nickless.Copy !req
311. The whole works.Copy !req
312. Fucked me hard.Copy !req
313. You're fucked up.Copy !req
314. - I have news.Copy !req
315. Good news.Copy !req
316. Rolling Stonecalled.Copy !req
317. What did they say?Copy !req
318. There's a plane ticket waiting
for you at the airport.Copy !req
319. You're going to San Francisco.Copy !req
320. I don't wanna
go to San Franc...Copy !req
321. cisco.Copy !req
322. I want to focus on my book.Copy !req
323. And I wanna just stay here
and work on the book.Copy !req
324. You're going to San Francisco.Copy !req
325. If you don't, Juan and I are.Copy !req
326. You wanna goCopy !req
327. to San Franc—
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
328. You look like you're bluffing.Copy !req
329. You're going.Copy !req
330. Of course I am.Copy !req
331. Hey, Hunter,
thanks for coming out.Copy !req
332. Jann? John?
- It's pronounced "Yann".Copy !req
333. Pretty sure
you already knew that.Copy !req
334. My son's name is Juan.Copy !req
335. Nice to meet you, Hann.Copy !req
336. Sit down, man, uh...
- How's it going?Copy !req
337. Thanks for bringing me out.Copy !req
338. I just read the Derby piece.Copy !req
339. Love the subjective,
first-person...Copy !req
340. crazy travelogue thing
you got going on.Copy !req
341. Yeah? You like it?Copy !req
342. What else you been working on?Copy !req
343. The last two years...Copy !req
344. working on this "Death of
American Dream" bookCopy !req
345. and I chased down the story
2,000 pages deep.Copy !req
346. I'm in ChicagoCopy !req
347. and those fucking cops,
they beat the shit out of meCopy !req
348. so bad, gave me such
a goddamn concussionCopy !req
349. that my doctor tells meCopy !req
350. I can't work on any more
long-form journalism.Copy !req
351. So, I'm writing articles.Copy !req
352. Long-form, short-form,
you can write 500 wordsCopy !req
353. you can write 5,000.
Just, uh, give me a pitch.Copy !req
354. What does Hunter Thompson
want to write?Copy !req
355. I got your pitch.Copy !req
356. Why mess with a proven formula?Copy !req
357. You could send me across
the countryCopy !req
358. spitting venomous bullshitCopy !req
359. at all things that people
love and respectCopy !req
360. and I could go to the SuperbowlCopy !req
361. Mardi Gras,
St Patrick's Day ParadeCopy !req
362. America's Cup,
the DNC ConventionCopy !req
363. maybe even Vegas.Copy !req
364. The only thing
I can guaranteeCopy !req
365. is that I'll come back
with fear and loathing.Copy !req
366. Well, um, we're not really
in the businessCopy !req
367. of sending writers out fishing
with massive expense tabsCopy !req
368. hoping they'll catch a story,
you know?Copy !req
369. Yeah.
- We just can't afford it.Copy !req
370. But if we can narrow it
down a bitCopy !req
371. to something specific...Copy !req
372. Well...Copy !req
373. Um, so you're not
into those ideas.Copy !req
374. I mean, look...Copy !req
375. what about...Copy !req
376. the weird mechanics of a hostile
takeover bid of a small town?Copy !req
377. What's your angle?Copy !req
378. My angle is that you're
looking at the nextCopy !req
379. sheriff of Pitkin County,
Colorado.Copy !req
380. Oh, who's gonna
vote for you?Copy !req
381. Who isn't gonna vote for me?Copy !req
382. All of your people are gonna
vote for me.Copy !req
383. The weirdos, the wobbliesCopy !req
384. the hippies, the heads,
the bikersCopy !req
385. potheads, progressives...Copy !req
386. most of all, the freaks.Copy !req
387. The freaks?Copy !req
388. You should see the freaks.Copy !req
389. They're everywhere
and they can vote.Copy !req
390. People forget that.Copy !req
391. Five hundred bucks
for 5,000 words.Copy !req
392. Deal.Copy !req
393. This could change everything,
no more rejection lettersCopy !req
394. and no more spec articles.Copy !req
395. I could become
a full-time columnist.Copy !req
396. It's a good idea.Copy !req
397. You were right, Sandy.Copy !req
398. You were right.Copy !req
399. How much does the sheriff make?Copy !req
400. $8,000 a year.Copy !req
401. OK, so...Copy !req
402. you'd still get to write things.Copy !req
403. Like parking tickets.
- Oh!Copy !req
404. My wife.Copy !req
405. My wife with the knife!Copy !req
406. Power is our priority.Copy !req
407. These swine must be broken,
fucked and driven from the land.Copy !req
408. Alright, so what's the plan,
Hunter?Copy !req
409. We're gonna stop
the ski pimps in their tracks.Copy !req
410. What are
we supposed to do, man?Copy !req
411. The system's rigged.Copy !req
412. We don't vote cos
there's nothing we can do.Copy !req
413. Look what happened
to Kennedy.Copy !req
414. Peggy, wake up.Copy !req
415. I'm running for sheriff.Copy !req
416. We are going to start
a third party.Copy !req
417. Oh, God, Hunter.Copy !req
418. Sounds like fun.
- Sounds like a lot of work.Copy !req
419. You're at the bar
all day already.Copy !req
420. Hey! I'm here to bail out Joker
and the rest of those freaks.Copy !req
421. You really want to start
a third partyCopy !req
422. or do you just want
to start a party?Copy !req
423. I mean, it's gonna be really funCopy !req
424. but, no, I'm dead
fucking serious.Copy !req
425. I mean, Aspen's prime
for the taking.Copy !req
426. It's true, it's a crazy plan,
Hunter.Copy !req
427. It's not a crazy plan.Copy !req
428. Joker!Copy !req
429. Here, brother!Copy !req
430. Alright, Hunter, what do you
need from me?Copy !req
431. I need you to make the posters.
Are you down?Copy !req
432. You're really sincere?Copy !req
433. I'm sincere, come on.Copy !req
434. Let's do it.Copy !req
435. Alright, if you're serious,
I'm in.Copy !req
436. You know I'm in.
- Good.Copy !req
437. Propaganda? I'm in.Copy !req
438. It's time to unite
the freak kingdom!Copy !req
439. All the decisions we make
should be recordedCopy !req
440. and available
in the public libraryCopy !req
441. for anybody to listen to,
no backroom dealing.Copy !req
442. Mike has generously
offered the barCopy !req
443. as our campaign
headquarters.Copy !req
444. And as well as using the bar
for the campaignCopy !req
445. we'll do a "Freak Power"
happy hour.Copy !req
446. Freak Power Happy Hour?
- Yeah.Copy !req
447. And we'll take 10% of that
and throw it into the war chest.Copy !req
448. Why do we need money?
- Air time.Copy !req
449. I think we can run this campaign
for free.Copy !req
450. I think that's the revolution.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
451. We need to run propaganda
that will make the fatbacksCopy !req
452. fear waking up every morning
and putting on their radio.Copy !req
453. Ah, yes.
- Yeah.Copy !req
454. And while we're
on the subjectCopy !req
455. of floggin' the nogginsCopy !req
456. when I imagine
your campaign posterCopy !req
457. I see this giant cyclops
owl with...Copy !req
458. drips coming out of its face
and talons...Copy !req
459. You know, I had a dream
the other nightCopy !req
460. and I pictured a giant
two-thumbed red fistCopy !req
461. clenching a peyote button.Copy !req
462. Ooh!Copy !req
463. OK, alright, we have two weeks
left until registration closes.Copy !req
464. We need all 844 of our peopleCopy !req
465. to be registered by October 2ndCopy !req
466. and that's not even
the hard partCopy !req
467. then we need to get them
to stick aroundCopy !req
468. until November to vote.Copy !req
469. This is the location
of all the freaks in town.Copy !req
470. We don't need anyone
to clean up to voteCopy !req
471. they can vote dirty or naked
as long as they turn up.Copy !req
472. And do it quietly,
we don't wannaCopy !req
473. scare the bougies
into a counterattack.Copy !req
474. What are you, in high school?Copy !req
475. Can't even vote till you're 21!Copy !req
476. Yeah, but maybe if Hunter winsCopy !req
477. he can get me out of going
to Vietnam.Copy !req
478. That's right, young WoodCopy !req
479. worst case scenario,
I will drive you to Canada.Copy !req
480. One of the main
things I've learned down hereCopy !req
481. is that there are all kinds
of very able peopleCopy !req
482. wandering around with no place
to use their energy.Copy !req
483. If we can put this unused
energy to workCopy !req
484. we'll have a hell of a tool
on our hands.Copy !req
485. Our movement was
a strange combinationCopy !req
486. of Woodstock vibrationsCopy !req
487. New Left activism and basic
Jeffersonian democracyCopy !req
488. with strong echoes of the
Boston Tea Party, I think.Copy !req
489. Three words:
Hunter S. Thompson.Copy !req
490. I was wondering
if I could talk to youCopy !req
491. about Hunter Thompson's run
for sheriff of Aspen?Copy !req
492. I'm Hunter S. Thompson and
I'm running for sheriff.Copy !req
493. Are you guys interested
in registering to vote?Copy !req
494. This blue line represents
the Democratic voters.Copy !req
495. We got 920 of those registered
in Pitkin CountyCopy !req
496. and then 1,102 RepublicansCopy !req
497. and as of right now,
the independentsCopy !req
498. are all the way down here
in the 700s.Copy !req
499. These Democrats, man,
they're DOA, OK?Copy !req
500. Two-party system's out.Copy !req
501. Are you guys gonna
register to vote?Copy !req
502. I don't know, man.Copy !req
503. Voting's just one of those
things that like...Copy !req
504. not everybody does, you know
what I'm saying?Copy !req
505. So we're starting a new party,
you guys interestedCopy !req
506. in registering to vote?
No?Copy !req
507. I'm running for sheriff.Copy !req
508. No, not really into it, man.Copy !req
509. You don't want to register?Copy !req
510. Not really.
- No, sorry.Copy !req
511. I'm just here for the party.Copy !req
512. Really? Alright, be
a fucking slave then.Copy !req
513. Aspen is full of freaksCopy !req
514. and weird night people
of every descriptionCopy !req
515. but most of them would prefer
jail or the bastinadoCopy !req
516. to the horror of actually
registering to vote.Copy !req
517. You got no power.
You're powerless.Copy !req
518. Alright, keep going.Copy !req
519. I got six.
- Oh...Copy !req
520. Well, I got
a grand total of...Copy !req
521. four!Copy !req
522. We got ten at the bar.Copy !req
523. I got six, which means an
average of one person an hour.Copy !req
524. What did we think?
We were gonna waveCopy !req
525. a magic wand
and get Hunter elected?Copy !req
526. We need to shock them out of
their political complacency.Copy !req
527. A savage and mind-bending
campaign with no quarter given.Copy !req
528. Our posters must torture...Copy !req
529. the outer limits
of political gall.Copy !req
530. Our platform
so massively unsuitableCopy !req
531. and yet perfectly sensibleCopy !req
532. that the good citizens
of Aspen will tryCopy !req
533. to rush us out like lepersCopy !req
534. and the most apolitical
drug childrenCopy !req
535. of the most degenerate
outer communesCopy !req
536. will come rushing
to our defence, sayingCopy !req
537. "I must vote."Copy !req
538. What we need...Copy !req
539. what we are, is free power.Copy !req
540. Free power!
- Free power, man!Copy !req
541. I think that we should ride
this wave of votesCopy !req
542. that you're gonna get
to do someCopy !req
543. creative ballot measures
alongside, y'knowCopy !req
544. put an end to this highway
they keep talking aboutCopy !req
545. or use zoning against
the greedheads for once.Copy !req
546. Generally make it harder
to buildCopy !req
547. a tar pit next to a river.Copy !req
548. You know what'd be
really greatCopy !req
549. is if we could come up
with some kindCopy !req
550. of ballot measure that actually
got the longhairs to show upCopy !req
551. and actually pay attention
to that part of the ballot.Copy !req
552. Mm.Copy !req
553. Tentative platform, 1970.Copy !req
554. We will sod the streets at onceCopy !req
555. rip up all city streets
with jackhammersCopy !req
556. and use the junk asphalt,
after meltingCopy !req
557. to create a huge parking
and auto-storage lotCopy !req
558. on the outskirts of town.Copy !req
559. We will change the name "Aspen"
by public referendum...Copy !req
560. to "Fat City"!Copy !req
561. What for?Copy !req
562. To prevent land reapers,
greedheads and human jackalsCopy !req
563. from capitalising
on the name "Aspen".Copy !req
564. Young Ed Wood over hereCopy !req
565. will now be attending
Fat City High School.Copy !req
566. Fat City liquor?Copy !req
567. Ski Fat City?Copy !req
568. Aspen, Colorado
would no longer existCopy !req
569. and the psychic alterations
of this changeCopy !req
570. would be massive
in the world of commerce.Copy !req
571. Ski Fat City.Copy !req
572. Drug sales must be controlled.Copy !req
573. My first act as sheriff
will be to installCopy !req
574. on the courthouse lawn
a bastinado platformCopy !req
575. and a set of stocksCopy !req
576. in order to punish dishonest
dope dealersCopy !req
577. in a proper public fashion.Copy !req
578. Hunter Thompson's promising
affordable housingCopy !req
579. to all locals for life.Copy !req
580. He plans on banning automobiles
from downtown.Copy !req
581. Aren't you sick of being
harassed by the police?Copy !req
582. So do something about it,
vote!Copy !req
583. If you get caught with a doobie
twice in ColoradoCopy !req
584. they can give you the
death penalty right now.Copy !req
585. Cops should never be
armed in public.Copy !req
586. By this approachCopy !req
587. making hundreds
or even thousandsCopy !req
588. of individuals
personally responsibleCopy !req
589. for protecting the animals,
fish and birdsCopy !req
590. who live hereCopy !req
591. we would create a sort of
de facto game preserveCopy !req
592. without the harsh restrictionsCopy !req
593. that will necessarily
be forced on usCopy !req
594. if these blood-thirsty geeks
keep swarming in hereCopy !req
595. each autumn to shoot
everything they see.Copy !req
596. So we can count on your vote?Copy !req
597. Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm votin' for Hunter.Copy !req
598. I'll vote for Hunter.
- Sign us up.Copy !req
599. I'm voting for Hunter Thompson.Copy !req
600. Fat City!
- Fat City.Copy !req
601. Fat City!Copy !req
602. Have you seen this?Copy !req
603. Um, yes, I have seen them.Copy !req
604. I believe it's best we just
leave them alone, it's—Copy !req
605. Take it down, Carrol.Copy !req
606. What?
- Every last poster.Copy !req
607. Take it down.Copy !req
608. Mayor, what you're seeing
in front of you hereCopy !req
609. is the freedom of speech.
- Alright, alright, get out.Copy !req
610. I can't hear it, go.
- Alright.Copy !req
611. Oh, and this is a cross-section
of peyote in the centre.Copy !req
612. Get out, Carrol!
- Alright.Copy !req
613. Uh, lower...Copy !req
614. Keep going.Copy !req
615. What are you doing?Copy !req
616. Oh, 72 of our voters
were disqualified.Copy !req
617. Did they tell you why?Copy !req
618. Some of them forgot
to write their ageCopy !req
619. some of them don't live here.Copy !req
620. Someone wrote their name in
as Teepee Bob.Copy !req
621. I don't think those are
valid reasons.Copy !req
622. OK, come with me. I think
we should go to the library.Copy !req
623. It's Freak Power Happy Hour.Copy !req
624. Yeah, we were just
gonna get drinks.Copy !req
625. Parker squatters
in the library.Copy !req
626. Who cares?Copy !req
627. It's not their place,
let's go get 'em.Copy !req
628. Show me your hands!
Hands up, eyes up!Copy !req
629. Hands!Copy !req
630. Oh, is that Thompson?Copy !req
631. Peggy?
- Oh, you've got us, Ricks.Copy !req
632. This is a library
for Aspen residents.Copy !req
633. This is not a library
for transient journalists.Copy !req
634. You're the corniest man
I've ever met.Copy !req
635. You know you can't write,
Thompson.Copy !req
636. Peggy, what are you doing here?Copy !req
637. We're researching a story,
Ricks. You want the front page?Copy !req
638. Why you hanging out with
Peggy so much, Thompson?Copy !req
639. Whole town's wondering.
- She's my campaign manager.Copy !req
640. I mean, you gonna
arrest us or what?Copy !req
641. Let me get back to fucking
reading and doing my job.Copy !req
642. If you're resisting, I will.Copy !req
643. Resisting? Come on, man.Copy !req
644. Let us get back to work,
stop wasting our time.Copy !req
645. Let's go, Deputy, cos they're
doing nothing wrongCopy !req
646. but some day, you will be
doing something wrongCopy !req
647. and I will makeCopy !req
648. a point of it.Copy !req
649. I am not fucking around.Copy !req
650. Are those uniforms
even government issue?Copy !req
651. Fuck you!Copy !req
652. If this is our competition,
I think...Copy !req
653. we can call it a night.Copy !req
654. The system has
a built-in wipe-out mechanismCopy !req
655. for dealing with
unwanted challengersCopy !req
656. political and legal roadblocksCopy !req
657. which deny innovation.Copy !req
658. This person lives in a teepee.Copy !req
659. He lives in his gosh darn car!Copy !req
660. She just came back
from college to vote.Copy !req
661. He has no drivers licence.Copy !req
662. He's a seasonal employee,
he's a ski instructor.Copy !req
663. They're just passing through,
they don't belong.Copy !req
664. But our system of governmentCopy !req
665. was in fact designed for changeCopy !req
666. and it was time we made use
of that very design.Copy !req
667. All in all, we found 72
disqualified voters.Copy !req
668. Excuse me, wait.
Excuse me, sorry, no.Copy !req
669. I'll be recording.Copy !req
670. I'd like you to take
a look at this.Copy !req
671. Yeah, as you can see hereCopy !req
672. you don't need to establish
physical residency in AspenCopy !req
673. nor do you need a valid ID.Copy !req
674. And then here...Copy !req
675. it says very clearly
that any personCopy !req
676. who files a frivolous claimCopy !req
677. against another person's
right to voteCopy !req
678. commits a misdemeanour
in the first degree.Copy !req
679. Sheriff Whitmire, it seems as if
you've just witnessedCopy !req
680. them commit, uh, ten...Copy !req
681. first-degree misdemeanours
apiece.Copy !req
682. Each of which carries
a $30 fine, or 30 days in jail.Copy !req
683. Fine, you get what you want.Copy !req
684. You can keep the 72 voters
on the rollsCopy !req
685. and we'll get on with
business as usual.Copy !req
686. No, Eve,
I can't let you do that.Copy !req
687. Folks.Copy !req
688. You will be arraigned
in two weeks from todayCopy !req
689. in front of the city magistrate,
is that understood?Copy !req
690. OK, enough!Copy !req
691. I have stood by you
all these yearsCopy !req
692. and if you think...Copy !req
693. I'm gonna sit by
and let you turn on meCopy !req
694. you've got another thing coming.Copy !req
695. This is bullshit, Carrol!Copy !req
696. Just cos it's law,
doesn't meanCopy !req
697. you have to follow it
if it's stupid!Copy !req
698. You've seen these transients
come into our town.Copy !req
699. You've seen what they've done
to our youth.Copy !req
700. You are no longer fit
to be sheriffCopy !req
701. and that is why I will resign
and run against you!Copy !req
702. What?Copy !req
703. Everybody get out
of my office.Copy !req
704. Now! Everybody out!Copy !req
705. Success!Copy !req
706. I got it all here.Copy !req
707. So, we got our 72 votes backCopy !req
708. and contrary to a lifetime
of experiences...Copy !req
709. the law might actually
be on my side.Copy !req
710. It's not just the 72.Copy !req
711. It's not just the 72, Ricks is
running against Whitmire.Copy !req
712. Those idiots have split
the entire electorate.Copy !req
713. Barring any major fuckups,
a month from nowCopy !req
714. we're gonna be running
the town of Aspen.Copy !req
715. Private property!Copy !req
716. Yeah! And don't come back!Copy !req
717. The countdown is on us.Copy !req
718. I can feel it.Copy !req
719. An iceberg of loose ends
is about to flip overCopy !req
720. and dump all these freaks
out of hidingCopy !req
721. for a national nervous breakdownCopy !req
722. with nothing sacred
and no holds barredCopy !req
723. and God's mercy on all those
left out in the open.Copy !req
724. We're trying to get together
a list of endorsementsCopy !req
725. for Hunter Thompson,
for sheriffCopy !req
726. and put it on the radio.Copy !req
727. Um, would you be up for that?Copy !req
728. Hunter Thompson is
the only candidateCopy !req
729. who has the imagination
and intelligenceCopy !req
730. to be a law enforcement
executive.Copy !req
731. Elect Hunter Thompson sheriff.Copy !req
732. If you don't want that type
of person in our government...Copy !req
733. We're a clean town
that the touristCopy !req
734. is not afraid to come to Aspen.Copy !req
735. If Hunter Thompson wins,
we're gonna have murders here!Copy !req
736. Hit it, Joker.Copy !req
737. Time is running out.Copy !req
738. The nation's freaks
are no longer willingCopy !req
739. to stand politely byCopy !req
740. incredulous at the disparity
between what could be doneCopy !req
741. and what is being done.Copy !req
742. So, why are you doing this?Copy !req
743. For the look on Whitmire's faceCopy !req
744. when I call him
my "long-haired opponent".Copy !req
745. Good as new.Copy !req
746. Thank you, Joker.Copy !req
747. Absolutely, thanks
for bailing me out.Copy !req
748. Oh, here we go. Here it is.Copy !req
749. And, uh, this is ten dollarsCopy !req
750. for you from all of us
at the hospital.Copy !req
751. I appreciate that,
every dollar counts. Thank you.Copy !req
752. You guys are doing great tonightCopy !req
753. and I have a special guest
for you.Copy !req
754. Uh, come on out.Copy !req
755. Hello, Aspen! Pitkin County.
- Undersheriff...Copy !req
756. Thank you, Eve.
- Yes.Copy !req
757. Uh, former Undersheriff Ricks
is joining us.Copy !req
758. He is running against
Carrol WhitmireCopy !req
759. for sheriff of Pitkin County.Copy !req
760. Well, thank you, Eve,
for having me this evening.Copy !req
761. I'm very excited.Copy !req
762. OK, and what does
your plan look like?Copy !req
763. Whitmire could not get
the transientCopy !req
764. long-haired hippies out of townCopy !req
765. but us blue-collar men
with our shovelsCopy !req
766. and our pickaxes, we will
promise to clean this town up.Copy !req
767. Oh.Copy !req
768. OK, let's take another call.Copy !req
769. Thank you for your support.Copy !req
770. Hey, hey! Uh...Copy !req
771. This is Buzz Screwem
down by the schoolCopy !req
772. handing out Quaaludes
to all the kiddies!Copy !req
773. I'm sorry... Oh!Copy !req
774. Another one, hello?
- That was weird.Copy !req
775. Hello, Miss Eve?Copy !req
776. Um, I found your broomstickCopy !req
777. and it reeks of Whitmire.Copy !req
778. Peggy Clifford, Aspen Times.Copy !req
779. I was wondering,
is this a fundraiserCopy !req
780. to bail out your seven friends
who were arrestedCopy !req
781. for election fraud?Copy !req
782. Is anyone screening these calls?Copy !req
783. That's that Thompson crew.Copy !req
784. This is nonsense.Copy !req
785. And I can tell you one thing,
they're not gonna stopCopy !req
786. at prank calls, they're gonna
show up at the ballot boxes.Copy !req
787. We're not gonna take it
in Aspen.Copy !req
788. We're not gonna take it
in Pitkin County.Copy !req
789. You guys need to show up
and vote.Copy !req
790. - Hello?Copy !req
791. Hallo.Copy !req
792. This is Martin Borman.Copy !req
793. Thank you for your call—
- I believe...Copy !req
794. the undersheriff plan
to form a posseCopy !req
795. is the final solutionCopy !req
796. to Aspen's hippie problem.Copy !req
797. What we need is an excuseCopy !req
798. to access the weapons
that he is stockpiling.Copy !req
799. What we need!Copy !req
800. Is a flat-out ding-dong riot!Copy !req
801. Heil, Homeyer!Copy !req
802. We're gonna cut to commercial.
Let's cut to commercial.Copy !req
803. Probably one of those hippies—
- Hey.Copy !req
804. Hunter Thompson is a moralistCopy !req
805. posing as an immoralist.Copy !req
806. - Nixon is an immoralistCopy !req
807. disguised as a moralist.Copy !req
808. - There'll be thievesCopy !req
809. and autorats in Aspen
whoever gets electedCopy !req
810. but Hunter represents
something wholly...Copy !req
811. Good job, young Wood!Copy !req
812. Young Wood on the camera!Copy !req
813. The young Wood!Copy !req
814. The only thing against him
is he's a visionaryCopy !req
815. who wants too pure a world.Copy !req
816. The preceding,
a paid political announcementCopy !req
817. by the Thompson
for Sheriff Campaign.Copy !req
818. These are
real people with real lives.Copy !req
819. If this is a joke,
you should drop out.Copy !req
820. Now, like right now.Copy !req
821. It's the best of both worlds.Copy !req
822. I write the article,
I win sheriffCopy !req
823. I mean, that's a good ending
to the story.Copy !req
824. Trust me.Copy !req
825. I do.Copy !req
826. Sort of.
- Till the wheels fall off.Copy !req
827. Are you OK?Copy !req
828. Shall we shut this party down?Copy !req
829. Hunter...Copy !req
830. you can't shut this down.Copy !req
831. You bought the ticket,
you've got to take the ride.Copy !req
832. There aren't enough freaks
to vote for me.Copy !req
833. To win, there aren't enough
of them.Copy !req
834. The freaks are anyone who isn't
making a million dollarsCopy !req
835. by selling their neighbour's
land out from under them.Copy !req
836. It's the good and respectable
folks who just wantCopy !req
837. to raise their family here
without being told what to doCopy !req
838. by a bunch of corporate suits.
- But I have...Copy !req
839. much more in common with them
than those other people.Copy !req
840. You know, I do.Copy !req
841. I mean, I'm hunting freedomCopy !req
842. fucking liberty, justice,
stay the fuck off my property.Copy !req
843. Walk into the Red Onion
and tell them exactlyCopy !req
844. what you just said to me
because what they don't realiseCopy !req
845. is that they're freaks
and if they don't get on boardCopy !req
846. their Aspen isn't gonna be
around very much longer.Copy !req
847. Alright, so we hit
the Red OnionCopy !req
848. we hit the retirement homes,
we hit the cowboys...Copy !req
849. We give it to 'em.Copy !req
850. I gotta get out of here.Copy !req
851. The rising tide
is a far bigger thing thanCopy !req
852. any ephemeral argument about
peace or drugs or hair.Copy !req
853. We're gonna deal
with the buggers head-onCopy !req
854. and on their own turf,
and beat them.Copy !req
855. What does "Freak Power" mean,
is it some kind of code?Copy !req
856. Uh, Freak Power, you know...Copy !req
857. It's a crude piece
of political theatre.Copy !req
858. Which works, maybe too well,
at the expenseCopy !req
859. of the serious action.Copy !req
860. Ceasing control
of the governmentCopy !req
861. and returning it to the hands
of the peopleCopy !req
862. who actually live hereCopy !req
863. not just the land-rapers
and the real estate pimpsCopy !req
864. who are trying to sell this town
from under us.Copy !req
865. Aspen needs to keep growing.Copy !req
866. Yeah, but when things move
extremely fast, they move...Copy !req
867. you know, recklesslyCopy !req
868. as you can see,
just walk around.Copy !req
869. Alright, Peggy...Copy !req
870. there we go.Copy !req
871. Shoo.Copy !req
872. An impressive performance,
Mr Thompson.Copy !req
873. Care to comment for the paper?Copy !req
874. I'm incredibly high, Peggy.Copy !req
875. Oh, God, on what?Copy !req
876. The notion
of changing the world.Copy !req
877. Nice trick.Copy !req
878. Let's get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
879. Hey, guys!Copy !req
880. Free Rolling Stone,
I want you guys to read this.Copy !req
881. You're gonna wanna know
what's happening to our town.Copy !req
882. Heil Homeyer!Copy !req
883. I think you'd do better
buying all these things up.Copy !req
884. Buying them up?Copy !req
885. Suppressing my own press,
censoring myselfCopy !req
886. in the interest of victory?Copy !req
887. Why would you not wait
until the election was over?Copy !req
888. No one's gonna run an article
about a lost election.Copy !req
889. Yeah, but you gave up our
whole campaign strategy here.Copy !req
890. This is supposed to be a
campaign about self-preservationCopy !req
891. not self-promotion.Copy !req
892. Think about it this way,
y'knowCopy !req
893. in case we lost, y'know,
we get our tactics out thereCopy !req
894. and someone else, somewhere,
y'know, might...Copy !req
895. Anyway, we're not gonna lose
and now the world knows.Copy !req
896. Hunter, small towns don't like
making headlines.Copy !req
897. It only happens when
they're destroyed by tornadoesCopy !req
898. or they're inhabited
by mass murderers.Copy !req
899. Incorrect.Copy !req
900. You guys are absolutely wrong.Copy !req
901. OK, we'll just salvage
the campaign now, shall we?Copy !req
902. He let his ego write
this whole thing.Copy !req
903. That fascist haircut's
going to his head.Copy !req
904. I can run for sheriff,
I can write an article about it.Copy !req
905. I don't understandCopy !req
906. what the problem is,
but apparentlyCopy !req
907. it had a negative impact on...Copy !req
908. the way the people
in the town perceivedCopy !req
909. my intentions.Copy !req
910. I've never seen you lose a fight
that you believe in.Copy !req
911. I just feel like up until now
you haven't believed in this.Copy !req
912. You're right.Copy !req
913. Alright, you can do it,
you bastard.Copy !req
914. Alright, let's do this.Copy !req
915. Contrary to widespread rumoursCopy !req
916. and a plague of wishful thinkingCopy !req
917. I, Hunter S. Thompson,
am dead seriousCopy !req
918. about my candidacy for sheriff
of Pitkin County, Colorado.Copy !req
919. The sheriff's office
could be used to good effect.Copy !req
920. To help slow developmentCopy !req
921. stop pollutionCopy !req
922. and end consumer fraud.Copy !req
923. My aim...Copy !req
924. is to encourage citizen
participation in government.Copy !req
925. As was advocated
by our founding fathers.Copy !req
926. We either have
a participatory democracyCopy !req
927. or a police state.Copy !req
928. The only power we have
is the vote.Copy !req
929. And as the war rages on
in VietnamCopy !req
930. and as Civil Rights continue
to be a deep dark stainCopy !req
931. on our nation's historyCopy !req
932. I believe
we can make it work hereCopy !req
933. in Pitkin County.Copy !req
934. Kinda blindsided us,
I dunno, I mean...Copy !req
935. Yeah, I'm really sorry, guys.Copy !req
936. Had some bills to pay.Copy !req
937. As young Ed Wood knowsCopy !req
938. I have a bit of a fucking tab
at the...Copy !req
939. Well, everywhere.Copy !req
940. And more importantly,
I thought I'd get the story out.Copy !req
941. Well, it seems like
it worked out, man.Copy !req
942. There's volunteers
and reporters from everywhere.Copy !req
943. Phone's ringing off the hookCopy !req
944. we're even getting cash
donations for the war chest.Copy !req
945. Really? Incredible.
- Yeah.Copy !req
946. I thought
I fucked everything up.Copy !req
947. Young Ed Wood!Copy !req
948. If you're gonna be
skipping schoolCopy !req
949. at least capture
the success story!Copy !req
950. You still probably wanna
check in with Peggy, though.Copy !req
951. She seems pretty upset.Copy !req
952. The article threw us for a loop.Copy !req
953. Hey! Hey, Spiro.Copy !req
954. Was that a face fart?Copy !req
955. Hey.Copy !req
956. Can you get...Copy !req
957. Peggy.Copy !req
958. Get Peggy.Copy !req
959. Hey, um...Copy !req
960. I'm really sorry, Peggy.Copy !req
961. That was demented behaviour
on my behalf, you knowCopy !req
962. we should've... most definitely
put it to a vote.Copy !req
963. It just...Copy !req
964. It wasn't yours to sell.Copy !req
965. You gave away
our entire strategy.Copy !req
966. I fucked up. Can you forgive me?Copy !req
967. If you're serious.Copy !req
968. I mean, do you really wanna
make this thing work?Copy !req
969. Course I wanna
make this thing work!Copy !req
970. OK, well, if you doCopy !req
971. we've given away
the element of surpriseCopy !req
972. so you better ace the debate.Copy !req
973. OK, prison conditions.Copy !req
974. What do you think about
prison conditions?Copy !req
975. They need to learn a craft,
you know, a tradeCopy !req
976. you know, construction,
home improvement.Copy !req
977. People need to leave prisonCopy !req
978. better citizens than
when they entered prison.Copy !req
979. Dear Lord...Copy !req
980. let me win this election.Copy !req
981. Let me take back Aspen.Copy !req
982. Be there for me.Copy !req
983. And I will be there for you.Copy !req
984. Um, marijuana.Copy !req
985. We need to lock up all of the
for-profit drug dealers and...Copy !req
986. legalise marijuana
and other drugs in general.Copy !req
987. I know exactly what he's doing.Copy !req
988. What they're all doing, they're
trying to bring in votersCopy !req
989. into Aspen,
to create some kind of aCopy !req
990. communist experiment,
that's what they're doing.Copy !req
991. What about these permits
for the roads downtown?Copy !req
992. Fuck roads! We need
to return this town to nature.Copy !req
993. Grass is good.Copy !req
994. Do you think I'm gonna win?Copy !req
995. Maybe you might win
and maybe you might not.Copy !req
996. I love you.Copy !req
997. I'm ready if you guys are.
- I'm set.Copy !req
998. Presenting liveCopy !req
999. the Pitkin County Shrieval
debate of 1970.Copy !req
1000. Aspen, we done what we've
always done as WesternersCopy !req
1001. when we're under siege,
what we doCopy !req
1002. is we circle the wagons.
That's who we are.Copy !req
1003. I mean, I've been here
my whole life.Copy !req
1004. In fact, I used to do this jobCopy !req
1005. with just a flashlight
and a smile.Copy !req
1006. And now I have
my deputies out thereCopy !req
1007. wearing flak jackets.Copy !req
1008. Ho Chi Minh isn't
tunnelling under AspenCopy !req
1009. that's Mine Co.Copy !req
1010. Lookie here,
you're about to electCopy !req
1011. a man that calls
police officers "pigs".Copy !req
1012. The only pig in this townCopy !req
1013. is you.Copy !req
1014. When I become sheriffCopy !req
1015. I will put Thompson in jailCopy !req
1016. and that's... that's my promise
to you, Aspen.Copy !req
1017. Alright, Glenn, it's 1970Copy !req
1018. not 1870, alright?Copy !req
1019. We cannot expect people to have
respect for law and orderCopy !req
1020. until we teach respectCopy !req
1021. to those we've entrusted
to enforce those laws.Copy !req
1022. Tell me how you're gonna
keep the peaceCopy !req
1023. when you're high on marijuana?Copy !req
1024. I don't really like marijuanaCopy !req
1025. I much prefer
more active things like...Copy !req
1026. acid and mescaline.Copy !req
1027. So what you're telling everybodyCopy !req
1028. right now, is that you would use
mescaline while on duty.Copy !req
1029. Maybe on the slow nights.Copy !req
1030. Marijuana laws are...Copy !req
1031. one of those reasons that have
engendered this lack of respectCopy !req
1032. that cops complain about
across the country.Copy !req
1033. You get a whole generationCopy !req
1034. who grew up felons,
who know the law is ridiculousCopy !req
1035. but they're told
all this gibberish.Copy !req
1036. That dope rots your brain
and makes your feet fall off.Copy !req
1037. I mean, even the cops know
it's a silly law.Copy !req
1038. But I did ask you a question.Copy !req
1039. Carol doesn't know
what he's doing.Copy !req
1040. He wasn't ready for this.Copy !req
1041. No more land rapesCopy !req
1042. busts for flute playing.Copy !req
1043. Fuck the touristsCopy !req
1044. dead-end the highwayCopy !req
1045. and zone the greedheads
out of existence.Copy !req
1046. Create a town where peopleCopy !req
1047. can live like human beings,
as opposed toCopy !req
1048. slaves to some bogus
sense of progressCopy !req
1049. that's driving us all mad.Copy !req
1050. I am not going to sit hereCopy !req
1051. with this Kentucky-fried reject.Copy !req
1052. Tell us how you feel, man.Copy !req
1053. This is my town!Copy !req
1054. - What is Ricks doing?Copy !req
1055. Drop out, Ricks!Copy !req
1056. Drop out, Ricks!Copy !req
1057. OK.Copy !req
1058. I really don't know about
Mr Thompson's big ideasCopy !req
1059. and I don't thinkCopy !req
1060. they really concern the sheriff.Copy !req
1061. In fact, I don't think he really
wants to be sheriff.Copy !req
1062. But I do.Copy !req
1063. So what I say to youCopy !req
1064. is why don't you play your games
somewhere else?Copy !req
1065. I think Aspen's ready for it.Copy !req
1066. Not only for
a new kind of sheriffCopy !req
1067. but a whole new style
of government.Copy !req
1068. The type of thing
Thomas Jefferson had in mindCopy !req
1069. when he talked about democracy.Copy !req
1070. Citizens having a real hand inCopy !req
1071. shaping their own destinyCopy !req
1072. and in this era of the
automatic, bureaucratic rebuffCopy !req
1073. it may seem radicalCopy !req
1074. or even freakyCopy !req
1075. but it is the concept
on which America was founded.Copy !req
1076. Ugh.Copy !req
1077. Pitkin County, ColoradoCopy !req
1078. was about to elect the nation's
first Mescaline Sheriff.Copy !req
1079. A foul-mouthed,
bald-headed freakCopy !req
1080. who refused to compromise
on anything at allCopy !req
1081. even his taste for wild drugsCopy !req
1082. and who didn't mind
saying in publicCopy !req
1083. that he intended to hamstringCopy !req
1084. flay and cripple
every greedy plotCopy !req
1085. the Aspen power structure
held dear.Copy !req
1086. You know, it's a...Copy !req
1087. isolated town
with a very unusualCopy !req
1088. kind of population.Copy !req
1089. We do have
a Freak Power base and...Copy !req
1090. that's undeniable.Copy !req
1091. We have about a thousand votesCopy !req
1092. that would, if I walked
down the streets nakedCopy !req
1093. bomb in each handCopy !req
1094. drugs drippingCopy !req
1095. covered in...Copy !req
1096. sticky substances
known to be foul drugsCopy !req
1097. they would still vote for me.Copy !req
1098. That was brilliant. Thank you
for your time, Dr Thompson.Copy !req
1099. Appreciate it. Thanks.
- Good luck.Copy !req
1100. Hey, Hunter,
this guy's from Life.Copy !req
1101. Life?Copy !req
1102. They were thinking about
giving us the cover.Copy !req
1103. Nice. Alright.Copy !req
1104. Lifeit is.Copy !req
1105. - Come in.Copy !req
1106. Glenn.Copy !req
1107. How are you? Have a drink.Copy !req
1108. Ah! Doing well, why thank you.Copy !req
1109. Um...Copy !req
1110. Glenn?Copy !req
1111. You're gonna have to
drop out of this race.Copy !req
1112. You've never taken me
seriously this whole time?Copy !req
1113. I know you're upset.Copy !req
1114. I mean, I understand it.Copy !req
1115. It's OK. You can start
a new life somewhere.Copy !req
1116. I'm not leaving this town
and I'm not leaving this race.Copy !req
1117. You're done, Ricks. You're done.Copy !req
1118. - Sit down, Carol.Copy !req
1119. Have an apple.Copy !req
1120. You know what I like about you?Copy !req
1121. You're dependable.Copy !req
1122. When this whole crazy
election is overCopy !req
1123. can I depend on you
to make sureCopy !req
1124. this never happens
in our town again?Copy !req
1125. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1126. Good.Copy !req
1127. You work on...Copy !req
1128. "A vote for Ricks is a vote
for Thompson."Copy !req
1129. OK.Copy !req
1130. How about "The status quo
is the way to go"?Copy !req
1131. Nothing says you care like
a handwritten note.Copy !req
1132. OK, ladies.Copy !req
1133. Let's divide up,
I will take Main StreetCopy !req
1134. we're gonna go door to door.Copy !req
1135. I want you to hand these out.Copy !req
1136. Don't miss a single person.
Understand?Copy !req
1137. Great.Copy !req
1138. Let's do it.Copy !req
1139. Door to door!Copy !req
1140. And try to be
very personable, right?Copy !req
1141. Y'know, ask 'em how
their kids are doing.Copy !req
1142. Tell them
that their biscuits smell good.Copy !req
1143. Watch out
for these questions in hereCopy !req
1144. that ask about
occupation and business.Copy !req
1145. Classic voter intimidation.Copy !req
1146. Gotta come together on this.Copy !req
1147. We need to do
whatever it takesCopy !req
1148. to get rid of Hunter Thompson.Copy !req
1149. He is bad news for Aspen.Copy !req
1150. Thank you.
Good to see you, Jack.Copy !req
1151. Mimeo's broken again.Copy !req
1152. Then fix it.
Problems love solutions.Copy !req
1153. I'm the only one
who does anything around here.Copy !req
1154. Does anyone know
how to fix a mimeo?Copy !req
1155. Yeah, I can fix one.Copy !req
1156. I think... Ah.Copy !req
1157. There. It was
just a little constipated.Copy !req
1158. Alright, anything else?Copy !req
1159. Yeah.Copy !req
1160. Where is Hunter?Copy !req
1161. Muhammad Ali
didn't think it was fairCopy !req
1162. that he needed to go
fight a warCopy !req
1163. against the Viet CongCopy !req
1164. who had never done
anything wrong to him.Copy !req
1165. So he went to jailCopy !req
1166. and he didn't fight
for three years.Copy !req
1167. And now this is
his comeback fight.Copy !req
1168. We're making
a coalition of the righteous.Copy !req
1169. Democrats
and Republicans are teaming up.Copy !req
1170. We have to save our town.Copy !req
1171. The Republican party
is dropping Ricks.Copy !req
1172. Vote Whitmire.Copy !req
1173. Tell Jim to Vote Whitmire.Copy !req
1174. Vote Whitmire.Copy !req
1175. Oh! See that right?Copy !req
1176. That's what you call
a counter punchCopy !req
1177. that's when someone
tries to punch youCopy !req
1178. and instead of
letting them hit youCopy !req
1179. you dodge the punch
and you hit 'em back.Copy !req
1180. Counter.
- Vote Whitmire.Copy !req
1181. You know that.
Don't have to tell you!Copy !req
1182. Oh, hey! Jennifer, look at you.Copy !req
1183. No below the belt.Copy !req
1184. That was legal!Copy !req
1185. Good to see ya, Sue.Copy !req
1186. OK, listen up,
listen up, listen up.Copy !req
1187. I... I've just learned
that Ricks is being dropped.Copy !req
1188. That means this isn't
a three-way race anymore.Copy !req
1189. The fucking Democrats
and RepublicansCopy !req
1190. are teaming up against us.Copy !req
1191. So if we stand a chance
of beating those hypocrites nowCopy !req
1192. we need every single
last one of our voters.Copy !req
1193. Which means our
"Get Out The Vote" operationCopy !req
1194. starts before dawn.Copy !req
1195. So please...Copy !req
1196. finish your drinks
and go home.Copy !req
1197. We got a big day tomorrow.Copy !req
1198. Alright, we better get to work.Copy !req
1199. I'm gonna go home, OK?Copy !req
1200. Hunter...Copy !req
1201. it's the last hour.Copy !req
1202. The race
was going to be very close.Copy !req
1203. After a savage,
fire-sucking campaignCopy !req
1204. the major parties forged
an unholy allianceCopy !req
1205. and expected me to hunker down
like a natural gentlemanCopy !req
1206. and take a beating.Copy !req
1207. But the '60s were
full of examplesCopy !req
1208. of good men challenging
the establishmentCopy !req
1209. and being assassinated under
mysterious circumstances.Copy !req
1210. Rumour was we'd be attacked
by a lone gunmanCopy !req
1211. or the Hells AngelsCopy !req
1212. or a posse of firefighters
and construction workersCopy !req
1213. or wolverines.Copy !req
1214. I know the rumours,
because I started them.Copy !req
1215. We might not be the law yetCopy !req
1216. but we are not
to be fucked with.Copy !req
1217. - Alright, soCopy !req
1218. if they try
to fuck with us freaksCopy !req
1219. then they suffer
the consequencesCopy !req
1220. that are due to them.Copy !req
1221. Tomorrow morningCopy !req
1222. Aspen's long-smouldering
generation gapCopy !req
1223. exits the trench warfare stagesCopy !req
1224. as it spills out
onto the streetsCopy !req
1225. of the previously
peaceful Aspen.Copy !req
1226. The world is watching!Copy !req
1227. Yeah. Hell yeah!Copy !req
1228. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1229. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1230. Saddle up, freaks! Ride 'em up.Copy !req
1231. - Let's take em out!Copy !req
1232. Alright, everybody.
Here we go, this is it.Copy !req
1233. Today is the day.Copy !req
1234. Each one of you is assigned
to a precinct.Copy !req
1235. We are recording every moment.Copy !req
1236. Any challenge.Copy !req
1237. This is American history
that we're making.Copy !req
1238. You hold on to the mescaline.Copy !req
1239. Don't drink it, just guard it.Copy !req
1240. Who are these people?Copy !req
1241. I don't know,
but they either haveCopy !req
1242. too many drugs in them
or not enough.Copy !req
1243. - Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
1244. For heaven's sakes,
this is ridiculous!Copy !req
1245. What the hell's going on?Copy !req
1246. I don't know.
They got here before we did.Copy !req
1247. Hey, Mayor. Hey, Sheriff.Copy !req
1248. Did you see the voters
out front?Copy !req
1249. Yeah.
- Were they friendly?Copy !req
1250. She doesn't look
like she's 21.Copy !req
1251. Excuse me, young lady.Copy !req
1252. You know
you have to be 21 to voteCopy !req
1253. and you know what happens
if you lie?Copy !req
1254. I know the damn law.
Get out of my way.Copy !req
1255. You're not gonna
call for backup?Copy !req
1256. You have a good day.Copy !req
1257. I just want to ensure we have
a free and fair election.Copy !req
1258. Yes, this has been a very
exciting election in Aspen.Copy !req
1259. I like Hunter Thompson.Copy !req
1260. I think he's a good man.
I really do.Copy !req
1261. I think he's got
some real far out ideas.Copy !req
1262. I have to vote for
Hunter ThompsonCopy !req
1263. because... I like to see
justice done equallyCopy !req
1264. to the rich and the poor.Copy !req
1265. At least they have
some new ideasCopy !req
1266. which is more than
the old people have.Copy !req
1267. In truth,
we're not really freaks at allCopy !req
1268. not in the literal senseCopy !req
1269. but the twisted realities
of the worldCopy !req
1270. we are trying to live in
have somehow combinedCopy !req
1271. to make us feel like freaks.Copy !req
1272. We argue, we protest,
we petition but nothing changes.Copy !req
1273. So now, with the rest of
the nation eruptingCopy !req
1274. in a firestorm of bombings
and political killingCopy !req
1275. a handful of freaks
are running a finalCopy !req
1276. perhaps atavistic experimentCopy !req
1277. with the idea of forcing
change by voting.Copy !req
1278. Now they see that
we're doing thatCopy !req
1279. we're registering to vote,
we are votingCopy !req
1280. we're running
our own candidates.Copy !req
1281. Oh, my God, it's a horror!Copy !req
1282. And they're trying to stop itCopy !req
1283. because we're liable
to take it over.Copy !req
1284. Hunter Thompson is a socialist.Copy !req
1285. Save our town.Copy !req
1286. Vote for law and order.Copy !req
1287. Let's get the longhairs
out of here once and for all.Copy !req
1288. Dabbs, Dabbs!Copy !req
1289. They're fucking with
our voters at Ward 2!Copy !req
1290. You head to Ward 12,
there will be no intimidation.Copy !req
1291. No intimidation!Copy !req
1292. OK? Handle it!
Maximum savagery.Copy !req
1293. OK, alright, if you're not on a
telephone in your hand right nowCopy !req
1294. get out of here, hit the streetsCopy !req
1295. there are shacks, lodges,
communes, hovelsCopy !req
1296. that don't have any phones,
but they do have voters!Copy !req
1297. The moment is now, people,
get out there.Copy !req
1298. Citizens, the two-party systemCopy !req
1299. is the lie
that is killing America.Copy !req
1300. Rise up!
Permit no jackboot thuggery!Copy !req
1301. Young Wood,
take this tranquiliser gun.Copy !req
1302. Load it. Get it ready.Copy !req
1303. The condition of societyCopy !req
1304. is proof of
your criminal negligence!Copy !req
1305. But you won't be long
for this world!Copy !req
1306. That lunatic is refusingCopy !req
1307. to let that 75-year-old woman
cast her ballotCopy !req
1308. until she shows him
her birth certificate.Copy !req
1309. What? Oh, man. Come on.
Jesus...Copy !req
1310. I didn't think it'd turn
into this.Copy !req
1311. We need to
physically remove him.Copy !req
1312. I'm sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
1313. Jesus.Copy !req
1314. Hey, look,
your zeal is inspiringCopy !req
1315. but we're gonna have to
replace you.Copy !req
1316. It's for your best interest.Copy !req
1317. Wood... Oh!
Why did you do that?Copy !req
1318. You nodded at me to shoot him!Copy !req
1319. I told you to replace him as
the fucking poll watcher, man!Copy !req
1320. Hey, man. Come on.
Get him in the back.Copy !req
1321. Yeah. Get in there.Copy !req
1322. Replace the poll watcher, Wood.Copy !req
1323. Fucking hell.Copy !req
1324. Oh, shit, there's—Copy !req
1325. And now
the fucking pigs are here!Copy !req
1326. Damn.
- Oink, oink.Copy !req
1327. Shut the fuck up, man,
or you'll be in trouble.Copy !req
1328. Stay in the vehicle, Hunter.Copy !req
1329. Shut the door.
Stay in the vehicle.Copy !req
1330. I don't know
why I'm being pulled over.Copy !req
1331. All I know is, you can
pull someone overCopy !req
1332. if you suspect a crimeCopy !req
1333. you can't pull me over
hoping to find one.Copy !req
1334. I got one question.
You been drinkin', Hunter?Copy !req
1335. Maybe mescalineCopy !req
1336. but you'd have
a hard time proving that.Copy !req
1337. - You'd be surprised.Copy !req
1338. Mike, it's not funny.Copy !req
1339. Who's the guy in the back seat?Copy !req
1340. Oh. This is our friend,
he's a poet.Copy !req
1341. Allen Ginsberg.Copy !req
1342. Never heard of him.Copy !req
1343. Mr Ginsberg, why don't you
step out the vehicle?Copy !req
1344. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
1345. Yeah, here we go, Hunter.Copy !req
1346. Come on, Allen.Copy !req
1347. Let's give the sheriff
an oratory.Copy !req
1348. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1349. What, is this guy tripping?
Is he just hopped up?Copy !req
1350. Where the hell's he going?Copy !req
1351. You know, I don't think that
was Allen Ginsberg after all.Copy !req
1352. Are you not gonna
help this manCopy !req
1353. he's running around like a
crazy chicken, he's your friend?Copy !req
1354. You know, he was a conman,
I'm sure of it. Good work.Copy !req
1355. Mr Ginsberg!Copy !req
1356. At least we got rid
of that lunatic.Copy !req
1357. Fuckin' pigs.
- Two birds with one stone.Copy !req
1358. Allen Ginsberg! Allen...Copy !req
1359. Ah, hell, that's probably
not even his name.Copy !req
1360. Alright,
we've cached 600 of our votersCopy !req
1361. that means we have
at least 150 of our freaksCopy !req
1362. who have not made it
to the polls yet.Copy !req
1363. They close in two hours, people.Copy !req
1364. We need to scour
the park benchesCopy !req
1365. or we will lose this thing.Copy !req
1366. Time to rouse the stragglersCopy !req
1367. with a blizzard of enthusiasm.Copy !req
1368. Hold it, Benton!
- This is Hunter S. ThompsonCopy !req
1369. I was wondering
if you were gonnaCopy !req
1370. get out and vote today.Copy !req
1371. Um, yes... The freaky one,
that would be me.Copy !req
1372. Well, that's very disappointing.Copy !req
1373. Mike will be making some rumCopy !req
1374. there'll be satchels
of brain-rattling drugsCopy !req
1375. for everybody who wants
to end this on a high note.Copy !req
1376. OK, OK, OK,
there will be a partyCopy !req
1377. but please keep working
for now.Copy !req
1378. I want you working
like coal miners at a cave-in!Copy !req
1379. Hey! What are
you guys doing here?Copy !req
1380. We came to see you.Copy !req
1381. See how things are going.
Have you voted yet?Copy !req
1382. Voted!
- The polls close soon.Copy !req
1383. Vote. I have to vote!Copy !req
1384. Come on, Juan, let's go exercise
our constitutional rights.Copy !req
1385. I'm driving.Copy !req
1386. OK. Good idea.Copy !req
1387. Someone take my cattle prod.
I'm going to vote.Copy !req
1388. Have you been to the polls
yet this afternoon, sir?Copy !req
1389. Alright, we're down
to the last two hoursCopy !req
1390. you're gonna have to
leave work earlyCopy !req
1391. if you want your vote to count.Copy !req
1392. Alright, thank you very much,
thanks for your support.Copy !req
1393. You don't even have
any hair, I meanCopy !req
1394. you had the craziest hair
in the world.Copy !req
1395. This might be our next sheriff.Copy !req
1396. Hey, Juan,
this is the poll watcherCopy !req
1397. she will be making sure there's
no corruption happening.Copy !req
1398. How are we doing?
- About even.Copy !req
1399. Wow. Excellent.
You hear that, Juan?Copy !req
1400. We're even. Let's go vote.Copy !req
1401. Good luck, Hunter.Copy !req
1402. Alright, buddy,
we need some privacy.Copy !req
1403. There we go.
- I know which one to take.Copy !req
1404. No. First, we need to vote.Copy !req
1405. So who we gonna vote for?Copy !req
1406. We've got Ricks.
What do you think about Ricks?Copy !req
1407. What about Whitmire? Whitmire?Copy !req
1408. What about Hunter Thompson?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1409. Is that the one?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1410. Alright, let's vote for him.
- But WhitmireCopy !req
1411. I stole a cupcake from.Copy !req
1412. Alright, perfect. There we go.Copy !req
1413. A voting sticker, buddy.
- Ow.Copy !req
1414. In the end,
we're not all that different.Copy !req
1415. This actually...
This don't stick.Copy !req
1416. OK, everyone. Phones down!Copy !req
1417. The polls are now closed.Copy !req
1418. Alright, thank you all so much
for your hard work.Copy !req
1419. What's done is done,
now we waitCopy !req
1420. so... let the party commence!Copy !req
1421. Head to the bar!
I think we won this thing.Copy !req
1422. Oh!Copy !req
1423. You realise we are
actually gonna win big.Copy !req
1424. Feel this,
we're gonna win big!Copy !req
1425. If we win,
it'll be by less than 25 votes.Copy !req
1426. Politics is addictive.Copy !req
1427. We must be very carefulCopy !req
1428. not to show any signs
of addiction.Copy !req
1429. I think right now, Hunter,
what you needCopy !req
1430. is another sip of
the mescaline.Copy !req
1431. I do.Copy !req
1432. That is not
what he needs right now.Copy !req
1433. Feels good.Copy !req
1434. Yeah, they believe
we're gonna win.Copy !req
1435. They believe this is
the start of a movement.Copy !req
1436. They believe in you, Hunter.Copy !req
1437. You gotta decide
if you want themCopy !req
1438. to remember you
for all this... or for this.Copy !req
1439. Yeah, but if it wasn't for this,
I'd be an accountant.Copy !req
1440. Oh, come on, say it enough and
you might end up believing it.Copy !req
1441. Well, I'm gonna go
to my room.Copy !req
1442. This is worse than waiting
around the maternity ward.Copy !req
1443. Alright, we'll come get you
when you win.Copy !req
1444. Sheriff.Copy !req
1445. Hunter, man!
You gotta get out here, man!Copy !req
1446. Shut up!Copy !req
1447. Hunter!Copy !req
1448. My advisors
are already gearing upCopy !req
1449. for the presidential
campaign in '72.Copy !req
1450. They seem to think that
I could beat Nixon handilyCopy !req
1451. with the same kind of
campaign we ran here.Copy !req
1452. If a Republican town
like Aspen can elect a sheriffCopy !req
1453. running on
a Freak Power platformCopy !req
1454. then the vote might still
be a viable toolCopy !req
1455. and it might still be possible
to alter the meanCopy !req
1456. fascist drift of this nationCopy !req
1457. without burning it down
in the process.Copy !req
1458. There he is!Copy !req
1459. Quiet, everybody!Copy !req
1460. Quiet,
the results are coming in.Copy !req
1461. Precinct 1, Whitmire: 182...Copy !req
1462. 210.Copy !req
1463. Precinct 2, Precinct 2,
Precinct 2...Copy !req
1464. 23...Copy !req
1465. 131.Copy !req
1466. 158.Copy !req
1467. One more, one more, one more!Copy !req
1468. Alright, Precinct 3, Ricks: 10Copy !req
1469. 137...Copy !req
1470. 182.Copy !req
1471. We just won the city of Aspen!Copy !req
1472. Relax, relax.Copy !req
1473. OK, OK, Precinct 4, Precinct 4.Copy !req
1474. Uh, Whitmire: 204...Copy !req
1475. 173.Copy !req
1476. Precinct 5...Copy !req
1477. 320 for Whitmire.Copy !req
1478. 148 for Hunter.Copy !req
1479. I think, uh,
it doesn't look good.Copy !req
1480. Precinct 6.Copy !req
1481. 300...Copy !req
1482. 90.Copy !req
1483. The silent majority.Copy !req
1484. Huh. Well...Copy !req
1485. Anyway...Copy !req
1486. They won't have
Hunter S. ThompsonCopy !req
1487. to kick around anymore.Copy !req
1488. This is bullshit!Copy !req
1489. No, I wouldn't...
Politics, you know.Copy !req
1490. [MAN 2]:
What do you think you proved?Copy !req
1491. I think, um,
I unfortunately provedCopy !req
1492. what I set out to prove,
which is that, um...Copy !req
1493. you know, the American Dream
really is fucked.Copy !req
1494. No, it's not.Copy !req
1495. Maybe I didn't prove that.Copy !req
1496. Maybe I just provedCopy !req
1497. you know,
there's no place in politicsCopy !req
1498. for a bald-headed lunatic.Copy !req
1499. Right?Copy !req
1500. We ran the county lineCopy !req
1501. between...Copy !req
1502. the necessity for winningCopy !req
1503. and the weird possibilityCopy !req
1504. that we could win
on our own termsCopy !req
1505. and that alone has made this
campaign worth all the effort.Copy !req
1506. All the effort.Copy !req
1507. I won't dwell on the past.Copy !req
1508. But just to say that...Copy !req
1509. this is the best piece of
advice I'll ever give you.Copy !req
1510. If you ever get a chanceCopy !req
1511. to sweep the fatbacks
off their feet...Copy !req
1512. don't fuck it up.Copy !req
1513. We won! We won. We won...Copy !req
1514. In a democracy,
people usually getCopy !req
1515. the kind of government
they deserveCopy !req
1516. and they deserve
what they get.Copy !req
1517. We love this town!Copy !req
1518. In this electionCopy !req
1519. party lines didn't really
mean much in this county.Copy !req
1520. We realise that laws...
we must have lawsCopy !req
1521. and we've got to obey
these lawsCopy !req
1522. and without laws,
we've got anarchy.Copy !req
1523. To Aspen.Copy !req
1524. To Aspen.Copy !req
1525. The day after the polls closedCopy !req
1526. you can understand whyCopy !req
1527. Cinderella never stayed out
after midnight.Copy !req
1528. Politics is the art of
controlling your environment.Copy !req
1529. That is one of the key things
I learned in these yearsCopy !req
1530. and I learned it the hard way.Copy !req
1531. Anybody who thinks thatCopy !req
1532. it doesn't matter
who's presidentCopy !req
1533. has never been
sent off to fight and dieCopy !req
1534. in a vicious, stupid war
on the other side of the worldCopy !req
1535. or been beaten
and gassed by policeCopy !req
1536. for trespassing
on public propertyCopy !req
1537. or been hounded by the IRS
for purely political reasonsCopy !req
1538. or locked up in the Cook County
jail with a broken noseCopy !req
1539. and no phone accessCopy !req
1540. and 12 perverts waiting
to stomp your ass in the shower.Copy !req
1541. That is when it matters
who is presidentCopy !req
1542. or governor, or sheriff.Copy !req
1543. That is when you wish
you had voted.Copy !req