1. What'd the doctor say?
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2. Nothing. Supposedly it's just a 24-hour bug.
He gave me some pills.
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3. I told you you probably
just ate some bad gristle.
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4. Should we take the short
cut or the scenic route?
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5. Let's take the short cut.
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6. But the scenic route is so much prettier.
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7. - Okay, let's take the scenic route.
- Great.
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8. It's actually slightly quicker anyway.
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9. Thank you.
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10. What is a squab?
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11. You know what it is. It's
like a pigeon I suppose.
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12. Should we go through the
hole under the horse fence,
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13. or climb the rail over the bridle path?
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14. The horse fence is a little safer.
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15. But the bridle path puts us
right next to the squab shack.
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16. Well, okay.
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17. What's wrong? You're acting skittish.
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18. Don't worry. I've been stealing birds
for a living since before I could trot.
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19. You look unbelievably beautiful tonight.
You're practically glowing.
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20. Maybe it's the lighting.
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21. Come on.
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22. What's that?
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23. - I think it's a fox trap. Look at this.
- Get away from there.
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24. Is it spring-loaded?
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25. I guess if you come from over there and
stand at this door to the squab shack,
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26. this little gadget probably triggers...
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27. Move out of the way, that's
where it's going to land.
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28. Don't... Let's go!
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29. No, it just falls straight right down.
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30. It's not spring-loaded.
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31. I'm pregnant.
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32. Wow. We're going to have a cub.
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33. That's great news.
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34. If we're still alive...
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35. if we're still alive tomorrow morning, I
want you to find another line of work.
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36. Okay.
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37. Does anybody actually read my column?
Do your friends talk about it?
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38. Of course. In fact, Rabbit's
ex-girlfriend said to me,
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39. "I should read Foxy's column."
But they don't get the Gazette.
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40. Ash! Let's get cracking.
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41. Why would they? it's a rag sheet.
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42. - I'm sick. - You're not.
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43. - I have a temperature. - You don't.
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44. - I don't want to go.
- Hurry up. You'll be late.
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45. I love the way you handled that.
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46. Your cousin Kristofferson's
coming on the 6th.
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47. Be extra nice to him, he's going
through a hard time right now.
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48. - Where will he sleep? - In your room.
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49. I can't spare the space.
Put him in Dad's study.
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50. Dad's study is occupied by Dad.
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51. I don't want to live in a hole anymore.
It makes me feel poor.
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52. We are poor. But we're happy.
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53. Comme ci, comme ça. Anyway, the
views are better above ground.
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54. Honey, I'm 7 non-fox-years old.
My father died at 7-1/2.
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55. I don't want to live in a hole anymore.
I'm going to do something about it.
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56. Well, I'm off. Have a
good day, my darlings.
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57. You know, foxes live in holes for a reason.
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58. Yes and no.
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59. What are you wearing? Why a cape
with the pants tucked in your socks?
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60. I guess he's just
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61. different.
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62. I'm not the listing agent on it, so it
doesn't matter to me. I know he's...
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63. Actually, there he is. Mr. Fox! Here it is!
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64. This is the tree! Come on over.
I'll call you back, Bob.
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65. Obviously, it's first growth,
indigenous, original dirt floor.
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66. Good bark, skipping stone
hearth, as you can see.
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67. Kylie. Kylie!
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68. I'm showing the property.
You're not supposed to be here.
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69. What time is it? Sorry.
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70. This is Kylie, the super. He's a little...
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71. What's in the bucket, Mr. Kylie?
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72. See what his eyes look like? Hey, Kylie!
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73. Huh? Just minnows. Want to try one?
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74. Certainly. Thank you.
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75. It's not exactly an evergreen, is it?
Are there any pines on the market?
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76. Pines are hard to come
by in your price range.
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77. What's that?
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78. What do you do for a living, Mr. Fox?
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79. I used to steal birds, but
now I'm a newspaperman.
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80. Oh, sure. I've seen your byline.
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81. - Good afternoon, gentlemen.
- You're going?
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82. Oh, and Kylie, thank you for the minnow.
It was superb.
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83. Don't buy this tree, Foxy.
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84. You're borrowing at 9.5%
with no fixed rate,
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85. plus moving into the most dangerous
neighborhood in the country
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86. for your species.
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87. You're exaggerating.
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88. I'm sugar-coating it. This
is Boggis, Bunce and Bean,
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89. three of the meanest, nastiest, ugliest
farmers in the history of this valley.
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90. Really? Tell me about them.
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91. All right.
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92. Walt Boggis is a chicken farmer. Probably
the most successful in the world.
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93. He weighs the same as a young rhinoceros.
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94. He eats three chickens every day for
breakfast, lunch, supper and dessert.
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95. That's twelve in total per diem.
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96. Nate Bunce is a duck and goose farmer.
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97. He's approximately the size
of a pot-bellied dwarf,
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98. and his chin would be underwater
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99. in the shallow end of any
swimming pool on the planet.
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100. His food is homemade doughnuts
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101. with smashed-up goose
livers injected into them.
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102. Frank Bean is a turkey and apple farmer.
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103. He invented his own species of each.
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104. He lives on a liquid diet of strong alcoholic
cider, which he makes from his apples.
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105. He's skinny as a pencil, smart as a whip,
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106. and possibly the scariest
man currently living.
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107. The local human children sing a kind
of eerie little rhyme about him.
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108. Here, listen to this.
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109. Boggis, Bunce and Bean One
fat, one short, one lean
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110. These horrible crooks So different in looks
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111. Were nonetheless equally mean
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112. In summation, I think you just
got to not do it. That's all.
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113. I understand what you're saying,
and your comments are valuable,
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114. but I'm going to ignore your advice.
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115. The cuss you are.
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116. The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
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117. - Are you cussing with me?
- Don't cussing point at me.
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118. Don't cuss with someone you're
not going to cuss with.
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119. - Just buy the tree. - Okay.
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120. Take a left, then to the right. Set them down.
Help that other guy.
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121. Lift with your legs, not your back.
Don't try to be a superman.
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122. We got two circuits here, yellow and green.
Keep them separated.
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123. We need to bring about 2% more in.
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124. A little bit more, a little bit more.
Looks good.
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125. Get that bottom structure settled in.
Bring in the side unit.
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126. Be careful of the branches, guys.
Don't peel away the bark.
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127. Wow.
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128. Hi.
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129. He's slightly younger, but
a cuss of a lot bigger.
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130. That's just genetics, I guess.
Ash has a littler body type.
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131. Go.
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132. Watch this, Dad!
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133. Well, well.
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134. Good jump, Ash. Remember
to keep your tail tucked.
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135. Still painting thunderstorms, I see.
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136. Do you still feel poor?
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137. Less so.
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138. Look at that! This kid's a natural.
I'm speechless, Kristofferson.
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139. Plus, he knows karate.
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140. - Do you think I'm an athlete?
- What are you talking about?
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141. Well, I think I'm an athlete.
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142. Sometimes I feel like you
guys don't see me that way.
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143. What's the subtext here? Is he praying?
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144. I think that's yoga.
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145. How long is Kristofferson
supposed to stay with us?
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146. Until your uncle gets better.
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147. But roughly how long do we
plan to give him on that?
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148. Double pneumonia. It's not that big a deal.
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149. Lower your voice, Ash.
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150. Who am I, Kylie?
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151. Who how? What now?
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152. Why a fox? Why not a horse,
a beetle or a bald eagle?
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153. I'm saying this more as existentialism.
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154. Who am I, and how can a fox ever be happy
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155. without, forgive the expression,
a chicken in its teeth?
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156. I don't know what you're talking
about, but it sounds illegal.
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157. Here, put this bandit hat on.
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158. Maybe you're a medium. Take it off
and don't wear it around the house.
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159. And so it begins.
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160. Do you mind if I slide my bedroll
slightly out from under the train set?
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161. It's hard to sleep in
that corkscrew position.
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162. There's a lot of attitudes going on around here.
Don't let me get one.
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163. It's just that my spinal cord is...
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164. Sleep wherever you want.
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165. Here, take my bed. I'll
crawl under the bookcase.
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166. Who cares if I get splinters in my ears?
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167. - Never mind.
- Are you going to pout about it?
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168. I've had it up to here with
the sad house guest routine.
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169. Good night.
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170. I used to do this professionally
and I was very successful at it.
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171. I had to get out of it
for personal reasons,
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172. but I've decided to secretly do
one last big job on the sly.
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173. I'm bringing you in as my
secretary and personal assistant.
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174. Okay.
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175. This is actually kind of a big
deal, so don't just say, "Okay."
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176. Okay, thank you.
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177. I'm going to tape this for my records,
so don't make a lot of sounds.
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178. Meaning, stop rocking.
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179. Master Plan. Phase one. Side A.
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180. We'll start with Boggis's
Chicken House Number One.
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181. His only security is a few old hunting
beagles and a low stone wall.
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182. A word about beagles, never look
a beagle directly in the eye.
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183. Why not? Beagles aren't so tough.
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184. One of these beagles has chronic
rabies, which he's on medication for.
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185. If you get bitten by him, you have to get
shots in your stomach for six months.
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186. I'm not going to justify this.
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187. Just pay attention and stop interrupting.
I'm taping this.
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188. I picked some blueberries and laced each
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189. with 10 mg of high potency sleeping powder.
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190. Enough to tranquilize a gorilla.
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191. - How do we make them eat it?
- Beagles love blueberries.
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192. Remember, they aren't very smart,
but they're incredibly paranoid,
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193. so always kill a chicken in one bite.
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194. One bite, get it?
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195. Are you listening to me?
I look in your eyes
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196. and can't tell if you get anything I say.
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197. Magnesium.
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198. - Magnesium! - Sorry.
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199. Pipette.
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200. - Pipette! - Oh, sorry.
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201. Potassium... What are you looking at?
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202. Oh, no.
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203. Why's your cousin such a wet sandwich?
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204. - I beg your pardon? - What's that mean?
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205. That means I didn't
understand, a wet sandwich?
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206. A wet sandwich, he's too short,
he dresses like a girl, he's
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207. different.
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208. Are you a bully? You're
starting to sound like a bully.
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209. Watch this.
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210. You just destroyed the whole experiment.
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211. We better extinguish this magnesium.
Stand back.
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212. I like your ears.
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213. Mine?
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214. Thank you. I like your spots.
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215. Really? I used to cover
them up, but, you know...
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216. - You're supposed to be my lab partner.
- I am.
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217. No, you're not. You're disloyal.
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218. A few beagles, as we discussed,
but we're ready for that.
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219. In the old days, didn't we do a
thing when somebody saw a wolf...
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220. Wolf? What wolf?
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221. Nothing? Never mind.
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222. Here comes a little stone wall.
Not a problem.
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223. What the cuss? Where did this giant fence come from?
We had a master plan.
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224. What's this lightning bolt?
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225. It could mean the fence might be electric.
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226. I hope it doesn't mean thunder,
because I have a phobia of that.
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227. Watch this.
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228. Beagles love blueberries. Didn't I tell you?
The master plan is working again.
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229. This is the tricky part.
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230. One of us has to jump the barbed wire,
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231. slide under the tire spikes
and open the fence latch.
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232. - Who will it be? - Not me.
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233. Kristofferson could do this easily.
He's like an Olympic level...
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234. Why don't we run that way?
There's no obstacles.
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235. Yeah, that's better.
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236. - I said, one bite. - I'm trying!
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237. I have a different kind of teeth from you.
I'm an opossum.
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238. Give me that.
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239. That's so grisly. There's blood.
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240. Follow me.
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241. All right, what's the master escape plan?
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242. Follow me again.
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243. Quick!
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244. Give me that!
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245. Let's hit the five-and-dime
on the way home.
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246. We'll make fake price tags and
wrap the chickens in wax paper,
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247. so it looks like we bought them!
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248. Where'd you get this chicken?
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249. At the five-and-dime last night.
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250. It has a Boggis Farms tag around its ankle.
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251. Must have escaped from
there before I bought it.
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252. Bunce tonight. He has a refrigerated
smokehouse with geese...
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253. I thought you said we were
only doing one last big job.
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254. We are. But it's not done yet.
It's a triple-header.
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255. Let's see some hustle.
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256. I've never played whack-bat.
What are the rules?
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257. No whack-bat on the other
side of the river?
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258. No, we mostly just run grass
sprints or play acorns.
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259. It's real simple.
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260. There's 3 grabbers, 3 taggers, 5
twig-runners and the player at whack-bat.
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261. The center-tagger lights a pinecone
and chucks it over the basket.
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262. The whack-batter tries to hit the
cedar-stick off the cross-rock.
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263. The twig-runners dash back and forth
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264. until the pinecone burns out and
the umpire calls, "hot box."
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265. At the end, you count how many
score-downs it adds up to
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266. and divide by nine.
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267. - Got it. - Go in for Ash.
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268. Substitution! Ash, come out!
You need a breather.
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269. Come out?
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270. What? I still feel good, Coach.
Let me finish this 8th.
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271. No, come on. Step out, let's go.
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272. - Am I getting better, Coach?
- You're sure as cuss not getting worse.
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273. You think I could end up being as
good as my dad if I keep practicing?
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274. Your dad? Your dad was probably
the best whack-bat player
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275. we ever had in this school.
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276. Don't compare yourself to that.
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277. But I think I have some of the same
raw natural talent, don't you?
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278. You're improving, let's put it like that.
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279. - Hot box! - Divide that by nine, please!
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280. That's the first time this
kid's ever swung a whack bat?
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281. He really is your father's nephew.
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282. - Not by blood. - No?
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283. - He's from my mother's side. - Oh, yeah.
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284. What's that stand for?
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285. It's for pep. Pep.
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286. It's a K.
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287. Come on now, look alive! That-a-boy!
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288. We're going steady.
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289. What's that?
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290. What? What, this?
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291. Nothing. Just some old trophy
I won for being an athlete.
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292. I have to cover a book party
at some animal's nest
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293. in a tobacco field down the hill.
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294. Kylie and I are going to give it a whirl.
Don't wait up.
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295. What's the book?
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296. Some memoir. I'll get
him to sign you a copy.
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297. The dinner was pitch perfect.
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298. I saw a couple broken burglar bars under the
back door to Bean's secret cider cellar.
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299. - We're breaking into Bean's house?
- Cellar.
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300. - Where he lives?
- Where he keeps the cider.
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301. Below where he lives.
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302. Where'd you come from? Go back to
the tree and do your homework.
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303. I want to help steal cider.
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304. We're going to a book party.
And be quiet about any cider,
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305. because nobody said that. Now, go!
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306. You're going to get me in a lot of trouble.
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307. Besides, you're too
little and uncoordinated.
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308. One, two, three!
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309. Where the cuss does that kid get off?
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310. Can you believe that?
How'd he get tipped off?
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311. You think he'll tell on us?
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312. Before we go on, can you
give me some kind of signal
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313. so I know this is getting through to you?
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314. That's it? All right.
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315. There's another one.
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316. - Good, you made it. Anybody see you?
- I don't think so.
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317. Put this bandit hat on.
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318. I'm pleased to be invited, but I'm
not sure I should be doing this.
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319. - Why not?
- I don't like to be dishonest with people.
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320. Just keep your mouth shut
and it won't be a problem.
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321. - I don't think he should come, either.
- We're not taking a vote!
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322. One time, this wolf I saw...
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323. What's with all the wolf talk?
Give it a rest for once.
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324. Look at all this apple juice.
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325. Apple juice? We didn't
come here for apple juice.
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326. This is some of the strongest,
finest alcoholic cider money can buy
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327. or that can even be stolen.
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328. It burns in your throat,
boils in your stomach,
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329. and tastes almost exactly
like pure, melted gold.
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330. Y'all are trespassing now, illegally.
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331. 'Round these parts, we don't
take kindly to cider poachers.
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332. You've aged badly, Rat.
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333. You're getting a little long in
the tooth yourself, partner.
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334. Why are you wearing that badge?
What is that?
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335. It's my job.
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336. How's your old lady doing?
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337. Do you refer to my wife?
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338. She was the town tart in her day.
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339. Wild and footloose and
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340. pretty as a mink stole.
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341. Is that true?
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342. Of course not. I mean, certainly
she lived. We all did.
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343. It was a different time. Let's
not use a double standard.
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344. - But town tart? - Shut up.
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345. That was close, Rat. Be careful.
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346. Oh, I'm careful as a...
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347. How many jars should I bring up, Franklin?
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348. I don't know. Two, I guess.
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349. You drank three yesterday.
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350. All right. Take three.
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351. Nope. Two is plenty.
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352. Oh, my cuss. Is she blind?
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353. She might have astigmatism or
possibly a cataract of some form.
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354. Anyway, her eyes don't see well.
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355. What'd I tell you? This kid's a natural!
Am I right?
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356. So good of you to come.
You both look splendid.
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357. How have you been, Walter? In good health?
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358. Nathan? All's well?
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359. Wonderful.
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360. Any fox problems?
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361. - Are you joking? - Horrible.
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362. - We're miserable. - He's laughing at us.
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363. - Humiliating. - We're furious.
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364. I don't want to talk about it.
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365. Perhaps we ought to kill him.
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366. - That seems obvious. - He's too sneaky.
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367. Right, of course. He's
very clever, isn't he?
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368. Might be a bit difficult, I suppose.
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369. I've figured out where this fox lives.
Tomorrow night, we'll camp in the bushes,
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370. wait for him to come out and
shoot the cuss to smithereens.
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371. How does that grab you?
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372. I don't see why not.
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373. Another book party?
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374. I didn't see you sitting
in the dark over there.
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375. Actually, there was a fire.
I just got the call.
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376. May be arson. I have to
interview the marshal...
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377. Kylie. Is he telling the truth?
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378. I don't want to be put
in the middle of this.
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379. Thanks, Kylie.
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380. Why is he wearing that bandit hat?
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381. His ears were cold. He's not with us.
Go back to bed.
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382. If what I think is happening is happening,
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383. it better not be.
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384. Nice job covering for me. Next time...
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385. All three!
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386. Kill him!
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387. We got the tail, but we missed the fox.
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388. Petey, sorry to wake you. Can
you dash out here right away
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389. with three shovels, two pickaxes,
500 rounds of ammunition,
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390. and a bottle of apple cider?
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391. - It'll grow back, won't it?
- Tails don't grow back.
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392. - Tails don't grow back? - Except lizards'.
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393. Tails don't grow back. I'm gonna be
tail-less for the rest of my life.
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394. Anyway, it's not half as bad
as double pneumonia, right?
Copy !req
395. I mean, his dad has one foot in the
grave and three feet on a banana peel.
Copy !req
396. That's a lot worse than...
Copy !req
397. Excuse me. I'm going to go
meditate for half an hour.
Copy !req
398. You have 29 minutes to come
up with a proper apology.
Copy !req
399. Me? Me have an apology?
Copy !req
400. He just got here and got a bandit hat?
Where's my bandit hat?
Copy !req
401. Why didn't I get shot at? Because
you think I'm no good at anything!
Copy !req
402. Maybe you're right, thanks.
Copy !req
403. I told you not to bring him.
Copy !req
404. Why the cuss didn't I listen to my lawyer?
Copy !req
405. We'll be lucky to flip this tree for
half of what we've sunk into it.
Copy !req
406. I can't sleep on my back for 6 weeks
and on my stomach, I feel congested.
Copy !req
407. Why the cuss didn't I listen to my lawyer?
Copy !req
408. Because you don't listen to anybody.
Copy !req
409. - What was that? - I said...
Copy !req
410. Wake up! They're digging us out!
Copy !req
411. - They'll kill the children.
- Over my dead body.
Copy !req
412. - I know. You're dead, too, in that scenario.
- I'm arguing against that.
Copy !req
413. - What? - Why are you yelling?
Copy !req
414. Stop! You say one thing, she says
another, and it all changes back again!
Copy !req
415. I've got it. No time to lose. Why
didn't I think of this sooner?
Copy !req
416. Think of what?
Copy !req
417. We've been trapped before.
Copy !req
418. Dig!
Copy !req
419. I think it's time for me to give a
pep talk and explain some things.
Copy !req
420. A very long time ago...
Copy !req
421. May I have a word with you privately?
Copy !req
422. Well, we're in a hole here.
Copy !req
423. On the other side of this
mineral deposit. Follow me.
Copy !req
424. I'm going to lose my temper now.
Copy !req
425. - When? - Right now.
Copy !req
426. Well, when?
Copy !req
427. Twelve fox-years ago, you made a promise
Copy !req
428. while we were caged in that fox
trap that, if we survived,
Copy !req
429. you would never steal another
chicken, turkey, goose, duck
Copy !req
430. or squab, whatever they are.
Copy !req
431. Now, I believed you. Why did you lie to me?
Copy !req
432. Because I'm a wild animal.
Copy !req
433. You are also a husband, and a father!
Copy !req
434. I'm trying to tell you
the truth about myself.
Copy !req
435. I don't care about the
truth about yourself.
Copy !req
436. This story is too predictable.
Copy !req
437. Predictable, really?
What happens in the end?
Copy !req
438. In the end, we all die.
Copy !req
439. Unless you change.
Copy !req
440. Petey, run down to the rental department
at Malloy Consolidated and place an order
Copy !req
441. for one Mighty Max, one Junior Spitfire,
Copy !req
442. and a long-range Tornado 375 Turbo.
For immediate delivery.
Copy !req
443. Ash, are you mad at me? I understand
if you are, and I'm sorry.
Copy !req
444. I wouldn't have involved your cousin
if I'd realized you'd feel this way.
Copy !req
445. It was only ever because he's kind of
a natural, I mean... Look at him dig!
Copy !req
446. Anyway, I'm sorry if...
Copy !req
447. I'm going to just put dirt in my ears.
Copy !req
448. That's better. I can't hear
you now, but keep talking.
Copy !req
449. I don't have beagle ticks, by the way.
Copy !req
450. Well, me, neither. Whoever said
we had beagle ticks, by the way?
Copy !req
451. Apparently, that's what you've been telling everyone.
Beagle ticks and pelt lice.
Copy !req
452. I never said that. And you're misquoting me.
But I'll get to the bottom of it.
Copy !req
453. We may or may not ever see
the light of day again,
Copy !req
454. but I really like Agnes
and I think she likes me.
Copy !req
455. Great. She's a free agent. What do I care?
Copy !req
456. Then why are you dead set...
Copy !req
457. - Can I ask you a question? - You may.
Copy !req
458. What's the point of sitting on the floor
with your legs twisted into a pretzel
Copy !req
459. talking to yourself for an hour
and 45 minutes? it's weird.
Copy !req
460. My father and I started
meditating together when...
Copy !req
461. That's great, but I'd worry more about
what that does to your reputation
Copy !req
462. than whether you have beagle ticks or not.
Copy !req
463. I don't. Nor pelt lice.
Copy !req
464. One of those slovenly farmers is probably
wearing my tail as a necktie by now.
Copy !req
465. You're paranoid, Foxy.
Copy !req
466. Farmer, correct me if I'm
misreading the data.
Copy !req
467. You've destroyed the scenery, but
the alleged fox remains at large.
Copy !req
468. Look at Dad's tie.
Copy !req
469. What will you three
prominent farmers do now?
Copy !req
470. I can tell you what we're not going to do.
Copy !req
471. We're not going to let him go.
Copy !req
472. Stand clear, please. Stand clear, everyone.
Copy !req
473. Contact!
Copy !req
474. Boggis, how many men work on your farm?
Copy !req
475. - 35. - Bunce?
Copy !req
476. - 36. - I've got 37.
Copy !req
477. That... Carry the zero, divide by two...
Copy !req
478. That's 108 all together.
Copy !req
479. Petey, drop everything and
assemble all 108 members
Copy !req
480. of our three combined work forces.
Copy !req
481. We'll starve them out, then kill them.
Starting in
Copy !req
482. shall we say, 15 minutes?
Copy !req
483. An estimated 108 snipers are in position,
surrounding the demolished fox residence.
Copy !req
484. Any local animals appear
to be trapped underground
Copy !req
485. without provisions of any kind.
Copy !req
486. If I had a crystal ball, I'd predict a
fairly grisly outcome to this situation.
Copy !req
487. We'll stay on the scene, watching
closely, as events continue to unfold.
Copy !req
488. This is going to be a total
cluster-cuss for everybody.
Copy !req
489. How long can a fox go
without food or water?
Copy !req
490. I can only answer as an opossum, but I
can't last more than another couple hours
Copy !req
491. before I get completely
dehydrated and starve to death.
Copy !req
492. What's that?
Copy !req
493. - Dad. - Not a sound.
Copy !req
494. You scared the cuss out of us!
Copy !req
495. A lot of good animals are probably
going to die, because of you!
Copy !req
496. We've been digging in circles for 3 days.
Copy !req
497. Half the woods have been obliterated.
Copy !req
498. Nobody can get out. My wife's huddled
at the bottom of a flint-mine
Copy !req
499. with no food, no water, and
27 starving animal brats!
Copy !req
500. I just want to see a little sunshine.
Copy !req
501. You're nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes
barely even open on a good day.
Copy !req
502. I'm sick of your double-talk!
We have rights!
Copy !req
503. We don't like you and we hate your dad.
Copy !req
504. Now grab some mud, chew it and swallow it.
Copy !req
505. - I'm not going to eat mud.
- Cuss, yeah, you are.
Copy !req
506. Don't do that.
Copy !req
507. Why'd you take your shoes off?
Copy !req
508. So I don't break your nose when I kick it.
Copy !req
509. I can fight my own fights.
Copy !req
510. No, you can't.
Copy !req
511. Those farmers won't quit till they've
got you and every member of your family
Copy !req
512. nailed upside-down to a bloody
stick with your eyes gorged out.
Copy !req
513. This is getting a little too personal.
Copy !req
514. Give me a minute.
Copy !req
515. I've got an idea.
Copy !req
516. - What? - It could be good.
Copy !req
517. - Lay it on us. - It might save our lives.
Copy !req
518. Say the idea!
Copy !req
519. All right. Let's try it.
Copy !req
520. Go to the flint-mine, tell Mrs. Badger et al.
that help is on the way.
Copy !req
521. Is help on the way?
Copy !req
522. I sure as cuss hope so.
Copy !req
523. Ash, I know what it's like to feel
Copy !req
524. different.
Copy !req
525. I'm not different.
Copy !req
526. Am I?
Copy !req
527. We all are. Him, especially.
Copy !req
528. But there's something kind of
fantastic about that, isn't there?
Copy !req
529. Not to me. I'd prefer to be an athlete.
Copy !req
530. Gentlemen,
Copy !req
531. this time we must dig in a
very special direction.
Copy !req
532. We have to kind of feel out the vibe.
Copy !req
533. Begin.
Copy !req
534. Come on! You guys... You're not... Come on.
Copy !req
535. I hit it slap in the middle. Do
you get how incredible this is?
Copy !req
536. 'Bout a handsome little fox
Let me sing you folks a yarn
Copy !req
537. Hey, diddle-dee, daddle-da,
doddle-do, doodle-dum
Copy !req
538. 'Twas a splendid little fella
Full of wit and grace and charm
Copy !req
539. Say zippy-zee, zappy-za,
yappy-yo, Google-gum
Copy !req
540. Like any little critter needing
Vittles for his little-uns
Copy !req
541. Well, he stole and he cheated
And he lied just to survive
Copy !req
542. With a doodle-dum, diddle-di,
duddle, doodle-dum
Copy !req
543. With a zippy-zo, zippy-zay,
zippy-zappy-zoopy-zee
Copy !req
544. Oh, doo-dah, doo-dah, day!
Copy !req
545. Let me take a little tick
To color in the scene
Copy !req
546. 'Cross the valley lived three yokels
Name of Boggis, Bunce and Bean
Copy !req
547. These three crazy jackies
Had our hero on the run
Copy !req
548. Shot the tail off the cuss
With a fox-shooting gun
Copy !req
549. But that stylish little
fox Was clever as a whip
Copy !req
550. Dug as quick as a gopher
That was hyperactive
Copy !req
551. Now those three farmers sit
Copy !req
552. 'Twhere there a hole 'twas once a hill
Copy !req
553. Singing diddle-dee, daddle-da,
doddle-do, doodle-dum
Copy !req
554. And as far as I can reckon
They're sitting up there still
Copy !req
555. Singing zippy-zee, zappy-za, yoppy-yo...
Copy !req
556. What are you singing, Petey?
Copy !req
557. Just making it up as I went along, really.
Copy !req
558. That's just weak songwriting.
You wrote a bad song, Petey!
Copy !req
559. We took everything!
Copy !req
560. They took everything?
Copy !req
561. Let me call you back, Petey.
Copy !req
562. - They could be anywhere.
- Digging right under our feet.
Copy !req
563. In a sense, we've only made matters worse.
Copy !req
564. We should have stayed out of it.
Copy !req
565. I've got an idea.
Copy !req
566. I still don't have a signal.
ls anybody getting reception?
Copy !req
567. I don't have any signal, but
I've had a problem with that.
Copy !req
568. Crisp up those ducks! Drag those chickens!
Slow down. We're ahead.
Copy !req
569. Where are the apples? Slice them
up and get them in the pan.
Copy !req
570. I can imagine how painful, even
emotionally, that must be for you.
Copy !req
571. It's not the end of the world.
Copy !req
572. But how humiliating, having your
whole tail blown clean off by...
Copy !req
573. Can we drop it?
Copy !req
574. Yeah, really good, sweet, and nice.
Copy !req
575. They say you're a natural. True or false?
Copy !req
576. Answer the question.
Copy !req
577. - True, I guess. - Correct.
Copy !req
578. Get away, Agnes. I need a private
word with Kristofferson.
Copy !req
579. - Just a minute. She... - I don't mind.
Copy !req
580. I just had a brainstorm for
something fantastic I've got to do.
Copy !req
581. But I can't do it alone.
Copy !req
582. - I'm not interested. - Hear me out.
Copy !req
583. No, thanks. Foxes from your side of
the family take unnecessary risks.
Copy !req
584. Only because they've got guts
in their blood. So do we.
Copy !req
585. - Was I a bit rude to Agnes? - Yeah.
Copy !req
586. I should probably say something.
I will in a minute.
Copy !req
587. - What's the brainstorm? - In a nutshell?
Copy !req
588. We're going to steal back my dad's tail.
Copy !req
589. - Okay, chief. - Here we go.
Copy !req
590. Well, it took a near catastrophe for all
of you to finally take me up on my offer
Copy !req
591. to have you over to the
flint-mine for dinner.
Copy !req
592. Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail.
Copy !req
593. Does anybody know what he's talking about?
Copy !req
594. No, Clive's right. In all
seriousness, excuse me, B.
Copy !req
595. We do have these three ugly
farmers to thank for one thing.
Copy !req
596. Reminding us to be thankful
and aware of each other.
Copy !req
597. I'll say it again, aware.
Copy !req
598. - I don't feel safe.
- That's because we're not.
Copy !req
599. You should put your bandit hat on.
Copy !req
600. I don't have one, but I
modified this tube sock.
Copy !req
601. - We look good. - Yeah, we do.
Copy !req
602. Now, where would you keep a prized
tail, if you collected them?
Copy !req
603. - I'd probably hang it over the mantelpiece.
- Right. Good. In fact...
Copy !req
604. What's that smell?
Copy !req
605. Ever tasted one of Mrs. Bean's
famous nutmeg-ginger-apple-snaps?
Copy !req
606. Well, how do you do?
Copy !req
607. They are so warm.
Copy !req
608. We got it wrong.
Copy !req
609. It's not over the mantelpiece.
Copy !req
610. The necktie.
Copy !req
611. - Let's go. - Hang on.
Copy !req
612. - Two more. - She's there.
Copy !req
613. She can't see.
Copy !req
614. Look at each other. Here we are. Wow.
Copy !req
615. I've already had too much to drink
and I'm feeling sentimental
Copy !req
616. but I'll say something anyway,
Copy !req
617. which nobody wants to admit,
but which is probably true.
Copy !req
618. We beat them. We beat those farmers
Copy !req
619. and now we're triumphantly
eating their roasted chicken,
Copy !req
620. their sizzling duck, their succulent
turkey, their foie gras...
Copy !req
621. Where'd the boys go?
Copy !req
622. - Ash! Kristofferson! - Boys!
Copy !req
623. That was crazy. I can't
believe what just happened.
Copy !req
624. Come on, let's get out of here!
Let's go! Where are we?
Copy !req
625. Kristofferson?
Copy !req
626. What am I hearing again, baby? What's happening?
Am I still paranoid?
Copy !req
627. Cider.
Copy !req
628. What happened? Something with cider.
That was dangerous. Is anyone hurt?
Copy !req
629. We're all hurt! My entire
flint-mine got demolished!
Copy !req
630. Apple juice. Apple juice flood.
Copy !req
631. Do a head count. Everybody pick a buddy.
Where'd the boys go?
Copy !req
632. Ash! Kristofferson! Ash!
Copy !req
633. I'm here!
Copy !req
634. - Who's your buddy? - Kristofferson.
Copy !req
635. - Where is he? - I don't know.
Copy !req
636. - Why not? - I lost him.
Copy !req
637. You lost him?
Copy !req
638. We were in the kitchen,
trying to find the necktie.
Copy !req
639. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
640. It's my fault.
Copy !req
641. Where did you get that
nutmeg-ginger-apple-snap,
Copy !req
642. and why are you wearing
that fake bandit hat?
Copy !req
643. We went to steal back your tail.
Copy !req
644. Kristofferson!
Copy !req
645. Wrap this little mutt in a newspaper
Copy !req
646. and put him in a box with some
holes punched in the top.
Copy !req
647. There's one way out of the sewer,
but the manhole cover's closed
Copy !req
648. and a station wagon's parked on it.
Copy !req
649. Which means, we're
permanently stuck down here.
Copy !req
650. You still think we beat them, Foxy?
Copy !req
651. Badger's right. These farmers aren't
going to quit until they catch me.
Copy !req
652. I shouldn't have lied to your face
Copy !req
653. or fallen off the wagon and started
secretly stealing chickens on the sly.
Copy !req
654. I shouldn't have tried to embarrass these
farmers and cuss with their heads.
Copy !req
655. I enjoyed it, but I shouldn't have done it.
Now there's only one way out.
Copy !req
656. If I hand myself over, let them kill me,
Copy !req
657. stuff me and hang me over
their mantelpiece...
Copy !req
658. - You'll do no such thing.
- Maybe they'll let everyone else live.
Copy !req
659. Oh, why did you have to
get us into this, Foxy?
Copy !req
660. I don't know, but I have a possible theory.
Copy !req
661. I think I need everyone to
think I'm the greatest,
Copy !req
662. the "fantastic" Mr. Fox.
Copy !req
663. If they aren't completely knocked out
and dazzled and intimidated by me
Copy !req
664. I don't feel good about myself.
Copy !req
665. Foxes traditionally like to court danger,
hunt prey and outsmart predators.
Copy !req
666. That's what I'm good at.
Copy !req
667. At the end of the day, I'm just...
Copy !req
668. I know. We're wild animals.
Copy !req
669. I guess we always were.
Copy !req
670. If I had all this to do over again,
I'd have never let you down.
Copy !req
671. It was always more fun when
we did it together, anyway.
Copy !req
672. - I love you, Felicity. - I love you, too.
Copy !req
673. But I shouldn't have married you.
Copy !req
674. I tell you about finding
out we were having a cub?
Copy !req
675. - In the fox trap. - Right.
Copy !req
676. - We were at gunpoint, and your mother...
- Said she's pregnant.
Copy !req
677. Let me tell it, okay?
Copy !req
678. I had no idea how to get out of this jam.
Then it hit me.
Copy !req
679. What do foxes do better
than any other animal?
Copy !req
680. - Dig. - You're stepping on my lines.
Copy !req
681. - Keep telling it. - So we dug.
Copy !req
682. And the whole time I put paw over
paw, scooping dirt and pebble,
Copy !req
683. your mother digging like crazy next to me,
Copy !req
684. I kept wondering, who is
this little boy going to be?
Copy !req
685. - Or girl. - Or girl.
Copy !req
686. Because at that point, we didn't know.
Copy !req
687. Ash, I'm so glad he was you.
Copy !req
688. It's not your fault. It's mine.
Copy !req
689. Good-bye.
Copy !req
690. Well, I guess we should probably split
into a certain number of groups
Copy !req
691. and start doing something, right?
Copy !req
692. Could I have a glass of water?
Copy !req
693. Excuse me. Excuse me!
Copy !req
694. Kristofferson! Hello! Can you hear us?
Copy !req
695. Kristofferson!
Copy !req
696. They got the boy.
Copy !req
697. They want to trade the son for his poppa.
Copy !req
698. Why did they write this in
letters cut out of magazines?
Copy !req
699. To protect their identities. Oh, but
then why'd they sign their names?
Copy !req
700. Plus we already knew who they were
because they're trying to kill us.
Copy !req
701. "Mr. Fox, we have your son. If you
ever want to see him alive again..."
Copy !req
702. You took the wrong fox!
Copy !req
703. I'm his son.
Copy !req
704. I can see the resemblance.
Copy !req
705. What was that?
Copy !req
706. Dad!
Copy !req
707. Stop, man, stop!
Copy !req
708. Look at you, girl.
Copy !req
709. You're still as fine-looking
as a crème brûlée.
Copy !req
710. Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?
Copy !req
711. Ash!
Copy !req
712. Let me out!
Copy !req
713. Excuse me. May I cut in?
Copy !req
714. The boy's locked in an apple crate
Copy !req
715. on top of a gun locker in
the attic of Bean Annex.
Copy !req
716. Would you have told me if
I didn't kill you first?
Copy !req
717. Never.
Copy !req
718. All these wasted years. What
were you looking for, Rat?
Copy !req
719. He's trying to say something, Dad.
Copy !req
720. Cider.
Copy !req
721. Here you are, Rat. A beaker of
Bean's finest secret cider.
Copy !req
722. Like melted gold.
Copy !req
723. - He redeemed himself. - Redemption, sure.
Copy !req
724. But in the end, he's just another dead rat
Copy !req
725. in a garbage pail behind
a Chinese restaurant.
Copy !req
726. - He went bananas. - Yes, he did.
Copy !req
727. My suicide mission has been canceled.
Copy !req
728. We're replacing it with a
go-for-broke rescue mission.
Copy !req
729. In a way, I'm almost glad
that flood interrupted us,
Copy !req
730. because I don't like the toast I was giving.
I'm going to start over.
Copy !req
731. When I look down this table, with
the exquisite feast set before us,
Copy !req
732. I see two terrific lawyers,
Copy !req
733. a skilled pediatrician, a wonderful chef,
Copy !req
734. a savvy real estate agent, an
excellent tailor, a crack accountant,
Copy !req
735. a gifted musician, a pretty
good minnow fisherman,
Copy !req
736. and possibly the best landscape
painter working on the scene today.
Copy !req
737. Maybe a few of you might even
read my column from time to time.
Copy !req
738. I tend to doubt it.
Copy !req
739. I also see a room full of wild animals.
Copy !req
740. Wild animals with true
natures and pure talents.
Copy !req
741. With scientific-sounding Latin names
that mean something about our DNA.
Copy !req
742. Each with his own strengths and
weaknesses due to his or her species.
Copy !req
743. Anyway, I think it may very well be all
the beautiful differences among us
Copy !req
744. that might just give us the tiniest
glimmer of a chance of saving my nephew
Copy !req
745. and letting me make it up to you for
getting us into this crazy whatever-it-is.
Copy !req
746. I don't know, it's just a thought. Thank
you for listening. Cheers, everyone.
Copy !req
747. Let's eat!
Copy !req
748. What? I was just playing along
with the bit he was doing.
Copy !req
749. Will you join me?
Copy !req
750. I will.
Copy !req
751. - Oh, all right, I guess. - Thank you.
Copy !req
752. Let's start planning. Who knows shorthand?
Copy !req
753. Great. Linda, Lutra lutra. You
got some dry paper? Here we go.
Copy !req
754. - Mole, Talpa europea. What do you got?
- I can see in the dark.
Copy !req
755. - Incredible. We can use that. Linda?
- Got it.
Copy !req
756. - Rabbit, Oryctolagus cuniculus.
- I'm fast.
Copy !req
757. - You bet you are. Linda? - Got it.
Copy !req
758. - Beaver, Castor fiber.
- I chew through wood.
Copy !req
759. - Amazing! Linda! - Got it.
Copy !req
760. - Badger, Meles meles!
- Demolitions expert.
Copy !req
761. - What? Since when?
- Explosions, flames, burning things!
Copy !req
762. - Demolitions expert. Okay, Linda?
- Got it.
Copy !req
763. - Weasel, Mustela nivalis! - Stop yelling!
Copy !req
764. Ash, get these little kids organized
Copy !req
765. and put together a K.P. unit
to keep this sewer clean.
Copy !req
766. It's good for morale.
Copy !req
767. - Done. What's K.P.?
- Um, I think it means janitors.
Copy !req
768. Me. Yo, over here, hey. I want to go.
I want to fight.
Copy !req
769. Good. Fabulous. Microtus pennsylvanicus.
Copy !req
770. I didn't get a job yet. Or a Latin name.
What's my strength?
Copy !req
771. Listen, you're Kylie. You're
an unbelievably nice guy.
Copy !req
772. Your job is really just
to be available, I think.
Copy !req
773. I don't know your Latin name. I doubt
they had opossums in ancient Rome.
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774. - It's stupendous! Where's us?
- Right here.
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775. Paint an X.
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776. Dear Farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean:
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777. I have no alternative but
to agree to your terms.
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778. Move the station wagon and
open the manhole cover
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779. below the drainpipe by the cobbler shop
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780. and meet me there at 10:00 A.M. sharp.
I will hand myself over to you
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781. in exchange for the boy's safe return.
Cordially, Mr. Fox.
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782. Why'd he write this in letters
cut out of magazines?
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783. I don't know, but you did the same thing.
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784. I don't trust this guy.
Anyway, set up the ambush.
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785. Synchronize your clocks.
The time is now 9:45 A.M.
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786. Put these bandit hats on.
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787. Did you bring the boy?
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788. Of course we did. Say something, kid.
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789. Excuse me. Excuse me!
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790. That doesn't sound anything like him.
It's amateur night in Dixie.
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791. What the cuss is he burning?
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792. Is that all you've got, Mr. Fox?
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793. It's unclear whether these...
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794. 28 pinecones fired, 22 targets hit.
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795. Decoy phase, go.
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796. Yes, sir. Domino Santo, one, two, three.
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797. Dad's on fire!
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798. - Foxy, you're on. - We're ready.
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799. - I'm going to find him and bring him back.
- I know you will.
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800. Contact!
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801. Are you scared of wolves?
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802. No. I have a phobia of them.
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803. - I have a thing about thunder.
- Why? That's stupid.
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804. I don't like needles myself.
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805. Where'd you come from again? How
did you get in the sidecar?
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806. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
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807. I've got a fox on a motorcycle,
with a littler fox
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808. and what looks like to be
an opossum in the sidecar,
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809. riding north on Farm Lane Seven.
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810. Does that sound like anything to anybody?
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811. Red, it's Franklin Bean.
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812. Turn around, get the cuss back
here and pick us up on the ASAP.
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813. - You got a credit card? - Sure.
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814. This is what I was saying about how
good you are, just being available.
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815. A titanium card? How the cuss
did you qualify for this?
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816. I pay my bills on time. I've
always had good credit.
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817. Come on.
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818. What's this thing you do? The
whistle with the clicking sound?
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819. What do you mean? That's my trademark.
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820. Give me a blueberry.
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821. - Blueberry. - You didn't say anything...
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822. You forgot the blueberries? I did say it!
I wrote it on your paw!
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823. Yeah. It's written on
the front of your paw.
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824. - What's that white stuff around his mouth?
- I think he eats soap.
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825. - That's not soap.
- Then why does he have that bubbly...
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826. He's rabid. With rabies. I've
heard about this beagle.
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827. You two go ahead while I distract him.
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828. I can fit through there.
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829. - Want to know why? - Why?
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830. Because I'm little.
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831. Give me that shoelace.
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832. It's me. I'm rescuing you.
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833. - I have mixed feelings about that.
- I don't blame you.
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834. Can you give me a karate lesson real quick?
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835. Okay. Stand like this.
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836. Position yourself on the
balls of your feet.
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837. Close your eyes. You weigh
less than a slice of bread.
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838. I feel there's a tenderness
in your eyes, isn't there?
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839. Yes, I'm right.
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840. Let's review the principal agility
jumping, flipping, landing.
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841. You're a good boy. A little lonely,
maybe, but terribly sweet.
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842. Is your name Spitz?
That's German, isn't it?
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843. Now, a rudimentary version
of the cyclone chop.
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844. First, get a running start, which,
obviously, I can't do here.
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845. Then, at the destination of the chop,
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846. lean and thrust into the point of
contact, paw open and straight,
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847. then withdraw instantaneously.
It's the pull-back that matters.
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848. The pull-back generates
the force of the impact.
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849. Got it.
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850. Yeah, I'm just going to
chop this thing right off.
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851. He's going to do it.
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852. Why, you're just as sweet as a...
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853. I thought he said never
look a beagle in the eye.
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854. - Did you chop it? - Oh, no. Oh, no.
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855. Kristofferson.
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856. Uh, I'm okay.
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857. - I'm okay. - I'm sorry.
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858. That's all right. You were just
trying to unlock the apple crate.
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859. No. I mean I'm sorry about...
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860. Oh, you mean from before. The apology
you owed me, but never actually said.
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861. Right. I'm grumpy. I spit. I wake
up on the wrong side of the bed.
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862. I'm just different, apparently.
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863. But it won't happen again.
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864. Kristofferson, I'm sorry.
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865. Well, that's all right, too.
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866. Throw me the shoelace, please.
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867. You okay?
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868. He's wearing it.
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869. Your tractors uprooted my tree,
your posse hunted my family,
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870. your gunmen kidnapped my nephew,
your rat insulted my wife,
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871. and you shot off my tail.
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872. I'm not leaving here without that necktie.
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873. Kill him!
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874. Actually, we should just go.
Where did I park?
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875. I weigh less than a slice of bread.
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876. - I'll be right back. - Ash!
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877. Dodge the grabbers, duck the
taggers, jump the twig-basket and
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878. knock the cedar-stick off the cross-rock!
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879. Hot box!
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880. Ash, that was pure wild animal craziness.
You're an athlete.
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881. Here, put this bandit hat on.
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882. Goggles.
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883. Are you going to...
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884. Holy swearing cuss!
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885. Petey, bring us a ladder, please.
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886. Stand by!
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887. I just intercepted a high-frequency
radio signal with the can,
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888. they're on their way home!
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889. Don't turn around.
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890. Where'd he come from?
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891. Where'd you come from?
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892. What are you doing here?
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893. Canis lupus.
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894. Vulpes vulpes.
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895. I don't think he speaks English or Latin.
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896. I'm asking if he thinks
we're in for a hard winter.
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897. He doesn't seem to know.
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898. I have a phobia of wolves!
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899. What a beautiful creature.
Wish him luck, boys.
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900. - Good luck, wolf. - Good luck out there.
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901. These three, in this reporter's
opinion, obsessed farmers
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902. remain convinced the fox in question
will eventually reappear. Why?
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903. - Foxes aren't meant to live in a sewer.
- They're refugees.
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904. - All they have to eat down there is...
- Trash!
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905. And not much of it.
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906. Thank you, farmers. For Action
12, this is Dan Peabody.
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907. - What is it?
- His tonsils are a little swollen.
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908. - Is it serious?
- No. Hopefully, he won't have to lose them.
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909. Lose the tonsils?
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910. - I'm hungry. - Have some water. Here.
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911. We try to keep things simple.
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912. This is the first time I've been to a
party where no one serves anything.
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913. My darlings.
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914. - Where are we going? - Nobody knows.
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915. We were in the middle of
a meditation practice.
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916. Watch your step. Let's
see, where does this lead?
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917. Oh, no. Foxy, it's filthy.
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918. - Keep a good grip, everyone.
- This better be worth it.
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919. I think I see a little sliver of light.
What's this? Is it a door?
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920. You're a terrible actor, Foxy.
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921. Do you smell something? Is that Freon?
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922. I'm going to open this trap door and
see if something's on the other side.
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923. I highly doubt it, though. There's
probably just more sewer.
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924. - Wouldn't it be surprising if...
- Open it.
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925. Look, there's a whole enormous,
glorious, gigantic supermarket up here.
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926. And they close early on weekends.
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927. You really are kind of a
quote-unquote "fantastic" fox.
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928. I try. Get enough to share with everybody.
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929. Remember, the Rabbits are vegetarians and
Badger supposedly can't eat walnuts.
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930. I guess now that Kristofferson's dad
is already down to single pneumonia
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931. he'll be going home soon.
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932. Actually, when he spoke
to me from the hospital
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933. he said he was already talking to Weasel
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934. about real estate availability
in our sewer system.
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935. Really? Well, now's the time to buy.
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936. Okay. I get it. Is that your trademark?
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937. - I'm pregnant again. - Wow.
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938. I think we're both glowing.
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939. Do another toast, Dad.
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940. Okay, uh...
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941. They say all foxes are
slightly allergic to linoleum.
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942. But it's cool to the paw. Try it.
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943. They say my tail needs to be
dry-cleaned twice a month.
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944. But now it's fully detachable.
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945. See?
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946. They say our tree may never grow back.
But one day something will.
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947. These crackles are made of synthetic goose
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948. and these giblets come
from artificial squab.
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949. Even these apples look fake. But at
least they've got stars on them.
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950. My point is, we'll eat tonight,
and we'll eat together.
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951. And even in this not
particularly flattering light,
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952. you are without a doubt the 5½
most wonderful wild animals
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953. I've ever met in my life.
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954. So let's raise our boxes.
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955. To our survival.
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956. How was that?
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957. That was a good toast.
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958. English - US
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