1. - Anyone inside?
- Not yet, sir.
Copy !req
2. - Good morning, Mr Forst.
- Good morning, Mr Forst.
Copy !req
3. Good morning, Mr Forst.
Copy !req
4. I have some correspondence
and some papers for you to sign.
Copy !req
5. Don't bother me with that stuff.
Copy !req
6. - Would you like some coffee?
- No.
Copy !req
7. - You look lousy.
- You're not in a good mood?
Copy !req
8. - Anything I can do for you?
- I'll give you a list of my maladies.
Copy !req
9. You better give me a cup of coffee.
Copy !req
10. I don't want to yawn
in Mrs Miniver's face.
Copy !req
11. - Yes, sir.
- Hmm?
Copy !req
12. Here you are.
Copy !req
13. Will you take this thing
out of my mouth?
Copy !req
14. - Okay.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
15. - Good morning.
- Good morning, Miss Whiteford.
Copy !req
16. Hello, Nita.
How'd they get you out of bed?
Copy !req
17. Aw, shut up.
Copy !req
18. Harry. Oh, you know Harry Selfrine.
Copy !req
19. Do I know Harry Selfrine?
Do I know Harry.
Copy !req
20. Good morning.
Copy !req
21. - Jim Mortensen.
- Nice boy.
Copy !req
22. Kazmier, Edward.
Copy !req
23. Do you know Richard Forst, our manager?
Copy !req
24. - Hello, darling. Lang. L-A-N-G.
- How are you, dear?
Copy !req
25. - Good morning, Mr Draper.
- All right.
Copy !req
26. When I was a kid,
we used to play a game called,
Copy !req
27. "Your mother wears army shoes".
Copy !req
28. I'm not your mother. Sit down.
Copy !req
29. —Do you know Frederick P. Draper?
Copy !req
30. Thank you, Emily Dickinson.
Copy !req
31. - Here you are.
- Thank you very much.
Copy !req
32. Thank you.
Copy !req
33. What are you gonna
sell us this time, Harry?
Copy !req
34. Money.
Copy !req
35. Actually, it's a very good film.
Copy !req
36. We call it the, uh,
Dolce Vita of the commercial field.
Copy !req
37. Is that so?
Copy !req
38. I don't mean to insinuate
it's a crude film.
Copy !req
39. We were trying to capture
several approaches.
Copy !req
40. What Jim means is that we really...
Copy !req
41. No, no. That's not what I mean at all.
Copy !req
42. We were talking facts and figures until
we practically went out of our minds.
Copy !req
43. Losses, gains, ratings, schmatings.
Copy !req
44. You can lose your mind
if you keep analysing things like that.
Copy !req
45. Then we came up with
an impressionistic document that shocks.
Copy !req
46. Is that so?
Copy !req
47. I don't think it so much shocks
as it's honest.
Copy !req
48. It's honest,
but it's a good piece in itself.
Copy !req
49. So, you see, we're a little nervous
about hitting you with this.
Copy !req
50. Oh, now, they've got nothing
to be nervous about.
Copy !req
51. It's a shot in the dark,
but it's strong and it's attractive.
Copy !req
52. It better be
better than the last one, Harry.
Copy !req
53. I think I'll loan you my sleeping pills.
Copy !req
54. You know, I have insomnia
Copy !req
55. and I stay awake all night looking
at pictures, worrying about pictures.
Copy !req
56. I walk all over the place.
Copy !req
57. Let's see it, J.P.
Copy !req
58. I'd rather hear 'em talk about it again.
Copy !req
59. We'll talk about it later.
J.P.
Copy !req
60. All right, Arnold. Roll it.
Copy !req
61. You're after my money, huh?
Copy !req
62. You're not gonna drink this? Too bad.
Copy !req
63. Never let good liquor go to waste.
Copy !req
64. Ida. Ida, I adore you.
Copy !req
65. Never let good liquor go to waste.
Copy !req
66. - Arrivederci! Ciao!
- Go on. Beat it.
Copy !req
67. - Scusa pleasa. Bye-bye.
- So long, sucker.
Copy !req
68. I'll drive. I'll drive.
Give me the keys. Give me the keys.
Copy !req
69. Give me the keys. I'll drive.
Copy !req
70. Don't make any noise, Jeannie.
Here, Freddie.
Copy !req
71. —No, no, Freddie.
Copy !req
72. Drink, drink, drink.
Freddie.
Copy !req
73. —Drink, drink, drink, drink.
Copy !req
74. - Come on.
- No, I don't care if we wake 'em.
Copy !req
75. We'll get 'em all a drink.
Copy !req
76. Let everybody come in and have a drink.
Copy !req
77. Oh. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
78. - Shh!
- Ah!
Copy !req
79. What are you doing?
Copy !req
80. What the hell are we doing here?
Copy !req
81. There's just... All of a sudden,
Copy !req
82. we just joined the clan
of I-don't-give-a-damners.
Copy !req
83. Wake up and have a good time
Copy !req
84. before the bad fairy comes
and makes it midnight!
Copy !req
85. Say, listen. If there's anything
I can't stand, it's a bad fairy.
Copy !req
86. What the hell do you know
about Cinderella?
Copy !req
87. Look, now. Sit down.
I wanna tell you something.
Copy !req
88. Just sit down. Sit down.
Copy !req
89. Don't let this sophisticated
exterior fool you.
Copy !req
90. I believe in Aesop's Fables
and Walt Disney.
Copy !req
91. All right, Freddie. Okay. All right.
Copy !req
92. "All right" my left eyeball!
Copy !req
93. We met at a bar.
Copy !req
94. - Right, Jeannie?
- Right.
Copy !req
95. And it was love at first sight.
Right, Jeannie?
Copy !req
96. - Right.
- We were thrown out by Morey.
Copy !req
97. But we had laughs.
Copy !req
98. - Right?
- Right!
Copy !req
99. Shut up. Who asked ya?
Copy !req
100. Listen.
Copy !req
101. I think Forst is a holier-than-thou.
Copy !req
102. - I am not.
- Who asked ya? Now, cool it.
Copy !req
103. You go to a psychiatrist,
don't you, Dickie?
Copy !req
104. - No, I don't.
- Well, you look Freudian.
Copy !req
105. - I never even met a psychiatrist.
- He looks like Sigmund.
Copy !req
106. Yes, he does!
Copy !req
107. Do you know that Freud said if you go to
the bathroom, it's supposed to be sexy?
Copy !req
108. Oh! Oh! Oh!
Copy !req
109. Sick, sick, sick, sick!
Copy !req
110. Come on, now. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
111. Wait a minute!
What the hell are we talking about?
Copy !req
112. - Who cares?
- Who cares?
Copy !req
113. Yeah. For a minute or two we act stupid.
We have a good time.
Copy !req
114. Who does it hurt? I mean,
who makes up the rules anyway?
Copy !req
115. I mean, always play it cool,
always put everybody down.
Copy !req
116. Standing around a corner
looking out the side of your eye,
Copy !req
117. see if anybody's lookin' at ya.
Copy !req
118. - Listen. Hell, fellas. I'm 28...
- Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Copy !req
119. I'm 23 years old, and it's time
for me to forget myself, right?
Copy !req
120. Right!
Copy !req
121. - Down with the middle class!
- Right.
Copy !req
122. - Down with the white-collar workers!
- Down, down, down!
Copy !req
123. - Down, down with the...
- I'll give you the swiftest pain
Copy !req
124. in the behind that was ever invented!
Copy !req
125. Down with the, uh, lecturers
and do-gooders.
Copy !req
126. - You know who I hate?
- Down with squealers.
Copy !req
127. - On television!
- I hate cheap people.
Copy !req
128. Down with hospitals that keep people
waiting until they get paid.
Copy !req
129. - Right.
- Some hospitals are okay.
Copy !req
130. Down with hospitals!
Copy !req
131. - Don't bully me!
- Don't bully her!
Copy !req
132. - You shut up.
- Down with gossip columns!
Copy !req
133. And to hell with politics.
It stinks!
Copy !req
134. Kill the finks for something!
Copy !req
135. Down with Sunday schools!
Copy !req
136. I like Sunday schools.
Copy !req
137. Hey, I got one.
Copy !req
138. What is it?
Copy !req
139. Down with friendship.
I think it's phony.
Copy !req
140. Atta girl!
Copy !req
141. Oh, wait a minute. You don't know
what you're talking about.
Copy !req
142. Friendship is a tradition.
Friendship is useful.
Copy !req
143. Dickie, I got the most terrible friends.
Copy !req
144. I don't care.
Copy !req
145. - Sometimes you need a friend.
- So buy a dog!
Copy !req
146. Oh, I'm talkin' about us, stupid!
Why are you so stupid?
Copy !req
147. You know how long I've known this jerk?
Copy !req
148. - Well, Dickie, he's just... Dickie.
- No, no, no.
Copy !req
149. I'm not one of these guys
who has a few...
Copy !req
150. - I know. Ah, he didn't mean it.
- Oh. There he is.
Copy !req
151. Come on out, and to hell with the family
and responsibilities.
Copy !req
152. That's right.
Copy !req
153. Come on. Let's ball it up, old buddy.
We don't even know each other.
Copy !req
154. I'm talking about somebody deep down!
Copy !req
155. - That's right. That's right.
- I'm talk...
Copy !req
156. He's gonna cry. Do something. Freddie!
Copy !req
157. I'm talking about something...
Copy !req
158. Oh, Dickie, Dickie, Dickie.
Copy !req
159. Hi, ho, Silver, away!
Copy !req
160. Get 'em up, Scout!
The Lone Ranger rides again.
Copy !req
161. Masked bandits. Get 'em, Tonto!
Copy !req
162. Aaah! Aaah!
Copy !req
163. Aaah! My hand!
Copy !req
164. Oh, and I shot your hand.
That's a silver bullet.
Copy !req
165. Hi, ho, Silver, away!
Copy !req
166. Hey, Jeannie. Hey, Jeannie.
Copy !req
167. Did you hear the one
about the goose
Copy !req
168. that went down into the subway
and got peopled to death?
Copy !req
169. Oh, isn't that...
Copy !req
170. Listen, do you know that Dickie and I...
Copy !req
171. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
172. Hey, Freddie.
Copy !req
173. Remember that time
we auditioned for the nightclub?
Copy !req
174. Ah, it closed! Hey, Freddie, let's do
one of our routines for Jeannie, eh?
Copy !req
175. Come on. Come on. Let's do it.
Copy !req
176. Well, come on!
Copy !req
177. It wasn't funny then, buddy,
and a hundred years wouldn't change it.
Copy !req
178. Listen, Freddie,
after what I saw on television,
Copy !req
179. I'm not ashamed of any of our routines.
Copy !req
180. - Now, come on. Come on.
- Come on. I do want to see it.
Copy !req
181. - Come on!
- All right! Let's do it.
Copy !req
182. - Come on, you crazy, shy son of a bitch.
- Go ahead.
Copy !req
183. Up on your feet.
Copy !req
184. Come on. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
185. - She doesn't want to see it.
- Come on! I'll do that goddamn routine!
Copy !req
186. - No. To hell with ya.
- Come on! Hey, listen. Get this.
Copy !req
187. Ladies and gentlemen,
the great Siegfried!
Copy !req
188. Yay! Yay!
Copy !req
189. Bow! Bow, will ya! Bow!
Copy !req
190. Aw, come on, Dickie! Bow!
Copy !req
191. Oh, phooey! Phooey, phooey, phooey!
Copy !req
192. He spoiled the whole goddamn act.
Copy !req
193. When the drum roll begins,
he's supposed to bow.
Copy !req
194. All right, you big chickens.
I'll do mine.
Copy !req
195. - Okay, you ready? Listen.
- I'm ready!
Copy !req
196. Neither one of you's
a communist, are you?
Copy !req
197. - Well, uh...
- Oh, I don't care.
Copy !req
198. I made this up. All right?
Copy !req
199. Whee!
Copy !req
200. Oh! Oh! Oh!
Copy !req
201. - Come on, Dickie. Come on.
- What?
Copy !req
202. Now, listen. Get the picture.
Copy !req
203. - Stand up there.
- This is a fine...
Copy !req
204. This is a fine impression
we'll make with the lady, huh?
Copy !req
205. - Stand up there!
- "Stand up there."
Copy !req
206. Listen. Get the picture.
Copy !req
207. - We...
- Boy, this is ridiculous!
Copy !req
208. - Look, we're gonna do it...
- All right.
Copy !req
209. if my heart doesn't give out.
Copy !req
210. Are you ready? Now, get the picture.
Copy !req
211. Pinpoint spot.
Copy !req
212. - I got the picture. I got it.
- Got it?
Copy !req
213. - Achtung!
- Achtung!
Copy !req
214. - Right turn!
- Right turn!
Copy !req
215. - Right turn!
- Shoulders back!
Copy !req
216. Back!
Copy !req
217. Cut.
Copy !req
218. - Attention.
- Attenzione!
Copy !req
219. Ooh!
Copy !req
220. Ta-da!
Copy !req
221. And I'm supposed to act
like it's all a big mistake.
Copy !req
222. - It's wonderful. You're wonderful.
- Ooh, Jeannie.
Copy !req
223. You're great.
Copy !req
224. And now...
Copy !req
225. And now, if you'll excuse me,
Copy !req
226. I'm going into the boudoir to change
into something more comfortable.
Copy !req
227. Don't worry. You shall feel
many guilt's but remain pure.
Copy !req
228. Oh. My heart.
Copy !req
229. It's beating.
Copy !req
230. - I'm so excited.
- Shit!
Copy !req
231. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
232. What are we doin' on our knees?
Copy !req
233. What is the matter with you?
Copy !req
234. She's gonna change!
Copy !req
235. Ooh, Dickie. Remember when we didn't
have to worry about our wives and kids?
Copy !req
236. Oh, God!
Copy !req
237. Yeah.
Copy !req
238. Phew.
Copy !req
239. Mmm.
Copy !req
240. Remember when we had our own apartment
Copy !req
241. and all the girls would
come up and see us?
Copy !req
242. And they'd mix drinks for us,
Copy !req
243. and they would cook us
anything we wanted,
Copy !req
244. and then they'd give us their money
and go to bed with us.
Copy !req
245. - Don't you remember?
- It never happened.
Copy !req
246. Of course it did. Don't you remember
Copy !req
247. Connie and Julie
and what the hell's her name?
Copy !req
248. - The one with the...
- I don't know.
Copy !req
249. Oh, my God, Dickie! You're getting old
and grey, and I'm getting fat and grey.
Copy !req
250. What the hell's she doing in there?
Copy !req
251. Sing it, Dickie.
Copy !req
252. Hey, uh...
Copy !req
253. By the way, Jeannie, what do you charge?
Copy !req
254. Oh, Freddie.
Copy !req
255. Aw, Freddie. Aw, no, Freddie.
Copy !req
256. Don't spoil it, Freddie. Please.
Copy !req
257. Spoil what?
Copy !req
258. Honey, I'm game for anything.
Copy !req
259. I just want to know how much you charge.
Copy !req
260. It's legitimate, isn't it?
Copy !req
261. I know I have to pay.
Copy !req
262. I'm not too schooled in these things,
Copy !req
263. but I know somewhere along the line,
Copy !req
264. your little hand's gonna find its way
into my pocket.
Copy !req
265. You're shocked, aren't you,
old Dickie, old pal?
Copy !req
266. What do you think she is?
Copy !req
267. You think she's some clean towel
that's never been used?
Copy !req
268. My God, Dickie.
You think you don't pay?
Copy !req
269. How many times a week
does Maria ask you for some money?
Copy !req
270. Money, Charlie, is a necessity.
Copy !req
271. And don't you think that
you don't work for it and pay for it.
Copy !req
272. My God, wait. What is this?
Copy !req
273. He thinks I'm insulting you.
I'm offering you.
Copy !req
274. Hell, look!
Copy !req
275. What's the matter?
Copy !req
276. If I went to one of
those fancy restaurants,
Copy !req
277. I'd probably tip the head waiter,
the waiter, the busboy,
Copy !req
278. and a hundred bucks
goes flying down the drain.
Copy !req
279. And I couldn't have any more fun
than I could with Jeannie here.
Copy !req
280. - Let go of my girl.
- Dickie, wait. Please.
Copy !req
281. Please. Please. Please.
Copy !req
282. Don't be shocked.
Copy !req
283. It's like this. Fred is a very sad man.
Copy !req
284. - Now, you...
- Will you let me finish!
Copy !req
285. Because you're a man
who doesn't say what you mean very well.
Copy !req
286. What you meant was
this was a wonderful evening,
Copy !req
287. and you enjoy my house and you like me.
Copy !req
288. But like you said, you're crude.
Copy !req
289. I'm sorry.
Honey, I was only tryin' to be funny.
Copy !req
290. I thought you said
you were trying to be funny.
Copy !req
291. Well, you go with your... You go!
If you're in such a damned hurry.
Copy !req
292. My reputation's at stake here!
Copy !req
293. Ah.
Copy !req
294. Good night.
Copy !req
295. Good night, Jeannie.
Copy !req
296. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
297. I don't know how you do it.
Copy !req
298. Well, I just...
Copy !req
299. I just close my eyes and I...
Copy !req
300. I see how much liquor I can swallow.
Copy !req
301. I pray that I'll die and be
martyred by the church
Copy !req
302. for my service to humanity.
Copy !req
303. You're a lovely girl.
Copy !req
304. I'm too old to be lovely.
Copy !req
305. And I haven't got a heart of gold.
Copy !req
306. The nights are long,
and Little Orphan Annie
Copy !req
307. of Hard Knoxville
gets tough, you know.
Copy !req
308. I think I'd better go.
Copy !req
309. Then go ahead! Get the hell out!
Copy !req
310. Beat it, snowball!
Copy !req
311. - Right?
- Right.
Copy !req
312. You're on your own again.
Copy !req
313. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
314. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
315. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
316. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
317. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
318. Come here.
Copy !req
319. Well, how did you find that out?
Copy !req
320. It's very important, but I don't think
there's anything you can do about it.
Copy !req
321. - Maria, I want to talk to ya.
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
322. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
323. Louise, I just came home
from the office.
Copy !req
324. Yes, I had a very hard day
and something important came up.
Copy !req
325. Can she call you back later?
Copy !req
326. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
327. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
328. Yeah?
Copy !req
329. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
330. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
331. Louise, we'll call you back later.
Goodbye.
Copy !req
332. I'm gonna have a drink. You kill me.
Copy !req
333. Yeah? Why do I kill ya?
Copy !req
334. Why do I kill ya?
Copy !req
335. Why do I kill ya, huh?
Copy !req
336. Why? What do you want to drink?
Copy !req
337. Whatever it is, I want it on the rocks,
straight and dirty,
Copy !req
338. because I feel
very, very bitchy tonight.
Copy !req
339. Well, I feel very, very bitchy, too.
That makes two of us.
Copy !req
340. Blue Monday for me today.
Copy !req
341. All day the phone rang and rang.
"Hello, Maria?"Goodbye, Maria."
Copy !req
342. - "Hello, darling."Goodbye, darling."
- Hello, darling.
Copy !req
343. Your sense of humour's
going to destroy our marriage someday.
Copy !req
344. I wasn't trying to be funny.
Copy !req
345. Listen, Maria,
go get me a cigarette, will ya?
Copy !req
346. Ooh, we're out! I'm sorry.
I smoked myself silly today.
Copy !req
347. - You're such a conformist.
- Like hell I am!
Copy !req
348. Dickie, why don't you take me
to a movie, okay?
Copy !req
349. Why doesn't somebody
fill these stupid boxes?
Copy !req
350. You smoke too much.
Copy !req
351. There's a Bergman film
in the neighbourhood.
Copy !req
352. I don't feel like
getting depressed tonight.
Copy !req
353. But you always love foreign film.
Copy !req
354. - Where the hell are the cigarettes?
- We're out!
Copy !req
355. - What are you getting so huffy about?
- There's nothing on television tonight.
Copy !req
356. If I had a cigarette, I could think.
Copy !req
357. - You're hungry.
- Right!
Copy !req
358. But you're always hungry.
Copy !req
359. That's because I always
come home at dinner time.
Copy !req
360. Oh, I love you when you look like that.
Copy !req
361. Look like what?
Tell me quick, and I'll write it down.
Copy !req
362. - You wanna fight, huh?
- Yeah, I wanna fight.
Copy !req
363. Smug. I knew it the first time
I looked at you.
Copy !req
364. - The better-than-you expression.
- That's right.
Copy !req
365. I'm the pompous puke of all times.
Copy !req
366. Yeah, and you smell like a brewery, too.
Copy !req
367. And I smell like a brewery, too.
Copy !req
368. And you'll take me to a movie show?
Copy !req
369. I'll take you
Copy !req
370. any place that your little heart desires
Copy !req
371. if you'll just keep that lovely mouth
of yours closed for a couple of seconds.
Copy !req
372. I have a lovely dinner for you.
Copy !req
373. Come on. Take off your coat
and stay a while, bright eyes.
Copy !req
374. Well, that sounds like
some kind of a proposition.
Copy !req
375. Oh, Dickie, you're so innocent,
Copy !req
376. it's hard to get through
to you sometimes.
Copy !req
377. Oh, really?
Copy !req
378. - No place like home.
- What?
Copy !req
379. - I said have you ever been to Rome?
- Italy?
Copy !req
380. I love you.
Copy !req
381. But you always love me
when I bring food.
Copy !req
382. - Well, that's because I'm a glutton.
- Were you with Fred tonight?
Copy !req
383. - Yeah.
- I think he's a terrible father.
Copy !req
384. He never talks to the kids
or plays with 'em.
Copy !req
385. The kids are grown up.
Copy !req
386. Nineteen isn't grown.
Copy !req
387. I don't like Fred any more.
Copy !req
388. - Well, why don't you like Fred any more?
- Because
Copy !req
389. he cheats on his wife.
Copy !req
390. - Now, who told you that?
- Louise.
Copy !req
391. Oh, Louise.
Copy !req
392. - Oh.
- Fred talks in his sleep.
Copy !req
393. He comes home at night and he just
stares at her. Doesn't say a word.
Copy !req
394. They have a drink. Silence.
Copy !req
395. - They eat, they say nothing.
- Salt and pepper, please.
Copy !req
396. They get into bed and they say nothing.
Copy !req
397. And I forgot,
he just barely looks at the kids,
Copy !req
398. and Louise says
that it's because of that.
Copy !req
399. Because of what?
Copy !req
400. Well, she reads,
and he just rolls over and goes to sleep
Copy !req
401. and talks to all these different girls.
Copy !req
402. And Louise says that they have to be
in compromising positions.
Copy !req
403. Good old Freddie.
Copy !req
404. He says things like...
Copy !req
405. Like, "Roll over".
Copy !req
406. "Let's try that again." Yeah.
Copy !req
407. Things like that.
Copy !req
408. Things like that, huh?
Copy !req
409. And do you know what he did with...
Copy !req
410. Do you know what he did with Darlene?
Copy !req
411. Darlene? Who the hell's Darlene?
Copy !req
412. The girl in his dream.
Copy !req
413. Oh.
Copy !req
414. Well, what did he do with Darlene?
Copy !req
415. Huh?
Copy !req
416. You ain't gonna tell me?
Copy !req
417. He kiss... He kisses her.
Copy !req
418. You know.
Copy !req
419. Oh.
Copy !req
420. You mean, he goes...
Copy !req
421. You... You mean he goes...
Copy !req
422. Bad!
Copy !req
423. - Is that what you mean?
- No.
Copy !req
424. No.
Copy !req
425. I... Yes, but...
Copy !req
426. He says for her to do it to him.
Copy !req
427. - That's funny.
- When he gets...
Copy !req
428. - Well...
- Well, that's what he said.
Copy !req
429. Yeah, well, you know,
Freddie's getting on in years.
Copy !req
430. And a man Freddie's age...
Copy !req
431. You're Fred's age!
Copy !req
432. Yeah, but sexual nightmares
are not one of my problems.
Copy !req
433. Besides, what the hell has that got to
do with Fred being a good father?
Copy !req
434. Huh?
Copy !req
435. Well, I...
Copy !req
436. I'm sorry I talk too much.
Copy !req
437. Well, you know, Fred puts up
with his kids' asinine friends.
Copy !req
438. - You know that?
- I...
Copy !req
439. His kids wanna drink, he lets 'em drink.
Copy !req
440. They want to smoke, he lets them smoke.
Copy !req
441. He... Well, he sends
the sons of bitches to college.
Copy !req
442. They each have their own cars, you know.
Copy !req
443. And he gives them 50 bucks a week
spending money.
Copy !req
444. Can you imagine that?
Copy !req
445. And his daughter is beautiful.
Copy !req
446. His son is a big 6'3" hunk of man,
Copy !req
447. and the girls think he's cute.
Copy !req
448. And he's got Simon, a 1-year-old baby.
Copy !req
449. I wish I was that kind of a father.
Copy !req
450. Well, we weren't discussing
that part of it anyway.
Copy !req
451. I'm talking about it
from a woman's point of view.
Copy !req
452. Oh.
Copy !req
453. A woman's point of...
Copy !req
454. A woman's point of view. Oh, God.
Copy !req
455. I can't go to the goddamn movie
with you.
Copy !req
456. Jesus Christ Almighty. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
457. I can... I can see it all now.
Copy !req
458. Boy. You know, one of these days,
Copy !req
459. you girls are gonna go, "Charge!"
Copy !req
460. And you know somethin' funny?
Copy !req
461. We'll all surrender,
and you can have everything.
Copy !req
462. You can have the house
and the cars and the office
Copy !req
463. and the bills and the headaches,
Copy !req
464. and we'll sit home and laugh!
Copy !req
465. That's what we're gonna do.
Copy !req
466. All we ask for is peace.
Copy !req
467. To give us our daily beating and three
square meals a day and bread and water
Copy !req
468. and we'll just sit staring at the sun,
Copy !req
469. going blind, okay?
Copy !req
470. Oh, I'm so sorry. Do we emasculate you?
Copy !req
471. Poor little boy losing his virility.
Copy !req
472. Well, I don't have it any more!
Copy !req
473. - What happened to it, huh?
- I just don't appeal to you.
Copy !req
474. Oh, you appeal to me all right.
Copy !req
475. When I come home, you appeal to me.
Copy !req
476. When I'm at the office,
you appeal to me.
Copy !req
477. I am not a sex machine!
Copy !req
478. - No, you want to go to the movies!
- Because I'm bored.
Copy !req
479. That's how you get your jollies!
Copy !req
480. - Don't be crude!
- Crude, schmude. I'm crude!
Copy !req
481. The minute you get home,
you wanna jump into bed.
Copy !req
482. That's the general idea.
Copy !req
483. Why did the man
throw the clock out the window? Huh?
Copy !req
484. He wanted to see time fly.
Copy !req
485. What does Dracula do
every night at midnight?
Copy !req
486. He takes a coffin break!
Copy !req
487. What is it that's blue and whistles
Copy !req
488. and hangs in a delicatessen?
Copy !req
489. Aren't you gonna say,
"But a herring doesn't whistle"?
Copy !req
490. Huh? Aren't you gonna say,
"But a herring isn't blue"?
Copy !req
491. You're not gonna say that?
How can I get to the joke?
Copy !req
492. What is it that weighs 5,000 pounds
and has got a stick through it?
Copy !req
493. A hippo-popsicle.
Copy !req
494. What is it that's black and white
and red all over?
Copy !req
495. - A newspaper.
- No. A zebra's ass.
Copy !req
496. You don't think
I'm very funny, do ya, huh?
Copy !req
497. Of course I think you're funny.
Copy !req
498. Well, I could...
I could be funnier, you know.
Copy !req
499. I really could.
Copy !req
500. - If I tried a little harder.
- Maybe you're not all that funny.
Copy !req
501. Good night.
Copy !req
502. - Dickie, I'm sorry.
- I want a divorce.
Copy !req
503. - Did you hear what I said?
- Oh, Dickie.
Copy !req
504. I want a divorce.
Copy !req
505. That's the only thing to do, isn't it?
Copy !req
506. Well, why don't you laugh?
Copy !req
507. It's funny.
Copy !req
508. Well, what's your answer?
Copy !req
509. Answer me!
Copy !req
510. Hello, Jeannie?
Copy !req
511. Hold on a minute.
Copy !req
512. I'll send for my clothes in the morning.
I'm not coming back.
Copy !req
513. I'm on the phone.
Copy !req
514. This is Richard Forst. Hi.
Copy !req
515. I'd like to see you tonight.
Copy !req
516. Well, it's very important.
Copy !req
517. Well, how busy are you?
Copy !req
518. Well, I could meet you
at the Losers Club.
Copy !req
519. Twenty, thirty minutes.
Copy !req
520. Take as long as you like.
Copy !req
521. Fine.
Copy !req
522. I'll see you later.
Copy !req
523. If you think I look like silly
in this outfit,
Copy !req
524. you oughta see me in a bathing suit.
Copy !req
525. I look like a pair of pliers
with a Band-Aid on.
Copy !req
526. I'm in such bad shape.
Copy !req
527. I really am.
Copy !req
528. I got a frog in my throat.
Copy !req
529. First meat that's passed
that way in an hour.
Copy !req
530. I just wanted you to see my suit.
Copy !req
531. Seersucker. Sears made it, and you're
lookin' at the sucker that bought it.
Copy !req
532. On top of that, I'm so flat-footed,
when I get out of the bathtub,
Copy !req
533. somebody has to rock me back and forth
to break the suction.
Copy !req
534. But, uh, the postman came with a letter
Copy !req
535. and told me that the Great Society
was having a war on poverty.
Copy !req
536. So, uh, I told him if that was true,
I wanted to be the first to surrender.
Copy !req
537. There once was a girl from...
Copy !req
538. who played the violin.
Copy !req
539. Uh, she tucked it under her chin.
Copy !req
540. She plucked at her strings...
Copy !req
541. Like angel wings.
Copy !req
542. She plucked at her strings,
among numerous things,
Copy !req
543. and tucked it under her chin.
Copy !req
544. - Well, Mr McCarthy.
- Jim.
Copy !req
545. Jamie McCarthy.
Copy !req
546. - Jamie.
- Oh, that's a fine name. Fine.
Copy !req
547. - My mother used to call me Jamie.
- Did she now?
Copy !req
548. Say, how would you like
to call me Mother?
Copy !req
549. Come on, will ya?
Copy !req
550. I'm old enough to be your father.
Copy !req
551. Listen. Listen.
Copy !req
552. In that case,
I'd like some fatherly advice.
Copy !req
553. - All right.
- I have a terrible problem.
Copy !req
554. What's your problem, daughter?
Copy !req
555. - Well, this fellow, a friend...
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
556. an Irish friend,
he just called me from the bar,
Copy !req
557. and he's in terrible trouble
and wants me to come rescue him.
Copy !req
558. - What do you think of that?
- What do you think of it?
Copy !req
559. Well, I'm asking for your advice.
You're the wise one.
Copy !req
560. Be a hero. Tell me. Come on.
Copy !req
561. - Hey, Jackson.
- Yo.
Copy !req
562. —Hey, Jackson.
Copy !req
563. Remember the time
we went to New Orleans on a bet?
Copy !req
564. Yes, sir, I do.
Copy !req
565. We stayed up all night
screaming at the top of our lungs.
Copy !req
566. We had a...
Copy !req
567. We had a... My nose itches.
Copy !req
568. - We had a...
- Going to kiss a fool?
Copy !req
569. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
570. We had a couple bimbos.
No, actually, they were very nice girls.
Copy !req
571. - They reminded me a lot of you two.
- Oh.
Copy !req
572. But they knew more dirty limericks
than you could shake a stick at.
Copy !req
573. How nice.
Copy !req
574. Well, I knew a guy who used to make
them up and sell them.
Copy !req
575. Really? He must have been an ex-convict.
Copy !req
576. - That's right. Don't look so wide-eyed.
- I'm not wide-eyed.
Copy !req
577. Do you realise that
ex-convicts and jailbirds
Copy !req
578. are the ones that
write all the limericks?
Copy !req
579. Not all of them.
Copy !req
580. Oh, don't argue with Mr McCarthy, miss.
Copy !req
581. Jimmy Arno, he wrote a couple that
were really funny. Didn't he, Jeannie?
Copy !req
582. - That's right. He did.
- Jimmy Arno?
Copy !req
583. - Mmm-hmm.
- Jimmy Arno? Not the Jimmy Arno.
Copy !req
584. - Do you know him?
- Never heard of him.
Copy !req
585. Aw, come on, now.
Copy !req
586. What the hell do we care
about two whores?
Copy !req
587. - You better watch...
- Wait a minute!
Copy !req
588. - Two whores!
- I don't want you around!
Copy !req
589. Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
590. - You don't want us around?
- That's right.
Copy !req
591. Look who's saying
she doesn't want us around!
Copy !req
592. - You're coming on awfully strong.
- Just who in the hell are you, huh?
Copy !req
593. Just who in the hell are you?
Copy !req
594. Wait a minute. Take it easy.
What's the matter with you?
Copy !req
595. Why be so violent?
Copy !req
596. Take it easy. Just relax.
Wait a minute, Jeannie. Wait, Jeannie.
Copy !req
597. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
598. Can I have a cigarette?
Copy !req
599. Let me close this door.
Copy !req
600. All right. I won't close the door.
Copy !req
601. Ah, boy, what a life!
Copy !req
602. Ah, what's the matter, Jeannie?
Don't you like me? Hmm?
Copy !req
603. Why not? Come on. I can take criticism.
Copy !req
604. Hmm? What's the matter with me?
Copy !req
605. You don't want me to be crude?
All right, I won't be crude.
Copy !req
606. Jeannie... Jeannie, I'm a nice guy.
Copy !req
607. Would you think that
I weigh 190 pounds? Huh?
Copy !req
608. You're married.
Copy !req
609. Oh, Jeannie, am I married.
Copy !req
610. Yeah, I'm married.
Copy !req
611. I got a son almost as old as you.
Copy !req
612. He thinks he's a grown man.
Copy !req
613. He goes to college.
Copy !req
614. I wanted him to go to one of those
Midwestern schools and play football,
Copy !req
615. but his mother said, "No. No football".
Copy !req
616. So he said, "All right. What the hell.
Okay, no football".
Copy !req
617. So instead he goes to Dartmouth.
Copy !req
618. Goes out for tennis instead.
Copy !req
619. All day long he walks around
in tennis shoes.
Copy !req
620. What kind of a thing is that
for a grown boy
Copy !req
621. to walk around in tennis shoes
all day long?
Copy !req
622. What the hell. He's my son.
Copy !req
623. Even if he wants to nance around,
I say, "So what?"
Copy !req
624. Everybody's gotta Iead
their own life, right?
Copy !req
625. So, he goes out for swimming and track,
Copy !req
626. and wears tennis shoes.
Copy !req
627. Jeannie, do you know what it is to be
a promo man in a firm like mine, huh?
Copy !req
628. I'll tell ya.
Copy !req
629. You meet more millionaires
and more presidents
Copy !req
630. than you dream could exist.
Copy !req
631. And that seems like
a big thing to you, huh?
Copy !req
632. So, what have I got
after all those years?
Copy !req
633. A big house, a kooky wife
and a kid who wears sneakers.
Copy !req
634. Hey, Jeannie baby!
Hey. You're all right, Jeannie baby!
Copy !req
635. Whoo!
Copy !req
636. Hey. Turn out these lights, will ya?
Copy !req
637. Looks like an office in here.
Copy !req
638. How do you expect to make out
with all these lights on?
Copy !req
639. What do you say, Slick?
Copy !req
640. Hey. You know what?
You've got quite a tummy.
Copy !req
641. You've got... Hasn't he got a... Huh?
Copy !req
642. Hey, how about a little kiss
for my buddy?
Copy !req
643. How about a... Ooh!
Copy !req
644. Stay. Have a good time.
Stella, lock up when you go.
Copy !req
645. Wait a minute. Where you goin'? Hold on!
Copy !req
646. - Leave me alone.
- Will you leave her alone!
Copy !req
647. Just get out of here!
Copy !req
648. Now, what are you makin'
a scene for? Huh?
Copy !req
649. - Come on. Give me a break.
- Give you a break?
Copy !req
650. Why? You think you deserve a break?
Copy !req
651. - Look, I met this guy.
- You met this guy. So?
Copy !req
652. - Leave her alone.
- Ah, shut up! Will you sit down?
Copy !req
653. So you met this guy. Go ahead.
So you met this guy. What about him?
Copy !req
654. You in love with this guy?
You hate this guy?
Copy !req
655. - You went to college with this guy?
- No.
Copy !req
656. Come on. Don't do this. Don't.
Copy !req
657. All right. Come on, will ya?
Copy !req
658. Cut it out.
Copy !req
659. You son of a bitch!
Copy !req
660. There's this joke
about the Siamese twins.
Copy !req
661. What?
Copy !req
662. Have you ever heard
that old belly-twister, uh,
Copy !req
663. about the Siamese twins?
Copy !req
664. No.
Copy !req
665. One is named June and the other July.
Copy !req
666. - Is that a real one?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Copy !req
667. Let me light that for you.
Copy !req
668. Thank you.
Copy !req
669. Oh, boy, women.
Copy !req
670. If I live to be a million,
I'll never understand 'em.
Copy !req
671. Crazy broads.
Copy !req
672. Aw, shoot, now.
Copy !req
673. Come on over here, huh?
Copy !req
674. Come on. Will ya?
Copy !req
675. Come on.
Copy !req
676. Come on, you son of a gun.
Copy !req
677. Come on, now. Come on.
Copy !req
678. Come on. Ooh, you.
Copy !req
679. Come on!
Copy !req
680. You know you're nuts?
Copy !req
681. You know that, don't you?
Copy !req
682. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Don't go away.
Copy !req
683. Come on in. Join the party.
Copy !req
684. There's been a lot of controversy
over you tonight.
Copy !req
685. Oh, no, there hasn't been
any controversy.
Copy !req
686. Sure there has.
Copy !req
687. - You're the one in the bar, right?
- That's right.
Copy !req
688. - Been waitin' a couple of hours?
- That's right.
Copy !req
689. Well, then, come on, take your coat off.
Copy !req
690. - Relax, join the party.
- Hey, stop that.
Copy !req
691. Okay. Come on. Sit down. Sit down.
Copy !req
692. We'll just have a couple drinks,
then we'll get out of here, huh?
Copy !req
693. You don't mind, do ya?
Copy !req
694. - What's your name, by the way?
- Richard.
Copy !req
695. Well, Richard, Richard.
Atta boy. That's a nice name, Richard.
Copy !req
696. Isn't that a nice name, Jackson?
Hey, Richard. Richard. Richard!
Copy !req
697. I'm talkin' to you, boy.
Come on. Pay attention. Let's go.
Copy !req
698. I'm Jim, that's Joe and, uh,
Stella I suppose you know.
Copy !req
699. Hey, what do you do, Richard?
Copy !req
700. I'm a businessman.
Copy !req
701. - Insurance, huh?
- That's right.
Copy !req
702. At least he's not a fag,
huh, Jeannie?
Copy !req
703. Well, maybe I am.
Copy !req
704. The boy Richard is all right.
Your friend Richard...
Copy !req
705. He's got spirit,
hasn't he, Jim?
Copy !req
706. Listen, now that we're through
with basic training,
Copy !req
707. can we knock off the grade school
theatrics? Jeannie, I...
Copy !req
708. Richard, you don't know
a goddamn thing about women, do ya?
Copy !req
709. You know that women are basically
all whores? Did you know that?
Copy !req
710. Ooh!
Copy !req
711. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
712. Excuse me, Jeannie.
Copy !req
713. You're married, right?
Wouldn't you say he's married, Jackson?
Copy !req
714. - Oh, yeah, he's married.
- Very much so.
Copy !req
715. Forty-eight, unhappy as hell.
Copy !req
716. Uh-huh. Separated, out for a good time.
Out for a good time!
Copy !req
717. Lookin' for a little
momentary relationship.
Copy !req
718. Who the hell are you guys?
Copy !req
719. Oh, didn't we tell ya, Richard?
We're the police.
Copy !req
720. - Oh, yeah, we're the vice squad.
- Vice squad!
Copy !req
721. They're not.
They're just kidding.
Copy !req
722. So, look, you run along home, sonny boy,
and play with your own.
Copy !req
723. Joe is Joe Jackson.
Jim is Jim McCarthy.
Copy !req
724. He's vice president of Metal...
Copy !req
725. Industries of the Pacific
West Coast and affiliate companies.
Copy !req
726. Jackson's supposed
to mix the drinks, right?
Copy !req
727. - Right.
- Jackson.
Copy !req
728. - Get me a double-double scotch.
- Straight?
Copy !req
729. - No soda and no ice.
- No soda, no ice.
Copy !req
730. Neat, clean,
straight down the line, huh?
Copy !req
731. Dickie, why don't you go?
Copy !req
732. What do I do now?
Copy !req
733. Take my coat off?
Copy !req
734. What you want me to do?
Take my coat off? All right.
Copy !req
735. - All right. Step outside.
- No.
Copy !req
736. What do you mean, "No"?
Copy !req
737. If you think I'm gonna fight
in the dark, you're crazy.
Copy !req
738. - We can't fight in Miss Rapp's house.
- Why not?
Copy !req
739. Why not? Look, McCarthy,
why don't you just get out of here?
Copy !req
740. Nobody wants you around.
Copy !req
741. - Oh, nobody wants me around, huh?
- Right.
Copy !req
742. A little while ago, you almost fainted
when I offered you 200 bucks.
Copy !req
743. - Oh!
- Two hundred bucks. Who needs ya!
Copy !req
744. You're not even pretty!
Copy !req
745. - I hope he knocks you on your fat prat!
- Take it easy, Jeannie.
Copy !req
746. - You wanna fight or not?
- You wanna go through with it?
Copy !req
747. What are you, yellow?
Copy !req
748. Oh, now you did it! Now you did it!
Copy !req
749. Now your head's gonna leave your body.
Copy !req
750. - Hey, do you need any help, boss?
- No!
Copy !req
751. No! No, I don't need any help!
Copy !req
752. No!
Copy !req
753. Ooh, you wanna fight dirty, eh?
Copy !req
754. - Hey, hey, hey.
- I'll kill him. Oh, my knee!
Copy !req
755. My knee. I'll kill ya.
Ooh, my knee, my knee!
Copy !req
756. - You shouldn't have done it so long.
- I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
Copy !req
757. - All right. Come on.
- Get out of my way!
Copy !req
758. Come on. Will you go on? Come on, boy.
Copy !req
759. I'll kill him. Oh, my knee, my knee.
Take it easy, will ya?
Copy !req
760. Ow! God! I'll kill that bum.
Copy !req
761. I'll take him apart
and put him together again!
Copy !req
762. Yes, sir. Look, just a minute.
Copy !req
763. For crying out loud,
I know you'll kill him.
Copy !req
764. What's the matter with you?
Listen, I've taken guys twice his size.
Copy !req
765. I'll bet you have.
Copy !req
766. I had a 300-pound wrestler one time,
gave me some gaff.
Copy !req
767. I picked him up over my head, threw him
to the ground. I broke his collarbone!
Copy !req
768. You son of a gun.
Copy !req
769. - You don't believe me, huh?
- Oh, sure I do.
Copy !req
770. - How did we get into this?
- How did we get into it?
Copy !req
771. How the hell do we get out of it?
Copy !req
772. You son of a...
Copy !req
773. Ah, shoot. You look fine.
Copy !req
774. Now, take it easy, will ya?
Copy !req
775. Okay. But one word
out of him, and I'll...
Copy !req
776. You son of a gun!
Copy !req
777. All right. Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
778. I said,
"I used to do a little bit of, uh...
Copy !req
779. "A little bit of fighting."
Copy !req
780. I understand you're a pretty big
businessman. Is that right, Jim?
Copy !req
781. Yeah, that's right.
Copy !req
782. Stella tells me you're
in advertising and promotion.
Copy !req
783. Yeah, that's my title.
Copy !req
784. They think I'm worth $150,000 a year
plus expenses for it.
Copy !req
785. Ah. Who's your biggest account?
Copy !req
786. He doesn't believe me.
Copy !req
787. - Hey, look. Here's a card.
- I'm not interested.
Copy !req
788. - No, he's not interested in that.
- You buy, uh, brass and aluminium?
Copy !req
789. Yep. I buy brass and aluminium.
Copy !req
790. - Is that right?
- That's right. Case closed.
Copy !req
791. Hey. Hey, now. Look, you son of a gun.
Copy !req
792. You told me in the kitchen.
Copy !req
793. Okay.
Copy !req
794. Hey, uh, you ever hear the one
about the fag motorcycle driver?
Copy !req
795. Yeah, I heard that.
Copy !req
796. Well, how about the one about
the little Jewish agent who...
Copy !req
797. "Not necessarily."
I heard that one, too.
Copy !req
798. Hey, why don't you tell him
about that one about "probably"...
Copy !req
799. Oh, come on, now.
You gave the punch line away.
Copy !req
800. - What's the matter with you?
- I heard that one.
Copy !req
801. - How about the goose one?
- The goose one?
Copy !req
802. Yeah. The goose that goes down
the subway and gets peopled to death.
Copy !req
803. The goose that goes down the subway
and gets peopled to death.
Copy !req
804. Oh, you're too much. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
805. Hey, did you hear the one about
Copy !req
806. the little Jewish carpenter
who was so mean...
Copy !req
807. Once a schmuck, always a schmuck.
Copy !req
808. That's not the ending I heard.
Copy !req
809. That joke's old enough to have a beard.
Copy !req
810. You're really uncanny.
Copy !req
811. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
812. Hey, you said you were in business.
What kind, uh...
Copy !req
813. He said he was in insurance business.
Copy !req
814. Well, I'm in finance.
That's a form of insurance.
Copy !req
815. - Oh, really?
- Yes.
Copy !req
816. - What do you do there?
- I'm chairman of the board.
Copy !req
817. - We have one corporation.
- Yeah? What's the firm?
Copy !req
818. - Investment Finance.
- That's a pretty big outfit.
Copy !req
819. - Yeah.
- Hey, uh, do you know Stewie Ray?
Copy !req
820. He's not kidding.
I'm not making it up. Stewie Ray.
Copy !req
821. - Works for me.
- No kidding? Really?
Copy !req
822. - Yeah.
- He's a nice guy. Hell of a nice guy.
Copy !req
823. - You do business with him?
- Ah, we talk once in a while.
Copy !req
824. A firm like mine has to have
a good credit rate. We talk.
Copy !req
825. - That's very good.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
826. Enough of business already.
I'm getting hungry.
Copy !req
827. You been to Chicago, Dick?
Copy !req
828. - Not often.
- There he goes. He's...
Copy !req
829. He's uncanny with this phraseology,
you know that?
Copy !req
830. No wonder you're chairman of the board.
Copy !req
831. Jeannie, you know what
chairman of the board is?
Copy !req
832. He's the man. He's a killer.
Boy, he's got all the weight.
Copy !req
833. Did you ever tell Jean
about the board of directors' meeting?
Copy !req
834. I was just about to,
but I didn't get the chance somehow.
Copy !req
835. There he goes with that
uncanny phraseology of his again.
Copy !req
836. Boy, I'll bet you're a real murderer
behind that big desk of yours.
Copy !req
837. Well, I don't have a big desk.
Copy !req
838. You know, you're all right.
You're all right. You know...
Copy !req
839. I've been a...
I've been a road man all my life.
Copy !req
840. I've been in every toilet in 50 states.
Copy !req
841. I sort of prefer it that way.
Hey, do you know the...
Copy !req
842. Hey, you know what?
Before they had planes, they had trains.
Copy !req
843. Now they got these planes that fly
like that.
Copy !req
844. Four and a half hours
from New York to Los Angeles.
Copy !req
845. Four and a half hours. You believe that?
Copy !req
846. - I don't wanna talk about business.
- Huh?
Copy !req
847. I don't wanna either.
I'd rather play a game of billiards.
Copy !req
848. Do you play billiards?
Copy !req
849. I can tell by your expression you don't.
I'll bet you're a golf man, right?
Copy !req
850. - Tennis.
- Tennis. My kid plays tennis, too.
Copy !req
851. Is that right? Tennis? No kidding.
Copy !req
852. I got a friend of mine who bought
Don Budge's house.
Copy !req
853. I know those guys.
You know, Segura, Kramer, uh, Gonzales.
Copy !req
854. I only play for myself.
Copy !req
855. Sure. Go down,
play a few sets, work off the gut.
Copy !req
856. That'll keep your mind...
Uh, body up with your mind.
Copy !req
857. I got a kid who plays, too.
Copy !req
858. He's a hell of a nice kid.
Smart as a whip, too.
Copy !req
859. - Nothing like his old man.
- Why you S.O.B.
Copy !req
860. - You're right. I am an S.O.B.
- You are.
Copy !req
861. Oh, boy. This kid's fantastic.
He runs! He runs!
Copy !req
862. And he runs for hours and hours.
Summer, winter, snowing, rain.
Copy !req
863. He doesn't care.
He swims in any kind of weather.
Copy !req
864. Oh, boy. I'm tellin' ya, I don't know
where these kids get the energy.
Copy !req
865. You ever see these Ivy League kids?
Copy !req
866. They all look alike,
skinny shoulders, sneakers.
Copy !req
867. I don't know what the hell
you're talking about.
Copy !req
868. Oh, I don't know either.
Copy !req
869. - Hey. Hey.
- What?
Copy !req
870. I think that Dickie would like
to be alone with the young lady.
Copy !req
871. Oh, sure. Who wouldn't?
I would, too. You kidding?
Copy !req
872. A couple of visiting firemen come in,
cramp your style,
Copy !req
873. step all over your feet, huh?
Copy !req
874. Listen, McCarthy,
if you don't get out of here,
Copy !req
875. I'm gonna call the vice squad.
Copy !req
876. - Hey, remember. We're the vice squad!
- You're the vice squad!
Copy !req
877. Okay. Hey, Stella, why don't you
give that girl... What's her name?
Copy !req
878. - Marta.
- Marta. Why don't you give her a call?
Copy !req
879. Now, come on, sweetheart? All right?
Then we can get out of here. Okay?
Copy !req
880. Oh, gee, Dick, how did we get
into this situation anyway?
Copy !req
881. I'm sorry. It's ridiculous, isn't it?
Copy !req
882. Why don't I give you a call Monday?
Copy !req
883. Maybe we can have lunch or, uh,
maybe just talk on the phone, all right?
Copy !req
884. - That's a very good idea.
- Good. Okay. Stewie Ray.
Copy !req
885. Ah. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
886. Ah, Stewie Ray. Hey, come on.
Copy !req
887. Oh, Jeannie, I'll call you
the next time I get in town.
Copy !req
888. Yes, yes, you do that.
Copy !req
889. Come on, Stella.
Let's go. Shake it up!
Copy !req
890. - It's been a real pleasure.
- Nice meeting you.
Copy !req
891. - Richard, old boy.
- Jim.
Copy !req
892. - Nice meeting you.
- Right.
Copy !req
893. - Sorry about what happened.
- Well, that's the way it goes.
Copy !req
894. - Night.
- Joey.
Copy !req
895. It's really been a pleasure.
Copy !req
896. - You're gonna get a raise, Joey.
- I hope so.
Copy !req
897. Come on, Stella, step it up,
will ya? Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
Copy !req
898. I'm glad she's not too tired.
I gotta get my coat. Wait.
Copy !req
899. Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
Copy !req
900. - Wait till I get...
- It's cold outside.
Copy !req
901. - Come on.
- Good night, Jeannie.
Copy !req
902. Thanks. See you later.
Copy !req
903. Good night again. Good night, Miss Rapp.
Copy !req
904. Dickie, Stewie Ray, huh?
Copy !req
905. Stewie Ray!
Copy !req
906. I thought they'd never leave.
Copy !req
907. "Stewie Ray."
Copy !req
908. - "You're a golf man, right, Richard?"
- Tennis.
Copy !req
909. I never laughed so hard.
Copy !req
910. I was pretty good, wasn't I?
Copy !req
911. - My hero.
- Hi, ho, Silver!
Copy !req
912. Shh!
Copy !req
913. White horse hero. You get it?
Copy !req
914. Yeah, I get it.
Copy !req
915. Ah, Dickie, Dickie, Dickie.
Copy !req
916. I like you, you know.
I really do like ya.
Copy !req
917. - Well, don't get serious.
- I'm not.
Copy !req
918. - Well, don't.
- I wasn't.
Copy !req
919. Definition of "seriousness".
Copy !req
920. Noun. Grave or solemn of disposition.
Copy !req
921. Yeah, well, I wasn't getting serious.
I'm your friend.
Copy !req
922. Well, you know how
I feel about friendship.
Copy !req
923. - No. How do you feel?
- Definition of "friendship".
Copy !req
924. Noun. One who's attached to another
Copy !req
925. because of their personal regard.
Copy !req
926. Companion, a comrade, a chum,
Copy !req
927. and someone who doesn't get serious.
Copy !req
928. - Friends never get serious?
- Never.
Copy !req
929. - Can a friend ask a question?
- No. And shut up.
Copy !req
930. Let's do Peter Piper
picked a pickle... Peck a...
Copy !req
931. - Ah, Dickie, I'm exhausted.
- You can't be exhausted.
Copy !req
932. Peter Piper picked a peck of peckled...
Copy !req
933. Peter Piper picked a peck of...
Copy !req
934. Hey, Dickie, why did you want to see me?
Copy !req
935. I wanted to play with you.
Copy !req
936. All right. Then what?
Copy !req
937. Oh, we'd play, have a few laughs,
Copy !req
938. see what developed.
Copy !req
939. - I like you.
- You like me.
Copy !req
940. - I like you.
- All right, you like me.
Copy !req
941. - That's right. I like you.
- Oh, Dickie, what's the matter?
Copy !req
942. You think I'm one of
those gross businessmen?
Copy !req
943. You think I have a secretary
that picks up the phone
Copy !req
944. and gets me whatever I want?
Copy !req
945. Jeannie, I buried eight relatives
in the past six years.
Copy !req
946. There's nobody left but me.
I'm just a mild success
Copy !req
947. in a dull profession,
and I wanna start over again.
Copy !req
948. And I've got a bad kidney!
Copy !req
949. So?
Copy !req
950. Come on and take a bath.
Copy !req
951. I don't want a bath!
Copy !req
952. No bath?
Copy !req
953. No bath.
Copy !req
954. People drown in bathtubs.
Copy !req
955. No hard feelings?
Copy !req
956. You're aces high with me, Charlie.
Copy !req
957. You know, you're a very strange man.
Copy !req
958. - Well, you want me to leave, I'll leave.
- But not sensitive.
Copy !req
959. And another thing,
you don't make me insecure.
Copy !req
960. - That's not one of my problems.
- Good.
Copy !req
961. Alrighty.
Copy !req
962. Now.
Copy !req
963. Okay, give me a foot.
Copy !req
964. —Those are new socks.
Copy !req
965. Yeah? Good.
Copy !req
966. Yeah, new socks make me insecure.
Copy !req
967. Clothes make the man.
Copy !req
968. - What does that do?
- Makes your feet smell good.
Copy !req
969. Oh, that's fine.
Copy !req
970. Then I'm gonna dry them off,
I'm gonna powder them down,
Copy !req
971. and then I'm gonna rub 'em till warm.
Copy !req
972. - I trust you.
- What?
Copy !req
973. I said... I said I trust you.
Copy !req
974. Good.
Copy !req
975. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
976. Oh, Freddie.
Copy !req
977. Jeannie. Hey, Jeannie.
Copy !req
978. Jeannie, you wanna hear a secret, huh?
Copy !req
979. Oh, Jeannie, I don't give a damn
about racial, religious,
Copy !req
980. moral, economical, political problems.
Copy !req
981. - That makes two of us.
- Eating meat disturbs me.
Copy !req
982. Right. Can you imagine raising
poor little chickens, steers and lambs
Copy !req
983. to fill our tummies?
Copy !req
984. Now, there's a problem and nobody cares.
Copy !req
985. Right.
Copy !req
986. - Right? Huh? Right?
- Right.
Copy !req
987. They take all the wool off the lamb,
and then we eat it.
Copy !req
988. Oh, Dickie.
Copy !req
989. What is all this holier-than-thou crap
that they hand us?
Copy !req
990. You know what I think?
I think we were all created evil!
Copy !req
991. Then some wise guy...
Some, uh... A left-winger or a...
Copy !req
992. A union organiser comes along and
tells us that we all were created good.
Copy !req
993. We were all created in His image. Right?
Copy !req
994. Wrong.
Copy !req
995. Hey, Jeannie. Jeannie, come here.
Copy !req
996. Now, I'm gonna tell you something.
This is serious.
Copy !req
997. You're such a lovely girl, Jeannie,
Copy !req
998. but you talk too much.
Copy !req
999. I talk too much?
Copy !req
1000. Didn't anybody ever tell you that?
Copy !req
1001. You talk too much.
Copy !req
1002. - I...?
- Now turn out the lights.
Copy !req
1003. I'm spending the night.
Copy !req
1004. You're a son of a bitch.
Do you know that?
Copy !req
1005. Why am I a son of a bitch?
Copy !req
1006. Because you get to me.
Copy !req
1007. And anybody that gets to me...
Copy !req
1008. You kill me.
Copy !req
1009. Let's have some music.
Copy !req
1010. Here we are.
Copy !req
1011. Come on!
Copy !req
1012. Well, come on. Here's the living room.
Copy !req
1013. Come on.
Copy !req
1014. Ooh! Oh!
Copy !req
1015. Oh, oh, Chet.
Copy !req
1016. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Copy !req
1017. Leave her alone now, and stop it!
Copy !req
1018. - Come and sit down.
- Hey.
Copy !req
1019. Let's just sit down!
Copy !req
1020. It's a nice place you got here.
Copy !req
1021. Thank you. It's 27 years old.
Copy !req
1022. - Twenty-seven years old?
- Oh, come on, Chettie!
Copy !req
1023. Let's do some more
twistin' and groovin'.
Copy !req
1024. - Florence, the party's over.
- Come on, Florence.
Copy !req
1025. Oh, no. The party's just beginning.
Copy !req
1026. - Right, Chettie?
- Uh, yeah, right.
Copy !req
1027. 'Cause I'm mixing the drinkies.
Copy !req
1028. Ladies, declare!
Copy !req
1029. - Gin and tonic.
- Scotch and soda.
Copy !req
1030. Two glasses comin' up. Oh!
Copy !req
1031. Look, I got these records.
Copy !req
1032. Can we have some music, please?
Copy !req
1033. Can we have some music or something,
or are we just gonna sit here?
Copy !req
1034. Where are you from, Chet?
Copy !req
1035. Detroit.
Copy !req
1036. Do you like Los Angeles?
Copy !req
1037. Do you?
Copy !req
1038. Well, I like the climate.
Copy !req
1039. I do, too.
Copy !req
1040. Well! Well, wasn't that
some place tonight, huh?
Copy !req
1041. And those dances.
The, uh, Watusi and the Frug.
Copy !req
1042. - Oh, yeah.
- And the Dog and the Jerk.
Copy !req
1043. - And the...
- Did you like it?
Copy !req
1044. With all those young boys?
Of course I liked it.
Copy !req
1045. Yeah.
Copy !req
1046. - Yeah.
- Of course I liked it.
Copy !req
1047. I did notice that you handled yourself
very well at the A-Go-Go.
Copy !req
1048. Oh! Well, thank you.
Copy !req
1049. You're definitely an individual type.
Copy !req
1050. I mean, you don't seem to succumb
to the atmosphere.
Copy !req
1051. Who was the little blonde girl
Copy !req
1052. with the big blue eyes
and the big bazoom?
Copy !req
1053. And did you notice the one
in the black tights with the boots?
Copy !req
1054. You have to have
the figure for those tights.
Copy !req
1055. I have never had any complaints, Louise.
Copy !req
1056. Billie-May, I didn't say
anything like that.
Copy !req
1057. You...
Copy !req
1058. Come on, now, you guys. I mean,
like, you got nothin' to worry about.
Copy !req
1059. Really. Believe me. None of ya.
Copy !req
1060. Believe me, will ya?
Copy !req
1061. You people are too much, man. Look...
Copy !req
1062. Are you kiddin'?
Copy !req
1063. Well, out of that whole room
full of pretty, young chicks,
Copy !req
1064. what made you come over to our table?
Copy !req
1065. Oh, Billie-May, you know why?
Copy !req
1066. Because there was
something wrong with ya.
Copy !req
1067. You guys were all
sitting there like a bunch of...
Copy !req
1068. Well, like you were gonna
break into tears any minute.
Copy !req
1069. Now, if I see someone trying to join in
Copy !req
1070. and not knowing how,
Copy !req
1071. if I myself know how
Copy !req
1072. and always make it a point
to know how with anybody,
Copy !req
1073. and I say, "Go on over, man".
Copy !req
1074. Kind of like, uh, Jesus said. You know.
Copy !req
1075. Kind of like Christ said, you know.
Help thy neighbour, man.
Copy !req
1076. - Is he the one that said that?
- Billie-May,
Copy !req
1077. what difference does it make
who said it?
Copy !req
1078. What difference does it make
who said it?
Copy !req
1079. It could have been, uh...
Copy !req
1080. It could have been Him.
Copy !req
1081. It could have been Gandhi.
It could have been Buddha.
Copy !req
1082. It could have been spoodah.
It could have been your daddy.
Copy !req
1083. It could have been your mama.
It could have been your uh-uh.
Copy !req
1084. Could have been your huh-huh.
Copy !req
1085. What difference, man?
Copy !req
1086. Hey, listen, man. It's a very good way
to express yourself.
Copy !req
1087. What do you mean?
Copy !req
1088. What?
Copy !req
1089. I said, "What do you mean?"
Copy !req
1090. Well, I said, like, take a guy my age.
Copy !req
1091. I gotta have some kind of a release.
Copy !req
1092. Now, do you wanna...
Copy !req
1093. Well, I can't very well
hold up a bank for kicks.
Copy !req
1094. - That's against the law, right?
- Right.
Copy !req
1095. - Right, Chettie.
- Then everybody agrees with me.
Copy !req
1096. - Christ. So what do you do?
- You dance.
Copy !req
1097. - You dance.
- You dance.
Copy !req
1098. You have a few belts and go up
to some chick's pad and make it, baby.
Copy !req
1099. Make it?
Copy !req
1100. Just make it, baby.
You out-and-out lay down and...
Copy !req
1101. And I...
Copy !req
1102. Or you can sit around,
have a drag and, uh,
Copy !req
1103. think about what's wrong
and all, you know?
Copy !req
1104. Oh, I know what you mean.
Copy !req
1105. - I think you do.
- Oh, sure she does.
Copy !req
1106. Sure she does.
Copy !req
1107. - Well!
- Well!
Copy !req
1108. Aaah!
Copy !req
1109. Yeah, boy.
Copy !req
1110. Well, Louise, Maria,
Florence, there it is.
Copy !req
1111. This is it.
Copy !req
1112. The, uh, new generation.
The one our husbands...
Copy !req
1113. That's fun...
Copy !req
1114. That's funny as hell.
Copy !req
1115. Billie-May, how'd you happen to get
on the subject of our husbands again?
Copy !req
1116. Well... Oh...
Copy !req
1117. Because they're scared.
They're scared men. I mean...
Copy !req
1118. Well, they're...
Copy !req
1119. They're scared of you.
Copy !req
1120. They're scared of you. They're, uh...
Copy !req
1121. - Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1122. They are scared of your youth,
Copy !req
1123. and your spirit,
Copy !req
1124. and your build.
Copy !req
1125. They think that they
are the kings of the earth
Copy !req
1126. and they do not want you
takin' their place, see?
Copy !req
1127. Well, I don't want it. I mean, not...
Copy !req
1128. Well, I just don't want the hang-up.
Copy !req
1129. Chettie!
Copy !req
1130. You're a damn good-looking kid
for only 23.
Copy !req
1131. - Florence.
- Let's dance.
Copy !req
1132. - No.
- Come on.
Copy !req
1133. - No.
- Come on. It's easy.
Copy !req
1134. - No. No, Chet. I don't wanna.
- Right shoe.
Copy !req
1135. Right shoe. Yeah, baby.
Put it right there.
Copy !req
1136. - No.
- Come on.
Copy !req
1137. Come on. That's it.
Copy !req
1138. - Where are you... Come here.
- No.
Copy !req
1139. Right here, baby. It's easy.
Copy !req
1140. Come on.
Copy !req
1141. Oh, I think we're makin'
fools of ourselves.
Copy !req
1142. - What?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1143. I'm making a fool of myself?
Copy !req
1144. Well, we are. Yeah.
Copy !req
1145. - Well, who are you to criticise me?
- I'm not criticising. I'm just saying...
Copy !req
1146. You don't have to tell me
I'm making a fool of myself.
Copy !req
1147. Look, I know how to dance my way.
Copy !req
1148. I don't need you to tell me about it.
Copy !req
1149. I come from a musical background.
Copy !req
1150. - I take care of a family of five.
- Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
1151. I have a college degree,
Copy !req
1152. and I don't need you to tell me
I'm making a fool of myself.
Copy !req
1153. - Hey. Wait a minute. I'm sorry...
- Don't touch me!
Copy !req
1154. Chettie, you criticised her, honey.
Criticise me.
Copy !req
1155. At my age, I'm willing
to learn, honey. Please.
Copy !req
1156. Okay, you wanna cool it
just for a moment?
Copy !req
1157. Well.
Copy !req
1158. Well, I think that I maintained
my dignity throughout the entire thing.
Copy !req
1159. I mean, hell, it isn't as if
we did anything wrong.
Copy !req
1160. All anybody has to do
is just to look at the four of us.
Copy !req
1161. I mean, to know that there was
nothing wrong.
Copy !req
1162. And if old Malcolm
is gonna get upset over a...
Copy !req
1163. Over a silly thing like that,
then where are we?
Copy !req
1164. But you know Louise.
Copy !req
1165. She is gonna go home and talk about
how vulgar it was
Copy !req
1166. and how terrible we all behaved and how
she went home the moment it all began.
Copy !req
1167. But I don't...
Copy !req
1168. Well, if she does, I'm just
gonna tell her she's full of it.
Copy !req
1169. But I don't think she will. Do you?
Copy !req
1170. I mean, not that I give a damn anyway.
Copy !req
1171. You know, this is gonna put her
back on the couch for another 25 years.
Copy !req
1172. I'll tell you something else
funny, honey.
Copy !req
1173. I love Malcolm.
Copy !req
1174. Yes, I am in love with my husband.
Copy !req
1175. How about that?
Copy !req
1176. I think he's nice.
Copy !req
1177. Don't you?
Copy !req
1178. You know my Louie.
Copy !req
1179. So short.
Copy !req
1180. Those awful glasses.
Copy !req
1181. And he can't carry a tune,
much less dance.
Copy !req
1182. What's the matter?
Copy !req
1183. Are you tired?
Copy !req
1184. Oh, come on. Don't be tired.
The evening's young, you know.
Copy !req
1185. You know, these dances,
these wild, crazy dances,
Copy !req
1186. I think they've succeeded
where science failed.
Copy !req
1187. 'Cause, you know, I can go to
a beauty parlour and sit there for hours
Copy !req
1188. having my hair done
and my nails polished,
Copy !req
1189. but I don't feel any younger.
Copy !req
1190. I might look it.
Copy !req
1191. But these dances,
these wild, crazy dances,
Copy !req
1192. they do something to me inside.
Copy !req
1193. Well, to hell with Louie.
Copy !req
1194. Because do you know
one of these days I'm gonna croak?
Copy !req
1195. And I'm gonna flop down on the ground,
and some goddamn preacher's
Copy !req
1196. gonna preach a goddamn sermon
over my goddamn body!
Copy !req
1197. Oh, Chettie, Chettie, Chettie.
Copy !req
1198. Oh! Oh, Chettie.
Copy !req
1199. Let's put on another record
and dance some more, shall we?
Copy !req
1200. Shall we?
Copy !req
1201. Oh. Oh, Chettie.
Copy !req
1202. I'm so exhausted.
Copy !req
1203. Oh! I'm so exhausted.
Copy !req
1204. - I'm...
- Oh. Wait.
Copy !req
1205. Oh, Chettie!
Copy !req
1206. —Oh, Chettie. Chettie.
Copy !req
1207. Oh, Chettie, you know,
I just love to dance, don't you?
Copy !req
1208. I love ya, Flo. I just love ya.
Copy !req
1209. Oh, you know, I could...
I could just dance...
Copy !req
1210. Dance all night with you.
Copy !req
1211. - Oh. You know it?
- I know you could.
Copy !req
1212. Oh, that's so wonderful.
Copy !req
1213. You're wonderful.
Copy !req
1214. Chettie,
Copy !req
1215. would you kiss me?
Copy !req
1216. Florence. Florence.
Copy !req
1217. Mmm!
Copy !req
1218. Chettie, will you drive me home?
Copy !req
1219. Sure.
Copy !req
1220. Sure. I'll drive you home.
Copy !req
1221. Chettie! Chettie!
Copy !req
1222. You said you'd drive me home.
Copy !req
1223. I will. I will.
Copy !req
1224. Maria, he is driving me home.
Copy !req
1225. - Florence, you haven't got a car.
- Let me have your car.
Copy !req
1226. - I will drive you home.
- I will return it tomorrow.
Copy !req
1227. All right. Let me get the keys.
Copy !req
1228. I'll drive.
Copy !req
1229. You son of a...
Copy !req
1230. - No, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
Copy !req
1231. - No, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes.
Copy !req
1232. Let me change.
Copy !req
1233. Okay.
Copy !req
1234. It's the lights.
Copy !req
1235. I don't like lights.
Copy !req
1236. Aaah!
Copy !req
1237. Yeah, well, I'm all wet.
Copy !req
1238. You know you have a beautiful body?
Copy !req
1239. Yeah, well...
Copy !req
1240. I've been told that, yes.
Copy !req
1241. I have been seduced.
Copy !req
1242. Is it a nice feeling?
Copy !req
1243. I am not tired, if that's what you mean.
Copy !req
1244. Eat your eggs.
Copy !req
1245. What does that mean?
Copy !req
1246. It means that your eggs are hot,
and they're gonna get cold.
Copy !req
1247. You're a lousy cook.
Copy !req
1248. Thank you. I love to cook. My mom always
told me, "You wanna eat, cook.
Copy !req
1249. "Otherwise you'll be skinny.
Copy !req
1250. "And skinny people
are not like fat people.
Copy !req
1251. "Fat people are jolly."
Copy !req
1252. - Right?
- Wrong.
Copy !req
1253. Skinny people are happy
because they're not fat.
Copy !req
1254. Okay, I'll diet.
Copy !req
1255. You're not fat.
Copy !req
1256. - What?
- You're voluptuous.
Copy !req
1257. What?
Copy !req
1258. I can't hear you, Dickie.
Copy !req
1259. Oh. Dishes.
Copy !req
1260. Well, that's a negative attitude.
Copy !req
1261. - What? Putting on my pants?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1262. Well, I just hate getting out of bed.
That's all.
Copy !req
1263. Stop apologising. I love ya.
Copy !req
1264. - Don't be so bighearted.
- What an answer.
Copy !req
1265. - Well, you make lousy eggs.
- I do?
Copy !req
1266. Yes, and I don't know how
anyone could make lousy eggs.
Copy !req
1267. Look, in my whole life
nobody ever told me I make lousy eggs.
Copy !req
1268. Yeah, but nobody was ever
honest with you before.
Copy !req
1269. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1270. - What do you want? Cigarettes?
- Oh, no, I quit.
Copy !req
1271. I don't smoke either. I never did.
Copy !req
1272. - Well, don't I get any credit for that?
- No.
Copy !req
1273. Did you know I steal in supermarkets?
Copy !req
1274. And I don't like dogs.
Copy !req
1275. - You don't like dogs?
- Hate them. Puppies even.
Copy !req
1276. What do you mean you steal?
Copy !req
1277. Oh, you jerk.
Copy !req
1278. Just don't ever say
you know all of Jeannie Rapp's secrets.
Copy !req
1279. - You're wearing false eyelashes.
- So?
Copy !req
1280. You're stupid.
So help me God, you're stupid.
Copy !req
1281. I'm stupid? You can't even say a decent,
Copy !req
1282. "Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers".
Copy !req
1283. All you do is say, "Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled poopers".
Copy !req
1284. Well, that doesn't make any sense.
Copy !req
1285. I dream of Jeannie, Peter Piper,
Copy !req
1286. laughing, dancing, having a good time.
Copy !req
1287. Does it begin to come back to you?
Copy !req
1288. Oh, you're such a child.
Copy !req
1289. I am not a child.
You're a... You're a lousy dancer.
Copy !req
1290. - You oughta take lessons.
- Well, I took dances.
Copy !req
1291. You know, you have a tin ear, too.
You can't even carry a tune.
Copy !req
1292. But last night, you danced
and you sang and you just let it all go
Copy !req
1293. and didn't we have a good time?
Copy !req
1294. You liked making love to me, didn't you?
Copy !req
1295. Yes, I did.
Copy !req
1296. So, you see, there.
That's good, isn't it?
Copy !req
1297. And you enjoyed
my company, too, didn't you?
Copy !req
1298. I enjoyed your company.
Copy !req
1299. And you said that you trusted me,
didn't you?
Copy !req
1300. Yes, I did.
Copy !req
1301. And you thought Peter Piper was
pretty important last night, didn't you?
Copy !req
1302. - Didn't you?
- Yes, I did.
Copy !req
1303. You see? I'm always right.
Copy !req
1304. I listened to your demented
dialogue, too, didn't I?
Copy !req
1305. - Yes, you did.
- And I thought you were crazy, didn't I?
Copy !req
1306. But I made love to you,
and I held you in my arms all night.
Copy !req
1307. And if you'd been out
in the street last night,
Copy !req
1308. they'd have had you committed.
Wouldn't they?
Copy !req
1309. Right?
Copy !req
1310. I suppose so.
Copy !req
1311. You son of a gun.
Copy !req
1312. How come you hate me now?
Copy !req
1313. Jeannie,
Copy !req
1314. do me a favour?
Copy !req
1315. Don't be silly any more.
Copy !req
1316. Just be yourself.
Copy !req
1317. But I am myself.
Copy !req
1318. Who else would I be?
Copy !req
1319. I'm serious.
Copy !req
1320. Definition of "serious".
Copy !req
1321. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
1322. Let me get this garbage out of here.
Copy !req
1323. Jeannie.
Copy !req
1324. Jeannie?
Copy !req
1325. Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.
Copy !req
1326. Now, if Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers,
Copy !req
1327. where is the peck of
pickled peppers Peter picked?
Copy !req
1328. Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.
Copy !req
1329. If Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers,
Copy !req
1330. where's the peck of
pickled peppers Peter picked?
Copy !req
1331. Huh?
Copy !req
1332. Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.
Copy !req
1333. Now, if Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers,
Copy !req
1334. where is the peck of
pickled peppers Peter picked?
Copy !req
1335. Peter Piper picked a peck...
Copy !req
1336. Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.
Copy !req
1337. If Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled peppers...
Copy !req
1338. Operator, I want
the emergency rescue squad.
Copy !req
1339. My number?
Copy !req
1340. My number is...
Copy !req
1341. No way.
Copy !req
1342. Come on.
Copy !req
1343. Come on, now, drink this, damn it!
Copy !req
1344. Goddamn bitch. Drink this!
Copy !req
1345. Please walk.
Copy !req
1346. Walk.
Copy !req
1347. Maria, walk, please.
Copy !req
1348. Walk. Come on.
Copy !req
1349. Come on, now. Don't go back out.
Copy !req
1350. No. You gotta stay awake. Please.
Copy !req
1351. I don't want you to die.
Copy !req
1352. Please, lady.
Copy !req
1353. You gotta stay awake.
Copy !req
1354. You gotta stay awake.
Copy !req
1355. Hey. Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
1356. Come on, now! God damn it!
Copy !req
1357. Now, come on!
Copy !req
1358. That's it! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Copy !req
1359. Ooh, you gonna cry? Oh! Come on.
Copy !req
1360. Come on.
Copy !req
1361. I didn't want to hit you,
but don't go to sleep on me.
Copy !req
1362. Oh! Come on, now. Cry.
That's it. That's life, honey.
Copy !req
1363. Tears are happiness, man. Just do it.
Copy !req
1364. Come on, now. Oh.
Copy !req
1365. You silly nut.
Copy !req
1366. Do you want some coffee?
Copy !req
1367. Can I trust ya? Huh? Huh?
Copy !req
1368. Okay. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1369. I don't trust ya anyway. I don't.
Copy !req
1370. Ah! You little sneaky, you.
Copy !req
1371. I'm gonna get you some coffee.
Copy !req
1372. I'm cold.
Copy !req
1373. I like you.
Copy !req
1374. I caused you a lot of pain
and a lot of grief,
Copy !req
1375. and I almost killed ya.
Copy !req
1376. And I prayed, man. Oh...
I prayed to God.
Copy !req
1377. I said, "God, please, dear God,
don't let anything happen to her
Copy !req
1378. "'cause I love her so much,
and I'll do anything you say, God".
Copy !req
1379. And, man, I don't even
believe in Him, you know.
Copy !req
1380. But, I mean, it doesn't matter. I...
We protect ourselves.
Copy !req
1381. So, when you talk ethics
and values and honesty,
Copy !req
1382. and I'm a nice guy and you're a nice guy
Copy !req
1383. and this and that, you know,
I mean, it just doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1384. Nobody cares.
Copy !req
1385. Nobody has the time
to be vulnerable to each other.
Copy !req
1386. So, we just go on.
Copy !req
1387. I mean, right away our armour comes out
like a shield and goes around us
Copy !req
1388. and we become like mechanical men.
Copy !req
1389. Yeah. And I called you
a mechanical woman, huh?
Copy !req
1390. I got news. I'm so mechanical...
Copy !req
1391. Honey, it's absolutely ludicrous
how mechanical a person can be.
Copy !req
1392. I am the sexiest guy in the world.
Copy !req
1393. I have blond hair.
Copy !req
1394. I can get all the women I want.
Copy !req
1395. You're waking up, aren't ya?
Copy !req
1396. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1397. You silly little puddin'.
Copy !req
1398. Yes, I am a silly little puddin'.
Copy !req
1399. You know, anybody that would
pop a lot of sleeping pills,
Copy !req
1400. anybody that would
Copy !req
1401. their guts out, you know,
in front of company,
Copy !req
1402. anybody that would let a guy slap her
and not be mad at him...
Copy !req
1403. - You're supposed to be saving my life.
- ... hasn't got much to say.
Copy !req
1404. I've got lots to say. You wanna try me?
Copy !req
1405. No, I hate you. I really hate you.
Copy !req
1406. I thought you just had problems.
Copy !req
1407. That's wonderful. That's something new.
Copy !req
1408. A noble adulteress.
Copy !req
1409. I think you ought to be rewarded.
Copy !req
1410. I'll write it into a policy. You commit
adultery, the adulterer gets killed.
Copy !req
1411. The beneficiary, who is the adulteress,
gets paid off, right?
Copy !req
1412. Dickie, I don't care.
Copy !req
1413. Rejected for the thousandth time
in 14 years.
Copy !req
1414. She doesn't care.
Copy !req
1415. All I have to do is find
that 10-year-old rapist and kill him.
Copy !req
1416. And then you get paid off.
Copy !req
1417. You don't need me,
you don't need any man.
Copy !req
1418. And I'll write the policy.
Copy !req
1419. What the hell were you doing?
Chasing each other all over the house?
Copy !req
1420. You couldn't get laid in bed,
so you come down to the kitchen?
Copy !req
1421. Then you go up and take a shower
to wash off the kitchen?
Copy !req
1422. You get laid once
and everything is solved!
Copy !req
1423. Get all the soldiers in Vietnam laid and
the whole Middle East problem is solved!
Copy !req
1424. You want violence, huh?
You want me to be violent? Is that it?
Copy !req
1425. You want me to slap you across the face
every time you open your mouth?
Copy !req
1426. I hate my life.
Copy !req
1427. I just don't love you.
Copy !req
1428. Throw me a cigarette, please.
Copy !req
1429. A light.
Copy !req
1430. My lighter, please.
Copy !req
1431. Those pills, they tie up your lungs.
Copy !req
1432. Ouch.
Copy !req
1433. Excuse me.
Copy !req