1. Despite all the warnings,
she was smoking in bed, fell asleep.Copy !req
2. Bad move.Copy !req
3. And the fire begins.Copy !req
4. It's showtime.Copy !req
5. Don't worry, ma'am! I'm here to save you!Copy !req
6. Keep those people back!
This is an emergency!Copy !req
7. Don't you dare die on me!Copy !req
8. Breathe, damn it, breathe!Copy !req
9. She's going to make it!Copy !req
10. What the...?Copy !req
11. Damn!Copy !req
12. Though it may be hard to believe
a single biology professor...Copy !req
13. making in excess of $17,500 a year
could find time...Copy !req
14. to grade your first biology
research papers, I did.Copy !req
15. As you can see,
there was a shocking statistical anomaly:Copy !req
16. Pretty much all of you got A's.Copy !req
17. Congratulate yourselves.
I have a good feeling about this group.Copy !req
18. And I think the parade of A's
will continue to the end of the semester.Copy !req
19. So much for the bell curve.Copy !req
20. Bell curves suck!Copy !req
21. - Mr. Kane?
- Dr. Kane?Copy !req
22. There seems to be a mistake here.Copy !req
23. My brother and I each got a C-.Copy !req
24. C-. Me, too.Copy !req
25. Allow me to share something
with the entire class.Copy !req
26. As I was grading papers, I came across
two gems, both entitled "Cells are Bad."Copy !req
27. Both with just one paragraph, which
I unfortunately committed to memory.Copy !req
28. "Cells are Bad.Copy !req
29. "My uncle lives in a cell.Copy !req
30. "It's 10 by 12 and he has to read
the same boring magazine every day.Copy !req
31. "The end."Copy !req
32. You're talking about our papers,
aren't you, Dr. Kane?Copy !req
33. Yes, I am.Copy !req
34. And although my standards
are nowhere near where they used to be...Copy !req
35. I couldn't put an A on those beauties.
I hope you understand.Copy !req
36. - Sure.
- Yeah, okay.Copy !req
37. Okay, let's get back to work
at the periodic table, which...Copy !req
38. A meteor? Where?Copy !req
39. Route 89A. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
40. Rest assured, I will be there. Okay, 'bye.Copy !req
41. How does it look, Professor?Copy !req
42. It's tight.Copy !req
43. Really, really tight, Nadine.Copy !req
44. But not too tight.
You just don't have the points. Sorry.Copy !req
45. Don't take it too hard.
Geology's tougher than people think.Copy !req
46. Are you sure? Could you check again?Copy !req
47. I need this credit
to get into nursing school.Copy !req
48. Nursing school?Copy !req
49. Wouldn't you prefer a different profession?Copy !req
50. One where lives
were not dependent on you?Copy !req
51. Actually, what I want to be
is Miss Arizona.Copy !req
52. But my pageant consultant says
nursing school will impress the judges.Copy !req
53. They'll think I want to help people...Copy !req
54. Ready for lunch?Copy !req
55. Or have you already eaten?Copy !req
56. I'm just concluding
a teacher-student conference with Nadine.Copy !req
57. Harry, your dedication to your job
is an inspiration to us all.Copy !req
58. Regrettably, I have a prior lunch
engagement with Professor Kane.Copy !req
59. We'll discuss your extra credit later.
Cheer up.Copy !req
60. Let me grab my stuff.Copy !req
61. Where are you taking me?Copy !req
62. - A meteor hit last night.
- That's what that was.Copy !req
63. As Glen Canyon's representative
for the U.S. Geological Survey...Copy !req
64. I have to check it out.Copy !req
65. I'm taking you in case
I have to do something scientific.Copy !req
66. Then we eat.Copy !req
67. You're with the USGS?Copy !req
68. I signed up over the Internet.Copy !req
69. Or were you on a cheerleader site and
accidentally got linked to the USGS site?Copy !req
70. Something like that.Copy !req
71. Watch it. Take it easy.Copy !req
72. That's my baby. Take it easy.Copy !req
73. Come on! Be careful!Copy !req
74. Who's going to pay for the damage
to my goddamn car?Copy !req
75. I told you, we don't do that.
It's force majeure.Copy !req
76. Force majeure, my ass!
That car's a classic '73 Buick Riv.Copy !req
77. Who are you?Copy !req
78. Harry Block,
United States Geological Survey.Copy !req
79. My secretary, Ira Kane.
We're here to investigate the meteor...Copy !req
80. if that is what it is.Copy !req
81. Of course it is. It almost blew up my car.Copy !req
82. I'm still fuzzy
on why you were here at night.Copy !req
83. With Betty Lou here.Copy !req
84. I was practicing for my fireman's exam,
which started seven minutes ago.Copy !req
85. So I'd appreciate it if you'd let me go.Copy !req
86. So you and the blonde found the meteor?Copy !req
87. Yeah, I found it.
It bounced my car 200 feet in the air.Copy !req
88. - Can I go?
- Bob, get him out of here.Copy !req
89. Don't leave town.Copy !req
90. Well, Sheriff, is this the...Copy !req
91. point of penetration?Copy !req
92. Yeah. It punched through into a cavern
about 80 feet down.Copy !req
93. Now that's a hole!Copy !req
94. Damn it!Copy !req
95. Next time, you carry the case.Copy !req
96. You're the USGS representative.
That responsibility comes with the badge.Copy !req
97. Oh, my God. Look at that.Copy !req
98. I believe we've located the target.Copy !req
99. Two big smiles, fellas.Copy !req
100. Cheese!Copy !req
101. Okay, hold it up now.Copy !req
102. - Got it.
- It's really hot.Copy !req
103. I'll hold you up.Copy !req
104. Show a little more nightstick.Copy !req
105. Look at these jackasses.Copy !req
106. Muscle pose. Give me big smiles!
Looking good.Copy !req
107. At ease, gentlemen! The feds are here.Copy !req
108. Feds? What feds?Copy !req
109. Who let you down here?Copy !req
110. Let's not get combative.Copy !req
111. The USGS and local law enforcement
have a long history of cooperation.Copy !req
112. We're just here to get
some scientific samples. If that's okay.Copy !req
113. Yeah, sure. We got
all the photographic evidence we need.Copy !req
114. - Carry on.
- Thanks. Keep up the good work.Copy !req
115. Wow.Copy !req
116. It just hit last night
and it has stuff growing on it.Copy !req
117. Could be cave moss.Copy !req
118. After just a few hours? That's peculiar.Copy !req
119. Let's get a sample and get out of here.Copy !req
120. It's bleeding.Copy !req
121. It's a rock that bleeds.Copy !req
122. Now that's really peculiar.Copy !req
123. Let's bag it.Copy !req
124. I don't know if this USGS gig
is all it's cracked up to be.Copy !req
125. I mean, it pads out my résumé,
but am I growing as a person?Copy !req
126. Am I growing as a Division 3
women's volleyball coach?Copy !req
127. You going to do that spectro-thingy test?Copy !req
128. Spectrograph.
Yeah, I will do a spectroscopic analysis.Copy !req
129. Your résumé will shine.Copy !req
130. I got to get to the game.
Let me know if you find anything.Copy !req
131. Ira, are you sure you can handle this
by your lonesome?Copy !req
132. All right.Copy !req
133. That's impossible.Copy !req
134. Ten base pairs.Copy !req
135. That can't be.Copy !req
136. Come on, ladies! Look alive up here!Copy !req
137. Tina! When Lisa goes for the spike,
you have to cover the line!Copy !req
138. Lisa! Two hands, okay? Two hands!Copy !req
139. God gave you two hands for a reason!Copy !req
140. Big news. The most amazing thing.Copy !req
141. The meteor samples are teeming
with one-celled organisms.Copy !req
142. Their metabolic rates are off the charts.Copy !req
143. They're dividing at an incredible rate.
Almost exponential.Copy !req
144. Their DNA has ten base pairs.Copy !req
145. Ten base pairs. That's good to know.Copy !req
146. Harry, the DNA of all earth life
has only four base pairs.Copy !req
147. Come on, ladies! Look alive!Copy !req
148. Harry...Copy !req
149. these are organisms from another world.Copy !req
150. They're aliens.Copy !req
151. Is the Nobel Prize paid in installments
or a lump sum, like the lottery?Copy !req
152. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.Copy !req
153. I'm not. I'm concerned about
the potential tax consequences.Copy !req
154. - Why in here?
- I just want to be cautious.Copy !req
155. Our discovery.Copy !req
156. I'm all tingly.Copy !req
157. Wow.Copy !req
158. I'm no biologist, but how many cells
do single-celled organisms have?Copy !req
159. If we want to be big important scientists,
you have to act the part.Copy !req
160. Take a look.Copy !req
161. There are multi-cellular organisms in there.Copy !req
162. I know.Copy !req
163. - They weren't there before.
- They snuck in.Copy !req
164. No, there was no sneaking in.Copy !req
165. It's too amazing.Copy !req
166. It's like they're evolving.Copy !req
167. They're growing.Copy !req
168. Growing into more complex organisms.Copy !req
169. It's evolution.Copy !req
170. Nobel, here we come.Copy !req
171. But it's 200 million years worth
in just a few hours.Copy !req
172. That's fast.Copy !req
173. You have no idea.Copy !req
174. Get ready!Copy !req
175. On my signal! Go!Copy !req
176. Recruit, wake up.Copy !req
177. Wake up!Copy !req
178. Go!Copy !req
179. - The hose! This thing here!
- Sorry.Copy !req
180. Move it!Copy !req
181. Wayne, go! Come on!Copy !req
182. These things happen, buddy.Copy !req
183. There's another test in six months.Copy !req
184. Six months? I can't wait six months!Copy !req
185. At least you have the pool gig
at the country club.Copy !req
186. Great. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
187. Drive careful.Copy !req
188. I got it. I do this.Copy !req
189. Looks like we have visitors.Copy !req
190. Class, since this is our first field trip,
I want you to obey some simple rules.Copy !req
191. Dirt.Copy !req
192. Nice footwear.Copy !req
193. Perfect for spelunking.
Now don't touch anything.Copy !req
194. Don't move anything.
Don't even breathe unless we say.Copy !req
195. Wear your protective gloves at all times.Copy !req
196. Why do we have to do this?Copy !req
197. Field experience.
The meat and potatoes of geology.Copy !req
198. - Will this be on the final?
- Yes.Copy !req
199. - Officer, nice to see you.
- What's up, Professor?Copy !req
200. We came to pick up the rock.Copy !req
201. Pick it up? What?Copy !req
202. Orders from the USGS.
They want it under controlled conditions.Copy !req
203. It's very technical.Copy !req
204. Oh, technical stuff. It's technical.Copy !req
205. Okay. Go right ahead.Copy !req
206. - We'll just haul it right out.
- Sure.Copy !req
207. Deke and Danny?
Remember what we talked about?Copy !req
208. You're in charge of hoisting.
Get the winch to the hole.Copy !req
209. Fellas? Stop nodding, and stare at me
for a second, okay?Copy !req
210. Focus.Copy !req
211. - You understand what I want you to do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
212. Go do it.Copy !req
213. Ira, I'm picking up
a heavy creepy vibe here.Copy !req
214. Yeah, a lot has changed.Copy !req
215. Class, I know these look like mushrooms,
but refrain from eating them.Copy !req
216. It smells disgusting.Copy !req
217. Nadine, sometimes science stinks.Copy !req
218. It's the game we play, baby.Copy !req
219. Rotten egg smell. Hydrogen sulfide, right?Copy !req
220. With ammonia and methane.
It's converting the atmosphere.Copy !req
221. Look at all this rudimentary plant life.
It's amazing.Copy !req
222. Not to get all girly here, but I feel
something wiggling around my toes.Copy !req
223. The ground does seem to be moving.Copy !req
224. Flatworms.Copy !req
225. Millions of them!Copy !req
226. Yuck!Copy !req
227. Barely 18 hours
and we already have flatworms.Copy !req
228. - Look.
- There they are!Copy !req
229. Hi, Dr. Kane!Copy !req
230. - I almost went down on that one!
- Awesome.Copy !req
231. Come here, little buddy.Copy !req
232. I won't hurt you.Copy !req
233. You didn't hurt it. You killed it.Copy !req
234. The oxygen must have killed it.Copy !req
235. It must need its own atmosphere to live.Copy !req
236. Grab a specimen jar. We'll scoop
some atmosphere in there with them.Copy !req
237. It took us two billion years to do
what they did in a couple of days.Copy !req
238. Those germs are the embodiment
of the American dream.Copy !req
239. I'm sorry to interrupt, Professor Block.Copy !req
240. But I was wondering if I'm correct
in assuming that that field trip...Copy !req
241. fulfilled any of my missing
credit assignments?Copy !req
242. Nadine, you are a very...Copy !req
243. very smart girl. If you would just focus.Copy !req
244. Professor, the little wiggly worm things
are breaking.Copy !req
245. Ira, look.Copy !req
246. It's not breaking. It's splitting.Copy !req
247. It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce.Copy !req
248. No sex?Copy !req
249. No time for sex.Copy !req
250. Bummer.Copy !req
251. - They're splitting again.
- Put it away.Copy !req
252. We call no one, we tell no one.
This is our secret.Copy !req
253. What about the government?
They usually get involved.Copy !req
254. - No government. I know those people.
- You do?Copy !req
255. This is our discovery.
We must maintain absolute control.Copy !req
256. We have to do more research and
check our findings. Document everything.Copy !req
257. Wayne?Copy !req
258. What's this?Copy !req
259. That would be an all-cotton towel, sir.
I believe it's a Fieldcrest.Copy !req
260. It's a damp towel.
What is a damp towel doing on my chaise?Copy !req
261. - Let me take care of this for you.
- You should, as pool manager.Copy !req
262. If anyone knows what to do
about the dampness on my chair, it's you.Copy !req
263. "You know what to do with the towels
because you're the pool boy."Copy !req
264. What the hell?Copy !req
265. Where did you guys come from?Copy !req
266. You're dead now.Copy !req
267. When I checked the samples this morning
I found three different subspecies.Copy !req
268. They're evolving so quickly God knows
what we'll find when we get back.Copy !req
269. - Please tell me there's an air show today.
- Damn.Copy !req
270. Shit.Copy !req
271. Can I help you?Copy !req
272. Harry Block, Ira Kane.
United States Geological Society.Copy !req
273. We're doing some important research.
This is our site.Copy !req
274. Not anymore. You're not on the list.Copy !req
275. What? We come here all the time.Copy !req
276. Well this is not a nightclub.
Why don't you take it somewhere else.Copy !req
277. I know my constitutional rights.
You can't tell...Copy !req
278. Harry! Maybe you can call your superior,
we can have a word with him?Copy !req
279. I have a Harry Block and an Ira Kane here...Copy !req
280. Punk.Copy !req
281. - Talk nice to the white man.
- I'll whup his ass.Copy !req
282. White man doesn't like to be yelled at.Copy !req
283. Ira Kane?Copy !req
284. The Ira Kane?Copy !req
285. I've looked forward to this for a long time.
You bastard!Copy !req
286. You're history! You're done!Copy !req
287. Get his gun!Copy !req
288. Take it easy! Okay, they're going up.Copy !req
289. You're responsible for the worst month
of my life!Copy !req
290. - What the hell was that about?
- I don't know.Copy !req
291. Drive down to the command tent.
They're expecting you.Copy !req
292. Go.Copy !req
293. That guy had me in diapers
for over a month!Copy !req
294. What the hell was that?Copy !req
295. - General Woodman's expecting you.
- Russell Woodman?Copy !req
296. What an unexpected surprise.Copy !req
297. For me, too.
I didn't know we were on a hugging basis.Copy !req
298. Same old Ira Kane. And you are?Copy !req
299. Harry Block, this is Gen. Russell Woodman,
head of U.S. Army Research.Copy !req
300. You two know each other?Copy !req
301. Ira used to work for me, right?Copy !req
302. I worked with you, actually.Copy !req
303. You worked in Army Research
in the Pentagon?Copy !req
304. All this time I thought you were just
a schoolteacher.Copy !req
305. No. How did you find out about this?Copy !req
306. You leave the Pentagon,
you don't call, you don't write.Copy !req
307. We like to keep tabs on our prodigal sons.Copy !req
308. You tapped my phone?Copy !req
309. No. We're not the KGB.Copy !req
310. We've been monitoring your computer.Copy !req
311. His computer?Copy !req
312. All those girls in the photos are over 18.Copy !req
313. Yes, I'm sure.Copy !req
314. I should have figured, Russell.Copy !req
315. You should've known better than
to keep something this big from us.Copy !req
316. And the CDC.Copy !req
317. Just in time. Ira, this is Allison Reed,
senior researcher in epidemiology at...Copy !req
318. the CDC.Copy !req
319. Nice underwear.Copy !req
320. A garter belt? At a day function?Copy !req
321. I can do it. Thank you.Copy !req
322. I'm okay.Copy !req
323. Dr. Kane.Copy !req
324. I'd heard about your recklessness
but you are way out of line on this one.Copy !req
325. Didn't you realise how dangerous
the situation could have become?Copy !req
326. Nice to meet you, too.Copy !req
327. No need to play the blame game, Allison.
No harm, no foul.Copy !req
328. We're all appreciative about the discovery
made by Dr. Kane and Mr. Black.Copy !req
329. Block.Copy !req
330. Block. I'm sorry.Copy !req
331. The confirmation that life exists
outside this planet...Copy !req
332. Would be the greatest
scientific discovery of our time.Copy !req
333. - Yes, actually.
- Yes, it would.Copy !req
334. You have my word you'll be
kept in the loop from this point on.Copy !req
335. You son of a bitch.Copy !req
336. Kept in the loop? We are the loop.Copy !req
337. We won't cut you out
but we need to take control.Copy !req
338. We're following protocol, Ira.
You remember protocol, don't you?Copy !req
339. I have some protocol right here for you,
come and get it.Copy !req
340. Look! The fact is, this research
must continue under government control.Copy !req
341. We've already secured the area.Copy !req
342. We're constructing an airlock
and a state-of-the-art field research facility.Copy !req
343. So there's not a whole lot
for the science department...Copy !req
344. of Glen Canyon Community College
to do here.Copy !req
345. Did you catch that condescending tone?Copy !req
346. We are following well-established
federal guidelines...Copy !req
347. Please, don't pull this crap.
We deserve to be here.Copy !req
348. You deserve to be here?Copy !req
349. You're lucky anybody's ever let you
near a science laboratory again.Copy !req
350. You're a disgrace,
and a dangerous one at that.Copy !req
351. Lieutenant, show these men out.Copy !req
352. This is horseshit.Copy !req
353. It's not over.Copy !req
354. You're in for a fight, Russell.Copy !req
355. Would you stop following me? Thank you.Copy !req
356. We won't bend over and take this!Copy !req
357. Fruit basket for Russell Woodman!Copy !req
358. Happy holidays, General!Copy !req
359. Cute.Copy !req
360. Dr. Kane, are you asking me to bar
the federal government from involvement...Copy !req
361. in a discovery as significant as this one?Copy !req
362. No. We're asking you to ensure the local
scientists who made the discovery...Copy !req
363. continue to play a significant role.Copy !req
364. They've kept us out for almost two weeks.Copy !req
365. We put our lives on the line to find
these little guys, Your Majesty.Copy !req
366. We just want to be there for them
as they grow up.Copy !req
367. We were first team at the meteor site and
all the initial testing was done in our lab.Copy !req
368. The facilities at Glen Canyon
Community College are a joke.Copy !req
369. They weren't a joke
when I went there, General.Copy !req
370. Your Honour, if the court would allow me
to depose Dr. Kane.Copy !req
371. Depose me?Copy !req
372. We think your past
is very relevant, Dr. Kane.Copy !req
373. These issues speak directly
to his competence as a scientist.Copy !req
374. Dr. Kane, you were a top-level researcher
at USAMRID from '94 to '97...Copy !req
375. were you not?Copy !req
376. That's correct.Copy !req
377. You were summarily dismissed
in the summer of 1997. Any idea why?Copy !req
378. My services were no longer required?Copy !req
379. So your firing had nothing to do
with an experimental anthrax vaccine...Copy !req
380. you developed and administered to
140,000 U.S. soldiers in May of that year?Copy !req
381. I see where you're going with this.Copy !req
382. It may have been a factor.
You need to ask the Joint Chiefs of Staff.Copy !req
383. I'll do that. For now, can you tell me
what happened...Copy !req
384. to the soldiers who were inoculated?Copy !req
385. None of them got anthrax,
if that's what you're asking.Copy !req
386. What did they get?Copy !req
387. Well, as with any new vaccine...Copy !req
388. there were certain side effects
associated with...Copy !req
389. Could you be more specific?Copy !req
390. It's very technical.
I'd hate to waste the court's time with it.Copy !req
391. Humour me.Copy !req
392. Some debilitating stomach cramps.Copy !req
393. Severe diarrhoea.Copy !req
394. Memory loss.Copy !req
395. Yes. Go on. Any more symptoms?Copy !req
396. Partial facial paralysis,
temporary blindness, drooling...Copy !req
397. bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction...Copy !req
398. uncontrollable flatulence.Copy !req
399. I think that's it.Copy !req
400. One more question.Copy !req
401. Do you remember
what the soldiers called this illness?Copy !req
402. They called it the Kane Madness.Copy !req
403. Keep your head up.Copy !req
404. You know she wants to give you some.Copy !req
405. Were you even in that courtroom?Copy !req
406. Getting barbecued like babyback ribs?
It's all foreplay.Copy !req
407. We've been hit.Copy !req
408. Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed.Copy !req
409. - Empty.
- This is bad. This is very, very bad.Copy !req
410. Damn it!Copy !req
411. I don't care who they are.
Stealing is stealing!Copy !req
412. They took the rock, the samples,
all the little wormy critters.Copy !req
413. All the data's gone. The JPEG files,
the DNA sequences. They cleaned us out.Copy !req
414. - I'm calling the cops.
- The cops?Copy !req
415. They are the cops!Copy !req
416. Then what?Copy !req
417. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
418. How come you get to be a colonel
and I'm just a private?Copy !req
419. I was a colonel.Copy !req
420. And you obviously served
your country with distinction.Copy !req
421. Consider yourself lucky.Copy !req
422. The penalty for impersonating an officer
is five years in prison.Copy !req
423. Maybe for you, white boy. Me, they hang.Copy !req
424. Colonels first.Copy !req
425. We been out here for twelve hours.
My toe is starting to hurt.Copy !req
426. Stop it.Copy !req
427. - Just act like you belong.
- Don't worry, I got this.Copy !req
428. - Pick up that butt, soldier.
- Sorry, sir.Copy !req
429. - And tuck that shirt in.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
430. Get the door.Copy !req
431. Thank you, Private.Copy !req
432. Don't get used to this.Copy !req
433. Look at that.Copy !req
434. Enjoy your lunch, gentlemen.Copy !req
435. Your girlfriend, 11:00.Copy !req
436. Darn it.Copy !req
437. The woman's a menace.Copy !req
438. Testing, one, two.Copy !req
439. This is DJ Harry Block here
and I'm an Aquarius.Copy !req
440. Stop. I can hear you.Copy !req
441. Don't snap at me, unless you want
an angry Solid Gold dancer on your hands.Copy !req
442. Lieutenant?Copy !req
443. Who's that?Copy !req
444. I don't know.Copy !req
445. I don't have anything on my schedule.Copy !req
446. Maybe it's the guys from Sector 12
doing a nocturnal specimen run.Copy !req
447. You know how those guys are.Copy !req
448. This place has changed.Copy !req
449. Can you believe this?Copy !req
450. Harry, look at that.Copy !req
451. Our little babies are growing up.Copy !req
452. Three weeks,
it's already like a rain forest in here.Copy !req
453. Looks like the kitchen
from my first apartment.Copy !req
454. Harry...Copy !req
455. check that guy out.Copy !req
456. Is it coming or going?Copy !req
457. That tree just ate it.Copy !req
458. Everything here seems to be food for
something else, so let's stay off the menu.Copy !req
459. You got that right.Copy !req
460. Come here, look at these little things.Copy !req
461. Cool.Copy !req
462. Snag one.Copy !req
463. Snag one?Copy !req
464. Yeah. Snag one and put it in the bucket.Copy !req
465. I've seen this movie.
The black dude dies first. You snag it.Copy !req
466. Don't be scared.
We came for a specimen, now snag one.Copy !req
467. He won't hurt you,
he's turned the other way. He's eating.Copy !req
468. Come on.Copy !req
469. Come on, my little red lobster.Copy !req
470. Come on, my sexy little crustacean.Copy !req
471. Look at that backside.Copy !req
472. Theatre-in-the-round. That's the kind of
trunk space you want in a late model car.Copy !req
473. Who does that remind you of?Copy !req
474. I have no idea what you're talking about.Copy !req
475. She's been throwing it at you enough.Copy !req
476. - Dr. Reed?
- Bull's-eye.Copy !req
477. Excuse me. Dr. Reed?
Did you authorise a walk-through?Copy !req
478. No. Why?Copy !req
479. You should probably
take a look at something.Copy !req
480. Here.Copy !req
481. That's the kind of rump you'd like to roast.
Kind of mother you'd like to butter.Copy !req
482. That is a nice image.
And I appreciate your assumption...Copy !req
483. that there is
an actual sexual human being...Copy !req
484. underneath
all Dr. Reed's deep-seated neuroses...Copy !req
485. - ... but I don't think so.
- What?Copy !req
486. I think she is a humourless ice queen.Copy !req
487. That's just a cover, don't you know that?
All she needs is a good humping.Copy !req
488. Oh, Ira. Ira!Copy !req
489. We have to get a piece of the asteroid.
And cut that out, it disturbs me.Copy !req
490. Don't do that behind my back like that.Copy !req
491. - I'm not doing it.
- Cut it out.Copy !req
492. I'm just walking.Copy !req
493. Let's bag that and get the hell out of here.Copy !req
494. I'm ready when you are, Colonel.
This disco suit is making me chafe.Copy !req
495. Shoo, fly.Copy !req
496. Hold it. Right there.Copy !req
497. Dr. Reed. Nice to see you again.
We were just leaving.Copy !req
498. You realise you're in violation of the
judge's orders. I could have you arrested.Copy !req
499. Talk about violations. What about our lab?Copy !req
500. Anyone have a can of Raid?Copy !req
501. - What are you talking about?
- You stole our computer files, our samples.Copy !req
502. - I didn't steal anything.
- Your buddies did.Copy !req
503. - They cleaned us out.
- No, we didn't.Copy !req
504. Damn right.Copy !req
505. You've been trying to grab credit...Copy !req
506. on our discovery from the beginning.
We just want what's rightfully ours.Copy !req
507. Credit has nothing to do with it.
I'm concerned with public safety.Copy !req
508. - Is any of this true, Flemming?
- Absolutely not.Copy !req
509. - Something's in my suit.
- You're not going to believe him!Copy !req
510. Something's in my suit.Copy !req
511. - What?
- There's something in my suit!Copy !req
512. That's impossible, it's sealed!Copy !req
513. The fly! There's a fly in my suit!Copy !req
514. Take off your helmet! Turn up the oxygen!Copy !req
515. It'll kill it!Copy !req
516. Do you see it? Look. Do you see it?Copy !req
517. No.Copy !req
518. - You're all right. Who's the man?
- You are.Copy !req
519. - No, you're the man!
- I'm the man.Copy !req
520. - You're the man!
- Okay.Copy !req
521. Oh, God.Copy !req
522. It's in me!Copy !req
523. For the love of everything holy,
get this thing out of me!Copy !req
524. You'll be okay! Cut him open and get it.Copy !req
525. Cut me open?
There goes your Christmas gift, you Judas!Copy !req
526. It's moving down his leg!Copy !req
527. - What do we do?
- Might have to amputate.Copy !req
528. Don't take my leg!
Don't let them take my leg!Copy !req
529. Anything else you can do?
He thinks he's an athlete.Copy !req
530. Doctor, look.Copy !req
531. It's heading for his testicles.Copy !req
532. Take it! Take the leg!Copy !req
533. Wait!Copy !req
534. It's going the other way.Copy !req
535. Give me some forceps.
I might be able to catch it in his colon.Copy !req
536. - How will you go in?
- Rectally.Copy !req
537. I'll get the lubricant.Copy !req
538. - No time.
- There's always time for lubricant!Copy !req
539. Flip him!Copy !req
540. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
541. - You have to try to relax.
- It'll be okay.Copy !req
542. I'll shove this gurney up your ass,
see if you relax!Copy !req
543. Cheek spreader.Copy !req
544. I'm going in.Copy !req
545. - Don't clench.
- You're so brave.Copy !req
546. - A little more.
- No more!Copy !req
547. A little deeper.Copy !req
548. No deeper!Copy !req
549. Squeeze my hand.Copy !req
550. - Almost there.
- Open up.Copy !req
551. - Breathe.
- I'm breathing.Copy !req
552. - Almost there.
- You're there!Copy !req
553. Got it!Copy !req
554. It's over.Copy !req
555. It just died.Copy !req
556. Don't you ever do that again!Copy !req
557. Those forceps were like this.
You took it like a man.Copy !req
558. You did great. Can we get you anything?Copy !req
559. Ice cream. I'd like an ice cream, please.Copy !req
560. What flavour?Copy !req
561. It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.Copy !req
562. Man!Copy !req
563. Now I'm a Hawaiian warrior?Copy !req
564. I'm thinking seriously about moving.
Maybe to California. Start over.Copy !req
565. Because of the fireman thing?
Big deal. You flunked out.Copy !req
566. You know how many times
I've flunked in my life?Copy !req
567. A ton.Copy !req
568. Pool boy, you watering down the mai tais?Copy !req
569. No, sir.
But let me fix you something special.Copy !req
570. Because you're nothing
but a big, fat monkey turd.Copy !req
571. Excuse me?Copy !req
572. Drink's almost ready.Copy !req
573. Here you go. That should tide you over.Copy !req
574. "Don't forget, folks
That's what you get, folksCopy !req
575. "For makin' whoopee"Copy !req
576. Damn it!Copy !req
577. That's going to stain.Copy !req
578. Barry!Copy !req
579. Barry, where are you? I can't see you?Copy !req
580. Where are you?Copy !req
581. I'm down here, my pet, by the water.Copy !req
582. Something just ate Barry Cartwright!Copy !req
583. That's too bad.Copy !req
584. I don't get it. How does someone
with your background...Copy !req
585. credentials, and talent end up...Copy !req
586. like you?Copy !req
587. Thank you.Copy !req
588. Your partner could have died.
What were you thinking?Copy !req
589. I was desperate.Copy !req
590. I've been exiled out here in Arizona
for five years...Copy !req
591. watching the world pass me by...Copy !req
592. and this amazing discovery
falls into my lap. It's my ticket out of here.Copy !req
593. I don't suppose you would understand that.Copy !req
594. No, how could I? I'm just a humourless
ice maiden in need of a good humping.Copy !req
595. You heard that?Copy !req
596. Loud and clear.Copy !req
597. Don't think you know so much about me.Copy !req
598. You don't.Copy !req
599. I'm sure I don't.Copy !req
600. Thank you for not calling the cops.Copy !req
601. - Be careful!
- Stop being such a baby.Copy !req
602. We've seen that car before.Copy !req
603. No more bran for me.Copy !req
604. Hey, girls.Copy !req
605. Cut it out.Copy !req
606. It's the meteor guy.Copy !req
607. What's in the bag, your blow-up doll?Copy !req
608. No. I've got something
you're really going to like.Copy !req
609. - What happened to you?
- Shut up.Copy !req
610. You guys teach here?Copy !req
611. I was thinking about taking some classes...Copy !req
612. but I decided to hit the job market
early and get a jump start on things.Copy !req
613. Can we help you?Copy !req
614. A guy got killed
at my country club last night.Copy !req
615. A real douchebag, but...Copy !req
616. that just doesn't make it right.Copy !req
617. It was an animal attack.Copy !req
618. Isn't that something?Copy !req
619. Happened by the water hazard on the 4th
green. The lady he was banging saw it.Copy !req
620. We chased this sucker on the fairway,
then it died in a sand trap.Copy !req
621. It just died? How?Copy !req
622. Like it was choking to death.Copy !req
623. You know? Stopped breathing.Copy !req
624. It's like nothing I ever saw before.
I thought you guys might want to see it.Copy !req
625. Jill, you've got some kind
of infestation here.Copy !req
626. You have a serious bug problem.Copy !req
627. Jill? There's something in your closet.Copy !req
628. Open the door, Grace.Copy !req
629. Me? It's your house.Copy !req
630. When did you guys get a dog?Copy !req
631. We don't have a damn dog.Copy !req
632. I don't think that's a dog.
It's like some kind of rodent.Copy !req
633. Or a muskrat or a pig.Copy !req
634. How did it get in here?Copy !req
635. It doesn't look too healthy, does it?Copy !req
636. Well, it's frightened.Copy !req
637. He can barely breathe, he's so scared.Copy !req
638. Come on, cutie pie.Copy !req
639. Don't be afraid.Copy !req
640. Come on. That's a good boy...Copy !req
641. 911?Copy !req
642. What the hell is that thing?Copy !req
643. Thanks.Copy !req
644. Pick me up in an hour. No, two.Copy !req
645. Well, an hour and a half would be good.Copy !req
646. Hi. Do you have any messages for me?Copy !req
647. Two single beds, please. We're fighting.Copy !req
648. Come on. I'm tired. I've had two hours
of sleep. I need a shower.Copy !req
649. They're spreading.Copy !req
650. You mean the golf course? Woodman sent
a team out there two hours ago.Copy !req
651. Too bad you missed the 5-foot
amphibian that's lying dead in my lab.Copy !req
652. They're adapting.
We have got to shut it down.Copy !req
653. You're overreacting. We can handle this.Copy !req
654. I used to be arrogant like you.Copy !req
655. We're both aware of what that led to.Copy !req
656. Take me seriously, Allison.Copy !req
657. I do take you seriously.Copy !req
658. Then talk to Woodman,
because he won't listen to me.Copy !req
659. We have to kill these things
while we still can.Copy !req
660. All right. I'll talk to him,
but I can't promise anything.Copy !req
661. Thank you.Copy !req
662. Just one more thing.Copy !req
663. Could you ever be attracted to me?Copy !req
664. - 'Bye, Ira.
- Just food for thought.Copy !req
665. She's mine.Copy !req
666. I've been an adjunct professor
for almost four years.Copy !req
667. I'm hoping this whole alien brouhaha will
net me an honorary doctorate somewhere.Copy !req
668. You going to finish that bacon?Copy !req
669. Yeah, I am. I ordered it, didn't I?Copy !req
670. So, about the coaching. Girls volleyball?Copy !req
671. Do you ever get to see them take showers?Copy !req
672. Yeah, all the time.
Sometimes I shower with them.Copy !req
673. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
674. - So?
- She's going to talk to Woodman.Copy !req
675. Thank goodness.Copy !req
676. I'm okay.Copy !req
677. So, level with me, fellows.Copy !req
678. Is there some sort of alien...Copy !req
679. attack happening here?Copy !req
680. We don't know.Copy !req
681. Could I borrow your cream?Copy !req
682. Hi, Denise.Copy !req
683. Hello, Ira. Still setting the world on fire?Copy !req
684. That's Ira's ex over there
sitting with the cop.Copy !req
685. Why the police escort?
You're not under arrest, are you?Copy !req
686. Funny. This is Sam.
He's about to make detective.Copy !req
687. I know Sam. Maybe you can look into
what happened to my missing shirts.Copy !req
688. Did I tell you? She left
with two or three of my shirts.Copy !req
689. See what I mean?Copy !req
690. I'm not up on the law,
but is it against the law to...Copy !req
691. walk out of someone's house
with what they own?Copy !req
692. You want your shirt? Seriously, take it.Copy !req
693. You must be cold, right? Is that it?Copy !req
694. Why should I wear a shirt that's yours?Copy !req
695. Calm down.Copy !req
696. It's amazing how many women
just open their shirt to him.Copy !req
697. He'll let you borrow the shirt
for just today. Right, Professor?Copy !req
698. 10-99, we have a code 12-72
over in Valley Vista...Copy !req
699. 12-72? That's an animal attack.Copy !req
700. 10-99 responding.Copy !req
701. - Got to go, babe.
- Now?Copy !req
702. They're calling.Copy !req
703. Be careful out there.Copy !req
704. You'll take care of the check, right?Copy !req
705. I want those shirts back, Denise.Copy !req
706. You have to admit, this animal attack
has kind of an ominous feel, doesn't it?Copy !req
707. - Check it out?
- Check it out.Copy !req
708. All right!Copy !req
709. Looks like we're under the microscope,
so let's be subtle. No cowboy stuff, okay?Copy !req
710. - No problem.
- Professionals.Copy !req
711. Officer Johnson.Copy !req
712. What are you doing here?Copy !req
713. We heard about the attack.Copy !req
714. Part of our job
is to ascertain if there's any health risk.Copy !req
715. No. Not this time. Forget about it.Copy !req
716. - You didn't touch it, right?
- That would be a serious no-no.Copy !req
717. - You did? He touched it.
- He shouldn't have touched it.Copy !req
718. - What do we do?
- I don't know.Copy !req
719. Okay. Why don't you come in
and take a look?Copy !req
720. I'll be checking things out...Copy !req
721. around here in this vicinity.Copy !req
722. This dog is all ass.Copy !req
723. Jeez. Ira, look at this, man.Copy !req
724. He would have come from in here, right?Copy !req
725. It's just used for storage
and access under the house.Copy !req
726. Looks like he crawled through the dirt.Copy !req
727. Hey, guys.Copy !req
728. I was conducting...Copy !req
729. a parameter check,
and there's something you better see.Copy !req
730. You liked that thing,
you're going to love this.Copy !req
731. What is it?Copy !req
732. What is it?Copy !req
733. Great googa-mooga!Copy !req
734. What did I tell you?Copy !req
735. They're crawling out.Copy !req
736. They're trying to breathe
in our atmosphere.Copy !req
737. Fortunately, they haven't been able
to adapt yet.Copy !req
738. - I think I know how these things got here.
- How?Copy !req
739. This entire area is just a honeycomb
of caves and old mine shafts.Copy !req
740. I believe the Moenave cave system
starts a few miles away...Copy !req
741. west of the golf course.
It runs into the foothills, continues to...Copy !req
742. the Kaibab Plateau
and goes right into Lake Powell.Copy !req
743. Our cave...Copy !req
744. is smack dab in the middle
of the system. It's all connected.Copy !req
745. - Could you repeat that?
- I'm impressed.Copy !req
746. Beneath this calm, sexy exterior
beats the heart of a true scientist.Copy !req
747. That one's moving.Copy !req
748. What the hell is it doing?Copy !req
749. I think it's trying to breathe.Copy !req
750. That's like a big loogie!Copy !req
751. Mazel tov. It's a boy.Copy !req
752. It's oxygen tolerant.Copy !req
753. It's flying away. Is that a bad thing?Copy !req
754. Only if you're a human being.Copy !req
755. You know how I hate shopping.Copy !req
756. - You need something for Thanksgiving.
- I have enough clothes.Copy !req
757. I think that color is great on you.Copy !req
758. I think this may be the place.Copy !req
759. Ever used one of these before?Copy !req
760. Just 'cause I'm a teacher
don't make me a pussy.Copy !req
761. Ladies, there's a flying extraterrestrial
in the store. Can we focus?Copy !req
762. I'm in here. Just a minute.Copy !req
763. Just a second, please!Copy !req
764. I said, just a second, bitch.Copy !req
765. How would you like me
to scratch out your eyes?Copy !req
766. Here, birdy-birdy-birdy-birdy-birdy!Copy !req
767. If I was a giant, nasty alien bird
in a department store, where would I be?Copy !req
768. - Lingerie.
- Not you, the bird.Copy !req
769. Lingerie.Copy !req
770. Help!Copy !req
771. You go low. I'm going high.Copy !req
772. We'll never find this damn thing.Copy !req
773. I lost him!Copy !req
774. How do you lose a 20-foot bird in a mall?Copy !req
775. I don't know.Copy !req
776. What do we do now?Copy !req
777. Wayne.Copy !req
778. I think we've established that
"ca-caw" and "tookie-tookie" don't work.Copy !req
779. Right. Sorry.Copy !req
780. So what do you say, Ira? Pack it in?Copy !req
781. Step back. I'm going to shoot him.Copy !req
782. Stand down. I'll kill this one myself.Copy !req
783. Give me a chance.
I'm communicating here.Copy !req
784. Wayne, please stop.
You are embarrassing me.Copy !req
785. It's working.Copy !req
786. Sing. Rub some funk on it.Copy !req
787. Here he comes!
You grab the girl, I'll get the bird.Copy !req
788. All right! Nice shot!Copy !req
789. I am so sorry. I swear to God...Copy !req
790. I will never shoplift again.Copy !req
791. Good.Copy !req
792. So what do you want, light meat or dark?Copy !req
793. You have to ask?Copy !req
794. It's dead now.Copy !req
795. I'm standing at the edge of
the Valley Vista housing community...Copy !req
796. where just below me are dozens of giant,
odd-looking, dead creatures.Copy !req
797. We should stress that, to this point,
we have had no official word from...Copy !req
798. This ugly tentacle came out of the ground
and tried to grab my private parts.Copy !req
799. I batted it away. It got my hand.Copy !req
800. There is anxiety and confusion
in the Glen Canyon area.Copy !req
801. We're outside the state capitol building
awaiting comment from the Governor...Copy !req
802. concerning the nature and origin
of these extraordinary creatures.Copy !req
803. Governor Lewis, this way.Copy !req
804. Can someone tell me
why I was not informed...Copy !req
805. that we have aliens
crawling all over my beloved state?Copy !req
806. Right now, 400 media vultures
are camped outside my office.Copy !req
807. They know more about this than I do.Copy !req
808. I should throw the bunch of you
into prison.Copy !req
809. Not the cushy federal place with jumpsuits.
State prison, with crotch binders.Copy !req
810. I'm sorry, but there were earlier security
breaches by Dr. Kane and his team.Copy !req
811. Wait a minute. No, no. Excuse me.Copy !req
812. That's not exactly true, Gen. Woodman.Copy !req
813. I believe the Governor's question
was directed at me.Copy !req
814. Put a plug in it!
I'm not interested in bureaucratic crapola.Copy !req
815. I want to know how bad this thing is.Copy !req
816. It's bad, Governor.Copy !req
817. According to the new ground sensors
and satellite thermal scans...Copy !req
818. they indicate a potential problem.Copy !req
819. I can't read this. What kind of problem?Copy !req
820. Someone take this bag of snakes
and lay them out straight.Copy !req
821. Allow me.Copy !req
822. - And you are?
- Dr. Allison Reed.Copy !req
823. Carla? Would you mind?Copy !req
824. The red markings indicate the growth
of the alien ecosystem.Copy !req
825. Unless we act immediately,
we will lose Glen Canyon in three days.Copy !req
826. Great merciful Christ.Copy !req
827. In a week, the rest of Arizona.Copy !req
828. Then, the entire southwest.Copy !req
829. In two months, the United States
officially belongs to them.Copy !req
830. And we are extinct.Copy !req
831. You must be shitting me!Copy !req
832. Admit it. You're glad to see us.Copy !req
833. Yes, I am. Call the MP's.
Have them arrested.Copy !req
834. We just blew a giant alien bird out of
a store. We're covering up your mess.Copy !req
835. I'm Dr. Ira Kane,
chairman of the science department...Copy !req
836. Glen Canyon Community College.
This is my associate.Copy !req
837. Harry Block, adjunct professor of geology.
Voted for you.Copy !req
838. Wayne Gray.
I took some chemistry in high school.Copy !req
839. You two are the original discoverers
of the phenomena, correct?Copy !req
840. Yes, and they're also responsible
for the mess we're in now.Copy !req
841. Here we go.Copy !req
842. They broke into the contained area,
breaching security procedures.Copy !req
843. Disseminating the alien organisms
outside the secured area.Copy !req
844. Liar, liar, pants on fire!Copy !req
845. Criminal charges are in order!Copy !req
846. - This is bullshit!
- It is not!Copy !req
847. Shut up all of you! Listen.Copy !req
848. My state is being overrun by aliens.Copy !req
849. Now you're supposed to be experts.
I want to know, and quick:Copy !req
850. How will you deal with this?Copy !req
851. This is an outline of the infected area
as of this afternoon.Copy !req
852. My plan is to evacuate everyone
from within five miles of the perimeter.Copy !req
853. You're talking about 10,000 people.Copy !req
854. Yes, sir. We evacuate, make it safe...Copy !req
855. then burn the alien menace
the hell out of there.Copy !req
856. With what?Copy !req
857. With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm.Copy !req
858. Napalm? Why don't you just nuke them?Copy !req
859. What about nukes?Copy !req
860. Nobody's dropping an H-bomb on my state.Copy !req
861. All this talk about napalm
and burning makes me nervous.Copy !req
862. And we don't know how they'd react
to such an attack on a cellular level.Copy !req
863. Governor, it's time for a military solution.
This will work.Copy !req
864. General? Sorry to interrupt.
You better take a look at this.Copy !req
865. What?Copy !req
866. You called me out for this?Copy !req
867. Sir, one of the creatures
just destroyed video four.Copy !req
868. What's going on down there?Copy !req
869. My God. They've evolved into primates.Copy !req
870. That's a face for radio.Copy !req
871. They took out six and seven.Copy !req
872. All the monitors are down.Copy !req
873. Well, that can't be good.Copy !req
874. That's the elevator.Copy !req
875. We have no personnel down there.Copy !req
876. They breached the air lock.Copy !req
877. The fuzzy no-nose chimp?Copy !req
878. Call for backup.Copy !req
879. We need backup!Copy !req
880. They're coming through the elevator!Copy !req
881. They're coming through the elevator!Copy !req
882. - Cover the elevator!
- Give me a sidearm!Copy !req
883. Okay, just stay behind me!Copy !req
884. Get off me! I want to see!Copy !req
885. Be prepared to fire.Copy !req
886. It's empty, sir.Copy !req
887. The Governor! Don't shoot!Copy !req
888. Help!Copy !req
889. Do something!Copy !req
890. Hold your fire. You'll get someone killed.Copy !req
891. Nice shot.Copy !req
892. I'll take that now.Copy !req
893. You have my full support
to do whatever you need to do...Copy !req
894. however much firepower it takes.Copy !req
895. Melt the place down to beaded glass,
if that's what it takes.Copy !req
896. Get these hellish creazoids
out of my state!Copy !req
897. Thank you, Governor.
I'll be ready to go by noon tomorrow.Copy !req
898. Good, sir.Copy !req
899. - Where've you two been?
- Just getting out of the way...Copy !req
900. Get me out of here.Copy !req
901. Science project is over.Copy !req
902. I want you and your people gone.Copy !req
903. Soldier, escort these men out.Copy !req
904. Don't you have work to do?Copy !req
905. You are such an asshole.Copy !req
906. When a woman expresses anger,
it's often because...Copy !req
907. Shut up, Flemming.Copy !req
908. Okay. I know where the car is.Copy !req
909. Wipe my ass, too.Copy !req
910. Hey, guys!Copy !req
911. Got room for one more?Copy !req
912. Hell, yeah.Copy !req
913. Who wants to be deputy director
of the CDC, anyway?Copy !req
914. The real money's in the private sector.Copy !req
915. - Are you sure about this?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
916. Listen, it may not seem like much now...Copy !req
917. but I got your research files
and original samples.Copy !req
918. So...Copy !req
919. if we survive this,
you guys will get the credit.Copy !req
920. Thank you.Copy !req
921. - It's nothing.
- Let me get it.Copy !req
922. No, I got it.Copy !req
923. Sorry. Excuse me.Copy !req
924. We haven't been formally introduced.
I'm Wayne Gray.Copy !req
925. I'm kind of with him.Copy !req
926. That's cool.Copy !req
927. Buckle up, Allison. We're rolling.Copy !req
928. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
929. Facilities are being provided for you
and your families.Copy !req
930. Please move in an orderly fashion.Copy !req
931. They're going to blow up the whole town.Copy !req
932. Hey! Hold on!Copy !req
933. Where the hell you going?Copy !req
934. We need to clear this area, people.Copy !req
935. For your own safety,
evacuate immediately.Copy !req
936. Professor Kane!Copy !req
937. Arizona! It's going down, baby!Copy !req
938. This may not be the best time
to be drinking.Copy !req
939. I was your first. We discovered you
in that cave. You were scared and alone.Copy !req
940. It was just you, me and Harry.Copy !req
941. Those were good times.Copy !req
942. So, why not level with me now?Copy !req
943. You can trust me. Just talk to me.Copy !req
944. Tell me the secret. Tell me the answer.
Tell me how to kill you.Copy !req
945. You are losing it, pal.Copy !req
946. What is that stuff anyway?Copy !req
947. Some of the original liquid material
from inside the meteor.Copy !req
948. - Why hasn't it evolved like the rest?
- I don't know. Maybe being refrigerated?Copy !req
949. Being in an airtight case, nothing to
metabolise with. But we've still no clue...Copy !req
950. When did you start smoking?Copy !req
951. Not much of a point
to clean living anymore.Copy !req
952. They react to fire like it was Miracle-Gro.Copy !req
953. Fire.Copy !req
954. The organisms were dormant in space.
They hit Earth's atmosphere and bam!Copy !req
955. Heat. Fire. That's the catalyst.Copy !req
956. So if a tiny match catalyses
this stuff like this...Copy !req
957. what's a ton of napalm going to do?Copy !req
958. So much for the military option.Copy !req
959. Better call that dick general.Copy !req
960. - That's a lot of napalm.
- Yes, it is.Copy !req
961. We're going to blow those creatures
straight to hell.Copy !req
962. We'll flush them out along the mine shafts
then mop up the edges as they...Copy !req
963. run trying to escape the flames.Copy !req
964. Excuse me, sir.
There's an urgent call from Dr. Reed.Copy !req
965. She says she has important information
about the mission.Copy !req
966. Oh, really?
Well, unfortunately, I'm not available.Copy !req
967. Anything more?Copy !req
968. No, sir.Copy !req
969. He blew me off. Can you believe it?Copy !req
970. - He wouldn't even take my call.
- You did call him an asshole.Copy !req
971. Dr. K!Copy !req
972. - We got beer!
- Time to party!Copy !req
973. - I'll take one of those.
- Me, too. I just quit smoking.Copy !req
974. What are you boys doing here?Copy !req
975. Thought you could use a brew
so you can mellow out.Copy !req
976. Kick back and chill.Copy !req
977. Have a beer, relax.
It'll help with your research.Copy !req
978. Yeah, help with your research.Copy !req
979. Look at that thing.Copy !req
980. Can we have that
when you're done with it?Copy !req
981. Fellas, thanks for the beers,
but we're working.Copy !req
982. Hold it.Copy !req
983. - Look.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
984. Selenium. It could be the answer.Copy !req
985. I'm looking at the periodic table
on your T-shirt. I'm seeing a pattern.Copy !req
986. Take off your shirt.Copy !req
987. Yes.Copy !req
988. - No.
- All right, look.Copy !req
989. We are a carbon-based life form.Copy !req
990. Keep pulling.Copy !req
991. We move down here
and you find our poison: Arsenic.Copy !req
992. But the aliens are nitrogen-based, right?Copy !req
993. You make the same move...Copy !req
994. down and over,
and where do you find yourself?Copy !req
995. Selenium.Copy !req
996. It could be as lethal to them
as arsenic is to us.Copy !req
997. With their metabolic rates,
it'll kill them fast.Copy !req
998. Selenium. How much do we need?Copy !req
999. Five hundred gallons should do it.Copy !req
1000. Five hundred gallons?Copy !req
1001. I hate to be a buzzkill,
but where will we get that at 2:00 a.m.?Copy !req
1002. No problem.Copy !req
1003. We can get that.Copy !req
1004. Head & Shoulders.Copy !req
1005. The dandruff shampoo?Copy !req
1006. Yeah, that's the stuff.
The active ingredient is selenium sulphide.Copy !req
1007. How do you know that?
You don't know anything.Copy !req
1008. Haven't you noticed
how shiny and flake-free our hair is?Copy !req
1009. Okay, this is the best idea we got.Copy !req
1010. Let's give it a shot. Come on.Copy !req
1011. We'll get the troops together.
We're getting shampoo!Copy !req
1012. I have the perfect vehicle.Copy !req
1013. Good! Donalds, you just got your A's.Copy !req
1014. Almost full.Copy !req
1015. There's something I should tell you,
but I don't know exactly how.Copy !req
1016. Just say it. We're adults and we're
about to die a horrible death soon anyway.Copy !req
1017. I would have rocked your world.Copy !req
1018. - You already have.
- All full.Copy !req
1019. Battle stations!Copy !req
1020. Can we continue this discussion later?Copy !req
1021. Let's do this!Copy !req
1022. Let's shampoo us some aliens!Copy !req
1023. Lots of soldiers around.Copy !req
1024. There's an old mine half a click south.
We can sneak into the cave through there.Copy !req
1025. "Half a click"? What are you, in Vietnam?Copy !req
1026. Hey, I'm digging this. Work with me.Copy !req
1027. It's over here! It's right here!Copy !req
1028. - Are you okay?
- I'm good.Copy !req
1029. Let's go!Copy !req
1030. Let's do this.Copy !req
1031. You sure this leads to the main cavern?Copy !req
1032. It'll lead somewhere.
Geology's not an exact science.Copy !req
1033. Where are you?Copy !req
1034. Where are you, my little aliens?Copy !req
1035. Show yourself.Copy !req
1036. Warm to the touch.Copy !req
1037. Highly acidic.Copy !req
1038. We've no time for you
to act like you know what you're doing.Copy !req
1039. What happened to the respect?Copy !req
1040. Woodman's going at noon.
We have to hurry.Copy !req
1041. - Good. Are the troops in place?
- Ahead of schedule.Copy !req
1042. Excellent. We can go early.Copy !req
1043. Oh, no. What is he doing here?Copy !req
1044. Governor Lewis.Copy !req
1045. I don't see anything burning.
Where are all the explosions?Copy !req
1046. We're just getting underway.
I didn't know you were coming to watch.Copy !req
1047. Well, better make it a good one, Sergeant.Copy !req
1048. That's General.Copy !req
1049. Not if you screw this up.
Keeping my chair warm for me?Copy !req
1050. Thank you.Copy !req
1051. I'll take a pair of spy glasses
and a hot chocolate.Copy !req
1052. Give me the hose.Copy !req
1053. Get up top. When I give the signal,
start pumping the selenium.Copy !req
1054. Got it.Copy !req
1055. We'll spray all around the meteor...Copy !req
1056. then get out of here as fast as we can.Copy !req
1057. Blue monkey!Copy !req
1058. Wayne, charge the line now!Copy !req
1059. That's the napalm!Copy !req
1060. Woodman went early.Copy !req
1061. Bad!Copy !req
1062. Wayne, come on!Copy !req
1063. I'm out.Copy !req
1064. We've got to go!Copy !req
1065. Go! Faster! Get up there!Copy !req
1066. Run for your life!Copy !req
1067. Quite a bonfire we've got.
Should have brought some wieners.Copy !req
1068. That can be arranged.Copy !req
1069. - First reports are excellent, sir.
- Very good.Copy !req
1070. Keep it together, Wayne.Copy !req
1071. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1072. What's happening?Copy !req
1073. - It's coming!
- What's coming?Copy !req
1074. Get the hell out of here!Copy !req
1075. - Great flaming whore balls!
- General, look!Copy !req
1076. Hurry!Copy !req
1077. - Drive!
- Go!Copy !req
1078. All right!Copy !req
1079. Fall back!Copy !req
1080. What the hell is that thing?Copy !req
1081. The napalm forced an evolutionary
response, like the match in the petri dish.Copy !req
1082. That's evolution?Copy !req
1083. Survival of the fittest. Often,
the simplest organism is the strongest.Copy !req
1084. Guys? It's freaking out!Copy !req
1085. It's starting to have
some sort of spaz attack.Copy !req
1086. That's not spazzing out.Copy !req
1087. It's getting ready to divide.Copy !req
1088. Mitosis.Copy !req
1089. Wait. There's going to be more
of these things?Copy !req
1090. - A lot more.
- Its cycle is starting again.Copy !req
1091. It will go on growing and doubling
until it takes over.Copy !req
1092. But we were here first.Copy !req
1093. So that Head & Shoulders idea.
Is that still the plan?Copy !req
1094. I'm driving.Copy !req
1095. So what if he's on Air Force One?
It has phones. I've seen them!Copy !req
1096. I don't think this can wait an hour.Copy !req
1097. What's that fire truck doing out there?Copy !req
1098. Mama.Copy !req
1099. Can you believe this?Copy !req
1100. We have to find a point of attack.Copy !req
1101. There!Copy !req
1102. Nasty!Copy !req
1103. Allison, stop. Right here.Copy !req
1104. Here we go!Copy !req
1105. Get the ladder up!Copy !req
1106. Feed me the hose, Deke.Copy !req
1107. - What are you doing?
- Going up top.Copy !req
1108. Not before me.
I got a major score to settle.Copy !req
1109. Go, go, go!Copy !req
1110. We don't have much time, guys! Hurry!Copy !req
1111. - Left!
- Left!Copy !req
1112. Got it.
I haven't had much practice with this.Copy !req
1113. Stop!Copy !req
1114. - What's going on?
- I don't know, but it's getting bigger.Copy !req
1115. What are they doing with that ladder?Copy !req
1116. Looks like they're getting ready
to administer a jumbo enema.Copy !req
1117. We got one shot. Let's do this.Copy !req
1118. It's payback time!Copy !req
1119. Keep it in there!Copy !req
1120. What's it look like I'm doing?Copy !req
1121. It's working!Copy !req
1122. Shit!Copy !req
1123. What the hell?Copy !req
1124. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1125. Give me back my friend, you big sphincter!Copy !req
1126. She's going to blow!Copy !req
1127. Stop kicking!Copy !req
1128. It's horrible in here!Copy !req
1129. - I got you!
- Help me!Copy !req
1130. Hold me, Ira! Don't let me go!Copy !req
1131. We have to get out of here!
This thing's going to blow!Copy !req
1132. You cannot imagine what I saw in there!Copy !req
1133. Hurry up, guys!Copy !req
1134. Ira! Don't you ever tell anyone
where I've been!Copy !req
1135. Dear Lord.Copy !req
1136. Uh-oh. Time to go.Copy !req
1137. Go!Copy !req
1138. We did it!Copy !req
1139. Here we go, sir. Just relax
and we'll have you as good as new.Copy !req
1140. I am happy to report
that all remaining traces...Copy !req
1141. of the alien menace
have been eradicated...Copy !req
1142. using the selenium shampoo formula
developed right here.Copy !req
1143. Let me introduce our civilian scientist
heroes and their team...Copy !req
1144. the best the great state of Arizona
has been privileged to produce.Copy !req
1145. So this is your moment. You wouldn't
want to miss this for anything.Copy !req
1146. Firstly, I would like you all
to meet Wayne Gray.Copy !req
1147. As of today, a fully credentialed fire-fighter.Copy !req
1148. I spoke to the chief.Copy !req
1149. Thanks, Governor.Copy !req
1150. Now, our next hero...Copy !req
1151. Professor Harry Block, noted geologist...Copy !req
1152. and winningest coach
in north Arizona women's volleyball.Copy !req
1153. I appreciate that, Governor.Copy !req
1154. First, I thank God.
With Him, all things are possible.Copy !req
1155. We just played tough defense,
took it one alien at a time...Copy !req
1156. and came away with the big W.Copy !req
1157. And finally...Copy !req
1158. Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed...Copy !req
1159. whose tireless efforts, research,
and academic findings led to the...Copy !req
1160. I think he's giving her
a bit of the Kane Madness.Copy !req
1161. Wow! Fighting the alien menace
can be tough work.Copy !req
1162. So is keeping your hair clean,
shiny and dandruff-free.Copy !req
1163. So we always keep a healthy supply of...Copy !req
1164. Head & Shoulders around the house.Copy !req