1. Uh...Copy !req
2. Oh, I have to finish
all this before...Copy !req
3. Go and steam
the tablecloths for tonight.Copy !req
4. I'm going to paint over that
water stain in the ceiling.Copy !req
5. Huh!Copy !req
6. - Huh? Oh.Copy !req
7. Like, this afternoon?Copy !req
8. - Five minutes!
- What?Copy !req
9. Which paint did you use?Copy !req
10. Joy is here? Go set the table.
He must be hungry.Copy !req
11. - We talk later?Copy !req
12. Hey, hey!Copy !req
13. Thank you for doing this.Copy !req
14. You look really pretty
right now.Copy !req
15. Oh, you like this...Copy !req
16. .. this hot Mormon look?Copy !req
17. I'm just telling you now
in case my mom saysCopy !req
18. something dumb
like you're fat or whatever.Copy !req
19. I thought you said when she saysCopy !req
20. shit like that,
it means she cares.Copy !req
21. Hi, Evelyn.Copy !req
22. - Mrs Wang!
- Hey, Mom.Copy !req
23. I only cook enough food
for three people.Copy !req
24. Now I have to cook more.Copy !req
25. It's Joy. She brought Becky.Copy !req
26. - Hi!
- Hi, honey!Copy !req
27. Hi, Mr Wang!Copy !req
28. Hi, Becky!
Thank you for coming.Copy !req
29. Please call me Waymond.
Here, sit.Copy !req
30. You know,
he doesn't have to stay.Copy !req
31. Who's he?Copy !req
32. - Becky.
- Becky's a she.Copy !req
33. You know me.Copy !req
34. I always mix up 'he', 'she'.Copy !req
35. In Chinese,
just one word - 'ta' - so easy.Copy !req
36. And the way
you two are dressed,Copy !req
37. I'm sure I'm not the only one
calling him 'he'.Copy !req
38. I mean her 'him'. Ugh!Copy !req
39. Anyways, my English is fine
and we have Google.Copy !req
40. So you don't have to come
and be a translator.Copy !req
41. - You stay here.Copy !req
42. And she can go.Copy !req
43. Look, I honestly
think it's weird, OK?Copy !req
44. But Becky wants to help.
Right, Becky?Copy !req
45. I always learn something when
I hang out with the elderly.Copy !req
46. Old people are very wise.Copy !req
47. Hmm. It's OK.Copy !req
48. We'll take Gong Gong
with us to the meeting.Copy !req
49. Uh, you and Becky stay here
and decorate. Hmm?Copy !req
50. Where is he?
When can I meet him?Copy !req
51. - Huh! Customers.Copy !req
52. Eat fast.Copy !req
53. - Mom.
- What?Copy !req
54. Mom, just wait.Copy !req
55. Wait? Wait?
No time to wait today.Copy !req
56. - Just please...Copy !req
57. Joy, any other time,
I beg you to come and eatCopy !req
58. or call me or anything,
but today very busy.Copy !req
59. Mom, this is literally
what it's always like.Copy !req
60. Wrong white paint!Copy !req
61. I know you haven't always
liked Becky, OK, but...Copy !req
62. I like Becky. She is very nice.Copy !req
63. You are very lucky...Copy !req
64. - She's half Mexican.Copy !req
65. Ugh!Copy !req
66. - Huh!
- No shoes in washer.Copy !req
67. Broken, you pay, yeah?Copy !req
68. But Gong Gong,
his heart cannot take it,Copy !req
69. especially after
such a long flight.Copy !req
70. You want him to come all the way
from China to die like that?Copy !req
71. - He's not gonna die.Copy !req
72. Ooh!Copy !req
73. - How can I help you?
- Just hold on. I can't hear you.Copy !req
74. - Just hold on.
- How can I help you?Copy !req
75. I'm here to pick up some shirts.Copy !req
76. - I called, like, three times.
- Give me your ticket.Copy !req
77. - Mmm-hmm, yeah.
- I find for you.Copy !req
78. - No, I have the ticket.
- Babe...Copy !req
79. She's just asking
for it 'cause that's, like,Copy !req
80. the way that it works.Copy !req
81. They don't read minds.Copy !req
82. - Then hang up! Thank you.Copy !req
83. We've been together
for three years.Copy !req
84. Don't you think Gong Gong
would want to know?Copy !req
85. Let him enjoy his party tonight.Copy !req
86. Yeah, you think
Becky's gonna get throughCopy !req
87. the whole party without
introducing herself...Copy !req
88. - Evelyn!
- Have you met Becky?Copy !req
89. Guess whose $20 got eaten
by the machine again.Copy !req
90. Waymond! Customers need you!Copy !req
91. Alright, coming!Copy !req
92. Evelyn, you know,
my wife used to wearCopy !req
93. that exact same perfume,
God rest her soul.Copy !req
94. Are you coming
to the party tonight?Copy !req
95. Yeah, I got my ticket
right here.Copy !req
96. Sorry. It was too crowded here
so I moved some upstairs.Copy !req
97. I think the clothes
are happier there.Copy !req
98. See? They're happier here.Copy !req
99. No more google eyes!Copy !req
100. Mom, can we please
talk about Becky?Copy !req
101. I still don't know
what his brain is thinking.Copy !req
102. Can Becky
come tonight or not?Copy !req
103. - Stop changing the subject.
- I'm not.Copy !req
104. You know, it's like our auditor.Copy !req
105. She is a terrible person.Copy !req
106. She keeps targeting
the Chinese in the community.Copy !req
107. You know, two years of meetings,Copy !req
108. she puts a lien
on our laundromat.Copy !req
109. And you know
what your father does?Copy !req
110. He brings her cookies.Copy !req
111. Every day I fight, I fight.Copy !req
112. I fight for all of us.Copy !req
113. Every day is a battle here.Copy !req
114. Oh, your father, he doesn't care
about the way things are...Copy !req
115. I try to make our lives
easier and more simple.Copy !req
116. You should
have told me earlier.Copy !req
117. - That's really impressive.Copy !req
118. Evelyn, you have
to see Rick dance.Copy !req
119. Look, he knows all of the moves.Copy !req
120. Becky,
I'll fucking kill myself.Copy !req
121. He wants to be an actor,
just like you did.Copy !req
122. - Ah! I love this!Copy !req
123. - Hey!
- Rick, you're so terrific.Copy !req
124. I know. I just...Copy !req
125. I just don't know how to be
any fucking clearer.Copy !req
126. It's like she can choose -Copy !req
127. either you come
to the party with meCopy !req
128. and Gong Gong
is eternally ashamedCopy !req
129. until he forgets it all
and then he diesCopy !req
130. or you don't come with me
and then he still dies.Copy !req
131. - What? Huh!Copy !req
132. - What are you saying?
- That was a joke.Copy !req
133. Uh, that's not
a very funny joke, honey.Copy !req
134. - Hey, guys...
- This is only $10.Copy !req
135. I thought you people
were very good with math.Copy !req
136. - Next time I give you interest.
- Evelyn?Copy !req
137. - Mom, Mom...Copy !req
138. - Mom! Mom!
- What?Copy !req
139. Huh!Copy !req
140. Waymond! Waymond!Copy !req
141. - Huh?Copy !req
142. Oh!Copy !req
143. Uh...Copy !req
144. Uh...Copy !req
145. - Uh...Copy !req
146. Shit, how do you say it? Uh...Copy !req
147. Oh!Copy !req
148. Mom...Copy !req
149. You know what?
I'm actually not doing that.Copy !req
150. It's like
at this point I do not...Copy !req
151. It was nice to meet you!Copy !req
152. Hi!
Give us five-star cleaning.Copy !req
153. - Also...Copy !req
154. There is a Chinese
New Year party tonight,Copy !req
155. open to all the customers
in the community.Copy !req
156. Thank you.Copy !req
157. - Please come and enjoy...
- This is fine.Copy !req
158. - .. the good food...
- OK.Copy !req
159. - .. and nice music, OK?
- Alright.Copy !req
160. I get you an invite.
Moment... moment, please.Copy !req
161. - Can you hear this right now?
- Joy, wait! Please!Copy !req
162. I have something to say to you!Copy !req
163. What?Copy !req
164. You...Copy !req
165. ..you have to try
and eat healthier.Copy !req
166. You are getting fat.Copy !req
167. Evelyn?Copy !req
168. Evelyn?Copy !req
169. - Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
170. OK!Copy !req
171. If I have to think
of one more thing today,Copy !req
172. my head will explode.Copy !req
173. You may be in grave danger.Copy !req
174. There's no time to explain.
Hold this.Copy !req
175. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
176. Pay attention.Copy !req
177. When we leave this elevator,
you can either turn leftCopy !req
178. towards your scheduled
audit appointmentCopy !req
179. or you can turn right and go
into the janitor's closet.Copy !req
180. Why would I go
into the janitor's...Copy !req
181. Not now.Copy !req
182. Why you download
all these apps on my phone?Copy !req
183. Breathe in.Copy !req
184. You're gonna feel a slight
pressure in your head.Copy !req
185. - Huh!Copy !req
186. Hey, baby Joy!Copy !req
187. - You come back here!Copy !req
188. Shut up!Copy !req
189. You don't talk
to your mother like this!Copy !req
190. I'll talk to her
how I fucking want!Copy !req
191. - Activation...Copy !req
192. The moment you're
situated in your meeting,Copy !req
193. follow these instructions.Copy !req
194. But, remember, no-one can know.Copy !req
195. Don't even talk to me
about thisCopy !req
196. because I won't remember.Copy !req
197. - But I...
- Shh.Copy !req
198. Mental scan complete.Copy !req
199. Talk to you soon.Copy !req
200. Hello!Copy !req
201. Mrs Wang?Copy !req
202. Mrs Wang?Copy !req
203. Mrs Wang, are you with us?Copy !req
204. Yes.Copy !req
205. Of course. I am here.Copy !req
206. - Just thinking.
- Oh, OK.Copy !req
207. Well, I was just hoping...Copy !req
208. .. that you could explain this.Copy !req
209. This is a receipt.Copy !req
210. My receipt.Copy !req
211. Look, I...Copy !req
212. ..I was just hoping
you could enlighten meCopy !req
213. as to how,
as a laundromat owner,Copy !req
214. a karaoke machineCopy !req
215. could constitute
a business expense?Copy !req
216. I am a singer.Copy !req
217. - Of course you are.
- It's true.Copy !req
218. She has a beautiful voice. Oh!Copy !req
219. Evelyn, sing a song for her.Copy !req
220. - Shh!
- No, no, please.Copy !req
221. That will not be necessary.Copy !req
222. But I will need
a separate Schedule CCopy !req
223. for each of these businessesCopy !req
224. because based on what
you're trying to deduct,Copy !req
225. you're also a novelist
and a chef.Copy !req
226. Last time, you told me that...Copy !req
227. Please.Copy !req
228. ..a teacher,Copy !req
229. uh, and a singing coachCopy !req
230. and a 'Watsu' technician.Copy !req
231. I'm sorry.
What... what is 'Watsu'?Copy !req
232. It's a water massage.Copy !req
233. What's a water massage?Copy !req
234. Like...
like for back pain.Copy !req
235. You go get a water massage.Copy !req
236. - Oh, you go?
- Yes.Copy !req
237. What's happening?Copy !req
238. ..like I'm talking
to my ex-husband.Copy !req
239. Like I said to you before,
co-mingling of your...Copy !req
240. - It's you messing with my head.
- Shh!Copy !req
241. - Don't shh me!
- You got to relax your body.Copy !req
242. Don't...Copy !req
243. Calm down, please!Copy !req
244. - Calm down.Copy !req
245. Relax your body
in the other universe. Please.Copy !req
246. .. these deductions...Copy !req
247. Go into auto-pilot.Copy !req
248. You can't then
deduct it if it's an off...Copy !req
249. - Good. Good.Copy !req
250. They don't know you and I
are in this universe yetCopy !req
251. so, hopefully, I'll have
some time to explain.Copy !req
252. I am not your husband.
At least not the one you know.Copy !req
253. I am another version of himCopy !req
254. from another life path,
another universe.Copy !req
255. I'm here because
we need your help.Copy !req
256. Very busy today.
No time to help you.Copy !req
257. Shh!Copy !req
258. There is a great evil
that has taken root in my worldCopy !req
259. and has begun
spreading its chaosCopy !req
260. throughout the many verses.Copy !req
261. I have spent years searchingCopy !req
262. for the one who might
be able to matchCopy !req
263. this great evil
with an even greater goodCopy !req
264. and bring back balance.Copy !req
265. All those years of searching
have brought me here...Copy !req
266. - Mrs Wang?
- ..to this universe.Copy !req
267. - Hello?
- To you.Copy !req
268. I know it's a lot
to take in right now...Copy !req
269. Mrs Wang?Copy !req
270. Hello?Copy !req
271. Look, I'm sure you have
a lot on your mind,Copy !req
272. but I cannot imagine
anything mattering moreCopy !req
273. than the conversation
we are now havingCopy !req
274. concerning your tax liability.Copy !req
275. Uh, need I remind you
that there isCopy !req
276. already a lien
on your property?Copy !req
277. Repossession is well
within our rights.Copy !req
278. I know. I am paying attention.Copy !req
279. Do you see these?Copy !req
280. You don't get one of theseCopy !req
281. unless you've seen
a lot of bullshit.Copy !req
282. Excuse my French.Copy !req
283. Now you may...Copy !req
284. .. only see a pile of
boring forms and numbers,Copy !req
285. but I see a story.Copy !req
286. With nothing
but a stack of receipts,Copy !req
287. I can trace the ups and downs
of your lives.Copy !req
288. And it does not look good.Copy !req
289. It does not look good.Copy !req
290. - But...
- Uh...Copy !req
291. Sorry, my wife confuses
her hobbies for businesses.Copy !req
292. An honest mistake.Copy !req
293. Oh! OK.Copy !req
294. Well, with all of these, um...Copy !req
295. .."honest mistakes,"Copy !req
296. I mean, even if we don't
charge you with fraud,Copy !req
297. we'll most certainly
have to fine youCopy !req
298. for gross negligence.Copy !req
299. You're always
trying to confuse usCopy !req
300. with these big words.Copy !req
301. I thought
you were going to bringCopy !req
302. your daughter
to help you translate.Copy !req
303. - I am going to bring my...
- Hey!Copy !req
304. - Sorry.
- Evelyn?Copy !req
305. She was going to come...Copy !req
306. Evelyn!
Are you paying attention?Copy !req
307. I cannot talk now.Copy !req
308. She's too busy
to help her parents?Copy !req
309. Unless you can help me
with my taxes.Copy !req
310. - What is "gross necklaces"?Copy !req
311. I know you have a lot
of things on your mind,Copy !req
312. but nothing could
possibly matter moreCopy !req
313. than this conversation
we are havingCopy !req
314. right now concerning the fateCopy !req
315. of every single world
of our infinite multiverse.Copy !req
316. Where's the respect
for elders?Copy !req
317. My dear Evelyn,Copy !req
318. I know you.Copy !req
319. With every passing moment,Copy !req
320. you fear you might have
missed your chanceCopy !req
321. to make something
of your life.Copy !req
322. I'm here to tell youCopy !req
323. every rejection,Copy !req
324. every disappointment
has led you hereCopy !req
325. to this moment.Copy !req
326. Don't let anything
distract you from it.Copy !req
327. Do you think this is funny?Copy !req
328. So what will it be?Copy !req
329. I'm thinking.Copy !req
330. Our time here is up.Copy !req
331. - They're going to kill us.
- What?Copy !req
332. You think you can give us more
time so we can redo all this?Copy !req
333. Do not worry,
this is just a burner universeCopy !req
334. we are using
for communication.Copy !req
335. Oh-oh-oh!Copy !req
336. You will know when
it is time to fight.Copy !req
337. You want to redo?
You're going to resubmit?Copy !req
338. - I will be in contact soon.
- Shh, shh, shh.Copy !req
339. I think my other husband
is messing up the audit.Copy !req
340. Maybe we can look at
all the receipts again and...Copy !req
341. Evelyn! Trust no-one. Oh!Copy !req
342. Oh, no, no. No, no, no. No...!Copy !req
343. Oh, dear lord.Copy !req
344. OK. Everything OK.Copy !req
345. I think I forget
something at home.Copy !req
346. Uh, sit down.Copy !req
347. I think I'm going
to regret this.Copy !req
348. You can go.Copy !req
349. What?Copy !req
350. You... you will have...Copy !req
351. You will have until
I leave the office tonightCopy !req
352. to bring everything in,
6:00 p.m.Copy !req
353. Last chance.Copy !req
354. - Oh, tomorrow is better...
- Thank you! Thank you!Copy !req
355. Thank you. 6:00 p.m.Copy !req
356. - Thank you so much.
- Thank you for the cookies.Copy !req
357. They look delicious.Copy !req
358. Last chance!Copy !req
359. Have a nice day.Copy !req
360. Last chance.Copy !req
361. Oh, no.Copy !req
362. Evelyn! Evelyn!Copy !req
363. So you know about this?Copy !req
364. It was you. Like,
you who was in the elevator.Copy !req
365. I was in the elevator.Copy !req
366. Come back next week.Copy !req
367. I'm not ready to fight.Copy !req
368. I am not ready to fight.Copy !req
369. Maybe we don't have a choice.Copy !req
370. What?Copy !req
371. Switch shoes to what?Copy !req
372. - Ow! Oh!
- Evelyn?Copy !req
373. Someone call security!Copy !req
374. What are you doing?Copy !req
375. You told me to do it!Copy !req
376. You said I would know
when it is the time to fight!Copy !req
377. She was coming after us.Copy !req
378. Oh!Copy !req
379. Oh, you have no idea, lady. Oh!Copy !req
380. Assaulting an IRS agent?Copy !req
381. You have no idea!Copy !req
382. "Dissolution of marriage"?Copy !req
383. Yes, I'm on the tenth floor.Copy !req
384. No...Copy !req
385. Your brother gets a divorce,Copy !req
386. now you think divorce is OK?Copy !req
387. I don't think it's OK!Copy !req
388. We made a sacred promise.Copy !req
389. I told you to stay low
and out of sight.Copy !req
390. Oh, now you're here?Copy !req
391. Huh! Stop confusing me,
coming and going.Copy !req
392. - Stop it, stop it, stop...
- Relax.Copy !req
393. - I'll get you out of this.Copy !req
394. Stop coming here.Copy !req
395. OK, folks.
Everyone remain calm.Copy !req
396. Oh, thank... thank God!Copy !req
397. It's that one right there.
The Chinese lady!Copy !req
398. No! It's all his fault!Copy !req
399. Right there,
she assaulted me!Copy !req
400. OK, I need you two
to get on the groundCopy !req
401. with your hands
behind your heads.Copy !req
402. OK, OK, OK.Copy !req
403. Sir, please comply.Copy !req
404. OK, whatever you're thinking
about doing, don't do it.Copy !req
405. Sir?Copy !req
406. It's OK.Copy !req
407. OK, sir. That's enough.Copy !req
408. - Oh!Copy !req
409. Holy shit.Copy !req
410. Hyah!Copy !req
411. Oh!Copy !req
412. Hey.Copy !req
413. Oh, no, Craig! Fuck.Copy !req
414. Arggh!Copy !req
415. On your feet.Copy !req
416. Who... What is happening?Copy !req
417. I'm not the Waymond
who wants to divorce you.Copy !req
418. I'm the Waymond
who is saving your life.Copy !req
419. Now, you can
either come with meCopy !req
420. and live up to
your ultimate potentialCopy !req
421. or lie here and live
with the consequences.Copy !req
422. I want to lie here.Copy !req
423. - Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
424. No, no! Put me down! No, no!Copy !req
425. Citizens of
the 4,655th Thetaverse,Copy !req
426. you are about to be gracedCopy !req
427. by the presence
of our sovereign leader,Copy !req
428. Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
429. Now let me assure you
of one thing.Copy !req
430. Just like the rest
of your miserable lives,Copy !req
431. this is nothing moreCopy !req
432. than a statistical
inevitability.Copy !req
433. Duck.Copy !req
434. - Duck.Copy !req
435. Duck...Copy !req
436. Jobu TupakiCopy !req
437. has seen all and knows all.Copy !req
438. She knows what makes you tick,Copy !req
439. on what fragile branches
your self-worth rests.Copy !req
440. - This one.Copy !req
441. Hang on.Copy !req
442. Don't die yet, alright, buddy?Copy !req
443. Ugh.Copy !req
444. It's not her.Copy !req
445. police are
looking for all information.Copy !req
446. This is a developing story.Copy !req
447. - What we do know...
- They might be close.Copy !req
448. We do have unconfirmed
photos of the suspects.Copy !req
449. An unidentified manCopy !req
450. went berserk
at the regional officeCopy !req
451. for the Internal Revenue Service
in Simi Valley this morning.Copy !req
452. Police aren't releasing
any information...Copy !req
453. - Is that where your parents are?
- This is a developing story.Copy !req
454. - But we do have unconfirmed...
- Are you OK?Copy !req
455. ..photos of the suspects.Copy !req
456. - If you recognise them...
- Hey!Copy !req
457. - Are you OK?
- ..help identify them.Copy !req
458. Joy?Copy !req
459. If you recognise these two,Copy !req
460. police are seeking help
identifying the assailants.Copy !req
461. My husband won't
even kill a spider.Copy !req
462. How can you be
the same person?Copy !req
463. You underestimate
how the smallest decisionsCopy !req
464. can compound into significant
differences over a lifetime.Copy !req
465. Every tiny decision createsCopy !req
466. another branching
universe, another...Copy !req
467. Were you not paying
attention before?Copy !req
468. Of course. You're just
very bad at explaining...Copy !req
469. Shh!Copy !req
470. Don't push me!Copy !req
471. Oh, my God!
We have to go back.Copy !req
472. We forgot my father!Copy !req
473. Don't worry. We're
monitoring him. He's safe.Copy !req
474. - I don't know. Are you sure?
- Yes.Copy !req
475. Hey, look, come on!Copy !req
476. Look, this is your universe,Copy !req
477. one bubble floating in
the cosmic foam of existence.Copy !req
478. Every surrounding bubble
has slight variations.Copy !req
479. But the further away
you get from your universe,Copy !req
480. the bigger the differences.Copy !req
481. This is where I am from,
The Alphaverse.Copy !req
482. The first universe to make
contact with the others.Copy !req
483. You can call me Alpha Waymond.Copy !req
484. In this world,Copy !req
485. you were a brilliant woman.Copy !req
486. In your search to proveCopy !req
487. the existence
of other universes,Copy !req
488. you discovered a way
to temporarily linkCopy !req
489. your consciousness to another
version of yourself,Copy !req
490. accessing all
of their memories,Copy !req
491. their skills,
even their emotions.Copy !req
492. Like you with the fanny pack?Copy !req
493. Exactly.
It's called Verse Jumping.Copy !req
494. "Verse Jumping."Copy !req
495. I need you to learn
how to do it right now.Copy !req
496. Right now?Copy !req
497. It may be our only chance
of getting out of here alive.Copy !req
498. Two guards coming this way.Copy !req
499. On my signal, try to blend in.Copy !req
500. Why don't you get
your Evelyn to do this?Copy !req
501. My Evelyn is dead.Copy !req
502. Go! Oh, my God!Copy !req
503. Oh, my God, what is going on?Copy !req
504. Help us! Help us!Copy !req
505. How did I die?Copy !req
506. I've seen you die
a thousand ways,Copy !req
507. in a thousand worlds.Copy !req
508. In every single one,
you were murdered.Copy !req
509. What? Why would anybody
want to kill me?Copy !req
510. She's an omniversal being
with unimaginable power,Copy !req
511. an agent of pure chaos,Copy !req
512. with no real motives
or desires.Copy !req
513. - Jobu Tupaki.
- You're just making up sounds.Copy !req
514. - Shh!Copy !req
515. We need another exit.Copy !req
516. So let her destroy
the other bubbles.Copy !req
517. You said there are
so many of them.Copy !req
518. Maybe it's OK
if we lose some,Copy !req
519. but just leave me out of it.Copy !req
520. It's not so simple.Copy !req
521. She's been building something.Copy !req
522. We thought it was
some sort of black hole.Copy !req
523. But it appears to consumeCopy !req
524. more than just
light and matter.Copy !req
525. We don't know exactly
what it is.Copy !req
526. We don't know what it's for.Copy !req
527. But we can allCopy !req
528. feel it.Copy !req
529. You've been feeling it too,
haven't you?Copy !req
530. Something is off.Copy !req
531. Your clothes never wear
as well the next day.Copy !req
532. Your hair never falls
in quite the same way.Copy !req
533. Even your coffee tastes...Copy !req
534. .. wrong.Copy !req
535. Our institutions
are crumbling.Copy !req
536. Nobody trusts
their neighbour anymore.Copy !req
537. And you stay up at night
wondering to yourself...Copy !req
538. How can we get back?Copy !req
539. This is
the Alphaverse's mission -Copy !req
540. to take us back
to how it's supposed to be.Copy !req
541. But that begins
with finding the oneCopy !req
542. who can stand up to Jobu's
perverse shroud of chaos.Copy !req
543. And you think it's me?Copy !req
544. Why else would
we risk everythingCopy !req
545. to get you out of here?Copy !req
546. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
547. Oh, Miss Deirdre!Copy !req
548. I'm sorry
I punched you, but...Copy !req
549. - Look.Copy !req
550. I think I finally
understand why...Copy !req
551. What is she doing?Copy !req
552. Verse Jumping. Run!Copy !req
553. - Come on.
- Oh!Copy !req
554. - Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
555. She jumped somewhere.
Brute force.Copy !req
556. The sumo wrestler?Copy !req
557. - Body builder?
- Doesn't matter.Copy !req
558. Counter with someone agile.Copy !req
559. On your perimeter, we've got
a break dancer, mime...Copy !req
560. - A gymnast.
- Give me gymnast!Copy !req
561. - Go!
- Calculating route.Copy !req
562. OK,
some paper cuts, four of them.Copy !req
563. One between each finger.Copy !req
564. Paper cuts only happen
when you aren't trying.Copy !req
565. It's impossible.Copy !req
566. Probability - 1 in 8,000.Copy !req
567. It's the strongest
jumping pad we have.Copy !req
568. - What are you doing?
- Come on, come on.Copy !req
569. There we go, one.Copy !req
570. - There's two.
- Ooh.Copy !req
571. - Ugh!
- Three.Copy !req
572. Alright, come on, come on,
come on. Stick with me.Copy !req
573. Come on.Copy !req
574. - Four! There it is.Copy !req
575. OK, come on, jump!Copy !req
576. Huh!Copy !req
577. Is that pro wrestling?Copy !req
578. She's going for a backbreaker!Copy !req
579. - She's gotta run.
- No.Copy !req
580. She can jump,
somewhere she can fight.Copy !req
581. She's not ready.Copy !req
582. A jump like that would fry
most people.Copy !req
583. She's not most people.Copy !req
584. Damn, what a weak body.Copy !req
585. - Hello?
- Evelyn!Copy !req
586. Can you hear me?Copy !req
587. You're going to have
to Verse Jump.Copy !req
588. Verse Jump?Copy !req
589. Hello?Copy !req
590. Concentrate on a universeCopy !req
591. in which you studied
martial arts.Copy !req
592. OK, I'm locking in.Copy !req
593. Calculations complete.Copy !req
594. "Profess your love."Copy !req
595. You're gonna have
to profess your love to Deirdre.Copy !req
596. - No way.
- It's your jumping pad.Copy !req
597. It's like eating the chapstick
or switching shoes.Copy !req
598. We developed an algorithm
that calculatesCopy !req
599. which statistically
improbable actionCopy !req
600. will place you in a universeCopy !req
601. on the edge
of your local cluster,Copy !req
602. which then sling shots you
to the desired universe.Copy !req
603. That doesn't make any sense!Copy !req
604. - Exactly.Copy !req
605. The less sense it makes,
the better.Copy !req
606. The Stochastic Path Algorithm
is fuelled by random actions.Copy !req
607. Tell her you love her
and mean it.Copy !req
608. Are there any
other jumping pads?Copy !req
609. The next best paths are break
your own arm or take a nap.Copy !req
610. You're not sleepy, are you?Copy !req
611. I love you.Copy !req
612. Jumping pad failure.Copy !req
613. Evelyn, wait! No!Copy !req
614. No.Copy !req
615. She's in
a local divergent universe.Copy !req
616. No, no, no.Copy !req
617. She's gone home...Copy !req
618. ..to finish the taxes.Copy !req
619. - Ah!Copy !req
620. This doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
621. Think about it.Copy !req
622. ..you always get pulled away.Copy !req
623. Waymond!Copy !req
624. Waymond!Copy !req
625. I'm sorry, Evelyn.Copy !req
626. - Huh?
- I need to go.Copy !req
627. What?Copy !req
628. I need
to find the right Evelyn.Copy !req
629. And this one,Copy !req
630. it's not the one.Copy !req
631. No! No.
Wait, let me try again!Copy !req
632. Alpha Waymond?Copy !req
633. Evelyn?Copy !req
634. - Oh.
- Huh?Copy !req
635. Ah!
What's happened to my hand?Copy !req
636. Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
637. Evelyn, your face.Copy !req
638. You just left me.Copy !req
639. You just left me!Copy !req
640. Waymond...Copy !req
641. Miss Deirdre?Copy !req
642. - I love you!
- What?Copy !req
643. - I love you!Copy !req
644. - No, no!Copy !req
645. I love you!Copy !req
646. I love you!Copy !req
647. I love...Copy !req
648. Evelyn!Copy !req
649. - Cut, cut, cut, cut!Copy !req
650. Oh, I'm so
happy to be here today.Copy !req
651. - Evelyn!
- Evelyn!Copy !req
652. Evelyn!Copy !req
653. Oh!Copy !req
654. Why did you... How?Copy !req
655. It was beautiful.Copy !req
656. Waymond.Copy !req
657. We better keep moving.Copy !req
658. Now you've definitely
got Jobu's attention. Come on.Copy !req
659. Stay calm.Copy !req
660. Your brain is under
an incredible amount of stress.Copy !req
661. No, let me finish
talking with my husband.Copy !req
662. He needs to know how good
my life could have been.Copy !req
663. - Evelyn! Evelyn!
- Evelyn!Copy !req
664. - Ow!
- Are you with me?Copy !req
665. I thought I was disconnected.Copy !req
666. Why was I still there?Copy !req
667. Your mind, it's like
a clay pot holding water.Copy !req
668. Every jump opens another crack,Copy !req
669. causing things
to leak through.Copy !req
670. With training, you will learn
to reseal these cracks.Copy !req
671. Eat. You need energy.Copy !req
672. Cream cheese.Copy !req
673. Mmm!Copy !req
674. In my universe,
the cattle were killed off.Copy !req
675. One of the many things
we've lostCopy !req
676. in our war against Jobu.Copy !req
677. Oh, my God.Copy !req
678. What if...Copy !req
679. .. what if I want to go back?Copy !req
680. What if I want to go back
to the other universe?Copy !req
681. Shut it down!
Shut it down, you hear me!Copy !req
682. - Come back!
- OK! OK! OK!Copy !req
683. I... I'm back!Copy !req
684. Listen, you're only usingCopy !req
685. the other worlds to acquire
special skills.Copy !req
686. Do you understand?Copy !req
687. If you fall
for their temptations,Copy !req
688. you invite contradiction, chaos.Copy !req
689. The clay pot could shatter
and you could die, or far worse.Copy !req
690. What can be worse than death?Copy !req
691. We should keep moving
until reinforcements come.Copy !req
692. No, no, no!Copy !req
693. Enough of your clay pots,
cream cheese, no cows.Copy !req
694. Explain it all to me now.Copy !req
695. You're right.Copy !req
696. In the Alphaverse,Copy !req
697. we began training many
young minds to Verse Jump.Copy !req
698. But there was one who was far
and above the most gifted.Copy !req
699. Our little explorer.Copy !req
700. You saw her potential...Copy !req
701. ..so you pushed herCopy !req
702. beyond her limit.Copy !req
703. Warning. Unstable.Copy !req
704. Though the
overloaded mind usually dies,Copy !req
705. instead her mind was fractured.Copy !req
706. Warning. Unstable.Copy !req
707. - Mind fracturing.Copy !req
708. Now her mind
experiences every world,Copy !req
709. every possibility,Copy !req
710. at the same exact time,Copy !req
711. commanding
the infinite knowledgeCopy !req
712. and power of the multiverse.Copy !req
713. Now she's seen too much,Copy !req
714. lost any sense of morality,Copy !req
715. any belief in objective truth.Copy !req
716. What does she want?Copy !req
717. No-one knows.Copy !req
718. All we knowCopy !req
719. is she's looking for you.Copy !req
720. Hey, you said
I was the wrong one.Copy !req
721. What you did back there,
it changed my mind.Copy !req
722. You were incredible.Copy !req
723. Waymond.Copy !req
724. Of course.Copy !req
725. Evelyn! Come back!Copy !req
726. Evelyn! Jump
to another combat universe!Copy !req
727. - Huh?
- Try peeing yourself!Copy !req
728. - Pee?
- It's always a good jumping pad!Copy !req
729. Come on, wake up! Wake up!Copy !req
730. What did you do to me?Copy !req
731. Did you staple something
to my forehead?Copy !req
732. No! I didn't do anything.
You did it yourself!Copy !req
733. - Did we call for backup?
- I did not do it to myself!Copy !req
734. - Did you call?
- It has blood on it!Copy !req
735. We've detained the assailants.
No backup was requested.Copy !req
736. You guys are wasting
a trip up. Copy?Copy !req
737. Oh, no!
She found us.Copy !req
738. I said, do you copy?Copy !req
739. Clear them.Copy !req
740. Joy?Copy !req
741. Why do you look so stupid?Copy !req
742. Ma'am.Copy !req
743. You and... your pig
can't be here.Copy !req
744. Is it that I can't be here...Copy !req
745. .. or that I'm not allowed...Copy !req
746. - Huh!
- ..to be here?Copy !req
747. Hey!Copy !req
748. OK...Copy !req
749. Hands where I can see them.Copy !req
750. See, I can physically be here.Copy !req
751. But what you meant to sayCopy !req
752. is you're not
allowing me to be here.Copy !req
753. Hands behind your back. Come on.Copy !req
754. Waymond!Copy !req
755. You're going
to make me walk through you?Copy !req
756. Yeah, cute.
I can't let you do that either.Copy !req
757. Yeah, again with the 'can't'!Copy !req
758. See, I don't think
you understandCopy !req
759. the meaning of that word.Copy !req
760. - See, I can walk through you.
- Officer down!Copy !req
761. - No, no! Don't shoot.
- Hands on your head.Copy !req
762. Like this?Copy !req
763. - Waymond. Wake up! Wake up!
- Daddy!Copy !req
764. - Oh, no!Copy !req
765. Oh, shit.Copy !req
766. - Ugh!
- Oh!Copy !req
767. - No!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
768. Don't worry, Evelyn.Copy !req
769. - No, no! Oh, God!
- It's...Copy !req
770. - Mmm! Organic.Copy !req
771. Arggh...!Copy !req
772. Oh, my God.Copy !req
773. You...Copy !req
774. You're Juju Toobootie.Copy !req
775. The "Great Evil" Waymond
was talking about is...Copy !req
776. ..in my Joy?Copy !req
777. Don't engage.Copy !req
778. She can't be reasoned with.Copy !req
779. Oh...Copy !req
780. It's you.Copy !req
781. You're the reason my daughterCopy !req
782. doesn't call anymore,Copy !req
783. why she dropped out of collegeCopy !req
784. and gets tattoos.Copy !req
785. Aww!Copy !req
786. You...Copy !req
787. .. are why she thinks she is gay.Copy !req
788. Ah!Copy !req
789. - I'm so sorry.Copy !req
790. You're still hung up
on the factCopy !req
791. that I like girls
in this world?Copy !req
792. - The universe...Copy !req
793. ..is so much bigger
than you realise.Copy !req
794. - Huh?Copy !req
795. - OK!Copy !req
796. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!Copy !req
797. Stop!Copy !req
798. - Huh!
- Don't make me fight you.Copy !req
799. I am really good.Copy !req
800. I don't believe you.Copy !req
801. OK, OK.Copy !req
802. Nice.Copy !req
803. You peed yourself.Copy !req
804. No, Evelyn,
you're not locked in!Copy !req
805. Oh!Copy !req
806. Hmm.Copy !req
807. Where did she jump?Copy !req
808. Um, she's off the damn map.Copy !req
809. She appears to be in a universeCopy !req
810. where everyone has...Copy !req
811. ..hot dogs instead of fingers.Copy !req
812. I mean, it just doesn't matterCopy !req
813. how many times I see it,
I'm so moved.Copy !req
814. - Oh, you stop it!Copy !req
815. An evolutionary branchCopy !req
816. in the anatomy
of the human race?Copy !req
817. A jump like thatCopy !req
818. would've fried most people.Copy !req
819. Like I said...Copy !req
820. .. she's not most people.Copy !req
821. Don't... Why are you
treating me like this?Copy !req
822. One minute, you're so warm,Copy !req
823. then one minute,
you're cold and awful.Copy !req
824. This is crazy!Copy !req
825. You're starting to get it.Copy !req
826. Where are you gonna go?Copy !req
827. Ugh!Copy !req
828. You know, of all
the Evelyns I've seen...Copy !req
829. ..you're definitely one of
the more interesting ones.Copy !req
830. What do you want from me?Copy !req
831. Here.Copy !req
832. Let me help you
open up your mind, huh?Copy !req
833. Hmm?Copy !req
834. - Oh!
- Here.Copy !req
835. - Open up.Copy !req
836. It's OK.Copy !req
837. It's OK.Copy !req
838. Take a peek.Copy !req
839. - Oh, shit.Copy !req
840. What is that?Copy !req
841. I got bored one dayCopy !req
842. and I put everything
on a bagel.Copy !req
843. Everything.Copy !req
844. All my hopes and dreams,
my old report cards,Copy !req
845. every breed of dog,Copy !req
846. every last personal ad
on craigslist.Copy !req
847. Sesame.Copy !req
848. Poppy seed.Copy !req
849. Salt.Copy !req
850. And it collapsed in on itself.Copy !req
851. 'Cause, you see,
when you really putCopy !req
852. everything on a bagel,Copy !req
853. it becomes this.Copy !req
854. Come on. Run, Evelyn.Copy !req
855. The truth.Copy !req
856. What is the truth?Copy !req
857. Nothing...Copy !req
858. .. matters.Copy !req
859. No, Joy.Copy !req
860. You don't believe that.Copy !req
861. Feels nice, doesn't it?Copy !req
862. If nothing matters...Copy !req
863. .. then all the pain
and guilt you feelCopy !req
864. for making nothing
of your life...Copy !req
865. ..it goes away.Copy !req
866. No!Copy !req
867. - Ah Ba?Copy !req
868. I'm not your father.Copy !req
869. At least not the one you know.Copy !req
870. I am Alpha Gong Gong.Copy !req
871. - Huh!
- Not you too!Copy !req
872. Sir, what are you doing here?Copy !req
873. We need to go.
Just follow me.Copy !req
874. Sir,
I have this under control.Copy !req
875. Again,
you deliberately disobey meCopy !req
876. and cause another mind
to be compromised.Copy !req
877. And now you know
what we must do.Copy !req
878. No! Please.Copy !req
879. She's unlike anything
we've seen.Copy !req
880. She could finally stop
Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
881. You mean the monster
that is inside my daughter?Copy !req
882. Well, why didn't you tell me
about it earlier?Copy !req
883. What else are you Alpha people
not telling me?Copy !req
884. Did you see her
dance that man to death?Copy !req
885. There is no way I am
the Evelyn you are looking for.Copy !req
886. No, I see it so clearly.Copy !req
887. See what?Copy !req
888. I'm no good at anything.Copy !req
889. Exactly.Copy !req
890. I've seen
thousands of Evelyns,Copy !req
891. but never an Evelyn like you.Copy !req
892. You have so many goals
you never finished,Copy !req
893. dreams you never followed.Copy !req
894. You're living your worst you.Copy !req
895. I cannot be the worst.
What about that hot dog one?Copy !req
896. No. Can't you see?Copy !req
897. Every failure here
branched off into a successCopy !req
898. for another Evelyn
in another life.Copy !req
899. Most people only
have a few significantCopy !req
900. alternate life paths
so close to them.Copy !req
901. But you, here,Copy !req
902. you're capable of anythingCopy !req
903. because you're so bad
at everything.Copy !req
904. What good is all that power
when her mindCopy !req
905. is already succumbing
to that chaos, huh?Copy !req
906. - Hello?Copy !req
907. Hello? Mom, Dad?
What's going on?Copy !req
908. No. Do not answer her.Copy !req
909. - It's one of her tricks.Copy !req
910. Sir, our readings indicate
it's not Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
911. But if she's not here...Copy !req
912. Oh, shit!Copy !req
913. Do not engage! Run! Run!Copy !req
914. Watch these two here
while I deal with Jobu.Copy !req
915. I'm not risking the safety
of the Alphaverse for this.Copy !req
916. Get us as far away
from Joy as you can.Copy !req
917. - Why?
- I'll be back. I promise.Copy !req
918. No, no, no, wait.
Why don't you...Copy !req
919. - Huh?Copy !req
920. - Hello?
- Joy?Copy !req
921. - No, no... That's not...
- Joy's here!Copy !req
922. - No, no, no, that's not Joy.
- Hello?Copy !req
923. - Joy? Joy, I'm coming.
- Let me in.Copy !req
924. OK, be patient!
This is heavy.Copy !req
925. - Joy, why are you here?
- I have no fucking clue!Copy !req
926. - Hey, gentle language!
- Just what is going on?Copy !req
927. I'm sure there's a very good
explanation for all of this...Copy !req
928. - What the fuck, Mom?Copy !req
929. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
930. But... she's too powerful.Copy !req
931. - Are we all having a stroke?Copy !req
932. You are like puppets.
You know? Puppets?Copy !req
933. You can do things
you normally cannot do.Copy !req
934. It's like that movie.Copy !req
935. Um, you... you... That movie...Copy !req
936. OK, what are you
talking about?Copy !req
937. - A movie?
- 'Raccaccoonie'!Copy !req
938. - What?
- Huh?Copy !req
939. 'Raccaccoonie', you know?Copy !req
940. The one with the chef...Copy !req
941. And he makes bad food. Phooey.Copy !req
942. And then this raccoon
sit on his head,Copy !req
943. ooh, control him,
and then he cooks good food.Copy !req
944. Do you mean 'Ratatouille'?Copy !req
945. 'Ratatouille'?
I like that movie.Copy !req
946. No. No, no, no, no, no.
'Raccaccoonie'!Copy !req
947. With the raccoon.Copy !req
948. - OK...
- Raccoon?Copy !req
949. Everybody,
stop making up sounds!Copy !req
950. So there's a raccoon Joy,
and there's a raccoon me?Copy !req
951. - And they are controlling us?Copy !req
952. Yeah, from the other universes.Copy !req
953. - Oh. OK.
- That's very funny, Evelyn.Copy !req
954. OK, it sounds a little bit
ridiculous, but it's true.Copy !req
955. I swear to God, you...Copy !req
956. - You are macho man.Copy !req
957. - I like that!
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
958. Hey, honey,
don't worry.Copy !req
959. - Daddy will get you out of this.
- Ah Ba?Copy !req
960. Quickly,
while she is distracted.Copy !req
961. - No.
- It's only protocol.Copy !req
962. It gives her one
less universe to access.Copy !req
963. - God...Copy !req
964. - Can you...
- Oh, it's Becky.Copy !req
965. Hi, Becky. Hold on.Copy !req
966. How do you expect to defeat
her in every universeCopy !req
967. if you can't even
kill her in one?Copy !req
968. Hey, babe.Copy !req
969. She's your granddaughter.Copy !req
970. - How do you think I feel?Copy !req
971. But this is a sacrificeCopy !req
972. that is necessary
to win the war.Copy !req
973. - OK, there we go.Copy !req
974. You must do it.Copy !req
975. Go.Copy !req
976. Go.Copy !req
977. Yeah, my mom
taped me to a chair.Copy !req
978. - Uh, because of raccoons.Copy !req
979. - OK, be patient.
- Yeah, it's a long story.Copy !req
980. - Daddy's trying to...
- It's been a day.Copy !req
981. Mom?Copy !req
982. I don't
like this at all.Copy !req
983. What are you...Copy !req
984. .. what are you doing?Copy !req
985. Hey! I almost had it.Copy !req
986. - Oh, come on!Copy !req
987. You are already
under her spell.Copy !req
988. Holy shit!
Holy shit, he has a gun!Copy !req
989. Everyone, stay calm!Copy !req
990. I think it's time
for a family discussion!Copy !req
991. It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.Copy !req
992. I won't let you kill her.Copy !req
993. Don't you see what
is happening to your mind?Copy !req
994. In my universe,Copy !req
995. you pushed your own daughter
too hard until you broke her.Copy !req
996. You...Copy !req
997. ..you created Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
998. When did he get
so good at English?Copy !req
999. Now I must stop you.Copy !req
1000. Otherwise, it's only
a matter of timeCopy !req
1001. before you become just like her.Copy !req
1002. Just like her?Copy !req
1003. - Huh?
- What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
1004. Evelyn, I don't think now
is a good time to dance!Copy !req
1005. Baba,Copy !req
1006. I know you don't agree with me,Copy !req
1007. but this is something
I have to do.Copy !req
1008. - What the...
- That sounds weird.Copy !req
1009. No, no, no...Copy !req
1010. - OK.
- Wait!Copy !req
1011. You don't know
where you'll jump.Copy !req
1012. - Enough!Copy !req
1013. Warning. Unstable.Copy !req
1014. Please.Copy !req
1015. I cannot lose another
loved one to the darkness.Copy !req
1016. - Warning. Unstable.
- Don't worry. You won't.Copy !req
1017. Hey, uh, clean up
in there, alright?Copy !req
1018. Here. Oh!Copy !req
1019. Where did she jump?Copy !req
1020. Sorry, Ah Ba.Copy !req
1021. - Whoa!
- OK!Copy !req
1022. - Come on, come on, come on!
- Jesus, Mom!Copy !req
1023. - That way!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
1024. - Oh, my God!
- Come on, come on!Copy !req
1025. - Oh!
- No!Copy !req
1026. Warning, mind fracturing.Copy !req
1027. Send every Jumper with
a counterpart in the area.Copy !req
1028. - Now!Copy !req
1029. Once again,
the Alphaverse finds itselfCopy !req
1030. as the last line of defence
against total chaos.Copy !req
1031. Be brave. This Evelyn
is as stubborn as the others.Copy !req
1032. She has given us no choice.Copy !req
1033. We must kill her before she
becomes another Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
1034. - Joy.
- Oh, what?Copy !req
1035. Joy... Joy...Copy !req
1036. I know you have these feelings,Copy !req
1037. feelings that make you so sad.Copy !req
1038. That makes you just...
just want to give up.Copy !req
1039. It's not your fault.Copy !req
1040. Not your fault.Copy !req
1041. I know.Copy !req
1042. It's... it's her.Copy !req
1043. Juju Chewbacca.Copy !req
1044. She has your soul...Copy !req
1045. ..in the palm of her hand.Copy !req
1046. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1047. The only way I can
defeat her to save you...Copy !req
1048. ..is to become like her.Copy !req
1049. Evelyn!Copy !req
1050. Your daughter
is beyond saving.Copy !req
1051. And soon you will be too.Copy !req
1052. Your time is up.Copy !req
1053. Find your jumping pads.Copy !req
1054. Mom? Mom?Copy !req
1055. I think
you're pushing things too far.Copy !req
1056. Or not far enough.Copy !req
1057. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
1058. Evelyn?Copy !req
1059. - Ugh!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1060. - Oh!Copy !req
1061. - What are you doing?Copy !req
1062. Mom!Copy !req
1063. Arggh!Copy !req
1064. Ohh!Copy !req
1065. - Holy... shit.Copy !req
1066. Is he dead?Copy !req
1067. See, not dead. Go!Copy !req
1068. - That's definitely not...
- Hurry up, please. Go quick!Copy !req
1069. OK, come on, guys.Copy !req
1070. Dad, go!Copy !req
1071. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1072. Does my baby
want to go for a walk?Copy !req
1073. Yow!Copy !req
1074. - No!Copy !req
1075. Oh, Johnny! Oh!Copy !req
1076. Orange soda?Copy !req
1077. - Huh?
- What is she doing?Copy !req
1078. I think when
she does something weirdCopy !req
1079. it helps her fight,
it gives her power.Copy !req
1080. Sorry, baby.Copy !req
1081. - Ask her for another one.Copy !req
1082. - No! Johnny!Copy !req
1083. Fried egg?Copy !req
1084. You... bitch.Copy !req
1085. Go!Copy !req
1086. Huh?Copy !req
1087. - Oh...Copy !req
1088. Evelyn, if you don't step up,Copy !req
1089. I'm giving some
of your shifts to Chad.Copy !req
1090. Yeah!Copy !req
1091. - Oh, my God!
- Oh, good one!Copy !req
1092. I got a picture!Copy !req
1093. Go.Copy !req
1094. - Stop...Copy !req
1095. - Huh? What happened?
- You stop!Copy !req
1096. I think they lost their...Copy !req
1097. - Stop it!
- .. powers?Copy !req
1098. Sir?Copy !req
1099. I am gonna need
another jumping pad.Copy !req
1100. Received information. Over.Copy !req
1101. I think she needs to do
something weird again.Copy !req
1102. What's he doing?Copy !req
1103. Oh, my God. He's trying
to stick it in his butt.Copy !req
1104. - No!Copy !req
1105. - No, no, no!
- Ah... No!Copy !req
1106. Ah, Evelyn, do jumping jacks!Copy !req
1107. That's not weird at all.Copy !req
1108. Um... Slap him!Copy !req
1109. No, no, no, no!Copy !req
1110. Mom, just blow on his nose!Copy !req
1111. What?Copy !req
1112. It'll make him involuntarilyCopy !req
1113. scream and do weird noises.Copy !req
1114. Trust her, Evelyn!
It's really weird.Copy !req
1115. - Wow, Mom is really good.Copy !req
1116. - Huh!Copy !req
1117. Sorry.Copy !req
1118. Oh!Copy !req
1119. Arggh!Copy !req
1120. Ahh!Copy !req
1121. Reaching mental capacity.Copy !req
1122. Reaching mental capacity.Copy !req
1123. Holy shit!Copy !req
1124. - Ow!
- I'm sorry, Evelyn.Copy !req
1125. - Mind fracturing.
- We'll die together.Copy !req
1126. Pinky... Arggh!Copy !req
1127. - Get her. I see her.
- Let's go!Copy !req
1128. Evelyn!Copy !req
1129. Evelyn. Evelyn!Copy !req
1130. - Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
1131. No need to explain.Copy !req
1132. I have been watching you.Copy !req
1133. You're back!Copy !req
1134. Did you see how good I am?Copy !req
1135. I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
1136. I am going to defeat
that Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
1137. Hey. You got her name right.Copy !req
1138. Evelyn, what you're doing
is crazy, reckless.Copy !req
1139. Your stupid plan to somehow
save your daughterCopy !req
1140. has managed to piss off
everyone in the multiverse.Copy !req
1141. But it just might work.Copy !req
1142. What? What?Copy !req
1143. I only wish
I could be thereCopy !req
1144. to see you finish this.Copy !req
1145. What do you mean,
you don't see me finish?Copy !req
1146. I'm gratefulCopy !req
1147. that chance was kind enoughCopy !req
1148. to let us have these
last few moments together.Copy !req
1149. Alpha Waymond?Copy !req
1150. Alpha Waymond?Copy !req
1151. What happened?Copy !req
1152. Was I Raccoon Waymond again?Copy !req
1153. Raccoon Waymond is dead.Copy !req
1154. Is that Raccoon Joy?Copy !req
1155. Am I getting it?Copy !req
1156. I can to stop you,
Jobu...Copy !req
1157. ..now that I am reaching
my full potential.Copy !req
1158. Oh, you still can't see
what's happening.Copy !req
1159. No, I see clearly.Copy !req
1160. More clearly than ever before.Copy !req
1161. Oh, my God! Evelyn.Copy !req
1162. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1163. - Damn it. So close.Copy !req
1164. - Evelyn? Evelyn?Copy !req
1165. Please help her.Copy !req
1166. I'll see you again soon.Copy !req
1167. Don't leave! Help her, please!Copy !req
1168. Help! Help!Copy !req
1169. Where is she?Copy !req
1170. Where's our daughter?Copy !req
1171. Daughter?Copy !req
1172. I don't know
what I'd do without you.Copy !req
1173. Raccaccoonie?Copy !req
1174. Yeah, we make
a pretty good team.Copy !req
1175. - Oh, no!
- Uh...Copy !req
1176. You... you can't tell anyone.Copy !req
1177. She's seen too much.
You know what that means.Copy !req
1178. - Get her! Get her!
- No, no, I'm begging you.Copy !req
1179. - No, no!
- Get her! Get her!Copy !req
1180. - No, I... No. No!
- Please.Copy !req
1181. - Get her!
- Just go! Just go!Copy !req
1182. What do you want?Copy !req
1183. I want you.Copy !req
1184. No!Copy !req
1185. Stop that!Copy !req
1186. - Oh!Copy !req
1187. - Oh!
- Stay back!Copy !req
1188. This is wrong!Copy !req
1189. - This is wrong!
- What? It's not wrong!Copy !req
1190. I... I'm late.Copy !req
1191. I can think of whatever nonsense
I want and somewhere...Copy !req
1192. I did it.Copy !req
1193. Huh?Copy !req
1194. Don't forget these cookies.Copy !req
1195. Miss Deirdre really likes them.Copy !req
1196. Come on.Copy !req
1197. Hi, Mrs Wang.Copy !req
1198. Hey, Mom.
So, about this morning...Copy !req
1199. - Enough with your tricks.
- What?Copy !req
1200. - I know you're in there.
- Whoa.Copy !req
1201. - Get out of my daughter.
- OK!Copy !req
1202. Mom, are you already drunk?Copy !req
1203. - Hey, Becky.
- Mmm-hmm?Copy !req
1204. Can you go help my dad
with the party?Copy !req
1205. Now?Copy !req
1206. - Yeah.
- Go, Becky.Copy !req
1207. Go. Go.Copy !req
1208. Thanks, babe.Copy !req
1209. You see it all, don't you?Copy !req
1210. You can seeCopy !req
1211. how everything...Copy !req
1212. ..is just a random rearrangementCopy !req
1213. of particles
in a vibrating superposition.Copy !req
1214. I have no idea
what you are talking about.Copy !req
1215. But I can do this.Copy !req
1216. Huh?Copy !req
1217. But you see...Copy !req
1218. ..how everything we do...Copy !req
1219. Huh?Copy !req
1220. .. gets washed away in a seaCopy !req
1221. of every other possibility?Copy !req
1222. You're everywhere.Copy !req
1223. You're like me.Copy !req
1224. That's right.Copy !req
1225. I'm the one you're looking for.Copy !req
1226. I'm the one
who's going to defeat you.Copy !req
1227. OK.Copy !req
1228. Hit me.Copy !req
1229. Punch my face.Copy !req
1230. Oh...Copy !req
1231. Oh! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
1232. - Oh, stop!
- Wow.Copy !req
1233. Hi, Dad.Copy !req
1234. We're... we're just practising
karaoke for tonight.Copy !req
1235. I will take care of it!Copy !req
1236. - She'll take care of it, Dad.
- Go.Copy !req
1237. - Honey, you OK?
- It's OK.Copy !req
1238. - Go!
- Yeah, I just fell on the couch.Copy !req
1239. Go!Copy !req
1240. OK.Copy !req
1241. Oh.Copy !req
1242. - Ow...
- He's so sweet.Copy !req
1243. OK.Copy !req
1244. Hey, hey, buddy!Copy !req
1245. If you don't want
to fight me, then...Copy !req
1246. - Why?
- Why what?Copy !req
1247. What... what's all this for?Copy !req
1248. Why was I looking for you?Copy !req
1249. Yeah.Copy !req
1250. Sit down.Copy !req
1251. Sit down, grab a snack,Copy !req
1252. make yourself
comfortable, huh?Copy !req
1253. - Oh, hey, you OK?
- OK.Copy !req
1254. - Mmm. We can speed this up.Copy !req
1255. Sit on the crack.Copy !req
1256. Sit on the crack
of the couch, OK?Copy !req
1257. Get comfortable.Copy !req
1258. Bagel.Copy !req
1259. Please, I don't care
about the bagel.Copy !req
1260. I don't care
about the Alphaverse.Copy !req
1261. I only care about my Joy.Copy !req
1262. Give me back my daughterCopy !req
1263. and I'll leave you
alone forever.Copy !req
1264. Sorry! No can do.Copy !req
1265. Why not?Copy !req
1266. I am your daughter.
Your daughter is me.Copy !req
1267. Every version of Joy
is Jobu Tupaki.Copy !req
1268. - You can't separate us.
- No.Copy !req
1269. I have felt everything
your daughter has felt.Copy !req
1270. And I know the joy...Copy !req
1271. .. and the pain of having you
as my mother.Copy !req
1272. Then you know
I would do...Copy !req
1273. Only do the right thing
for her, for you.Copy !req
1274. 'Right' is a tiny box invented
by people who are afraidCopy !req
1275. and I know what it feels like
to be trapped inside that box.Copy !req
1276. Mom...Copy !req
1277. No,
it's not like that.Copy !req
1278. It's Gong Gong.Copy !req
1279. He's a different generation.Copy !req
1280. You don't have to hide
behind him anymore.Copy !req
1281. You should feel relieved.Copy !req
1282. The bagel will show you
the true nature of things.Copy !req
1283. You'll be free from that box,
just like me.Copy !req
1284. No, no,
I'm not like you.Copy !req
1285. You're young and your mind
is always changing.Copy !req
1286. I still know who I am.Copy !req
1287. You have no idea
what you've done.Copy !req
1288. You're stuck like this forever.Copy !req
1289. No, I'm going back with my Joy,Copy !req
1290. to my family,
to live my life.Copy !req
1291. A happy life.Copy !req
1292. OK.Copy !req
1293. Good luck with that.Copy !req
1294. Thank you so much for coming.Copy !req
1295. Thank you.
Thank your father.Copy !req
1296. All this time...Copy !req
1297. ..I wasn't looking for you
so I could kill you.Copy !req
1298. I was just looking for someone
who could see what I see.Copy !req
1299. Feel what I feel.Copy !req
1300. And that someone...Copy !req
1301. ..is you.Copy !req
1302. Evelyn!Copy !req
1303. - You're alive!
- Impossible.Copy !req
1304. - Hello?
- Mrs Wang?Copy !req
1305. Where... where are you?Copy !req
1306. I mean, to not even show up
for your appointment?Copy !req
1307. Shut up.Copy !req
1308. What did you just say?Copy !req
1309. I said shut up.Copy !req
1310. You don't matter.Copy !req
1311. Whatever I did, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1312. Nothing matters.Copy !req
1313. Mrs Wang!Copy !req
1314. You are gonna
be in serious trouble!Copy !req
1315. Do you understand?Copy !req
1316. - For you to disrespect...Copy !req
1317. Happy New Year!Copy !req
1318. Another year, hmm?Copy !req
1319. Pretending we know
what we're doing,Copy !req
1320. but, really, we're just going
around in circles.Copy !req
1321. Doing laundry and taxes,Copy !req
1322. and laundry and taxes.Copy !req
1323. - No more running.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
1324. Where are the owners? Oh.Copy !req
1325. There you are.
Mr and Mrs Wang.Copy !req
1326. You have left me no option
but to authorise the seizureCopy !req
1327. of your personal
and your business assets.Copy !req
1328. - You have to vacate...
- Wait, Evelyn!Copy !req
1329. It's just so good,
you know?Copy !req
1330. - What are you doing? No! No!Copy !req
1331. My God, Chad, I told
you she couldn't be trusted!Copy !req
1332. Evelyn, please! Calm down.Copy !req
1333. .. within 48 hours or...Copy !req
1334. Everything...Copy !req
1335. Ugh!Copy !req
1336. What are you doing?Copy !req
1337. Not a single moment
will go byCopy !req
1338. without every other universeCopy !req
1339. screaming for your attention.Copy !req
1340. Never fully there.Copy !req
1341. Just a lifetime of...Copy !req
1342. No, no!Copy !req
1343. .. fractured moments.Copy !req
1344. Raccaccoonie!Copy !req
1345. .. contradictions
and confusion...Copy !req
1346. - Get off me!
- Chad, don't forget about me.Copy !req
1347. Here are the papers.Copy !req
1348. - Oh! Oh, officer?
- OK, OK.Copy !req
1349. .. with only a few specks of timeCopy !req
1350. where anything
actually makes any sense.Copy !req
1351. I've always hated this place.Copy !req
1352. - Raccaccoonie!Copy !req
1353. Chad!Copy !req
1354. Get off me! Get off!Copy !req
1355. Evelyn, why?Copy !req
1356. Do you know why
I actually built the bagel?Copy !req
1357. It wasn't
to destroy everything.Copy !req
1358. It was to destroy myself.Copy !req
1359. I wanted to see if I went in,
could I finally escape?Copy !req
1360. Like, actually die.Copy !req
1361. At least this way...Copy !req
1362. ..I don't have to do it alone.Copy !req
1363. You're not listening.Copy !req
1364. This is out of my league...Copy !req
1365. Judge Brenner signed...Copy !req
1366. Well, excuse me!
Excuse me, Mr Wang.Copy !req
1367. Every person I know
is going through a hard time.Copy !req
1368. - It's a hard time...
- Evelyn!Copy !req
1369. Come back.Copy !req
1370. My silly husband.Copy !req
1371. Probably making things worse.Copy !req
1372. Ignore it.Copy !req
1373. OK, you can let her go.Copy !req
1374. You, let her go. It's OK. Yes!Copy !req
1375. Thank you.Copy !req
1376. How? That's impossible.Copy !req
1377. It's just
a statistical inevitability.Copy !req
1378. It's nothing special.Copy !req
1379. I don't know.Copy !req
1380. I just talked to her.Copy !req
1381. Please!Copy !req
1382. Please!Copy !req
1383. Can we...
can we just stop fighting?Copy !req
1384. I know you are all fightingCopy !req
1385. because you're scared
and confused.Copy !req
1386. I'm confused too.Copy !req
1387. All day...Copy !req
1388. ..I don't know
what the heck is going on.Copy !req
1389. But somehow...Copy !req
1390. .. this feels like
it's all my fault.Copy !req
1391. I don't know.Copy !req
1392. The only thing I do know...Copy !req
1393. ..is that we have to be kind.Copy !req
1394. Please.Copy !req
1395. Be kind...Copy !req
1396. .. especially when
we don't know what's going on.Copy !req
1397. Hey, Evelyn!Copy !req
1398. Bagel.Copy !req
1399. Evelyn...Copy !req
1400. You can still turn around
and avoid all this.Copy !req
1401. Please...Copy !req
1402. ..be kind.Copy !req
1403. It's too late, Waymond.Copy !req
1404. Don't say that.Copy !req
1405. Did you see that?Copy !req
1406. Ooh! Ooh-ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
1407. - Huh! Found it!
- Check this!Copy !req
1408. - What song is this?Copy !req
1409. Thanks.
Thank you for coming.Copy !req
1410. That's very funny.Copy !req
1411. - Yeah, that's it?
- Yeah!Copy !req
1412. I'm sorry too.Copy !req
1413. Oh!Copy !req
1414. So cute!Copy !req
1415. Come on, Evelyn.Copy !req
1416. Come on.Copy !req
1417. Oh.Copy !req
1418. I get it.Copy !req
1419. Feeling a good thing.Copy !req
1420. You got your hopes up.Copy !req
1421. So I'm here
to save you some time.Copy !req
1422. Eventually...Copy !req
1423. .. that all just goes away.Copy !req
1424. .. just goes away.Copy !req
1425. Come on.Copy !req
1426. I don't care
if you come with me.Copy !req
1427. Enjoy your life.Copy !req
1428. Ugh!Copy !req
1429. Evelyn! Evelyn, please!Copy !req
1430. No more!Copy !req
1431. I don't want to hurt you.Copy !req
1432. Joy, come back with me.Copy !req
1433. Joy! Joy!Copy !req
1434. What did my silly husband
say to you?Copy !req
1435. He told me
about your situation.Copy !req
1436. I remembered when my husband
served me papers.Copy !req
1437. I drove his Kia Forte
through my neighbour's kitchen.Copy !req
1438. Huh!Copy !req
1439. But you know what I say?Copy !req
1440. It's called,
"Unlovable bitches like us...Copy !req
1441. ".. make the world go 'round."Copy !req
1442. Don't stop playing.Copy !req
1443. Play something for me.Copy !req
1444. That's not true.Copy !req
1445. - You're not unlovable.
- You're not unlovable!Copy !req
1446. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1447. There is always
something to love.Copy !req
1448. Even in a stupid,
stupid universeCopy !req
1449. where we have
hot dogs for fingers,Copy !req
1450. we'd get very good
with our feet.Copy !req
1451. - Oh!Copy !req
1452. - See?
- OK.Copy !req
1453. I feel nothing.Copy !req
1454. I... I feel...Copy !req
1455. I feel...Copy !req
1456. Don't let her stop Jobu!Copy !req
1457. Open fire!Copy !req
1458. So stupid!Copy !req
1459. Evelyn?Copy !req
1460. What are you doing?Copy !req
1461. I'm learning to fight like you.Copy !req
1462. You know, Evelyn, my wifeCopy !req
1463. used to wear
that exact same perfume,Copy !req
1464. God rest her soul.Copy !req
1465. These are
direct indicationsCopy !req
1466. that there's some impingement
of the nervous system.Copy !req
1467. With a little bit of help,Copy !req
1468. we could be seeing things
nice and straight.Copy !req
1469. You might feel
a little sore,Copy !req
1470. but everything
is looking pretty good.Copy !req
1471. Thank you.Copy !req
1472. Clean up in there, alright?Copy !req
1473. Hah!Copy !req
1474. You took everything
away from me.Copy !req
1475. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1476. Raccaccoonie
taught me so much!Copy !req
1477. I... I didn't even knowCopy !req
1478. how to boil an eggCopy !req
1479. and he taught me
how to spin it on a spatula.Copy !req
1480. I'm useless alone.Copy !req
1481. We're all useless alone.Copy !req
1482. It's a good thing
you're not alone.Copy !req
1483. Oh!Copy !req
1484. Let's go rescue
your silly raccoon.Copy !req
1485. Oh, we're gonna do it!Copy !req
1486. Arggh!Copy !req
1487. - Oh-ho-ho!Copy !req
1488. Get out of the way!Copy !req
1489. Waymond!Copy !req
1490. See?Copy !req
1491. It's only a matter of timeCopy !req
1492. before everything
balances itself out.Copy !req
1493. - Come on, come on, come on!
- I can't.Copy !req
1494. I'm sorry, Raccaccoonie!
I'm sorry!Copy !req
1495. Evelyn, let her go.Copy !req
1496. But she turned out
to be stubborn,Copy !req
1497. aimless, a mess.Copy !req
1498. Just like her mother.Copy !req
1499. But now I see.Copy !req
1500. It's OK that she's a mess.Copy !req
1501. Because just like me...Copy !req
1502. Huh.Copy !req
1503. Well, maybe you win
in this universe,Copy !req
1504. but in another time...Copy !req
1505. ..I beat you!Copy !req
1506. Ohh!Copy !req
1507. Or we tie!Copy !req
1508. Or we just...Copy !req
1509. .. hang around.Copy !req
1510. OK, Joy, listen.Copy !req
1511. Because it's all
just a pointlessCopy !req
1512. swirling bucket
of bullshit.Copy !req
1513. Huh!Copy !req
1514. That bagel is where
we finally find peace, Evelyn.Copy !req
1515. Stop calling me Evelyn!Copy !req
1516. ICopy !req
1517. amCopy !req
1518. yourCopy !req
1519. mother!Copy !req
1520. Ah Ba?Copy !req
1521. Seriously?Copy !req
1522. Can you please just...Copy !req
1523. .. stop?Copy !req
1524. Mom.Copy !req
1525. Just... just stop.Copy !req
1526. Good for you.
You're figuring your shit out.Copy !req
1527. And that's great. I'm really,
really happy for you.Copy !req
1528. But I'm...Copy !req
1529. ..I'm tired.Copy !req
1530. I don't want to hurt anymore.Copy !req
1531. And for some reason
when I'm with you, it just...Copy !req
1532. ..it just hurts the both of us.Copy !req
1533. So let's just go
our separate ways, OK?Copy !req
1534. Just let me go.Copy !req
1535. OK.Copy !req
1536. Wait.Copy !req
1537. You are getting fat.Copy !req
1538. And you never call meCopy !req
1539. even though we have
a family plan.Copy !req
1540. - What?
- And it's free.Copy !req
1541. You only visit
when you need something.Copy !req
1542. And you got a tattoo
and I don't careCopy !req
1543. if it's supposed
to represent our family.Copy !req
1544. You know I hate tattoos.Copy !req
1545. And of all the places
I could be,Copy !req
1546. why would I want
to be here with you?Copy !req
1547. Yes, you're right.Copy !req
1548. It doesn't make sense.Copy !req
1549. Evelyn!Copy !req
1550. Let her finish.Copy !req
1551. Maybe it's like you said.Copy !req
1552. Maybe there is
something out there,Copy !req
1553. some new discoveryCopy !req
1554. that will make us feelCopy !req
1555. like even smaller
pieces of shit.Copy !req
1556. Something that explains whyCopy !req
1557. you still went looking for meCopy !req
1558. through all of this noise.Copy !req
1559. And why,Copy !req
1560. no matter what,Copy !req
1561. I still want
to be here with you.Copy !req
1562. I will always...Copy !req
1563. .. always...Copy !req
1564. .. want to be here with you.Copy !req
1565. So what? You...Copy !req
1566. You're just gonna
ignore everything else?Copy !req
1567. You could be anything, anywhere.Copy !req
1568. Why not go somewhere
where your...Copy !req
1569. .. where your daughter
is more than just...Copy !req
1570. .. this?Copy !req
1571. Here, all we getCopy !req
1572. are a few specks of timeCopy !req
1573. where any of this
actually makes any sense.Copy !req
1574. Then I will cherishCopy !req
1575. these few specks of time.Copy !req
1576. You push the button.Copy !req
1577. Yeah, there you go.Copy !req
1578. I feel like I'm 14.Copy !req
1579. - Yeah.Copy !req
1580. You're a crazy woman!Copy !req
1581. Takes one to know one.Copy !req
1582. I'm sorry, Raccaccoonie!
I'm sorry!Copy !req
1583. - What are you doing?
- Grab my hair.Copy !req
1584. What did he say?Copy !req
1585. This is so awkward.Copy !req
1586. This is awkward, right?Copy !req
1587. Do you still want
to do your party?Copy !req
1588. We can do whatever we want.Copy !req
1589. Nothing matters.Copy !req
1590. OK, we're definitely
late now, guys.Copy !req
1591. Do you have
to bring all these?Copy !req
1592. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1593. That needs to go
in the bag too.Copy !req
1594. Taxes suck.Copy !req
1595. Thank you for the ride, Becky!Copy !req
1596. Hey, it's good.Copy !req
1597. Mmm-hmm. You got this, OK?Copy !req
1598. - Becky?
- I'll call you after.Copy !req
1599. You need to grow your hair.Copy !req
1600. - Wow.Copy !req
1601. I'll call you later!Copy !req
1602. Hurry, hurry!Copy !req
1603. I gotta pee. Hold on.Copy !req
1604. OK. Hurry.Copy !req
1605. OK. Yes.Copy !req
1606. I am happy to say I do thinkCopy !req
1607. things are better.Copy !req
1608. This is... this is
an improvement.Copy !req
1609. And I'm glad
that you listened.Copy !req
1610. But we have a problemCopy !req
1611. because you listened,
but you didn't listenCopy !req
1612. and that has to do
with the Schedule C.Copy !req
1613. - You see, you did...Copy !req
1614. Evelyn!
Did you hear me?Copy !req
1615. Sorry. What did you say?Copy !req