1. Hail
to the Muskrats!
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2. The mighty, mighty Muskrats.
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3. How ya doing?
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4. Hail
to the Muskrats.
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5. The mighty, mighty,
daunting muskrats,
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6. Someday the Muskrats prevail.
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7. Here the might warrior goes,
to the C, to the Chickasaw—
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8. Come on, ladies, put
a little effort into it.
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9. Chickadee
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10. (SHAKILY) Whoa!
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11. OK, girls, hit the showers.
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12. Yeah!
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13. Hail
to the Muskrats.
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14. Hail to the Muskrats.
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15. Hail to the Muskrats they do
what all they do the Muskrats.
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16. Cheer for the Muskrats,
we're for the Muskrats.
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17. Hail to the Muskrats!
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18. Wah!
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19. Ow!
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20. Ooch ow!
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21. Ow, ow!
Ow!
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22. Ow ow.
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23. Ooh, Oh ow.
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24. Can anyone
I need help.
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25. Way to hustle
out there Cardell.
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26. Good hit, Raymond.
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27. Fane, Fane, Fane, you gotta
use both hands when you punt.
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28. Spinx, you've got to
keep your eyes open.
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29. You're not seeing your
secondary receiver.
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30. I must be doing something
right, tomato head.
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31. We haven't lost
a game this year.
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32. Yeah, but—
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33. And if we win next week,
we'll be in the district finals.
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34. So when I want your advice,
I'll rattle your cage.
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35. I was just trying to
give you the benefit
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36. of my vast years of experience.
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37. And open my giant storehouse
of football savvy, know I mean?
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38. If you'd like later I could
give you some pointers.
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39. No.
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40. Yeah, a football
field is 100 yards long,
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41. but it's a game of
inches, of mere inches.
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42. Plus football ain't a
sport, football is a art.
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43. And it's all in
the fundamentals,
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44. like blocking and tackling.
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45. Suppose I had this
little problem to tackle.
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46. What I need to do is block it.
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47. Then we put the hammer down.
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48. And hold that line.
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49. Yep, the right tool
for the right job
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50. and a firm belief
in the fundamentals.
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51. Yeah, I remember that cold
rainy night when coach Brasswell
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52. walked up to the bench I was
warming and says, (DEEP VOICE)
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53. Crazy Legs, what we
need is a miracle.
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54. Yeah, Coach Brasswell always
knew who to call on when there
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55. was a tough job to be done.
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56. Crazy, he'd say, he
always called me Crazy—
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57. Huh?
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58. Uh.
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59. Oh!
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60. Oh, uh.
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61. Good
morning, Chickasaw Falls.
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62. Hello, Muskrats.
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63. The question of the day
is who put the snake
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64. in Karen Turpin's locker?
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65. And where is that snake now?
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66. Oh my god, it's huge!
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67. Can Rodney escape the hideous
clutches of the reptile?
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68. Stay tuned for the
exciting conclusion
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69. of Rodney, King of the Jungle.
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70. Chickasaw Falls High
School is the glue that holds
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71. our entire community together.
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72. Closing it down now would
be a fatal blow to the town.
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73. I answer to the taxpayers
of the entire district.
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74. And the only way to cut
costs is to consolidate the
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75. obsolete schools like this one.
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76. I realize the
building needs work.
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77. But our students and our
faculty are second to none.
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78. Let's cut to the chase here.
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79. The board is giving
you a four week
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80. probation period to see if
there's anything worth saving.
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81. And personally, I don't see it.
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82. Really?
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83. I think you'll be
surprised what you find.
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84. We are on course to graduate
every senior this year
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85. and that's never been done by
any school in the district.
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86. That reminds me,
Procter, new regulations.
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87. From here on, all
school employees must
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88. have a high school diploma.
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89. No problem there.
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90. Our faculty is fully accredited
and of the highest standards.
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91. You have an Ernest
P. Worrell here.
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92. My records indicate
he never graduated.
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93. Well, yes.
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94. But, but he's not faculty.
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95. You see, he's just—
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96. I don't make the rules.
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97. The regulations
say, all employees.
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98. Here we go.
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99. Excuse me.
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100. Your name wouldn't
be Worrell, would it?
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101. That's me and boy
are you in luck.
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102. You're just in time for
a personal demonstration
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103. of (DEEP VOICE) supremo vac,
the world's most powerful vacuum
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104. cleaner.
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105. Maybe some other time.
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106. Your loss.
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107. (YELLING) Ernest, turn that
thing off and get in here,
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108. please!
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109. A job well done.
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110. I'm sorry, sir, it never
acted like that before.
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111. And wouldn't you know it,
it's just out of warranty.
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112. We've got a problem, Ernest.
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113. Oh, the leaky faucet
in the locker room?
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114. Don't worry about it.
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115. It's been taken care of.
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116. Seriously, they've
changed the rules.
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117. All school system employees
must be high school graduates.
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118. Or, or what?
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119. Or you have to go.
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120. But, sir, this is my life.
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121. This is my career.
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122. This is my spiritual
fulfillment.
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123. It's, it's my job.
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124. It's either that or you
have to go back to school.
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125. Oh no!
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126. Not that!
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127. Anything but that!
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128. Not back to school!
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129. Good
morning, Chickasaw Falls.
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130. Got something special today.
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131. Got a new student.
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132. A man I like to call Ernest.
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133. Lets all give him a
big Muskrat welcome.
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134. Good morning, ladies.
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135. So you're going
to give it a try?
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136. Yes, sir.
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137. You know what that famous
Dr. Frankenstein said,
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138. a brain is a terrible
thing to waste.
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139. Good morning
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140. Good luck, Ernest.
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141. You can do it, Ernest!
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142. No problemo heir
teacher a-scientificus.
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143. Go ahead.
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144. Don't be late.
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145. Ah, he doesn't stand a chance.
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146. Nah.
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147. Nope.
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148. 152, 152, 152.
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149. 152!
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150. There you are my
little locker of love!
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151. My little personal port
in a storm of knowledge.
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152. My little sanctuary far away
from the teeming masses.
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153. OK, Ernest, you ready?
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154. Yeah.
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155. Let the games begin.
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156. All right, good luck.
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157. Thanks.
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158. See ya later, okay?
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159. Thanks.
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160. Go get 'em.
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161. Quick review, lets see.
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162. Homeroom, mathematics.
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163. This is supposed
to be memorized, bud.
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164. No, I need that.
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165. What's the matter,
Ernie, did your mommy
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166. hold you back a couple years?
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167. More like a couple
of decades, huh?
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168. Ow.
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169. Here we go.
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170. That's go all my room numbers.
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171. I can't find my way
around without—
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172. Get out of the way, buddy.
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173. That's got my classes on it.
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174. Not too close.
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175. I don't know my
way around, yet.
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176. Come one, guys.
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177. Please, I I need that.
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178. I get lost, I, I, can't
find my way around.
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179. Hello?
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180. Is anybody there?
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181. Does anybody know
where math class is?
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182. Math class is room 205.
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183. Thanks.
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184. Hey, you'll need a hall pass.
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185. Thanks.
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186. All right, class.
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187. Blackboard problem.
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188. A produce truck has
a trailer 12 feet wide
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189. by 10 feet high by 20 feet long.
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190. It carries the load
of oranges, which
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191. are packed 48 to the cotton.
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192. Each cotton is one feet
wide by one feet high by two
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193. and 1/2 feet long.
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194. If—
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195. —the trailer is fully loaded,
how many oranges does it hold?
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196. Who has the answer?
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197. Anyone?
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198. Yeow!
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199. All right, Ernest.
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200. Why don't you step
up to the board
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201. and show us all how
to find the answer?
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202. Man,
this ought to be great.
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203. I'd love to.
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204. First, we have to
take into account
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205. that at this time of year the
most likely crop of oranges
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206. are the sweet, juicy
Valencia oranges,
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207. grown mainly in Florida.
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208. If these oranges are picked
by overzealous migrant workers
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209. some of them may be too ripe
and this could lead to spoilage.
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210. Assuming that rot doesn't
spread too quickly,
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211. we could subtract, say,
three oranges per carton
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212. just be on the safe side.
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213. Plus, if there are
any big grapefruit
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214. mixed in there or any of those
big, fat, swollen orchard rats.
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215. Sit.
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216. I'm just getting
to the answer.
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217. These big fat rats they—
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218. Now!
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219. (ANGRILY) Take
your seat, Ernest.
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220. Sit down.
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221. Be my guest.
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222. Thank you.
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223. Sit, Ernest.
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224. I have told you to
sit, so, please sit!
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225. All right, ladies.
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226. Today we're going to
do a little wrestling.
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227. Who wants to help out?
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228. Worrell.
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229. You just volunteered.
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230. I think not, Coach.
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231. With my extensive
background in the WWF
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232. and since I've seen every single
Wrestlemania since the Hulkster
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233. was defeated by the
Ultimate Warrior,
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234. I hardly think it would be
fair to the other youngsters.
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235. Uh-huh.
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236. Get up there now!
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237. I'll move slowly,
Donald, so you
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238. can observe my cat-like moves.
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239. Coach Carson, you ready?
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240. Ay, woah woah!
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241. Yo, where you at?
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242. Hey, he's going to
try the atomic drop.
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243. Yeow!
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244. Coach, coach,
I've got him pinned.
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245. Coach!
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246. Hey, come on, Coach!
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247. Woah!
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248. Yo,
that's gonna hurt, man!
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249. Oh, Earnest,
are you all right?
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250. That last hold
was clearly illegal.
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251. Ah!
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252. What you're about to see is
for your eyes only, Ernest.
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253. If this experiment fell
into the wrong hands,
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254. world governments
would fall, my friend.
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255. Weapons of mass
destruction could
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256. fall into corrupt
hands and Bobby
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257. and I could lose our jobs.
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258. What's that on Mogley's head?
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259. You are about to witness
the trial run of a Nobel prize
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260. winning ticket to the big time!
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261. Bobby.
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262. With the aid of
this device, Ernest,
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263. this lowly beast
should be able to solve
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264. this simple mathematical
problem as easily
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265. as it can count and root.
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266. A four!
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267. Ernest!
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268. Oh, sorry.
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269. Give him another one, Bobby.
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270. Concentrate my little piggy.
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271. Come on, make mama
proud, two plus four is?
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272. Seven?
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273. Why?
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274. We were so close.
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275. Our family names
in the text books.
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276. Why, Bobby?
Why, Bobby?
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277. Why, Bobby?
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278. Why?
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279. Nothing to be
ashamed of, Mogley.
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280. Math was never a good
subject for me either.
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281. Well, you know,
just tell me about—
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282. Ah, puppy love.
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283. These are the moments to be
treasured for a lifetime.
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284. Yeah right.
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285. Maisy doesn't even
know I'm alive.
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286. Well, have you told
her how you feel?
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287. Are you kidding?
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288. I don't even dare say hello.
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289. Well it's probably
best for now.
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290. Your academic pursuits are
the most important things
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291. in these formative years.
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292. Still, the hardened heart
is a lonely traveler.
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293. Should I be writing
this stuff down?
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294. Class, class
settle down please.
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295. Settle down, thank you.
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296. As you all know, the
survival of our school
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297. is somewhat in
question at this time.
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298. Our very existence
may well depend
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299. upon the image we present
to the community at large.
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300. That's why we're fortunate
to have Miss Flugal
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301. as our new band instructor.
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302. She has a reputation for
producing the most delightfully
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303. entertaining halftime shows.
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304. I'm sure you'll give her
your complete attention
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305. and cooperation.
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306. Hello, I'm Ms. Flugal.
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307. And I'm looking forward
to getting to know
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308. each and every one of you.
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309. With hard work and enthusiasm I
know we can put this band back
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310. on the map, so to speak.
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311. Man, with this group she
doesn't stand a chance.
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312. So let's get started.
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313. If everyone will please turn
to Strauss' Blue Danube.
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314. And that will give me a sense
of your musicality thus far.
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315. One two three, two two three,
one two three, two two three.
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316. Ernest, snap out of it!
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317. Oh!
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318. So, by applying exactly
six milliwatts of DC power
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319. from these Duracell batteries,
the frogs leg demonstrates what
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320. we call a galvanic response.
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321. And that's what my
project is about.
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322. Did you hear that, Bobby?
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323. He has been using DC
power but we have been
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324. using AC on the you-know-what.
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325. Good report, kid.
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326. Way to bugs that toad.
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327. This is it, Bobby, this is it.
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328. So, you, kid with the yellow
shirt thing, do yours!
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329. This is the break
through we've been
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330. waiting for all of these years.
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331. If only dad were here to witness
our moment of triumph, yeah?
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332. What?
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333. Eyes up front.
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334. One of our most beloved
American writers is Mark Twain.
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335. His real name is Samuel Clemens.
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336. And a number of his works
are considered classics.
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337. Who can tell me the names
of some of the books
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338. Mark Twain wrote?
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339. Ernest!
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340. - Tom Sawyer?
- No!
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341. Life in the Mississippi?
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342. - No!
- Wizard! of Oz?
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343. No, your hat's on fire!
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344. I thought that was Dr. Seuss.
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345. The fire extinguisher!
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346. To be blunt, I am very
disappointed in you, Ernest.
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347. It seems like
there's little chance
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348. of you passing your
regular courses much
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349. less the state examination.
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350. Well I realize things
haven't been going too well,
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351. but I'm out of practice.
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352. No, I think we'd be best to
just admit the whole experiment
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353. was a mistake and move on.
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354. You mean, I'm finished?
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355. I'm outta here?
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356. I'm on the streets,
up the creek,
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357. down the road, dropped,
purged, cold, fired, flunked?
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358. Please, don't throw me out.
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359. A deal's a deal.
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360. Please don't make me go.
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361. I know we had a deal, but,
but I can't let that decision
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362. jeopardize the school.
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363. What are you stalling for?
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364. Get rid of this idiot!
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365. He can't cut it.
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366. I can too cut it.
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367. I'll make you proud.
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368. You'll see, but please, please
give me another chance cause,
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369. cause if I don't have this,
I don't have anything.
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370. Well I want to be
fair with you, Ernest.
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371. So I'm giving you one more
week to show some improvement.
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372. Oh, thank you, sir.
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373. Thank you.
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374. I'll do my best and
it'll be good enough.
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375. And everything will
work out, you'll see.
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376. You'll see.
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377. I'm going right now to
study real, real hard.
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378. Get rid of this
idiot, he can't cut it.
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379. I can cut it.
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380. Uh, ah, sure, I've never cut it
before, but anyone can change.
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381. Ernest,
you will answer me now.
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382. Could you repeat the question?
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383. Flunk him.
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384. He can't cut it.
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385. I can, I know I can.
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386. I think I can.
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387. You are such a loser.
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388. You're hopeless.
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389. I'm not.
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390. I can change.
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391. I just need more time.
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392. What's
the chief export of Guam?
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393. Who
wrote the autobiography
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394. of Benjamin Franklin?
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395. I
must have your paper.
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396. Who's
buried in Grant's tomb?
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397. Papers.
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398. They're right.
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399. I can't do it.
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400. Ernest, in here.
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401. Gerta?
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402. Yeah, sure.
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403. - What are you doing in there?
- Sh.
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404. Come.
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405. And don't let anyone see you.
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406. Come.
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407. Gosh, these lockers
hold more than I thought.
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408. Ernest, come in.
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409. Come.
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410. Step a little closer.
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411. Come on.
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412. It's OK.
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413. Closer.
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414. Stop.
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415. You've been having some problems
with you school work, yeah?
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416. Bobby and I would like
to make you an offer
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417. that could change your life.
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418. Not to mention the
course of history.
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419. Well, I'm game.
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420. Good because we've
done it, Ernest.
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421. You are looking at the
world's first subatomic brain
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422. accelerator.
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423. And you are the
lucky student who
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424. has been selected by our blue
ribbon panel, me and Bobby,
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425. for the honor of
being our very first—
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426. Guinea pig.
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427. I prefer the term
mental pioneer.
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428. Think of it, Ernest.
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429. All the knowledge in the history
of mankind at your disposal.
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430. Well, gosh do you
think this thing
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431. could help me pass a math test?
Copy !req
432. Pass a math test?
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433. Pass a math test?
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434. Try rewriting the
theory of relativity.
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435. Well, if you think
it really needs it.
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436. Now you're talking.
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437. OK, the important thing is
that you're comfortable.
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438. Come sit down.
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439. I want to see if it works here.
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440. Yeah?
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441. Yeah, are you comfy?
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442. Mm-hmm.
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443. Good!
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444. Strap him in, Bobby.
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445. All the straps may not
even be necessary, Ernest.
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446. But that's what being a mental
pioneer is all about, isn't it?
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447. Are you ready, Ernest?
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448. Actually I am having
some second thoughts.
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449. Oh! (SHUSHING) No.
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450. Now, Bobby, fire it up.
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451. Now, Ernest, get
ready to become smart.
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452. OK, Bobby, let her rip!
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453. Ernest, how I envy you.
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454. Professor, pull it out to
just the left hemisphere.
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455. Uh, Bobby.
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456. Shut it down.
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457. Shut it down!
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458. Ernest?
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459. Oh, Ernest, Ernest, my friend.
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460. Are you in there?
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461. (INTELLIGENTLY) By
saying, are you in there,
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462. you must be making the
philosophical assumption
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463. that I'm a conscious
entity wholly
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464. capable of existing outside the
body you see in front of you.
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465. (ERNEST REGULAR VOICE)
Know what I mean?
Copy !req
466. It works!
Copy !req
467. It works!
Copy !req
468. Oh, Bobby, Bobby,
Bobby, it works!
Copy !req
469. Am I smart now?
Copy !req
470. Oh no, not now.
Copy !req
471. But for a few brief moments
there baby, you were brilliant!
Copy !req
472. Gosh, fellas, I don't
know how to thank you!
Copy !req
473. Ah, yeah, nothing.
Copy !req
474. Listen, you got to get
here bright and early
Copy !req
475. so that we can load you up.
Copy !req
476. And if my calculations
are correct,
Copy !req
477. a normal sized brain
can only maintain
Copy !req
478. a charge for about three hours.
Copy !req
479. So in your case, liebchen,
we're looking at 45 minutes
Copy !req
480. to an hour tops.
Copy !req
481. Well, gosh, maybe this
means I could pass now.
Copy !req
482. Just remember,
Ernest, give yourself
Copy !req
483. plenty of time to recharge
before every class, OK?
Copy !req
484. Eureka!
Copy !req
485. Good
morning, Chickasaw Falls,
Copy !req
486. and the countdown is on to
find out who'll be little miss
Copy !req
487. perfect, the homecoming queen.
Copy !req
488. Yeah, real excitement
there, with a win
Copy !req
489. this week we can go to
the district finals.
Copy !req
490. We can be football heroes!
Copy !req
491. Right class, who can give
me the answer to the problem I
Copy !req
492. said for homework?
Copy !req
493. Come now, surely someone
must have worked it out.
Copy !req
494. Ernest, all right,
what's your guess?
Copy !req
495. (INTELLIGENTLY) The answer is
y to the fourth power plus 16y
Copy !req
496. cubed plus 71y squared minus
4y minus 420 equals zero.
Copy !req
497. That's right!
Copy !req
498. Well of course it's right.
Copy !req
499. Why don't you show
the rest of the class
Copy !req
500. how you arrived at your answer?
Copy !req
501. Be glad to.
Copy !req
502. The key thing to
remember here, class,
Copy !req
503. is that by increasing
the true roots
Copy !req
504. of an equation we therefore
decrease the false roots
Copy !req
505. by an equal amount.
Copy !req
506. And on the contrary, by
decreasing the false roots
Copy !req
507. we increase the true
roots by an equal amount.
Copy !req
508. Am I going too fast for those
of you who are taking notes?
Copy !req
509. Good.
Copy !req
510. So to continue.
Copy !req
511. Increasing the true
root, five by three
Copy !req
512. we diminish each
of the false roots
Copy !req
513. so that the root previously four
is now only one and the root
Copy !req
514. previously three is zero
and the root previously two
Copy !req
515. is the true root equal to
minus 4y minus 420 equals zero.
Copy !req
516. Now that we've
covered the basics,
Copy !req
517. why don't we go on to something
a little more stimulating?
Copy !req
518. So, how did it go?
Copy !req
519. (NORMAL VOICE) Great!
Copy !req
520. I never knew I was so smart.
Copy !req
521. Come on, come on, let's go!
Copy !req
522. I'm gonna be late.
Copy !req
523. Well, excuse me.
Copy !req
524. Would everyone please
get out the Sousa book,
Copy !req
525. Stars and Stripes Forever.
Copy !req
526. And we'll see if we can't
discover what we were
Copy !req
527. doing wrong the other day, hm?
Copy !req
528. (INTELLIGENTLY)
Hello, my little friend.
Copy !req
529. How come all the sudden you
show up late for everything?
Copy !req
530. I'm bored by
the preliminaries.
Copy !req
531. They're so elementary,
don't you think?
Copy !req
532. That's another thing, how
come all of a sudden you're
Copy !req
533. such an expert on everything?
Copy !req
534. Everyone has the potential
for brilliance, my boy.
Copy !req
535. I've just been fortunate enough
to find the key that unlocks
Copy !req
536. the powers of the human mind.
Copy !req
537. Right.
Copy !req
538. From the top.
Copy !req
539. Think pitch, trumpets.
Copy !req
540. One two, two two.
Copy !req
541. All right people.
Copy !req
542. People, please.
Copy !req
543. May I make a suggestion?
Copy !req
544. Well yes, Ernest.
Copy !req
545. First of all you
must understand
Copy !req
546. that this song, perhaps
more than any other,
Copy !req
547. represents the fighting
spirit of the United States
Copy !req
548. of America.
Copy !req
549. So as you raise your
horn to your lips,
Copy !req
550. try to think of those courageous
young soldiers, the loved
Copy !req
551. ones they left behind,
Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas
Copy !req
552. morning, the Easter Parade.
Copy !req
553. Your middle valve
needs a little oil.
Copy !req
554. Woodwinds, woodwinds, woodwinds.
Copy !req
555. The color, the nuance of 50
distinct individual United
Copy !req
556. States.
It's all up to you.
Copy !req
557. Everybody now.
Copy !req
558. Class, I think we've
found our new drum major.
Copy !req
559. What do you say, Ernest?
Copy !req
560. It'll take a lot of work.
Copy !req
561. And I have my
reputation to think of.
Copy !req
562. Oh, come on Ernest.
Copy !req
563. Please, Ernest?
Copy !req
564. Well, if you insist.
Copy !req
565. As you are
probably aware, there
Copy !req
566. are certain persons associated
with this football team
Copy !req
567. that would rather we
didn't play halftime
Copy !req
568. at the homecoming game.
Copy !req
569. They say, we're an
embarrassment to the school.
Copy !req
570. They say, we defile the
name of the mighty Muskrats.
Copy !req
571. We'll I say, why are we
going to allow the football
Copy !req
572. team to have all the glory?
Copy !req
573. Glory, which by all
rights, is ours!
Copy !req
574. How do we do this, you ask?
Copy !req
575. Who could we impress?
Copy !req
576. We're just a bunch
of no talent losers.
Copy !req
577. Why we don't know an
eighth note from fly poop.
Copy !req
578. Well, I beg to differ.
Copy !req
579. A good leader could turn
this no account rabble
Copy !req
580. into a drum pounding, horn
blowing, foot stomping,
Copy !req
581. precision marching unit.
Copy !req
582. A good leader could
take you deadbeats
Copy !req
583. and turn you into
a marching band
Copy !req
584. better than any Chickasaw
Falls has ever seen.
Copy !req
585. And honesty compels me to tell
you that I am that leader.
Copy !req
586. Oh, Bradley,
did you lose this?
Copy !req
587. All right.
Copy !req
588. In one two, one two three four.
Copy !req
589. Can you feel it, Harold?
Copy !req
590. There's a new spirit in
here, and it's great.
Copy !req
591. You've got another full week
to enjoy before the ax falls.
Copy !req
592. Well, I'd hate to be
the one to close down
Copy !req
593. a school with the
winning football team
Copy !req
594. and a rousing halftime show.
Copy !req
595. You don't have to.
Copy !req
596. That's my job.
Copy !req
597. After school what say we drop
by the video arcade and you can
Copy !req
598. watch whilst I dazzle one
and all with my uncanny
Copy !req
599. hand-eye coordination.
Copy !req
600. No, no, I don't
think so, Ernest.
Copy !req
601. We could go by
the park and you
Copy !req
602. could see how many
games of chess
Copy !req
603. I could play simultaneously.
Copy !req
604. No, you don't need us
to do any of that stuff.
Copy !req
605. Besides, I have to study,
not like some people I know.
Copy !req
606. As I've told you before,
I've learned that secret
Copy !req
607. to unlocking the
powers of the mind.
Copy !req
608. Yeah, well, however it works
I don't know how to do it.
Copy !req
609. So—
Copy !req
610. My good man, would you
happen to have any sauce venais
Copy !req
611. for this meatloaf ordinaire?
Copy !req
612. Fresh cilantro?
Picante salsa?
Copy !req
613. We got ketchup.
Copy !req
614. That's what I like
to eat it with.
Copy !req
615. Yes, I bet you do.
Copy !req
616. You know Ernest, you've
turned into a real jerk.
Copy !req
617. I liked you a lot better
when you weren't so smart.
Copy !req
618. Yeah, that
should do it, Bobby.
Copy !req
619. Now the machine's perfect.
Copy !req
620. Oh, I cannot wait to try
this on a real human brain!
Copy !req
621. But, until then,
Ernest will have to do.
Copy !req
622. Wakey, wakey, fellas.
Copy !req
623. I'm running late this
morning and I've got
Copy !req
624. lots of important things to do.
Copy !req
625. Yes, good morning
to you, too, Ernest.
Copy !req
626. We have made some
slight modifications
Copy !req
627. that I think is going to make
this baby work even better.
Copy !req
628. Gerta, I'm sure that's all
very fascinating to someone
Copy !req
629. who really cares.
Copy !req
630. But could we please
dispense with the small talk
Copy !req
631. and get on with this?
Copy !req
632. Come, Bobby.
Copy !req
633. We've got a very
important person here.
Copy !req
634. Wouldn't want to waste
any of his valuable time.
Copy !req
635. Thank you.
Copy !req
636. There, that's more like it.
Copy !req
637. And the next time,
would you both
Copy !req
638. try to be ready when I get here?
Copy !req
639. I'm on a very tight schedule
and having to wait on you
Copy !req
640. two doesn't make
things any easier.
Copy !req
641. Good day.
Copy !req
642. Being smart hasn't done a
lot for Ernest's personality.
Copy !req
643. Got a pretty high opinion
of himself, for a lab rat.
Copy !req
644. Bobby, what is this?
Copy !req
645. You've held the
power back on him?
Copy !req
646. Ernest will only be smart
for another 38 minutes!
Copy !req
647. Why, Bobby?
Copy !req
648. Why, Bobby, you devil.
Copy !req
649. All right,
now class, settle down.
Copy !req
650. Settle down now please.
Copy !req
651. Settle.
Copy !req
652. Today we'll be continuing our
study of America in the 1800's.
Copy !req
653. This was truly a
century of great unrest,
Copy !req
654. mixed with major strides
forward as the United
Copy !req
655. States began to take its
place on the world stage.
Copy !req
656. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.
Copy !req
657. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
658. Ah blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah blah.
Copy !req
659. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
660. Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
661. Blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
662. Blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
663. Blah, blah blah.
Copy !req
664. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
665. Uh blah, blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
666. Blah, blah.
Copy !req
667. And so, I hope you all can
see what an exciting period
Copy !req
668. of history this was.
Copy !req
669. Now we only have time
for one report today.
Copy !req
670. Who'd like to give theirs?
Copy !req
671. Ernest?
Copy !req
672. Well it's about time.
Copy !req
673. Thank you.
Copy !req
674. While I'm sure most of you
have heard of Seward's Folly,
Copy !req
675. I am equally sure
that none of you
Copy !req
676. understand the important
historical significance
Copy !req
677. of this momentous event.
Copy !req
678. I refer to, of course,
the Alas— haha,
Copy !req
679. the Alaska purchase.
Copy !req
680. (NORMAL VOICE RETURNING)
The year, um, 1867.
Copy !req
681. The man William
He-He-He Henry Seward.
Copy !req
682. He was a prom-a-ha-na
hey-nada ha-nada
Copy !req
683. the United States senator.
Copy !req
684. Who can be-he ca-ha me-he
uh-coh hon-uh —gressman.
Copy !req
685. That he be-he na-had
Copy !req
686. Thank you.
Copy !req
687. Wacka.
Copy !req
688. Wacka, wacka, wacka.
Copy !req
689. Come, Ernest, come.
Copy !req
690. Bobby just speculated
a little lesson.
Copy !req
691. He didn't mean anything by it.
Copy !req
692. Wacka, wacka,
wacka, wacka, wacka.
Copy !req
693. What's that, Lassie?
Copy !req
694. Timmy's in trouble?
Copy !req
695. Did you get it?
Copy !req
696. (INTELLIGENTLY) Show
business is my life, people.
Copy !req
697. And if there's one
thing I've learned
Copy !req
698. in this crazy, mixed
up biz, is you've got
Copy !req
699. to give them what they want.
Copy !req
700. You've got to razzle
them and dazzle them.
Copy !req
701. Astound them and amaze them and
leave them begging for more.
Copy !req
702. Now, listen up because I'm
only going to say this once.
Copy !req
703. If you lose your place and
don't know what to do watch me.
Copy !req
704. If the crowd makes you nervous—
Copy !req
705. Watch me.
Copy !req
706. Tubas, if we get fatigued
on that last credenza
Copy !req
707. what are we going to do?
Copy !req
708. Watch me.
Copy !req
709. All right,
now from the top.
Copy !req
710. And flag twirlers, I want
you to wave those flags
Copy !req
711. like patriotic zealots.
Copy !req
712. All right.
Copy !req
713. A one a two, a one
two three four.
Copy !req
714. All right.
Copy !req
715. Well Wanda hits the
gong as fireworks queue,
Copy !req
716. I hit the kettle drum.
Copy !req
717. Rocket, rocket, rocket.
Copy !req
718. I hit the xylophone.
Copy !req
719. Rocket, rocket, rocket.
Copy !req
720. They've been working so hard.
Copy !req
721. All they can think
about is the firework
Copy !req
722. display at the homecoming.
Copy !req
723. I'm sure they
will be just fine
Copy !req
724. as long as they keep it short
and don't try to embarrass—
Copy !req
725. what band is this?
Copy !req
726. That's Earnest.
Copy !req
727. I mean that's us.
Copy !req
728. Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Copy !req
729. Wrong, all wrong.
Copy !req
730. Ernest?
Copy !req
731. Ernest, Mr. Procter would
like to have a word with you.
Copy !req
732. Take five everyone.
Copy !req
733. Miss Flugal tells me
you've completely turned
Copy !req
734. around the program, Ernest!
Copy !req
735. Congratulations son.
Copy !req
736. You have no idea what this
could mean for our school.
Copy !req
737. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
738. It's a shame our performance
will have to be interrupted
Copy !req
739. by a mere football game.
Copy !req
740. Well, yes.
Copy !req
741. Keep up the good work and
good luck tomorrow night.
Copy !req
742. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
743. Oh, I'll be right with you.
Copy !req
744. Ernest, I—
Copy !req
745. Yes?
Copy !req
746. There's a dance after
the game tomorrow night
Copy !req
747. and I have to chaperone.
Copy !req
748. So I was wondering if
you'd like to go with me?
Copy !req
749. Well I, I haven't
checked my schedule but um,
Copy !req
750. I think I'm free.
Copy !req
751. People, people!
Copy !req
752. Once more from the top.
Copy !req
753. And this time with feeling!
Copy !req
754. Chick Hansen here.
Copy !req
755. Well, it's a gorgeous
fall evening.
Copy !req
756. And it's been an all
Muskrat first half
Copy !req
757. as we've managed to skunk
the Knights of Regal View.
Copy !req
758. Star quarterback Brad Spinx
has never looked better
Copy !req
759. at finding his receivers
as the Muskrats again drive
Copy !req
760. deep into Knight territory.
Copy !req
761. That's another six
for the Muskrats.
Copy !req
762. This homecoming crowd has
really got our boys fired up.
Copy !req
763. Way to go, girls.
Copy !req
764. Bravo.
Copy !req
765. I am so excited.
Copy !req
766. Look at this crowd, I've
never seen so many people.
Copy !req
767. A fitting audience
for my crowning triumph
Copy !req
768. as drum major to the
stars, don't you think?
Copy !req
769. I just hope everything
goes all right.
Copy !req
770. Don't you worry your pretty
little head about that.
Copy !req
771. As long as my youngsters
remember the number one rule,
Copy !req
772. everything will be just fine.
Copy !req
773. And what's that rule?
Copy !req
774. Watch me.
Copy !req
775. You see?
Copy !req
776. What could go wrong?
Copy !req
777. Ernest, where are you going?
Copy !req
778. Oh, I just
remembered I, I left
Copy !req
779. something in the band room.
Copy !req
780. I'll be right back.
Copy !req
781. Well you better be, Ernest,
everybody is counting on you.
Copy !req
782. Would a King miss
his own coronation?
Copy !req
783. I think not.
Copy !req
784. (NORMAL VOICE)
What happened here?
Copy !req
785. The came like
thieves in the night
Copy !req
786. and attacked cruelly
and without provocation.
Copy !req
787. Who would do such a thing?
Copy !req
788. People chose with small minds.
Copy !req
789. Defenders of the status quo,
afraid of a brave new world.
Copy !req
790. Philistines, barbarians.
Copy !req
791. Republicans, who knows?
Copy !req
792. Well, can you fix it?
Copy !req
793. Oh sure, Ernest, let me
just get this knot out.
Copy !req
794. What am I gonna do?
Copy !req
795. I can't go out there like this.
Copy !req
796. I'm just me.
Copy !req
797. (GULPS) Oh.
Copy !req
798. And
now, the marching
Copy !req
799. Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls.
Copy !req
800. Where's Ernest?
Copy !req
801. I don't know.
Copy !req
802. But we've got to go on now.
Copy !req
803. I've seen these
kids rehearsing.
Copy !req
804. It was quite impressive.
Copy !req
805. (SARCASTICALLY) I'm
on the edge of my seat.
Copy !req
806. Well, it's about time.
Copy !req
807. We've got to go back.
We can't go on.
Copy !req
808. This will never work.
Copy !req
809. It's too late for that,
the show's already started.
Copy !req
810. I've got to tell
you something,
Copy !req
811. it's not what you think.
Copy !req
812. I'm not really smart.
Copy !req
813. You get up there.
Copy !req
814. Remember what you told me?
Copy !req
815. Watch me.
Copy !req
816. Go.
Copy !req
817. Oh.
Copy !req
818. Uh.
Copy !req
819. One
two, one two three four.
Copy !req
820. How about
those marching Muskrats!
Copy !req
821. Yelp.
Copy !req
822. Help.
Copy !req
823. Ah.
Copy !req
824. Ah, ah.
Copy !req
825. Yeow.
Copy !req
826. Whoah.
Copy !req
827. Whoah.
Copy !req
828. Whoa, wah ho.
Copy !req
829. ERNEST (MUFFLED IN
Oh, oh, uh, oh.
Copy !req
830. Get me outta here.
Copy !req
831. Help me get outta here.
Copy !req
832. Help me get outta here.
Copy !req
833. Help me, help,
get me outta here.
Copy !req
834. Run, run!
Copy !req
835. Come on, come on.
Copy !req
836. Get the hose on, lets go, huh!
Copy !req
837. It's your fault!
Copy !req
838. I hold you responsible.
Copy !req
839. I never should have
allowed you to let
Copy !req
840. Ernest take over this program!
Copy !req
841. I know I let everybody down.
Copy !req
842. I had my chance and I blew it.
Copy !req
843. I'm sorry about everything
I'm sorry I'm me.
Copy !req
844. Good-bye my faithful locker.
Copy !req
845. Good-bye my little
monkey wrench.
Copy !req
846. You coping saws seem to
be taking this very well.
Copy !req
847. I really blew it this time,
didn't I, Mister Needle-nose?
Copy !req
848. (AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS)
You sure did, Ernest.
Copy !req
849. You let the whole school down.
Copy !req
850. (NORMAL VOICE) I let
the whole school down.
Copy !req
851. (AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS)
You let Miss Flugal down.
Copy !req
852. (NORMAL VOICE) I let
Miss Flugal down.
Copy !req
853. You treated
Donald like scum.
Copy !req
854. I treated Donald like scum.
Copy !req
855. And you acted like
a real jerk to everybody.
Copy !req
856. I acted like a real
jerk to everybody.
Copy !req
857. And now I got to study
just like everybody else.
Copy !req
858. And now I have
to study like e—
Copy !req
859. wait a minute!
Copy !req
860. That's not your voice!
Copy !req
861. Didn't think you'd get out of
that easily, did you, Ernest?
Copy !req
862. You have to take a test
like the rest of us.
Copy !req
863. Yeah, we're gonna tutor
you til you scream for mercy.
Copy !req
864. Are you sure there's
not another way?
Copy !req
865. No, you're just
going to have to study.
Copy !req
866. Gosh!
Copy !req
867. What's the predominant
element in bones?
Copy !req
868. Who shot Abraham Lincoln?
Copy !req
869. What's the fifth
most common element?
Copy !req
870. Yogurt.
Copy !req
871. Cheese.
Copy !req
872. Some guy with a gun.
Copy !req
873. Not dairy products, Ernest.
Copy !req
874. What guy?
Copy !req
875. Great potato
famine of mid 1800's.
Copy !req
876. Chalk.
Copy !req
877. Um, the Klingons!
Copy !req
878. No!
Copy !req
879. - Colonel Sanders.
- No.
Copy !req
880. Abraham Lincoln.
Copy !req
881. The Penguin!
Copy !req
882. This is hopeless!
Copy !req
883. Elements.
Copy !req
884. Wyatt Earp.
Copy !req
885. Elephants.
- What country?
Copy !req
886. Are you sure it's
not the penguin?
Copy !req
887. Idaho.
We're sure!
Copy !req
888. - Country.
- Ivory.
Copy !req
889. Garth Brooks.
Copy !req
890. Helium.
Copy !req
891. Nine to the fifth power.
Copy !req
892. Seward's Folly.
Copy !req
893. 5440 or fight.
Copy !req
894. Agriculture.
Copy !req
895. Rockin' Rodney, here.
Copy !req
896. Today's question is who set
fire to the Ironman float
Copy !req
897. last night after the pep rally?
Copy !req
898. And quite frankly, how
do we thank these people?
Copy !req
899. Got the big one this weekend.
Copy !req
900. Got the district
finals, got a chance
Copy !req
901. to win the whole enchilada.
Copy !req
902. Hey, were going to
be football heroes!
Copy !req
903. Yeah, fighting Muskrats
taking their place in history.
Copy !req
904. Oh yeah.
Copy !req
905. Ernest!
Copy !req
906. OK.
Copy !req
907. Here we go.
Copy !req
908. The big test.
Copy !req
909. Now all you have to do
is relax and concentrate.
Copy !req
910. My brain hurts.
Copy !req
911. I think it's broke.
Copy !req
912. I don't think man was supposed
to have this much knowledge,
Copy !req
913. know what I mean?
Copy !req
914. Ernest, open up!
Copy !req
915. We fixed it!
Copy !req
916. I never thought we
could do it so fast
Copy !req
917. but when Bobby sets his mind
to something, let me tell you,
Copy !req
918. there is just no stopping him.
Copy !req
919. That's great!
Copy !req
920. That means now I
can pass for sure.
Copy !req
921. Yes siree!
Copy !req
922. Ya vol!
Copy !req
923. We got a new and improved
brain accelerator that is just
Copy !req
924. waiting for you to plug into.
Copy !req
925. OK?
Copy !req
926. Thanks anyway,
Gerta, but I think
Copy !req
927. I better do this one on my own.
Copy !req
928. You're joking!
Copy !req
929. Ernest,
what about science?
Copy !req
930. What about the Nobel Prize?
Copy !req
931. What about giving us
a break, we need you!
Copy !req
932. We can't afford a chimp!
Copy !req
933. All right, students.
Copy !req
934. No talking.
Copy !req
935. No wandering eyes.
Copy !req
936. Ready, begin!
Copy !req
937. Is there a
problem Mr. Worrell?
Copy !req
938. No, ma'am.
Copy !req
939. How did it go, Ernest?
Copy !req
940. I don't know, it's it's
all just kind of a blur.
Copy !req
941. Know what I mean?
Copy !req
942. Well whatever happens,
I'm proud of you.
Copy !req
943. Come on.
Copy !req
944. Come on.
Copy !req
945. Chick Hansen here.
Copy !req
946. Well it's a perfect crisp
afternoon for a game.
Copy !req
947. And what a game we've got!
Copy !req
948. It's a once in a lifetime
David and Goliath match up
Copy !req
949. between our own
fighting Muskrats
Copy !req
950. of Chickasaw Falls and
the undefeated Ironman
Copy !req
951. of Central High.
Copy !req
952. A school that produces
championship teams
Copy !req
953. is not the kind of school
that should be closed.
Copy !req
954. Wouldn't you agree,
Miss Nichols.
Copy !req
955. Oh, well, as a private
individual I do agree with you.
Copy !req
956. But as chairperson of the
school board, of course
Copy !req
957. I'm trying to keep an open mind.
Copy !req
958. Anyway the question is moot
because Central is going to win
Copy !req
959. today and they'll be champion.
Copy !req
960. Oh yeah, is that right?
Copy !req
961. Hey
Principal Procter,
Copy !req
962. can I see you a second?
Copy !req
963. Excuse me.
Copy !req
964. Knock 'em dead, Ernest.
Copy !req
965. Ladies
and gentlemen, the lady
Copy !req
966. Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls!
Copy !req
967. Slow down a minute,
Coach, we need to talk.
Copy !req
968. Nah, this is not
a good time for me.
Copy !req
969. You've heard about my plans
to close your high school.
Copy !req
970. Yeah, yeah, I've heard.
Copy !req
971. Well, I've got a
little problem that I
Copy !req
972. think you can help me with.
Copy !req
973. What?
Copy !req
974. If you win today,
you'll be district
Copy !req
975. champs and that'll make
things a lot harder for me.
Copy !req
976. Well we're gonna win!
Copy !req
977. We're gonna whoop 'em!
Copy !req
978. I don't see how I can help ya.
Copy !req
979. You can make sure
your team loses.
Copy !req
980. Why would I want to do that?
Copy !req
981. If you lose,
I'll guarantee you
Copy !req
982. the job of head coach of Central
High when we merge the schools.
Copy !req
983. I don't know.
Copy !req
984. Chickasaw Falls will
close anyway, you might as
Copy !req
985. well get something out of it.
Copy !req
986. We could've beat those guys.
Copy !req
987. So what?
Copy !req
988. A week from now nobody'll
remember who won what.
Copy !req
989. We could beat those guys.
Copy !req
990. Could've beat them!
Copy !req
991. Hey!
Copy !req
992. Somebody get me outta here!
Copy !req
993. All right, boys,
bring it on in here.
Copy !req
994. Lets go!
Copy !req
995. All right, listen up fellas.
Copy !req
996. I got a new game plan.
Copy !req
997. This is certainly
not the caliber of football
Copy !req
998. we've come to expect
from Coach Decker
Copy !req
999. and his fighting Muskrats.
Copy !req
1000. The Ironmen seem to
have our Muskrats
Copy !req
1001. completely fooled out there.
Copy !req
1002. And that's another six, now
seven points for the Ironmen,
Copy !req
1003. which puts our Muskrats
at a pathetic 18 to zip.
Copy !req
1004. Well the good news is the
first half is almost over.
Copy !req
1005. The bad news is there's
still another 30
Copy !req
1006. minutes of this massacre to go.
Copy !req
1007. I'm in here.
Copy !req
1008. Could you let me out?
Copy !req
1009. Hey!
Copy !req
1010. Hey, if anyone's out
there, I'm in here.
Copy !req
1011. Could you let me out?
Copy !req
1012. You gotta let me outta here.
Copy !req
1013. Well, hey!
Copy !req
1014. Ah, I owe ya one, pal.
Copy !req
1015. I love this guy!
Copy !req
1016. Look out.
Comin' through.
Copy !req
1017. Look out, squirt.
Copy !req
1018. Rodney, where have you been?
Copy !req
1019. Oh, man, it's a long story.
Copy !req
1020. But here it goes.
Copy !req
1021. That Axwell guy, he talked Coach
Decker into throwing the game.
Copy !req
1022. What?
Copy !req
1023. They can't do that!
Copy !req
1024. Well, who's
going to stop them?
Copy !req
1025. We are!
Copy !req
1026. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
1027. With what?
Copy !req
1028. Don't you see?
Copy !req
1029. We're the last line of defense.
Copy !req
1030. It's the Battle of the
Bulge and it's up to us
Copy !req
1031. to hold the Greek hoards
off the Pacific fleet.
Copy !req
1032. So what do we do, Ernest?
Copy !req
1033. Luckily, I've got an
idea I've been saving
Copy !req
1034. for just such an occasion.
Copy !req
1035. Does this make water?
Does it?
Copy !req
1036. We need your help!
Copy !req
1037. The fate of our
school depends on us.
Copy !req
1038. Bobby, for Chickasaw Falls.
Copy !req
1039. For truth, justice, and
the Germanic American way.
Copy !req
1040. Um.
Copy !req
1041. - Maisy.
- Maisy.
Copy !req
1042. Great, OK.
Copy !req
1043. Ernest is going to
stall as long as he can.
Copy !req
1044. Here's what we need.
- OK.
Copy !req
1045. OK, we're going to need some
sleeping gas with gas masks—
Copy !req
1046. And
now, the marching
Copy !req
1047. Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls.
Copy !req
1048. No, not your marching band.
Copy !req
1049. They do try very hard.
Copy !req
1050. There won't be this
kind of embarrassment
Copy !req
1051. at the new school.
Copy !req
1052. Now
it's time to get
Copy !req
1053. down and do the funky Muskrat!
Copy !req
1054. (SINGING) Get your soul food
a la king, Muskrats marching
Copy !req
1055. to a James Brown thing.
Copy !req
1056. Homeboy's grooving
down the street,
Copy !req
1057. got his mojo working
on a Muskrat beat.
Copy !req
1058. Good, boys, the towels.
Copy !req
1059. Right now, their vision
is getting very blurry.
Copy !req
1060. A sense of well-being
is creeping over them.
Copy !req
1061. They're experiencing vertigo
and a strong desire to lie down.
Copy !req
1062. OK, turn it off, Bobby.
Copy !req
1063. Let's go.
Copy !req
1064. Remember guys, this is
very powerful sleeping gas.
Copy !req
1065. So keep those masks on tight.
Copy !req
1066. Go on, go on!
Copy !req
1067. Maisy, this
isn't going to work.
Copy !req
1068. We can't play football.
Copy !req
1069. We can play better
than these guys are playing.
Copy !req
1070. Come on, you guys.
Copy !req
1071. Lets get these
uniforms off them.
Copy !req
1072. Someone's gotta try
and win this game.
Copy !req
1073. Would you
please put your hands together
Copy !req
1074. for the amazing horns in space!
Copy !req
1075. Symmetry and artistry
join hands with Ed's TV
Copy !req
1076. and Appliance to bring you
the graceful spiral of life.
Copy !req
1077. The Sabre Dance.
Copy !req
1078. OK, kids, look, this is—
Copy !req
1079. All right, good work,
get out there man.
Copy !req
1080. So far, so good.
Copy !req
1081. That was the easy part.
Copy !req
1082. We better go see
how Ernest is doing.
Copy !req
1083. OK.
Copy !req
1084. Come on 'Rats band,
let's go get 'em!
Copy !req
1085. All right guys, lets do it!
Copy !req
1086. I hope being quarterback
doesn't go to Ernest's head!
Copy !req
1087. The most important thing
is that a team have a leader.
Copy !req
1088. A star.
Copy !req
1089. A bright light that shines
through the darkness
Copy !req
1090. so that others may follow.
Copy !req
1091. And I am that man.
Copy !req
1092. That sounds familiar.
Copy !req
1093. In my prime, I was known
as Crazy Legs Worrell.
Copy !req
1094. So just give me the
ball and watch the show,
Copy !req
1095. know what I mean?
Copy !req
1096. The Muskrats
look much the worse
Copy !req
1097. for wear and no wonder
after the brutal beating
Copy !req
1098. they've taken thus far.
Copy !req
1099. Hut!
Copy !req
1100. These Muskrats are
Copy !req
1101. playing like they don't deserve
to be in championship game.
Copy !req
1102. And, in this man's opinion, are
a disgrace to the proud colors
Copy !req
1103. of Chickasaw Falls.
Copy !req
1104. Ladies and gentlemen,
oh the humanity,
Copy !req
1105. never can I recall
a more wretched
Copy !req
1106. display of physical ineptitude.
Copy !req
1107. And with the score standing
an embarrassing 39 to nothing
Copy !req
1108. there is no joy in
Mundale tonight.
Copy !req
1109. Ernest, come with me.
Copy !req
1110. Come.
Copy !req
1111. I know that philosophically
using this device
Copy !req
1112. may be repugnant to your sense
of sportsmanship and fair play,
Copy !req
1113. but quite frankly my friend
I think it is high time we
Copy !req
1114. introduce the Ironmen
to the new and improved
Copy !req
1115. subatomic brain accelerator.
Copy !req
1116. Make me a master Muskrat.
Copy !req
1117. Great!
Copy !req
1118. Let's hurry!
Copy !req
1119. Oh and Ernest, this time try
not to act like such a jerk, hm?
Copy !req
1120. (DEEP VOICE) All right.
Copy !req
1121. Now the gloves come off.
Copy !req
1122. It
looks like the Muskrats
Copy !req
1123. are going with a new quarterback
and it's Ernest P. Worrell?
Copy !req
1124. The Muskrats have the
ball fourth and 27
Copy !req
1125. at their own 49 yard
line and it looks
Copy !req
1126. like they're going for it.
Copy !req
1127. I guess they figured
they've got nothing to lose.
Copy !req
1128. 39 hut, hut, hut.
Copy !req
1129. Go, Ernest, go!
Copy !req
1130. Bring home the bacon!
Copy !req
1131. Oh, sorry, Mogley.
Copy !req
1132. Beep, beep, beep.
Copy !req
1133. The Muskrats have the ball
and they're finally on the move.
Copy !req
1134. 37, 25, a one two,
a one two three hut.
Copy !req
1135. It looks like
the Muskrats have the Ironmen
Copy !req
1136. completely baffled out there.
Copy !req
1137. Ha, ha, ha.
Copy !req
1138. I don't know what's
gotten into them,
Copy !req
1139. but the Muskrats look like
a different team out there.
Copy !req
1140. Animals, right.
Copy !req
1141. You are a wolverine.
Copy !req
1142. OK, you are a, uh, rhinoceros.
Copy !req
1143. You are a fuzzy little
mouse, but you're mean,
Copy !req
1144. you're vicious.
Copy !req
1145. And the extra point is good!
Copy !req
1146. There's the kick off.
Copy !req
1147. And the Muskrats bring
'em down near mid-field.
Copy !req
1148. But with just 20 seconds
left on the clock,
Copy !req
1149. it looks like the valiant
heroics are all for naught.
Copy !req
1150. All right, so what
do we do now, Ernest?
Copy !req
1151. I don't know, fellas,
I'm fresh out of ideas.
Copy !req
1152. Leave it to me guys.
Copy !req
1153. Here's what we do.
Copy !req
1154. OK, I'll need your
help. (WHISPERS)
Copy !req
1155. Off-center and then
you guys back me up.
Copy !req
1156. Yoo-hoo, number 57!
Copy !req
1157. Hey, you're cute.
Copy !req
1158. Break!
Copy !req
1159. IRONMAN PLAYER: 32.
Copy !req
1160. 32.
Copy !req
1161. Hut!
Copy !req
1162. For me?
Copy !req
1163. Thank you.
Copy !req
1164. Timeout!
Copy !req
1165. It's the old cupid play!
Copy !req
1166. The old cupid play!
Copy !req
1167. What a game!
Copy !req
1168. The Muskrats have called their
last timeout with just three
Copy !req
1169. seconds left on the clock.
Copy !req
1170. And meanwhile, the
backfield comes back
Copy !req
1171. here to cover me on the play.
Copy !req
1172. Any questions?
Copy !req
1173. All right then.
Copy !req
1174. Lets go.
Copy !req
1175. Wait a minute!
Copy !req
1176. Ernest!
Copy !req
1177. Oh, Bobby!
Copy !req
1178. Did you charge Ernest?
Copy !req
1179. Nein!
Copy !req
1180. Ach der lieber!
Copy !req
1181. Ernest!
Copy !req
1182. Hey,
who's that in our uniforms?
Copy !req
1183. What
are they doing out there?
Copy !req
1184. What's going on?
Copy !req
1185. 37.
Copy !req
1186. 21.
Copy !req
1187. 39.
Copy !req
1188. Pi to the ninth, pi to the
ninth, pi to the ninth.
Copy !req
1189. Heba-dee.
Copy !req
1190. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1191. I got him!
Copy !req
1192. I got him!
Copy !req
1193. Hey, Ernest!
Copy !req
1194. Ernest!
Copy !req
1195. Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Copy !req
1196. Ow yeah!
Copy !req
1197. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
1198. Come on baby!
Copy !req
1199. Come on, do it!
Copy !req
1200. You
can make it, Ernest!
Copy !req
1201. You're almost there!
Copy !req
1202. You can make it!
Copy !req
1203. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1204. I got it!
I got it!
Copy !req
1205. Come on, come on!
Copy !req
1206. Right here, right
here, right here!
Copy !req
1207. I got it!
Copy !req
1208. I got it!
Copy !req
1209. The Muskrats win!
Copy !req
1210. The Muskrats win!
Copy !req
1211. They're the new
district champions!
Copy !req
1212. Yes!
Yes!
Copy !req
1213. Yes!
Copy !req
1214. Get him off of there!
Copy !req
1215. Get the cops!
Copy !req
1216. Get the
Copy !req
1217. Yay!
Copy !req
1218. And that's exactly why, hey!
Copy !req
1219. I heard you trying to
sell us out, you dipstick!
Copy !req
1220. I don't know what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
1221. I never thought
you'd go that far.
Copy !req
1222. Listen, I can explain.
Copy !req
1223. Everything I've done, I did
it for the good of the school
Copy !req
1224. system as a whole.
Copy !req
1225. That is your opinion.
Copy !req
1226. But I think you,
along with your buddy
Copy !req
1227. Decker, will be out
looking for new jobs
Copy !req
1228. once I tell the school board
what you've been up to.
Copy !req
1229. No!
Copy !req
1230. Don't do that.
Copy !req
1231. We can work something out.
Copy !req
1232. I mean—
Copy !req
1233. a
school that produces champions
Copy !req
1234. isn't the kind of school
any enlightened person
Copy !req
1235. would think about closing.
Copy !req
1236. You, you mean—
Copy !req
1237. Chickasaw Falls
will stay open.
Copy !req
1238. So you actually
passed the big test?
Copy !req
1239. Unbelievable.
Copy !req
1240. Yeah, Ernest.
Copy !req
1241. By Friday night you'll be
a high school graduate.
Copy !req
1242. Didn't doubt you
for a second, pal.
Copy !req
1243. (NORMAL VOICE) Well
you guys were a big help.
Copy !req
1244. Thanks a lot.
Copy !req
1245. But you know?
Copy !req
1246. I think I had it
in me all along.
Copy !req
1247. Ernest?
Copy !req
1248. (WHISPERING) Good luck, buddy.
Copy !req
1249. Come on!
Copy !req
1250. Ernest, I just
came by to say how
Copy !req
1251. proud I am of you for
finally getting that diploma.
Copy !req
1252. Good for you.
Copy !req
1253. Well I couldn't have done
it without you, Miss Flugal.
Copy !req
1254. Oh I, I made you something.
Copy !req
1255. Oh!
Copy !req
1256. It's a music box.
Copy !req
1257. Ernest, how sweet!
Copy !req
1258. You made that for me?
Copy !req
1259. (QUIETLY) Listen.
Copy !req
1260. Hmm.
Copy !req
1261. Once again, the right
tool for the right job.
Copy !req
1262. Know what I mean?
Copy !req
1263. Hail to the Muskrats.
Copy !req
1264. The brave avenger Muskrats.
Copy !req
1265. Hail to the Muskrats!
Copy !req
1266. They do what all
they do for Muskrats.
Copy !req
1267. Cheer for the Muskrats,
we're for the Muskrats!
Copy !req
1268. Hail to the Muskrats.
Copy !req
1269. Those fuzzy mighty Muskrats.
Copy !req
1270. Hail to the Muskrats, those
mangy, beaten, marvel Muskrats.
Copy !req
1271. One day the Muskrats prevail.
Copy !req