1. This is the story
of four orphans brought together by fate.Copy !req
2. They didn't know it yet...Copy !req
3. but there was something greater
in store for them...Copy !req
4. something epic.Copy !req
5. Meet our first orphan - Lucy.Copy !req
6. She had been raised by
a kindly old museum curator.Copy !req
7. - But alas...
- Ohh!Copy !req
8. He was murdered.Copy !req
9. Ow.Copy !req
10. Oh, please don't die.Copy !req
11. Please don't die. You're all I have.Copy !req
12. You're on my hand.Copy !req
13. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
14. It's a code.Copy !req
15. But what is it?Copy !req
16. Oh, my God! Oh, God!
The code! Please! Give me another clue!Copy !req
17. I didn't read the book on tape.Copy !req
18. Habeas corpus.
E pluribus unum.Copy !req
19. God.
Um, the code, please.Copy !req
20. Your body is in the shape of a letter.
Is it the letter "D"?Copy !req
21. Please! Please!Copy !req
22. Um, that's an "A"!Copy !req
23. It's "V"! "V"! Uh, "I"! "I"!Copy !req
24. Um, "N"!Copy !req
25. Uh... Um...Copy !req
26. Um, "I"...Copy !req
27. Oh! "C"! "C"!
"I - C"!Copy !req
28. "I"! "I."
Da - Da - Da - Da Vinci!Copy !req
29. Right!Copy !req
30. Oh, God. Oh.Copy !req
31. Oh.Copy !req
32. "So lame the hair of Tom."Copy !req
33. Wait. "Lame."Copy !req
34. "Lame" is a...Copy !req
35. "Lame" is a seven-letter word.Copy !req
36. The code is seven!
Right!Copy !req
37. Oh, thank...Copy !req
38. Right.Copy !req
39. Then there was our next orphan, Edward.Copy !req
40. He was living in a Mexican monastery
with all the other children.Copy !req
41. I'm not eating that.Copy !req
42. Be grateful, Eduardo.Copy !req
43. Today I made something especially scrumptious.Copy !req
44. Nacho!Copy !req
45. Nacho!Copy !req
46. Nacho!Copy !req
47. Nacho...Copy !req
48. Nacho...Copy !req
49. cheese flavored Doritos are delicious!Copy !req
50. I'm sick of this!Copy !req
51. I'm going to be
a lucha libre wrestler.Copy !req
52. You think you are better than the other orphans?Copy !req
53. - Yes.
- Chanchito!Copy !req
54. Come.
Teach him a lesson in humility.Copy !req
55. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
56. You like the flavor
of the beans going up your nose?Copy !req
57. Just take his arm and spin it around!Copy !req
58. Chanchito, throw him off the table.Copy !req
59. Sweet!Copy !req
60. And stay out, cabrón!Copy !req
61. Our next orphan, Susan...Copy !req
62. was on her way to Namibia
to meet her new adoptive parents.Copy !req
63. - Can I get you a cocktail?
- Just some water.Copy !req
64. Okay.
What can I get you to drink?Copy !req
65. More juice, please.Copy !req
66. I chose the wrong day to fly!Copy !req
67. Enough is enough!Copy !req
68. I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!Copy !req
69. - So have I!
- Enough is enough!Copy !req
70. I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!Copy !req
71. - Right!
- I've had it...Copy !req
72. with these motherfuckin' snakes
on this motherfuckin' plane!Copy !req
73. Why do you keep saying that?Copy !req
74. Because Internet bloggers love it when I say...Copy !req
75. I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!Copy !req
76. All right.
We get it already. Okay?Copy !req
77. No, I don't think you do!Copy !req
78. I've had it with these motherfuckin'
snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!Copy !req
79. - Why are you yelling?
- Shit, bitch, I'm always yellin'!Copy !req
80. I'm Samuel motherfuckin' Jackson!Copy !req
81. Bitch?Copy !req
82. - The designer understands these things.
- Darling, you look great.Copy !req
83. I'm so hot.Copy !req
84. Yes!Copy !req
85. And finally...Copy !req
86. our last orphan, Peter.Copy !req
87. He made his home among
the undesirables of society - The mutants.Copy !req
88. But even there he was an outcast.Copy !req
89. Hi, Mystique.
Hi, L. C.Copy !req
90. Right, um, so, anyway, I was wondering...Copy !req
91. would you like to come
to the homecoming dance with me?Copy !req
92. As if.Copy !req
93. Nice hair, Rogue.Copy !req
94. You talkin' to my girl...Copy !req
95. numbnuts?Copy !req
96. Asshole.Copy !req
97. - Fight. Fight. Fight.
- Fight! Fight!Copy !req
98. What are you gonna do about it?Copy !req
99. He's unleashing his powers!Copy !req
100. He's gonna spread angel wings!Copy !req
101. More like chicken wings!Copy !req
102. Break it up.
Break it up.Copy !req
103. You all know Peter is too much
of a pussy to stand up for himself.Copy !req
104. Aah!Copy !req
105. And for these four orphans...Copy !req
106. life would never be the same.Copy !req
107. Gross.Copy !req
108. Welcome.Copy !req
109. You must be Susan.Copy !req
110. And you... are Peter.Copy !req
111. And you're Edward.Copy !req
112. And you...Copy !req
113. You're Lucy.Copy !req
114. I've been expecting you.Copy !req
115. So, come on!Copy !req
116. Ooh!Copy !req
117. I love your legendary candy.Copy !req
118. A chocolate river!Copy !req
119. Mmm!Copy !req
120. It's delicious!Copy !req
121. It's so delicious!Copy !req
122. Yea!Copy !req
123. Chocolate!Copy !req
124. That's, uh...Copy !req
125. - That's actually the sewer line. Yeah.
- It's delic -Copy !req
126. Children, do you want to know...Copy !req
127. what makes all my candy taste so special?Copy !req
128. Uh... Huh.Copy !req
129. It's a special, secret ingredient.Copy !req
130. It's real human parts.Copy !req
131. There's gonna be a little
itty-bitty piece of each and every one of you...Copy !req
132. inside of the Yummy Yum candy... literally.Copy !req
133. I'm gettin' out of here.Copy !req
134. Let us out, freak!Copy !req
135. Let us out, freak!Copy !req
136. No, no.
I can't do that.Copy !req
137. - Yes, you can.
- Yes, you can.Copy !req
138. You're... mine now.Copy !req
139. Aah!Copy !req
140. Aah!Copy !req
141. Stop! Let me go!Copy !req
142. Ow!Copy !req
143. Aah!Copy !req
144. What are you doing?Copy !req
145. - Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
- Dumb-ass.Copy !req
146. We've gotta get out of here.Copy !req
147. - We gotta get out of here.
- I just said that.Copy !req
148. You just said that.Copy !req
149. Where are we gonna go?
I don't have a home to go back to.Copy !req
150. I thought this golden ticket
was my lucky break.Copy !req
151. The curator was all I had.Copy !req
152. I never had anyone.
I raised myself.Copy !req
153. And that's why you have such a tough exterior?Copy !req
154. Yeah.Copy !req
155. And you're kinda bitchy.Copy !req
156. - Why us?
- Because we're four kids nobody would ever miss.Copy !req
157. We'll be stuck here till we die.Copy !req
158. Shut up, Edward.
You're scaring her.Copy !req
159. Don't tell me what to do!
You're not my father!Copy !req
160. - Two for flinching.
- Oww! Aah!Copy !req
161. Leave Peter alone.
He was just sticking up for her.Copy !req
162. I can take care of myself.Copy !req
163. Like it or not, we're all in this.Copy !req
164. It's obvious we don't like each other,
but if we're going to survive...Copy !req
165. we have to stick together.Copy !req
166. Aah!Copy !req
167. - Ow.
- Was the fight over?Copy !req
168. I didn't know.Copy !req
169. - Hey!
- Shh! Someone's coming.Copy !req
170. Who wants to chew my gum balls?Copy !req
171. It's Willy. Hide!Copy !req
172. Where are you?Copy !req
173. I'm gonna find you.Copy !req
174. Wow.Copy !req
175. Wow.Copy !req
176. Ooh! Oh.Copy !req
177. Ooh.Copy !req
178. Ooh.Copy !req
179. It's stuck.
It's... It's stuck.Copy !req
180. It's... It's stuck.Copy !req
181. You can do it!Copy !req
182. My tongue!Copy !req
183. My ba-a-a-a-ad.Copy !req
184. Where am I?Copy !req
185. The world of Gnarnia.Copy !req
186. Oh!Copy !req
187. A silent "G," as in "gnome."Copy !req
188. Or "gnarly."Copy !req
189. - For legal purposes.
- Mm-Hmm.Copy !req
190. - I'm Mr. Tumnus.
- Oh, my name is Lucy.Copy !req
191. What are you?Copy !req
192. I'm a faun.
Half man, half goat.Copy !req
193. - Oh, so you mean...
- Yeah. Dad screwed a goat.Copy !req
194. These are my folks.Copy !req
195. Oh!Copy !req
196. - You have her goatee.
- Thanks.Copy !req
197. - And you?
- Oh. No.Copy !req
198. Both of my parents are human.Copy !req
199. Eew. Gr-o-o-ss!Copy !req
200. Aah. No. Yeah.Copy !req
201. So, you are a daughter of Eve, huh?Copy !req
202. Uh huh.Copy !req
203. How rude of me.
Let me show you around.Copy !req
204. Oh. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
205. I... I...Copy !req
206. Welcome to my faun crib.Copy !req
207. Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
208. Let's see what's in the fridge.Copy !req
209. Ooh!
Always gotta have Cristal.Copy !req
210. For when Diddy's in the house.
Yo, Diddy!Copy !req
211. Say "What's up?" to the honeys.Copy !req
212. Check out my plasma.Copy !req
213. Say hello to my little friend!Copy !req
214. Wanna play us?
Okay. Let's play.Copy !req
215. Scarface is the shit!Copy !req
216. I'm Tony Fauntana!Copy !req
217. You mess with me,
you're messing with the best!Copy !req
218. You ain't a true player unless
you got flat screens everywhere.Copy !req
219. In the toilet, when I'm taking a leak.Copy !req
220. Say hello to my little friend!Copy !req
221. Wanna play us?
Okay, let's play!Copy !req
222. This is my favorite part.Copy !req
223. Whew!Copy !req
224. Under the couch for when
I'm looking for change.Copy !req
225. Boo - Yah!
Ch - Ch - Ch - Ch - Ch - Ching!Copy !req
226. On the top of her head for when she, you know...Copy !req
227. shines my hooves.Copy !req
228. So now you all seen my crib.Copy !req
229. So get the hell out!Copy !req
230. Well, I really should be getting back.Copy !req
231. No, but you, um, must stay.Copy !req
232. Oh, Mr. Tumnus, I'll never forget you.Copy !req
233. Please take this to remember me by.Copy !req
234. And I you.Copy !req
235. I'm sorry.Copy !req
236. Lucy...Copy !req
237. you are in danger.Copy !req
238. - What are you...
- You must go now.Copy !req
239. Oh! What's wrong?Copy !req
240. Take this.
It will explain everything.Copy !req
241. Confirm identification.Copy !req
242. My eyes! My...Copy !req
243. Oh.Copy !req
244. Well, that's better than LASIK.Copy !req
245. The evil White Bitch who rules Gnarnia...Copy !req
246. has ordered anyone
who finds a human to turn them in.Copy !req
247. I brought you ba-a-a-ack
to my lair to betray you...Copy !req
248. but I couldn't do it.Copy !req
249. You are a true friend.Copy !req
250. She has plunged our
once-peaceful land into eternal winter.Copy !req
251. Under her two terms, we now have...Copy !req
252. wiretaps, no gay marriage...Copy !req
253. not to mention her bumbling
of the hurricane relief effort.Copy !req
254. And... And the White Bitch
doesn't care about black people.Copy !req
255. There is a small resistance movement.Copy !req
256. They learned she's developing
a weapon of mass destruction...Copy !req
257. that can kill all of us.Copy !req
258. Wait, a real W.M.D.,
or, like, a fake Saddam one?Copy !req
259. No, a real one.Copy !req
260. That sounds bad.Copy !req
261. Go now, before she finds you.Copy !req
262. - But...
- There's no time to argue.Copy !req
263. Go no-o-o-o-ow!Copy !req
264. This message
will self-destruct in one second.Copy !req
265. Wait... What?Copy !req
266. Come out, come out,
wherever you are.Copy !req
267. - Lucy?
- Who wants to play with Willy?Copy !req
268. Lucy, move over.
I need someplace to hide.Copy !req
269. Lucy. Lu...Copy !req
270. Who lives here?
Liberace?Copy !req
271. Aah!Copy !req
272. This is a really big wardrobe.Copy !req
273. What a MI LF.Copy !req
274. Kneel before the queen!Copy !req
275. You're a son of Adam.Copy !req
276. A what?
No, I'm Edward.Copy !req
277. I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
I...Copy !req
278. - I was following Lucy into the wardrobe and...
- Lucy?Copy !req
279. - How many are in your family?
- No.Copy !req
280. Lucy, Peter and Susan are not my family.Copy !req
281. We're all just a bunch of orphans.Copy !req
282. The prophecy!Copy !req
283. Please.Copy !req
284. Let me help you up.Copy !req
285. Wow.Copy !req
286. - Oh, you must be parched.
- Yes.Copy !req
287. Whoa.Copy !req
288. Wow. A 40?Copy !req
289. - Ah.
- Drink.Copy !req
290. Fresh dog piss.
Go ahead.Copy !req
291. Yeah!Copy !req
292. I love this place.Copy !req
293. And this can all be your new home.Copy !req
294. With my help, you can be king.Copy !req
295. Wha... What? King?Copy !req
296. He can't be king...
Oww!Copy !req
297. And you would be my queen?Copy !req
298. I've never had a girlfriend before.Copy !req
299. Oh!Copy !req
300. Ah!Copy !req
301. How about that?Copy !req
302. Oh, but first I must meet the others.Copy !req
303. Why? You're not gonna make
Peter king too, are you?Copy !req
304. Oh! No.Copy !req
305. But every king
needs subjects to boss around.Copy !req
306. But, Your Majesty...Copy !req
307. Behold, my white castle.Copy !req
308. White Castle?Copy !req
309. I feel like I've been there before.Copy !req
310. Bring me the others,
and I'll crown you king.Copy !req
311. Yes!Copy !req
312. Lucy?Copy !req
313. Edward!Copy !req
314. You went through the wardrobe too.Copy !req
315. - Lucy!
- Lucy!Copy !req
316. - Edward!
- Edward?Copy !req
317. This is quite a hiding place.Copy !req
318. We have to go now.
We're in grave danger.Copy !req
319. Oh, no, no. We should stay right here.
What's the hurry, Lucy?Copy !req
320. I mean, they just got here.Copy !req
321. Hey, look!
I'm spelling my name!Copy !req
322. - Mm-Mmm.
- Please!Copy !req
323. We have to go.
Mr. Tumnus told me.Copy !req
324. Mr. Tumnus?
Who the bloody hell's that?Copy !req
325. I love Sudoku!Copy !req
326. He's a goat-man...Copy !req
327. and he warned of great peril!Copy !req
328. - Oh, Lucy.
- Fine!Copy !req
329. If you think I'm lying,
just go ask him yourself!Copy !req
330. Hmph.Copy !req
331. This is gonna be harder than I thought.Copy !req
332. Hey, look!
Nicole Richie!Copy !req
333. Mm-Mmm.Copy !req
334. Mr. Tumnus?Copy !req
335. Shit.
I know what happened.Copy !req
336. - What the hell is that thing?
- It's a talking beaver!Copy !req
337. - Holy shit!
- Get it outta here!Copy !req
338. No!
Motherf...Copy !req
339. Something in my groin tells me
you're not used to a talking beaver.Copy !req
340. My name is Harry Beaver.Copy !req
341. Mr. Tumnus is my life partner.Copy !req
342. Mmm. Sweet man.Copy !req
343. Mr. Tumnus was taken by the White Bitch.Copy !req
344. She's hot...
I mean, never heard of her.Copy !req
345. The evil ruler. She arrested
Mr. Tumnus for hiding a human.Copy !req
346. Is there anything we can do to help?Copy !req
347. Uh, yes.
You must go to Aslo.Copy !req
348. He's waiting for you at the Ancient Table.Copy !req
349. - Who's Aslo?
- Who's Aslo?Copy !req
350. He's the true king of Gnarnia.Copy !req
351. - Not for long.
- Hello? The prophecy?Copy !req
352. The four of you will join Aslo and
lead the resistance to destroy the White Bitch.Copy !req
353. - Us?
- Yes. You're all heroes.Copy !req
354. Especially you, Peter.Copy !req
355. My son, have sent you to Earth for a reason.Copy !req
356. You will be the savior of all mankind.Copy !req
357. You are truly invincible.Copy !req
358. Oh, my God! You shot me in the fucking eye!
That really hurts!Copy !req
359. Why would you do that?
That was so unnecessary! You bastard!Copy !req
360. But I can't be.
"But I can't be." Why him?Copy !req
361. Well, maybe not Superman,
but a hero all the same.Copy !req
362. It's your destiny.Copy !req
363. Do you think you were
all brought together by chance?Copy !req
364. Look at the clues.
They're all around you.Copy !req
365. Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
366. We're all in the painting.Copy !req
367. But what does it mean?Copy !req
368. LOOK ON THE TABLE FIRECROTCH!Copy !req
369. Right.Copy !req
370. It's a "cryptix."Copy !req
371. The curator taught me how to decipher these.Copy !req
372. Upsy-daisy.Copy !req
373. GET CRUNK!Copy !req
374. Be careful.Copy !req
375. Well, what is it?Copy !req
376. It's our birth certificates.Copy !req
377. We all have the same last name
and the same parents.Copy !req
378. - I don't get it.
- You're all related!Copy !req
379. Brothers and sisters.Copy !req
380. You're a family, for Christ sakes!Copy !req
381. - Sorry.
- Is it really true?Copy !req
382. None of us ever had a real family before.Copy !req
383. None of us ever had a real family before.Copy !req
384. It's true.
You're quadruplets.Copy !req
385. - But our parents...
- Killed by the White Bitch.Copy !req
386. Then she separated the four of you
so the prophecy would never be fulfilled.Copy !req
387. Where's Edward?Copy !req
388. Hey, honey, I'm home.Copy !req
389. Hey, buddy.
Did you miss me?Copy !req
390. Ohh!Copy !req
391. - Why?
- 'Cause I ain't your buddy!Copy !req
392. Where are the others?Copy !req
393. I thought we had something special.Copy !req
394. I even got a tattoo with your name on it.Copy !req
395. That looks more like
50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.Copy !req
396. Shit!
They did the wrong one.Copy !req
397. I won't ask again.
Where is the rest of your family?Copy !req
398. I told you, they're not my family.Copy !req
399. Tell me where they are.Copy !req
400. Never.Copy !req
401. Yeah, they went to Mr. Tumnus's house.Copy !req
402. Yes! Yes!
You just got punk'd! Yes!Copy !req
403. He did it!
He did it!Copy !req
404. Say it to the camera.
Come on, say it right there.Copy !req
405. - Say it!
- I just got punk'd.Copy !req
406. Schwow! Yeah!Copy !req
407. We just punk'd Edward!
Schwow! Schwow! Yeah!Copy !req
408. That was awesome!
Yeah! Yes!Copy !req
409. This thing up here is all me, baby!Copy !req
410. The trucker hat...
That's awesome!Copy !req
411. I did it. You love it.
You'll take it. Punk'd 'im!Copy !req
412. - That was really funny! Oh, my gosh! Too funny!
- You are so annoying!Copy !req
413. No, that was really funny though!Copy !req
414. Schwow! Schwow! Schwow!
Schwow! Schwow!Copy !req
415. Candy-ass trucker hat!Copy !req
416. Schwow. Schwow.Copy !req
417. Silas!Copy !req
418. The kids are with Mr. Tumnus.Copy !req
419. I want you to find them and kill them.Copy !req
420. Persona non grata.
Magna cum laude.Copy !req
421. Urts-hay Oh-say Ood-gay!
Ooh!Copy !req
422. Ood-gay.Copy !req
423. Ooh.Copy !req
424. No. No!Copy !req
425. - Here. You goin' to prison.
- Ow! Dude!Copy !req
426. - Edward!
- Edward! - Edward!Copy !req
427. - Edward!
- Mr. Tumnus!Copy !req
428. I miss the smell of you, Harry Beaver.Copy !req
429. Eew.Copy !req
430. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
431. The White Bitch did this to you?
Shit!Copy !req
432. And now she has Edward.Copy !req
433. - We must rescue hi...
- Get ahold of yourself, Lucy!Copy !req
434. - Holy...
- It's too dangerous.Copy !req
435. If she catch you,
you are as good as dead.Copy !req
436. Um, that's me.Copy !req
437. "The resistance has found out..."Copy !req
438. "... that the White Bitch has completed
her weapon of mass destruction..."Copy !req
439. "... and is going to launch it in 24 hours."Copy !req
440. Let's get the hell out of here!Copy !req
441. Aslo is the only one that can help now.Copy !req
442. Then take us to him.Copy !req
443. What'd you do that for?Copy !req
444. I forgot.Copy !req
445. Before you meet Aslo, you must train.Copy !req
446. Only then you can defeat the White Bitch...Copy !req
447. and save your brother.Copy !req
448. I'll meet you at Aslo's.
May the Force be with you.Copy !req
449. Someone's coming.
The bitch is on to you. You must go now.Copy !req
450. There you will train.Copy !req
451. Go!Copy !req
452. Mr. Tumnus?Copy !req
453. I will stay behind and fight him off.Copy !req
454. No matter what,
you must not come back for me.Copy !req
455. - Yep.
- Yi - Yi - Yi - Yi - Yi!Copy !req
456. Run!Copy !req
457. Stop!Copy !req
458. If you want them,
you'll have to go through me first.Copy !req
459. Please! Help!Copy !req
460. He needs our help!Copy !req
461. - Help!
- No, Susan, Lucy.Copy !req
462. He... wants us to go on.Copy !req
463. He sacrificed himself for us.Copy !req
464. Peter, if you can hear me...Copy !req
465. come back now!Copy !req
466. I definitely underestimated the situation.Copy !req
467. I'm in a lot of pain!Copy !req
468. What should we do?Copy !req
469. Uh, we can't go back.
We have to...Copy !req
470. - We have to do what's best for Edward and for Gnarnia.
- Screw Gnarnia!Copy !req
471. He's testing us.Copy !req
472. This is not a test!
I can see my brains!Copy !req
473. Et tu, Brute?Copy !req
474. Welcome!
My name is Harry Potter!Copy !req
475. Aren't you a little old
to still be a student here?Copy !req
476. Nonsense.
I am but 14.Copy !req
477. As are my two best friends, Ron and Hermione.Copy !req
478. Greetings.Copy !req
479. Hope you chicks are on the pill.Copy !req
480. Harry likes to get wasted...Copy !req
481. then show off his sorcerer's stones.Copy !req
482. They are definitely too old
to still be doing this shit.Copy !req
483. We shall train you
so you can defeat the White Bitch...Copy !req
484. and restore peace to Gnarnia.Copy !req
485. We'll show you everything we know,
like how to use...Copy !req
486. the invisibility cloak.Copy !req
487. Oh, no!
I'm completely invisible!Copy !req
488. Where am I?
Who's that?Copy !req
489. - Where am I? I could be anywhere.
- Harry. Harry!Copy !req
490. Where am I?Copy !req
491. Step off, Potter!Copy !req
492. Right.
Wrong cloak.Copy !req
493. Let the training montage begin!Copy !req
494. Cue inspirational music.Copy !req
495. Blame the cloak.Copy !req
496. - Get your hips nice and square.
- Okay, uh...Copy !req
497. - All right. I'll set it up for you.
- Okay.Copy !req
498. - You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.Copy !req
499. Ipso facto "patrolo!"Copy !req
500. Oh! Yeah!Copy !req
501. Confront your fear!Copy !req
502. Do not cower in the face of danger!Copy !req
503. Let nothing stand in the way of defeating your enemy!
Come on, Peter!Copy !req
504. Stop being such a little nancy boy!Copy !req
505. Schoolgirl! Pussy!
Chicken!Copy !req
506. Congratulations, Peter.
Your training is now complete.Copy !req
507. - You are now ready to meet Aslo.
- Yes!Copy !req
508. This crystal will finally
put an end to the resistance.Copy !req
509. I will start a series of earthquakes...Copy !req
510. that will collapse all of Gnarnia...Copy !req
511. and grow a new continent...Copy !req
512. where only I and my followers will live.Copy !req
513. Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much
the plot of Superman Returns.Copy !req
514. Pretty much, yeah.Copy !req
515. It's an I. M. From Silas.Copy !req
516. "The... keeds..."Copy !req
517. "have..."Copy !req
518. "esca-puh-duh."Copy !req
519. "Escap-puh-duh."Copy !req
520. "The keeds have esca-puh-duh."Copy !req
521. The kids have escaped!Copy !req
522. Duh!Copy !req
523. I've got to catch and kill those children
before they ruin everything.Copy !req
524. See what else Edward knows.Copy !req
525. Let me out!Copy !req
526. Oh, I gotta get outta here.Copy !req
527. I'm never gonna see my family again.Copy !req
528. I'll get you out of here, mate.Copy !req
529. Captain Morgan!
I love your rum!Copy !req
530. No!
Captain Jack Swallows.Copy !req
531. At your service.Copy !req
532. Jack Swallows?Copy !req
533. That's kinda gay, dude.Copy !req
534. Mmm.Copy !req
535. I believe in your quest, son,
and I'll reunite you with your family.Copy !req
536. I've got a ship waiting for us.Copy !req
537. Shh.Copy !req
538. How are we gonna get out of here?Copy !req
539. Ah!Copy !req
540. Man down! Man down!Copy !req
541. I could have faked it!Copy !req
542. Quick!
He needs your help!Copy !req
543. Come, come!
We haven't got all day!Copy !req
544. Mmm!Copy !req
545. Wow!
A real pirate ship!Copy !req
546. Peter, Lucy and Susan won't believe this.Copy !req
547. Hey, this is awesome.
What's it like being a pirate?Copy !req
548. Yo-ho, Ed, let me break it down for you.Copy !req
549. Word to the Kraken!Copy !req
550. Time is winding, old boy.Copy !req
551. So where's your family, eh?Copy !req
552. They're on their way
to the Ancient Tables to meet Aslo...Copy !req
553. where he's assembled the resistance.Copy !req
554. Interesting.Copy !req
555. God, you're easy.Copy !req
556. Thanks, love.
Oh, my.Copy !req
557. Wait. So this whole thing was a setup
just to get information out of me?Copy !req
558. Sorry, mate.
This isn't even a working pirate ship. Savvy?Copy !req
559. - Oh, shit!
- It was nice doin' business with you, love.Copy !req
560. Bugger!Copy !req
561. I'll get you for this...Copy !req
562. You... you...Copy !req
563. You... bitch.Copy !req
564. I always hated you,
Captain Jack Swallows.Copy !req
565. You think I like wearin' this funny-lookin' hat?
I'll roast your nuts!Copy !req
566. So...Copy !req
567. your family's going to Aslo.Copy !req
568. Summon the troops.Copy !req
569. If it's a war they want...Copy !req
570. it's a war they will get.Copy !req
571. Let's start things off with a bang, shall we?Copy !req
572. - But you'll kill millions.
- Billions.Copy !req
573. Come on.
Let me hear you say it.Copy !req
574. - My family will stop you!
- Wrong!Copy !req
575. Ooh!Copy !req
576. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.Copy !req
577. Oh! Ooh!Copy !req
578. Oh! Ooh!Copy !req
579. Damn that Superman plot!Copy !req
580. My name Borat.Copy !req
581. This my country of Gnarnia.
Is nice!Copy !req
582. She is my sister.Copy !req
583. She is number four faun prostitute
in all of Gnarnia.Copy !req
584. Nice!Copy !req
585. Aslo?Copy !req
586. Mmm!Copy !req
587. Where you goin', doll face?
I just took my Cialis.Copy !req
588. Screw you, Aslo!Copy !req
589. Ah, thanks a lot.Copy !req
590. You're Aslo the Lion?Copy !req
591. Li-man... half lion, half man.Copy !req
592. - So you mean you're...
- My father Siegfried boinked a lion.Copy !req
593. But, you know,
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.Copy !req
594. Let me guess. The prophecy family.Copy !req
595. Uh-huh.
We've come a long way.Copy !req
596. Whatever.
You're missing one.Copy !req
597. - Yes, our brother Edward.
- Yes, our brother Edward.Copy !req
598. He betrayed you, went to the White Bitch.Copy !req
599. - Well, it wasn't his fault.
- Yada yada yada.Copy !req
600. - But the prophecy says...
- "But the prophecy, the prophecy."Copy !req
601. Fine.
I'll help you get Edward back.Copy !req
602. - Oh!
- Mmm!Copy !req
603. But there's something
you've got to do for me.Copy !req
604. What are you in here for, Mel?Copy !req
605. You know.Copy !req
606. Glug, glug.
Vroom, vroom.Copy !req
607. Whoo!Copy !req
608. Listen, sugar tits.Copy !req
609. F.Y.I.
I like to sleep in the buff.Copy !req
610. Wow.Copy !req
611. Yeah.Copy !req
612. - That was spectacular.
- My butt's sore.Copy !req
613. Uh-oh!Copy !req
614. Dutch oven!Copy !req
615. Ooh!Copy !req
616. It's Aslo!Copy !req
617. In nomine Patris, et Filii,
et Spiritus Sancti.Copy !req
618. Huh?Copy !req
619. Come on, kids.Copy !req
620. Peter? Lucy! Susan!Copy !req
621. Oh, you guys, I've been such a prick.
Won't you ever forgive me?Copy !req
622. We already have.Copy !req
623. - We're a family now.
- We're a family now.Copy !req
624. I like the sound of that.Copy !req
625. - I love you guys.
- Oh, have your Dr. Phil moment later.Copy !req
626. - Now get out of here!
- Go, go, go.Copy !req
627. Good-bye, Aslo.Copy !req
628. What?
What's wrong?Copy !req
629. He didn't make it.Copy !req
630. Oh, shit! A talking beaver!Copy !req
631. Wait!Copy !req
632. Oh, it's hard out here for a beaver.Copy !req
633. You forgetful bitch!
I already met you.Copy !req
634. I know. Yeah.Copy !req
635. Aslo never came back.
The White Bitch killed him.Copy !req
636. And it gets worse.Copy !req
637. It's over.Copy !req
638. The White Bitch
will surely rule forever.Copy !req
639. But we have you. You will lead us.Copy !req
640. You're the future kings and queens of Gnarnia.Copy !req
641. It will be an honor
to fight for you, my lords.Copy !req
642. We'll fight for you.Copy !req
643. And so will we.Copy !req
644. We'll stand behind you, Peter.Copy !req
645. That bitch has threatened
our mutant way of life for too long.Copy !req
646. We believe in you.Copy !req
647. Tomorrow, we fight.Copy !req
648. So tonight, we party!Copy !req
649. Hello, Gnarnia!
Are you ready for rock and roll?Copy !req
650. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
651. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
652. Yeah!Copy !req
653. Yeah!Copy !req
654. You're up, Sis.Copy !req
655. Uh-uh.
I like to keep a clear head.Copy !req
656. Come on. Loosen up for once.
You wanna...Copy !req
657. You wanna, you know,
get your swerve on, like this.Copy !req
658. Like that. And then...Copy !req
659. No. Why?
What's the worst that could happen?Copy !req
660. - Maybe just one.
- All right.Copy !req
661. - Whoo-hoo!
- Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
662. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
663. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
664. Hi.Copy !req
665. Hi.Copy !req
666. So, you're gonna be the king of Gnarnia?Copy !req
667. - That's what they say.
- Mmm.Copy !req
668. I think that's so hot.Copy !req
669. Why don't we get out of here.Copy !req
670. Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
671. Chug it!Copy !req
672. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
673. I'm okay.Copy !req
674. You're good?Copy !req
675. - Hmm?
- I'm okay.Copy !req
676. Oh!Copy !req
677. Oh.Copy !req
678. - You know, I've got special powers.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
679. I'm a shape-changer.Copy !req
680. I can change my form into anything.Copy !req
681. What do you like?Copy !req
682. Uh...Copy !req
683. Big hooters with silver dollar nipples?Copy !req
684. All right.Copy !req
685. And a ghetto booty.Copy !req
686. Like...
Like a lot of junk in the trunk, say.Copy !req
687. Kinky. Mmm.Copy !req
688. Badonkadonk.Copy !req
689. - And a mono-brow!
- Come again?Copy !req
690. Mono-brow! Mono-brow!
King wants a mono-brow!Copy !req
691. Okay, okay.Copy !req
692. And big, flabby grandma arms.Copy !req
693. Oh!Copy !req
694. Bingo wings, like a fat, blue Britney Spears.Copy !req
695. Oh, that's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
696. Come here!Copy !req
697. Where is everybody?Copy !req
698. I don't know. Maybe it had something to do
with Susan puking on everyone last night.Copy !req
699. We seem to be outnumbered.Copy !req
700. No.Copy !req
701. I'm not running anymore.Copy !req
702. Ow!Copy !req
703. Oh!Copy !req
704. We may not have the numbers on our side
or the weapons she possesses...Copy !req
705. but we have something far more powerful.Copy !req
706. Perky breasts?Copy !req
707. The strength of our family.Copy !req
708. I'd follow you anywhere, brother.Copy !req
709. Oh, my...Copy !req
710. Revenge is... mine!Copy !req
711. Jack Swallows!Copy !req
712. Payback is a bitch, White Bitch!Copy !req
713. You owe me your soul,
Jack Swallows, and it's time to pay up!Copy !req
714. Oh!
She's blinded me, matey!Copy !req
715. Oh, bugger!Copy !req
716. What a tool.Copy !req
717. Show them no mercy.Copy !req
718. Take that, Kumar!
Huh!Copy !req
719. No!Copy !req
720. Oh, yes.Copy !req
721. Yes, that's right.
Grovel.Copy !req
722. Just like your parents did
before I killed them.Copy !req
723. Wow.
Let's slow things down for a better look.Copy !req
724. Ah.Copy !req
725. Oh! Oh, dear.Copy !req
726. Oh, that's...
That... That is dis...Copy !req
727. Oh.Copy !req
728. Ooh!Copy !req
729. Let's get 'em!Copy !req
730. Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.Copy !req
731. It's the crystal!Copy !req
732. - We're all gonna die!
- We're all gonna die!Copy !req
733. Give me the remote control.Copy !req
734. Yes!Copy !req
735. No, stop.
We will not stoop to her level.Copy !req
736. I hate those fuckin' kids.Copy !req
737. The new Gnarnia will be a democracy...Copy !req
738. complete with due process.Copy !req
739. She shall be given a fair trial,
judged by a jury of her peers.Copy !req
740. Sorry, Bitch.Copy !req
741. Right.Copy !req
742. Oh, screw her anyway.Copy !req
743. Make a beaver a hole.
Get your butt out of my face.Copy !req
744. Hot, moist beaver comin' through.Copy !req
745. May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia!Copy !req
746. Peter the Heroic.Copy !req
747. Susan the Just.Copy !req
748. Edward the Loyal.Copy !req
749. And Lucy the Dumb Shit.Copy !req
750. All hail!Copy !req
751. And so it was that Peter, Susan, Edward and Lucy...Copy !req
752. restored peace to Gnarnia.Copy !req
753. They were orphans no more.
They were now a family.Copy !req
754. They ruled Gnarnia
for many years to come.Copy !req
755. That is, until they found
the wardrobe once again.Copy !req
756. Let's cross streams.Copy !req
757. There we go.Copy !req
758. Oops!
A little bit of blood.Copy !req
759. It's...Copy !req
760. - It's the wardrobe.
- It's been so long.Copy !req
761. It's been so long.Copy !req
762. Chuck Norris rules.Copy !req
763. We're young again!Copy !req
764. Jagshemash!Copy !req
765. You did it!
You make movie film have happy ending.Copy !req
766. Not!Copy !req
767. Oh, my...Copy !req
768. - Let us out, freak!
- No can do.Copy !req
769. I...Copy !req
770. No.
Captain Jack Swallows!Copy !req
771. Captain Jack Swallows!Copy !req
772. - Shit. Swallowing!
- Cut.Copy !req
773. No!
Captain Jack Swallows!Copy !req
774. Sorry.Copy !req
775. Wait. Can I ask you something about the sucking?Copy !req
776. Am I...Copy !req
777. Am I, like, sucking the chrome off,
or is it...Copy !req
778. - Yeah.
- I mean... Okay.Copy !req
779. Here we go.Copy !req
780. Oh! Hey!Copy !req
781. Mmm. Mmm!Copy !req
782. Well, guess what.Copy !req
783. - What?
- Guess what.Copy !req
784. First...Copy !req
785. Mi, mi, mi, mi,
mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi!Copy !req
786. When I'm makin' you stuff,
quit cryin' and eat it!Copy !req
787. Your mother ate it!
She liked it. It was fine.Copy !req
788. - Where did I hit him? I hit him on the head.
- Cut!Copy !req
789. Shit.Copy !req
790. We'll stand behind you, Peter.Copy !req
791. That bitch has threatened our way of life...Copy !req
792. Our mutant...
Shit. Sorry. Bollocks.Copy !req
793. She shall be given a fair trial...Copy !req
794. judged by a jury of her peers.Copy !req
795. We shall build a courthouse...Copy !req
796. with crushed velvet drapes and ample parking.Copy !req
797. I'm so hot.Copy !req
798. Oh, my gosh. I passed the yellow line.
I just don't see it.Copy !req
799. Li-man... half lion, half man.Copy !req
800. So you mean you're...Copy !req
801. My mom went to a party at Siegfried and Roy's.Copy !req
802. She got drunk,
and then it was her turn in the barrel.Copy !req
803. It's a brutal game.Copy !req
804. Justice shall reign supreme...Copy !req
805. even for elves and fauns...Copy !req
806. albinos and the Irish.Copy !req
807. - I saw stripes!
- No! Man!Copy !req
808. We shall revolutionize the health system.Copy !req
809. There will be no more teenage pregnancies...Copy !req
810. without my consent...Copy !req
811. and without their consent.Copy !req
812. I shouldn't have had sex with Shrek!Copy !req
813. Like it or not, we're all in...Copy !req
814. - You okay?
- No. But go ahead.Copy !req
815. - Like it or not, we're all in this.
- Like it or not...Copy !req
816. - Oh, I can't even do it now.
- Let's do it.Copy !req
817. Damn that Shrek!
He said he wasn't a carrier.Copy !req
818. Because, sweet tits,
we're four kids nobody would ever miss.Copy !req
819. We'll be stuck here
till we dizz-i rizz-i.Copy !req
820. Don't t-zelle me what to d-zoo!Copy !req
821. The White Bitch is no more.Copy !req
822. Now, we shall be queens.Copy !req
823. Last night, I had sex with a unicorn.
Nice!Copy !req
824. Hey, look.
It's Lindsay Lohan.Copy !req
825. I haven't got enough left for Roseanne.Copy !req
826. - Oh. So I was supposed to... I supposed to fall?
- Cut it.Copy !req
827. - It's supposed to hit me, right?
- Yes.Copy !req
828. - Ooh!
- Cut!Copy !req
829. Oh. But I need something about the others first.Copy !req
830. But first... Sorry. Give me your hand.Copy !req
831. Oh, no!Copy !req
832. But kings need to boss
their subject's ship-What's the line?Copy !req
833. Yes.Copy !req
834. Bring me the others, and I'll crown you the throne.
Shit. Crown you what?Copy !req
835. I'm big.
I got big balls.Copy !req
836. See Epic Movie...Copy !req
837. or drunk Mel Gibson will hurt me.Copy !req
838. Not!Copy !req
839. You.Copy !req
840. So now you all seen my crib.Copy !req
841. - So get the hell out.
- Oh!Copy !req
842. Edit Subtitle: Phuc DavidCopy !req