- 1. Snuggle in, sweetie.
It's cold out there.
- 2. Why is it snowing, Grandma?
- 3. Where does it come from?
- 4. Oh, that's a long story, sweetheart.
- 5. - I wanna hear.
- Oh, not tonight. Go to sleep.
- 6. I'm not sleepy. Tell me, please?
- 7. Well, all right.
- 8. Let's see.
- 9. I guess it would have to
start with scissors.
- 10. Scissors?
- 11. Well, there are
all kinds of scissors.
- 12. And once there was even a man
who had scissors for hands.
- 13. - A man?
- 14. Hands-scissors?
- 15. No. Scissorhands.
- 16. You know the mansion
on top of the mountain?
- 17. It's haunted.
- 18. Well...
- 19. a long time ago...
- 20. an inventor lived in that mansion.
- 21. He made many things, I suppose.
- 22. He also created a man.
- 23. He gave him insides—
- 24. a heart, a brain, everything.
- 25. Well, almost everything.
- 26. You see, the inventor was very old.
- 27. He died before he got to finish
the man he invented...
- 28. so the man was left by himself‒
- 29. incomplete and all alone.
- 30. He didn't have a name?
- 31. Of course he had a name.
- 32. His name was Edward.
- 33. - Avon calling!
- Weren't you just here?
- 34. No! Not since last season.
- 35. Today I've come to show you
our exquisite new line of softer colors...
- 36. in shadows, blushes and lipstick.
- 37. Everything you need to accent
and highlight your changing look.
- 38. My changing look. That's good.
- 39. Well, it goes without saying that I also have
a complete selection of your old favorites...
- 40. those tried-and-true products we've all
come to depend on year-in and year-out.
- 41. Come on, Peg. I never
buy anything from you. You know that.
- 42. - I know. Bye, Helen.
- 43. You didn't have to call, ma'am.
You could have taken care of this by yourself.
- 44. I could? I don't think so.
- 45. Yeah, it's easy.
Your food trap's clogged. That's all.
- 46. - You see this bulb here? You just unscrew this.
- 47. And out she pops.
- 48. On TV they say you repairmen are lonely.
Housewives get lonely too.
- 49. Although you may not realize it, since they
haven't made a commercial on the subject.
- 50. Then you just take this
and put it back in here nice and easy.
- 51. Be careful not to force it,
because it fits in there by itself.
- 52. And then you just screw this back on.
- 53. Oh, now, who could that be?
Will you excuse me for a moment?
- 54. Now, don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
- 55. This is fascinatin'. I wouldn't want to miss
a moment of it.
- 56. Good morning, Joyce. Avon calling.
- 57. Why, Peg, have you gone blind?
- 58. Can't you see there's a vehicle
in my driveway?
- 59. - Oh. Yes.
- I'm surprised you don't
realize that means I'm busy.
- 60. Now, we should decide on lipsticks.
- 61. Okay, dear,
what one did you like best?
- 62. There was the Winsome Wahini, which looked
charming on you, or the Bahimini Bliss.
- 63. - I like 'em both.
- Well, great!
- 64. You don't actually think
I have any money, do you?
- 65. It's just not my day.
- 66. Oh, my goodness.
- 67. Oh, it's so beautiful.
- 68. Hello?
- 69. Hello?
- 70. Hello! Avon calling!
- 71. Oh, my.
- 72. Hello?
- 73. Hello?
- 74. Hello. I'm Peg Boggs.
- 75. I'm your local
Avon representative. Hello?
- 76. I-I'm sorry to barge in like this...
- 77. but you don't have
any reason to be afraid.
- 78. Oh! This is some
huge house, isn't it?
- 79. Thank goodness for
those aerobics... classes.
- 80. Hello? Hello!
- 81. Why are you hiding back there?
- 82. You don't have to hide from me.
- 83. I'm Peg Boggs.
I'm your local Avon representative.
- 84. And I'm as harmless as cherry p‒
- 85. Oh, my. I can see
that I've disturbed you.
- 86. How stupid of me.
I-I'll just be going now.
- 87. Don't go.
- 88. Oh, my.
- 89. What happened to you?
- 90. - I'm not finished.
- 91. Put those down.
Don't come any closer. Just, please‒
- 92. Those are your hands?
- 93. Those are your hands.
- 94. What happened to you?
- 95. Where are your parents?
- 96. Um, your mother?
- 97. Your father?
- 98. He didn't wake up.
- 99. Are you alone?
Do you live up here all by yourself?
- 100. What happened to your face? Hmm.
- 101. No, I won't hurt you.
- 102. But at the very least...
- 103. let me give you a good astringent.
- 104. This will help to prevent infection.
- 105. What's your name?
- 106. Edward.
- 107. Edward?
- 108. I think you should
just come home with me.
- 109. - I'm‒ I'm sorry.
- No, no, don't be. You go ahead and look.
- 110. You have every reason to be excited.
- 111. Ohh! You okay?
- 112. You okay?
- 113. On Who's Counting?
- 114. - And here's the host of Who's Counting‒
- 115. Hi. Yeah, it's Marge.
- 116. I was standing outside talking to Carol,
and Peg drove by, and she had somebody in the car.
- 117. - Did you get a good look at him?
- No, I didn't.
- 118. - Did she say anything to you about having a guest?
- She didn't say anything to me.
- 119. - She rang my doorbell at the
crack of dawn this morning.
- 120. Okay, I'll meet you
on the corner. Right. Bye.
- 121. Oh, damn!
- 122. Here we go, dear. This is our house.
- 123. You can just go right in
and make yourself at home. Okay?
- 124. We'll have something
to eat or drink or whatever you‒
- 125. Here, dear. This is the front door here.
Here we go. Right in here.
- 126. Joyce, I just saw this strange guy
driving with Peg.
- 127. I didn't get a very good look at him.
He looked kinda pale.
- 128. Don't do anything without me.
- 129. Yes! Be right there!
- 130. Here we are.
- 131. So, um, this is the living room.
- 132. Back here are the bedrooms.
- 133. You want to see the pictures.
- 134. Well, this is my husband, Bill.
- 135. He's a bowling champion.
Do you know what bowling is?
- 136. Bowling?
- 137. Well, here they are
down at the lake, fishing.
- 138. I think Kevin looks a little glum
because they didn't catch anything that day.
- 139. And, um, here's my daughter, Kim...
- 140. all dressed for the junior prom.
- 141. She's a senior now,
if you can believe it.
- 142. She's camping in the mountains with some
friends, but she'll be back in a few days.
- 143. You can meet her then.
- 144. Isn't she beautiful?
- 145. That's my family.
- 146. Come along, dear, and I'll show you
the rest of the house.
- 147. Then you can just freshen up
and make yourself at home.
- 148. That's the kitchen over there. You help yourself
to anything you want to eat or drink.
- 149. Those are grapes.
And back here are the bedrooms.
- 150. Let me get you some towels,
and I'll see what we can find for you to wear.
- 151. You know what? I think I have
some of Bill's old clothes in here.
- 152. This is perfect.
- 153. Here. These should just fit you.
- 154. Oh! Don't be alarmed. That's just the phone.
- 155. You can go in Kim's room
and put these on. I'll be right with you.
- 156. No, no, he has scissors.
No, scissors. That's right.
- 157. Well, he‒ he was
born up there or something.
- 158. Have you ever seen him before?
- 159. No, I don't think
he's been off the grounds before today.
- 160. How did you ever
get together with him?
- 161. Listen, I have to go now.
I'll talk to you later, Marge. Bye-bye.
- 162. Sorry, Edward, I‒
- 163. Oh, dear. May I help you with this?
- 164. Thank you.
- 165. There you go.
- 166. Oh, dear, you've cut your face.
Let me just get this off.
- 167. - Does that hurt?
- 168. No? Good. Okay.
Now let's get you dressed.
- 169. Okay.
- 170. There we go. Very fine.
- 171. You look fine. Just fine.
- 172. Oh.
- 173. Come on! We can't wait for you!
- 174. - You've got rollers in your damn hair.
- 175. Okay.
- 176. Now, what did I do with my sci‒
- 177. Edward, um, would you?
- 178. Thank you.
- 179. You know, I have a doctor friend
who I think could help you.
- 180. - Really?
- 181. Now, I can help with the scars.
- 182. But I just wanna consult
the big Avon handbook before doing anything.
- 183. Bye!
- 184. Kevin.
- 185. Kevin, it's not polite
to stare, dear.
- 186. Kevin, think how it would make you feel
if somebody were staring at you.
- 187. - I wouldn't care.
- Well, I would! So don't do it!
- 188. Well, this must be
quite a change for you. Right, Ed?
- 189. - Edward, dear. I think he prefers Edward.
- Ah. Sure.
- 190. So, what have you been doing with yourself
up there in that big old place?
- 191. I bet, uh— I bet the view
must be spectacular. Huh, Ed?
- 192. - Edward.
- 193. Mmm. No, I-I was just‒
- 194. - See all the way to the ocean, I bet, huh?
- 195. Bill, could I have
the salt and pepper, please?
- 196. Bill, could I have
the salt and pepper, please? Thank you.
- 197. Kevin.
- 198. Kevin.
- 199. Man, those things are cool.
I bet they're razor-sharp.
- 200. - One karate chop to a guy's neck—
- 201. Edward, would you like
some butter for your bread?
- 202. Great!
- 203. Thank you.
- 204. Hey, can I bring him
to show-and-tell on Monday?
- 205. Kevin, I've had enough.
- 206. You think you can sleep?
- 207. I know things feel a little strange now,
but soon you'll feel right at home.
- 208. - Good night.
- Good night.
- 209. The light concealing cream
goes on first.
- 210. Then you blend and blend and blend.
Blending is the secret.
- 211. Mm-hmm.
- 212. More concealing cream.
- 213. Your complexion is so fair.
- 214. Now, this has a touch
of lavender in it.
- 215. Give it a try here. Close enough.
- 216. Okay, this should do the trick here.
- 217. Hmm.
- 218. I have another idea.
- 219. We'll cover up the scars and start with
a completely smooth surface.
- 220. Darn this stuff!
- 221. Hartley into
the windup. And the strike-one pitch.
- 222. Swung on and missed. Strike two.
- 223. Missed a hit. The club has 12 hits.
- 224. But they still have 11
on the scoreboard, and it's 3-1.
- 225. 0 and 2, the count to Warren.
- 226. Now they change it to 12 hits.
- 227. Turn it up, Kevin. I can't hear it.
- 228. Kevin?
- 229. Hartley's strike-two pitch... is hammered!
- 230. - Did you hear that, Mr. Boggs?
- No! Make it louder!
- 231. It's gone! It's out of here! It's history!
- 232. - Dad. Look!
- A grand slam for Martinez...
- 233. to make it a five-run inning
and blow this game to pieces.
- 234. I'll be darned.
- 235. They filled the whole tape.
- 236. What's going on over there? Call me.
- 237. Hi, it's Marge. Who is he? Call me.
- 238. Oh, by the way, I hear it's pouring rain
in the mountains. You think the kids are okay?
- 239. Hey there, darlin'!
- 240. The gals are all in a tizzy
about your secret visitor.
- 241. You can't keep him a secret forever.
- 242. Bowling Pins Falling,
- 243. Peyton, with a career-high average of 213—
- 244. Well, it's just wonderful, Ed.
- 245. My God, you have the whole family
in there, don't ya?
- 246. Edward, come here.
- 247. How about a strike?
- 248. Here it is.
- 249. No, no, no!
That's a terrible idea, son!
- 250. Go and get the oil can.
We don't want him rusting up on us, do we?
- 251. Oh, Edward! You did us?
- 252. - Oh, Bill, it's us!
- Yes, it is.
- 253. Oh, Edward!
- 254. It's not heaven he's from.
- 255. It's straight from
the stinking flames of hell.
- 256. The power of Satan is in him.
I can feel it. Can't you?
- 257. - Have you poor sheep strayed so far from the path?
- We're not sheep.
- 258. Don't come near me.
- 259. That's right, go on. Get out of here. Run.
- 260. Edward, don't you listen to her.
- 261. Don't worry about her, Edward.
She's just an old loony, that's all.
- 262. - Hi!
- You all are hidin' in there like a bunch of hermit crabs.
- 263. - Hi, Joyce. Hi!
- Shame on you, keeping your
unusual guest all to yourself.
- 264. We think that's
mighty selfish of you.
- 265. - Things have been hectic.
- That is so sweet of you to
want to correct the situation.
- 266. - What time does the barbecue begin?
- 267. You intend to show your guest hospitality
by introducing him to your friends, don't you?
- 268. - I'll bring coleslaw.
- I'll bring dessert!
- 269. And I will bring the ambrosia salad.
- 270. - What time was it that you said?
- What time? Uh, Bill‒
- 271. About 5:00?
- 272. - Bill!
- He has been sent first to tempt you.
- 273. But it's not too late.
- 274. You must push him from you, expel him,
trample down the perversion of nature.
- 275. Oh, did you hear that?
He's a perversion of nature.
- 276. Why, isn't that excitin'?
- 277. - See ya later.
- 278. Bill! Bill?
- 279. I've always said you can't have a picnic
or a barbecue without deviled eggs.
- 280. They're just the best.
They make a thing.
- 281. Oh, dear! Edward! That's wonderful!
- 282. I didn't know you chopped the whole thing,
but we'll have a really big—
- 283. Oh. All right, now. Just a nick.
- 284. There's no need to be nervous, dear.
- 285. Esmeralda won't be here...
- 286. and the rest of the neighbors,
they're really very nice.
- 287. There's no need to be nervous. They're so eager
to meet you. You just have to be yourself.
- 288. - Myself?
- That's right. Just your own sweet self.
- 289. Thanks, Edward.
- 290. - Play "Scissors, Paper, Stones" with us.
- Play Scissors-what?
- 291. I got a doctor friend of mine
might be able to help you.
- 292. - It looks incredible.
- And he did it just like that!
- 293. That's really incredible!
- 294. Hi, Mike! How you do‒
- 295. Hello, Jack. Hey, kids!
- 296. Hey! Hi! George Monroe— Whoa!
That's a heck of a handshake you got there, Ed.
- 297. Harry! Harry!
I saw you on the golf course last week!
- 298. I love 'em. We got a dozen of the melon
and a dozen of the pineapple.
- 299. Are you okay? Do you want something to eat?
Are you hungry? Yeah?
- 300. - You want a cracker?
- He's so different.
- 301. - Completely different.
- No kidding.
- 302. - He's so‒
- 303. Do you imagine those hands are hot or cold?
- 304. And just think
what a single snip could do.
- 305. Or undo.
- 306. - Eddie. Eddie.
- 307. The guys and I were talkin'. We'd like
to invite you to our card game Friday night.
- 308. Would you like that?
Only thing is, you can't cut!
- 309. I have my own infirmity.
- 310. Never did me a bit of harm.
- 311. Took some shrapnel during the war...
- 312. and ever since then I can't feel a thing‒
not a damn thing!
- 313. Don't you ever let anybody tell you
you have a handicap.
- 314. Who's handicapped? My goodness!
- 315. Don't be ridiculous.
You're not handicapped. You're‒
- 316. What do they call that?
- 317. Exceptional.
- 318. My name's Joyce, and I noticed that
you have not tasted...
- 319. any of the ambrosia salad
that I made especially for you.
- 320. Allow me.
- 321. Mmm! Mmm!
- 322. You must try this. It's my mother's recipe.
- 323. Let him chew, for heaven's sake!
- 324. I've never seen a green thumb like yours.
I sure could use your help at my place.
- 325. I want a row of angels.
- 326. I am so sorry, ladies, but he's promised
to come to my house first.
- 327. - Haven't you, Eddie?
- 328. Okay, everybody,
grab your plates! Soup's on!
- 329. - I thought this was shish kebab.
- 330. - I thought this was shish kebab.
- Yeah, it is.
- 331. It was a figure of speech.
You gotta learn not to take things so literally.
- 332. "Let us pretend that we are in
the drawing room and the hostess is serving tea.
- 333. "Now many, numerous
little questions confront us.
- 334. "Should the man rise
when he accepts his cup of tea?
- 335. May lump sugar be taken with the fingers?"
- 336. "Is it good form
to accept a second cup?
- 337. "Now, should the napkin
be entirely unfolded...
- 338. "or should the center crease
be allowed to remain?
- 339. "It is so easy to commit
- 340. "but etiquette tells us
just what is expected of us...
- 341. and guards us from all
humiliation and discomfort."
- 342. Mmm, yes. Boring.
- 343. Let us switch to, um‒
- 344. to some poetry, hmm?
- 345. "There was an old man
from the cape...
- 346. "who made himself garments of crepe.
- 347. "When asked, 'Will they tear?'
he replied, 'Here and there!
- 348. But they keep such a beautiful shape!"'
- 349. That's right. Go ahead.
Smile. It's funny.
- 350. That's right.
- 351. Okay, you guys, we're home.
- 352. - Shh!
- I can't believe everything's still sopping.
- 353. I can hardly wait to take a shower
and wash off the mildew.
- 354. - Or to sleep in a bed.
- If my parents have the alarm set, I'm screwed.
- 355. - I'll have to sleep in the yard again.
- I told you to call them.
- 356. - That's right. But did you?
- Nope. He'd rather complain.
- 357. How else am I supposed to be the center
of attention, huh? You didn't call your parents.
- 358. They don't run their house
like a police state. Bye, you guys.
- 359. - Okay. See you later.
- 360. - Bye.
- Bye. Don't forget your arm.
- 361. - Oh, yeah.
- Come on, Jim, let's go.
- 362. There's somebody in my room!
- 363. He's a murderer! He has an ax!
- 364. - When did you get home?
- He tried to kill me! Go look!
- 365. It's all right. It's all right.
Go back to bed.
- 366. There he is! Oh, my God!
- 367. - That's our Edward!
- Who is he?
- 368. - That's Edward-
- Edward? What are you talking about?
- 369. Edward's come to live with us.
There is nothing to be upset about.
- 370. - Mom, he had an ax!
- No, no. It's okay.
- 371. Okay, we'll have you
set up here in a minute.
- 372. We got a full queen-size bed here.
- 373. It's all made and everything.
Good. There you go.
- 374. What's the matter? What's wrong?
- 375. She get you nervous?
- 376. You've been cloistered away
up in that castle too long.
- 377. You don't know anything about
the wonderful world of teenage girls.
- 378. They're all crazy.
- 379. - Here. This will straighten you right out.
- What is it?
- 380. Lemonade.
- 381. I don't know what it is.
- 382. They reach a certain age...
- 383. they develop these gland things,
their bodies swell up.
- 384. They go crazy.
- 385. Glands?
- 386. Yeah, glands.
- 387. I try not to think about it.
- 388. Good, isn't it?
- 389. Now, you stay
in Kevin's room tonight.
- 390. Tomorrow, we'll fix your room
- 391. - Why did you bring him here?
- I couldn't have left him up there all alone.
- 392. - You would've done the same thing.
- Why does he have to stay here?
- 393. Oh, my goodness, Kim. I'm surprised at you.
He can't help the way he is.
- 394. - Have a little sympathy.
- I do have sympathy.
- 395. Then let's say hello to him.
Just come downstairs, shake the man's hand‒
- 396. - Shake his hand?
- Well, not literally.
- 397. - Goodness, you scared him half to death.
- I scared him to death?
- 398. Hi, Bill.
- 399. I just wanted you two
to have a proper introduction.
- 400. Edward, this is our daughter, Kim.
- 401. Kim, this is Edward,
who's gonna live with us.
- 402. Hi.
- 403. Eddie! Thirsty?
- 404. Kisses! Hush up!
- 405. Darlin', I can hardly
hear myself think!
- 406. Ah, mama's precious
little baby girl.
- 407. Wouldn't you like a nice,
cool glass of lemonade?
- 408. Lemonade?
- 409. One chop to a guy's neck,
and it's all over.
- 410. They're the sharpest things in the world.
- 411. They can hack
through anything, and‒
- 412. I think they look weird.
They give me the creeps.
- 413. - You should see the clown
in front of Miss Peters's yard.
- 414. - Oh, no.
- That's him?
- 415. - He's callin' you, Kimba.
- Stop it.
- 416. Edward, you forgot your cookies.
- 417. Don't worry, Eddie. She's waiting for you.
- 418. Bill, Edward was telling me
he had lunch at Jackie's today.
- 419. - She just had her kitchen completely redone.
- I'll be darned!
- 420. New paint, new cabinets, new floors,
a new microwave, new silent dishwasher—
- 421. - Isn't that wonderful!
- Isn't that something?
- 422. Jim, didn't you tell me your mom
had her kitchen done too?
- 423. - Yeah. My dad bought himself a bunch of new toys.
- 424. Big-screen TV,
CD players, VCR with four heads.
- 425. My goodness sake!
- 426. - I wonder what it's like to be that rich.
- They keep things locked up.
- 427. My father has his own room for his stuff
to make sure I can't get any use of it.
- 428. He's so cheap, he won't even help me
buy an old car.
- 429. He probably wants you
to pay for it yourself. I agree with him.
- 430. Builds character.
You'll appreciate it more.
- 431. Dad.
- 432. Speaking of money, I understand you're
not charging for your gardening, Edward.
- 433. Now, Bill,
Marge made him cookies today.
- 434. Sweetheart...
- 435. you can't buy
the necessities of life with cookies.
- 436. You can't buy a car with cookies.
Am I right, Jim?
- 437. That's true, sir. You can't.
- 438. I-I can't eat that.
He used his hands.
- 439. I don't think it's sanitary.
- 440. I'm sorry.
- 441. Honey, you want me to
help you clean that up?
- 442. No, that's okay. I'll be right back.
- 443. Alexis? Oh, this can't
possibly be my Alexis!
- 444. She looks so beautiful! Look at you!
- 445. Sweetie!
- 446. Thank you.
- 447. It won't be long.
She just has to decide on the style.
- 448. And then it'll be fine.
- 449. She just has to decide
what style she wants.
- 450. I was hoping for somethin' big and kinda bouffant,
you know. Kinda like mine.
- 451. Don't you worry, Kisses. You're gonna be
just fine. You're gonna be so pretty.
- 452. Yes, you are. Oh! Oh, my.
- 453. Ohh!
- 454. Oh, Eddie,
is there anything you can't do?
- 455. You've taken my very breath away.
- 456. I swear! Look at this!
- 457. Have you ever cut a woman's hair?
Would you cut mine?
- 458. That was the single
most thrillin' experience of my whole life.
- 459. They're getting
the head of the company!
- 460. - I'm home!
- Hi, honey! We're in here!
- 461. - Hi‒
- 462. - What did you do to your hair?
- Edward cut it. Isn't it wild?
- 463. - Is this Peg Boggs?
- Hello? Oh, I can't believe
I'm talking to you in person.
- 464. - This is such an honor.
- Well, thank you.
- 465. Yes. Yes, he's right here.
- 466. Great. So then you know all about him? Uh-huh.
- 467. Well, that's exactly
what I've been using.
- 468. Well, I've had a little trouble getting it
the right consistency.
- 469. - Well, just a little.
- Add 21 Red.
- 470. - I'll try that. Uh-huh.
- And then a dash of 418.
- 471. Well, what imaginative suggestions.
- 472. I sure will. Thank you so much.
- 473. - Bye-bye.
- 474. No wonder she's
the head of the company.
- 475. She started out
as a sales representative just like me.
- 476. I've always wanted to talk to her, but until
now I never had a reason. Thanks, Edward.
- 477. - She had some ideas?
- You bet she did.
- 478. - Uh-huh.
- 479. I'll get that.
- 480. Edward. We're here.
- 481. Come on. Let's get you sharpened up.
- 482. - You got it?
- No. I can't believe this. This is such a drag.
- 483. Hi!
- 484. - Bye-bye.
- 485. - Do you have a key?
- 486. - I could've sworn I put it here somewhere.
- Well, we're stranded.
- 487. Wow! Thanks!
- 488. Ed! What a guy. Good job.
- 489. You didn't break it
or scratch it or anything.
- 490. Be a pal and yell when Peg pulls in.
- 491. Quite a story, yes?
- 492. Any questions for Edward?
- 493. Yeah. Get way over.
- 494. - Stand right up.
- What's been the best part
of your new life here in town?
- 495. The friends I've made.
- 496. Any other questions?
- 497. Have you ever thought of
having corrective surgery or prosthetics?
- 498. - I know a doctor that might be able to help you.
- I'd like to meet him.
- 499. We'll give that name after the show.
Thank you. That's nice.
- 500. Anyone else? Yes. Stand right up.
- 501. - But if you had regular hands
you'd be like everyone else.
- Yes, I know.
- 502. - I think he'd like that.
- But then no one would think you were special.
- 503. You wouldn't be on TV or anything.
- 504. No matter what,
Edward will always be special.
- 505. More questions? Yes. Stand right up.
- 506. Your work is so interesting,
distinctive and unique.
- 507. - Do you have any plans to open your own beauty salon?
— Oh, there's an idea!
- 508. Anyone else?
Uh, yeah. Stand right up.
- 509. - Do you have a girlfriend?
- 510. - Sure he does. Right, Kim?
- Right, Kim?
- 511. - Great. Now you got him started.
- Knock it off, bubble-butt.
- 512. - You did it.
- 513. How about it, Edward?
Is there some special lady in your life?
- 514. Ooh.
- 515. Uh, everything's all right.
- 516. We'll take a break
and be right back after these messages.
- 517. - Just a little shock. What do you care?
- "A little shock"?
- 518. I wish we'd been taping that.
- 519. I'd give my left nut
to see that again.
- 520. Aren't you excited?
Oh, this is just so thrilling.
- 521. Wait'll I show it to you. It's just perfect.
It's just what we've been looking for.
- 522. I want to call it Shear Heaven.
- 523. Oh! And here we are!
- 524. Now, all along here,
I'm gonna put a row of new mirrors.
- 525. And back along here, well, I think—
- 526. Eddie. Come along, darling.
- 527. Back up here, a whole row
of new cosmetics.
- 528. And all along this row here‒
- 529. Peg could sell cosmetics.
- 530. Yeah. Sure. And this, of course,
is where we wash the hair.
- 531. And here is where I stand
when I greet the customers.
- 532. But back in here is what
I really want to show you‒
- 533. Eddie.
- 534. This is what I really
want to show you.
- 535. Now, this is the storeroom
where we keep everything.
- 536. What I need from you today
is a decision I need you to help me make.
- 537. Oh, honey, no! Don't. That's dangerous.
- 538. Now, you just sit right down there.
- 539. I have some smocks.
Would you like me to model them for you?
- 540. Yes.
- 541. Now, this is my favorite...
- 542. because it's yellow‒
- 543. And what it's for...
- 544. is to catch those itchy little trimmings
that fall down in your neck.
- 545. And then there's this
old purple one, you know...
- 546. you just kind of
drape around you like this.
- 547. - I like that one.
- Oh, Eddie.
- 548. Why, Eddie, you're trembling.
- 549. So am I.
- 550. I have been waiting
for this moment for so long.
- 551. Edward!
- 552. Edward, you come back here!
You can't do that!
- 553. Velcro, sweetheart.
Velcro, and it hangs on the dashboard.
- 554. - I've never seen that.
- Sorry I'm late.
- 555. Hi, Edward. Sorry, dear.
We had to order without you. Here you go.
- 556. So, Edward, did you have
a productive day?
- 557. Mrs. Monroe showed me
where the salon's going to be.
- 558. - You could have a cosmetics counter.
- Wouldn't that be great?
- 559. Great.
- 560. And then she showed me the backroom,
where she took all of her clothes off.
- 561. Edward, I can't tell you how thrilled I am.
I'm just as pleased as punch.
- 562. This whole beauty parlor venture's
gonna teach you volumes.
- 563. There's nothing like running
your own business.
- 564. I've never done it myself,
but from what I gather...
- 565. it's the greatest satisfaction
a working man can have.
- 566. So I guess the bank's
gonna be your next step, huh?
- 567. - The bank?
- Yeah, take out a loan, get yourself started.
- 568. Nothing to worry about.
- 569. With your talent and reputation,
it's gonna be a snap.
- 570. Yeah.
- 571. No credit.
No record of jobs you've held.
- 572. No savings. No personal investments.
- 573. No Social Security number.
You may as well not even exist.
- 574. There is no collateral.
- 575. No, we already have
a second on the house.
- 576. But don't the testimonials
make a difference?
- 577. Did you see here?
The mayor's wife can't wait to become a client.
- 578. We simply can't do it.
- 579. Now, get yourself
a Social Security card, establish credit...
- 580. and buy yourself a car.
- 581. You have a decided advantage.
You can get one of those handicapped placards.
- 582. No problem. Park anywhere you like.
- 583. I can't believe it.
It's just an outrage.
- 584. But don't you worry.
This isn't the end of it.
- 585. We'll get your money somehow.
- 586. But that's breaking and entering.
- 587. My parents have insurance up the rear.
What'll it cost them? A little hassle?
- 588. - A week, and my dad will have
a new and better everything.
- We can't.
- 589. - Look, there's a guy who'll
give us cash for this stuff.
- Jim, I don't want to.
- 590. You don't want us to have our own van
like Denny's where we can be by ourselves?
- 591. - With a mattress in the back?
- Why can't you just do it?
- 592. My father keeps the damn room locked.
We need Edward to get us in.
- 593. Can't you take the key, like,
when he's sleeping or something?
- 594. The only thing
he hangs onto tighter is his dick.
- 595. Come on, Kim.
Razor blades will do anything for you.
- 596. - What do you mean? That's not true.
- No? Why don't you ask him?
- 597. - That's not fair.
- What's fair got to do with it?
There isn't any other way.
- 598. There's gotta be.
- 599. Look, I've wracked my brain.
Don't you want us to have our own van?
- 600. Yeah.
- 601. Jim, the lights are on.
- 602. No. Those go on automatically.
They're gone for the weekend. I told you.
- 603. - That's right. In case of burglars.
- You turned off the alarm?
- 604. What do you think?
Come on. Let's go.
- 605. I hate this.
I can't believe this is happening.
- 606. - Are you sure he doesn't know this is Jim's house?
- He's never been here.
- 607. - This person stole from you?
- Shh! Keep your voice down.
- 608. I told you, he stole.
Come on. Let's go.
- 609. Tell his parents,
and they'll make him give it back.
- 610. Shh. I already tried,
but the guy's parents are like he is.
- 611. You told Kim you'd do this.
Come on. Let's go. Come on. Come on!
- 612. Come on.
- 613. Okay. Come on. Come on. Come on.
- 614. Come on. Come on!
Come on! Oh, my God. Come on.
- 615. The bastard had it wired separately.
- 616. - No, Jim! We can't just leave him here!
- Come on!
- 617. Come on! Come on! Keep moving!
- 618. - Come on.
- I can't do this!
- 619. - Come on, Kim.
- 620. Put me down!
- 621. We know you're in there.
- 622. We're in the process of deactivating
the system so that you can come out.
- 623. - Denny, turn around!
- No way.
- 624. Jim, it's your house.
They can't arrest you for setting off the alarm.
- 625. - We'll just— We'll tell 'em we freaked and ran!
- We're not going back there.
- 626. - We have to go back!
- No, because my father would prosecute!
- 627. - His own son?
- Especially his own son!
If Edward tells, I'll kill him!
- 628. - Denny, turn around!
- 629. - Turn around! You have to!
- 630. We want your hands high in the air
where we can see them.
- 631. Your hands up!
- 632. He's got something in his hands‒
looks like knives.
- 633. Drop your weapons!
- 634. I repeat— drop your weapons!
- 635. I'm gonna ask you one more time.
This is your last warning.
- 636. Drop your weapons.
- 637. If you fail to do so,
we'll have to open fire.
- 638. Don't make us do that, buddy!
Drop your weapons!
- 639. Drop them now!
- 640. Looks like we got a psycho.
Prepare to fire!
- 641. - No, no, no!
- Get back!
- 642. Those are his hands! Those aren't weapons!
Those are his hands!
- 643. Please, we know him.
- 644. All right. Cuff him.
- 645. - But we can see him now?
- You can see him now.
- 646. - We're gonna have to hold him
overnight for observation.
- He has to stay all night?
- 647. - You can pick him up in the morning.
- Oh, dear.
- 648. Oh, Edward.
- 649. Hello, Edward.
Oh, Edward, dear. I blame myself.
- 650. What in God's name was going
through your mind, son?
- 651. Why didn't I set
a better example?
- 652. You saw how I envied
Jim's parents their money.
- 653. What were you gonna do
with that stuff once you had it?
- 654. I blithely say, "Oh, we'll get money
for the salon somehow."
- 655. But I never meant stealing.
- 656. Dear, stealing's not
the way to get it.
- 657. Stealing's not the way
to get anything.
- 658. Except trouble,
and you're in a serious heap of that.
- 659. Oh, Edward,
why ever did you do this?
- 660. - Damn those TV programs.
- Damn them all to hell.
- 661. Or did somebody put you up to this?
- 662. Will he be okay, Doc?
- 663. The years spent in isolation
have not equipped him...
- 664. with the tools necessary
to judge right from wrong.
- 665. He's had no context.
He's been completely without guidance.
- 666. Furthermore, his work—
the garden sculptures, hairstyles and so forth‒
- 667. indicate that he's
a highly imaginative, uh, character.
- 668. It seems clear that his awareness
of what we call "reality"...
- 669. is radically underdeveloped.
- 670. But will he be all right out there?
- 671. Oh, yeah, he'll be fine.
- 672. Listen, it could keep me up all night
worrying about you.
- 673. You watch yourself, you hear?
- 674. I just happened to be up,
so I heard all this noise and I ran out.
- 675. All along, I felt in my gut there was
something wrong with him.
- 676. It could have been my house.
- 677. - It could have been any of our houses, but‒
- I warned you, didn't I?
- 678. I saw the sign of Satan on him.
- 679. You didn't heed my warning,
but now you will...
- 680. because now you can see it too.
- 681. Edward, just stay right here.
- 682. - What do you have to say in your defense?
- 683. - He doesn't want to talk right now.
- You have to say something.
- 684. - What?
- No, h-he can't talk right now.
- 685. - He can't talk.
- No comments? No remarks?
- 686. So, were you set up?
What was going through your mind?
- 687. - We have to get in the house!
- What do you have to say for yourself?
- 688. - He'll talk to you later.
- One comment. Just one comment.
- 689. Oh, for goodness sakes, Lois.
- 690. I'm gonna see you at our Christmas party
before I get you here for your haircut.
- 691. Of course we're gonna have it this year.
We have it every year.
- 692. Why wouldn't we have it this year?
- 693. Well, you may think that,
but you're wrong.
- 694. You're here.
- 695. They didn't hurt you, did they?
- 696. Were you scared?
- 697. I tried to make Jim go back...
- 698. but you can't make Jim do anything.
- 699. Thank you for not
telling them that we‒
- 700. You're welcome.
- 701. It must have been awful
when they told you whose house it was.
- 702. I knew it was Jim's house.
- 703. You did?
- 704. Yes.
- 705. Well, then why'd you do it?
- 706. Because you asked me to.
- 707. Kimba! Kimmy!
- 708. Hey!
- 709. - Don't!
- What's the matter with you?
- 710. When are you gonna stop?
I did what I could.
- 711. My old man thinks he's retarded. Otherwise he'd
still be in jail. What more do you want from me?
- 712. - You could tell the truth.
- So could you! You were there too.
- 713. - It wasn't my idea. You know
I didn't want to do it.
- But you did do it.
- 714. I don't get why you give such a shit anyway.
- 715. We're gonna try and help you find
a way to replace the drapes and the towels...
- 716. but our confidence in you, Edward,
is not gonna be so easy to replace.
- 717. Dad.
- 718. Okay. A little ethics.
- 719. You're walking down the street, find a suitcase
full of money. There's nobody around.
- 720. No human person is in evidence.
What do you do?
- 721. "A": you keep the money.
- 722. "B": you use it to buy gifts
for your friends and your loved ones.
- 723. "C": you give it to the poor.
- 724. "D": you turn it in to the police.
- 725. - Dad, this is really stupid.
- 726. - I'd keep the money.
- Simmer down.
- 727. Edward?
- 728. Hey, how 'bout after dinner we go down
to the bowling alley? That would be fun.
- 729. - You're not seeing Jim tonight?
- 730. You know, we had the coolest
- 731. This kid brought in
a box of baby possums— 10, maybe 12‒
- 732. totally naked, no hair at all.
- 733. Honey, this is fascinating,
but I don't think your father's finished yet.
- 734. Thank you, dear.
Edward, we're waiting.
- 735. Give it to my loved ones?
- 736. Oh, Edward, it does seem
that that's what you should do...
- 737. but it's not.
- 738. You dope! Everybody knows
you're supposed to give it to the police.
- 739. Good thinking, Kevin.
- 740. Well, think about it, you guys.
- 741. I mean, that's the nicer thing to do.
That's what I would do.
- 742. We're not trying to confuse him.
We're trying to make things a bit easier for him.
- 743. So let's cut the comedy
for a little while.
- 744. I am being serious, Dad.
It's a much nicer thing to do.
- 745. Well, we're not talking nice.
We're talking right and wrong.
- 746. - Shut up!
- Oh, goodness sake.
- 747. No wonder poor Edward can't learn
right from wrong...
- 748. living in this family!
- 749. Well, did you hear what he did
to Peg's curtains?
- 750. It's unbelievable that they're having
their Christmas party anyway.
- 751. - Are you going?
- I don't think so.
- 752. He practically raped Joyce, you know,
threatening her with those knives of his.
- 753. It's a miracle she escaped.
- 754. Oh, I don't have anything
against Bill and Peg, but‒
- 755. I know, I know. And they've got
that teenaged daughter in the house.
- 756. Oh, those poor things.
After what happened to me. Can you imagine?
- 757. What did you say to Peg
about the Christmas party?
- 758. - I said I hoped we could make it.
- I lied too.
- 759. Edward? You want to
give me that new haircut?
- 760. - Again?
- Yeah. Sure.
- 761. It makes me proud to have you
as my own personal hairdresser.
- 762. - Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi.
- 763. - Kevin, you wanna play "Scissors, paper, stone"?
- 764. - Why?
- It's boring. I'm tired of always winning.
- 765. - Other people's feelings— A few manners!
- I'll be outside.
- 766. Just never you mind, dear.
- 767. Just— You cut away. Cut away.
- 768. It needs something... else.
What do you think, honey?
- 769. - More bells?
- More bells. Okay.
- 770. Mom, do you really think
we should be having this party?
- 771. Of course I think we should
be having this party. Of course I do.
- 772. It's just what we need
just to calm things down.
- 773. And everything will just
go back to normal. Hmm?
- 774. Do you have any more bells, honey?
- 775. Hey!
- 776. Now you've done it.
- 777. It's just a scratch, Jim.
Really, it's okay.
- 778. Stay back! Touch her again,
and I'll kill you.
- 779. - It's no big deal.
- Call a doctor. He skewered Kim.
- 780. - No! He didn't skewer me.
- Stay away from her, okay? I mean it.
- 781. You can't touch anything
without destroying it.
- 782. Who the hell do you think
you are, hanging around?
- 783. I want you to sit right down
and wait for me to bring you some ice.
- 784. Stay right there.
I'll be right back.
- 785. Get the hell out of here!
- 786. Get the hell out! Go! Freak!
- 787. Hey, Edward! Where you goin'?
- 788. - Where is he?
- He tried to hurt you.
- 789. - No, he did not, and you know it.
- Are you nuts?
- 790. - I just saw him!
- Jim, I don't love you anymore.
- 791. I just want you to go!
Okay? Just go!
- 792. Are you serious?
- 793. I'm gonna lose you to that?
He isn't even human.
- 794. Just get out of here! Okay? Just go!
- 795. Dad, did you see where Edward went?
- 796. Oh, I don't know.
He just waltzed down the street.
- 797. - We have to go find him, Mom.
- Your father will find him.
- 798. Go on in the house.
I'll take care of it. I'll go find him.
- 799. Oh! Edward! I'm calling the police!
- 800. - All that blood, sweetie,
and it was just a little cut.
- 801. Oh.
- 802. Hello, Mrs. Boggs.
I'm here to see the man with the hands.
- 803. Oh. Uh‒
- 804. He's not here. Thank you.
- 805. Oh, dear.
- 806. - Helen. Helen, did you actually see him?
- Yes! Look!
- 807. Don't start, everyone!
- 808. I'm looking for the man
with the scissors.
- 809. - Thank God you're here.
- He went right down there that way.
- 810. All right. Calm down. Calm down.
Go on home. We'll handle it.
- 811. Just go home.
- 812. - He's a demon. A demon.
- You've gotta catch him.
- 813. - You've gotta do something!
- I think he's at my house.
- 814. I'm sure your father
will find him soon.
- 815. What time is it?
- 816. It's almost 8:30. Great party, huh?
- 817. Where are they?
- 818. God, I hope he's okay.
- 819. So do I, honey.
- 820. You know, when I brought Edward
down here to live with us...
- 821. I really didn't
think things through.
- 822. And I didn't think about
what could happen to him...
- 823. or to us...
- 824. or to the neighborhood.
- 825. And now I think that maybe...
- 826. it might be best if he goes...
- 827. back up there.
- 828. Because at least there, he's safe.
- 829. And we'd just go back to normal.
- 830. Well, I got halfway to the Whitmans'.
I didn't see him anywhere.
- 831. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Well, let's get in the car and go look for him.
- 832. - Where's Kevin now?
- He's at Max's.
- 833. Oh, for God's sakes.
Where do you think you're going, young lady?
- 834. - With you guys.
- No, you're staying here
in case somebody shows up.
- 835. We'll be right back, dear.
- 836. Police.
- 837. Edward?
- 838. Are you okay?
- 839. Yes. Are you okay?
- 840. Where is everybody?
- 841. Out looking for you.
- 842. Hold me.
- 843. I can't.
- 844. I know it's a little early
for Christmas, Edward...
- 845. but, uh...
- 846. I have a present for you.
- 847. Forget holding her hand.
Picture the damage he could do other places.
- 848. Yeah. That's sick.
- 849. I feel like I'm gonna pass out
or puke or something.
- 850. Later. First take me to her house.
- 851. - Oh, come on, Jim. Don't make me drive.
- Just do it!
- 852. Jesus. Maybe she
was right about you.
- 853. - Just drive!
- 854. - See you tomorrow. Call me.
- All right.
- 855. Have they caught him yet?
- 856. - Who?
- Him— that cripple.
- 857. Yeah. Let me know when they do.
- 858. Let us all know, okay?
- 859. Like a good boy.
- 860. Kevin.
- 861. Are you okay? Oh! It's okay.
- 862. Ow! Ow! Ow!
- 863. Edward, stop. Stop.
- 864. - Don't! Stop!
- Edward, stop!
- 865. Somebody help us!
- 866. - Help!
- What are you doing? Get away from him! Ow!
- 867. Somebody call the police!
- 868. - Let go of me!
- 869. Kevin!
- 870. - Hey! Get off of him!
- 871. - Get away!
- Edward, come home. Come home.
- 872. Stop it! Stop!
- 873. Run.
- 874. Kevin's all right!
It was just the tiniest scratch.
- 875. And he's gone.
Let's not bother him. All right?
- 876. Let's just leave him alone.
- 877. Go on, run.
- 878. - What happened?
- Okay, is he dead?
- 879. - Did you get him?
- It's all over. Go on home.
There's nothing more to see.
- 880. - What happened out there?
- I don't want to go home!
- 881. I want to know.
I want some answers from you.
- 882. It is all over.
- 883. Where is he? Where is he?
- 884. Get back here!
I want to ask you something!
- 885. Hey, I want to ask you.
- 886. - Did you see‒
- Look at that.
- 887. - There's nobody in that car.
- They don't have him.
- 888. - What are we gonna do?
- I'm going.
- 889. - No. Careful.
- That's not a good idea.
- 890. They're coming?
- 891. Did I hurt Kevin?
- 892. No. He's okay.
Mostly he was just scared.
- 893. Edward, I was so afraid.
- 894. I thought you were dead.
- 895. I didn't.
- 896. No!
- 897. No!
- 898. No! Jim!
- 899. Stop! No!
- 900. No!
- 901. Stop it or I'll kill you myself.
- 902. Bullshit!
- 903. Hey! I said stay away from her!
- 904. Good-bye.
- 905. I love you.
- 906. Is he in there?
- 907. He's dead.
- 908. The roof caved in on him.
- 909. They killed each other.
- 910. You can see for yourselves.
- 911. See?
- 912. I'm going home.
- 913. Good night.
- 914. She never saw him again.
- 915. Not after that night.
- 916. How do you know?
- 917. Because I was there.
- 918. You could have gone up there.
You still could go.
- 919. No, sweetheart.
- 920. I'm an old woman now.
- 921. I would rather he remember me
the way I was.
- 922. How do you know he's still alive?
- 923. I... don't know, not for sure.
- 924. But... I believe he is.
- 925. You see...
- 926. before he came down here...
- 927. it never snowed.
- 928. And afterwards...
- 929. it did.
- 930. If he weren't up there now...
- 931. I don't think it would be snowing.
- 932. Sometimes you can still
catch me dancing in it.