1. Hey, take it easy will ya!Copy !req
2. Hey, who's the big
birthday girl, huh?Copy !req
3. - Me!
- Oh boy, hey how old are you?Copy !req
4. I'm this!Copy !req
5. Well call me when
you're this, okay.Copy !req
6. All right here we go now.Copy !req
7. You got it straight,
okay? Hold it there.Copy !req
8. Hey, beautiful, beautiful!
Okay!Copy !req
9. Hey, what happened here?
What's the matter, huh?Copy !req
10. Johnny hit me.
He don't like me anymore.Copy !req
11. Oh, I know what you're
goin' through, ya know.Copy !req
12. You gave him the best three
months of your life, huh?Copy !req
13. Then he left you for a
pail and shovel.Copy !req
14. What do you see in him, anyway?
What are you in love with?Copy !req
15. He's not in your class. He's afraid
of the dark. He wets his pants.Copy !req
16. When he eats, he gets food all
over his face. He's a mama's boy.Copy !req
17. What are you,
in nursery school now?Copy !req
18. I guarantee you, by the time
you get to kindergarten,Copy !req
19. you'll forget all
about him, okay?Copy !req
20. Hey, look who's here!
Show time! Bobby Bunny, huh?Copy !req
21. Here we go, kids, let's go here.
Bobby Bunny's here-Copy !req
22. - What's that?
- Oh, nothing, nothing.Copy !req
23. Bobby Bunny just dropped
a few carrots, that's all.Copy !req
24. Well, let's go over
today's schedule.Copy !req
25. It is exactly 6:33.Copy !req
26. It is exactly 6:34.Copy !req
27. At 7:00, we're meeting with theCopy !req
28. head of the furniture department
regarding inventory.Copy !req
29. Postpone the meeting.
Double-check the inventory,Copy !req
30. and fire the cleaning staff.Copy !req
31. 7:20, you will crush the hopes
of the loading dock workersCopy !req
32. regarding better working
conditions.Copy !req
33. Cancel the meeting, and
send out a memorandumCopy !req
34. that the working conditions
at the loading dockCopy !req
35. will remain as they have for
the past 35 years.Copy !req
36. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
37. At 7:30, we'll be meeting
with the accountantsCopy !req
38. regarding donations and
charitable contributions.Copy !req
39. Cancel that meeting, and
cancel my check to Boy's Town.Copy !req
40. What time is Scrappleton coming?Copy !req
41. Uh, 7:50, with the legal
papers you requested.Copy !req
42. As soon as you finish with Scrappleton,
we leave for New Dorp, Staten IslandCopy !req
43. to attend your granddaughter
Allison's wedding.Copy !req
44. Well, I hope she's
made a better choiceCopy !req
45. than her mother did!Copy !req
46. Jesus! Rose!Copy !req
47. How did you talk me into this?Copy !req
48. You should use Allison.
She's the one who has to wear it.Copy !req
49. It's unlucky for the bride to wear
her gown before the wedding day.Copy !req
50. How unlucky can she get,
look who she's marrying.Copy !req
51. Come on dear,
you shouldn't talk like that.Copy !req
52. Julio's a good boy.
Come on, Rose, will ya?Copy !req
53. See the guy for what he is.
He belongs to a gang.Copy !req
54. It's a good boy's gang.
They help people.Copy !req
55. - Ooh, take it easy, will ya?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Where'd I get you?Copy !req
56. If I show you where you got me
we'll never get outta here.Copy !req
57. All right, hold still.
I've gotta finish this.Copy !req
58. You gotta pick up the cake,
and mother will be here soon.Copy !req
59. Your mother.Copy !req
60. I gotta go to the john.
Monty! Oh, the dress!Copy !req
61. - No, you're wonderful.
- Allison, I need the phone.Copy !req
62. - I'm in here!
- Come on, get outta there!Copy !req
63. - Get off, will ya?
- I am so hung up on you.Copy !req
64. Good idea.
I'll see you in church.Copy !req
65. Daddy!Copy !req
66. Don't worry, you won't
lose him, all right.Copy !req
67. Belinda, let's go.Copy !req
68. Someday I'll be out
of your life.Copy !req
69. Yeah, right now get outta
the bathroom, all right.Copy !req
70. The best thing about
having daughters.Copy !req
71. Nicky boy, it's Monty.Copy !req
72. Close the door.Copy !req
73. Yeah?Copy !req
74. Nicky, Rose's mother,
she's on her way over.Copy !req
75. So? What do you want from me?Copy !req
76. I need the truck.
I gotta pick up the wedding cake.Copy !req
77. What am I supposed to be,
Allied Vans?Copy !req
78. You really know how to push
a friendship, you know?Copy !req
79. When's the last time you
did something for me?Copy !req
80. Hey Monty you got a
short memory, you know?Copy !req
81. Who drove all the way
down to Atlantic CityCopy !req
82. to bail you out when
you owed $400?Copy !req
83. At Belmont, you had
four losers in a row.Copy !req
84. Who gave you the
winner in the fifth?Copy !req
85. The cake's for your godchild,
you ungrateful bastard you!Copy !req
86. All right, all right. Give
me a chance. I'm comin'.Copy !req
87. - Where's my stuff?
- By the front door. What's the rush?Copy !req
88. I gotta go to work.
I got a wedding to pay for.Copy !req
89. Don't forget the cake.Copy !req
90. How many years you know me?
Did I ever forget anything?Copy !req
91. Nicky, just in time. Beautiful!Copy !req
92. I don't wanna see her fucking-Copy !req
93. Mother!Copy !req
94. - Was it Nicky?
- No, no. It's not Nicky. No.Copy !req
95. - Oh, it's mother!
- Leave him, dear.Copy !req
96. Just simply walk out on him.Copy !req
97. His entire body is bloodshot.
He'll never change.Copy !req
98. Nice to see you too.Copy !req
99. It's gonna be so much
fun having everyone here.Copy !req
100. Yeah, a lot of fun,
a lot of fun.Copy !req
101. Well, if it isn't my favorite relative.Copy !req
102. Oh don't start that bullshit, all right.Copy !req
103. Monty, please bring
mother's luggage upstairs.Copy !req
104. - Well what's Clive, a footstool?
- No, no, Monty, let me get this.Copy !req
105. - How can you stand him?
- You've gotta get to know him.Copy !req
106. The wedding is gonna be wonderful.Copy !req
107. We never get to see you.Copy !req
108. The store takes up all my time.Copy !req
109. Mother, why do you push
yourself so hard?Copy !req
110. The money doesn't matter.Copy !req
111. When your father was alive,
he ran Monahan's like a tyrant.Copy !req
112. He paid the help next to nothing.Copy !req
113. - He drove them like sled dogs.
- Wonderful man.Copy !req
114. Wonderful! Now that he's
gone, I carry on his work.Copy !req
115. Rose,Copy !req
116. I don't know how you can
live with that man.Copy !req
117. We're happy just the way we are.Copy !req
118. Happy? Yeah, we were
until a few minutes ago.Copy !req
119. And we don't want a dime
from you. You understand?Copy !req
120. No offense.Copy !req
121. No offense?Copy !req
122. No offense?Copy !req
123. You are an offense!Copy !req
124. Why, you can barely walk erect.Copy !req
125. You pollute the air
with your smoking.Copy !req
126. You reek of liquor and
God knows what else.Copy !req
127. You're an ecological menace!Copy !req
128. Yeah, well you were the
inspiration for twin beds.Copy !req
129. And I'll tell you something else-Copy !req
130. Monty, don't start with mother.Copy !req
131. I'm not startin' nothin'.
It never ended.Copy !req
132. And to think of who you could
have married. Pat Flannigan.Copy !req
133. Do me a favor, will ya,Copy !req
134. don't start throwing up the
guys she could've married.Copy !req
135. He started out as a bricklayer.Copy !req
136. Now he owns his own
construction company.Copy !req
137. And what about Tom O'Rourke?
He started as a busboy.Copy !req
138. Today he has his own restaurant.Copy !req
139. Oh yeah, I started out as a baby.
Today I'm a baby photographer.Copy !req
140. I'll see you later.Copy !req
141. And I'm sure you're gonna
talk about me when I'm gone.Copy !req
142. Where do you live, in Vermont?
What took you so long?Copy !req
143. Why do you let her
mother get to you?Copy !req
144. Forget about her, will ya?Copy !req
145. She never wanted Rose
to marry me. Never.Copy !req
146. She says I drink too much,
I smoke too much, I gamble.Copy !req
147. She's right, but what
am I gonna do?Copy !req
148. I can't control myself.Copy !req
149. I got no, uh, what's the
word I'm looking for, I got no-Copy !req
150. Class.Copy !req
151. Nah, we know I got class, no.Copy !req
152. It's a certain word
I'm looking' for.Copy !req
153. What's the word for someone
who can't say "no"?Copy !req
154. - Sonya.
- Not Sonya. No, not Sonya.Copy !req
155. No, I got no...Copy !req
156. Willpower! That's the word
I'm lookin' for.Copy !req
157. Willpower, I got no willpower.
That's what it is.Copy !req
158. Yeah, willpower.Copy !req
159. Make a left on Elm.
I got a quick shoot.Copy !req
160. What shoot? You didn't say
anything about a shoot.Copy !req
161. Leave me alone. I got enough
problems. Just take a left on Elm.Copy !req
162. I got a quick shoot. I'll be quick.
You can help me, all right.Copy !req
163. Oh, I can help you.
Well, thanks.Copy !req
164. You really think I got no class?Copy !req
165. No, I don't think
you got no class.Copy !req
166. I'm gonna be sad. Mmmmm.
Very good, okay!Copy !req
167. Now, I'm gonna be a monster.
Watch this, okay.Copy !req
168. Now the big one.
Okay, the big one.Copy !req
169. Can you be happy?Copy !req
170. That's a good one!
Okay, be happy.Copy !req
171. Okay, here we are. Smile pretty.Copy !req
172. Beautiful!
There we go, we got it.Copy !req
173. The other door. The other door!Copy !req
174. - I got it, I got it.
- The other door!Copy !req
175. - Get outta here.
- Oooh! Oh!Copy !req
176. The cake, the cake!Copy !req
177. - Watch out for the top.
- I'm watching, I'm watching.Copy !req
178. It's not gonna slide
around in there, is it?Copy !req
179. No, I got it wedged
against a toilet.Copy !req
180. This is just great.
My favorite system a lock.Copy !req
181. And I got Monty in the
truck with a wedding cake.Copy !req
182. I gotta pick up my mother,
take her to the beauty parlor.Copy !req
183. - What's the tip?
- Big Boy in the fifth.Copy !req
184. Forget it! The fifth goes off at 3:00.Copy !req
185. - We goin' to the track?
- I can't go. I got a bar to run.Copy !req
186. This here's a sure thing.Copy !req
187. - It's forty to one.
- Hey!Copy !req
188. - Wake up, we're closing up.
- I didn't finish my drink yet.Copy !req
189. You're finished now. Get outta here.
Here's your dollar.Copy !req
190. Come on, come on will ya.
We've got five minutes to post.Copy !req
191. Hey! Get the hell out of there!Copy !req
192. Slow down, will ya, slow down.
They're kids.Copy !req
193. Nicky, take care of it.Copy !req
194. What're you doing?Copy !req
195. Sixty seconds to post time.Copy !req
196. Are you gonna place
a bet or what?Copy !req
197. Oh, yes, yes. I'd like the
number seven horse please.Copy !req
198. Thirty seconds to post time.Copy !req
199. I'd like to put two dollars to win,
and two dollars to placeCopy !req
200. - and two dollars to show.
- Okay, buddy, good luck.Copy !req
201. The next time you bet,
remember, instead of sayingCopy !req
202. two dollars to win,
two dollars to place,Copy !req
203. two dollars to show, just say,
"two across the board."Copy !req
204. - Gee, you mean instead of saying-
- What are you buyin', a house?Copy !req
205. Two dollars to place...Copy !req
206. Let's go while we're young.Copy !req
207. We're gonna get shut out!Copy !req
208. Yes, I have a friend
that wants to bet theCopy !req
209. number seven horse.Copy !req
210. Number six horse. Six horse.Copy !req
211. No more bets.Copy !req
212. And they're off!Copy !req
213. Nicky, come on.
We're goin' to the rail.Copy !req
214. Big Boy making up lots
of ground on the outside,Copy !req
215. moving to the fourth spot.Copy !req
216. Here comes Big Boy with a rush
on the extreme outside.Copy !req
217. How's he doin'?
How's he doin'?Copy !req
218. - Gettin' farther ahead all the time.
- Gimme those things.Copy !req
219. Five lengths ahead!Copy !req
220. Fifty bucks at forty to one!Copy !req
221. That's two grand apiece!
Two grand apiece!Copy !req
222. You dragged me out here,
you bastards, I love ya, I love ya!Copy !req
223. That's two grand apiece!
Two G's!Copy !req
224. I'm goin' to Hawaii!
I'm goin' to Hawaii!Copy !req
225. - He's fallin' back.
- I'm not goin' to Hawaii!Copy !req
226. He's too far ahead to lose.Copy !req
227. Look at him!
He thinks he's water skiing!Copy !req
228. - We were in. What happened?
- Yeah, there's our winner.Copy !req
229. I closed my bar! Get outta here!Copy !req
230. I'll kill you.Copy !req
231. I'll kill you, Bosco!Copy !req
232. I'll kill him. I'll kill you!Copy !req
233. There was supposed to be a fix.
Crooks!Copy !req
234. I was gonna buy a new neon sign.Copy !req
235. Yeah, that's it.
Step on his face!Copy !req
236. That son of a bitch!Copy !req
237. Go get him, Nicky!Copy !req
238. My bridesmaids' dresses are
lime green.Copy !req
239. And my maid of honor
is wearing lime green.Copy !req
240. The maid of honor's dress should
always be in contrastCopy !req
241. to the bridesmaids.Copy !req
242. This is, um, delicious!
What do you call it?Copy !req
243. Chicken!Copy !req
244. I know it's chicken, dear,
but what kind?Copy !req
245. There's Kiev,
there's Florentine-Copy !req
246. Shake & bake!Copy !req
247. Mother, I'm glad you could come.Copy !req
248. I've always been sorry
you missed my wedding.Copy !req
249. You know I couldn't go
to your wedding.Copy !req
250. That's cause Daddy was there.Copy !req
251. Where is your father tonight,
dear?Copy !req
252. He's taking baby pictures.Copy !req
253. Ha! What kind of a baby is it
that's still up at 9 at night?Copy !req
254. Sweetheart, watch out
for this guy.Copy !req
255. He'll buy you a bottle of beer,
and squeeze the "schlitz" outta ya.Copy !req
256. Who is this guy?Copy !req
257. He's my friend.
Don't worry about him.Copy !req
258. Excuse me, miss. I don't mean to
interrupt while you're working.Copy !req
259. I was wondering if you could
come over to the houseCopy !req
260. Sunday for dinner
and meet my mother?Copy !req
261. - Do you wanna go home?
- He's kiddin' around.Copy !req
262. Excuse me, pal. You got a
problem here? This is my friend.Copy !req
263. - Who are you?
- Who am I?Copy !req
264. I'm the guy that put the
bathrooms in this joint.Copy !req
265. That's who I am.Copy !req
266. Now I know why the
place stinks, okay, pal?Copy !req
267. Break it up, will ya?
What's the matter?Copy !req
268. Take it easy, will ya?Copy !req
269. - Ma?
- Hmm?Copy !req
270. Am I pretty?Copy !req
271. Oh, you're beautiful,
sweetheart.Copy !req
272. Julio's a very lucky boy.Copy !req
273. I wanna make him happy.Copy !req
274. But there's so much
I don't know.Copy !req
275. - Like what?
- Like about, you know.Copy !req
276. - I know what?
- You know!Copy !req
277. Oh, that.Copy !req
278. Didn't your father tell you
everything you need to know?Copy !req
279. He keeps starting,
but he never finishes.Copy !req
280. What do you wanna know?Copy !req
281. Foreplay. Have you
ever heard of foreplay?Copy !req
282. No, not with your father.Copy !req
283. It's nice we can have
these little talks.Copy !req
284. Let's go help Belinda
pour the coffee.Copy !req
285. Wait, Mom.Copy !req
286. How did you know that
you really loved Daddy?Copy !req
287. We were at Coney Island
on the ferris wheel.Copy !req
288. We got caught at the top.Copy !req
289. Later on, I found outCopy !req
290. he paid the man a
dollar to stop the ride.Copy !req
291. Your father said things to meCopy !req
292. that were so sweet, so romantic.Copy !req
293. I said to myself,
"Here's a sensitive man."Copy !req
294. Just once, a fuckin' four!Copy !req
295. Four! Got a four!Copy !req
296. Gimme the dice, I'm hot.
Gimme the dice.Copy !req
297. Hold it, hold it! You
won, right?Copy !req
298. We're ahead. We can leave
winners right now.Copy !req
299. Okay, so we go. Let's go.Copy !req
300. Double or nothin'.
Come on, here we go.Copy !req
301. Oh, Monty!Copy !req
302. You did it again, huh?Copy !req
303. We were winners. We
could've walked away.Copy !req
304. That's how I am. Once I
get goin', I can't stop.Copy !req
305. Come on. Forget about it.
It's history. Let's go.Copy !req
306. Good stuff. It oughta be.
I got it off a cop.Copy !req
307. - I'm starvin'.
- Let's go to Lucky's. He's open late.Copy !req
308. He's closed.Copy !req
309. Come on, Pop's inside.
He'll let us in.Copy !req
310. Pop's last dish.Copy !req
311. We're drivin' a half hour.Copy !req
312. The closest we came to food,
we almost hit a deer.Copy !req
313. Hey, there's a place.Copy !req
314. I'm so hungry,
I could eat the waitress.Copy !req
315. No, no! No! It's wrong.
Nicky, it's wrong.Copy !req
316. - I just wanna see what-
- It's wrong!Copy !req
317. It's wedding cake flavor.
I love wedding cake.Copy !req
318. Why don't you get married?Copy !req
319. Let me just lick the bride.Copy !req
320. That's my daughter!Copy !req
321. It's a little plastic thing.
It's not your daughter.Copy !req
322. Only one little flower each.Copy !req
323. There's a lot of little flowers.
Nobody will know the difference.Copy !req
324. Forget about it.
Let's get outta here.Copy !req
325. And don't drive fast.
You're drunk.Copy !req
326. Don't worry about it.
I drive better when I'm drunk.Copy !req
327. You got a weird sense of humor.
You know that?Copy !req
328. You laugh at everything.
Weather reports, car chase.Copy !req
329. You laugh at everything.Copy !req
330. Keep it straight, will ya?
You're swerving all over the place.Copy !req
331. I'm goin' straight.
I'm on the yellow line, I told ya.Copy !req
332. Move over to one side.
The other side! What are ya doin?Copy !req
333. You're on the other side!
Get over here!Copy !req
334. - Keep to the right!
- Get your hands off the wheel!Copy !req
335. Nicky look out!Copy !req
336. My head! I hit my head!Copy !req
337. What's so funny?
Everything's funny to you.Copy !req
338. You laugh and laugh.Copy !req
339. Watch the road, will ya?
Will you watch the road?Copy !req
340. I lost my joint.
Where's my joint?Copy !req
341. Just watch the road, asshole.Copy !req
342. Move the car, Nicky, the car!Copy !req
343. You got some aspirin?Copy !req
344. I'm sorry. It was an emergency.Copy !req
345. - You sure this is a good idea?
- Daddy.Copy !req
346. Isn't she beautiful?Copy !req
347. Yeah, but who's that with her?Copy !req
348. What do you see in this guy?Copy !req
349. He has everything I ever wanted.Copy !req
350. You don't ask for much, do you?Copy !req
351. Did your mother tell you
everything you need to know?Copy !req
352. She taught me how
to fry bananas.Copy !req
353. Oh, beautiful!Copy !req
354. You'll end up working
in a Spanish restaurant.Copy !req
355. You're not pregnant, are you?Copy !req
356. Daddy! The way you
brought me up?Copy !req
357. All right.Copy !req
358. Welcome, Allison.
Welcome, Julio.Copy !req
359. Julio Vidal O'Campo,
will you have AllisonCopy !req
360. Juliana Capuletti, to be your wife,Copy !req
361. to live together in the
covenant of marriage?Copy !req
362. Shhh!Copy !req
363. Will you love her, comfort
her, honor her and keep herCopy !req
364. in sickness and in health,Copy !req
365. and foresaking all others,
be faithful to herCopy !req
366. for as long as you
both shall live?Copy !req
367. I do.Copy !req
368. Where's your father?
He's directing traffic.Copy !req
369. Please, let's go. Get outta here.
Come on, towards me.Copy !req
370. Back up, back up! Turn the
wheel to the right. The wheel!Copy !req
371. Where're you goin',
what's happening here?Copy !req
372. We gotta get outta here.Copy !req
373. Hold it, will ya, he ain't goin' nowhere.
What's your problem?Copy !req
374. Hey!Copy !req
375. Whoo!Copy !req
376. Hey!Copy !req
377. Whoo!Copy !req
378. Why didn't he fix the walk?
It's been this way for months!Copy !req
379. Why can't you make everybody happy
and shake hands with this kid?Copy !req
380. - Not me.
- Shake hands with him.Copy !req
381. Go ahead.Copy !req
382. Look at him, look at him.Copy !req
383. If I look at him,
I won't shake hands!Copy !req
384. Look at him. Go ahead.Copy !req
385. Now look, Julio.
We're family now, all right?Copy !req
386. Just do the right thing.
Make Allison happy.Copy !req
387. She's a great girl.Copy !req
388. I know,
I lived with her for 18 years.Copy !req
389. Can I call you dad?Copy !req
390. Oh, it's wonderful to
see you two get along.Copy !req
391. Good-bye, honey!Copy !req
392. Hey, what are we doin' here,
my glass is empty.Copy !req
393. Come on, will ya?Copy !req
394. Wow.Copy !req
395. This is it.Copy !req
396. Yeah, our first motel room.Copy !req
397. Okay, let's get the guy up
here who paid for this shindig.Copy !req
398. Hold it, hold it. Let him talk.Copy !req
399. - I got nothin' to say, Nicky.
- Then sing a song. I sang.Copy !req
400. - I can't sing. Are you kiddin'?
- Sing "La Consonetta."Copy !req
401. I'm no Sinatra,
but here it goes. Okay?Copy !req
402. How do I look?Copy !req
403. You look beautiful.Copy !req
404. I always dreamed
about my wedding day.Copy !req
405. I guess I never
thought about the night.Copy !req
406. Be gentle with me.Copy !req
407. Julio!Copy !req
408. This is foreplay.Copy !req
409. - I have a headache.
- I don't wanna touch your head.Copy !req
410. Please, Julio, I've never
been with a man before.Copy !req
411. Neither have I!Copy !req
412. Julio!Copy !req
413. - What's wrong with you?
- I don't know what to do.Copy !req
414. - I brought a book.
- A book?Copy !req
415. "El Joyo de Sexo."Copy !req
416. - It's in Spanish.
- I'm gonna translate it for you.Copy !req
417. It has a very happy ending.
You're gonna love it.Copy !req
418. Allison?Copy !req
419. What do you want from me, Julio?Copy !req
420. I never seen anything like that.Copy !req
421. Try to understand.Copy !req
422. I keep hearing my father say,
"Don't."Copy !req
423. He meant before you were married.Copy !req
424. I'm not so sure.
You don't know my father.Copy !req
425. Allison,Copy !req
426. listen to me.Copy !req
427. My cousin once knew a guy,Copy !req
428. and the guy went
out with a virginCopy !req
429. for six months.Copy !req
430. And on their wedding night,
when they got married,Copy !req
431. and they wanted to
consummate the marriage,Copy !req
432. the woman wouldn't let him.Copy !req
433. And in the morning,Copy !req
434. they found the guy deadCopy !req
435. in the bed next to her.Copy !req
436. - Oh.
- Allison?Copy !req
437. I don't wanna die.Copy !req
438. - You're my wife.
- Yeah.Copy !req
439. - I love you.
- Yeah.Copy !req
440. We're all alone.Copy !req
441. And your father,Copy !req
442. he is a million miles away.Copy !req
443. Hello?Copy !req
444. Julio, I just wanna say
good night to my little baby.Copy !req
445. My father!Copy !req
446. You hung up on my father?
I wouldn't hang up on your father.Copy !req
447. You wouldn't understand my father.Copy !req
448. Yeah, well, I'm not so sure
I understand you either.Copy !req
449. Well then why don't you go spend your
wedding night with your father then?Copy !req
450. Okay, I will!Copy !req
451. Monty, don't forget
to fix the walk.Copy !req
452. Yeah.Copy !req
453. Watch it, watch it!
Watch where you're goin'!Copy !req
454. My air mail!Copy !req
455. Oh, my air mail!Copy !req
456. Listen to me.
I want my wife back.Copy !req
457. Well, look who's here. Don Juan.Copy !req
458. - It's your fault she left me, man.
- What, am I responsible?Copy !req
459. When Eddie Fisher broke up with Debbie,
you blame me for that too, huh?Copy !req
460. She don't wanna see ya.Copy !req
461. You gotta help me, man.
You gotta help me.Copy !req
462. Give her time.
She'll come back when she's ready.Copy !req
463. You oughta give her a few drinks.Copy !req
464. That's how I got her mother ready.Copy !req
465. I'm in.Copy !req
466. - It's up to you, Paddy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
467. - What the hell is that you got on?
- This? This used to be a shirt.Copy !req
468. You know Rose.
She don't throw nothin' out.Copy !req
469. She keeps lookin' at the cuffs.Copy !req
470. Soon as they get frayed, it
becomes a short-sleeve shirt.Copy !req
471. When the collar goes,
I end up with a pajama top.Copy !req
472. Right now I got 23
short-sleeve pajama tops.Copy !req
473. You know what I found in the closet?
A hundred 1978 calendars.Copy !req
474. That's Rose!Copy !req
475. I tell ya, if 1978 ever comes back,
we're in great shape, ya know.Copy !req
476. Hey, are we gonna
talk or we gonna play cards?Copy !req
477. He'll talk.Copy !req
478. Nicky, take it easy.Copy !req
479. Take it easy, Nicky.
He didn't mean it.Copy !req
480. Monty, the phone.Copy !req
481. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
482. Monty, you have to pick it up.Copy !req
483. You got the wrong number.
There's nobody home. We're asleep.Copy !req
484. Mr. Capuletti?Copy !req
485. Are you there?
Monty, who is it, Monty?Copy !req
486. Hello, hello! Anyone there?Copy !req
487. Ah, ah.Copy !req
488. Who know a Scrappleton?Copy !req
489. That's mother's lawyer.Copy !req
490. Yeah. Yeah?Copy !req
491. That's awful!Copy !req
492. No, no. I'm sorry.
I'll tell her.Copy !req
493. I'll tell her. I'm sorry.Copy !req
494. Monty, what happened?Copy !req
495. Rose, you better sit down for this.Copy !req
496. Is it mother?Copy !req
497. Rose, there was a plane crash.Copy !req
498. Your mother earned her wings.Copy !req
499. It's all right.
It's all right, baby.Copy !req
500. "And to my nephew Clive,Copy !req
501. "son of my beloved departed brother,Copy !req
502. "whom I've undertaken to
raise as a son of my own,Copy !req
503. "in as much as he has always
led a simple, virtuous life,Copy !req
504. "and because it is my wish
that he continue to do so,Copy !req
505. "I bequeath to him an additional
income of $5,000 a yearCopy !req
506. for the rest of his life."Copy !req
507. Ah there must be
some mistake, Dan.Copy !req
508. - There must be some more zeroes.
- No.Copy !req
509. Um, a comma?Copy !req
510. No.Copy !req
511. "To my beloved daughter, Rose,Copy !req
512. "burdened as she is with
cares and responsibilities,Copy !req
513. "I bequeath the remainder of my estate,Copy !req
514. "which includes
Monahan's Department Store,Copy !req
515. estimated worth, $10 million."Copy !req
516. Oh!Copy !req
517. "If, and only if, her husband MontyCopy !req
518. can reform himself in one year."Copy !req
519. What kind of reform
you talking' about?Copy !req
520. There is a codicil attached
to the will, Mr. Capalooti.Copy !req
521. - That's Capuletti.
- Mr. Capuletti.Copy !req
522. Which lists the activities
which are to be proscribed:Copy !req
523. That is, the things
you must refrain from.Copy !req
524. - No smoking.
- No philandering.Copy !req
525. - No gambling.
- No drugs.Copy !req
526. No alcohol.Copy !req
527. No alcohol?
Does that go for beer too?Copy !req
528. Certainly.Copy !req
529. And you must weigh not more
than 175 pounds.Copy !req
530. Uh, question?Copy !req
531. Assuming Monty can't reform,
perish the thought...Copy !req
532. Oh, then you get the money.Copy !req
533. I do?Copy !req
534. - Forget about it. I'm not doin' it.
- You're right, forget it.Copy !req
535. Daddy, come on, you can do it!
It's $10 million!Copy !req
536. Oh, and Mr. Capalooti,Copy !req
537. should you decide to
accept these terms,Copy !req
538. remember we'll be watching you.Copy !req
539. I need a drink and a cigarette
so I can think this over, ya know.Copy !req
540. Twelve months? Forget about it.Copy !req
541. You can do that
standing on your head.Copy !req
542. It's easy money.Copy !req
543. Hey, that's a lot
of money, Monty.Copy !req
544. That could parlay
into a fortune for you.Copy !req
545. I couldn't care less,
Monty, but think of the kids.Copy !req
546. - Think about mommy.
- Think of your wife, and your kids.Copy !req
547. Think of me, ya bum!Copy !req
548. Monty, breakfast is ready.Copy !req
549. Oh, breakfast. Beautiful.Copy !req
550. I stopped smoking. I'm starvin'.Copy !req
551. - Dad, pass the syrup.
- Here, here.Copy !req
552. Rose, you gave me
the wrong plate.Copy !req
553. Where's the rest of my
eggs and my home fries?Copy !req
554. These are the rest of your
eggs, these are your home fries,Copy !req
555. and this is applesauce.Copy !req
556. Belinda, I can't eat all my home fries.
Want some home fries?Copy !req
557. No, thanks.Copy !req
558. Here, Monty.
Oohhh, pass them to Belinda.Copy !req
559. If you wanna lose weight,
you should start now.Copy !req
560. Ooh, food.Copy !req
561. - It's a tough give-up.
- Allison, eat.Copy !req
562. Allison, you gotta eat.Copy !req
563. I know marriage is rough.Copy !req
564. It's not all moonlight and canoes.
That's in the movies.Copy !req
565. - I don't wanna talk about it.
- What's the matter with you?Copy !req
566. You don't eat.
You don't talk to no one.Copy !req
567. You lock yourself in
your room all night.Copy !req
568. The way you're carrying on,
you'll never meet another guy.Copy !req
569. What'd I say?Copy !req
570. "You'll never meet another guy."Copy !req
571. Take out the garbage.Copy !req
572. Take out the garbage.Copy !req
573. I didn't even eat, I
gotta take out the garbage.Copy !req
574. Hi.Copy !req
575. She ain't worth $10 million.Copy !req
576. $5 million, maybe.Copy !req
577. Hey, not here! Not here!Copy !req
578. I'm your new neighbor, Bill
Jones. You can call me Bill.Copy !req
579. Not here! Why don't you take
him on your property, huh?Copy !req
580. Take it easy, you interrupt
King's business he gets very upset.Copy !req
581. What makes you think I
wanna inherit his business?Copy !req
582. If you feel so bad,
I'll clean it up.Copy !req
583. Sure.Copy !req
584. So you're Monty Capuletti.
Congratulations on your daughter's wedding.Copy !req
585. Some party, I heard about.
What am I telling you for, you were there.Copy !req
586. Look, I'm your next door neighbor now,
so we gotta get to be good buddies.Copy !req
587. I wanna have a relationship. Most important
thing for us, we gotta have a good rapport.Copy !req
588. Wait till you meet Ginger.
She's my better half.Copy !req
589. I already saw your better half.
In fact, I saw more than half.Copy !req
590. She's a dynamite girl. I met her
in Vegas a couple of years ago.Copy !req
591. Oh, man, she's a loving,
caring, sharing person.Copy !req
592. Someone maybe one day you
can become friendly with.Copy !req
593. I needed you two to
move in next door.Copy !req
594. I'm nervous enough this morning.
Are you kiddin'?Copy !req
595. Nervous, maybe you
need a little smoke.Copy !req
596. Little ups, little downs, little something.
I got anything you need.Copy !req
597. What are you talkin' to
me about drugs for?Copy !req
598. I got my daughter here.
She's 12 years old.Copy !req
599. Look, you got a connection in
the family already, stick with it.Copy !req
600. But just this once, I'll tell you what, my friend.
Let me be Santa Claus.Copy !req
601. There's one, two, from me to you.
We'll take a hike. Come on pouchy.Copy !req
602. One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.Copy !req
603. Two, four, six, eight, ten.
Two, four, six, eight, ten.Copy !req
604. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
605. But daddy,
jogging's good for you.Copy !req
606. Thanks to jogging, more people than
ever are dropping dead in perfect health.Copy !req
607. Five more.Copy !req
608. - Celebrity Pizza.
- Send over the usual. Eight pies.Copy !req
609. Two Lollo Brigidas, two
Jerry Vales, two Pavarottis,Copy !req
610. one Caruso and a Frank Nitti.Copy !req
611. - Monty, is that you?
- Yeah. I got a cold.Copy !req
612. Stay right there.
I'll get some money.Copy !req
613. C'mon, what am I asking for?Copy !req
614. One slice.
You can stay up late, all right?Copy !req
615. The top one had anchovies.Copy !req
616. All right, who's in?Copy !req
617. Come on, pick the date he blows it.Copy !req
618. Great guy you are, you know that?Copy !req
619. Can't wait till he blows it, huh?
Bettin' on it and everything.Copy !req
620. Listen to you.
What, are you some kind of altar boy?Copy !req
621. Huh? You're some influence.Copy !req
622. You gamble in front of him,
you drink in front of him.Copy !req
623. Hey, Monty see, Monty do,
you know.Copy !req
624. Hector, Hector. Don't push me.Copy !req
625. Listen to me. It's gonna work.Copy !req
626. See these pennies?Copy !req
627. You take these pennies, you throw 'em
at the window, and I'll be in the bush.Copy !req
628. I saw it in a movie once.
It's gonna work perfect.Copy !req
629. If you need any help, just listen to
what I'm gonna tell you to say.Copy !req
630. Go on. Go get 'em.Copy !req
631. - Where you going?
- I'll be in the bush.Copy !req
632. Throw the pennies.Copy !req
633. - You're gonna be behind the bush?
- I'll be right here.Copy !req
634. Who's there?Copy !req
635. Hey. How are you?Copy !req
636. I was just, uh-Copy !req
637. I was in the neighborhood,Copy !req
638. and thought I'd stop by,
see what's cooking.Copy !req
639. - That Julio?
- Yeah.Copy !req
640. - What do I say?
- Tell her to come down.Copy !req
641. Prove to her you're the man.Copy !req
642. Come down. I'm the man.Copy !req
643. Get tough. Tell her you're bad.Copy !req
644. - I'm bad.
- Like you mean it.Copy !req
645. Allison! I'm bad.Copy !req
646. No, no, no!Copy !req
647. Jump up and down.Copy !req
648. - I am so bad! I am so bad!
- Be angry.Copy !req
649. - Who are you talking to?
- Julio and the hedge.Copy !req
650. I'm so bad, I should be in detention.Copy !req
651. No, no. Be mean.Copy !req
652. Wave your arms.
Make believe you're angry.Copy !req
653. Listen to me.Copy !req
654. I'm not that kind of guyCopy !req
655. that's gonna start playing around
in the driveway of a tract house!Copy !req
656. I'm not gonna lose my temper
in front of the woman that I love!Copy !req
657. Get on your knees. Beg her.Copy !req
658. Tell her you're thinking
of killing yourself.Copy !req
659. No. I don't talk like that.Copy !req
660. Do you hear me?
I don't talk like that.Copy !req
661. If you know so much about women,
you talk to her.Copy !req
662. The hedge, Allison Capuletti.Copy !req
663. Allison, the hedge has a
few words to say to you.Copy !req
664. - I don't know what to say.
- Oh, now you don't know what to say!Copy !req
665. Allison, Julio's very unhappy.Copy !req
666. - You made a fool out of me!
- Get off of my ear! Let go of my leg!Copy !req
667. Saturday lunch.
I can have a piece of fruit, citrus,Copy !req
668. or four ounces of fish.Copy !req
669. I think I'll have the fruit.Copy !req
670. Sometimes with the fish,
these guys go over.Copy !req
671. What'll you have, buddy?Copy !req
672. - Two with sauerkraut and a Yoo-Hoo.
- Got it.Copy !req
673. Two with sauerkraut.
Yoo-Hoo.Copy !req
674. - What do you want, buddy?
- Nothin'. I'll just smell his.Copy !req
675. You know why I'm going
through this whole thing, Nicky?Copy !req
676. For my kids, that's why.Copy !req
677. That's the greatest love in the
world, your kids. You can't beat it.Copy !req
678. That's why you do things.
That's love, for your kids.Copy !req
679. See what I mean, see that man
over there with his kid?Copy !req
680. That's love. Look at the way he loves
the kid, bouncing him on his knee.Copy !req
681. That's love, baby,
I'll tell you that.Copy !req
682. There he is!
Thank goodness he's all right!Copy !req
683. What's going on? I'm sitting here minding
my business, he jumped on my lap.Copy !req
684. - Get away from my kid!
- Everybody calm down.Copy !req
685. - Do you have some identification, sir?
- It's in my other raincoat.Copy !req
686. Didn't I tell you to never wander
away from mommy again?Copy !req
687. Spit that out right now!Copy !req
688. Come on.Copy !req
689. It's all ready.
Come on, give it a shot.Copy !req
690. You gotta go 30 miles an hourCopy !req
691. for 15 minutes for
it to do anything.Copy !req
692. Come on, faster, faster.
Come on.Copy !req
693. Faster. You gotta get it up to speed.Copy !req
694. Faster, faster, faster!Copy !req
695. Faster. 30 miles.
Faster. Faster.Copy !req
696. - Oh, my!
- Oh, no! Oh.Copy !req
697. Come on. Keep quiet.
Keep your head down.Copy !req
698. - Is my hair too flat?
- No.Copy !req
699. You look great. Come on.Copy !req
700. Come on, Julio.
Okay. Gimme that.Copy !req
701. It's locked.
Let's go play Space Invaders.Copy !req
702. No. We'll go up the drain pipe.Copy !req
703. Don't worry about it.
Everything's gonna be all right.Copy !req
704. - I will not. I won't go up that way.
- All you gotta do is climb up.Copy !req
705. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
706. You can do it! You bad!Copy !req
707. I had to hook up with
the only virgin in New York.Copy !req
708. Didn't they teach this at school?Copy !req
709. They taught math at your school,
but you can't divide.Copy !req
710. At least I can multiply.Copy !req
711. You sure this is Allison's bedroom?Copy !req
712. I know this place like
the back of my hand.Copy !req
713. What happened?Copy !req
714. I got the back of my
hand stuck in the toilet.Copy !req
715. Listen to me.
You gotta be quiet.Copy !req
716. We gotta be quiet.Copy !req
717. - Where's the light?
- Shh!Copy !req
718. That isn't a light.Copy !req
719. That's not the light.
And this is not the light.Copy !req
720. That's the water pik.Copy !req
721. Here's the plan.Copy !req
722. I'm gonna go talk to Allison.Copy !req
723. When I leave the room, you-Copy !req
724. We're in here.Copy !req
725. Just be calm.Copy !req
726. Just be calm,
and get out the window.Copy !req
727. Ow!Copy !req
728. - I'll meet you down by the car.
- Yeah.Copy !req
729. I'll be all right.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
730. Julio!Copy !req
731. Julio!Copy !req
732. I'll have a number three
with flour tortillas.Copy !req
733. Mmm. Two of them.Copy !req
734. Um, I'll have the special.
Number one.Copy !req
735. I'll have a junior salad.
No dressing.Copy !req
736. Why don't you stop carryin' on,
huh Monty?Copy !req
737. Rate you're goin', I'll bet you a
hundred bucks you're not gonna make it.Copy !req
738. If I bet you,
then I won't make it.Copy !req
739. Just remember: when the going gets
tough, the tough get going.Copy !req
740. What if you're not tough?Copy !req
741. You gotta be strong like me.Copy !req
742. Look. What is this? Nothin'.Copy !req
743. Put it right out.
It's not gonna be my master.Copy !req
744. Gimme a light, Lou.Copy !req
745. Mmm, Monty, you gotta
have discilton.Copy !req
746. Discipline.Copy !req
747. - Can I have your olive?
- You got extra olives?Copy !req
748. You want the black one
or the green one?Copy !req
749. - Which one you want?
- It's up to you. Take the green one.Copy !req
750. Just a minute Okay, you gotta
stay still. Okay, kid?Copy !req
751. You gotta stay still.
Kid, you gotta stay still.Copy !req
752. Monty, have you ever seen a
face like that before?Copy !req
753. No. If I did, I'd remember it.Copy !req
754. Okay, I'm gonna get a real
good picture now. Okay?Copy !req
755. - Look at him! He's got my eyes.
- He's got my nose.Copy !req
756. And my sympathy. All right.Copy !req
757. We want some
wallet-size pictures too.Copy !req
758. This kid won't fit
in a wallet-size.Copy !req
759. Make 'em good pictures.
My wife's very particular.Copy !req
760. What about you, John?
He's very particular too.Copy !req
761. I'm surprised you
married each other.Copy !req
762. All right. Look, kid.Copy !req
763. I'm tired of telling you the same thing.
You gotta stay still. I'll tell you what.Copy !req
764. Anthony, I'm gonna
make a deal with you.Copy !req
765. Anthony, pay attention.Copy !req
766. You gotta stay still.Copy !req
767. If we wanna get a good picture,
we gotta stay still.Copy !req
768. We wanna get a
good picture, Anthony.Copy !req
769. Stay still. Stay still.
Help that kid out, will ya?Copy !req
770. - Talk to him, grandma.
- Here we go, Anthony.Copy !req
771. Be quiet.Copy !req
772. Stay still. Quiet, will ya!Copy !req
773. Blanche, John, grandma,
talk to him, will ya? Stay quiet!Copy !req
774. Hey, kid, be quiet, will ya?Copy !req
775. Somebody! Will you shut
the fat little bastard up?Copy !req
776. What is the law?Copy !req
777. Not to go on all fours.Copy !req
778. - That is the law.
- What is the law?Copy !req
779. Not to shed blood.Copy !req
780. His prices are insane!Copy !req
781. All we need is one pin, Rodney.Copy !req
782. Now, back to "Lost Weekend."Copy !req
783. He who breaks the law must
go to the house of pain.Copy !req
784. Back to the pain!Copy !req
785. Monty.Copy !req
786. Monty, it's 3:00 in the morning.Copy !req
787. Come to bed. You haven't had a
decent night's sleep in weeks.Copy !req
788. I don't know how to sleep.
I know how to pass out.Copy !req
789. Maybe you should see a doctor.Copy !req
790. If I see a doctor,
I'll blow the whole thing.Copy !req
791. They give you sleeping pills.Copy !req
792. You know what I do
when I can't sleep?Copy !req
793. - What?
- I knit.Copy !req
794. Maybe I'll knit myself a beer.Copy !req
795. How about some hot milk?
It'll do you good.Copy !req
796. I'll try anything.Copy !req
797. - Hot milk.
- Come on.Copy !req
798. Monty, I know what
you're going through.Copy !req
799. Do you wanna talk about it?Copy !req
800. You know your friend
Blanche Genaro?Copy !req
801. Uh-huh.Copy !req
802. Her kid Anthony, I called
him a fat little bastard.Copy !req
803. Very funny. We're laughin'
and I'm out of a job.Copy !req
804. Monty, you're a great
photographer.Copy !req
805. - You'll get another job.
- Yeah, when?Copy !req
806. Meanwhile, I got nothing to do.Copy !req
807. What do people do when
they're not getting loaded?Copy !req
808. What you have to do
is change your habits.Copy !req
809. Yeah? Who you been talking to?Copy !req
810. Mrs. Dugan. She's an expert.Copy !req
811. She had three husbands.
They all died of alcohol.Copy !req
812. She's no expert,
she's a carrier.Copy !req
813. You know what I was
thinking about today?Copy !req
814. Coney Island.
When the kids were small?Copy !req
815. Remember the time you
put Allison on the ponyCopy !req
816. and you tried to make the pony
smile to make Allison smile?Copy !req
817. - I never laughed so hard.
- That was the good old days.Copy !req
818. If I make it through this,
I'll buy you Coney Island.Copy !req
819. I don't need Coney Island.
I need you.Copy !req
820. - Hi, Nicky.
- Hi, Rose.Copy !req
821. - Hey, kid.
- Oh, yo, nick.Copy !req
822. - What are you playing, Mozart?
- Scales.Copy !req
823. Scales? Never heard of him.Copy !req
824. Rose! Rose! Rose!Copy !req
825. Hey, whoa! What are you doin'?Copy !req
826. What's going on?
What, are you crackin' up?Copy !req
827. I tell you, Nicky,
it's rough. It's rough.Copy !req
828. What's the matter
with you? What is this?Copy !req
829. Rose told me I need hobbies.Copy !req
830. I'm making a plane.
It's a messerschmitt.Copy !req
831. It's a nice job.Copy !req
832. I tell ya,
I'm fed up with everything.Copy !req
833. I wanna go to sleep and wake up four
months from now when it's all over.Copy !req
834. You know what your problem is?
This whole thing ain't real to you.Copy !req
835. You don't know what
you're coming into.Copy !req
836. Did you ever see
Monahan's Department Store?Copy !req
837. Once from the outside
when I dropped Rose off.Copy !req
838. Why don't we go see
it from the inside?Copy !req
839. What do you say, come on.
We'll have a few laughs.Copy !req
840. Huh? Come on.
I need a new shirt anyway.Copy !req
841. Rose, there's a messerschmitt in
the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?Copy !req
842. Some joint, huh?Copy !req
843. When you take over, let
me fix the bathrooms here.Copy !req
844. They don't go to
the bathroom here.Copy !req
845. See this?Copy !req
846. Could somebody help us here?Copy !req
847. I don't think so.Copy !req
848. I tell ya, my friend here,
he's look-Copy !req
849. I tell ya, my friend here,
he's lookin' for a shirt.Copy !req
850. Yeah. You have something
in a dark black?Copy !req
851. He wants something he can
wear four, five days in a row.Copy !req
852. You have any men's
shirts for men?Copy !req
853. Have you tried the
Army/Navy store?Copy !req
854. Very funny. One more word
out of you, and he gets it.Copy !req
855. Come on.Copy !req
856. Why don't you two put your heads together,
make an ass out of yourselves?Copy !req
857. Where're you goin'?Copy !req
858. It says,
"Come In And Browse."Copy !req
859. - May I help you?
- No, thank you. Just browsing.Copy !req
860. What have they got in
this place, antiques?Copy !req
861. No, those are the customers.Copy !req
862. - May I help you?
- No, thanks. Just browsing.Copy !req
863. How long do you intend to browse?Copy !req
864. That lady, you didn't ask her
how long she intends to browse.Copy !req
865. How come you're asking us
how long we intend to browse?Copy !req
866. You don't look like browsers.Copy !req
867. - What do browsers look like?
- Maybe I'm half browser.Copy !req
868. On his father's side.Copy !req
869. Nevertheless, I prefer that you
do not browse any longer.Copy !req
870. Yeah, well it's a free country.Copy !req
871. Yeah, if these people can browse,
we can browse.Copy !req
872. Nicky, let's show the
lady we're browsers, huh?Copy !req
873. Hey, look at us. We're browsing.Copy !req
874. - Hey, ducks in heat.
- Please! That's 18th century.Copy !req
875. Folks, better keep browsing
or she'll kick you out of here.Copy !req
876. - Look at us. We're browsing.
- Is this an odd or an end?Copy !req
877. Hey lady, if I buy two odds,
will you show us your end?Copy !req
878. Ohh!Copy !req
879. Security. Security! Security!Copy !req
880. - Yes?
- Mr. Barlow, please.Copy !req
881. - What is it?
- Do you know a Monty Capuletti?Copy !req
882. - Yes.
- Well, he's on his way upstairs.Copy !req
883. Is he?Copy !req
884. Gentlemen, let's shelve these
petty matters for the moment.Copy !req
885. The son-in-law of our late, beloved
president is on his way to join us,Copy !req
886. so let's just sit around
and smoke and drink.Copy !req
887. Brent, Brice!Copy !req
888. Make up your mind.
Which one of us do you like?Copy !req
889. Down the hatch.Copy !req
890. Mr. Barlow, this joker
says he knows you.Copy !req
891. This joker is part of
the Monahan family, Gus.Copy !req
892. Oh, sorry, sir.Copy !req
893. People, this is Monty Capuletti
and his friend, Nick Marino.Copy !req
894. - No need to stand.
- Monty, what brings you here?Copy !req
895. Nicky was lookin' to get a
shirt, but we couldn't find any.Copy !req
896. You got nothin' in this
store nobody wants to buy.Copy !req
897. Monahan's has an upscale clientele.Copy !req
898. All our gentlemen customers
are very conscious of style.Copy !req
899. Men don't have style.Copy !req
900. Men wear clothes.
Women have style.Copy !req
901. What sort of shirt
were you looking for?Copy !req
902. A regular shirt.Copy !req
903. See this shirt? Every guy on
our block's got one of these.Copy !req
904. You guys don't dress regular.Copy !req
905. You got on vests.
It's hot as hell here.Copy !req
906. These gentlemen and ladies were
handpicked to work for meCopy !req
907. and dress accordingly.Copy !req
908. Where'd you find these guys,
Noah's Ark?Copy !req
909. And you. There's a lot of
trouble finding your fly.Copy !req
910. I really must apologize.Copy !req
911. Monty, I've made a mistake.Copy !req
912. I didn't realize what
your true talents were.Copy !req
913. - Oh, no.
- You have such fashion sense.Copy !req
914. Everything we've been buying, wrong.
All wrong.Copy !req
915. Tell us more.Copy !req
916. - Your pants.
- Our pants.Copy !req
917. You gotta have pants
with lots of roomCopy !req
918. so when you sit down,
they don't split.Copy !req
919. And zippers that work
easy so you can fix your shorts.Copy !req
920. Know what I mean?Copy !req
921. Les slacks blousants avec le zip.Copy !req
922. Whatever you say.Copy !req
923. What about shoes?Copy !req
924. Well, you need shoes
that go on and off easy.Copy !req
925. You know, no shoe horn. And
no laces. They slow you up.Copy !req
926. Yes, I see that.Copy !req
927. Chunky, black mailman oxfords,
with adorable little white cotton socks.Copy !req
928. Big blousy bowling shirts.Copy !req
929. "Mel. The regular guy look."Copy !req
930. What?Copy !req
931. You can't be this crazy.
He looks like a rummage sale.Copy !req
932. I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
933. This is just the opportunity
I've been waiting for.Copy !req
934. You know, the boredom of unemployment
could really drive a man to drink.Copy !req
935. Yeah, so could you too.Copy !req
936. Hey, take it easy, Nicky, will ya?
Take it easy.Copy !req
937. Monty, we need a mind like yours.Copy !req
938. I'd like to offer you a position
as fashion consultant to Monahan's.Copy !req
939. Who me?Copy !req
940. I'm no fashion consultant.
What's the matter with you?Copy !req
941. Take the job.
Take the job.Copy !req
942. The first thing we do is
we fire that broad downstairsCopy !req
943. that stopped us from browsing.Copy !req
944. Get me Sergio. Track down Alfonso.
Draw up a budget for Mr. Capuletti.Copy !req
945. Let's leak the story to the press.Copy !req
946. Hello.Copy !req
947. - Mr. Capuletti, please.
- It's for you. It's your wife.Copy !req
948. Hey Rose,
they took all my clothes!Copy !req
949. When are you coming home?Copy !req
950. How can I come home?
I got nothing to wear.Copy !req
951. I'll call you later.
Here, take this.Copy !req
952. - Turn away, please.
- Next shirt.Copy !req
953. Take it easy, honey.
I got no good side.Copy !req
954. Could you please turn away?Copy !req
955. Scrape all the gum off the
soles and analyze the shoes.Copy !req
956. - Should these shorts be duplicated?
- Yes, duplicated and fumigated.Copy !req
957. Mr. Barlow, I have the
blacks for the shirts.Copy !req
958. That's Mr. Capuletti's
department now.Copy !req
959. I have midnight black,
raven black, licorice black-Copy !req
960. If Nicky was here, you'd
have black-and-blue black.Copy !req
961. Twelve inches.Copy !req
962. Boy, you're way off.Copy !req
963. Ladies and gentlemen.
Compliments of Monty Capuletti,Copy !req
964. invitations to the premiere of
Monahan's "The Regular Guy Look."Copy !req
965. Barkeeper, I'll have
a Perrier with a twist.Copy !req
966. I'm sorry. I only have
Perrier on draft.Copy !req
967. Nicholas, Patrick,
how good to see you again.Copy !req
968. I know what you're thinking.
Why am I slumming?Copy !req
969. Well, I'm here to hand-deliver
these invitations to you.Copy !req
970. But I'm not sure if
you should attend.Copy !req
971. We're his friends.
We'll be there. Gimme.Copy !req
972. Well, it's your decision
and I'm sure yourCopy !req
973. intentions are the
best, but think about it.Copy !req
974. It's not good for Monty to associateCopy !req
975. with people who do
what he used to do.Copy !req
976. - We would protect him from that.
- He's talking about us.Copy !req
977. If you really are Monty's friends,
you'll stop making it hard for him.Copy !req
978. Look at you.
You're smoking, drinking.Copy !req
979. We're in a bar.
What do you expect us to do?Copy !req
980. You must think I'm
stupid or something.Copy !req
981. I look like I just
got off a boat?Copy !req
982. I know what you're trying to do.Copy !req
983. Go ahead, get out of here you half
a sissy before I give you a slap.Copy !req
984. Hey Nicky, take it easy,
will ya?Copy !req
985. Nick, you do want Monty to
have the money, don't you?Copy !req
986. Hey, what do you let it
get to you for?Copy !req
987. He just wants the money.Copy !req
988. But what bothers
me is he's right.Copy !req
989. So he's right.Copy !req
990. Think he's right?
I mean, Nicky's his coach.Copy !req
991. He tells him eat fruit,
tells him to exercise.Copy !req
992. It's not what he says, it's
what we do. It's peer pressure.Copy !req
993. Oh, yeah. Our lives are attractive.Copy !req
994. I guess Nicky and
Paddy won't show.Copy !req
995. They didn't call, either, huh?Copy !req
996. - No.
- Tonight, we presentCopy !req
997. our tribute to the
American silhouette.Copy !req
998. Ladies and gentlemen,
"The Regular Guy Look."Copy !req
999. Jonathan and Billy are wearing the
regular guy leisure look for fall.Copy !req
1000. Bold print, double-knit
polyester pantsCopy !req
1001. with totally
non-coordinated print shirts.Copy !req
1002. Pie is wearing the
Italian restaurant look.Copy !req
1003. Perfect for picnics where you
can be your own tablecloth.Copy !req
1004. Tie has the bowling alley
sportif look.Copy !req
1005. Next up is Peter, wearingCopy !req
1006. the regular guy lounge
look in blackCopy !req
1007. on black, on black.Copy !req
1008. I think they like it.
Everyone's smiling.Copy !req
1009. You like to gamble, take a
chance on the regular guy robe.Copy !req
1010. American classic,
iridescent blue sharkskin.Copy !req
1011. That suit. Look at that suit.Copy !req
1012. Have you seen the suit-Copy !req
1013. And now...Copy !req
1014. I'd like to introduce the man
responsible for this evening.Copy !req
1015. Mr. Monty Capuletti!Copy !req
1016. Take a bow, Monty.Copy !req
1017. Fatty. Eating again,
fatty, fatty?Copy !req
1018. Fatty, fatty. Eating
again, fatty, fatty?Copy !req
1019. Fatty, fatty, fatty-Copy !req
1020. - Who put this in here?
- I was only trying to help.Copy !req
1021. Well don't help.Copy !req
1022. I'm tired of people
trying to help me.Copy !req
1023. - Monty, calm down.
- What are you lookin' at?Copy !req
1024. Go upstairs and clean your room.
It's a pigsty.Copy !req
1025. Leave me alone!Copy !req
1026. - I know what you're thinkin' too.
- Oh, god.Copy !req
1027. All I ever wanted
was a happy family.Copy !req
1028. That's all I ever asked
for, a happy family.Copy !req
1029. A family that loved each other.
I never cared about anything else.Copy !req
1030. Stop it, will ya.
I can't take it no more.Copy !req
1031. Money caused all this.Copy !req
1032. I don't wanna be rich.
We're not supposed to be rich.Copy !req
1033. We don't look rich, we don't
talk rich, we don't smell rich!Copy !req
1034. No more rich! I want our
house to be the way it was.Copy !req
1035. Hey, fatty, fatty.Copy !req
1036. - Monty, where are you going?
- I'll be at Louie's.Copy !req
1037. Gettin' drunk!Copy !req
1038. Take this, Julio.
Go and get her.Copy !req
1039. She's your wife.
Go ahead, go get her.Copy !req
1040. Right, she's my wife.Copy !req
1041. A gun. I don't want a gun.Copy !req
1042. Go back and get her, Julio.Copy !req
1043. Go back and get her.Copy !req
1044. I must've been nuts
to do this for-Copy !req
1045. Oh, look who's here.Copy !req
1046. I want her back, man.
She's mine.Copy !req
1047. Put that thing away.
You'll hurt yourself, will ya.Copy !req
1048. Look, I'm in no mood for you.Copy !req
1049. In fact, there is no
mood for you.Copy !req
1050. Nurse! Where is she?Copy !req
1051. They're never here
when you need 'em.Copy !req
1052. Boy, oh, boy.Copy !req
1053. Oh, nurse, you're here.
Where were you, huh?Copy !req
1054. Three hundred and fifty
bucks a day, where are ya?Copy !req
1055. Where are ya?Copy !req
1056. Look at this.
I'm dying of thirst here.Copy !req
1057. Hey, how ya doin'?Copy !req
1058. I heard about
your unfortunate incident.Copy !req
1059. Where were you
when I needed you?Copy !req
1060. I came to make up. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1061. All right, Nicky, we're friends.
We're friends, all right?Copy !req
1062. It must be tough eatin', huh?Copy !req
1063. Eatin'. You should see
me go to the bathroom.Copy !req
1064. - Monty! Hi, Nicky. We're back.
- Rose, you're here.Copy !req
1065. How's our patient today?
Oh, he looks much better.Copy !req
1066. How did you sleep?Copy !req
1067. Are you kiddin'?
I was up all night.Copy !req
1068. Well, let's look at the chart.Copy !req
1069. He was hit in the fleshy
area of the gluteus maximus.Copy !req
1070. Ah, you're wrong.
He got me in the ass.Copy !req
1071. No vital areas were damaged.Copy !req
1072. - No doubt he'll recover.
- How long do I have to be here?Copy !req
1073. Let me see now. Perhaps we
might have to keep you hereCopy !req
1074. for four, maybe five weeks.Copy !req
1075. Rose, I'm not hangin'
here for five weeks.Copy !req
1076. At least I know you're
gonna be all right.Copy !req
1077. I gotta pick up my mother at the
beauty parlor, all right.Copy !req
1078. So long, Nicky.Copy !req
1079. How are you feeling today?Copy !req
1080. You're looking good.Copy !req
1081. Oh, daddy!Copy !req
1082. I never realized how
much Julio loved me.Copy !req
1083. It was the most romantic
moment of my lifeCopy !req
1084. when he almost killed you.Copy !req
1085. Can I call you "dad" now?Copy !req
1086. Take it easy!Copy !req
1087. These are new stitches,
you know.Copy !req
1088. Why can't you
forgive and forget?Copy !req
1089. How could I forget? Every time
I sit down, I'll think of him.Copy !req
1090. Monty, how are you?Copy !req
1091. What an insensitive question.
You've been shot.Copy !req
1092. Well, this'll cheer you up.
We're a hit.Copy !req
1093. What are you talking about?
They all laughed at me.Copy !req
1094. But we're laughing now,
all the way to my bank.Copy !req
1095. Look at this. What?Copy !req
1096. We put the clothes in the window,
and the kids went crazy for it.Copy !req
1097. I don't understand it,
but, well, who cares?Copy !req
1098. The regular guy look is a big success.Copy !req
1099. You did the regular guy look?Copy !req
1100. I just bought two of your
short-sleeve pajama tops.Copy !req
1101. - Rose, I gotta get out of here.
- Daddy, this is great!Copy !req
1102. By the time you get out of the
hospital, we'll have the money.Copy !req
1103. And you'll lose weight too.Copy !req
1104. I saw the food. Monty, she's
right. Your ship's come in.Copy !req
1105. But my pier collapsed.Copy !req
1106. All right, everyone out.
Visiting hours are over. Please!Copy !req
1107. We have sick men in here.
You too, doctor. Please.Copy !req
1108. Excuse me, the two of you.Copy !req
1109. This is a hospital.
Hey, come on, let's go.Copy !req
1110. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. My good-Copy !req
1111. Excuse me. Will you get out?
Let's go, let's go!Copy !req
1112. Daddy!Copy !req
1113. - How are you, Mr. Manucci?
- Bye, Monty.Copy !req
1114. Martha's gonna take
good care of you today.Copy !req
1115. How was your lunch?Copy !req
1116. I see you haven't eaten much of it.
I don't blame you, honey.Copy !req
1117. They're trying to make
everybody up here sicker-Copy !req
1118. While I'm up here, check my oil.Copy !req
1119. Jesus.Copy !req
1120. We trust you had
a pleasant swim, sir.Copy !req
1121. Your shirt.Copy !req
1122. I don't want
that shirt. Are you kiddin'?Copy !req
1123. But sir, you should be
dressed to your station.Copy !req
1124. I don't want to wear
that shirt, all right!Copy !req
1125. Yes? This is Mr. Capuletti's
business advisor.Copy !req
1126. What can I do for you?
Better yet, what can you do for me?Copy !req
1127. Silver is down?Copy !req
1128. Call the Lone Ranger.
He'll cheer him up.Copy !req
1129. Hello.Copy !req
1130. Oil wells? Very interesting.Copy !req
1131. Meatballs, sir? No.Copy !req
1132. - Madam?
- No.Copy !req
1133. Meatball, sir?Copy !req
1134. Where's the pistachio nuts?Copy !req
1135. There's too much trouble
with the shells.Copy !req
1136. Oh, yeah? I like the shells.Copy !req
1137. Hmm.Copy !req
1138. You got any salami or provolone?Copy !req
1139. Salami, salami. Provolone.Copy !req
1140. Give it to him.Copy !req
1141. Why don't you get some sun
and come back next week?Copy !req
1142. Julio?Copy !req
1143. Julio?Copy !req
1144. Julio.Copy !req
1145. Julio.Copy !req
1146. Oh, you bad boy.
You were hiding from me.Copy !req
1147. - No.
- I found you now.Copy !req
1148. - You gonna play with me?
- Not again.Copy !req
1149. - Look what I wore just for you.
- Allison, I'm exhausted.Copy !req
1150. Chapter six, "El Joyo."Copy !req
1151. - You hired a captain?
- Yep. Everything's taken care of.Copy !req
1152. - He know how to get to Coney Island?
- Yeah, I told him. It's easy.Copy !req
1153. Here, I'll show you.Copy !req
1154. You go north up the Atlantic,
west into the Hudson.Copy !req
1155. Come to the statue of that
broad, you hang a right.Copy !req
1156. Takes 20 minutes, a
half hour with traffic.Copy !req
1157. Tell him to shove off as soon as I
sign those papers with Scrappleton.Copy !req
1158. What's that, a fire drill?Copy !req
1159. - It's lunch. Come on.
- I'm starving. Let's go.Copy !req
1160. Oh daddy, I just saw
the cutest little dingy.Copy !req
1161. Allison, you're married to Julio.Copy !req
1162. This is the life, huh?Copy !req
1163. And they say money
can't buy happiness.Copy !req
1164. At least you can pick
your own kind of misery.Copy !req
1165. Clive, you're the only one
who hasn't seen my stitches.Copy !req
1166. Want to take a look?Copy !req
1167. Ooh. Ooh. Ahh!Copy !req
1168. Oh, no! Ahh!Copy !req
1169. Excuse me.Copy !req
1170. Mr. Daniel Scrappleton, sir.Copy !req
1171. Hey, Scrappy, show me
that dotted line, huh?Copy !req
1172. And Mrs. Kathleen Monahan.Copy !req
1173. Oh, no!Copy !req
1174. My god! It's mother.Copy !req
1175. She's back from the dead.
She's better than Houdini.Copy !req
1176. I've never felt
better in my life!Copy !req
1177. Grandma, did you
bring me anything?Copy !req
1178. A hat just like mine.Copy !req
1179. You never felt better?
You were in a plane crash.Copy !req
1180. - There was no crash.
- I made up the whole thing.Copy !req
1181. Why?Copy !req
1182. Rose, I did it for
you and the grandchildren.Copy !req
1183. Someone had to stop
Monty's debauchery.Copy !req
1184. He was going to hell in a
hand basket.Copy !req
1185. Yes, quite true.Copy !req
1186. - And to test you as well.
- You failed!Copy !req
1187. - I'll kill her. I'll kill her!
- Take it easy.Copy !req
1188. I'll kill her! I'll kill her!Copy !req
1189. I'll kill her! Let me go!Copy !req
1190. Boy, you got some
nerve still being alive.Copy !req
1191. I went through this
whole thing for nothin'?Copy !req
1192. No, not for nothing, Monty.
You proved yourself to me.Copy !req
1193. And to make sure that you stay
on the straight and narrow,Copy !req
1194. I'm moving in with you.Copy !req
1195. - What's for dessert?
- Spumoni, miss.Copy !req
1196. Your favorite, Monty.Copy !req
1197. Shrimpton, none for Mr. Capuletti.Copy !req
1198. - Right, mom.
- And Shrimpton.Copy !req
1199. Mr. Capuletti is
skipping the coffee too.Copy !req
1200. It'll keep me awake,
right, mom?Copy !req
1201. Right, dear.Copy !req
1202. And Shrimpton, I noticed a bottle
of beer in the refrigerator.Copy !req
1203. - Get rid of it.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
1204. Right again, mom.Copy !req
1205. Well, I guess that's it for me.Copy !req
1206. I think I'll go out and walk
off all these vegetables.Copy !req
1207. And after that it's bedtime.Copy !req
1208. - Good night, honey.
- Good night, sweetheart.Copy !req
1209. - And Shrimpton?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
1210. You better get rid of that
glazed fruit too. It's fattening.Copy !req
1211. Certainly, sir.Copy !req
1212. - Good night, Belinda.
- Good night, daddy.Copy !req
1213. Good night, mom.Copy !req
1214. Hey, mom. That perfume
is driving me crazy.Copy !req
1215. I think I married Rose
to get to you, huh?Copy !req
1216. Good night, all.Copy !req
1217. Rose, he's a changed man.Copy !req
1218. - Finally, you've got a good marriage.
- We had a good marriage before.Copy !req
1219. Yes, but now you're
married to a human being.Copy !req
1220. I don't mind telling you,
I'm proud of what I did.Copy !req
1221. It wasn't easy,Copy !req
1222. but now I've got
him under control!Copy !req
1223. Where's the pizza? I'm starving!Copy !req
1224. - Monty, where you been?
- We're keeping it warm for you.Copy !req
1225. Wait a minute. Don't
get grease on the cards.Copy !req
1226. Gimme the red pepper, will you?Copy !req
1227. Gimme a napkin.Copy !req
1228. - So what'd you tell her tonight?
- Tonight?Copy !req
1229. I told her her perfume
is driving me crazy.Copy !req
1230. Then I told her I married
Rose to get to her.Copy !req
1231. Gimme a beer.Copy !req
1232. My mother-in-law.
For years I wouldn't kiss her face,Copy !req
1233. I ended up kissin' her ass.Copy !req