Eagle vs Shark (2007)

1. "Lily...

2. I brought you here today to ask you a very special question."

3. What is it?

4. "Well, I've never felt this way about anyone before."

5. Same, but it feels really natural.

6. "Yeah, same. I feel that, too.

7. "Now, Lily...

8. will you be my girlfriend?"

9. Yes.

10. Yes, I will.

11. "Awesome.

12. "You have made me the happiest man

13. "in the whole restaurant.

14. I love you."

15. I love you, too.

16. - Hi. - Hello. Welcome to Meaty Boy. I'm Lily.

17. - Can I take your order? - What?

18. Hello, I'm Lily. Welcome to Meaty Boy. Can I take your order?

19. Uh, yeah, just a medium Meaty Meal, please.

20. Sure. Could I interest you in the Crazy Burger?

21. There's meat and then bread and then more meat.

22. It's like an inside-out burger.

23. No, just the Meaty Meal.

24. I'll just go get that for you.

25. Kaylie, can I have a medium Meaty Meal?

26. - Take away. - Okay, Lily. I'll just make it, OK?

27. - Yep.

28. - Hi, Tony. - Hi.

29. Hey, Jenny, how you doing?

30. - Thanks, Kaylie. - Okay.

31. Thanks very much for dining at Meaty Boy.

32. Please come back again. Bye.

33. What size are you now?

34. Keep up the good work, Meaty Girl.

35. Hi, I'm Jenny. Welcome to Meaty Boy. How can I help you?

36. I'd like a Big Boy Meal, please.

37. Oh, no, you guys can't come over here 'cause my till's broken.

38. Can you please go over there?

39. That's $5.

40. Please not me. Please not me...

41. Like I said, it's management.

42. They make these decisions.

43. Please not me. Please not me.

44. Sorry, Lily.

45. - It's okay. - Okay, guys, let's get back to work.

46. Sorry. It's unlucky.

47. - You can finish up the week. - Yeah.

48. The shark is often a solitary animal.

49. Its only social contact...

50. No, no. No.

51. You've eaten already.

52. Winston's tryin' to eat my fish and chips.

53. Cute.

54. considerable distance by the distressed or wounded.

55. That sounds really cool.

56. Oh, no.

57. - Here.

58. I got the idea when Winston tried to eat my fish.

59. Thanks, Damon. I like that a lot.

60. I'm really sorry you lost your job.

61. They don't know what they're missing.

62. And if Mum and Dad were alive, they'd say the same thing, so...

63. Thanks, Damon.

64. Well, it's true.

65. Good night, sis.

66. Good night.

67. Hello. I'm Lily McKinnon. Welcome to Meaty Boy.

68. What would you like to eat today?

69. A Big Boy Burger Meal, I bet.

70. Yes. A Big Boy Burger meal, please.

71. Okay.

72. Do you want the big fries?

73. - No. - It's free.

74. I'll give them to you, the big size, free.

75. You'll save $1.50. Free.

76. Um, okay.

77. Do you want cheese on your burger?

78. - No, thanks. - It's free, too.

79. I'll give it to you. You'll save 60 cents.

80. No, thanks. No.

81. Why? It's free cheese.

82. Can't eat cheese.

83. Oh, OK. No cheese.

84. I'll just go and get that for you, then.

85. Okay, order up! Kaylie, one Big Boy Burger Meal, please!

86. Hold the cheese and one large fries!

87. Come on, guys, let's try and make this happen!

88. You work at Screen Blasterz, eh?

89. - Yeah. - Yeah, I know that.

90. Here you go.

91. Hey, do you know that chick Jenny?

92. Yeah. She's my best friend.

93. Would you be able to give her this?

94. It's an invitation to my party.

95. - Oh, cool. - Yeah, it's gonna be pretty cool.

96. You get to dress as your favorite animal. And there's gonna be games.

97. My friend has a helmet, and he's gonna let us chuck shoes at his head.

98. Oh, cool.

99. Yeah. So, thanks for the fries.

100. Bye.

101. Um, Jenny,

102. a guy came in today with this invitation to give to you.

103. It's for a party, for an animal party.

104. - An animal party. - Yeah. You go dressed as your favorite animal.

105. I think it's gonna be really cool.

106. Do you think there's any potential way that I could come with you?

107. Oh, yeah, cool. That sounds really cool.

108. Dyke.

109. Cool costumes.

110. - Thanks. - I'm Duncan.

111. - Hi. - Hi.

112. Can you guess what I am?

113. - Snake? - Yes.

114. Hey, Jarrod. This is Jarrod.

115. - He's my flat mate. - Hi.

116. - Who are you guys? - I'm Lily.

117. - She gave you free fries. - Damon.

118. Oh, yeah. I got some free fries.

119. - Cool. - Oh, yeah, told you, eh?

120. Yeah, you told me.

121. Where's that chick Jenny?

122. Why isn't she here?

123. Um, she's a lesbian. She went to a lesbian party.

124. Typical.

125. Awesome.

126. Oh, well, it's getting too crowded here anyway.

127. - I like your costume. - Thanks.

128. It's pretty much the second-best outfit here.

129. So, your favorite animal's a shark?

130. - Yep. - Pretty cool. I almost came as a shark, actually,

131. but then I realized that an eagle's slightly better.

132. - What are you supposed to be? - Tarantula.

133. - 7:00, Jarrod. - Okay, let's do this thing.

134. - What's happening? - It's a Fight Man competition.

135. Come on!

136. - Cool. - It's neat.

137. It's a knockout tournament.

138. The finalist gets to fight Jarrod,

139. but you most probably won't win.

140. - He's the undefeated champion. - You both competing?

141. Um, yep.

142. You?

143. Oh, no, I'm just a spectator.

144. What's your combat name?

145. What?

146. You know, your combat name for when you're competing.

147. Jarrod, he's Eagle Lord.

148. And I'm Blaze.

149. Um, mine's the Dangerous Person?

150. Okay.

151. Fight Man!

152. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the second annual Fi—

153. - Third. - Third annual Fight Man competition.

154. First up, we have Valkyrie Blood and the Ice Elf Queen.

155. Let's fight, man.

156. Fight!

157. Tony, right? You're up.

158. Fight.

159. Destroy him.

160. Uh, next up is Dangerous Person.

161. Sharky?

162. Choose your destiny.

163. Who are you?

164. Destroy her.

165. Aww.

166. Outstanding.

167. That girl sure knows how to play her video games, bro.

168. She's all right.

169. Amazing. Primo. Fantastic.

170. - Flawless victory. - Fuck!

171. - Good stuff, Lily. - You're good.

172. Okay, so that's the end of the list and we're into the finals now.

173. Dangerous Person will take on last year's champion

174. and the year before last's champion— Eagle Lord.

175. G'day.

176. Nice, but no cigar.

177. Kill her.

178. - You win. Yeah.

179. I knew nobody could beat Jarrod.

180. You're still the best, man.

181. It's time for my game.

182. Hey, impressive fighting, Dangerous Person.

183. - Thanks. - Where'd you learn to play like that?

184. I don't know. I guess I just got into it.

185. Hmm. You had some pretty cool moves

186. for someone who'd never played before.

187. Takes more than cool moves to defeat a champion.

188. Don't forget that.

189. This is a plane I made.

190. Cool.

191. Guitar, emery-board fret board.

192. Painted eggs.

193. Jewelry.

194. Watch wallet.

195. Wow.

196. This is the area where I make my candles.

197. Flame within a flame. Conceptual.

198. Giant pencil.

199. Ancient coin.

200. Probably sell these to the Muslims.

201. Sell this one to the Yanks.

202. - Make a mint. - Cool.

203. I guess I've gotta keep creating, or I'll just die.

204. Wow.

205. So, who's that tarantula guy? Is that your boyfriend?

206. Oh, no, he's my brother.

207. He's a cartoonist,

208. and he's very good at accents and impressions.

209. My brother's dead.

210. Oh, I'm sorry.

211. My parents are dead, too.

212. Yeah, well, my mum's dead as well.

213. How did your parents die?

214. - Heart attacks. - Were they too fat?

215. Oh, no. My dad died when he was 72,

216. and then my mum died

217. because she really missed him.

218. Yeah, well...

219. my mum got kicked in the head by a cow.

220. Can't go near cows now 'cause of that,

221. 'cause I think about her too much.

222. So sorry 'bout your mum and your brother.

223. It's cool.

224. You're pretty beautiful.

225. Same.

226. I mean, you are, too, but sort of more handsome.

227. - Do you wanna kiss? - Yep.

228. On the lips, though?

229. - Yep. - Okay.

230. Do you wanna have a lie-down on my bed?

231. - Yep. - Okay.

232. Do you wanna have sex?

233. Um, yep.

234. Sorry.

235. Hello?

236. Hello. Is Eric there, please?

237. - Who's speaking? - The police.

238. Hello?

239. You're fuckin' dead, you fuckin' Samoan fuck.

240. Who is this?

241. - Oh, hi. - What are you doing here?

242. I just had a sandwich and I was, you know, nearby.

243. That was some pretty good sex last night.

244. Okay, well, I'm going back to work.

245. Okay, bye.

246. - See ya. - See ya.

247. Uh, what are you up to tonight?

248. Um, I don't know.

249. I might go to a movie. You can come if you want.

250. It's the new Wolverine movie. It's got Hugh Jackman in it.

251. Apparently, I look like him. Gets pretty tiresome.

252. "Hey, Jarrod, you look like Wolverine."

253. Sometimes I wish I did have knives that came out of my fists.

254. Anyway, it's 7:30 at Cine-saurus Rex, if you wanna come.

255. - You can come. I don't care. - Yep.

256. - Okay. Okay, see ya. - See ya.

257. - Um, Jarrod? - Yeah?

258. - Eagle, eh? - What?

259. Your favorite animal, eagle?

260. Yeah, or cobra.

261. But, yeah, pretty much eagle rules.

262. Okay, see ya.

263. See ya.

264. - Hey. - Hi.

265. Yeah, so, I didn't end up going to that movie. Did you?

266. - Yeah. Um, no. - I knew it.

267. How did you find out where I live?

268. I got my flat mate to ring up your work,

269. tell them it was an emergency.

270. You probably shouldn't go in there. They think you're dead.

271. Yeah, I had to be alone.

272. I got depressed about something.

273. I suffer from depression.

274. Fifty. Break.

275. Yeah, it makes me pretty intense.

276. I just do stuff without thinking.

277. What's wrong?

278. I need to go home, to my hometown.

279. - That sounds cool. - No.

280. It's not cool. It's necessary.

281. Why?

282. Because of my mission.

283. It's time to put my training into use.

284. What do you have to do?

285. Kill a man, probably.

286. - Who? - Eric Elisi. He's Samoan.

287. Why? What did he do?

288. Nearly ruined my life, that's all.

289. He was my high-school nemesis.

290. He's been living in Samoa,

291. but I just heard from my contact

292. that he's gonna be home soon.

293. When he gets back,

294. guess who's gonna be forming the welcoming party.

295. You?

296. You got it, girl.

297. What exactly are you gonna do to him?

298. I'm gonna kick his Samoan ass, that's what.

299. It's time to pay the piper.

300. He's gonna reap what he sowed and it sure ain't corn.

301. - Or wheat. - When are you going?

302. That's the fucking point. I can't leave!

303. Sorry.

304. I told you, I just snap sometimes. It's my depression.

305. Sorry.

306. - Why can't you leave? - 'Cause I don't have any wheels.

307. How the hell am I gonna get there if I got no wheels?

308. - On a bus? - I'm not gonna take a damn bus.

309. It'll take ages. I'll get there in, like, two weeks or something.

310. - Why don't you hire a cab? - Okay, sure.

311. Have you got, like, a million dollars for me?

312. - What about Damon? - Who?

313. - My brother? - Oh, yeah. Sorry.

314. He's got a car. He's got a Ford Laser.

315. Shall I ask him?

316. Yeah.

317. Damon, would it be all right if we borrowed your car

318. to take Jarrod to his hometown?

319. Yes.

320. - He said yes. - I heard.

321. Thanks, man. You're cool.

322. Horse.

323. Damn!

324. I've got 14 now. You've only got 8.

325. You're too good.

326. How many have you got, Jarrod?

327. None.

328. - Horse. - Damn.

329. I don't— I don't even get it.

330. Just whenever you see a horse, you say, "horse,"

331. and whoever in the end has the most horses wins all the horses?

332. Well, not so much, really. Just like, pretend?

333. Yeah, but it's not even a real game.

334. I don't really want to play this game anymore, Damon.

335. It's dumb.

336. Hey, so, what'd the Samoan guy do to you?

337. Damon, that actually might be personal.

338. It's cool.

339. Him and some of the other guys from school used to gang up on me.

340. I used to be a bit of a nerd.

341. Would have been okay one-on-one.

342. Even one on two, me against two of them,

343. but I'd usually have to fight, like, eight of them.

344. That's awful.

345. Sometimes my brother would help out,

346. and then we'd kick some serious ass.

347. But, usually, they'd find me when I was alone.

348. And I'm like, "Oh, okay.

349. "Now I have to fight eight of you.

350. Come on, then, bring it on."

351. Anyway, I don't really want to talk about it.

352. Jarrod...

353. Get out of the car.

354. I need your clothes and your boots

355. and your motorcycle.

356. - Know who that is? - Arnie.

357. It's Arnie.

358. He sounds just like him.

359. Hey, bought some apples for you guys.

360. Thanks. I'll have mine later.

361. Oh, yuck. This is rotten.

362. Thanks very much for trying to kill me, Damon.

363. So, are you gonna introduce us?

364. - This is Nancy, my sister. - Hi.

365. - This is Doug, her husband. - Hi.

366. This is Dad. He's my dad.

367. - This is my friend Damon. - Hello.

368. And this is Lily.

369. Lily's, like, the best female Fight Man player

370. I've ever seen.

371. - And she's a dancer. - Cool.

372. - No, I'm not. - Oh.

373. I thought you said that once.

374. I like your jackets and your pants.

375. Thanks. This is our own label.

376. Awesome Apparel.

377. It didn't really take off.

378. Which actually makes these quite rare.

379. - Really? - Yeah, you wouldn't find these in any shops.

380. We've actually got some surplus stock,

381. if you guys are keen to buy anything.

382. Oh, yeah?

383. - Are you keen? - I am.

384. Yeah?

385. Dad... I made you this.

386. Thanks, Jarrod.

387. So where are you guys gonna sleep? There's no room in the house.

388. - What about my room? - Our surplus stock's in there.

389. - What about Gordon's room? - Dad's in there.

390. - Who's in his room? - Us.

391. - Who's in your room? - Zane.

392. - And Vinny's in here. - It's not fair.

393. - Where am I supposed to sleep? - Pitch the tent.

394. I don't wanna sleep in a damn tent.

395. This is typical. No one ever thinks about me.

396. That's 'cause you're a loser.

397. You're a loser, bitch.

398. - Cockhole. - Bitch.

399. - Cockhole. Cockhole. - Bitch. Bitch.

400. - Cockhole. - Stop calling me cockhole, bitch.

401. - Cockhole. - Uhh! You're a bitch,

402. and you're gonna die of diabetes.

403. - I'm 28 years old. - Ha-ha.

404. - Hey, wow, that's you. - Ahh!

405. What? Yes.

406. That is so well done.

407. It's okay. My brother did it.

408. What's all that stuff?

409. - Stuff. - More candles.

410. Yes, rejects. Ones that aren't good enough.

411. Hey, wow.

412. It's a hand

413. - that's pointing up. - Give me that.

414. - Who gave you permission to touch that? - No one. Sorry.

415. How'd you like it if I went over to your place and just started touching everything?

416. Like your books and your oven or your computer.

417. How about I just started messing around on your computer

418. and changed all the settings?

419. Changed your bloody desktop picture?

420. I said I was sorry.

421. This candle was supposed to be for my dad,

422. but he thought it was dumb.

423. Well, I think it's cool.

424. It's a reject.

425. How did your brother die?

426. Sorry.

427. He was saving a kid from a fire at the school.

428. Wow.

429. Wow.

430. So I'll be back in a week, right?

431. Yep.

432. You need anything, you just give me a call, okay?

433. Okay, yeah.

434. Thanks, Damon.

435. Yep.

436. Ooh, wait.

437. Safety grass.

438. I'll be back.

439. See you later.

440. - Cockhole.

441. See ya. Love ya.

442. - Done.

443. I like your family.

444. Doug and Nancy are very nice.

445. They're idiots, except for my dad and me.

446. Mm, I like them.

447. Yeah, well, they're still idiots.

448. This is Mason Hutchinson.

449. He's the best computer hacker I know.

450. - G'day, Mason. - This is Lily McKinnon.

451. She's the best female Fight Man player I've ever seen.

452. Hey.

453. Down to business, Mason. Any developments?

454. When's the bastard getting back?

455. Uh, not today, but the next day.

456. Tomorrow.

457. - Yeah. - Good work.

458. How did you find out this information?

459. Uh, it's his mum. She lives in this house.

460. Good.

461. Glad he'll have someone to wipe his ass

462. when I turn him into a vegetable.

463. You've got pornography on your computer screen.

464. Oh, baby.

465. Oh, baby.

466. Oh, baby.

467. Oh, baby.

468. Oh—

469. It's got a virus.

470. Lilies.

471. Move!

472. Hi, Dad.

473. Hey, Zane, you still playing guitar?

474. Yep, yep.

475. - Me and Zane are in a band. - Wow.

476. He does the music and I dance.

477. Cool. Lily plays guitar, too. She's really good.

478. - She's good at finger-picking. - Really?

479. No, not really. I'm just sort of teaching myself.

480. And she's got a degree.

481. No, I don't.

482. So, what do your parents do?

483. - They're dead, unfortunately. - They're dead.

484. Good one, Nancy. They had heart attacks.

485. Sorry, Lily.

486. It doesn't matter.

487. She's an orphan, like Oliver Twist.

488. Well, I suppose I should say a few words.

489. Why?

490. Now we're all here, I'd just like to say

491. that I'm really happy that we're all together under the same roof.

492. It's always great to come home.

493. And I'd also like to say that this Saturday

494. I will be having a scheduled fight with Eric Elisi,

495. the Samoan.

496. Oh, he used to beat you up.

497. - And me. - Yeah, and him.

498. He was the toughest guy at our school.

499. He used to pick on quite a few people, actually.

500. Anyway, you're all invited to attend.

501. It would be great to see you there.

502. Thank you.

503. Why are you fighting him, Uncle?

504. Uh, well, Zane,

505. basically, I'm gonna restore honor to the family name,

506. to your family name.

507. - My family name's Davis, eh, Dad? - Yep.

508. - Dangerous Davis, back in the day. - Yeah, I'm a Davis, too.

509. Yeah, well, it doesn't matter, does it?

510. We're family.

511. That's what matters.

512. Why didn't you tell me you had a little girl?

513. I don't know.

514. - How often do you see her? - Not very.

515. - How old is she? - Nine.

516. - Are you married? - No.

517. What is this, Crime Watch?

518. We met at a party, we had sex,

519. and a baby came out.

520. End of story. Finito.

521. How many boyfriends have you had?

522. Three.

523. Who?

524. Sam, Sam— another Sam— and Raymond.

525. How many girlfriends have you had?

526. About five.

527. Actually, eight. I forgot some.

528. Who?

529. That's irrelevant.

530. - Lily? - Yeah?

531. You can hold my hand if you want.

532. Okay.

533. Good morning.

534. - Morning. - Hi.

535. Hey, look at all this stuff.

536. How much you reckon you'd pay

537. for all this makeup— a bag like this?

538. Mm, don't know. Maybe a hundred bucks.

539. No. All this is only $30.

540. And it's dermatologically sweet ass.

541. - Yeah, but you can have it for 20. - Cool.

542. - Five. - $25, because you're a guest.

543. Combination. Kick, punch, block, spin, double kick.

544. Kick, spin, kick, punch, double kick.

545. Okay, ball. Block.

546. Stick. Block, block.

547. Hoop.

548. Through, yes.

549. - Hey. - Hey, Trace.

550. Hey, Tracemeister.

551. Hey, let's take a break. Good work, everyone.

552. - Who's that? - Uh, that's Tracy, their dead brother's fiancée.

553. Hey, this is Lily.

554. - G'day. - Hi.

555. She's good at sports. Netball, darts.

556. - [Tracy speaking, indistinct] - Ah, thank you, Trace.

557. Hey, Tracemeister, I heard you made team captain.

558. Yeah, Naomi got run over on the weekend, so they...

559. - It's wonderful news. I'm so proud of you, Trace. - Aw, thanks.

560. Hey, Lily, show 'em your hula-hooping.

561. - No, I'm not really that good. - Yes, you are.

562. She is good. Show them.

563. Go on. They wanna see it.

564. - Why'd you drop it?

565. Sorry.

566. Dad, what do you think of my new girlfriend?

567. She's an artist and a musician, amongst other things.

568. She's pretty cool, eh?

569. I don't know.

570. Yeah.

571. Hey, what's good to buy for girls?

572. Socks.

573. - I don't know. - Vitamins.

574. Flowers, eh? Chicks like flowers.

575. - Yes. - What kind?

576. Mm, I don't mind.

577. Doesn't matter. Chicks— they just like flowers.

578. Chilly.

579. I have to dump you.

580. Okay.

581. My life's just too complicated.

582. I guess what I'm saying is, I gotta be alone right now.

583. Oh, yeah?

584. And I'm busy with the revenge mission.

585. I'm sorry. I didn't know this would happen.

586. Oh, it doesn't matter. Ha. Heh.

587. We can still be friends, right?

588. Yeah.

589. Damn it.

590. I'm too complex.

591. Hello. This is Bond, James Bond.

592. I'm away on a mission for Her Majesty's Secret Service.

593. Please leave a message, shaken, not stirred.

594. Oh, hi, Damon. It's Lily.

595. I might have to come back a little bit early.

596. Do you mind giving me a call, please, on 815-3373... 3.

597. Thanks. Bye.

598. Hello. This is Bond, James Bond.

599. I'm away on a mission—

600. Hey, bi-otch.

601. Hello? Who's this?

602. Uh, sorry. Hi. Is Eric there, please?

603. No, he's not back till later tonight. We're going to the airport.

604. We got a minivan. You wanna come?

605. No, thanks. It's okay.

606. Okay. You wanna leave a message for him?

607. Uh... yes.

608. Could you tell him

609. that justice is waiting for him?

610. is waiting for you.

611. Okay, Justin. Thank you. Bye-bye.

612. No, justice.

613. Justice.

614. - Hey, Tracy. - Hi.

615. - Can I come in? - Yeah.

616. There's no buses today. They only go on Sundays.

617. It's, like, three whole days away.

618. - I heard you broke up with Jarrod. - No.

619. - He broke up with me. - Did he?

620. Heh.

621. Well, do you wanna go out with me?

622. No, thanks.

623. Yeah, well, I wasn't even serious.

624. I was— I was joking and—

625. and you fell for it,

626. so... heh-heh...

627. I was joking.

628. Heh. I was joking.

629. I was just joking.

630. You fell for it!

631. Ha-ha. Aha!

632. Hello. This is Bond, James Bond.

633. I away on a mission for Her Majesty's Secret Service—

634. Fuck it.

635. Hi.

636. - I don't wanna go up here. - What?

637. I don't wanna go up here. Take me home, please.

638. Take me home, please.

639. I don't want to go up there!

640. That's where my Uncle Gordon died.

641. I thought he died in a fire.

642. Nah.

643. I need to go to the toilet.

644. Come on, then.

645. Come on.

646. There's my dad.

647. Here's a...

648. Ouch.

649. Have you, um, checked out our local social scene yet?

650. - No, not really. - Hmm.

651. We're going to a party tomorrow night. You can come if you want.

652. Thanks, but I'm trying to go home.

653. - You sure? - Yeah.

654. Does anybody wanna hear a joke?

655. - Yeah. - Mm.

656. Um...

657. what's the name of the Emperor of Farts?

658. What?

659. Gaseous Maximus. Heh.

660. What's so funny?

661. Oh, Lily just told a funny joke.

662. Yeah. Where have you been?

663. Just hanging out with Tracy.

664. We've been pretty much laughing the whole day.

665. Like this, but about ten times more laughing.

666. Wow, that seems...

667. Excuse me.

668. Thank you for that very lovely dinner.

669. Excuse me. Thank you.

670. Gordon, Gordon, Gordon, Gordon.

671. Heh-heh-heh.

672. Get out of here!

673. Dad, me and Tracy are going out.

674. Don't know how it happened, but...

675. it's pretty serious.

676. Whoo!

677. Just thought you should know the good news.

678. Yeah!

679. What are you doing?

680. Nothing. I'm asleep.

681. Why don't you go sleep in the tent?

682. I'm all right.

683. You go in the tent. I'll sleep out here.

684. No, you go.

685. You go. You're the lady.

686. I can handle it.

687. I got my sleeping bag. I'm good.

688. You don't complain about anything, do you?

689. There's some people in the world who don't even have sleeping bags.

690. There's a weird smell down there.

691. I don't like it.

692. I think it's probably a dead hedgehog or something.

693. It's disgusting.

694. If you get cold, you can come sleep in my tent,

695. but please don't wake me up.

696. Last thing I need.

697. You seem to be getting on pretty well with my family.

698. I told you, I like them.

699. Yeah, well, don't get too close.

700. They'll turn on you, that's for sure.

701. What was that joke you told them?

702. It was my favorite. It's one of Damon's.

703. Can you tell it to me?

704. No.

705. Mm, what are you doing?

706. Nothing.

707. You sucker. You better watch out, you fool.

708. Hey, fool.

709. Hey, fool. Sucker.

710. You foolish... foolish sucker.

711. - Better watch— - Hello?

712. Hello. Is Eric there, please?

713. Speaking.

714. Hey, sucker.

715. Who is this?

716. This is the piper,

717. and I wanna be pied— paid.

718. Paid.

719. Who's this?

720. - It's Jarrod. - Who?

721. - Lowe. - Who?

722. Jarrod Lowe. We went to school together.

723. Did we?

724. Yes. I assume you got my letter.

725. No. What letter?

726. - Invitation. - To a party?

727. - To a fight. - What fight?

728. Our fight.

729. Oh. Hold on, hold on.

730. Allison, is there any mail for me?

731. There's something here. There's a letter. Should I open it?

732. Yes. I'll call you back. It's long.

733. - Hello.

734. - Hi. It's Jarrod. - Hey there, man.

735. - Did you read it? - Yeah. Look, man, I'm sorry.

736. You will be sorry. You will be.

737. Meet me 3 p.m. at the school playground. We're gonna have a fight.

738. - Look— - No, you look and listen.

739. You better be on that playground on Saturday.

740. I'm gonna be there, ready to fight you,

741. and if you don't turn up, everyone's gonna know you're a pussy,

742. because I'm gonna tell them, fool.

743. All right, I'll be there.

744. - Okay. - Yep.

745. - Good. - All right.

746. That's all. See you later.

747. You're going too fast.

748. Jarrod.

749. Aah!

750. Jarrod, are you all right?

751. Help me up. Get this bike off me.

752. What happened?

753. I had an accident.

754. Some chick in a Trans Am. Reckless bitch.

755. What are you guys up to?

756. Nothing. Walking.

757. Aw, yeah?

758. Dad, do you wanna come with me?

759. We could hang out and train.

760. Lily and I are doing something.

761. Okay, cool.

762. I'll see you guys later, then.

763. Have a good day.

764. Who does he think he is?

765. You were right to break up with him.

766. No, I didn't break up with him. He broke up with me.

767. Aw, well, you would've, given time.

768. Take me away from here.

769. - Where? - Anywhere.

770. Help me escape.

771. Okay. Where should we go?

772. Where do you wanna go?

773. Home. I wanna go home.

774. Home's horrible. You must wanna go somewhere else.

775. Mm, don't know. Maybe Australia.

776. No, not there.

777. My ex-wife lives there.

778. What, is she alive?

779. Who cares about her? She's a lesbian.

780. Okay, don't put the blade out.

781. - Whoa. - Wow.

782. Stop the press. We got a fashion model in the house.

783. - Is that the makeup you got from us? - Yeah.

784. - And your skin's all right? - Yeah. Why?

785. - We were just wondering. - Nothing.

786. Um, I was wondering if perhaps I could potentially

787. still come to that party?

788. - Sure. - Thank you.

789. Is this sort of appropriate?

790. Just don't really have any sort of party gears.

791. Lily! Lily! Lily!

792. Did you have a nice time fucking my friend Mason Hutchinson?

793. - What? - Did you have a nice time

794. fucking my friend Mason Hutchinson?

795. Or did you do everyone at the whole party?

796. I didn't do anyone.

797. Anyway, what do you care? You've got Tracy.

798. We're not even going out. We haven't even kissed.

799. Could've if I wanted to, but I've been too busy training.

800. Where did you sleep last night?

801. - In the bushes. - Great.

802. Meanwhile, I'm up all night wondering where the hell you are.

803. I thought you were dead. You could've left me a note or something.

804. It's easy. "Dear Jarrod, don't wait up all night long.

805. I'll be sleeping in the bushes, thank you."

806. I didn't get any sleep last night, and you know it's my big day.

807. What am I gonna tell your brother?

808. "Oh, yeah, hi, Damon. Oh, your sister Lily.

809. "Oh, nah. Oh, she went to a party and got killed.

810. Here's a bit of her leg. That's all that's left."

811. You should be more careful next time,

812. 'cause I'm not gonna be there to wait up for you.

813. - I gotta go.

814. - Are you ready for your fight? - Yes.

815. I'm gonna cut his damn head off.

816. Not that you'll be there. You'll probably be off having sex with heaps of people.

817. I'll think about it.

818. Can you remind my dad to come?

819. 'Cause he might forget.

820. Hi. This is Michael Jackson.

821. Damon, it's Lily.

822. Lily, I tried to call.

823. How's it going down there?

824. It's been pretty weird.

825. Do you wanna come home? I can come and get you if you like.

826. No, no, no, it's too far. I'll just catch the bus.

827. You sure? I can leave right now.

828. No. It goes tomorrow. I'll be home in time for tea.

829. I'll make your favorite— shepherd's pie?

830. Oh, yum.

831. You gonna be okay?

832. Yeah. It's really nice to hear your voice.

833. Okay. I'm right here, okay?

834. Yeah, I know.

835. You have a shagadelic day, baby, yeah.

836. - Oh, behave.

837. - Bye. - Bye.

838. Gordon jumped off that.

839. Look at that sticking up there like a bloody tombstone.

840. So wonderful when he won.

841. I just wanted him to keep on doing better,

842. you know, to keep winning.

843. Maybe that's why he did it.

844. 'Cause of me.

845. I'll never know now.

846. My whole life is a complete disaster.

847. You know...

848. life is full of hard bits, I think, but...

849. in-between the hard bits are some really lovely bits.

850. I mean, Jarrod's a lovely bit.

851. Jarrod?

852. Yep.

853. - Jarrod... - Yeah.

854. I just don't think you know him.

855. Yes, I do. I know my family better than you do.

856. What's Jarrod's favorite animal, then?

857. - Tsk, a giraffe. - No.

858. - An octopus. - No.

859. Well, a cheetah, then.

860. No.

861. It's an eagle.

862. Okay.

863. Or a cobra.

864. Unh.

865. Good luck, Eagle.

866. What?

867. Eagle. I know.

868. There he is!

869. Kick his ass!

870. Oh.

871. Is this a trick?

872. No, it's not a trick.

873. Mason?

874. Mason, is it? Is he tricking?

875. - Can you move? - Yeah.

876. - Your legs. - No.

877. - Can you feel anything in them? - No.

878. Aah! Fuck off!

879. - You felt it. - No, I didn't.

880. - Did you feel it, or what? - No.

881. - You screamed. - Of course, I screamed.

882. You hit me with fucking numchucks!

883. - You're a cripple. - Yeah.

884. He's a cripple.

885. I don't fucking believe it.

886. Mason, why didn't you tell me?

887. - I did, kind of. - No, you didn't.

888. On the phone, before I came here, you said,

889. "When I'm finished with him, he won't be able to walk," and then I laughed.

890. Is that what you meant?

891. Yeah.

892. But I've been training. I was gonna kick your ass.

893. - When did it happen? - About a year ago.

894. - How? - Accident.

895. What kind? Car accident?

896. - No. - What kind? How'd it happen?

897. - I was skiing in Aspen— - Shut up. I don't wanna know.

898. - Listen— - Shut up. I'm trying to think.

899. - I'm sorry. - What?

900. - What did you say? - I'm sorry.

901. For all the things I did, for picking on you at school.

902. Jesus, it was such a long time ago.

903. - I'm sorry. - You ruined my life.

904. Jarrod!

905. I'll kill you!

906. Jarrod, cut it out!

907. Come here. Come here.

908. Leave him! He's had enough!

909. Hello.

910. How's it going?

911. Fucking terrible.

912. Stop following me.

913. Dance the blues.

914. It's "dance the blues," not "do the blues."

915. You're still watching me, aren't you?

916. Yep.

917. Why don't you go away?

918. Don't want to.

919. Why?

920. I mean, what a loser.

921. Yep.

922. Why are you hanging around me, you loser?

923. It's not worth it.

924. Yeah, it is.

925. Do you know we've got the same mole?

926. What mole?

927. This one.

928. See?

929. I'm a loser, aren't I?

930. Doesn't matter.

931. I have two things to say.

932. One, I'm leaving tomorrow on a bus.

933. Two, that could change.

934. Hey, Dangerous Person.

935. Lilies.

936. Oh, yeah. Wow.

937. Horse.

938. - Yes. - Damn.