Dracula (The Dirty Old Man) (1969)

1. There across the desert

2. was where I had my first experience.

3. As I looked out into the beautiful hills,

4. beyond the beautiful hills,

5. beyond the beautiful hills,

6. I saw a panorama of beautiful hills.

7. However, as beautiful as it may seem,

8. death lurked behind those beautiful hills,

9. behind the beautiful hills, behind the beautiful hills.

10. It was a day just like any other day,

11. which doesn't say much.

12. And then all of a sudden, the sky turned

13. and I saw a blue mountain back behind a blue mountain,

14. back behind another blue mountain.

15. And then I knew that I was in the land of blue mountains,

16. because by looking, I was aware that I had arrived

17. at where I was going, for which I was lost

18. in the place where I was looking.

19. But it was right here,

20. not far from these beautiful blue hills

21. behind the blue hills, behind the blue hills

22. that I found death, destruction and beautiful women.

23. I don't know which came first,

24. the beautiful women or the death and destruction.

25. It was one of those days, you know?

26. Hmm?

27. Yuck.

28. Oh, have I got to go to the bathroom.

29. I've gotta get a new interior decorator, boy.

30. Oh well.

31. But look, I got a outdoor fireplace inside.

32. Let's see, which way is it to the men's room?

33. It's around here someplace.

34. Oh well.

35. I wonder where mother is.

36. Mother, mother.

37. Oh, here she comes now, the old bat.

38. Well, I got you home safe, baby.

39. Okay, get out of the car.

40. With all the other girls at the paper,

41. I don't know why you want to pick on me.

42. Maybe you're special.

43. See you tomorrow for breakfast.

44. Hmm, let's see.

45. Now let me give a look.

46. Oh, look at the pretty tree.

47. Ooh, hello, what's that?

48. Nobody's watching.

49. I think I'll go sneak a peek.

50. Maybe if I stay a long time, I'll sneak a look.

51. Hmm, let me see.

52. I'd better look.

53. Anybody looking on me?

54. I'm a sly old devil.

55. Let's see, where the gate, where is the gate?

56. I guess I have to do the gate crashing bit.

57. All right, here we go.

58. One, two, three.

59. Oh, wasn't that fun?

60. That's it, go on.

61. Take it off, take it all off.

62. Mike, if you were here right now,

63. I could make you feel so good.

64. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

65. I could take her home for supper.

66. She looks like she's got dandruff.

67. That's a funky way to wear pants.

68. Oh, that's better.

69. There's a draft.

70. I'd better close the window before I lose my hum.

71. Well honey, did you have a good breakfast?

72. Terrific.

73. Well, good.

74. - It's right across here. - Be careful, Mike.

75. Look out for the traffic.

76. Just follow me.

77. See you tonight?

78. Where are we going?

79. Does it have to be someplace special?

80. Well, I want to know what to wear.

81. How about a very formal drive-in movie?

82. Sounds like fun.

83. Pick you up at seven?

84. Hi Joan, what's up?

85. Oh, Mr. Hillary told me to call you.

86. What have I done this time?

87. No trouble, at least not this time.

88. Thanks for small favors.

89. Yeah, from what I hear,

90. you'll probably be needing that new promotion.

91. What do you mean, from what you hear?

92. You and Ann?

93. I understand things are getting pretty thick.

94. You never can tell.

95. Well, come on.

96. We're wasting company time.

97. What else does Hillary want?

98. Well, he said for you to go out to Nelson's Landing.

99. There's a Mr. Alucard there

100. who wants to reopen the mine.

101. That's an all day trip.

102. I won't get back until late this evening.

103. Mr. Hillary said that the new owners

104. asked especially for you,

105. said he wouldn't give the story to anyone else.

106. Getting that old mine open would be a boom

107. to the people there.

108. Well, I guess I'd better get going.

109. Can I use the phone?

110. 27, please.

111. Hi honey.

112. Listen, Mr. Hillary is sending me to Nelson

113. and I won't be back until late tonight.

114. Sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to cancel our date.

115. No, it won't be too late.

116. We'll go out Thursday night, okay?

117. Well I will.

118. You too, huh?

119. I'll see you later.

120. You too, okay, bye now.

121. To go or not to go, that is the question.

122. Oh, yes.

123. As I sped towards that mine shaft,

124. little knowing what awaited me there,

125. I knew I felt like I was going to get shafted.

126. As I drew near, the sun was going down.

127. In one of these shafts, I was gonna get it.

128. Was I gonna catch it.

129. Well, I got out of my car, gingerly closed the door,

130. picked up my camera and strode up

131. to the nearest abandoned farmhouse or whatever it was.

132. I went over to the door and knocked.

133. Hello, anybody home?

134. Hello?

135. Well I knew right then and there, there was nobody home,

136. particularly when I looked and saw

137. that the building had fallen in.

138. Well, I knew this wasn't the place.

139. However, I wanted to check it out further.

140. And I said, oh, I'm sorry.

141. I saw a couple in there.

142. I didn't mean to interrupt.

143. I couldn't believe what I saw.

144. Well okay, I'll go to the other end of the field,

145. because I'm sure there was something else around here

146. that was waiting for me.

147. I left my camera because I didn't feel

148. that I could take the proper pictures.

149. I had to find the gentleman that I was looking for,

150. a Mr. Alucard.

151. Funny name, funny place to be met by someone.

152. Well, I knew it was important,

153. so as I strode along in my Stride Rite shoes,

154. I was striding toward what I strode to be,

155. beholding the side of the mountain.

156. I entered.

157. I called hello, anybody here?

158. Did somebody call me?

159. Hmm, I wonder who was calling?

160. I think I'll go out and check.

161. Door close.

162. Well, I wonder who's out there.

163. Hello, yoo-hoo, anybody here?

164. Good evening.

165. Damn, you scared me.

166. Scared the hell out of me.

167. Oh, what a dick.

168. I was checking out the place

169. and I didn't hear you come in, but now that you are here.

170. Well, my name is is Mike Waters,

171. and I was looking for the bathroom.

172. How do you do?

173. I'm sorry, but we don't have good bathing facilities here.

174. What'd you say?

175. I said we don't have good places for going here

176. in the shaft, but I want you to know that.

177. Why, you talk funny, you really do.

178. Well, don't worry about it.

179. I want you first to look, give a look.

180. You're beautiful.

181. Where am I from?

182. Transylvania, look at my team.

183. Isn't that a pretty team?

184. Hey, that's beautiful.

185. Sure is.

186. Gee whiz.

187. Yes, you do turn me on.

188. I got something for you to do.

189. Gee, that's pretty.

190. I don't have anything to say.

191. All right, take my hand and you'll find

192. I'm a stranger in paradise.

193. Come this way, please.

194. Now this is the living room.

195. It's not much to look at and it's not much to see,

196. but I guess when I get a couple more things in

197. it'll look all right, but don't be too critical.

198. We all gotta start out someplace.

199. Now these I picked up when I was over in the old country.

200. Even got bookend fire cases,

201. or is it fire cases bookends?

202. I don't know.

203. Well, anyway.

204. This guy's a real nut.

205. No, don't think that.

206. What we gonna do here?

207. I'm going to make you a deal.

208. I want for you to go out and get me every night

209. a different girl.

210. You like to do that for me, hmm?

211. You would have fun.

212. What's left over, I'll give you.

213. I'm going make you a jackalman,

214. and this is the place you'll report every night.

215. That's right.

216. So, you got that?

217. I want for you bring me a girl every night

218. and I'll make you from a novice jackalman.

219. I will promote you as you do good.

220. This guy's gotta be kidding.

221. Oh well, I'll go along with him.

222. Okay, that's very good.

223. Now you got your orders straight.

224. Now when you wake up, you ain't gonna remember nothing

225. what you heard in this place.

226. Okay, you got that boy?

227. Okay, one girl every night,

228. a little fresh blood on the side

229. and I make you a good jackalman.

230. But I'm going to give you a name first, Irving.

231. You like that?

232. Irving Jackalman.

233. That's what I'm gonna call you from now on.

234. Irving Jackalman.

235. Okay, whatever you say.

236. That's good.

237. I'm glad you understand.

238. And on the way out.

239. All right.

240. Oh God, I gotta get out of this place.

241. Irving Jackalman?

242. Don't forget Irving, one girl on the full moon time.

243. Bye.

244. Hurry back.

245. Oh, that's good, gonna have a good time now.

246. All right, get up, lid.

247. I'll take a little snooze before the girls get here.

248. Okay, close me up.

249. That's a good lid.

250. Yeah, good lid.

251. I can't believe it, I just can't believe it.

252. I dunno, maybe it's just a dream.

253. It should be a dream.

254. Well, I'm gonna go back and check it out with the office.

255. I dunno.

256. Boy.

257. Oh boy, have I got a headache.

258. What I need is a drink.

259. Oh, well.

260. Irving Jackalman, that name keeps going around in my mind.

261. Oh boy, I probably checked out.

262. Hi, Mike.

263. Hey, you got a light?

264. Thank you.

265. Hey, it's too bad you had to work overtime tonight.

266. Yeah well, I need the money.

267. Hey, I understand you and that gal you're running around,

268. you know, giggles?

269. You're gonna get married, eh?

270. I don't think so.

271. Okay, well listen, you take care, man.

272. Oh boy, do I feel lousy, headache.

273. Yeah, that's what you get for staying up late.

274. See you around, babe.

275. Yeah, okay, sure will.

276. Boy, he's nutty.

277. I could use a drink.

278. Oh well, a good night's sleep and I'll feel like a new man.

279. Oh, those stomach cramps.

280. Ooh, I gotta find a toilet.

281. Ooh, do I have to go.

282. Oh, I hope I can make it.

283. Ooh, if I could just squeeze, just squeeze, you devil.

284. I hope it's not too late.

285. I'm gonna poo right here.

286. Who's there?

287. What was that?

288. Irving Jackalman strikes again.

289. Ooh, you're doing a good job, Irving.

290. Not bad for the first time.

291. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

292. Listen, I'll take her from here.

293. I want two more for the night.

294. One for a dinner and one for supper.

295. Ooh, that's a big one.

296. Oh boy, you got a hooey there.

297. Oh boy, my first kill.

298. I'm gonna get me some more.

299. This is a big one.

300. Let's see, I'll stand her up in the corner.

301. Hmm, kind of a heavy one.

302. Oops, thank you.

303. Oops, you can't get that open.

304. There, put your hand in there.

305. That's a good girl, that's nice, lady.

306. Hmm, look at that.

307. Not bad for a novice jackalman.

308. Let me see, I'll take off this here.

309. Hmm, very nice, very nice.

310. Let me see.

311. From the looks of things, oh.

312. Oh, that's too bad.

313. Oh my darling, have you seen a doctor lately?

314. Don't be frightened.

315. Here now, don't you feel better?

316. You're lovely.

317. My goodness.

318. What a beautiful lady.

319. I'm going to introduce to you some joy

320. like you had never felt before in your life.

321. That's right.

322. First of all, I'm going to feel all over your body.

323. That's right, don't try to get away, you devil.

324. You are going to like.

325. I'm going to kiss on you a little bit here,

326. right between in the places here.

327. Ooh, hello, what is this?

328. I'm going go down and kiss you on the belly button.

329. Oh, please.

330. You're right, you know that?

331. I gotta talk to Jackalman.

332. Oh, I lost my contact.

333. It must be sticking on your skin someplace.

334. Oh, you're the devil, baby.

335. Now, what I'm going to,

336. I'm gonna give you a kiss like you wouldn't believe

337. right here in your good place.

338. Oh, that smarts!

339. There now, wasn't that nice?

340. Oh, I got me another one.

341. You wouldn't believe.

342. Oh my goodness.

343. I'm gonna get me a part of this girl here, yes, sir.

344. And away we go.

345. Hey, cool it, cowboy.

346. It's Irving Jackalman!

347. Yeah, Irving Jackalman strikes again.

348. Ooh, where'd she go, George?

349. She was here a minute ago.

350. I'll be damned.

351. I'll have to get me another one.

352. Oh well.

353. Come to me, my melancholy baby.

354. Thank you.

355. Ooh look, another one.

356. Oh well.

357. This looks like a little better from the first.

358. You can't tell much with the clothes on.

359. Okay, you stand there now.

360. That's good, good lady.

361. Let's see what we got here.

362. Oh, she don't go no, yeah she do.

363. Come off with that, thank you.

364. Put your hand up, darling.

365. Is that too tight on you, hmm?

366. Tie you up here, which knot is it?

367. Yeah, this is the right way.

368. Now, let's see what Irving Jackalman brought me this time.

369. I hope he keeps up this good work.

370. I'm going to promote him to second class jackal.

371. Don't be alarmed, baby.

372. Oh say, that's better than the first one,

373. I'll tell you that.

374. Oh, you like that.

375. I'll give you a little squeeze.

376. Excuse me, I'm gonna take this off.

377. I don't want it getting in the way.

378. What did you to to me?

379. You got funny looking hair.

380. When was the last time you shampooed?

381. I will squeeze again.

382. I'm gonna do the same thing with the first lady.

383. You'll love it, you will, you will.

384. Just keep telling yourself you'll like it, you'll like it.

385. - All right, all right. - I like it, I like it.

386. See, that wasn't hard, was it?

387. No, you're right, it wasn't.

388. That's right, buttercup.

389. Let's see here.

390. Boy, I've got to get my glasses fixed.

391. I can't see nothing without my glasses.

392. Oh, there she is.

393. Ooh, look at there.

394. You like that, eh?

395. Bitey old bat.

396. What are you knocking off on me for?

397. That's what you get for knocking garbage on me.

398. I'll take you out of my way here.

399. Where'd she go?

400. - Over this way. - I'm gonna get you.

401. - Here I come. - Right this way.

402. Ready or not, here I come.

403. You can't get away from me.

404. Oh, I got you.

405. You're it.

406. Take off your clothes.

407. This is the first time that I have failed.

408. Don't struggle, don't struggle.

409. Like it, like it.

410. Let me give you hand.

411. All right, how's that, okay?

412. Where'd she go?

413. Oh, here we go.

414. I can't see out of this thing here.

415. That's nice, oh, that's good.

416. Don't roll away.

417. Like me a little bit, maybe?

418. Take your panties off.

419. Ooh, I love you.

420. Right through the pants.

421. Yum yum.

422. Oh, coming around.

423. Not your turn.

424. Say, are you engaged or anything?

425. No, I gotta shave, though.

426. Once a month I get this way, you know?

427. Oh, it's terrible.

428. You like it, huh?

429. You like?

430. My name is Irving Jackalman.

431. What's yours?

432. I'm a novice jackalman.

433. You devil.

434. You're playing hard to get, aren't ya?

435. You wild crazy gypsy.

436. You know what you need.

437. Oh, that's nice.

438. Just a little kiss.

439. I went too deep again.

440. Oh well, it's back to novice jackalman again.

441. I hope Alucard doesn't see this.

442. One final squeeze and I'm off.

443. It's too bad you can't enjoy this, huh?

444. Is this really how they give artificial respiration?

445. Makes me breathe hard, though.

446. Boy, she's like a log.

447. Well, thanks a lot.

448. She didn't even give green stamps.

449. Easy come, easy go.

450. What a wild party, huh?

451. Oops.

452. It's a trashy place.

453. - A flat tire. - Another one!

454. Nobody around to save me.

455. I'm gonna sneak out of here.

456. Oh, here comes a car.

457. Hi honey, need a lift there?

458. Listen, what do you mean by that?

459. Look, get in the car, having a little breaky with me.

460. I've got car trouble, that's all.

461. Just go away and leave me alone.

462. I know you got car trouble.

463. Get in the car, I'll take you down to the garage.

464. What are you, some kind of a masher or something?

465. Boy, nuts.

466. That's all they got around this place, nuts and more nuts.

467. Hi there, may I help you?

468. I've got some car trouble

469. and I just simply don't know how to fix it.

470. This wind is killing me.

471. Gee, I'd love to help you out lady,

472. but if you want to use the restroom, that's fine,

473. but I can't change your tire.

474. Where's the telephone booth?

475. - The what? - The telephone booth.

476. It's over there, see?

477. All right, thank you.

478. What can I do for you?

479. One gallon?

480. I've gotta go to the ladies' room.

481. Pardon me.

482. I'm gonna hide over here.

483. Must be a private call.

484. A bird in the bush is worth one in the booth.

485. I think I'll hide over there,

486. I might be able to catch her when she comes out.

487. Here she comes.

488. Now if I could just.

489. Oh, damn.

490. Hi there.

491. You can't go to the ladies' room.

492. I got me another, I got me another.

493. Oh boy, will my count be happy.

494. I wonder if he'll even let me keep this one.

495. Ooh, you have brought me another beauty.

496. Well yeah, you could call her that.

497. Don't be afraid, darling.

498. I am Count Dracula, which is Alucard backwards,

499. so you can call me Ali.

500. - Don't do that. - Ow!

501. You see, that's just a sample of what you're gonna get.

502. I'll take her now from here, please.

503. You like her, you like her, count?

504. You like her, huh, huh?

505. Can I get this one?

506. Can I have this one?

507. Oh, you're gonna take her clothes off, huh?

508. Of course I'm going to take her clothes off, you dummy.

509. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

510. Don't you worry, darling.

511. What we going to do on you regular.

512. Irving, you are doing better every time.

513. Don't you worry.

514. Now my darling, why don't you come over here and sit by,

515. oh, we're gonna play tag.

516. I'm gonna get you.

517. I miss, I miss.

518. Two little BB shots, right in the boob.

519. You're not gonna do that to me.

520. You can't get away from me, you devil.

521. You'll never get away from me.

522. I got you.

523. You're it.

524. Jackalman strikes again.

525. Find it, where is it?

526. You'll find it.

527. Keep looking.

528. What is it, count?

529. Why is it they all go to sleep?

530. That is because you are not a good guy yet.

531. You gotta learn where to bite.

532. Find the other one.

533. Give her a bite like she wouldn't forget.

534. What, you gonna hang that one up?

535. Thank you.

536. I did good, huh boss?

537. Pretty good, huh?

538. I'm tired, I'm pooped.

539. Boy, am I pooped.

540. Well now, let's see what we got going on here now.

541. You know, you keep this up, you devil you,

542. I'm going to make you a real nice supper.

543. Are you hungry?

544. No?

545. Oh, that's too bad.

546. Well, I'll tell you what.

547. You take a rest and maybe if you gets another girl,

548. she could be all yours.

549. Would you like that, hmm?

550. Sure would, count.

551. Are you sure you're a count?

552. Well, I'm not sterile, but I'm a baron.

553. A little whit there, a little whit.

554. Well, you have done a good night's work.

555. You're a good boy.

556. Now you go over there and you sit in the corner.

557. Did you have a good time tonight?

558. Yes.

559. Let's make ourselves comfortable, hmm?

560. - All right, since. - Since what?

561. Since whose house is it?

562. Well it's yours, and you know it.

563. Or is it mine?

564. Well Susan, why don't I move in with you?

565. Wouldn't you like that?

566. What would my mother say?

567. We could let her watch.

568. Why don't you get a little comfortable?

569. Don't you feel a little warm?

570. No.

571. No?

572. You're a tease, aren't you?

573. Kind of.

574. Gonna take my sweater off.

575. - Just a minute. - I can't wait.

576. Mercy.

577. Is your mother here tonight?

578. Yeah, she's right behind you.

579. Watch, mommy.

580. Let's sit down, hmm?

581. There you go.

582. What's the matter, a little shaky?

583. You know, you do things to me.

584. I wish you would.

585. Doesn't that turn you on?

586. Bob, I'm sorry.

587. What's the matter?

588. What's the matter?

589. I guess I'm just not in the mood.

590. You just don't turn me or something.

591. I don't know.

592. I don't turn you on?

593. I'm sorry.

594. Well, what do you think you do to me?

595. You know Susan, you make me sick.

596. Kiss my ass, bastard.

597. Larry, is that you?

598. Bob?

599. Oh Larry, what kind of joke is that?

600. You silly thing.

601. Always playing a practical joke.

602. I really had a deathly night.

603. I'm so glad you're here.

604. Oh Larry.

605. Larry.

606. Oh, Larry.

607. Larry, take that mask off.

608. Larry, Larry.

609. You're not Larry.

610. Here my darling, how you doing?

611. Oh God, you look terrible.

612. And you, yuck.

613. Well, I don't know.

614. Jackalman got me a couple of bummies for the first couple.

615. Well, he'll learn.

616. When he comes, I'll tell him a few things.

617. I wonder how come her hair is moving in this cave?

618. That's strange.

619. Nothing else is moving.

620. Boy, that one makes me sick.

621. Open, lid.

622. Now that I got my oh boy,

623. I'm going to take a little snooze

624. and wait for Jackalman to come back.

625. All right, close the lid.

626. What's the matter, honey?

627. You don't look so good.

628. Oh, I've got a real bad headache.

629. I'll go get some Cokes or something.

630. Two Cokes, a couple of hot dogs,

631. and what are you doing after the show?

632. Thank you.

633. Oops.

634. Gee, I wonder if I ought to go to the bathroom first?

635. These cramps again.

636. I knew I shouldn't have eaten Japanese food.

637. Oh well.

638. Oh boy.

639. Oh, I just dropped the,

640. oh well, what do you expect from a three-fingered claw?

641. Oh God, the Coke is just going down the drain.

642. This hot dog is ruined.

643. Don't throw up soon.

644. Ooh, I bet it's Irving Jackalman's time.

645. I can hear him out there sweating.

646. Better go check on the lovelies.

647. Boy, we're getting a good stock.

648. Close door, thank you.

649. Good lid.

650. Ah, let me see.

651. Where are you, what are you doing?

652. What's the name for it?

653. I'm Irving again.

654. Irving Jackalman is going to strike something.

655. Where'd I leave the car?

656. I wonder what's taking him so long.

657. These shorts are too tight.

658. They make me walk funny.

659. Come to me, my melancholy, there you are.

660. What you got me this time?

661. No, this for me.

662. That is not.

663. I shall take that one.

664. That's very good, what you're doing, Irving.

665. You're a good boy, you're a good jackalman.

666. Very soon we'll get a good stock.

667. With a younger jackal here, we could be a good business.

668. Oh, did you see that with the magic?

669. She's the best one yet.

670. Let me take her for you.

671. Always the good ones he keeps to himself.

672. That wasn't that fair.

673. Darling, you're mine, you little devil you,

674. you little rose of Washington Square.

675. I'm gonna kiss on you.

676. You don't think a tree grows in Brooklyn?

677. This medal thing just gets in the way.

678. Kiss the medal, why not.

679. Is that cold?

680. I feel that tickle on you.

681. Ooh, very good, feel good.

682. Come on now, come on count, that's mine.

683. Oh, when he hits, oh.

684. I told you Irving, I'll give you a hit

685. like you haven't got before.

686. I was only trying to get my girl here.

687. You keep all the good ones for yourself, you dummy count,

688. you no count.

689. That's what you are, no count.

690. Look what you did Irving, you let her escape,

691. you dumb jackalman.

692. Boy, it's back to novice for you.

693. They just don't make shoes like they used to.

694. I've got to get away from here.

695. What kind of a party is this, anyway?

696. That's enough.

697. Surprise!

698. You'll never get out.

699. I'm coming to get you.

700. You like that.

701. That's a good one.

702. I'll put you down here a little bit, make you comfy.

703. Would you like a little warm coffee or something,

704. maybe a glass of tea?

705. Maybe a game of pinochle when you wake up?

706. Well, you just rest here a while.

707. I got some things to do.

708. Take my pants off here.

709. Every time I put the cape on I feel like a chicken.

710. There now.

711. Does that medal bother you?

712. Give you a kiss a little bit, maybe bring you to.

713. Come on.

714. Irving, stay away

715. when I'm trying the do a little thing here.

716. You ever had it with a full suit on before?

717. This is class.

718. Hey.

719. I told you Irving, when I tell you stay away, stay away!

720. He did it again, look at that.

721. What a push.

722. I have to give him a hit with a rock or something.

723. I know what I'll do, I need a rock.

724. That's what I need, a rock.

725. Now I'll go over and give him a hit

726. like he wouldn't believe.

727. Now, how you like that, Irving Jackalman?

728. Now maybe you'll leave me alone.

729. I'm gonna go out and get the fresh air,

730. and gonna give a look up in the sky,

731. with the beautiful black sky, and I'm going,

732. the hills are good.

733. Oh my goodness.

734. Oh, you did it.

735. You happy?

736. I'm going to dissolve.

737. I'm going to turn into something terrible.

738. You wouldn't believe, I looked up,

739. look at all of that crazy in the sky with the light.

740. You wouldn't believe it.

741. I gotta get into my coffin.

742. Into the casket.

743. Close lid, hurry up you dummy lid.

744. I wonder who his interior decorator was?

745. Have to send that to the cleaners.

746. Mike?

747. Mike, what are you doing here?

748. My head, oh my head.

749. Seems like it's just a bad dream.

750. - More like a nightmare. - Yeah.

751. But you know, now that we're here,

752. I've been wanting to do this for a long time.

753. Have you ever done it in a cave before?

754. Come on, let's give it a whirl, shall we?

755. It may build up my lagging spirits.

756. Oh Mike, I've been wanting you to do this for so long.