1. what up, y'all?Copy !req
2. Yo. I'm fixin' to tell you
how it is in the hood.Copy !req
3. - See, 'cause in the hood,
everybody's a target.Copy !req
4. No, it ain't like that.
I'm goin' tell you the real deal
what it goes on in the hood.Copy !req
5. See, in the hood, most of us
won't reach the age of 21.Copy !req
6. - for me?
- Yeah. Make a wish.Copy !req
7. - Agh!Copy !req
8. No, lord! No, lord! Not my baby!
I know you didn't do me wrong, lord!Copy !req
9. No! He done—
Oh, my junior!Copy !req
10. I nursed him with these!
Lord, why?Copy !req
11. - Not my baby!
- Yo. Yo!Copy !req
12. - Yo, yo! This ain't your baby.
This ain't your baby.Copy !req
13. Mmm? Ah. Ain't that some shit.Copy !req
14. I'm outta here.Copy !req
15. I'm gonna tell you what
it's really like livin' in the hood.Copy !req
16. I moved back into my father's
house after livin' with my moms
for most of my life.Copy !req
17. Tray, I don't want you
hangin' out in the streets.Copy !req
18. I want you to finish school,Copy !req
19. 'cause without an education the only
work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs,Copy !req
20. pimpin' women or workin'
security for Eddie Murphy.Copy !req
21. Now, I've done all I can.Copy !req
22. I got my education;
I worked two jobs to support you.Copy !req
23. But I can't teach you
how to be a man.Copy !req
24. Only your father
can do that.Copy !req
25. Now gimme a kiss
and be a good boy.Copy !req
26. - I love you, tray.
- Love you too, mom.Copy !req
27. So, will I see you again?Copy !req
28. Sorry, baby.Copy !req
29. You know there ain't no positive
black females in these movies.Copy !req
30. - Sorry.Copy !req
31. My father tried
his best to give me advice.Copy !req
32. The problem was, he was only
a couple of years older than me.Copy !req
33. Fool, I told you I don't
want no damn watchtower!Copy !req
34. Hey, what's up, nigger?Copy !req
35. - What's up, pops?
- Oh, how you doin', man?Copy !req
36. - How you doin', man?
- How's it goin'?Copy !req
37. - Oh, man!
- Look at you. It's goin' be on!Copy !req
38. - Look at you, man!
Look, you got big, man!
- Oh, you know.Copy !req
39. Last time I seen you,
you was about this tall.Copy !req
40. They wouldn't even let you on
the rides at the amusement park.
Had to take you to kiddie land.Copy !req
41. - Remember that?
- Yeah, but it's all good.Copy !req
42. - I was just about to eat
breakfast. You hungry?
- No, I'm full, man.Copy !req
43. - I had some red hots.
- Oh, is that right?
Cool. Hey, man, come on in.Copy !req
44. Oh, please allow me.
You're the guest in my house, man.Copy !req
45. Make yourself at home.
Hey, are those your Bo's?Copy !req
46. - Yeah.
- Hey, I'm gonna be sportin' them, man.Copy !req
47. It's good to have you
up in it too.Copy !req
48. - I'm gonna finish gettin' my
swollen on right. Have a seat.
- All right. Cool.Copy !req
49. Hey! Make sure your
ass is on that plastic.Copy !req
50. Look, tray.
So we're not bumpin' heads.Copy !req
51. Man, if you gon' be stayin' here,
you gon' have to follow some rules.Copy !req
52. No smokin' my shit.
Don't let me catch you drinkin' my shit.Copy !req
53. And if you bring any of them ho's up
in here, make sure I fuck 'em first.Copy !req
54. And, uh... you gon'
have some chores.Copy !req
55. - Chores?
- That's right. Chores.Copy !req
56. Nigger, this ain't gon'
be no free ride!Copy !req
57. Uh, you gon' have to
keep track of my matchbox cars.Copy !req
58. You got to organize the damn
sega genesis cartridges.Copy !req
59. Do my homework, since you want
to be such a smart ass.Copy !req
60. After that, in the nighttime,
cut the hair on my balls.Copy !req
61. - Can I ask you a question, pop?
- Yeah.Copy !req
62. What you gon' be doin'?Copy !req
63. Hey! Look, nigger, I ain't got
to do nothin'. My mama take care of me.Copy !req
64. - I know you think I'm bein' hard on you.Copy !req
65. What the hell. I guess I'm tryin'
to teach you some responsibility.Copy !req
66. - You right, pop.
- No shit.Copy !req
67. Hey, could you do me a favor?
Could you line me up in the back?Copy !req
68. That's gon' run you
about $13.Copy !req
69. Thirteen dollars?
Come on, man. The Spanish dude
down the block only charges six.Copy !req
70. - Well, take your ass to him
and let him fuck your head up.
- Nah, I'll let you cut me up.Copy !req
71. Hey, tray, let me
ask you a question, man.Copy !req
72. - What's up?
- You still a virgin?Copy !req
73. Of course.Copy !req
74. Well, there was this one dude
who rubbed up against my butt
one time, but I ain't like it.Copy !req
75. Hey, man, I'm talkin'
about girls, man!Copy !req
76. Oh! Girls? C'mon, pops.
Now, you know I be gettin' mine.Copy !req
77. - Mmm. I mean, you gettin' it,
or you gettin' it?
- I'm gettin' it.Copy !req
78. - I didn't tell you about
that little honey dip?
- Uh-uh. What honey?Copy !req
79. - Oh, pop, I met the finest
little brown-skinned cutie...Copy !req
80. Down at
the corner market, man.Copy !req
81. She had big breasts
and big legs. Ass was— pow!Copy !req
82. - Ghetto Booty! Yes.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
83. So, you know, I knew she liked me,
'cause we locked eyes.Copy !req
84. - Mm-hmm.
- So I started to get into
my mack daddy Denzel mode.Copy !req
85. You know? Yeah. So I start fixin' my
eyebrows, make sure they was straight.Copy !req
86. Fix my hair, make sure
it was slick and greasy.Copy !req
87. - Makin' sure my breath wasn't stinkin'.
- Hey, get to the fuckin' part!Copy !req
88. - Oh. Okay. So anyway...Copy !req
89. I went over to her house
one Sunday mornin'.Copy !req
90. Her moms had
just gone to church.Copy !req
91. And we had the place
all to ourself.Copy !req
92. So you know, we got to kissin',
lickin', slobbin'.Copy !req
93. You know, doin' the wild thing.Copy !req
94. - When we got up there,
it was like heaven.Copy !req
95. Better than
my wildest fantasies.Copy !req
96. Well, apparently, her moms must have
forgot her purse or somethin',Copy !req
97. - 'Cause she came back home.Copy !req
98. - I guess she could smell sex in the air.Copy !req
99. I got a surprise for you.Copy !req
100. - And that's when things
really got freaky.
- Come on.Copy !req
101. - Before I knew it the door burst open...
- Huh?Copy !req
102. And there was her mama!Copy !req
103. Ohh! Hold him down, baby.
Let mama have him.Copy !req
104. - I grabbed my things and got out
of there the best way I could.Copy !req
105. Yeah. Hmm. I sure do hope
you got her number.Copy !req
106. - The girl?
- Hell, no. Her mama. She the freak.Copy !req
107. Hey, hey. Pops, don't go up
too high in the back.Copy !req
108. Man, don't worry about this.
We all done. There we go.Copy !req
109. - Yeah.
- I got something for you
to make the girls...Copy !req
110. Think you're smelling good.Copy !req
111. - All hooked up, partner. Gimme my $13.Copy !req
112. - All right, give it up!
It's a Jack move, fool.
- J-j-just don't shoot.Copy !req
113. - Hey, come back here with my truck!Copy !req
114. Will you— come here!
Son, gimme that truck back!Copy !req
115. Man, you got
any spare change?Copy !req
116. Sorry, bro.
I'm all out, man.Copy !req
117. Man, I got these
cheeseburgers, man.Copy !req
118. I don't want any cheeseburgers.Copy !req
119. Please, man?
I'll suck your dick.Copy !req
120. Ill. Get outta here, man!
Get outta here!Copy !req
121. It hurt me to wake up and see
my beautiful black people suffer,Copy !req
122. victimized by the oppressive,
harsh realities of the hood.Copy !req
123. I guess, even though we were free,
we were still slaves...Copy !req
124. In the mind.Copy !req
125. Message.Copy !req
126. Luckily, I wasn't alone
here in the hood.Copy !req
127. See, my cousin loc dog
lived right across the street.Copy !req
128. Loc dog was America's
worst nightmare.Copy !req
129. - poverty and profanity.Copy !req
130. You wakin' up the fuckin'
babies, motherfucker!Copy !req
131. This still my motherfuckin' house!Copy !req
132. Who the fuck is that
on my porch?Copy !req
133. - Hey, Mrs. dog.
- Hey, ashtray.Copy !req
134. - You come to stay
with your daddy for good?
- Yeah.Copy !req
135. Come on in.Copy !req
136. You tell your pretty-ass,
motherfuckin' daddy I said hello?Copy !req
137. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
138. Mmm!Copy !req
139. Baby, do me a favor and
pass me that shit over there.Copy !req
140. Hey!Copy !req
141. - Care for a little soup?
- No, thanks. I'm cool.Copy !req
142. - Oh. Is loc dog here?
- Yeah, that lazy-ass
motherfucker is in the back,Copy !req
143. doin' nothin', as usual.Copy !req
144. - Okay. Well, I'll see you later.
- All right, babe.Copy !req
145. Hey, grandma.Copy !req
146. Ashtray! You little
bitch-ass motherfucker!Copy !req
147. Come over here
and give your grandma a hug.Copy !req
148. Ah, that's my nigger.Copy !req
149. - You been wearin' them Jimmy hats
like grandma gave you?
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
150. - How are you?
- Oh, my old stinky ass is fine,Copy !req
151. 'cept for my arthritis
in my trigger finger.Copy !req
152. - But I can still stick and move.
- I bet you can.Copy !req
153. That beatin' the police give me
didn't slow me down a bit.Copy !req
154. C'mon, motherfucker.
Gimme your best shot.Copy !req
155. C'mon, grandma.
I don't wanna do nothin' like that.Copy !req
156. - Aw, c'mon.
- Come on, grandma. I don't
wanna do that. Stop. Come on.Copy !req
157. Ooh.Copy !req
158. Damn, them fake teeth
are hard.Copy !req
159. Bye-bye.Copy !req
160. You still hit like a bitch,
motherfucker.Copy !req
161. Loc dog was
gonna teach me to survive in the hood,Copy !req
162. - even if it killed me.Copy !req
163. Tray, is that you?Copy !req
164. Hey, you better start
announcin' yourself...Copy !req
165. Before you get smoked
up in here, nigger. Damn!Copy !req
166. You know that chronic
make me paranoid, baby.Copy !req
167. Come here, you old fool-dog,
mark-ass trick. Gimme some love.Copy !req
168. - What's up, cuz?
- All right. That's enough of that love.Copy !req
169. I don't play that sentimental shit.
Come on. Come in.Copy !req
170. Quick fashion question.Copy !req
171. Should I wear this tec-9
with the high-tops?Copy !req
172. Mmm? Mmm.Copy !req
173. Or should I wear this uzi
with my low-tops?Copy !req
174. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.Copy !req
175. - Uh—
- I'll just wear these then.Copy !req
176. Hey, tray, scoot over. Rumor has
it your bitch ass is in town for good.Copy !req
177. Yeah, man. Moms is beepin'.
She says time for me to become a man.Copy !req
178. Oh, nigger, my mom said
the same shit! Sweatin' me, nigger!Copy !req
179. Yeah, man. Hey. I don't care though.
You know, I told her,Copy !req
180. I don't wanna be on welfare my
whole life; You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
181. For real, nigger. I got bigger and
better plans. You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
182. Figure I'll get me a job at the
post office. You know, maybe at a bank.Copy !req
183. - That's all good, man.
- Work real hard.
Work my way up to manager.Copy !req
184. We need more black people
like this, man.Copy !req
185. Learn the system a little bit,
then I'll rob that motherfucker blind.Copy !req
186. Break all yourselves.Copy !req
187. Hey, loc, man. Whatever happened
to your pops anyway?Copy !req
188. Oh, that old mark-ass nigger ran out
on us like a little biz-nitch.Copy !req
189. You know, it's—Copy !req
190. - You know, it's kinda tough—Copy !req
191. Growin' up in the hood
without a—Copy !req
192. Without a positive male role model
to look up to.Copy !req
193. Message.Copy !req
194. Aw, nigger, come on.Copy !req
195. Let's go get preach and crazy legs
and go to this picnic real quick.Copy !req
196. Come on.Copy !req
197. Damn!Copy !req
198. This is some good shit.Copy !req
199. - You have your black ass
back here by Friday,Copy !req
200. 'cause the social worker's
comin' on over here and
I'm still claimin' your ass.Copy !req
201. Quit sweatin' me. Shoot.Copy !req
202. And grandma, you better stay out
my lndo, 'fore I smoke your ass!Copy !req
203. Aw, go fuck yourself, nigger.Copy !req
204. Our friend preach was a former
gang member turned activist.Copy !req
205. - But now he's just plain confused.Copy !req
206. - Preach. What up, nigger?
- Y'all need to stop usin'
the word nigger.Copy !req
207. You see, it's terms like the word nigger
that the white man uses...Copy !req
208. To take away the self-esteem
of another race!Copy !req
209. - Word.
- Oh, yeah. Remind me
to pick my laundry up...Copy !req
210. From that chink motherfucker
up the street.Copy !req
211. Crazy legs used
to be the best dancer in the hood.Copy !req
212. But now he's paralyzed from
the waist down after a drive-by.Copy !req
213. What's up, crazy?Copy !req
214. Hey, what's up, y'all? I be right
there, all right?Copy !req
215. Whoo!Copy !req
216. - That's the way to start the day.
How you doin'?
- Hi, crazy.Copy !req
217. - Hi, yourself. How's my little partner?
- Hello, little pygmy brother.Copy !req
218. - All right, African brother.
- Hey, hold that.Copy !req
219. Loc dog didn't
have the flyest ride in the hood,Copy !req
220. but it was reliable
in rain, sleet or snow.Copy !req
221. Hey, you guys.
Y'all want to see a dead body?Copy !req
222. - Yeah! Of course.
- Come on.Copy !req
223. - I told you he was dead.Copy !req
224. - Hey, where you goin', girl?Copy !req
225. Damn! Hey, tray, if you can't
get nothin' up in here,Copy !req
226. - you gonna straight die a virgin.
- Shit, man.Copy !req
227. Hey, y'all. Look at them
freaks gettin' busy on the dance floor.Copy !req
228. there's all kinds
of bitches here!Copy !req
229. What did I tell you about disrespectin'
my nubian princesses?Copy !req
230. - Aw, come on!
- Quit disrespect— you need—Copy !req
231. Oh, my God. The mother of mecca
is right here before me.Copy !req
232. Do my eyes not deceive me...Copy !req
233. Or am I lookin'
at the goddess lsis herself?Copy !req
234. Can you, uh—
Can you do me a favor,Copy !req
235. my brown-skinned angel?Copy !req
236. Can you tap that white girl for me?Copy !req
237. My milk of magnesia. Ohh!Copy !req
238. Oh. After the devil made you
he broke the mold.Copy !req
239. But maybe you and I could, uh,
make a little jungle fever?Copy !req
240. Hey, this one to all my dead homies,
you know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
241. I remember the first time I saw dashiki.Copy !req
242. She was fine enough
to be jet beauty of the week.Copy !req
243. - What's up, nigger?
- Yo, man. Who's this
fine girl over here?Copy !req
244. Oh, nigger, that's dashiki.Copy !req
245. Stay away from there. Everybody
in the hood's been up with her.Copy !req
246. Shoot. She got more kids
than Mrs. wayans.Copy !req
247. - Damn!
- Yeah.Copy !req
248. Anyway, that's toothpick's ex-girl. You
don't want any of that boy's old scraps.Copy !req
249. - Toothpick
got used to bein' in jail.
- Damn!Copy !req
250. So much so that even on the outside, he
lived like he was still on the inside.Copy !req
251. Gimme a knife, boy.
Keep it down. Keep it down.Copy !req
252. Hmm? Bone check, homey.
Bone check!Copy !req
253. Five dollars a head!
Five dollars.Copy !req
254. - I got top!
- Go fish!Copy !req
255. - What they in for, man?
- Five dollars, Buster!Copy !req
256. Oh, I got that.
I can cover that.Copy !req
257. Here. Here you go.Copy !req
258. What?Copy !req
259. Oh, my money ain't good?Copy !req
260. Do you know how many
crumb cakes I can get for that?Copy !req
261. How many chocolate milks?
How many bars of soap?Copy !req
262. Deal my cards! Just hurry up and
deal my cards. Deal, deal, deal!Copy !req
263. - All right, nigger! One up, two.
- Shit.Copy !req
264. Mmm.Copy !req
265. Hello.Copy !req
266. - She wants me.
- Why you keep wastin' your time
with that trick?Copy !req
267. Tellin' you, you need yourself
somethin' with some class.Copy !req
268. Someone you can take home to stepmama.
You know what I'm tryin' to say?Copy !req
269. Get yourself a real woman.Copy !req
270. A real woman.Copy !req
271. Hey, tray, you see
that bitch over there?Copy !req
272. - I see her.
- Now, that's a lady.Copy !req
273. I bet you I can
get her number.Copy !req
274. - Nigger, you ain't gettin'
nobody's number.
- Fool, watch me.Copy !req
275. Break yourself! Gimme your
goddamn number. Come on! Hurry up!Copy !req
276. Cool, cool, cool. So, um, I'm gonna
give you a call about 5:00, all right?Copy !req
277. - I said all right?
- Y-y-yeah, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
278. All right, sweetheart.
Take care of yourself, all right?Copy !req
279. I told you
I'd get her number.Copy !req
280. hey, beautiful.Copy !req
281. - Please!
- Hey, mister.Copy !req
282. - What's up, little man?
- Aw, you're just tryin'
to get some from my mama.Copy !req
283. Oh, ho! Snap. No, little man.
Actually, what I'm tryin'--Copy !req
284. Gimme a dollar,
and I'll leave you alone.Copy !req
285. Cute little kid.
Oh, by the way, my name is ashtray.Copy !req
286. My name is dashiki.
That's Swahili for "doggie-style."Copy !req
287. - Ooh, that's pretty.
- Those are my kids.Copy !req
288. Hello, everybody.Copy !req
289. Now, children. What do you say
when you meet a nice man?Copy !req
290. Are you my daddy?Copy !req
291. Ooh. All I know is I'd
really like to take you out.Copy !req
292. Oh. You and your seven kids.Copy !req
293. That sounds nice, but I'm leavin'
the hood in a couple of days.Copy !req
294. Really? Man, I can't wait for the day
I can move out of the hood.Copy !req
295. Well, look, I know I just met you,
but you're welcome to come along.Copy !req
296. I mean, I need somebody
to help me change all them diapers.Copy !req
297. Is that it? Diapers?Copy !req
298. I used to change my father's
diapers all the time. Ain't no thing.Copy !req
299. Listen.Copy !req
300. You think about it, okay?Copy !req
301. And if you're serious,
let me know.Copy !req
302. Mmm.Copy !req
303. Hey, man, ain't that dashiki
over there kissin' that fool, man?Copy !req
304. Man? Right there!Copy !req
305. - Yeah.
- Oh, damn!Copy !req
306. I'se gon' shank that fool
right now!Copy !req
307. Pick, you trippin', man. Damn.Copy !req
308. Nigger, that's old news!
Think about it, nigger.Copy !req
309. You been in jail
five years now.Copy !req
310. Man, it's only been 1,825 days,
six hours and 13 minutes!Copy !req
311. She could've waited!Copy !req
312. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm just sayin'
why go back to jail. You know?Copy !req
313. I ain't worried about jail!
What the fuck— you sound like a bitch.Copy !req
314. - Bitch!
- Man, I ain't worried about jail!Copy !req
315. Shit, I— I don't give a damn
about goin' to jail.Copy !req
316. - You can take me to jail!
- Take me to jail!Copy !req
317. - Shit, lock me up!
- Lock me up!Copy !req
318. - Throw away the key!
- Throw away the key!Copy !req
319. I ain't afraid to fuck
somebody in his ass!Copy !req
320. - This fool is trippin'.
- I'm outta here.Copy !req
321. You on your own there, bro.Copy !req
322. Yeah, y'all. Come on, man.Copy !req
323. Y'all ain't never been
in a shower with a man?Copy !req
324. And you see the suds
crawl down the crack of his ass...Copy !req
325. And you just...Copy !req
326. Be, uh, tou—Copy !req
327. I was foolin' y'all, man!Copy !req
328. I was foolin' y'all!
Those was jokes!Copy !req
329. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
330. Hey, man, fuck this. I'm goin'.Copy !req
331. I don't usually be kissin'
like that when I first meet someone.Copy !req
332. But you special. Uh—Copy !req
333. - Cigarette?
- Ashtray.Copy !req
334. Yeah. Ashtray.Copy !req
335. Hey, stupid.Copy !req
336. You realize you just kissed
every nigger in the party?Copy !req
337. Now come on. I gotta go to the store
and get some more forties.Copy !req
338. Okay. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
339. Whoo! Now, that there
is somethin' special.Copy !req
340. How come you talk all that noise
about white men, and then
go date white women, fool?Copy !req
341. No. You see, I'm just
tryin' to do to white girls...Copy !req
342. - What the white man's been doin'
to us for 400 years!
- Yeah? What's that?Copy !req
343. Fuck 'em. Amy jo!Copy !req
344. Oh, you cold. He cold.Copy !req
345. Yeah, yeah.
Forties and nines.Copy !req
346. Oh, that's
my favorite store.Copy !req
347. Hey. I'm gonna go in here
and get me a malt liquor slurpee.Copy !req
348. Run across the street
and get me some barbecue potato chips.Copy !req
349. - Ooh.
- Can I keep the change?Copy !req
350. Hell, no, fool.
That's a ten-dollar food stamp.Copy !req
351. Better bring me back
my change.Copy !req
352. - Cheapskate.
- Stupid.Copy !req
353. What's up now,
you pretty punk trick?Copy !req
354. Hey! What's up?
We got a problem, toothpick?Copy !req
355. I said,
do we have a problem?Copy !req
356. We got a problem for ya.Copy !req
357. Right here. This a problem.
Right there. Right there.Copy !req
358. - All right. We'll play a little game.Copy !req
359. Right here.Copy !req
360. I said do... we...Copy !req
361. Have... a... problem, huh?Copy !req
362. Oh. "U.S.S.R."Copy !req
363. You better get your stinky asses
outta here before I cause
a nuclear holocaust, fool.Copy !req
364. Well, let's go!
Fool, come on!Copy !req
365. It'll be Hiroshima
and nigger-saki.Copy !req
366. - Fool, let's go! Let's go!
- That's right, boy!
You better get on outta here!Copy !req
367. And don't come back!Copy !req
368. - Punk!
- Tray, bring your simple behind on!Copy !req
369. - Hello?Copy !req
370. - Hey, yo, man. You page me?
- Yeah, yeah. You ready to be out?Copy !req
371. - Yeah. Let's move.
- All right.Copy !req
372. I go and check them.Copy !req
373. Hyyaaa-aah!Copy !req
374. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
375. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
376. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
377. - Break yourself!Copy !req
378. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
379. You dropped something.Copy !req
380. - Yeah! Break yourself, fool!Copy !req
381. Yeah! Recognize.Copy !req
382. - Gimme my money back.Copy !req
383. Oh, word. Candy bars.
Hey! Ms. lady bitch.Copy !req
384. Hey. I'm talkin' to you.
How much for this candy bar?Copy !req
385. Five dollar.Copy !req
386. Better give me some sucky-sucky
with that for five dollars.Copy !req
387. You don't like;
You don't buy.Copy !req
388. Hey. Look here.Copy !req
389. Just charge us for the chips
and the ice cream. All right? Shoot.Copy !req
390. Hey, let's raise up outta here
'fore I loc up on these people.Copy !req
391. Quit lickin' that damn ice cream
like that 'fore I put you on the
corner to make me some money!Copy !req
392. I feel sorry
for your mother.Copy !req
393. What'd you say
about my mama? Hmm?Copy !req
394. I don't want trouble. Just go!
Go home! Don't come back!Copy !req
395. What'd you say about my mama?
Break yourself!Copy !req
396. - No!Copy !req
397. You break; You buy!
Soda, five dollar!Copy !req
398. Loc, what are you
doin', man? Come on!Copy !req
399. - Ah! Pickles!Copy !req
400. Ten dollar!
Come on, gimme money!Copy !req
401. - Gimme money right now!Copy !req
402. Right— shirt!Copy !req
403. Nineteen ninety-five!
On sale! Come on!Copy !req
404. - Oh!Copy !req
405. Yo, loc! Are you crazy?
What the hell did you do?Copy !req
406. - Hey, fool. It wasn't me!
I ain't hurt nobody!Copy !req
407. Catch.Copy !req
408. The man!Copy !req
409. Have a nice day.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
410. - He's good.
- Mm-hmm. Come on, tray.
Let's get outta here!Copy !req
411. hey, man,
check out that 6-4.Copy !req
412. Aw, damn. What up, grandma?Copy !req
413. Tell your daddy to page me.Copy !req
414. All right, then. All right.
Play or stay up?Copy !req
415. some of you womenfolk,
you get hot.Copy !req
416. You get bothered. And every now
and again you get hot and bothered!Copy !req
417. - Amen!
- Ha! Well, what I want you to do...Copy !req
418. When you get that hot and
you need a little... relief,Copy !req
419. - preach on, reverend!
- Ain't that the truth!Copy !req
420. Amen! I got $100 right here!Copy !req
421. Brother Deacon, get the collection plate
around on that side.Copy !req
422. Nigger, get it around on that side.Copy !req
423. We will now have a—
A "b" selection from the choir.Copy !req
424. I feel the spirit!
Whoo! Yes.Copy !req
425. Ain't that the truth?Copy !req
426. All right, grandma!Copy !req
427. - Yes, lord!
- Praise the lord!Copy !req
428. well, Malik, kid, man.
How's it feel?Copy !req
429. - Your first day of college?
- Aw, it ain't nothin' dope.
You be up in there next year.Copy !req
430. I'm thinkin' about goin'
away to college myself, kids.Copy !req
431. - Thank you, brother.
Thank you. Hey, hey!Copy !req
432. Loc, you better stop clownin',
get your g.E.D. Before you
end up like that brother.Copy !req
433. - There you go, brother.
- Thank you, man.Copy !req
434. Bro, I'm gonna get me
my "g-o-b." A job.Copy !req
435. Yeah, I heard they hirin' down at b.M.
Motors, tray. Come down there with me.Copy !req
436. Ah, not today, loc.
I gotta take my driver's test.Copy !req
437. This is what fresh air
smell like, huh.Copy !req
438. Yeah. You livin' it, man.Copy !req
439. Wow. That's great.Copy !req
440. - All right, man.
- All right, man.Copy !req
441. - Stay up.
- All right, man.Copy !req
442. All right. That's enough of all
that sentimental stuff.Copy !req
443. Yo, Malik.
Don't forget about us, baby.Copy !req
444. - Hey, one love, baby.
- Big baby!Copy !req
445. - You know, Malik is the first one
in the hood to go to college.
- Yeah.Copy !req
446. - Finally, someone from
the hood is gonna make it.
- Yeah, there is hope.Copy !req
447. Yeah!Copy !req
448. Hello, I'm Mr. Walker.
I'm your examiner for today.Copy !req
449. Put on your seat belt,
check your mirrors; Let's begin.Copy !req
450. Okay.Copy !req
451. Make a right, right there.Copy !req
452. And... make another left here.Copy !req
453. Park right there.Copy !req
454. Wait here.Copy !req
455. - Come back here!
Somebody call the police!Copy !req
456. Drive, motherfucker! Drive!Copy !req
457. - It was nice meeting you.
We'll be in touch.
- Thank you very much. Okay.Copy !req
458. My God!Copy !req
459. Hey!Copy !req
460. Uh, yes? May I help you?Copy !req
461. Yeah, I heard y'all niggers
was hirin'. What's up?Copy !req
462. Oh, yes. Here. Why don't you
fill out this application?Copy !req
463. Tsk. Make me write and shit.Copy !req
464. If I was white,
wouldn't be makin' me write.Copy !req
465. Well, actually, originally
I'm from the east coast.Copy !req
466. But after my master's
I thought I'd take a break,Copy !req
467. so here I am.Copy !req
468. I was tired of living off of daddy.Copy !req
469. "Age." Nineteen.Copy !req
470. "Height." Six-deuce, babe.Copy !req
471. "Father's name."
I don't know.Copy !req
472. "Sex." Hell, yeah, nigger.Copy !req
473. "Salary desired."Copy !req
474. Three million dollars.Copy !req
475. Cash.Copy !req
476. You know, being an lvy leaguer
can be such a leg up.Copy !req
477. You know, I spent five years
at Harvard.Copy !req
478. Oh, really? I just spent
six months at county.Copy !req
479. Anybody ever try and take
your manhood? Hmm?Copy !req
480. Then he sees the warden comin',
so he hides you, but you still
got that plunger in your ass.Copy !req
481. - So you just squeal and cry.
- Um, uh—Copy !req
482. - Don't you hate when that happens?
- Let's get outta here.Copy !req
483. - Hey, where y'all goin'?
- Uh, loc dog?Copy !req
484. - Uh, uh, Mr. loc dog?
- That's me.Copy !req
485. - You're next.
- Uh, mister, uh, loc dog?Copy !req
486. - Hey, what's up, baby? All right!
- Yeah, right. Ha-ha.Copy !req
487. - You all right?
- Yeah! No.Copy !req
488. - Energy. Eager man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
489. Yes, I— I like that.
Right this way.Copy !req
490. Uh... loc dog.Copy !req
491. Heh. Uh. Let me just move this.Copy !req
492. Ahh.Copy !req
493. So, uh, let me see.Copy !req
494. Hmm. Very interesting, um—Copy !req
495. I see your hobbies are drinking,
smoking weed and all types of ill shit.Copy !req
496. Yeah.Copy !req
497. - Uh, do you drive an automobile?
- Um, with or without the boot?Copy !req
498. Doesn't matter.
Well, congratulations.Copy !req
499. You got yourself a job.Copy !req
500. Right on, huh?Copy !req
501. Hey, where the seat belts at?Copy !req
502. Don't worry.
They won't be necessary.Copy !req
503. Hey, man, how you
work this radio?Copy !req
504. Whoo!Copy !req
505. One more time!Copy !req
506. - Mmm, boy! Mmm. Yeah!Copy !req
507. Yeah! I told you, you ain't
got no game for me, boy!Copy !req
508. - Now I'm gonna wear you out,
you little punk.Copy !req
509. - What's that?
- My gat, fool.Copy !req
510. Where you learn
how to use a gun, anyway?Copy !req
511. Cartoons and hood movies.Copy !req
512. Doo rag, don't you know that you
and I are an endangered species?Copy !req
513. - Why, because we're black males?
- No!Copy !req
514. Because all the rappers
are takin' all the good actin' jobs!Copy !req
515. Listen, doo rag. Havin' a gun
doesn't give you any power.Copy !req
516. - You wanna know where
the real power is?
- In the bullets.Copy !req
517. No! Ln the books.Copy !req
518. See, doo rag,Copy !req
519. your mind—Copy !req
520. It is like a gun!Copy !req
521. And you gonna load it up...Copy !req
522. With little, itty-bitty...Copy !req
523. Bullets of knowledge.Copy !req
524. Message!Copy !req
525. Hey. What are you doin'?Copy !req
526. Writing a poem.Copy !req
527. See, my poetry, it helps me escape the
harsh realities of livin' in the hood.Copy !req
528. Ah. That's deep.Copy !req
529. Hey, you wanna read me one?Copy !req
530. Okay.Copy !req
531. Let me see.Copy !req
532. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
533. "Love is by far..."Copy !req
534. The most precious thing on earth,Copy !req
535. iike a rose's fragrance...Copy !req
536. - Or a child's birth.Copy !req
537. Love me...Copy !req
538. And leave me;Copy !req
539. that's the story of my life.Copy !req
540. But it won't happen again, see,Copy !req
541. since I bought
a butcher's knife.Copy !req
542. Yeah, see, the next man
who loves me,Copy !req
543. and leaves me so quick, mm-hmm,Copy !req
544. - I'm gon' cut off his balls
and I'm gon' chop off his dick.Copy !req
545. I'm gon' shoot
that motherfucker.Copy !req
546. I'm gon' kill him!
I'm gon' stab that motherfucker!Copy !req
547. Shit! Fuckin' with me?
Oh, no!Copy !req
548. I'm gon' run him over
with my car, see.Copy !req
549. He fuckin' with the wrong motherfucker.
You don't fuck with me!Copy !req
550. - "I will kill that motherfucker—"
- baby, baby, baby, baby.Copy !req
551. - I get the point. It was— that was—
- You liked it?Copy !req
552. That was good. I mean,
it touched me in a... really...Copy !req
553. Special place.Copy !req
554. Look. You wait right here.Copy !req
555. I sure will.Copy !req
556. Psst.Copy !req
557. Dashiki was far
more sexually experienced than I was.Copy !req
558. She taught me
all about foreplay.Copy !req
559. Until then, I ain't
never done foreplay before.Copy !req
560. But then again, who needs foreplay
when you're jackin' off?Copy !req
561. nuh-uh, fool!
That's the baby's lunch.Copy !req
562. Wrong hole, fool!Copy !req
563. Oh. My bad.Copy !req
564. I couldn't believe this
was happening to me.Copy !req
565. I was losing my virginity
to the woman of my dreams.Copy !req
566. Talk dirty to me.Copy !req
567. I'm coming! Uhh! Uhh!Copy !req
568. What did you say?Copy !req
569. Never mind.Copy !req
570. - I'll tell you when I wake up.
- Ohh!Copy !req
571. - Ashtray, wake up!Copy !req
572. What? What's up, baby?Copy !req
573. I need to tell you something.Copy !req
574. What's up?Copy !req
575. - I'm pregnant.
- Already?Copy !req
576. - Are you sure?
- I got seven kids. I think
I know what I'm talkin' about!Copy !req
577. Dashiki, I— I'm not ready
to be no father right now.Copy !req
578. Oh, so you man enough
to come up in me,Copy !req
579. but you ain't man enough
to take care of what comes out,
get my nails and hair done,Copy !req
580. pay my rent
and get me a new car?Copy !req
581. You know what?
You ain't nothin' but a little boy.Copy !req
582. Ain't all about the size of the boat!
It's the motion in the ocean.Copy !req
583. That's not
what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
584. As a matter of fact, get out!Copy !req
585. - Get outta my bed!
Get outta my house! Get out!
- Wha— what's— what's up?Copy !req
586. - And take your shit with you!
- Why you trippin'?Copy !req
587. I don't wanna see you no more.
I don't wanna talk to you.Copy !req
588. - How— hey!
- Take your shit!Copy !req
589. Aw, girl, come on, now.
This— hey, this ain't mine!Copy !req
590. - Get outta my house!
- Oh!Copy !req
591. Get out!Copy !req
592. Ohh!Copy !req
593. Order up!Copy !req
594. - Yo, loc, man. Dashiki's pregnant.Copy !req
595. Fool, dashiki was born pregnant.
What else is new?Copy !req
596. What else is new?
It's mine.Copy !req
597. - Whoo! Thank you.
- Aw, man. Are you sure?Copy !req
598. She said I was the only one
she been with in the past 20 minutes.Copy !req
599. - Damn!
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
600. And you believed her, huh?Copy !req
601. Here you go, sucker—
I mean, brother. Ha.Copy !req
602. - That'll be $10.38.
- Wash them filthy hands.Copy !req
603. So what you gon'
do now, tray?Copy !req
604. I don't know. I'm thinkin' about
movin' outta the hood with her.Copy !req
605. What? Aw, fool!Copy !req
606. Look here. Let me tell you
somethin', tray.Copy !req
607. You could take dashiki
outta the hood,Copy !req
608. but you can't take
the hood niggers out of dashiki.Copy !req
609. - Hmm?Copy !req
610. - Aw, damn! Five-o.
- Man!Copy !req
611. You there!
Get out of the truck...Copy !req
612. And put your hands
in the air.Copy !req
613. - Stand on one leg.Copy !req
614. With the tip of your finger,
touch the tip of your nose.Copy !req
615. Now in a circular motion,
rub your stomach and pat your head...Copy !req
616. While saying,
"rubber baby buggy bumpers."Copy !req
617. Rubber baby buggy bumpers.Copy !req
618. - Strike a pose. Now vogue.Copy !req
619. Now walk slowly
toward the car.Copy !req
620. We didn't even do nothin'.Copy !req
621. What? You think you're tough?Copy !req
622. You don't look so tough now,
you little nigger.Copy !req
623. I hate you black bastards.
You stink!Copy !req
624. I hate your black skin.Copy !req
625. I hate your black pants.Copy !req
626. I hate black pepper!Copy !req
627. I hate black keys
on the piano!Copy !req
628. I hate my gums,
'cause they black.Copy !req
629. I hate whoopi goldberg's lips.Copy !req
630. I hate the back
of forest Whitaker's neck.Copy !req
631. Aah! And most of all,Copy !req
632. I hate that black-ass
Wesley snipes!Copy !req
633. Move it!Copy !req
634. - Come on.
- Let's go.Copy !req
635. - Move it.
- We got arrested...Copy !req
636. For bein' black
on a Friday night.Copy !req
637. Don't try me, all right?Copy !req
638. It was a misdemeanor, so I
thought we'd be out right away.Copy !req
639. - Oh!
- Yeah!Copy !req
640. - Right there, right there!Copy !req
641. - Oh! Oh!Copy !req
642. - There you go!Copy !req
643. All right. Get in there.Copy !req
644. - What's up, youngblood?
- What's up?Copy !req
645. Swine, my brother?Copy !req
646. - Nah. No, thanks.
- Let me tell you something.Copy !req
647. If you hit a man,Copy !req
648. in time...
His wounds will heal.Copy !req
649. And if you steal from a man,Copy !req
650. you can replace
what you steal.Copy !req
651. And always cross in the green,
never in between.Copy !req
652. Because the honorable
Elijah muhammad Ali...Copy !req
653. Floats like a butterfly
and stings like a bee.Copy !req
654. Just thinkin'
about spending another minute...Copy !req
655. With farrakhan-vict made me never
want to do time in the joint again.Copy !req
656. Boy, am I happy
to see you, man.Copy !req
657. And always remember,
my brother:Copy !req
658. One fish, two fish,
red fish, blue fish.Copy !req
659. Nick, nack, paddy-wack,
get a dog a bone.Copy !req
660. Two thousand,
zero, zero, party—Copy !req
661. Oops, outta time!
My bacon smellin' fine.Copy !req
662. - What's up, toothpick?
- What's up?Copy !req
663. All ready, we gon'
jump this fool in.Copy !req
664. Let's do this, ai dog.Copy !req
665. What's up there, little homie?
'Bout ready to do this?Copy !req
666. - Yeah, man. I'm ready.
- What's up?Copy !req
667. - What's up?
- You been hangin' with the homies
in the hood for a while now.Copy !req
668. - It's about time we
jumped your punk ass in.
- That's right.Copy !req
669. Let me tell you somethin'.
In this world, if you can't swim—Copy !req
670. - You bound to dr-z-own.
- Yeah. And if you fall,Copy !req
671. - you better pick your punk ass up!
- That's right.Copy !req
672. And the rest of y'all,Copy !req
673. don't cut him no slack!Copy !req
674. Y'all fools get busy.Copy !req
675. Let's go.
Work him, dog, work him.Copy !req
676. We're gonna have to
play monopoly again some time.Copy !req
677. - All right.
- No.Copy !req
678. You ain't winning nothin' anyway.Copy !req
679. - And the money that you do win,
I'll Jack you for it, fool.
- Tie your shoe.Copy !req
680. Hey! Which one of y'all
is ashtray?Copy !req
681. - I—
- What's up, partner?Copy !req
682. Heard you got my boy toothpick's
girlfriend pregnant, partner.Copy !req
683. - Me?
- Yeah, you.Copy !req
684. Uh, hey, brother, man.Copy !req
685. What's up?Copy !req
686. I don't want any trouble, man.
You know, I'm just taking crazy legs—Copy !req
687. You must not have
heard me, partner.Copy !req
688. Tray, let me handle this
like a gentleman, all right?Copy !req
689. Hey, my man, you know. My man
sayin' he don't want no trouble.Copy !req
690. You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
691. - But I do! Come here!
- Yeah, loc!Copy !req
692. - Show that fool!
- Yeah, here!
Get... your... body... down!Copy !req
693. Huh, partner?
Huh, partner?Copy !req
694. - Stay right there. We shouldn't—
- Aaah!Copy !req
695. Oh, yeah, nice execution.
I'm gonna give that an eight.Copy !req
696. Yeah, yeah!
Make him a cripple like me.Copy !req
697. - Stomp him!
- LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA.Copy !req
698. - After stompin'
one of toothpick's boys,Copy !req
699. We knew we had to go get
some backup.Copy !req
700. - So we went over to
our homie old school's house.
- Hey, loc, man.Copy !req
701. Are you sure this guy's
gonna have our back?Copy !req
702. Hey, tray, let me tell you somethin'
about old school, all right?Copy !req
703. He's the most dangerous
o.G. On the set.Copy !req
704. Let me tell you
young punks somethin'.Copy !req
705. I been down in this hood a long time.
I seen a lot of things.Copy !req
706. I survived the watts riots,
gang wars.Copy !req
707. You know how I did it?Copy !req
708. How?Copy !req
709. By standin' my ground
and havin' my homies watch my back.Copy !req
710. - Word!
- So don't let nobody mess with your set.Copy !req
711. - Yeah!
- And like me, don't let
nobody give you no shit.Copy !req
712. - Yeah, old school.
- Bartholemew?Copy !req
713. Bartholemew!Copy !req
714. - Come here, boy.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
715. - What did you say, boy?
- I said, "oh, shoot," ma. "Shoot."Copy !req
716. Didn't I tell you
to clean your room?Copy !req
717. Oh, ma, come on. The gang needs me.
I'm their leader.Copy !req
718. [Ma]
Gang?Copy !req
719. You better get in there and clean
that room in the next ten minutes...Copy !req
720. Or else you gonna be walking
down the street with three shoes—Copy !req
721. Two on your feet
and one in your ass, sucker.Copy !req
722. Thank you, mama.Copy !req
723. - Yeah. So you gonna roll with us?
- I can't.Copy !req
724. Why not? Oh, the police
is after you, huh?Copy !req
725. Nah, I'm on punishment.
My mom says I can't leave the porch.Copy !req
726. - Oh, man!
- Come on. Let's hold the porch down.Copy !req
727. Say, that's a nice Walker,
lady. Cough it up.Copy !req
728. Turn around! Give it up!Copy !req
729. Man, I need to get out
of this place.Copy !req
730. Fool, what you talking about?
Leave the hood?Copy !req
731. Fool, this is
home sweet home.Copy !req
732. I love the smell of gun smoke
in the morning.Copy !req
733. Yo, preach.
At least ashtray got a dream.Copy !req
734. That's more than I can say
for half the homies in the hood.Copy !req
735. - Why, little foots, you got a dream?
- Yeah.Copy !req
736. I got a dream.Copy !req
737. aaah!Copy !req
738. Hey, loc, I hope you ain't sellin'
out on me with no jive-ass dream.Copy !req
739. Ah, hell, no. You know
I ain't got no self-esteem.Copy !req
740. I ain't gonna grow up to be shit,
just like you, baby.Copy !req
741. Where them pussies hiding at?Copy !req
742. - They're probably over
at that trick's house.
- What trick?Copy !req
743. Dashiki, fool.Copy !req
744. - Ooh, I miss makin' love to her.
- Me too.Copy !req
745. - What you talkin' about?
- I was helpin' you out.Copy !req
746. - How was you helpin' me?
- You was locked down, fool.Copy !req
747. Man, just give me the book.Copy !req
748. Nothin' I can read.Copy !req
749. Hey, baby.Copy !req
750. Man, can you hook me up
with directions to crenshaw, man?Copy !req
751. Fool, you better get
your crusty behind away from me!Copy !req
752. Man, I'll suck your dick, man.Copy !req
753. - What you say to me?
- I'll suck your dick, man!Copy !req
754. - Ah, man.Copy !req
755. All right, so what
you want to do, my man—Copy !req
756. Go to the corner, go about
three blocks down and make a right.Copy !req
757. - Aaah!Copy !req
758. - What should we do?
- Run like a bitch, fool!Copy !req
759. Mama! Mama!Copy !req
760. No, man, we gon' die!Copy !req
761. Aaah!Copy !req
762. Aaah!Copy !req
763. Let's go!Copy !req
764. I'm hit. I'm hit!Copy !req
765. - Hey, legs!Copy !req
766. Legs, you okay, man?Copy !req
767. You got hit
by the bullets, man?Copy !req
768. No, I got hit by a car.Copy !req
769. Come on. Hey, nigger.Copy !req
770. Let's help him get— let's get him
in the truck. Hey, get his baby shoe.Copy !req
771. Nigger, I know you're crippled,
but help me out. Come on.Copy !req
772. - Why?
- Bring your simple ass, tray!Copy !req
773. Oh, my head. My head!Copy !req
774. J-nug, you all right?
Answer me, man. You all right? J-nug!Copy !req
775. - Fuck it! Help!
- Sister, sister!Copy !req
776. - We need a doctor fast!
- You know, I went to see
Jason's lyric this weekend.Copy !req
777. Ooh, yeah, g money— wasn't he cute?
Did you see his butt? It was hairy.Copy !req
778. - I know you didn't think
that "ass-fro" was cute.
- We need a doctor right now!Copy !req
779. - Yeah, I'm gonna have to
call you back, okay?
- Right now, sister!Copy !req
780. - What I'm gonna need you to do
is fill this form out.
- Thank you.Copy !req
781. - May I have a pen, please? Thank you.Copy !req
782. Excuse me. Do you know where
I can get some water around here?Copy !req
783. Oh, God!Copy !req
784. Here.Copy !req
785. - Thanks.
- You're number 1,012.Copy !req
786. One thousand, twelve.
One thousand, twelve.Copy !req
787. Number 213. Now serving number 213.Copy !req
788. - Damn!
- Damn, I hope I'm next.Copy !req
789. - Come on.
- We're gonna do it.Copy !req
790. Between
crazy legs being hit in the drive-by,Copy !req
791. the Korean store shootings,
jail and dashiki being pregnant,Copy !req
792. - dashiki, open the door!
- I felt like I was about to explode.Copy !req
793. Whoo!Copy !req
794. What are you doing?Copy !req
795. Trying to win best actor
on the soul train awards.Copy !req
796. Look, dashiki,
I'm sorry about last night.Copy !req
797. I thought about it and
I want to be a father to my child.Copy !req
798. And another thing.Copy !req
799. I also realized
how much I love you.Copy !req
800. And I wanna leave the hood
with you.Copy !req
801. But there's something
we need to do before we go.Copy !req
802. Look, I'm taking the kids
and I'm moving out of the hood.Copy !req
803. I just wanted them to come
say good-bye to their daddies.Copy !req
804. Gimme the man.Copy !req
805. You're a good brother, tray. Yeah.Copy !req
806. Me?Copy !req
807. I've been in jail
a long time, t.Copy !req
808. Sometimes I feel like
a caged animal.Copy !req
809. How come you never
came to see me, man?Copy !req
810. Nigger, I don't know you.Copy !req
811. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
812. You don't know me.
That's right. That's right.Copy !req
813. But dig this here, tray.Copy !req
814. Teach my son
how to be a man, tray.Copy !req
815. How to be a man.Copy !req
816. Gimme some.Copy !req
817. Jif!Copy !req
818. Hey, what's up, home? Hey.Copy !req
819. Hey, man,
you got everything?Copy !req
820. Cool.Copy !req
821. - I'm gonna get some, right?
- Oh, nigger, don't even
play me like that.Copy !req
822. All right. Come on, man.Copy !req
823. hey, what's up, crazy?Copy !req
824. Hey, brother!
How you feelin', man?Copy !req
825. How you doin', brother?Copy !req
826. Doctor say I ain't
ever gonna walk again.Copy !req
827. - No, no!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
828. - Homie.
- Homie.Copy !req
829. - No.
- Fool, get off me!Copy !req
830. You've been paralyzed
for the last five years.Copy !req
831. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
832. Don't worry, legs, man.Copy !req
833. When I find that toothpick,
I'm gonna smoke him.Copy !req
834. No! We need to put an end to
all this black-on-black crime.Copy !req
835. - We need to call a truce.
- What about that time you shot Byron?Copy !req
836. - Ain't that black-on-black crime?
- Yeah.Copy !req
837. - No. Byron was light-skinned.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
838. - Hey, you're about
to go to this party?
- Yeah.Copy !req
839. - And, uh, you're gonna
be doing some drinking?
- A little something.Copy !req
840. Let me tell you about
drinking and driving, man.Copy !req
841. Boy, that shit is fun, man. Yo, what
you do is get yourself a 40, right?Copy !req
842. You get on the freeway—
Bam— punch it to 85.Copy !req
843. Then you turn off your lights,
let go of the steering wheel.Copy !req
844. - Oh, it will bug you out.
You got to try it, man.
- Oh, man!Copy !req
845. - I'm gonna try it.
- Hey, why didn't y'all
invite me to the party?Copy !req
846. - Come on, pop. You know
you gotta be 18 and older.
- Oh, man.Copy !req
847. Besides, it's getting past your bedtime.
You brush your teeth?Copy !req
848. - Yeah.
- Let me see.Copy !req
849. - No. There we go.Copy !req
850. - All right, I'm out.
- All right. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
851. Before you go, why don't you
read me, like, a bedtime story,
like the good old days?Copy !req
852. - All right. Just one.
- That's all I need.Copy !req
853. All right.Copy !req
854. Flip to a good one.
Here we go.Copy !req
855. "This is the story
of dick and Mary."Copy !req
856. Mary lies on the bed
and spreads her thighs.Copy !req
857. Dick thrusts his large member
into her waiting vagina.Copy !req
858. - 'Fuck me, fuck me, ' Mary screams.Copy !req
859. Dick covers her head with a pillow
'cause she's too noisy.Copy !req
860. - Yeah.
- Dick continues to pound
her swollen opening...Copy !req
861. 'Til he climates.Copy !req
862. 'Oh! I'm coming! I'm coming!
Oh! Oh! Ohh!Copy !req
863. - Yeah. Oh. Oh.
- Oh. Oh.'Copy !req
864. "and he falls asleep."Copy !req
865. - Mmm.
- Good night, pops.Copy !req
866. Domino, nigger! Yeah!Copy !req
867. Hey, what's up,
what's up, niggers? Hey!Copy !req
868. What's up, baby? Hey, what
you making, some jiffy pop?Copy !req
869. - What's up, bro?
- What's up, baby?
How you doin'? All right.Copy !req
870. - What's up, nigger?
Black-on-black crime!
- What's going on?Copy !req
871. What's up, man?Copy !req
872. I got one question.
Who's got that chronic, nigger?Copy !req
873. - Come on, nigger.
- Who got that chronic?Copy !req
874. I got that ill killer shit.
Guaranteed to fuck you up.Copy !req
875. Hey, nigger, light
that shit up. Fuck me up.Copy !req
876. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
877. Ooh!Copy !req
878. - Toke! Toke! Nigger, toke!
- Whoo!Copy !req
879. - Look at that shit! Ah-ha!Copy !req
880. - Hey, man, he's going
into convulsions!Copy !req
881. - Man, he ain't breathin'.
- He's foamin' at the mouth, man.Copy !req
882. Yo, he dead.Copy !req
883. Yo, pass that shit!Copy !req
884. Yo, pass that. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
885. Hit it!Copy !req
886. - Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it!Copy !req
887. Uh-huh. See, now, that's what
I'm talking about, shabomboo.Copy !req
888. - So good, so good.
- Yeah, nigga's trying to
hide the good shit.Copy !req
889. Ha-ha!Copy !req
890. - Baby, you wanna dance?Copy !req
891. Yes, I do, but not with you.Copy !req
892. hey, girl, how you doin'?
My name is loc dog.Copy !req
893. - What's your name?
- LA quanda.Copy !req
894. Whoo!Copy !req
895. LA quanda, do you have a boyfriend?Copy !req
896. No. You know, men always seem
to be really intimidated by me.Copy !req
897. But I don't know why.Copy !req
898. - You know?Copy !req
899. Well, you know, uh—Copy !req
900. I can understand how a pretty girl like
yourself might make a man a little sick.Copy !req
901. Oh, I mean nervous.Copy !req
902. Yeah, well, it takes a really
special kind of man to be with me.Copy !req
903. - Ooh.Copy !req
904. - You know?
- Yeah, well, let me go find him.Copy !req
905. - Damn, girl, you need to
slow down with that.Copy !req
906. You ain't my daddy,
and you ain't payin' any of my bills.Copy !req
907. - Mind your business.Copy !req
908. Ooh! That my song.Copy !req
909. - Hi.Copy !req
910. Uh, my name is loc dog.
What's your name?Copy !req
911. - Keisha.
- Keisha?Copy !req
912. - You always this shy, keisha?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
913. Look here, keisha, why don't we go back
to my place and have a little nightcap.Copy !req
914. I don't know.Copy !req
915. - Mmm?
- I just met you.Copy !req
916. Hey, girl, the dog don't bite
unless you ask him.Copy !req
917. - Okay.
- All right. Come on.Copy !req
918. I guess it'll be all right.Copy !req
919. Baby, you really love me.Copy !req
920. - You know I do, girl.
- Mmm.Copy !req
921. Hmm.Copy !req
922. Gu-go-go-go-go-go.Copy !req
923. Mm-mmm. I really shouldn't.Copy !req
924. Mm-mmm. Come on, girl.
Ain't gonna hurt you.Copy !req
925. - Mm.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
926. It's just that when I drink,
sometimes I get a little crazy.Copy !req
927. And that's what I want.Copy !req
928. See, I don't want you to think
I'm a freak or nothin' like that,Copy !req
929. because I usually don't even go home
with guys when I first meet 'em.Copy !req
930. But I just feel
so comfortable with you.Copy !req
931. Hey, and that's good, girl.Copy !req
932. - Whenever you're with me,
- mm-hmm?Copy !req
933. I want you to just relax
and be yourself.Copy !req
934. You are so nasty.Copy !req
935. - I should be going.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, baby.Copy !req
936. Relax. Okay? Just relax.Copy !req
937. Don't you go nowhere.Copy !req
938. You're in good hands now, girl. Loc
dog's gonna take good care of you, baby.Copy !req
939. You sure... it's okay?Copy !req
940. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
941. I want you to just
be yourself, okay?Copy !req
942. I told you I could
get a little crazy.Copy !req
943. Yeah, you get crazy. Come on.Copy !req
944. Okay.Copy !req
945. All right,
motherfucker, let's get it on.Copy !req
946. Oh, no, nigger,
you ain't going nowhere.Copy !req
947. - Ahh.
- Ahh, fresh air, fresh fish.Copy !req
948. - Nothin' like the great
outdoors, huh, pop?
- No.Copy !req
949. Pop, can we talk,
teenager to teenager?Copy !req
950. See, I met this girl.
She's pretty special.Copy !req
951. She's moving out of the hood
in a couple of days, and I'm
thinking about going with her.Copy !req
952. Man, who is this girl?Copy !req
953. - Her name's dashiki.
- Dashiki from over there
on penetration Avenue?Copy !req
954. Oh, come on, pop! Don't tell me
you slept with her too.Copy !req
955. Oh, no, no. It ain't
nothin' like that, son.Copy !req
956. - She sure could suck a dick, though.
- What?Copy !req
957. Oh, nothing, son. Go ahead.
Tell me about this girl.Copy !req
958. Anyway, I think I'm in love.Copy !req
959. So, what?
You knockin' boobs yet?Copy !req
960. - Yeah.
- Hold on.Copy !req
961. You use a condom?Copy !req
962. No.Copy !req
963. Good! That's my boy!
That's my boy!Copy !req
964. Yo, never use condoms, son.
They take away all the feelin'.Copy !req
965. Yeah. Only thing is,
now she's pregnant.Copy !req
966. - I don't know what to do.
- Man, look.Copy !req
967. Let me give you the same advice
my father gave me, all right?Copy !req
968. Give up hope. Look at me.
Dreams are for suckers.Copy !req
969. Ain't no future for you.Copy !req
970. And don't think about
gettin' no job, tray,Copy !req
971. 'cause a black man ain't got no place
in the work force.Copy !req
972. So let me get this straight.Copy !req
973. What you trying to say is, don't get
caught up in the white man's system...Copy !req
974. Of self-perpetuating
unemployment...Copy !req
975. And wind up trying to survive on
welfare checks and food stamps, right?Copy !req
976. Wrong, man! Hell, ain't nothing wrong
with no welfare check.Copy !req
977. That's called free money. Hell, our
family survived six generations on it.Copy !req
978. Thanks, pop.Copy !req
979. - You always know what to say, man.
- I thought you knew, boy.Copy !req
980. My boy tray.
Gettin' himself some sex.Copy !req
981. Yeah.Copy !req
982. - See, man, right over here.
- Gettin' locked up
in the city ain't the same.Copy !req
983. Get the map!Copy !req
984. Fuck it. Let's go twist
these niggers in a cat bag, man.Copy !req
985. Can't you read, man?
It's over here.Copy !req
986. Read this. Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
987. - Drive!
- Let's go.Copy !req
988. - What's up, loc?
- What's up, tray?Copy !req
989. Can't believe your mark-ass
is finally leavin' the hood.Copy !req
990. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me and dashiki's gonna tie that knot.Copy !req
991. - You need to tie a knot
in that bitch's tubes.
- Naw.Copy !req
992. - Really.
- I actually think we're
gonna be all right.Copy !req
993. - Hey, why don't you come with us?
- What?Copy !req
994. Take a road trip
in a mail truck?Copy !req
995. Fool, that's the stupidest
idea I ever heard.Copy !req
996. Well, anyway...
You just be careful.Copy !req
997. Come on now, baby.
You're talkin' to loc dog. Ha-ha!Copy !req
998. You know I'm gonna be all right.Copy !req
999. Shoot.Copy !req
1000. Hey, tray.Copy !req
1001. Never forget, man.Copy !req
1002. Either they don't know...Copy !req
1003. Or don't show
or just don't care...Copy !req
1004. About bein' a menace
to South central while
they drink their juice in the hood.Copy !req
1005. That's what it's all about, tray.
That's what it's all about.Copy !req
1006. What the fuck
is he talkin' about?Copy !req
1007. - Hey, what's up, little homie?
- What's up?Copy !req
1008. How you doin', man?
Hey, you want some of this?
Make you grow hair on your nuts.Copy !req
1009. Say, man, don't be giving
that little kid no alcohol.Copy !req
1010. - You ain't his daddy.
- I ain't? Hold up.Copy !req
1011. Dashiki! Bitch, you better give me
back my child support money!Copy !req
1012. Yeah. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1013. - Hey, what's up, little man?
- Shh.Copy !req
1014. Like I was saying, what's up
with them "hos" tonight?Copy !req
1015. Take care of my baby, all right?
And my truck.Copy !req
1016. - What?
- Come on, tray. You know
I'm only playing with you.Copy !req
1017. Just shoot everything
in sight. Everything!Copy !req
1018. - Hey! Hey!
- Hey, break yourself!Copy !req
1019. Somebody, help me!Copy !req
1020. Dashiki! I'll call you later.Copy !req
1021. - Page me!Copy !req
1022. Aaah!Copy !req
1023. I'm coming!Copy !req
1024. Is you okay, snowflake?Copy !req
1025. Oh, yes, my big
chocolate warrior.Copy !req
1026. Uh-uh.Copy !req
1027. - Doo rag, take care of your mama!Copy !req
1028. Aah!Copy !req
1029. Break yourself!Copy !req
1030. Aaagh! Take that, motherfucker!Copy !req
1031. - Aaagh!
- Ugh!Copy !req
1032. Take that, motherfucker!Copy !req
1033. Hey, man, watch out! Aaaah!Copy !req
1034. Hey. You know
you fucked up, right?Copy !req
1035. - Yeah, you fucked up.
Hear what I'm saying?Copy !req
1036. Hey, grandma,
you got the juice now.Copy !req
1037. - Oh, go to hell.Copy !req
1038. Damn.Copy !req
1039. Tray, I'll marry you.
I promise. Just wake up.Copy !req
1040. I know, sister. I know.Copy !req
1041. - You're gonna miss him, aren't you?
- You damn right!Copy !req
1042. Where else am I gonna find
a pussy-whipped fool to take care
of me and seven kids?Copy !req
1043. Oh, ashtray!Copy !req
1044. Listen, sister, listen!Copy !req
1045. You are a strong
African-American woman.Copy !req
1046. And it's because of that
I can't be with you.Copy !req
1047. - Oh, looky there. Time for me to
take out the poor white trash.Copy !req
1048. Oh, ashtray!Copy !req
1049. Who you calling whipped, girl?Copy !req
1050. You're alive!Copy !req
1051. Ow! Ohh!Copy !req
1052. Oh, lord, why you do this to me?
Oh, Christ, I can't take it!Copy !req
1053. I can't take it!
I can't take it!Copy !req
1054. Oh, my God!
Oh, my baby!Copy !req
1055. - Ohh! Ohh!Copy !req
1056. Oh, mama.Copy !req
1057. Mama. I swallowed
my toothpick, mama.Copy !req
1058. Oh, baby, you're okay! Ohh!Copy !req
1059. Now, where's my money you stole,
you little hoodlum?Copy !req
1060. Give me my money.
I want my money.Copy !req
1061. - I'll beat the shit out of you!
- Okay, okay!Copy !req
1062. Where's my money?Copy !req
1063. Well, that's my story.Copy !req
1064. As for dashiki and I,
we got married.Copy !req
1065. Loc dog went
into show business.Copy !req
1066. I just want to say: Fuck y'all,
suck my dick, and, uh... iick ass!Copy !req
1067. Preach, he settled down.Copy !req
1068. Crazy legs' dream of becoming
a dancer finally came true.Copy !req
1069. And as for grandma,
well, she's still grandma.Copy !req
1070. Damn! This is some good shit!Copy !req