1. what up, y'all?
Copy !req
2. Yo. I'm fixin' to tell you
how it is in the hood.
Copy !req
3. See, 'cause in the hood,
everybody's a target.
Copy !req
4. No, it ain't like that.
I'm goin' tell you the real deal
what it goes on in the hood.
Copy !req
5. See, in the hood, most of us
won't reach the age of 21.
Copy !req
6. - for me?
- Yeah. Make a wish.
Copy !req
7. Agh!
Copy !req
8. No, lord! No, lord! Not my baby!
I know you didn't do me wrong, lord!
Copy !req
9. No! He done—
My junior!
Copy !req
10. I nursed him with these!
Lord, why?
Copy !req
11. - Not my baby!
- Yo. Yo!
Copy !req
12. Yo, yo! This ain't your baby.
This ain't your baby.
Copy !req
13. Ain't that some shit.
Copy !req
14. I'm outta here.
Copy !req
15. I'm gonna tell you what
it's really like livin' in the hood.
Copy !req
16. I moved back into my father's
house after livin' with my moms
for most of my life.
Copy !req
17. Tray, I don't want you
hangin' out in the streets.
Copy !req
18. I want you to finish school,
Copy !req
19. 'cause without an education the only
work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs,
Copy !req
20. pimpin' women or workin'
security for Eddie Murphy.
Copy !req
21. Now, I've done all I can.
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22. I got my education;
I worked two jobs to support you.
Copy !req
23. But I can't teach you
how to be a man.
Copy !req
24. Only your father
can do that.
Copy !req
25. Now gimme a kiss
and be a good boy.
Copy !req
26. - I love you, tray.
- Love you too, mom.
Copy !req
27. So, will I see you again?
Copy !req
28. Sorry, baby.
Copy !req
29. You know there ain't no positive
black females in these movies.
Copy !req
30. Sorry.
Copy !req
31. My father tried
his best to give me advice.
Copy !req
32. The problem was, he was only
a couple of years older than me.
Copy !req
33. Fool, I told you I don't
want no damn watchtower!
Copy !req
34. Hey, what's up, nigger?
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35. - What's up, pops?
- How you doin', man?
Copy !req
36. - How you doin', man?
- How's it goin'?
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37. - Man!
- Look at you. It's goin' be on!
Copy !req
38. - Look at you, man!
Look, you got big, man!
- You know.
Copy !req
39. Last time I seen you,
you was about this tall.
Copy !req
40. They wouldn't even let you on
the rides at the amusement park.
Had to take you to kiddie land.
Copy !req
41. - Remember that?
- Yeah, but it's all good.
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42. - I was just about to eat
breakfast. You hungry?
- No, I'm full, man.
Copy !req
43. - I had some red hots.
- Is that right?
Cool. Hey, man, come on in.
Copy !req
44. Please allow me.
You're the guest in my house, man.
Copy !req
45. Make yourself at home.
Hey, are those your Bo's?
Copy !req
46. - Yeah.
- Hey, I'm gonna be sportin' them, man.
Copy !req
47. It's good to have you
up in it too.
Copy !req
48. - I'm gonna finish gettin' my
swollen on right. Have a seat.
- All right. Cool.
Copy !req
49. Hey! Make sure your
ass is on that plastic.
Copy !req
50. Look, tray.
So we're not bumpin' heads.
Copy !req
51. Man, if you gon' be stayin' here,
you gon' have to follow some rules.
Copy !req
52. No smokin' my shit.
Don't let me catch you drinkin' my shit.
Copy !req
53. And if you bring any of them ho's up
in here, make sure I fuck 'em first.
Copy !req
54. And... you gon'
have some chores.
Copy !req
55. - Chores?
- That's right. Chores.
Copy !req
56. Nigger, this ain't gon'
be no free ride!
Copy !req
57. You gon' have to
keep track of my matchbox cars.
Copy !req
58. You got to organize the damn
sega genesis cartridges.
Copy !req
59. Do my homework, since you want
to be such a smart ass.
Copy !req
60. After that, in the nighttime,
cut the hair on my balls.
Copy !req
61. - Can I ask you a question, pop?
- Yeah.
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62. What you gon' be doin'?
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63. Hey! Look, nigger, I ain't got
to do nothin'. My mama take care of me.
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64. I know you think I'm bein' hard on you.
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65. What the hell. I guess I'm tryin'
to teach you some responsibility.
Copy !req
66. - You right, pop.
- No shit.
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67. Hey, could you do me a favor?
Could you line me up in the back?
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68. That's gon' run you
about $13.
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69. Thirteen dollars?
Come on, man. The Spanish dude
down the block only charges six.
Copy !req
70. - Well, take your ass to him
and let him fuck your head up.
- Nah, I'll let you cut me up.
Copy !req
71. Hey, tray, let me
ask you a question, man.
Copy !req
72. - What's up?
- You still a virgin?
Copy !req
73. Of course.
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74. Well, there was this one dude
who rubbed up against my butt
one time, but I ain't like it.
Copy !req
75. Hey, man, I'm talkin'
about girls, man!
Copy !req
76. Girls? C'mon, pops.
Now, you know I be gettin' mine.
Copy !req
77. - I mean, you gettin' it,
or you gettin' it?
- I'm gettin' it.
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78. - I didn't tell you about
that little honey dip?
- What honey?
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79. Pop, I met the finest
little brown-skinned cutie...
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80. Down at
the corner market, man.
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81. She had big breasts
and big legs. Ass was— pow!
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82. - Ghetto Booty! Yes.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
83. So, you know, I knew she liked me,
'cause we locked eyes.
Copy !req
84. — So I started to get into
my mack daddy Denzel mode.
Copy !req
85. You know? Yeah. So I start fixin' my
eyebrows, make sure they was straight.
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86. Fix my hair, make sure
it was slick and greasy.
Copy !req
87. - Makin' sure my breath wasn't stinkin'.
- Hey, get to the fuckin' part!
Copy !req
88. Okay. So anyway...
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89. I went over to her house
one Sunday mornin'.
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90. Her moms had
just gone to church.
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91. And we had the place
all to ourself.
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92. So you know, we got to kissin',
lickin', slobbin'.
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93. You know, doin' the wild thing.
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94. When we got up there,
it was like heaven.
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95. Better than
my wildest fantasies.
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96. Well, apparently, her moms must have
forgot her purse or somethin',
Copy !req
97. 'Cause she came back home.
Copy !req
98. I guess she could smell sex in the air.
Copy !req
99. I got a surprise for you.
Copy !req
100. - And that's when things
really got freaky.
- Come on.
Copy !req
101. Before I knew it the door burst open...
Copy !req
102. And there was her mama!
Copy !req
103. Hold him down, baby.
Let mama have him.
Copy !req
104. I grabbed my things and got out
of there the best way I could.
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105. Yeah. I sure do hope
you got her number.
Copy !req
106. - The girl?
- Hell, no. Her mama. She the freak.
Copy !req
107. Hey, hey. Pops, don't go up
too high in the back.
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108. Man, don't worry about this.
We all done. There we go.
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109. - Yeah.
- I got something for you
to make the girls...
Copy !req
110. Think you're smelling good.
Copy !req
111. All hooked up, partner. Gimme my $13.
Copy !req
112. - All right, give it up!
It's a Jack move, fool.
- J-j-just don't shoot.
Copy !req
113. Hey, come back here with my truck!
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114. Will you— come here!
Son, gimme that truck back!
Copy !req
115. Man, you got
any spare change?
Copy !req
116. Sorry, bro.
I'm all out, man.
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117. Man, I got these
cheeseburgers, man.
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118. I don't want any cheeseburgers.
Copy !req
119. Please, man?
I'll suck your dick.
Copy !req
120. Ill. Get outta here, man!
Get outta here!
Copy !req
121. It hurt me to wake up and see
my beautiful black people suffer,
Copy !req
122. victimized by the oppressive,
harsh realities of the hood.
Copy !req
123. I guess, even though we were free,
we were still slaves...
Copy !req
124. In the mind.
Copy !req
125. Message.
Copy !req
126. Luckily, I wasn't alone
here in the hood.
Copy !req
127. See, my cousin loc dog
lived right across the street.
Copy !req
128. Loc dog was America's
worst nightmare.
Copy !req
129. poverty and profanity.
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130. You wakin' up the fuckin'
babies, motherfucker!
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131. This still my motherfuckin' house!
Copy !req
132. Who the fuck is that
on my porch?
Copy !req
133. - Hey, Mrs. Dog.
- Hey, ashtray.
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134. - You come to stay
with your daddy for good?
- Yeah.
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135. Come on in.
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136. You tell your pretty-ass,
motherfuckin' daddy I said hello?
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137. Yeah.
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138. Baby, do me a favor and
pass me that shit over there.
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139. Hey!
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140. - Care for a little soup?
- No, thanks. I'm cool.
Copy !req
141. - Is loc dog here?
- Yeah, that lazy-ass
motherfucker is in the back,
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142. doin' nothin', as usual.
Copy !req
143. - Okay. Well, I'll see you later.
- All right, babe.
Copy !req
144. Hey, grandma.
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145. Ashtray! You little
bitch-ass motherfucker!
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146. Come over here
and give your grandma a hug.
Copy !req
147. That's my nigger.
Copy !req
148. - You been wearin' them Jimmy hats
like grandma gave you?
- Yes, ma'am.
Copy !req
149. - How are you?
- My old stinky ass is fine,
Copy !req
150. 'cept for my arthritis
in my trigger finger.
Copy !req
151. - But I can still stick and move.
- I bet you can.
Copy !req
152. That beatin' the police give me
didn't slow me down a bit.
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153. C'mon, motherfucker.
Gimme your best shot.
Copy !req
154. C'mon, grandma.
I don't wanna do nothin' like that.
Copy !req
155. - Aw, c'mon.
- Come on, grandma. I don't
wanna do that. Stop. Come on.
Copy !req
156. Ooh.
Copy !req
157. Damn, them fake teeth
are hard.
Copy !req
158. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
159. You still hit like a bitch,
motherfucker.
Copy !req
160. Loc dog was
gonna teach me to survive in the hood,
Copy !req
161. even if it killed me.
Copy !req
162. Tray, is that you?
Copy !req
163. Hey, you better start
announcin' yourself...
Copy !req
164. Before you get smoked
up in here, nigger. Damn!
Copy !req
165. You know that chronic
make me paranoid, baby.
Copy !req
166. Come here, you old fool-dog,
mark-ass trick. Gimme some love.
Copy !req
167. - What's up, cuz?
- All right. That's enough of that love.
Copy !req
168. I don't play that sentimental shit.
Come on. Come in.
Copy !req
169. Quick fashion question.
Copy !req
170. Should I wear this tec-9
with the high-tops?
Copy !req
171. Or should I wear this uzi
with my low-tops?
Copy !req
172. I'll just wear these then.
Copy !req
173. Hey, tray, scoot over. Rumor has
it your bitch ass is in town for good.
Copy !req
174. Yeah, man. Moms is beepin'.
She says time for me to become a man.
Copy !req
175. Nigger, my mom said
the same shit! Sweatin' me, nigger!
Copy !req
176. Yeah, man. Hey. I don't care though.
You know, I told her,
Copy !req
177. I don't wanna be on welfare my
whole life; You know what I'm sayin'?
Copy !req
178. For real, nigger. I got bigger and
better plans. You know what I'm sayin'?
Copy !req
179. Figure I'll get me a job at the
post office. You know, maybe at a bank.
Copy !req
180. - That's all good, man.
- Work real hard.
Work my way up to manager.
Copy !req
181. We need more black people
like this, man.
Copy !req
182. Learn the system a little bit,
then I'll rob that motherfucker blind.
Copy !req
183. Break all yourselves.
Copy !req
184. Hey, loc, man. Whatever happened
to your pops anyway?
Copy !req
185. That old mark-ass nigger ran out
on us like a little biz-nitch.
Copy !req
186. You know, it's—
Copy !req
187. You know, it's kinda tough—
Copy !req
188. Growin' up in the hood
without a—
Copy !req
189. Without a positive male role model
to look up to.
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190. Message.
Copy !req
191. Aw, nigger, come on.
Copy !req
192. Let's go get preach and crazy legs
and go to this picnic real quick.
Copy !req
193. Come on.
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194. Damn!
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195. This is some good shit.
Copy !req
196. You have your black ass
back here by Friday,
Copy !req
197. 'cause the social worker's
comin' on over here and
I'm still claimin' your ass.
Copy !req
198. Quit sweatin' me. Shoot.
Copy !req
199. And grandma, you better stay out
my lndo, 'fore I smoke your ass!
Copy !req
200. Aw, go fuck yourself, nigger.
Copy !req
201. Our friend preach was a former
gang member turned activist.
Copy !req
202. But now he's just plain confused.
Copy !req
203. - Preach. What up, nigger?
- Y'all need to stop usin'
the word nigger.
Copy !req
204. You see, it's terms like the word nigger
that the white man uses...
Copy !req
205. To take away the self-esteem
of another race!
Copy !req
206. - Word.
- Yeah. Remind me
to pick my laundry up...
Copy !req
207. From that chink motherfucker
up the street.
Copy !req
208. Crazy legs used
to be the best dancer in the hood.
Copy !req
209. But now he's paralyzed from
the waist down after a drive-by.
Copy !req
210. What's up, crazy?
Copy !req
211. Hey, what's up, y'all? I be right
there, all right?
Copy !req
212. Whoo!
Copy !req
213. - That's the way to start the day.
How you doin'?
- Hi, crazy.
Copy !req
214. - Hi, yourself. How's my little partner?
- Hello, little pygmy brother.
Copy !req
215. - All right, African brother.
- Hey, hold that.
Copy !req
216. Loc dog didn't
have the flyest ride in the hood,
Copy !req
217. but it was reliable
in rain, sleet or snow.
Copy !req
218. Hey, you guys.
Y'all want to see a dead body?
Copy !req
219. - Yeah! Of course.
- Come on.
Copy !req
220. I told you he was dead.
Copy !req
221. Hey, where you goin', girl?
Copy !req
222. Damn! Hey, tray, if you can't
get nothin' up in here,
Copy !req
223. - you gonna straight die a virgin.
- Shit, man.
Copy !req
224. Hey, y'all. Look at them
freaks gettin' busy on the dance floor.
Copy !req
225. there's all kinds
of bitches here!
Copy !req
226. What did I tell you about disrespectin'
my nubian princesses?
Copy !req
227. - Aw, come on!
- Quit disrespect— you need—
Copy !req
228. My God. The mother of mecca
is right here before me.
Copy !req
229. Do my eyes not deceive me...
Copy !req
230. Or am I lookin'
at the goddess lsis herself?
Copy !req
231. Can you—
Can you do me a favor,
Copy !req
232. my brown-skinned angel?
Copy !req
233. Can you tap that white girl for me?
Copy !req
234. My milk of magnesia.
Copy !req
235. After the devil made you
he broke the mold.
Copy !req
236. But maybe you and I could,
make a little jungle fever?
Copy !req
237. Hey, this one to all my dead homies,
you know what I'm sayin'?
Copy !req
238. I remember the first time I saw dashiki.
Copy !req
239. She was fine enough
to be jet beauty of the week.
Copy !req
240. - What's up, nigger?
- Yo, man. Who's this
fine girl over here?
Copy !req
241. Nigger, that's dashiki.
Copy !req
242. Stay away from there. Everybody
in the hood's been up with her.
Copy !req
243. Shoot. She got more kids
than Mrs. Wayans.
Copy !req
244. - Damn!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
245. Anyway, that's toothpick's ex-girl. You
don't want any of that boy's old scraps.
Copy !req
246. - Toothpick
got used to bein' in jail.
- Damn!
Copy !req
247. So much so that even on the outside, he
lived like he was still on the inside.
Copy !req
248. Gimme a knife, boy.
Keep it down. Keep it down.
Copy !req
249. Bone check, homey.
Bone check!
Copy !req
250. Five dollars a head!
Five dollars.
Copy !req
251. - I got top!
- Go fish!
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252. - What they in for, man?
- Five dollars, Buster!
Copy !req
253. I got that.
I can cover that.
Copy !req
254. Here. Here you go.
Copy !req
255. What?
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256. My money ain't good?
Copy !req
257. Do you know how many
crumb cakes I can get for that?
Copy !req
258. How many chocolate milks?
How many bars of soap?
Copy !req
259. Deal my cards! Just hurry up and
deal my cards. Deal, deal, deal!
Copy !req
260. - All right, nigger! One up, two.
- Shit.
Copy !req
261. Hello.
Copy !req
262. - She wants me.
- Why you keep wastin' your time
with that trick?
Copy !req
263. Tellin' you, you need yourself
somethin' with some class.
Copy !req
264. Someone you can take home to stepmama.
You know what I'm tryin' to say?
Copy !req
265. Get yourself a real woman.
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266. A real woman.
Copy !req
267. Hey, tray, you see
that bitch over there?
Copy !req
268. - I see her.
- Now, that's a lady.
Copy !req
269. I bet you I can
get her number.
Copy !req
270. - Nigger, you ain't gettin'
nobody's number.
- Fool, watch me.
Copy !req
271. Break yourself! Gimme your
goddamn number. Come on! Hurry up!
Copy !req
272. Cool, cool, cool. So, um, I'm gonna
give you a call about 5:00, all right?
Copy !req
273. - I said all right?
- Y-y-yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
274. All right, sweetheart.
Take care of yourself, all right?
Copy !req
275. I told you
I'd get her number.
Copy !req
276. hey, beautiful.
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277. - Please!
- Hey, mister.
Copy !req
278. - What's up, little man?
- Aw, you're just tryin'
to get some from my mama.
Copy !req
279. Ho! Snap. No, little man.
Actually, what I'm tryin'--
Copy !req
280. Gimme a dollar,
and I'll leave you alone.
Copy !req
281. Cute little kid.
By the way, my name is ashtray.
Copy !req
282. My name is dashiki.
That's Swahili for "doggie-style."
Copy !req
283. - Ooh, that's pretty.
- Those are my kids.
Copy !req
284. Hello, everybody.
Copy !req
285. Now, children. What do you say
when you meet a nice man?
Copy !req
286. Are you my daddy?
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287. Ooh. All I know is I'd
really like to take you out.
Copy !req
288. You and your seven kids.
Copy !req
289. That sounds nice, but I'm leavin'
the hood in a couple of days.
Copy !req
290. Really? Man, I can't wait for the day
I can move out of the hood.
Copy !req
291. Well, look, I know I just met you,
but you're welcome to come along.
Copy !req
292. I mean, I need somebody
to help me change all them diapers.
Copy !req
293. Is that it? Diapers?
Copy !req
294. I used to change my father's
diapers all the time. Ain't no thing.
Copy !req
295. Listen.
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296. You think about it, okay?
Copy !req
297. And if you're serious,
let me know.
Copy !req
298. Hey, man, ain't that dashiki
over there kissin' that fool, man?
Copy !req
299. Man? Right there!
Copy !req
300. - Yeah.
- Damn!
Copy !req
301. I'se gon' shank that fool
right now!
Copy !req
302. Pick, you trippin', man. Damn.
Copy !req
303. Nigger, that's old news!
Think about it, nigger.
Copy !req
304. You been in jail
five years now.
Copy !req
305. Man, it's only been 1,825 days,
six hours and 13 minutes!
Copy !req
306. She could've waited!
Copy !req
307. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm just sayin'
why go back to jail. You know?
Copy !req
308. I ain't worried about jail!
What the fuck— you sound like a bitch.
Copy !req
309. - Bitch!
- Man, I ain't worried about jail!
Copy !req
310. Shit, I— I don't give a damn
about goin' to jail.
Copy !req
311. - You can take me to jail!
- Take me to jail!
Copy !req
312. - Shit, lock me up!
- Lock me up!
Copy !req
313. - Throw away the key!
- Throw away the key!
Copy !req
314. I ain't afraid to fuck
somebody in his ass!
Copy !req
315. - This fool is trippin'.
- I'm outta here.
Copy !req
316. You on your own there, bro.
Copy !req
317. Yeah, y'all. Come on, man.
Copy !req
318. Y'all ain't never been
in a shower with a man?
Copy !req
319. And you see the suds
crawl down the crack of his ass...
Copy !req
320. And you just...
Copy !req
321. Be, tou—
Copy !req
322. I was foolin' y'all, man!
Copy !req
323. I was foolin' y'all!
Those was jokes!
Copy !req
324. Whoo! Whoo!
Copy !req
325. Hey, man, fuck this. I'm goin'.
Copy !req
326. I don't usually be kissin'
like that when I first meet someone.
Copy !req
327. But you special. -
Copy !req
328. - Cigarette?
- Ashtray.
Copy !req
329. Yeah. Ashtray.
Copy !req
330. Hey, stupid.
Copy !req
331. You realize you just kissed
every nigger in the party?
Copy !req
332. Now come on. I gotta go to the store
and get some more forties.
Copy !req
333. Okay. Yeah. All right.
Copy !req
334. Whoo! Now, that there
is somethin' special.
Copy !req
335. How come you talk all that noise
about white men, and then
go date white women, fool?
Copy !req
336. No. You see, I'm just
tryin' to do to white girls...
Copy !req
337. - What the white man's been doin'
to us for 400 years!
- Yeah? What's that?
Copy !req
338. Fuck 'em. Amy jo!
Copy !req
339. You cold. He cold.
Copy !req
340. Yeah, yeah.
Forties and nines.
Copy !req
341. That's
my favorite store.
Copy !req
342. Hey. I'm gonna go in here
and get me a malt liquor slurpee.
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343. Run across the street
and get me some barbecue potato chips.
Copy !req
344. - Ooh.
- Can I keep the change?
Copy !req
345. Hell, no, fool.
That's a ten-dollar food stamp.
Copy !req
346. Better bring me back
my change.
Copy !req
347. - Cheapskate.
- Stupid.
Copy !req
348. What's up now,
you pretty punk trick?
Copy !req
349. Hey! What's up?
We got a problem, toothpick?
Copy !req
350. I said,
do we have a problem?
Copy !req
351. We got a problem for ya.
Copy !req
352. Right here. This a problem.
Right there. Right there.
Copy !req
353. All right. We'll play a little game.
Copy !req
354. Right here.
Copy !req
355. I said do... we...
Copy !req
356. Have... a... problem?
Copy !req
357. "U.S.S.R."
Copy !req
358. You better get your stinky asses
outta here before I cause
a nuclear holocaust, fool.
Copy !req
359. Well, let's go!
Fool, come on!
Copy !req
360. It'll be Hiroshima
and nigger-saki.
Copy !req
361. - Fool, let's go! Let's go!
- That's right, boy!
You better get on outta here!
Copy !req
362. And don't come back!
Copy !req
363. - Punk!
- Tray, bring your simple behind on!
Copy !req
364. Hello?
Copy !req
365. - Hey, yo, man. You page me?
- Yeah, yeah. You ready to be out?
Copy !req
366. - Yeah. Let's move.
- All right.
Copy !req
367. I go and check them.
Copy !req
368. Hyyaaa-aah!
Copy !req
369. Hurry up and buy!
Copy !req
370. Hurry up and buy!
Copy !req
371. Hurry up and buy!
Copy !req
372. Break yourself!
Copy !req
373. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Copy !req
374. You dropped something.
Copy !req
375. Yeah! Break yourself, fool!
Copy !req
376. Yeah! Recognize.
Copy !req
377. Gimme my money back.
Copy !req
378. Word. Candy bars.
Hey! Ms. Lady bitch.
Copy !req
379. Hey. I'm talkin' to you.
How much for this candy bar?
Copy !req
380. Five dollar.
Copy !req
381. Better give me some sucky-sucky
with that for five dollars.
Copy !req
382. You don't like;
You don't buy.
Copy !req
383. Hey. Look here.
Copy !req
384. Just charge us for the chips
and the ice cream. All right? Shoot.
Copy !req
385. Hey, let's raise up outta here
'fore I loc up on these people.
Copy !req
386. Quit lickin' that damn ice cream
like that 'fore I put you on the
corner to make me some money!
Copy !req
387. I feel sorry
for your mother.
Copy !req
388. What'd you say
about my mama?
Copy !req
389. I don't want trouble. Just go!
Go home! Don't come back!
Copy !req
390. What'd you say about my mama?
Break yourself!
Copy !req
391. No!
Copy !req
392. You break; You buy!
Soda, five dollar!
Copy !req
393. Loc, what are you
doin', man? Come on!
Copy !req
394. Pickles!
Copy !req
395. Ten dollar!
Come on, gimme money!
Copy !req
396. Gimme money right now!
Copy !req
397. Right— shirt!
Copy !req
398. Nineteen ninety-five!
On sale! Come on!
Copy !req
399. Yo, loc! Are you crazy?
What the hell did you do?
Copy !req
400. - Hey, fool. It wasn't me!
- I ain't hurt nobody!
Copy !req
401. Catch.
Copy !req
402. The man!
Copy !req
403. Have a nice day.
Yeah.
Copy !req
404. - He's good.
- Come on, tray.
Let's get outta here!
Copy !req
405. hey, man,
check out that 6-4.
Copy !req
406. Aw, damn. What up, grandma?
Copy !req
407. Tell your daddy to page me.
Copy !req
408. All right, then. All right.
Play or stay up?
Copy !req
409. some of you womenfolk,
you get hot.
Copy !req
410. You get bothered. And every now
and again you get hot and bothered!
Copy !req
411. - Amen!
- Ha! Well, what I want you to do...
Copy !req
412. When you get that hot and
you need a little... relief,
Copy !req
413. - preach on, reverend!
- Ain't that the truth!
Copy !req
414. Amen! I got $100 right here!
Copy !req
415. Brother Deacon, get the collection plate
around on that side.
Copy !req
416. Nigger, get it around on that side.
Copy !req
417. We will now have a—
A "b" selection from the choir.
Copy !req
418. I feel the spirit!
Whoo! Yes.
Copy !req
419. Ain't that the truth?
Copy !req
420. All right, grandma!
Copy !req
421. - Yes, lord!
- Praise the lord!
Copy !req
422. well, Malik, kid, man.
How's it feel?
Copy !req
423. - Your first day of college?
- Aw, it ain't nothin' dope.
You be up in there next year.
Copy !req
424. I'm thinkin' about goin'
away to college myself, kids.
Copy !req
425. - Thank you, brother.
- Thank you. Hey, hey!
Copy !req
426. Loc, you better stop clownin',
get your g.E.D. Before you
end up like that brother.
Copy !req
427. - There you go, brother.
- Thank you, man.
Copy !req
428. Bro, I'm gonna get me
my "g-o-b." A job.
Copy !req
429. Yeah, I heard they hirin' down at b.M.
Motors, tray. Come down there with me.
Copy !req
430. Not today, loc.
I gotta take my driver's test.
Copy !req
431. This is what fresh air
smell like.
Copy !req
432. Yeah. You livin' it, man.
Copy !req
433. Wow. That's great.
Copy !req
434. - All right, man.
- All right, man.
Copy !req
435. - Stay up.
- All right, man.
Copy !req
436. All right. That's enough of all
that sentimental stuff.
Copy !req
437. Yo, Malik.
Don't forget about us, baby.
Copy !req
438. - Hey, one love, baby.
- Big baby!
Copy !req
439. - You know, Malik is the first one
in the hood to go to college.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
440. - Finally, someone from
the hood is gonna make it.
- Yeah, there is hope.
Copy !req
441. Yeah!
Copy !req
442. Hello, I'm Mr. Walker.
I'm your examiner for today.
Copy !req
443. Put on your seat belt,
check your mirrors; Let's begin.
Copy !req
444. Okay.
Copy !req
445. Make a right, right there.
Copy !req
446. And... make another left here.
Copy !req
447. Park right there.
Copy !req
448. Wait here.
Copy !req
449. - Come back here!
- Somebody call the police!
Copy !req
450. Drive, motherfucker! Drive!
Copy !req
451. - It was nice meeting you.
We'll be in touch.
- Thank you very much. Okay.
Copy !req
452. My God!
Copy !req
453. Hey!
Copy !req
454. Yes? May I help you?
Copy !req
455. Yeah, I heard y'all niggers
was hirin'. What's up?
Copy !req
456. Yes. Here. Why don't you
fill out this application?
Copy !req
457. Tsk. Make me write and shit.
Copy !req
458. If I was white,
wouldn't be makin' me write.
Copy !req
459. Well, actually, originally
I'm from the east coast.
Copy !req
460. But after my master's
I thought I'd take a break,
Copy !req
461. so here I am.
Copy !req
462. I was tired of living off of daddy.
Copy !req
463. "Age." Nineteen.
Copy !req
464. "Height." Six-deuce, babe.
Copy !req
465. "Father's name."
I don't know.
Copy !req
466. "Sex." Hell, yeah, nigger.
Copy !req
467. "Salary desired."
Copy !req
468. Three million dollars.
Copy !req
469. Cash.
Copy !req
470. You know, being an lvy leaguer
can be such a leg up.
Copy !req
471. You know, I spent five years
at Harvard.
Copy !req
472. Really? I just spent
six months at county.
Copy !req
473. Anybody ever try and take
your manhood?
Copy !req
474. Then he sees the warden comin',
so he hides you, but you still
got that plunger in your ass.
Copy !req
475. - So you just squeal and cry.
- Um—
Copy !req
476. - Don't you hate when that happens?
- Let's get outta here.
Copy !req
477. - Hey, where y'all goin'?
- Loc dog?
Copy !req
478. - Mr. Loc dog?
- That's me.
Copy !req
479. - You're next.
- Mister, loc dog?
Copy !req
480. - Hey, what's up, baby? All right!
- Yeah, right. Ha-ha.
Copy !req
481. - You all right?
- Yeah! No.
Copy !req
482. - Energy. Eager man.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
483. Yes, I— I like that.
Right this way.
Copy !req
484. loc dog.
Copy !req
485. Heh. Let me just move this.
Copy !req
486. So, let me see.
Copy !req
487. Very interesting, um—
Copy !req
488. I see your hobbies are drinking,
smoking weed and all types of ill shit.
Copy !req
489. Yeah.
Copy !req
490. - Do you drive an automobile?
- Um, with or without the boot?
Copy !req
491. Doesn't matter.
Well, congratulations.
Copy !req
492. You got yourself a job.
Copy !req
493. Right on?
Copy !req
494. Hey, where the seat belts at?
Copy !req
495. Don't worry.
They won't be necessary.
Copy !req
496. Hey, man, how you
work this radio?
Copy !req
497. Whoo!
Copy !req
498. One more time!
Copy !req
499. Boy! Yeah!
Copy !req
500. Yeah! I told you, you ain't
got no game for me, boy!
Copy !req
501. - What's that?
- My gat, fool.
Copy !req
502. Where you learn
how to use a gun, anyway?
Copy !req
503. Cartoons and hood movies.
Copy !req
504. Doo rag, don't you know that you
and I are an endangered species?
Copy !req
505. - Why, because we're black males?
- No!
Copy !req
506. Because all the rappers
are takin' all the good actin' jobs!
Copy !req
507. Listen, doo rag. Havin' a gun
doesn't give you any power.
Copy !req
508. - You wanna know where
the real power is?
- In the bullets.
Copy !req
509. No! Ln the books.
Copy !req
510. See, doo rag,
Copy !req
511. your mind—
Copy !req
512. It is like a gun!
Copy !req
513. And you gonna load it up...
Copy !req
514. With little, itty-bitty...
Copy !req
515. Bullets of knowledge.
Copy !req
516. Message!
Copy !req
517. Hey. What are you doin'?
Copy !req
518. Writing a poem.
Copy !req
519. See, my poetry, it helps me escape the
harsh realities of livin' in the hood.
Copy !req
520. That's deep.
Copy !req
521. Hey, you wanna read me one?
Copy !req
522. Okay.
Copy !req
523. Let me see.
Copy !req
524. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
525. "Love is by far..."
Copy !req
526. The most precious thing on earth,
Copy !req
527. iike a rose's fragrance...
Copy !req
528. Or a child's birth.
Copy !req
529. Love me...
Copy !req
530. And leave me;
Copy !req
531. that's the story of my life.
Copy !req
532. But it won't happen again, see,
Copy !req
533. since I bought
a butcher's knife.
Copy !req
534. Yeah, see, the next man
who loves me,
Copy !req
535. and leaves me so quick,
Copy !req
536. I'm gon' cut off his balls
and I'm gon' chop off his dick.
Copy !req
537. I'm gon' shoot
that motherfucker.
Copy !req
538. I'm gon' kill him!
I'm gon' stab that motherfucker!
Copy !req
539. Shit! Fuckin' with me?
No!
Copy !req
540. I'm gon' run him over
with my car, see.
Copy !req
541. He fuckin' with the wrong motherfucker.
You don't fuck with me!
Copy !req
542. - "I will kill that motherfucker—"
- baby, baby, baby, baby.
Copy !req
543. - I get the point. It was— that was—
- You liked it?
Copy !req
544. That was good. I mean,
it touched me in a... really...
Copy !req
545. Special place.
Copy !req
546. Look. You wait right here.
Copy !req
547. I sure will.
Copy !req
548. Psst.
Copy !req
549. Dashiki was far
more sexually experienced than I was.
Copy !req
550. She taught me
all about foreplay.
Copy !req
551. Until then, I ain't
never done foreplay before.
Copy !req
552. But then again, who needs foreplay
when you're jackin' off?
Copy !req
553. nuh-fool!
That's the baby's lunch.
Copy !req
554. Wrong hole, fool!
Copy !req
555. My bad.
Copy !req
556. I couldn't believe this
was happening to me.
Copy !req
557. I was losing my virginity
to the woman of my dreams.
Copy !req
558. Talk dirty to me.
Copy !req
559. I'm coming!
Copy !req
560. What did you say?
Copy !req
561. Never mind.
Copy !req
562. I'll tell you when I wake up.
Copy !req
563. Ashtray, wake up!
Copy !req
564. What? What's up, baby?
Copy !req
565. I need to tell you something.
Copy !req
566. What's up?
Copy !req
567. - I'm pregnant.
- Already?
Copy !req
568. - Are you sure?
- I got seven kids. I think
I know what I'm talkin' about!
Copy !req
569. Dashiki, I— I'm not ready
to be no father right now.
Copy !req
570. So you man enough
to come up in me,
Copy !req
571. but you ain't man enough
to take care of what comes out,
get my nails and hair done,
Copy !req
572. pay my rent
and get me a new car?
Copy !req
573. You know what?
You ain't nothin' but a little boy.
Copy !req
574. Ain't all about the size of the boat!
It's the motion in the ocean.
Copy !req
575. That's not
what I'm talkin' about.
Copy !req
576. As a matter of fact, get out!
Copy !req
577. - Get outta my bed!
Get outta my house! Get out!
- Wha— what's— what's up?
Copy !req
578. - And take your shit with you!
- Why you trippin'?
Copy !req
579. I don't wanna see you no more.
I don't wanna talk to you.
Copy !req
580. - How— hey!
- Take your shit!
Copy !req
581. Aw, girl, come on, now.
This— hey, this ain't mine!
Copy !req
582. Get outta my house!
Copy !req
583. Get out!
Copy !req
584. Order up!
Copy !req
585. Yo, loc, man. Dashiki's pregnant.
Copy !req
586. Fool, dashiki was born pregnant.
What else is new?
Copy !req
587. What else is new?
It's mine.
Copy !req
588. - Whoo! Thank you.
- Aw, man. Are you sure?
Copy !req
589. She said I was the only one
she been with in the past 20 minutes.
Copy !req
590. - Damn!
- Yes! Yes!
Copy !req
591. And you believed her?
Copy !req
592. Here you go, sucker—
I mean, brother. Ha.
Copy !req
593. - That'll be $10.38.
- Wash them filthy hands.
Copy !req
594. So what you gon'
do now, tray?
Copy !req
595. I don't know. I'm thinkin' about
movin' outta the hood with her.
Copy !req
596. What? Aw, fool!
Copy !req
597. Look here. Let me tell you
somethin', tray.
Copy !req
598. You could take dashiki
outta the hood,
Copy !req
599. but you can't take
the hood niggers out of dashiki.
Copy !req
600. - Aw, damn! Five-o.
- Man!
Copy !req
601. You there!
Get out of the truck...
Copy !req
602. And put your hands
in the air.
Copy !req
603. Stand on one leg.
Copy !req
604. With the tip of your finger,
touch the tip of your nose.
Copy !req
605. Now in a circular motion,
rub your stomach and pat your head...
Copy !req
606. While saying,
"rubber baby buggy bumpers."
Copy !req
607. Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Copy !req
608. Now walk slowly
toward the car.
Copy !req
609. We didn't even do nothin'.
Copy !req
610. What? You think you're tough?
Copy !req
611. You don't look so tough now,
you little nigger.
Copy !req
612. I hate you black bastards.
You stink!
Copy !req
613. I hate your black skin.
Copy !req
614. I hate your black pants.
Copy !req
615. I hate black pepper!
Copy !req
616. I hate black keys
on the piano!
Copy !req
617. I hate my gums,
'cause they black.
Copy !req
618. I hate whoopi goldberg's lips.
Copy !req
619. I hate the back
of forest Whitaker's neck.
Copy !req
620. Aah! And most of all,
Copy !req
621. I hate that black-ass
Wesley snipes!
Copy !req
622. Move it!
Copy !req
623. - Come on.
- Let's go.
Copy !req
624. - Move it.
- We got arrested...
Copy !req
625. For bein' black
on a Friday night.
Copy !req
626. Don't try me, all right?
Copy !req
627. It was a misdemeanor, so I
thought we'd be out right away.
Copy !req
628. Yeah!
Copy !req
629. Right there, right there!
Copy !req
630. There you go!
Copy !req
631. All right. Get in there.
Copy !req
632. - What's up, youngblood?
- What's up?
Copy !req
633. Swine, my brother?
Copy !req
634. - Nah. No, thanks.
- Let me tell you something.
Copy !req
635. If you hit a man,
Copy !req
636. in time...
His wounds will heal.
Copy !req
637. And if you steal from a man,
Copy !req
638. you can replace
what you steal.
Copy !req
639. And always cross in the green,
never in between.
Copy !req
640. Because the honorable
Elijah muhammad Ali...
Copy !req
641. Floats like a butterfly
and stings like a bee.
Copy !req
642. Just thinkin'
about spending another minute...
Copy !req
643. With farrakhan-vict made me never
want to do time in the joint again.
Copy !req
644. Boy, am I happy
to see you, man.
Copy !req
645. And always remember,
my brother:
Copy !req
646. One fish, two fish,
red fish, blue fish.
Copy !req
647. Nick, nack, paddy-wack,
get a dog a bone.
Copy !req
648. Two thousand,
zero, zero, party—
Copy !req
649. Oops, outta time!
My bacon smellin' fine.
Copy !req
650. - What's up, toothpick?
- What's up?
Copy !req
651. All ready, we gon'
jump this fool in.
Copy !req
652. Let's do this, ai dog.
Copy !req
653. What's up there, little homie?
'Bout ready to do this?
Copy !req
654. - Yeah, man. I'm ready.
- What's up?
Copy !req
655. - What's up?
- You been hangin' with the homies
in the hood for a while now.
Copy !req
656. - It's about time we
jumped your punk ass in.
- That's right.
Copy !req
657. Let me tell you somethin'.
In this world, if you can't swim—
Copy !req
658. - You bound to dr-z-own.
- Yeah. And if you fall,
Copy !req
659. - you better pick your punk ass up!
- That's right.
Copy !req
660. And the rest of y'all,
Copy !req
661. don't cut him no slack!
Copy !req
662. Y'all fools get busy.
Copy !req
663. Let's go.
Work him, dog, work him.
Copy !req
664. We're gonna have to
play monopoly again some time.
Copy !req
665. - All right.
- No.
Copy !req
666. You ain't winning nothin' anyway.
Copy !req
667. - And the money that you do win,
I'll Jack you for it, fool.
- Tie your shoe.
Copy !req
668. Hey! Which one of y'all
is ashtray?
Copy !req
669. - I—
- What's up, partner?
Copy !req
670. Heard you got my boy toothpick's
girlfriend pregnant, partner.
Copy !req
671. - Me?
- Yeah, you.
Copy !req
672. Hey, brother, man.
Copy !req
673. What's up?
Copy !req
674. I don't want any trouble, man.
You know, I'm just taking crazy legs—
Copy !req
675. You must not have
heard me, partner.
Copy !req
676. Tray, let me handle this
like a gentleman, all right?
Copy !req
677. Hey, my man, you know. My man
sayin' he don't want no trouble.
Copy !req
678. You know what I'm sayin'?
Copy !req
679. - But I do! Come here!
- Yeah, loc!
Copy !req
680. - Show that fool!
- Yeah, here!
Get... your... body... down!
Copy !req
681. Partner?
Partner?
Copy !req
682. - Stay right there. We shouldn't—
- Aaah!
Copy !req
683. Yeah, nice execution.
I'm gonna give that an eight.
Copy !req
684. Yeah, yeah!
Make him a cripple like me.
Copy !req
685. - Stomp him!
- LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA.
Copy !req
686. After stompin'
one of toothpick's boys,
Copy !req
687. We knew we had to go get
some backup.
Copy !req
688. - So we went over to
our homie old school's house.
- Hey, loc, man.
Copy !req
689. Are you sure this guy's
gonna have our back?
Copy !req
690. Hey, tray, let me tell you somethin'
about old school, all right?
Copy !req
691. He's the most dangerous
o.G. On the set.
Copy !req
692. Let me tell you
young punks somethin'.
Copy !req
693. I been down in this hood a long time.
I seen a lot of things.
Copy !req
694. I survived the watts riots,
gang wars.
Copy !req
695. You know how I did it?
Copy !req
696. How?
Copy !req
697. By standin' my ground
and havin' my homies watch my back.
Copy !req
698. - Word!
- So don't let nobody mess with your set.
Copy !req
699. - Yeah!
- And like me, don't let
nobody give you no shit.
Copy !req
700. - Yeah, old school.
- Bartholemew?
Copy !req
701. Bartholemew!
Copy !req
702. - Come here, boy.
- Shit.
Copy !req
703. - What did you say, boy?
- I said, "shoot," ma. "Shoot."
Copy !req
704. Didn't I tell you
to clean your room?
Copy !req
705. Ma, come on. The gang needs me.
I'm their leader.
Copy !req
706. Gang?
Copy !req
707. You better get in there and clean
that room in the next ten minutes...
Copy !req
708. Or else you gonna be walking
down the street with three shoes—
Copy !req
709. Two on your feet
and one in your ass, sucker.
Copy !req
710. Thank you, mama.
Copy !req
711. - Yeah. So you gonna roll with us?
- I can't.
Copy !req
712. Why not? The police
is after you?
Copy !req
713. Nah, I'm on punishment.
My mom says I can't leave the porch.
Copy !req
714. - Man!
- Come on. Let's hold the porch down.
Copy !req
715. Say, that's a nice Walker,
lady. Cough it up.
Copy !req
716. Turn around! Give it up!
Copy !req
717. Man, I need to get out
of this place.
Copy !req
718. Fool, what you talking about?
Leave the hood?
Copy !req
719. Fool, this is
home sweet home.
Copy !req
720. I love the smell of gun smoke
in the morning.
Copy !req
721. Yo, preach.
At least ashtray got a dream.
Copy !req
722. That's more than I can say
for half the homies in the hood.
Copy !req
723. - Why, little foots, you got a dream?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
724. I got a dream.
Copy !req
725. aaah!
Copy !req
726. Hey, loc, I hope you ain't sellin'
out on me with no jive-ass dream.
Copy !req
727. Hell, no. You know
I ain't got no self-esteem.
Copy !req
728. I ain't gonna grow up to be shit,
just like you, baby.
Copy !req
729. Where them pussies hiding at?
Copy !req
730. - They're probably over
at that trick's house.
- What trick?
Copy !req
731. Dashiki, fool.
Copy !req
732. - Ooh, I miss makin' love to her.
- Me too.
Copy !req
733. - What you talkin' about?
- I was helpin' you out.
Copy !req
734. - How was you helpin' me?
- You was locked down, fool.
Copy !req
735. Man, just give me the book.
Copy !req
736. Nothin' I can read.
Copy !req
737. Hey, baby.
Copy !req
738. Man, can you hook me up
with directions to crenshaw, man?
Copy !req
739. Fool, you better get
your crusty behind away from me!
Copy !req
740. Man, I'll suck your dick, man.
Copy !req
741. - What you say to me?
- I'll suck your dick, man!
Copy !req
742. Man.
Copy !req
743. All right, so what
you want to do, my man—
Copy !req
744. Go to the corner, go about
three blocks down and make a right.
Copy !req
745. Aaah!
Copy !req
746. - What should we do?
- Run like a bitch, fool!
Copy !req
747. Mama! Mama!
Copy !req
748. No, man, we gon' die!
Copy !req
749. Aaah!
Copy !req
750. Aaah!
Copy !req
751. Let's go!
Copy !req
752. I'm hit. I'm hit!
Copy !req
753. Hey, legs!
Copy !req
754. Legs, you okay, man?
Copy !req
755. You got hit
by the bullets, man?
Copy !req
756. No, I got hit by a car.
Copy !req
757. Come on. Hey, nigger.
Copy !req
758. Let's help him get— let's get him
in the truck. Hey, get his baby shoe.
Copy !req
759. Nigger, I know you're crippled,
but help me out. Come on.
Copy !req
760. - Why?
- Bring your simple ass, tray!
Copy !req
761. My head. My head!
Copy !req
762. J-nug, you all right?
Answer me, man. You all right? J-nug!
Copy !req
763. - Fuck it! Help!
- Sister, sister!
Copy !req
764. - We need a doctor fast!
- You know, I went to see
Jason's lyric this weekend.
Copy !req
765. Ooh, yeah, g money— wasn't he cute?
Did you see his butt? It was hairy.
Copy !req
766. - I know you didn't think
that "ass-fro" was cute.
- We need a doctor right now!
Copy !req
767. - Yeah, I'm gonna have to
call you back, okay?
- Right now, sister!
Copy !req
768. - What I'm gonna need you to do
is fill this form out.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
769. May I have a pen, please? Thank you.
Copy !req
770. Excuse me. Do you know where
I can get some water around here?
Copy !req
771. God!
Copy !req
772. Here.
Copy !req
773. - Thanks.
- You're number 1,012.
Copy !req
774. One thousand, twelve.
One thousand, twelve.
Copy !req
775. Number 213. Now serving number 213.
Copy !req
776. - Damn!
- Damn, I hope I'm next.
Copy !req
777. - Come on.
- We're gonna do it.
Copy !req
778. Between
crazy legs being hit in the drive-by,
Copy !req
779. the Korean store shootings,
jail and dashiki being pregnant,
Copy !req
780. - dashiki, open the door!
- I felt like I was about to explode.
Copy !req
781. Whoo!
Copy !req
782. What are you doing?
Copy !req
783. Trying to win best actor
on the soul train awards.
Copy !req
784. Look, dashiki,
I'm sorry about last night.
Copy !req
785. I thought about it and
I want to be a father to my child.
Copy !req
786. And another thing.
Copy !req
787. I also realized
how much I love you.
Copy !req
788. And I wanna leave the hood
with you.
Copy !req
789. But there's something
we need to do before we go.
Copy !req
790. Look, I'm taking the kids
and I'm moving out of the hood.
Copy !req
791. I just wanted them to come
say good-bye to their daddies.
Copy !req
792. Gimme the man.
Copy !req
793. You're a good brother, tray. Yeah.
Copy !req
794. Me?
Copy !req
795. I've been in jail
a long time, t.
Copy !req
796. Sometimes I feel like
a caged animal.
Copy !req
797. How come you never
came to see me, man?
Copy !req
798. Nigger, I don't know you.
Copy !req
799. Yeah.
Copy !req
800. You don't know me.
That's right. That's right.
Copy !req
801. But dig this here, tray.
Copy !req
802. Teach my son
how to be a man, tray.
Copy !req
803. How to be a man.
Copy !req
804. Gimme some.
Copy !req
805. Jif!
Copy !req
806. Hey, what's up, home? Hey.
Copy !req
807. Hey, man,
you got everything?
Copy !req
808. Cool.
Copy !req
809. - I'm gonna get some, right?
- Nigger, don't even
play me like that.
Copy !req
810. All right. Come on, man.
Copy !req
811. hey, what's up, crazy?
Copy !req
812. Hey, brother!
How you feelin', man?
Copy !req
813. How you doin', brother?
Copy !req
814. Doctor say I ain't
ever gonna walk again.
Copy !req
815. - No, no!
- No!
Copy !req
816. - Homie.
- Homie.
Copy !req
817. - No.
- Fool, get off me!
Copy !req
818. You've been paralyzed
for the last five years.
Copy !req
819. Yeah.
Copy !req
820. Don't worry, legs, man.
Copy !req
821. When I find that toothpick,
I'm gonna smoke him.
Copy !req
822. No! We need to put an end to
all this black-on-black crime.
Copy !req
823. - We need to call a truce.
- What about that time you shot Byron?
Copy !req
824. - Ain't that black-on-black crime?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
825. - No. Byron was light-skinned.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
826. - Hey, you're about
to go to this party?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
827. - And, you're gonna
be doing some drinking?
- A little something.
Copy !req
828. Let me tell you about
drinking and driving, man.
Copy !req
829. Boy, that shit is fun, man. Yo, what
you do is get yourself a 40, right?
Copy !req
830. You get on the freeway—
Bam— punch it to 85.
Copy !req
831. Then you turn off your lights,
let go of the steering wheel.
Copy !req
832. - It will bug you out.
You got to try it, man.
- Man!
Copy !req
833. - I'm gonna try it.
- Hey, why didn't y'all
invite me to the party?
Copy !req
834. - Come on, pop. You know
you gotta be 18 and older.
- Man.
Copy !req
835. Besides, it's getting past your bedtime.
You brush your teeth?
Copy !req
836. - Yeah.
- Let me see.
Copy !req
837. No. There we go.
Copy !req
838. - All right, I'm out.
- All right. Hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
839. Before you go, why don't you
read me, like, a bedtime story,
like the good old days?
Copy !req
840. - All right. Just one.
- That's all I need.
Copy !req
841. All right.
Copy !req
842. Flip to a good one.
Here we go.
Copy !req
843. "This is the story
of dick and Mary."
Copy !req
844. Mary lies on the bed
and spreads her thighs.
Copy !req
845. Dick thrusts his large member
into her waiting vagina.
Copy !req
846. 'Fuck me, fuck me, ' Mary screams.
Copy !req
847. Dick covers her head with a pillow
'cause she's too noisy.
Copy !req
848. - Yeah.
- Dick continues to pound
her swollen opening...
Copy !req
849. 'Til he climates.
Copy !req
850. 'I'm coming! I'm coming!
Copy !req
851. Yeah.- '
Copy !req
852. "and he falls asleep."
Copy !req
853. Good night, pops.
Copy !req
854. Domino, nigger! Yeah!
Copy !req
855. Hey, what's up,
what's up, niggers? Hey!
Copy !req
856. What's up, baby? Hey, what
you making, some jiffy pop?
Copy !req
857. - What's up, bro?
- What's up, baby?
How you doin'? All right.
Copy !req
858. - What's up, nigger?
Black-on-black crime!
- What's going on?
Copy !req
859. What's up, man?
Copy !req
860. I got one question.
Who's got that chronic, nigger?
Copy !req
861. - Come on, nigger.
- Who got that chronic?
Copy !req
862. I got that ill killer shit.
Guaranteed to fuck you up.
Copy !req
863. Hey, nigger, light
that shit up. Fuck me up.
Copy !req
864. Hey. Hey.
Copy !req
865. Ooh!
Copy !req
866. - Toke! Toke! Nigger, toke!
- Whoo!
Copy !req
867. Look at that shit! ha!
Copy !req
868. Hey, man, he's going
into convulsions!
Copy !req
869. - Man, he ain't breathin'.
- He's foamin' at the mouth, man.
Copy !req
870. Yo, he dead.
Copy !req
871. Yo, pass that shit!
Copy !req
872. Yo, pass that. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
873. Hit it!
Copy !req
874. Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it!
Copy !req
875. See, now, that's what
I'm talking about, shabomboo.
Copy !req
876. - So good, so good.
- Yeah, nigga's trying to
hide the good shit.
Copy !req
877. Ha-ha!
Copy !req
878. Baby, you wanna dance?
Copy !req
879. Yes, I do, but not with you.
Copy !req
880. hey, girl, how you doin'?
My name is loc dog.
Copy !req
881. - What's your name?
- LA quanda.
Copy !req
882. Whoo!
Copy !req
883. LA quanda, do you have a boyfriend?
Copy !req
884. No. You know, men always seem
to be really intimidated by me.
Copy !req
885. But I don't know why.
Copy !req
886. You know?
Copy !req
887. Well, you know—
Copy !req
888. I can understand how a pretty girl like
yourself might make a man a little sick.
Copy !req
889. I mean nervous.
Copy !req
890. Yeah, well, it takes a really
special kind of man to be with me.
Copy !req
891. Ooh.
Copy !req
892. - You know?
- Yeah, well, let me go find him.
Copy !req
893. Damn, girl, you need to
slow down with that.
Copy !req
894. You ain't my daddy,
and you ain't payin' any of my bills.
Copy !req
895. Ooh! That my song.
Copy !req
896. Hi.
Copy !req
897. My name is loc dog.
What's your name?
Copy !req
898. - Keisha.
- Keisha?
Copy !req
899. You always this shy, keisha?
Copy !req
900. Look here, keisha, why don't we go back
to my place and have a little nightcap.
Copy !req
901. I don't know.
Copy !req
902. I just met you.
Copy !req
903. Hey, girl, the dog don't bite
unless you ask him.
Copy !req
904. - Okay.
- All right. Come on.
Copy !req
905. I guess it'll be all right.
Copy !req
906. Baby, you really love me.
Copy !req
907. You know I do, girl.
Copy !req
908. Gu-go-go-go-go-go.
Copy !req
909. I really shouldn't.
Copy !req
910. Come on, girl.
Ain't gonna hurt you.
Copy !req
911. It's just that when I drink,
sometimes I get a little crazy.
Copy !req
912. And that's what I want.
Copy !req
913. See, I don't want you to think
I'm a freak or nothin' like that,
Copy !req
914. because I usually don't even go home
with guys when I first meet 'em.
Copy !req
915. But I just feel
so comfortable with you.
Copy !req
916. Hey, and that's good, girl.
Copy !req
917. Whenever you're with me,
Copy !req
918. I want you to just relax
and be yourself.
Copy !req
919. You are so nasty.
Copy !req
920. - I should be going.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, baby.
Copy !req
921. Relax. Okay? Just relax.
Copy !req
922. Don't you go nowhere.
Copy !req
923. You're in good hands now, girl. Loc
dog's gonna take good care of you, baby.
Copy !req
924. You sure... it's okay?
Copy !req
925. I want you to just
be yourself, okay?
Copy !req
926. I told you I could
get a little crazy.
Copy !req
927. Yeah, you get crazy. Come on.
Copy !req
928. Okay.
Copy !req
929. All right,
motherfucker, let's get it on.
Copy !req
930. No, nigger,
you ain't going nowhere.
Copy !req
931. Fresh air, fresh fish.
Copy !req
932. - Nothin' like the great
outdoors, pop?
- No.
Copy !req
933. Pop, can we talk,
teenager to teenager?
Copy !req
934. See, I met this girl.
She's pretty special.
Copy !req
935. She's moving out of the hood
in a couple of days, and I'm
thinking about going with her.
Copy !req
936. Man, who is this girl?
Copy !req
937. - Her name's dashiki.
- Dashiki from over there
on penetration Avenue?
Copy !req
938. Come on, pop! Don't tell me
you slept with her too.
Copy !req
939. No, no. It ain't
nothin' like that, son.
Copy !req
940. - She sure could suck a dick, though.
- What?
Copy !req
941. Nothing, son. Go ahead.
Tell me about this girl.
Copy !req
942. Anyway, I think I'm in love.
Copy !req
943. So, what?
You knockin' boobs yet?
Copy !req
944. - Yeah.
- Hold on.
Copy !req
945. You use a condom?
Copy !req
946. No.
Copy !req
947. Good! That's my boy!
That's my boy!
Copy !req
948. Yo, never use condoms, son.
They take away all the feelin'.
Copy !req
949. Yeah. Only thing is,
now she's pregnant.
Copy !req
950. - I don't know what to do.
- Man, look.
Copy !req
951. Let me give you the same advice
my father gave me, all right?
Copy !req
952. Give up hope. Look at me.
Dreams are for suckers.
Copy !req
953. Ain't no future for you.
Copy !req
954. And don't think about
gettin' no job, tray,
Copy !req
955. 'cause a black man ain't got no place
in the work force.
Copy !req
956. So let me get this straight.
Copy !req
957. What you trying to say is, don't get
caught up in the white man's system...
Copy !req
958. Of self-perpetuating
unemployment...
Copy !req
959. And wind up trying to survive on
welfare checks and food stamps, right?
Copy !req
960. Wrong, man! Hell, ain't nothing wrong
with no welfare check.
Copy !req
961. That's called free money. Hell, our
family survived six generations on it.
Copy !req
962. Thanks, pop.
Copy !req
963. - You always know what to say, man.
- I thought you knew, boy.
Copy !req
964. My boy tray.
Gettin' himself some sex.
Copy !req
965. Yeah.
Copy !req
966. - See, man, right over here.
- Gettin' locked up
in the city ain't the same.
Copy !req
967. Get the map!
Copy !req
968. Fuck it. Let's go twist
these niggers in a cat bag, man.
Copy !req
969. Can't you read, man?
It's over here.
Copy !req
970. Read this. Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
971. - Drive!
- Let's go.
Copy !req
972. - What's up, loc?
- What's up, tray?
Copy !req
973. Can't believe your mark-ass
is finally leavin' the hood.
Copy !req
974. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me and dashiki's gonna tie that knot.
Copy !req
975. - You need to tie a knot
in that bitch's tubes.
- Naw.
Copy !req
976. - Really.
- I actually think we're
gonna be all right.
Copy !req
977. - Hey, why don't you come with us?
- What?
Copy !req
978. Take a road trip
in a mail truck?
Copy !req
979. Fool, that's the stupidest
idea I ever heard.
Copy !req
980. Well, anyway...
You just be careful.
Copy !req
981. Come on now, baby.
You're talkin' to loc dog. Ha-ha!
Copy !req
982. You know I'm gonna be all right.
Copy !req
983. Shoot.
Copy !req
984. Hey, tray.
Copy !req
985. Never forget, man.
Copy !req
986. Either they don't know...
Copy !req
987. Or don't show
or just don't care...
Copy !req
988. About bein' a menace
to South central while
they drink their juice in the hood.
Copy !req
989. That's what it's all about, tray.
That's what it's all about.
Copy !req
990. What the fuck
is he talkin' about?
Copy !req
991. - Hey, what's up, little homie?
- What's up?
Copy !req
992. How you doin', man?
Hey, you want some of this?
Make you grow hair on your nuts.
Copy !req
993. Say, man, don't be giving
that little kid no alcohol.
Copy !req
994. - You ain't his daddy.
- I ain't? Hold up.
Copy !req
995. Dashiki! Bitch, you better give me
back my child support money!
Copy !req
996. Yeah.
Copy !req
997. - Hey, what's up, little man?
- Shh.
Copy !req
998. Like I was saying, what's up
with them "hos" tonight?
Copy !req
999. Take care of my baby, all right?
And my truck.
Copy !req
1000. - What?
- Come on, tray. You know
I'm only playing with you.
Copy !req
1001. Just shoot everything
in sight. Everything!
Copy !req
1002. - Hey! Hey!
- Hey, break yourself!
Copy !req
1003. Somebody, help me!
Copy !req
1004. Dashiki! I'll call you later.
Copy !req
1005. Page me!
Copy !req
1006. Aaah!
Copy !req
1007. I'm coming!
Copy !req
1008. Is you okay, snowflake?
Copy !req
1009. Yes, my big
chocolate warrior.
Copy !req
1010. Doo rag, take care of your mama!
Copy !req
1011. Aah!
Copy !req
1012. Break yourself!
Copy !req
1013. Aaagh! Take that, motherfucker!
Copy !req
1014. Aaagh!
Copy !req
1015. Take that, motherfucker!
Copy !req
1016. Hey, man, watch out! Aaaah!
Copy !req
1017. Hey. You know
you fucked up, right?
Copy !req
1018. - Yeah, you fucked up.
- Hear what I'm saying?
Copy !req
1019. Hey, grandma,
you got the juice now.
Copy !req
1020. Go to hell.
Copy !req
1021. Damn.
Copy !req
1022. Tray, I'll marry you.
I promise. Just wake up.
Copy !req
1023. I know, sister. I know.
Copy !req
1024. - You're gonna miss him, aren't you?
- You damn right!
Copy !req
1025. Where else am I gonna find
a pussy-whipped fool to take care
of me and seven kids?
Copy !req
1026. Ashtray!
Copy !req
1027. Listen, sister, listen!
Copy !req
1028. You are a strong
African-American woman.
Copy !req
1029. And it's because of that
I can't be with you.
Copy !req
1030. Looky there. Time for me to
take out the poor white trash.
Copy !req
1031. Ashtray!
Copy !req
1032. Who you calling whipped, girl?
Copy !req
1033. You're alive!
Copy !req
1034. Lord, why you do this to me?
Christ, I can't take it!
Copy !req
1035. I can't take it!
I can't take it!
Copy !req
1036. My God!
My baby!
Copy !req
1037. Mama.
Copy !req
1038. Mama. I swallowed
my toothpick, mama.
Copy !req
1039. Baby, you're okay!
Copy !req
1040. Now, where's my money you stole,
you little hoodlum?
Copy !req
1041. Give me my money.
I want my money.
Copy !req
1042. - I'll beat the shit out of you!
- Okay, okay!
Copy !req
1043. Where's my money?
Copy !req
1044. Well, that's my story.
Copy !req
1045. As for dashiki and I,
we got married.
Copy !req
1046. Loc dog went
into show business.
Copy !req
1047. Fuck y'all,
suck my dick, and... iick ass!
Copy !req
1048. Preach, he settled down.
Copy !req
1049. Crazy legs' dream of becoming
a dancer finally came true.
Copy !req
1050. And as for grandma,
well, she's still grandma.
Copy !req
1051. Damn! This is some good shit!
Copy !req