1. What up, y'all?Copy !req
2. Yo. I'm fixin' to tell you
how it is in the hood.Copy !req
3. See, 'cause in the hood,
everybody's a target.Copy !req
4. No, it ain't like that.Copy !req
5. I'm goin' tell you the real deal
what it goes on in the hood.Copy !req
6. See, in the hood, most of us
won't reach the age of 21.Copy !req
7. Happy birthday, homie.Copy !req
8. - For me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
9. Happy birthday, homeboy.Copy !req
10. - For me?
- Yeah. Make a wish.Copy !req
11. Agh!Copy !req
12. No, lord! No, lord! Not my baby!
I know you didn't do me wrong, lord!Copy !req
13. No! He done--
No! My Junior!Copy !req
14. I nursed him with these!
Lord, why?Copy !req
15. - Not my baby!
- Yo. Yo!Copy !req
16. Yo, yo! This ain't your baby.
This ain't your baby.Copy !req
17. Ain't that some shit.Copy !req
18. I'm outta here.Copy !req
19. I'm gonna tell you what
it's really like livin' in the hood.Copy !req
20. I moved back into my father's house after
livin' with my moms for most of my life.Copy !req
21. Tray, I don't want you
hangin' out in the streets.Copy !req
22. I want you to finish school,Copy !req
23. 'cause without an education the only
work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs,Copy !req
24. pimpin' women, or workin'
security for Eddie Murphy.Copy !req
25. Now, I've done all I can.Copy !req
26. I got my education;
I worked two jobs to support you.Copy !req
27. But I can't teach you
how to be a man.Copy !req
28. Only your father
can do that.Copy !req
29. Now gimme a kiss
and be a good boy.Copy !req
30. - I love you, Tray.
- Love you too, mom.Copy !req
31. So, will I see you again?Copy !req
32. Sorry, baby.Copy !req
33. You know there ain't no positive
black females in these movies.Copy !req
34. Sorry.Copy !req
35. My father tried
his best to give me advice.Copy !req
36. The problem was, he was only
a couple of years older than me.Copy !req
37. Fool, I told you I don't
want no damn Watchtower!Copy !req
38. Hey, what's up, nigga?Copy !req
39. - What's up, pops?
- How you doin', man?Copy !req
40. - How you doin', man?
- How's it goin'?Copy !req
41. - Man!
- Look at you. It's goin' be on!Copy !req
42. Look at you, man!Copy !req
43. - Look, you got big, man!
- Oh, you know.Copy !req
44. Last time I seen you,
you was about this tall.Copy !req
45. They wouldn't even let you on
the rides at the amusement park.Copy !req
46. Had to take you to kiddie land.Copy !req
47. - Remember that?
- Yeah, but it's all good.Copy !req
48. I was just about to eat
breakfast. You hungry?Copy !req
49. No, I'm full, man.
I had some red hots.Copy !req
50. Is that right?
Cool. Hey, man, come on in.Copy !req
51. Please allow me.
You're the guest in my house, man.Copy !req
52. Make yourself at home.
Hey, are those your Bo's?Copy !req
53. - Yeah.
- Hey, I'm gonna be sportin' them, man.Copy !req
54. It's good to have you
up in it too.Copy !req
55. I'm gonna finish gettin' my
swollen on right.Copy !req
56. - Have a seat.
- All right. Cool.Copy !req
57. Hey! Make sure your
ass is on that plastic.Copy !req
58. Look, Tray.
So we're not bumpin' heads.Copy !req
59. Man, if you gon' be stayin' here,
you gon' have to follow some rules.Copy !req
60. No smokin' my shit.
Don't let me catch you drinkin' my shit.Copy !req
61. And if you bring any of them ho's up
in here, make sure I fuck 'em first.Copy !req
62. And...you gon'
have some chores.Copy !req
63. - Chores?
- That's right. Chores.Copy !req
64. Nigga, this ain't gon'
be no free ride!Copy !req
65. You gon' have to
keep track of my Matchbox cars.Copy !req
66. You got to organize the damn
Sega Genesis cartridges.Copy !req
67. I want you to do my homework,
since you want to be such a smart ass.Copy !req
68. After that, in the nighttime,
I want you to cut the hair on my balls.Copy !req
69. - Hey, hold up. Can I ask you a question, pop?
- Yeah.Copy !req
70. What you gon' be doin'?Copy !req
71. Hey! Look, nigga, I ain't got
to do nothin'. My mama take care of me.Copy !req
72. I know you think I'm bein' hard on you.Copy !req
73. What the hell. I guess I'm tryin'
to teach you some responsibility.Copy !req
74. - You right, pop.
- No shit.Copy !req
75. Hey, could you do me a favor?
Could you line me up in the back?Copy !req
76. Nigga, that's gon' run you
about $13.Copy !req
77. Thirteen dollars?Copy !req
78. Come on, man. The Spanish dude
down the block only charges six.Copy !req
79. Well, take your ass to him
and let him fuck your head up.Copy !req
80. Nah, I'll let you cut me up.Copy !req
81. Hey, Tray, let me
ask you a question, man.Copy !req
82. - What's up?
- You still a virgin?Copy !req
83. Of course.Copy !req
84. Well, there was this one dude who
rubbed up against my butt one time,Copy !req
85. but I ain't like it.Copy !req
86. Hey, man, I'm talkin'
about girls, man!Copy !req
87. Girls? C'mon, pops.
Now, you know I be gettin' mine.Copy !req
88. - I mean, you gettin' it, or you gettin' it?
- I'm gettin' it.Copy !req
89. I didn't tell you about
that little honey dip?Copy !req
90. What honey?Copy !req
91. Pop, I met the finest
little brown-skinned cutieCopy !req
92. down at the corner market, man.Copy !req
93. She had big breasts
and big legs. Ass was-- pow!Copy !req
94. - Ghetto Booty! Yes.
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
95. So, you know, I knew she liked me,
'cause we locked eyes.Copy !req
96. So I started to get into
my mack daddy Denzel mode.Copy !req
97. You know? Yeah. So I start fixin' my
eyebrows, make sure they was straight.Copy !req
98. Fix my hair, make sure
it was slick and greasy.Copy !req
99. - Makin' sure my breath wasn't stinkin'.
- Hey, get to the damn fuckin' part!Copy !req
100. Oh, okay.
So anyway...Copy !req
101. I went over to her house
one Sunday mornin'.Copy !req
102. Her moms had
just gone to church.Copy !req
103. And we had the place
all to ourself.Copy !req
104. So you know, we got to kissin',
lickin', slobbin'.Copy !req
105. You know, doin' the wild thing.Copy !req
106. When we got up there,
it was like heaven.Copy !req
107. Better than
my wildest fantasies.Copy !req
108. Well, apparently, her moms must have
forgot her purse or somethin',Copy !req
109. 'Cause she came back home.Copy !req
110. I guess she could smell sex in the air.Copy !req
111. I got a surprise for you.Copy !req
112. - And that's when things really got freaky.
- Come on.Copy !req
113. - Before I knew it the door burst open...
- Huh?Copy !req
114. And there was her mama!Copy !req
115. Hold him down, baby.
Let mama have him.Copy !req
116. I grabbed my things and got out
of there the best way I could.Copy !req
117. Yeah. I sure do hope
you got her number.Copy !req
118. - The girl?
- Hell, no. Her mama. She the freak.Copy !req
119. Hey, hey. Pops, don't go up
too high in the back.Copy !req
120. Man, don't worry about this.
We all done.Copy !req
121. There we go.Copy !req
122. - Yeah.
- I got something for youCopy !req
123. to make the girls think
you're smelling good.Copy !req
124. - Aaah!
- All hooked up, partner. Gimme my $13.Copy !req
125. All right, give it up!
It's a Jack move, fool.Copy !req
126. J-j-just don't shoot.Copy !req
127. Hey, come back here with my truck!Copy !req
128. Will you-- come here!
Son, gimme that truck back!Copy !req
129. Man, you got
any spare change?Copy !req
130. Sorry, bro.
I'm all out, man.Copy !req
131. Man, I got these
cheeseburgers, man.Copy !req
132. I don't want any cheeseburgers.Copy !req
133. Please, man?
I'll suck your dick.Copy !req
134. Eww. Get outta here, man!
Get outta here!Copy !req
135. It hurt me to wake up and see
my beautiful black people suffer,Copy !req
136. victimized by the oppressive,
harsh realities of the hood.Copy !req
137. I guess, even though we were free,
we were still slaves...Copy !req
138. In the mind.Copy !req
139. Message.Copy !req
140. Luckily, I wasn't alone
here in the hood.Copy !req
141. See, my cousin Loc Dog
lived right across the street.Copy !req
142. Loc Dog was America's
worst nightmare.Copy !req
143. Raised in a house with three generations
of hopelessness, poverty, and profanity.Copy !req
144. Loc Dog, turn that loud-ass
motherfuckin' music down!Copy !req
145. You wakin' up the fuckin'
babies, motherfucker!Copy !req
146. This still my motherfuckin' house, motherfucker!Copy !req
147. Who the fuck is that
on my porch?Copy !req
148. - Hey, Mrs. Dog.
- Hey, Ashtray.Copy !req
149. - You come to stay with your daddy for good?
- Yeah.Copy !req
150. Come on in.Copy !req
151. You tell your pretty-ass,
motherfuckin' daddy I said hello?Copy !req
152. Yeah.Copy !req
153. Baby, do me a favor and
pass me that shit over there.Copy !req
154. Hey!Copy !req
155. - Care for a little soup?
- No, thanks. I'm cool.Copy !req
156. - Is Loc Dog here?
- Yeah, that lazy-ass motherfucker is in the back,Copy !req
157. doin' nothin', as usual.Copy !req
158. - Okay. Well, I'll see you later.
- All right, babe.Copy !req
159. Hey, grandma.Copy !req
160. Ashtray! You little
bitch-ass motherfucker!Copy !req
161. Come over here
and give your grandma a hug.Copy !req
162. That's my nigga.Copy !req
163. You been wearin' them Jimmy
hats like grandma gave you?Copy !req
164. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
165. - How are you?
- My old stinky ass is fine,Copy !req
166. 'cept for my arthritis
in my trigger finger.Copy !req
167. - But I can still stick and move.
- I bet you can.Copy !req
168. That beatin' the police give me
didn't slow me down a bit.Copy !req
169. C'mon, motherfucker.
Gimme your best shot.Copy !req
170. C'mon, grandma.
I don't wanna do nothin' like that.Copy !req
171. - Aw, c'mon.
- Come on, grandma.Copy !req
172. I don't wanna do that.
Stop. Come on.Copy !req
173. Ooh.Copy !req
174. Damn, them fake teeth
are hard.Copy !req
175. Bye-bye.Copy !req
176. You still hit like a bitch,
motherfucker.Copy !req
177. Loc Dog was gonna teach me
to survive in the hood,Copy !req
178. even if it killed me.Copy !req
179. Tray, is that you?Copy !req
180. Hey, you better start
announcin' yourselfCopy !req
181. Before you get smoked
up in here, nigga. Damn!Copy !req
182. You know that chronic
make me paranoid, baby.Copy !req
183. Come here, you old fool-dog,
mark-ass trick. Gimme some love.Copy !req
184. - What's up, cuz?
- All right. That's enough of that love.Copy !req
185. I don't play that sentimental shit.
Come on. Come in.Copy !req
186. Quick fashion question.Copy !req
187. Should I wear this TEC-9
with the High-Tops?Copy !req
188. Or should I wear this Uzi
with my Low-Tops?Copy !req
189. I'll just wear these then.Copy !req
190. Hey, Tray, scoot over.Copy !req
191. Rumor has it your bitch ass
is in town for good, nigga.Copy !req
192. Yeah, man. Moms is beepin'.
She says time for me to become a man.Copy !req
193. Nigga, my mom said the same shit!Copy !req
194. - Sweatin' me, nigga!
- Word?Copy !req
195. Yeah, man. Hey. I don't care though.
You know, I told her,Copy !req
196. I don't wanna be on welfare my
whole life; You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
197. For real, nigga. I got bigger and
better plans. You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
198. Figure I'll get me a job at the
post office. You know, maybe at a bank.Copy !req
199. - That's all good, man.
- Work real hard.Copy !req
200. Work my way up to manager.Copy !req
201. - We need more black people like this, man.
- Know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
202. Learn the system a little bit,
then I'll rob that motherfucker blind.Copy !req
203. Break all yourselves.Copy !req
204. Hey, Loc, man. Whatever happened
to your pops anyway?Copy !req
205. That old mark-ass nigga ran out
on us like a little biz-nitch.Copy !req
206. You know, it's--Copy !req
207. You know, it's kinda tough--Copy !req
208. Growin' up in the hood
without a--Copy !req
209. Without a positive male role model
to look up to.Copy !req
210. Message.Copy !req
211. Aw, nigga, come on.Copy !req
212. Let's go get Preach and Crazy Legs
and go to this picnic real quick.Copy !req
213. Come on.Copy !req
214. Damn!Copy !req
215. This is... some good shit.Copy !req
216. You have your black ass
back here by Friday,Copy !req
217. 'cause the social worker's
comin' on over here,Copy !req
218. and I'm still claimin' your ass.Copy !req
219. Quit sweatin' me. Shoot.Copy !req
220. And grandma, you better stay out
my lndo, 'fore I smoke your ass!Copy !req
221. Aw, go fuck yourself, nigga.Copy !req
222. Our friend Preach was a former
gang member turned activist.Copy !req
223. But now, he's just plain confused.Copy !req
224. - Preach. What up, nigga?
- Y'all need to stop usin' the word "nigga".Copy !req
225. You see, it's terms like the word "nigga"
that the white man usesCopy !req
226. to take away the self-esteem
of another race!Copy !req
227. - Word.
- Oh, yeah. Remind me to pick my laundry upCopy !req
228. from that chink motherfucker
up the street.Copy !req
229. Crazy Legs used to be
the best dancer in the hood.Copy !req
230. But now he's paralyzed from
the waist down after a drive-by.Copy !req
231. What's up, Crazy?Copy !req
232. Hey, what's up, y'all? I be right
there, all right? Haha, yeah!Copy !req
233. Whoo!Copy !req
234. Yeah, that's the way to start the day.
How you doin'?Copy !req
235. - Hey, wassup.
- What's up, Loc?Copy !req
236. - How's my little partner?
- Hello, little pygmy brother.Copy !req
237. - All right, African brother.
- Hey, hold that.Copy !req
238. Loc Dog didn't
have the flyest ride in the hood,Copy !req
239. but it was reliable
in rain, sleet or snow.Copy !req
240. Hey, you guys.
Y'all want to see a dead body?Copy !req
241. - Yeah! Of course.
- Come on.Copy !req
242. I told you he was dead.Copy !req
243. Man, he stinks!Copy !req
244. Come on, baby!Copy !req
245. Wassup, babyboy!Copy !req
246. Hey, where you goin', girl?Copy !req
247. Damn! Hey, Tray, if you can't
get nothin' up in here,Copy !req
248. - you gonna straight die a virgin.
- Shit, man.Copy !req
249. Hey, y'all. Look at them
freaks gettin' busy on the dance floor.Copy !req
250. there's all kinds
of bitches up in here!Copy !req
251. Hey! What did I tell you about disrespectin'
my nubian princesses?Copy !req
252. - Aw, come on!
- Quit disrespect-- you need--Copy !req
253. Oh, my God. The mother of mecca
is right here before me.Copy !req
254. Do my eyes not deceive me...Copy !req
255. Or am I lookin'
at the goddess lsis herself?Copy !req
256. Can you--
Can you do me a favor,Copy !req
257. my brown-skinned angel?Copy !req
258. Can you tap that white girl for me?Copy !req
259. My milk of magnesia.Copy !req
260. Oh, after the devil made you
he broke the mold.Copy !req
261. But maybe you and I could, uh,
make a little jungle fever?Copy !req
262. Hey, this one to all my dead homies,
you know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
263. I remember the first time I saw Dashiki.Copy !req
264. She was fine enough
to be jet beauty of the week.Copy !req
265. - Yo, yo, Loc, come here.
- Hey, what's up?Copy !req
266. - What's up, nigga?
- Yo, man. Who's this fine girl over here?Copy !req
267. Nigga, that's Dashiki.Copy !req
268. Stay away from there. Everybody
in the hood's been up with her.Copy !req
269. Shoot. She got more kids
than Mrs. Wayans.Copy !req
270. - Damn!
- Yeah.Copy !req
271. Anyway, that's toothpick's ex-girl. You
don't want any of that boy's old scraps.Copy !req
272. - Toothpick got used to bein' in jail.
- Damn!Copy !req
273. So much so that even on the outside, he
lived like he was still on the inside.Copy !req
274. Gimme a knife, boy.
Keep it down. Keep it down.Copy !req
275. Bone check, homey.
Bone check!Copy !req
276. Five dollars a head!
Five dollars.Copy !req
277. - I got top!
- Go fish!Copy !req
278. - What they in for, man?
- Five dollars, Buster!Copy !req
279. I got that.
I can cover that.Copy !req
280. Here. Here you go.Copy !req
281. What?Copy !req
282. My money ain't good?Copy !req
283. Do you know how many
crumb cakes I can get for that?Copy !req
284. How many chocolate milks?
How many bars of soap?Copy !req
285. Deal my cards! Just hurry up and
deal my cards. Deal, deal, deal!Copy !req
286. - All right, nigga! One up, two.
- Shit.Copy !req
287. Hello.Copy !req
288. - She wants me.
- Why you keep wastin' your time with that trick?Copy !req
289. Tellin' you, you need yourself
somethin' with some class.Copy !req
290. Someone you can take home to stepmama.
You know what I'm tryin' to say?Copy !req
291. Get yourself a real woman.Copy !req
292. A real woman.Copy !req
293. Hey, Tray, you see
that bitch over there?Copy !req
294. - I see her.
- Now, that's a lady.Copy !req
295. I bet you I can
get her number.Copy !req
296. - nigga, you ain't gettin' nobody's number.
- Fool, watch me.Copy !req
297. Hey, sweetheart.Copy !req
298. Break yourself! Gimme your
goddamn number. Come on! Hurry up!Copy !req
299. Cool, cool, cool. So, um, I'm gonna
give you a call about 5:00, all right?Copy !req
300. - I said all right?
- Y-y-yeah, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
301. All right, sweetheart.
Take care of yourself, all right?Copy !req
302. I told you
I'd get her number.Copy !req
303. Hey, beautiful.Copy !req
304. - Please!
- Hey, mister.Copy !req
305. What's up, little man?Copy !req
306. Aw, you're just tryin'
to get some from my mama.Copy !req
307. Ho! Snap. No, little man.
Actually, what I'm tryin'--Copy !req
308. Gimme a dollar,
and I'll leave you alone.Copy !req
309. Cute little kid.
By the way, my name is Ashtray.Copy !req
310. My name is Dashiki.
That's Swahili for "doggie-style."Copy !req
311. - Ooh, that's pretty.
- Those are my kids.Copy !req
312. Hello, everybody.Copy !req
313. Now, children. What do you say
when you meet a nice man?Copy !req
314. Are you my daddy?Copy !req
315. Ooh. All I know is I'd
really like to take you out.Copy !req
316. Oh, you and your seven kids.Copy !req
317. That sounds nice, but I'm leavin'
the hood in a couple of days.Copy !req
318. Really? Man, I can't wait for the day
I can move out of the hood.Copy !req
319. Well, look, I know I just met you,
but you're welcome to come along.Copy !req
320. I mean, I need somebody
to help me change all them diapers.Copy !req
321. Is that it? Diapers?Copy !req
322. I used to change my father's
diapers all the time. Ain't no thing.Copy !req
323. Listen.Copy !req
324. You think about it, okay?Copy !req
325. And if you're serious,
let me know.Copy !req
326. Hey, man, ain't that Dashiki
over there kissin' that fool, man?Copy !req
327. Man? Right there!Copy !req
328. - Yeah.
- Damn!Copy !req
329. I'se gon' shank that fool
right now!Copy !req
330. Pick, you trippin', man. Damn.Copy !req
331. Nigga, that's old news!
Think about it, nigga.Copy !req
332. You been in jail
five years now.Copy !req
333. Man, it's only been 1,825 days,
six hours and 13 minutes!Copy !req
334. She could've waited!Copy !req
335. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm just sayin'
why go back to jail. You know?Copy !req
336. I ain't worried about jail!
What the fuck-- you sound like a bitch.Copy !req
337. - Bitch!
- Man, I ain't worried about jail!Copy !req
338. Shit, I-- I don't give a damn
about goin' to jail.Copy !req
339. - You can take me to jail!
- Take me to jail!Copy !req
340. - Shit, lock me up!
- Lock me up!Copy !req
341. - Throw away the key!
- Throw away the key!Copy !req
342. I ain't afraid to fuck
somebody in his ass!Copy !req
343. I ain't afraid--
Whoa! Dawg, what the?Copy !req
344. - This fool is trippin'.
- I'm outta here.Copy !req
345. You on your own there, bro.Copy !req
346. Yeah, y'all. Come on, man.Copy !req
347. Y'all ain't never been
in a shower with a man?Copy !req
348. And, uh, you see the suds
crawl down the crack of his ass...Copy !req
349. And you just...Copy !req
350. Be, uh, tou--Copy !req
351. I was foolin' y'all, man!Copy !req
352. I was foolin' y'all!
Those was jokes!Copy !req
353. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
354. Hey, man, fuck this. I'm goin'.Copy !req
355. I don't usually be kissin'
like that when I first meet someone.Copy !req
356. But you special.
Uhh...Copy !req
357. - Cigarette?
- Ashtray.Copy !req
358. Yeah. Ashtray.Copy !req
359. Come on, kids.Copy !req
360. Hey, stupid.Copy !req
361. You realize you just kissed
every nigga in the party?Copy !req
362. Now come on. I gotta go to the store
and get some more forties.Copy !req
363. Okay. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
364. Whoo! Now, that there
is somethin' special.Copy !req
365. How come you talk all that
noise about white men,Copy !req
366. and then go date white women, fool?Copy !req
367. No. You see, I'm just
tryin' to do to white girls...Copy !req
368. What the white man's been doin'
to us for 400 years!Copy !req
369. Yeah? What's that?Copy !req
370. Fuck 'em.
Amy Jo!Copy !req
371. You cold. He cold.Copy !req
372. Yeah, yeah.
Forties and nines.Copy !req
373. That's
my favorite store.Copy !req
374. Hey. I'm gonna go in here
and get me a malt liquor slurpee.Copy !req
375. Run across the street
and get me some barbecue potato chips.Copy !req
376. - Ooh.
- Can I keep the change?Copy !req
377. Hell, no, fool.
That's a ten-dollar food stamp.Copy !req
378. Better bring me back
my change.Copy !req
379. - Cheapskate.
- Stupid.Copy !req
380. What's up now,
you pretty punk trick?Copy !req
381. Hey! What's up? We got a problem, Toothpick?Copy !req
382. I said,
do we have a problem?Copy !req
383. We got a problem for ya.Copy !req
384. Right here. This a problem.
Right there. Right there.Copy !req
385. All right. We'll play a little game.Copy !req
386. Right here.Copy !req
387. I said do... we...Copy !req
388. Have... a... problem? Huh?Copy !req
389. "U.S.S.R."Copy !req
390. You better get your stinky
asses up outta hereCopy !req
391. before I cause a nuclear holocaust
up in here, fool.Copy !req
392. Well, let's go!
Fool, come on!Copy !req
393. It'll be Hiroshima
and Nigga-saki.Copy !req
394. Fool, let's go! Let's go!Copy !req
395. That's right, boy!
You better get on outta here!Copy !req
396. And don't come back!Copy !req
397. - Punk!
- Tray, bring your simple behind on!Copy !req
398. Hello?Copy !req
399. - Hey, yo, man. You page me?
- Yeah, yeah. You ready to be out?Copy !req
400. - Yeah. Let's move.
- All right.Copy !req
401. Niggas.Copy !req
402. I go and check them.Copy !req
403. Hyyaaa-aah!Copy !req
404. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
405. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
406. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
407. Break yourself!Copy !req
408. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
409. You dropped something.Copy !req
410. Yeah! Break yourself, fool!Copy !req
411. Yeah! Recognize.Copy !req
412. Gimme my money back.Copy !req
413. Word. Candy bars.
Hey! Ms. Lady Bitch.Copy !req
414. Hey. I'm talkin' to you.
How much for this candy bar?Copy !req
415. - Five dollar.
- What?Copy !req
416. Better give me some sucky-sucky
with that for five dollars.Copy !req
417. "Love me long time", or somethin'.Copy !req
418. You don't like?
You don't buy.Copy !req
419. Hey. Look here.Copy !req
420. Just charge us for the chips
and the ice cream. All right? Shoot.Copy !req
421. Hey, let's raise up outta here
'fore I Loc up on these people.Copy !req
422. Hey! Quit lickin' that damn
ice cream like thatCopy !req
423. 'fore I put you on the corner
to make me some money!Copy !req
424. I feel sorry
for your mother.Copy !req
425. What'd you say
about my mama?Copy !req
426. I don't want trouble. Just go!
Go home! Don't come back!Copy !req
427. What'd you say about my mama?
Break yourself!Copy !req
428. No!Copy !req
429. You break? You buy!
Soda, five dollar!Copy !req
430. Loc, what are you
doin', man? Come on!Copy !req
431. Aah! Pickles!
Ten dollar!Copy !req
432. Come on, gimme money!
Gimme money right now!Copy !req
433. Right-- shirt!Copy !req
434. Nineteen ninety-five!
On sale! Come on!Copy !req
435. Yo, Loc! Are you crazy?
What the hell did you do?Copy !req
436. Hey, fool. It wasn't me!
I ain't hurt nobody!Copy !req
437. Catch.Copy !req
438. The man!Copy !req
439. Have a nice day.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
440. He's good.Copy !req
441. Come on, Tray.
Let's get outta here!Copy !req
442. Hey, man,
check out that 6-4.Copy !req
443. What up, nigga.Copy !req
444. Aw, damn. What up, grandma?Copy !req
445. Tell your daddy to page me.Copy !req
446. All right, then. All right.
Play or stay up?Copy !req
447. Peace.Copy !req
448. Now, now I realize that--
that-- that every now and again,Copy !req
449. some of you womenfolk,
you get hot.Copy !req
450. You get bothered. And every now
and again you get hot and bothered!Copy !req
451. - Amen!
- Ha! Well, what I want you to do...Copy !req
452. When you get that hot and
you need a little... relief,Copy !req
453. I want you to--
I want you to call me.Copy !req
454. - Don't ask no question.
- Good to see you today, Gloria.Copy !req
455. Good to see you too, Miss Williams.Copy !req
456. Tired hoe.Copy !req
457. - His only son, did he do it?
- Come on.Copy !req
458. - Abraham didn't ask no questions.
- Thank you, baby.Copy !req
459. And that's what God expects
from his sheep!Copy !req
460. Here at the Greater Ebenezer
New Revival Tree of LifeCopy !req
461. Institutional Double Rock
On the Side of the RoadCopy !req
462. That Jericho Missionary
Baptist Church of ZionCopy !req
463. And I say Mount Calvary
y'all don't help me?Copy !req
464. - Preach on, reverend!
- Ain't that the truth!Copy !req
465. God expects you to do
what the Lord wants you to.Copy !req
466. Like those of you, who realize thatCopy !req
467. that the Lord wants you to give generously to his church.Copy !req
468. - Amen!
- Don't ask no questions.Copy !req
469. Don't ask how come, uh, uh, uh...Copy !req
470. Why come the pastor have to have him
a nice house? Huh?Copy !req
471. Or why come a pastor
got to have a nice car? Huh?Copy !req
472. Don't ask... I said don't ask.Copy !req
473. I said, don't ask no questions.Copy !req
474. Just give the money.Copy !req
475. Amen! I got $100 right here!Copy !req
476. Brother Deacon, get the collection plate
around on that side.Copy !req
477. Nigga, get it around on that side.Copy !req
478. We will now have a--
A "b" selection from the choir.Copy !req
479. I feel the spirit!
Whoo! Yes.Copy !req
480. Ain't that the truth?Copy !req
481. All right, grandma!Copy !req
482. - Yes, lord!
- Praise the lord!Copy !req
483. Well, Malik, kid, man. How's it feel?
Your first day of college?Copy !req
484. Aw, it ain't nothin' dope.
You be up in there next year.Copy !req
485. Yeah, well, you know. I'm thinkin'
about goin' away to college myself, kids.Copy !req
486. Thank you, brother.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
487. - Hey, hey!
- Loc, you better stop clownin',Copy !req
488. Get your G.E.D. Before you
end up like that brother back there.Copy !req
489. - There you go, brother.
- Thank you, man.Copy !req
490. Bro, I'm gonna get me
my "G-O-B." A job.Copy !req
491. Yeah, I heard they hirin' down at B.M.
Motors, Tray. Come down there with me.Copy !req
492. Not today, Loc.
I gotta take my driver's test.Copy !req
493. This is what fresh air
smell like.Copy !req
494. Yeah. You livin' it, man.Copy !req
495. Wow. That's great.Copy !req
496. - All right, man.
- All right, man.Copy !req
497. - Stay up.
- All right, man.Copy !req
498. All right. That's enough of all
that sentimental stuff.Copy !req
499. Yo, Malik.
Don't forget about us, baby.Copy !req
500. - Hey, one love, baby.
- Big baby!Copy !req
501. You know, Malik is the first one
in the hood to go to college.Copy !req
502. Yeah.Copy !req
503. Finally, someone from
the hood is gonna make it.Copy !req
504. Yeah, there is hope.Copy !req
505. Yeah!Copy !req
506. Hello, I'm Mr. Walker.
I'm your examiner for today.Copy !req
507. Put on your seat belt,
check your mirrors. Let's begin.Copy !req
508. Okay.Copy !req
509. Make a right, right there.Copy !req
510. And... make another left here.Copy !req
511. Park right there.Copy !req
512. Wait here.Copy !req
513. Come back here!
Somebody call the police!Copy !req
514. Drive, motherfucker! Drive!Copy !req
515. It was nice meeting you.Copy !req
516. - We'll be in touch.
- Thank you very much. Okay.Copy !req
517. My God!Copy !req
518. Hey!Copy !req
519. Yes? May I help you?Copy !req
520. Yeah, I heard y'all niggas
was hirin'. What's up?Copy !req
521. Yes. Here. Why don't you
fill out this application?Copy !req
522. Tsk. Make me write and shit.Copy !req
523. If I was white,
wouldn't be makin' me write.Copy !req
524. Well, actually, originally
I'm from the East coast.Copy !req
525. But after my Master's
I thought I'd take a break,Copy !req
526. so here I am.Copy !req
527. I was tired of living off of daddy.Copy !req
528. "Age." Nineteen.Copy !req
529. "Height." Six-deuce, babe.Copy !req
530. "Father's name."
I don't know.Copy !req
531. "Sex." Hell, yeah, nigga.Copy !req
532. "Salary desired."Copy !req
533. Three million dollars.
Cash.Copy !req
534. You know, being an lvy leaguer
can be such a leg up.Copy !req
535. You know, I spent five years
at Harvard.Copy !req
536. Really? I just spent
six months at county.Copy !req
537. Anybody ever try and take
your manhood?Copy !req
538. Then he sees the warden comin',Copy !req
539. So he hides you, but you still
got that plunger in your ass.Copy !req
540. - So you just squeal and cry.
- Um--Copy !req
541. - Don't you hate when that happens?
- Let's get outta here.Copy !req
542. - Hey, where y'all goin'?
- Loc Dog?Copy !req
543. - Mr. Loc Dog?
- That's me.Copy !req
544. - You're next.
- Mister, Loc Dog?Copy !req
545. - Hey, what's up, baby? All right!
- Yeah, right. Ha-ha.Copy !req
546. - You all right? Yeah.
- Yeah! No.Copy !req
547. - Energy. Eager man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
548. Yes, I-- I like that.
Right this way.Copy !req
549. ...Loc Dog.Copy !req
550. Heh. Uh, let me just move this.Copy !req
551. So, uh, let me see.Copy !req
552. Very interesting, um--Copy !req
553. I see your hobbies are drinking,
smoking weed, and all types of ill shit.Copy !req
554. Yeah.Copy !req
555. - Do you drive an automobile?
- Um, with or without the boot?Copy !req
556. Doesn't matter.
Well, congratulations.Copy !req
557. You got yourself a job.Copy !req
558. Right on, huh?Copy !req
559. Hey, where the seat belts at?Copy !req
560. Don't worry.
They won't be necessary.Copy !req
561. Hey, man, how you
work this radio?Copy !req
562. Aah!Copy !req
563. Whoo!
One more time!Copy !req
564. Boy! Yeah!Copy !req
565. Yeah! I told you, you ain't
got no game for me, boy!Copy !req
566. Now I'm going to wear you out,
you little punk.Copy !req
567. - What's that?
- My gat, fool.Copy !req
568. Where you learn
how to use a gun, anyway?Copy !req
569. Cartoons and hood movies.Copy !req
570. Doo Rag, don't you know that you
and I are an endangered species?Copy !req
571. - Why, because we're black males?
- No!Copy !req
572. Because all the rappers
are takin' all the good actin' jobs!Copy !req
573. Listen, Doo Rag. Havin' a gun
doesn't give you any power.Copy !req
574. You wanna know where
the real power is?Copy !req
575. - In the bullets.
- No! In the books.Copy !req
576. See, Doo Rag,Copy !req
577. your mind--Copy !req
578. It is like a gun!Copy !req
579. And you gonna load it up...Copy !req
580. With little, itty-bitty...Copy !req
581. Bullets of knowledge.Copy !req
582. Message!Copy !req
583. Hey. What are you doin'?Copy !req
584. Writing a poem.Copy !req
585. See, my poetry, it helps me escape the
harsh realities of livin' in the hood.Copy !req
586. That's deep.Copy !req
587. Hey, you wanna read me one?Copy !req
588. Okay.Copy !req
589. Let me see.Copy !req
590. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
591. "Love is by far...Copy !req
592. The most precious thing on earth,Copy !req
593. iike a rose's fragrance...Copy !req
594. Or a child's birth.Copy !req
595. Love me...Copy !req
596. And leave me...Copy !req
597. that's the story of my life.Copy !req
598. But it won't happen again, see,Copy !req
599. since I bought
a butcher's knife.Copy !req
600. Yeah, see, the next man
who loves me,Copy !req
601. and leaves me so quick, mhm.Copy !req
602. I'm gon' cut off his balls
and I'm gon' chop off his dick.Copy !req
603. I'm gon' shoot that motherfucker.
I'm gon' kill him!Copy !req
604. I'm gon' stab that motherfucker!
Shit! Fuckin' with me?Copy !req
605. No! I'm gon' run him over
with my car, see.Copy !req
606. He fuckin' with the wrong motherfucker.
You don't fuck with me!Copy !req
607. - I will kill that motherfucker--"
- baby, baby, baby, baby.Copy !req
608. - I get the point. It was-- that was--
- You liked it?Copy !req
609. That was good. I mean,
it touched me in a... really...Copy !req
610. Special place.Copy !req
611. Look. You wait right here.Copy !req
612. I sure will.Copy !req
613. Psst.Copy !req
614. Dashiki was far
more sexually experienced than I was.Copy !req
615. She taught me
all about foreplay.Copy !req
616. Until then, I ain't
never done foreplay before.Copy !req
617. But then again, who needs foreplay
when you're jackin' off?Copy !req
618. Thirsty?Copy !req
619. Nuh-fool!
That's the baby's lunch.Copy !req
620. Ah!Copy !req
621. Huh?Copy !req
622. Damn girl.
So tight.Copy !req
623. Wrong hole, fool!Copy !req
624. My bad.Copy !req
625. I couldn't believe this
was happening to me.Copy !req
626. I was losing my virginity
to the woman of my dreams.Copy !req
627. Talk dirty to me.Copy !req
628. I'm coming!Copy !req
629. What did you say?Copy !req
630. Never mind.Copy !req
631. I'll tell you when I wake up.Copy !req
632. Ashtray, wake up!Copy !req
633. What? What's up, baby?Copy !req
634. I need to tell you something.Copy !req
635. What's up?Copy !req
636. - I'm pregnant.
- Already?Copy !req
637. Are you sure?Copy !req
638. I got seven kids. I think
I know what I'm talkin' about!Copy !req
639. Dashiki, I-- I'm not ready
to be no father right now.Copy !req
640. So you man enough
to come up in me,Copy !req
641. but you ain't man enough
to take care of what comes out,Copy !req
642. get my nails done,
get my hair done,Copy !req
643. pay my rent
and get me a new car?Copy !req
644. You know what?
You ain't nothin' but a little boy.Copy !req
645. Ain't all about the size of the boat!
It's the motion in the ocean.Copy !req
646. That's not what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
647. As a matter of fact, get out!
Get outta my bed!Copy !req
648. - Get outta my house! Get out!
- Wha-- what's-- what's up?Copy !req
649. - And take your shit with you!
- Why you trippin'?Copy !req
650. I don't wanna see you no more.Copy !req
651. - I don't wanna talk to you.
- What did I do?Copy !req
652. - Wha-- wha-- hey!
- Take your shit!Copy !req
653. Aw, girl, come on, now.
This-- hey, this ain't mine!Copy !req
654. Get outta my house!Copy !req
655. - Uh!
- Get out!Copy !req
656. Order up!Copy !req
657. Yo, Loc, man. Dashiki's pregnant.Copy !req
658. Fool, Dashiki was born pregnant.
What else is new?Copy !req
659. What else is new?
It's mine.Copy !req
660. - Whoo! Thank you.
- Aw, man. Are you sure?Copy !req
661. She said I was the only one
she been with in the past 20 minutes.Copy !req
662. - Damn!
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
663. And you believed her, huh?Copy !req
664. Here you go, sucker--
I mean, brother. Ha.Copy !req
665. - That'll be $10.38.
- Wash them filthy hands.Copy !req
666. So what you gon'
do now, Tray?Copy !req
667. I don't know. I'm thinkin' about
movin' outta the hood with her.Copy !req
668. What? Aw, fool!Copy !req
669. Look here. Let me tell you
somethin', Tray.Copy !req
670. You could take Dashiki
outta the hood,Copy !req
671. but you can't take
the hood niggas out of Dashiki.Copy !req
672. - Aw, damn! Five-o.
- Man!Copy !req
673. You there!
Get out of the truck...Copy !req
674. And put your hands
in the air.Copy !req
675. Stand on one leg.Copy !req
676. With the tip of your finger,
touch the tip of your nose.Copy !req
677. Now in a circular motion,
rub your stomach and pat your head...Copy !req
678. While saying,
"rubber baby buggy bumpers."Copy !req
679. Rubber baby buggy bumpers.Copy !req
680. Strike a pose.
Now, Vogue.Copy !req
681. Now walk slowly
toward the car.Copy !req
682. - We didn't even do nothin'.
- What?Copy !req
683. You think you're tough?Copy !req
684. You don't look so tough now,
you little nigga.Copy !req
685. I hate you black bastards.
You stink!Copy !req
686. I hate your black skin.Copy !req
687. I hate your black pants.Copy !req
688. I hate black pepper!Copy !req
689. I hate black keys
on the piano!Copy !req
690. I hate my guns
'cause they black.Copy !req
691. I hate Whoopi Goldberg's lips.Copy !req
692. I hate the back of Forest Whitaker's neck.
Aah!Copy !req
693. And most of all, I hate
that black-ass Wesley Snipes!Copy !req
694. Move it!Copy !req
695. - Come on.
- Let's go.Copy !req
696. Move it.Copy !req
697. We got arrested for bein' black
on a Friday night.Copy !req
698. Don't try me, all right?Copy !req
699. It was a misdemeanor, so I
thought we'd be out right away.Copy !req
700. - Oh!
- Yeah!Copy !req
701. - Oh, yeah!
- Right there, right there!Copy !req
702. There you go!Copy !req
703. All right. Get in there.Copy !req
704. - What's up, youngblood?
- What's up?Copy !req
705. - Swine, my brother?
- Nah. No, thanks.Copy !req
706. Let me tell you something.Copy !req
707. If you hit a man, in time,
his wounds will heal.Copy !req
708. And if you steal from a man,
you can replace what you steal.Copy !req
709. And always cross in the green,
never in between.Copy !req
710. Because the honorable
Elijah Muhammad Ali...Copy !req
711. Floats like a butterfly
and stings like a bee.Copy !req
712. Just thinkin' about spending
another minute with Farrakhan-victCopy !req
713. made me never want to do
time in the joint again.Copy !req
714. Boy, am I happy
to see you, man.Copy !req
715. And always remember,
my brother:Copy !req
716. One fish, two fish,
red fish, blue fish.Copy !req
717. Nick, nack, paddy-wack,
get a dog a bone.Copy !req
718. Two thousand, zero, zero, party--
Oops, outta time!Copy !req
719. My bacon smellin' fine.Copy !req
720. - What's up, toothpick?
- What's up?Copy !req
721. All ready, we gon'
jump this fool in.Copy !req
722. Let's do this, ai dog.Copy !req
723. What's up there, little homie?
'Bout ready to do this?Copy !req
724. Yeah, man. I'm ready.Copy !req
725. - What's up?
- What's up?Copy !req
726. You been hangin' with the homies
in the hood for a while now.Copy !req
727. It's about time we
jumped your punk ass in.Copy !req
728. That's right.
Let me tell you somethin'.Copy !req
729. - In this world, if you can't swim--
- You bound to dr-z-own.Copy !req
730. - Yeah. And if you fall,Copy !req
731. - You better pick your punk ass up!
- That's right.Copy !req
732. And the rest of y'all,Copy !req
733. don't cut him no slack!Copy !req
734. Y'all fools get busy.Copy !req
735. - Let's go.
- Work him, dog, work him.Copy !req
736. We're gonna have to
play Monopoly again some time.Copy !req
737. - All right.
- No.Copy !req
738. You ain't winning nothin' anyway.
And the money that you do win,Copy !req
739. - I'll Jack you for it, fool.
- Tie your shoe.Copy !req
740. Hey! Which one of y'all
is Ashtray?Copy !req
741. - I--
- What's up, partner?Copy !req
742. Heard you got my boy Toothpick's
girlfriend pregnant, partner.Copy !req
743. - Me?
- Yeah, you.Copy !req
744. Um... hey, brother, man.Copy !req
745. - What's up?
- I don't want any trouble, man.Copy !req
746. - You know, I'm just taking crazy legs--
- Wait, you must not have heard me, partner.Copy !req
747. Tray, let me handle this
like a gentleman, all right?Copy !req
748. Hey, my man, you know. My man
sayin' he don't want no trouble.Copy !req
749. You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
750. - But I do! Come here!
- Yeah, Loc!Copy !req
751. - Show that fool!
- Yeah, here!Copy !req
752. Get... your... body... down!
What's up now, partner?Copy !req
753. - Stomp him, Preach!
- We shouldn't--Copy !req
754. - Aaah!
- Yeah, nice execution.Copy !req
755. I'm gonna give that an eight.Copy !req
756. Yeah, yeah!
Make him a cripple like me.Copy !req
757. - Stomp him!
- LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA.Copy !req
758. After stompin'
one of Toothpick's boys,Copy !req
759. We knew we had to go get
some backup.Copy !req
760. - So we went over to our homie Old School's house.
- Hey, Loc, man.Copy !req
761. Are you sure this guy's
gonna have our back?Copy !req
762. Hey, Tray, let me tell you somethin'
about old school, all right?Copy !req
763. He's the most dangerous
O.G. on the set.Copy !req
764. Let me tell you
young punks somethin'.Copy !req
765. I been down in this hood a long time.
I seen a lot of things.Copy !req
766. I survived the Watts riots, gang wars.
You know how I did it?Copy !req
767. How?Copy !req
768. By standin' my ground
and havin' my homies watch my back.Copy !req
769. - Word!
- So don't let nobody mess with your set.Copy !req
770. - Yeah!
- And like me,Copy !req
771. don't let nobody
give you no shit.Copy !req
772. - Yeah, old school.
- Bartholemew?Copy !req
773. Bartholemew!Copy !req
774. - Come here, boy.
- Ah, shit.Copy !req
775. - What did you say, boy?
- I said, "ah, shoot," ma. "Shoot."Copy !req
776. Didn't I tell you
to clean your room?Copy !req
777. Ma, come on. The gang needs me.
I'm their leader.Copy !req
778. Gang?Copy !req
779. You better get in there and clean
that room in the next ten minutes,Copy !req
780. Or else you gonna be walking
down the street with three shoes.Copy !req
781. Two on your feet
and one in your ass, sucker.Copy !req
782. Thank you, mama.Copy !req
783. - Yeah. So you gonna roll with us?
- I can't.Copy !req
784. Why not? Oh, the police
is after you, huh?Copy !req
785. Nah, I'm on punishment.
My mom says I can't leave the porch.Copy !req
786. - Man!
- Come on. Let's hold the porch down.Copy !req
787. Say, that's a nice Walker, lady.
Cough it up.Copy !req
788. Turn around! Give it up!Copy !req
789. Man, I need to get out
of this place.Copy !req
790. Fool, what you talking about?
Leave the hood?Copy !req
791. Fool, this is
home sweet home.Copy !req
792. I love the smell of gun smoke
in the morning.Copy !req
793. Yo, Preach.
At least Ashtray got a dream.Copy !req
794. That's more than I can say
for half the homies in the hood.Copy !req
795. - Why, little foots, you got a dream?
- Yeah.Copy !req
796. I got a dream.Copy !req
797. Yeah!Copy !req
798. Aaah!Copy !req
799. Hey, Loc, I hope you ain't sellin'
out on me with no jive-ass dream.Copy !req
800. Hell, no. You know
I ain't got no self-esteem.Copy !req
801. I ain't gonna grow up to be shit,
just like you, baby.Copy !req
802. Where them pussies hiding at?Copy !req
803. They're probably over
at that trick's house.Copy !req
804. - What trick?
- Dashiki, fool.Copy !req
805. - Ooh, I miss makin' love to her.
- Me too.Copy !req
806. - What you talkin' about?
- I was helpin' you out.Copy !req
807. - How was you helpin' me?
- You was locked down, fool.Copy !req
808. Man, just give me the book.Copy !req
809. Nothin' I can read.Copy !req
810. Hey, baby.Copy !req
811. Man, can you hook me up
with directions to Crenshaw, man?Copy !req
812. Fool, you better get
your crusty behind away from me!Copy !req
813. Man, I'll suck your dick, man.Copy !req
814. - What you say to me?
- I'll suck your dick, man!Copy !req
815. Man.Copy !req
816. All right, so what
you want to do, my man.Copy !req
817. Go to the corner, go about
three blocks down and make a right.Copy !req
818. - And you'll be right there on Crenshaw.
- Check it out.Copy !req
819. Aaah!Copy !req
820. - What should we do?
- Run like a bitch, fool!Copy !req
821. - Mama! Mama!
- Wait!Copy !req
822. No, man, we gon' die!Copy !req
823. Aaah!Copy !req
824. Aaah!Copy !req
825. Let's go!Copy !req
826. I'm hit. I'm hit!Copy !req
827. Hey, legs!
Legs, you okay, man?Copy !req
828. You got hit
by the bullets, man?Copy !req
829. No, I got hit by a car.Copy !req
830. Come on. He 'ight.
Hey, nigga.Copy !req
831. Let's help him get-- let's get him
in the truck. Hey, get his baby shoe.Copy !req
832. Nigga, I know you're crippled,
but help me out. Come on.Copy !req
833. - Why!?
- Bring your simple ass, Tray!Copy !req
834. My head. My head!Copy !req
835. J-nug, you all right?
Answer me, man. You all right? J-nug!Copy !req
836. - Fuck it! Help!
- Sister, sister!Copy !req
837. - We need a doctor fast!
- You know, I went to see Jason's lyric this weekend.Copy !req
838. Ooh, yeah, G Money. Wasn't he cute?
Did you see his butt? It was hairy.Copy !req
839. I know you didn't think
that "ass-fro" was cute.Copy !req
840. We need a doctor right now!Copy !req
841. - Yeah, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay?
- Right now, sister!Copy !req
842. What I'm gonna need you to do
is fill this form out.Copy !req
843. Thank you.Copy !req
844. May I have a pen, please?
Thank you.Copy !req
845. Excuse me. Do you know where
I can get some water around here?Copy !req
846. God!Copy !req
847. Here.Copy !req
848. - Thanks.
- You're number 1,012.Copy !req
849. One thousand, twelve.
One thousand, twelve.Copy !req
850. Number 213. Now serving number 213.Copy !req
851. - Damn!
- Damn, I hope I'm next.Copy !req
852. - Come on.
- We're gonna do it.Copy !req
853. Between Crazy Legs
being hit in the drive-by,Copy !req
854. the Korean store shootings,
jail, and Dashiki being pregnant,Copy !req
855. - Dashiki, open the door!
- I felt like I was about to explode.Copy !req
856. Whoo!Copy !req
857. What are you doing?Copy !req
858. Trying to win best actor
on the Soul Train Awards.Copy !req
859. Look, Dashiki,
I'm sorry about last night.Copy !req
860. I thought about it, and
I want to be a father to my child.Copy !req
861. And another thing.Copy !req
862. I also realized
how much I love you.Copy !req
863. And I wanna leave
the hood with you.Copy !req
864. But there's something
we need to do before we go.Copy !req
865. Look, I'm taking the kids,
and I'm moving out of the hood.Copy !req
866. I just wanted them to come
say goodbye to their daddies.Copy !req
867. Gimme the man.Copy !req
868. You're a good brother, Tray.
Yeah.Copy !req
869. Me?Copy !req
870. I've been in jail
a long time, T.Copy !req
871. Sometimes I feel like
a caged animal.Copy !req
872. How come you never
came to see me, man?Copy !req
873. Nigga, I don't know you.Copy !req
874. Oh, yeah.
Haha.Copy !req
875. You don't know me.
That's right. That's right.Copy !req
876. But dig this here, Tray.Copy !req
877. Teach my son
how to be a man, Tray.Copy !req
878. How to be a man.Copy !req
879. Gimme some.Copy !req
880. Jif!Copy !req
881. - Hey, what's up, home? Hey.
- What's up?Copy !req
882. Hey, man,
you got everything?Copy !req
883. Cool.Copy !req
884. - I'm gonna get some, right?
- Nigga, don't even play me like that.Copy !req
885. All right. Come on, man.Copy !req
886. hey, what's up, crazy?Copy !req
887. - Hey, brother!
- How you feelin', man?Copy !req
888. How you doin', brother?Copy !req
889. Doctor say I ain't
ever gonna walk again.Copy !req
890. - No, no!
- No!Copy !req
891. - Homie, I ha--
- Homie.Copy !req
892. - No.
- Fool, get off me!Copy !req
893. You've been paralyzed
for the last five years.Copy !req
894. Oh, yeah.
Haha.Copy !req
895. Don't worry, Legs, man.Copy !req
896. When I find that Toothpick,
I'm gonna smoke him.Copy !req
897. No! We need to put an end to
all this black-on-black crime.Copy !req
898. - We need to call a truce.
- What about that time you shot Byron?Copy !req
899. - Ain't that black-on-black crime?
- Yeah.Copy !req
900. - No. Byron was light-skinned.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
901. - Hey, you're about to go to this party?
- Yeah.Copy !req
902. - And, you're gonna be doing some drinking?
- A little something.Copy !req
903. Let me tell you about
drinking and driving, man.Copy !req
904. Boy, that shit is fun, man. Yo, what
you do is get yourself a 40, right?Copy !req
905. You get on the freeway,
Bam! Punch it to 85.Copy !req
906. Then you turn off your lights,
let go of the steering wheel.Copy !req
907. - It will bug you out. You got to try it, man.
- Man!Copy !req
908. - I'm gonna try it.
- Hey, why didn't y'all invite me to the party?Copy !req
909. Come on, pop. You know
you gotta be 18 and older.Copy !req
910. Aw, man.Copy !req
911. Besides, it's getting past your bedtime.
You brush your teeth?Copy !req
912. - Yeah.
- Let me see.Copy !req
913. No.
There we go.Copy !req
914. - All right, I'm out.
- All right. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
915. Before you go, why don't you
read me, like, a bedtime story,Copy !req
916. like the good old days?Copy !req
917. - All right. Just one.
- That's all I need.Copy !req
918. All right.Copy !req
919. Flip to a good one.
Here we go.Copy !req
920. "This is the story
of Dick and Mary."Copy !req
921. Mary lies on the bed
and spreads her thighs.Copy !req
922. Dick thrusts his large member
into her waiting vagina.Copy !req
923. 'Fuck me, fuck me,' Mary screams.Copy !req
924. Dick covers her head with a pillow
'cause she's too noisy.Copy !req
925. - Yeah.
- Dick continues to pound her swollen openingCopy !req
926. 'Til he climates.Copy !req
927. 'I'm coming! I'm coming!'Copy !req
928. Yeah.Copy !req
929. and he falls asleep."Copy !req
930. Good night, pops.Copy !req
931. Domino, nigga! Yeah!Copy !req
932. - Hey, what's up?
- What's up, niggas? Hey!Copy !req
933. What's up, baby? Hey, what
you making, some jiffy pop?Copy !req
934. - What's up, bro?
- What's up, baby? How you doin'? All right.Copy !req
935. - What's up, nigga? Black-on-black crime!
- What's going on?Copy !req
936. What's up, man?Copy !req
937. I got one question.
Who's got that chronic, nigga?Copy !req
938. - Come on, nigga.
- Who got that chronic?Copy !req
939. I got that ill killer shit.
Guaranteed to fuck you up.Copy !req
940. Hey, nigga, light
that shit up. Fuck me up.Copy !req
941. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
942. Ooh!Copy !req
943. - Toke! Toke! nigga, toke!
- Whoo!Copy !req
944. Look at that shit! Ha!Copy !req
945. Hey, man, he's going
into convulsion!Copy !req
946. - Man, he ain't breathin'.
- He's foamin' at the mouth, man.Copy !req
947. Yo, he dead.Copy !req
948. Yo, pass that shit!Copy !req
949. Yo, pass that. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
950. Hit it!Copy !req
951. Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it!Copy !req
952. See, now, that's what
I'm talking about, Shabomboo.Copy !req
953. - So good, so good.
- Yeah, nigga's trying to hide the good shit.Copy !req
954. Ha-ha!Copy !req
955. Baby, you wanna dance?Copy !req
956. Yes, I do, but not with you.Copy !req
957. Hoodrat, hoodrat!
Hoodrat, hoodrat!Copy !req
958. Hey, girl, how you doin'?
My name is Loc Dog.Copy !req
959. - What's your name?
- LaQuanda.Copy !req
960. Whoo!Copy !req
961. LaQuanda, do you have a boyfriend?Copy !req
962. No. You know, men always seem
to be really intimidated by me.Copy !req
963. But, I don't know why.Copy !req
964. You know?Copy !req
965. Well, you know.Copy !req
966. I can understand how a pretty girl like
yourself might make a man a little sick.Copy !req
967. I mean nervous.Copy !req
968. Yeah, well, it takes a really
special kind of man to be with me.Copy !req
969. Ooh.Copy !req
970. - You know?
- Yeah, well, let me go find him.Copy !req
971. Damn, girl, you need to
slow down with that.Copy !req
972. You ain't my daddy,
and you ain't payin' any of my bills.Copy !req
973. Mind your business.
Ooh! That my song.Copy !req
974. Hi.Copy !req
975. My name is Loc Dog.
What's your name?Copy !req
976. - Keisha.
- Keisha?Copy !req
977. You always this shy, Keisha?Copy !req
978. Look here, Keisha, why don't we go back
to my place and have a little nightcap.Copy !req
979. I don't know.Copy !req
980. I just met you.Copy !req
981. Hey, girl, the dog don't bite
unless you ask him.Copy !req
982. - Okay.
- All right. Come on.Copy !req
983. I guess it'll be all right.Copy !req
984. Baby, you really love me?Copy !req
985. You know I do, girl.Copy !req
986. Gu-gu-gu-gu-gu-gu.Copy !req
987. I really shouldn't.Copy !req
988. Come on, girl.
Ain't gonna hurt you.Copy !req
989. It's just that when I drink,
sometimes I get a little crazy.Copy !req
990. And that's what I want.Copy !req
991. See, I don't want you to think
I'm a freak or nothin' like that,Copy !req
992. because I usually don't even go home
with guys when I first meet 'em.Copy !req
993. But I just feel
so comfortable with you.Copy !req
994. Hey, and that's good, girl.Copy !req
995. Whenever you're with me,Copy !req
996. I want you to just relax
and be yourself.Copy !req
997. You are so nasty.Copy !req
998. - I should be going.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, baby.Copy !req
999. Relax. Okay? Just relax.Copy !req
1000. Don't you go nowhere.Copy !req
1001. You're in good hands now, girl.
Loc Dog's gonna take good care of you, baby.Copy !req
1002. You sure... it's okay?Copy !req
1003. I want you to just
be yourself, okay?Copy !req
1004. I told you I could
get a little crazy.Copy !req
1005. Yeah, you get crazy. Come on.Copy !req
1006. Okay.Copy !req
1007. - All right, motherfucker, let's get it on.
- Aah!Copy !req
1008. No, nigga,
you ain't going nowhere.Copy !req
1009. Fresh air, fresh fish.Copy !req
1010. - Nothin' like the great outdoors, pop?
- No.Copy !req
1011. Pop, can we talk,
teenager to teenager?Copy !req
1012. See, I met this girl.
She's pretty special.Copy !req
1013. She's moving out of the hood
in a couple of days,Copy !req
1014. and I'm thinking about going with her.Copy !req
1015. - Man, who is this girl?
- Her name's Dashiki.Copy !req
1016. - Dashiki from over there on Penetration Avenue?
- Come on, pop!Copy !req
1017. Don't tell me
you slept with her too.Copy !req
1018. No, no. It ain't nothin' like that, son.
It ain't nothin' like that.Copy !req
1019. - She sure could suck a dick, though.
- What?Copy !req
1020. Nothing, son. Go ahead.
Tell me about this girl.Copy !req
1021. Anyway, I think I'm in love.Copy !req
1022. So, what?
You knockin' boobs yet?Copy !req
1023. - Yeah.
- Hold on.Copy !req
1024. You use a condom?Copy !req
1025. - No.
- Good! That's my boy! That's my boy!Copy !req
1026. Yo, never use condoms, son.
They take away all the feelin'.Copy !req
1027. Yeah. Only thing is,
now she's pregnant.Copy !req
1028. - I don't know what to do.
- Man, look.Copy !req
1029. Let me give you the same advice
my father gave me, all right?Copy !req
1030. Give up hope. Look at me.
Dreams are for suckers.Copy !req
1031. Ain't no future for you.Copy !req
1032. And don't think about
gettin' no job, Tray,Copy !req
1033. 'cause a black man ain't got no place
in the work force.Copy !req
1034. So, hold up,
let me get this straight.Copy !req
1035. What you trying to say is, don't get
caught up in the white man's systemCopy !req
1036. of self-perpetuating
unemploymentCopy !req
1037. And wind up trying to survive on
welfare checks and food stamps, right?Copy !req
1038. Wrong, man! Hell, ain't nothing wrong
with no welfare check.Copy !req
1039. That's called free money. Hell, our
family survived six generations on it.Copy !req
1040. Thanks, pop.Copy !req
1041. - You always know what to say, man.
- I thought you knew, boy.Copy !req
1042. My boy Tray.
Gettin' himself some sex.Copy !req
1043. Yeah.Copy !req
1044. - See, man, right over here.
- Gettin' locked up in the city ain't the same.Copy !req
1045. Goddamn! Get the map!
Get the map!Copy !req
1046. Fuck it. Let's go twist
these niggas in a cat bag, man.Copy !req
1047. Can't you read, man?
It's over here.Copy !req
1048. Read this. Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
1049. - Drive!
- Let's go.Copy !req
1050. - What's up, Loc?
- What's up, Tray?Copy !req
1051. Can't believe your mark-ass
is finally leavin' the hood.Copy !req
1052. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me and Dashiki's gonna tie that knot.Copy !req
1053. You need to tie a knot
in that bitch's tubes.Copy !req
1054. - Naw.
- Really.Copy !req
1055. I actually think we're
gonna be all right.Copy !req
1056. - Hey, why don't you come with us?
- What?Copy !req
1057. Take a road trip
in a mail truck?Copy !req
1058. Fool, that's the stupidest
idea I ever heard.Copy !req
1059. Well, anyway...
You just be careful.Copy !req
1060. Come on now, baby.
You're talkin' to Loc Dog. Ha-ha!Copy !req
1061. You know I'm gonna be all right.Copy !req
1062. Shoot.Copy !req
1063. Hey, Tray.Copy !req
1064. Never forget, man.Copy !req
1065. Either they don't know...Copy !req
1066. Or don't show,
or just don't careCopy !req
1067. About bein' a menace to South Central
while they drink their juice in the hood.Copy !req
1068. That's what it's all about, Tray.
That's what it's all about.Copy !req
1069. What the fuck
is he talkin' about?Copy !req
1070. Hey, what's up, little homie?Copy !req
1071. - What's up?
- How you doin', man?Copy !req
1072. Hey, you want some of this?
Make you grow hair on your nuts.Copy !req
1073. Say, man, don't be giving
that little kid no alcohol.Copy !req
1074. - Nigga, you ain't his daddy.
- I ain't? Hold up.Copy !req
1075. Dashiki! Bitch, you better give me
back my child support money!Copy !req
1076. Yeah.Copy !req
1077. - Hey, what's up, little man?
- Shh.Copy !req
1078. Like I was saying, what's up
with them hoes tonight?Copy !req
1079. Take care of my baby, all right?
And my truck.Copy !req
1080. What?Copy !req
1081. Come on, Tray. You know
I'm only playing with you.Copy !req
1082. Just shoot everything
in sight. Everything!Copy !req
1083. - Hey! Hey!
- Hey, break yourself!Copy !req
1084. Somebody, help me!Copy !req
1085. Dashiki! I'll call you later.Copy !req
1086. Page me!Copy !req
1087. Aaah!Copy !req
1088. I'm coming!Copy !req
1089. Is you okay, snowflake?Copy !req
1090. Yes, my big
chocolate warrior.Copy !req
1091. Doo Rag, take care of your mama!Copy !req
1092. Aah!Copy !req
1093. Break yourself!Copy !req
1094. Aaagh! Take that, motherfucker!Copy !req
1095. Aaagh!Copy !req
1096. Take that, motherfucker!Copy !req
1097. Hey, man, watch out!
Aaaah!Copy !req
1098. Hey. You know
you fucked up, right?Copy !req
1099. Yeah, you fucked up.
Hear what I'm saying?Copy !req
1100. Hey, grandma,
you got the juice now.Copy !req
1101. Go to hell.Copy !req
1102. Damn.Copy !req
1103. Tray, I'll marry you.
I promise. Just wake up.Copy !req
1104. I know, sister. I know.Copy !req
1105. - You're gonna miss him, aren't you?
- You damn right!Copy !req
1106. Where else am I gonna find a pussy-whipped fool
to take care of me and seven kids?Copy !req
1107. Ashtray!Copy !req
1108. Listen, sister, listen!Copy !req
1109. You are a strong
African-American woman.Copy !req
1110. And it's because of that
I can't be with you.Copy !req
1111. Looky there. Time for me to
take out the poor white trash.Copy !req
1112. Ashtray!Copy !req
1113. Who you calling whipped, girl?Copy !req
1114. - You're alive!
- Ow!Copy !req
1115. Lord, why you do this to me?
Christ, I can't take it!Copy !req
1116. I can't take it!
I can't take it!Copy !req
1117. My God!
My baby!Copy !req
1118. Mama.Copy !req
1119. Mama. I swallowed
my toothpick, mama.Copy !req
1120. Baby, you're okay!Copy !req
1121. Now, where's my money you stole,
you little hoodlum?Copy !req
1122. Give me my money.
I want my money.Copy !req
1123. - I'll beat the shit out of you!
- Okay, okay!Copy !req
1124. Where's my money?Copy !req
1125. Well, that's my story.Copy !req
1126. As for Dashiki and I,
we got married.Copy !req
1127. Loc Dog went
into show business.Copy !req
1128. Fuck y'all,
suck my dick, and...lick ass!Copy !req
1129. Preach, he settled down.Copy !req
1130. Crazy Legs' dream of becoming
a dancer finally came true.Copy !req
1131. And as for grandma,
well, she's still grandma.Copy !req
1132. Damn! This is some good shit!Copy !req