1. Yo! I'm fixed to tell you how it is in the hood.Copy !req
2. 'Cause in the hood, everybody's a target.Copy !req
3. It ain't like that.
I'm gonna tell you the real deal what goes on.Copy !req
4. See, in the hood,
most of us won't reach the age of 21.Copy !req
5. - For me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
6. - For me?
- Yeah. Make a wish.Copy !req
7. umCopy !req
8. No, Lord! Not my baby!
I know you didn't do me wrong!Copy !req
9. Oh, my Junior! I nursed him with these, Lord!Copy !req
10. - Not my baby!
- Yo. Yo, yo.Copy !req
11. Yo! Yo!Copy !req
12. This ain't your baby, this ain't your baby.Copy !req
13. Oh.Copy !req
14. Ain't that some shit?Copy !req
15. I'm gonna tell you what
it's really like livin' in the hood.Copy !req
16. I moved into my father's house after
living at my moms most of my life.Copy !req
17. Tray, I don't want you hangin' out
on the streets.Copy !req
18. I want you to finish school,Copy !req
19. 'cause without an education
the only work you'll getCopy !req
20. is selling drugs, pimping women,Copy !req
21. or workin' security for Eddie Murphy.Copy !req
22. I've done all I can.Copy !req
23. I got my education,
I worked two jobs to support you.Copy !req
24. But I can't teach you how to be a man.Copy !req
25. Only your father can do that.Copy !req
26. Now, gimme a kiss and be a good boy.Copy !req
27. - I love you, Tray.
- Love you too, Mom.Copy !req
28. So will I see you again?Copy !req
29. Sorry, baby.Copy !req
30. There ain't no positive black females
in these movies.Copy !req
31. Sorry!Copy !req
32. My father tried his best
to give me advice,Copy !req
33. but he was only
a couple of years older than me.Copy !req
34. Fool, I told you!
I don't want no damn Watchtower!Copy !req
35. - What's up, nigger?
- What's up, Pops?Copy !req
36. - How you doin', man? How's it goin'?
- Oh, man!Copy !req
37. Look at you. It's gonna be on.Copy !req
38. Look at you, man. Look, you got big, man.Copy !req
39. Last time I seen you, you was this tall.Copy !req
40. They wouldn't let you
on the rides at the amusement park.Copy !req
41. All good.
I was about to eat breakfast. Hungry?Copy !req
42. I'm full, man, I had some Red Hots.Copy !req
43. Hey, man, come on in.Copy !req
44. Allow me. You a guest in my house.
Make yourself at home.Copy !req
45. Are those your Bo's?
I'm gonna be sportin' them, man.Copy !req
46. It's good to have you up in here.Copy !req
47. I'm gonna finish gettin' my swoll on right,
so have a seat, man.Copy !req
48. Make sure your ass is on that plastic.Copy !req
49. So we not bumpin' heads, if you're
gonna stay, you follow some rules.Copy !req
50. Which is no smokin' my shit, drinkin' my shit,Copy !req
51. and if you bring any of them hos up in here,Copy !req
52. make sure I fuck 'em first.Copy !req
53. And you're gonna have some chores.Copy !req
54. - Chores?
- Right. This ain't no free ride.Copy !req
55. Keep track of my Matchbox cars,Copy !req
56. organise the damn Sega Genesis cartridges.Copy !req
57. I want you to do my homework
since you wanna be a smart-ass.Copy !req
58. And at night-time, cut the hair on my balls.Copy !req
59. Hold up. Can I ask a question, Pop?
What you gonna be doin'?Copy !req
60. Look, nigger, I ain't got to do nothin'.
My momma take care of me.Copy !req
61. I know you think I'm bein' hard on you,Copy !req
62. but I'm tr yin' to teach you
some responsibility.Copy !req
63. You right, Pop.Copy !req
64. Hey, could you line me up in the back?Copy !req
65. That's gonna run you about $13.Copy !req
66. $13? The Spanish dude
down the block only charges six.Copy !req
67. Take your ass to him
and let him fuck your head up.Copy !req
68. Nah, I'll let you cut me up.Copy !req
69. - Let me ask you a question.
- What's up?Copy !req
70. - You still a virgin?
- Of course.Copy !req
71. Well, there was this one dude who
rubbed up against my butt one time,Copy !req
72. but I ain't like it.Copy !req
73. I'm talkin' about girls, man.Copy !req
74. Oh, girls. Come on, Pops.
Now, you know I be gettin' mine.Copy !req
75. You gettin' it or you gettin' it?Copy !req
76. I'm gettin' it.Copy !req
77. - I ain't told you about that honey?
- What honey?Copy !req
78. I met the finest, brown-skinned cutie
at the corner market.Copy !req
79. She had big breasts and big legs.
Her ass was pow!Copy !req
80. Ghetto booty.Copy !req
81. So I knew she liked me 'cause we locked eyes.Copy !req
82. So I started to get into
my Mac Daddy Denzel mode, you know?Copy !req
83. I fixed my eyebrows,
make sure they were straight.Copy !req
84. Fixed my hair, make sure
it was slick and greasy.Copy !req
85. - Make sure my breath didn't stink...
- Get to the fuckin' part!Copy !req
86. So anyway...Copy !req
87. I went over her house
one Sunday morning.Copy !req
88. Her moms had just gone to church.Copy !req
89. We had the place all to ourself.Copy !req
90. So we got to kissin', lickin', slobbin'.Copy !req
91. You know, doin' the wild thing.Copy !req
92. When we got up there, it was like heaven.Copy !req
93. Better than my wildest fantasies.Copy !req
94. Well, apparently,
her moms must have forgot her purseCopy !req
95. 'cause she came back home.Copy !req
96. I guess she could smell the sex in the air.Copy !req
97. I got a surprise for you.Copy !req
98. Then things really got freaky.Copy !req
99. Before I knew it, the door burst open
and there was her momma.Copy !req
100. Hold him down, baby! Let Mama have him!Copy !req
101. So I grabbed my things and got outta there.Copy !req
102. - I sure do hope you got her number.
- The girl?Copy !req
103. No, her mama. She the freak.Copy !req
104. - Don't go up too high in the back.
- Don't worry.Copy !req
105. We all done. There we go.Copy !req
106. I got somethin' to make the girls
think you're smellin' good.Copy !req
107. All hooked up, partner. Give me my $13.Copy !req
108. Give it up! It's a jack move, fool!Copy !req
109. Just don't shoot.Copy !req
110. Come back here with my truck!
Give me that truck back!Copy !req
111. Man, you got any spare change?Copy !req
112. Sorry, bro, I'm all out, man.Copy !req
113. Man, I got these cheeseburgers, man.Copy !req
114. - I don't want any cheeseburgers.
- Please, man.Copy !req
115. - I'll suck your dick.
- Ew!Copy !req
116. Get outta here, man! Get outta here!Copy !req
117. It hurt me to wake up and see
my beautiful black people suffer.Copy !req
118. Victimised by the oppressive,
harsh realities of the hood.Copy !req
119. I guess even though we were free,
we were still slaves.Copy !req
120. In the mind.Copy !req
121. Message!Copy !req
122. Luckily, I wasn't alone here in the hood.Copy !req
123. My cousin Loc Dog lived across the street.Copy !req
124. Loc Dog was America's worst nightmare.Copy !req
125. Raised with three generations of
hopelessness, poverty and profanity.Copy !req
126. Loc Dog, turn that loud-ass
motherfuckin' music down.Copy !req
127. You wakin' up the babies, motherfucker.Copy !req
128. This still my house, motherfucker.Copy !req
129. Who the fuck is that on my porch?Copy !req
130. - Hey, Miss Dog.
- Hey, Ashtray.Copy !req
131. You come to stay with your daddy for good?Copy !req
132. Yeah.Copy !req
133. Come on in.Copy !req
134. Tell your motherfuckin' daddy I say hello.Copy !req
135. Yeah.Copy !req
136. Mmm.Copy !req
137. Mmm!Copy !req
138. Do me a favour. Pass me that shit over there.Copy !req
139. Hey!Copy !req
140. - Care for a little soup?
- No, thanks. I'm cool.Copy !req
141. Is Loc Dog here?Copy !req
142. That lazy motherfucker's there doin' nothin'.Copy !req
143. - See you later.
- All right, then.Copy !req
144. Hey, Grandma.Copy !req
145. Ashtray, you little bitch-ass motherfucker.Copy !req
146. Come over here and give your grandma a hug.Copy !req
147. That's my nigger.Copy !req
148. You been wearin' them jimmy hats
like Grandma gave you?Copy !req
149. Yes, ma'am. How are you?Copy !req
150. My old stinky ass is fine.Copy !req
151. Except for my arthritis in my trigger finger.Copy !req
152. - But I can still stick and move.
- I bet you can.Copy !req
153. The beatin' the police give me
didn't slow me down a bit.Copy !req
154. Come on, motherfucker,Copy !req
155. give me your best shot.Copy !req
156. Come on, Grandma.
I don't wanna do that.Copy !req
157. - Come on, nigger.
- Grandma, I don't wanna do that.Copy !req
158. Damn, them fake teeth are hard.Copy !req
159. BYE-bye.Copy !req
160. You still hit like a bitch, motherfucker.Copy !req
161. Loc Dog was gonna teach me to survive
in the hood, even if it killed me.Copy !req
162. Tray, is that you?Copy !req
163. You better start announcin' yourself
before you get smoked up, nigger.Copy !req
164. You know that chronic
make me paranoid, baby.Copy !req
165. Come here, you old fool dog mark-ass.
Give me some love.Copy !req
166. - What's up, cuz?
- What's up?Copy !req
167. That's enough love.
I don't play no sentimental shit. Come in.Copy !req
168. Quick fashion question.Copy !req
169. Should I wear this Tec 9 with the high tops?Copy !req
170. Or should I wear this UZI with my low tops?Copy !req
171. I'll just wear these, then.Copy !req
172. Tray, scoot over. Rumour has it
your bitch-ass is in town for good.Copy !req
173. Yeah, man.
Moms says it's time for me to become a man.Copy !req
174. Nigger, my mom said the same shit.
Sweatin' me.Copy !req
175. Yeah, man. I don't care, though.Copy !req
176. I told her, I don't wanna be on
welfare my whole life, you know.Copy !req
177. I got bigger and better plans.Copy !req
178. I figure I'll get myself a job
at the post office or a bank.Copy !req
179. - That's all good.
- Work my way up to manager.Copy !req
180. We need more black people like this.Copy !req
181. Learn the system.Copy !req
182. Then I'll rob that motherfucker blind.Copy !req
183. Break all yourselves!Copy !req
184. Whatever happened to your pops, anyway?Copy !req
185. That old mark-ass nigger ran out
on us like a biz-nitch.Copy !req
186. You know, it's...Copy !req
187. It was kinda tough...Copy !req
188. Caught up in the hood without...Copy !req
189. Without a positive male role model
to look up to.Copy !req
190. Message!Copy !req
191. Nigger, come on. Let's get Preach
and Crazy Legs and go to this picnic.Copy !req
192. Come on.Copy !req
193. This is some good shit.Copy !req
194. Get your black ass back by Friday.
The social worker's comin'.Copy !req
195. - I'm still claimin' your ass.
- Quit sweatin' me. Shoot.Copy !req
196. Grandma, stay off my endo
before I smoke your ass.Copy !req
197. Go fuck yourself, nigger.Copy !req
198. There are no cocaine fields
in the hood.Copy !req
199. There are no gun factories in the hood.Copy !req
200. We're not the ones bringin' drugs,
and guns into the community.Copy !req
201. Don't you see?
That's all a part of the white man's plan.Copy !req
202. We need to have
our own cargo ships, cargo planes.Copy !req
203. That's why shit costs so much money.Copy !req
204. If he's charging 250,Copy !req
205. damn it, I gotta charge you 500.Copy !req
206. I would like to take a plane
from Bogoté, Colombia,Copy !req
207. and get off on Crenshaw.Copy !req
208. Wouldn't you, sister?Copy !req
209. We need to subjugate our people
without the help of the white devil.Copy !req
210. We need to destroy ourselves!Copy !req
211. Preach was a former
gang member turned activist.Copy !req
212. But now, he's just plain confused.Copy !req
213. - Preach, what up, nigger?
- Stop ea yin' "nigger."Copy !req
214. It's terms like the word "nigger"
that the white man usesCopy !req
215. to take away the self-esteem of another race.Copy !req
216. Word.Copy !req
217. Remind me to pick my laundry upCopy !req
218. from that chink motherfucker up the street.Copy !req
219. Crazy Legs used to be
the best dancer in the hood.Copy !req
220. Now he's paralysed
from the waist down after a drive-by.Copy !req
221. What's up, Crazy?Copy !req
222. What's up, y'all? I'll be right there, all right?Copy !req
223. Whoo!Copy !req
224. That's the way to start the day.
How you doin'?Copy !req
225. - My little pigmy brother.
- All right, African brother.Copy !req
226. Loc Dog didn't have
the fl yest ride in the hood,Copy !req
227. but it was reliable in rain, sleet or snow.Copy !req
228. Hey, you guys-Copy !req
229. - Y'all wanna see a dead body?
- Yeah.Copy !req
230. Come on.Copy !req
231. I told you he was dead.Copy !req
232. Man, he stinks.Copy !req
233. What's up, baby boy?Copy !req
234. Damn!Copy !req
235. I ain't tight. If you can't get nothin' here,
you gonna die a virgin.Copy !req
236. Hey, y'all. Look at them freaks
gettin' busy on the dance floor.Copy !req
237. There's all kinds of bitches up in here.Copy !req
238. What did I tell you about
disrespectin' my Nubian princesses?Copy !req
239. Quit disrespect... You need...Copy !req
240. Oh, my God.
The mother of Mecca is right here before me.Copy !req
241. Do my eyes not deceive me
or am I lookin' at the goddess Isis?Copy !req
242. Can you, uh... Can you do me a favour,
my brown-skinned angel?Copy !req
243. Can you tap that white girl for me?Copy !req
244. My milk of magnesia.Copy !req
245. After the Devil made you, he broke the mould.Copy !req
246. Maybe you and I could make
a little jungle fever?Copy !req
247. This one to all my dead homies,
you know what I'm ea yin'?Copy !req
248. TRAY". I remember the first time I saw Dashiki.Copy !req
249. She was fine enough to be
Jet Beauty of the Week.Copy !req
250. - Yo, Loc, come here.
- Hey, what's up?Copy !req
251. - What's up, nigger?
- Yo, man. Who's this fine girl?Copy !req
252. Nigger, that's Dashiki.Copy !req
253. Stay away from her.
Everybody in the hood's been up in her.Copy !req
254. She got more kids than Miss Wayans.Copy !req
255. Anyway, that's Toothpick's ex-girl.
You don't want his old scraps.Copy !req
256. Toothpick got used to bein' in jail.Copy !req
257. So much so that even on the outside,
he lived like he was on the inside.Copy !req
258. Give me that knife.Copy !req
259. Leave it down. Leave it down.Copy !req
260. Bone check, homie. Bone check!Copy !req
261. $5 a hand, nigger. $5. Go Fish.Copy !req
262. What are they in for, man?Copy !req
263. $5, buster.Copy !req
264. Oh, I got that.Copy !req
265. Here.Copy !req
266. Here we go.Copy !req
267. What?Copy !req
268. Oh, my money ain't good?Copy !req
269. Do you know how many crumb cakes
I can get for them?Copy !req
270. How many chocolate milks?
How many bars of soap?Copy !req
271. Deal my cards, nigger. Hurry up!Copy !req
272. - Deal, deal, deal!
- All right, nigger.Copy !req
273. Hello.Copy !req
274. - She wants me.
- Why waste your time with that?Copy !req
275. We need you someone with some class,
someone you could take home.Copy !req
276. Get yourself a real woman.Copy !req
277. Real woman.Copy !req
278. - You see that bitch over there?
- I see her.Copy !req
279. Now, that's a lady.Copy !req
280. I bet you I could get her number.Copy !req
281. - You ain't gettin' nobody's number.
- Fool. Watch.Copy !req
282. Hey, sweetheart.Copy !req
283. Break yourself!
Give me your goddamn number! Come on!Copy !req
284. Hurry up! Come on!Copy !req
285. Cool, cool, cool.Copy !req
286. I'll give you a call about 5:00, aight?
I said aight?Copy !req
287. Yeah.Copy !req
288. All right, sweetheart. Take care.Copy !req
289. I told you I'd get the number.Copy !req
290. You don't think you was just
gonna come over hereCopy !req
291. and pull that gun out on me,
and then leave me, did you? Huh?Copy !req
292. You better recognise, motherfucker!Copy !req
293. - Oh, you're so sexy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
294. What's your name?Copy !req
295. What's that short for?Copy !req
296. The gun my mama used to shoot my daddy.Copy !req
297. Oh, that is so beautiful.Copy !req
298. You wanna dance, A.K.?Copy !req
299. - Yeah, you know...
- At the count of three, guns down, all right?Copy !req
300. - Okay.
- One...Copy !req
301. Two... Three!Copy !req
302. All right, all right.
Not the jewels, not the jewels.Copy !req
303. All right, ready?Copy !req
304. One, two...Copy !req
305. Three!Copy !req
306. All right, fuck it. Let's just dance.Copy !req
307. I ain't putting my gun down.Copy !req
308. Come on.Copy !req
309. Hey, beautiful.Copy !req
310. Please.Copy !req
311. - Hey, mister?
- What's up?Copy !req
312. Are you tr yin' to get some from my mama?Copy !req
313. Snap. Nah, little man.Copy !req
314. Give me a dollar and I'll leave you alone.Copy !req
315. Cute little kid.
By the way, my name is Ashtray.Copy !req
316. My name is Dashiki.
That's Swahili for doggy-style.Copy !req
317. - That's pretty.
- Those are my kids.Copy !req
318. Hello, everybody.Copy !req
319. Now, children, what do you say
when you meet a nice man?Copy !req
320. Are you my daddy?Copy !req
321. All I know is, I'd really like to take you out.Copy !req
322. Oh, you and your seven kids.Copy !req
323. Sounds nice, but I'm leavin' the hood
in a couple of days.Copy !req
324. Really? Man, I can't wait for the day
I can move out of the hood.Copy !req
325. Well, look, I know I just met you,
but you welcome to come along.Copy !req
326. I need somebody to help me change diapers.Copy !req
327. Is that it? Diapers? I used to change
my father's diapers all the time.Copy !req
328. Listen...Copy !req
329. You think about it, okay?Copy !req
330. And if you're serious, let me know.Copy !req
331. Ain't that Dashiki kissin' that fool, man?Copy !req
332. Man. Right there.Copy !req
333. Yeah. Oh, damn, man!Copy !req
334. I should go shank that fool right now!Copy !req
335. Toothpick, you trippin', man.Copy !req
336. Nigger, that's old news.
Think about it, nigger.Copy !req
337. You been in jail five years now.Copy !req
338. Man, it's only been 1,825 days,
six hours and 13 minutes.Copy !req
339. - She could've waited!
- I'm ea yin' why go back to jail?Copy !req
340. Man, I ain't worried about jail.
You sound like a bitch.Copy !req
341. - Bitch!
- I ain't worried about jail.Copy !req
342. Shit. Now, I don't give a damn
about goin' to jail!Copy !req
343. - You can take me to jail!
- Take me to jail!Copy !req
344. - Lock me up!
- Lock me up!Copy !req
345. - Throw away the key!
- Throw away the key!Copy !req
346. I ain't afraid to fuck somebody in his ass!Copy !req
347. - This fool is trippin'.
- I'm outta here.Copy !req
348. You're on your own there, bro.Copy !req
349. Come on, man.
Y'all ain't never been in a shower with a man,Copy !req
350. and you see the suds roll down
the crack of his ass,Copy !req
351. and you just...Copy !req
352. Be turned...Copy !req
353. I'm foolin' y'all now! Shit.Copy !req
354. I was foolin' y'all! Those was jokes!Copy !req
355. Whoo!Copy !req
356. Fuck this. I'm goin'.Copy !req
357. I don't usually be kissin' like that
when I first meet someone,Copy !req
358. but you special...Copy !req
359. Uh...Copy !req
360. - Cigarette?
- Ashtray.Copy !req
361. Yeah.Copy !req
362. Come on, kids.Copy !req
363. Stupid. You just kissed
every nigger at the party.Copy !req
364. Now, come on.
I gotta go to the store and get more forties.Copy !req
365. All right.Copy !req
366. Now, that there is somethin' special.Copy !req
367. Why you make noise about white men,
then go date white women?Copy !req
368. No, you see, I'm just tr yin' to do to white girlsCopy !req
369. what the white man's been doin'
to us for 400 years!Copy !req
370. - Yeah, what's that?
- Fuck 'em.Copy !req
371. - Amy-Jo!
- Oh, you cold.Copy !req
372. He cold.Copy !req
373. Yeah, yeah. Forties and 9s.
That's my favourite store.Copy !req
374. I'm goin' in here to get me
a malt liquor Slurpee.Copy !req
375. You get me some barbecue potato chips.Copy !req
376. - Could I keep the change?
- Hell, no. That's a $10 food stamp.Copy !req
377. - Bring back my change.
- Cheapskate.Copy !req
378. What's up now, you pretty punk chick?Copy !req
379. What's up? We got a problem?Copy !req
380. I said, do we have a problem?Copy !req
381. We got a problem, partner, right here.Copy !req
382. Right there.Copy !req
383. We'll play a game.Copy !req
384. I said,Copy !req
385. do we have a problem?Copy !req
386. Get your stank asses outta here
before I cause a nuclear holocaust.Copy !req
387. Let's go, let's go, fool! Come on!Copy !req
388. It'll be Hiroshima and Nigga-saki.Copy !req
389. - Let's go! Let's go!
- That's right. Get on outta here!Copy !req
390. And don't come back, punk!Copy !req
391. Tray, bring your simple behind on!Copy !req
392. Hello?Copy !req
393. - Yo, man, you page me?
- You ready to be out?Copy !req
394. - Yeah, let's move.
- All right.Copy !req
395. Nigger.Copy !req
396. I go and check them.Copy !req
397. Hurry up and buy.Copy !req
398. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
399. Hurry up and buy!Copy !req
400. Break yourself!Copy !req
401. Hey, hey! Hey, hey!Copy !req
402. You dropped something.Copy !req
403. Break yourself, fool!Copy !req
404. Give me my money back.Copy !req
405. Candy bars.Copy !req
406. Hey, Miss Lady Bitch. Hey! I'm talkin' to you!Copy !req
407. How much for this candy bar?Copy !req
408. - $5.
- What?Copy !req
409. You better give me sucky-sucky
with that for $5. Some love me long time.Copy !req
410. You don't like, you don't buy.Copy !req
411. Just charge us for the chips
and the ice cream. Shit.Copy !req
412. Let's go before I Loc up on these people.Copy !req
413. Quit lickin' that ice cream
before I put you on the corner!Copy !req
414. I feel sorry for your mother.Copy !req
415. What you say about my mama?Copy !req
416. I don't want trouble. Just go.
Go home! Don't come back!Copy !req
417. What you say about my mama?
Break yourself!Copy !req
418. No!Copy !req
419. You break, you buy! Soda, $5!Copy !req
420. Loo, what are you doin', man'? Come on!Copy !req
421. Pickles! $10! Come on! Give me money!
Give me money right now!Copy !req
422. Shirt! $19.95! On sale. Come on!Copy !req
423. Loc, are you crazy? What the hell did you do?Copy !req
424. Fool, wasn't me! I ain't hurt nobody!Copy !req
425. Catch.Copy !req
426. The Man.Copy !req
427. Have a nice day. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
428. He's good.Copy !req
429. Come on, Tray. Let's get outta here.Copy !req
430. Check out that six-four.Copy !req
431. What up, nigger?Copy !req
432. - Oh, damn. What up, Grandma?
- Tell your daddy to page me.Copy !req
433. All right. All right, player, stay up.Copy !req
434. Peace.Copy !req
435. Now, I realise that every now and againCopy !req
436. some of you women folk, you get hot,Copy !req
437. you get bothered. And every now
and again you get hot and bothered.Copy !req
438. Well, what I want you to do
when you get that hot,Copy !req
439. and you need a little relief,Copy !req
440. I want you to, I want you to call me.Copy !req
441. - Don't ask no questions.
- Good to see you, Gloria.Copy !req
442. Good to see you, too, Miss Williams.Copy !req
443. Tired heifer.Copy !req
444. his only son. Didn't he do it?Copy !req
445. - Abraham didn't ask no questions.
- Thank you, baby.Copy !req
446. And that's what God expects from His sheep!Copy !req
447. Here at the Greater Ebenezer
New Revival Tree Of LifeCopy !req
448. institutional Double Rock
On The Side Of The Road To JerichoCopy !req
449. Missionary Baptist Church Of Zion!Copy !req
450. When I say Mount Calvary,
y'all gonna hear me!Copy !req
451. Preach on, Reverend!Copy !req
452. - Ain't that the truth!
- God expects youCopy !req
453. to do what the Lord wants you to do.Copy !req
454. Like those of you who realiseCopy !req
455. that the Lord wants you
to give generously to His church.Copy !req
456. - Amen!
- Don't ask no questions.Copy !req
457. Don't ask how come...Copy !req
458. Or why come the pastor
have to have him a nice house.Copy !req
459. Or why come the pastor got to have a nice car.Copy !req
460. Don't ask! I said don't ask!Copy !req
461. I said don't askCopy !req
462. no questions!Copy !req
463. Just give the money.Copy !req
464. Amen! I got $100 right here.Copy !req
465. Brother Deacon, get the collection
plate round on that side.Copy !req
466. Nigga, get it around on that side.Copy !req
467. We will now have a B selection from the choir.Copy !req
468. I feel the spirit! Wow!Copy !req
469. Watch yourself now, Sister Williams.Copy !req
470. Ain't that the truth!Copy !req
471. Praise the Lord!Copy !req
472. Malik, how does it feel,
your first day at college?Copy !req
473. It ain't nothin'. You'll be there next year.Copy !req
474. I'm thinkin' about goin' away
to college myself.Copy !req
475. Thank you, brother. Thank you very much.Copy !req
476. Loc, stop clownin' before you end up
like that brother back there.Copy !req
477. - There you go, brother.
- Thank you.Copy !req
478. I'm gonna get me my G-O-B. A job.Copy !req
479. They're hirin' at BM Motors, Tray.
Come with me.Copy !req
480. Not today. I gotta take my driver's test.Copy !req
481. This is what fresh air smells like.Copy !req
482. You livin' it, man.Copy !req
483. Aight, man.Copy !req
484. Stay up.Copy !req
485. Aight, man.Copy !req
486. Aight. That's enough
of all that sentimental stuff.Copy !req
487. Yo, Malik. Don't forget about us, baby.Copy !req
488. One love, baby.Copy !req
489. Malik is the first one in the hood
to go to college.Copy !req
490. Finally, someone from the hood
is gonna make it.Copy !req
491. Yeah, there is hope.Copy !req
492. Hello, I'm Mr Walker.
I'm your examiner for today.Copy !req
493. Put on your seat belt, check your mirrors.
Let's begin.Copy !req
494. Make a right, right there.Copy !req
495. And make another left here.Copy !req
496. Park right there.Copy !req
497. Wait here.Copy !req
498. Come back here! Call the police!Copy !req
499. Drive, motherfucker! Drive!Copy !req
500. It was nice meeting you. We'll be in touch.Copy !req
501. My God.Copy !req
502. Hey.Copy !req
503. Yes, may I help you?Copy !req
504. Yeah, I heard y'all niggers is hirin'.
What's up?Copy !req
505. Oh, yes.
Why don't you fill out this application?Copy !req
506. Makin' me write and shit.Copy !req
507. If I was white,
you wouldn't be makin' me write.Copy !req
508. Well, actually,
originally I'm from the East Coast.Copy !req
509. But after my Masters,
I thought I'd take a break.Copy !req
510. So here I am.Copy !req
511. I was tired of living off of Daddy.Copy !req
512. Age, 19.Copy !req
513. Height, six deuce, baby.Copy !req
514. Father's name? I don't know.Copy !req
515. Sex. Hell yeah, nigger.Copy !req
516. Salary desired.Copy !req
517. $3 million. Cash.Copy !req
518. You know, being an Ivy Leaguer
can be such a leg up.Copy !req
519. - I spent five years at Harvard.
- Really?Copy !req
520. I just spent six months at County.Copy !req
521. Anybody ever try and take your manhood?Copy !req
522. Then he sees the warden comin',
so he hides you.Copy !req
523. But you still got that plunger in your ass.Copy !req
524. So you or yin'. Don't you hate that?Copy !req
525. - Let's go. He's crazy!
- Where you goin'?Copy !req
526. - Mr Loc Dog?
- That's me.Copy !req
527. - You're next.
- Mr Loc Dog.Copy !req
528. What's up, baby?Copy !req
529. Energy. Eager man. Yes, I like that.Copy !req
530. Right this way.Copy !req
531. Let me just move this.Copy !req
532. So let me see. Very interesting.Copy !req
533. Your hobbies are drinking, smoking weed,
and "all types of ill shit."Copy !req
534. - Do you drive an automobile?
- With or without the boot?Copy !req
535. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
536. Well, congratulations. You got yourself a job.Copy !req
537. Right on, huh?Copy !req
538. Where the seat belts at?Copy !req
539. Don't worry. They won't be necessary.Copy !req
540. How you work this radio?Copy !req
541. Whoo!Copy !req
542. One more time!Copy !req
543. Mmm, boy. Mmm. Yeah.Copy !req
544. I told you, you ain't got no game for me, boy.Copy !req
545. Now I'm gonna wear you out, you little punk.Copy !req
546. - What's that?
- My gat, fool.Copy !req
547. Where you learn how to use a gun?Copy !req
548. Cartoons and hood movies.Copy !req
549. Doo Rag, don't you know that
you and I are an endangered species?Copy !req
550. - Why? Because we're black males?
- No!Copy !req
551. Because the rappers
take the good actin' jobs!Copy !req
552. Listen, Doo Rag,
having a gun doesn't give you any power.Copy !req
553. - You know where real power is?
- In the bullets!Copy !req
554. No! In the books!Copy !req
555. See...Copy !req
556. Doo Rag, your mind...Copy !req
557. It is like a gun.Copy !req
558. And you wanna load it up with little...Copy !req
559. ltty, bittyCopy !req
560. bullets of knowledge.Copy !req
561. Message!Copy !req
562. Hey. What are you doin'?Copy !req
563. Writing a poem.Copy !req
564. My poetry helps me escape the harsh
realities of livin' in the hood.Copy !req
565. Ah, that's deep.Copy !req
566. Hey, you wanna read me one?Copy !req
567. Okay.Copy !req
568. Let me see.Copy !req
569. Love is by far the mostCopy !req
570. precious thing on earth.Copy !req
571. Like a rose's fragrance or a child's birth.Copy !req
572. Love me and leave me.Copy !req
573. That's the story of my life.Copy !req
574. But it won't happen again, see.Copy !req
575. Since I bought a butcher's knife.Copy !req
576. Yeah, see, the next man who loves me
and leaves me so quick, mmm-hmm,Copy !req
577. I'm gonna cut off his balls
and chop off his dick.Copy !req
578. I'm gonna shoot that motherfucker.Copy !req
579. I'm gonna stab that motherfucker
for fuckin' with me.Copy !req
580. I'm gonna run him over with my car.Copy !req
581. He fuckin' with the wrong woman.Copy !req
582. I will kill that motherfucker.Copy !req
583. Baby, baby, baby-Copy !req
584. - I get the point. It was...
- You like it?Copy !req
585. That was good.Copy !req
586. It touched me in a really special place.Copy !req
587. You wait right here.Copy !req
588. I sure will.Copy !req
589. Psst.Copy !req
590. Dashiki was far more
sexually experienced than I was.Copy !req
591. She taught me all about foreplay.Copy !req
592. Until then, I ain't never done foreplay before.Copy !req
593. But then again, who needs foreplay
when you're jackin' off?Copy !req
594. Are you thirsty?Copy !req
595. Nah, fool! That's the baby's lunch.Copy !req
596. Damn, girl, you're so tight!Copy !req
597. Wrong hole, fool.Copy !req
598. On. My bad.Copy !req
599. TRAY". I couldn't believe this was happening.Copy !req
600. I was losing my virginity
to the woman of my dreams.Copy !req
601. Talk dirty to me.Copy !req
602. I'm comin'!Copy !req
603. What did you say?Copy !req
604. Never mind.Copy !req
605. I'll tell you when I wake up.Copy !req
606. Ashtray, wake up.Copy !req
607. - What's up, baby?
- I need to tell you something.Copy !req
608. What's up?Copy !req
609. - I'm pregnant.
- Already?Copy !req
610. Are you sure?Copy !req
611. I got seven kids. I know what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
612. Dashiki, I'm not ready
to be no father right now.Copy !req
613. So you man enough to come up in me,Copy !req
614. but you ain't man enough
to take care of what comes out,Copy !req
615. get my hair done,
pay my rent and get me a new car?Copy !req
616. You know what?Copy !req
617. You ain't nothin' but a little boy.Copy !req
618. It ain't all about the size of the boat.Copy !req
619. It's the motion in the ocean.Copy !req
620. That's not what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
621. As a matter of fact, get out!Copy !req
622. Get out of my bed! Get out of my house!Copy !req
623. And take your shit with you.Copy !req
624. - Why you trippin'?
- I don't wanna see you no more!Copy !req
625. - I don't wanna talk to you!
- Wait!Copy !req
626. - Take your shit!
- Oh, girl, come on. This ain't mine.Copy !req
627. Get out of my house!Copy !req
628. Get out!Copy !req
629. Order up!Copy !req
630. Yo, Loc, man. Dashiki's pregnant.Copy !req
631. Dashiki was born pregnant. What else is new?Copy !req
632. What else is new? It's mine.Copy !req
633. Whoo!Copy !req
634. - Thank you, Lord.
- Are you sure?Copy !req
635. She said I was the only one she'd
been with in the past 20 minutes.Copy !req
636. Damn.Copy !req
637. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
638. And you believed her?Copy !req
639. Here you go, sucker. I mean, brother.Copy !req
640. That'll be $10.38.Copy !req
641. Wash them filthy hands.Copy !req
642. So what you gonna do now, Tray?Copy !req
643. I don't know.
I might move out of the hood with her.Copy !req
644. What?Copy !req
645. Oh, fool!Copy !req
646. Look here, let me tell you somethin', Tray.Copy !req
647. You could take Dashiki out of the hood,Copy !req
648. but you can't take the hood niggers
out of Dashiki. Mmm?Copy !req
649. - Damn! Five-O.
- Damn!Copy !req
650. You there! Get out of the truck
and put your hands in the air.Copy !req
651. Stand on one leg.Copy !req
652. With the tip of your finger,
touch the tip of your nose.Copy !req
653. Now in a circular motion,
rub your stomach and pat your headCopy !req
654. while saying, "Rubber baby buggy bumper."Copy !req
655. Rubber baby buggy bumper.Copy !req
656. Strike a pose! Now Vogue!Copy !req
657. Now walk slowly toward the car.Copy !req
658. We didn't even do nothin'.Copy !req
659. What?Copy !req
660. You think you're tough!Copy !req
661. You don't look so tough now, little nigger.Copy !req
662. I hate you black bastards. You stink!Copy !req
663. I hate your black skin!Copy !req
664. I hate your black pants!Copy !req
665. I hate black pepper!Copy !req
666. I hate black keys on the piano!Copy !req
667. I hate my gums, 'cause they black!Copy !req
668. I hate Whoopi Goldberg's lips!Copy !req
669. I hate the back of Forest Whitaker's neck!Copy !req
670. And most of all,
I hate that black-ass Wesley Snipes.Copy !req
671. Move it!Copy !req
672. - Come on.
- Let's go.Copy !req
673. We got arrested for being black
on a Friday night.Copy !req
674. Don't try anything, all right?Copy !req
675. It was a misdemeanour,
so I thought we'd be out right away.Copy !req
676. Right there. Right there!Copy !req
677. - There you go!
- Get him. Get him. Get him!Copy !req
678. Get him! Get him! Yeah!Copy !req
679. All right, get in there.Copy !req
680. - What's up, young blood?
- What's up?Copy !req
681. Swine, my brother?Copy !req
682. - No, thanks.
- Now let me tell you somethin'.Copy !req
683. If you hit a man,Copy !req
684. in time, his wounds will heal.Copy !req
685. And if you steal from a man,Copy !req
686. you can replace what you steal.Copy !req
687. And always cross in the green!
Never in between.Copy !req
688. Because the honourable
Elijah Muhammad AliCopy !req
689. floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee!Copy !req
690. Thinkin' about spendin' another
minute with Farra-convictCopy !req
691. made me never want to do time again.Copy !req
692. BOY, am I happy to see you, man!Copy !req
693. Always remember, my brother,Copy !req
694. one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.Copy !req
695. Knick knack paddy whack,
give the dog a bone.Copy !req
696. Two thousand zero zero party, oops!
Outta time!Copy !req
697. My bacon's smellin' fine.Copy !req
698. Time to play a little Po'nopoly.Copy !req
699. I get to be the Hyundai.Copy !req
700. Boo-ya! 11.Copy !req
701. Eleven. Yeah, baby. I landed on Crenshaw.Copy !req
702. I'm putting up shoppin'
centres on my property.Copy !req
703. You can't, brother. That's the Red Line districtCopy !req
704. and whitey won't let ya do that.Copy !req
705. Then I'll put liquor stores on every corner.Copy !req
706. Yeah, smart thinking.Copy !req
707. My turn, here we go. Come on, baby.Copy !req
708. Magic leg, give me some love.Copy !req
709. Boo-ya! 11.Copy !req
710. - Eleven.
- No chance.Copy !req
711. "An all white jury has just handed down
a racially biased verdict.Copy !req
712. "You get mad
and burn down all your property."Copy !req
713. Damn!Copy !req
714. You gotta start all over.Copy !req
715. Okay, it's my turn I believe.Copy !req
716. Nine times to the head.
One, two and that equals nine.Copy !req
717. Strong beach to all my niggers in the strong.Copy !req
718. That's my property,
and I got two crack houses on there!Copy !req
719. Pay me. You owe me all the money.Copy !req
720. Break yourself, nigger!Copy !req
721. Give me them dice.Copy !req
722. Oh, two. Move me.Copy !req
723. Two, community service.Copy !req
724. "You just been pulled out your car
and severely beaten by the LAPD.Copy !req
725. "The jury awards you $6.2 million.Copy !req
726. "But because you have less than
a high school education,Copy !req
727. "the lawyers rip you offCopy !req
728. "and you wind up with $2.50."Copy !req
729. - That's what you get taking all my money.
- Let be up outta here. I won.Copy !req
730. How'd you win? We just... I'm on Long Beach.Copy !req
731. This brother's still here
on community service.Copy !req
732. But if you feel like the game is over
then we can leave.Copy !req
733. All right.Copy !req
734. Crazy Legs, you got a problem with that?Copy !req
735. No, you the winner, hands down.Copy !req
736. Okay. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
737. - What's up, Toothpick?
- What's up?Copy !req
738. All ready to go jump this fool in?Copy !req
739. Let's do this, Al Dog.Copy !req
740. - What's up, homie? Ready to do this?
- Yeah, man, I'm ready.Copy !req
741. - What's up?
- What's up?Copy !req
742. You've been hangin'
with the homies for a while.Copy !req
743. It's about time we jumped your punk ass in.Copy !req
744. In this world, if you can't swim...Copy !req
745. you bound to draz-own!Copy !req
746. - And if you fall...
- ... you better pick your punk ass up!Copy !req
747. And the rest of y'all,Copy !req
748. don't cut him no slack!Copy !req
749. Y'all fools get busy.Copy !req
750. Let's go. Work him, Dog, work him.Copy !req
751. We're gonna have to play
Po'nopoly again sometime.Copy !req
752. Enough. You ain't winnin' nothin', anyway.Copy !req
753. And the money that you do win,
I'll jack you for it.Copy !req
754. Hey! Which one of y'all's Ashtray?Copy !req
755. What's up? Heard you got my boy
Toothpick's girlfriend pregnant?Copy !req
756. - Me?
- Yeah, you.Copy !req
757. Um...Copy !req
758. - Hey, brother, man...
- What's up?Copy !req
759. - I don't want no trouble, man.
- You must not have heard me!Copy !req
760. Tray, let me handle this like a gentleman.Copy !req
761. My man, my man say he don't want no trouble.Copy !req
762. But I do! Come here, you punk!Copy !req
763. Get the head! Come on! Move your body!Copy !req
764. - Stay right there! Stay there!
- We shouldn't...Copy !req
765. Nice execution! I'm gonna give that a 8.Copy !req
766. Yeah, make him cripple!
Make him cripple like me! Stomp him! Yeah.Copy !req
767. After stomping one of Toothpick's boys,Copy !req
768. we knew we had to get some back-up.Copy !req
769. So we went to our homie Old School's house.Copy !req
770. Are you sure this guy's gonna have our back?Copy !req
771. Hey, Tray, let me tell you something
about Old School, all right?Copy !req
772. Old School is
the most dangerous OG on the set.Copy !req
773. Let me tell you young punks somethin'.Copy !req
774. I'm been down on this hood a long time.
I seen a lot of things.Copy !req
775. I survived the Watts Riots Gang Wars,
and you know how I did it?Copy !req
776. How?Copy !req
777. By standin' my ground
with my homies watching my back.Copy !req
778. Word!Copy !req
779. - So don't let nobody mess with your set!
- Yeah!Copy !req
780. And like me,
don't let nobody give you no shit!Copy !req
781. Yeah, Old School!Copy !req
782. Bartholomew!Copy !req
783. Bartholomew!Copy !req
784. - Come here, boy!
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
785. What did you say, boy?Copy !req
786. I said, "Oh, shoot", Ma. Shoot.Copy !req
787. Didn't I tell you to clean your room?Copy !req
788. Oh, Ma, come on. The gang needs me.
I'm their leader.Copy !req
789. Gang?Copy !req
790. Get in there and clean that room
in the next 10 minutesCopy !req
791. or else you gonna be walkin'
down the street with three shoes,Copy !req
792. two on your feet and one in your ass, sucker.Copy !req
793. Thank you, Mama.Copy !req
794. Here, so you gonna roll with us?Copy !req
795. - I can't.
- Why not?Copy !req
796. Oh, the police is after you, huh?Copy !req
797. Nah. I'm on punishment.
My mom says I can't leave the porch.Copy !req
798. Oh!Copy !req
799. Come on, let's hold the porch down!Copy !req
800. Say, that's a nice walker, lady.
Cough it up! Turn around! Snap!Copy !req
801. Give it up!Copy !req
802. Man, I need to get out of this place.Copy !req
803. What you talkin' about? Leave the hood?Copy !req
804. This is home sweet home.Copy !req
805. I love the smell of gun smoke in the morning.Copy !req
806. Yo, Preach, at least Ashtray got a dream.Copy !req
807. That's more than most homies in the hood.Copy !req
808. Why, Little Foots, you got a dream?Copy !req
809. Yeah. I got a dream.Copy !req
810. Hey, Loc, I hope you ain't sellin'
out on me with no jive-ass dream.Copy !req
811. Oh, hell, no.
You know I ain't got no self-esteem.Copy !req
812. I ain't gonna grow up to be shit. Just like you.Copy !req
813. White people in the house.
White people, where y'all at?Copy !req
814. Oh, there you go.Copy !req
815. You gotta be fucking the bitch, right?Copy !req
816. And the bitch got three, four kids.Copy !req
817. You know the pussy's big,
you know, like a room.Copy !req
818. You can get up in that bitch's pussy
like Warp Factor 5 and shit.Copy !req
819. You see a couple of homies up in thereCopy !req
820. and this is what you do.Copy !req
821. See something else up in there, mother.Copy !req
822. Oh, Shit!Copy !req
823. Hey, baby, we having a boy.Copy !req
824. Where are them busters hidin' at?Copy !req
825. - Probably at the trick's house.
- What trick?Copy !req
826. Dashiki, fool.Copy !req
827. I miss makin' love to her.Copy !req
828. Me, too.Copy !req
829. - What you talkin' about?
- I was helpin' you out.Copy !req
830. - Hell you was!
- You was locked up, fool!Copy !req
831. Just give me the book.Copy !req
832. Can you hook me up
with directions to Crenshaw?Copy !req
833. Get your crusty behind away from me!Copy !req
834. Man, I'll suck your dick, man.Copy !req
835. What did you say to me?Copy !req
836. I'll suck your dick, man.Copy !req
837. Oh, man!Copy !req
838. Aight, so what you wanna do
is go to the corner,Copy !req
839. go about three blocks down
and make a right and you're there.Copy !req
840. Old School, what should we do?Copy !req
841. Run like a bitch, fool!Copy !req
842. Mama!Copy !req
843. Let's go!Copy !req
844. I'm hit!Copy !req
845. Yo, Legs! Legs!Copy !req
846. Are you okay, man?
You got hit by the bullets, man?Copy !req
847. No. I got hit by a car.Copy !req
848. Come on, nigger. Let's help him...Copy !req
849. Let's get him in the truck.
Get his baby shoe.Copy !req
850. Aight, nigger, help me out. Come on.Copy !req
851. Why?Copy !req
852. Bring your simple ass, Tray!Copy !req
853. My head! My head!Copy !req
854. J-Nug, are you all right?
Answer me, man! You all right?Copy !req
855. Sister! We need a doctor fast!Copy !req
856. I went to see Jason Lyric this weekend.Copy !req
857. Gee, wasn't he cute?
Did you see his butt, though? It was hairy.Copy !req
858. I know he didn't think that ass-fro was cute!Copy !req
859. We need a doctor right now.Copy !req
860. - I'm gonna have to call you back.
- Right now, sister!Copy !req
861. What I'm gonna need you to do
is fill this form out.Copy !req
862. May I have a pen, please?Copy !req
863. Excuse me.
You know where I could get some water?Copy !req
864. Oh, God.Copy !req
865. Here.Copy !req
866. - Thanks.
- You're number 1,012.Copy !req
867. 1,012.Copy !req
868. Number 213.
Now serving number 213.Copy !req
869. - Damn!
- Damn, I hope I'm next.Copy !req
870. Come on. We're gonna do it.Copy !req
871. Between Crazy Legs
bein' hit in a drive-by,Copy !req
872. the Korean store shootings,Copy !req
873. jail and Dashiki bein' pregnant,
I felt I was about to explode!Copy !req
874. What are you doing?Copy !req
875. Tr yin' to win Best Actor
on the Soul Train Awards.Copy !req
876. Look, Dashiki,Copy !req
877. I'm sorry about last night.Copy !req
878. I thought about it
and I wanna be a father to my child.Copy !req
879. And another thing.Copy !req
880. I also realised how much I love you
and I wanna leave the hood with you.Copy !req
881. But there's something
we need to do before we go.Copy !req
882. Look, I'm takin' the kids
and I'm movin' out of the hood.Copy !req
883. I wanted them
to say goodbye to their daddies.Copy !req
884. Give me the man.Copy !req
885. You're a good brother, Tray. Yeah.Copy !req
886. Me?Copy !req
887. I mean, I've been in jail a long time, T.Copy !req
888. Sometimes, I feel like a caged animal.Copy !req
889. How come you never came to see me, man?Copy !req
890. Nigger, I don't know you.Copy !req
891. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
892. You don't know me. That's right.Copy !req
893. Well, dig this here, Tray.Copy !req
894. Teach my son how to be a man, Tray.Copy !req
895. How to be a man.Copy !req
896. Give me some.Copy !req
897. Jif!Copy !req
898. Hey, man, you got everything?Copy !req
899. Cool.Copy !req
900. I'm gonna get some, right?Copy !req
901. Don't even play me like that. Come on, man.Copy !req
902. What's up, Crazy?Copy !req
903. Hey, brother! How you feelin', man?Copy !req
904. How you doin', brother?Copy !req
905. - Doctor say I ain't gonna walk again.
- Oh, no!Copy !req
906. - It's gonna be all right.
- Hold me!Copy !req
907. Fool, get off me!Copy !req
908. You been paralysed for the last five years.Copy !req
909. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
910. Don't worry, Legs, man.Copy !req
911. If we ever find that Toothpick,
I'm gonna smoke him.Copy !req
912. No! We need to put an end
to all this black-on-black crime.Copy !req
913. We need to call a truce.Copy !req
914. What about that time you shot Byron?Copy !req
915. Ain't that black-on-black crime?Copy !req
916. - No. Byron was light-skinned.
- Yeah.Copy !req
917. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
918. - You're about to go to this party?
- Yeah.Copy !req
919. - You're gonna be drinkin'.
- Just a little.Copy !req
920. Let me tell you about drinkin' and drivin'.Copy !req
921. That shit is fun, man!
Y'all get yourself a forty.Copy !req
922. Then get on the freeway, punch it to 85.Copy !req
923. Turn off your lights,
let go of the steering wheel.Copy !req
924. It will bug you out! Try it!Copy !req
925. I'm gonna try that.Copy !req
926. Why y'all didn't invite me to the party?Copy !req
927. Come on, Pop. You gotta be over 18.Copy !req
928. - Oh, man!
- Besides, it's past your bedtime.Copy !req
929. Did you brush your teeth? Let me see.Copy !req
930. No. There we go.Copy !req
931. - All right, I'm out.
- All right.Copy !req
932. Before you go,
won't you read me a bedtime story?Copy !req
933. - All right, just one.
- That's all I need.Copy !req
934. Let's get to a good one. Here we go.Copy !req
935. "This is the story of Dick and Mary.Copy !req
936. "Mary lies on the bed and spreads her thighs.Copy !req
937. "Dick thrusts his large member
into her waiting vagina.Copy !req
938. "'Fuck me! Fuck me,' Mary screams.Copy !req
939. "Dick covers her head with a pillow
'cause she's too noisy.Copy !req
940. "Dick continues to pound her
swollen opening until he climaxes.Copy !req
941. "'Oh, I'm coming! I'm coming!'Copy !req
942. "And he falls asleep."Copy !req
943. Good night, Pops.Copy !req
944. Domino, nigger! Yeah!Copy !req
945. What's up, niggers?Copy !req
946. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
947. - What up?
- Hey, what's up? How you doin'?Copy !req
948. What's up, nigger? Black boy.Copy !req
949. What's up, man?Copy !req
950. I got one question.
Who got that chronic, nigger?Copy !req
951. Man, I got that ill killer shit.
Guaranteed to fuck you up.Copy !req
952. Hey, nigger, light that shit up. Fuck me up.Copy !req
953. Toke it. Toke it, nigger, toke it!Copy !req
954. He's goin' into convulsions!Copy !req
955. - Man, he ain't breathin'!
- He's foamin' at the mouth!Copy !req
956. Yo, he dead.Copy !req
957. Yo, pass that shit!Copy !req
958. Yo, pass that!Copy !req
959. - Hit it.
- Hit it!Copy !req
960. Hit it! Hit it! Hit it! Hit it!Copy !req
961. See, that's what I'm talkin' about, Sabomboo.Copy !req
962. - Suck it.
- Nigger tries to hide the good shit.Copy !req
963. Hey, baby, you wanna dance?Copy !req
964. Yes, I do. But not with you.Copy !req
965. Her right. Her right.
Her right. Her right.Copy !req
966. Hey, girl. How you doin'?
My name is Loc Dog.Copy !req
967. - What's your name?
- La Quanda.Copy !req
968. La Quanda, do you have a boyfriend?Copy !req
969. No. You know, men always seem to be
really intimidated by meCopy !req
970. but I don't know why.Copy !req
971. Well, you know, I can understand
how a pretty girl like yourselfCopy !req
972. might make a man a little sick.Copy !req
973. I mean, nervous!Copy !req
974. Yeah, well, it takes a really special
kind of man to be with me.Copy !req
975. - You know?
- Yeah, well, uh...Copy !req
976. Let me go find him.Copy !req
977. Damn, girl, you need to slow down with that.Copy !req
978. You ain't my daddy
and you ain't pa yin' any of my bills.Copy !req
979. Mind your business.Copy !req
980. Oh, this is my song!Copy !req
981. Hi.Copy !req
982. Hi, my name is Loc Dog. What's your name?Copy !req
983. - Keisha.
- Keisha.Copy !req
984. You always this shy, Keisha?Copy !req
985. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
986. Keisha, what do you say we go back
to my place and have a nightcap?Copy !req
987. I don't know. I just met you.Copy !req
988. Hey, girl, the Dog don't bite
unless you ask me.Copy !req
989. Okay.Copy !req
990. - All right, come on.
- I guess it'd be all right.Copy !req
991. Baby, you really love me?Copy !req
992. - You know I do, girl.
- Mmm.Copy !req
993. I really shouldn't.Copy !req
994. Come on, girl. It ain't gonna hurt you.Copy !req
995. It's just that when I drink,
sometimes I get a little crazy.Copy !req
996. And that's what I want.Copy !req
997. Hmm?Copy !req
998. I don't want you to think I'm a freak
or nothin' like that.Copy !req
999. I usually don't go home with guys
when I first meet them.Copy !req
1000. But I just feel so comfortable with you.Copy !req
1001. That's good, girl.Copy !req
1002. Whenever you with me,
I want you to just relax and be yourself.Copy !req
1003. You are so nasty! I should be going.Copy !req
1004. Whoa, come on, baby. Relax.Copy !req
1005. Okay? Just relax.Copy !req
1006. Don't you go nowhere.
You're in good hands now, girl.Copy !req
1007. Loo Dogs gonna take good care oi you, baby.Copy !req
1008. Are you sure it's okay?Copy !req
1009. I want you to just be yourself, okay?Copy !req
1010. I told you I could get a little crazy.Copy !req
1011. - Yeah, you get crazy. Come on.
- Okay.Copy !req
1012. Okay, motherfucker, let's get it on!Copy !req
1013. Oh, no, nigger, you ain't goin' nowhere.Copy !req
1014. Fresh air, fresh fish.Copy !req
1015. Nothin' like the great outdoors, huh, Pop?Copy !req
1016. Pop, can we talk, teenager to teenager?Copy !req
1017. See, I met this girl. She's pretty special.Copy !req
1018. She's movin' out of the hood
and I want to go with her.Copy !req
1019. - Man, who is this girl?
- Her name's Dashiki.Copy !req
1020. Dashiki! From Penetration Avenue?Copy !req
1021. Come on!
Don't tell me you slept with her, too?Copy !req
1022. Oh, no, it ain't nothin' like that, son.Copy !req
1023. - She sure could suck a dick, though.
- What?Copy !req
1024. Nothin', son. Go ahead.
Tell me about this girl.Copy !req
1025. Anyway, I think I'm in love.Copy !req
1026. You knockin' boots yet?Copy !req
1027. - Yeah.
- Hold on.Copy !req
1028. You use a condom?Copy !req
1029. - No.
- Good! That's my boy! That's my boy!Copy !req
1030. Never use condoms, son!
They take away all the feelin'.Copy !req
1031. Yeah.Copy !req
1032. Only thing is, now she's pregnant.
I don't know what to do.Copy !req
1033. Man, look,Copy !req
1034. let me give you the same advice
my father gave me, all right?Copy !req
1035. Give up hope. Look at me.
Dreams are for suckers.Copy !req
1036. Ain't no future for you.Copy !req
1037. And don't think about gettin' no job, Tray!Copy !req
1038. The black man ain't got no place
in the workforce.Copy !req
1039. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
1040. You're ea yin' don't get caught upCopy !req
1041. in the white man's system
of self-perpetuatin' unemploymentCopy !req
1042. and wind up on welfare cheques.Copy !req
1043. Wrong! Ain't nothing wrong with
welfare cheques. It's free money.Copy !req
1044. Our family survived six generations on it.Copy !req
1045. - Thanks, Pop. You know what to say.
- Don't you know.Copy !req
1046. My boy Tray gettin' himself some sex.Copy !req
1047. Getting locked up in the city ain't the same.Copy !req
1048. Get the map. Get the map.Copy !req
1049. Fuck it.
Let's go twist these niggers in a cat bag, man.Copy !req
1050. Can't you read it? Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
1051. - Drive.
- Let's go.Copy !req
1052. - What's up, Loc?
- What's up, Tray?Copy !req
1053. I can't believe your mark ass
is finally leavin' the hood.Copy !req
1054. Yup, YUP, YUP-Copy !req
1055. - Me and Dashiki's tyin' that knot.
- Tie a knot in that bitch's tubes.Copy !req
1056. Really.Copy !req
1057. I actually think we're gonna be all right.Copy !req
1058. - Why don't you come with us?
- What?Copy !req
1059. Take a road trip in a mail truck?
That's the stupidest idea I heard.Copy !req
1060. Well, anyway, you just be careful.Copy !req
1061. Come on, baby, you talkin' to Loc Dog.Copy !req
1062. You know I'm gonna be aight.Copy !req
1063. ShootCopy !req
1064. Hey, Tray...Copy !req
1065. Never forget, man.Copy !req
1066. Either they don't know,Copy !req
1067. don't show,Copy !req
1068. or just don't care about bein'
a menace in South CentralCopy !req
1069. while they drink their juice in the hood.Copy !req
1070. That's what it's all about, Tray.Copy !req
1071. I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
1072. What the fuck is he talkin' about?Copy !req
1073. - What's up, little homie?
- What's up?Copy !req
1074. Want some of this?
Make you grow hair on your nuts.Copy !req
1075. Don't be givin' that little kid no alcohol.Copy !req
1076. - Nigger, you ain't his daddy.
- I ain't?Copy !req
1077. Dashiki! Bitch, you better
give me back my child support money!Copy !req
1078. What's up, little man?Copy !req
1079. Like I was ea yin',
what's up with them hos tonight?Copy !req
1080. Take care of my baby, aight? And my truck.Copy !req
1081. What?Copy !req
1082. I'm only playing with you.Copy !req
1083. Just shoot everything in sight.Copy !req
1084. Break yourself!Copy !req
1085. Somebody help me!Copy !req
1086. I'm coming!Copy !req
1087. Is you okay, snowflake?Copy !req
1088. Oh, yes, my big chocolate warrior.Copy !req
1089. Dashiki!Copy !req
1090. Take that, motherfucker!Copy !req
1091. Take that, motherfucker!Copy !req
1092. You know you fucked up, right?
Yeah, you fucked up.Copy !req
1093. Hear what I'm ea yin'?Copy !req
1094. Hey, Grandma. You got the juice now.Copy !req
1095. Oh, go to hell!Copy !req
1096. Damn.Copy !req
1097. I'll marry you, I promise! Just wake up!Copy !req
1098. I know, sister.
You're gonna miss him, aren't you?Copy !req
1099. Yeah.
Where else will I find a pussy-whipped foolCopy !req
1100. to take care of me and seven kids?Copy !req
1101. Listen, sister, listen!
You are a strong African-American woman!Copy !req
1102. And it's because of that, I can't be with you.Copy !req
1103. Oh, time for me to take out
the poor, white trash.Copy !req
1104. Who are you calling whipped?Copy !req
1105. - You're alive!
- Ow!Copy !req
1106. Oh, Lord, why you do this to me?Copy !req
1107. Oh, I can't take it! I can't take it!Copy !req
1108. I can't take it! Oh, my Lord!Copy !req
1109. Oh, my baby!Copy !req
1110. Oh, Mama. Mama.
I swallowed my toothpick, Mama.Copy !req
1111. Oh, baby, you're okay!Copy !req
1112. Now, where's my money you stole,
you little hoodlum?Copy !req
1113. I want my money. I'll beat the shit outta you!Copy !req
1114. Where's my money?Copy !req
1115. TRAY". Well, that's my story.Copy !req
1116. As for Dashiki and I, we got married.Copy !req
1117. Loc Dog went into show business.Copy !req
1118. I wanna say fuck you all,
suck my dick and, uh...Copy !req
1119. Lick your ass!Copy !req
1120. Preach, he settled down.Copy !req
1121. Crazy Legs' dream of becoming
a dancer finally came true.Copy !req
1122. And as for Grandma,Copy !req
1123. well, she's still Grandma.Copy !req
1124. Damn! This is some good shit.Copy !req