1. I ain't lying, man. People love me.
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2. Hey, if you play this song,
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3. I guarantee motherfuckers'll
start hopping and squirming.
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4. When I used to play this record live,
motherfuckers would actually faint.
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5. They would faint on the floor.
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6. I'd have to call the amba-lance
and pick all these motherfuckers up.
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7. Every time I played this.
They start callin' the hospital in advance
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8. and tell them,
"Rudy gonna be singing tonight.
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9. Make sure y'all ready, 'cause we finna be
carrying motherfuckers out the club."
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10. "Buggy Ride"?
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11. Hey, that ain't no small-time shit, man.
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12. Goddamn, Rudy. I got Marvin Gaye
singing "Let's Get It On."
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13. I can't be playin' no "Buggy Ride."
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14. - I got 60 seconds to get to the next tune.
- Okay, man, how about this?
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15. This a nice R&B single.
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16. It's a catchy thing
called "Step It Up and Go."
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17. Heh. Come on, are you for real?
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18. Hey, man,
that shit right there was monumental.
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19. That's my number one selling single.
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20. Put the shit in rotation,
see what happens.
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21. This looks like something
my grandfather would listen to, you dig?
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22. No. Forty-five seconds.
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23. Okay, man.
Look, I saved the best for last.
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24. Now that's a smash, huh?
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25. "Ring A Ling A Dong"?
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26. - I ain't heard this one yet.
- Hey, that's a catchy motherfucker, man.
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27. Rudy. Man, I only play the hits.
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28. Hey, but that should've been a hit, man.
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29. Those motherfuckers at Federal Records
was gonna take it all the way to the top.
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30. Man, they signed me. Was gonna do it all.
Promote the shit out of the thang,
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31. and then they signed
that fucking James Brown.
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32. He come out jumping around,
doing splits and shit
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33. and shaking his black ass
and sucked up all the attention.
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34. Say, man, do you think I wanna work at
a ghetto record store as a DJ?
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35. Sometimes our dreams
just don't come true.
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36. They still can.
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37. Nah, brother. We missed our shots.
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38. I think we both
need to get back to work.
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39. All right, man. Thanks for nothing.
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40. - Marvin Gaye ain't shit.
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41. S-L-Y to the Family Stone.
You're rocking with your main man, DJ Roj,
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42. large and in charge
on your favorite radio station—
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43. Los Angeles.
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44. - Can you dig it?
- Hey, man, can I pay for this?
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45. All right, young blood.
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46. How you doing today, young brother?
All right, man.
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47. Stevie Wonder and Stylistics.
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48. Yeah, you listen to the good stuff.
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49. Man, you got shipments piled up in back,
and I been on this register all morning.
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50. - Sorry I'm late, Rudy. My apologies.
- Move your ass. Man, here's your change.
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51. My apologies.
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52. Ring that up for me, Toney.
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53. Hey, my man.
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54. All right.
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55. Ladies and gentlemen,
it is so good to be here tonight.
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56. I only recently returned
back from Broadway.
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57. Yes, I was on Broadway.
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58. I was on Broadway for six whole months
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59. standing on the corner
trying to find a job.
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60. What did the elephant say
to the naked man?
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61. "Are you gonna breathe
with that small thing?"
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62. All right, without any further ado,
I'd like to bring to the stage...
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63. the hot musical sounds
of our headliner—The Ben Taylor Band.
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64. Come on, give it up
for The Ben Taylor Band.
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65. Hoo.
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66. - Hey, the show popping tonight, huh?
- Rudy, you went over your limit.
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67. The people was enjoying my appeal,
so I stretched it out a little bit.
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68. The deal is five minutes.
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69. Hey, I ain't on the marquee out front.
How come you didn't put me on the front?
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70. You the emcee.
Nobody paying to see you.
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71. Maybe they would, Mr. Allen.
I was thinking,
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72. maybe you should just consider
getting me my own slot.
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73. Know what I mean? 'Cause
I'm a total entertainment experience.
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74. I sing, I do comedy, and I dance,
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75. and I do a dance called adagio dancing
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76. where I come out in a turban,
and I do it to a African beat.
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77. - It's very erotic.
- Rudy, that's 1950.
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78. Vaudeville is dead.
I don't need an all-in-one.
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79. Shit, I ain't that old.
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80. Who do you think I am,
Pigmeat Markham or Moms Mabley?
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81. I got something to offer.
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82. Rat soup-eatin' motherfucker.
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83. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
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84. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like
to take you to the track one more time.
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85. And here's a late scratch,
ladies and gentlemen.
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86. Anna's Ass has been scratched.
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87. It's not the first time
Anna's Ass has been scratched.
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88. The last one was a shame,
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89. because I would love to have seen
Anna's Ass up against My Dick today.
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90. That's some funny shit.
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91. He ain't that funny.
He just cussing up a storm.
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92. He ain't cussing.
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93. It's clever. I don't know. See...
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94. My Dick ain't his dick.
My Dick is actually his horse.
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95. I know what My Dick is.
I ain't a fucking imbecile.
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96. He's just using a double entendre
so the police don't come get his ass.
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97. You know, I used to work with Redd Foxx.
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98. - You knew Redd Foxx?
- Oh, yeah.
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99. We was in the kitchen
washing dishes together,
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100. but I worked with the motherfucker.
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101. One day, he went up in front of
the right promoter, got his big break.
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102. Oh, here go that fucking Ricco.
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103. Ah, man, he smells like urine.
He be touching the door.
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104. - Man, go stop him.
- I'm not stopping shit, man.
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105. I'm assistant manager.
I'm delegating to you.
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106. You deal with stinking-ass Ricco.
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107. I'm not going
anywhere near them germs, man.
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108. Ricco responds best to authority,
so the manager should do it.
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109. Oh, shit, man.
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110. Hell, no, Ricco. Not today.
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111. I was born in a barrel of butcher knives.
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112. Been shot in the ass by two Colt.45s.
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113. I know, I know.
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114. Been slapped by a bear and bit by an eel.
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115. I chew up railroad iron,
and I shit out steel.
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116. All right, nigga, let's go. That's it.
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117. Jumped in the ocean
and swallowed a whale.
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118. Handcuffed lightning,
throwed thunder's ass in jail.
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119. Look, Ricco, this ain't no place
for your hobo stories.
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120. Whoa, I ain't no hobo.
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121. I am a repository
of Afro-American folklore.
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122. Come on. Lookit, brother. I just need
some money to get something to eat.
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123. I ain't got no teeth.
All I can do is sip on some soup.
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124. Come on, give me a quarter.
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125. Ricco, I'm gonna give you a quarter.
You go get you some soup.
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126. Then you just got to get up out of here.
Let's go, man.
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127. - Get my black ass on.
- Go on now. All right, okay.
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128. First, I'm gonna tell you one of the
funniest fuckin' things you ever did hear.
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129. - Oh, come on, man.
- Some people think that Willie Green...
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130. was the baddest man
the world had ever seen.
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131. But I want you to light up a joint,
screw your wig on tight,
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132. and let me tell you about
a little bad motherfucker
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133. called Dolemite.
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134. Man, I haven't heard those
in a long time.
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135. - Dolemite, Signifying Monkey.
- He did all of them ones.
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136. 'Cause I had a uncle that was in jail,
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137. and they was doing that shit
all the time, telling jokes,
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138. 'cause they had nothing else to do.
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139. You could fuck.
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140. Yes, Toney, you could fuck,
but we ain't talking about that right now.
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141. Hey, you know what I was thinking, man.
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142. What y'all think would happen
if somebody took those jokes...
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143. a professional, and polished them,
and turn it into a act?
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144. Yeah, and did it on a stoop.
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145. - In a barbershop?
- Yeah, in a barbershop.
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146. - Rudy, that's a good idea.
- Yeah, man, that shit could work.
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147. Say, Rudy man, all them slave jokes,
that shit not gonna work.
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148. I wouldn't put it in my act, personally.
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149. - Hey, man, funny is funny.
- They're not ready for the big time.
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150. I don't know what time it's gonna
make it to, but the shit is funny.
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151. Look here. Them white folks gonna see
that country-ass nigga get up onstage
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152. and say, "Now what in the fuck
is he about to say now?"
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153. Before I go out, I always keep
"The Morning After" in my hip pocket,
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154. - just in case there's any white faces.
- What the hell is "The Morning After"?
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155. Don't be ignant. The love theme
from The Poseidon Adventure.
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156. Oh, man, what in the fuck
you gonna learn that shit for?
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157. You ain't gonna never play that
for whitey.
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158. Last thing they wanna see
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159. is your big black ass onstage
singing "The Morning After."
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160. And I know you ain't sitting here
criticizing nobody.
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161. You stealing jokes
from hobos and bums arou—
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162. He got you there, Rudy.
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163. Hey, you know what?
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164. Fuck you, niggas.
Fuck y'all know, anyway?
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165. Rudy.
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166. Rudy.
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167. Man, I'm sorry.
We was just havin' a little fun.
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168. Hey, man, how'd my life get so damn small?
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169. I came out here
with some big plans, Jimmy.
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170. I was gonna do it all,
just like Sammy Davis Jr.
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171. Movies, concerts, TV. Everything.
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172. This job at Dolphin's supposed to be
my temporary day job.
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173. Cut to a million years later,
it's all I got.
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174. - You still got the Californian Club.
- Oh, man. That ain't gonna lead to shit.
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175. I ain't got nothing nobody want.
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176. - Man, he got somethin'.
- Yeah.
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177. Man, who the— Who is this?
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178. I don't know, man. You ever seen him?
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179. - No, I ain't never seen any—
- Hey, brothers.
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180. How y'all doing tonight?
I'm trying to find Ricco.
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181. Ricco? Who in the fuck is that?
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182. That's a old bum with no teeth.
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183. - You mean like this?
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184. Oh, shit. Guess that
ain't narrow it down at all, did it?
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185. It ain't like it used to be.
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186. This neighborhood been went to shit, man.
It's sad, sad, sad.
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187. You see this building over here?
That's the Dunbar Hotel.
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188. That used to be the center
of black arts entertainment.
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189. I saw Duke Ellington there,
Billie Holiday,
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190. but now it's just filled with
a bunch of junkies and winos.
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191. - Junkies and winos.
- Tony, I'm gonna pay your money. Shit.
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192. Oh, shit. There he go right there.
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193. - Ricco. Hey, man.
- That what you been talking about?
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194. Hey, brother! How you doing, Ricco?
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195. - What's going on, man?
- I don't know you.
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196. Yeah, man. I'm your friend
from Dolphin's Records.
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197. Ain't you the son of a bitch
that throws me out?
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198. Oh, no, Ricco. That's that other guy, man.
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199. Hey, man, look. Look here, man.
I got some money, and I got some hooch.
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200. How you like to sit down
and tell me your stories?
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201. Cocaine Shorty's my name.
Fuckin' is my claim.
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202. You can line 98 hos up against a wall,
I bet you a dollar I can fuck 'em all.
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203. - I can top that.
- Oh, no, you can't top that.
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204. Hey, neither can he.
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205. - I'm the funniest motherfucker out here.
- Hey, don't need to argue, fellas.
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206. Hold on now. I got some more money.
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207. I wanna hear
from all the liquor store wise men.
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208. Okay, let's go now. What's next?
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209. I fucked an elephant and her mother.
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210. I fucked the bull, the cow,
and her brother.
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211. I need a better punchline.
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212. Fucked a... cow— bull, a cow.
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213. Fucked a elephant.
Dared her to mutter.
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214. I could look up a bull's ass
and tell you the price of butter.
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215. That is funny.
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216. Fucked an elephant down to a coon.
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217. Even fucked the same—
Yes, I fucked an elephant down to a coon.
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218. I fucked a elephant down to a coon!
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219. Yes, I fucked a elephant down to a coon.
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220. Even fucked the same cow
that jumped over the motherfucking moon.
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221. I got kicked out of South America
for fucking steers.
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222. I fucked a she elephant
till she broke down in tears.
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223. I got thrown out of South America
for fucking steers.
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224. I fucked King Kong's mama
till she broke down in tears.
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225. Dole-Dolemite is my...
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226. Dolemite is my name.
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227. Way down in the jungle deep,
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228. lion stepped on the s—
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229. Way down in the jungle deep...
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230. a lion stepped on
a signified monkey's feet!
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231. Dolemite is my name,
and fucking up motherfuckers is my game!
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232. - All right.
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233. How it is that he can take you
beautiful people with him?
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234. That's my kinfolk. Come on now.
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235. Stay right here. Yes, sir.
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236. The fuck is you in tux? What'd you do
to your hair? You look like a pimp.
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237. I come up with a new character
and all new material, too.
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238. Well, actually, it's old material.
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239. I don't need this.
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240. Just stick to your regular set.
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241. It's always somethin'.
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242. Way down in the jungle deep...
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243. the lion stepped on
the signified monkey's feet.
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244. The monkey said,
"Motherfucker, can't you see...
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245. you standing on my goddamn feet?"
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246. The lion said,
"I ain't heard a word you said.
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247. If you say three more, I'll jump off
on your motherfucking head."
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248. Man, don't give me
that Buddy Hackett shit.
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249. Make that shit swing.
Put your weight on it.
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250. - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
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251. But the monkey got wise
and started using his wit.
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252. Said, "I think I'm gonna bring an end
to all this ass-kicking shit."
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253. He ran up on the lion the very next day.
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254. He said, "Oh, Mr. Lion,
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255. there's a big, bad, burly motherfucker
coming your way."
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256. He said, "And he's somebody
that you don't know...
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257. 'cause he just broke-a loose
from Ringling Brothers' show."
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258. Said, "He talked about your people
in a hell of a way.
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259. Yes, he talked about your people
till my hair turned gray."
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260. He said, "Your daddy's a freak,
and your mama's a whore."
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261. Said, "He spotted you in the jungle
sellin' your black ass from door to door."
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262. He said, "Your sister got down
and did a hell of a trick.
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263. She got so low,
she sucked a earthworm's dick."
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264. He said he corn-holed your uncle,
fucked your auntie and your niece,
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265. and the next time he see your grandma,
he gonna get him another good piece.
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266. I ain't lying!
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267. - Smells good.
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268. - Just like back home, right?
- Yes, Lord.
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269. Say, when's the last time
you been back to Arkansas?
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270. Oh, a long time. I ain't got
a lot of good memories from back home,
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271. so I don't be thinking about
back home much.
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272. Basically, when I think about back home,
I think, "Fuck back home."
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273. Hey, you know, Auntie?
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274. Mm-hmm?
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275. You know, I was thinking about
maybe putting out another record.
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276. Another record? Why don't you help me
get rid of some of that shit
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277. that's stacked up over there
in the corner? "Another record."
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278. This time, I'm gonna put out
a comedy record.
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279. Comedy? You've been a singer,
you've been a shake dancer,
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280. and one time, I think
you even called yourself a fortune teller.
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281. You know it's real hard to break in.
I'd do whatever it takes to get in.
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282. Is it gonna be like that
cute lil' Bill Cosby?
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283. He's so sweet.
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284. He tells those family tales
about the kids playing in the street,
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285. playing jacks and such. I like that.
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286. Yeah, there's gonna be stories
about family and kids
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287. - and a grandma and grandpa.
- Oh, that's nice.
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288. So, yeah, it's gonna be stories,
but listen. Here's what the thing is.
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289. - I'm trying to be entrepreneurial on this.
- Oh, let us bow our heads and pray.
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290. Father God, I wanna thank you
for giving me the strength
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291. to make this meal for my beloved family.
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292. Let us nourish our body
in Jesus' name. Amen.
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293. - Thank you, Lord.
- All right, then.
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294. Thank you for this pork chop.
Now, as I was saying—
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295. - You want some hot sauce?
- Come on now, Auntie, now.
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296. I wanna be entrepreneurial on this thing,
and I need you to loan me some money
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297. - so I can get some recording equipment.
- No, no.
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298. - Mm-mmm.
- Come on, Auntie. You rich, woman.
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299. I'm not rich.
What make you think I'm rich?
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300. What happened to all that money you made
when you fell off that bus?
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301. Uh, that is my money
to do with what I want to,
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302. and I only got $250.
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303. That's exactly how much I need
to be a star.
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304. - Come on, woman. Loan me...
- I got my coat on layaway...
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305. - Please...
- I'm already into 'em for $50...
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306. She gonna give me the money.
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307. 'Cause you about to cut off my air supply.
Get up from around my neck.
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308. - Why you so fucking stingy, then?
- Ain't this a bitch?
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309. - Give me the money, woman.
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310. Why the hell is there a line?
You told me we were going to a party.
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311. We are going to a party.
We're making a party record.
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312. Come on in. Come on in. Watch your step.
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313. - Watch your step.
- Gimme some skin, baby.
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314. Come on in. Watch your step.
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315. Fedco gin?
I didn't even know they made alcohol.
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316. Nigga, we ain't going for flavor.
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317. Look, I don't see how this can work.
We should be in a real club.
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318. I don't wanna hear that shit.
We got what we got. Gotta make it work.
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319. - You're my producer, right?
- I am?
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320. What do you think we're doing here?
We producing an album.
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321. - Okay.
- Okay, all right? Come here, man.
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322. Okay.
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323. Hey, man,
get these people limber and loose.
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324. Right, right, right, right.
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325. Producer.
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326. Oh, guess I'm producing.
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327. All right, y'all know what it is.
Y'all know what time it is.
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328. It's show time, y'all. Come on now.
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329. Give yourself a round of applause.
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330. Okay, I want everybody
to have a good time tonight.
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331. We doing a album this evening,
a live recording.
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332. We got a engineer back there.
He's professional.
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333. That nigga done been on Leave It to Beaver
and Gunsmoke. All kinds of shit.
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334. Okay. Yeah, all right, y'all.
The time we've been waiting for.
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335. The man of the hour. The man, the myth.
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336. You love him, and I love him.
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337. Put your hands together
for Rudy Ray Moore.
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338. All right now.
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339. Some folks say Willie Green...
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340. was the baddest motherfucker
that the world had ever seen.
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341. I want you to light you up a joint,
take a real good shit,
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342. and screw your wig on tight.
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343. And let me tell you about that
bad motherfucker called Dolemite.
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344. Dolemite. Come on, Rudy.
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345. Now, Dolemite was born in San Antone.
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346. A rambling, gambling,
scrambling motherfucker
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347. since the day he was born.
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348. On the day he was dropped
from his mammy's ass...
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349. he slapped his pappy in the face,
and said,
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350. "From now on, cocksucker,
I'm running this place."
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351. - At the age of one—
- Okay, I've heard enough.
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352. - Hey, but you haven't even got to the—
- It's filthy. And I know filthy.
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353. Jesus, you can't play that over the radio.
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354. And you can't sell it over the counter
in most cities.
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355. Record stores, they don't wanna be raided.
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356. Raided? Hey, come on, man.
The world has changed.
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357. Deep Throat is a big-ass hit movie,
and the lady sucks a cock in every scene.
Copy !req
358. Yeah, in porno houses.
Copy !req
359. Record stores, they're a family business.
Copy !req
360. Kids go in.
Copy !req
361. Uh, look, on vinyl,
you can call a guy a cocksucker,
Copy !req
362. but you can't say he sucks a cock.
Copy !req
363. - Can you grasp the distinction?
- No, I do not.
Copy !req
364. If I want to say
that a woman's pussy is so hot,
Copy !req
365. it makes a motherfucker's asshole burn,
then I'm gonna say it!
Copy !req
366. Then say it.
Copy !req
367. But you've got a product here
that you can't sell or promote.
Copy !req
368. - What'd he say?
Copy !req
369. Shit, man, we just got into some legal
semantic argument about cocksucking.
Copy !req
370. You know what, man? Fuck him.
We gonna put this shit out ourself.
Copy !req
371. Come on.
Copy !req
372. - Say, Rudy. What's with the devil faces?
- I want it to look illegal.
Copy !req
373. Real naughty. Like some shit
they ain't supposed to have.
Copy !req
374. Yes, I rode across the ocean
on the head of my dick.
Copy !req
375. Ate nine tons of cat shit
and ain't never got sick.
Copy !req
376. Rudy.
Copy !req
377. I fucked bitches and paid my rent.
Copy !req
378. I don't owe a living ass
a motherfucking cent.
Copy !req
379. So, motherfuckers, can't you see?
Copy !req
380. I pity the son of a bitch
that fucks with me.
Copy !req
381. I can walk the desert sand
and never leave a track.
Copy !req
382. Fuck the hump out of a camel's back.
Copy !req
383. Hey, man. All right, wait for a second.
Wanna buy one of these ashtrays, nigga?
Copy !req
384. Welcome back
to the Californian Club
Copy !req
385. Mr. Dolemite himself—Rudy Ray Moore.
Copy !req
386. Yes, I want you to listen and listen well.
Copy !req
387. 'Cause I'm that bad motherfucker
that drove the devil out of hell.
Copy !req
388. I once walked from New York City
to the deep, deep South
Copy !req
389. just to slap a son of a bitch
in his motherfucking mouth.
Copy !req
390. All right.
Copy !req
391. Mules have kicked me,
and they didn't bruise my hide.
Copy !req
392. A rattlesnake bit me
and then just crawled off and died.
Copy !req
393. 'Cause Dolemite is my name,
and fucking up motherfuckers is my game.
Copy !req
394. He said, "Your daddy's
a freak, and your mama's a whore."
Copy !req
395. Said he spotted you in the jungle
selling your black ass from door-to-door.
Copy !req
396. Quiet. Listen.
Copy !req
397. Said your sister got down
and did a hell of a trick.
Copy !req
398. She got so low
she sucked a earthworm's dick.
Copy !req
399. - What the hell is this?
- Every black hipster is listening to it.
Copy !req
400. You go down Crenshaw,
South Central, Baldwin Hills—
Copy !req
401. this is blasting out of every door.
Copy !req
402. It's insane.
Copy !req
403. The guy is actually selling it
out of his car trunk.
Copy !req
404. And you think this can cross over?
Copy !req
405. To who? Whites?
Copy !req
406. No. To blacks
who don't shop out of car trunks.
Copy !req
407. I just want to say
to all you Bihari brothers
Copy !req
408. that I am ecstatic.
Copy !req
409. Anything y'all want me to do, man.
Copy !req
410. Whatever it takes to make this record
go up the charts, I'm ready to do it.
Copy !req
411. Okay, Rudy. We're glad to hear that.
Copy !req
412. If y'all need me on the Chitlin Circuit,
I can do that.
Copy !req
413. I know all the clubs.
I could hit the radio stations...
Copy !req
414. Right, right.
Copy !req
415. We have a crack marketing promotion team.
We'll figure this out.
Copy !req
416. All my life, I've been wanting
to be famous, you know?
Copy !req
417. But this is more than that.
This is about connecting with the people.
Copy !req
418. You know, this is my moment.
Copy !req
419. So anyway, the name of the album
is "Eat Out More Often," right?
Copy !req
420. So I'm thinking we got the girl
lying on the day bed,
Copy !req
421. you're sneaking up on her,
you're peering over spread legs.
Copy !req
422. See what I'm saying?
Copy !req
423. Lemme show you
what me and Crystal worked out.
Copy !req
424. Crystal, honey,
show 'em what we worked out.
Copy !req
425. I'm like Muhammad Ali.
We getting ready to shock the worlds.
Copy !req
426. I got to be totally outrageous.
Copy !req
427. That's what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
428. Hey, give me that. Crystal,
lay out here for a second for me, honey.
Copy !req
429. - How do you want me?
- Just lay out on the thing here.
Copy !req
430. Uh, yeah, I like that.
Put that over just a little bit.
Copy !req
431. Just— Gimme— You know, gimme somethin'.
Yeah. And hold on to this.
Copy !req
432. Oh, shit now.
Copy !req
433. Yeah, something like this.
Copy !req
434. Yes, it sure is good
to be here in Mississippi.
Copy !req
435. The only place
where the ducks fly upside down,
Copy !req
436. 'cause it ain't nothing worth shitting on.
Copy !req
437. I used to know a fella from Mississippi.
He was so dumb.
Copy !req
438. This motherfucker was so dumb,
he thought manual labor was a Mexican.
Copy !req
439. He was so dumb, he thought
that Kotex was mattress for mice.
Copy !req
440. This motherfucker was so dumb,
he turned down a blow job
Copy !req
441. 'cause he thought they'd stop giving him
his unemployment check.
Copy !req
442. I ain't lying.
This was a dumb motherfucker.
Copy !req
443. I'm sitting here
with Mr. Rudy Ray Moore,
Copy !req
444. who will be appearing here
in Macon, Georgia, this Saturday night.
Copy !req
445. Yes, at Jasper's on Fifth Street.
Copy !req
446. All the pretty girls gotta pay half price.
Copy !req
447. Ugly girls get in for free.
Copy !req
448. Put your weight on it!
Put your weight on it.
Copy !req
449. Put your weight on it.
Copy !req
450. Put your weight on it!
Put your weight on it.
Copy !req
451. Put your weight on it.
Copy !req
452. My, my, my, my. My, my, my.
Copy !req
453. Woman, you better close your legs
'fore I eat off your drawers.
Copy !req
454. The other day, I was with a young lady.
I said to her, "Do you have a cherry?"
Copy !req
455. She said,
"Rudy, of course I have a cherry.
Copy !req
456. But it's been pushed back so damn far,
you could use it as a fucking taillight."
Copy !req
457. Look at it.
Copy !req
458. Uh-uh.
Copy !req
459. When you see it moving like that,
it's talking to me.
Copy !req
460. Not only can it talk, it can sing, too.
Copy !req
461. You don't believe it can sing?
Copy !req
462. You don't believe it can sing?
You don't believe it can sing?
Copy !req
463. Hey, baby, sing for my brother.
Copy !req
464. Damn!
Copy !req
465. Now, we all know
what we've been waiting for.
Copy !req
466. The "now" comedian.
Copy !req
467. Like a "now" generation.
Copy !req
468. Mr. Dolemite himself.
Copy !req
469. Mr. Rudy Ray Moore.
Copy !req
470. Bobby Rush.
Copy !req
471. Good to see you, man.
Copy !req
472. Come on, let's hear it for Bobby Rush,
the prince of the blues, y'all!
Copy !req
473. I know one thing—
this microphone smell like ass.
Copy !req
474. Yeah.
Copy !req
475. Hey, bartender, how about a drink
for the pretty girl?
Copy !req
476. Come on now. I know what the hell I am.
Copy !req
477. I ain't pretty, and I sure as hell
ain't no goddamn girl.
Copy !req
478. I'll have a daiquiri.
Copy !req
479. Your ass should be headlining here
tomorrow with that right hand you got.
Copy !req
480. - That was a hell of a fight.
- Fight? Shit.
Copy !req
481. You know, she can go on ahead
and have his sorry ass
Copy !req
482. and his dangling ball sack.
Copy !req
483. Fucking breath smell like
mildewed goddamn garlic.
Copy !req
484. He shouldn't be spending that paycheck
for all his run-around hussies
Copy !req
485. when we got our son out here
with holes in his britches and shoes.
Copy !req
486. How about that?
Copy !req
487. I'm Rudy.
Copy !req
488. - Lady Reed.
- Lady Reed.
Copy !req
489. You ever been up onstage, Lady Reed?
Copy !req
490. Nah, I ain't show folk.
Copy !req
491. Oh, shit. Yeah, you are. I could tell.
Copy !req
492. Some people walk around
with their own little personal spotlight.
Copy !req
493. I noticed that in you right 'fore
you knocked that nigga on his ass.
Copy !req
494. I used to be a backup singer
in New Orleans.
Copy !req
495. I knew it. I told you.
Copy !req
496. - You sure do.
- Singer, huh?
Copy !req
497. I'd get so nervous,
Copy !req
498. I had to hang on to the mic
from not falling over.
Copy !req
499. Butterflies all in my stomach.
Once, I even shit on the goddamn stage.
Copy !req
500. Yeah.
Copy !req
501. You're funny.
You should be doing stand-up.
Copy !req
502. Nigga, you trying to hit on me?
Copy !req
503. Because I just broke up five minutes ago
on my cheating-ass man.
Copy !req
504. - I'm really not in the fucking mood.
- No. I'm serious.
Copy !req
505. Maybe you should be onstage like me.
Copy !req
506. Sweet Jesus.
Copy !req
507. I mean, I can make my son laugh.
Copy !req
508. But what— what would I do?
Copy !req
509. I'm not really no pimp.
Copy !req
510. I ain't got no stable of whores.
I just created a character.
Copy !req
511. I do it all the time.
I been Prince DuMarr.
Copy !req
512. I been the Harlem Hillbilly.
And tonight, look at this here.
Copy !req
513. - Tug on my shit.
- Tug on what?
Copy !req
514. - Tug on my sh— Just tug on me.
- Tug on this?
Copy !req
515. Mm-hmm. Just give a little tug.
Copy !req
516. Don't tug too hard.
Don't take the motherfucker off.
Copy !req
517. - Oh, shit. That's a motherfucking wig.
- That's right.
Copy !req
518. It's all pretend. Put on a cape
and turn into a fucking superhero.
Copy !req
519. Leave the real you behind.
Go onstage and...
Copy !req
520. - Magic, huh?
Copy !req
521. You a trip.
Copy !req
522. Yes. And now, ladies and gentlemen...
Copy !req
523. without any further ado,
Copy !req
524. I wanna introduce to y'all
the first lady of Comedian International.
Copy !req
525. Come on, give it up for Queen Bee.
Queen Bee. Come on, give it up, y'all.
Copy !req
526. Queen Bee. The first lady.
Copy !req
527. All right! Y'all know me!
Copy !req
528. Queen Bee.
Copy !req
529. Chicken-shit whores
come and get advice from me.
Copy !req
530. Now, my drawers, they may be raggedy.
But they be, oh, so clean.
Copy !req
531. 'Cause, honey,
I got some of the best pussy
Copy !req
532. that you done ever seen.
Copy !req
533. So much money!
Copy !req
534. Rudy, you got a phone call.
Copy !req
535. A one-eyed shooter.
Copy !req
536. - Hello?
- Rudy?
Copy !req
537. Rudy, it's Joe Bihari.
I've been looking all over for you.
Copy !req
538. - Have you seen Billboard?
- Man, you sound crazy as cat shit.
Copy !req
539. I'm outside Tallahassee.
Closest billboard is a hundred miles away.
Copy !req
540. Well, you're on the charts.
Copy !req
541. - What?
Copy !req
542. I'm serious, my friend.
Shooting straight up with a bullet.
Copy !req
543. Now get your ass back to L.A.
We need to record some more albums.
Copy !req
544. Ladies and gentlemen, Dolemite himself—
Mr. Rudy Ray Moore!
Copy !req
545. We love you, Rudy.
Copy !req
546. Flow like a river.
Copy !req
547. - Yeah!
- Amen.
Copy !req
548. How's it goin', baby?
Copy !req
549. What's going on, my man? Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
550. Hey, y'all, excuse me a second, man. Hey!
Copy !req
551. So will you play my record now, man?
Copy !req
552. My apologies, Mr. Dolemite.
Coming right up.
Copy !req
553. Play that shit now. That's the good stuff.
Copy !req
554. Oh, you dirty motherfucker.
Don't play that song.
Copy !req
555. Hey. You know you ain't right.
Come on now. Play the right thing, man.
Copy !req
556. You know that ain't right, man.
Hey, you know what?
Copy !req
557. That's still a bad motherfucker.
Copy !req
558. Merry Christmas, man.
Copy !req
559. What the funk is it?
Copy !req
560. Man, I'm gonna kill 'em with this.
I'm gonna have 'em with the boots.
Copy !req
561. I almost kept that myself, man.
Copy !req
562. You deserve it, man.
Merry Christmas to all of y'all.
Copy !req
563. - Thank you, Rudy. It's hot.
- Yeah, I'm gonna get this, too.
Copy !req
564. Oh, I know damn sure you is.
Shit, all that money he getting.
Copy !req
565. Hey, guys,
I used to go see a movie every Christmas.
Copy !req
566. Y'all wanna see something?
Lemme treat y'all to a picture show.
Copy !req
567. - How 'bout Blackenstein?
- Oh, I wanna see Shaft in Africa.
Copy !req
568. Hey, how about Front Page?
Copy !req
569. The newspaper said it was the best,
funniest thing in town.
Copy !req
570. I feel like laughing. Let's go laugh.
Copy !req
571. - Let's do it, shit.
- All right.
Copy !req
572. Gonna mention the Examiner?
Don't we take credit?
Copy !req
573. - In the second paragraph.
- Who's gonna read the second?
Copy !req
574. For 15 years, I've been trying
to teach you how to write a lead.
Copy !req
575. Do I have to do everything myself?
Get the story? Write the story?
Copy !req
576. Listen, Saphead,
I could blow a better story
Copy !req
577. out of my as— my nose
than you can write!
Copy !req
578. Goddamn dilettante.
Maybe Philadelphia is where you belong.
Copy !req
579. Making up jingles for Burma-Shave.
Copy !req
580. Oh, really? Well, who wrote
Copy !req
581. the Deathbed Confession
of Three-Finger Banducci, huh?
Copy !req
582. Hey, man, what the fuck is this?
This shit ain't funny.
Copy !req
583. I don't get it.
Copy !req
584. - The fuck are they talking about?
- I don't know shit.
Copy !req
585. Who is Herbert Hoover?
Copy !req
586. - And it ain't no brothers in it, either.
- Shh.
Copy !req
587. Hey, don't "shh" me, Sandy Duncan.
Copy !req
588. - What the fuck was that, man?
- That was some bullshit.
Copy !req
589. Nobody even got naked.
Was that even a real movie?
Copy !req
590. I told him
let's go see Blackenstein.
Copy !req
591. Why do these creaky old people
get to star in movies?
Copy !req
592. - White folks get all the breaks.
- Say, Rudy.
Copy !req
593. Since when you ain't saying shit?
Copy !req
594. I was just thinking, man.
Copy !req
595. This movie's playing
'cross the whole country.
Copy !req
596. It ain't got no titties,
no funny, and no kung fu.
Copy !req
597. I was watching at that light
that come out the projector.
Copy !req
598. They shine that motherfucker
across the theater
Copy !req
599. onto a 80-foot-tall screen
and then bam—it's like magic.
Copy !req
600. Know how many mule miles
I had to drive cross this country
Copy !req
601. to get my name in people's mouth?
Copy !req
602. I got to get up on that light.
Copy !req
603. If I get up in that light,
with my own movie,
Copy !req
604. I could be everywhere.
Copy !req
605. I could be everywhere all at once.
Copy !req
606. I have a gigantic fan base.
Copy !req
607. Just did a national tour,
just got back from it.
Copy !req
608. And I had two albums
hit the Billboard charts at the same time.
Copy !req
609. That's why I feel it's time for me
to make my move to the big screen.
Copy !req
610. Right. If I could just
shoot straight with you?
Copy !req
611. When we say gigantic fan base,
aren't we really just talking about
Copy !req
612. a small group of passionate
brothers and sisters here or there?
Copy !req
613. I mean, your appeal is limited.
Copy !req
614. It's not exactly
like you're playing the Apollo.
Copy !req
615. Now, surely you wouldn't suggest
for American International
Copy !req
616. to invest the likes of $300,000
to turn this into a major production.
Copy !req
617. Yeah, but come on, man.
I see all y'all's posters here.
Copy !req
618. I fit in perfect.
Copy !req
619. Black folks love me.
Copy !req
620. Yeah, you see,
that's the thing here, Rudy.
Copy !req
621. Here, we do
a certain type of black picture.
Copy !req
622. The actors we hire
are like, uh, Fred Williamson, Jim Brown.
Copy !req
623. Now, see, you on the other hand,
you're a bit doughier than them, you see?
Copy !req
624. Doughier?
Copy !req
625. Well, hey, man, I put on a girdle.
What I got to do?
Copy !req
626. Come on, brother.
They waiting on Dolemite movie.
Copy !req
627. Let's bring Dolemite to the screen.
Copy !req
628. I don't know how much longer
we can do these pictures, Rudy.
Copy !req
629. You see,
that's why we changing our approach.
Copy !req
630. We got a new one coming.
I bet you gonna like this.
Copy !req
631. You really gonna dig this one.
Copy !req
632. Check this out.
It's called Cornbread, Earl and Me.
Copy !req
633. It's about a kid from the ghetto
Copy !req
634. that's the first from the neighborhood
to get out and make it to college.
Copy !req
635. Now, don't that make you feel good
on the inside, Rudy?
Copy !req
636. Brother, don't nobody wanna see
no shit like that.
Copy !req
637. Come on, Rudy.
Be realistic.
Copy !req
638. You're not a movie star.
You're not an actor.
Copy !req
639. You're not Billy Dee Williams.
Copy !req
640. You're a comedy star. Be happy with that.
Copy !req
641. Man, I want more. All my life,
people been telling me no.
Copy !req
642. My daddy always told me
I was a piece of shit.
Copy !req
643. Just another dumb-ass country-poor nigga.
Copy !req
644. Thought I was gonna be a sharecropper
like he was.
Copy !req
645. I can't imagine you
plowing fields.
Copy !req
646. He wasn't my real daddy nohow.
Copy !req
647. Dirty rotten motherfucker
always beating on me.
Copy !req
648. That's why I left home when I was 15,
go and make something of myself.
Copy !req
649. Look, man. We all had shitty childhoods,
Copy !req
650. but that don't mean you can just
will yourself into being a movie star.
Copy !req
651. Well, why not, Toney? Shit,
I willed myself into being a comedian.
Copy !req
652. I willed myself into being a singer.
Copy !req
653. I even made my own album
in my goddamn living room.
Copy !req
654. How come I can't be in the movies?
Copy !req
655. I want the world to know I exist.
Copy !req
656. How much money you planning on
spending on this thing?
Copy !req
657. Well, I figure, you know, with money
I got from my records, and...
Copy !req
658. I go ask the label for some money,
I probably get about $70,000.
Copy !req
659. That's good, Rudy.
Copy !req
660. Well, hey, Rudy, how much money
you gonna pay Jimmy
Copy !req
661. - for doing his shit since you know him?
- We ain't discussed that stuff yet.
Copy !req
662. But you know my man
don't work for free, right?
Copy !req
663. - You gon' fuck my money up.
- You know you're not working for free?
Copy !req
664. Is that really enough to pay
for all the people you gonna need?
Copy !req
665. At the movies, I always sit through
the closing credits,
Copy !req
666. and that's a lot of folk.
Key grip, best boy.
Copy !req
667. - Wish I had me a best boy.
- Okay, honey.
Copy !req
668. Oh, damn, Toney, don't nobody
wanna hear all that shit, man.
Copy !req
669. We having a pleasant barbecue.
Copy !req
670. And besides, ain't nobody gonna be
getting called "boy" on my set.
Copy !req
671. Hey, look now.
If we gonna do this shit,
Copy !req
672. we gonna all have to chip in together
and help out.
Copy !req
673. Now, Toney, your receipts
always add up to the penny, man,
Copy !req
674. so you gonna be in charge of the money.
Copy !req
675. Jimmy, your act got all them
great props and costumes,
Copy !req
676. so you gonna do all that shit.
Copy !req
677. And, Ben, you write the funkiest songs,
so will you please do the music?
Copy !req
678. But, um, who gonna write this movie, Rudy?
Copy !req
679. 'Cause at the Oscars, they always say,
"It starts with the word."
Copy !req
680. So who gonna write that word, Rudy?
Copy !req
681. My baby!
Copy !req
682. The needle took my baby!
Copy !req
683. Sweet Jesus, when will this stop?
Copy !req
684. I'm gonna kill that pusher.
Copy !req
685. - I'm gonna make him pay!
- No!
Copy !req
686. More death won't solve our problems!
Copy !req
687. Well, then what will, Mom?
Copy !req
688. I am not about to lose another son.
Copy !req
689. What, you gonnna sit here and pray?
And cry?
Copy !req
690. That's what made him turn to that junk
in the first place.
Copy !req
691. Keeping it inside.
Copy !req
692. It wasn't about the text,
it was about the emotions.
Copy !req
693. Hey, sister. Sorry to bother you.
You is a bad motherfucker.
Copy !req
694. What you did tonight, I really enjoyed it.
Copy !req
695. - Oh, thank you.
- Some of the best acting I seen.
Copy !req
696. I'm trying to find Jerry
that wrote the play. Where's he?
Copy !req
697. Uh, right here. I'm Jerry.
Copy !req
698. Hey, man! How you doing, brother?
Good to meet you.
Copy !req
699. Yeah, I called you just recently,
and I sent you some of my albums.
Copy !req
700. - I'm Rudy Ray Moore.
- Yes. Oh, yes, yes. A pleasure, Mr. Moore.
Copy !req
701. Yeah, man. Look, I ain't even know about
this theater. It's mighty fine, though.
Copy !req
702. A lot of talented brothers
and sisters wanna act,
Copy !req
703. but nobody's hiring them,
know what I mean?
Copy !req
704. No TV, no movies. So this is where
they come to show off their craft.
Copy !req
705. That's beautiful, man.
Copy !req
706. So, regarding your albums.
Copy !req
707. - Right.
- I gotta be honest. I listened to them.
Copy !req
708. They're not really my bag.
Copy !req
709. Oh, well, brother,
you ain't got to be funny.
Copy !req
710. All I want you to do is write a story
for me, all the things that happen.
Copy !req
711. The good guys and the bad guys,
the cops and robbers. Them kinda things.
Copy !req
712. - I'm gonna supply all the comedy.
- Oh...
Copy !req
713. I can be humorous. But my work
has to inform as well as entertain.
Copy !req
714. For example, my next play
is called The Devil's Cotton Field.
Copy !req
715. It's a piece of black history
set in the country town I grew up in.
Copy !req
716. It's called Varner, Arkansas.
Copy !req
717. Varner. You from Varner?
Shit, I'm from Fort Smith, nigga.
Copy !req
718. - All right, we got something in common.
- What, that we're both from Arkansas?
Copy !req
719. That we both knew to get our black asses
out of Arkansas.
Copy !req
720. Ain't nothing but canned mutton
in that motherfucker.
Copy !req
721. You got that right.
Copy !req
722. Rudy, I admire your tenacity,
but... I'm about my art.
Copy !req
723. I write my plays,
I teach at an acting school.
Copy !req
724. - I'm trying to uplift the community.
- Come on with all that bullshit, man.
Copy !req
725. We both left Arkansas for L.A.,
and we doing the same hustle now.
Copy !req
726. And I dig what you're doing here.
Copy !req
727. This is beautiful,
bringing the people together and all that.
Copy !req
728. That's what I aspire to do.
But I'm talking about something bigger.
Copy !req
729. I'm talking about the opportunity
to get your message to all the people
Copy !req
730. through movies.
Copy !req
731. Jerry Jones movies.
Copy !req
732. We want this thing to be raw.
Tell it like it is on the streets.
Copy !req
733. Yeah, lots of pimps and whores
and cussing and all that shit.
Copy !req
734. And kung fu, karate.
Brothers love all that kung fu.
Copy !req
735. Gotta have all the kung fu and karate
and that Bruce Lee shit. They love that.
Copy !req
736. I'm sorry, do— do you know karate?
Copy !req
737. No, but I'm a fast learner.
I can learn how to chop me a motherfucker!
Copy !req
738. You know what we should have?
Copy !req
739. A all-girl kung-fu army.
Copy !req
740. - Um, you know, there's...
Copy !req
741. there's plenty
of story opportunity, Rudy.
Copy !req
742. Across this nation, inner cities
are bein' plagued by violent crime.
Copy !req
743. - I feel the government hasn't stepped up—
- That's it. It's whitey's fault.
Copy !req
744. It's a corrupt government. They corrupt.
Copy !req
745. The motherfucker don't care about
the people. The mayor is corrupt.
Copy !req
746. He one of them Nixon motherfuckers.
And there's a exorcism.
Copy !req
747. - Goddamn it, an exorcism?
- Yeah, you know, all that...
Copy !req
748. "Your mother sucks cocks in hell."
Copy !req
749. They love that shit.
That's they favorite dish right now.
Copy !req
750. Okay. Um, I don't know how that
fits into our urban motif.
Copy !req
751. Maybe you're right. I don't wanna be
cleaning up green vomit off the set.
Copy !req
752. We'll put the devil in another movie.
Copy !req
753. Rudy, um, in storytelling,
it's always best to, um...
Copy !req
754. you know, write what you know.
Copy !req
755. Now what do you mean
when you say "write what you know"?
Copy !req
756. What do I... I mean...
Copy !req
757. You've lived a life, you know?
You— Things you've done.
Copy !req
758. So you tell stories
about your own experience.
Copy !req
759. It ain't nothing talk about
my personal life whatsoever, man.
Copy !req
760. Nothing interesting happen there.
I deal with the professional.
Copy !req
761. - Okay, good.
- Yeah, that's the night life.
Copy !req
762. And it's clubs and club owners
and promoters
Copy !req
763. and mobsters, and the money
be disappearing all the time,
Copy !req
764. and you got the pimps and whores
turning tricks in the walk-in freezer.
Copy !req
765. That's good.
Copy !req
766. Okay, then.
Copy !req
767. Yeah. We could use all that.
Copy !req
768. Look at the titties on her, man.
Copy !req
769. Yeah, man, she talented.
Copy !req
770. You ain't lying.
Copy !req
771. Any of you boys interested in a dance?
Copy !req
772. Oh, no, mama. We here casting
for my new motion-picture film.
Copy !req
773. No! No, I ain't doin' no porn.
Copy !req
774. You porn motherfuckers
always coming down here—
Copy !req
775. Woman, I'm making a motion picture,
and I want you to be in it.
Copy !req
776. Now, nudity is required, but so is talent.
Copy !req
777. Talent?
Copy !req
778. Yeah, yeah. Take two dollars,
put some air in that ass.
Copy !req
779. Say, Rudy. Hey, that's D'Urville Martin.
Copy !req
780. That ain't no fucking D'Urville Martin.
Copy !req
781. What would D'Urville Martin
be doing in here, man?
Copy !req
782. Who's D'Urville Martin?
Copy !req
783. Oh, you know. That sidekick nigga
that did, uh... Nigger Charlie.
Copy !req
784. He did Black Caesar
and Hell Up in Harlem. You know him.
Copy !req
785. - He's sitting right over there?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
786. - Hey, that is D'Urville Martin.
- Nigga, I told you.
Copy !req
787. D'Urville Martin? I'm Rudy Ray Moore.
You probably don't recognize me,
Copy !req
788. 'cause I usually have on my album covers
a big afro wig,
Copy !req
789. and sometime I don't wear anything.
Copy !req
790. Oh, well, that must be it, then.
Copy !req
791. Hey, man, what I'm offering
is a professional situation here.
Copy !req
792. I'm offering you a role
in my new motion-picture film.
Copy !req
793. Ahh. What's the part?
Copy !req
794. It's actually not written yet, brother,
but we're open to your input.
Copy !req
795. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
796. I am legit, man.
Copy !req
797. I have an agent.
Copy !req
798. - I have a entertainment lawyer.
- That's right.
Copy !req
799. You just thought you was gonna
walk up in here and make a deal, huh?
Copy !req
800. Just because you lucky enough
to find me in the strip joint.
Copy !req
801. - Nah, nah, nah.
- You know what they say, brother.
Copy !req
802. Luck is where opportunity
meets preparation.
Copy !req
803. What the fuck is that?
Hey, look here, man. Look here.
Copy !req
804. If I was white, you think you could
just walk up here and hire me?
Copy !req
805. No.
Copy !req
806. I've been directed by Roman Polanski.
Copy !req
807. - Rosemary's Baby. That's what it is.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
808. - You goddamn right.
- You were the elevator operator.
Copy !req
809. - Yeah.
- Yeah. A small part.
Copy !req
810. A small part. You been working for
that white man. You need to be careful—
Copy !req
811. White man? I got your white man swinging—
Copy !req
812. Calm down, baby. Calm down.
Copy !req
813. Whoo. Whoa.
Copy !req
814. - Don't worry. It's okay.
- Hey, looky here.
Copy !req
815. These guys with you?
Copy !req
816. Yeah, man. We the producers.
Copy !req
817. Mm-mm-mm. Well, looky here.
I'm-a tell you something.
Copy !req
818. It's okay, baby.
Copy !req
819. You motherfuckers are the worst producers
I have ever met in my life.
Copy !req
820. Think you can just walk up in here,
Copy !req
821. engage an artist's talent
with belittlement?
Copy !req
822. Insult?
Copy !req
823. - Get to truckin', baby.
- Trucking.
Copy !req
824. What if we let you direct?
Copy !req
825. We have got the great D'Urville Martin
directing and co-starring.
Copy !req
826. We got Jerry Jones writing the script,
Copy !req
827. and Ben E. Taylor done put together
a theme song for me
Copy !req
828. that's badder than Superfly and Shaft
put together. Listen at this here.
Copy !req
829. That's background. Dun. Bum.
Copy !req
830. Bass.
Copy !req
831. What y'all think of that?
Copy !req
832. Uh, Rudy, you're very persuasive.
We admire your passion.
Copy !req
833. You gotta understand, Rudy.
You're not just asking for a loan here.
Copy !req
834. You're asking for an advance
on future royalties.
Copy !req
835. We'll do it, it's no risk to us,
but if you blow it,
Copy !req
836. we're gonna own your records
till the end of time.
Copy !req
837. Well, I know all that, but...
Copy !req
838. I'm gonna bet on myself. Ain't nobody
gonna put me on the screen 'cept for me,
Copy !req
839. and everybody I talked to
say they wanna see a Dolemite movie.
Copy !req
840. Well, you understand
you're not supposed to make a movie
Copy !req
841. for the five square blocks
of people you know.
Copy !req
842. Well, that's fine with me,
Copy !req
843. 'cause every city in America
got them same five blocks,
Copy !req
844. and those folks is gonna love it.
Copy !req
845. This is the spot?
Copy !req
846. Man, wait till you see this.
Copy !req
847. Behold. The Dunbar Hotel.
Copy !req
848. Holy shit.
Copy !req
849. - This place is overrun with junkies.
- But we gonna clear 'em all out, man.
Copy !req
850. Look, they had Universal Studios,
you got MGM Studios,
Copy !req
851. and this is gonna be Dolemite Studios.
Copy !req
852. - What?
- Yeah, man. Look at this.
Copy !req
853. It got rooms for days. It just keeps
all over the place. Look at that.
Copy !req
854. Everything we need.
We could build all our sets here.
Copy !req
855. We could do Willie Green's massage parlor,
Queen Bee's whorehouse.
Copy !req
856. Man, they even got a fucking club in here.
Copy !req
857. - Rudy, you can't afford this place.
- I ain't gonna buy it.
Copy !req
858. I ain't gonna have to rent it, neither.
Copy !req
859. I went to the landlord and found out
that he got the BVDs up his ass
Copy !req
860. about all these dopeheads in here.
I offered to clear 'em all out.
Copy !req
861. I said I'd come on and do it for free
as the caretaker.
Copy !req
862. Get that mattress up there
Copy !req
863. and get that blanket up off there
and get all that.
Copy !req
864. Get all that dust and shit
up off the ground, too.
Copy !req
865. Y'all left a whole lot of shit up there
up on that counter.
Copy !req
866. Did I ask about the dough I never got?
Copy !req
867. One, two.
Copy !req
868. Uh-uh. We ain't going shoppin'.
That's for the movie.
Copy !req
869. Come on now.
Put that shit back on the rack.
Copy !req
870. Hey, make sure you do
the Dolemite bedroom on the second floor.
Copy !req
871. Make sure you do that kind of stylish.
Copy !req
872. With red carpets and red drapes,
red bedspread, you know?
Copy !req
873. Make it real comfortable in there, too.
Copy !req
874. 'Cause after we shoot in the day,
I'm gonna be sleeping in there.
Copy !req
875. - Come again. You gon'--
- Man, after I pay for the film and camera,
Copy !req
876. I can't afford my apartment no more.
I got to move in this motherfucker.
Copy !req
877. - You said we were going to a sound stage.
- I know. I—
Copy !req
878. I don't know what the hell this is.
Copy !req
879. - Jerry.
- Hey, you made it.
Copy !req
880. Hey, Rudy. Rudy, man, these are the kids
I was telling you about.
Copy !req
881. - Oh.
- Good to see you, Nick. Glad you made it.
Copy !req
882. Hey.
Copy !req
883. Dolemite is my name,
and fuckin' up motherfuckers is my game.
Copy !req
884. Oh, right. Right.
Copy !req
885. Nick von Sternberg is my name,
and UCLA Film— Film School
Copy !req
886. is the place that I— It's my school.
Copy !req
887. - Jerry I met at the acting class.
- I was his acting teacher.
Copy !req
888. I gotta tell you,
you gotta see this kid's short films.
Copy !req
889. He's amazing, man. Outstanding.
Copy !req
890. He look like one of them
Alfred Hitchcock motherfuckers.
Copy !req
891. That's very kind of you. Um...
Copy !req
892. um, currently, though,
we're looking for the— the UPM or an AD.
Copy !req
893. I'm curious, are we filming
on Panavision or Arri?
Copy !req
894. Oh, son.
Copy !req
895. We don't know all that technical stuff.
We don't know a lot about that stuff.
Copy !req
896. We got a really dedicated crew here,
you know,
Copy !req
897. but the truth is, ain't nobody
been on a movie set before,
Copy !req
898. so we don't know all that technical stuff
like lights and sound and camera.
Copy !req
899. - You know, we don't know that.
- Of course.
Copy !req
900. All right, let me show you
Dolemite Studio.
Copy !req
901. Come on over here.
Look at Dolemite Studio, y'all.
Copy !req
902. This where it all happen.
Yeah, this the epicenter, nucleus.
Copy !req
903. Why we need these white boys
tellin' us what to do?
Copy !req
904. Use your head, Ben. Don't none of us
know what the fuck we're doing.
Copy !req
905. If we're gonna make a movie,
we need movie people.
Copy !req
906. Don't matter
if they black, white or polka-dot.
Copy !req
907. Well, I ain't takin' orders from them.
Copy !req
908. You don't have to. You're the caterer.
So just feed the honkies, okay?
Copy !req
909. You're welcome, sweetie.
Copy !req
910. Lights already set up, fellas.
Copy !req
911. Mirrors on every wall.
Where am I supposed to hide my lights?
Copy !req
912. Ceiling is eight foot tall.
This is... This is impossible.
Copy !req
913. Nick? There's no juice.
Copy !req
914. Okay, check the downstairs panels,
see if there's juice down there.
Copy !req
915. Oh, no, no, no. Ain't no electricity.
Copy !req
916. Ain't no running water, neither. That's
how I got a good deal on this building.
Copy !req
917. So how do I power my lights, Rudy?
Copy !req
918. Why come somebody can't just
climb up this pole here
Copy !req
919. and steal it from next door?
Copy !req
920. I'm on it.
Copy !req
921. Rudy. Rudy.
Copy !req
922. Is that the DP?
Copy !req
923. - Is that the what?
- The DP. Director of photography.
Copy !req
924. Oh, yeah, that's him.
That's our director of photography.
Copy !req
925. How old is that cat, man?
Copy !req
926. I don't know.
Copy !req
927. Sixteen.
Copy !req
928. - Twenty.
- Oh, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.
Copy !req
929. Do you have any idea
what you doing, man?
Copy !req
930. Look, man, you need a DP
that knows how to shoot black peoples.
Copy !req
931. Whoa. Whoa, man. That's some
racist shit you talking about.
Copy !req
932. No, it's not. It's not racist.
It's a fact.
Copy !req
933. Look, look, look.
Black people absorb light.
Copy !req
934. White people reflect light.
Copy !req
935. This is cinemagical reality.
Copy !req
936. Another reality is this room is giving me
a headache. What else we got?
Copy !req
937. - Oh.
- Shit.
Copy !req
938. Goddamn.
Copy !req
939. Yeah, we gotta
get these floors fixed, Jimmy.
Copy !req
940. I mean, is anything around here useful?
Copy !req
941. Anything?
Copy !req
942. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
943. - Yeah.
- You did it.
Copy !req
944. All right, man, we in production.
Copy !req
945. It just feels like too much.
There's a cop on every page.
Copy !req
946. - I gotta do some cuts.
- All right, get some sleep.
Copy !req
947. We'll take care of it tomorrow.
Copy !req
948. - All right.
- We're gonna kill this shit tomorrow.
Copy !req
949. Absolutely. I'll see you tomorrow.
Copy !req
950. We gonna have a good first day
tomorrow. Go get some sleep.
Copy !req
951. - Good night.
- All right, good night, mama. Arigato.
Copy !req
952. 'Night, man.
Copy !req
953. Ah, shit.
Copy !req
954. Rudy, um, I'm scared about tomorrow.
Copy !req
955. Oh, don't be scared. It's gonna be
just like when we went up onstage.
Copy !req
956. No, it ain't, Rudy. I don't even like
getting my picture taken.
Copy !req
957. I'm always trying to suck in
my motherfucking gut
Copy !req
958. so I can look the best I can.
Copy !req
959. And I talked to that, uh,
long-haired boy with the camera.
Copy !req
960. He said in the movies,
Copy !req
961. it's like they taking a picture
24 times per second.
Copy !req
962. - Yeah, but that—
- No, 24 times, Rudy?
Copy !req
963. And then that picture
fucking lasts forever and ever,
Copy !req
964. long past you dead and gone.
Copy !req
965. I don't know about this shit, nigga.
Copy !req
966. "Twenty-four hours
to get out of town, Willie Green.
Copy !req
967. Willie Green, I'm giving you 24 hours
to get out of town.
Copy !req
968. And— And 23 of 'em is already gone.
Copy !req
969. Willie Green, I'm giving you 24 hours
to get out of town.
Copy !req
970. And 23 of 'em is already gone."
That's good.
Copy !req
971. "You got 24 hours to get out of town,
and twenty—
Copy !req
972. twenty-three—"
Copy !req
973. You got 24 hours to get out of town,
and 23 is already gone, motherfucker.
Copy !req
974. Twenty-three is—
Copy !req
975. You dirty motherfucker.
Copy !req
976. You told me I wasn't shit, huh?
You the one that ain't shit.
Copy !req
977. Look at me now, motherfucker.
Copy !req
978. Wanna know who I am? I'm Dolemite.
Copy !req
979. Fucking farmer.
Copy !req
980. Dolemite is my name,
and fucking up motherfuckers is my game,
Copy !req
981. you no-business-born,
rat-soup-eating, insecure motherfucker.
Copy !req
982. Dolemite is my name,
and fucking up motherfuckers is my game.
Copy !req
983. No-business-born, insecure,
junkyard-rat-soup-eating motherfucker!
Copy !req
984. That seems to work just fine.
Copy !req
985. So, how'd you find yourself
on this production?
Copy !req
986. - Oh, well, actually, I'm Rudy's protegée.
- Ah.
Copy !req
987. Yeah. I think, um,
what they call in Hollywood, um...
Copy !req
988. an ingenue.
Copy !req
989. - Ah.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
990. How did you become a part of this film?
Copy !req
991. Well—
Copy !req
992. I sort of specialize in playing
the bad white guy around town.
Copy !req
993. - Mm-hmm.
- All the black shows need a heavy.
Copy !req
994. I played the plantation owner
at the Ebony Showcase.
Copy !req
995. I played a Southern lyncher
at the Cultural Center.
Copy !req
996. And I played a rapist
at the Wilshire Ebell.
Copy !req
997. Okay. So you just basically figured out
what you're good at, huh?
Copy !req
998. This scene makes no fucking sense.
Copy !req
999. Why don't it make sense?
Copy !req
1000. Why would the warden release the prisoner
so that he can go undercover?
Copy !req
1001. Because there is a drug issue
in the neighborhood.
Copy !req
1002. We're dealing with society.
We're keepin' it real.
Copy !req
1003. Aw, come on, man. Come on.
Copy !req
1004. Look, you cats is pretending.
Copy !req
1005. You pretending like the warden
is a policeman, but he ain't.
Copy !req
1006. Wardens don't investigate.
Copy !req
1007. You forgetting that the warden
is working with the governor!
Copy !req
1008. - Thank you.
- Who gives a shit?
Copy !req
1009. How's it make any sense?
Copy !req
1010. Because the governor
is friends with Queen Bee.
Copy !req
1011. Jibber. Jabber.
Copy !req
1012. - What?
- Jibber-jabber.
Copy !req
1013. - How is it jibber-jabber?
- How is that?
Copy !req
1014. You telling me
that just because the governor
Copy !req
1015. is tight with the woman
that own the whorehouse
Copy !req
1016. that he make the prison
release her friend?
Copy !req
1017. Yes!
Copy !req
1018. Fuck it. Y'all do what you wanna do.
Copy !req
1019. - What do you think about the lighting?
- Why don't we turn off all of the lights?
Copy !req
1020. That way, we don't have to
look at the scene.
Copy !req
1021. - Hey, man, that ain't cool.
- Ow. Ow.
Copy !req
1022. I know you Mr. Big Time,
Copy !req
1023. but the rest of us ain't never done
no shit like this before.
Copy !req
1024. I'm paying for this whole goddamn thing,
and I ain't got no fucking ego about it.
Copy !req
1025. If a box need to get moved,
I will move the box,
Copy !req
1026. and if the crew get hungry,
Copy !req
1027. I go downstairs
and start making sandwiches.
Copy !req
1028. 'Cause we are here to work together
to make a movie!
Copy !req
1029. It's cool, baby. No smoke, man.
Everything cool.
Copy !req
1030. Scene two—warden's office.
Take one marker.
Copy !req
1031. Action.
Copy !req
1032. Sit down, Dolemite.
Copy !req
1033. You know Mama Queen Bee here,
I'm sure.
Copy !req
1034. For damn near two years,
Copy !req
1035. she's been bugging me
about your innocence.
Copy !req
1036. And you know the funny thing?
Copy !req
1037. I believe her.
Copy !req
1038. We've stumbled onto some facts
that may set you free.
Copy !req
1039. Now, you're a gambling man, aren't you?
Copy !req
1040. It depends on the game, Warden,
and how high the stakes are.
Copy !req
1041. Well, I might as well level with you.
Copy !req
1042. The game is rough,
and the stake is your life.
Copy !req
1043. Damn, that was so real!
Copy !req
1044. You see how he was staring at me?
I got a chill down my back.
Copy !req
1045. Man, that was some good shit.
Copy !req
1046. This gonna be a good scene.
Man, I can't wait to watch this movie.
Copy !req
1047. Hey, when can we watch the movie?
Copy !req
1048. - Cut.
- Cut!
Copy !req
1049. Cut! Cut!
Copy !req
1050. Scene three—take one marker.
Copy !req
1051. - Action.
Copy !req
1052. Hold it, Dolemite.
Copy !req
1053. What do you want?
Copy !req
1054. FBI.
Copy !req
1055. What do you want, man?
Where's your warrant at?
Copy !req
1056. This badge is my warrant.
Open up the trunk.
Copy !req
1057. There's nothing in my trunk, man.
Copy !req
1058. Open the trunk!
Copy !req
1059. That shit ain't mine.
I don't know how it got in there.
Copy !req
1060. You going to jail for a long time.
Copy !req
1061. You gonna have to take me!
Copy !req
1062. Cut! Cut. Cut.
Copy !req
1063. Is there any angle
that you could shoot this
Copy !req
1064. where it looks
like he's actually kicking him?
Copy !req
1065. There's no such angle.
Copy !req
1066. Roll it.
Copy !req
1067. Goddamn it.
Copy !req
1068. Action!
Copy !req
1069. I don't understand this cat.
Copy !req
1070. He pretending like he know karate.
Copy !req
1071. Pretending like he could be a sex machine.
Copy !req
1072. Like a little kid playin' dress-up.
Copy !req
1073. - What planet is this cat on?
- That's for fucking with me,
Copy !req
1074. you no-business-born, insecure,
junkyard-rat-soup-eating motherfuckers!
Copy !req
1075. - Cut!
Copy !req
1076. How was that?
Copy !req
1077. I see no reason to do... it again.
Copy !req
1078. Was it good as Shaft?
Copy !req
1079. Come on, Jimmy. Go faster, man.
Copy !req
1080. Come on, man. I-I borrowed this
from my cousin off the lot.
Copy !req
1081. - I told him I won't get a scratch on it.
- Don't go scratching on it.
Copy !req
1082. Just make it go faster, man.
Come on now. We rolling.
Copy !req
1083. - Big car-chase scene—take one!
Copy !req
1084. Rudy, I dunno nothin' about this
stunt-driving shit, man. This a Cadillac.
Copy !req
1085. Step on it and step on it quick!
Copy !req
1086. Burn some rubber
'cause we gonna deal with this prick!
Copy !req
1087. Drive, nigga, drive!
Copy !req
1088. Man, that's it, man!
Copy !req
1089. - All right!
- Drive, nigga, drive!
Copy !req
1090. Drive, nigga, drive!
Copy !req
1091. - They're going too fast.
- We need the speed for the puddle splash.
Copy !req
1092. Puddle splash?
Copy !req
1093. Oh, shit! Oh, no!
Copy !req
1094. - Oh, I'm brown sugar. I melt.
- Perfect.
Copy !req
1095. I ain't seen
no puddle splash in the script.
Copy !req
1096. Where's the puddle splash at?
Copy !req
1097. I've been wantin' to see me a honky dance.
Copy !req
1098. - Please. Please.
- Dance, motherfucker!
Copy !req
1099. Take one marker.
Copy !req
1100. I've been told beauty
need to be in front of the camera.
Copy !req
1101. - They about to blow the car.
- They ain't gonna blow that up. Listen—
Copy !req
1102. Going hot.
Copy !req
1103. - Going hot?
- Action!
Copy !req
1104. Who's going hot?
Copy !req
1105. He think he bad and ain't got no class.
Copy !req
1106. I'm gonna wrap this shotgun
up his motherfucking ass.
Copy !req
1107. - Three...
- Hot? What?
Copy !req
1108. - ... two, one!
- That's my cousin's car.
Copy !req
1109. Goddamn.
Copy !req
1110. - Holy...
- Shit.
Copy !req
1111. Fuck a dead duck!
Copy !req
1112. - Thank you very much.
- Yeah, man. Happy Fourth.
Copy !req
1113. Happy Fourth, man. All right.
Copy !req
1114. Tomorrow's the big day.
Copy !req
1115. What you talking about, Ben?
Copy !req
1116. Tomorrow—your big sex scene.
Copy !req
1117. You slick, man,
putting that scene in the movie
Copy !req
1118. - just so you could fuck the white girl.
- Don't be nervous.
Copy !req
1119. Guess that's why you the boss.
Copy !req
1120. Ben, you know, we ain't really fuckin'.
It's, you know, pretend.
Copy !req
1121. Whatever you say, boss.
Copy !req
1122. - Good night, Mr. Moore.
- 'Night, ladies.
Copy !req
1123. Yeah.
Copy !req
1124. Don't let that fire hit...
Copy !req
1125. Why in the fuck did Jerry
have to put this sex scene
Copy !req
1126. in the middle of this movie?
Copy !req
1127. Because you the leading man, nigga,
and you have all these half-naked girls.
Copy !req
1128. Shit, the folks gonna wanna see you
fuck one or two of 'em at least.
Copy !req
1129. I could put my foot in somebody's ass,
and I could be funny, but...
Copy !req
1130. I ain't no Billy Dee Williams, you know?
I got this big ol' belly.
Copy !req
1131. Everybody gonna be standing around.
I don't know what to do.
Copy !req
1132. When my ex used to try to
climb on top of me to bust a nut,
Copy !req
1133. I would check the fuck out
till the shit was over.
Copy !req
1134. And in the meantime,
I tried to amuse myself,
Copy !req
1135. so I'd just pretend that he was fuckin'
some mangy-ass donkey we had,
Copy !req
1136. and I be just sitting there
laughing and laughing...
Copy !req
1137. and his dumb ass
didn't even know the goddamn difference.
Copy !req
1138. Lady Reed, that ain't help me at all.
Copy !req
1139. I don't know. Maybe I'm just saying
it don't have to be all sexy and serious.
Copy !req
1140. You know, maybe it could...
Copy !req
1141. It can be funny.
Copy !req
1142. Exactly. It could be funny.
Copy !req
1143. Sex scene—take one.
Copy !req
1144. Act-ion.
Copy !req
1145. Ooh.
Copy !req
1146. Give it to me, Dolemite.
Copy !req
1147. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1148. Ooh.
Copy !req
1149. Yes.
Copy !req
1150. Dolemite. Oh.
Copy !req
1151. Oh, give it to me.
Copy !req
1152. Yes! Oh!
Copy !req
1153. Oh, give it to me.
Copy !req
1154. Oh. Oh, Dolemite. Oh, yes.
Copy !req
1155. - Put your weight on it!
- Ooh, Dolemite, give it to me.
Copy !req
1156. Oh, Dolemite. Yes!
Copy !req
1157. Oh, yes.
Copy !req
1158. - Yes.
- Put your weight on it!
Copy !req
1159. Yes!
Copy !req
1160. Blow that shit up.
Copy !req
1161. Cut.
Copy !req
1162. Yes!
Copy !req
1163. What— What happened?
Copy !req
1164. I wrote a tender,
realistic love scene, okay?
Copy !req
1165. My whole goal with this movie
was to tell it like it is.
Copy !req
1166. I dunno if it was tender,
I dunno if it was sexy,
Copy !req
1167. but it was funny as fuck.
Copy !req
1168. Ooh, Lord.
Copy !req
1169. - Two!
Copy !req
1170. - Three!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1171. - Four!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1172. Five.
Copy !req
1173. - One!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1174. - Two!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1175. - Three! Four!
- Rudy? We— We gotta talk.
Copy !req
1176. - Man, I'm trying to memorize this kung fu.
- I know. We got a real problem.
Copy !req
1177. Hyah.
Copy !req
1178. - One!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1179. - Two!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1180. - Three!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1181. - Four!
- Hyah.
Copy !req
1182. We ran out of film.
Copy !req
1183. Man, what you talking about?
What happened to all them little pieces?
Copy !req
1184. I know. The short ends.
We used them all and—
Copy !req
1185. Hyah. Hyah.
Copy !req
1186. Look, I spoke to the crew.
Copy !req
1187. They've been working under their rate
for a few weeks now.
Copy !req
1188. And I've been working for free
for a few days,
Copy !req
1189. and we're— we're on your side,
but if there's no film in the camera...
Copy !req
1190. - there's— there's no movie.
- One!
Copy !req
1191. - Hyah.
- Two!
Copy !req
1192. - Hyah.
- One!
Copy !req
1193. - Hyah.
- Two!
Copy !req
1194. - Hyah.
- One!
Copy !req
1195. Hyah!
Copy !req
1196. Another ten grand's not that simple, Rudy.
It's a lot of fucking money.
Copy !req
1197. If this thing flops, you're working
for free for the rest of your life.
Copy !req
1198. Oh, like I'm-a be y'all's slave then, huh?
Copy !req
1199. - Oh, come on.
- Don't go there, Rudy.
Copy !req
1200. You created this situation.
Don't you go there.
Copy !req
1201. Did you put in any contingency
for overruns?
Copy !req
1202. Editing? Post?
Copy !req
1203. If that means mo' money,
then, no, I'm busted.
Copy !req
1204. But I can't go back there and tell 'em
to stop now. It'll crush everybody.
Copy !req
1205. Everybody put so much
into this fucking movie, man.
Copy !req
1206. I don't wanna let 'em down like that.
Come on, man. We just an inch away.
Copy !req
1207. Let us finish this fucking movie, please.
Copy !req
1208. Okay, Rudy.
Copy !req
1209. - All right. Okay.
- Rudy. You all right?
Copy !req
1210. Okay, yeah, that's pretty good.
Copy !req
1211. Straight.
Copy !req
1212. You know, I worked with this actor once
on Rosemary's Baby.
Copy !req
1213. It's John Cassavetes.
Copy !req
1214. He makes movies, too.
Copy !req
1215. Down and dirty just like you, man.
Copy !req
1216. Yeah, I get it, D'Urville. You big time.
Copy !req
1217. Yeah, man, he put up his last dime
to get it done.
Copy !req
1218. Whatever it take to get it done.
Copy !req
1219. Yeah, man, we gonna get it done.
Copy !req
1220. No, look, man. You ain't listening to me.
Copy !req
1221. Whatever you've been feeling
about me, about the money men,
Copy !req
1222. about anybody who's ever doubted you...
Copy !req
1223. I want you to use it.
Copy !req
1224. Connect to it, man.
Copy !req
1225. Dig down inside, connect to it,
and use it.
Copy !req
1226. Put it on camera.
Copy !req
1227. Yeah. Use it, baby.
Copy !req
1228. Use it.
Copy !req
1229. Dolemite.
Copy !req
1230. Come sit down.
Copy !req
1231. Have a drink with us.
Copy !req
1232. Willie Green, I'm giving you 24 hours
to get out of town,
Copy !req
1233. and 23 done already passed.
Copy !req
1234. You cheated me.
Copy !req
1235. I want a new deal.
Copy !req
1236. Partners.
Copy !req
1237. You're really good at your business.
Copy !req
1238. You handle the business,
I'll handle the heat.
Copy !req
1239. What do you say?
Copy !req
1240. Fuck you, man.
Copy !req
1241. - Give me the gun.
Copy !req
1242. Give me the gun!
Copy !req
1243. I'm gonna kill Dolemite!
Copy !req
1244. Don't want no sweat?
Copy !req
1245. Turn this sucker out!
Copy !req
1246. Fuck 'em up, girls!
Copy !req
1247. - Hyah!
- Fight scene—take one.
Copy !req
1248. - Ah-yah.
- Fifty-five alpha, take one.
Copy !req
1249. Alpha—take one.
Copy !req
1250. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
1251. And stay down, motherfucker.
Copy !req
1252. Yeah, come on, Willie.
Come on, Willie Green.
Copy !req
1253. No, Willie Green!
Copy !req
1254. Damn it. Cheap-ass...
Copy !req
1255. Goddamn, Dolemite.
Copy !req
1256. Now it's off of you. It's on me.
Copy !req
1257. And cut.
Copy !req
1258. We done?
Copy !req
1259. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1260. We done.
Copy !req
1261. That's it, y'all. We're done.
Thank God for that shit.
Copy !req
1262. Oh, Lord, this was a living hell.
Copy !req
1263. I don't know how I got myself into this,
but they say sometimes you...
Copy !req
1264. got to go through hell to get to heaven.
Copy !req
1265. And that's exactly where I'm going.
I just got a call from Black Caesar.
Copy !req
1266. Fred Williamson. He's my friend.
Copy !req
1267. We're gonna do a real movie.
Copy !req
1268. Damn.
Copy !req
1269. So I wanted to say y'all did a good job.
Copy !req
1270. Crew, stunt peoples...
Copy !req
1271. whores.
Copy !req
1272. I'm going on now. I'll see y'all
at the— at the premiere. Okay.
Copy !req
1273. No, no, no.
Probably won't be a premiere, so...
Copy !req
1274. Some bullshit.
Copy !req
1275. - Man, fuck him.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1276. I like the movie.
Copy !req
1277. Yeah, me too. Fuck,
I think the motherfucker was a four-star.
Copy !req
1278. - Rudy, you did it. We made a movie.
- That's amazing shit.
Copy !req
1279. Yeah, we did.
Copy !req
1280. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's not over
until you say, "That's a wrap."
Copy !req
1281. All right, y'all, that's a wrap.
Copy !req
1282. - No, no, no, no.
- Give us a Dolemite wrap.
Copy !req
1283. That's a motherfuckin' wrap!
Copy !req
1284. That's a no-business-born!
Copy !req
1285. Insecure!
Copy !req
1286. Barnyard motherfuckin' wrap!
Copy !req
1287. Yeah!
Copy !req
1288. I'm a bad motherfucker, dude.
We made a hell of a movie.
Copy !req
1289. Congratulations, y'all.
We made this motherfucking movie!
Copy !req
1290. Comedian International.
How may I help you?
Copy !req
1291. Oh, no, Mr. Moore is available.
One second, please.
Copy !req
1292. Yes, this is Rudy Ray Moore.
Who am I speaking with?
Copy !req
1293. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Did you get a chance
to review my production?
Copy !req
1294. You did? Yes, okay. What—
Copy !req
1295. Well, yes, it was a real movie.
Copy !req
1296. It is a actual real movie,
and everybody got paid, yes.
Copy !req
1297. Yes, very professional production. Right.
Copy !req
1298. No, I learned-I learned kung fu
for the movie.
Copy !req
1299. I didn't know kung fu
before I started the movie.
Copy !req
1300. Yes. Oh, no, you— Yeah, you're right.
This was Lady Reed's first production.
Copy !req
1301. Right, this was her motion-picture debut.
Copy !req
1302. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1303. Really?
Copy !req
1304. Oh, well.
Copy !req
1305. Well, you know, we was gonna do
a fresh new edit on
Copy !req
1306. and was gonna change a couple of things
and are-shoot for-for the ending.
Copy !req
1307. Change the ending ar—
Copy !req
1308. Right.
Copy !req
1309. Okay.
Copy !req
1310. All right, well, yeah.
No, we totally understand.
Copy !req
1311. Yeah, man, thank you so much
for your consideration.
Copy !req
1312. Well... at least we had a good time.
Copy !req
1313. You know what, Ben? Fuck you, man.
Copy !req
1314. Your ass had fun 'cause you ain't
have to pay for all this shit.
Copy !req
1315. I'm in debt up to my ears.
Copy !req
1316. I gave all my record royalties
to the Bihari Brothers,
Copy !req
1317. and don't nobody want this damn movie.
Copy !req
1318. Nigga, you got a whole lot of nerve
Copy !req
1319. ordering a extra side of greens
at a time like this.
Copy !req
1320. Pay for these fucking greens yourself.
Copy !req
1321. In fact, you're gonna all start paying
for your own shit,
Copy !req
1322. 'cause I ain't no fucking endless faucet
of fucking money.
Copy !req
1323. Here, you pay for them waffles,
you pay for that burger,
Copy !req
1324. you pay for your shit,
your extra greens, nigga.
Copy !req
1325. You're having strawberries.
Copy !req
1326. You pay for your motherfucking
strawberries your damn self.
Copy !req
1327. I don't understand your attitude.
Copy !req
1328. I mean, it ain't like you ain't
never been told no before, Rudy.
Copy !req
1329. - I mean, you're the comeback king, man.
- Yeah, when we doing stuff I know about.
Copy !req
1330. Nightclubs and records.
Those is my world, okay?
Copy !req
1331. A man slam a door in my face,
I just find another door.
Copy !req
1332. Thought anybody could be a star.
Copy !req
1333. But apparently don't nobody wanna see
our ugly black ass up on the screen!
Copy !req
1334. Strawberry shortcake-eating motherfucker.
Copy !req
1335. - Hey, man, I like strawberry— Rudy!
- Come on, Rudy!
Copy !req
1336. Yes, I was born
in a barrel of butcher knives,
Copy !req
1337. then shot in the ass twice
with two Colt.45s.
Copy !req
1338. Yes, I been slapped by a bear
and bit by an eel.
Copy !req
1339. I chew up railroad iron,
and I shit out steel.
Copy !req
1340. Yes, I was kicked out of South America
for fucking steers.
Copy !req
1341. I fucked the she-elephant
till she broke down to tears.
Copy !req
1342. I just can't believe
I'm back here on this grind.
Copy !req
1343. I'm actually worse off than I was before,
Copy !req
1344. 'cause I don't even own my records
no more.
Copy !req
1345. Now what kind of fool works so hard
to build something up like that
Copy !req
1346. and just throw the shit all away?
Copy !req
1347. Ah-ah. Mm-mm.
Copy !req
1348. No, Rudy. You ain't no fool now.
Watch your mouth.
Copy !req
1349. I thought that movie
was gon' change everything,
Copy !req
1350. make me a fucking star.
Copy !req
1351. Well, you're still a star to me.
Copy !req
1352. Okay.
Copy !req
1353. Good night, Lady Reed.
Copy !req
1354. Good night, Rudy.
Copy !req
1355. Bobby Vale in the Morning,
WFKK, Indianapolis.
Copy !req
1356. And we are so excited
to have Mr. Rudy Ray Moore,
Copy !req
1357. the man, the legend,
the phenomenon in studio.
Copy !req
1358. I'm looking right at him.
I'm sittin' with him right now,
Copy !req
1359. and he's gonna be in Indianapolis
all week performing at Gordy's Lounge,
Copy !req
1360. so give it up for Mr. Rudy Ray Moore.
Copy !req
1361. All right, man.
Really happy to be here today.
Copy !req
1362. Now, Rudy, I gotta ask you this
'cause I'm a hell of a fan.
Copy !req
1363. Yeah, man.
Copy !req
1364. There's a rumor
that you made a Dolemite movie.
Copy !req
1365. Is that true? And if it is,
when can we see this movie?
Copy !req
1366. I wish I could answer the question, y'all,
Copy !req
1367. but I really can't answer the question
at this time, 'cause I just don't know.
Copy !req
1368. You're not gon' give us nothing?
Copy !req
1369. I-I really can't really
give y'all the date—
Copy !req
1370. A hint.
Copy !req
1371. If I had a hint, I give it to y'all, man.
You know me.
Copy !req
1372. You know if I had a date,
Copy !req
1373. I'd tell y'all right now,
but I don't know nothin'.
Copy !req
1374. Hey, we'll be right back
with Rudy Ray Moore.
Copy !req
1375. This is Bobby Vale, WFKK, Indianapolis.
Copy !req
1376. What the fuck is your problem, man?
Copy !req
1377. I'm tryin' to help you out.
Copy !req
1378. I'm in here promoting you, and you won't
even answer my fuckin' questions.
Copy !req
1379. Hey, look, Bobby.
I can't answer your goddamn question
Copy !req
1380. 'cause the movie
ain't never comin' out, okay?
Copy !req
1381. - That don't make no sense.
- Yeah, but it's true. It's done.
Copy !req
1382. Don't nobody wanna show the motherfucker.
I don't know what to do, man.
Copy !req
1383. You know what?
Copy !req
1384. I got a cousin
Copy !req
1385. that manages a movie theater
called Uptown.
Copy !req
1386. Maybe...
Copy !req
1387. should give him a call.
Copy !req
1388. But what's he gonna do?
Copy !req
1389. I don't know. Maybe run it.
Play your damn movie. Fuck it. Can't hurt.
Copy !req
1390. And we are back.
Copy !req
1391. Now, we don't have
a midnight movie on Friday,
Copy !req
1392. so I suppose we could do it then.
Copy !req
1393. How does $500 sound?
Copy !req
1394. That sounds fair. Perfect.
Copy !req
1395. So, when can I receive my advance?
Copy !req
1396. - What? Advance?
- The money. When you gonna pay me?
Copy !req
1397. No. You see,
this is what they call four-walling.
Copy !req
1398. Yeah. You pay me,
and then you get all the ticket sales.
Copy !req
1399. We did it with Billy Jack.
Copy !req
1400. And I think we even did it
with Grizzly Adams.
Copy !req
1401. Man, you could clean up
if you successful.
Copy !req
1402. So I got to pay to show my movie?
Copy !req
1403. Well, goddamn. Am I gonna get
some of the popcorn money?
Copy !req
1404. Oh, that's mine.
But you get all the box office.
Copy !req
1405. Now, if you promote the shit
out the movie—
Copy !req
1406. aw, you could make some serious bread.
Copy !req
1407. Toney. I need you to break
into a hotel right now.
Copy !req
1408. The Dunbar, man!
Copy !req
1409. Look, I need you to go up
into my bedroom in the Dunbar
Copy !req
1410. and get all five reels
and put 'em on a plane tonight!
Copy !req
1411. I need that movie in Indianapolis
right now!
Copy !req
1412. Hey, my man. Hey, brother,
don't miss it. This Friday.
Copy !req
1413. Uptown Theater.
Dolemite in person, live in person.
Copy !req
1414. That's me, Rudy Ray Moore, baby.
Come on down and check me out.
Copy !req
1415. Ladies, come on down
to the Uptown Theater.
Copy !req
1416. Shit, we don't want you all up
into any damn movie with your tight ass.
Copy !req
1417. You got the cutest little baby.
Copy !req
1418. Hi, little baby. Jibbee, jibbee.
Come down to Dolemite Theater, all right?
Copy !req
1419. Can't bring the baby, though.
Brother, come to the theater tomorrow.
Copy !req
1420. If you crave satisfaction,
this is the place to find that action.
Copy !req
1421. Coming to the Uptown Theater
as its next attraction!
Copy !req
1422. A movie guaranteed
to put your black ass in traction.
Copy !req
1423. Dolemite! Dolemite!
Copy !req
1424. Hey, baby! Make sure
you get down there, mama!
Copy !req
1425. Bobby Vale, WFKK.
Copy !req
1426. We're givin' out two tickets
to the tenth caller to the Dolemite movie.
Copy !req
1427. Tonight. Midnight screening. That's right.
Copy !req
1428. The Dolemite movie. It's like Christmas,
Copy !req
1429. except your daddy ain't drunk,
and your mama ain't cryin'.
Copy !req
1430. Can I help you?
Copy !req
1431. One ticket for Dolemite.
Copy !req
1432. Come on, bro.
Copy !req
1433. Okay, okay. Let me get six tickets.
Copy !req
1434. Tired of paying
for y'all broke asses, man.
Copy !req
1435. - And here's your change.
Copy !req
1436. Okay, let's see...
Copy !req
1437. Huh.
Copy !req
1438. You about to make a whole lot of green.
Copy !req
1439. Man, you about to sell
all your popcorn, nigga.
Copy !req
1440. My women is right on time.
Copy !req
1441. You've been gone for so long.
Got a lot of warming up to do.
Copy !req
1442. - No shit, baby.
- I can dig it.
Copy !req
1443. Look at the shit they gave me
to get out of prison, man.
Copy !req
1444. Glad y'all brought my clothes.
Copy !req
1445. You bring me fucking cotton drawers.
I don't wear fucking cotton drawers.
Copy !req
1446. - Yeah.
Copy !req
1447. Quick! Burn some rubber
'cause we gonna deal with this prick.
Copy !req
1448. Drive, nigga, drive!
Copy !req
1449. Drive, nigga, drive!
Copy !req
1450. I've been wantin' to see me
a honky dance. Dance, motherfucker!
Copy !req
1451. Dance!
Copy !req
1452. This motherfucker got rhythm,
haven't he?
Copy !req
1453. Rudy.
Copy !req
1454. I'm a little confused.
Now, is this movie supposed to be funny?
Copy !req
1455. I was expecting a Shaft kind of a thing.
Copy !req
1456. Of course it's supposed to be funny.
They get it. That's why they're laughin'.
Copy !req
1457. It's a comedy
and it's sexy and it's action.
Copy !req
1458. It's a total entertainment experience.
Copy !req
1459. He made me do it!
Copy !req
1460. Bitch, are you for real?
Copy !req
1461. Kill him, Charlie!
Copy !req
1462. Y'all don't believe I'd jump, huh?
Copy !req
1463. So I did good shit.
Copy !req
1464. Yeah!
Copy !req
1465. What the fuckety fuck?
Copy !req
1466. Hey, man. They said I got a call.
Copy !req
1467. - Hello?
- Is this Rudy?
Copy !req
1468. Rudy Ray Moore,
Copy !req
1469. the mad genius who four-walled
the Uptown in Indianapolis,
Copy !req
1470. - set a new house record?
- Hey, man, hurry up.
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1471. I got a five-hour drive to my next gig.
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1472. - What's going on?
- Hang on.
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1473. You know how hard it was for me
to find this number? Is this your office?
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1474. Yeah, this my office.
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1475. Well, I'm delighted
to finally speak with you.
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1476. My name is Lawrence Woolner,
and I run Dimension Pictures.
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1477. Dimension Pictures?
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1478. Ain't y'all the rat soup-eating
motherfuckers that rejected me?
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1479. Uh, that's right. That's right.
We did, but, uh, well...
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1480. Hollywood is a fickle mistress,
and we got a pitch for you that I...
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1481. I think is gonna knock you
out of your seat.
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1482. Dimension Pictures International
would like to buy Dolemite.
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1483. What?
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1484. Yeah, we got appointment.
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1485. Hey, so, what we supposed to say?
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1486. Nothing. Nobody say a fucking word.
Just keep your mouths shut.
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1487. Only reason you're here is to make me
look like a legitimate organization.
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1488. You got hot sauce on your shirt.
Man, clean that shit off, nigga.
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1489. - Come on, get the shit together.
- Okay, okay, okay.
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1490. It's cool.
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1491. Gentlemen, ma'am,
we're thrilled to have you here.
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1492. I've brought the whole
Dimension Films team.
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1493. Yes, and these are my esteemed colleagues
from Generation International.
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1494. This is Miss Reed, Mr. Taylor,
Mr. Toney, and Mr. Lynch.
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1495. Pleasure.
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1496. Uh, sorry, I'm confused.
What is Generation International?
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1497. I thought you said your production company
was Comedian International.
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1498. Comedian International is
a subsidiary of Generation International.
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1499. Comedian International handles
my live bookings and audio recordings,
Copy !req
1500. things like that.
Copy !req
1501. Generation International,
they handle my cinematic output.
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1502. Okay, well...
We're here to talk about your movie.
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1503. We think
there's a golden opportunity here.
Copy !req
1504. Look, one thing you need to explain to me
is why for come I need you?
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1505. 'Cause far as I can see, man,
I'm doing pretty fuckin' good by myself.
Copy !req
1506. Well, now, Rudy,
Copy !req
1507. there's a certain professional way
to go about distributing a film.
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1508. We all know that there's a history
of niggas making some art,
Copy !req
1509. and the white man come along
and steal all the money.
Copy !req
1510. And y'all sure in the fuck
ain't finna do to me
Copy !req
1511. what they did to Chuck Berry, huh? Hmm?
Copy !req
1512. You know what?
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1513. You wanna do it your way,
you go right ahead.
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1514. You go out there, you introduce your movie
into every theater in the country.
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1515. You know, knock yourself out.
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1516. You're gonna be releasing Dolemite
for the next five years.
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1517. But if you wanna do it right,
well, here we are.
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1518. You know, hey...
Now, we've passed once, so...
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1519. we fucked up.
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1520. - Damn right, you fucked up.
- You knock it down.
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1521. That's the understatement of the year.
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1522. But allow us now to sell ourselves to you.
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1523. Dimension International—
we have two sweet spots.
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1524. Redneck pictures.
Copy !req
1525. Right? Those are hillbillies
Copy !req
1526. and moonshine and sheriffs,
and those play at the Southern drive-ins.
Copy !req
1527. Now, the second sweet spot
is blaxploitation films.
Copy !req
1528. It's films about blacks and for blacks.
And you know where they play?
Copy !req
1529. They play in
the big beautiful movie showcases.
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1530. And every downtown has 'em.
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1531. They were built in the 1920s.
They seat 2,000, 3,000 people.
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1532. They used to be very popular,
Copy !req
1533. but then the white audience,
you know, skedaddled out to the suburbs.
Copy !req
1534. And what's left?
Well, the black urban audience.
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1535. Now, I'll tell you what.
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1536. If we book the right films,
your film, these...
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1537. well, there is no other word for it,
but resplendent movie palaces,
Copy !req
1538. well, I think we can make a killing.
Copy !req
1539. You know...
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1540. in my new movie, there's a scene
Copy !req
1541. where big bad Willie Green
comes back to town, and my club is stolen.
Copy !req
1542. Takes all my receipts
and all my cash and all the girls.
Copy !req
1543. Everything I been building up
my whole life.
Copy !req
1544. He comes along, tries to take possession
'cause he think I don't know no better.
Copy !req
1545. But that's when I start to take charge...
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1546. and I start showing motherfuckers
who's boss.
Copy !req
1547. 'Cause Dolemite ain't getting ripped off.
Copy !req
1548. Can you dig it?
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1549. You gonna rip my guts out now?
Copy !req
1550. We'll talk
after the first profit statement.
Copy !req
1551. All right!
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1552. All right now.
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1553. We gonna be on Dimension Films.
Copy !req
1554. Dolemite's gonna be on Dimension Films.
Copy !req
1555. Opening this Friday at the Avon Theater!
Copy !req
1556. Opening this Friday night
at the Moonlight Drive-In!
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1557. Opening Friday night at the Cameo!
Copy !req
1558. Get him on the fucking phone,
and this time, you talk to him.
Copy !req
1559. You're not gonna believe who paid us back.
Copy !req
1560. Yes, I put my finger in the ground
and turned the whole world upside down!
Copy !req
1561. Dolemite!
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1562. Dolemite! Rated "R."
Copy !req
1563. Under 17,
not permitted without your parent
Copy !req
1564. or permission from your warden.
Copy !req
1565. Aw, shit now.
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1566. Look at y'all. I see ya.
Copy !req
1567. Whoo.
Copy !req
1568. Well, don't you look good.
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1569. Milady.
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1570. Hey, Rudy.
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1571. Baby, we have come a long way
from that club and that cow pasture.
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1572. Oh, yes, mama, we have. Yes, we have.
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1573. Oh, oh, Rudy, um...
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1574. I wanted to tell you something.
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1575. Uh...
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1576. I just wanted to say
that I'm so grateful.
Copy !req
1577. I'm so grateful
for you putting me in this movie,
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1578. 'cause I ain't never seen nobody
that looks like me...
Copy !req
1579. up there on that big screen.
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1580. You know what I'm saying? Oh, shit.
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1581. I may not be sexy, but I'm a real woman...
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1582. and I really appreciate
what you did for me.
Copy !req
1583. So thank you.
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1584. Yeah, y'all ready to go?
Put your weight on it!
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1585. Ooh, yes. All right. Look at this ad,
Rudy! You looking hot now.
Copy !req
1586. Aw, yeah. Put your weight on it.
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1587. That's what I'm talking about.
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1588. Hey, hey, I found a review.
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1589. What's that say?
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1590. Go ahead, man. Just spit it out.
Copy !req
1591. Go on, say what is it.
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1592. "Dull-emite is a more apt title."
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1593. What'd you say?
What'd you just say? "Dull" or "Dol"?
Copy !req
1594. - Dull.
- Oh, really?
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1595. Dull-emite. Dull-emite.
Copy !req
1596. Um...
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1597. "This could be
the lamest film of the year.
Copy !req
1598. The plot is vague,
and the actors scream their lines.
Copy !req
1599. Its only touch of originality
is in the introduction of...
Copy !req
1600. the fat man as romantic hero."
Copy !req
1601. - What's wrong with being portly?
- Not a damn thing.
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1602. I don't see nothing wrong with adding
a few extra pounds, personally.
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1603. - Exactly. Ain't nothing wrong...
- Fuck them.
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1604. - ... with being a little heavyset.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1605. That's just one review.
What's yours say there, Jerry?
Copy !req
1606. Um...
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1607. "Dolemite is dreadful, humorless,
and a technically terrible movie."
Copy !req
1608. Fuck that, Jerry, man.
Critics don't know nothing.
Copy !req
1609. I don't even know
why they come in the first place.
Copy !req
1610. They don't even like to have fun.
Nobody care what the critics say.
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1611. And besides, everybody know
when the brothers go to movies,
Copy !req
1612. they wanna see car crashes,
explosions, and titties.
Copy !req
1613. - And we've delivered that.
- Sho' did.
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1614. Look at this one right here.
This is perfect.
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1615. "Dolemite isn't fit
for a blind dog to see.
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1616. It is coarse, rude, crude,
and vulgar." Perfect.
Copy !req
1617. "Perfect"? But why in the world
do you like that one?
Copy !req
1618. That's gonna make people say,
"I'm going."
Copy !req
1619. They gonna wanna see just how coarse,
rude, crude, and vulgar Dolemite is.
Copy !req
1620. I'll be damned.
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1621. Hey, don't nobody worry about nothing.
Copy !req
1622. No matter what happens,
tonight is a victory already,
Copy !req
1623. even if don't but five people show up.
Copy !req
1624. Look how far we came.
Copy !req
1625. We riding in a limousine on opening night
to see our movie that we made.
Copy !req
1626. I'm proud of myself. Y'all should
all be proud of y'all selves, too,
Copy !req
1627. 'cause I'm proud of y'all, we family,
and we did a movie.
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1628. - We going to see our movie.
- That's right.
Copy !req
1629. We gotta make a promise
to ourselves.
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1630. - No matter what happens...
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1631. we have a great time.
Copy !req
1632. Hmm?
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1633. - Yeah, you're right.
- Agreed.
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1634. - Okay.
- All right.
Copy !req
1635. - Yeah, Rudy.
- Thank you, Rudy.
Copy !req
1636. - You're already a winner.
- We winners.
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1637. - That's right, we're winners.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1638. - I feel good.
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1639. - What happened? What's going on?
- Sweet Jesus.
Copy !req
1640. - What happened?
- Rudy! Rudy, look!
Copy !req
1641. What's going on?
Copy !req
1642. Hey, let down the window, man!
Copy !req
1643. Holy fuck.
Copy !req
1644. Rudy, look at all these people.
Copy !req
1645. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1646. - Well done, everybody. Well done, Rudy.
- That is some crowd.
Copy !req
1647. Mr. Moore? Mr. Moore.
It's an honor to have you here.
Copy !req
1648. But we need to move you inside!
We're not equipped for this kind of crowd!
Copy !req
1649. It's crazy. So if we could
just get you to move inside!
Copy !req
1650. The four chairs to the right.
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1651. Rudy. Rudy. I am your biggest fan.
I know. I have all your albums.
Copy !req
1652. - Rudy.
- This is crazy.
Copy !req
1653. All right, let's all keep walking.
We have to get started.
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1654. We already sold out the 10 p.m.
and the midnight.
Copy !req
1655. And I think we have to add 2 a.m.
just to make everybody happy.
Copy !req
1656. These people are gonna be here
till 2 a.m.?
Copy !req
1657. Oh, yes, sir. Your seat's down front.
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1658. Rudy, man. We gonna miss
the opening credits. Come on now.
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1659. Come on, man. My song.
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1660. Give me a minute.
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1661. Autograph?
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1662. - I wanna see the movie.
- I don't know if we can see the movie—
Copy !req
1663. Say, little man! You sure you old enough
to be up this late at night?
Copy !req
1664. Oh, he just won't stop talkin' about you.
Copy !req
1665. - He always doin' your shit.
- I love your rhymin', Rudy. It's so bad.
Copy !req
1666. No, you the one's that bad.
Copy !req
1667. I do your rhymin', just like Dolemite.
But then I make it about me.
Copy !req
1668. Oh, really? Let me hear what you got, boy.
Copy !req
1669. You heard about Dolemite
and the Titanic.
Copy !req
1670. There's a new kid around
finna be gi-gan-tic.
Copy !req
1671. Young boy,
who in the hell do you think you are
Copy !req
1672. trying to topple
the world's greatest star?
Copy !req
1673. I use a earthquake to make a milkshake.
Copy !req
1674. - Hey, that's my line.
- I know more.
Copy !req
1675. Mighty Donald is my name, and...
Copy !req
1676. Fuckin' up motherfuckers is my game.
Copy !req
1677. Boy, you got the gift.
Copy !req
1678. Don't never let nobody tell you
you can't be anything you wanna be.
Copy !req
1679. - Understand?
- Yes, sir.
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1680. Rudy, come on.
The film 'bout to start.
Copy !req
1681. Hey, Lady Reed. Why don't you go on
and watch the movie? I seen it already.
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1682. These people gonna be out here
till two o'clock in the morning,
Copy !req
1683. and they came to see Dolemite, so...
Copy !req
1684. I'm gonna give 'em Dolemite.
Copy !req
1685. - All right?
- All right.
Copy !req
1686. Okay.
Copy !req
1687. Wow.
Copy !req
1688. Right on.
Copy !req
1689. Hello, you motherfuckers!
Copy !req
1690. - We love you, Rudy!
- Yes, ladies and gentlemen.
Copy !req
1691. I just wanna say it's a pleasure
to have y'all come out here tonight,
Copy !req
1692. but I'm sorry to tell you,
it's gonna be a bit of a wait!
Copy !req
1693. But don't worry. Don't nobody leave,
Copy !req
1694. 'cause I promise you
it's gonna be worth it!
Copy !req
1695. 'Cause like I always say,
Dolemite is my name,
Copy !req
1696. and rappin' and tappin' is my game.
Copy !req
1697. Yes, I'm young and free
and just as bad as I wanna be.
Copy !req
1698. Take a look at me.
Copy !req
1699. I'm a rare specimen of a man,
don't you agree?
Copy !req
1700. I want you to live the life that you love
and love the life that you live.
Copy !req
1701. From the frantic Atlantic
to the terrific Pacific,
Copy !req
1702. be the best of whatever you are.
Copy !req
1703. Shoot for the moon, and if you miss it,
cling on to a motherfucking star.
Copy !req
1704. Dance!
Copy !req
1705. Dance!
Copy !req
1706. You should be very proud of her.
Copy !req
1707. For damn near two years,
she's been bugging me about doing this.
Copy !req
1708. Drive, nigga, drive!
Copy !req
1709. Stop you.
Copy !req
1710. I'm gonna let 'em know
Copy !req
1711. that Dolemite is my name,
and fucking up motherfuckers is my name.
Copy !req
1712. He made me do it!
Copy !req
1713. Bitch, are you for real?
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